PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I recently redid my bedroom and my guest bedroom. In the process I had to take everything out of the rooms. Surpringly it felt sooo good to make SPACE in the rooms that I recided I didn't want to put all the things back in there that took up all of that room. My bedroom feels so clutter free and I absolutely love the mood it puts me in. Upwards and onwards.
As it relates to my ex-husband I told him something that he said that was unsettling to me. I started to just shrug it off and not say anything, but it felt better to honor my truth and say it in a feminine way. Surpringly he took it in. He was sort of quiet with me for that day. However, the next week he made sure to pay for my car to get fixed and asked me did I need anything. This reminds me that men need to feel a range of emotions. It's not they must only feel happiness around us.
What are some of the range of emotions men need to feel?
Happy- Happy to see you. Happy that you said yes to a date. Happy to be in your presence because it always a fun, flirty, pleasant encounter and energy exchanged.
Turned on- When he sees you physically and is sexually turned on by you.
Anxious- Through you giving positive tension and not a see every single call or text immediately. When they see another man checking you out.
Mad- When you say no to his sexual advances. When you call him out on his bill ****. When you refuse to take his misbehavior and confront him in a feminine way.
Sad- When he’s scared of losing you. When you walk away or get off the phone.
Respected — When you let him take the lead and show him that you trust his decision making skills by being a cheerleader not a life coach.
Impatient- When he doesn’t know WHEN he will see you again and he misses you a lot
Shamed- When he tries to get you to pay on a date ask him....Can you not afford it?
Understood — when they tell you something that might be controversial or might spark judgement but you remain calm and listen to him instead of making facial expressions or jumping straight to “I can’t believe you’d do that” or “oh my gosh!” One of the biggest ways to avoid coming across as judgemental is through your initial reaction. If you’re calm and understanding, it allows the person to feel at ease that they haven’t pushed you away and are more likely to listen to your concerns after. While if you fly off the handle immediately, it ruins that trust.
Nurtured— They want to feel taken care of, but not in the mothering sense. I mean have their emotions taken care of; they want someone who can handle them being upset, hurt, vulnerable without trying to tell them how to feel or invalidating it. As women we have many outlets that we can go to to share your emotions like friends, family etc but they don’t. It’s important for them to feel you empathise with them. When they did ole something painful instead of trying to silver line it like “well at least xyz,” or providing solutions, try “Aww I that sounds so hard. I can’t imagine what you must be going through, but I’m really glad you told me and I will stand by you through this.”
Also disciplined: A woman who can put them in their place and make them become more discipline. A lot of men in happy marriages with say they’re wife made them “better” or more disciplined. Contrary to the masculina’s handbook this is not because she COMMANDS discipline or rules the house like an army general. It’s because she entices him to become disciplined. She draws it out of him during the chase, in a “you can come and get me, but if you want to catch me you’ll have to improve your game,” sort of way. She doesn’t impose restrictions ON HIM but allows him to see what works and what doesn’t, and in the process he realises he needs to be more disciplined if he wants to catch the butterfly.
If she doesn’t accept calls after a certain time, he’ll adhere to that. If she requires proper dates, he’ll need to come correct. If she likes a clean environment he’ll ensure that his place is always clean whenever she comes over. Ultimately the feeling of being disciplined through their own actions builds their sense of masculinity and also respect towards her.
Care to add more examples?
As it relates to my ex-husband I told him something that he said that was unsettling to me. I started to just shrug it off and not say anything, but it felt better to honor my truth and say it in a feminine way. Surpringly he took it in. He was sort of quiet with me for that day. However, the next week he made sure to pay for my car to get fixed and asked me did I need anything. This reminds me that men need to feel a range of emotions. It's not they must only feel happiness around us.
What are some of the range of emotions men need to feel?
If she doesn’t accept calls after a certain time, he’ll adhere to that. If she requires proper dates, he’ll need to come correct. If she likes a clean environment he’ll ensure that his place is always clean whenever she comes over. Ultimately the feeling of being disciplined through their own actions builds their sense of masculinity and also respect towards her.
Care to add more examples?
Acknowkedge the request in a feminine way
Make a personal request that benefits YOU. Keep the focus on YOU.
Relate it them and tell them how they will benefit. Think what’s in it for THEM.
You gotta follow through. (Keep cheap pieces of lingerie you could wear or shoes you don’t often wear blah blah be creative.
Oh honey may I have $100 to get healthier food from the grocery store? I know you said you wanted me to eat better.
Trophy Wife- They crave having respect from others by having a pretty girl on their arm. They want a woman that stands out in all aspects and provides them attention and respect from others. It’s like an accessory like a nice car or nice job. It causes people in his life to be in awe and give him attention he was previously deprived of. However being a trophy wife comes with no tag of lifelong guarantee.
Trust/Confidant- Drug dealers are often like this. They want someone to confide in. They need someone they can trust in a sea of fake people. They need someone to tell their intimate details to and build a safehaven for their thoughts and ideas.
To be a family man/To have help- This often the man with too many children. He wants a girl to be a mule to be a cook, cleaner, and baby sitter. (Stay away from)
Intellectual Convo- He craves an intellectual. He craves mental stimulation and interesting conversation from a beautiful girl.
If you act entitled to others people time space and energy, you’re going to attract men that act entitled to your time, space, beauty, womb, and energy with very little investment from them.
. Have decided to completely disengage from bad news. Have also set a boundary in place, where I only discuss international affairs with my sister, who lives in The Netherlands. We usually have ample time on the phone, to delve deeper into certain issues. Instead of the 140 characters that social media offers us, that only lead to further polarizing. 
I in turn cook for the both of us:
:
. Went out of there and started listening to some music on my way home. Now I'm about to cook me some red beans, the Angolan way. It's always like an episode of 'The Weakest Link'. I have to keep the domestic divas of my family on speed dial 
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