2020 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

[Maracujá]

Dear Ladies,

While I think that this Pandemic has been truly a blindside for all of us. I believe for many black women it has given many of us time to truly take care of ourselves, prioritize, tap into our feminine side, manifest, get creative and resourceful and understand the power dynamics as the world reorganizes itself.

Best,
Almond Eyes

Twitter will be closing all its offices...indefinitely. All their employees are gonna get to work from home . Let's keep praying, this could put an end to micro aggressions at work. Of course, there will be other challenges, but we will cross that bridge when we get there .

 

[awhyley]

Twitter will be closing all its offices...indefinitely. All their employees are gonna get to work from home . Let's keep praying, this could put an end to micro aggressions at work. Of course, there will be other challenges, but we will cross that bridge when we get there .

Nah, there's still email. But I get what you're saying, those face-to-face confrontations will be minimized, which in itself would help in varying degrees.

(Saving emails now will be even more important than ever.)

Photos look like they are from a beautiful cook book.

I agreed. I meant to say this but forgot. @Maracujá your photography skills are excellent! The lightning, the color composition, placement, etc... Everything is on point!

At first, I didn't realize that they were photos taken by you. Very nice work!

 

[Maracujá]

Nah, there's still email. But I get what you're saying, those face-to-face confrontations will be minimized, which in itself would help in varying degrees.

(Saving emails now will be even more important than ever.)


At first, I didn't realize that they were photos taken by you. Very nice work!

Honestly, I'm living by the adage: 'Men lie. Women lie. Numbers don't lie.' Currently working in an environment where our every move is monitored and my numbers have remained steadfast. So that minimizes interaction to the essential. Having spent so much time here and being an INTJ, I thrive in written communication. Especially with Europeans.

Also living by: 'You do not speak, unless you are spoken to.' My sister who will be turning 45 told me to keep a low profile, just in general actually and it's truly helping. Every bit of time off I can take, I do it . So many people refuse to accept that times have changed. Hopefully more Black women will embrace it. This will require us to be more feminine, to work better with our SOs/DHs. Can't be working at home while all hell is breaking loose in the background . We're up for it ladies .

Thank you for the compliment . Took some free photography lessons last year, at the Apple offices in Brussels. Had to get t here by bus too, as I was running low on cash . It was given by this Star Wars geek and it has helped me. Hoping to make it a side hustle of sorts .

 

[Maracujá]

 

[Chicoro]

@Maracujá
You could write a book about creating warm meals and a cozy home. You could also write it in your five languages that you speak.
1 English
2. French
3.Dutch
4.Portuguese
5. Language of home village in Angola (Bantu)

That's five different income streams from one book. How many people could actually do this? You could. You have a tremendous amount of talent and skills. This is something you could do without having to interact with lots of people.

You already have a blog. You could market your book on that. You could sale your book on Amazon.

Book reference: The Well Fed Self Publisher.

 

[almond eyes]

@Maracujá
You could write a book about creating warm meals and a cozy home. You could also write it in your five languages that you speak.
1 English
2. French
3.Dutch
4.Portuguese
5. Language of home village in Angola (Bantu)

That's five different income streams from one book. How many people could actually do this? You could. You have a tremendous amount of talent and skills. This is something you could do without having to interact with lots of people.

You already have a blog. You could market your book on that. You could sale your book on Amazon.

Book reference: The Well Fed Self Publisher.

Co-signing. I love it!!!!!

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[almond eyes]

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Hi Maracuja,

Love your posts. Kindly, what is the name of your blog?

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[tinkat]

I have noticed that I am more patient with my daughter and present. She is at that age where she is more expressive when she wants my attention or wants me to play or read a book to her. I realize how important that this is in all my relationships to make time to communicate and connect with my loved ones. I realize how in the past I would avoid certain phone calls or interactions just because of not being in the mood, which is okay if I am sleeping. However I can recognize when I am avoiding or being resistant. I can say that I have gotten way better over the years with resistance when it comes to that. I am still working on not being so aggressive when I am truly upset about something. When talking to my therapist, we discussed how it is important for me to express myself instead of holding things in and then losing my cool later on. I have this past week made sure to express gratitude to my husband and how helpful he has been.

Week 13 Challenge
1. Make time to practice your ability to communicate with love. Make time to see things with fresh eyes and be excited about each and every moment you spend with your loved ones. Seeing things with fresh eyes, take the time to slow down, be very present, and offer LOVE to everyone you meet while remaining open, receptive, flowy, and sweet on the outside (strong on the inside in your boundaries)

2. How could you increase your A behaviors to your loved ones? (Appreciation, Admiration, and Affirmation)
One thing that is helpful in expressing gratitude daily and writing it down daily in my journal. Also writing down things that I appreciate about myself also is helpful. It allows me recognize what I am grateful for and not focus so much on lack.

3. How could you increase the emotional safety of your loved ones?

The biggest thing is making sure I communicate with them more often.

 

[snoop]

Participants -
@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@almond eyes
@tinkat
@Chicoro
@cravoecanela






Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home

As a woman you have the ability to build your home or tear it to a million pieces.
Make your house a place that your husband and children want to come home to. Think about how your home looks, smells, sounds, tastes like (the food you cook), and the feelings you have when you walk in the front door. Find out what is important to your husband. Many men don't sweat the little things but most importantly they want to come home to a peaceful environment and a happy and loving wife. We know there can be many reasons for this and all are not solely your fault, but how can YOU change the quality of your home and change your HOUSE into a HAVEN today? What little baby steps would need to occur to create a bigger picture?

One way you can transform your home is with music. Whenever appropriate, have music playing in the home. The type of music is not what is most important, but classical and jazz has been known to have positive frequencies (528 Hz) that encourages creativity, mental efficiency, and productivity.

Every husband and family will be different but what is it that makes your family feel comfortable? Make your home a place that your family can come home to feel refreshed.


Week 22 Challenge
1. What is it that you could do to help your house feel comfortable?
2. What small baby steps could you work on to help your family come home and feel refreshed? Add a candle? Purchase a bouquet of flowers for the dining room table?
3. How could you nurture a musical home? Turn on some jazz music for when the kids come home from school? Smile and play soothing music while giving nonsexual touch when your significant other comes home? Give yourself some me time and unwind to music?
4. What is it that could transform your home through you setting the tone?

 

[caribeandiva]

I think my home is already a very welcoming place. People always compliment me on it and ask me to host get togethers like movie nights, etc... They like how airy, light and breezy it feels. Last time my friend came over to see it for the first time, she was so comfortable that she fell asleep on my couch! what I could improve is to get the bath and body works wallflowers refills. That way I can leave them plugged in and have my house smell good all the time. Right now I have scented candles but I can’t leave them burning while I’m not home. I also like the idea of music. I don’t do jazz but I do have a Bluetooth speaker and I blast my trap/ratchet playlist all over. I love to dance and I be dropping it low when the music gets me.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

LWeek 22 Challenge
1. What is it that you could do to help your house feel comfortable?
Make sure the smells are appealing. I try to buy candles that fit the season. So fall is all about cinnamon, winter is something light & holiday, spring is fresh rain, summer is a light floral scent or fresh laundry
2. What small baby steps could you work on to help your family come home and feel refreshed? Add a candle? Purchase a bouquet of flowers for the dining room table?

3. How could you nurture a musical home? Turn on some jazz music for when the kids come home from school? Smile and play soothing music while giving nonsexual touch when your significant other comes home? Give yourself some me time and unwind to music?
I’m always playing soft classic r&b in the background.
4. What is it that could transform your home through you setting the tone?
Don’t run myself ragged seeking perfection. My house can be sanitary and comfortable and imperfect

 

[Maracujá]

1. What is it that you could do to help your house feel comfortable?

Add more rugs and carpets. There's just something about walking barefoot on something soft, that makes you...soften up .

2. What small baby steps could you work on to help your family come home and feel refreshed? Add a candle? Purchase a bouquet of flowers for the dining room table?

Add flowers and candles to my bathroom. I'm also looking at bath bombs. Back in the days I used to fill my bathroom with tons of products, that was during my self-discovery phase. Now that I - finally - know what works for me, there's no more need for that.



3. How could you nurture a musical home? Turn on some jazz music for when the kids come home from school? Smile and play soothing music while giving nonsexual touch when your significant other comes home? Give yourself some me time and unwind to music?

Grew up in a very musical home. Angolan culture is all about music as well. So there's always music playing in the background in my home. It centers me. Yesterday I spent the day listening to songs serenading African cities, since it was Africa Day. Love 90s R&B as well.

4. What is it that could transform your home through you setting the tone?

Just being more calm and peaceful. Was visiting a close friend once, while my sister was living with her. And I'll never forget the way she walked into the door. She literally started greeting us, the minute she turned the key to her home. It baffled me and left such a good impression on me.

In the 20 years that I've known her, there's only been one case of death in her family. Simply because they always celebrate life. Like this was the first year she didn't spend Mother's Day with her mom and it hurt her very much. She is über feminine and always pleasant. She's an INFJ whereas I'm an INTJ. Meaning I don't always have people to practice this on . But I'm learning to be kind to myself. I enjoy Dappy T Keys's channel and it helps to play it in the background while I'm working from home .

 

[Maracujá]

Very insightful imo. It also helped me put two and two together: we're living in a feminine era, so relationships are gonna be more important. Even on economic + financial terms. The Chamber of Commerce in Belgium is pushing for longer work hours and night shifts. I emailed the HR-department at my job and they said they will not be allowing us to put in extra work. They want to prioritize the home.

 

[MamaBear2012]

I think my home is already a very welcoming place. People always compliment me on it and ask me to host get togethers like movie nights, etc... They like how airy, light and breezy it feels. Last time my friend came over to see it for the first time, she was so comfortable that she fell asleep on my couch! what I could improve is to get the bath and body works wallflowers refills. That way I can leave them plugged in and have my house smell good all the time. Right now I have scented candles but I can’t leave them burning while I’m not home. I also like the idea of music. I don’t do jazz but I do have a Bluetooth speaker and I blast my trap/ratchet playlist all over. I love to dance and I be dropping it low when the music gets me.

I need tips!! I love our home, but we are kind of at the end of the street, so the house next to ours sits on the corner and blocks all of our light. My house feels dark to me. What are your secrets?

 

[tinkat]

I do not encounter many people due to social distancing however I have been more intentional receiving compliments. I have been working on receiving in general. I recall in the past downplaying a compliment or questioning if one is being genuine. What really has been transformative is intentionally writing down what I appreciate about myself and prizing myself for getting things completed, no matter how "small" the accomplishment may appear to be. It builds up my own self confidence and love. I definitely have no problem asking for help with my husband. I recall when my husband and I were first dating how I was so used to doing things on my own, he would have to tell me that it is okay to receive help. I have not been out and about to really have opportunities to receive help. However, when the universe brings people around for the very thing I may be working on for my business plans or for self-care, I do receive it gracefully. I don't turn down the support, especially when it feels like the universe sent it to me directly through a person.


Week 14 Challenge
1. Practice taking compliments. Every time some one says, “That’s a nice dress” or “You plook nice today”, don’t down play it. Say thank you and smile. Take it all in. You DESERVE every single compliment someone gives to you.

2. Take the help. If someone offers to help you....don't say I got it. If someone says do you need help taking these bags in or doing xyz...accept it. Say thank you and smile and let the universe help you.

 

[caribeandiva]

I need tips!! I love our home, but we are kind of at the end of the street, so the house next to ours sits on the corner and blocks all of our light. My house feels dark to me. What are your secrets?

Gurllll... i have a whole thread about decorating my house!
https://longhaircareforum.com/threa...love-your-home-transformation-journey.847061/

My tips on creating a light and breezy home:
1. Choose a white or cream color palette. Use white furniture, cream or light colored rugs, white bedding, etc... Using white makes your space looks very well lit, and inviting.
2.Use sheers and white curtains so that way you can open your blinds during the day to bring more light in without worrying about your privacy.
3. If you have them, Update your dark countertops with marble contact paper. White counters bring more light in. Same goes for your cabinets.
4. Mirrors, mirrors, mirrors! They make such a big difference! Mirrors multiply the amount of light available to you. Making your whole house light up.

 

[MamaBear2012]

Gurllll... i have a whole thread about decorating my house!
https://longhaircareforum.com/threa...love-your-home-transformation-journey.847061/

My tips on creating a light and breezy home:
1. Choose a white or cream color palette. Use white furniture, cream or light colored rugs, white bedding, etc... Using white makes your space looks very well lit, and inviting.
2.Use sheers and white curtains so that way you can open your blinds during the day to bring more light in without worrying about your privacy.
3. If you have them, Update your dark countertops with marble contact paper. White counters bring more light in. Same goes for your cabinets.
4. Mirrors, mirrors, mirrors! They make such a big difference! Mirrors multiply the amount of light available to you. Making your whole house light up.

Thank you! I'm going to check out your thread. I have steered away from white and cream since my kids are little, but they are just going to have to learn! We'll have all of our debt paid off by the end of the summer, so fall will be my time to slowly start transforming this house.

 

[Maracujá]

 

[caribeandiva]

Thank you! I'm going to check out your thread. I have steered away from white and cream since my kids are little, but they are just going to have to learn! We'll have all of our debt paid off by the end of the summer, so fall will be my time to slowly start transforming this house.

Congratulations on getting debt free! I’m aiming for June 2020 myself. If your kids are little white is indeed risky. But they’ll just have to learn! My friend is really into glam style like I am and she has a boy who’s 5 and a toddler! She trained them so well that her white furniture is spotless! I was shocked! I say start with the mirrors. They’ll make a huge difference for now until you get to lightning up your color palette. Take before and after pics to really see the difference.

 

[snoop]

@Maracujá
You could write a book about creating warm meals and a cozy home. You could also write it in your five languages that you speak.
1 English
2. French
3.Dutch
4.Portuguese
5. Language of home village in Angola (Bantu)

That's five different income streams from one book. How many people could actually do this? You could. You have a tremendous amount of talent and skills. This is something you could do without having to interact with lots of people.

You already have a blog. You could market your book on that. You could sale your book on Amazon.

Book reference: The Well Fed Self Publisher.

I totally agree. They would make for a beautiful coffee table-style cookbook. Your photos are captivating.

 

[MamaBear2012]

Congratulations on getting debt free! I’m aiming for June 2020 myself. If your kids are little white is indeed risky. But they’ll just have to learn! My friend is really into glam style like I am and she has a ou who’s 5 and a toddler! She trained them so well that her white furniture is spotless! I was shocked! I say start with the mirrors. They’ll make a huge difference for now until you get to lightning up your color palette. Take before and after pics to really see the difference.

Oooh, thanks! I'll have to look at some style magazines and Pinterest boards to check out where to put mirrors. Every time I do one of those "What's my style?" quizzes, my preference seems to be transitional. I love a clean, crisp look. But I want it to be cozy. I grew up in a house of clutter. Pure clutter. So, I'm just learning all of this and feel so out of my element.

Thanks for the tips!

 

[caribeandiva]

Every time I do one of those "What's my style?" quizzes, my preference seems to be transitional. I love a clean, crisp look. But I want it to be cozy. I grew up in a house of clutter. Pure clutter.

One of those quizzes told me that my style is transitional too. I can see it. I too grew up in a house full of clutter. That’s why it’s important to me to have a light and airy abode. Just thinking of the clutter makes me shudder.

 

[snoop]

Last week I had enough and decided to do a bit of online home shopping. At Christmas, I started re-doing the kids room and the spare room, but then stopped. I've bought stuff for DH and my room, some cushions for the living room and some work stations for the playroom (aka the dining room). We've been in this house for over 10 years and we've got furniture but never made steps to decorate so I think that over the next few weeks I'll be working on making our house feel more like our home.


Week 22 Challenge
1. What is it that you could do to help your house feel comfortable?
Reducing clutter will be the biggest step into making our house comfortable. Most of our clutter is loose paper. I create a lot and the kids create a lot. Keeping up with shredding and recycling will be key, instead of holding on to something "just in case".

2. What small baby steps could you work on to help your family come home and feel refreshed? Add a candle? Purchase a bouquet of flowers for the dining room table?
Now that we are starting to have warm weather, opening the windows is what I aim at doing (provided it's not humid out). Canadian winters are far too long and then we may have two weeks of spring before going into summer, so having that breeze flow through the house feels so calming and energizing to me.

3. How could you nurture a musical home? Turn on some jazz music for when the kids come home from school? Smile and play soothing music while giving nonsexual touch when your significant other comes home? Give yourself some me time and unwind to music?


4. What is it that could transform your home through you setting the tone?
Taking some time to relax and chill with the children early in the mornings and in the afternoons between my tasks and chores. This will happen through better time management (i.e. going to bed a bit earlier so that I can get out of bed a bit earlier, but not so early that I loose the opportunity to get out of bed in a leisurely way.)

 

[snoop]

Gurllll... i have a whole thread about decorating my house!
https://longhaircareforum.com/threa...love-your-home-transformation-journey.847061/

My tips on creating a light and breezy home:
1. Choose a white or cream color palette. Use white furniture, cream or light colored rugs, white bedding, etc... Using white makes your space looks very well lit, and inviting.
2.Use sheers and white curtains so that way you can open your blinds during the day to bring more light in without worrying about your privacy.
3. If you have them, Update your dark countertops with marble contact paper. White counters bring more light in. Same goes for your cabinets.
4. Mirrors, mirrors, mirrors! They make such a big difference! Mirrors multiply the amount of light available to you. Making your whole house light up.

I am going to head over to that thread and pick up a few more tips and ideas from you. I want to be able to transform my space over the next month.

 

[caribeandiva]

I am going to head over to that thread and pick up a few more tips and ideas from you. I want to be able to transform my space over the next month.

Awesome!

 

[Chicoro]

Week 22 Challenge

1. What is it that you could do to help your house feel comfortable?
At first I was thinking negatively about this one. I live in a furnished, tiny, studio apartment. But then, I thought about it. I HAVE made my place feel more comfortable. I have a pretty, orange mat in the shower and a matching rug on the floor, in the bathroom. It smells so pretty when I go in there. I have essential oils in a candle holder sitting on the floor in the corner. I light it to meditate and the heat from the candle warms the oils and releases them in the air.

I bought little wire containers that you can hook onto existing cupboards and shelves to expand the space. I bought a printer and have little containers that have personalized my space.

I have a simple, beautiful, silver floor length mirror that stands in front of a wall. I have a little roll cart with my oils and spices and some storage boxes to hold other things. I have perfectly arranged plastic containers under my kitchen sink. These things keep my place neat and organized. My place is comfortable. When I came to France, I had only my purse and my suitcase.


2. What small baby steps could you work on to help your family come home and feel refreshed? Add a candle? Purchase a bouquet of flowers for the dining room table?
I can be more thankful that I have a place to stay that is clean and safe and comfortable. I have learned to appreciate what have. Interestingly, it is the least amount I have ever had in my entire life. I like to use essential oils of peppermint and lemon to mix with a natural soap to clean my floors. I love coming home to a home that is neat, organized and smells like beautiful, essential oils that waft up to my nose as soon as I step inside!

3. How could you nurture a musical home?
If I want music, I just put on a CD and hook it up to my speakers. I like to have music on when I am cleaning or doing some exercise. In general, I prefer it to be quiet in my home.

4. What is it that could transform your home through you setting the tone?
What has transformed my home is that I value where I am and what I have. None of the furniture is mine but I try to make sure that I take good care of things here.

_____________________
The most valuable aspect of the Week 22 Challenge is that I have learned what is important to me. A bath tub is very important. My own bed with my own choice of mattress is very important. Having a stove and a normal sized refrigerator are important. And, having two windows in my home for cross circulation are also important. Every thing I have mentioned, I have always had all my life until I moved to France. Now, I have none of these things.

Yet, I have learned to appreciate what I have. My apartment is centrally located to public transportation including trains, subways, buses and trams. I have a great mall and grocery stores including African, Asian and Bio stores nearby. My apartment building is super clean and well maintained. If something is broken, the guardian fixes it or replaces it.

I no longer hope to 'move' away from my apartment. Instead, I realize my apartment has given me solace and peace to identify and determine to where I would like to move toward in the future, with crystal clear vision.

 

[caribeandiva]

Week 22 Challenge

1. What is it that you could do to help your house feel comfortable?
At first I was thinking negatively about this one. I live in a furnished, tiny, studio apartment. But then, I thought about it. I HAVE made my place feel more comfortable. I have a pretty, orange mat in the shower and a matching rug on the floor, in the bathroom. It smells so pretty when I go in there. I have essential oils in a candle holder sitting on the floor in the corner. I light it to meditate and the heat from the candle warms the oils and releases them in the air.

I bought little wire containers that you can hook onto existing cupboards and shelves to expand the space. I bought a printer and have little containers that have personalized my space.

I have a simple, beautiful, silver floor length mirror that stands in front of a wall. I have a little roll cart with my oils and spices and some storage boxes to hold other things. I have perfectly arranged plastic containers under my kitchen sink. These things keep my place neat and organized. My place is comfortable. When I came to France, I had only my purse and my suitcase.


2. What small baby steps could you work on to help your family come home and feel refreshed? Add a candle? Purchase a bouquet of flowers for the dining room table?
I can be more thankful that I have a place to stay that is clean and safe and comfortable. I have learned to appreciate what have. Interestingly, it is the least amount I have ever had in my entire life. I like to use essential oils of peppermint and lemon to mix with a natural soap to clean my floors. I love coming home to a home that is neat, organized and smells like beautiful, essential oils that waft up to my nose as soon as I step inside!

3. How could you nurture a musical home?
If I want music, I just put on a CD and hook it up to my speakers. I like to have music on when I am cleaning or doing some exercise. In general, I prefer it to be quiet in my home.

4. What is it that could transform your home through you setting the tone?
What has transformed my home is that I value where I am and what I have. None of the furniture is mine but I try to make sure that I take good care of things here.

_____________________
The most valuable aspect of the Week 22 Challenge is that I have learned what is important to me. A bath tub is very important. My own bed with my own choice of mattress is very important. Having a stove and a normal sized refrigerator are important. And, having two windows in my home for cross circulation are also important. Every thing I have mentioned, I have always had all my life until I moved to France. Now, I have none of these things.

Yet, I have learned to appreciate what I have. My apartment is centrally located to public transportation including trains, subways, buses and trams. I have a great mall and grocery stores including African, Asian and Bio stores nearby. My apartment building is super clean and well maintained. If something is broken, the guardian fixes it or replaces it.

I no longer hope to 'move' away from my apartment. Instead, I realize my apartment has given me solace and peace to identify and determine to where I would like to move toward in the future, with crystal clear vision.

I love this post! The first step of creating a home you love is to be grateful for the home you currently have, not the one you wished you had.

 

[Maracujá]

Hiya ladies

Went to bed at 8pm yesterday and woke up at 3am this morning. Was able to pray, meditate and think. In a minute I'm going to wash the dishes, take a shower and tend to self for the most part. Today is a new day for me, as we are slowly tapering off my medication. My psychiatrist advised me not to do it, given the current international climate, but I've been on meds for 12 years. It's not the meds that will save me, we have an inherent problem in our communities. That's leaving most depleted:



Saved these on my phone in December 2019 and here we are. That part about whatever God asked you to do...don't glance over it. Very important. It may look minute to you, but not to God. As I have been mentioning here, I am sick and tired of having to live in an Eurocentric mind frame. Even the language in which I have to communicate this to y'all, is not truly my own. The other day I had a lady on the phone, from Poland. She suffers from mental illness due to a divorce she's going through.

Guess what? She was calling us to see whether she could get reimbursement, if she went to a psychiatrist in Poland. She said - and I quote: "I'd be better able to express my true sentiments in my mother tongue." All other cultures have what is their own and are content. I will not continue to compete with Caucasians for things that are simply not part of our value system.

What I have noticed is that many Whites have simply stopped logging in. So as to protect their sanity and wellbeing. We are already dealing with enough mental health issues as is, let's not add up to it. Take care y'all:

 

[snoop]

Participants -
@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@almond eyes
@tinkat
@Chicoro
@cravoecanela

​

Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive

Learn to become emotionally unreactive. Stop arguments and conflict in its tracks. Learn to not REACT. Instead RESPOND.
Reacting involves doing any of the masculine C traits. (Criticizing, confronting, coddling, chasing, convincing, and etc.)
Before you start doing these....
Lean back.
Let them come to you. This is hard. This might take days, hours, or months.
BUT remember you hold all the power when he comes to YOU.
Keep the end game in mind. What is is that YOU want? What is your goal?
Think about all the scenarios based off the man you have. (Keep in mind this is analytical and therefore masculine. Don’t do this too much or long.)
If he surprises you and does something different and you don’t know what to say have a pull-put plan.
Say:I’m not really sure how I feel right now. I just need a moment. (Come back and post your situation in the group or ask a good friend.)
Show him with actions or lack of how to treat you. Words won’t work.

You cannot control other people. The other is the problem. So why would you be up in the air because of THEIR problem. You care about the other person, but you only have a certain amount of energy. This is why you focus this energy on yourself. You NEVER deplete yourself. Reserve energy for you. Protect your peace. When they come to you to talk you speak with femininity honesty and truth to move forward in the relationships. Grown people do what they want to do. Never leave a relationship knowing you put in more than he. Lean back. Focus on You.

Example: Let’s say your boyfriend told you he would take you out. He comes over but y’all get to chilling. He has no plans of taking you out.
Reacting: You always do this ish. You think I don’t realize what you’re doing but it really pisses me off when. (Criticizing and confronting him)
Responding: Get dressed up, put on makeup, leave the house and go out alone. (Your actions will ALWAYS work better than your words. )



Week 23 Challenge
1. In the past what have you blown up About?
2. What small baby steps could you work on to not be emotionally reactive?
3. What will you do this week to keep your cool?

 

[Maracujá]

Taking a break from all social media. #staymentallyhealthyyall