# "Natural Hair Community My A**" -NikkiiDior



## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 5, 2011)

http://youtu.be/rKiebRQYrPY

Who got popcorn?


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## sweetnlow06 (Nov 5, 2011)

I feel bad for her. People should not be treated that way. Especially over hair.


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## southerncitygirl (Nov 5, 2011)

PersuasiveBeauty

she is right......even on this forum anything other than 4b/c hair is associated with being easier to maintain and  manage. every hair type has its pros and cons. i'm a cottony 3c/4a and black,white, and hispanic ( black, indian, metizo,or white ones )folks say all kinds of slick and/or disrepectful  stuff to me. i also get annoyed that black folks say so many ignorant things including stuff about our hair in mixed company. 


I constantly have to reinterate the following:

Unlike the movie "Good Hair" most black women I know don't spend rent money or ruin their credit all in the name of their hair, products or its maintanence.
Our hair is not always chronically dry and more often than not feels soft.
Just because my hair is straight doesn't mean I have a weave or relaxer
Black hair is not hard to manage.
Black hair does grow and it doesn't grow slow. Retention is key.
I have shrinkage people! 
Curly hair will always look shorter than straight, especially with a tighter curl pattern cause our hair tends to grow up or be floppy/fluffy.
I remind folks that most descendants of slaves have something in the the mix so to be technical we all are mixed racially/ ethinically ( black americans/ carribean folks).
Weaves/wigs are a styling option, it doesn't mean people are bald.


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## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 5, 2011)

southerncitygirl said:


> PersuasiveBeauty
> 
> she is right......even on this forum anything other than 4b/c hair is associated with being easier to maintain and  manage. every hair type has its pros and cons. i'm a cottony 3c/4a and black,white, and hispanic ( black, indian, metizo,or white ones )folks say all kinds of slick and/or disrepectful  stuff to me. i also get annoyed that black folks say so many ignorant things including stuff about our hair in mixed company.



Whoa whoa whoa whoa. I didn't take sides. I just said "Who got popcorn?" 







 Dear God please don't put me in the middle of this thread. I am only the messenger. I promise!


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## AHeadOfCoils (Nov 5, 2011)

PersuasiveBeauty said:


> Whoa whoa whoa whoa. I didn't take sides. I just said "Who got popcorn?"
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I think you read too much into her message.  She just mentioned you because you started the thread


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## Okay (Nov 5, 2011)

Aww shes so beautiful.

I think the "haters" are just jealous of her.


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## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 5, 2011)

AHeadOfCoils said:


> I think you read too much into her message.  She just mentioned you because you started the thread




*wipes sweat off of brow* ...You can't blame me for being so scared...


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## pookaloo83 (Nov 5, 2011)

She seemed really hurt.


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## LittleLuxe (Nov 5, 2011)

I think she has a point and I don't think it should become a drama that needs popcorn and gifs, we can all chill out and acknowledge things aren't perfect in hair land.

Sadly we discriminate, distinguish and separate others from ourselves. Whites do it, blacks do it, other races do it.

It's even done on this board.

Relaxed vs. Natural, 3's vs 4's, transitioners vs. Big chops on and on.

I think it's sad, I think were all guilty of it on some level and I think we've all heard/read/said/thought/ something that was hurtful to us because of our texture and the way we choose our hair...or we have done that to others.

It's sad but the best we can do is try to do better every day so we can ultimately get to the point where we do embrace eachother more fully and truthfully. 

I can see her pain and she was respectful with her message, good luck to her.


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## AHeadOfCoils (Nov 5, 2011)

She's right!  Just because her hair is looser that doesn't make her natural hair journey any less significant than others.  Society instilled that same "good hair" crap into her as the rest of us.  I feel bad for her.  Members of her own community outcasted her....


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## southerncitygirl (Nov 5, 2011)

PersuasiveBeauty

i wasn't jumping down your throat and if you thought so my apologies. i just tagged you cause you started the thread. people are so cruel and ignorant she doesn't deserve to be treated that way. whether people are relaxed or natural i'm about sisterhood and supporting and uplifting one another as black women!


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## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 5, 2011)

southerncitygirl said:


> PersuasiveBeauty
> 
> *i wasn't jumping down your throat and if you thought so my apologies*. i just tagged you cause you started the thread. people are so cruel and ignorant she doesn't deserve to be treated that way. whether people are relaxed or natural i'm about sisterhood and supporting and uplifting one another as black women!



I know that now. And honey it is not your fault. I've just witnessed too many e-fights on LHCF.


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## reeko43 (Nov 5, 2011)

"Let's not act like you don't get more acceptance from men because you are﻿ light skinned with "good hair" ...Nobody should be rude to you. They should embrace you. I believe that you go through equal hair issues with maintenance and retention as well... But don't sit up there and front like society does not give you a privilege because of your light skin and hair texture. You want us to pretend like it's not there? Girl go turn on BET."

SMH at this Youtube comment.


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## LittleLuxe (Nov 5, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> "Let's not act like you don't get more acceptance from men because you are﻿ light skinned with "good hair" ...Nobody should be rude to you. They should embrace you. I believe that you go through equal hair issues with maintenance and retention as well... But don't sit up there and front like society does not give you a privilege because of your light skin and hair texture. You want us to pretend like it's not there? Girl go turn on BET."
> 
> SMH at this Youtube comment.



 A house divided...


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## Kalia1 (Nov 5, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> "Let's not act like you don't get more acceptance from men because you are﻿ light skinned with "good hair" ...Nobody should be rude to you. They should embrace you. I believe that you go through equal hair issues with maintenance and retention as well... But don't sit up there and front like society does not give you a privilege because of your light skin and hair texture. You want us to pretend like it's not there? Girl go turn on BET."
> 
> SMH at this Youtube comment.



Do any of us control the distribution of melanin in our skin tones?

I can relate to her pain.


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## nzeee (Nov 5, 2011)

oh... uhm... no comment


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## naturalgyrl5199 (Nov 5, 2011)

reeko43:

Girl for a second there I thought that was you making that comment! I had to read it twice!!!! Whew...Lol.

But yeah that poster on YT is a mess. Sounds a lil jealous you know?

Haters gonna hate.


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## LadyRaider (Nov 5, 2011)

People are weird. If I *DID* have some sort of natural advantage, I'd just be happy about it and think, "Lucky me!"

That's why we have a problem with some "good" white people. They can't accept their advantages. 

I have a lot of advantages in my life. My hair tending not to tangle very much is one and thank goodness for it.  I could see that things might be tougher for someone who has really really tight curls. I feel for them. I am pretty sure they can overcome. 

It's all good, people!


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## guyanesesista (Nov 5, 2011)

It's sad that she has to be treated like that. By the way, I wonder what city she lives in? There's a natural hair expo going on right now near where I live.


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## aquajoyice (Nov 5, 2011)

It's so stupid. All these ridiculous reasons to keep us divided. I wonder what would happen if we all came together. Maybe it's asking too much. I really feel for her because those with insecurities want to impose their issues on others.


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## aquajoyice (Nov 5, 2011)

LadyRaider said:


> People are weird. If I *DID* have some sort of natural advantage, I'd just be happy about it and think, "Lucky me!"
> 
> That's why we have a problem with some "good" white people. They can't accept their advantages.
> 
> ...



I think the issue is the grass is always greener on the other side. All hair types have their issues...they may be different but still issues.


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## naturalmanenyc (Nov 5, 2011)

Wow, she seems really upset.  Hopefully she will come back and fully address the issue because I'm a little confused.  It sounds like someone at the hair show was throwing shade and she presumes it was related to her hair being a looser texture?


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## Raspberry (Nov 5, 2011)

She just made a Part 2

http://www.youtube.com/user/NikkiiDior#p/u/0/pDGEKG73_To


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## nappystorm (Nov 5, 2011)

Lanre1777's font is VERY familiar...


> Women like you crack me up. Do you think her light skinned *** sticks up for you and the way the media represents you? But then when women like Tyra Banks stick up for you it's a problem.. Tyra is the ONLY light skinned woman I have seen take a stand for dark skinned women. Light﻿ skinned women like her come crying and you pat her on the back and say it's okay, but when she is eating up all the perks she don't never vouch for yo ***. And you KNOW that's true.


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## DrC (Nov 5, 2011)

nappystorm said:


> Lanre1777's font is VERY familiar...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Tyra Banks is light skinned??


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## WhippedButterCreme (Nov 5, 2011)

It's the most surreal thing to be discriminated against by your own! Really! I've gotten hits here and there, but nothing as serious as she has.

Just this week I made the mistake of saying that I was one of the few 'brown' faces in my science major and some of my fellow sisters jumped down my throat and said 'light brown' as if it was another category and I couldn't go into being 'brown' okaaaaaaaaaay. 

I bet if you asked the nonblacks in my class they would have said 'brown' and not that 'light brown' nonsense, same with Nikki's hair. America sees Black as BLACK whether your caramel, cocoa, chocolate, dark chocolate or whatever. 

It's funny because you tell non-blacks about the 'light vs dark' complex, most of them wtf and think I'm/you're making it up. SMH


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## nappystorm (Nov 5, 2011)

DrC said:


> Tyra Banks is light skinned??



She's light to me but that subjective I guess. I just remember a poster being such a Tyra stan because she "stood up for dark girls".


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## WhippedButterCreme (Nov 5, 2011)

DrC said:


> Tyra Banks is light skinned??


  I've been taught recently that there's two kinds of light.  'yellowbone' and 'redbone' 

where yellow is more alicia keys, lisa raye, mariah carey and red is saniaa laathan, beyonce, zoe saldana. So then by that thought she is in red category? (I've been told this many times and listened to arguments over it)

SO by that thought, yeah she is. I also think one of her white managers told her that he could sell her to the masses because she 'had light skin and green eyes' anyone who isn't crayon brown is light I think...right?  All unimportant things if you ask me


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## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 5, 2011)

WhippedButterCreme said:


> It's the most surreal thing to be discriminated against by your own! Really! I've gotten hits here and there, but nothing as serious as she has.
> 
> Just this week I made the mistake of saying that I was one of the few 'brown' faces in my science major and some of my fellow sisters jumped down my throat and said 'light brown' as if it was another category and I couldn't go into being 'brown' okaaaaaaaaaay.
> 
> ...



Exactly, because we are all human and we all go through our own problems in life.

I'm curious, do you think that other races go through problems like we do? Fighting each other over physical attributes?


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## natura87 (Nov 5, 2011)

AHeadOfCoils said:


> She's right!  Just because her hair is looser that doesn't make her natural hair journey any less significant than others.  Society instilled that same "good hair" crap into her as the rest of us.  I feel bad for her.  Members of her own community outcasted her....



 I have noticed this as well. I have a young cousin who just turned 4 who had MBL fine 3bc hair, both parents are black, he is a dark skinned little boy. Now let me tell you, he HATED his hair. I never met someone so tenderheaded in my life. Aint no gel in the world that could tame his hair, 5 seconds after doing his hair he would have flyaways. People would practically beg to do his hair, tell him what a pretty girl he was, mess up his curls. People assumed that becuase he had a looser finer texture that everything was all honkydory.  His mother cut it for his 4th birthday and he was sooooo happy. To be honest...all that hair "feminized" (I know thats probably not a word) him and kept a lot of people treating him like a baby. He looks like a boy now and is proud to tell you that he doesnt have long hair anymore.

My coworkers daughter hair is the same as my cousin (she is mixed though) and....yeah her hair is a frizzy halo in a heartbeat. Half the time her daughter gets her hair redid more than once a day becuase styles just dont keep. So whoever said that looser textures mean easier upkeep have no clue what they are talking about.


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## LittleLuxe (Nov 5, 2011)

PersuasiveBeauty said:


> Exactly, because we are all human and we all go through our own problems in life.
> 
> I'm curious, do you think that other races go through problems like we do? Fighting each other over physical attributes?




I think we need to remember every race has their own issues and complexes and it can manifest just as negatively and divisively. 

I forgot where specifically where I read it but I recall reading in a magazine once a Chinese girl saying she was essentially happy with her appearance. But while she was content living in California she'd secretly dread going home to visit her family. 

This was because while she was thin by most American standards she was considered 'fat' in general by society back home. If she was eating in a restaurant she'd see the waitresses make certain expressions if she finished her whole plate or asked for dessert.

She'd also be scolded for her skin being too dark (living in California) by her Mom and would find tubes of skin lightening cream on her pillow at night. She also said her mom approached her one day saying she'd found a Dr. who did nose jobs for some daughter of her friend and was all excited because he was cheap and did a good job.


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## WhippedButterCreme (Nov 5, 2011)

PersuasiveBeauty said:


> Exactly, because we are all human and we all go through our own problems in life.
> 
> I'm curious, do you think that other races go through problems like we do? Fighting each other over physical attributes?



Actually I do! I know so!  One of my best friends growing up (Latina) wasn't taught Spanish and we actually learned it together in high school.

The prof even told her 'Do you know why you need to know Spanish? Because you're Mexican!!'

She told me a story about how girls who were nice to her did a 180 when they realized she didn't speak Spanish and how they used to laugh at her/make fun of her and call her 'gringa.'

Then my Godsister who's white and a brunette tells me how one of her cousins is treated as the holy grail because she's blond 

Also I know with Indians and Latinos there's a color barrier too (ever watch a Lain Soap opera)  There has to be if the majority of them have more melanin then I do!


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## lesedi (Nov 5, 2011)

WhippedButterCreme said:


> I've been taught recently that there's two kinds of light.  'yellowbone' and 'redbone'
> 
> where yellow is more alicia keys, lisa raye, mariah carey and red is saniaa laathan, beyonce, zoe saldana. So then by that thought she is in red category? (I've been told this many times and listened to arguments over it)
> 
> SO by that thought, yeah she is. I also think one of her white managers told her that he could sell her to the masses because she 'had light skin and green eyes' anyone who isn't crayon brown is light I think...right?  All unimportant things if you ask me



i still don't get the yellow bone and red bone differences....If it's undertone then I'm confused because doesn't bey have yellow undertones?
And don't you get lots of darker people with red undertones? I don't know why people bother with these terms. We all know a light person when we see them


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## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 5, 2011)

WhippedButterCreme said:


> Actually I do! I know so!  One of my best friends growing up (Latina) wasn't taught Spanish and we actually learned it together in high school.
> 
> The prof even told her 'Do you know why you need to know Spanish? Because you're Mexican!!'
> 
> ...



I never stay on the Spanish channel because whenever I flip past there is that lady that does the talk shows and she talks too fast for me to keep up.


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## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 5, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> I think we need to remember every race has their own issues and complexes and it can manifest just as negatively and divisively.
> 
> I forgot where specifically where I read it but I recall reading in a magazine once a Chinese girl saying she was essentially happy with her appearance. But while she was content living in California she'd secretly dread going home to visit her family.
> 
> ...



That is horrible!


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## WhippedButterCreme (Nov 5, 2011)

lesedi said:


> i still don't get the yellow bone and red bone differences....If it's undertone then I'm confused because doesn't bey have yellow undertones?
> And don't you get lots of darker people with red undertones? I don't know why people bother with these terms. We all know a light person when we see them



That's how I feel! I never  knew about undertones until I started using foundation and colors that looked like they should have worked for my complexion didn't because they were the wrong undertone 

 Exactly  I know 'dark' 'light' or 'middle' when I see it. IMO I really don't look at someone's race and go 'oh he's light for a...' or 'she's dark for a...' Just a general color spectrum for me. (shrugs) I guess that's why everyone who 'light' in the Black community goes for to 'middle' in my spectrum


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## WhippedButterCreme (Nov 5, 2011)

PersuasiveBeauty said:


> I never stay on the Spanish channel because whenever I flip past there is that lady that does the talk shows and she talks too fast for me to keep up.



LOL!!! That's another topic for another day!!


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## Raspberry (Nov 5, 2011)

natura87 said:


> I have noticed this as well. I have a young cousin who just turned 4 who had MBL fine 3bc hair, both parents are black, he is a dark skinned little boy. Now let me tell you, he HATED his hair. I never met someone so tenderheaded in my life. Aint no gel in the world that could tame his hair, 5 seconds after doing his hair he would have flyaways. People would practically beg to do his hair, tell him what a pretty girl he was, mess up his curls. People assumed that becuase he had a looser finer texture that everything was all honkydory.  His mother cut it for his 4th birthday and he was sooooo happy. To be honest...all that hair "feminized" (I know thats probably not a word) him and kept a lot of people treating him like a baby. He looks like a boy now and is proud to tell you that he doesnt have long hair anymore.
> 
> My coworkers daughter hair is the same as my cousin (she is mixed though) and....yeah her hair is a frizzy halo in a heartbeat. Half the time her daughter gets her hair redid more than once a day becuase styles just dont keep. So whoever said that looser textures mean easier upkeep have no clue what they are talking about.



I agree   I have some biracial female relatives and their hair textures are all slightly different from one another. One has the so-called grease and water hair that many black women envy .. another has 3b/3c curls that took her years to learn how to care for, and yet another is in between the two. The one with 3c curls was often called "Brillo" in high school and jad a hard time with dryness and frizziness ...now she texlaxes maybe twice a year and the bulk is reduced and she rocks a curly wash-n-go style. At family reunions some of my other monoracial relatives take turns cooing and stroking/petting their hair which I can tell makes them uncomfortable after a while (it's kind of creepy IMO).  Even though my relatives react to their natural waves/curls way more positively then when I was natural lol it doesn't negate the fact that they had their own haircare journeys to work through.

They also had their own racial identity journeys they worked out in different ways.. that's a separate tangent I guess but to reduce their personal story to "but black men like you better" is kind of silly..not to mention not all of them even dated/married black men 

ETA: I will say that none of my biracial relatives would make a video claiming that their hair story is just like their monoracial counterparts though..


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## Tamster (Nov 5, 2011)

This is sad... people are so.. extra. i mean really? this is a hair thing, and you are gonna ignore her? really? wow. I feel bad for her. 

To answer the question about colorism in other races (or at least differences...) light is right is an extremely pervasive thing... 

I knew a girl in college who was a dark skinned thai. She was adopted by a white family. In college, she went back to thailand for the first time since being adopted (i think on study abroad) and they cursed at her, replaced her lotions with lightening creams, called her dirty and a whore on the street, wouldnt treat her right in stores... the whole 9... she knew what they were saying because she can understand the language. 

She was so happy to be in Thailand and I think was finding her family but at the same time she was happy she didnt grow up there. They treated her horribly.


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## Raine054 (Nov 5, 2011)

I feel for her but lighter skinned blacks experience favoritism among blacks and whites. That is the nature of colorism. That doesn't make any of what she experiences justified but it deserves to be acknowledged. 

It's funny because I recently had a conversation with one of girls I tutor. She was upset that kinkier hair textures are usually excluded from natural hair ads and various print media with Zoe Saldana being touted as the average black girl when we know this is not the case. There has been this shift that embraces bi-racial, lighter-skinned, and racially ambiguous women as the new black and I'm wondering if other Black women feel slighted. I think Black women just want an accurate representation of our makeup to be portrayed in society.


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## niqu92 (Nov 5, 2011)

WhippedButterCreme said:


> Actually I do! I know so!  One of my best friends growing up (Latina) wasn't taught Spanish and we actually learned it together in high school.
> 
> The prof even told her 'Do you know why you need to know Spanish? Because you're Mexican!!'
> 
> ...




yupyuuup one of my friends in puerto rican but she's dark skinned. at my school theres an latin american student association so she signed up and went to the 1st meeting when she went everybody just stopped and stared at her.and it wasnt until they called her name (her last name is Martinez) that everybody was like
i dont know why hispanics try to act like there arent any dark/black hispanics..especially colombians.one of my friends is colombian and she aaalways talks about how white colombians are and how  a lot of them are blond blahbleh and then one day i  was like "...umm eileen colombia has the 3rd highest number of black people in the western hemisphere. there are more black people there than in haiti and jamaica combined."
and you know what this fool said? "oohh yeah but they dont count" nono:


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## WhippedButterCreme (Nov 5, 2011)

Raine054 said:


> I feel for her but lighter skinned blacks experience favoritism among blacks and whites. That is the nature of colorism. That doesn't make any of what she experiences justified but it deserves to be acknowledged.
> 
> It's funny because I recently had a conversation with one of girls I tutor. She was upset that kinkier hair textures are usually excluded from natural hair ads and various print media with Zoe Saldana being touted average black girl when we know this is not the case. There has been this shift that embraces bi-racial, lighter-skinned, and racially ambiguous women as the new black and I'm wondering if other Black women feel slighted. I think Black women just want an accurate representation of our makeup to be portrayed in society.



Wow!!!! Thank you!!! This is sooo true! Everytime America portrays a 'Black woman' or features the new 'it Black lady' she's mixed, or light. And yes Raine I do feel slighted because when I look at Blacks in real life, the majority of us aren't Zoe's complexion or racially mixed. (Great grandmother was Native American, but I don't consider that enough to be mixed. I'm Black and will correct others in a heart beat )

Damn, so does that mean I can't represent the Black masses?  Or do we just need more of a diversity? (IE popstars who will wear their natural dark hair color/hair texture?)


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## WhippedButterCreme (Nov 5, 2011)

niqu92 said:


> yupyuuup one of my friends in puerto rican but she's dark skinned. at my school theres an latin american student association so she signed up and went to the 1st meeting when she went everybody just stopped and stared at her.and it wasnt until they called her name (her last name is Martinez) that everybody was like
> i dont know why hispanics try to act like there arent any dark/black hispanics..especially colombians.one of my friends is colombian and she aaalways talks about how white colombians are and how  a lot of them are blond blahbleh and then one day i  was like "...umm eileen colombia has the 3rd highest number of black people in the western hemisphere. there are more black people there than in haiti and jamaica combined."
> and you know what this fool said? "oohh yeah but they dont count" nono:



 (facepalm + sigh)


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## DaughterOfZion1 (Nov 5, 2011)

I do accept all people as part of the natural movement/group whether or not you have 3a curls or 4bcdefg curls.

BUTTTTTT,

are we really going to pretend that its not easier to care for hair that is looser? That you may not deal with as many knots and terrible tangles? 

That blowdrying is a bit easier when your pattern is looser? That your hair tends to grow a bit faster because a)the oil doesnt have a problem traveling up the hair shaft like it does with 4b hair (as much trouble I mean) b) less tangling/knotting up?

My thing is its OKAY to admit this. It's just truth (most of the time, not all of the time). You should see my girlfriends hair that is 3b/4a (they are Nigerian girls). Wow. lol

We understand they have struggles too. I'm not saying that they don't, but PLEASE let's not try to pretend some things aren't easier for them as a result of their texture.


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## song_of_serenity (Nov 5, 2011)

^ Yes, but to treat them like they are some anomaly and "don't belong" is where her video is coming from. We as naturals are all in this together, to treat someone like an outcast because they have a looser (or tighter) texture is just plain wrong when they're looking for knowledge and sisterhood like everyone else.

Yeah, I've had people make comments about my hair and how it "grew so fast" and how I can just "snatch it back in a bun like nothing" because of the texture but guess what? I've seen people on both spectrum, looser AND tighter than my own have their own share of issues. Different, but issues and both are wanting the same thing. Healthy natural hair.


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## CrissieD (Nov 5, 2011)

I love how people like to say looser textures are easier when they have never had that type of hair growing out of  thier scalp. Easier to straighten, sure but thats about it. I have 2 cousins  that I talk hair with 1 is 4a/b and 1 is 3a, my hair is basically 3c. My 4b cousin can do twists /twists outs, fros, and can got from super sleek and straight to super kinky afro. My 3a cousin's can straighten easily. Thats about it. If she wants BIG hair she has to WORK. 

Sent from my Super Kewl EVO... Please blame the phone for the typos


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## LovelyNaps26 (Nov 5, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> "Let's not act like you don't get more acceptance from men because you are﻿ light skinned with "good hair" ...Nobody should be rude to you. They should embrace you. I believe that you go through equal hair issues with maintenance and retention as well... But don't sit up there and front like society does not give you a privilege because of your light skin and hair texture. You want us to pretend like it's not there? Girl go turn on BET."
> 
> SMH at this Youtube comment.



This comment was very rude and uncalled for. However, I do remember this being said in a very similar way in that thread on the Dark Girls documentary months ago in ET and there were a lot of co-signers. Not justifying intra-racial divisiveness but acknowledging that there was preference and privilege based on phenotype as apart of this country's unfortunate history of dividing us against ourselves. 

I'm really starting to think that there is whole different group in the hair forum than in ET/OT b/c y'all are more sympathetic than I expected. Maybe b/c she's not famous. 

Anyway, yeah, the whole thing is silly. That lady was mean to snub her at the hair expo

Returns to hiatus.


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## pureebony (Nov 5, 2011)

The world we live in doesn't seem like its progressing at all.


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## whiteoleander91 (Nov 5, 2011)

I feel like people are always trying to compare apples to apples, go straight across the board.

Ex: I'm x skin color and have x curl size. I was always picked on because of it. Tangles are the bane of my existence. But because you never were picked on about your skin color and detangling isn't that hard for you, you _obviously_ have it easy.

The problem with that: Maybe the person really didn't get picked on for their hair or skin color. Maybe detangling really isn't that hard for them. Just because that is _your_ biggest/main issue and isn't for her, doesn't mean by default she has it easy. Maybe she used to get picked on for the clothes she wore in grade school. Maybe her family struggled to keep food on the table, and that was tough for her. Just because something is a big pain for _you_ to deal with and isn't for the next chick, doesn't mean life is smooth sailing. Ppl always want to compare like this when it comes to hair; detangling is hard for me, it isn't for you, wash and go's are hard for me, it isn't for you, therefore you MUST have it easy. Seriously?? Maybe you don't have a problem with breakage or split ends, but she is always having to deal with it, maybe retention is easy for you, she struggles to hold on to every inch, maybe finding products that work for your hair is super easy, but for her takes months to find just 'okay' stuff. Should she say that you have it easy, _soley_ because of that? ("she" as in random chick, no one in particular.) We all have issues! Just because I don't have yours or you don't have mine, doesn't mean either of us has it easy. We just have different problems.


----------



## CrissieD (Nov 5, 2011)

niqu92 said:


> yupyuuup one of my friends in puerto rican but she's dark skinned. at my school theres an latin american student association so she signed up and went to the 1st meeting when she went everybody just stopped and stared at her.and it wasnt until they called her name (her last name is Martinez) that everybody was like
> i dont know why hispanics try to act like there arent any dark/black hispanics..especially colombians.one of my friends is colombian and she aaalways talks about how white colombians are and how  a lot of them are blond blahbleh and then one day i  was like "...umm eileen colombia has the 3rd highest number of black people in the western hemisphere. there are more black people there than in haiti and jamaica combined."
> and you know what this fool said? "oohh yeah but they dont count" nono:




Don't count? I would love to hear her say that to FH's big black Colombian family 

Sent from my Super Kewl EVO... Please blame the phone for the typos


----------



## reeko43 (Nov 5, 2011)

My mom has 3b hair and gray green eyes and has many stories of how she went through hell because of it.  She was called a witch and people would constantly yank on her "white people hair".

My mom may not have exactly the same issues with hair as maybe a 4a/b, she just has different ones.  My mom could never wear braids or afros which she loves.  She really couldn't maintain most styles because her hair would always crawl into a cloud not long after her hair was styled.  My mother's hair is also fine so she really didn't have a lot of style options.  She got perms for many years which she said made her hair more manageable.  Mom has wished for different hair many times and would often state she was envious of how versatile she thinks my hair is.  Grass is always greener............

People should stop projecting their negative experience on others and be happy that more and more people are experiencing the beauty of natural hair regardless of type.


----------



## Dominicanatural (Nov 5, 2011)

niqu92 said:


> yupyuuup one of my friends in puerto rican but she's dark skinned. at my school theres an latin american student association so she signed up and went to the 1st meeting when she went everybody just stopped and stared at her.and it wasnt until they called her name (her last name is Martinez) that everybody was like
> i dont know why hispanics try to act like there arent any dark/black hispanics..especially colombians.one of my friends is colombian and she aaalways talks about how white colombians are and how  a lot of them are blond blahbleh and then one day i  was like "...umm eileen colombia has the 3rd highest number of black people in the western hemisphere. there are more black people there than in haiti and jamaica combined."
> and you know what this fool said? "oohh yeah but they dont count" nono:



I don't mean to steer the thread too far into another direction, but I have had a million and one experiences just like your Puerto Rican friend as a black Latina. But, I wish somebody would tell me I "don't count" either as Latina or black so that I could slap them with their own ignorance.


----------



## Qtee (Nov 5, 2011)

nappystorm said:


> Lanre1777's font is VERY familiar...



Lanre1777's comment is crazy..I mean what Perks is she talking about..was I not in the meeting when the "perks" were handed out.  Can someone point me toward the direction of these "perks"..Cause I feel jipped...I'm light and bright for no reason cause I didnt get the perks..


----------



## lovegymnasts (Nov 5, 2011)

Raine054 said:


> I feel for her but lighter skinned blacks experience favoritism among blacks and whites. That is the nature of colorism. That doesn't make any of what she experiences justified but it deserves to be acknowledged.



Yes, they do.
Without question
It is especially and blatantly evident in the adoption of children. For  seven years, I did most of the CPS adoptions for my county. Black  children are at the bottom. Most non-black families will state that they  are willing to consider any race of child, including bi-racial, except  for black. Many will look at a bi-racial child but do not want  information about a black one. Excuses are that a black child will not  be accepted in their neighborhood or they do not feel comfortable  raising a black child. If the child is light skinned with curly hair and bi-racial, it's a  different tune.
Also, a light skinned child will get more interest and homestudies submitted than a dark skinned child.
That being said a white child trumps everyone. You may get 3 or 4  homestudies for a black child but get 50 plus, easily, for a white  child.
This is the reality. 
A black child, especially a *black boy*, is more likely (by far) to remain unadopted and in the system than any other race.



Raine054 said:


> It's funny because I recently had a conversation with one of girls I tutor. She was upset that kinkier hair textures are usually excluded from natural hair ads and various print media with Zoe Saldana being touted average black girl when we know this is not the case. There has been this shift that embraces bi-racial, lighter-skinned, and racially ambiguous women as the new black and I'm wondering if other Black women feel slighted. I think Black women just want an accurate representation of our makeup to be portrayed in society.



I've felt like her for a long time. I have pointed this out in print ads, tv shows, and tv commercials to my friends and family.


----------



## discodumpling (Nov 5, 2011)

What stuck out for me was she said she's been "going through it her whole life" ya know what GET OVER YOURSELF! 

Yes I know that SOME people will treat me better because of certain physical attributes including my own family who took pride in those same attributes...but you know what you GROW UP and here is what I learned: BLACK IS BLACK IS BLACK IS BLACK...no matter where you are in the world. Hold your head high and be the QUEEN you were meant to be and KIM!!


----------



## LittleLuxe (Nov 5, 2011)

Some of the responses in this thread are kinda interesting. 

Realistically though being lighter doesn't really mean you're automatically accepted by whites, especially if you don't have a lot in common with them. Same with how 'black is black is black' isn't always true because other black girls will shun and roll their eyes at you for being 'yeller' and not black enough. 

Your hair texture is either the best or worst of both worlds. Perhaps easier to detangle but harder to do any style with, or harder to maintain straightness when you do try to flat iron. I can understand her issues if she's getting it her whole life and at a hair expo she's pretty much ignored from the second she enters the door.


----------



## WhippedButterCreme (Nov 5, 2011)

*I've felt like her for a long time. I have pointed this out in print ads, tv shows, and tv commercials to my friends and family*.[/QUOTE]

That feels good to know someone else like me feels that way  I've started doing that to BET music videos/ads/ or whatever's on tv, but usually I get tepid replies from friends or family. 

I'll say: BET/TV/THE MEDIA needs to be more representative of the actual black population.

Most responses begin or end with : Why does it matter? You're represented 

It's kind of infuriating.


----------



## Embyra (Nov 5, 2011)

texture and curl are different my hair is highly textured but i have a looser curl pattern a definite S shape

not sure why people arent seeing the difference in the two because ultimately your texture is going to have more effect on what people find ''easy'' than your CURL pattern 

My strands are medium/coarse and my density is high i can tell you this my best friend when we were kids would break out into a sweat doing my hair as she found certain challenges in my hair that she doesn't have as a 4b 

Nonie is clear example of a 4b on the board if i used her routine my hair would be TORE UP!! she uses NO oil.... NO leave in....and likes her hair BARE of products besides from her beloved scurl when he hair is out


So this so called easy crap is getting tired to me its ok to let go of your preconceived ideas on hair...


----------



## Giselle685 (Nov 5, 2011)

Her hair texture is more socially acceptable. I am 4b , I get compliments when my hair is done to suit me... However I do realize that her hair texture is more socially acceptable... Why do we ignore this?

The more people see 4b hair out and about.. I am pretty sure that what I mentioned previously will change. However , this is the case at the moment. 

The reaction she got at the expo is similar to reactions 4bers/4cers get on the daily at work, during nightlife actitivities.. Etc with a few exceptions.

Let's not walk in a cloud. 

However, the working goal of forums and expos as is to be welcoming. We are getting their slowly ..and I hope that things can change for the better for all of us.


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## dicapr (Nov 5, 2011)

Hair is individual and there is no magic curl pattern that equals "easy" hair. My niece is 3a/b/c and her hair is not easy to do at all! It may "slick back" but she always has a fuzzy halo that makes her look unkept. Her hair tangles like nobody's business. Her hair is no easier than my 4a/4b hair-I actually think it is more difficult. But then again besides SSK I don't have issues with my hair. I've never experienced long detangling sessions, my hair is not dry, and with the right products I can slick it back with the best of them. I wonder how many people who talk about how easy it is to have 3 type hair have actually had to style it on the regular basis.


----------



## LovelyNaps26 (Nov 5, 2011)

Giselle685 said:


> Her hair texture is more socially acceptable. I am 4b , I get compliments when my hair is done to suit me... However I do realize that her hair texture is more socially acceptable... Why do we ignore this?
> 
> The more people see 4b hair out and about.. I am pretty sure that what I mentioned previously will change. However , this is the case at the moment.
> 
> ...



This! Those settings especially ought to be welcoming. at a natural hair expo i just don't get why she would be treated that way. What if the founder of Kinky Curly had walked in and they didn't recognize her.

I understand the socially acceptable stuff too. I get compliments on my hair now that it's longer and easier for me to wear styles that are pinned up or that hang. I remember wearing my hair in a fro once when i was newly natural and it was like i was invisible even with all that hair...in a setting where people knew me  this was in 2005 so a bit earlier in the natural hair resurgence. See outside the natural hair comm is one thing but at an expo


----------



## Janet' (Nov 5, 2011)

The AA community has never been homogeneous...but this is a sad commentary on just how far we haven't gotten...


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## fiyahwerks (Nov 5, 2011)

She needs a hug... One of those tight grandma ones that makes you know things will be okay.

What she encountered was: Jealous is, is what jealous does... I hope she can ignore the tom foolery she ran into and keep doing her thing.


----------



## pre_medicalrulz (Nov 5, 2011)

She was really hurt. I feel so bad for her. 
I see this all the time. I even see it with natural versus relaxed heads. It's a shame. I'm relaxed and yet I follow all natural haired women techniques (i.e, trimming in sections, etc). It's the world we live in. Once you're strong enough to understand that, it becomes easier to laugh if off and keep it moving. *shrugs* Maybe it's just me but I have the tendency to laugh off everything and anything ignorant.


----------



## keepithealthy (Nov 5, 2011)

Janet' said:


> The AA community has never been homogeneous...but this is a sad commentary on just how far we haven't gotten...



^^^^THIS!!!!!^^^^...........


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## Lila25 (Nov 5, 2011)

I feel bad for her, it really hurts when your own people ostrasize you for being too dark, too light, tight curls or loose curls. As a race of people, we cannot control the way other races view us, but we can control the way we view each other..how can we ask others to respect us as a people and we have no respect for each other?

Why cry racism when we practice colorism in our own community? We have to stop this nonsense for real!


----------



## Judwill07 (Nov 5, 2011)

From watching the video, people that she encountered seem bitter and think that since her hair texture is looser she doesn't have a right to be apart of the natural hair movement.


----------



## longfroinghair (Nov 5, 2011)

I hate to be insensitive, b/c her feelings were clearly hurt...but....
How does she know their unfriendliness means they don't see her as natural?  She said They stared, whispered, and ignored her.  She had to chase a woman down for a pamphlet......

Maybe their jealous of her pretty face or light skin.  It could be they feared she would not fit in; they had no information for her because she is a loosely textured girl, so they handled it unprofessionally. That would just be really bad customer service skills. Who really knows what the problem was?    

Could she maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and make conversation to get an idea of what's going on, cause much of the video was speculation 

But if she was right, I wish she wouldn't take it personally.   That expo was just run poorly by unprofessional people.


----------



## reeko43 (Nov 5, 2011)

longfroinghair said:


> Maybe their jealous of her pretty face or light skin. It could be they feared she would not fit in; they had no information for her because she is a loosely textured girl, so they handled it unprofessionally. That would just be really bad customer service skills. Who really knows what the problem was?
> 
> Could she maybe give them the benefit of the doubt and make conversation to get an idea of what's going on, cause much of the video was speculation


 
I understand trying to give the benefit of the doubt but none of the above reasons are acceptable. When advertising the affair they should have then specified "This event is not geared toward pretty, lightskinned or loose textured women". If They felt she would not fit in or had no info for her, they should not have taken her money.


----------



## longfroinghair (Nov 5, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> I understand trying to give the benefit of the doubt but none of the above reasons are acceptable. When advertising the affair they should have then specified "This event is not geared toward pretty, lightskinned or loose textured women". If They felt she would not fit in or had no info for her, they should not have taken her money.



I agree  they were wrong no matter what their reason was.  But:
1) This is just one event, not a reflection of the natural hair community
2) You're not sure why they were rude to you...looser hair/light skin/unfriendly

So how would this prove _your loosely textured hair _cannot gain you acceptance in the _general natural hair community_ based on one event where you're not sure what the reason was?

She says:
"There is a bias about natural hair....I have problems with my natural hair too, and my journey.....They treat me as if I'm not one of them....I'm over this, I'm just over it...Black women treat me as if I'm not one of them"  And then title the video _Natural Hair Community My ***..._ erplexed  

She sounded ready to give up on the natural hair community because of the bad apples 

I think hair forums, (like Lhcf and naturallycurly), just to name a couple very much acknowledge looser textures and the problems they face.  I don't think the general natural hair community will shun her just b/c of her looser texture.  

Instead, make a video about _a bad experience_.  Cause there is lots of positive support from black naturals for those with a looser texture. The other ignorant ones, I believe are in the minority.  And if they shun you, know that the general natural hair community will have your back.


----------



## kandiekj100 (Nov 5, 2011)

I think this was the last straw for her. In the video she says that she has exeperienced all her life and one would think she'd be used to by now, but it still hurts (paraphrasing). But that was the "real world" and certainly she wouldn't be put through this same mess at a natural hair expo. Surely she'd have some reprieve there. But alas, she is met with the same ol same ol. I can understand her being upset.


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## Embyra (Nov 5, 2011)

Reminds me of taren916 when she done a similar vid......


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## wavezncurlz (Nov 5, 2011)

IMHO, it shouldn't have mattered what texture her hair is - she deserved to be treated with respect. She could have walked up in there with bone straight hair looking to transition, she could have been a white woman with a biracial child looking for information, she could have a child with 4b hair, or she could have just been looking to be accepted as part of the natural community. Bottom line, bad customer service and rudeness is uncalled for and in the end, the organizers and their vendors lost a potential customer.


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## jwhitley6 (Nov 5, 2011)

I feel bad for her...she seems genuinely hurt.  However, I will say this....I believe the natural hair movement was started for and by people with kinkier textured hair.  As far back as I can remember, people with "good hair" have BEEN sporting the natural look while people with "nappy" hair were getting  perms and jheri curls.  We didn't see many kinky textures displayed with pride after 1975. 

I think the natural hair revolution evolved to include blacks who choose not to wear there hair in it's kinky state but are chemical free. I'm wondering how we will feel when people of all racial groups who are chemical free want to be included in the natural hair community.  True, it's all natural hair but the journey is different...the level of acceptance (self and otherwise) is different. 

But anyway, I feel bad that NikkiiDior was treated badly and felt disrespected.  We can't let our personal hang-ups cause us to be rude to people...not cool.


----------



## princessnad (Nov 6, 2011)

Hmmm… I don't know.


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## cheryl26 (Nov 6, 2011)

I don't have any past experiences with hair issues in regards to black ppl praising or condemning mine but she seems rather old to be complaining about something she says she's encountered life-long, especially going to a natural hair show...I always assumed all the hype and uplift were geared towards women with 4 type hair.


----------



## LittleLuxe (Nov 6, 2011)

aquajoyice said:


> It's so stupid. All these ridiculous reasons to keep us divided. I wonder what would happen if we all came together.



We would still be getting things done as a people instead of being stalled in a cycle of growth and decline.


----------



## DDTexlaxed (Nov 6, 2011)

DaughterOfZion1 said:


> I do accept all people as part of the natural movement/group whether or not you have 3a curls or 4bcdefg curls.
> 
> BUTTTTTT,
> 
> ...




Most times this is assumed. How do we know caring for their hair is easier?


----------



## Klearli (Nov 6, 2011)

DDTexlaxed said:


> Most times this is assumed. How do we know caring for their hair is easier?



I feel like...just because it might be 'easier' doesn't make it "easy". Its kinda like shunning someone because they caught and treated their cancer at an earlier stage than someone else. They one might have endured less pain than the other, but it is still pain none the less. 

People need to chill. 

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2


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## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

jwhitley6 said:


> I think the natural hair revolution evolved to include blacks who choose not to wear there hair in it's kinky state but are chemical free. I'm wondering how we will feel when people of all racial groups who are chemical free want to be included in the natural hair community. True, it's all natural hair but the journey is different...the level of acceptance (self and otherwise) is different.


 
I would think that the natural hair revolution would include anyone who wanted to learn more about the care and appreciation for natural hair.  The problem is not just with people with kinky hair learning to love their hair in its natural state.  The problem is with a society that needs to evolve toward a more positive and broader view of what is beautiful and acceptable.  This includes AA men and women of all hair types, other races who are caring for/in a relationship with a person with a kinkier hair texture and anyone else who is supportive and want to learn more.  The Civil Rights Movement included all who supported the movement, why can't the natural hair community?

As ar as natural hair journeys levels of acceptance, I don't think anyone is in a position to generalize what people go through.  Not all 4a/b people had problems with acceptance of their hair.  Some of the people with "good" hair may have had hair acceptance issues depending on kind of hair the majority of people had in that person's life.  I have majority 3C hair but it might as well have been 5g in a family of people whose average hair types ranged from 2a - 3b. A person raised by a white family in a white neighborhood who had hair like the person in the video may be made to feel inferior.  Until we walk in someone else's shoes, we will never truly know what another person may or may not experience.


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## Chameleonchick (Nov 6, 2011)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG9shdCNxs&feature=feedu


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## Chameleonchick (Nov 6, 2011)

But who is apolonia or apallonia I don't know?? Maybe this is before my time.


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## qchelle (Nov 6, 2011)

Chameleonchick said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG9shdCNxs&feature=feedu



OMGGGGG!!!!! I'm at 3:41 and omg!!!!!!!!!!!!

ETA: wooooooooooooooo!!! She is CRAZYYY!!!


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## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

Chameleonchick said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG9shdCNxs&feature=feedu


 
Ok, that was ignorant.


----------



## LadyRaider (Nov 6, 2011)

Okay... let's unpack this. What ARE the problems of "looser textures?"

I am not 4b. I don't believe in hair typing because it is meaningless and it separates us; but I'm just adding that information to support my question. What is it that "looser textures" have so bad?


----------



## Klearli (Nov 6, 2011)

And ill say it. My sister with very fine 3b hair, and light skin (but not light enough to be teased) was praised her whole life for her hair. When my sister wears a puff, its cute. If I dare wear my hair in a natural state around certain family members, I will get snide comments, and around my grandmother? (When are you getting a perm? Why are you wearing your hair nappy now?) Whoa. My father having a rule in his house that we can't wear wigs (no woman should have one hair in the day and a different one at night, *** a protective style). But... No one would call my sisters hair nappy. She doesn't know what an ssk is. 

BUT, on the same time, my sister wants a sew in, but her hair would probably come out from the weight of the tracks. Her hair has never grown past shoulder length probably because for her whole life she wore puffs, or whatever curly style there was. While me and my other 4a sister have had hair mbl, and my other sis has had waist length hair. When 3b sis figured out her hair could be straight, she kind of ruined her curls with heat damage, and her stylist is constantly chopping her "split ends". 

But still, she can throw her hair in a neat pony tail while its in its natural state in about hmm, one second. My relaxed sister can throw her hair in a neat pony tail in about 2 secs, lol. I'm not going to say how long it takes me to put my 4a hair in a pony (if I even have enough hair for a pony since I bc'd.) 

*shrug*  

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2


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## Chameleonchick (Nov 6, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> Ok, that was ignorant.



I know what you mean, a lot of her videos are off the chain........but if you look past all of that she has some valid points. At least with what I have experienced on my own. At the same time I can see where Nikki is coming from too.


----------



## LadyRaider (Nov 6, 2011)

Here is the type of hair that is rampant in my family. My mother's hair was probably a looser, silkier curl than this. I think my mom had a pretty "easy" time with her hair. She never had to pay for relaxers, that is for sure. 

The ladies in my family with looser texture would probably just say, "Lucky me" and move on. 

I always wanted hair like my mother's. But I like mine too.  Everybody has something. Math comes easy for some people as well. Does that mean they should be whining to a math tutor?

I don't know. I just don't see why people aren't happy with what they have. Shouldn't you be thankful for blessings? No one should have been mean to her. But in the end no one really knows what they were thinking; we are just getting an interpretation based on the chip on her shoulder.


----------



## Bluetopia (Nov 6, 2011)

nzeee said:


> oh... uhm... no comment


 
o m g. that was my immediate reaction too.


----------



## song_of_serenity (Nov 6, 2011)

I can't believe her own experiences are being debated and made less than. If she was a 4b sista saying the same thing, a LOT more sympathy would be garnered. YES, I know the plight of the darkerskinned vs lighterskinned and treatment etc but for Pete's sake, stop acting like a person's life is carefree. :/


----------



## nappystorm (Nov 6, 2011)

Chameleonchick said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG9shdCNxs&feature=feedu



I'm usually Team Himay10nece but this video is a hot mess


----------



## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 6, 2011)

At first I thought she was defending her, but the more I watched it the more I realized that she was taking stabs at her throughout the video and making fun of her. "You was probably throwing that sh*t making them mad and sh*t. Witcha Apollonia hair.  (Who is Apollonia? Lol I need to google)."  Then, "Watchu mad fo? You got hair down to yo ***." Did she say that everything is already made for her, like kinky curly, and mixed chix. "It's probably something you made up in yo head. You ain't comfortable with yo blackness." Wow, I feel sorry for Nikkii having to deal with all of this hate. I hope she stays strong.


----------



## Embyra (Nov 6, 2011)

apollonia....



Uploaded with ImageShack.us


Apollonia is perhaps best known for co-starring in Prince's 1984 film Purple Rain and for having been the lead singer in the girl group Apollonia 6.


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## Janet' (Nov 6, 2011)

Apollonia is an actress from the 80s, she was Prince's counterpart in Purple Rain...she actually replaced Vanity for a short while in the group Vanity 6--it became Apollonia 6.


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## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 6, 2011)

Janet' said:


> Apollonia is an actress from the 80s, she was Prince's counterpart in Purple Rain...she actually replaced Vanity for a short while in the group Vanity 6--it became Apollonia 6.



Thanks. You girls are better than google!


----------



## Bluetopia (Nov 6, 2011)

The fact that ya'll don't know who Apollonia is just made me feel incredibly old and I'm only in my early 30's damn. erplexed


----------



## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 6, 2011)

Bluetopia said:


> The fact that ya'll don't know who Apollonia is just made me feel incredibly old and I'm only in my early 30's damn. erplexed



Well you shouldn't feel bad, I spent a good portion of my life in Haiti.  That's probably why I don't know, unless she was like some big international act.


----------



## Kn0ttyByNatur3 (Nov 6, 2011)

qchelle said:


> OMGGGGG!!!!! I'm at 3:41 and omg!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> ETA: wooooooooooooooo!!! She is CRAZYYY!!!



  @ that part, too.

 some of her videos be slaying me.


----------



## fashion87 (Nov 6, 2011)

Chameleonchick said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG9shdCNxs&feature=feedu



 I can't with her. I'm mad she's making light at this woman's distress but still .


----------



## wavezncurlz (Nov 6, 2011)

Bluetopia said:


> The fact that ya'll don't know who Apollonia is just made me feel incredibly old and I'm only in my early 30's damn. erplexed



LOL!!! I was like "who don't know Apollonia"!?!? Even youngsters watched Purple Rain right?  But Nikki doesn't even have Apollonia hair!



reeko43 said:


> I would think that the natural hair revolution would include anyone who wanted to learn more about the care and appreciation for natural hair.  The problem is not just with people with kinky hair learning to love their hair in its natural state.  The problem is with a society that needs to evolve toward a more positive and broader view of what is beautiful and acceptable.  This includes AA men and women of all hair types, other races who are caring for/in a relationship with a person with a kinkier hair texture and anyone else who is supportive and want to learn more.  The Civil Rights Movement included all who supported the movement, why can't the natural hair community?
> 
> As ar as natural hair journeys levels of acceptance, I don't think anyone is in a position to generalize what people go through.  Not all 4a/b people had problems with acceptance of their hair.  Some of the people with "good" hair may have had hair acceptance issues depending on kind of hair the majority of people had in that person's life.  I have majority 3C hair but it might as well have been 5g in a family of people whose average hair types ranged from 2a - 3b. A person raised by a white family in a white neighborhood who had hair like the person in the video may be made to feel inferior.  U*ntil we walk in someone else's shoes, we will never truly know what another person may or may not experience*.




Trust me, all kinds of "curly" girls are learning to accept their hair. If you check out the general hair board on Naturallycurly.com, you'll see all kinds of sob stories about being an outsider and abusing hair to get "good" hair.  Shoot, the chicks on the 2 board talk about having "frizzy hair" and when I look at the pics I'm helluva confused. But I'm not going to knock their experiences - I'm not in their shoes and who knows what shaped their opinions of themselves.


----------



## [email protected] (Nov 6, 2011)

I feel her pain, IF this was true. But my issue is this....
HOW DOES SHE KNOW FOR SURE THAT THIS WAS THE REAL ISSUE? She said she stayed at the function for what 20 minutes? She felt snubbed by the person at the door or somone holding pamphlets and felt others were *looking *at her. I mean was her beautiful hair and light skin the real issue? Things to consider :Was HER attitude right? what was she wearing? Did she go in expecting people to do what??? praise her hair? or shun her?  IDK. I just think 20 minutes isn't long enough for my puppie to warm up to strangers, much less get the feel for a group of women.
I mean, she may be dead on, but she might have been a bit premature in her assumptions. IDK.  It just seems a little off to me.


----------



## Lila25 (Nov 6, 2011)

"them and they"


lol!


----------



## discodumpling (Nov 6, 2011)

Still not feeling her light skin-ded  plight. The more I think I about the more i'm like pssssssh! My DH says he feels for her...HAHAHA he's light skin-ded with coolie hair and light eyes I gave him the *side eye* too!

There are things in this life of which we have no control. I LOVE that fact that black comes in sooooo many different shades, textures & FLAVOURS! My own children are representative of VERY different shades & textures of black & I can see and appreciate the beauty in them all!


----------



## Raspberry (Nov 6, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> I would think that the natural hair revolution would include anyone who wanted to learn more about the care and appreciation for natural hair.  The problem is not just with people with kinky hair learning to love their hair in its natural state.  The problem is with a society that needs to evolve toward a more positive and broader view of what is beautiful and acceptable.  This includes AA men and women of all hair types, other races who are caring for/in a relationship with a person with a kinkier hair texture and anyone else who is supportive and want to learn more.  *The Civil Rights Movement included all who supported the movement, why can't the natural hair community?*



Hmm.. this is where this discussion gets complicated.. The Civil Rights movement embraced people who supported their cause but the cause remained the same - mainly civil rights for a black people specifically. Other groups who were inspired by the Civil Rights movement created their own off-shoots - ex. Chicanos. In the same way when you start expanding a cause to include every fringe person or issue that's somewhat connected, the movement becomes diluted and eventually crippled. You need a specific singular focus to maintain effectiveness.  

The real issue when you start adding everyone to the Natural Hair Community (latinas? whites?) is that issues specific to black women with kinky hair in American society will start to be downplayed because everyone has problems, whose to say yours are worse than mine..right?  

Now how this applies to NikkiiDior in particular is not my call.. but the issue still remains..


----------



## Raspberry (Nov 6, 2011)

Many would look at the first pic and say NikkiDior is frontin and knows good and well why some black women hate on her.

The second shows she has a whole lotta hair that takes time and effort to deal with as well..


----------



## SmileyNY (Nov 6, 2011)

I think she's a little hypersensitive & insecure. Don't get me wrong... her hair is gorgeous... but it's not so extraordinary that I'd do a double take in the streets. I've probably seen thousands of girls with the same hair. I'm not understanding what all the supposed hoopla, shock, awe, & discrimination is about. 

I'm not saying no one ever hates on her hair. ANYBODY who's on a healthy hair journey is going to have "haters". A girl with a gigantic luscious *4b* wash & go can experience just as much, if not more, "shade" than she does. 

However, I'm not completely sure if her shade is always hair related... Or that there is always shadiness when she thinks there is. 

How many ladies have experienced what you thought was random shade from a random woman & just kept it moving and didn't think twice about it? *raises hand* I would like to think we all have. Most of us don't overanalyze it, jump to conclusions, and make an emotional YT video reply to "them & they". 

I feel bad b/c I think she has other emotional issues to deal with and it has very little to do with others & a lot to do with herself.   


Sent from my iPhone.


----------



## Raine054 (Nov 6, 2011)

Chameleonchick said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG9shdCNxs&feature=feedu



If you watch the entire video you'll see she's actually making some really good points. A lot of it is tongue-in-cheek. 

I love when she says "You already on the perm box, you already got mixed chicks, you got kinky curly, you got miss jessie's, they don't even cater to itches like me anymore...what are they doing to you?"


----------



## lovegymnasts (Nov 6, 2011)

Raspberry said:


> Many would look at the first pic and say NikkiDior is frontin and knows good and well why some black women hate on her.
> 
> The second shows she has a whole lotta hair that takes time and effort to deal with as well..



My only thought was...why is she detangling it dry?


----------



## cabellera (Nov 6, 2011)

We live in a system of White (light) Supremacy. It effects the entire world. In this system white (light) is the top (better/best), then anything that is half, part or some of looking  white or light is rewarded in this system. Further reward is given to those that have the "preferred" physical characteristics, smaller nose, light colorful eyes and smooth naturally straight hair.  This can produce envy from some individuals that have half, part, some or all of the features that are the counter opposite to what the system prefers. It is not that such people will all be hateful or envious, but all will be inundated with the programming of what the system prefers. Such people will consume endlessly to attain features that are preferred by the system or at least some part. Dependent on the individual or how the light vs dark dynamic is being played economically will determine what actions you'll see from the darker peoples. Profitable industries have been built because of the created since of lack in the darker people.   The Light vs Dark dynamic isn't anything new. The system's influence starts at birth and expects complete conformity,  not simply on a physical level, but mental submission is required as well. Don't believe me, that's okay. What is that saying that christians have? "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist" LOL!


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF


----------



## DDTexlaxed (Nov 6, 2011)

wavezncurlz said:


> IMHO, it shouldn't have mattered what texture her hair is - she deserved to be treated with respect. She could have walked up in there with bone straight hair looking to transition, she could have been a white woman with a biracial child looking for information, she could have a child with 4b hair, or she could have just been looking to be accepted as part of the natural community. Bottom line, bad customer service and rudeness is uncalled for and in the end, the organizers and their vendors lost a potential customer.




This is the truth right there!  It's all about the way you treat potential customers and those who may be curious about going natural. Stuff like this turn people off and deter others from supporting similar events events held in the future.  The fact is that the people sponsoring the expo treated her as a lesser person. They did not give her the services they gave the other people, according to her. So many won't understand because they never experience it. We even have hair boards that do this very same thing. The separation by hair textures runs very deep. The terms "good and "bad" hair. It's just something the natural hair community will continue to struggle with.


----------



## lovegymnasts (Nov 6, 2011)

Raine054 said:


> If you watch the entire video you'll see she's actually making some really good points. A lot of it is tongue-in-cheek.
> 
> I love when she says "You already on the perm box, you already got mixed chicks, you got kinky curly, you got miss jessie's, they don't even cater to itches like me anymore...what are they doing to you?"



I generally can't stand her videos. She is too vulgar for me but I loved this one. She had me laughing from beginning to end and yes she did have some good points. I can sympathize with ND's hurt feelings but I do recognize the realities that are out there.


----------



## [email protected] (Nov 6, 2011)

SmileyNY said:


> I think she's a little hypersensitive & insecure. Don't get me wrong... her hair is gorgeous... but it's not so extraordinary that I'd do a double take in the streets. I've probably seen thousands of girls with the same hair. I'm not understanding what all the supposed hoopla, shock, awe, & discrimination is about.
> 
> I'm not saying no one ever hates on her hair. ANYBODY who's on a healthy hair journey is going to have "haters". A girl with a gigantic luscious *4b* wash & go can experience just as much, if not more, "shade" than she does.
> 
> ...



^^^I agree. I looked at her other videos and to me she seems to be chronically melancholy about something all the time. Her hair and she is beautiful though.  I hate that (they and them) made her feel uncomfortable.


----------



## [email protected] (Nov 6, 2011)

Raine054 said:


> If you watch the entire video you'll see she's actually making some really good points. A lot of it is tongue-in-cheek.
> 
> I love when she says "You already on the perm box, you already got mixed chicks, you got kinky curly, you got miss jessie's, they don't even cater to itches like me anymore...what are they doing to you?"



yeah. If you can cover your virginal, holy ears and endure her vulgarities, she usually makes a lot of sense. She just expresses herself... very aggressively. She's straightforward and you never need to read between the lines with her.


----------



## Kirei (Nov 6, 2011)

I just think some of us are taking this hair stuff too far! It's just hair. HAIR! 

All of this drama over hair....

We need to get back in touch with reality. There are more serious problems in the world.

Not to discredit the girl but,sometimes you have to just put on your big girl panties and move past ignorance. The longer you wallow in your feelings the more wound up you will get. All black people don't hate her and she has got to get some tough skin. Life aint easy and if she is crying over hair...smh.


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## DeepBluSea (Nov 6, 2011)

What hair expo did she go to?  That was hella rude.  I would put them on blast.

Himay10nence is a fool!  I couldn't listen to the entire thing.


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## DirtyJerzeyGirly (Nov 6, 2011)

Klearli said:


> And ill say it.* My sister with very fine 3b hair, and light skin (but not light enough to be teased) was praised her whole life for her hair. When my sister wears a puff, its cute. If I dare wear my hair in a natural state around certain family members, I will get snide comments,* and around my grandmother? (When are you getting a perm? Why are you wearing your hair nappy now?) Whoa. My father having a rule in his house that we can't wear wigs (no woman should have one hair in the day and a different one at night, *** a protective style). But... *No one would call my sisters hair nappy.* She doesn't know what an ssk is.
> 
> 
> Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2



I have this issue, too. My older sis is biracial and she has the "good hair." I wouldn't go far as her being praised, but to family and friends she was always known, "As the girl or sister wit the pretty hair." My brother is very vocal about it. He hates when i wear my hair out, but doesn't say ish when my sis does. Even my mother asked my younger one time when she was about to go on an interview, "Are you sure you want to wear your hair like that?" (she had them in twists).


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## SmilingElephant (Nov 6, 2011)

Raine054 said:


> If you watch the entire video you'll see she's actually making some really good points. A lot of it is tongue-in-cheek.
> 
> I love when she says "You already on the perm box, you already got mixed chicks, you got kinky curly, you got miss jessie's, they don't even cater to itches like me anymore...what are they doing to you?"



She likes the F word

But check this out....she may have been trying to be funny about how "light skinned" chicks have that "good hurr" and how we don't need to be going to no Natural Hair events...but if you listen to her msg throughout the video...its just encouraging more of a division.

So just because i'm light skinned i don't have issues with detangling...or being natural period?

All those who think this:------> _/ and put your hand down. 

I'm sick of this whole light vs. dark crap! Okay....so it's there...but how can YOU stop it?! I don't cater to it....bc even though i'm light skinned...a dark skinned chick don't realize that i TOO recieve discrimination from whites, hispanics, asians....so you don't know until you walk in someone else's shoes.

 Our community needs to tighten up fa real.


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## empressri (Nov 6, 2011)

Everyone has their own stuff to deal with, light skin, dark skin, fat, skinny, kinky hair, coily hair, no hair, someone else's hair.

I'm not going to sit here and discount someone else's experiences nor try to downplay what they've been through cause I don't know what they've been through, nor have they been through what I've gone through.

I've had my own personal shade from members of various hair boards and whatnot that tried to tell me xyz  because my texture wasn't like theirs when THEY made threads asking for suggestions. 

You know I say to them? Screw you chick and I hope your hair falls off. Have a nice day.

There are too many things I can be doing than to worry about someone being nasty and too many nice people out there I can be socializing with instead. 

The slave @$$ mentality in our folks will NEVER go away cause that stuff is too deeply rooted, but I just can't be bothered to let other folks take me there.

Love Nikki Dior's videos though. I need to give my girl a hug.


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## niqu92 (Nov 6, 2011)

IMO every hair type has their pros and cons

on my dads side the hairtypes range from (literally) 1b-3b/c and everyones hair is very fine. my aunt has very fine 2a/b hair and its NEVER grown past her shoulders and its not like she has unhealthy hair practices because she doesnt get relaxers and she washes her hair once a week and roller sets it and does pincurls for the rest of the week. for some of my cousins, although their hair looks nice when they wash&go when they straighten it it doesnt look that good due to the fact that their hair is so fine&thin it looks very "limp" and it gets frizzy very easily and its hard for them to find products that wont weigh their hair down
my grandma always told me (back when i was natural) although my hair was nappy but i had the longest&thickest hair out of all my cousins (my natural texture is mostly 4a with some sprinkles of 3c)
none of my cousins from my dads side has had hair as long as mine, except for one, despite the fact that they all have "good hair"


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## bludaydreamer (Nov 6, 2011)

If we could ask the ladies at the hair expo why they treated Nikki Dior so badly, how many of them would even know who she is? 

I am sorry she has been discriminated against, **** I am sorry I have been discriminated against. I hope she has at least found a support system through this video.


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## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

Raspberry said:


> The real issue when you start adding everyone to the Natural Hair Community (latinas? whites?) is that issues specific to black women with kinky hair in American society will start to be downplayed because everyone has problems, whose to say yours are worse than mine..right?


 
Well, there was a Latina who was posting on here earlier this year talking about her "big chop" and the discrimination she faced being curly haired and refusing to perm in the Dominican Republic.  Her texture was looser than NikkiDior's.  I didn't see one post where someone had a problem with her claiming to be "natural".  

Not addressing you Raspberry but who sets the rules here? Only 4a/b's get to claim membership in the natural hair community?  I know full well the issues people have had regarding kinky hair but is the natural hair movement just an opportunity for 4a/b's to retaliate and further discriminate?  Someone let me know cause I don't want to have anything to do with a group like that.


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## Duff (Nov 6, 2011)

empressri said:


> Everyone has their own stuff to deal with, light skin, dark skin, fat, skinny, kinky hair, coily hair, no hair, someone else's hair.
> 
> I'm not going to sit here and discount someone else's experiences nor try to downplay what they've been through cause I don't know what they've been through, nor have they been through what I've gone through.
> 
> ...


ITA............


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## fashion87 (Nov 6, 2011)

I came back in here to say why can't we ever be on the same page with one another. It's so frustrating that something so enlightening and beautiful is being turned into a competition. 
We've all seen the positive attention being natural has created in the media and social networks. And because of that I can totally see this turning into a backlash saying that we bully our "light skinned good haired" women. Ya'll already know black women always in the heat, folks just looking for another reason to talk ish.....and where giving it to them.

Divide and conquer......remember that!


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## LadyRaider (Nov 6, 2011)

Ah, see. It's long, but that's common here. Nothing else remarkable about it. Looks like nice cottony black girl hair to me. 

She would be the one giving side eyes at my family reunion... waves AND silk texture. 

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that perhaps she had something in her teeth, or her slip was showing. Now that I've seen the photos, I don't believe her hair would be all that something to stare at at a hair show where lots of beautiful hair would be in attendance. 

I agree with Empressri - Everyone has their own battles to wage. If it's not hair then it's tummy fat. If your hair is "easier" than what's common, then thank your lucky stars that you can put that energy into some other area of your life that could use the work.


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## 10WordzOrLess (Nov 6, 2011)

**Felt bad, but LMAO'd**



Chameleonchick said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG9shdCNxs&feature=feedu


 

HIMAY10ENCE...Girl...


----------



## *Frisky* (Nov 6, 2011)

I feel bad for her and I don't doubt what she experienced is true. People assume so much about peope that have the supposed "good hair". That they only have to put water on it for it to act right, that they don't need or get relaxers, etc. So far from the truth. And I will be the first to say that all light skin people don't have 3b/3c or whatever. I sure in the heck don't and I really don't care but I think this is another thing that is assumed by alot of people. People just need to stop the madness and quit speaking on how other folks feel about being light and dark skin. Noone knows the others struggles.

I felt like reaching thru the screen on the chick. She saying Nikkii wanted attention from her videos but I think she the one that wants attention and her opinion was neither desired or required just like Himay10nence.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgz_UWvmW10&feature=related


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## LongCurlz (Nov 6, 2011)

I'm not sure if I am correct or not, but I think Nikki is from Texas and the only natural hair expo I found through Google is this one
Nappiology Expo

Natural Hair and Beauty Experience

Saturday, November 5, 2011
http://nappiology.net/?page_id=10


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## lesedi (Nov 6, 2011)

I'm conflicted


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## qchelle (Nov 6, 2011)

I've never been to a natural hair expo, but I thought that a variety of textures were represented at these gatherings?  This is what I thought based on the pics and YT vids that I've seen of them.  Was this not one of the bigger natural hair expos?  This was a lil rinky dink one?  I wouldn't expect that to happen at...say...the World Natural Hair show in Atlanta or something equally as big. 

But I feel bad for her; she seemed really hurt   Like she made the video and then cried 

I think 'having it easier' depends on what you're trying to do with your natural hair.  If you like to wear it straight most of the time (less time straightening, less SSKs to be seen on your straightened hair) or put it in a ponytail and have it be slicked down, etc, then hopefully you have a looser texture.  If you like twists (outs), braids (outs), chunky fros, microphone fros (nonie), and other styles that require your hair to be 'up' and 'hold' in place, then hopefully you have a tighter texture.  Personally, I'm trying to do the latter with MY natural hair, so I'm glad I don't have a looser texture lol.

And I think that's where the term 'good hair' came from, back in the day, after afros were played out and everyone wanted straight hair.  Loosely curly hair was good hair because it was easier to straighten or you didn't even need a relaxer (for it to be straight).  That's all.  

I do wonder why the term 'good hair' was never applied to people who could get perfect afros easily.  You know, during the black power movement, before relaxers.  Because this would mean that the people with tightly curled hair had it easier...in terms of getting an afro (and not having it be floppy, etc)...right?


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## Okay (Nov 6, 2011)

lesedi

Me too. I can see both sides. 

I feel for her and she shouldnt be treated like that because of hair, but for alot of black people hair is just not hair.. Im not going to act like a looser texture isnt easier because MOST times it is. Maybe not everytime but most times it is.


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## empressri (Nov 6, 2011)

I just want to know where all of the folks with a the heads of one side of looser curls and the other side of tighter curls are, since it's "fact" that a looser texture is easier to deal with.

Easier in terms of what exactly?

Anything can be hard to deal with if you don't know how the hell to approach it. I've met folks with the kinkiest head of hair and no complaints talking about how hard it is to deal with.


----------



## Qualitee (Nov 6, 2011)

You are _very_ simple minded if you are judging someone off their skin tone and hair texture.


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## JOI (Nov 6, 2011)

another video about nikkii smh!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKwG87KKN8U&feature=feedu


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## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 6, 2011)

Well... I looked at the pictures from the event on facebook and I saw quite a few light skinned women who seemed to be getting along just fine (I know Nikkii didn't say it was because of her color that she was getting such treatment, but it was brought up in another woman's response video and I think earlier in this thread.  So that clearly isn't the problem).  There also seems to be a light skinned woman with a looser hair curl pattern that seems quite happy....She's cheesing to the camera.  I'm starting to think that it was in Nikkii's head.  I don't think people were treating her that way because of her hair texture. I think this is something that she has carried with her, her whole life, and she needs to let it go otherwise she'll continue to be unhappy.  I mean she said she stayed there for 20 minutes?  She didn't really give it much of a chance in my opinion.  Did people really have a problem with her? Or did she let her insecurities get the best of her?  I'm not saying this type of discrimination doesn't exist, but if you go looking for something, you are going to find it.  And that goes for anything in life. Why let other people control and dominate your life like that? Take control of your own life and don't sacrifice your own happiness.  

Pictures from the event: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150441666957463.418106.510442462&type=3&l=fb03907193


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## AHeadOfCoils (Nov 6, 2011)

Chameleonchick said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG9shdCNxs&feature=feedu



She is low-key making fun of her.  She was saying that NikkiDior gets to be on the cover of a relaxer box, use KinkyCurly, Mixed Chicks, MissJessies, and that she doesn't need to go to a meet up because she has "good hair".  She also suggested that NikkiDior went to the meetup to make all the other "NaturalHairHoes" mad.


----------



## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 6, 2011)

AHeadOfCoils said:


> She is* low-key *making fun of her.  She was saying that NikkiDior gets to be on the cover of a relaxer box, use KinkyCurly, Mixed Chicks, MissJessies, and that she doesn't need to go to a meet up because she has "good hair".  She also suggested that NikkiDior went to the meetup to make all the other "NaturalHairHoes" mad.



Low key? It's pretty blatant. Lol. When I heard that Appollonia stuff, I nearly fell out of my chair!  The whole video is pure satire, and if you weren't sure about it through most the the video, once you get to the last minute, it's pretty darn obvious that she is not on Nikkii's "team"


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## Qualitee (Nov 6, 2011)

Im glad that she made this video because she is shedding light on the discrimnation against light skin naturals with looser curl patterns, but people are going to use this as a scapegoat to go off on light skin naturals with looser textures.


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## longfroinghair (Nov 6, 2011)

SmileyNY said:


> I think she's a little hypersensitive & insecure. Don't get me wrong... her hair is gorgeous... but it's not so extraordinary that I'd do a double take in the streets. I've probably seen thousands of girls with the same hair. I'm not understanding what all the supposed hoopla, shock, awe, & discrimination is about.
> 
> I'm not saying no one ever hates on her hair. ANYBODY who's on a healthy hair journey is going to have "haters". A girl with a gigantic luscious *4b* wash & go can experience just as much, if not more, "shade" than she does.
> 
> ...



Exactly.


----------



## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

JOI said:


> another video about nikkii smh!!
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKwG87KKN8U&feature=feedu


 
Is this a contest about who can respond in the most ignorant way possible? Is there a video response to NikkiDior that presents a more intelligent point of view?  These type of videos only further convince me that what NikkieDior experienced is real.  People like this who can go off like this rolling their neck and contributing to negative stereotypes about Black women can't possibly behave any better in a real life setting.


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## longfroinghair (Nov 6, 2011)

Chameleonchick said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG9shdCNxs&feature=feedu



bahhahahahahahahaha 

"I told them'n'they to stop lookin atchu"

Everybody!
Leeeeave Nikki Dior ALOONNEEE!!!!! 

This woman's insane I LOOVE ITT 

She should be doin standup


----------



## Finewine (Nov 6, 2011)

After dealing with my niece's 3 something natural bsl/midback hair I can empathize. Her hair is gorgeous and what everyone refers to as "good hair" but it takes me the same effort and time to shampoo/condish/detangle/style/dry her hair as my 4b texlaxed hair, thick bsl hair.


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## naturalmanenyc (Nov 6, 2011)

Exactly!  Even after 3 videos I'm not sure why she thinks the shade she felt was over her hair.erplexed  People throw shade randomly for a myriad of different reasons.  For all we know the woman she feels was throwing shade and ignoring her could have been pondering her grocery list.

Apparently this has a couple of people in an uproar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgz_UWvmW10&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKwG87KKN8U&feature=feedu

http://youtu.be/uhG9shdCNxs

I should add, looser curl patterns take just as much time as 4a/4b hair.  My brother's daughters have a time with their hair and have to redo it often.  I do not know many 3a, 3b, 3c textured ladies that can rock a style for a full week like I can with my 4a hair.




SmileyNY said:


> I think she's a little hypersensitive & insecure. Don't get me wrong... her hair is gorgeous... but it's not so extraordinary that I'd do a double take in the streets. I've probably seen thousands of girls with the same hair. I'm not understanding what all the supposed hoopla, shock, awe, & discrimination is about.
> 
> I'm not saying no one ever hates on her hair. ANYBODY who's on a healthy hair journey is going to have "haters". A girl with a gigantic luscious *4b* wash & go can experience just as much, if not more, "shade" than she does.
> 
> ...


----------



## Rocky91 (Nov 6, 2011)

*didn't read the whole thread*
1) that was rude and out of order what they did at the expo to ol girl. if you gon do all that, just put on the flier "4a/b true naps only" and KIM.
2) Himay10nence is ****** hilarious-she reminds me so much of a friend i have IRL. i would so hang with her she seems mad cool.
3) i wanna drop a grenade in the whole dayum "natural hair communatee" cause this **** is getting on my nerves now. gettin so extraaaa.


----------



## Raspberry (Nov 6, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> Well, there was a Latina who was posting on here earlier this year talking about her "big chop" and the discrimination she faced being curly haired and refusing to perm in the Dominican Republic.  Her texture was looser than NikkiDior's.  I didn't see one post where someone had a problem with her claiming to be "natural".
> 
> Not addressing you Raspberry but who sets the rules here? Only 4a/b's get to claim membership in the natural hair community?  I know full well the issues people have had regarding kinky hair but is the natural hair movement just an opportunity for 4a/b's to retaliate and further discriminate?  Someone let me know cause I don't want to have anything to do with a group like that.



Thank you for your response and I hear you 

Well .. my real opinion is that the term "natural hair community" sounds nice but it can't deliver everything that some folks are expecting. Chemical free hair isn't really enough to form solid community around for the large group that comprises "women of color". If you want to find support and information to take care of your chemical-free or unstraightened hair, that's great, but when it becomes more than that there's confusion.

Also after reading this thread and thinking a bit I agree with @PersuasiveBeauty and @SmileyNY that NikkiDior most likely has a lot of internal baggage she's carrying around regarding this hair/skin stuff so her perception may be off in the way she's interpreting the actions of others at the expo. It's unlikely everyone else in the room was 4b/c and darkskinned.  I mean 3 videos where she's on the verge of tears? Just extra...

ETA: Himay10nence is vulgar but she seems to mean well and I can feel where she's coming from. QueenNaturalBeauty on the other hand is straight crazy, no chaser.


----------



## aquajoyice (Nov 6, 2011)

Maybe it was because of her botched hair color at the front of her hair? IDK, just pulling straws.


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## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

Raspberry said:


> Thank you for your response and I hear you
> 
> Well .. my real opinion is that the term "natural hair community" sounds nice but it can't deliver everything that some folks are expecting. Chemical free hair isn't really enough to form solid community around for the large group that comprises "women of color". If you want to find support and information to take care of your chemical-free or unstraightened hair, that's great, but when it becomes more than that there's confusion.


 

I agree


----------



## AHeadOfCoils (Nov 6, 2011)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lbbmAe5dI&feature=feedu


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## LaughingOctopus (Nov 6, 2011)

I wish Nikki Dior gave specific examples in her vids.


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## French Rouge (Nov 6, 2011)

This whole fiasco is funny. Her video, the response videos, the PC comments, the IDGAF comments...all of it is hilarious!


----------



## LaughingOctopus (Nov 6, 2011)

AHeadOfCoils said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lbbmAe5dI&feature=feedu




Soo...lightskinned "goodhurred" women can't complain because they have what everyone else desires so much?


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## *Frisky* (Nov 6, 2011)

I just don't get why all the HOSTILITY and the need to speak on her how other folks should feel about being light skinned with "good hair"!! hahahaha  Don't they get that they look stupid for being in a uproar about somebody's else hair!! Maybe I am the dumb one but if I kept on making videos about a certain topic claiming that I didn't give a phuck one way or the other yada yada yada, I would have to use the so called therapy knowledge I claimed that I had to analyze my dam self.


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## Windsy (Nov 6, 2011)

WOW....it's just hair...smdh!!


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## JOI (Nov 6, 2011)

*Frisky* said:


> I just don't get why all the HOSTILITY and the need to speak on her how other folks should feel about being light skinned with "good hair"!! hahahaha  Don't they get that they look stupid for being in a uproar about somebody's else hair!! Maybe I am the dumb one but if I kept on making videos about a certain topic claiming that I didn't give a phuck one way or the other yada yada yada, I would have to use the so called therapy knowledge I claimed that I had to analyze my dam self.



I dont get it either, i wish they would just leave it alone. smh


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## qchelle (Nov 6, 2011)

naturalmanenyc said:


> Exactly!  Even after 3 videos I'm not sure why she thinks the shade she felt was over her hair.erplexed  People throw shade randomly for a myriad of different reasons.  For all we know the woman she feels was throwing shade and ignoring her could have been pondering her grocery list.
> 
> Apparently this has a couple of people in an uproar.
> 
> ...



Bold: is she naked?!


----------



## Lucie (Nov 6, 2011)

It seems odd that this happened at a natural hair expo. Regardless of her light skin and softer-textured hair, why would someone be so blatantly rude to her? Was it because of how she looked? Or perhaps the woman was just a jerk to begin with? If I was getting bad service, I would speak up about it. I am not saying she needed to cause a scene but if she paid her money for a seminar and a person was going out of their way not to help her that needs to be addressed. 

Also, by watching the video it seems Nikki has quite a few insecurities. I know this ain't no LOA thread but if you keep thinking about people hating on you because you have light skin with good hair, you're getting to get more of it. I hope she is able to move past this and not let anyone continue to steal her joy.


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## ontheqtrain (Nov 6, 2011)

She has beautiful hair and I am sorry she has to go through this, but to attack the whole natural community and to play the victim because one chick discriminated against her hair doesn't mean we are all are jealous of looser curlier hair and etc. We as women need to just get along. She should go to the next natural hair expo and keep rocking her beautiful hair, don't let one ignorant person bring you down.


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## knt1229 (Nov 6, 2011)

I find it peculiar that people are actually believing what Nikki Dior said. I mean come on. A hair expo has hundreds if not thousands of participants and every woman there threw shade at her because of her hair. It is very telling that folk actually believed and defended that nonsense she spoke about. That right there tells me there is a problem. And the problem is that folk expect dark skin nappy heads to be insecure, jealous and mean. But the light skin good hair girls are so sweet, innocent, and pure. There is no way she could be crazy, lying or just plain paranoid. If she claims the nappy heads are jealous then she is automatically believed and defended. 

Light skin good hair chicks ain't angels and they ain't above throwing shade, being jealous, or starting ish. Believe that!!


----------



## MrsJaiDiva (Nov 6, 2011)

Lord...at the end of the day you just gotta give the haters the finger and keep it moving!!  How you gonna sit and cry over the opinion of a stranger?  Maybe it's my Bronx attitude, but I just automatically act like "I have money....so you better give me service!"  I go into Bloomingdales, and Saks, and I don't care if those people ignore me at first...I have Money!  I snap my fingers and tell them to go run fetch!  She's too old to be acting like an insecure teenager...not everyone is going to like you, but that's OK!  Only You need to like You.

My curl pattern is very loose, even though I'm dark skinned...I had long hair growing up.  Everyone hated me.  I was crushed....even cut my hair!  But now I'm a grown woman...All the right people love me, and everyone else can kick rocks.  Why in the world should a stranger at a hair show bring your world crashing down?!


----------



## MilkChocolateOne (Nov 6, 2011)

knt1229 said:


> I find it peculiar that people are actually believing what Nikki Dior said. I mean come on. A hair expo has hundreds if not thousands of participants and every woman there threw shade at her because of her hair. It is very telling that folk actually believed and defended that nonsense she spoke about. That right there tells me there is a problem.* And the problem is that folk expect dark skin nappy heads to be insecure, jealous and mean.* But the light skin good hair girls are so sweet, innocent, and pure. There is no way she could be crazy, lying or just plain paranoid. If she claims the nappy heads are jealous then she is automatically believed and defended.
> 
> Light skin good hair chicks ain't angels and they ain't above throwing shade, being jealous, or starting ish. Believe that!!




I have noticed this too.  All dark skinned women do not walk around coveting and hating light skin.  Plenty of us do not have a color complex and we are quite comfortable in our own skin.


----------



## knt1229 (Nov 6, 2011)

MilkChocolateOne said:


> I have noticed this too. All dark skinned women do not walk around coveting and hating light skin. Plenty of us do not have a color complex and we are quite comfortable in our own skin.


 

100% agree and I quoted for emphasis.


----------



## LittleLuxe (Nov 6, 2011)

knt1229 said:


> I find it peculiar that people are actually believing what Nikki Dior said. I mean come on. A hair expo has hundreds if not thousands of participants and every woman there threw shade at her because of her hair. It is very telling that folk actually believed and defended that nonsense she spoke about. That right there tells me there is a problem. And the problem is that folk expect dark skin nappy heads to be insecure, jealous and mean. But the light skin good hair girls are so sweet, innocent, and pure. There is no way she could be crazy, lying or just plain paranoid. If she claims the nappy heads are jealous then she is automatically believed and defended.
> 
> Light skin good hair chicks ain't angels and they ain't above throwing shade, being jealous, or starting ish. Believe that!!



Is it any different from a woman posting a story about discrimination they perceived getting from a white person and dozens of women on this board immediately co-signing and supporting her?


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## RedVelvet310 (Nov 6, 2011)

I don't understand how because that woman was ignoring her she assumes that she didn't like her because of her hair.  When people assume things like this, I assume that:
a) she herself feels that she is better than you because she's light skin with curly hair, hence the reason she feels people "hate" on her
b) she must have been giving off something to that woman for her to ignore her, and she must be giving that off to others in her life

This is the 21st century having light skin and/or long hair especially in the natural hair community.. ESPECIALLY in America isn't a rarity, I refuse to believe that this is one sided and as widespread as this woman is making it out to be


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## knt1229 (Nov 6, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> Is it any different from a woman posting a story about discrimination they perceived getting from a white person and dozens of women on this board immediately co-signing and supporting her?


 
I can't relate to those threads so I stay away from them. But the few I have read I felt the same way that I feel about the Nikki Dior vid. Everyone isn't hating on your hair or skin tone whether the haters are white, black, light skin or dark skin. Sometimes, you have to do some self reflection and take responsibility for the part you played in the situation.

FWIW, I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen but I try to apply some common sense to the situation. In a room full of people ALL of them aren't going to hate you or throw shade at you or be jealous of you.


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## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

knt1229 said:


> And the problem is that folk expect dark skin nappy heads to be insecure, jealous and mean. But the light skin good hair girls are so sweet, innocent, and pure. There is no way she could be crazy, lying or just plain paranoid. If she claims the nappy heads are jealous then she is automatically believed and defended.


 
What folk have an expectation like that about dark and light people?  In all my 46 years I have heard a lot but never that one.  Is that something new?  Also, I saw the woman's video and I didn't hear her say anyone was jealous of her.  Maybe i need to watch it again.

Honestly, if a dark skinned person with tightly curled hair posted that they experienced mistreatment in any arena by anyone because of the color of their skin or their hair, I wouldn't assume they were lying.  If they were hurting I would be very disturbed at what happened and would voice my support.  I think that most here on the forum would as well.

It is too bad that we generalize people's experiences, feelings, reactions, etc.  There are people who have all kinds of bad thoughts about skin color and hair texture.  However, there are many who love and embrace all.


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## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> Is it any different from a woman posting a story about discrimination they perceived getting from a white person and dozens of women on this board immediately co-signing and supporting her?


 
Boy would I love to see this question answered!


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## knt1229 (Nov 6, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> Boy would I love to see this question answered!


 
I answered it upthread.


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## lesedi (Nov 6, 2011)

After having watched the video, I still am not sure where the proof was that people discriminated against her because of her hair type.to be honest. Cause what kind of reception does any person expect from a group of strangers minding their own business? The woman at the entrance was rude but....dang! RUDE PEOPLE EXIST:- They don't all want your hair. I feel that her automatically coming to that conclusion is slightly extra and self indulgent.  I don't dismiss that that kind of discrimination does happen though, and it is wrong. I feel that HYMEN10NENCE and Nikkii made a lot of good points.
It just highlighted how much the good hair vs bad hair thinking lives on. And to be honest, we knew that already.


----------



## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

knt1229 said:


> I can't relate to those threads so I stay away from them. But the few I have read I felt the same way that I feel about the Nikki Dior vid. Everyone isn't hating on your hair or skin tone whether the haters are white, black, light skin or dark skin. Sometimes, you have to do some self reflection and take responsibility for the part you played in the situation.
> 
> FWIW, I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen but I try to apply some common sense to the situation. In a room full of people ALL of them aren't going to hate you or throw shade at you or be jealous of you.


 
Maybe we are not watching the same video.  I didn't hear anything about everyone in the room hating or the person or being jealous of her.  You have mentioned this twice so I am getting confused.


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## knt1229 (Nov 6, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> What folk have an expectation like that about dark and light people? In all my 46 years I have heard a lot but never that one. Is that something new? Also, I saw the woman's video and I didn't hear her say anyone was jealous of her. Maybe i need to watch it again.
> 
> Honestly, if a dark skinned person with tightly curled hair posted that they experienced mistreatment in any arena by anyone because of the color of their skin or their hair, I wouldn't assume they were lying. If they were hurting I would be very disturbed at what happened and would voice my support. I think that most here on the forum would as well.
> 
> It is too bad that we generalize people's experiences, feelings, reactions, etc. There are people who have all kinds of bad thoughts about skin color and hair texture. However, there are many who love and embrace all.


Well she said someone threw shade at her because of her hair which implies some type of jealousy or hatefulness based on her hair. 

I'm not assuming she's lying but what she said doesn't make a lot of sense considering there were other light skin type 3's at the event. So what she said gives me pause and makes me think the problem is more than likely of her own making. Whether she is paranoid, has baggage from past hurts, or is just a drama queen I don't know. But it doesn't sound reasonable that folk would single her out when their were other women at the event with a similiar skin tone and hair texture.


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## RedVelvet310 (Nov 6, 2011)

lesedi said:


> After having watched the video, I still am not sure where the proof was that people discriminated against her because of her hair type.to be honest. Cause what kind of reception does any person expect from a group of strangers minding their own business? The woman at the entrance was rude but....dang! RUDE PEOPLE EXIST:- They don't all want your hair. I feel that her automatically coming to that conclusion is slightly extra and self indulgent.  I don't dismiss that that kind of discrimination does happen though, and it is wrong. I feel that HYMEN10NENCE and Nikkii made a lot of good points.
> *It just highlighted how much the good hair vs bad hair thinking lives on.* And to be honest, we knew that already.



But the question is *who is it living in?*  It's one thing for a demographic of people to have an insuperiority complex about it.. that needs addressing.  But it's another of a demographic of people to have a superiority complex about it, and fabricate this "hate"... that is not OUR (the black community's) problem.


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## knt1229 (Nov 6, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> Maybe we are not watching the same video. I didn't hear anything about everyone in the room hating or the person or being jealous of her. You have mentioned this twice so I am getting confused.


 
She said she didn't feel comfy because someone was rude to her because of her hair. She stayed 20 minutes and left. Then made a vid titled Natural Hair Community My A**. Clearly, she thinks there is general problem not just a problem with the one person.


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## lesedi (Nov 6, 2011)

RedVelvet310 said:


> But the question is *who is it living in?*  It's one thing for a demographic of people to have an insuperiority complex about it.. that needs addressing.  But it's another of a demographic of people to have a superiority complex about it, and fabricate this "hate"... that is not OUR (the black community's) problem.



I think it lives in most people in the black community (beige to navy). And definitely in the white media.


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## LittleLuxe (Nov 6, 2011)

Double post


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## LittleLuxe (Nov 6, 2011)

knt1229 said:


> I can't relate to those threads so I stay away from them. But the few I have read I felt the same way that I feel about the Nikki Dior vid. Everyone isn't hating on your hair or skin tone whether the haters are white, black, light skin or dark skin. Sometimes, you have to do some self reflection and take responsibility for the part you played in the situation.
> 
> FWIW, I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen but I try to apply some common sense to the situation. In a room full of people ALL of them aren't going to hate you or throw shade at you or be jealous of you.




In general I'd agree with this. But overall I do find something super suspect about some of the responses. If you feel this way about all threads that's fine, but if this was a YouTube vid. of a dark skinned 4a/b claiming she walked into -fill in the blank- and was snubbed or felt excluded and was used to experiencing that people would be falling over themselves to co-sign, pat her on the back, comfort her.

Because it's someone of a lighter skin tone/different texture people claim: maybe she had a stank attitude, maybe it was your bad dye job, girl NOBODY jealous of YOU, yeah take it out on the WHOLE natural community why don't you???

I'm just wondering who that's helping to be honest. Is the point that someone of a looser texture shouldn't dare express any perception of discrimination because obviously only darker/happier girls experience that? Is it that suggesting discrimination or exclusion suggests she thinks she's special/better than others? Is it that white on some level people consider people Of this texture/color to be an enemy of their own struggle? Because they have it easier, ergo they shouldn't complain...but they sure better not brag either. 

I'm just wondering. Sometimes I'm curious about some of this on a deeper level.


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## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

knt1229 said:


> She said she didn't feel comfy because someone was rude to her because of her hair. She stayed 20 minutes and left. Then made a vid titled Natural Hair Community My A**. Clearly, she thinks there is general problem not just a problem with the one person.


 

But more than one person does not mean ALL.  She also states that she has had issues leading up to this so her video wasn't just a reaction to one event.


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## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

knt1229 said:


> Well she said someone threw shade at her because of her hair which implies some type of jealousy or hatefulness based on her hair.


 
I can see where you are going but she could have been implying other things such as "this is a Black thang, you couldn't possibly understand?" or "the natural hair movement only applies to 4a-z hair, you didn't get the memo?"  I'm just saying I am not about to add or subtract from what was stated in the video.  I am definitely not about to assume that this couldn't have possibly happen to her because she is light skinned with "good hurr" and that these bright chicks are always thinking someone is jealous of them.


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## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> In general I'd agree with this. But overall I do find something super suspect about some of the responses. If you feel this way about all threads that's fine, but if this was a YouTube vid. of a dark skinned 4a/b claiming she walked into -fill in the blank- and was snubbed or felt excluded and was used to experiencing that people would be falling over themselves to co-sign, pat her on the back, comfort her.
> 
> Because it's someone of a lighter skin tone/different texture people claim: maybe she had a stank attitude, maybe it was your bad dye job, girl NOBODY jealous of YOU, yeah take it out on the WHOLE natural community why don't you???
> 
> ...


 
Thank you, thank you thank you! Excellent points and questions.  We've come a long way but we still have a long way to go...........


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## Southernbella. (Nov 6, 2011)

Not trying to start anything, but...light skinned? She's about the same color as me and I don't consider myself lightskinned. I'm just saying, I'm sure she wasn't the lightest person in the room, so I'm not ready to assume she was getting "hated on" for her skintone.

It's _possible _she got some shade for her hair, but...eh, I don't know. Let me leave this thread


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## Glamorous_chic (Nov 6, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> I think we need to remember every race has their own issues and complexes and it can manifest just as negatively and divisively.
> 
> I forgot where specifically where I read it but I recall reading in a magazine once a Chinese girl saying she was essentially happy with her appearance. But while she was content living in California she'd secretly dread going home to visit her family.
> 
> ...



yes!! exactly. my co-worker who is east indian is exactly the same. she is probably a size 2-4 and 5'1 but thinks she is fat. she is not fat by any means, but is very chest heavy, and whenever she speak or sees her family, she always works out like crazy before hand, b/c by her family/cultural standards she is told she is too fat. also she will not stay out in the sun for too long b/c she doesn't want to tan too much. when she is out in the sun, she uses spf 100 not to prevent sun cancer but so she won't tan so she won't get too dark. she has a great job, great life, debt free, living the single life and is dating, but is miserable b/c her familiy thinks she is a failure by her mother (her mom told her this) b/c she isn't married with kids at the age of 33. so i agree, every culture has its hang=ups.


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## nappystorm (Nov 6, 2011)

Southernbella. said:


> *Not trying to start anything, but...light skinned?* She's about the same color as me and I don't consider myself lightskinned. I'm just saying, I'm sure she wasn't the lightest person in the room, so I'm not ready to assume she was getting "hated on" for her skintone.
> 
> It's _possible _she got some shade for her hair, but...eh, I don't know. Let me leave this thread


I knew this was coming  But yes, many people would consider her light skinned.


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## French Rouge (Nov 6, 2011)

nappystorm said:


> I knew this was coming  But yes, many people would consider her light skinned.




I consider her light skinned. But I remember getting the same response from another poster that you gave Southernbella. when I didn't think SparklingFlame was light skinned. Just goes to show you, it is all subjective and every one does not have the same definition for light skinned.


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## Southernbella. (Nov 6, 2011)

nappystorm said:


> I knew this was coming  But yes, many people would consider her light skinned.



I didn't read the whole thread, but am I really the first person to bring this up? I'm surprised. But yeah, I think she needs more people on that one. I've never, to my knowledge, gotten any shade due to my skintone. 

I agree with previous posters...I think she has deeper issues.


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## nappystorm (Nov 6, 2011)

I'm just saying, we can be discussing Casper the Ghost and someone will come in talking about "Casper is light skinned"


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## nappystorm (Nov 6, 2011)

Southernbella. said:


> I didn't read the whole thread, but am I really the first person to bring this up? I'm surprised. But yeah, I think she needs more people on that one. I've never, to my knowledge, gotten any shade due to my skintone.
> 
> I agree with previous posters...I think she has deeper issues.



southernbella I think she was originally talking about her hair texture in the first vid but naturally her skin tone came up in the comments so she addressed it in the other 2 videos.


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## Southernbella. (Nov 6, 2011)

To be fair, though, when the point of your rant is the fact that people are hating on you because of your light skin and "good hair", I think it's only natural that people begin to question the assumptions on which that argument is based.


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## Southernbella. (Nov 6, 2011)

nappystorm said:


> @southernbella I think she was originally talking about her hair texture in the first vid but naturally her skin tone came up in the comments so she addressed it in the other 2 videos.



Oh ok. I turned the video off after a few seconds so I was going by the comments. Well, good luck to her. I hope she's able to get past all this.


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## LoveisYou (Nov 6, 2011)

are we really having this discussion in 2011??? (rolls eyes)


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## GodivaChocolate (Nov 6, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> Is this a contest about who can respond in the most ignorant way possible? Is there a video response to NikkiDior that presents a more intelligent point of view?  These type of videos only further convince me that what NikkieDior experienced is real.  People like this who can go off like this rolling their neck and contributing to negative stereotypes about Black women can't possibly behave any better in a real life setting.


I cant agree with you more. The belligerent behavior is DISGUSTING. Whether Nikki has "issues" or not seems to be the lesser issue when listening to this hate. They seem to be as insecure as they are accusing her to be. If that is her experience than who are they to minimize what she felt, whether it was just her perception or reality. I'm sure she's been thrown enough shade in her life to know when someone is coming at her sideways. I have people do this to me quite often and it gets old and tiresome. You talk a certain way, you're not black enough, you look a certain way, you think you are better or you're stuck up..you drive a particular car or live in a certain neighborhood...it never stops, some people go out of their way to project their insecurities onto those they are envious of.They key is to take it with a grain of salt and be the best you that you can be regardless of others.


----------



## nappystorm (Nov 6, 2011)

^^^I'm not going to discount her because I've personally witnessed fair skinned, curly girls bullied and beaten up on the regular because "they think they're cute". 

I think very dark skinned and very light skinned girls both face unnecessary backlash from our community and it's sad


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## French Rouge (Nov 6, 2011)

nappystorm said:


> ^^^I'm not going to discount her because I've personally witnessed fair skinned, curly girls bullied and beaten up on the regular because "they think they're cute".
> 
> I think very dark skinned and very light skinned girls both face unnecessary backlash from our community and it's sad



I'm going to be honest. I never really seen any light skin girls get marginalized due to their attributes. BUT, I don't discount a person's struggles because I have not seen it. 

I think some people don't believe things if they don't see it with their own eyes. 

Folks just need to shutup and let everybody have their rant. NikkiiDior and anyone else who wants a little space to rant has the right to do so. Including HIMAY10NENCE and the other chick. The only exception I make to this rule is KimK, because she is a famewhore (sorry I thought all threads around these parts were supposed to include KimK for the next two weeks).


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## GodivaChocolate (Nov 6, 2011)

French Rouge said:


> I'm going to be honest. I never really seen any light skin girls get marginalized due to their attributes. BUT, I don't discount a person's struggles because I have not seen it.
> 
> I think some people don't believe things if they don't see it with their own eyes.
> 
> Folks just need to shutup and let everybody have their rant. NikkiiDior and anyone else who wants a little space to rant has the right to do so. Including HIMAY10NENCE and the other chick. *The only exception I make to this rule is KimK, because she is a famewhore (sorry I thought all threads around these parts were supposed to include KimK for the next two weeks)*.


That's Funny!


----------



## LongCurlz (Nov 6, 2011)

IMO I think before she went to the event she was thinking to herself, "they probably wont accept me". Then when she got to the event any little thing that someone did seemed like they were "hating" on her. People might not have liked her because of her attitude, some people just have an uncomfortable presence about them. 

But if this was not the case than I understand her being upset and hurt by it. Most black women are not haters towards lighter women. I have came across very friendly caring people who have not disrespected me because of an physical attribute. Their are rude and mean people everywhere who are not happy with their life, I don't think she should blame it on an entire community.


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## reeko43 (Nov 6, 2011)

French Rouge said:


> I'm going to be honest. I never really seen any light skin girls get marginalized due to their attributes. BUT, I don't discount a person's struggles because I have not seen it.


 
I think the worst case of backlash toward lightskinned that I am aware of is back when I was a foster care caseworker. One of the high school girls that I worked with took part in a gang beating of a lightskinned girl with really long hair. The girls cornered her in the school library and beat her unconscious with books. They then cut most of her hair off with a pocket knife. When I asked the girl their reasons for doing this she stated "because that b thought she was all that cause of her hair. Well we took care of that!" The brutality of it never left me.


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## *Frisky* (Nov 6, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> I think the worst case of backlash toward lightskinned that I am aware of is back when I was a foster care caseworker. One of the high school girls that I worked with took part in a gang beating of a lightskinned girl with really long hair. The girls cornered her in the school library and beat her unconscious with books. They then cut most of her hair off with a pocket knife. When I asked the girl their reasons for doing this she stated "because that b thought she was all that cause of her hair. Well we took care of that!" The brutality of it never left me.


 

This is so sad. A few things happened like this where I grew up too. I had a personal experience something like this but no where near as extreme. 

Well I hope the drama settles down soon and we can go back to the regular scheduled programming hahaha


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## knt1229 (Nov 6, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> In general I'd agree with this. But overall I do find something super suspect about some of the responses. If you feel this way about all threads that's fine, but if this was a YouTube vid. of a dark skinned 4a/b claiming she walked into -fill in the blank- and was snubbed or felt excluded and was used to experiencing that people would be falling over themselves to co-sign, pat her on the back, comfort her.
> 
> Because it's someone of a lighter skin tone/different texture people claim: maybe she had a stank attitude, maybe it was your bad dye job, girl NOBODY jealous of YOU, yeah take it out on the WHOLE natural community why don't you???
> 
> ...


 
I can't speak for people I can only speak for me. And it doesn't do any good or close any type of division by playing the well what if it was a dark skin nappy head girl who said it game. All of it encourages division. 

It's a shame this woman feels as she does but as I have stated, sometimes you have to take a look at the man in the mirror whether you are type 3,4,5,6,7, etc. Constantly being offended by folk who you think are hating on you for your hair type is ridiculous and solves nothing.


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## ManeStreet (Nov 7, 2011)

EUnfortunately in high school there was a group of girls who tried to attack me at the mall. I did not know tm at all. I had never seen them or even interacted with them. I was at mcdonalds at the mall ordering food with my best friend. As we were working our way up the line I heard voices behind my cursing and talking loud but I paid no attention. Then it was getting louder and louder, saying stuff like "that 90201 wanna be bi#$$. I'm whoop her $%!, etc. I was like wow somebody is about get beat up, then it got even louder. So i indiscretely turn around and see the two girls are scowling, cursing at and talking about me. I didnt know them, i'd never seen them in my life. Thats when i realized it was about my looks (my complexion, my hair, my appearance) because they kept ranting and cursing saying "she thinks shes all that, Ima whoop her ...." So i just ignored the ignorance and my friend and i left with our food to eat elsewhere and avoid confrontation and the girls followed us, continuing to verbal assault and threaten us. I will just end the story. Theres nothing i did to those girls. I understood for some reason I embodied someone that causes them insecurity. I remember i was so hurt because i thought i just wish they could know me. i'm a sweet caring person, a good friend.


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## PersuasiveBeauty (Nov 7, 2011)

ManeStreet said:


> EUnfortunately in high school there was a group of girls who tried to attack me at the mall. I did not know tm at all. I had never seen them or even interacted with them. I was at mcdonalds at the mall ordering food with my best friend. As we were working our way up the line I heard voices behind my cursing and talking loud but I paid no attention. Then it was getting louder and louder, saying stuff like "that 90201 wanna be bi#$$. I'm whoop her $%!, etc.* I was like wow somebody is about get beat up,* then it got even louder. So i indiscretely turn around and see the two girls are scowling, cursing at and talking about me. I didnt know them, i'd never seen them in my life. Thats when i realized it was about my looks (my complexion, my hair, my appearance) because they kept ranting and cursing saying "she thinks shes all that, Ima whoop her ...." So i just ignored the ignorance and my friend and i left with our food to eat elsewhere and avoid confrontation and the girls followed us, continuing to verbal assault and threaten us. I will just end the story. Theres nothing i did to those girls.



Lol at the bolded


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## keenyme (Nov 7, 2011)

ManeStreet said:


> EUnfortunately in high school there was a group of girls who tried to attack me at the mall. I did not know tm at all. I had never seen them or even interacted with them. I was at mcdonalds at the mall ordering food with my best friend. As we were working our way up the line I heard voices behind my cursing and talking loud but I paid no attention. Then it was getting louder and louder, saying stuff like "that 90201 wanna be bi#$$. I'm whoop her $%!, etc. I was like wow somebody is about get beat up, then it got even louder. So i indiscretely turn around and see the two girls are scowling, cursing at and talking about me. I didnt know them, i'd never seen them in my life. Thats when i realized it was about my looks (my complexion, my hair, my appearance) because they kept ranting and cursing saying "she thinks shes all that, Ima whoop her ...." So i just ignored the ignorance and my friend and i left with our food to eat elsewhere and avoid confrontation and the girls followed us, continuing to verbal assault and threaten us. I will just end the story. Theres nothing i did to those girls.



i kinda wanna know how it ended


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## SmilingElephant (Nov 7, 2011)

I just wanna know.....what is really the "beauty standard" right now?

Asians using skin whiteners and scared to gain weight. 

Light skinned Black folks gettin beat up bc of their skin and hair. 

Every race is thinking straight hair is better until recently. 

But the White folks is tannin and gettin injections in certain areas. 

What is REALLY going on in the world yo?


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## knt1229 (Nov 7, 2011)

I used to have girls treat me like crap for no reason when I was growing up too. I'm not light skin and I don't have good hair. I think some chicks just like trouble and drama. I stayed away from those types. The "you think you cute" crap I heard often. I think we all can come up with some mess that happened to us that has scared us or affected us.


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## theAlist (Nov 7, 2011)

Watched all 3 of Nikki's vids.  For her to leave after 20min b/c someone ignored her lets me know that she had some issues about going in the first place.  So, maybe she shouldn't of gone period.  Then she says she felt people staring her up and down...ummm idk man.  Sounds kind like narcissism to me.

All of this could have very well happened, but it all could of been in her head too.  But personally, I find it hard to believe that out of all the women that were there, she stood out enough for so many people to stare at her and treat her different. *ye shrug*


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## [email protected] (Nov 7, 2011)

knt1229 said:


> I used to have girls treat me like crap for no reason when I was growing up too. I'm not light skin and I don't have good hair. I think some chicks just like trouble and drama. I stayed away from those types. The "you think you cute" crap I heard often. I think we all can come up with some mess that happened to us that has scared us or affected us.



Me too, especially in high school and I'm a brown girl. I think it's b/c I was very introverted, shy and quiet but not ugly and girls took that quietness to mean conceit. It happens to us all.Dark, light, brown. BTW, I definitely don't have what is considered good hair, I just always kept it styled nicely.


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## My Friend (Nov 7, 2011)

Southernbella. said:


> Oh ok. I turned the video off after a few seconds so I was going by the comments. Well, good luck to her. I hope she's able to get past all this.


 

southernbella

OT: I love your hair in your siggy  Do you have a thread, fotki, blog, etc?


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## Geminigirl (Nov 7, 2011)

Hmmm. If ol girl ain't lightskin the what is she? Tan? Brown? Dark? I mean the opposite of dark is light so I am confused? How many other descriptors do we have?

ETA- I'm seriously confused. 

excuse my typos i hate it as much as you.


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## Southernbella. (Nov 7, 2011)

My Friend said:


> @southernbella
> 
> OT: I love your hair in your siggy  Do you have a thread, fotki, blog, etc?



TY! My fotki is here (I need to update it): http://http://public.fotki.com/lauren450/


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## BostonMaria (Nov 7, 2011)

I knew she'd regret her YT video 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=BDuMU1U27nk

I feel her pain. She's better than me because I probably would have deleted my YT account.

ETA:           HIMAY10NENCE has over 12k subscribers wow!  She's making her money with her crazy rants.


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## LittleLuxe (Nov 7, 2011)

I feel for her. People may not agree with her view point but at least she was polite, didn't call anyone out their name or insult anyone.

Himay and the other dummy acted like straight fools and made me embarrassed for them. Where do you work at that you can make videos called 'light skinned hoes' and it's all gravy? Or pop up in a towel and head wrap as if the world would explode if you didnt upload your video right that second? Smh. 

I'd say they need to do better but chicks like that will never do better.


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## Curlykale (Nov 7, 2011)

if many women don't like you before you even say a thing, and you are not nasty at all, usually it's a good sign  (just kidding of course)

on a serious note: such a tricky situation, it can be full of misunderstandings and personal views, I really cannot give an opinion. I hope she feels better soon and I wish her a much happier natural hair show in the future  I would not let this one be the last one if I was her, I would delete the bad experience with a good one, *without assuming anything and without jumping to conclusions*: what if she misinterpreted things? It can happen, especially if you have some negative past experiences that influence your thoughts. She may have met some nasty people, or she may be right, *I think the issue of hair and skin is non existent if you let it be non existent, no matter who you meet.

(lol sorry I got slightly carried away with the red ink)
*


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## SheenaVee (Nov 7, 2011)

I feel for her if that's how it really happened. But she can't have been the only person at that natural hair thing with that hair type, right? So... what makes her assume her hair was the reason?


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## *Frisky* (Nov 7, 2011)

ooohhhh weee somebody dropped a dime on her! hahaha..it's funny how people take that clown suit off real quick when there is a threat to mess with they pockets

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewpqrzIb0xI


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## LittleLuxe (Nov 7, 2011)

*Frisky*

Do you know who her sponsors are by any chance? Cause I'm wondering who's supporting the woman who's half naked in some of her videos for no reason...

Also makes me wonder if High Maintenance actually works someplace because I'd send that vid to her boss/corporation in a jiffy. 

Either way, glad head wraps were pulled off and clothes were put on for this video. She's even speaking like someone with an education and...some...manners  there's hope for her yet.


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## Raspberry (Nov 7, 2011)

Wooowww.. she cleaned it up quick.

It's rare I care enough about what someone is saying online to be messin with their jobs but folks gotta be careful nowadays. Stuff like this used to be kept behind closed doors, now thousands of people across the globe can hear your nonsense within minutes.

 I'm surprised that someone who claims to own 3 businesses would take time out to act rachet on YouTube over a subject they claim to care nothing about. If you're a teenager or college student that's one thing, but as grown folks we got more at stake.


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## *Frisky* (Nov 7, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> @*Frisky*
> 
> Do you know who her sponsors are by any chance? Cause I'm wondering who's supporting the woman who's half naked in some of her videos for no reason...
> 
> ...


 
LittleLuxe

Girl I have no idea who her sponsors are but that is crazy that somebody would do that!! Yea she didn't even sound like the same person in that video. Hiymay10nence is a supervisor at her job if I am not mistaken. I often wonder about people that have decent jobs that get on youtube showing their azzz if it will ever affect their job later on down the line. Acting like that you can miss out on alot of opportunites that you may not even be aware of because some business person or company saw your video and changed their mind. I was shocked when I heard Queen said she owns 3 businesses. Once you decide to become a part of the business world, you have to conduct yourself in that manner at all times. Especially on these social forums. You have no idea who is watching and reading what you put out there.


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## LittleLuxe (Nov 7, 2011)

Right? 

Who knows if a potential client/owner of a corporation/or associate is a 'light skinned hoe'? Or etc. SMH. Okay I thought they were ignorant before but now I just think they're plain and simple dumb. ...good luck with that mess, I would not be the one to put money in either of those women's hands.


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## Raspberry (Nov 7, 2011)

Don't get me wrong, I've definitely been entertained by some YT rachetness lol but it's sobering to think of these vloggers as everyday people who have families, friends, and need to make a living.


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## MrsJaiDiva (Nov 7, 2011)

SmilingElephant said:


> I just wanna know.....*what is really the "beauty standard" right now?*
> 
> Asians using skin whiteners and scared to gain weight.
> 
> ...


 
I'd love to know this myself!!  Because really, all of it is just foolishness isn't it?  I only need to be beautiful to myself, and those who would appreciate it!  And I remember being so bogged down in insecurities, and self hatred as a teen...thinking "If I were thinner, taller, shorter, longer hair, straighter hair, curlier hair, blue eyed, green eyed, smarter, stupider, they wouldn't always be on me."  All that for people who I only see on my FB feed...if that.  And once I shook that crap off as an adult, I couldn't feed into that nonsense again if you paid me.  Who out there is universally loved?...and if that chick doesn't exist, why is everyone trying so hard to be her?!?  Why drive yourself nuts if beauty is an ephemeral fad?

Hopefully, at some point everyone can feel comfortable enough in their own skins, to not care what the insecure say or do.  I mean, that's _their_ problem, and _their_ issue.


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## SmilingElephant (Nov 7, 2011)

MrsJaiDiva said:


> I'd love to know this myself!!  Because really, all of it is just foolishness isn't it?  I only need to be beautiful to myself, and those who would appreciate it!  And I remember being so bogged down in insecurities, and self hatred as a teen...thinking "If I were thinner, taller, shorter, longer hair, straighter hair, curlier hair, blue eyed, green eyed, smarter, stupider, they wouldn't always be on me."  All that for people who I only see on my FB feed...if that.  And once I shook that crap off as an adult, I couldn't feed into that nonsense again if you paid me.  Who out there is universally loved?...and if that chick doesn't exist, why is everyone trying so hard to be her?!?  Why drive yourself nuts if beauty is an ephemeral fad?
> 
> Hopefully, at some point everyone can feel comfortable enough in their own skins, to not care what the insecure say or do.  I mean, that's _their_ problem, and _their_ issue.



I wish there was a thanks button on this app bc I completely agree!


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## discodumpling (Nov 7, 2011)

*in my West Indian dialect* TREE? TREE?? Videos she made on this? This chick needs a hug ((((huggggsssss) SISTER. If it's any comfort your facial features are African enough for your natural to be believeable...for me anyway


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## Love Always (Nov 7, 2011)

ManeStreet, sounds like you were at Plaza Bonita ? I just peeped your location and that was the hangout spot in highschool where things went down .

Anyway, it's really unfortunate that this happened to you. I knew this girl that got jumped by some girls in high school while she was in junior high because the other girls thought she was "all that" .


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## *Frisky* (Nov 7, 2011)

discodumpling said:


> *in my West Indian dialect* TREE? TREE?? Videos she made on this? This chick needs a hug ((((huggggsssss) SISTER. If it's any comfort your facial features are African enough for your natural to be believeable...for me anyway


 
You know honestly, I don't think the 3 video thing means a thing. All the videos were only 3 minutes long which in total, add up to how long an average video is. I was thinking maybe her phone only lets her do 3 or 4 minute videos. Now if she did 3, 10 minute long videos I would be like
hahahahahha


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## ms-gg (Nov 7, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> @*Frisky*
> 
> Do you know who her sponsors are by any chance? Cause I'm wondering who's supporting the woman who's half naked in some of her videos for no reason...
> *
> ...



Oh wow.  That serious that you want to get her fired huh? ohwell:


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## ManeStreet (Nov 7, 2011)

Love Always said:


> @ManeStreet, sounds like you were at Plaza Bonita ? I just peeped your location and that was the hangout spot in highschool where things went down .
> 
> Anyway, it's really unfortunate that this happened to you. I knew this girl that got jumped by some girls in high school while she was in junior high because the other girls thought she was "all that" .


 
Lol, no at that time I was living in the Bay at the time, that's where it happened.


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## ManeStreet (Nov 7, 2011)

keenyme said:


> i kinda wanna know how it ended


 
@keenyme I was on my cellphone last night when I posted and I got tired of typing on it so I wrapped the story up. so this is what happened.... 

My best friend and I left McD and as we walked through the mall we heard them behind us following us cursing and threatening me. Then they started to say demeaning things to my best friend too. She is 3 or 4 years younger than me and I always looked at her like my younger sister and I am protective of her. I could tell that it was very starting to spook her because she started walking super fast almost trying to run from them and I could tell she was shakey. I told her to go ahead and I'd catch up with her. I stopper, turned around and the girls approached me. I could tell they were surprised that I stopped and I looked them right in their eyes. 

And I said, "Hi, do I know you? 

Them, "Ah, No."

Me, "Do you know me. Because I don't think we've ever met before so why do you have a problem with me?". 

I truly said it sincerely, no attitude and not confrontational, I was really confused by the whole situation, I'm not one for violence but I'm also not going to be bullied or back me up against a wall. 

They just stood there lookin confused and looked at each other like "hmmm that's a good question". I just stood there quiet waiting for them to say something but then they just turned around and walked back the other direction and called me a Bi$#% and other names as they walked away. 

So that was the first blatant , in my face sort negative reaction I experienced based solely on how I looked. Unfortunately it happens.


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## anartist4u2001 (Nov 7, 2011)

guyanesesista said:


> It's sad that she has to be treated like that. By the way, I wonder what city she lives in? There's a natural hair expo going on right now near where I live.


 

LOL i was wondering that too because i went to one on Satuday.


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## ManeStreet (Nov 7, 2011)

PersuasiveBeauty said:


> Lol at the bolded


 
PersuasiveBeauty LOL yeah for real. They were real ignorant with it. I was like damn grab some popcorn  somebody's about to their behind whipped. It's about to be Jerry Springer up in here. So I turned around trying to see who was saying it and who they were saying it too. And it was ME.  I was so shocked, I had never seen those girls in my life. And I was so embarrassed  because the line at McDonald's was very crowded and packed with people waiting in line. Everybody in the whole restaurant could hear them. And it seemed to make them madder that I did not respond to them so they got louder and louder. Hott Mess.


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## LittleLuxe (Nov 7, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> Oh wow.  That serious that you want to get her fired huh? ohwell:



No, I don't want get her fired. However, she is an adult capable of rational thought and (I hope) evaluating her priorities. She decided she wanted to upload videos of herself acting like a stereotype and more importantly title her videos like that...So I have to assume she'd be fine with any and every one seeing those videos including an employer. 

Frankly she's setting herself up for an unemployment check, no assistance needed from me.


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## ManeStreet (Nov 7, 2011)

In the end my take on Nikki's video and High Maintenance is that people should learn to empathise with another person's hurt regardless of the circumstance. 

Nikki expressed the hurt she experienced when she didn't feel accepted by the natural hair community and other black women. 

High Maintenance expressed the hurt she experienced with being treated inferior to women with lighter skin and "good hair".

Hurt is hurt. And another person's suffering is not less than mine. And we need to learn how to embrace another people's suffering. When people can realize that, the barriers between groups can be eliminated.


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## jaiku (Nov 7, 2011)

reeko43 said:


> "Let's not act like you don't get more acceptance from men because you are﻿ light skinned with "good hair" ...Nobody should be rude to you. They should embrace you. I believe that you go through equal hair issues with maintenance and retention as well... But don't sit up there and front like society does not give you a privilege because of your light skin and hair texture. You want us to pretend like it's not there? Girl go turn on BET."
> 
> SMH at this Youtube comment.



Unfortunately, a lot of women really believe this mess. I feel sorry for them. I'm dark and my bff is light and if having guys call you yellowbone and feel like they can touch your body without your permission is a privilege than I'll pass. I have yet to see good attention directed at anyone based on color alone. Most of the time its disrespectful attention.


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## ms-gg (Nov 7, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> No, I don't want get her fired. However, she is an adult capable of rational thought and (I hope) evaluating her priorities. She decided she wanted to upload videos of herself acting like a stereotype and more importantly title her videos like that...So I have to assume she'd be fine with any and every one seeing those videos including an employer.
> 
> Frankly she's setting herself up for an unemployment check, no assistance needed from me.



And that's why I make sure I neeeeeeeeeeeever reveal where I work over the net, or even hint at it.  NEVER.


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## LittleLuxe (Nov 7, 2011)

True, but in general I'm sure you're also pretty harmless in what you say and do online. The problem with High Maintenance one is her video persona is one that can offend people, not everyone finds that form of humor amusing and everything from the cursing, to the title of the vid, to it's content is pretty divisive. 

Honestly I feel like she's focusing on the wrong target and prob. just feeding the system which pits us against one another. 

Still, I think she should be careful. Even professional comedians cross the line and lose their jobs...someone who has a real job should probably decide how much they value their YouTube fans over employment. I have no clue where she works but bosses surf YouTube too.


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## Embyra (Nov 7, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> And that's why I make sure I neeeeeeeeeeeever reveal where I work over the net, or even hint at it.  NEVER.




EXACTLY!!!!


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## Qualitee (Nov 7, 2011)

Why are people trying to make it seem like everything that happened to her is in her head? Is it because she's light skin and people wouldn't judge her negatively because of it?.._Right?_ I wasn't there, neither were any of us. So we can't _really_ put our two cents in it, but saying that it was in her head it straight up wrong. If she were a brown sista and someone said that, it would be on like donky kong Oh yeah, lighter skin sistas get it bad too. Our lives aren't roses like other people make it seem to be. People make it seem like when you are born light skin your father taking to to the highest near by mountain, hold you up in the air as high as he can and thanks God.


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## nzeee (Nov 7, 2011)

i keep coming back to this thread. it's like a bad traffic accident that i feel compelled to slow down and gawk at 

Qualitee you're right, none of us were there so we can't assume what she's saying is w/out merit but from what i've read here the majority of people are on ND's side and choose to take her words at face value. i agree with whoever said 'hurt is hurt' upthread; whatever happened doesn't matter at the end of the day -- if someone feels bad then hopefully most people will be able to empathize w/ the hurt (if not w/ the situation itself).

the point some people seemed to be making tho is that certainly ND was not _the fairest of them all_ at this expo so can she really assume any shade she received was hair-based? why would she be singled out? it's worth asking the question. if this was a friend of mine i would completely console her because she's upset and she's my friend and i care about her feelings, but i would still challenge her assumption because in this case the source of any disrespect could really be anything. caring about feelings and challenging what could be faulty assumptions are separate and because you do the latter doesn't mean you're incapable of the former.

i'm dark and therefore more likely to experience overt forms of racism (let's be real here) but holy crap, if i walked around assuming everyone who was mean to me was being racist i would not have the emotional energy to function. i'm female in a male dominated industry so same thing; if every unpleasant interaction i had w/ a man at work was assumed sexist i wouldn't show up everyday. Prejudices exist w/in everybody cuz that's the world we live in. but our skin and hair are w/ us all our lives. by the time we're through our teens we've hopefully developed some way of moving through the world w/out dwelling on minor slights. i'm genuinely surprised ND, who looks to be in her mid-late 30's, gave so much weight to what was essentially a minor interaction. she must have reason to be sad a lot; there are a lot of rude people in the world. 

also, pls don't bring up the _if ND was a dark-skinned girl she'd get more sympathy_ thing. it's insulting and irrelevant. (i know it's not just you, a bunch of other people have done it; you're just the most recent offender).


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## nzeee (Nov 7, 2011)

oh, one more thing (my previous post is already too long so i'm loathe to add to it):

unless it's theraputic, i don't think it's really necessary for people to bring up childhood or present (or your friend's childhood or current) inter-racial conflicts in this thread. 

the fact that you or your friend was attacked and beaten down because you were lightskinned or because you were dark w/ enviable hair doesn't prove this particular experience of ND's was racially based or had anything to do w/ skin or hair envy. no one is doubting people in general can be mean or that as a racial group we have reason to be screwed up and turn on each other.

but IMO it's more useful to keep this thread about this specific experience lest it turn into a light vs dark vs darks who support lights vs lights who support darks and etc. i love a fruitful debate but this is going in weird directions  and i'd like to think we're all better than that.


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## ManeStreet (Nov 7, 2011)

nzeee said:


> i keep coming back to this thread. it's like a bad traffic accident that i feel compelled to slow down and gawk at
> 
> 
> *i'm dark and therefore more likely to experience overt forms of racism* (let's be real here) but holy crap....


 
nzeee 

In response to the bolded area. I'd like to mention that racism is not most likely overtly directed to dark skinned people. Jews, asians, latinos, the irish and many other races and ethnic groups have been the target of racism and genocide and even if they are not dark-skinned. Every group is susceptible or can be the target of racism and discrimination. Overt racism is not one-dimensional or only related to skin tone.


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## nzeee (Nov 7, 2011)

yeh... ok. i honestly wasn't thinking about the racism experienced by the irish erplexed

but since we were talking about light and dark black women for the majority of this thread i thought it was safe to assume everyone would know i meant that EYE, as a very dark-skinned woman would be more likely to experience _overt forms for negative attention based on racial prejudice due to my skin tone_  as compared to a light-skinned woman. it shouldn't need to be said (but i will) that light-skinned women experience some forms of extreme prejudice as well and racism as well (and to some hardcore racist extremists there is absolutely no difference; dark or light you get hung) but there are privileges associated w/ being less dark. acknowledging privilege doesn't take away from the individual or group pain one will also experience in different contexts.

i'm dark (woe is me, whatever will i do) but there are some negative things i don't experience due to my class, education, accent, 'relative' attractiveness to some, whatever. we all have our struggles and our privileges. if everybody was able to have complete privilege alone w/out any negatives then the world and life would be too easy 

and don't nobody call me out to repeat this or show statics as proof .


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## ms-gg (Nov 7, 2011)

Can I say something?  

More than anything, in this day and age, what is a bigger issue is not really racism or colorism, but classicism.  I acknowledge that racism still does exist, racism is a real force, but what continues to plague the black community more so today in the 21st century is not how light or how dark we are, but access to resources and the ability to get ahead in this world.  

Unemployment in the AA community is 16% and they aren't discriminating based off of who is lighter than who.  There will always be people in the black community who will have personal issues with complexions within our community, at least for the foreseeable future.  But at the end of the day, we really do need to stop dividing ourselves even further off of these trivial issues.  

And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying open dialogue about the issue is divisive.  What I'm saying is that people who believe that the number one problem plaguing people of the African diaspora is what shade of brown they are, is focused on the wrong cause.


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## HappilyLiberal (Nov 8, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> And that's why I make sure I neeeeeeeeeeeever reveal where I work over the net, or even hint at it.  NEVER.




And now y'all know why I never post pics either.  Some of these folks like to take mess to real life!


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## naturalTAN (Nov 8, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> Can I say something?
> 
> More than anything, in this day and age, what is a bigger issue is not really racism or colorism, but classicism.  I acknowledge that racism still does exist, racism is a real force, but what continues to plague the black community more so today in the 21st century is not how light or how dark we are, but access to resources and the ability to get ahead in this world.
> 
> ...




@ the bolded. Actually, there is still a huge disparity. In my Race & Ethnicity class last semester, we had statistics that showed how lighter blacks are more likely to get hired, get married, etc. still in the 21st century.


----------



## naturalTAN (Nov 8, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> Oh wow.  That serious that you want to get her fired huh? ohwell:



some LHCF members need to seriously log off. it's never that serious to try and get someone fired over something that doesn't even involve you.


----------



## LittleLuxe (Nov 8, 2011)

naturalTAN said:


> some LHCF members need to seriously log off. it's never that serious to try and get someone fired over something that doesn't even involve you.



I've already explained my point and pretty clearly. People think High Maintence is funny, and that's their prerogative however you finding something funny doesn't mean everyone else should and just chalk it up to her being a comedian. I think honestly one reason I don't find it funny is because these are the results of slavery. If you can't divide them physically, you divide them mentally and her comic routine is just how that system has been created to breed resentment, pain and division. The worst part of it is that the people who have created that system barely have to make effort to enforce it because they know it's in full effect. 

Still, you're right. I, and others, shouldn't become involved in something that doesn't involve us. I might have more or less melanin than others but I can certainly adopt the position of indifference regardless of how light or dark the black woman being insulted is.


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 8, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> I've already explained my point and pretty clearly. People think High Maintence is funny, and that's their prerogative however you finding something funny doesn't mean everyone else should and just chalk it up to her being a comedian. I think honestly one reason I don't find it funny is because these are the results of slavery. If you can't divide them physically, you divide them mentally and her comic routine is just how that system has been created to breed resentment, pain and division. The worst part of it is that the people who have created that system barely have to make effort to enforce it because they know it's in full effect.
> 
> Still, you're right. I, and others, shouldn't become involved in something that doesn't involve us. I might have more or less melanin than others but I can certainly adopt the position of indifference regardless of how light or dark the black woman being insulted is.



I rarely, rarely post on here anymore, but I had to address this.

You said you wanted to get her fired for her comments.  She's not hurting anyone and I'm sure wherever she's working, they don't care about her comments about "hair".  Cause really that's all she ever talks about.  

She makes fun of everyone who takes the hair thing too seriously - relaxed, natural, weaved up - everybody.

It's not serious enough to mess with somebody's money is all I'm saying.

As far as Nikki's alleged "disrespect", well I got my own personal thoughts on that which I'm not gonna list.

Now, I'll be going back to lurk mode, but I really needed to address messin' with somebody's INCOME over hair comments and a few cuss words.  Absolutely ridiculous and petty.


----------



## LittleLuxe (Nov 8, 2011)

jada1111 said:


> You said you wanted to get her fired for her comments.  She's not hurting anyone and I'm sure wherever she's working, they don't care about her comments about "hair".  Cause really that's all she ever talks about.
> 
> It's not serious enough to mess with somebody's money is all I'm saying.
> 
> Now, I'll be going back to lurk mode, but I really needed to address messin' with somebody's INCOME over hair comments and a few cuss words.  Absolutely ridiculous and petty.



I never said I wanted to get someone fired. 

Ms-gg said 'So you want to get her fired?'. Perhaps you should have re-read my comment before you replied to me. I said I'd email her comment to her boss, and even that I can admit to saying in frustration. Still like I said earlier I'm indifferent to the subject now. Don Imus calls a group of girls 'Nappy-headed hoes' and it's terrible. She calls another group 'light-skinned hoes' and it's okay.

I can take a guess at the reasons why it's okay coming from her mouth, but really the best bet is to realize when you act a fool on the net no one is messing with your money but you.


----------



## ConstantlyDynamic (Nov 8, 2011)

naturalTAN said:


> @ the bolded. Actually, there is still a huge disparity. In my Race & Ethnicity class last semester, we had statistics that showed how lighter blacks are more likely to get hired, get married, etc. still in the 21st century.



yes! was that a sociology class? haha i've been saying that sociology etc. are important fields. i hear the phrase "to white people, we're all black" too often. we're all black to them, but they do classify us and a lighter shade elicits less of an implicit or explicit bias. colorism is real and it's not just about "oh he thinks she's fine because she's light". your shade can give you privileges and opportunities not afforded to others. 

i'm sorry- i get that light-skinned women also suffer from racism sometimes, but they don't go through nearly the same amount of obstacles that darker-skinned women do and there's always going to be a gap in communication if people don't realize that. it reminds me of poor whites who complain because they *feel *like they go through hard times just like black people and hate that we complain about a "white privilege" that they don't *feel* they have. they don't understand that white privilege has helped them when comparing them to blacks in their socioeconomic class. so again, yes she's gone through her own stuff and that needs to be acknowledged, but in the end, society will treat her better in general. i also highly doubt the people at the expo didn't accept her because i'm sure there were other 3b/3c/whatever women there. i see many of them on this board


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 8, 2011)

When Don Imus said that in all honesty (and I am not just saying this to "win" an argument), I could care less.  I have better things in life to worry about than what some random person thinks about me.  Sticks and stones, sticks and stones....


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 8, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> I never said I wanted to get someone fired.
> 
> Ms-gg said 'So you want to get her fired?'. *Perhaps you should have re-read my comment before you replied to me. I said I'd email her comment to her boss, and even that I can admit to saying in frustration.* Still like I said earlier I'm indifferent to the subject now. Don Imus calls a group of girls 'Nappy-headed hoes' and it's terrible. She calls another group 'light-skinned hoes' and it's okay.
> 
> I can take a guess at the reasons why it's okay coming from her mouth, but really the best bet is to realize when you act a fool on the net no one is messing with your money but you.



I read your original comment and your reply to Ms-egg's comment.  I know what you said.  

I have no doubt that if you knew where she worked, you would email her comments to her boss.  You know it and I know it.  You can clean it up now if you want to, but YOU SAID IT and YOU MEANT IT.

All I'm saying is that it's not that serious to get another SISTA fired from her job in this messed up economy over some stupid HAIR comments that don't concern her boss.

If anything, her boss is probably subbed to her channel anyway and probably laughs his or her *** off every time she posts something.  I'm sure HIMAY10NENCE's personality is not that much different in personal/job life than it is on the internet.

Actually, you need to ask YOURSELF why is this SERIOUS to YOU?  Why are you so "distressed" about her comments to want to see her (a black woman trying to survive in a messed up job market) on the unemployment line?

_*smh while exiting thread totally confused*_


----------



## keenyme (Nov 8, 2011)

Y'all both need to relax. Hella extra.


----------



## sweetdreams23 (Nov 8, 2011)

PersuasiveBeauty said:


> Exactly, because we are all human and we all go through our own problems in life.
> 
> I'm curious, do you think that other races go through problems like we do? Fighting each other over physical attributes?



Haven't finished reading this thread but,

I remember reading something about Koreans and issues dealing with with darker Koreans vs. porcelain white Koreans (The whiter you are the better) 

 to them, Dark is lee hyori:


----------



## LittleLuxe (Nov 8, 2011)

jada1111 said:


> I  have no doubt that if you knew where she worked, you would email her comments to her boss.  You know it and I know it.  You can clean it up now if you want to, but YOU SAID IT and YOU MEANT IT.
> 
> Actually, you need to ask YOURSELF why is this SERIOUS to YOU?  Why are you so "distressed" about her comments to want to see her (a black woman trying to survive in a messed up job market) on the unemployment line?
> 
> _*smh while exiting thread totally confused*_



Then a reply from me or further insistence you from you isn't needed is it? You've made up your mind to believe what you want about me. I'm explained myself, and very clearly, how anyone chooses to interpret it from there is out of my hands and clearly you merely want to view me as someone out to persecute her. 

Please don't dub her my SISTA in all caps because I don't claim her brand of sisterhood or her style. Now earlier you said it doesn't involve me, so the logic of now trying to exert pressure of 'SISTA' and 'fellow black woman' seems a tad convenient. Support each other in this instance, mind your business in that instance. Sorry I skipped a beat but it's a bit hard to follow the unstable rhythm. As for why it's so serious etc. etc. ...well honestly why do I need to evaluate something I already answered earlier but you instead choose to ignore and argue upon? I can admit inlet my frustration get the best of me in saying that and already have. Since you're confused you should probably confirm whatever idea you already have concerning this topic because i sadly think I'm not clarifying the confusion in the least.


----------



## liberationtheory (Nov 8, 2011)

[Posting before I read the other comments]

I think for many people (not all), embracing their natural hair is more about "ha, now I can say I'm better than someone" be it someone with a relaxer, someone that's White, someone that has "good hair" or whatever. 

I think in reality it exposes the fact that for many people, they aren't necessarily proud of who they are INDEPENDENT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S CHOICES but still coming from a place of competition, comparison, etc.

This is one of the reasons that I stopped frequenting some hair boards and had to cut some "naturals" out of my life because they got REALLY nasty with their anti-straight anti-relaxer anti-other people messages. and there is a DIFFERENCE between being pro-natural and anti-other.

You don't have to invalidate others to feel good about yourself, and too many women don't get that.


----------



## glamchick84 (Nov 8, 2011)

Black women are a trip. I tell my dh all the time, I can't stand black women (lol this is a joke, please do not stone me). They stare, hate, and always judging some damn body. Regardless, at some point or another we all will experience discrimination. That is just how it is...


----------



## DrC (Nov 8, 2011)

sweetdreams23  Are they serious?? If she were anymore lighter she'd be clear!
I honestly think people ( especially Koreans) are trying to get beyond white. The world really is obsessed with color erplexed



sweetdreams23 said:


> Haven't finished reading this thread but,
> 
> I remember reading something about Koreans and issues dealing with with darker Koreans vs. porcelain white Koreans (The whiter you are the better)
> 
> to them, Dark is lee hyori:


----------



## sweetdreams23 (Nov 8, 2011)

DrC said:


> sweetdreams23  Are they serious?? If she were anymore lighter she'd be clear!
> I honestly think people ( especially Koreans) are trying to get beyond white. The world really is obsessed with color erplexed



Yep its serious. But it seems to be changing due to Lee Hyori actually.

Here's a blog article on the topic: http://askakorean.blogspot.com/2009/08/here-comes-sun-run-away.html


"WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 05, 2009
Here Comes the Sun -- Run Away!
Dear Korean,

I noticed many Korean women do not like to sunbathe, and I noticed that many of them often wear very wide brimmed hats, and avoid getting tan in general. Is having fair and light skin a big factor in beauty for many Korean women?

Jack in California


Dear Jack,

Yes.

The Korean will even answer a follow-up question. Why do Korean beauty standards involve pearly white skin? Simple -- because dark skin means that you are one of the peasants, out in the field and working all day under the sun. Light skinned people are the nobility – they can afford to stay at home and out of the sun.

The fact that this attitude survived for so long is an indicator of how slowly people's frame of mind changes, even as the circumstances that surround those people change rapidly. Korea began industrializing in mid-1960s, and by 1970s Korea could no longer be called an agrarian society. By then the majority of the lower class of Korea no longer worked on the field, but worked in a factory indoors. To be sure, the factory workers had their own appellations to denote their low station in the society. But aversion to tanning is clearly based on the agricultural economy and field work. How long did Korea to take shed a paradigm based on its agrarian past?

Answer: between 30 and 40 years. Tanned face did not become an acceptable form of beauty until early 2000s, when this woman came along:



Her name is Lee Hyori, whose sheer force of hotness made Koreans accept that tanned skin could indeed be beautiful.

But aside from the delay in changing beauty standards in Korea, there is another level of delay that operates among Korean Americans, such as the ones that Jack saw in California. Simply put, Korean Americans have their own paradigm that either very slowly follows the paradigm of Koreans in Korea, or often does not follow at all. And the way beauty standards have been changing provides an interesting example of this phenomenon.

Take Hyori for example. For about a stretch of 3 to 5 years, she was the biggest star in Korean pop culture scene, about equivalent to Britney Spears' peak in terms of popularity and exposure. (Remember the stretch between around 1999-2002 when Spears was the only female celebrity who mattered?) Wherever you went in Korea, Hyori's (hot, hot, hot) images were plastered everywhere in the forms of TV shows, music videos and advertisements. An average Korean living in Korea, seeing such images, could slowly accept that tanned body can be beautiful as well.

But what about Koreans who live in the U.S.? Most Korean Americans immigrated to the U.S. prior to early 2000s. There has not been any massive exposure of Hyori in America. (In fact, there basically has been no exposure at all.) Korean Americans generally knew who Hyori was, but were not perfectly aware of the ground-breaking nature of her celebrity, exactly because Korean Americans did not see Hyori everywhere like Koreans in Korea did. Therefore, while Koreans in Korea moved onto a new standard of beauty, Korean Americans retained the pre-2000 standard of Korean beauty, as if being stuck in a time warp.

There will be another time to more fully discuss the "immigrant time warp", but the Korean thought this was a great example. The Korean has found that understanding the immigrant time warp is most helpful to the second generation Korean Americans who have a hard time understanding their parents. In most cases, they do not know that their parents think not just like Koreans, but more like Koreans of the 1970s (or whenever they immigrated). But more discussion on this later."

I do remember watching a youtube vlog about a girl who taught in Korea for a year, and mentioned that there still is this perception of "white is better"...but it not like how it used to be. She cancelled her youtube account though, so I can't link it to you unfortunately. erplexed


----------



## Ogoma (Nov 8, 2011)

knt1229 said:


> I find it peculiar that people are actually believing what Nikki Dior said. I mean come on. A hair expo has hundreds if not thousands of participants and every woman there threw shade at her because of her hair. It is very telling that folk actually believed and defended that nonsense she spoke about. That right there tells me there is a problem. And the problem is that folk expect dark skin nappy heads to be insecure, jealous and mean. But the light skin good hair girls are so sweet, innocent, and pure. There is no way she could be crazy, lying or just plain paranoid. If she claims the nappy heads are jealous then she is automatically believed and defended.
> 
> Light skin good hair chicks ain't angels and they ain't above throwing shade, being jealous, or starting ish. Believe that!!


I was reading these comments and wondering when the unnamed dark skinned, 4a/b/c women became the enemy. It is truly sad that this cannot be about just Nikki Dior and whomever hurt her, it became about whom we chose to sympathize with and whom we chose to vilify.

I pray for all of us to do better. We owe it everyone coming after us.


----------



## Ogoma (Nov 8, 2011)

knt1229 said:


> I can't relate to those threads so I stay away from them. But the few I have read I felt the same way that I feel about the Nikki Dior vid. Everyone isn't hating on your hair or skin tone whether the haters are white, black, light skin or dark skin. Sometimes, you have to do some self reflection and take responsibility for the part you played in the situation.
> 
> FWIW, I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen but I try to apply some common sense to the situation. In a room full of people ALL of them aren't going to hate you or throw shade at you or be jealous of you.


I live in NY and went to OK for a business meeting with a new client. I was with two white male colleagues. When we got there, the client shook both my colleagues hands and never offered his hands to me. I being a Northerner automatically assumed he was a racist and was already drafting my story to share with black, white, Asian NY friends. After the meeting, we all went out for drinks, we started chatting, and I come to find out the reason he didn't offer his hands because he considers it rude to offer your hand to a woman. This was my first trip to OK and I had been making jokes all week about how I was terrified to go there. I viewed the situation differently because of my own preconceived notions about the people I would encounter.


----------



## Ogoma (Nov 8, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> And that's why I make sure I neeeeeeeeeeeever reveal where I work over the net, or even hint at it.  NEVER.



Off topic, but your hair is lovely.


----------



## Ogoma (Nov 8, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> Can I say something?
> 
> More than anything, in this day and age, what is a bigger issue is not really racism or colorism, but classicism.  I acknowledge that racism still does exist, racism is a real force, but what continues to plague the black community more so today in the 21st century is not how light or how dark we are, but access to resources and the ability to get ahead in this world.
> 
> ...


Not related to ND or this topic, but to your comment regarding racism and classicism. 
Have you seen this study:

http://lawandgender.wordpress.com/2...xposes-colorism-in-sentencing-of-black-women/

I thought it was pretty interesting.


----------



## cami88 (Nov 8, 2011)

ManeStreet said:


> In the end my take on Nikki's video and High Maintenance is that people should learn to empathise with another person's hurt regardless of the circumstance.
> 
> Nikki expressed the hurt she experienced when she didn't feel accepted by the natural hair community and other black women.
> 
> ...



yeah, but highmaintenence expressed her hurt by mocking and taking barbs at Nikkidior. I don't understand, why cant she just say that she's upset with the way she's been treated as a dark skinned girl without making the ignorant assumption that light skinned girls don't have any problems?


----------



## Lila25 (Nov 8, 2011)

:goodnight:


----------



## Lila25 (Nov 8, 2011)

Ok, I'll try this one..


----------



## Lila25 (Nov 8, 2011)

Me in the morning...



 for us all...


----------



## naturalTAN (Nov 8, 2011)

ConstantlyDynamic said:


> yes! was that a sociology class? haha i've been saying that sociology etc. are important fields. i hear the phrase "to white people, we're all black" too often. we're all black to them, but they do classify us and a lighter shade elicits less of an implicit or explicit bias. colorism is real and it's not just about "oh he thinks she's fine because she's light". your shade can give you privileges and opportunities not afforded to others.
> 
> i'm sorry- i get that light-skinned women also suffer from racism sometimes, but they don't go through nearly the same amount of obstacles that darker-skinned women do and there's always going to be a gap in communication if people don't realize that. it reminds me of poor whites who complain because they *feel *like they go through hard times just like black people and hate that we complain about a "white privilege" that they don't *feel* they have. they don't understand that white privilege has helped them when comparing them to blacks in their socioeconomic class. so again, yes she's gone through her own stuff and that needs to be acknowledged, but in the end, society will treat her better in general. i also highly doubt the people at the expo didn't accept her because i'm sure there were other 3b/3c/whatever women there. i see many of them on this board



yes, it was a cross-listed sociology/black studies class.  and i agree with everything you said.


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 8, 2011)

Ogoma said:


> Not related to ND or this topic, but to your comment regarding racism and classicism.
> Have you seen this study:
> 
> http://lawandgender.wordpress.com/2...xposes-colorism-in-sentencing-of-black-women/
> ...



  When is Martin Luther King's dream going to finally come to fruition?  We fixing to go to hell in a hand basket in this economy and we discriminating and arguing over colors like some damn preschoolers fighting over crayolas.  We gotta do better.


----------



## Guitarhero (Nov 8, 2011)

ConstantlyDynamic said:


> . *they don't understand that white privilege has helped them when comparing them to blacks in their socioeconomic class.* so again, yes she's gone through her own stuff and that needs to be acknowledged, but in the end, *society will treat her better in general*. i also highly doubt the people at the expo didn't accept her because i'm sure there were other 3b/3c/whatever women there. i see many of them on this board



Consider that whites still see her as black and treat her accordingly, with the same walls in place to keep her from rising as high?  So somebody darker will rise a little less high...but look at the barriers against light-skin people within the Black community?  They suffer from both.


----------



## aquajoyice (Nov 9, 2011)

This thread turned into a light vs. dark debate. I thought this was loose vs. tight curls? lol Well in regards to color can you really blame the world for the color issue? We are a world of definitions. When you look in the dictionary and define light vs. dark what do you get? Good vs. Evil it's not a coincidence. But on a more positive note each has the ability to define ourselves. No matter what color. To realize the power held within all of us is to realize that nothing and no one can define you.


----------



## Beautytalk69 (Nov 9, 2011)

I don't feel sorry for her. I believe she did all this for views. Am I the only one who caught that smirk at the end of her first video? Also I do believe blk women with looser texture hair have it way easier. E stone me all u want.


----------



## LongCurlz (Nov 9, 2011)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu


----------



## Qualitee (Nov 9, 2011)




----------



## nappystorm (Nov 9, 2011)

LongCurlz said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu



OH EM GEE!!!  

 Himay10ence!!!


----------



## SmileyNY (Nov 9, 2011)

LongCurlz said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu



.....

  






  

  


Sent from my iPhone.


----------



## LongCurlz (Nov 9, 2011)

when I saw the vid I was like then I


----------



## Roux (Nov 9, 2011)

wah wah wah. cry me a freaking river. everyone needs to sit down and quit whining.


----------



## MyInvisibleChyrsalis (Nov 9, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> I think we need to remember every race has their own issues and complexes and it can manifest just as negatively and divisively.
> 
> I forgot where specifically where I read it but I recall reading in a magazine once a Chinese girl saying she was essentially happy with her appearance. But while she was content living in California she'd secretly dread going home to visit her family.
> 
> ...


 
Completely ot and I'm sorry, but I had to comment on this, lol. My husband's best friend is Korean. He takes us to these AWESOME Korean restaurants whenever he comes to visit us.  So while we were properly DESTROYING the food, He motions for our server to come over. In Korean he ordered us another round. The look on the servers face was priceless. He quickly spt something out back to our friend and they had this really quick weird dialogue and then the server wakled away. We were like, "The crap was that about?" and he told us the server thought we were gluttons for eating so much but he'll put the order through. The asians weight game is on a whole 'nother level.


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## ms-gg (Nov 9, 2011)

WOW


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## LittleLuxe (Nov 9, 2011)

Are all her YouTube vids so angry? And how many minutes did she devote to...well it's not really lying when you whole heartedly believe something someone lied to you about. In any case she is right, she's a flavor not meant for all, for the folks who like her though she is good at...doing what she does. For everyone else the best bet is to avoid the assault.


----------



## LittleLuxe (Nov 9, 2011)

Msmchy said:


> The asians weight game is on a whole 'nother level.



No joke. I felt for the girl because I think the whole culture shock issue of being really comfortable most of the time and then having to deal with the perception of her family and that judgement the rest of the time.


----------



## Okay (Nov 9, 2011)

Dang! LOL.

I find it hard to take a grown woman who talks like that seriously though...


----------



## hairsothick (Nov 9, 2011)

*Sponge Bob laugh*


----------



## dachsies_rule! (Nov 9, 2011)

LongCurlz said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu


 
*Mmmm-hmmm...folks gonna learn to keep her name out they mouth!*


----------



## keenyme (Nov 9, 2011)

ppl on the internet are so freakin extra. what kind of punk a$$, p*ssy a$$, mark a$$ sh*t id that to go running behind ppl to PM them about something that someone else said?! is this high school? it wasn't that serious to get himay10nence fired, but it was serious enough to give out ppl's personal info?! the ****?!

grown a$$ ppl turn into some 12 yr olds when they turn on their computer... smh.


----------



## AHeadOfCoils (Nov 9, 2011)

So my question is, who on here is giving out people's personal information?  Show yourself!


----------



## niqu92 (Nov 9, 2011)

LongCurlz said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu





LittleLuxe said:


> Are all her YouTube vids so angry? And how many minutes did she devote to...well it's not really lying when you whole heartedly believe something someone lied to you about. In any case she is right, she's a flavor not meant for all, for the folks who like her though she is good at...doing what she does. For everyone else the best bet is to avoid the assault.


----------



## cami88 (Nov 9, 2011)

AHeadOfCoils said:


> So my question is, who on here is giving out people's personal information? Show yourself!


 

Yeah, that is really, REALLY messed up. 

It's really f*cked up that people were railing against her job being contacted, but then run and pm the girl's personal info to highmaintenence.

But this highmaintenence chick is just....so void of any class. I wonder what she does because I can't see her working in any professional type setting. She reminds me of one of those beligerent teenagers who thinks that just because someone says something to or about them, they've got to go off on the person.

And why does she care so much about what strangers on the internet have to say about her.


----------



## knt1229 (Nov 9, 2011)

^^^Well when those strangers are threatening her livelihood I think she has a right to say something about it.


----------



## Raine054 (Nov 9, 2011)

A line was crossed. Threatening the livelihood of a stranger is irresponsible.


----------



## tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT (Nov 9, 2011)

> ppl on the internet are so freakin extra. *what kind of punk a$$, p*ssy a$$, mark a$$ sh*t id that to go running behind ppl to PM them* about something that someone else said?! is this high school? it wasn't that serious to get himay10nence fired, but it was serious enough to give out ppl's personal info?! the ****?!
> 
> grown a$$ ppl turn into some 12 yr olds when they turn on their computer... smh.



*WELL DAMNNN!!!!*






(i think i love this girl)


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## Guitarhero (Nov 9, 2011)

Somebody got fired????  Dang...there are nearly 300 posts....


----------



## DrC (Nov 9, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> Are all her YouTube vids so angry? And how many minutes did she devote to...well it's not really lying when you whole heartedly believe something someone lied to you about. In any case she is right, she's a flavor not meant for all, for the folks who like her though she is good at...doing what she does. *For everyone else the best bet is to avoid the assault*.



Speak for yourself babes   *KanyeShrug*


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 9, 2011)

Guitarhero said:


> Somebody got fired????  Dang...there are nearly 300 posts....



Yeah girl, that non-pamphlet passing girl at the natural hair expo got the boot.  Let me stop spreading rumors up in here...


----------



## DrC (Nov 9, 2011)

Off topic but....



jada1111 said:


> I read your original comment and your reply to* Ms-egg's* comment. ----



Ms-eggs?   jada1111


----------



## justicefighter1913 (Nov 9, 2011)

cami88 said:


> Yeah, that is really, REALLY messed up.
> 
> It's really f*cked up that people were railing against her job being contacted, but then run and pm the girl's personal info to highmaintenence.
> 
> ...


 
B/c thank you simply wasn't enough.  Total lack of class....


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 9, 2011)

DrC said:


> Off topic but....
> 
> 
> 
> Ms-eggs?   @jada1111






I know right?!!  I couldn't help but laugh when I saw that jawn.


----------



## Kn0ttyByNatur3 (Nov 9, 2011)

Sh!t just got real in HIMAY10NENCE video...this is why stay in my line and dun mess wiff people. 


*still happily suscribed to her, tho*


----------



## nappystorm (Nov 9, 2011)

Guitarhero said:


> Somebody got fired????  Dang...there are nearly 300 posts....





ms-gg said:


> Yeah girl, that non-pamphlet passing girl at the natural hair expo got the boot.  Let me stop spreading rumors up in here...



Guitarhero ms-gg Really?? Give us the tea, post lanks or something ladies!!


----------



## Raspberry (Nov 9, 2011)

LongCurlz said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 9, 2011)

nappystorm said:


> @Guitarhero @ms-gg Really?? Give us the tea, post lanks or something ladies!!




Naw, I was full of ish and just messing with her since she didn't know what was going on with Himay10nence erplexed


----------



## kblc06 (Nov 9, 2011)

GIFSoup



Man, this  sh*t cray, this sh*t cray

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2q3K3gcQfdk


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 10, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> I know right?!!  I couldn't help but laugh when I saw that jawn.



LOL!  Sorry about that Ms-GG, but I was in a rush when I was posting.

I really wanted to comment the first time I read her post about sending the links to her job, but I said nah, stay quiet.  Not important.  It's only when she denied saying it that I felt the need to respond.  

See, I know what it's like to be unemployed and not knowing where your next dollar is coming from.  Struggling to make things happen and trying to control your sanity until things improve.  Having to choose between buying food and toiletries is not a pleasant experience.  I'm sure there are plenty of members on LHCF that are either going through the same thing or know people that are and probably in much worse ways.  

The only good thing that came out of that experience was being forced to find cheap hair products to use and it curbed my PJ ways. 

So to read how this poster wanted to see this woman get fired over some internet comments that didn't even concern her was too much for me.  Like seriously, how dare you?

Then some people are saying that Himay10nence is not "classy" or "deviod of all class" all because of a few cuss words and derogatory comments (that again does NOT concern YOU), but I guess trying to get another black woman fired from her job in this economy is the definition of "classy"?

If so, then you can keep your "classy" and consider me "devoid of all class" as well cause I consider that mess the ultimate in foul.  Just plain evil.

The worst part about it is Himay10nence made a youtube video commenting on a drama queen's "not getting a pamphlet and goody bag" at a nappy hair event cause "allegedly" the other naturals (4s) were looking her and down and making her feel not a part of the "sisterhood". _*rolls eyes*_  Homegirl didn't just make ONE video about it, she had to make THREE all detailing this so called "disrespect" she's had to deal with "all her life".  _*violins playin*_

Himay10nence may not be YOUR cup of tea and "not your type of sista", but she's MINE and obviously many others as well since people are sending her info on the poster who wants to get her fired.  

Threatening to mess with people's money for trivial crap will catch you a bunch of enemies and sideyes, especially if said person is BLACK (regardless of whose type of "sista" she is).


----------



## anartist4u2001 (Nov 10, 2011)

LongCurlz said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu


 

LOL she is a mess chile!!!


----------



## justicefighter1913 (Nov 10, 2011)

jada1111: I agree with some of the points that you have articulated in regards to manipulating someones job situation.  However, in regards to the comments relating to her "lack of class": this video isn't this chicks first ride at this rodeo. I think we can  both agree that  her videos include tirades in which she uses more than a "few" curse words.  These tirades, combined with the fact that she can't/won't formulate a sentence without cursing, sucking her teeth, among other things, comes off as lacking some sort of normalcy, etiquette , and decorum i.e. class.  I get that these youtube videos may be one of her schticks.....but I think they're too much.  And yes, I know I don't have to watch her videos and believe me, I generally don't, but the thread piqued my interest.

Sent from my DROIDX using DROIDX


----------



## MizzBrown (Nov 10, 2011)

Yall gettin people fired now? You'd turn the video in because you didn't like what they said?

Oh my gosh..I can't. When you don't like someone enough to the point where you don't want them to EAT?...and you've never met them and probably live on the other side of the damn country...

jada1111 where you been at?  I see that really pissed you off.


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 10, 2011)

justicefighter1913 said:


> jada1111: I agree with some of the points that you have articulated in regards to manipulating someones job situation.  However, in regards to the comments relating to her "lack of class": this video isn't this chicks first ride at this rodeo. I think we can  both agree that  her videos include tirades in which she uses more than a "few" curse words.  These tirades, combined with the fact that she can't/won't formulate a sentence without cursing, sucking her teeth, among other things, comes off as lacking some sort of normalcy, etiquette , and decorum i.e. class.  I get that these youtube videos may be one of her schticks.....but I think they're too much.  And yes, I know I don't have to watch her videos and believe me, I generally don't, but the thread piqued my interest.
> 
> Sent from my DROIDX using DROIDX



I completely understand that.  Himay10nence isn't for everyone, but you also didn't threaten to send her videos  to her job in an attempt to get her fired either.  

It's one thing not to like somebody's vids, it's another to threaten their livelihood just cause you find them "beneath" you (not referring to you justicefighter).

Sour puss drama queen crybabies bother me more than someone like Himay10nence ever could, but others may love that type of personality and it's cool.  There's someone for everyone on youtube.


----------



## empressri (Nov 10, 2011)

There's but so many b*tches and f**ks and sh*ts I can take so I had to turn that video off but did she say she got fired???

I got the gist that folks from here (if it aint drama it's not lhcf) sent her messages about this thread and she was talking about it at work and her boss asked her about it and she showed him her youtube videos.

I didn't hear anything about someone sending folks personal info or getting anyone fired.

Now like I said I couldn't watch the video till the end BUT...to end all of the speculation where does she say she got fired?


----------



## aquajoyice (Nov 10, 2011)

I know they aren't messing with Himay?! She speaks her mind and I can respect that. I find her refreshing in a world where most turn up their noses at others like their 'ish don't stank.


----------



## longfroinghair (Nov 10, 2011)

LongCurlz said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu



Mmmmmhmmm  You wanna tell her boss???? 

Go ahead.


HE_ ALREADY _KNOE!!!!


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 10, 2011)

MizzBrown said:


> Yall gettin people fired now? You'd turn the video in because you didn't like what they said?
> 
> Oh my gosh..I can't. When you don't like someone enough to the point where you don't want them to EAT?...and you've never met them and probably live on the other side of the damn country...
> 
> *jada1111 where you been at?  I see that really pissed you off.*



Hey Mizz Brown! I still lurk every and now then.  I remember when LHCF first got started and it has grown into a really great board.  There are some excellent forums here with info you can't find anywhere else.  I make sure that my $6.50 is ALWAYS paid. lol

Yeah, the part about wanting to get Himay10nence fired because of being "devoid of class and vulgar" really bothered me cause the woman is doing HER.  If you don't like her or what she has to say, then don't watch.  The funny thing is, if you were to substitute a gay man in her place, then everyone would LOVE her to pieces!

It's only cause she's a woman talking and acting the way she does that there is a problem.  The woman is super funny and like she said, her EMPLOYER already KNOWS what she does and doesn't have a problem with it.

It's messed up that she knows almost everything about the poster who wanted to get her fired all because of her "ghettoness".  Says a lot about THAT person, doesn't it?

God don't like ugly, but he sure loves himself some Himay10nence! LMAO!!


----------



## anartist4u2001 (Nov 10, 2011)

wow guys, lets calm down ok!


----------



## keenyme (Nov 10, 2011)

empressri said:


> There's but so many b*tches and f**ks and sh*ts I can take so I had to turn that video off but did she say she got fired???
> 
> I got the gist that folks from here (if it aint drama it's not lhcf) sent her messages about this thread and she was talking about it at work and her boss asked her about it and she showed him her youtube videos.
> 
> ...


she didnt get fired. she said her boss already knows about the channel and is cool w/ it (i didnt even know that ppl could get fired for stuff like this... i aint ready to live in the real world yet lol). she said that ppl were PMing her about the poster in this thread who said theyd send her info to her job, and some trick a$$, triflin a$$ punk gave himay10nence all of the posters personal info (in case she was fired).

i feel like the poster already said that she wouldnt actually do it (whether you believe her or not...), so leave the situation alone. wtf are you causing more drama and doing high school sh*t for?!

no one should be involving themselves in ppl's real lives over some internet drama. unles there's something illegal going on, it will NEVER be that serious.


----------



## longfroinghair (Nov 10, 2011)

empressri said:


> There's but so many b*tches and f**ks and sh*ts I can take so I had to turn that video off but did she say she got fired???
> 
> I got the gist that folks from here (if it aint drama it's not lhcf) sent her messages about this thread and she was talking about it at work and her boss asked her about it and she showed him her youtube videos.
> 
> ...



The Gist:
Someone from lhcf (Girl A) said to Himay that her stereotypical behavior is not right.  She threatened to send the video to her boss...I *think* she even said  himay could end up unemployed after the boss gets a hold of her YT channel/videos.

Himay's Response?

1) Her boss and her coworkers _already know_ what she does on youtube.

2) Someone else from lhcf (Girl B) ratted out the first girl (Girl A) to warn Himmay that someone wants to get her fired.  Then Girl B gives Himay Girl A's information (where she lives etc).  And Himay basically says "your lhcf homegirl ratted you out, stop trying to mess with me"

No one got fired.


----------



## empressri (Nov 10, 2011)

it's like high school all over again!

Back to the makeup board I go. I've yet to hear of lipgloss starting e-beef.


----------



## silenttullip (Nov 10, 2011)

I knew it was all down hill when nikki posted the very first YouTube video
I really think this one should go to thread cremation and we can all return to our regularly scheduled lives and love of hair


----------



## My Friend (Nov 10, 2011)

This thread needs a good ole fashion negro spiritual 


Waaaaaade in the water.....waaaaaaaaaade in the water chilren......


----------



## longfroinghair (Nov 10, 2011)

My Friend said:


> This thread needs a good ole fashion negro spiritual
> 
> 
> Waaaaaade in the water.....waaaaaaaaaade in the water chilren......



Hahahahahahaha


----------



## anartist4u2001 (Nov 10, 2011)

My Friend said:


> This thread needs a good ole fashion negro spiritual
> 
> 
> Waaaaaade in the water.....waaaaaaaaaade in the water chilren......


 

haha


----------



## DrC (Nov 10, 2011)

My Friend said:


> This thread needs a good ole fashion negro spiritual
> 
> 
> Waaaaaade in the water.....waaaaaaaaaade in the water chilren......


----------



## cami88 (Nov 10, 2011)

jada1111 said:


> LOL! Sorry about that Ms-GG, but I was in a rush when I was posting.
> 
> I really wanted to comment the first time I read her post about sending the links to her job, but I said nah, stay quiet. Not important. It's only when she denied saying it that I felt the need to respond.
> 
> ...


 

Okay, littlelux (who, I think is the one that brought up the whole thing about employment) did NOT do anything to try and get highmaintenence fired from her job. Damn, the rumor mill sure is at work, this is like a game of telephone. I can't find the post, but she said something like "i wonder where she works, I'd send this to her employer in a heartbeat". That was IT. Now, people on here are making it sound like she called up her job or some sh*t. 

And yes, Highmaintanence is totally classless. Obviously, nobody knows where she works to even get to call her boss up or anything so that 10 minute tirade going off on a stranger on the internet who has no way of affecting your life whatsover is completely trashy. Her mouth is filthy and she ought to be embarressed about the tripe she is putting out on the internet for all to see.

ETA: Damn, I'm reading thru the last page and it's like...this story has spiraled out of control. The girl DID NOT threaten to send the videos to her job. She did not say she was going to do that. I don't remember what her exact words were, but people are making it sound like she was looking thru trying to find where highmay works and sh*t--that was NOT the case. And *I* am the one that said she is void of any class or couth. NOT the person who made the comment about the job. And I stand by it. She is. I mean, come on, how many times did she say 'cum swallowin *****' in that video. Ugh, that is just so vulgar and disgusting. She has no damn couth. She's like some kind of rabid animal foaming at the mouth. 

I really do wonder where she works because I find it hard to believe that any employer would be okay with her saying all the things she does in her videos. Even when you're off the job, you're still a representative of whatever company you work at. Although, if she's workin at McD's or something, I suppose that would explain it...


----------



## lesedi (Nov 10, 2011)

How could this possibly be that serious that one of you needed to get the entrance lady FIRED????
Whoever did is a sad, lonely, pathetic individual. Get a grip. If she was as rude as described, why not let Nikkii handle her business? You weren't even there!!! We are only going on Nikkii's account of what happened....
I know hair means a lot to us....but DANG!! You (whoever you are) need more people.


----------



## discodumpling (Nov 10, 2011)

Just wanted to do this one time 'fore the thread gets closed:***CHUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTZZZZZZZZZ"


----------



## cami88 (Nov 10, 2011)

lesedi said:


> How could this possibly be that serious that one of you needed to get the entrance lady FIRED????
> Whoever did is a sad, lonely, pathetic individual. Get a grip. If she was as rude as described, why not let Nikkii handle her business? You weren't even there!!! We are only going on Nikkii's account of what happened....
> I know hair means a lot to us....but DANG!! You (whoever you are) need more people.


 

That was a joke. No one was fired.


----------



## lesedi (Nov 10, 2011)

cami88 said:


> That was a joke. No one was fired.




Thank god! I lost all faith in humanity


----------



## LittleLuxe (Nov 10, 2011)

cami88 said:


> Okay, littlelux (who, I think is the one that brought up the whole thing about employment) did NOT do anything to try and get highmaintenence fired from her job. Damn, the rumor mill sure is at work, this is like a game of telephone. I can't find the post, but she said something like "i wonder where she works, I'd send this to her employer in a heartbeat". That was IT. Now, people on here are making it sound like she called up her job or some sh*t.
> 
> ETA: Damn, I'm reading thru the last page and it's like...this story has spiraled out of control. The girl DID NOT threaten to send the videos to her job. She did not say she was going to do that. I don't remember what her exact words were, but people are making it sound like she was looking thru trying to find where highmay works and sh*t--that was NOT the case.  it...



cami88 Basically, lol. I know how things go done on LHCF so I'm not shocked by this thread or how some people went wild with 1 aspect. A single sentence where I, in anger, said I'd email her boss such a link (and even in the context of the paragraph it was in it's not really a threat) became some member's personal crusade to save High Maintenance. 

I'm sure folks will break out the gif's and such regardless but I'm going to attempt to spoil some of the entertainment regardless. I don't like people insulting blacks based on asppects of our physical being. I don't like it when it's done by whites or other blacks. You can believe Nikki or not, disagree with her or not but High Maintenance made a video railing against people of her own race who just happen to be lighter than her. 

The fact is both sides of what either YouTuber was complaining about are offenses created in the black community as a result of slavery. High Maintenance video was targeted at the wrong community because while there are some perks she views women lighter as her getting and Nikki's complaints being void light-skinned women didn't create that system. White people did. The email comment was because I saw another YouTuber entirely change her persona when her sponsors were contacted and I realized this is merely an act for most. A means of being a comedian or actress.

But when you're insulting a good chunk of your community to play up that act...that's just sad. Like i said earlier in the thread i didn't find it funny when i heard Don Imus publicly call a group of black girls, 'Nappy-Headed Hoes' but if i look at High Maintenance's video title and say 'thats acceptable' than for me internally I am saying to everyone out side of me "It's okay to call me this, call us this."  I don't find High Maintenance word's funny, mostly because I know there's a long procession of whites and injustices that created both her and Nikki's comments. And that those whites are laughing because so many years later their work was so successful. Except in the end neither women is going after the system, in the end were still just railing against one another. Hurt because of one another. And we all know what those actions are doing to our statistics as a people.

Instead of running wild with misinformation and entertainment (my words are right there for anyone to read) could we please focus on the real reason these types of videos WORK to get us angry at one another? Or that might be asking too much if we simply prefer to laugh, brush it off, and never let the true issue sink any deeper.


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 10, 2011)

lesedi said:


> Thank god! I lost all faith in humanity




That was my bad.  I didn't make myself clear enough that I was just playin


----------



## Lita (Nov 10, 2011)

Wow! This really took a crazy turn....


*Off to the vendor forum/In search of a discount for more hair milk...


Happy Hair Growing!


----------



## Lita (Nov 10, 2011)

I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THIS> Shut it down!




Happy Hair Growing!


----------



## BrookeLynn (Nov 10, 2011)

I think it's safe to say that if you say something mean it, don't bite your tongue for anyone. If you aren't ready to take the heat for your comments don't font them. Himay is apparently in a position to ride this drama to the wheels fall off but you Luxe are not. Just let it go. 

I swear Youtube and Twitter are the devil incarnate.


----------



## destine2grow (Nov 10, 2011)

I am so shocked!!! I mean speechless!!! All I have to say that if it was me who had a friend that ratted me out witch would get whats coming to her. (Although I would not get that riled up where I would want to contact someones employer).


----------



## empressri (Nov 10, 2011)

just switch "department" with "thread"


----------



## LadyChe (Nov 10, 2011)

empressri said:


> just switch "department" with "thread"



Lol... I just made this my screen saver.


----------



## Guitarhero (Nov 10, 2011)

Back-tracking......


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 10, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> cami88 Basically, lol. I know how things go done on LHCF so I'm not shocked by this thread or how some people went wild with 1 aspect. A single sentence where I, in anger*, said I'd email her boss such a link (and even in the context of the paragraph it was in it's not really a threat) became some member's personal crusade to save High Maintenance. *



I know you're not talking about me cause I don't know you.  Don't know what you look like or where you stay.  Whomever sent your personal info to her is someone you know PERSONALLY and I guess with your threat of wanting to send her video links to her job to get her fired or disciplined ignited something in her just like it did for me to finally come out of lurk mode after all this time.   There's something about threatening somebody's livelihood that doesn't sit well with most folks, especially with jobs being so scarce.

Also, just what did you expect her employer to do?  Make her take down the videos or fire her?  What did you want the outcome of that situation to be?  



> You can believe Nikki or not, disagree with her or not *but High Maintenance made a video railing against people of her own race who just happen to be lighter than her.*



So did Nikki.  Who do you think she was targeting in that video of her being disrespected "all her life" for being lightskin with long "pretty" hair?  Other lightskinned longhaired folks?



> *The fact is both sides of what either YouTuber was complaining about are offenses created in the black community as a result of slavery. High Maintenance video was targeted at the wrong community*



What "community" is she targeting?  She didn't say.



> *The email comment was because I saw another YouTuber entirely change her persona when her sponsors were contacted *and I realized this is merely an act for most. A means of being a comedian or actress.



Sponsors and employers are completely different animals.  You can always get new sponsors, but getting a job that pays the bills and entails benefits is VERY HARD to come by these days even for the most educated.



> *But when you're insulting a good chunk of your community to play up that act...that's just sad.*



Nikki insulted all women darker than her with kinky hair, so now what?

Himay10nence is the Redd Foxx of youtube.  Her "vulgarity" doesn't offend my delicate sensibilities.  I like it.  I'd be disappointed if she suddenly came out speaking like Michelle Obama and wonder why she's being so fake now.  She'd lose fans, because don't nobody wanna see a "calmed down and proper" Himay10nence.



> *Instead of running wild with misinformation and entertainment (my words are right there for anyone to read) could we please focus on the real reason these types of videos WORK to get us angry at one another?* Or that might be asking too much if we simply prefer to laugh, brush it off, and never let the true issue sink any deeper.



I wasn't angry with either her or Nikki.  Nikki had me rollin' my eyes and HM had me rollin' on the floor.  No "anger" for neither one of them.

Who was mad at these videos being displayed or are you just upset at HM's?


----------



## anartist4u2001 (Nov 10, 2011)

OH MY GOSH, shut the hell up yall! dang you guys are doin' too damn much. my goodness!

i'm sorry i like Himay, but sometimes she really does too damn MUCH. it's the truth! the way she went on that video talkin' about that poster was just WOW. that was so not right.


----------



## cami88 (Nov 10, 2011)

But jada she didn't *threaten* to get highmaintenence fired, I don't know why people keep saying that. And even if she had, what was the point of distributing her personal info? Was the person hoping that highmaintenence woukd get mad and go to her house and and try to harm her? Just shameful, imo


----------



## Peace in Prose (Nov 10, 2011)

Same way some people "implied" going to people's boss...

Keep stuff in the realm they belong...

Makes no sense to be this angry at an internet "personality"

And, oh...







I agree, stuff will get drastic if you someone mentions going to my boss because you don't like my font, face, hair, voice, etc.

Ain't that serious...


----------



## HappilyLiberal (Nov 10, 2011)

In before adlock2: adlock2: adlock2: adlock2: adlock2:


----------



## justicefighter1913 (Nov 10, 2011)

My Friend said:


> This thread needs a good ole fashion negro spiritual
> 
> 
> Waaaaaade in the water.....waaaaaaaaaade in the water chilren......



My Friend: you are silly!!! 

Sent from my DROIDX using DROIDX


----------



## Poohbear (Nov 10, 2011)

HIMAY10NENCE talks about EVERYONE! Not just light skinned curly haired women. Even in that video where she was talking about NikkiDior, she talked about women with nappy/kinky natural hair and she has nappy/kinky natural hair herself. So you all shouldn't take HIMAY10NENCE that serious. I think she's funny AND has a lot of truth in the things she says anyway. I also  at NikkiDior's video entitled "Natural Hair Community My A$$". She obviously has some issues or insecurities in her mind about what people are thinking of her hair.


----------



## longfroinghair (Nov 10, 2011)

LittleLuxe said:


> cami88 Basically, lol. I know how things go done on LHCF so I'm not shocked by this thread or how some people went wild with 1 aspect. A single sentence where I, in anger, said I'd email her boss such a link (and even in the context of the paragraph it was in it's not really a threat) became some member's personal crusade to save High Maintenance.



Awwwwwwwww now wait a minute  

"That girl" who Himay was going off on in her video...... was based off _your posts_ in this thread????? erplexed  

Based off that 1-sentenced faux pas you made????  erplexed 

I didn't know that.   Woah


----------



## keenyme (Nov 10, 2011)

longfroinghair said:


> Awwwwwwwww now wait a minute
> 
> "That girl" who Himay was going off on in her video...... was based off _your posts_ in this thread????? erplexed
> 
> ...


which is why it's so extra. ppl writing dissertations and sending out personal info like she was actively trying to get himay fired.

i for one like himay10nence, but i still don't see why ppl are going all hard in the paint over one sentence (which the poster later retracted and admitted was a bit extra)

lemme stop posting, b/c i'm only making it worse.


----------



## cami88 (Nov 10, 2011)

And not to add fuel to the fire but even if anyone did call up highmaintenence's job and report her youtube antics, I would not feel bad for her. Don't put anything up on the internet that you wouldn't want anyone and everyone to see. Yeah its a recession and we all need our jobs but when you put stuff online you give folks permissiion to use the info in whatever way they please.


----------



## knt1229 (Nov 10, 2011)

^^^I would hope that an employer wouldn't be foolish enough to fire an employee over good hair/bad hair issues in the black community. It's really silly and immature of you and the one who made the original statement to want to report this to someone's employer. If that's the case then maybe someone should do a quick search of all your hair related post and send them to your employer. 

Ridiculous!


----------



## Kirei (Nov 10, 2011)

This forum...

Y'all gonna learn. All kinds of people are on here y'all don't call chicks the LHCFBI for nothing.


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 10, 2011)

cami88 said:


> And not to add fuel to the fire but even if anyone did call up highmaintenence's job and report her youtube antics, I would not feel bad for her. Don't put anything up on the internet that you wouldn't want anyone and everyone to see. Yeah its a recession and we all need our jobs* but when you put stuff online you give folks permissiion to use the info in whatever way they please*.



What I put in bold is not true......


----------



## DDTexlaxed (Nov 10, 2011)

Since when is it legal to get someone's info and post it to someone? Whoever did that was foul.   That is someone truly wanting beef to spill outside of LHCF.


----------



## keenyme (Nov 10, 2011)

i know i said i would stop posting, and i know ive been posting about how extra it is for ppl to get SO upset at that poster over that comment, but i honestly dont see what himay has done to deserve to be fired. i think meddling in ppl's real life is just extra, period. idk why anyone would think it was okay to get someone fired OR put someone's safety at risk over some mess on the nets.

just puttimg that out there so no one decides to tell himay that i'm talbout her...


----------



## Kirei (Nov 10, 2011)

DDTexlaxed said:


> Since when is it legal to get someone's info and post it to someone? Whoever did that was foul.   That is someone truly wanting beef to spill outside of LHCF.



How is it illegal? 

If I know your name and you threaten someone I can call them and be like "That's Keisha and her people like on Johnson and Groves!"

That is not illegal...wrong, yes but illegal, no. 

People in here do it all the dang time. We just did it to MopTop...


----------



## BostonMaria (Nov 10, 2011)

LongCurlz said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ0Ul8iUgOo&feature=feedu



Holy mierda!!!! LMFAO!!! 

But in all seriousness if you don't like her don't watch her videos. She has kids and taking away their mom's source of income isn't funny. That girl looks like she'd send a hit man after you LOL


Sent from my fancy iPhone using LHCF


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 10, 2011)

Selah339 said:


> How is it illegal?
> 
> If I know your name and you threaten someone I can call them and be like "That's Keisha and her people like on Johnson and Groves!"
> 
> ...



On top of that, HM10 never said _what_ she exactly knew. She could have been bluffing.


----------



## Lila25 (Nov 10, 2011)

This thread has been..


----------



## pookaloo83 (Nov 10, 2011)

So entertaining


----------



## DDTexlaxed (Nov 10, 2011)

Selah339 said:


> How is it illegal?
> 
> If I know your name and you threaten someone I can call them and be like "That's Keisha and her people like on Johnson and Groves!"
> 
> ...



I thought personal info on this site was only for the Moderators to post. Some one's name and address should not be put out there because of a misquote. Himmay was not fired. It was a misquote said here.   What if the person was harmed because of the address leak?


----------



## Natirelle (Nov 10, 2011)

Daaaang It seems like the way of the world, on here, To give someones personal info out. I see people still havent learn.

S/N yes I did read the thread.


----------



## cami88 (Nov 10, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> What I put in bold is not true......


 

Why not? When you put stuff on the internet, it's out there...forever...and you can't take it back. Your photos/videos/words can be accessed by God only knows who to do God only knows what with. It would behoove people not to put things on the internet that they wouldn't be comfortable with EVERYONE seeing. The internet ought not to be used as a personal diary. If something you put online gets back to an employer or some other person you didn't want to see it, then you have no one to blame but yourself.


----------



## cami88 (Nov 10, 2011)

knt1229 said:


> ^^^I would hope that an employer wouldn't be foolish enough to fire an employee over good hair/bad hair issues in the black community. It's really silly and immature of you and the one who made the original statement to want to report this to someone's employer. If that's the case then maybe someone should do a quick search of all your hair related post and send them to your employer.
> 
> Ridiculous!


 

Please don't misquote me. I did not say I wanted to report anything to anyone's employer. I said if it got back to her job I would not feel sorry for her.


----------



## MizzBrown (Nov 10, 2011)

Selah339 said:


> How is it illegal?
> 
> If I know your name and you threaten someone I can call them and be like "That's Keisha and her people like on Johnson and Groves!"
> 
> ...


 
Yeah, its sheisty but not illegal. When you get personal with folks job or money then they can get personal back though & give up your I.D. 

What's funny is that everyone on this board is probably seperated by 6 people. The whole 6 degrees of seperation thing is so real. 

I don't know you but if I talk to enough people through a PM, i'll find out a lot of stuff about you and vice versa. 

Everyone isn't anonymous either..even if you've never posted your location or pics. Learned that in PM etiquette.


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 10, 2011)

cami88 said:


> Why not? When you put stuff on the internet, it's out there...forever...and you can't take it back. Your photos/videos/words can be accessed by God only knows who to do God only knows what with. It would behoove people not to put things on the internet that they wouldn't be comfortable with EVERYONE seeing. The internet ought not to be used as a personal diary. If something you put online gets back to an employer or some other person you didn't want to see it, then you have no one to blame but yourself.




Because it is stealing and you could get sued.  Information and images posted on Websites are copyrighted and property of the owner of that site, and if you didn't write it or take the picture, then you cannot do whatever you want with stuff that does not belong to you.


----------



## cami88 (Nov 10, 2011)

That doesn't mean people don't do it....

My point was, that once you put something on the internet. It's pretty much out of your hands as far as where it goes, so its best not to put something that you wouldn't be comfortable with everyone seeing. that's all.

ETA: I thought it was obvious that I didn't mean websites containing copywrited material.


----------



## ladykpnyc (Nov 10, 2011)

I never said it out loud, but I used to be one of those people who thought that ppl with looser textures had it easier...until I started caring for my bestfriends daughter's hair; she's white and her husband is black. Their daughter has a silky texture and extremely denses strands. Detangling is a !!! She has 3bish hair, but it shrinks up A LOT! My 4a hair is easier to manage. I definitely learned a lesson. 

At the end of the day, hair is just hair. It really isn't that serious. I have been told by napzis that I couldn't call myself natural because I dyed my hair...I have just learned to ignore the haters and do me.


----------



## Kirei (Nov 10, 2011)

MizzBrown said:


> Yeah, its sheisty but not illegal. When you get personal with folks job or money then they can get personal back though & give up your I.D.
> 
> What's funny is that everyone on this board is probably seperated by 6 people. The whole 6 degrees of seperation thing is so real.
> 
> ...


Girlllll....

Folks around here don't know. No one is anonymous on here. Like i said folks are gonna learn to leave these YouTube people alone.


----------



## knt1229 (Nov 10, 2011)

cami88 said:


> Please don't misquote me. I did not say I wanted to report anything to anyone's employer. I said if it got back to her job I would not feel sorry for her.


 
I didn't misquote you. You seem to be in agreement that Himan should be fired. And according to the words you typed you would be pleased if she were fired. That's what you typed and that is what your posts are supporting. I responded with the fact that you and the one who made the original comment are silly and immature. And the same thing you happily support to have done to someone else could just as easily be done to you.


----------



## OsnapCnapp! (Nov 10, 2011)

Wow there are so many snakes in here. I just can't take it. erplexed


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 10, 2011)

Sheena284 said:


> I feel for her if that's how it really happened. But she can't have been the only person at that natural hair thing with that hair type, right? *So... what makes her assume her hair was the reason?*




Sheena284, obviously it's because she's so beautiful.  Her complexion and hair have always been this "cross" she's had to bear "all her life".  I'm stunned that you would even question the reason.  

Out of curiosity, I checked out a couple of Nikki's other videos and shall we say "space cadet"?


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 10, 2011)

cami88 said:


> That doesn't mean people don't do it....
> 
> My point was, that once you put something on the internet. It's pretty much out of your hands as far as where it goes, so its best not to put something that you wouldn't be comfortable with everyone seeing. that's all.
> 
> ETA: I thought it was obvious that I didn't mean websites containing copywrited material.



What do you think youtube is?  A blog?  They are all *websites* where people own the rights (or are suppose to) to the content they uploaded to the site. 

It is difficult to control the content once it is uploaded, but that does not mean that it is right to steal it.  If the thief is tracked down, action can be  taken against them.

And back to Himam10nence, whether you agree with her online persona or not, if her boss found out on his own or through his personal sources that  is one thing. But it is something totally different for someone who does not know her personally to report her videos to her employer in the hopes that some type of repercussions will happen as a result.


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 10, 2011)

Deleted post.

Simple chick gonna make me waste my damn time typing stuff only to tell me that it wasn't true.

I'm a leave this thread before I start speaking some Himay10nence language up in here resulting in getting banned for some nonsense.

Happily back to LURK mode for GOOD THIS TIME.


----------



## HappilyLiberal (Nov 10, 2011)

> SNITCHES get you STITCHES and find yo a$$ in DITCHES!!!!!


----------



## cami88 (Nov 10, 2011)

ok jada, at this point I have no choice but to believe you are being deliberately obtuse
No one *threatened* highmaytenence's job. Nor were any vids sent to her employer. I really think you are taking this waaay too seriously. It was a ONE LINE REMARK. MADE IN JEST. AND SHE HAS RETRACTED IT. 

And yes, I do need to ask--what was the point in distributing her personal info? Did the culprit do it in hopes that highmaytenence would actually go to littleluxe's house to hurt her? I'm sorry, but that is a far worse offense than just abstractly wondering aloud about the state of someone's employment.

I feel like you're too busy being angry and defending yourself to be reasonable about the facts. You keep saying that highmaytenence was threatened when folks have made it clear time and time again that her job was not threatened in any way, shape, or form. And you keep defending the choice to distribute personal info AS IF going to someone's house and hurting them because they made a single comment in anger is the right thing to do.

If indeed you think that giving out personal information of a stranger who might have kids to think about or whoever else is a fair trade off for a remark made in jest, that has since been apologized for, then I think that's f*cked up, and that you are a sick individual.

I don't know why you keep emphasizing the fact that highmaytenence is a 'sista'. That means nil to me. Lets not try and pretend there is some kind of fake camraderie or kinship between us just because we all happen to be of the same race.


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 10, 2011)

cami88 said:


> *ok jada, at this point I have no choice but to believe you are being deliberately obtuse*
> No one *threatened* highmaytenence's job.



I deleted the post, but the fact that you made me waste my damn time posting it angers me.

You made me think you wanted a SERIOUS answer from me only to tell me that I'm being "obtuse" and then you're gonna insult me.

Okay then.  I won't insult you back, because I'm not trying to make a ban for crap that does NOT concern me PERSONALLY.

SMFH, it's posters like YOU that made me remember why I stopped posting on here and stayed in lurk mode.

I'm out. Take care y'all! It was real. _*waving*_


----------



## nappystorm (Nov 10, 2011)

jada1111 said:


> Then there isn't anything for us to discuss.
> 
> I thought you were serious in wanting a response from me.  I gave it to you and now you're gonna say I'm being "obtuse".  Man, you made me type that post for NO REASON and now I'm pissed.
> 
> ...


.........


----------



## Poohbear (Nov 10, 2011)

HappilyLiberal said:


>


Sho' do.

Here's a song for snitches: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lckA6MuHIuI

This particular lyric of Juelz song.... "Play around clown you'll get found in the dirtiest ditch!"


----------



## tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT (Nov 10, 2011)

> *  obviously it's because she's so beautiful.  Her complexion and hair  have always been this "cross" she's had to bear "all her life".*  I'm  stunned that you would even question the reason.
> 
> Out of curiosity, I checked out a couple of Nikki's other videos and shall we say "space cadet"






> Then there isn't anything for us to discuss.
> 
> I thought you were serious in wanting a response from me.  I gave it to you and now you're gonna say I'm being "obtuse".  Man, you made me type that post for NO REASON and now I'm pissed.
> 
> ...


......................


----------



## MizzBrown (Nov 10, 2011)

Jada, don't lose your job now...


----------



## Poohbear (Nov 10, 2011)

I posted this in the other thread and wanted to post it here too.... HIMAY10NENCE actually took up for NikkiiDior in a video prior to her "light-skinned good hair hoes are mad" video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...shdCNxs#t=306s

"I don't know who f#ckin' with you Nikki. I'm tellin' these b!tches right now...leave Nikki alone because y'all makin' her uncomfortable in her good hairness. She don't like y'all f#ckin' with her. Leave NikkiiDior alone. Leave her alone. Don't say sh!t to her when y'all see her comin'. Close your mothaf#ckin' eyes...ehh...ehh... when she come by. Don't f#ckin' look at her 'cause y'all making her uncomfortable..."

So see, HIMAY10NENCE can be all over the place with her videos!  No need to get your panties all in a wad over the things she says.  She has the same straight face in all her videos as if she really doesn't give a f*** about anything. She just speaks her mind and that's it.


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 10, 2011)

nappystorm said:


> .........



Glad you quoted it, especially the LAST LINE. LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!


----------



## nappystorm (Nov 11, 2011)

jada1111 said:


> Glad you quoted it, especially the LAST LINE. LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!




At least I didn't didn't highlight it


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 11, 2011)

tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT said:


> ......................



tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT, now you know you ain't *ish for that Prince gif, right? 

But I love it anyway!!!!!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!



MizzBrown said:


> Jada, don't lose your job now...



MizzBrown, you and I will be in contact in PM land. LOL!

I'm not trying to make the ban and lose my viewing nor posting rights to certain forums all for some nonsense.  I'm cool staying in the background and talking to peeps in the PM world.


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 11, 2011)

nappystorm said:


> At least I didn't didn't highlight it



nappystorm, I wish you WOULD have.

I'm so pissed right now I can hardly type.  

Looking at that Prince gif tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT posted is truly giving me life right now! LOL!!

Forgive me for being sucked into what I "believed" to be a "serious" question.

Never again.


----------



## cami88 (Nov 11, 2011)

MizzBrown said:


> Jada, don't lose your job now...


 


jada1111 said:


> Deleted post.
> 
> Simple chick gonna make me waste my damn time typing stuff only to tell me that it wasn't true.
> 
> ...


 
I am bewildered by this post right now. I said I thought you were being deliberately obtuse because it appeared as if you were consistently choosing to ignore the facts in favor of defending highmaytenence. If I had it wrong, then I apologize.


----------



## Poohbear (Nov 11, 2011)

OsnapCnapp! said:


> Wow there are so many *snakes *in here. I just can't take it. erplexed



OsnapCnapp! - you betta strap in and open some windows...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amYzBQMT4VI


----------



## aquajoyice (Nov 11, 2011)

I knew about the LHCF FBI but now there's a LHCF Mob?! Folks giving out someone's personal info hiring hit men and threatening to snitch?! Who knew Hair could turn into such a dangerous topic! LMAO! And how is this thread NOT locked by now?!


----------



## curlyninjagirl (Nov 11, 2011)

This thread is so weird. I haven't had internet in 5 days and I can't believe all these pages of posts stemmed from that one extremely *vague *video. LOL. It was hardly a rant. It was a whisper of a rant.

I seriously don't know how anybody got anything out of it. 'Somebody was rude to me......and I think.....cuz my hair......and.....' *end whisper of a rant before I get worked up*


----------



## dachsies_rule! (Nov 11, 2011)

Poohbear said:


> @OsnapCnapp! - you betta strap in and open some windows...
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amYzBQMT4VI


 
*Bwahahaha! I was waiting for someone to post that*


----------



## [email protected] (Nov 11, 2011)

:thatsall:
------------------------------------


----------



## HappilyLiberal (Nov 11, 2011)

Sheena284 said:


> I feel for her if that's how it really happened. But she can't have been the only person at that natural hair thing with that hair type, right? *So... what makes her assume her hair was the reason?*




Duh...  she's a UE Unicorn!


----------



## NessaNessa (Nov 11, 2011)

I rarely visit the hair forum.  I learned of this thread thru Himay10ence's youtube.    I am subscribed and whew lawd


----------



## Kerryann (Nov 11, 2011)

I didnt read all the pages but this girl is obviously looking for some special kind of attention my response is 
*
KISS MI BLOODCLAWT TEETH CAUSE DI STORY YOU SELLING MI NAH BUY IT*

drops mike walks out smdh craziness


----------



## OsnapCnapp! (Nov 11, 2011)

Poohbear oh my goodness that didn't even come to my mind, lol! Aww man that was like the classic scene


----------



## keenyme (Nov 11, 2011)

that was... nuff. i can't.


----------



## Papoose (Nov 11, 2011)

This certainly was entertaining. If this is going down during the week, Sunday is going to be ridiculous!


----------



## *Frisky* (Nov 11, 2011)

jada1111

What did I miss? It shows I have mention from one of your post but you edited it so I don't know what was said.


----------



## AHeadOfCoils (Nov 11, 2011)

Poohbear said:


> I posted this in the other thread and wanted to post it here too.... HIMAY10NENCE actually took up for NikkiiDior in a video prior to her "light-skinned good hair hoes are mad" video:
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...shdCNxs#t=306s
> 
> ...



You have to watch that entire video.  She was clowning her from the middle to the end.  Like straight clowning...


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 11, 2011)

Yeah, she was being sarcastic


----------



## FeelinIt (Nov 11, 2011)

No more or less to add really...just wanted to say I was here.


I respect her hair journey and don't think she should be blatently disrespected but her 3c and my 4c don't have the same journey.


----------



## naturalTAN (Nov 11, 2011)

cami88 said:


> Why not? When you put stuff on the internet, it's out there...forever...and you can't take it back. Your photos/videos/words can be accessed by God only knows who to do God only knows what with. It would behoove people not to put things on the internet that they wouldn't be comfortable with EVERYONE seeing. The internet ought not to be used as a personal diary.* If something you put online gets back to an employer or some other person you didn't want to see it, then you have no one to blame but yourself.*




The same could be said for LittleLuz's personal information. She's the one to blame for making friends online and giving out her info to someone who passed it on to Himay.


----------



## lesedi (Nov 11, 2011)

Kerryann said:


> *
> KISS MI BLOODCLAWT TEETH CAUSE DI STORY YOU SELLING MI NAH BUY IT*


----------



## Poohbear (Nov 11, 2011)

HappilyLiberal said:


> Duh...  she's a UE Unicorn!


----------



## Poohbear (Nov 11, 2011)

AHeadOfCoils said:


> You have to watch that entire video.  She was clowning her from the middle to the end.  Like straight clowning...



AHeadOfCoils, I did watch the whole video. Like I said, Himay10nence be all over the place. She can be for and against at the same time!


----------



## Danewshe (Nov 11, 2011)

LAST 1 'ERE


----------



## LovelyNaps26 (Nov 11, 2011)

DDTexlaxed said:


> *Since when is it legal to get someone's info and post it to someone? Whoever did that was foul*.   That is someone truly wanting beef to spill outside of LHCF.





ms-gg said:


> On top of that, HM10 never said _what_ she exactly knew. *She could have been bluffing*.




I suspect the person who inboxed her the poster's info is as real as the long sought after deep conditioner containing unicorn tears, fairy poop and an Indian woman's breast milk that will grow hair 5 inches a month. When she said she had the poster's information I was like  I still wouldn't mess with her though. The world is a small, small place.


----------



## SmileyNY (Nov 11, 2011)

LovelyNaps26 said:


> I suspect the person who inboxed her the poster's info is as real as the long sought after deep conditioner containing unicorn tears, fairy poop and an Indian woman's breast milk that will grow hair 5 inches a month. When she said she had the poster's information I was like  I still wouldn't mess with her though. The world is a small, small place.



Exactly. Either that, or a troll inboxed her with false information. 


Either way....   


Sent from my iPhone.


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 11, 2011)

For those who wanna know what happened, I'm just gonna explain it here cause I don't feel like PMing everybody.  I'd like to, but I don't have that kind of time.

I was responding to a post that was directed at me by Cami88:



cami88 said:


> *But jada she didn't *threaten* to get highmaintenence fired, I don't know why people keep saying that. And even if she had, what was the point of distributing her personal info? Was the person hoping that highmaintenence woukd get mad and go to her house and and try to harm her? Just shameful, imo*



Seems harmless enough, right?  I answer her question by basically recopying LittleLuxe's post in her OWN WORDS of her wanting/threatening (same thing) to send her vids to Himay10nence's employer:



LittleLuxe said:


> *Frisky*
> 
> Do you know who her sponsors are by any chance? Cause I'm wondering who's supporting the woman who's half naked in some of her videos for no reason...
> 
> *Also makes me wonder  if High Maintenance actually works someplace because I'd send that vid to her boss/corporation in a jiffy. *



I mean it's plain as day what she said.  If she knew where the woman worked she would try to sabotage her job, because HM acts like a" stereotypical negro" that disgraces the race and deserves punishment for allowing "others" to see this side of the culture.  

But whiney, delusional crybaby black women like NikkiDior is okay??  Gimme HM any day of the week, PLEASE!!  

I also answered the rest of her post:


cami88 said:


> *And even if she had, what was the point of distributing her personal info?*



My response was *"Do you really need to ask this?"*

And I answered this last part of her post:


> *Was the person hoping that highmaintenence woukd get mad and go to her house and and try to harm her?  Just shameful, imo*



I basically said the "shame" was in trying to get a sista fired or in trouble at her job for hair video comments that didn't concern her.  To be that pressed to get a person fired who you do NOT know all because you disagreed with her "tone" and consider her not to be a representation of a "good black" shows that the person doing the snitching has deeper issues than the "bad black" she despises so much.

I then ended the post with BrookeLynn's very appropriate comment for the situation:



BrookeLynn said:


> *I think it's safe to say that if you say something mean it, don't bite your tongue for anyone. If you aren't ready to take the heat for your comments don't font them. Himay is apparently in a position to ride this drama to the wheels fall off but you Luxe are not.* Just let it go.



A very honest and straight forward answer to what I "believed" to be a serious question.  It wasn't.  Cami then posted this garbage right here:



cami88 said:


> *ok jada, at this point I have no choice but to believe you are being deliberately obtuse*
> 
> No one *threatened* highmaytenence's job. Nor were any vids sent to her employer. I really think you are taking this waaay too seriously. It was a ONE LINE REMARK. MADE IN JEST. AND SHE HAS RETRACTED IT.
> 
> ...



I was basically told that I was full of *ish and a "sick individual", because my answer didn't fit in line with what she WANTED IT TO BE.  Also, the statement to send the vids to Himay10nence's job was NOT made in "jest" nor was it apologized for.  The poster tried to retract and clean it up, but it doesn't matter.  Everyone knows she was serious.

I'm more upset at the fact that Cami set me up with a bullcrap "question" only to ambush me with the above.  I do what I always do on these boards, answer TRUTHFULLY and DIRECTLY.  Unlike "some" others on here, I say "what I mean" and "mean what I say".  I don't have time for these "trick" questions *ish.  I'm still pissed about it, but I'm refraining from saying things that will make a ban.


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 11, 2011)

cami88 said:


> *I am bewildered by this post right now.* I said I thought you were being deliberately obtuse because it appeared as if you were consistently choosing to ignore the facts in favor of defending highmaytenence. If I had it wrong, then I apologize.



Yes, you're "bewildered" all right.

*Don't talk to me.  Don't respond to me.  Don't acknowledge my existence on LHCF in any way, shape or fashion from this point forward. I have you on permanent ignore. 

I know what time it is with you now and you will not bring me out of my character.  I have officially categorized you as a "Nikki Dior". *

And for everyone out there who believes I know Himay10nenece, Nikki or any of these internet chicks, I don't.  Nikki could NEVER be anyone I'd wanna associate with.  Himay10nence is cool as long as I don't take her to a white house dinner.


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 11, 2011)

tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT said:


> ......................



tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT, you and these damn Prince gifs!!! LOLOL!!

Where are you finding them?  He is so cute with his asexual self.


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 11, 2011)

curlyninjagirl said:


> This thread is so weird. I haven't had internet in 5 days and I can't believe all these pages of posts stemmed from that one extremely *vague *video. LOL. It was hardly a rant. It was a whisper of a rant.
> 
> *I seriously don't know how anybody got anything out of it. 'Somebody was rude to me......and I think.....cuz my hair......and.....' *end whisper of a rant before I get worked up**



curlyninjagirl, isn't she a mess??? 

She never did say what these supposed "slights" were.  They probably didn't acknowledge how "beautiful" she was or paid homage to her "good hurr", so she took as them (black women with kinky hair) being jealous of her fabulousness. *rolls eyes*

If you can stand it, click on a couple of her other videos and you'll see that she's the cause of her own "issues".  I bet you she'll be in her fifties saying how black women are STILL jealous of her.  So sad.


----------



## cami88 (Nov 11, 2011)

Okay, jada. You're nuts. How was she being serious? She obviously has no clue where highmaintenence works nor would she have any viable way of sending anything to her employer. 

And I didn't ambush you. I called you a sick individual not because I didn't agree with your answer,  but because you (apparently, as evidenced by your responses in this thread) think it's alright for someone to give out LL's home address to highmaintenence so that she could go to her house and attempt to harm her.Someone makes an (obviously hollow) threat to call up your job about something that is already accessible to the public, so you what, go to their house and kill them and their family? Yes, that to me is sick. 
But I'm just a stranger with an opinion. I really don't get what you're so upset about. What does it matter what I think?


----------



## ms-gg (Nov 11, 2011)

Your girl Himan10nence is going to be on Dr Drew 



http://wildfire.gigya.com/facebook/...iMmI5NDY4Zjg2NDMyOWM*ZTdlZWZiYzEmb2Y9MA==&s=1


----------



## HappilyLiberal (Nov 11, 2011)

AHeadOfCoils said:


> You have to watch that entire video.  She was clowning her from the middle to the end.  Like straight clowning...



That's what I thought...  then I thought "well maybe Poohbear is seeing something I can't see..."


----------



## westNDNbeauty (Nov 11, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> Your girl Himan10nence is going to be on Dr Drew
> 
> 
> 
> http://wildfire.gigya.com/facebook/...iMmI5NDY4Zjg2NDMyOWM*ZTdlZWZiYzEmb2Y9MA==&s=1



Ha! It's coming on on Tuesday. lol 

I ain't mad at her.


----------



## Raspberry (Nov 11, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> Your girl Himan10nence is going to be on Dr Drew
> 
> 
> 
> http://wildfire.gigya.com/facebook/...iMmI5NDY4Zjg2NDMyOWM*ZTdlZWZiYzEmb2Y9MA==&s=1



What is Dr. Drew doing?? Why does have all of these black women topics? Why is this so entertaining to America?  The choose  Himan10nence of alllllll the hair  vloggers they could've chosen? She's entertaining but come on now.. that's how you know these shows have an agenda of using black female cultural issues as pure comedic fodder. smh..for real.

Imma need black women to seriously refrain from talking calling folks sellouts over hair on national television.   I just can't... seriously.


----------



## jada1111 (Nov 11, 2011)

Raspberry said:


> What is Dr. Drew doing?? Why does have all of these black women topics? Why is this so entertaining to America?  The choose  Himan10nence of alllllll the hair  vloggers they could've chosen? She's entertaining but come on now.. that's how you know these shows have an agenda of using black female cultural issues as pure comedic fodder. smh..for real.
> 
> Imma need black women to seriously refrain from talking calling folks sellouts over hair on national television.   I just can't... seriously.



Would you prefer Himay10nence or Nikki Dior?? LOLOL!!!!

But I agree, I like HM and all, but she shouldn't be sitting on stage.  He had a nice selection of natural haired women in the audience though.

*ETA:* I agree about the sellouts about wearing straight hair thing.  Those are the natural nazis that get on everyone's nerves.  

Dr. Drew looks real happy to be surrounded by all those black women doesn't he? LOL


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## Raspberry (Nov 11, 2011)

jada1111 said:


> Would you prefer Himay10nence or Nikki Dior?? LOLOL!!!!
> 
> But I agree, I like HM and all, but she shouldn't be sitting on stage.  He had a nice selection of natural haired women in the audience though.
> 
> ...



Naw.. he kinda reminds of Maury Povich with those fake *** concerned facial expressions erplexed.  I've never watched his show and that was only a short clip so maybe I'm jumping to conclusions.. at least I really hope so.  But you're right in that the audience has many nice looking women in it.


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## DDTexlaxed (Nov 11, 2011)

This thread should've been locked a long time ago. I can't believe that LHCF has come to this.


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## LongCurlz (Nov 11, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> Your girl Himan10nence is going to be on Dr Drew
> 
> 
> 
> http://wildfire.gigya.com/facebook/...iMmI5NDY4Zjg2NDMyOWM*ZTdlZWZiYzEmb2Y9MA==&s=1



erplexed A "good hair" topic how appropriate

Dr Drew show is starting to remind me of the Tyra show


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## DDTexlaxed (Nov 11, 2011)

Got to hand it to miss Himmay. She certainly is getting paid.  I think her you tube videos go hand in hand with what the show is about.


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## justicefighter1913 (Nov 11, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> Your girl Himan10nence is going to be on Dr Drew
> 
> 
> 
> http://wildfire.gigya.com/facebook/...iMmI5NDY4Zjg2NDMyOWM*ZTdlZWZiYzEmb2Y9MA==&s=1


 

Oh my..... And damn you Dr. Drew for contributing to the next installment of black women bashing 101 by highlighting stereotypical images of black women on some woe is me with my hair mess.... I swear the last 4 years have been about showcasing black women in the most negative light. Have mercy!


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## justicefighter1913 (Nov 11, 2011)

DDTexlaxed said:


> This thread should've been locked a long time ago. I can't believe that LHCF has come to this.


 

Any other time, the breaks would've been pulled by page 5.


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## cami88 (Nov 11, 2011)

I just can't believe Dr. Drew thought that was her real hair...


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## Amerie123 (Nov 11, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> Your girl Himan10nence is going to be on Dr Drew
> 
> 
> 
> http://wildfire.gigya.com/facebook/...iMmI5NDY4Zjg2NDMyOWM*ZTdlZWZiYzEmb2Y9MA==&s=1





WHEN DOES IT END???? Thanks, more black-on-black bashing for the media to laugh at... *sighs*


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## tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT (Nov 11, 2011)

> Yes, you're "bewildered" all right.
> 
> *Don't talk to me.  Don't respond to me.  Don't acknowledge my  existence on LHCF in any way, shape or fashion from this point forward. I  have you on permanent ignore.
> 
> I know what time it is with you now and you will not bring me out of my  character.  I have officially categorized you as a "Nikki Dior". *







ms-gg said:


> Your girl Himan10nence is going to be on Dr Drew
> 
> 
> 
> http://wildfire.gigya.com/facebook/...iMmI5NDY4Zjg2NDMyOWM*ZTdlZWZiYzEmb2Y9MA==&s=1



..................


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## Raspberry (Nov 11, 2011)

Hmm... it's making more sense now why the mods are leaving this thread open..


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## LovelyNaps26 (Nov 11, 2011)

Raspberry said:


> Hmm... it's making more sense now why the mods are leaving this thread open..



really, why?  I just thought they went away on a LHCF Moderator get away for the 3 day weekend. *shrugs*


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## Raspberry (Nov 11, 2011)

LovelyNaps26 said:


> really, why?  I just thought they went away on a LHCF Moderator get away for the 3 day weekend. *shrugs*



Nah, there was a thread locked yesterday...


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## justicefighter1913 (Nov 11, 2011)

Raspberry said:


> Hmm... it's making more sense now why the mods are leaving this thread open..


 

Do tell....


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## DrC (Nov 11, 2011)

justicefighter1913 said:


> Oh my..... *And damn you Dr. Drew for contributing to the next installment of black women bashing 101* by highlighting stereotypical images of black women on some woe is me with my hair mess.... I swear the last 4 years have been about showcasing black women in the most negative light. Have mercy!



justicefighter1913

Well, I have to disagree there.  I think Dr. Drew's contribution has nothing to do with what has always been going on in the black community.  This may be an unpopular opinion, but  I'm actually happy to see that this issue is being addressed on how the black community is segregated within itself from skin color to hair.  The only women who contribute and reiterate the bashing of black women are black women. Otherwise, you would not have your Nikki Dior's, The Mean Judgemental Pamplet Chicks at the natural hair shows, Natural Nazi's, Creamy Crack Snobs, Skin Bleachers, etc. and we would accept our own people the way they are.


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## keenyme (Nov 12, 2011)

DrC said:


> justicefighter1913
> 
> Well, I have to disagree there.  I think Dr. Drew's contribution has nothing to do with what has always been going on in the black community.  This may be an unpopular opinion, but  I'm actually happy to see that this issue is being addressed on how the black community is segregated within itself from skin color to hair.  The only women who contribute and reiterate the bashing of black women are black women. Otherwise, you would not have your Nikki Dior's, The Mean Judgemental Pamplet Chicks at the natural hair shows, Natural Nazi's, Creamy Crack Snobs, Skin Bleachers, etc. and we would accept our own people the way they are.


i think she was referring to the mobs of black men (and a few non black ppl) who will most likely flock to youtube after seeing the show and say "see! they hate themselves! that's why dont nobody like them"!

youtube will be overrun w/ videos responding to this show. judging by the previews, it looks like neither side will come out looking very good, b/c the naturals seemed to be doing the most as well.


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## destine2grow (Nov 12, 2011)

tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT said:


> ..................


 

@tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT you know you stupid for that gif right?! You made me spit out my dayum soda all over my monitor!


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## jada1111 (Nov 12, 2011)

ms-gg said:


> Your girl Himan10nence is going to be on Dr Drew
> 
> 
> 
> http://wildfire.gigya.com/facebook/...iMmI5NDY4Zjg2NDMyOWM*ZTdlZWZiYzEmb2Y9MA==&s=1



You know this is making some people burn even more than usual now, right?

This "beneath contempt" and "vulgar" negro woman is now going to be on the national stage to showcase her ignorantness for all the world to see making us "good" negroes look bad.  

Good for you Himay10nenece!!!


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## jada1111 (Nov 12, 2011)

destine2grow said:


> @tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT you know you stupid for that gif right?! You made me spit out my dayum soda all over my monitor!



All of tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT's gifs have me rollin'!!! 

The last one had me LOLing at my desk (yes, I have a job and no, my boss won't care about my vulgar postings or videos if I make any) which caused my co-worker to ask me what I was laughing at.  I showed her from the Prince gifs on down and she started dyin' too.


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## keenyme (Nov 12, 2011)

This seems to be a bigger deal to you than anyone else.... Let it go. Dang


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## longfroinghair (Nov 12, 2011)

cami88 said:


> I am bewildered by this post right now. I said I thought you were being deliberately obtuse because it appeared as if you were consistently choosing to ignore the facts in favor of defending highmaytenence. If I had it wrong, then I apologize.





jada1111 said:


> Yes, you're "bewildered" all right.
> 
> *Don't talk to me.  Don't respond to me.  Don't acknowledge my existence on LHCF in any way, shape or fashion from this point forward. I have you on permanent ignore.
> 
> I know what time it is with you now and you will not bring me out of my character.  I have officially categorized you as a "Nikki Dior". *



Oh no 
I think cami really was trying to apologize


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## ManeStreet (Nov 12, 2011)

If this is how people conduct themselves, react to situations and communicate with others over the internet, i can only imagine what their personal lives may be like. To stir up such drama, hostility and ill-will in one's free time may be an indication of a need for positive outlets. Maybe release negative energy at the gym, in a dance class, volunteering, a youth mentorship program, etc. Because arguing, threatening, cursing and insulting people on the internet isnt facilitating positive change. I hope we can change directions and return to respectful debate and a more positive environment.


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