2022 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine

[kupenda]

I really struggle with the feminine mystique part. SO and I live together and although I always excuse myself to another floor to use the restroom, I don’t often wear my slinky robe or sexy nightclothes (see previous post). Lately I’ve been having him rub me with lotion or oil after I bathe. My favorite is L’Occitane Amande line. I’ll use the shower oil, then grab the lotion and skin oil so he can rub me down. This is also a great segue into shenanigans. He’s not too great at foreplay
I definitely talk too much. I gotta stop telling him everything I’m thinking. It’s legit not his business
I got us walking last week. I want to keep up with that. We both need to drop a few pounds

 

[Plushottie]

I’m enjoying pulling all my feminine stuff out and pushing myself to go outside to run errands. W the pandemic and mask I just haven’t felt like being outside if I do I’m in my crop top and sweats sporty spice. The past Friday I went out for lunch, looked nice but no conversation. I felt invisible but it was still nice to look together as that’s

 

[snoop]

@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour




Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media

Some Tips to Clean Up Your Profile
1. Less is more. Strive not to post a lot. The more you post, the more people have information to judge you.Don’tpost so often. It seems like you have no life.

2. Make a list of 30 new things you have NEVER done, read, eaten, or etc. Strive to do one new activity a week. I don't care if it's small like going to the library or trying out some new Fro-Yo. The thing is that you want to present yourself as having fun, lively, charismatic, smiling, joyful, and CLASSY.

3. Hide groups or friends that are off putting. If it’s a meme…. don’t repost it on YOUR page. Make a comment on the meme, tag your friends if needed, and keep going. HIDE YOUR RATCHET FRIENDS FROM THE WORLD.

4. Delete bad photos with your hair not done or you with no makeup. If it doesn't look magazine worthy, it should not be posted.

5. Really it’s no reason to post boyfriends until they are your fiancé or husband point blank. Friends and associates should meet your significant other through physical interactions…not through FaceBook/Instagram.

6. Delete pictures of exes. They don’t belong in your life anymore…friend or not.

7. Delete many pictures of you with men. (This is especially if you're not married). Stick to pictures with other females. DO NOT post pictures of men...it looks like you keep a lot of male company. It can be taken in two ways: a. you're already taken b. you's a (finish the song lol).

8. Edit or delete any statuses in which you are cursing. (You can search your timeline for curse words by doing Name posts insertcurseword. All posts with the curse words will pop up.

9. Stay away from politics: arguing about trump, black lives matter, black panther, racial suggestions. Remember to protect your peace. These issues keep you up in the air and hot and bothered for the whole day. Steer away from these conversations. These are not your battles to fight...and if you feel so...fight them privately.

10. Have great pictures. Think photography worthy pics.

11. Delete pictures where you are at work or you are driving a car. You worth is not defined by your job. You are waaaay more than your career. Driving a car implies you like to drive and do not like to be driven around. Refrain from pics like this.

12. Delete mentions and pictures of degrees or jobs (especially if single)

13. Have pictures of your male vouchers (fathers, brothers, uncles) to let others know you are well protected and well taken care of. Make statuses on how your brothers/father protect you...even if it is not true. You are building your reputation so you teach others how to treat you.

14. Try to keep pictures of your children off of social media. If you have more than TWO children, don’t let potential husbands know this. This is something they can find out once they get to know you. Employ feminine mystique

15. Don’t post too many (really ANY) pictures of you in a club setting.

16. Delete unclear pictures including your profile pictures.

17. Natural hair and feminine clothing is very nurturing. Focus on wearing clothing that the opposite sex could not wear. No slouchy sweat pants, short masculine hairdo’s, all black clothes, and etc. Strive to be very feminine in your attire. If it doesn’t meet the criteria…delete it. They can only see what you let them see.

18. Refrain from profanity and aggressiveness. Ask others that curse on your timeline to edit their posts or you delete the post. You can posts something like: “I’m deleting your comments, not because of your opinion but your language is too foul and not something I can have women on my page being associated with. Facebook is considered public and you are not representing me, black women, or the elders up to my standards. Love you. Be sweet.” Protect your peace and your reputation. You don’t curse and people shouldn’t overtly curse either on your page. A lil curse word here and there is normal for men and in the general conversation of many…but blatant and rude cursing …. get rid of it.

19. Refrain from clothing that screams sex and not wife. (This goes back to the club pictures). Twerking, overly sexy pictures, and etc. scream gf or person setting up to get used and not wife.

20. Post pictures of you to attract a man: You cleaning, your skin glowing and you looking natural, pictures of you cooking, nice feminine dresses in heels,

21. Dresses: Look for A-line dresses, feminine shoes, wear nice fitting underwear such as Wacoal, wear piece of jewelry such as necklaces, bracelets, pearl earrings, and etc.

22. Post pictures of you serving others or speak indirectly about you spending time serving others.

23. Posting Guidelines:

a. Refrain from Content that is graphic, obscene, explicit, racial, or disparaging in any form.

b. Refrain from Content that is abusive, hateful, inflammatory, or intended to defame any person(s)

c. Try to aim to be positive at all times. Refrain from publically complaining. A woman unable to be pleased stunts her own growth.

d. Control your mouth

e. No Bathroom Selfies

f. Refrain from many pictures with random men that are not family

g. Delete all non-magazine quality pictures

h. Let go of the need of letting people know how sad you always are.

24. Posing Instructions

a. Hair on the shoulders (#1) should be avoided at all costs.

b. Pull the Chin (or Ears) Forward

c. Lift your arm slightly- When people stand naturally, another thing they do is stand with their arms flat at their sides. This causes several problems. First, it makes them look awkward and uncomfortable in the photo. Secondly, their arm presses against their torso. This squishes the arm out and makes it look larger than it actually is.

d. Don’t take Pics Head On If your subject stares at the camera head-on, they look bigger. Turn your shoulders so they are not head on. Just raising one shoulder higher than another will add dimension and strength to the image.

e. Don’t Show the Whites of Your Eyes- You want to see the iris, the colored part.

f. Open Your Mouth Slightly- With the mouth slightly open, the jawline is elongated and gives a subtle intimate invite to the viewer.

g. Have Ballet Hands- Under the chin, over the shoulder, to the side, under the ear or through the hair are some common positions for hands.

h. Position Yourself Girl- Old red carpet trick: Position your body 45 degrees and put the arm closest to the camera on your hip. Then plant one foot slightly in front of the other, point your toe to the camera and place your weight on your back leg.

Stand Up Straight- Standing up straight really does make a difference. Not only will it elongate you in photos, but it gives you an aura of strength and confidence, which is naturally alluring.

Week 16 Challenge
1. Post a list of 30 things you have never done, read, ate, gone. Accomplish ONE NEW PLACE/ACTIVITY this week. Make it something classy. Beach picture, jazz club, spa date, SOMETHING.

2. Clean up your social media profile. Post in this thread how you've made some changes. Delete all pictures of exes. Delete all unflattering pics where you or your children aren't their best.

3. Download a great photo editing app. Post some suggestions if you find some great ones.

4. Create a new profile picture. I don't care if it's staged or not....look good and girly. Throw on some heels, a dress, and some slight makeup. Stand in the back yard or a park. Get outside and let the sun kiss your beautiful skin. Create a new you.

 

[snoop]

I am at a place in my hair journey where I do not feel cute with my hair in it’s natural state. I’m only happy when it’s in braids or straightened. I felt a smidge cute today in my twistout but it was short lived. So I’m thinking about getting kinky straight microlinks. I’ve been saving up for them and I plan to book the appt this week. There’s a three week waiting period (probably so the stylist can order the hair). I hope this turns out well! I’m nervous. I also want to get an Olaplex treatment done before then. While I await my appt, I am getting flexi rods done. That should hold me over a bit I hope. For me, if I don’t feel cute, I can’t do cute things. Makeup? No. Prance around in cute nightclothes? Absolutely not. Mani/pedis? For what? I gotta get cute!

Out of curiosity, why don't you feel cute with your hair in it's natural state? May I ask how long your hair is? I've been trying to find pictures of black girl feminine and black girl luxury asthetics where the women have natural hair. I'll post some over the next couple of days and try to post more as I go along. My hair is natural, too, and I don't do anything cute with it. My hair buns don't look right anymore, but at the very least I can fix them, right?

I don't think that one has to do a whole lot to give an air of cuteness. As in you don't have to have a beat face. Focusing on groomed eyebrows, a bit of mascara, even brown eyeliner without the mascara can transform your look. Tinted lipgloss lipdoesn't have to be full colour) and a nice smile and warm personality go much farther than people think.

I bought some lipgloss and clear brow gel. I'm sick of making excuses for myself and living in my jogging pants and tshirts. I'm a stay at home, but my plan is to treat 8-5 as working hours and dress as though I was going to work. Outside of those hours, if I want to wear my joggers or even pjs so be it, but I don't want to live that life all day anymore. I've been alright at at least changing into jeans, but I'll have to buy a few items of clothing to level up to where I want to be at.

 

[kupenda]

Out of curiosity, why don't you feel cute with your hair in it's natural state? May I ask how long your hair is? I've been trying to find pictures of black girl feminine and black girl luxury asthetics where the women have natural hair. I'll post some over the next couple of days and try to post more as I go along. My hair is natural, too, and I don't do anything cute with it. My hair buns don't look right anymore, but at the very least I can fix them, right?

I don't think that one has to do a whole lot to give an air of cuteness. As in you don't have to have a beat face. Focusing on groomed eyebrows, a bit of mascara, even brown eyeliner without the mascara can transform your look. Tinted lipgloss lipdoesn't have to be full colour) and a nice smile and warm personality go much farther than people think.

I bought some lipgloss and clear brow gel. I'm sick of making excuses for myself and living in my jogging pants and tshirts. I'm a stay at home, but my plan is to treat 8-5 as working hours and dress as though I was going to work. Outside of those hours, if I want to wear my joggers or even pjs so be it, but I don't want to live that life all day anymore. I've been alright at at least changing into jeans, but I'll have to buy a few items of clothing to level up to where I want to be at.

My hair is a type 4 mix, and it’s just below my shoulders. I’m trimming it every three months to get rid of some heat damage that has been ruining my progress. I don’t like the look of twistouts and braidouts etc anymore. I’m noticing a shift in my style overall. It’s becoming much more simple and classic. I’m definitely more interested in fluffy roller sets, big bouncy curls, etc. so I plan to stay natural or get into keratin treatments so I don’t lose the volume I get being natural

 

[kupenda]

I’m planning to update my social media this weekend when I have some down time. I rarely share anything there but it could definitely use a separate clean. Not much in terms of cuss words or inappropriate clothing, but there’s plenty of uncute photos and poor angles

 

[snoop]

@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour


Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears

Negative thought patterns are repetitive, unhelpful thoughts. They directly cause what we could describe as ‘negative’ (unwanted or unpleasant) emotions like anxiety, depression, stress, fear, unworthiness, shame etc. Some people use affirmation to drown them out.The problem with positive affirmations is that they operate at the surface level of conscious thinking and do nothing to contend with the subconscious mind where limiting beliefs really live. Examples of nasty voices are excuses, jealous, fear, comparison, reactionary, unforgiveness,


Identify- When you hear those nasty voices in your head, LISTEN TO THEM. Don’t hate, criticize, or blame. Seek to understand. Recognize the nasty voice for what it is, and instead of indulging in it, actively choose to indulge yourself in a better feeling thought. Trust that you are loved. Example: I am NEVER going to find a husband.They are natural. Then ask yourself some questions.

• Is this thought even true?
  
  
• Is this thought helpful or useful?
  
  
• Am I willing to do what it takes?
  
  
• When have I done this before?
  
  
• What if [insert worse case scenario] happens?
  
  
• How can I…?

Accept- The truth is that it's natural and healthy to experience a range of feelings, including less pleasant ones like disappointment, sadness, loneliness, or guilt. Accept this and open your awareness to the world around you again—LIVE IN THE PRESENT. Notice the birds in the trees, the sounds, the breeze. I get out of your head and into my life.

Love- Be patient with yourself and show yourself love. Focus on how you want to be. Using only a positive affirmation like "There is an abundance of healthy masculine men that love to give me love. My husband is looking for me right now." may backfire if you don’t truly, deeply believe it at both a cognitive and emotional level. Focus on the progress you’re making as well. I have gone out on 2 dates this month to closer to my husband. I look good every day so my husband can easier find me. Love yourself by focus on the progress.

Reframe- State your positive affirmation AND progress.

Release them in love- -Releasing statements, such as, "I forgive myself for doubting my future" or "It's okay for me to be lonely sometimes. " I am complete and beautiful exactly as I am. (Even if I need a little work)

LESS POWER



Week 17 Challenge
1. What are your intimacy fears?
2. How will you work on them?

 

[snoop]

Hi ladies, I'm going to go back in the challenges and add examples or visuals that might help us out. Then I'll try to keep up with the challenges going forward.

 

[snoop]

Week 6: What's in a Voice?

Have you ever met a drop dead gorgeous person only to have all the attraction fade the minute they open their mouth? When it comes to dating, chemistry, and love, that getting-to-know you chat and flirtatious sweet nothings have impact far beyond that words being said. In fact, several studies have shown that the qualities of our voices transmit important details about attraction, health, and fertility to potential partners.

Practice staying in your femininity by ALWAYS having a sweet sing song voice. With your husband, your children, and friends. Soften your sound a little and notice what changes it makes in your life this week.

Week 6 Challenge
1. Post a video with a feminine voice you admire.
2. Practice recording yourself on your phone and play it back to see what areas you need to work on to soften your sound.
3. Use your voice some time this week to get what you want a practice one of the important pillars of femininity: Receiving. What was the result?

This video presented a bit more than just tonality in voice, but how the tone, volume, words, and overall appearance work together to give you a feminine and polished look.





I've recorded myself on video the first time I did this challenge and realized that I have a habit of speaking with just my bottom jaw, so that my bottom teeth show, but my top teeth remain covered. I don't like it. I find that when I speak with my top teeth, it comes across as warmer and more like smiling when I talk. When I have to do video calls, I try to be more aware of this and change the way that I say say my words -- when I annunciate, I tend to speak slower and use more of my mouth.

 

[snoop]

@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour

​

Week 7: Level Up Your Look

Let's take this week to develop our feminine appearance using what you already have. Men are very visual creatures point blank. They love to see someone balance out their masculinity with feminine aspects. To embrace your femininity....embrace what no one can take away...the fact that you are a woman. Take the time to enjoy wearing stereo-typically feminine wardrobe items like form fitting clothing, dresses, pencil skirts, low heels, bows, poofy sleeves, pink, sheer blouses, pearls, lace camisoles, flouncy tea length skirts and the occasional ruffle. Incorporate a good bra such as Wacoal, wear jewelry EACH DAY. Put on at LEAST simple makeup such as natural gold eye shadow, tinted moisturizer, mascara, and lipstick/lipgloss.


This is the Formula Given in most Level Up Groups
(People please chime in on anything I missed)
Teeth- Teeth straightened and whitened twice a year. Wear crest white stripes or Dr. White weekly.
Hair- Sleek and Polished. Invest in a straight long wig, a body wave wig/weave, a fun wig (blond, colored, bob and etc.). Wigs/Sew-Ins allow you to look good every day.
Lips- Bold colors. Invest in a nice red lipstick, a berry color, and a nice nude).
Skin- Needs to be CLEAR and dewy. Go to a dermatologist as needed and drink WATER and apply sunscreen to keep it clear. Invest in a self-tanner bronzer lotion that moisturizes and helps you glow.
Clothes- Wear few jeans. Wear mostly dresses. Dresses are one and done. They help you look flirty and feminine without trying hard. Try dresses with one solid color. Invest in a red dress and a classic black dress. Incorporate some fun dresses such as a leather one for flair. Heels only when on dates...no flats.
Makeup- Full face including lashes. Blend Blend Blend your eyeshadows. Blush, highlighter, eyeshadow, lipSTICK (it's bolder than lipgloss), and nicely waxed eyebrows (bimonthly).
Eyes- Eyelash Extensions to look doe eyed (take them off with oil)
Jewelry- You need a nice plain diamond pendant, tennis bracelet, and stud earrings. If you can't afford the real....get a sterling silver set and rock it until you get the money.



Week 7 Challenge
1. What's your feminine makeup routine?
2. Strive to dress feminine and wear a dress for at least 3 days this week and take in the results of people around your -- men and women.
3. What are some celebrities or pictures of women that you just LOVE their feminine style? Post a pictures!Could you emulate it?

I've moved myself out of jogging pants and are into the mom jeans. Baby steps, y'all! I've been trying to be consistent with this and keeping the joggers for days that I don't feel well or for weekends. I plan on buying a few dresses and I'm going to try wearing them during the day during 8-5...basically work hours. I'm a stay at home, but I do want to work up to influencing full time. So, I want to dress the part since it's essentially a job. For that, I plan on wearing clear brow gel, some light pink lip gloss and eye liner and/or mascara. This will only work for me when the weather is warm. In the winter, I'm going to have to find some sexy jeans and some cute sweaters to wear.

I don't know about using Crest white strips weekly, but I've been able to get away with whitening my teeth with the strips every 3 years. From there, I use their whitening toothpaste daily (95% whitening is my preference) to maintain. When I'm being really good, after brushing with their toothpaste, I follow up with their whitening mouthwash, then without rinsing use bamboo charcoal tooth powder (rinse), then finish with my waterpik. This leaves me with a mouth that feels like I just got out of the dentist's chair.

I'll have to give you guys an update on where I land with my hair/face/skin routine.

 

[snoop]

Week 8 Challenge
1. Pick 3 Routines you have been doing consistently during this challenge. Write out how you will change this into a ritual.
2. Using your planner from the previous weeks, make deliberate times for you to do these rituals. PENCIL YOURSELF IN FIRST. Write down in your planner the days you intend to do your rituals.

In the month of April, I started doing a morning routine. I would get up early and do said list of tasks before everyone got up. I'd turn on one living room lamp so that there was a soft glow, then turn on the fireplace. It was just nice sitting in the dark (outside) and journaling and watching videos that would help me move closer to my goals in front of the dancing flames.

Hubby asked me why I didn't use the fireplace all winter, but now that it's getting warmer I'm turning it on everyday.

I'm still flushing out the morning routine, but it will be nice to find ways to turn parts of it into ritual.

 

[snoop]

My hair is a type 4 mix, and it’s just below my shoulders. I’m trimming it every three months to get rid of some heat damage that has been ruining my progress. I don’t like the look of twistouts and braidouts etc anymore. I’m noticing a shift in my style overall. It’s becoming much more simple and classic. I’m definitely more interested in fluffy roller sets, big bouncy curls, etc. so I plan to stay natural or get into keratin treatments so I don’t lose the volume I get being natural

I realize that a lot of these are not fluffy curls, but it occurred to me that of all of the women that I follow, VERY FEW of them seem to do fluffy roller type curls. I'll keep looking, but in the meantime, here is some type 4 non-twist out/braid-out hair inspo.

 

[snoop]

 

[kupenda]

@snoop
Thank you! I like the stretched styles much more

 

[kupenda]

I've moved myself out of jogging pants and are into the mom jeans. Baby steps, y'all! I've been trying to be consistent with this and keeping the joggers for days that I don't feel well or for weekends. I plan on buying a few dresses and I'm going to try wearing them during the day during 8-5...basically work hours. I'm a stay at home, but I do want to work up to influencing full time. So, I want to dress the part since it's essentially a job. For that, I plan on wearing clear brow gel, some light pink lip gloss and eye liner and/or mascara. This will only work for me when the weather is warm. In the winter, I'm going to have to find some sexy jeans and some cute sweaters to wear.

I don't know about using Crest white strips weekly, but I've been able to get away with whitening my teeth with the strips every 3 years. From there, I use their whitening toothpaste daily (95% whitening is my preference) to maintain. When I'm being really good, after brushing with their toothpaste, I follow up with their whitening mouthwash, then without rinsing use bamboo charcoal tooth powder (rinse), then finish with my waterpik. This leaves me with a mouth that feels like I just got out of the dentist's chair.

I'll have to give you guys an update on where I land with my hair/face/skin routine.

Do the Crest strips actually work? And how long do they take to see a difference? I always thought it was a gimmick

 

[snoop]

Do the Crest strips actually work? And how long do they take to see a difference? I always thought it was a gimmick

I've used them twice now. Once about 3 years ago and then once three years before that. So you won't necessarily get a Chiclet smile. It depends on how much staining your teeth will give up. I know my dentist told me, before I tried them, that if I did whitening with them I'd probably only get two shades whiter. When I did it, I didn't notice much but when comparing to my molars I could see the difference. My bathroom lights are kind of yellow, especially at night, so I think that I need to again, but when I take pictures or do video chats, my teeth look pretty white.

I definitely didn't use the whole box. Maybe 4 or 5 sets of the strips, 1 set each day. My first box, I split with my dad and his teeth looked really good. All said we didn't have extremely yellow teeth to start.

If I can find the before and after pics from my first round, I will post them for you.

Oh, I should add I'm not a wine drinker, and don't drink black teas very often. I eat mustard occassionally and curry rarely. My dentist said you should brush your teeth, or at least rinse your mouth, after consuming these things if you don't want them to stain your teeth.

 

[kupenda]

I've used them twice now. Once about 3 years ago and then once three years before that. So you won't necessarily get a Chiclet smile. It depends on how much staining your teeth will give up. I know my dentist told me, before I tried them, that if I did whitening with them I'd probably only get two shades whiter. When I did it, I didn't notice much but when comparing to my molars I could see the difference. My bathroom lights are kind of yellow, especially at night, so I think that I need to again, but when I take pictures or do video chats, my teeth look pretty white.

I definitely didn't use the whole box. Maybe 4 or 5 sets of the strips, 1 set each day. My first box, I split with my dad and his teeth looked really good. All said we didn't have extremely yellow teeth to start.

If I can find the before and after pics from my first round, I will post them for you.

Oh, I should add I'm not a wine drinker, and don't drink black teas very often. I eat mustard occassionally and curry rarely. My dentist said you should brush your teeth, or at least rinse your mouth, after consuming these things if you don't want them to stain your teeth.

Thanks! I’m a daily coffee drinker and I feel like there’s a tinge to my teeth. I also want to straighten my two front teeth, they are kinda wonky. So I’m looking into Invisalign and Snow etc for options

 

[snoop]

@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour


Week 18: Limiting Beliefs

A limiting belief is a belief you have (a thought you've repeated over and over and accept as fact) that you think makes it impossible for you to get what you want. Usually deeply ingrained from childhood or from past experiences.


In order to heal a limiting belief you have to replace it with a different thought. In order to heal a trigger, you have to experience it, recognize you're being triggered, accept/love this irrational feeling that's coming up, investigate if it's true, and if it's not, choose to do something different (even if it's scary).

• Could you close your eyes and imagine your soulmate?
  
  
  
• Limiting Beliefs: affirmation, meditation, reframe your limiting beliefs. Flip Tool is when you FLIP these beliefs and transform them to something powerful and positive like an affirmation. Examples:
  • All men are bad. → Most black men are good.
    
    
    
  • Love doesn’t last forever. → Anything worthwhile in life requires a degree of risk.
    
    
    
  • Men don’t like my personality. → There is an abundance of men like that who really want to LOVE me, just for being you.
    
    
    
  • I’m not worthy of love → I am worthy of my heart’s desires.
    
    
    
  • I’m not good enough → I am worthy. I always have been. I always will be. I am perfect just as I am.
    
    
    
  • I fear that I won’t ever find a romantic partner → There is someone out there that likes me for me and would love to date me.
    
    
    
  • Men want to waste my time → “The right man for me will stay”.
    
    
    
  • No good man will want me. → There is an abundance of good single men out there willing to give me the commitment I desire.
    
    
    
  • I can’t get out of debt → There is an abundance of wealth out there just waiting for me to take it on.
    
    
    
  • My disability is a curse → My disability is an opportunity for me to do something that no one has ever done before.
    
    
    
  • You can’t even get a man interested in you. You loser woman. → Delight yourself in the Lord and you shall be given the desires of your heart.
    
    
    
  • You should give up on dating. Love isn’t for you. Can’t you see? → I am worthy of EVERYTHING good in life.
    
    
    
  • Who do you think you are to be treated like queen of England by men? → I am a child of the Universe, a divine spark, deserving of the highest treatment and goodies that life has to offer.
    
    
    
  • IDENTIFY WHAT YOU WANT AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN PUTTING OFF.
    
    
    
  • Link massive pain to NOT doing what you want. What will happen if you don’t do what you want. What’s my life going to be like. What will it cost me?
    
    
    
  • Link pleasure to doing it?

I discovered that the root of past self-esteem issues was my fear of rejection and abandonment. This is further rooted in the belief that you aren't "good enough." I actually asked myself why I acted the way that I did with men, and I listened and a small voice said, "Because you don't think you're good enough." I was floored!





Week 18 Challenge
1. What are your limiting beliefs?
2. What are you going to navigate this?

 

[snoop]

@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour



Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers


Why not treat yourself to beauty?

Flowers have been scientifically proven to make you happier.

Researchers Seong-Hyun Park and Richard H. Mattson or Kansas State University found that hospital patients who stayed in rooms filled with plants and flowers had "significantly fewer intakes of postoperative analgesics, more positive physiological responses evidenced by lower systolic blood pressure and heart rate, lower ratings of pain, anxiety, and fatigue, and more positive feelings and higher satisfaction about their rooms when compared with patients in the control group". If flowers can do that for hospital patients, surely a healthy person can gain some benefit by putting them in their home. Right?

During this challenge we focus on a lot. We focus on you becoming a better girlfriend/wife. We focus on you becoming a better mother. We focus on you becoming a better housewife. All of this starts with you. This means how YOU feel comes first. It’s not just about looking feminine, it is also about living and breathing the part. One way to do so is to surround yourself with beauty. You should place fresh flowers at home, so that every time you arrive or leave, you are reminded that you are a beautiful woman with the world at her feet. From daisies to lilies, it is up to you what you want to bring into your home.

Bright, fresh cut flowers instantly improve your mood. People with fresh flowers in their homes are most likely to feel less worried and feel fewer periods of anxiety or depression.

Fresh flowers have been shown to stimulate creativity while promoting concentration. Adding flowers and fresh plants to your child’s bedroom or play area will brighten the space as well as their growing imagination, while also encouraging responsibility. Put a vase at your desk because they can also spark your creativity while you’re at work.



Week 19 Challenge Add touches of beauty throughout by adding real flowers.

1. Already have flowers in your space? Use your feminine energy to nurture a houseplant.

 

[snoop]

@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour



Week 20: Home Aromas
This lies in the power of your femininity. Continue to look to improve your home. Keep fresh flowers, but also focus on aromas. What does your home SMELL like? When your husband/children walk in... what do they smell? Smells often set the tone. Bring out the candles. Seek to use candlelight instead of bright light fixtures where you want it calming such as in your bedroom. Add scented candles to the living room to transform your space.

Ideas:

• Place thick pretty blankets at the edge of your bed or couch.
• Light candles to transform your space.
• Replace white outlet covers with brushed nickel or chrome
• Add fresh flowers
• You could make a Lavender/Eucalyptus Linen Spray
• Create a pleasant smell with lavender or vanilla plug-ins.
• Replace dish soap bottles with glass soap dispensers
• Change the hardware on the drawers
• Use lamps instead of overhead lights
• Keep clutter out of sight. No mail, paper, or junk anywhere.
• Keep the television or computers in certain rooms. Use a Bluetooth speaker to play smooth music instead.
• Keep your sink EMPTY. Load your dishwasher at night and empty it every morning.

Week 20 Challenge

1. Add touches of sexiness, femininity, and aroma throughout by adding candles.
2. Continue nurturing your flowers and houseplants from last week. Take in their beauty. Admire their beauty. Make it your focal point. If your flowers are placed in the kitchen or living room, make sure it’s in your direct focus upon entering the home so you can take in and appreciate its beauty

 

[PrissiSippi]

Whew I’ve completely left y’all out the loop. After I posted last my son got put in the hospital. Two fractures later I found out he has my disability. I truly am happy for this challenge because the entire time I was able to keep the focus on me and my family. I made choice to look at the brighter side. I made the hospital stay very fun. I looked to the brighter side. I came up and picked up the pieces as much as I could. Things have gotten back to as normal as they can be. One been balancing doctors appointments parenthood and working with style and grace. It’s really all because of this challenge. How have you all been?

 

[Plushottie]

Whew I’ve completely left y’all out the loop. After I posted last my son got put in the hospital. Two fractures later I found out he has my disability. I truly am happy for this challenge because the entire time I was able to keep the focus on me and my family. I made choice to look at the brighter side. I made the hospital stay very fun. I looked to the brighter side. I came up and picked up the pieces as much as I could. Things have gotten back to as normal as they can be. One been balancing doctors appointments parenthood and working with style and grace. It’s really all because of this challenge. How have you all been?

You have been busy. Glad baby is ok. This thread subject is just a way of life to me has for a few years. I find the more I follow wo overthinking the less resistance

 

[snoop]

Whew I’ve completely left y’all out the loop. After I posted last my son got put in the hospital. Two fractures later I found out he has my disability. I truly am happy for this challenge because the entire time I was able to keep the focus on me and my family. I made choice to look at the brighter side. I made the hospital stay very fun. I looked to the brighter side. I came up and picked up the pieces as much as I could. Things have gotten back to as normal as they can be. One been balancing doctors appointments parenthood and working with style and grace. It’s really all because of this challenge. How have you all been?

I'm sorry to hear that you son had to go through this. It sounds like you've taken everything from this thread and made it as comfortable and stress-free as you can for your family.

 

[snoop]

@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour



Week 21: How Clean is Your Home


A clean home says so much about who you are as a feminine woman. A clean home is inviting and makes your family feel special and proud, and your guests feel comfortable. With just minutes a day and a PLAN, home up-keeping can be enjoyable, simple, and easy to fit into your busy life and schedule. Aim to really pay close attention to your home. MAINTAIN what the universe/God has given you. Focus on the beauty of YOUR OWN LIFE and if you don't particularly feel like it is beautiful right now, take the time to MAKE IT THAT WAY.
Clutter Affirmations:
I release clutter that does not serve me.
I am a total feminine woman and my home reflects that.
I am worthy of the desires of my heart which include a clean home.
I have ENOUGH and I am ENOUGH to replace old shabby materialistic items.

We all have it. Broken pots and furnishings still in use, spotted or old clothing still being worn, old underwear still in rotation, broken glasses, and more. These are examples of what is never found in a Royal lifestyle. Get rid of what does not give you peace. Each of these items carry latent energy that clutters our mind MENTALLY. Don’t pretend to be a feminine queen while living in rubbles. Feminine Women are royal and carry consistent, pristine energy that allows for no blockages.



1. You don’t need more space of stuff as much as you need to get rid of some things. Remember the less things you have, the easier it is to clean up. Make it easier on yourself. If you can’t clean up your kids’ room in about 15 minutes, they have too much stuff. If you can't wash one load of clothes a day and put them away and stay on top of clothes being laundered....you have too many clothes. If you cant wash and put away your dishes...you have too many.

2. Have financial respect of your husband. You don’t need more money as much as you need to reduce your expenses and STUFF. Declutter your life and create a PEACEFUL environment for your family.

3. It’s a lot of work involved in being a good homemaker. This is the reason why wives should have the option of staying at home. When one works outside of the house, the home suffers. Common areas the family suffers in include: meal planning, organization, tidiness of family appearance, and CLEANLINESS OF YOUR HOME. If you DO choose to work, make a plan to keep this under wraps.

4. Establish small routines first and then work up to more items. Don’t try to do a full-blown routine the very first day. Start small (just like this challenge) but the key is consistency and persistence.

5. A clean home DOES NOT happen over night. It is the result of tiny changes over several months.

6. What's your plan to keep your home clean and tidy all of the time? What's your plan to declutter?


Wife School's Method to Daily Cleaning

Get a garbage bag and gather ALL garbage.

Do a load of laundry EVERYDAY. However, laundry is not done until it is put away by you. Throw all dirty laundry in the bin, start a load & return all dry/clean laundry to the closets.

Clean and tidy all big items: beds, tables, sofas, etc.

Put all dishes in the kitchen, load dishwasher or wash by hand. PUT THE DISHES AWAY AFTER THIS.

ALL other items in their DESIGNATED home. NO CLUTTER OR HOMELESS ITEMS CAN STAY.

Clean off all surface tops, and let any dirt or dust fall to the floor.

Wipe & polish all walls, surfaces, then entire toilets.

Sweep and/or vacuum, then wash the floor directly (with disinfectant) to see all dirt, no far away mop.

Decorate & beautify as needed, and add a lovely smell & some peaceful music. Then have silent moment.

FLY LADY KAT'S METHOD OF CLEANING

1. There are four beginning routines: Morning Routine, Paper Routine, Afternoon Routine

a. Morning Routine: Make Bed, Wash Face, Brush Teeth, Shine Sink, Empty Dishwasher, Eat, Do one Load of Laundry, Drink some Water, Exercise

b. Afternoon: Take bath, Lay out clothes, Put 5 things away, Check Calendar, Go to Bed on Time, Load Dishwasher and Run It,

c. Paper Routine: Take Five Minutes to Throw Paper Away Away as SOON as you get it. (When the mail runs, instead of holding onto mail you pay the bill, throw the magazine away or read it, and/or file materials).

Tips to Organization

Set a daily routine. There are a handful of chores you should do each day if you want to maintain a clean and clutter-free domestic heaven. Thankfully, these chores are quick enough to squeeze in even if you work a job outside of the home or have a houseful of kids to attend to.

To reduce your stress as much as possible, plan on accomplishing each of these daily chores during a certain time of the day. Organizing your time may help you relieve some of the anxiety you feel about getting everything done.

Daily tasks you'll need to make time for include making the bed, sorting the mail, and sweeping or vacuuming the floor.

Other daily tasks should be performed as you go along. These include putting things away (to prevent clutter from developing), cleaning up as you cook, and wiping up fresh spills.

EACH DAY IS DEDICATED TO A TASK IN ADDITION TO ROUTINES

d. Monday: House Blessing – bless home for an hour- Wash sheets and put back on bed, dust and let it fall to the floor, clean all mirrors, quickly vacuum and sweep, wipe down all counters

e. Tuesday: Free Day

f. Wednesday: Planning and Desk Day – plan meals, groceries, outfits, and errands

g. Thursday: Errand Day: buy the groceries to make your meals, Go to the post office, go to the bank, do any errands needed

h. Friday: Car and Purse Day: Sit at work during a down period and clean your purse. Before you get home sit in your car and clean your car out (keep a broom and plastic bag in the car for this), and put gas in the car

i. Saturday: Family Fun Day: Do something with the family

j. Sunday: Renew Your Spirit Day – Go to church, do your hair, prepare for next week while watching shows, and etc.

2. Every Saturday Morning de-clutter and clean a Zone

a. Zone 1: Entryway and Dining

b. Zone 2: Kitchen

c. Zone 3: Living Room, and Another Bedroom, Guest Bathroom

d. Zone 4: Master Bedroom, Closet, and Bathroom

e. Zone 5: Other Bedrooms



Week 21 Challenge
1. What is your housekeeping plan? Make it detailed. Using whatever method you would like, how will you make sure that you keep your home beautiful and peaceful to give you a beautiful environment that matches your beauty?
2. How could you inspire and teach your children to relieve you of unnecessary stress and help you with this process?
3. What are 3 SMALL ways you could beautify your home? Add a flower? Change out a painting? Add some sunlight? Declutter an area?
4. Focus on ONE room. Make your bedroom your sacred space. It should be clutter free (closet clutter is fine) and nothing besides bedding should be placed on top, side of, or under bed except for when sleeping.

 

[snoop]

I've been good at keeping up with the Boss Baby Brunches. Today is a holiday and so I decided to host one today since it meant that I would have a bit of time to prepare.

I've also bought a bunch of dresses, but didn't get to wear a the last week because it was too cold, but I have been making an effort to not wear joggers. I've almost detoxed from them to the point where my first instinct in the morning isn't to grab them. YAY!

 

[kupenda]

I've been good at keeping up with the Boss Baby Brunches. Today is a holiday and so I decided to host one today since it meant that I would have a bit of time to prepare.

I've also bought a bunch of dresses, but didn't get to wear a the last week because it was too cold, but I have been making an effort to not wear joggers. I've almost detoxed from them to the point where my first instinct in the morning isn't to grab them. YAY!

Woo! That’s fantastic!

 

[snoop]

Happy Monday, ladies!

Here's another video that I listened to that I thought would be helpful for the group.




ETA: This link won't play directly on LHCF, but it will take you to YT if you want to watch there.

 

[snoop]

@PrissiSippi
@snoop
@Sosoothing
@LostInAdream
@awhyley
@avi1derful
@NaturalEnigma
@MamaBear2012
@TrueSugar
@long.hair.dont.care
@kupenda
@tinkat
@Black Ambrosia
@SpiritJunkie
@danniegirl
@MissNina
@Belle Du Jour



Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home

As a woman you have the ability to build your home or tear it to a million pieces.
Make your house a place that your husband and children want to come home to. Think about how your home looks, smells, sounds, tastes like (the food you cook), and the feelings you have when you walk in the front door. Find out what is important to your husband. Many men don't sweat the little things but most importantly they want to come home to a peaceful environment and a happy and loving wife. We know there can be many reasons for this and all are not solely your fault, but how can YOU change the quality of your home and change your HOUSE into a HAVEN today? What little baby steps would need to occur to create a bigger picture?

One way you can transform your home is with music. Whenever appropriate, have music playing in the home. The type of music is not what is most important, but classical and jazz has been known to have positive frequencies (528 Hz) that encourages creativity, mental efficiency, and productivity.

Every husband and family will be different but what is it that makes your family feel comfortable? Make your home a place that your family can come home to feel refreshed.


Week 22 Challenge
1. What is it that you could do to help your house feel comfortable?
2. What small baby steps could you work on to help your family come home and feel refreshed? Add a candle? Purchase a bouquet of flowers for the dining room table?
3. How could you nurture a musical home? Turn on some jazz music for when the kids come home from school? Smile and play soothing music while giving nonsexual touch when your significant other comes home? Give yourself some me time and unwind to music?
4. What is it that could transform your home through you setting the tone?

 

[snoop]

Here's another one

 

[kupenda]

I’ve been working on modifying the feel of our home. I insist on fresh flowers as part of the grocery budget. We also have a budget for those cute little Wallflowers and the fun scents from Bath and Body Works, and I have them on the floors we use most often. In the colder months I had plenty of candles to burn but I haven’t gotten any warm weather ones yet. Plus I have my plants! There’s one in the master bath and I’m looking to move a few into the master bedroom. The other ones in the living room for now. He was against plants at first but they’ve grown on him and he seems very invested in my plant maintenance. As for music though. I hate background noise. I play music intentionally, otherwise I prefer silence. That’s something I’ll let him manage because he loves to have music on throughout the house while having the tv on and he’s a jazz lover as well