# Excuses people make to justify their short and/or damaged hair



## caribeandiva (Jan 27, 2010)

This chick was just telling me the reasons her hair broke off and won't grow back:

-if you didn't have long hair as a child you'll never have long hair as an adult.

-I don't have time to waste or spend on my hair.

-I just need to start going to the salon every week like I used to and my hair will grow. <--- _sounds like wasting time *and* money to me_.

-I don't care about hair. <--- _yeah right_. _then why do you buy weaves?_

-I'm not obsessed with hair like you are. <-- _she got me there_


When she was done I told her that her excuses were just that, excuses. I showed her before and after pictures on Reniece.com and she was still skeptical. 

Some people will never get it. Save your breath and move on.


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## melissa-bee (Jan 27, 2010)

Just leave them to do their thing. If they wanna grow hair they will find out how.


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## JustKiya (Jan 27, 2010)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwrL9MV6jSk

 

They blame it on everything but themselves. 

So sad.


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## HeChangedMyName (Jan 27, 2010)

some. . .no, most. . . .actually, very few woman are as compulsive about hair care as we are.  lol  We're special.


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## Seraphina (Jan 27, 2010)

JustKiya said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwrL9MV6jSk
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'm sorry but 

I honestly think it's simply a lack of knowledge and thereby a lack of confidence that they can have healthy, long hair.  If BW hadn't collectively been taught that beautiful hair is unattainable for us, folks may put more effort into it. And since so many of us have a deep hate for our hair textures, a lot of women would just rather not deal with or think about it and focus their time/energy/money on just abusing it into submission.

Plus, if they truly believe that it's out of their reach, I think it's easier for them to pretend that they don't care.


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## Eritreladiee (Jan 27, 2010)

JustKiya said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwrL9MV6jSk
> 
> 
> 
> ...





totally wasn't expecting that...


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## caribeandiva (Jan 27, 2010)

Seraphina said:


> ...
> Plus, if they truly believe that it's out of their reach, I think it's easier for them to pretend that they don't care.


That's very true.


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## Priss Pot (Jan 27, 2010)

My roommate is like that, full of excuses.

She keeps buying products (good ones at that), but her practices are shot-to-the-curb.  I tell her that if she doesn't change her hair care practices, then the products won't matter.  She thinks that the products are some magical thing that will make her hair grow. 

She doesn't retain her length at all.  Her ends were very bad, so she got a bob last fall, like in September...it's now almost February, and her hair is still the same length :-\

She puts heat in it a whole lot, and she uses the highest temp setting of the flat-iron.  She doesn't know how to do anything in moderation.  She looks at my progress and wonders why she doesn't have much her self.

I let her fail on her own.  Sometimes, you just get tired of trying to help people who won't help themselves.


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## robot. (Jan 27, 2010)

It has been a while since I'd heard any of it and I just heard it today.

My black roommates (weaved up) were explaining to one of the white ones and they didn't have one good thing to say about hair. "It breaks off when I do this, this, and this..." I wanted to pop in the room and say, "Disclaimer: That's YOUR hair, not mine!"


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## Seraphina (Jan 27, 2010)

Priss Pot said:


> I let her fail on her own.  Sometimes, you just get tired of trying to help people who won't help themselves.



And I'm sure they get tired of us, so...


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## Qualitee (Jan 27, 2010)

Most popular "I dont got that good hair"


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## caribeandiva (Jan 27, 2010)

ROBOTxcore said:


> I wanted to pop in the room and say, "Disclaimer: That's YOUR hair, not mine!"


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## HeChangedMyName (Jan 27, 2010)

Oh, let's not forget that not everyone wants or cares to have long healthy hair.  Some people are totally cool with having short beat up hair.  keep it short and every month it's like a fresh start.  Or, they weave it up and it always looks fresh.


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## PearlyCurly (Jan 27, 2010)

Qualitee said:


> Most popular "I dont got that good hair"





My mom use to tell me i had a good grade of hair BUT it was thick???! First- whats wrong with thick hair?? I rather thick hair then little strings. Second- i didnt consider my hair "good" because it was dry(bone dry), dirty(because of her,actually! she use to tell me dirt makes my hair grow, and how my cousin only washes her hair like once a year and its down her back), and damaged!

Also when we would see a black women with long hair i.e. APL, she would say "She has good hair" or "She must be mixed"

I know this isnt a race thread, but im sorry i am tired of the stupid excuses to explain why WE(as black women) do not have long hair. Its not race or hair texture, its because we do not take care of our hair properly, plain & simple! And you cannot change any ones mind unless they experience or see it(the results) for their selves. 
So now i only give a person the same advice once. No more A-B-C, 1-2-3, over & over again.


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## Leesh (Jan 27, 2010)

caribeandiva said:


> This chick was just telling me the reasons her hair broke off and won't grow back:
> 
> -*If you didn't have long hair as a child you'll never have long hair as an adult.*
> 
> ...


 
Dang, I'm speechless, I don't have much to say! Phew!


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## complexsimplicity (Jan 27, 2010)

"I used to have long hair but I cut it." Ummm....you cut it 5 years ago boo boo. Why is it still the same length it was when you cut it?
​


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## Chaosbutterfly (Jan 27, 2010)

All my friends with damaged hair say that they like it that way and wear it that short and choppy on purpose. I just look at them like...come on son. Who cuts their ends into a W shape?


That was the story that I told too though.
When my hair first started to break at the crown, I'd tell people that I had gotten layers.
When it broke more, I told people that I was experimenting with different lengths.
And when it was all gone, like to the top of my ears, I'd tell people that I'd cut it that way. And I maintained my lie too...people would ask me how come my hair didn't grow, and I'd just be like oh..I get it cut every few months. (False)

It's easier to make up stuff than to swallow your pride and admit that you don't know wtf you're doing. And that you are scared and need help.


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## yaya24 (Jan 27, 2010)

I like weave and never plan on wearing my hair out anyway erplexed
I don't have a good grain of hair erplexed
My hair doesn't grow erplexed
Long hair doesn't run in my family erplexed
I'm not mixed... my hair won't look like the ladies on those sites erplexed


....all this from someone who has seen me go from stringy NL to healthy APL in a year


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## caribeandiva (Jan 27, 2010)

PearlyCurly said:


> My mom use to tell me i had a good grade of hair BUT it was thick???! First- whats wrong with thick hair?? I rather thick hair then little strings. Second- i didnt consider my hair "good" because it was dry(bone dry), dirty(because of her,actually! she use to tell me dirt makes my hair grow, and how my cousin only washes her hair like once a year and its down her back), and damaged!
> 
> Also when we would see a black women with long hair i.e. APL, she would say "She has good hair" or "She must be mixed"
> 
> ...


 Great post!


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## caribeandiva (Jan 27, 2010)

Leesh said:


> Dang, I'm speechless, I don't have much to say! Phew!


So was I. That was the first time I heard that one.



complexsimplicity said:


> "I used to have long hair but I cut it." Ummm....you cut it 5 years ago boo boo. Why is it still the same length it was when you cut it?
> ​


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## Priss Pot (Jan 27, 2010)

Seraphina said:


> And I'm sure they get tired of us, so...



I know girl, lol.  That's why I just give up on folks.


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## caribeandiva (Jan 27, 2010)

yaya24 said:


> I like weave and never plan on wearing my hair out anyway erplexed
> I don't have a good grain of hair erplexed
> My hair doesn't grow erplexed
> Long hair doesn't run in my family erplexed
> ...


and they still say that? amazing. I'd be all over you with questions back when my hair was still damaged. I've always been that way.


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## tricie (Jan 27, 2010)

Chaosbutterfly said:


> All my friends with damaged hair say that they like it that way and wear it that short and choppy on purpose. I just look at them like...come on son. *Who cuts their ends into a W shape?*
> 
> 
> That was the story that I told too though.
> ...



LMAO @ the bolded!


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## blue_flower (Jan 27, 2010)

Keep it comin', yall!


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## PJaye (Jan 27, 2010)

Chaosbutterfly said:


> All my friends with damaged hair say that they like it that way and wear it that short and choppy on purpose. I* just look at them like...come on son. Who cuts their ends into a W shape?*
> 
> 
> That was the story that I told too though.
> ...


 

HARD @ that


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## BlackMasterPiece (Jan 27, 2010)

Maybe its because I've always been good at debating and disassembling arguments but I've pretty much never met a sista that I couldn't convince that it was actually their practices that was the problem.....and I live in NY...I've met alota ppl

If they come at me with that "oh you got that good hair" I say really? and whip out a pic of my super tight 4a/b coils and watch their eyes go like this 

If they tell me "oh my hair doesnt grow" I give them a polite lesson in biology and ask them if they ever colored their hair and how quick they got "roots"

I then give them a product list and they pretty much always text me from the BSS asking me to repeat my product recs

It also helps that I'm MBL lol

To me, theres no way I could have this knowlege and let people continue in their ignorance when I'm around....


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## Queen_Earth (Jan 27, 2010)

^^^ Sharing that knowledge is so important and appreciated though cause I swear even if you give excuses it's only because you really just dont know any better


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## Nameless (Jan 27, 2010)

Chaosbutterfly said:


> I just look at them like...come on son. Who cuts their ends into a W shape?


 
 LMAO hard


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## Priss Pot (Jan 27, 2010)

BlackMasterPiece said:


> Maybe its because I've always been good at debating and disassembling arguments but I've pretty much never met a sista that I couldn't convince that it was actually their practices that was the problem.....and I live in NY...I've met alota ppl
> 
> If they come at me with that "oh you got that good hair" I say really? and whip out a pic of my super tight 4a/b coils and watch their eyes go like this
> 
> ...



I try to share my knowledge too, but everybody don't wanna listen.  It's about half and half.  Some people attribute it to my skin color and hair type, which is a load of crock.  I put so much effort into my hair, that I HATE when someone makes it seem like it was sooooooooooooooooooooooo easy and that the only reason I got it is cause "you got that good hair."  It's very annoying.

I think a lot of people just want the lazy way; they don't wanna work for healthy hair.

Saying this makes me mad all over again at my roommate cause damnit she "lost" my $40 shears that I bought from Sally's.  I only used them on my hair once, the same day I bought 'em.  Then the next day she asks to use them, and all of a sudden can't find 'em no more


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## BlackMasterPiece (Jan 27, 2010)

^ Yea its probably pretty hard for people to imagine that they can do the same things with their hair that you do if they're a type 4 and you're not...they're gonna assume that its related to texture because thats what society tells us from day 1.

I think my progress serves as an example that type 4 hair has just as much potential because they're used to seeing girls with loose/ visible curls have long hair, they're not used to seeing tightly coilies like me have long hair. So people pretty much can't argue with their eyes

Can't WAIT till I get to my ultimate goal of waist....then all I'll do is give people the side-eye and a product recommendation list.....I won't even speak


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## *CherryPie* (Jan 27, 2010)

There ARE people who really don't care about having long or healthy hair. Wigs and weaves are fine for them. They don't like to bother with hair. 

So for some people, it's truly not an excuse.


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## Kurlee (Jan 27, 2010)

they used to have long hair.........


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## Polyesterdiva (Jan 27, 2010)

Chaosbutterfly said:


> All my friends with damaged hair say that they like it that way and wear it that short and choppy on purpose. I just look at them like...come on son. Who cuts their ends into a W shape?




OMG you HAVE ME ROLLING!  

I know what you mean, unless they cut their hair with those special zig-zag scissors for construction paper projects!


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## dynamic1 (Jan 27, 2010)

Some women wear short hair because they like it....not because they believe their hair won't get long and healthy.  I know women like this and I was one of them (short but healthy).  I decided to grow my hair out pre-LHCF just so I would have more hair to cut into a different style.   I got accustomed to the pony for my workouts and couldn't think of another short cut I wanted.  I actually miss the feeling of a short, sharp cut.  

If someone says I used to have long hair before I cut it but it is still short 5 years later...perhaps they are maintaining a short cut intentionally. 

Do we assume every non-black person with short hair is making excuses if they indicate they don't want long hair for reasons x,y,z?

ETA: How many big choppers inform people they use to have long relaxed hair?


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## Kurlee (Jan 27, 2010)

dynamic1 said:


> Some women wear short hair because they like it....not because they believe their hair won't get long and healthy.  I know women like this and I was one of them (short but healthy).  I decided to grow my hair out pre-LHCF just so I would have more hair to cut into a different style.   I got accustomed to the pony for my workouts and couldn't think of another short cut I wanted.  I actually miss the feeling of a short, sharp cut.
> 
> If someone says I used to have long hair before I cut it but it is still short 5 years later...perhaps they are maintaining a short cut intentionally.
> 
> ...


i was referring to hair like this 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			






 and they talk about dax making their hair grow and touchups every three weeks ..........


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## NikkiGirl (Jan 27, 2010)

Some do have short hair because they want to. I had long hair all my life. I have never been below apl without cutting. But I cut my hair in a bob a year or so back and loved it. For me it was about change. I had always had long hair and wanted something different.  That is no different from something always having short hair wanting long hair. I still think a bob is one of the cutest short styles.


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## BlackMasterPiece (Jan 27, 2010)

Kurlee said:


> i was referring to hair like this
> 
> 
> 
> ...



.........

  erplexed  ​


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## dynamic1 (Jan 27, 2010)

Kurlee said:


> i was referring to hair like this
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
touché


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## NikkiGirl (Jan 27, 2010)

That pic is really bad. WOW.


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## phynestone (Jan 27, 2010)

"I don't have time to be usin' that chicken-smellin' grease u be usin' girl" -referring to my use of MTG. 
"You ain't go no good hurr (mispelled on purpose) and you can't use water on your hair!"

I don't hear those comments anymore b/c my hair is always weaved up, but whenever I take it out, people ooh and ahh over it's length. I'm just APL, but will probably be longer after I get my next touch up. It's been 8 months.


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## halocj (Jan 27, 2010)

oh i have one,"I'm bald headed by choice"


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## Seraphina (Jan 27, 2010)

dynamic1 said:


> Some women wear short hair because they like it....not because they believe their hair won't get long and healthy.  I know women like this and I was one of them (short but healthy).  I decided to grow my hair out pre-LHCF just so I would have more hair to cut into a different style.   I got accustomed to the pony for my workouts and couldn't think of another short cut I wanted.  I actually miss the feeling of a short, sharp cut.
> 
> If someone says I used to have long hair before I cut it but it is still short 5 years later...perhaps they are maintaining a short cut intentionally.
> 
> ...



I think they're talking more about hair that is clearly unhealthy and chewed up opposed to simply being short.

As to the bolded, I have actually thought about this to myself, too.  I think that when a non-black woman has short hair there is an assumption that she chose to do so (which is not always true...I know several white women who complain about how thin and fragile their hair is and they have trouble growing it past shoulder length).  And to be completely honest, this is something that has kept me from cutting my hair a few times...the concern that folks will assume that my hair doesn't grow.  It's silly and petty but it is what it is.


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## Geminigirl (Jan 27, 2010)

.....................................................


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## Priss Pot (Jan 28, 2010)

Ok, you guys.  I don't mean to come back in here and vent.

But the roommate who has the hair problems, the one who "lost" my shears.  We just got into it (over another matter; I feel that she's a user, but that's a different story).  She told me that I was the Devil, and that I was evil.

So, I told her she was never gonna grow any hair.....  I know that was mean


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## Almaz (Jan 28, 2010)

No one ever asks me for anything. I just hear the same old well Almaz you is Ethiopian thats why you got GOOOODDD Hair and that is why it grows. Okay but I STILL have to take care of it or it will be chewed up like yours


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## locabouthair (Jan 28, 2010)

Priss Pot said:


> Ok, you guys.  I don't mean to come back in here and vent.
> 
> But the roommate who has the hair problems, the one who "lost" my shears.  We just got into it (over another matter; I feel that she's a user, but that's a different story).  She told me that I was the Devil, and that I was evil.
> 
> *So, I told her she was never gonna grow any hair.....:*look:  I know that was mean



oh snap. what did she say?


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## Priss Pot (Jan 28, 2010)

locabouthair said:


> oh snap. what did she say?



Nothing, just kept yapping at her mother about me and my devilish antics (but a couple days ago, she told me how much of a wonderful person I am...go figure).

Then she repeated to her mother what I told her.  But I was telling the truth though .  I ain't never been called that before, so yeah it kinda sent me over the edge a lil bit.


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## locabouthair (Jan 28, 2010)

I hope you guys can resolve your issues. I used to hate when me and a roommate didnt get along. I hated the tension in the air.


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## Bene (Jan 28, 2010)

Priss Pot said:


> Ok, you guys.  I don't mean to come back in here and vent.
> 
> But the roommate who has the hair problems, the one who "lost" my shears.  We just got into it (over another matter; I feel that she's a user, but that's a different story).  She told me that I was the Devil, and that I was evil.
> 
> *So, I told her she was never gonna grow any hair*.....  I know that was mean





I'm sorry but  From now on, she'll think of you as the devil who can at least grow their hair.


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## southerncitygirl (Jan 28, 2010)

if i had hair like yours i'd go natural, you're mixed with something right? WTF aren't damn near all black people? meanwhile their dumb arses are using crappy products taht promise to grow you hair that can't spell "doo" or "gro" properly....or have something with african in the name and black folks don't even make ...smh.  they asking me why do you wear that wig and you have all that hair? its called protective styling. I try to pass on info about thsi site or diffrent natural hair care comapnies that are black owned/natural but whatever, with anything you have to put forth the effort.


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## natura87 (Jan 28, 2010)

Polyesterdiva said:


> OMG you HAVE ME ROLLING!
> 
> I know what you mean, unless they cut their hair with *those special zig-zag scissors for construction paper projects*!


 






Kurlee said:


> i was referring to hair like this
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
 Stick a fork in it...I am done.


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## *CherryPie* (Jan 28, 2010)

Priss Pot said:


> Ok, you guys.  I don't mean to come back in here and vent.
> 
> But the roommate who has the hair problems, the one who "lost" my shears.  We just got into it (over another matter; I feel that she's a user, but that's a different story).  She told me that I was the Devil, and that I was evil.
> 
> So, I told her she was never gonna grow any hair.....  I know that was mean



Never wish bad stuff on others. It may come back on you.


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## Natirelle (Jan 28, 2010)

Kurlee said:


> i was referring to hair like this
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 I've seen hair like this, and it always crossed my mind "*WHAT HAPPENED?*" and also what can i do to *NOT* to achieve that look.
I've had sun damaged, overprocessed, underprocessed,and dry hair. 
MOi never akonpli cheveux anvan and dont want to ever no *MANTI .*


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## OhSoOthentik (Jan 28, 2010)

halocj said:


> oh i have one,"I'm bald headed by choice"




LMAO


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## Priss Pot (Jan 28, 2010)

*CherryPie* said:


> Never wish bad stuff on others. It may come back on you.



I know girl.  I don't normally do that to people anyway, but somebody calling me the Devil just doesn't sit right.


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## LoveLiLi (Jan 28, 2010)

There was a girl I was friends with in college. She was in my room one day and after complimenting my hair she went on to tell me her hair story.

According to her, she used to have long hair all the way down her back and her neighbor would do her hair everyday before school. She said the neighbor was jealous of her hair and instead of using grease, was using pure lye on her hair everyday for a year. 

She said she didn't find out what the neighbor was doing until the year was over and that's why she had short hair.


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## Natirelle (Jan 28, 2010)

LoveLiLi said:


> There was a girl I was friends with in college. She was in my room one day and after complimenting my hair she went on to tell me her hair story.
> 
> According to her, she used to have long hair all the way down her back and her neighbor would do her hair everyday before school. She said the neighbor was jealous of her hair and instead of using *GREASE*, was using pure *LYE* *ON* *HER* *HAIR* *EVERYDAY FOR AN YEAR*.
> 
> She said she didn't *FIND OUT* what the neighbor was doing *UNTIL THE YEAR* was *OVER* and that's why she had short hair.


 Smdh


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## ♥Lamaravilla♥ (Jan 28, 2010)

I'm more curious to find out why so many women on forums like lhcf still have chewed up short hair . . .

It's one thing if you've BC'ed but there are a lot that just have raggedy arse hair and still post 50-11 times an hour in the hair forums


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## Crackers Phinn (Jan 28, 2010)

JustKiya said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwrL9MV6jSk
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Words cannot express how pissed I was to see Milli Vanilli when I clicked on that link.

I'on like you no mo.


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## Mizz Diamonds (Jan 28, 2010)

Kurlee said:


> i was referring to hair like this
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
 This is exactly how my sister's hair is like. 

Thing is if somebody want to have jacked up hair that i s their buissness i just don't like them sharing their ignorance with everybody else. My sister going on about how her hair won't grow because her hair is "stunted" you know like how your height growth gets stunted or that she is not mixed . She shares that mess with her friends and all her friends have long pretty hair.

 I BC'd in Sept09 and we had the same length fastfoward to Jan 2010 my hairmy hair is almost shoulder length.

Funny excuse I heard was my hair doesn't break as much because I have tough Nigerian hair and that it was quite long . My friend will listen to Lil Wayne but not me and my advice


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## natura87 (Jan 28, 2010)

Mizz Diamonds said:


> *This is exactly how my sister's hair is like. *
> 
> Thing is if somebody want to have jacked up hair that i s their buissness i just don't like them sharing their ignorance with everybody else. *My sister going on about how her hair won't grow because her hair is "stunted" you know like how your height growth gets stunted or that she is not mixed . She shares that mess with her friends and all her friends have long pretty hair.*
> 
> ...


 

OMG....do we have the same sister!!??!!


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## **SaSSy** (Jan 28, 2010)

Some of the excuses I hear from my own family about my love of oils, and DC and just general hair care:

1. You like using those rich people things that are unnecessary.
2. Stop using those white people products, they don't work
3. My hair grows too fast and is too thick to go past 8 weeks.
4. I don't have hair like you.
5. I have other things to do with my money then use it on hair products.
6. I'll just put in box braids to help it grow
7. Putting a piece in is just easier
8. I don't like my hair all long and straight

And many more


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## Bosslady1 (Jan 28, 2010)

It takes time and dedication. Most people don't have that.


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## teacherjess (Jan 28, 2010)

lamaravilla said:


> I'm more curious to find out why so many women on forums like lhcf still have chewed up short hair . . .
> 
> It's one thing if you've BC'ed but there are a lot that just have raggedy arse hair and still post 50-11 times an hour in the hair forums


 

Maybe they're like that now, but wait and see if their hair condition improves and if their hair grows healthier after being on LHCF. When I started lurking, I had thin, mid NL chewed up hair...and I didn't post for this very reason. I was embarrassed and felt like I didn't belong here, but yet I needed to learn *how* to get my hair healthy. erplexed You've got to start somewhere. Maybe its just the teacher in me, but I never discourage people from getting knowledge.

Now, if someone's been on the hair boards for some years and still got that chewed up broke off hair, then...thats another story


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## complexsimplicity (Jan 28, 2010)

teacherjess said:


> Maybe they're like that now, but wait and see if their hair condition improves and if their hair grows healthier after being on LHCF. When I started lurking, I had thin, mid NL chewed up hair...and I didn't post for this very reason. I was embarrassed and felt like I didn't belong here, but yet I needed to learn *how* to get my hair healthy. erplexed You've got to start somewhere. Maybe its just the teacher in me, but I never discourage people from getting knowledge.
> 
> Now, if someone's been on the hair boards for some years and still got that chewed up broke off hair, then...thats another story


 
I've seen a few like this...​


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## hair4romheaven (Jan 28, 2010)

one girl told me her hair just doesn't grow ;(


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## Chaosbutterfly (Jan 28, 2010)

**SaSSy** said:


> Some of the excuses I hear from my own family about my love of oils, and DC and just general hair care:
> 
> 1. You like using those rich people things that are unnecessary.
> 2. Stop using those white people products, they don't work
> ...



I love hearing that one. 
People will ask me what they should do about their breakage and thinning, and I'll just be like....you can start with spacing out your relaxer more. Instead of four weeks, wait six or eight. And only relax your new growth, not root to tip.

They'll look at me like I done killed their puppy. Talking some..."oh my hair is too thick and grows too fast to wait so long. I HAVE to relax every 4 weeks."

So I look at them like: ohwell:

Mkay...so if your hair is so thick and grows so fast, then where the hell is it?
Cuz it's certainly not on your head.


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## Junebug D (Jan 28, 2010)

*CherryPie* said:


> Never wish bad stuff on others. It may come back on you.


 Yeah, she might find those shears and use them while you sleep... 

These are very recent examples from family members who were amazed at how my hair has grown from my baldie over the last few years:

*- "I've tried everything already, nothing works!"*  Recently I told one to simply use a real deep conditioner, and she went "I have, they don't work!"    

*- "But you were natural all that time!"*   So why don't you try it if you think that's the only reason my hair grew?  

*- "You have a good grade of hair, I don't."*  So says the very 2 people who actually managed my hair up through high school, and complained about how "difficult" my hair was all that time.


----------



## Uber (Jan 28, 2010)

caribeandiva said:


> This chick was just telling me the reasons her hair broke off and won't grow back:
> 
> -if you didn't have long hair as a child you'll never have long hair as an adult.
> 
> ...


 

I can't believe she didn't get. I thought it made so much sense that my hair could grow. I thought all i needed to do is get some length on my hair and every chick I know would rush to this forum....guess i was wrong


----------



## MsSonya (Jan 28, 2010)

complexsimplicity said:


> "I used to have long hair but I cut it." Ummm....you cut it 5 years ago boo boo. Why is it still the same length it was when you cut it?​


 

Awww, that's cold......


----------



## shopgalore (Jan 28, 2010)

teacherjess said:


> Maybe they're like that now, but wait and see if their hair condition improves and if their hair grows healthier after being on LHCF. *When I started lurking, I had thin, mid NL chewed up hair...and I didn't post for this very reason. I was embarrassed and felt like I didn't belong here, but yet I needed to learn how to get my hair healthy. erplexed You've got to start somewhere. *Maybe its just the teacher in me, but I never discourage people from getting knowledge.
> 
> Now, if someone's been on the hair boards for some years and still got that chewed up broke off hair, then...thats another story


 
I agree, I actually started lurking in 2007 for a very short while and was just too ashamed, so I went back to BHM and learnt about weaves, LF etc. I am now back for good and hopefully to stay


----------



## aquajoyice (Jan 28, 2010)

I was one of those women and honestly if they have that many excuses they are just as obssessed with hair as we are they just have wrong or bad info. They just wont admit becuase they've been told they can't have long hair unless they buy it. It's actually kind of sad.


----------



## caribeandiva (Jan 28, 2010)

Priss Pot said:


> Ok, you guys.  I don't mean to come back in here and vent.
> 
> But the roommate who has the hair problems, the one who "lost" my shears.  We just got into it (over another matter; I feel that she's a user, but that's a different story).  She told me that I was the Devil, and that I was evil.
> 
> So, I told her she was never gonna grow any hair.....  I know that was mean


maybe you should think about getting a new roomate. If she's a user who knows what else she'll try to use you for.


----------



## caribeandiva (Jan 28, 2010)

**SaSSy** said:


> ....
> 8. I don't like my hair all long and straight
> ...


Are they serious? Then what's why the box braids?


----------



## caribeandiva (Jan 28, 2010)

Chaosbutterfly said:


> ...
> 
> Mkay...so if your hair is so thick and grows so fast, then where the hell is it?
> Cuz it's certainly not on your head.


----------



## beans4reezy (Jan 28, 2010)

I used to have long hair, but a bad relaxer made it all fall out. Which I can understand, because it happened to my aunt, but why not try and grow it back?


----------



## LadyPaniolo (Jan 28, 2010)

lamaravilla said:


> I'm more curious to find out why so many women on forums like lhcf still have chewed up short hair . . .
> 
> It's one thing if you've BC'ed but there are a lot that just have raggedy arse hair and still post 50-11 times an hour in the hair forums



Girl.... we are >>>>>>>>>>>>right here<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< LMFAO! And people stay listening to what they say works on some hair!!!  No ma'am. 



teacherjess said:


> Maybe they're like that now, but wait and see if their hair condition improves and if their hair grows healthier after being on LHCF. When I started lurking, I had thin, mid NL chewed up hair...and I didn't post for this very reason. I was embarrassed and felt like I didn't belong here, but yet I needed to learn *how* to get my hair healthy. erplexed You've got to start somewhere. Maybe its just the teacher in me, but I never discourage people from getting knowledge.
> 
> *Now, if someone's been on the hair boards for some years and still got that chewed up broke off hair, then...thats another story*



And there are people in this exact situation too. SMFH. 

There's nothing wrong with getting knowledge. But if your hair hasn't improved in at least a year of LHCF.... what are you doing? Cuz you sure aren't applying healthy hair care practices. I dont' get it.

BTW, MY hair used to look like that Reniece pic....  it was awful. I just didn't know what I was doing... but now I think I've come really far


----------



## locabouthair (Jan 28, 2010)

LadyPaniolo said:


> Girl.... we are >>>>>>>>>>>>right here<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< LMFAO! And people stay listening to what they say works on some hair!!!  No ma'am.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I see what you and others are saying but it's not always that simple. Some people do have setbacks. My first year here on the board, I didnt take care of my hair that well. Then afterwards, my hair broke off to less than an inch in some parts. The nape and the sides were GONE because I went to a stylist that didnt wash out the perm properly. Then I had to cut my hair so I basically didnt retain anything. I was stretching my relaxers to the point people thought I was natural, I moisturized daily, and almost never used heat. But all of that isn't worth anything if you're not neutralizing/rinsing the relaxer properly. I dont know why I felt like sharing that but whatever...


----------



## Aviah (Jan 28, 2010)

I've heard:
I cut my hair a long time ago and it never grew back 
OR
The relaxer cut it out and it hasn't been the same since.


----------



## MizAvalon (Jan 28, 2010)

I left those folks alone years ago. If they want the information, it's out there. It's not my job to save them.


----------



## Bulletproof (Jan 28, 2010)

Chaosbutterfly said:


> so if your hair is so thick and grows so fast, then where the hell is it?
> Cuz it's certainly not on your head.




 BEST LINE EVER!


----------



## thehairmaverick (Jan 28, 2010)

complexsimplicity said:


> "I used to have long hair but I cut it." Ummm....you cut it 5 years ago boo boo. Why is it still the same length it was when you cut it?
> ​



LOL stop that!


----------



## HeChangedMyName (Jan 28, 2010)

I had hair down my back when i was a baby.  lol

i want to say. . .ok, so you had 8" of hair for your whole entire life then


----------



## caribeandiva (Jan 29, 2010)

HeChangedMyName said:


> I had hair down my back when i was a baby.  lol
> 
> i want to say. . .ok, so you had 8" of hair for your whole entire life then


maybe their hair fell out along with their baby teeth but unlike teeth it never grew back. Unless you have alopecia or other health challenges then there's no excuse.


----------



## rosalindb (Jan 30, 2010)

Kurlee said:


> i was referring to hair like this
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The lady that used to work in the office below me had hair just like this and said that was how her hair grew due to the texture. I mentioned her in this thread and am just going to post my responses from that thread
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=417062


_There was a lady that used to work on the floor below me and I would try not to say anything but just could not help myself in the end. Her colleagues would say stuff behind her back but I would at least try to offer some help and recommendations but she just would not listen at all.

She would boast about her Cartier watch and her expensive shoes etc but she would go to the cheapest people to get her hair extensions done and they looked horrific. It is a shame as she did not take care of her daughter’s hair either and it looked even worse than hers. She told me that she would just buy the cheapest shampoo that she could find for their hair. She would just shampoo their hair and let it dry and then try to comb it. It took me 2 years to persuade her to use conditioner but she still would not take my advice about detangling with the conditioner in their hair.

She was natural for years and then relaxed it and got the strongest relaxer she could find and left it on the little bit of hair that she had left for 40 minutes and left it on her 7 year old daughters virgin hair for 30 minutes. I asked her why she left it on so long and she said that when she used to relax her hair, she always used to leave it long until her scalp burned and would start to peel. She said that she would just switch on the fan and lean forward so the breeze would cool her head.

A few weeks later it just started to break off and she put her hair in extensions. One day she took them out mid week and parts of her hair were eaten down to the scalp. I recommended Aubrey Organic conditioners, oils such as olive as I knew that she would not pay for jojoba oil but she just said that that was the texture of her hair and those items would not work for her.

As the saying goes – you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. 




mwedzi said:



			say what now? :covereyes What?  WHAT?! :burning:
		
Click to expand...

She was natural for 17 years, the week before she relaxed it, she told me that she was bored with her hair, wanted a change and that it had started breaking and she wanted to relax it. I said if your hair is breaking the last thing you should do is relax. Just take care of it and start using a conditioner and give it some treatments. 

Also her hair is very fine and feels quite soft so I have no idea why she was frying it like that

As I said before "As the saying goes – you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink."


BlackMasterPiece said:



Wow......omg just WOWWWW that would have been too much to take for me, I would have really tried to reason with her and knowing me, I might've even bought her some products or given her my own. That is sooooo serious damn that lady just WANTED to be bald

Click to expand...


MBP, seriouly I tried to reason with that woman so many times over the 3 years that we worked in the same building - and it was literally like talking to a brick wall. I think I have discussed her hair with her at least 75 times, probably more and I am not exaggerating. I really, really could not help myself where she was concerned no matter how hard I tried.

I was furious that she had left the relaxer on her daughter's hair especially for so long too. Both myself and her colleague really did tell her off about that as we both told her the week before that she should not relax her daughters hair as she was so young and we thought that she would not do it. 

One day I gave her 125ml of a home made hair oil concoction I made - it contained oils such as organic jojoba oil, organic EVOO, organic avocado oil, etc and organic essentials oil of lavender and ylang ylang – I only use natural products and try to use organic where possible so it was good quality.

A couple of days later, I asked her if she was using the oil and she told me that she would just put two drops on her hairline.   What is the point of that? I told her to use it all over and be consistent to see if it makes a difference and she then did this just a couple of times for her and her daughter and she said that she loved it. A couple of weeks later I asked her if the oil was still okay for them both and she said that it was too nice and she wanted the hair oil to last so she only used it occasionally and then she went and diluted it with some cheap crap she bought and that bottle lasted her and her daughter almost 2 years. 

No way was I then going to then give her my Aubrey Organics conditioners – I might have just as well poured them down the drain. I often share products with my friends such as my home made hair oil concoctions and body butters. I gave two of my friends samples of the AO conditioners and one of them is a convert _


----------



## HeChangedMyName (Jan 30, 2010)

Kurlee said:


> i was referring to hair like this
> 
> 
> 
> ...




i know people like this and it's not short because they cut it either.  THIS hair comes from utter lack of care.  no scarfs, no conditioner, no DC, no combing.


----------



## Kurlee (Jan 30, 2010)

rosalindb said:


> The lady that used to work in the office below me had hair just like this and said that was how her hair grew due to the texture. I mentioned her in this thread and am just going to post my responses from that thread
> http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=417062
> 
> 
> ...


that woman has some serious self-hatred going on with her hair. I think it comes down to that for a lot of people. The belief that there is something inherently wrong with their hair and it doesn't deserve to be treated with care. They then proceed to abuse it, like it deserves because of it's 'grade'.


----------



## teacherjess (Jan 30, 2010)

rosalindb said:


> The lady that used to work in the office below me had hair just like this and said that was how her hair grew due to the texture. I mentioned her in this thread and am just going to post my responses from that thread
> http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=417062
> 
> 
> ...


 

Wow. I guess it is all about priorities for certain women. For me personally, I'd rather rock less expensive clothes and use my money to pay for good quality hair and beauty products. I'm sorry... If I'm wearing Jimmy Choos and have a Gucci purse on my arm but my hair looks to' up from the flo' up I am NOT a happy camper and I would feel far from fierce. Just sayin'


----------



## rosalindb (Jan 30, 2010)

Kurlee said:


> that woman has some serious self-hatred going on with her hair. I think it comes down to that for a lot of people. The belief that there is something inherently wrong with their hair and it doesn't deserve to be treated with care. They then proceed to abuse it, like it deserves because of it's 'grade'.



Very true and unfortunately she is passing this on to her daughter. I think the way she sees her hair stems from her own childhood. She told me that her sister had lovely hair but she got the bad hair as she takes after her father. She told me and her colleague that she tells her daughter that her hair is bad  Both my colleague and I told her not to do that but she thought that it was funny that we were concerned by this.


----------



## LadyPaniolo (Jan 30, 2010)

Wow... that was really kind and generous to help your co-worker out like that... I probably wouldn't have said anything to her at all... because I remember how attacked and wounded I used to feel if anyone said a word to me about my hair, even if they meant well.


----------



## Chaosbutterfly (Jan 30, 2010)

teacherjess said:


> Wow. I guess it is all about priorities for certain women. For me personally, I'd rather rock less expensive clothes and use my money to pay for good quality hair and beauty products. I'm sorry... If I'm wearing Jimmy Choos and have a Gucci purse on my arm but my hair looks to' up from the flo' up I am NOT a happy camper and I would feel far from fierce. Just sayin'



I agree...clothes and shoes are things you buy off the rack, or if you get them made for you. They aren't a part of you, so I don't understand why people will go crazy spending on them but can't even go buy a quality conditioner. Or a drugstore conditioner. Or any conditioner at all. Even if your clothes look nice, people are still going to know that you don't care about yourself if you neglect things that actually grow from your body, like your hair or skin.

And that lady's daughter, I feel bad for her too. 
That's a prime example of this vicious cycle within the BW community, and its why I honestly think that beautiful, healthy and/or long hair will never become the norm among us. Because you have all these women who believe that their hair is ugly and doesn't deserve/need care. They won't listen to reason. Won't listen to advice, won't seek help....they just think that because their hair is kinky, it sucks and won't ever look like anything. 

Then they teach that to their daughters. Who then teach it to theirs...who then teach it to theirs...it just doesn't stop.


----------



## Mdmommy99 (Jan 30, 2010)

Well...Just to play devil's advocate a little bit it just comes down to priorities. I know a lot of women who are obsessed with physical fitness but don't really care that much about growing their hair long. I know a lot of women obsessed with growing their hair long that really don't care that much about having 6 pack abs. Not to say that women who don't have 6 pack abs don't care about their health, its just that its not enough of a priority for them to put a lot of time and effort into obtaining them.
I think hair is the same way. Just like you might not feel like spending the time it would take every day to get the perfect body, some women just don't feel like spending the time it would take to get long, healthy hair. To each his own I guess.


----------



## wish4length (Jan 30, 2010)

I love how people say I don't care about my hair because I wear protective styles 99% of the time, but my SO sees me on LHCF and on wash days and tells them they're crazy...........
Outside of this website I've chosen not to discuss hair with anyone.


----------



## LadyPaniolo (Jan 30, 2010)

Mdmommy99 said:


> Well...Just to play devil's advocate a little bit it just comes down to priorities. I know a lot of women who are obsessed with physical fitness but don't really care that much about growing their hair long. I know a lot of women obsessed with growing their hair long that really don't care that much about having 6 pack abs. Not to say that women who don't have 6 pack abs don't care about their health, its just that its not enough of a priority for them to put a lot of time and effort into obtaining them.
> I think hair is the same way. Just like you might not feel like spending the time it would take every day to get the perfect body, some women just don't feel like spending the time it would take to get long, healthy hair. To each his own I guess.




Oh, I hear you 100%. However, there is an in between level between just doing the basics to not look a hot flaming mess, and going all out LHCF style. If you have some level of self respect, you should at least put forth the minimal effort in all the basic grooming categories.

ETA: and wish4length, I know exactly what you mean, too! I have been hardcore protective styling on my HHJ. Almost no one had even seen my hair before my Big Reveal this Christmas. I'm sure they all thought my head looked tore up, hence the wigs.


----------



## teacherjess (Jan 30, 2010)

LadyPaniolo said:


> Oh, I hear you 100%. *However, there is an in between level between just doing the basics to not look a hot flaming mess, and going all out LHCF style. If you have some level of self respect, you should at least put forth the minimal effort in all the basic grooming categories.*
> 
> ETA: and wish4length, I know exactly what you mean, too! I have been hardcore protective styling on my HHJ. Almost no one had even seen my hair before my Big Reveal this Christmas. I'm sure they all thought my head looked tore up, hence the wigs.


 

Right, before I even knew what LHCF was I conditioned every wash and kept my hair groomed. It wasn't healthy~but no one knew that but me.  Not every woman will become a "hair enthusiast" like the LHCF ladies. Some are into makeup, shoes, clothes, etc. like we are into hair. But...nonetheless, don't step out looking a HAM with your hair. It just looks trifling. Like stepping out with ashy skin thinking it looks cute. Just don't do it.


----------



## Jewell (Jan 30, 2010)

Hair care has always been a priority of mine, and over the years, I have just added to my previous knowledge and techniques to keep my hair in the best shape with minimal cost (I don't like waste). I'm a real DIY'er.  Actually, I don't know many that use excuses as to why their hair is a HAM, but I have had some at an old job (when it came to CW and my washing frequently) say that if they washed their hair "that much" it would "fall out."  Mind you, their hair looked like the pic posted below, except it was fly-away, see-thru thin, and dry, but at least somewhat even neck length.  This is the description of my mother's hair, sadly (I try to help, but she doesn't wanna think I know a little more than she does about anything---yeah, that personality type). :-/

I am trying to educate my sisters and mother on other aspects of hair care, but they don't pay me much attention.  So as a caveat, I will be rocking long, silky, past WL hair next year in front of them.  When they ask me what I do, I'm going to happily be mum on the subject.  It's like, "Nah, don't be asking me no questions now!"

I was thinking to myself (about the old coworker), "Well maybe if you stop using them box no-lye relaxers (which give the hair inherent dryness due to the calcium content), and deep conditioned on a regular basis, you wouldn't be looking like that."  The answer to her hair issues in her eyes was to get a ghetto, crimped, multi-color, sew-in weave the following month. :-/  

I don't discuss hair with some people b/c all that will end up happening is a debate on which works for what "type" of hair.  Like some ppl say to me, "Well, I can't do that cuz I ain't got that "good hair" like you." * Mind now, that they are saying that without evening having seen my real hair texture, or while my hair is under a wig or head wrap!*  It's almost like they assume I have "good hair" b/c I happen to have a light complexion.  

When I was a child, stylists used to comment on my sister's "good hair" and look at mine like it was a HAM (it wasn't, it was just a tighter coil--my mom and grandma always kept our hair done either pressed or done in cute little-girl ponytails w/barrettes).  Well, for a while I was envious of the type she had, but that was only until I discovered my own natural texture and was enlightened to the techniques that allow me to embrace my own curls/kinks with manageability in hand, and rock 'em with pride.  

*In my honest-to-God opinion, I believe all hair is good, so long as it is well-groomed, healthy, and well cared for.  I hate the division the "hair typing" or "good hair vs. bad hair" thing does to our community of beautiful sistahs.  * *I also believe that if at all possible, no woman should go out without her hair done, it just makes for an unkempt appearance, no matter how "fly" the shoes or outfit might be.  If the hair isn't done (minimally groomed at least), it makes me think that you might be slippin' on some other areas of hygiene and self-care.*

Sorry so long, but I had to get this off my chest!


----------



## blacksapphire (Jan 30, 2010)

^^^ ITA. you make some really good points


----------



## ryanshope (Jan 30, 2010)

Wow...really? Pure lye would eat a hole in her scalp :-/

smh...some people...




LoveLiLi said:


> There was a girl I was friends with in college. She was in my room one day and after complimenting my hair she went on to tell me her hair story.
> 
> According to her, she used to have long hair all the way down her back and her neighbor would do her hair everyday before school. She said the neighbor was jealous of her hair and instead of using grease, was using pure lye on her hair everyday for a year.
> 
> She said she didn't find out what the neighbor was doing until the year was over and that's why she had short hair.


----------



## LoveLiLi (Jan 30, 2010)

ryanshope said:


> Wow...really? Pure lye would eat a hole in her scalp :-/
> 
> smh...some people...


 
Exactly. She would be all :burning::burning::burning: after the first application.

I don't know why she thought that was a feasible story. I considered calling her out, but decided she was too entertaining and let her keep on.


----------



## Almaz (Jan 30, 2010)

pure lye HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh that just kills me. 

Hi Lovely




LoveLiLi said:


> Exactly. She would be all :burning::burning::burning: after the first application.
> 
> I don't know why she thought that was a feasible story. I considered calling her out, but decided she was too entertaining and let her keep on.


----------



## LoveLiLi (Jan 30, 2010)

Almaz said:


> pure lye HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
> 
> Oh that just kills me.
> 
> Hi Lovely


 
Hi, Almaz. 

Lmao. Yeah, she's going to tell that story to the wrong person one day and get called out.


----------



## Jewell (Jan 30, 2010)

Originally Posted by LoveLiLi  
There was a girl I was friends with in college. She was in my room one day and after complimenting my hair she went on to tell me her hair story.

According to her, she used to have long hair all the way down her back and her neighbor would do her hair everyday before school. She said the neighbor was jealous of her hair and instead of using grease, was using pure lye on her hair everyday for a year. 

She said she didn't find out what the neighbor was doing until the year was over and that's why she had short hair. 
-------------------------------------------

??IDK, but maybe she meant the lye that is used in soaps, not the sodium hydroxide (also called lye) that's in relaxers. Of course, if the neighbor was putting sodium hydroxide on her scalp, it would burn a whole through it like acid, for real.  I'm sure there are chemical similarities between the two, but the lye used to base bar soaps (think lard-like)...I could see it being similar in consistency to grease.  Just my op.  So maybe she was really telling the truth!!  I was looking at hand-made soap today with lye in it.


----------



## Oasis (Jan 30, 2010)

My cousin claims her hair _ain't been right_ and won't grow because of a messed up Jheri Curl she got some *18 years ago*. The fact she gets a relaxer every 2 weeks and literally rips tracks out of her scalp have nothing to do with it.

My other cousin claims her hair won't grow because of the unflattering haircut her dad gave her when she was 6. She's 20 now.


----------



## Esi (Jan 30, 2010)

Mdmommy99 said:


> Well...Just to play devil's advocate a little bit it just comes down to priorities. I know a lot of women who are obsessed with physical fitness but don't really care that much about growing their hair long. I know a lot of women obsessed with growing their hair long that really don't care that much about having 6 pack abs. Not to say that women who don't have 6 pack abs don't care about their health, its just that its not enough of a priority for them to put a lot of time and effort into obtaining them.
> I think hair is the same way. Just like you might not feel like spending the time it would take every day to get the perfect body, some women just don't feel like spending the time it would take to get long, healthy hair. To each his own I guess.



Well said...I sho 'nuff have not gone to the gym consistently in 4 months but I definitely moisturize and seal my hair everyday and dc at least once a week because I love to do it. I don't always feel that way about working out  Fitness becomes a priority when I have a wedding or vacation coming up. 

Another story to add to your devil's advocacy involves my sister. She has beautiful bsl natural hair and washes it and re-twists or buns when she needs to so she is presentable for work. She couldn't care less about all the "extra" stuff I do like dc'ing and trying different styling methods.

ETA: ...but I agree that true HAM are unacceptable.


----------



## me-T (Jan 30, 2010)

i don't understand the stories about "my hair won't grow 'cause ____ happened several years ago". how does that even make sense?


----------



## natura87 (Jan 30, 2010)

Oasis said:


> My cousin claims her hair _ain't been right_ and won't grow because of a messed up Jheri Curl she got some *18 years ago*. The fact she gets a relaxer every 2 weeks and literally rips tracks out of her scalp have nothing to do with it.
> 
> My other cousin claims her hair won't grow because of the unflattering haircut her dad gave her when she was 6. She's 20 now.


 
OMG!! Decades!! Decades!!


----------



## Jade Feria (Jan 31, 2010)

Oasis said:


> My cousin claims her hair _ain't been right_ and won't grow because of a messed up Jheri Curl she got some *18 years ago*. The fact *she gets a relaxer every 2 weeks* and literally rips tracks out of her scalp have nothing to do with it.
> 
> My other cousin claims her hair won't grow because of the unflattering haircut her dad gave her when she was 6. She's 20 now.


----------



## LadyPaniolo (Jan 31, 2010)

A relaxer every 2 weeks, OMG! Tell me she isn't combing it through root to tip, though???  

She just can't have ANY nappiness to her hair, huh? And I'm willing to wager that she would look at a natural woman with coily curly locks and be like  thinking all that natural hair = a HAM.... No matter how healthy or long it is, if it isn't bone straight, it's a no-go. SMDH. I have known people like that. Unless, of course, the hair is type 3.


----------



## SheaButterBaby (Jan 31, 2010)

Chaosbutterfly said:


> All my friends with damaged hair say that they like it that way and wear it that short and choppy on purpose. *I just look at them like...come on son. Who cuts their ends into a W shape?*
> 
> 
> That was the story that I told too though.
> ...


----------



## Dragone (Jan 31, 2010)

I know not to tell my hair stories anymore then, hahaha. I really did have BSB hair but I hotcombed it until it all broke off and it was _many, many, many_ years before I figured out how to get it to grow again. I guess the people I told my tale of woe and devastation to where like GFTHOWTBS


----------



## Oasis (Feb 1, 2010)

LadyPaniolo said:


> A relaxer every 2 weeks, OMG! Tell me she isn't combing it through root to tip, though???
> 
> She just can't have ANY nappiness to her hair, huh? And I'm willing to wager that she would look at a natural woman with coily curly locks and be like  thinking all that natural hair = a HAM.... No matter how healthy or long it is, if it isn't bone straight, it's a no-go. SMDH. I have known people like that. Unless, of course, the hair is type 3.



Yes, it's root to tip. I'm 4b and she loves my hair but hates her's and her childrens. She thinks only certain folks can go natural  and claims she's one of them. She has a huge golf ball sized bald spot but swoops tracks over it. I told her she'd be better off shaving if off and wearing wigs while it grows back cuz it ain't like she wears her real hair anyway but she gave me some BS excuse. So she'll continue perming every 1.5-2 weeks and gluing/ripping in/out tracks. *shrugs* Can't help those who don't want to be helped.


----------



## Bulletproof (Feb 1, 2010)

Oasis said:


> Yes, it's root to tip. I'm 4b and she loves my hair but hates her's and her childrens. She thinks only certain folks can go natural  and claims she's one of them. She has a huge golf ball sized bald spot but swoops tracks over it. I told her she'd be better off shaving if off and wearing wigs while it grows back cuz it ain't like she wears her real hair anyway but she gave me some BS excuse. So she'll continue perming every 1.5-2 weeks and gluing/ripping in/out tracks. *shrugs* Can't help those who don't want to be helped.


----------



## HollyGolightly (Feb 1, 2010)

Oasis said:


> *She has a huge golf ball sized bald spot but swoops tracks over it.* I told her she'd be better off shaving if off and wearing wigs while it grows back cuz it ain't like she wears her real hair anyway but she gave me some BS excuse. So she'll continue perming every 1.5-2 weeks and gluing/ripping in/out tracks.



 Wow.


----------



## BostonMaria (Feb 1, 2010)

rosalindb said:


> _She was natural for years and then relaxed it and got the strongest relaxer she could find and left it on the little bit of hair that she had left for 40 minutes and left it on her 7 year old daughters virgin hair for 30 minutes. I asked her why she left it on so long and s*he said that when she used to relax her hair, she always used to leave it long until her scalp burned and would start to peel.* She said that she would just switch on the fan and lean forward so the breeze would cool her head.
> 
> _



I just screamed! :burning: OMG her daughter was probably screaming in pain! *SMH*
OMG I can't stop scratching my head now! LMFAO


----------



## LadyPaniolo (Feb 1, 2010)

OMG... My hair is trembling in fear at this thread....


----------



## MoniintheMiddle (Feb 1, 2010)

Some people weren't meant to have long hair ....told to me by my FORMER hair stylist


----------



## natura87 (Feb 1, 2010)

MoniintheMiddle said:


> Some people weren't meant to have long hair ....told to me by my FORMER hair stylist


 


 That's just grimy.


----------



## MoniintheMiddle (Feb 1, 2010)

^^^yep!  She sure did tell me that.  That was my last visit to her and I was a weekly customer


----------



## Aria-Selene (Feb 1, 2010)

BostonMaria said:


> I just screamed! :burning: OMG her daughter was probably screaming in pain! *SMH*
> OMG I can't stop scratching my head now! LMFAO



You too huh! That woman is nuts! She has to be!! OMG She can't be right! naw man


----------



## Kash (Feb 1, 2010)

"the reson your hair stays short is... because you haven't found a hair stylist with them 'growing hands'."


----------



## complexsimplicity (Feb 1, 2010)

Reading through this thread has got me so frustrated, confused, sad, and infuriated. It's obvious that we know how to take care of our hair. Why won't these women listen when we try to help them? Then they want to be mad and try and tear you down when all you've been trying to do is build them up. You bet not say anything to me when I reach WL. I done tried to told ya! lol​


----------



## natura87 (Feb 1, 2010)

Can-Nee said:


> "the reson your hair stays short is... because you haven't found a hair stylist with them 'growing hands'."


 


What in the...? Wow. 

Keep living the lie!!!!


----------



## angenoir (Feb 1, 2010)

It's so funny you posted this!

My stylist was installing my weave last month. I go to her really because there is no one else and at least she listens when I tell her not to braid too tight etc BUT I do everything esle myself ie wash, DC, straighten.

So when I went to her last motnh for my install I had quite some progress ie growth and thickness. And she said, "Oh wow, you see how I have 'growing hands'??"  If I let this girl have her way with my head she'd be relaxing me and doing too tight braids the same day
I watched her relax bone straight a woman with thin fine 1" hair and have her make an appointment the next day or week for a weave.

She believes that black hair just can't grow hence the need to have weaves and wigs. She doesn't really get it that I am using weaves as a PS and not as a permanent solution.
I hope my continued progress changes her opinions.



Can-Nee said:


> "the reson your hair stays short is... because you haven't found a hair stylist with them 'growing hands'."


----------



## Jade Feria (Feb 1, 2010)

*A friend of mine seems to be EXTREMELY anti long hair. She used to be relaxed (always with SL hair) and has been natural for the past few years. Her hair might be just past SL stretched, but I'm not sure. Every time I mention long hair or hair growth methods, she goes off on a rant about how long hair is so boring, you can't do anything with it, "what can you do with long hair but put it in a ponytail, wear it in a bun, half up, half down," "why do  people want to grow their hair long, I'm not into long hair" 


















Yet she uses Mega-Tek. erplexed *


----------



## Tootuff (Feb 1, 2010)

Last week at our family dinner I saw that my 14 yo cousins hair was dry and very damaged.  I asked her mother what was she (my cousin) doing to her hair and she said her hair was very dry and she wont "grease it".  I told her that she should put some type of moisturize in it and use coconut oil, from that point on everybody at the table had a remedy that was different than what I said and IMO all of them were wrong but I just stopped talking because my family is very opinionated and you cant tell them anything.


----------



## likewtr4chklit (Feb 1, 2010)

This is why I don't give hair advice outside LHCF unless it's someone I really and truely care about.


----------



## dionne81l (Feb 1, 2010)

complexsimplicity said:


> "I used to have long hair but I cut it." Ummm....you cut it 5 years ago boo boo. Why is it still the same length it was when you cut it?​


 Good one!! LOL!!


----------



## MrJohnsonsRib (Feb 1, 2010)

Priss Pot said:


> I try to share my knowledge too, but everybody don't wanna listen. It's about half and half. Some people attribute it to my skin color and hair type, which is a load of crock. I put so much effort into my hair, that I HATE when someone makes it seem like it was sooooooooooooooooooooooo easy and that the only reason I got it is cause "you got that good hair." It's very annoying.
> 
> I think a lot of people just want the lazy way; they don't wanna work for healthy hair.
> 
> Saying this makes me mad all over again at my roommate cause damnit she "lost" my $40 shears that I bought from Sally's. I only used them on my hair once, the same day I bought 'em. Then the next day she asks to use them, and all of a sudden can't find 'em no more


 
I'm so sorry for you buddy.  $40 for some shears to be lost? It's things like that which make me wonder if I have the spirtiual gift of giving (we're studying gifts in women's study) and well if somebody asked for my $40 shears I'd be trying to "figure" that one out...I'd tell her let me get back at ya in a minute on that one...I guess that goes for the people you can't really quite rely on. Most my friends can get the world from me so it's case by case.

I'm so glad I found LHCF because although I wasn't in complete denial like most folks i met, I did realize that my hair wasn't getting the proper treatment because I needed to afford proper hair care and I was too poor. I knew the excuses I was supposed to believe and some days I would and some days I wouldn't accept them but it's hard to feel like your hair has hope when folks are swinging ponytails of relaxed locks everyday in school. I think my biggest mistake is feeling like I had to have lots of money to afford to treat my hair the right way. Not really true because I got some VO5 and Suave stuff that works great. Plus I was heavy handed and would use stuff up way too fast. I still remember on payday I would just go to the BSS if I was due... get a relaxer, oil sheen, bobby pins, and a half pack of the cheapest pack of 10" yaki tracks. Yes where I'm from they will split a pack of hair in half for you ....some people looked at me crazy when I tried to ask for that in other states- my bad I though it was a universal thing... half packs are handy for ponytails and for finishing off a small patch of braids you didn't estimate for. Back on topic. I decided to use the internet to make sure I could really walk around and use those excuses or to determine they are just myths and they were myths! My hair still needs progress of course but I have a relationship with my hair now. It's no longer defeating when I touch it. I can do something about it, I'll just have to work at it and with it.


----------



## MrJohnsonsRib (Feb 1, 2010)

Kurlee said:


> i was referring to hair like this
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 


You know what?  I can't even front I was ^^ there most of my ignorant adolescent years. So sad. I'm glad her face aint showing cause we would put a hit out on her to get it fixed. I'm also glad that I quit doing the same damage to my hair expecting different results. I must've been insane, fortunately I covered my head with weave ponytails or braids when it counted, but underneath my hair was something like this. I feel like laughing and crying at the same time.


----------



## Kash (Feb 1, 2010)

natura87 said:


> What in the...? Wow.
> 
> Keep living the lie!!!!


 
aint that some crap and the girl who told me this is getting ready to finish cosmetology school.



angenoir said:


> It's so funny you posted this!
> 
> My stylist was installing my weave last month. I go to her really because there is no one else and at least she listens when I tell her not to braid too tight etc BUT I do everything esle myself ie wash, DC, straighten.
> 
> ...


 
wow! did you give her the stank eye when she said that madness!


----------



## honeybuni84 (Feb 1, 2010)

Qualitee said:


> Most popular "I dont got that good hair"




 a personal favorite...


 but then you proceed to relax from root to tip every time and wonder why its been a year and you havent grown out your bob ( that's directed towards my sister)


 and she told me i was crazy when i said you dont have to relax it all every time


----------



## honeybuni84 (Feb 1, 2010)

drea53 said:


> I've seen hair like this, and it always crossed my mind "*WHAT HAPPENED?*" and also what can i do to *NOT* to achieve that look.
> I've had sun damaged, overprocessed, underprocessed,and dry hair.
> MOi never akonpli cheveux anvan and dont want to ever no *MANTI .*




 I see it pretty regularly and i think the the same thing.. WTF happened here?!?!!  i know i didnt have healthy hair before LHCF, but geeze... at some stage in the game you gotta look and wonder, where did i go wrong



Jewell said:


> Originally Posted by LoveLiLi
> There was a girl I was friends with in college. She was in my room one day and after complimenting my hair she went on to tell me her hair story.
> 
> According to her, she used to have long hair all the way down her back and her neighbor would do her hair everyday before school. She said the neighbor was jealous of her hair and instead of using grease, was using pure lye on her hair everyday for a year.
> ...





  I know it.. there are a few too many holes in that story to truly address it seriously


----------



## Chaosbutterfly (Feb 1, 2010)

complexsimplicity said:


> Reading through this thread has got me so frustrated, confused, sad, and infuriated. *It's obvious that we know how to take care of our hair. Why won't these women listen when we try to help them?* Then they want to be mad and try and tear you down when all you've been trying to do is build them up. You bet not say anything to me when I reach WL. I done tried to told ya! lol​



   LOL!
   Don't even bother yourself anymore. If a friend asks me what to do with her hair, I tell her. If she starts arguing or giving excuses about why she can't do x,y,z...then I shrug and KIM. I used to stand there and argue right back..offering them my product and everything, but at this point, I can't be bothered. If they want to have their hair looking a mess, then oh well, because it's not on my head and it's not affecting my growth.




MrJohnsonsRib said:


> You know what?  I can't even front I was ^^ there most of my ignorant adolescent years. So sad. I'm glad her face aint showing cause we would put a hit out on her to get it fixed. I'm also glad that I quit doing the same damage to my hair expecting different results. I must've been insane, fortunately I covered my head with weave ponytails or braids when it counted, but underneath my hair was something like this. I feel like laughing and crying at the same time.



  If she's on Reneice's site, chances are, it's been fixed. 
But I agree with you....my hair looked like that all through middle school and it sucked butt. I acted like I liked my hair, but no...it sucked butt. I used to cry about it all the time.

That's actually what drove me to LHCF in college. My hair was SL, but it was dry, breaking, and slowly going back to how it was in middle school. I was really desperate and frustrated, so I started googling. Even though it sounded crazy to be sleeping in plastic bags and to be using "white people products", I was like *** it. Let me just try, because my hair now is jacked anyway. It can't get worse. 

  So with my friends and people around me, I just wait for them to get desperate and tired enough to consider another way. Eventually, they will be tired of having hair on their clothes and in the sink instead of on their head. They will be tired of oozing scalp burns from relaxing improperly. They will be tired of having to depend on weaves and lacefronts and never having nice hair of their own. And if they get tired and desperate enough, they will find LHCF. Or they will at least listen to me and go buy some dayum conditioner.

And if they don't, then oh well. Like I said, it's not on my head.


----------



## complexsimplicity (Feb 1, 2010)

Chaosbutterfly said:


> LOL!
> Don't even bother yourself anymore. If a friend asks me what to do with her hair, I tell her. If she starts arguing or giving excuses about why she can't do x,y,z...then I shrug and KIM. I used to stand there and argue right back..offering them my product and everything, but at this point, I can't be bothered. If they want to have their hair looking a mess, then oh well, because it's not on my head and it's not affecting my growth.
> 
> 
> ...



EXACTLY!!! I was like what I'm doing obviously ain't helping me in the least bit and these chicks have long hair so I should listen to them.​


----------



## Natirelle (Feb 2, 2010)

honeybuni84 said:


> I see it pretty regularly and i think the the same thing.. WTF happened here?!?!! i know i didnt have healthy hair before LHCF, but geeze... at some stage in the game you gotta look and wonder, where did i go wrong
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 Yup I'am so glad i found longhaircareforum!!!


----------



## angenoir (Feb 2, 2010)

Can-Nee said:


> aint that some crap and the girl who told me this is getting ready to finish cosmetology school.
> 
> 
> 
> *wow! did you give her the stank eye when she said that madness!*


 
I just stared unblinkingly at her through the mirror. She told me that about 3 times. And guess what? She never once did she pay me a compliment. nono: She noted the progress and attributed all credit to herself...and her "growing hands" despite the fact that I had not been to her in months!
Oh well, I didnt bother saying anything because after all the hair is on my head. I am just happy that I am going back to my old stylist from next month


----------



## MaintaintheSexy (Feb 2, 2010)

caribeandiva said:


> This chick was just telling me the reasons her hair broke off and won't grow back:
> 
> -if you didn't have long hair as a child you'll never have long hair as an adult.
> 
> ...




I don't like when girls believe that if they go to a salon every week, their hair will grow and I hate when people suggest that as an option to your repair your hair.  The salon will not solve your problem, nor will the people in the hair salon, nine out of ten times. Another member said, "I'm really starting to believe that anyone who gets paid to do hair needs to go through the same rigorous schooling doctors go through..." And its true! My hair has been jacked up by almost everyone that I've allowed to handle it and I've let A LOT of people in my hair all for the sake of getting it back on track after my first weave damage and broke my hair.  I can't begin to tell you how many salons I've been to and can count on one hand and still have fingers left over, the number of good hairdressers I've come across in the span of 11 years. 
If your friend doesn't take matters into her own hands and begin doing her homework, she'll forever have excuses. But I know how she feels, because I was once there, she feels trapped in a cage of hair problems and there doesn't seem like a way out. 
But there is and I am convinced. So, why don't you put her on to LHCF and leave her be.


----------



## caribeandiva (Feb 2, 2010)

MaintaintheSexy said:


> ...So, why don't you put her on to LHCF and leave her be.


I offered but she said that she doesn't have time to care for her hair AT ALL.  she thinks deepconditioning is too time consuming.

oh well, when she sees how longs, healthy and gorgeous my hair gets she'll start asking questions. Like another poster said, you can't help those that don't want the help.


----------



## lilsparkle825 (Aug 2, 2010)

My favorite excuse came from my cousin....

"I'm too lazy to do all that extra stuff you do, like with the conditioner and the dryer."

Oh, so you can make an appointment to go see your stylist every 2 weeks, sit in her chair for three hours and eat up what she says (the usual -- get a touchup every 4 weeks from root to tip, glue these tracks in for some color, heck let's color your already-overprocessed hair), but you can't sit under a dryer at my house for 30 minutes a week.

At least I think I'm making some progress....I showed her a youtube video and she ate it up. The girl had before and after pics, which she loved....but won't pay attention to the fact that me and my sis have grown our hair from NL (or bald, in my sister's case) to BSL. I think I got her to stretch her relaxer four more weeks or something. What happened after that, I don't know....I just assume her boyfriend said something negative about her hair and she ran back to her trusty stylist.


----------



## brucebettye (Aug 2, 2010)

Before I decide to make my hair heathly, my excuse for damage hair was that I could buy fake hair to cover it up.


----------



## empressri (Aug 3, 2010)

Priss Pot said:


> Ok, you guys.  I don't mean to come back in here and vent.
> 
> But the roommate who has the hair problems, the one who "lost" my shears.  We just got into it (over another matter; I feel that she's a user, but that's a different story).  She told me that I was the Devil, and that I was evil.
> 
> So, I told her she was never gonna grow any hair.....  I know that was mean



I know this was old but BWAHAHAHAHA! Good for the wench, I don't feel bad for her. I can't stand folks like her.

This goes along with the "good hair" thing but apparently my hair is able to grow long is because I have a "different texture". 

I tell them my nails tend to stay longer too if I keep nail polish on, do I have "different" bones? Wtf does my texture have to do with it?


----------



## Glamiam (Aug 3, 2010)

Omg this thread reminds me of this girl i went to highschool with. Her hair is neck-length and damaged but she hides it with weave all the time. Her excuse, "oh my hair was super long when i was little but the perm broke it all off smh" 

but get this; she walks around with a picture of her hair when she was little to prove to people that she had long hair


----------



## Miss_C (Aug 3, 2010)

A note on people who say "I used to have long hair". That's what I used to say. And I did, when I was 14 my hair was cut from WL to around SL when I asked for layers my first time at the salon (***** looked at me and had the nerve to say 'What? When you ask for layers, that means short") Anyway, my mom was still encouraging, telling me it would grow back, but I was anxious to be grown and let stylists and others besides my mom do my hair. So it stayed between NL and SL and became damaged. REALLY damaged. Embarrassingly so. I used to tell people I had had long hair in the past and they'd look at me like, riiiiight. The problem was, I couldn't really figure out how to grow it back. I knew I had the potential, just didn't know how to grow it. My mom did, but I hated the idea of bunning all the time (needed to look cute ). 
So anyway, that one may be less of an excuse and more of an expression of loss and just wanting it to grow back and not knowing how. Sorry if that's completely OT, I just had to put that out there. 

But the whole "I just like being **********"thing...Ummmmmm, riiiiiighhht.


----------



## Miss_C (Aug 3, 2010)

**SaSSy** said:


> Some of the excuses I hear from my own family about my love of oils, and DC and just general hair care:
> 
> *1. You like using those rich people things that are unnecessary.*
> 2. Stop using those white people products, they don't work
> ...


 
Wait...haircare is for RICH PEOPLE??? BWAHAHAHAHA
So, in 2010 people aren't pulling up to gated communities asking for Grey Poupon, they're asking for deep conditioner???? Gasping....for...air... 

I can just picture the butler with the British accent walking you to the BSS and going: "Excuse me suhhh, but do you have any Joico K-Pak?????"

Alright, alright, I'm done now. Thanks for the laugh *still chuckling*


----------



## Misshairdiva (Aug 3, 2010)

Jewell said:


> Originally Posted by LoveLiLi
> There was a girl I was friends with in college. She was in my room one day and after complimenting my hair she went on to tell me her hair story.
> 
> According to her, she used to have long hair all the way down her back and her neighbor would do her hair everyday before school. She said the neighbor was jealous of her hair and instead of using grease, was using pure lye on her hair everyday for a year.
> ...


 
*I make soap for a living and sodium hydroxide is sodium hydroxide. The only  other ingredient used in soap would be oil. (olive oil, lard ect.) So, gf was lying cause she would have been bald after the first bit of lye staying on her hair. EVERYDAY.. come on now*


----------



## Vashti (Aug 3, 2010)

Miss_C said:


> Anyway, my mom was still encouraging, telling me it would grow back, but I was anxious to be grown and let stylists and others besides my mom do my hair. So it stayed between NL and SL and became damaged. REALLY damaged. Embarrassingly so. I used to tell people I had had long hair in the past and they'd look at me like, riiiiight. The problem was, I couldn't really figure out how to grow it back. I knew I had the potential, just didn't know how to grow it.



See, this was me.erplexed


----------



## lilsparkle825 (Aug 3, 2010)

Miss_C said:


> Wait...haircare is for RICH PEOPLE??? BWAHAHAHAHA
> So, in 2010 people aren't pulling up to gated communities asking for Grey Poupon, they're asking for deep conditioner???? Gasping....for...air...
> 
> I can just picture the butler with the British accent walking you to the BSS and going: "Excuse me suhhh, but do you have any Joico K-Pak?????"
> ...


Well dang, they'd see some of our hair closets and think they had stumbled upon Fort Knox.


----------



## bella_boucles (Aug 3, 2010)

my sisters hair is horrible and she doesnt even try to have excuses she just keeps getting sew ins and just says she doesnt feel like caring for it.  she could still do this and use it to her advantage to help her hair grow but she honestly just doesnt give a crap....oh well.


----------



## DDTexlaxed (Aug 3, 2010)

Kurlee said:


> i was referring to hair like this
> 
> 
> 
> ...



WOW!  I will just pick up my jaw and leave now.   I really feel bad for her.


----------



## southerncitygirl (Aug 3, 2010)

i people keep saying that crap about i have that good hair i just utilize good practices to retain length which keeps it healthy. healthy hair is good hair......you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink....le sigh.


----------



## RegaLady (Aug 3, 2010)

Some people REALLY do like short hair, believe it or not.  I was one of them.  Although my hair would grow, I would turn right around and cut it off.  I liked/prefered it short.  Damaged is another thing, but short or short cuts are a bit different.  Some people liked how it flattered them and how low maintence they are.


----------



## davisbr88 (Aug 3, 2010)

This one girl in elementary school stood by this story for YEARS:
 "My brother cut my hair when I was 3 and messed it all up so it won't grow back"
I was thinking... Um.... boo, you're 12 now.... It won't grow because you put a curling iron to it everyday.
Now she's 22 and weaved up.
I've been dying to direct her to the site, but I know I'll get that same lame story.


----------



## DarkHair (Aug 3, 2010)

A friend visiting said that a local woman said 'the reason why our hair won't grow is because they change the water recently. Yours is long, that's why I know you're not from around here'.


----------



## Newbie2Beauty (Aug 3, 2010)

JustKiya said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwrL9MV6jSk
> 
> 
> 
> ...



OMG I am cracking up!  This thread is hilarious!!  Keep the stories coming!!


----------



## luvmesumhair (Aug 3, 2010)

Shoot.  Before I knew anything about hair, I use to tell people that "my hair only grows a certain length then it just starts thinning and breaking off.  It does not grow any longer then this.  That is why I cut it!"  Meanwhile, I did not know that wrapping it, blow drying, hot curling (everyday) and combing it roughly, especially when wet! was a big NO NO.  I would look at the floor full of hair behind me and just sigh and say "welp, guess it is time to get a trim again!  LOL  

Man O MAN I am so happy I found this site!


----------



## melissa-bee (Apr 2, 2011)

Bump..........


----------



## darlingdiva (Apr 2, 2011)

Miss_C said:


> Wait...haircare is for RICH PEOPLE??? BWAHAHAHAHA
> So, in 2010 people aren't pulling up to gated communities asking for Grey Poupon, they're asking for deep conditioner???? Gasping....for...air...
> 
> I can just picture the butler with the British accent walking you to the BSS and going: "Excuse me suhhh, but do you have any Joico K-Pak?????"
> ...


 
I thought my relatives were the only ones who said that "rich people" stuff when it comes to hair care.  There are some members of my family who say that I use "rich people" stuff because I buy hair products from Whole Foods, Vitamin Shoppe, and health food stores.


----------



## lovegymnasts (Apr 2, 2011)

Glamiam said:


> Omg this thread reminds me of this girl i went to highschool with. Her hair is neck-length and damaged but she hides it with weave all the time. Her excuse, "oh my hair was super long when i was little but the perm broke it all off smh"
> 
> but get this; she walks around with a picture of her hair when she was little to prove to people that she had long hair





Miss_C said:


> A note on people who say "I used to have long hair". That's what I used to say. And I did, when I was 14 my hair was cut from WL to around SL when I asked for layers my first time at the salon (***** looked at me and had the nerve to say 'What? When you ask for layers, that means short") Anyway, my mom was still encouraging, telling me it would grow back, but I was anxious to be grown and let stylists and others besides my mom do my hair. So it stayed between NL and SL and became damaged. REALLY damaged. Embarrassingly so. I used to tell people I had had long hair in the past and they'd look at me like, riiiiight. The problem was, I couldn't really figure out how to grow it back. I knew I had the potential, just didn't know how to grow it. My mom did, but I hated the idea of bunning all the time (needed to look cute ).
> So anyway, that one may be less of an excuse and more of an expression of loss and just wanting it to grow back and not knowing how. Sorry if that's completely OT, I just had to put that out there.
> 
> But the whole "I just like being **********"thing...Ummmmmm, riiiiiighhht.




The thing I truly truly truly don't understand is if someone had long hair as a child because their mother or who ever was taking care of their hair AND they want their hair to return to that length then why not...


have that person take care of your hair again or
have that person teach you how to take care of your hair or
do the things that allowed your hair to grow out as a child
instead of making excuses? 

You can find out how to grow it back by asking and listening to your Mama or who ever it was.
If the relaxer broke off all your hair and you want your length back, stop getting a relaxer.

If you do not want the long hair, fine.
If you truly do not care then fine.
If you truly do want it, don't make excuses while you do nothing or being hardheaded.


----------



## theLovelyStyle (Apr 2, 2011)

DarkHair said:


> A friend visiting said that a local woman said 'the reason why our hair won't grow is because they change the water recently. Yours is long, that's why I know you're not from around here'.



This is a good one


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## IMFOCSD (Apr 28, 2011)

Chaosbutterfly said:


> I love hearing that one.
> People will ask me what they should do about their breakage and thinning, and I'll just be like....you can start with spacing out your relaxer more. Instead of four weeks, wait six or eight. And only relax your new growth, not root to tip.
> 
> They'll look at me like I done killed their puppy. Talking some..."oh my hair is too thick and grows too fast to wait so long. I HAVE to relax every 4 weeks."
> ...


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## IMFOCSD (Apr 28, 2011)

Kurlee said:


> i was referring to hair like this
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Reniece is awesome & has done wonderful things to this persons hair.


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## Anakinsmomma (Apr 28, 2011)

Chaosbutterfly said:


> All my friends with damaged hair say that they like it that way and wear it that short and choppy on purpose. I just look at them like...come on son. Who cuts their ends into a W shape?
> 
> 
> That was the story that I told too though.
> ...



And now look at that length. That should be proof enough that proper care works.


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## Aviah (Apr 28, 2011)

" I had ringworm" (in reference to why your edges are missing). Granted, we were kids, but I'mm sure her mother told her that as she was braiding that kids hair so tight she had to pop some pain killers to go to sleep. I can tell you ringworm in your hairline those years ago have nothing to do with that...


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## Incognitus (Apr 28, 2011)

complexsimplicity said:


> "I used to have long hair but I cut it." Ummm....you cut it 5 years ago boo boo. Why is it still the same length it was when you cut it?
> ​



Hahaha....I've heard that many times too. Also, what's the deal with almost everyone saying they "used to have long hair until this one stylist cut it" or when they were a kid. It seems like EVERYONE had long hair as a kid and EVERYONE lost that length when a scissor happy stylist cut too much. LOL...


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## lesedi (Apr 28, 2011)

Glamiam said:


> Omg this thread reminds me of this girl i went to highschool with. Her hair is neck-length and damaged but she hides it with weave all the time. Her excuse, "oh my hair was super long when i was little but the perm broke it all off smh"
> 
> *but get this; she walks around with a picture of her hair when she was little to prove to people that she had long hair*


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## Anakinsmomma (Apr 28, 2011)

One day a friend decided to sit me down and tell me the following to help me after I said I was getting my thyroid checked cuz my hair was thinning (I'm having other health issues too...):

-I don't relax my hair often enough so my hair doesn't get "used to the chemicals"
-I should switch brands every three relaxers (wait, what? Doesn't that contradict the above?)
-I shouldn't slick my hair back (not realizing my hair wasn't "snatched back" but "scarfed down")
- get a blowout every week. 

Her hair is thinner than mine, has never been past SL and about a quarter of it is breaking off really badly in the front. Not gonna talk about the edges. It has "swang" but always looks dry.  Her excuse "my hairdresser knows how to grow hair but I don't go to her enough". She goes once a week! She always asks me to go with her so I can get my hair done by her hairdresser. I appreciate the thought, but no thanks.


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## lesedi (Apr 28, 2011)

Anakinsmomma said:


> One day a friend decided to sit me down and tell me the following to help me after I said I was getting my thyroid checked cuz my hair was thinning (I'm having other health issues too...):
> 
> -I don't relax my hair often enough so my hair doesn't get "used to the chemicals"
> -I should switch brands every three relaxers (wait, what? Doesn't that contradict the above?)
> ...


 
When my hair was relaxed (and healthy) i had all manner of people telling me this too. Talkin bout 'The heat grows the hair'.
Babygirl, how would you know anyway? You barely have an inch to press


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## *SkolarStar* (Apr 28, 2011)

complexsimplicity said:


> "I used to have long hair but I cut it." Ummm....you cut it 5 years ago boo boo. Why is it still the same length it was when you cut it?
> ​






Kurlee said:


> i was referring to hair like this
> 
> 
> 
> ...






HeChangedMyName said:


> I had hair down my back when i was a baby.  lol
> 
> i want to say. . .ok, *so you had 8" of hair for your whole entire life *then


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## mzteaze (Apr 28, 2011)

Some of these excuses....

I heard this one lately:
- My father has a receding hairline and I got it from him. (I'm sure its not your wig placement)

- The oft repeated, "You got good hair"


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## Incognitus (Apr 28, 2011)

Pre-LHCF, this is how I dealt with hair breakage or other setbacks:

I'd get depressed because of the setback. So I'd get expensive, natural-looking extensions (fusion, interlocking, etc) and keep on reapplying it until I'd get sick of weave in my hair. My motto was like that chicken infomercial: "just set it and forget it!" Sadly, that's exactly what I did. 

To make matters worse, I took more time, care, and patience with my expensive human hair than MY OWN darn hair on my head! So, I didn't have a problem with taking the time to care for hair (heck, I properly cared for my extensions). It was moreso me getting depressed about damage or a set back so I would hide the problem. As the old saying goes: outta sight, outta mind.

Thank goodness I stopped brushing my hair issues under the rug...


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## Anakinsmomma (Apr 28, 2011)

Incognitus said:


> Pre-LHCF, this is how I dealt with hair breakage or other setbacks:
> 
> I'd get depressed because of the setback. So I'd get expensive, natural-looking extensions (fusion, interlocking, etc) and keep on reapplying it until I'd get sick of weave in my hair. My motto was like that chicken infomercial: "just set it and forget it!" Sadly, that's exactly what I did.
> 
> ...



ITA. I used to get depressed all the time. I'd fry my hair for a certain occasion and I wasn't washing it enough and wondering why my hair wasn't holding a curl and/or frizzy. So a pony or weave was my crutch. But no more :no::no:


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## NIN4eva (Apr 28, 2011)

mzteaze said:


> Some of these excuses....
> 
> I heard this one lately:
> - My father has a receding hairline and I got it from him. (I'm sure its not your wig placement)
> ...




Maaaaan... it's crazy! I'm actually getting into back and forths with people about the bolded. People are telling _*me *_that I'm biracial and have "good" hair. When I say that I'm not and that I don't they want to disagree with me! It's crazy. There are still too many people who refuse to believe that it's possible to have healthy looking, long, relaxed 4b/c hair.


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## NIN4eva (Apr 28, 2011)

Anakinsmomma said:


> ITA. I used to get depressed all the time. I'd fry my hair for a certain occasion and I wasn't washing it enough and wondering why my hair wasn't holding a curl and/or frizzy. So a pony or weave was my crutch. But no more :no::no:




It's funny, I wanted to add some highlights for dimension but I'm too afraid to lighten my hair and cause a setback, so I thought I'd just put in some clip in's instead, but I couldn't do it. I wore wigs and pony's so much over the years and now that I feel free from them them just the idea of wearing any kind of extensions is too off putting. I'd rather go without.


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## mzteaze (Apr 28, 2011)

You know the sad part, all the money I spent over YEARS buying weaves when my natural hair is now at or near the length I used to buy.

My mom told me recently that I have "good" hair.  Ugh.

I have come to realize that people won't accept the amount of work necessary to keep hair growing.


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## LovelyNaps26 (Apr 28, 2011)

"my hair is short and sassy. like halle berry's"


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## Vashti (Apr 28, 2011)

mzteaze said:


> You know the sad part, all the money I spent over YEARS buying weaves when my natural hair is now at or near the length I used to buy.
> 
> My mom told me recently that I have "good" hair.  Ugh.
> 
> I have come to realize that *people won't accept the amount of work necessary to keep hair growing*.




See, this is what gets me. Why can't they ask you how you got your hair to progress and grow? It's like they have no motivation or desire for better, healthier hair for themselves. They just accept this idea that they can't have nice, long hair.

I've had broken off, damaged hair for years and now one woman at work menmtioned that I "got good hair." I have the same hair texture she has but all of a sudden I havegood hair? Whatever happened to asking for better information so you can improve what you have?


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## daydreem2876 (Apr 28, 2011)

But my beautician says....


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## Guyaneek (Apr 28, 2011)

Seraphina said:


> I'm sorry but
> 
> I honestly think it's simply a lack of knowledge and thereby a lack of confidence that they can have healthy, long hair.  If BW hadn't collectively been taught that beautiful hair is unattainable for us, folks may put more effort into it. And since so many of us have a deep hate for our hair textures, a lot of women would just rather not deal with or think about it and focus their time/energy/money on just abusing it into submission.
> 
> Plus, if they truly believe that it's out of their reach, I think it's easier for them to pretend that they don't care.



Wow!!!  So well said!!!!


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## mzteaze (Apr 28, 2011)

Vashti said:


> See, this is what gets me. Why can't they ask you how you got your hair to progress and grow? It's like they have no motivation or desire for better, healthier hair for themselves. They just accept this idea that they can't have nice, long hair.
> 
> I've had broken off, damaged hair for years and now one woman at work menmtioned that I "got good hair." I have the same hair texture she has but all of a sudden I havegood hair? Whatever happened to asking for better information so you can improve what you have?



Its easier to say its "good" (i.e. unattainable) hair than to admit that with a little knowledge and work you can make it happen with YOUR hair.


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## Dizz (Apr 28, 2011)

Polyesterdiva said:


> OMG you HAVE ME ROLLING!
> 
> I know what you mean, unless they cut their hair with *those special zig-zag scissors for construction paper projects!*





    LOOOOOOOL! I remember those!!!!


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## silenttullip (Apr 28, 2011)

It's true... Even my lil sis told me
"most people still don't know anything about hair
since you told me what you've learned I've gained so much
info and length... People wash their hair every 2 months, no dcing or anything then get a perm"
I thought I was lazy for not moisturizing and sealing daily lol
it's true we are a special bunch



HeChangedMyName said:


> some. . .no, most. . . .actually, very few woman are as compulsive about hair care as we are.  lol  We're special.


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## ericajoy (Apr 29, 2011)

This dang thread has kept me up until 1:00 in the morning. I even made myself some popcorn, no joke. Like I don't have to get up and go to work tomorrow.

It made me think about how we learn to care for our hair (or don't). My mom was always pretty careful when it came to relaxers and not putting rubber bands in too tight and things like that...(but I wish she had known about detangling with conditioner -- oh man). Even though I don't remember her actually sitting us down and teaching us what to do, some of her healthy hair practices were just ingrained. 

Now having said that, I still had plenty of bad hair habits to unlearn. But I can't imagine where I'd be if my mom was one to relax our hair every 4 weeks or not use conditioner or something like that. That would be a LOT more to unlearn.

Anyway, just a thought...now good night evil thread, good night!!


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## Missjae09 (Apr 29, 2011)

Someone actually told me that their mother's hair wouldn't grow anymore because she's cut it too much! so I said do you mean she cuts it as fast as it grows? and she says "no, it just doesn't grow because she's cut it so much!" l I felt compailed to remind this person that hair grows from the scalp so cutting hair doesn't prevent growth, but it was no use, she was stuck on stupid ​


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## NIN4eva (Apr 29, 2011)

Missjae09 said:


> Someone actually told me that their mother's hair wouldn't grow anymore because she's cut it too much! so I said do you mean she cuts it as fast as it grows? and she says "no, it just doesn't grow because she's cut it so much!" l I felt compailed to remind this person that hair grows from the scalp so cutting hair doesn't prevent growth, but it was no use, she was stuck on stupid ​




Wow. I wonder what it's like to go through life with a brain like that. erplexed


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## Geminigirl (Apr 29, 2011)

yea this guy was telling me has good hair so all he needs to do is wet his hair in the shower and then he can comb his plaits out. He also told me his hair looks thick but its really thin, uhhh nah bruh it looks thin. And he also told me his hair is longer then it looks. His hair is maybe shoulder length and very thin and broken off and damaged. Sorry boo you don't have good hair. Yo people lied to you.


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## Almaz (Apr 29, 2011)

Well no one would listen to me if I tried to give them advice anyway one lady was like 

Well Almaz you Ethiopian I have seen most of the people in your family All the women gots long hair what can you tell me. 

I was like Well Even though we all have long hair we take care of it or it will end up looking like yours.


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## Janet' (Apr 30, 2011)

Interesting, funny, and sad...all at the same time...


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## lesedi (Apr 30, 2011)

Geminigirl said:


> yea this guy was telling me has good hair so all he needs to do is wet his hair in the shower and then he can comb his plaits out. He also told me his hair looks thick but its really thin, uhhh nah bruh it looks thin. And he also told me his hair is longer then it looks. His hair is maybe shoulder length and very thin and broken off and damaged. Sorry boo you don't have good hair.* Yo people lied to you*.


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## laurend085 (Apr 30, 2011)

Qualitee said:


> Most popular "I dont got that good hair"



My mom told me I had sometime-y hair as a child Sometimes it would act good and sometimes it wouldn't whatever that means. 

Also I just recently cut off my relaxed ends and have worn my natural texture (right now it's in a ps)

I got comments some backhanded compliments from family like "I didn't think it would curl like that" my aunt suggested I wear my puff to my sisters wedding and my cousin goes "OH NO!" like that would be a big disaster. 

Then my future sil was over and she's talking about going "natural" because she's newly pregnant but what I think she means is just not getting a perm while pregnant. 

My sister goes "it'll look good on you, you have that good hair". Ummm all you've seen is her permed hair and you only assume it's good because it's apl. 

Also my sister has successfully broken her and my nieces from poor hair care choices ( putting heat on my  8 year old nieces hair everyday tight ponytails not taking care of my nieces hair after having a texturizer put on, my niece went from almost apl to nl in a matter of months)

But she blames it on the stylist. 

In conclusion some people won't believe that hair can ever be healthy or grow like others.


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## lolascurls (Apr 30, 2011)

Great thread! 
I tend to just be quiet about haircare until people ask me!
I first direct them to some online sites to start off their research. Then, if they're keen, they come back and start asking me the pertinent questions. A new work colleague as recently joined the status of haircare buddy! She's so exicted taking care of hers and her baby girl's hair. She was starting to worry that her daughter may feel inferior to her mixed cousin's hair once they're past the baby stages of hair growth! 

Some people will not listen though. I had two sisters (family friends) telling me they had 4c hair and not hair like mine (because they could see the smoothed waves at my 4a/4b hair in a protective style). They thought that relaxers couldn't fully relax their hair and they just couldn't grow. 
Well, I threw in the "just co-wash and deep condition" line and I can only hope they will start there! Afterall, I'm still transitioning to natural so who knows what my hair will look like!
My work "haircare buddy" has now discovered the joys of baggying!


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## prettypithy (May 6, 2011)

I recently showed my friend a growth pic of my hair and she said: "My hair was that long last year and a stylist cut it all off." Okay, I have known her my whole life and never seen it past chin length. And she wants me to believe she grew it to grazing APL without me seeing it? And no photo evidence? And a stylist just cut like 6 inches? I know stylists can be dastardly but for real?

This is also a friend who insists she could sit on her hair when she was little. Of course, I've known her since she was 7--it was broken off EL-NL then. She says her mom cut it when she was 7 and it just never grew back. SMH.


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## curlcomplexity (May 6, 2011)

...I used to have really long hair when I was little, but then my mama/gramdma/salon lady/auntie gave me a "perm" when I was like 5 and it never grew back

This one I hear all the time!


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## Incognitus (May 6, 2011)

^^Me too! Sometimes I wonder if the person actually believes the tale they are telling... Sometimes, if a person lies to themselves (or others) long enough, it becomes increasingly difficult to distinguish between fact and fiction.


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## ladybettle (Jun 8, 2011)

It is so sad that the lack of knowledge about hair care among BW is very scary. I hate hearing about  "good" hair and "bad" hair. It's just we do not know how to properly take care of curly kinky hair that it has become generational like a curse.


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## ladybettle (Jun 8, 2011)

Knowledge is power.....


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