# This REALLY Ticks Me Off! Why Do Women Do This Mess and Then Sue!



## Shimmie (Mar 31, 2009)

It's the same old drama, (see story below) of a fallen pastor who slept with numerous women in his congregation and he's Dead Wrong!   Literally, he just died.  

HOWEVER, why do these women sleep with these men KNOWING it's wrong, and then turn around and then file suit against them?  

I'm sorry, but this makes no sense to me.   A woman can say no!  No one is forcing her to have a 2 year, or a 14 year adulterous affair with a man.  She can say NO! 

I can't tell you how many hands of men I have slapped :hardslap: just for touching my hand or arm the wrong way.   Just tell him get back or else.  Don't come at me with no mess.  :hardslap:

I just don't understand it.   The men are definitely wrong, but so are the women who consent to it.   I mean what's the worse that can happen to her for not being submissive?   The time to file a law suit is before it happens.    

Okay..... 'Calm down, Shimmie'... Calm down!   

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!  

Here's the story:

http://www.streamingfaith.com/community/announcements/announcement.aspx?AnnouncementId=1965

*Bishop Earl Paulk Dies In Atlanta Hospital
*_from Staff and Wire Reports_ 
_March 30, 2009_

Bishop Earl Paulk gained the attention of presidents and preached to hundreds of thousands of people, but he may be remembered for the sex scandals that rocked the Atlanta-area megachurch he started.

Paulk, the 81-year-old founder of the Cathedral at Chapel Hill in South DeKalb County, died Sunday at Atlanta Medical Center after battling cancer for years.

His brother, Don Paulk, said Earl Paulk was taken to the hospital Jan. 1 with a blockage of his intestines and never left.

Don Paulk, a retired minister at the Cathedral, said he hoped people would remember his brother for his good works and forgive the scandals. “Preachers are just like anyone else — they’re a man,” he said.

Numerous women have said they slept with Earl Paulk. It was disclosed in 2007 that DNA testing had proved he was the biological father of Don Paulk’s son, the Rev. D.E. Paulk, now leader of the church.

Earl Paulk’s low point may have come in January 2008, when the bishop pleaded guilty to lying under oath by denying affairs with other women. A judge fined Paulk $1,000 and put him on probation for 10 years.

A lawsuit by a former female church employee had sparked the chain of events leading to the guilty plea. Mona Brewer alleged that Paulk coerced her into a 14-year affair.

She said in a telephone interview Sunday that her suit against the church will “absolutely” continue.

“I’m still kind of sorting out how I feel,” Brewer said of Earl Paulk’s death. “It’s a tough one. It’s sort of like [being] in a train wreck right now.”
Paulk’s influence peaked in the 1980s and 1990s, when he was a national leader among independent charismatic churches. He built a huge, racially integrated congregation at the Cathedral at Chapel Hill. Membership was about 10,000 in the early 1990s.

Paulk enlarged his influence with his books and televised church services. President Ronald Reagan invited Paulk to a White House prayer breakfast, and President George H.W. Bush named Paulk’s public housing ministry one of his thousand points of light.

But the congregation shrank as Paulk’s sexual indiscretions came to light. Officials last year announced that the church campus is on the market for $24.5 million. Its membership had dwindled to about 1,000.
Earl Pearly Paulk began his ministry at 17 in his father’s church in Greenville, S.C. He graduated from Furman University and earned his seminary degree from the Candler School of Theology at Emory University.
Paulk was plagued by allegations of sexual misconduct since the 1960s.

In 1992, six women publicly accused Paulk, his brother and two nephews — all ministers — of sexual manipulation. The women said the men talked about “kingdom” relationships not bound by earthly interpretations of morality. One of the six, the bishop’s biographer and ghostwriter, Tricia Weeks, said she had had a two-year affair with Earl Paulk.

He denied that, but admitted to having had an adulterous relationship in 1960 when he was pastor of what was then known as Hemphill Church of God, now Mount Paran Church of God. He left the Church of God denomination and formed a church that over the years was called Chapel Hill Harvester, the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit and the Cathedral at Chapel Hill.

In 2001, Jessica Battle, a former liturgical dancer at the church, sued Paulk, claiming he molested her when she was a child and teenager. Paulk denied the allegations, and the suit was settled out of court. Brewer subsequently filed her own lawsuit.

In 2007 came word that a DNA test had proven Paulk had impregnated his brother’s wife.

Don Paulk forgave his brother, saying the revelation that his son was fathered by his brother “makes no difference in my love for my brother or my son. In the world that we live in, people are human beings.”
And, Don Paulk said, he still loves his wife of 48 years.

On Sunday morning, church member Joy Weathersby, 21, of Lithonia said she has been attending the church since she was a child.

“I think he was a very nice person,” Weathersby said of Earl Paulk. “I know the stuff that was going on, but his messages really taught me a lot of things about life.”

Survivors beside Don Paulk include Earl Paulk’s wife, Norma Davis Paulk; daughters Susan Joy Owens and Roma Beth Bonner; sisters Myrtle Mushegan, Ernestine Swilley and Darlene Swilley; eight grandchildren; and several great-grandchildren.

No funeral arrangements had been announced as of Sunday evening.


© StreamingFaith.com all rights reserved​
I used to see him on TBN.  I wish someone had written a kinder story about him.  Yes, he was wrong, but all they did was share his sin; no mention of anything good he may have done. 

May he rest in peace and that he repented before he passed away.​


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## Nice & Wavy (Mar 31, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> It's the same old drama, (see story below) of a fallen pastor who slept with numerous women in his congregation and he's Dead Wrong! Literally, he just died.
> 
> HOWEVER, why do these women sleep with these men KNOWING it's wrong, and then turn around and then file suit against them?
> 
> ...


People love to have their cake, and eat it too!

What a shame..it's sickening to even read about this kind of mess.


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## aribell (Mar 31, 2009)

Well, I suppose that was the legacy that he left.  Though, it is unfair that the women can now point the blame on him:  "Mona Brewer alleged that Paulk _coerced _her into a *14-year affair*."  

What makes me upset about it is that this will be another story that people take and say, "See, all men cheat; not even ministers are faithful."  It's really sad.


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## BeautifulFlower (Mar 31, 2009)

See this is why I made that "I'd make a lousy god" thread. 

Because this is non-sense. I dont care what NO ONE says...you take the oath to lead people as a pastor of a church, you also understand that you can't be acting like a Da*m fool. I mean for goodness sake's...he is the BIOLOGICAL father of his brother's son. Thats just ridiculous. Why would anyone follow a man like that? You just give the men in your congregatiion a pass to act like da*m fools. What happened to the fruit of the Spirit, huh? HAVE SOME SELF CONTROL you nasty....Lord keep me near the cross..

The women...no real words...coerced? Please you thought you was gonna be first lady one day. And when that didnt happen...you got mad, wanted some attention, and wanted some money. Someone please throw out this case...its ridiculous...

Forgive me lord for passing judgement...thats why I am not You!


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## PaperClip (Mar 31, 2009)

Ok... a couple of random musings....

The obituary/eulogy will highlight and celebrate his works....

In journalism school, we were taught that when writing such profiles, to include a "tragic flaw" so the person wouldn't come off as perfect. 

So as long as the "tragic flaw" is TRUE/FACTUAL, that trumps libel/slander

Fact: he did father his nephew/son (remember that term from "Girlfriends"? LOL!)

Fact: he did lie under oath.

Looks like this man had a "David/Solomon" issue (women).

As far as the affairs? Eeek! Um... well... from what's stated here, there could be a case for sexual harrassment. The woman coerced into a 14-year affair could say she was being blackmailed or she kept up the affair to keep her job. I'm saying that's an argument she could use. Now will it work? (Shrugs).

Further, when it rains, it pours. It appears that at least one lawsuit was settled out of court so there's a precedent....

It's an unfortunate situation.... Mercy and grace all around....


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## Shimmie (Mar 31, 2009)

Nice & Wavy said:


> People love to have their cake, and eat it too!
> 
> What a shame..it's sickening to even read about this kind of mess.


I didn't expect to read this about him, especially in so much detail.  I'm more upset with the women.   They knew it was wrong and they didn't have to succomb to it.   And I'm really upset that they have the nerve to file suit against him.   The women are just at fault.  It takes 2 to sin he didn't do it alone.  

I'm sorry sis, I'm venting 

Hugs to you.


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## Shimmie (Mar 31, 2009)

FoxyScholar said:


> Ok... a couple of random musings....
> 
> The obituary/eulogy will highlight and celebrate his works....
> 
> ...


Thanks sis.... 

I know he was wrong.  But the entire time I was reading the article, I couldn't get past the women who did not have to help him sin.  

Think about it.  Neither you nor I would ever let this happen.  Someone would be missing a body part.  

I'm serious.   

I've had a few 'advances' but they were put in perspective with a quickness!   I think just about all women are approached the wrong way, afterall, satan does come to Church, seeking whom he may devour.  

However, I'll smack the mess out of satan too, and think nothing of it.  

Just venting....


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## Shimmie (Mar 31, 2009)

prettyfaceANB said:


> See this is why I made that "I'd make a lousy god" thread.
> 
> Because this is non-sense. I dont care what NO ONE says...you take the oath to lead people as a pastor of a church, you also understand that you can't be acting like a Da*m fool. I mean for goodness sake's...he is the BIOLOGICAL father of his brother's son. Thats just ridiculous. Why would anyone follow a man like that? You just give the men in your congregatiion a pass to act like da*m fools. What happened to the fruit of the Spirit, huh? HAVE SOME SELF CONTROL you nasty....Lord keep me near the cross..
> 
> ...


 

This is my point.  I've seen women all up in men's faces with a whole bunch of mess.   Don't no man have that much power, I don't care who he is or what he does.    The very minute he makes a pass is the time to expose his !  

I'd go straight to his wife.   Nine times out of ten, she already knows how he is.  And if that didn't work, I'd go to the head of the Church.... Jesus! 

I'd go to Jesus first, anyway and then leave the Church!  Leave!  Ain't nothing there for me to stay for.  Just leave and keep it moving.  

Okay, Shimmie..... Just breathe.....


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## Nice & Wavy (Mar 31, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> I didn't expect to read this about him, especially in so much detail. I'm more upset with the women. They knew it was wrong and they didn't have to succomb to it. And I'm really upset that they have the nerve to file suit against him. The women are just at fault. It takes 2 to sin he didn't do it alone.
> 
> I'm sorry sis, I'm venting
> 
> Hugs to you.


Chile, what you sorry for...you know I'm gangsta when we are on the phone...I'm just chillin on the set that's all

Girl, you just wait until I call you up about this one


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## Shimmie (Mar 31, 2009)

nicola.kirwan said:


> Well, I suppose that was the legacy that he left. Though, it is unfair that the women can now point the blame on him: "Mona Brewer alleged that Paulk _coerced _her into a *14-year affair*."
> 
> What makes me upset about it is that this will be another story that people take and say, "See, all men cheat; not even ministers are faithful." It's really sad.


Thanks Nicola ... 

And you're right about the 'another story' syndrom.  Here's where we can set the standard and prove them all wrong.


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## Shimmie (Apr 1, 2009)

Nice & Wavy said:


> Chile, what you sorry for...you know I'm gangsta when we are on the phone...I'm just chillin on the set that's all
> 
> Girl, you just wait until I call you up about this one


Sis....  Thank you so much.  What would I do without you?  I don't even want to know.

I just got ticked off, reading about all those women, all of sudden crying the 'victim'.    

Wait a minute.........  Lemme Breathe.......   

  

And look, I thought we heated up the phone this past weekend?   Now Verizon is gonna need more "Can you hear me now"?  

And guess what else upset me?  

I was finna' to DC treat my hair and scalp with my Amla Hair Oil.... 

Man!    

Hugs to you and hubby.


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## Shimmie (Apr 1, 2009)

Angels thank you all so much for allowing me to vent.  

I'm going to put my Amla oil on my hair and scalp and then I'm going to bed.

I just wanted to bless each of you and may each of your loving Dreams come true.

:Rose:  Sweet Sleep Everyone...   

All of our cares will keep; Jesus has them close to His heart.


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## Nice & Wavy (Apr 1, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> Sis.... Thank you so much. What would I do without you? I don't even want to know.
> 
> I just got ticked off, reading about all those women, all of sudden crying the 'victim'.
> 
> ...


You know I'm right there wit cha!  Chile, TMobile and Verizon gonna love us

Finna....


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## Raspberry (Apr 1, 2009)

He impregnated his brother's wife tho??  That mess is crazy, the "he's just a man" excuse is not sufficient at all.  That man had a sex addiction and needed to be delivered.  

Not saying he never did anything for the Lord because clearly he did, but that's why Paul said he beat his body into submission lest he be disqualified from the race he's leading other folks to run.  God tells us to feel immorality because He knows more than any of us how damaging it is to our spiritual legacies - just another preacher non-believers can point to as an example of hypocrisy.  

Also, where was the spiritual authority over Paulk in his denominations - aren't they responsible for telling him to step down when things aren't right behind the pulpit?


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## Ms.Honey (Apr 1, 2009)

Pastors and ministers will be judged twice for a reason. The Lord holds them accountable for the souls under their teachings. They are SUPPOSED to MINISTER, AT ALL TIMES. 

*Hbr 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that [is] unprofitable for you.  *

He took advantage of her NO MATTER WHAT. Whether she was a whore when she met him or living in righteousness he should not have slept with her but ministered grace unto her. These women come to church looking for someone to pay attention to them and care for them and these "pastors" see this weakness in them and use it to fulfill their OWN lust. They use their congregations as their own little kingdoms and the pulpit as their thrones where they sit in judgment of others while doing the same the accuse others of.  No matter WHAT she was, she was supposed to find refuge in the church.

 She should sue. If the congregation didn't know he was cruddy, the elders of the church sure did. He took advantage of one of God's innocents and they stood back and allowed it to happen. The Lord exposes His own for their cruddiness not the devil. The gates of hell can not prevail over the church but Jesus reigns.


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## Carolina18 (Apr 1, 2009)

Ms.Honey said:


> He took advantage of her NO MATTER WHAT. Whether she was a whore when she met him or living in righteousness he should not have slept with her but ministered grace unto her. These women come to church looking for someone to pay attention to them and care for them and these "pastors" see this weakness in them and use it to fulfill their OWN lust. They use their congregations as their own little kingdoms and the pulpit as their thrones where they sit in judgment of others while doing the same the accuse others of.  No matter WHAT she was, she was supposed to find refuge in the church.
> 
> She should sue. If the congregation didn't know he was cruddy, the elders of the church sure did. He took advantage of one of God's innocents and they stood back and allowed it to happen. The Lord exposes His own for their cruddiness not the devil. The gates of hell can not prevail over the church but Jesus reigns.



 I'm more inclined to go with this argument. It seems that this sort of sexual manipulation was a family thing - perhaps that's why his brother is so quick to point out that he was just 'a man':



Shimmie said:


> In 1992, six women publicly accused Paulk, his brother and two nephews — all ministers — of sexual manipulation. *The women said the men talked about “kingdom” relationships not bound by earthly interpretations of morality.* One of the six, the bishop’s biographer and ghostwriter, Tricia Weeks, said she had had a two-year affair with Earl Paulk.



I mean, come on. The number of women involved in this scandal indicates to me that there was some serious manipulation being done by the male heads of that Church. How would so many women have been "sucked in" to that extent? I am not suggesting that none of them were simply being opportunistic, but it reflects worse on the Pastor IMO, if only for the fact that the affairs are frequent and numerous. These trends unfortunately tend to overshadow any 'good works' one did, because once some people detect bad fruit, they throw all the fruit out, and rightly so. 

This is not just a case of momentary 'weakness', but systematic sexual exploitation. IMO adultery is a largely premeditated endeavour. If a pastor finds himself being lured into it, I would expect him to take his own advice and go to God first with his struggles. He of all people should know the importance of that step when fighting temptation. Giving in so easily and so often, which in turn indicated that he didn't seek (or even care about?) God's strength to resolve his issues just made him look like a hypocrite in other areas of his ministry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRLu6p1hxwY


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## dlewis (Apr 1, 2009)

I think women get some kind of thrill having sex with a man they feel is so close to Gd.  Weird I know.

I've seen so much stuff happen in the church....that's why I have a hand-shake only rule when it comes to contact with men.  No hugging.


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## BeautifulFlower (Apr 1, 2009)

dlewis said:


> I think women get some kind of thrill having sex with a man they feel is so close to Gd. Weird I know.
> 
> I've seen so much stuff happen in the church....*that's why I have a hand-shake only rule when it comes to contact with men. No hugging*.


 
I should use this. I now only have the no eye-contact with married men rule. I always tense up when I see a ring.


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## BeautifulFlower (Apr 1, 2009)

The pastor were very wrong for manipulating these women into sexual immorality. They should have been punished for their actions. These men took advantage of their power seats and used it for their own lust. As many celebrity ministers have done, they use the pulpit to advance their own agenda. Its has nothing to do with Jesus, and ALL their 'good works' have an alterior motive.

I am also a strong advocate for taking full responsibility for one's actions. Regardless of the level of manipulation, unless the women was molested, raped, or very young, there's little to no excuse if you know that the bible has said Thou shall no commit sexual immorality (adultery and fornication etc.). I am sure he preached a few messages on it in his lifetime. People can not make their minister responsible for your walk with God. And for that women that had a 12 or 14 (?) year affair with him, she knew what was up. In my opinion, so did all the others. Women are attracted to power. Some women are opportunistic. They figure they'll be the first lady one day and head the MegaChurch with him one day. Or have his children and get that sucka...or whatever. There are alot of nasty women in the church and if they know the pastor is a hoe, why not exploit his weakness to get what I want? And when they dont get it, they sue. 

Its foul play on both ends and all will be judged. If their should be any lawsuit, it should be against the corporation of that Church holding the heads responsible for not impeaching him. Or a lawsuit for the young girl that was molested. But that other woman's lawsuit in my opinion is ridiculous. No body made you open your legs for 14 years.


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## Shimmie (Apr 1, 2009)

Raspberry said:


> He impregnated his brother's wife tho?? That mess is crazy, the "he's just a man" excuse is not sufficient at all. That man had a sex addiction and needed to be delivered.
> 
> Not saying he never did anything for the Lord because clearly he did, but that's why Paul said he beat his body into submission lest he be disqualified from the race he's leading other folks to run. God tells us to feel immorality because He knows more than any of us how damaging it is to our spiritual legacies - just another preacher non-believers can point to as an example of hypocrisy.
> 
> Also, where was the spiritual authority over Paulk in his denominations - aren't they responsible for telling him to step down when things aren't right behind the pulpit?


 


Ms.Honey said:


> Pastors and ministers will be judged twice for a reason. The Lord holds them accountable for the souls under their teachings. They are SUPPOSED to MINISTER, AT ALL TIMES.
> 
> *Hbr 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that [is] unprofitable for you. *
> 
> ...


 


Carolina18 said:


> I'm more inclined to go with this argument. It seems that this sort of sexual manipulation was a family thing - perhaps that's why his brother is so quick to point out that he was just 'a man':
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 


dlewis said:


> I think women get some kind of thrill having sex with a man they feel is so close to Gd. Weird I know.
> 
> I've seen so much stuff happen in the church....that's why I have a hand-shake only rule when it comes to contact with men. No hugging.


 


prettyfaceANB said:


> I should use this. I now only have the no eye-contact with married men rule. I always tense up when I see a ring.


All of you are right; I agree with you.  This Pastor and his brothers are WRONG!   No doubt, no quibbles, no excuses   They are Wrong!

And I do wonder where the Head of their Church was?  Every Church is under a 'Covering'.  At least they are supposed to be.   We all have someone to answer to here on earth.      That's the order.

Molesting a child is totally inexcusable!   Castration would be my answer for that.   I'm not kidding.   How dare any man or woman exploit and harm a child.    

HOWEVER!  An Adult Woman having an affair for 2 YEARS!   14 Years? ! ?   Women are not that unaware!  They are not victims!  How long does it take to realize that you fell into the mud?  Get up and take a bath.  Take off the muddy garments and put on the new. Get right with the Lord again.  Get out of the muddy sin. 

They weren't even good looking men (ie: Sexually Attractive).   They were OLD!    

Geeeeee Whiz!


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## dlewis (Apr 1, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> All of you are right; I agree with you.  This Pastor and his brothers are WRONG!   No doubt, no quibbles, no excuses   They are Wrong!
> 
> And I do wonder where the Head of their Church was?  Every Church is under a 'Covering'.  At least they are supposed to be.   We all have someone to answer to here on earth.      That's the order.
> 
> ...



You know they were having a good ole time.  Sexing in the church, laughing up in the wifes face.  So sad.  14 years!!!!! how does he force you to be the other woman for 14 years.


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## Shimmie (Apr 1, 2009)

dlewis said:


> I think women get some kind of thrill having sex with a man they feel is so close to Gd. Weird I know.
> 
> I've seen so much stuff happen in the church....that's why I have a hand-shake only rule when it comes to contact with men. No hugging.


 
  Hey Lady D.....    Miss you.  

And I do agree about the handshake policy.   I only allow hugs from those I've known for a while or am comfortable with.   Even the hugs are at a distance and in order.   

I've smacked many a hand that tried to take of mine in the wrong way.


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Apr 1, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> I just don't understand it. The men are definitely wrong, but so are the women who consent to it. I mean what's the worse that can happen to her for not being submissive? The time to file a law suit is before it happens.
> 
> Okay..... 'Calm down, Shimmie'... Calm down!
> 
> GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!


 
They simply did not live the scripture they were preaching about, pastors and congregants involved.  But it's evidence that G-d invites all, right?  What matters is what one does with the truth, until the very last moment of life.

And I agree with the religious abuse accusations.  It's a real problem in the world.  They are so sharp to be able to manipulate people in such a way, esp. women.


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## Shimmie (Apr 1, 2009)

dlewis said:


> You know they were having a good ole time. Sexing in the church, laughing up in the wifes face.
> 
> *So sad. 14 years!!!!! how does he force you to be the other woman for 14 years*.


  

Lady D, THAT's why I got so ticked off!!!!!!  Even the one for two years! 

But for* 14 Years ?????* 

Come on!   Was she sleep?   Drugged?   Smoking pot?  Did they get stuck to each other with some kind of glue, that we don't know about? 

I don't get!     I just don't get it!     

And then turn around and file a lawsuit ?????   

Someone please clue me in!   What kind of force did he use?   She had the power to sue him from day one of his approach.   

I don't get it!   What was the force?   He was too old even 14 years ago to force anything to happen.   He was 67.......Gee whiz!  What did she want with a 67 year old man????

They oughta' ban Viagra!


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## Shimmie (Apr 1, 2009)

GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> They simply did not live the scripture they were preaching about, pastors and congregants involved. But it's evidence that G-d invites all, right? What matters is what one does with the truth, until the very last moment of life.
> 
> And I agree with the religious abuse accusations. It's a real problem in the world. They are so sharp to be able to manipulate people in such a way, esp. women.


You're right .... GV  

I'm still processing the reality of this.  

But GV...... How?    How and what are they doing to manipulate these women.    I mean, had it been me, I would have the power over him, by exposing him.   

With all of the technology we have available, he'd be hung out to dry in no time.  (Camera phone; phone recorder, web cam, text msgs. etc.).  I'd be sure to utilize one of these methods to hang him.


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Apr 1, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> You're right .... GV
> 
> I'm still processing the reality of this.
> 
> ...


 

Yes, that's it.  You have high self-esteem.  They aren't looking for you because they know you will not be having it!  They look for weak women who are easily manipulated.  I don't think it's any different than these guys having multiple children from a hareem of women lol.  They have the right words to get what they want from weak women.


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## dlewis (Apr 1, 2009)

GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> Yes, that's it.  You have high self-esteem.  They aren't looking for you because they know you will not be having it!  They look for weak women who are easily manipulated.  I don't think it's any different than these guys having multiple children from a hareem of women lol.  They have the right words to get what they want from weak women.



That makes sense.


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Apr 1, 2009)

dlewis said:


> That makes sense.


 

There are many organizations dealing with religious abuse, some of them built into a magisterium of that faith.  This is basically no diff. than that group marrying off young girls or having multiple wives out West.  This is dangerously close to Jim Jones' and other cults because who knows just how far it wen?    It's scary.


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## Nice & Wavy (Apr 1, 2009)

GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> Yes, that's it. You have high self-esteem. They aren't looking for you because they know you will not be having it! They look for weak women who are easily manipulated. I don't think it's any different than these guys having multiple children from a hareem of women lol. They have the right words to get what they want from weak women.


 
I agree with you that they are weak woman...however, most 'weak women' know right from wrong too.  14 years is a very long time to be 'weak'...ya know?

I'm not blaming the women here...I can't say what I want to say about the pastor in this situation here on the forumbut, what I can say is that it takes two people to do it....


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## BeautifulFlower (Apr 1, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> *They weren't even good looking men (ie: Sexually Attractive). They were OLD! *
> 
> *Geeeeee Whiz! *


 
Thats what I am saying. I was looking for some attractive black men.  I saw that old dude was like...WORD?!?!? Thats nasty!


And if the pastors are doing it YOU KNOW the congregation is having at it. Sheep follow the shepherd, right? It was probably one big orgy, everybody being slaves to their loins.

Ok, im done


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## BlackHairDiva (Apr 1, 2009)

The reason why they do it is because they thought they could be the "one " who could make the man stop it all and remain faithful to them only. Then when they noticed  he isnt changing and that he sees her has just another cookie in the factory chain. The woman calls foul and sues.


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## Shimmie (Apr 1, 2009)

Thanks again Ladies,  I agree with each of you.   

However.......................... *sigh*

Okay, each of you help me out with this one.   I'm serious!

What in the  Hell was wrong with his sister in law?   

SOMEONE just tell me!   

Now HE WAS TRULY WRONG!   Truly !!!!! 

But what made HER do it? --- (Key Words here:  *"MADE"* her do it)

I'm just asking.     I mean she got pregnant!   

Okay, Shimme.   Just breathe and relax.   Just relax.     

Don't brothers have the same DNA?   Or is it twin brothers?


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## Shimmie (Apr 1, 2009)

BlackHairDiva said:


> The reason why they do it is because they thought they could be the "one " who could make the man stop it all and remain faithful to them only. Then when they noticed he isnt changing and that he sees her has just another cookie in the factory chain. The woman calls foul and sues.


 


prettyfaceANB said:


> Thats what I am saying. I was looking for some attractive black men.  I saw that old dude was like...WORD?!?!? Thats nasty!
> 
> 
> And if the pastors are doing it YOU KNOW the congregation is having at it. Sheep follow the shepherd, right? It was probably one big orgy, everybody being slaves to their loins.
> ...


 


Nice & Wavy said:


> I agree with you that they are weak woman...however, most 'weak women' know right from wrong too. 14 years is a very long time to be 'weak'...ya know?
> 
> I'm not blaming the women here...I can't say what I want to say about the pastor in this situation here on the forumbut, what I can say is that it takes two people to do it....


 


GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> There are many organizations dealing with religious abuse, some of them built into a magisterium of that faith. This is basically no diff. than that group marrying off young girls or having multiple wives out West. This is dangerously close to Jim Jones' and other cults because who knows just how far it wen?  It's scary.


 


dlewis said:


> That makes sense.


 


GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> Yes, that's it. You have high self-esteem. They aren't looking for you because they know you will not be having it! They look for weak women who are easily manipulated. I don't think it's any different than these guys having multiple children from a hareem of women lol. They have the right words to get what they want from weak women.


 
I agree with all of you 1000 per cent.


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## Ms.Honey (Apr 1, 2009)

When did Jesus EVER blame the woman? He didn't blame Eve in the garden and He didn't blame the woman caught in adultery. Yes they will have to answer for what's done in their bodies good and evil and no one is without excuse BUT Jesus ALWAYS made it known who was ULTIMATELY at fault. Eve knew she wasn't supposed to eat the fruit but THE LORD SAID that the satan deceived her. 

*Gen 3:13 And the LORD God said unto the woman, What [is] this [that] thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.  

Gen 3:14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou [art] cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:  *



2Ti 3:1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.  

2Ti 3:2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,  

2Ti 3:3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,  

*2Ti 3:4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;  

2Ti 3:5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.  *

*2Ti 3:6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, ** 

2Ti 3:7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.  *

2Ti 3:8 Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: *men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.  

2Ti 3:9 But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all [men], as theirs also was.  *


...


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## Carolina18 (Apr 1, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> Thanks again Ladies,  I agree with each of you.
> 
> However.......................... *sigh*
> 
> ...




The same thing that made him do it. I'm honestly failing to see the distinction being made here. As indicated in the article, and on various news reports, there appears to have been systematic sexual manipulation and exploitation by the male heads of the church, including his brother. Perhaps his readiness to point out that Paulks was 'just a man' may answer your question.


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## Ms.Honey (Apr 1, 2009)

Also, it's like the relationship with doctors and patients ESPECIALLY therapists. When therapists have relationships with their patients even the world sees the therapist is at fault and the THERAPIST is blamed and punished NOT the patient.

How much more should pastors and ministers who God sent to counsel us be held at fault and punished NOT the victim. The woman caught in adultery knew EXACTLY what she was doing too BUT Jesus chastised the MEN yet told HER He forgave her and told her to go (leave her lifestyle) and sin no more.


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## BeautifulFlower (Apr 1, 2009)

Even the bible talk about deceitful women. 

The ministers are at fault...Yes so true...should be punished, impeached, jailed whatever...

However, to sue for your 14 years of adultery is ridiculous...

It gives insecure women across the world an excuse to play foul, be victimized, and not be held accountable for your actions.


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## Nice & Wavy (Apr 1, 2009)

There are Shepherds and then there are Hirelings.  We should know a man and a woman by their fruits.

When Jesus told the men who caught the woman in act of adultery "he who has no sin, cast the first stone" he also said to the woman "go and sin no more".  He spoke to all of them.

ETA: Those who teach the gospel in any area, are going to be held responsible for what they say and do, not just those who preach in a pulpit on Sunday mornings.  

We must ALL give account for our actions.


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## BeautifulFlower (Apr 1, 2009)

Someone once said Satan can not make you do anything. He can only make suggestions. Unless you were under the age of 21, raped or molested....


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## Ms.Honey (Apr 1, 2009)

Sinners go to church. 

The church has a responsibilty to teach righteousness to deliver sinners from sin. We KNOW why the women did it. They were born in sin and shaped in iniquity. What their intents and motives were are irrelevant and border on gossip because we can only speculate. They have not confessed to the reason why.

We also KNOW what the church is supposed to do with sinners. Preach the gospel UNCOMPROMISINGLY until they know the truth, developing a personal relationship WITH the truth and become able to make their flesh submit to the truth.

These women are no more sinners with special abilities over their flesh than any other sinner that WE ALL HAVE BEEN that needs to be delivered that enters the church but they should have been able to find safety in the church while the Lord healed them. There is a safe place in God. They did not find it in that church.

We need to watch those beams in our eyes instead of focusing on these sisters, yep sisters just like us, splinters.


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## Nice & Wavy (Apr 1, 2009)

Anyways....thank you Shimmie for this thread.  ITA with you and I know your heart regarding this matter.

You are a wonderful sister in Christ and I thank God for you everyday!

N&W


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Apr 1, 2009)

Nice & Wavy said:


> I agree with you that they are weak woman...however, most 'weak women' know right from wrong too. 14 years is a very long time to be 'weak'...ya know?
> 
> I'm not blaming the women here...I can't say what I want to say about the pastor in this situation here on the forumbut, what I can say is that it takes two people to do it....


 
Well, I'm not saying those women get a sin-free pass, I'm saying that this is how these men manipulate them.  Once you're sexually involved, it's hard to break that emotional need of that person.  And the stronger?  The manipulator who is getting that cake and eating it too.  Disgusting.  Those in a position of authority have so much weight...and so much guilt.  

That addiction to that man/woman becomes chemical, even.  I feel so sorry for them but how much of this is prevalent in any religion anywhere?  So much abuse...and behind closed door with pious, white-washed holy-looking doors.  It's scary...to go yourself and to send your precious children   I guess what I cannot stand, men preying on women and children.


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Apr 1, 2009)

prettyfaceANB said:


> Even the bible talk about deceitful women.
> 
> The ministers are at fault...Yes so true...should be punished, impeached, jailed whatever...
> 
> ...


 

Ahahahaha.  She is a woman scorned!!!  Lucky for him, she didn't give him a Colombian necklace instead 

This reminds me of what my devout friend told me about men after you get a divorce.  One of her dear male friends told her to beware of guys who can sniff you out (sexless).  They will try anything to bend you into their will, esp. a divorcee.  I think that for weaker women (emotional problems, at a juncture of life, depressed, trauma from tragedy etc.), they are like blinkling neon signs for these kinds of dudes.  They can sniff them out like a hound dog.  Our psychological makeup is so distinct and prone to manipulation.  All women need to keep themselves on guard.  This certainly was a good thread because I'm a divorcee (however, not at all crazy lol) and I'm about to discover a new congregation.  G-d help me.


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## Nice & Wavy (Apr 1, 2009)

GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> Well, I'm not saying those women get a sin-free pass, I'm saying that this is how these men manipulate them. Once you're sexually involved, it's hard to break that emotional need of that person. And the stronger? The manipulator who is getting that cake and eating it too. Disgusting. Those in a position of authority have so much weight...and so much guilt.
> 
> That addiction to that man/woman becomes chemical, even. I feel so sorry for them but how much of this is prevalent in any religion anywhere? So much abuse...and behind closed door with pious, white-washed holy-looking doors. It's scary...to go yourself and to send your precious children  I guess what I cannot stand, men preying on women and children.


Hurt people, hurt people.  I see it everyday and deal with it constantly with people.  The church is full of hurt people who want to be healed.

Like I said before...there are shepherds and then there are hirelings.


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## BeautifulFlower (Apr 1, 2009)

GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> I feel so sorry for them but how much of this is prevalent in any religion anywhere? So much abuse...and behind closed door with pious, white-washed holy-looking doors. It's scary...to go yourself and to send your precious children  I guess what I cannot stand, men preying on women and children.


 
So true...Christian, Muslim, Catholic, Buddhist, etc...it so wide spread. People are looking for refuge and instead they get more abuse...

She is a woman scorned!!! LOL. I know how she feels. Used and abused. But she gotta get up, learn your lessons in the valley and like Jesus said "Go and SIN NO MORE"


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## momi (Apr 1, 2009)

prettyfaceANB said:


> Even the bible talk about deceitful women.
> 
> The ministers are at fault...Yes so true...should be punished, impeached, jailed whatever...
> 
> ...


 

1 Timothy 2
_10But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. _

_ 11Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. __ 12But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. _
_13For Adam was first formed, then Eve. _
*14And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.* 

Yes, I think that we are more easily deceived.  This church is right down the street from my house.  There has been so much mess going over there it is ridiculous.  Now the son-phew (that is what we call the son who thought he was the nephew) has bought the inclusion gospel hook, line, and sinker.  When I drive by they always have some type of obscure quote on the marquee like: You are your own reality ...

I pray that God have mercy on them and the their eyes are open to the Truth.


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## momi (Apr 1, 2009)

prettyfaceANB said:


> So true...Christian, Muslim, Catholic, Buddhist, etc...it so wide spread. People are looking for refuge and instead they get more abuse...
> 
> She is a woman scorned!!! LOL. I know how she feels. Used and abused. But she gotta get up, learn your lessons in the valley and like Jesus said "Go and SIN NO MORE"


 

It is not that simple. This was a HUGE church - a mega-church before anone knew of mega!  They were one of the first churches that I know of to own property of this magnitude.  The cathedral is huge, they had restraurants, subdivisions, it was absolutely beautiful in its best day.  The Paulk family seemed to be very close knit (well obviously)... it is hard to explain, but I can definitely see how she got herself caught up.  They were seemingly a very powerful family with influence in the local and religious community.  Think Dallas...


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## aribell (Apr 1, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> HOWEVER! An Adult Woman having an affair for 2 YEARS! 14 Years? ! ? Women are not that unaware! They are not victims! How long does it take to realize that you fell into the mud? Get up and take a bath. Take off the muddy garments and put on the new. Get right with the Lord again. Get out of the muddy sin.
> 
> They weren't even good looking men (ie: Sexually Attractive). They were OLD!
> 
> Geeeeee Whiz!


 
It sounds like there was some manipulation of the Gospel going on there, too--the whole "heavenly relationships" thing.  So, they likely convinced the women that it all really was okay and spiritual.  It sounds like they all were living under a spell that was just lifted and they're seeing things clearly now, and are angry.

But in general, I think women in particular put too much faith in ministers, particularly male ministers, and sometimes even look to them to fill personal needs, and that just leaves them open to being manipulated, particularly if they are already weak-minded and weak-willed.


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## BeautifulFlower (Apr 1, 2009)

Very true, I agree, and nothing is ever that simple. But I think we are making two different points here. I am referring to sexual abuse point is widespread among all religions. I am not sure what point you were making to me...???



momi said:


> It is not that simple. This was a HUGE church - a mega-church before anone knew of mega! They were one of the first churches that I know of to own property of this magnitude. The cathedral is huge, they had restraurants, subdivisions, it was absolutely beautiful in its best day. The Paulk family seemed to be very close knit (well obviously)... it is hard to explain, but I can definitely see how she got herself caught up. They were seemingly a very powerful family with influence in the local and religious community. Think Dallas...


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## Shimmie (Apr 1, 2009)

GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> Ahahahaha. She is a woman scorned!!! Lucky for him, she didn't give him a Colombian necklace instead
> 
> This reminds me of what my devout friend told me about men after you get a divorce. One of her dear male friends told her to beware of guys who can sniff you out (sexless). They will try anything to bend you into their will, esp. a divorcee. I think that for weaker women (emotional problems, at a juncture of life, depressed, trauma from tragedy etc.), they are like blinkling neon signs for these kinds of dudes. They can sniff them out like a hound dog. Our psychological makeup is so distinct and prone to manipulation. All women need to keep themselves on guard. This certainly was a good thread because I'm a divorcee (however, not at all crazy lol) and I'm about to discover a new congregation. G-d help me.


 
GV, what's a 'Columbian Necklace' ?

Thanks in advance ...


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## Shimmie (Apr 1, 2009)

Nice & Wavy said:


> Anyways....thank you Shimmie for this thread. ITA with you and I know your heart regarding this matter.
> 
> You are a wonderful sister in Christ and I thank God for you everyday!
> 
> N&W


 
:Rose:   Thank you sis.   

  But I've been so busy working today that I've missed all the fun communicating with you all.   

But you know what?   You All are SMOKIN".   Your responses are awesome!   I'm learning a  lot from each and everyone of you.  

You all even calmed me down....   

Carry on....


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## momi (Apr 1, 2009)

prettyfaceANB said:


> Very true, I agree, and nothing is ever that simple. But I think we are making two different points here. I am referring to sexual abuse point is widespread among all religions. *I am not sure what point you were making to me..*.???


 

That makes two of us...


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## BeautifulFlower (Apr 1, 2009)

So yeah, we're just not even there...cool...two different places.



momi said:


> That makes two of us...


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## AnnDriena_ (Apr 2, 2009)

I love how the brother is soooo forgiving and then you find out why. He's a scumbag too. Yes I said scumbag. We all sin but who gets up in the morning and plans this crap. You know these men had to plot and plan to carry on this mess.

The women get no pass from me except the girl who was molested. Yeah old' boy woulda lost his jewels over that one. I don't care how christian I am. 

As for the kingdom relationships. That was the fault of these women for not being in the word. There's no way you can convince me of some ish like that. That's why I'm still a virgin now.

LADIES. We need to have boundaries. Honestly if you don't have any you need some now. 
Have you decided what type of touching and intimacy is appropriate before you get into the situation?

I know for a fact there is no need for a married man to be in my house.

There is no need for him to be counseling me. There are too many women available. In the church and outside. It WAS a megachurch for heavens' sake.

On a date how far do you go? 

Do you kiss on the first date?

When do you even grant a date? Does he need to be given the run down about your morals? I mean c'mon let's have some standards. Not every guy who asks deserves a date with you. That's right I said it. DESERVES. What do I think I am some kind of sparkling Queen. No baby I'm more than that, I'm a child of God and I will treat myself as such and YOU will too or I will pull a Daniel Day Lewis and There Will Be Blood.


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## AnnDriena_ (Apr 2, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> GV, what's a 'Columbian Necklace' ?
> 
> Thanks in advance ...


 
Correct me If I'm wrong but I think it's whats also known as a Columbian necktie. The mob used to do it......Get ready because this is GRAPHIC......



You slit someone throat really deep and you pull their tongue down through the slit (the tongue is much longer than what you see in your mouth their is tissue connected to it in you throat too).
When you pull the tongue through the slit it hangs there like a necktie..Told you it was graphic.


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## BeautifulFlower (Apr 2, 2009)

You're my kinda girl....

And you're so right about establishing boundaries before you get yourself in situations. This way you do not get stuck thinking what do I do. You should already know. 

Married men policy: 

No direct eye contact longer than 2 seconds. I am so serious. Men get you with their eyes.
Brief, side hugs.
If you want to talk, I want to make sure your wife can see us. I also want to make sure your wife knows me.
No phone conversations.
Single men: 

No kissing until marriage.
No sex until marriage.
If we're like that, you can hold my hand.
No late night phone calls.
No lying down next to each other.
If we're at the others house, other people have to be there.
You need to be making your way home by 10p or sooner.
Mark Driscoll also made a great point and I will definitely be implementing this into my walk. Single people think they can get away with stuff because they arent married but its not true. As a single Christian person, you should always conduct ourselves as though you were married because spiritually we are. We are the bride of Christ. Therefore, if you wouldn't do it as a married couple, you shouldnt do it as a single person because you're representing your Bridegroom. 





AnnDriena_ said:


> *I love how the brother is soooo forgiving and then you find out why. He's a scumbag too. Yes I said scumbag*. We all sin but who gets up in the morning and plans this crap. You know these men had to plot and plan to carry on this mess.
> 
> The women get no pass from me except the girl who was molested. Yeah old' boy woulda lost his jewels over that one. I don't care how christian I am.
> 
> ...


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## Shimmie (Apr 2, 2009)

AnnDriena_ said:


> Correct me If I'm wrong but I think it's whats also known as a Columbian necktie. The mob used to do it......Get ready because this is GRAPHIC......
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
    Good Lord!


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## Shimmie (Apr 2, 2009)

prettyfaceANB said:


> You're my kinda girl....
> 
> And you're so right about establishing boundaries before you get yourself in situations. This way you do not get stuck thinking what do I do. You should already know.
> 
> ...


 


AnnDriena_ said:


> Correct me If I'm wrong but I think it's whats also known as a Columbian necktie. The mob used to do it......Get ready because this is GRAPHIC......
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm so impressed with you ladies.   I thought you two would like this thread.   One of my 'Blasts from the Past"   

Enjoy:  :Rose:  

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=107774&highlight=wed+bed


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Apr 2, 2009)

AnnDriena_ said:


> Correct me If I'm wrong but I think it's whats also known as a Columbian necktie. The mob used to do it......Get ready because this is GRAPHIC......
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 

Very graphic...barf.  I know it as the necklace...just meaning, slit throat.  But dang ....barf!  Queasy.  But anyhoo, I'm glad she didn't go ballistic on him and hurt him or other people.


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