2022 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine

I’ve been working on modifying the feel of our home. I insist on fresh flowers as part of the grocery budget. We also have a budget for those cute little Wallflowers and the fun scents from Bath and Body Works, and I have them on the floors we use most often. In the colder months I had plenty of candles to burn but I haven’t gotten any warm weather ones yet. Plus I have my plants! There’s one in the master bath and I’m looking to move a few into the master bedroom. The other ones in the living room for now. He was against plants at first but they’ve grown on him and he seems very invested in my plant maintenance. As for music though. I hate background noise. I play music intentionally, otherwise I prefer silence. That’s something I’ll let him manage because he loves to have music on throughout the house while having the tv on and he’s a jazz lover as well

That sounds so lovely! It sounds like your home is becoming cozier. I'd love that!!! It sounds like between the smells, the sounds, and the asthetics/sights, you have created a daily experience in your living space! :love3:
 
Week 9 Challenge

1. Name 3 books you intend to read that are not self-help books. Specifically, make time to read for leisure.
2. What are you doing in your leisure time? Make a plan to pencil in leisure time each day. Bath time? Read a book for 20 minutes a day? Walk a mile or two? Sit on the beach? Play in the garden? Brunch with some friends? Play on a playground? Work on developing your leisure plan. What can you do for leisure each day?
3. Choose a book or series of articles to read on self-development. Read it for 5 minutes each night before you go to bed, or before getting out of bed. What did you learn?

So I haven't been reading like I should, but I have been trying to watch 1 informative video each morning or at least each day. The subject doesn't matter. Sometimes I will go down a particular rabbit hole and other times I switch gears and watch a hair video about a topic that I'm interested in. I really like this. I find that doing this in the morning as part of my morning routine is more effective.

Leisure time before bed is a wholesome (solo) Netflix and Chill session. I try to limit myself to one episode of something, put on my massage pillow that I bought recently, and then just unwind. My goal is to get to bed and ideally to sleep by 10.30pm.
 
Week 16 Challenge
1. Post a list of 30 things you have never done, read, ate, gone. Accomplish ONE NEW PLACE/ACTIVITY this week. Make it something classy. Beach picture, jazz club, spa date, SOMETHING.

2. Clean up your social media profile. Post in this thread how you've made some changes. Delete all pictures of exes. Delete all unflattering pics where you or your children aren't their best.

3. Download a great photo editing app. Post some suggestions if you find some great ones.

4. Create a new profile picture. I don't care if it's staged or not....look good and girly. Throw on some heels, a dress, and some slight makeup. Stand in the back yard or a park. Get outside and let the sun kiss your beautiful skin. Create a new you.


Earlier this week, I started cleaning up my fb friends list. Some of the people I couldn't remember who they were and where I'd met them. Even though I don't talk to them (I don't use fb) I kept people from high school and elementary school, just to be able to keep track of how people are doing in general, but former co-workers I got rid of. I should have deleted them a long time ago.

I don't really use social media to document my life so there was nothing to clean up in that respect and I try not to use my own pictures as my avatars unless you can't see my face. :lol: I do have a social media presence to document my hair journey and I will have to update that avatar. It's not bad, it just could be better.

Finally, the photo editing apps that I like to use are InShot for sizing and creating text on my photos. Picture size and image alignment can make a difference to the overall look and feel of a photo. Then from there I edit my photos using Snapseed (Google). I love it because it's pretty easy to use. I apply some tips that I got from a Patricia Bright video years ago and I whiten my eyes and teeth in the photos to create a more youthful appearance. (My tip is not to go extreme white on either because it looks edited and also if you're doing your teeth do not sweep all the way across. Whiten each individual tooth. This will maintain the natural shadow that occurs between each tooth and make the editing look natural.)
 
That sounds so lovely! It sounds like your home is becoming cozier. I'd love that!!! It sounds like between the smells, the sounds, and the asthetics/sights, you have created a daily experience in your living space! :love3:

Our home is DEFINITELY coming together. We got it last year in April and I’ve been decorating it a little for the holidays/seasons. We had sooooo many pumpkins last fall! I also convinced him to get a Casaluna comforter and duvet from Target and we are IN LOVE. Plus the room spray? You can’t tell us nothing! Our sleep experience is awesome. Extra floofy bath mats in the master plus the matching towels and wash cloths. I’ve definitely tried to make our space feel like home
 
I have been listening to a podcast about ancient Egypt during my commute. Fascinating stuff. If it’s not that I try to listen to one about good manners and etiquette. If I listen to music I promise I’ll be speeding andd im trying not to do that anymore lol
 
@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour


Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive

Learn to become emotionally unreactive. Stop arguments and conflict in its tracks. Learn to not REACT. Instead RESPOND.
Reacting involves doing any of the masculine C traits. (Criticizing, confronting, coddling, chasing, convincing, and etc.)
Before you start doing these....
Lean back.
Let them come to you. This is hard. This might take days, hours, or months.
BUT remember you hold all the power when he comes to YOU.
Keep the end game in mind. What is is that YOU want? What is your goal?
Think about all the scenarios based off the man you have. (Keep in mind this is analytical and therefore masculine. Don’t do this too much or long.)
If he surprises you and does something different and you don’t know what to say have a pull-put plan.
Say:I’m not really sure how I feel right now. I just need a moment. (Come back and post your situation in the group or ask a good friend.)
Show him with actions or lack of how to treat you. Words won’t work.

You cannot control other people. The other is the problem. So why would you be up in the air because of THEIR problem. You care about the other person, but you only have a certain amount of energy. This is why you focus this energy on yourself. You NEVER deplete yourself. Reserve energy for you. Protect your peace. When they come to you to talk you speak with femininity honesty and truth to move forward in the relationships. Grown people do what they want to do. Never leave a relationship knowing you put in more than he. Lean back. Focus on You.

Example: Let’s say your boyfriend told you he would take you out. He comes over but y’all get to chilling. He has no plans of taking you out.
Reacting: You always do this ish. You think I don’t realize what you’re doing but it really pisses me off when. (Criticizing and confronting him)
Responding: Get dressed up, put on makeup, leave the house and go out alone. (Your actions will ALWAYS work better than your words. )



Week 23 Challenge
1. In the past what have you blown up About?
2. What small baby steps could you work on to not be emotionally reactive?
3. What will you do this week to keep your cool?
 
I struggle not with reacting verbally but my body language or mood will shift. But I’ve def done something similar to the example posted. My bf (we’re engaged now!) and I were training for a race. Every other day we were supposed to go running. He would always find an excuse to not be ready when we agreed, or try to push the time back by a lot (like an hour). I got tired of being irritated with him for not keeping his word and being lazy so one night when it was time to go running I got dressed as usual. He was still playing video games and not even close to being ready. He asked for more time. I told him I’m going now, and that’s what I did. By the time I hit the halfway point and turned around to come back, he was running up the sidewalk towards me. He ran back home with me and I thanked him for showing up. I didn’t have to get on him again, he was always ready when we agreed
 
@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour


Week 24: Boundaries

An example of different types of boundaries, how to enforce them, and scripts to say can be found here: https://docdro.id/41k2cRl


Why is it important to set boundaries?


  • To protect yourself and practice self-care and self-respect

  • To communicate your needs in a relationship

  • To make time and space for positive interactions

  • To set limits in a relationship in a way that is healthy

  • To become and STAY a challenge

  • To create emotional security to protect your heart and not over-give in relationships

How to enforce these boundaries


  1. When you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, calmly, firmly, respectfully, and in as few words as possible. (The more words you say, the more you can put your foot in your mouth. Say it and then be quiet.)

  2. Do not justify, get angry, or apologize for the boundary you are setting.

  3. You are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to the boundary you are setting.

  4. You are only responsible for communicating your boundary in a respectful manner.

  5. If it upset them, know it is their problem.

  6. Some people, especially those accustomed to controlling, abusing, or manipulating you, might test you.

  7. The man will give you resistance when you start setting boundaries. Plan on it, expect it but remain firm. Give him space. Remember Space + Femininity creates Tension which draws him even closer. Give him time to go into his man cave and come back to you with a solution to your boundaries.

  8. Remember, your behavior must match the boundaries you are setting.

  9. You cannot successfully establish a clear boundary if you send mixed messages by apologizing. At first, you will probably feel selfish, guilty, or embarrassed when you set a boundary.

  10. Do it anyway and remind yourself you have a right to self-care.

  11. Setting boundaries is a process that takes practice and determination.

  12. Don’t let anxiety, fear or guilt prevent you from taking care of yourself.

  13. When you feel anger or resentment or find yourself whining or complaining, you probably need to set a boundary.

  14. Listen to yourself, determine what you need to do or say, then communicate assertively.

  15. Remember learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. It is a process. You will make mistakes.

  16. It’s Block History Month- Develop a support system of people who respect your right to set boundaries. Eliminate or BLOCK toxic persons from your life— those who want to manipulate, abuse, and control you.

Week 24 Challenge
1. What are some of your boundaries in each area: Dating, Professional, Family, Time, Emotional, Sexual, Physical
2. How can you enforce each boundary?
3. What is your biggest challenge in presenting your boundaries in a feminine way?
 
@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour




Week 25: Limiting Beliefs
Limiting Beliefs: It’s not true sis! Flip It.

A limiting belief is a belief you have (a thought you've repeated over and over and accept as fact) that you think makes it impossible for you to get what you want. They are usually deeply ingrained from childhood or from past experiences.

In order to heal a limiting belief you have to replace it with a different thought. In order to heal a trigger, you have to experience it, recognize you're being triggered, accept/love this irrational feeling that's coming up, investigate if it's true, and if it's not, choose to do something different (even if it's scary).

Limiting Beliefs: affirmation, meditation, reframe your limiting beliefs. Flip Tool is when you FLIP these beliefs and transform them to something powerful and positive like an affirmation. Examples:

Im not high value because I live at home with my parents → Living at home with my parents gives me the perfect opportunity to stack my money and save for the life and place I really want!

All men are bad. → Most black men are good.

Love doesn’t last forever. → Anything worthwhile in life requires a degree of risk.

Men don’t like my personality. → There is an abundance of men like that who really want to LOVE me, just for being you.

I’m not worthy of love → I am worthy of my heart’s desires.

I’m not good enough → I am worthy. I always have been. I always will be. I am perfect just as I am.

I fear that I won’t ever find a romantic partner → There is someone out there that likes me for me and would love to date me.

Men want to waste my time → “The right man for me will stay”.

No good man will want me. → There is an abundance of good single men out there willing to give me the commitment I desire.

I can’t get out of debt → There is an abundance of wealth out there just waiting for me to take it on.

My disability is a curse → My disability is an opportunity for me to do something that no one has ever done before.

You can’t even get a man interested in you. You loser woman. → Delight yourself in the Lord and you shall be given the desires of your heart.

You should give up on dating. Love isn’t for you. Can’t you see? → I am worthy of EVERYTHING good in life.

Who do you think you are to be treated like queen of England by men? → I am a child of the Universe, a divine spark, deserving of the highest treatment and goodies that life has to offer.

IDENTIFY WHAT YOU WANT AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN PUTTING OFF.

Link massive pain to NOT doing what you want. What will happen if you don’t do what you want? What’s my life going to be like? What will it cost me?

Link pleasure to doing it.

I discovered that the root of past self-esteem issues was my fear of rejection and abandonment. This is further rooted in the belief that you aren't "good enough." I actually asked myself why I acted the way that I did with men, and I listened and a small voice said, "Because you don't think you're good enough." I was floored! Flip it! Now everyday you wake up ACT like you are good enough. If you WERE what would you do today?


Week 25 Challenge

1. What are your limiting beliefs
2. How can we flip those?
 
@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour




Week 26: Trust and Surrender

Do less to get more. It becomes easy to think that if You controlled everything around you in your life, and created as much structure as possible, everything would go accordingly to plans and there wouldn’t be any surprises. You would be all knowing and and this would make you happy.

However it’s important to understand no amount of planning will change the uncertainty of the universe. Thevuniverse has a plan for you. All things are working for your good. As a femininevwoman it is your job to flow and bend like a tree swaying in the wind. Your job isn’t to define or understand it. Instead, trust it.

The Universe’s plans for you life are always greater than your own plans. All things are working for your good. Everything is intentional. Never failing. Trusting and Surrendering means to FEEL a sense of calm, peace, and surrender in your body that no matter what's going on around you or in your relationship right now - YOU WILL BE OKAY! If you get the job or if you don't, if he leaves or if he goes...at the end of the day...you will be okay! Trust the Universe's timeline, even if it's not coming towards you at the moment. There is a reason for this, but it’s not your job to figure this out. Just trust and stay in the moment.

It is important to trust that everything that is happening right now is for your highest good even though you may not be able to see it yet.

You have to know with a solid belief that everything is ALWAYS working out for you. You’re not rocking the boat to control the situation. You're not flirting to make something happen. You’re flirting because it’s fun and it’s the way you are. It’s the way you live and interact. As a feminine woman, the right man/your boyfriend/your husband will be magnetized to you effortlessly.

If you are used to being in your masculine energy, you are used to "thinking" your way through life and love. This causes you to dissect and over analyze every decision you make. It causes you to be pressed and analyze every text message from a man you like. Focus on how you feel. Make boundaries accordingly. Don’t try to control your man, the situation, or the future. It is in feminine surrender that the magic of love and life happens. So in times that you are over-analyzing, Let Go. Let it be. Slow down and be present. Meditate. Listen to your inner voice. Trust and Surrender.

Week 26 Challenge

1. Where could you be more trusting of the Universe?
2. How could you focus more on being present instead of analyzing each and everything in your life?
3. Take our Challenge Survey to improve next year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/QL9ZPNS

Week 26 Trust and Surrender Affirmations

  1. I am not alone in this universe.
  2. I am not alone in this world.
  3. I am a part of nature.
  4. I understand that just as life takes good care of ALL nature. it will also take care of me and all of my needs and desires when I let you.
 
@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour


Week 27: Play Cat and Mouse

✨Be emotionally or physically connected to him and then run away.
✨ Promise him intimacy by giving false hope. Delay the sexual gratification. Play into his desire to hunt by keeping him chasing.
✨Be a conversationalist.
✨ Have a wonderful date with him but then don’t contact him first after meeting.
✨ Letting some of his calls for to voicemail and calling him back later.
✨ Give him plenty of compliments and appreciation so he knows you’re interested.
✨Be very available and then back away a little.
✨Don’t always answer questions directly. At a little bit with the answer and let HIM chase YOU.
✨Act distracted and let HIM get your attention back.
✨ Keep him on his toes at all times.
✨ Say little things like...”You know what I really like about you?” When he says what....change the subject real quick. “Yeah...oh never mind. I’m talking to much. So How was your day honey?”

Some scripts to play cat and mouse

✨Can I have your picture ➡️ Oh if you play your cards right you can have as many pictures as you want
✨I want you ➡️ You up for that challenge
✨What did you do today. ➡️ Why should I tell you? (Then after he responds you go back to the regular convo and tell him what you did)
✨ He says something sweet ➡️ Oh *insert name* are you flirting with me?
✨ I want you to be my girl ➡️ Oh really? You ready for that responsibility?
✨ You’re a handful ➡️ I’m glad you have two hands honey. One for my naughty and one for my nice. ☺️

Week 27 Challenge

1. How could you up the challenge? How could you be more playful?
2. What’s your favorite cat/mouse script
 
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