# long hair ladies & how u really feel about those stares?



## Dposh167 (Oct 6, 2008)

...a friend of mine..who is black..has waist length relaxed hair. We were in this store looking around..and i happened to notice this black girl staring my friend doooown. Im used to her hair so its nothig...but i do notice when others stop in amazement. HOWEVER this chick was serious with her staring. She didnt even look away when my friend caught her staring. Needless to say...my friend got really mad. She usually doesnt...but after seeing her react this way it made me think about what its like to be the one being stared at. sometimes staring in admiration can be confused with staring in hate or jealousy....SOOO...ladies with around apl or longer lengths....how do u feel when u get those deadly stares?...are u uncomfortable?....do folks say anything to u both pos. & neg.?...if they do stare in a neg way, do u find urself doing a flip of the hair to put them in check?...idk...anything else?....please be honest & vain if u choose... u can leave ur modesty at the door in this thread lol


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## TexturedTresses (Oct 6, 2008)

I'm not going to lie.  I run my finger through my hair or flip it over my shoulder so they can know its real.  I don't get upset though.  I always want to stare at people's hair and I sometimes find it hard to avert my gaze.  So I know the feeling.


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## Je Ne Sais Quoi (Oct 6, 2008)

When I was recently APL I didn't get stares, probably because my hair was a bush


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## babyleaf (Oct 6, 2008)

I think it is hilarious! Funny thing is, most people that look at my hair are only looking to find the tracks....so that is why I find it sooo amusing. Truth being, when I get a hair weave ( which will be really soon, if my hair continues to be dry like the sahara), it will be STUPID long and look nothing like my locks. I am gonna go for the hawaillan silky look...


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## MissMeWithThatIsh (Oct 6, 2008)

For some odd reason, when I do have longer hair, it's the women who only look to PROVE that it's not mine when they catch men staring.

I was in a BSS in Brooklyn and I had a WL wet and wavy in. This dude thought I was Indian so the girls came up to me to see just so they could prove I wasn't.

I know I don't qualify to respond but still... women will always look to refute bc of their own insecurity...and that's sad and stupid. Get some MT and grow your own.


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## Dposh167 (Oct 6, 2008)

babyleaf said:


> I think it is hilarious! Funny thing is, most people that look at my hair are only looking to find the tracks....so that is why I find it sooo amusing. Truth being, when I get a hair weave ( which will be really soon, if my hair continues to be dry like the sahara), it will be STUPID long and look nothing like my locks. I am gonna go for the hawaillan silky look...



lolol....see when its real u have nothing to worry about. Thats a great feeling to have. But when i have my clip on tracks in blended with my SL hair...and someone is staring me down looking for a track.....i find myself praying to the lawd jezzzuss dont let the wind blow....please wind dont blow lol


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## feelfree (Oct 6, 2008)

my hair has hovered between APL and BSL most of my life, and when i have chosen to wear it down in public, i would get a lot of "oh girl, is that all your hair?" and comments in a similar vein.  nothing negative, really.  and those who stare would just look away when caught.  

but i have *always* been apt to wear my hair up, so on the few occasions when i have worn it down, friends and strangers have been like "dang! where did all that hair come from?"


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## meecee (Oct 6, 2008)

Honestly I don't notice them unless someone points it out. My family and I tend to get stares around here regardless (clearly we aren't from this area to some people). I know my hair does not appear to be weave and every now and then I'll get a complement from a genuinely nice stranger.


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## BostonMaria (Oct 6, 2008)

I'm usually clueless when people are staring at me - men or women. My daughter has long hair and I do notice when people give her dirty looks, which as a mom I don't appreciate. You know how catty teens are.

When I have my hair curly I sometimes will get that "is that a wig" look.  I fluff it up or pull it to let them know, yes this is mine   If I blow dry my hair and its freshly washed I sometimes get a "is that a weave" look. If its been a few days and it looks dry, eh I won't get that look. Again, I will twirl my hair or pull it to let them know its not a weave..

Why go through all that hassle? Because just this year alone I had a few people pull my hair!  Yes I'm not lying!  And had a few co-workers ask me if I was wearing a weave.


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## Chrissmiss (Oct 6, 2008)

I usually don't notice the stares. The people I am with usually tell me. When I was working as a cashier I got a countless number of comments from customers. "Is that all yours?" "How do you manage all of that?" "What did you do to get it like that?" And then there are the people who ask what im mixed with and tell me I have the longest hair they've ever seen on a black girl. I have also gotten some dirtty stares and snide "weave" comments before, but I just roll my eyes and go on about my business. Oh and I've had several weave checks from people running their finger through my hair and over my scalp. That is the only thing that will get me angry!


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## TexturedTresses (Oct 6, 2008)

I don't think its about length though.  I think its about thickness, health, and style.  I'm not going to lie.  When I see women with short bobs that are really thick and fabulous looking, I wonder if its a weave.


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## YvonneL (Oct 6, 2008)

I wore my hair out for two weeks after a three month stretch. When I returned to my half wigs everyone thought it was my hair. What do you do? Tell them its fake or just say thank you cause they re just staring to find out. I think its funny and it makes me proud of the work ive put in.


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## Eisani (Oct 6, 2008)

sandyrabbit said:


> I'm not going to lie. I run my finger through my hair or flip it over my shoulder so they can know its real. I don't get upset though. I always want to stare at people's hair and I sometimes find it hard to avert my gaze. So I know the feeling.


 
I really still don't consider my hair long, but I do the same thing or turn my head really fast like someone called my name Sometimes I'll also pull out a clip, finger comb then put it up. Other times, I just KIM. Depends on my mood and who's doing the looking.


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## tada1 (Oct 6, 2008)

disclaimer: okay so my hair is barely APL so i guess it's not "long" by my standards, and Im currently growing out my layers.

I never thought i'll say this, but i HATE it when people stare at my hair! I hate it hate it hate it  I'll rather get a negative comment, or a positive comment than the weird deer in the headlight stare. Especially from guys. In the town i live, brown skin is still a minority, so the colored folk just stare and dont even know what to say. While the white folk are always quick to say how nice it looks.what gives?

The other day i wore my hair down, I was not impressed by how many people thought it was okay to run their fingers through it without permission! 

venting complete


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## locabouthair (Oct 6, 2008)

you know the stares mean you're doing something right


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## CHECKMATE! (Oct 6, 2008)

I don't mind at all.  I just hate the "do u have or is that a weave" comments...my coworkers are amazed at my current length since I always keep my hair in a bun.


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## Digital Tempest (Oct 6, 2008)

When I had longish hair before going natural, I didn't notice people staring. I do remember that I used to love wearing my hair in two braided pigtails when I was into the club scene, and I used to HATE how people took that as an invitation to pull my hair. It's always been a natural reaction for me slap hands when people start touching my hair. 

I'm natural now, but shoulder length when stretched, so I'm not showing a lot of length. I notice people staring from time to time, but not in a negative staring way, more of a "hmmm..." kind of way because a lot of people think my hair is twisted or I have a texturizer or they talk about how soft my hair looks (since a lot of people tend to natural hair is supposed to look hard and dry). 

Now, I have a cousin who's WL with thick, 3a/3b-ish hair. We were out recently and some girls were staring at her hair while eye-rolling and debating whether it was a weave or not. She was oblivious. One girl was so positive it was not her hair, and she didn't realize that we were together until I politely informed her that was my cousin she was talking about and her hair was in fact all real and that black women could grow a healthy head of beautiful, long hair in case she hadn't gotten the memo.


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## chavascandy (Oct 6, 2008)

When get stares, I start laughing.  Then I immedately feel like I have something stuck on my face,....and start believeing that maybe that's why people are staring.....Then I start to remember that maybe it's my hair that they are staring at.


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## billyne (Oct 6, 2008)

yeah..it's kind of funny when it happens..i remember one time i had my hair up in a afro puff and was at a festival ,and a lady that was staring came up to me and said i had a bad ass hair piece in my head..i just told her thanks and kept on shopping.lol


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## Dposh167 (Oct 6, 2008)

Digital Tempest said:


> When I had longish hair before going natural, I didn't notice people staring. I do remember that I used to love wearing my hair in two braided pigtails when I was into the club scene, and I used to HATE how people took that as an invitation to pull my hair. It's always been a natural reaction for me slap hands when people start touching my hair.
> 
> I'm natural now, but shoulder length when stretched, so I'm not showing a lot of length. I notice people staring from time to time, but not in a negative staring way, more of a "hmmm..." kind of way because a lot of people think my hair is twisted or I have a texturizer or they talk about how soft my hair looks (since a lot of people tend to natural hair is supposed to look hard and dry).
> 
> Now, I have a cousin who's WL with thick, 3a/3b-ish hair. We were out recently and some girls were staring at her hair while eye-rolling.....


  woow...what was the girl's response to u after saying that?


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## 1QTPie (Oct 6, 2008)

My hair isn't long-long. But no one stares. They comment, but they don't stare. Probably because I go the same places all the time. They are just used to my short curly hair. It's always a surprise to see it straight and much longer.


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## Te'TahHead (Oct 6, 2008)

I get stared at a lot too. I don't think it is my hair in and of itself, it is more so people just think they KNOW I'm not from down here.

Rarely do women comment to me about it. I just see the stares. I'm not gonna lie, I like it.

I can handle the stares


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## Geminigirl (Oct 6, 2008)

This thread is great. I am subscribing now. I always wonder how people feel about the stares, because I'm not gonna lie I have to stop myself from staring as well. I love hair and healthy hair at that. I love the different textures and swirls and curls people's hair can have.


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## NGraceO (Oct 6, 2008)

poochie167 said:


> lolol....see when its real u have nothing to worry about. Thats a great feeling to have. But when i have my clip on tracks in blended with my SL hair...and someone is staring me down looking for a track.....*i find myself praying to the lawd jezzzuss dont let the wind blow....please wind dont blow lol*


 
LMBO...that is the FUNNIEST thing I ever  heard...LOL


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## Digital Tempest (Oct 6, 2008)

billyne said:


> yeah..it's kind of funny when it happens..i remember one time i had my hair up in a afro puff and was at a festival ,and a lady that was staring came up to me and said i had a bad ass hair piece in my head..i just told her thanks and kept on shopping.lol



I had that happen to me once when I was out to lunch with a friend, but it was with my nappy bun. A lady wanted to know where I bought it because she wanted one. I told her: "I got it from a little place you might know called MY SCALP." She looked at me like erplexed and kept it moving. 



poochie167 said:


> woow...what was the girl's response to u after saying that?



She sort of gave me this sheepish grin and said: "Oh, my bad." I just turned away with a small shake of my head after that because I'd said my piece and left it at that.


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## nomoweavesfome (Oct 6, 2008)

My hair isn't waist length or nothing, but I have caught a couple stares. I don't mind.  Usually it will be on one of those good swangin days so, I find it admirable.


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## T_shea (Oct 6, 2008)

I am around BSL, but this is the longest it's ever been since I was a child. I'm completely natural since 2003. I get the most weird looks in the salon while getting my hair washed. All the other stylists look at me like DAMN, I am so glad I don't have to wrestle all that hair. But I love it, even in an afro ppl ask is that all my hair. For me I have a lot of hair & not necessarily length. Ladies, fling your hair and smile when they stare. Or even run your fingers through it, I would. ;>


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## naturalgurl (Oct 6, 2008)

Te'TahHead said:


> I get stared at a lot too. I don't think it is my hair in and of itself, it is more so people just think they KNOW I'm not from down here.
> 
> Rarely do women comment to me about it. I just see the stares. I'm not gonna lie, I like it.
> 
> I can handle the stares


 

Your siggy! Good job. I did the race too but power walked it under an hour. I do all breast cancer walks/races, I've lost three loved ones to the disease...

As for the long hair stares. I wear my hair natural and up in buns most times. When you look at most of my buns you can tell I must have some length. It's really weird, but sometimes I can "feel" people move up closer to look deep into my head. Sometimes I let them get lost in this mane, other times I turn around really quick to catch them in the act and watch them squirm...


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## Eclass215 (Oct 6, 2008)

I have actually had this happen both when I had a short weave and when I wear my hair out.  The short weave was the funniest because I didn't see it myself, my guy friend who was with me noticed and pointed it out.  I was at a BSS in Philly and I knew there was a group of girls standing close by, but I didn't know they looked me up and down the whole time I stood in line   he told me when we left and I thought it was hilarious.

And just this past Friday I went out and made a comment about not wanting my hair to smell like smoke in this club and this guy said "Oh you mean your weave?"  He said it as a joke, but I know he thought it was fake.  And my hair isn't even THAT long.  I have to prepare myself for when it actually gets longer.  Ugh.


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## trj1922 (Oct 6, 2008)

My hair ain't nothin' to write home about and it is usually bunned.  I get between APL and BSL without much effort.  My hair has thinned considerably in recent years, but back when I would actually wear it straightened and loose, I got stares up the wazoo.  A few people wanted to know if it was a weave, which I thought was utterly stupid since one of the telltale signs of  a weave is abnormal or uneven volume.  My little thin flat hair ain't no weave, and if it was I need to have gotten my money back. 

Black folks are often so brainwashed into believing that we can't grow hair that the sight of a woman with shoulder length or longer hair shuts off their common sense!


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## DDTexlaxed (Oct 6, 2008)

I'm guilty of staring, but I try not to get caught! Sorry, I love long hair and I admire it on others.  If I ever get there...I'd take it as a compliment.


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## gabulldawg (Oct 6, 2008)

I usually notice the stares when I'm wearing my "hair pieces.  I'm pretty sure people are trying to figure out if it's mine or not. I do a good job of blending my hair and getting hair that matches my texture and color so it's usually hard to figure out if it's real or fake. I enjoy the stares because I figure the longer they stare the harder it is to figure out if it's mine or not! 

When I wear my own hair I don't usually get too many stares or questions. I'm only APL now. When I was younger and close to BSL people would ask me if all my hair was mine on the regular. They'd also ask if I added tracks to it because it used to be so THICK!


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## explosiva9 (Oct 6, 2008)

I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem.  Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern.  But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair.  I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair.  she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious!  My hair was BSL at that point.  Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!


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## Ediese (Oct 6, 2008)

LOL I'm a little past APL, but I haven't noticed anyone giving me the "stare" yet. That'll probably change when I get to MBL because then it'll be long and BIG. lol I can't wait.


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## bravenewgirl87 (Oct 6, 2008)

Chrissmiss said:


> And then there are the people who ask what im mixed with and tell me I have the longest hair they've ever seen on a black girl. I


*This doesn't surprise me given your location. It wouldn't surprise me either if the people who asked were white. J-Ville has some very peculiar people with a odd perception of blacks.*


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## *Muffin* (Oct 6, 2008)

I can understand why a person would be annoyed if someone was staring them down and looking hateful.  Sometimes people's bad energy rubs others the wrong way and they react angrily.  On the other hand if a person is staring and has a pleasant look, like they truly admire your hair, it makes you feel good.  Overall, I don't think anyone likes to be looked at like they are a circus freak. And no one wants to receive negative feedback on something they've worked so hard to accomplish.


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## NYAmicas (Oct 6, 2008)

Like some others I really dont notice and I dont get many stares to my knowledge but DH has caught some glares thrown in my direction. I think some people think I'm mixed due to some comments so I guess that's why they arent that crazy with it. Wasitlength!? I'd be staring too to be honest, but not rudely lol.


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## truequeen06 (Oct 6, 2008)

I don't mind too much when people stare, but sometimes I get those nasty stares with someone looking me up and down or a group of girls staring me up and down and coming up behind me saying loudly "Now she knows that ain't her hair" or "I hate when people get unrealistic weaves when they know there's no way their hair can be that long."  At that point I'll bust out a ponytail holder or something and start playing with my hair and putting it up in a way that makes it obvious its not a weave.  The catty-ness of some women when it comes to hair never ceases to amaze me.


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## NYAmicas (Oct 6, 2008)

explosiva9 said:


> I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem.  Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern.  But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair.  I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair.  she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious!  My hair was BSL at that point.  Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!



That's crazy!  I'm glad you got the upper hand. I cant believe someone would have the audacity to do that.


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## nappystorm (Oct 6, 2008)

every now and then I will straighten for shock value. Being the narcissist (sp) I am, I love it!


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## empressri (Oct 6, 2008)

I'd rather someone ask out of genuine curiosity, but when I get that "you must be mixed" sh*t then I'm rearing up to politely cuss them out.

My people, my people.


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## Mars_Reiko (Oct 7, 2008)

I get stares, but most people say "your hair is beautiful", then immediately after that ask "is it yours?" lol I find it so hilarious.


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## luckiestdestiny (Oct 7, 2008)

I get stares as its closing in on midback, and they don't seem friendly but I don't care. I don't flip it because I don't care to prove myself.  Is it annoying? Sometimes, but I like my hair long so oh well.  There's worse things in the world than being stared at for having long hair.  The other day I went in a pizza parlor and this girl did a double take and came in. I already knew what it was about. She looked me up and down and then left. My boyfriend was like wtf? I just said "women" and he was like, he knew some women were competitive but he'd never seen anything like that before. He'd seen them look at me, but not enough to come in a store and stare and then leave. It was hilarious!


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## luckiestdestiny (Oct 7, 2008)

tada1 said:


> disclaimer: okay so my hair is barely APL so i guess it's not "long" by my standards, and Im currently growing out my layers.
> 
> I never thought i'll say this, but i HATE it when people stare at my hair! I hate it hate it hate it  I'll rather get a negative comment, or a positive comment than the weird deer in the headlight stare. Especially from guys. In the town i live, brown skin is still a minority, so the colored folk just stare and dont even know what to say. While the white folk are always quick to say how nice it looks.what gives?
> 
> ...


 Um yeah. I get that to, until I give the look of death. Maybe they think its okay but it's just not. I don't know where your hands have been, and I don't want everyone's hands in my hair anyways. I avoid manipulation, so why would I want someone else doing it.  That is crazy that someone would do that. Maybe it's also a weave check. I never thought of that before.


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## Extremus (Oct 7, 2008)

explosiva9 said:


> I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem.  Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern.  But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair.  I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair.  she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious!  My hair was BSL at that point.  Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!



omg! the lengths women would take off of hatred/jealousy  sad.



truequeen06 said:


> I don't mind too much when people stare, but sometimes I get those nasty stares with someone looking me up and down or a group of girls staring me up and down and coming up behind me saying loudly "Now she knows that ain't her hair" or "I hate when people get unrealistic weaves when they know there's no way their hair can be that long."  At that point I'll bust out a ponytail holder or something and start playing with my hair and putting it up in a way that makes it obvious its not a weave.  The catty-ness of some women when it comes to hair never ceases to amaze me.



 I'm sorry, but my ego would be boosted  I feed off of hatred


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## HoneyA (Oct 7, 2008)

I do sometimes find the stares disconcerting and I figure it's because of my hair but whatever. When it's open I part it down the middle so it is obvious it's real I think. I don't mind too much but it does get annoying sometimes. If I get weird stares now, what's it going to be like at WL? The women who do actually say something invariably ask if it's all mine...


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## Extremus (Oct 7, 2008)

HoneyA said:


> I do sometimes find the stares disconcerting and I figure it's because of my hair but whatever. *When it's open I part it down the middle so it is obvious it's real I think*. I don't mind too much but it does get annoying sometimes. If I get weird stares now, what's it going to be like at WL? The women who do actually say something invariably ask if it's all mine...



me 2


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## Neith (Oct 7, 2008)

truequeen06 said:


> I don't mind too much when people stare, but sometimes *I get those nasty stares with someone looking me up and down or a group of girls staring me up and down and coming up behind me saying loudly "Now she knows that ain't her hair"* or "I hate when people get unrealistic weaves when they know there's no way their hair can be that long."  At that point I'll bust out a ponytail holder or something and start playing with my hair and putting it up in a way that makes it obvious its not a weave.  The catty-ness of some women when it comes to hair never ceases to amaze me.



That happened to ME (I barely have any hair, especially with the shrinkage ) on the train one day.  

I was shocked that anyone would think it is a weave.  This was months back and my hair was at least 3 inches shorter. 

I just laughed.  That's usually my reaction to jealous idiots.


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## Irresistible (Oct 7, 2008)

E_Williams20 said:


> I'm sorry, but my ego would be boosted  I feed off of hatred


I wanna be like you when I grow up 

my mind is just usually blown at the levels it can go to

to answer the thread though,  I dont care about stares at all


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## MA2010 (Oct 7, 2008)

I don't have longer hair to my standards (APL or longer). I'm SL with a whole lot of swang.....lol. I still get asked "is that *all* your hair" and it works my nerve at times. It's like no one expects me, a black women, to produce hair of my own even if it's just to my shoulders .


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## SmilingElephant (Oct 7, 2008)

I haven't gotten too much negativity. But my mom is seriously hating on my hair bc she ended up chopping all hers off and won't listen to me about how to grow it back bc apparently "i think i know everything" when i'm the only female in my house with almost MBL hair. She's always saying my hair is nappy....even right after i got a relaxer and it was straight!!! lol....i put it in two pigtails the other day jus to show off my roots...lol...and i went to work with it like that....they were cute sophisticated looking pigtails....not in the air.....but i felt cute bc my tails were all over my back...lol...and my mom kept saying i looked a mess but i got a million compliments at work on my hair....there's this one guy who begs me to bring back the pigtails...LOL!!! And yeah i do the hair flip!

I was also at an event this weekend an all my friends that i hadn't seen in a while were there and they couldn't believe how long my hair had gotten!! My one friend actually turned me around to see how long it was! and everybody wanted to touch it....but i'm 5'8 and i walk fast....so that wasn't too easy for them! lol


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## zzirvingj (Oct 7, 2008)

Mars_Reiko said:


> I get stares, but most people say "your hair is beautiful", then immediately after that ask "is it yours?" lol I find it so hilarious.


 
Your hair IS beautiful


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## zzirvingj (Oct 7, 2008)

To answer the OP's question, I don't think I get stared at much...if I do then I just don't notice it.  I usually have my hair in a bun so the few times I do see someone looking, they will usually make a comment.  

A lady I knew was looking at it in a bun while we were on an elevator asked me after getting off the elevator if my hair was "all virgin hair".  And then she told me it was beautiful.

Another time I had it in a bun (also on an elevator lol)...a man asked if my hair was "all natural", and when I told him yes, he said, "Now THAT'S something you certainly don't see very often!" lol

And one time I was in Whole Foods (my hair was pressed) and I thought a guy was kinda looking at me while in the produce section....he came up to me and said, "Your hair is natural, right?"  I told him yes, and he asked if I had just gotten it blow dried or straightened or whatever, and I told him yeah.  He said that it looked really nice.

If I get hateful stares I hope to continue not noticing them cause I don't like alot of attention to begin with, so negative attention would rub me the wrong way.  I wouldn't start flipping hair or anything, but I would try with all my heart not to give someone the evil eye, but rather to just keep it moving....away from their negative vibes.


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## Gracie (Oct 7, 2008)

I don't get offended or irritated because people have always been curious about my hair since I as a little girl.  I just speak to them and if they are wondering or have questions they usually feel comfortable enough to ask.  I will admit...I like the compliments LOL


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## Barbara (Oct 7, 2008)

I normally don’t notice, because I carry on nonchalantly as if I’m wearing my hair in a protective style.  Even when I’m in the salon, I just read my book or magazine while my stylist is working on my hair.  However, some of the other stylists and their customers have talked to my stylist about my hair.  Then if he needs some input from me, I’ll tell them.  

To my surprise, some men and women have asked me about my hair while it’s in a bun.  They tell me that it’s very healthy looking, it’s a lot of hair, and they ask me for my regimen.  I normally tell them.

Now every once in a while when it’s down, I’ll noticed that someone will look at me as if they’re shocked—as if they’ve seen a ghost, and it never dawned on me that they’re probably staring at my hair.  It attracts attention, especially from men.

I normally don’t wear it down except when I leave the salon or on special occasions, but now I hear horror stories about what’s happening to some of our members who’ve had bad experiences by others messing with their hair.  So if I take public transportation, I make sure I keep my hair up.


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## MizAvalon (Oct 7, 2008)

Digital Tempest said:


> I had that happen to me once when I was out to lunch with a friend, but it was with my nappy bun. A lady wanted to know where I bought it because she wanted one. I told her: "I got it from a little place you might know called MY SCALP." She looked at me like erplexed and kept it moving.
> 
> 
> 
> She sort of gave me this sheepish grin and said: "Oh, my bad." I just turned away with a small shake of my head after that because I'd said my piece and left it at that.


 
Bwaahahahaha!!!


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## BlackPearl1 (Oct 7, 2008)

Ever since I was in junior high school my older cousin told me " when women see you; they are going to think your hair is a weave. Don't get mad just take it as a compliment." So whether I get a positive or negative reaction from women, I just take it as a compliment  and go about my business. People will be people. I happen to think hair is beautiful, what ever  the length may be as long as its healthy .


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## BlackPearl1 (Oct 7, 2008)

Chrissmiss said:


> I usually don't notice the stares. The people I am with usually tell me. When I was working as a cashier I got a countless number of comments from customers. "Is that all yours?" "How do you manage all of that?" "What did you do to get it like that?" And then there are the people who ask what im mixed with and tell me I have the longest hair they've ever seen on a black girl. I have also gotten some dirtty stares and snide "weave" comments before, but I just roll my eyes and go on about my business. Oh and I've had several weave checks from people running their finger through my hair and over my scalp. That is the only thing that will get me angry!



My reaction has gotten faster over the years do to people doing the same thing to me. I also try not let some people stand in arm length of me , because it usually ends in them trying to do a weave check .


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## mnemosyne (Oct 7, 2008)

I must not be going to the same places everyone else is cause no one better dare try to get their fingers near my hair.... except for firecracker, she's allowed. 

Anyway... I don't think people stare at my hair much at all and it's entirely too thin for anyone to think it's a weave, I'd hope. 

I do, however, check out other people's hair alll the time. I try not to be dumb about it, but I will have an inquisitive look on my face. Normally I'm hoping it IS all their hair and they're a member rather than looking for tracks or something. 

Or I'll glance and go "I like her hair's thickness, why can't mine curl like that?" yadda yadda...


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## lisana (Oct 7, 2008)

I really don't think everyone who stares or inquires is being mean or disrespectful...let's always be gracious if we happen to be blessed with what many would want but may never have. I really gotta say one of the responses to a woman was hella rude and for some reason I immediately thought of that lil gal who was jacked up by that man standing in line at mickey d's...ain't saying it's right but I can only imagine how insulted I would have felt if I asked someone where they got their hair from and they said something totally uncalled for.. if I mistook it for fake but was not trying to be nasty why can't you just say "this is my real hair" and keep it moving? Now having said this, as my hair is approaching apl, I get the stares too, but unless someone is being really nasty, I just keep it moving, ain't that serious...and I would much rather be the chick being stared down because of the beatiful mane than the one being stared down cause she look like Jay-Z


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## NYAmicas (Oct 7, 2008)

lisana said:


> I really don't think everyone who stares or inquires is being mean or disrespectful...let's always be gracious if we happen to be blessed with what many would want but may never have. I really gotta say one of the responses to a woman was hella rude and for some reason I immediately thought of that lil gal who was jacked up by that man standing in line at mickey d's...ain't saying it's right but I can only imagine how insulted I would have felt if I asked someone were they got their hair from and they said something totally uncalled... if I mistook it for real but was not trying to be nasty why can't you just say "this is my real hair" and keep it moving? Now having said this, as my hair is approaching apl, I get the stares too, but unless someone is being really nasty, I just keep it moving, ain't that serious...and I would much rather be the chick being stared down because of the beatiful mane than the one being stared down *cause she look like Jay-Z*



Shoot, even with the _swag_? lol @ JayZ


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## jeanne516 (Oct 7, 2008)

I get ALOT of stares on a daily basis, but i dont know if its because of my hair (even though im just about BSL)...i usually think its because of the fact that i'm just about 6ft tall...


*ETA:* I do like the stares though...


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## Lavendar (Oct 7, 2008)

I wore my hair out this past weekend for the first time in a longgggg time.  It's now almost a few inches longer than my siggy pic.  I couldn't escape the stares....everywhere I went.  It doesn't make me angry at all, it's just I'm a little self conscious and it makes me kind of nervous.  DH and I dropped in at his relative's house and of course I got the hand all up the back of my head.  Now I do think that is disrespectful; most of his relatives just yank on it. erplexed  But since she just finished hair school and is working on getting her license, I figured curiosity got the best of her.  So I asked her when she was getting her license and could trim my hair for me.  She said oh no I like to cut and I will cut all that stuff off.  I told her well thank GOD you are at least honest.  It just made me wonder how people are thinking the same thing when they look at my hair, especially stylists.  But, I'm not about to get psycho about it.  It's just hair, right?erplexed


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## CocoBunny (Oct 7, 2008)

My daughter has hair that always gets attention, usually ooohs and ahhhhhs.  Usually comments about the color and the spring curls.  She takes it as a compliment.


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## CocoBunny (Oct 7, 2008)

sandyrabbit said:


> I don't think its about length though. I think its about thickness, health, and style. I'm not going to lie. When I see women with short bobs that are really thick and fabulous looking, I wonder if its a weave.


 

Short or long if the hair looks healthy I tend to admire/stare. 

 I wish someone would think my hair was stare worthy...


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## winnettag (Oct 7, 2008)

luckiestdestiny said:


> I get stares as its closing in on midback, and they don't seem friendly but I don't care. I don't flip it because I don't care to prove myself. Is it annoying? Sometimes, but I like my hair long so oh well. There's worse things in the world than being stared at for having long hair. The other day I went in a pizza parlor and this girl did a double take and came in. I already knew what it was about. *She looked me up and down and then left.* My boyfriend was like wtf? I just said "women" and he was like, he knew some women were competitive but he'd never seen anything like that before. He'd seen them look at me, but not enough to come in a store and stare and then leave. It was hilarious!


 

OMG!  That was just a crazy woman! 

I am looking forward to the day I get stared at for having long hair.
As it is, no one ever sees how long it is because it's in braids, under a wig or shrunken.....I don't even want to see it until I reach my hair goal.


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## lavenderchic (Oct 11, 2008)

Hi Hater!, lol just kidding. I don't let it bother me, usually they are in disbelief that a woman of color could actually achieve this. If they ask question I willingly answer. Other are dying to see a track some even go as far as to "accidentally" touch it. That just tic's me off, disrespectful so and so's.


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## Filmatic (Oct 11, 2008)

lisana said:


> I really don't think everyone who stares or inquires is being mean or disrespectful...let's always be gracious if we happen to be blessed with what many would want but may never have. I really gotta say one of the responses to a woman was hella rude and for some reason I immediately thought of that lil gal who was jacked up by that man standing in line at mickey d's...ain't saying it's right but I can only imagine how insulted I would have felt if I asked someone where they got their hair from and they said something totally uncalled for.. if I mistook it for fake but was not trying to be nasty why can't you just say "this is my real hair" and keep it moving? Now having said this, as my hair is approaching apl, I get the stares too, but unless someone is being really nasty, I just keep it moving, ain't that serious...and I would much rather be the chick being stared down because of the beatiful mane than the one being stared down cause she look like Jay-Z



On the other hand, asking someone where they got their hair from is also rude. To me it's like asking if those are my real breasts. It's none of their dang business. Now I have learned that most people are honest when I say I like their hair and they usually tell me if it's a weave. I don't have to ask, but that's just my experience. And if someone is really nice and ask me about my hair color and it's a weave or wig I'll tell them the number. 

To the original question I usually wear my hair up or hidden but when it is down I try to be careful. I'd had angry stares from people when I wore a short blondish bob, so there's not telling with my real hair.


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## sweetcashew (Oct 11, 2008)

People stare at me all the time but I never assume that it's because of  my hair. I've gotten the same stares when my hair was short so I don't jump to any conclusions. I guess it's because I wear my hair out every day I'm not conscious  of it so I don't feel special just because it's long.

But whenever I catch someone  staring really hard at my hair in particular, I usually just smile at them. It encourages them to give compliments and ask me what I do it  blah blah.


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## caribeandiva (Oct 11, 2008)

jeanne516 said:


> I get ALOT of stares on a daily basis, but i dont know if its because of my hair (even though im just about BSL)...i usually think its because of the fact that i'm just about 6ft tall...
> 
> 
> *ETA:* I do like the stares though...


 I also get stared at because I'm 6ft tall not cause of my hair (yet!). I'm usually oblivious to stares and my friends usually tell me when it happens. I love it cause it means i'm doing something right.


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## Evazhair (Oct 11, 2008)

poochie167 said:


> ...SOOO...ladies with around apl or longer lengths....how do u feel when u get those deadly stares?...are u uncomfortable?....do folks say anything to u both pos. & neg.?...if they do stare in a neg way, do u find urself doing a flip of the hair to put them in check?...idk...anything else?....please be honest & vain if u choose... u can leave ur modesty at the door in this thread lol


 
*I hate the stares.If some people knew how wierd they can really come off. I wish people would open their mouth and say something good or bad or get some slickness about themselves. The positive comments are cool as long as done with tact, but I can do without them.*

*The stares in a negative way.... I may have done a subtle flip but I have just clipped it up before. If it is down I have found myself smoothing it over my shoulder if they are standing in a position to reach out. That usually makes them go on about their business. Honestly I am the polar opposite of an attention seeker. I would prefer that nobody outside of my SO, parents and stylist said anything about my hair. I can't identify with the people who like being sweated.*



tada1 said:


> *i HATE it when people stare at my hair! I hate it hate it hate it  I'll rather get a negative comment, or a positive comment than the weird deer in the headlight stare.*
> The other day i wore my hair down, I was not impressed by how many people thought it was okay to run their fingers through it without permission!
> 
> venting complete


*ITA except I rather they would say nothing. I prefer the +/- comment over the deer in the headlight thing. If they only knew how it comes off. I have always been able to admire people's hair without being caught in that stare.  Usually for me  those who stare like that will change  into a look like I just slapped their mama if we make eye contact. *
*Other times there will be a compliment, I say thanks and KIM *



Digital Tempest said:


> *I told her: "I got it from a little place you might know called MY SCALP." She looked at me like erplexed and kept it moving. *
> 
> *She sort of gave me this sheepish grin and said: "Oh, my bad."*


* I like that. Yeah, her bad. *




T_shea said:


> I am around BSL, but this is the longest it's ever been since I was a child. I'm completely natural since 2003. *I get the most weird looks in the salon while getting my hair washed. All the other stylists look at me like DAMN, I am so glad I don't have to wrestle all that hair.* quote]
> 
> *I experienced this all my life, regardless of length. Made me very uncomfortable as a child. I have changed hairdressers or avoided certain appointment times because I hate the "all eyez on me" when getting my hair done. "Move along people..nothing to see here!"*
> 
> ...


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## glamazon386 (Oct 11, 2008)

poochie167 said:


> ...a friend of mine..who is black..has waist length relaxed hair. We were in this store looking around..and i happened to notice this black girl staring my friend doooown. Im used to her hair so its nothig...but i do notice when others stop in amazement. HOWEVER this chick was serious with her staring. She didnt even look away when my friend caught her staring. Needless to say...my friend got really mad. She usually doesnt...but after seeing her react this way it made me think about what its like to be the one being stared at. sometimes staring in admiration can be confused with staring in hate or jealousy....SOOO...ladies with around apl or longer lengths....how do u feel when u get those deadly stares?...are u uncomfortable?....do folks say anything to u both pos. & neg.?...if they do stare in a neg way, do u find urself doing a flip of the hair to put them in check?...idk...anything else?....please be honest & vain if u choose... u can leave ur modesty at the door in this thread lol



She was probably trying to figure out if it was a weave or not. I wouldn't worry about it. I'd take it as a compliment.


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## sylver2 (Oct 11, 2008)

i always get the stares..but it doesn't bother me so much anymore.  i barely pay them any mind.


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## Tee (Oct 11, 2008)

It doesn't bother me at all.  I just hate the stupid comments.

I got my first real "Hi Hater" comment.  A co-worker told someone else I can admit I have weave.  She said, "There is no way anyone can grow hair that long and that fast."  I wanted to email her the link to this forum!  BUT I was like, whatever.  (And my hair didn't grow fast.  Just comedy I tell you!)


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## tenjoy (Oct 11, 2008)

I don't get stares or comments from women.  Its usually the men who do the scalp check and complimenting.


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## DanaDane (Oct 11, 2008)

tenjoy said:


> I don't get stares or comments from women. Its usually the men who do the scalp check and complimenting.


 
OT-- gorgeous progress, ten!


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## lisana (Oct 11, 2008)

Filmatic said:


> On the other hand, asking someone where they got their hair from is also rude. To me it's like asking if those are my real breasts. It's none of their dang business. Now I have learned that most people are honest when I say I like their hair and they usually tell me if it's a weave. I don't have to ask, but that's just my experience. And if someone is really nice and ask me about my hair color and it's a weave or wig I'll tell them the number.
> 
> To the original question I usually wear my hair up or hidden but when it is down I try to be careful. I'd had angry stares from people when I wore a short blondish bob, so there's not telling with my real hair.



and two wrongs don't make a right, that's why if you are the one blessed with hair long enough to look fake then YOU should be the one to show a little graciousness...because 1. it shows you can be the better person and 2. it prevents you from being humiliated by that one person who is so hateful and jealous and is hoping for a reason to punch you out. Also, I don't think the question deserves a response that is so rude as to humiliate someone in public, simply say "it is my real hair" and keep it moving.


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## A_Christian (Oct 11, 2008)

I'm very flattered. Like a few weeks ago someone gave me a very nice compliment on the thickness of my hair and was staring hard lol, but it made me feel great to know thay I'm making progress toward my goal of hair that's not only long but also thick. The only time I feel uneasy about hair stares is if the person has a look on their face or body language that suggests they want to cut it off; Those type of looks bring out the  in me .


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## babydollhair (Oct 11, 2008)

my hair is at brastrap length and  if pp ask about it always try to tell ppl to take there vitamins and not overprocess, but i dont mind talking to ppl about it. I notice stares sometimes, but i think it the overall health of the hair too, ppl say that alot


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## caribeandiva (Oct 13, 2008)

We need more stories!!


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## Aura (Oct 14, 2008)

I get more stares and compliments from men.  They will usually ask me if it's all mine.  Most women assume it isn't mine, and don't even bother to ask. 

I really don't care and don't pay it any attention anyways.


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## srs (Oct 14, 2008)

I don't really get mad or upset. Sometimes you don't know if a person is staring or hating.It doesn't really matter. 90 % of the time people say they like my hair,or how did you grow it so long.


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## jerjer29 (Oct 14, 2008)

i couldn't imagine asking someone 'is that all yours' lol i'd just try to decide for myself..because i think asking that is just so rude.


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## Pryncez524 (Oct 14, 2008)

Wow where you're from must really make a difference. I know that no women or men from where I'm from would ever put their hands in my hair. You just dont see it. But I hardly ever get asked if I have a weave. People usually ask me what I'm mixed with or say: You're mixed right?


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## SherryLove (Oct 14, 2008)

I usually get a combination of compliments, "Girl, is that your hair?," or stares. However, I just perceive the stares as indirect compliments.   smile...


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## MD_Lady (Oct 14, 2008)

All I can say is  to the jealousy some of you ladies have experienced. My hair hovers around bob length and I absolutely LOVE seeing black women with a full head of healthy hair! As for the long haired sistas (with healthy hair of course ) keep knocking 'em dead and disproving those stereotypes about black hair!


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## MD_Lady (Oct 14, 2008)

And let me also say... what the  is up with people asking "is that all your hair" or "is that a weave"? What DIFFERENCE does it make? If you like a person's hair, compliment it. If not, keep your looks and comments to yourself. I guess I'm one of the few who thinks that's a VERY rude question!


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## Rapunzel* (Oct 14, 2008)

i get stares even with my twa erplexed how does it get so curly? is that a jerry curl i didnt know black people could have hair like that. when its straight i get oh its so thick is it all urs it wasn't even sl yet


i cant wait till im apl in may or sooner


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## TexturedTresses (Oct 15, 2008)

I feel like when people ask you, "is all that yours?", especially around people, they are trying to embarrass you.  If your answer is no... then you feel embarrassed.  That person is not usually expecting the answer to be yes.


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## longhairlover (Oct 15, 2008)

were you and your friend in harlem??? that is the capital for hate lol!!! i'm originally from there and every time i go up there some chick is staring with hate.

my hair is nowhere near my waist but yeah the hating looks are amazing, people don't think black hair can grow to amazing lengths, even other black folks.


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## flyygirlll2 (Oct 15, 2008)

Eh, I 've gotten used to it *shrugs*. Sometimes I don't pay attention unless I am out with my SO or my Mother, they let me know that so and so was breaking their neck lol. Thankfully for the most part it's not anything negative, I usually receive compliments  and the predictable "is that your hair?"


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## CurlyMoo (Oct 15, 2008)

luckiestdestiny said:


> I get stares as its closing in on midback, and they don't seem friendly but I don't care. I don't flip it because I don't care to prove myself. Is it annoying? Sometimes, but I like my hair long so oh well. There's worse things in the world than being stared at for having long hair. The other day I went in a pizza parlor and this girl did a double take and came in. I already knew what it was about. *She looked me up and down and then left.* My boyfriend was like wtf? I just said "women" and he was like, he knew some women were competitive but he'd never seen anything like that before. He'd seen them look at me, but not enough to come in a store and stare and then leave. It was hilarious!


 
Are you sure that girl wasn't about to ask you out until she saw you had a man?  I agree you shouldn't be any different because someone else is being silly or curious.


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## CurlyMoo (Oct 15, 2008)

lisana said:


> and two wrongs don't make a right, that's why if you are the one blessed with hair long enough to look fake then YOU should be the one to show a little graciousness...because 1. it shows you can be the better person and 2. it prevents you from being humiliated by that one person who is so hateful and jealous and is hoping for a reason to punch you out. Also, I don't think the question deserves a response that is so rude as to humiliate someone in public, *simply say "it is my real hair" and keep it moving.*


 
Or say nothing at all, just leave them standing there looking stupid. We don't owe these people anything!


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## CurlyMoo (Oct 15, 2008)

sandyrabbit said:


> I feel like when people ask you, "is all that yours?", especially around people, they are trying to embarrass you. If your answer is no... then you feel embarrassed. That person is not usually expecting the answer to be yes.


 
Those type of questions deserve to be ignored. Just turn around and leave or change the subject. To me it's like asking, "Did you brush your teeth today?" Some people are so uncooth that they would ask a question like that in public and loud because they don't know any better.


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## CurlyMoo (Nov 11, 2008)

bumpzzzzzzzzzzzzz


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## sexyeyes3616 (Nov 11, 2008)

Well my hair is not at a length where I get stares but when I do finally get stares, I will love it


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## clever (Nov 12, 2008)

*I naturally don't pay folks no mind but if I'm out with family/friends they always notice and tell me(mostly my mother...she'll say "your hair look like a wig,thats why folks stare so hard".

Sometimes when I'm doing my hair in the mirror I can see from the mirroe one of my roomates lookin at my hair in one of those serial killer/crazy **** glares......It scares me sometimes because the chick doesn't even bother to look away!lol.Other times I can be wrapping my hair up at night and my other roomate will bust out with "SO!!!DON'T NOBODY CARE!!".....wow...just wow...*


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## Anew (Nov 12, 2008)

Really some people stare in awe. I never assume the worse when people stare... I probably would've tried to sneak a couple glances, but most people get offended or think you're trying to figure out if the hair is real or weave and so as not to offend I'll look for a couple of seconds and keep it moving


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## Filmatic (Nov 13, 2008)

I had my hair in a braidout. If I must say so myself it was looking good, no frizz, and it had good body. I was walking out of the post office and as this girl was walking by she looks at me and say, uhh. Wtf?


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## lila_baby (Nov 13, 2008)

CurlyMoo said:


> Are you sure that girl wasn't about to ask you out until she saw you had a man?  I agree you shouldn't be any different because someone else is being silly or curious.


 

she probably was just about to ask u out just to get some hair secrets from u!


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## darkangel25 (Nov 13, 2008)

Most of the time I get stares I don't even notice, but whomever I am out with usually does and will tell me about it.  I am not bothered by it.  I am normally too busy shopping, or doing whatever to give them any thought.


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## ksk_xs (Nov 13, 2008)

Filmatic said:


> On the other hand, asking someone where they got their hair from is also rude. To me it's like asking if those are my real breasts. It's none of their dang business. Now I have learned that most people are honest when I say I like their hair and they usually tell me if it's a weave. I don't have to ask, but that's just my experience. And if someone is really nice and ask me about my hair color and it's a weave or wig I'll tell them the number.
> 
> To the original question I usually wear my hair up or hidden but when it is down I try to be careful. I'd had angry stares from people when I wore a short blondish bob, so there's not telling with my real hair.



Lol, my hair isnt long but I get the weave question when I wear rod-sets or braidouts. People don't even question for moment if it's mine they come up to me compliment me and ask me what kinda hair I bought. They at least ask me before they touch it-probably because at this point my face looks like this.  People in class give me the weave question because of how short I cut my hair last year and theyre not used to seeing ppl grow hair-cuz most ppl don't retain their growth for a year.


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## ckn (Nov 13, 2008)

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!  I like how you took the high road and 'swang' that hair in her face the next day!!!  I can only imagine how tight her face was!




explosiva9 said:


> I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem. Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern. But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair. I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair. she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious! My hair was BSL at that point. Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!


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## Fine 4s (Nov 13, 2008)

I got some good stares a couple of weeks ago when I had an excellent twist-out that had SWANG because it was twisted on Thu. and released on Frid...so fresh and so clean-clean 

I felt really good, but surprisingly uncomfortable b/c I become overly concerned about what they really thought about me, my hair and the overall 'look.'

A group of workers in the store, 2 women and 1 man were staring for quite a bit as the girl was saying how much she loved my boots. So [and u said leave the modesty out] as I walked down the isle on my way to the ladies room, I did my own model runway walk...

For the first time I felt like I was That girl


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## Fine 4s (Nov 13, 2008)

MD_Lady said:


> And let me also say... what the  is up with people asking "is that all your hair" or "is that a weave"? What DIFFERENCE does it make? If you like a person's hair, compliment it. If not, keep your looks and comments to yourself. I guess I'm one of the few who thinks that's a VERY rude question!


 
You know, I'm not sure if it's rude, maybe uncouth...one of those really nosy questions that perhaps, for some people, should NOT be asked. If I did have a weave, I'd be embarrassed but if I did not have a weave, I'd be elated and fling it all over the place!

However, I could see why this question might be relevant to some. If it is a weave, I might give up on trying to achieve what this person has. If it is not, then the follow-up question would be 'how can I get that?' It depends on the intention of the person.


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## Fine 4s (Nov 13, 2008)

lisana said:


> and two wrongs don't make a right, that's why if you are the one blessed with hair long enough to look fake then YOU should be the one to show a little graciousness...because 1. it shows you can be the better person and 2. it prevents you from being humiliated by that one person who is so hateful and jealous and is hoping for a reason to punch you out. Also, I don't think the question deserves a response that is so rude as to humiliate someone in public, simply say "it is my real hair" and keep it moving.


 
See, I like your thinking...

Based on the different responses here, the one being looked/stared at is in control of how they chose to judge the interaction. If you chose to look at it negatively then that is how you will respond and vice versa.  The only boundary I see here is if the person physically invades your space. 

Other than that, everything else [emotions, reactions etc] are created by you the sweatee


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## Fine 4s (Nov 13, 2008)

lisana said:


> I really don't think everyone who stares or inquires is being mean or disrespectful...let's always be gracious if we happen to be blessed with what many would want but may never have. I really gotta say one of the responses to a woman was hella rude and for some reason I immediately thought of that lil gal who was jacked up by that man standing in line at mickey d's...ain't saying it's right but I can only imagine how insulted I would have felt if I asked someone where they got their hair from and they said something totally uncalled for.. *if I mistook it for fake but was not trying to be nasty why can't you just say "this is my real hair" and keep it moving?* Now having said this, as my hair is approaching apl, I get the stares too, but unless someone is being really nasty, I just keep it moving, ain't that serious...and I would much rather be the chick being stared down because of the beatiful mane than the one being stared down cause she look like Jay-Z


 
I hear you...unintended consequences...

Some people may have a much different experience and do not welcome these types of questions (as you can see by the various responses here). Just as you don't understand why they would respond rudely, they may not understand the rude question!  Take the neutral position or ask a less invasive question that might lead to the 'real' question or don't ask at all. 

Not knowing the consequences of your action as innocent as the intention may be is not a reason to be sheltered from harsh reactions by others. I've gotten caught out there so many times by saying something that was taken way out of context. I had to learn to THINK way beyond my own reality before I do/or say things now (still working on it). 

Two words come to mind...workplace censorship.


One has to be a lil' more tactful when it comes to asking personal questions such has hair, contacts, breast, penis enlargement etc. 

IMHO though, bottom line, as you stated it's not that serious and making it serious may intimate a latent narcissistic view. 
WTF?!! Who said that?! She crayyyyzay...


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## Amerie123 (Nov 13, 2008)

When I got my hair cut to bob length (before I went to bootcamp), everyone asked was that a weave because of it's thickness, and i proudly said no. I like that stuff, and although I'm not MBL or anything near it yet, my hair is always full-looking. 
And when my hair gets that long, I will love ALL my stares, the "is-it-a-weave" questions, the compliments. I will love it all, cuz everyone know that a black girl with some length isn't a bad thing at all. and like Sandy said, i will run my fingers through it and let them know its all real. lol. but that's just me. I take pride in the way I look, definitely not to be confused with conceited.


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## Liberianmami26 (Nov 13, 2008)

wow these stories have entertained me the past two hours ive been pretending to work lol but the whole gum story thats grimy and best believe my hair will be up when i reach my goal length and ill wear it down around family only and if i just wanted to be a b cuz i knew some people where haters ill were two pigtails so there wont be a need for a dumb weave check and thats all i got to say to that lol


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## Raspberry (Nov 28, 2008)

MD_Lady said:


> All I can say is  to the jealousy some of you ladies have experienced. My hair hovers around bob length and *I absolutely LOVE seeing black women with a full head of healthy hair!* As for the long haired sistas (with healthy hair of course ) keep knocking 'em dead and disproving those stereotypes about black hair!



Girl me too, I love to see black women lookin good.. I get really proud seein sistas represetin well.


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## Raspberry (Nov 28, 2008)

ElleDoll said:


> *
> 
> Sometimes when I'm doing my hair in the mirror I can see from the mirroe one of my roomates lookin at my hair in one of those serial killer/crazy **** glares......It scares me sometimes because the chick doesn't even bother to look away!lol.Other times I can be wrapping my hair up at night and my other roomate will bust out with "SO!!!DON'T NOBODY CARE!!".....wow...just wow...*






Some people need a Katt Williams type self-esteem pill stat!


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## mahogany_horizons (Nov 28, 2008)

babyleaf said:


> I think it is hilarious! Funny thing is, most people that look at my hair are only looking to find the tracks....so that is why I find it sooo amusing.



YOU HIT IT RIGHT ON THE HEAD, WHILE I DON'T FIND IT HILARIOUS, I find them always staring to look for the tracks.  I've only worn a weave once (nothing against weaves at all, used to phony pony occasionally but my hubby does not like phony ponies so no longer wear any fake hair)  NONETHELESS IT ALWAYS irks me when they do this, as though a black woman can't have long  relaxed hair, and it "gotsta be a weave"..!


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## clever (Nov 28, 2008)

Raspberry said:


> Some people need a Katt Williams type self-esteem pill stat!


GIRL!!!Who you telling


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## KrystalClear (Nov 6, 2009)

My hair isn't that long YET and people say interesting things. I get stares. But most the time people ask me, "how did you get your hair like that." And tell me that my hair is pretty. Especially white ladies. And at the club one time the guy that worked there (I know him) said me and my sister had hair pieces when I had it up in my puff. Now that I'm natural people ALWAYS assume I'm mixed.... my family heritage is black, bajan, native american -- butttt my mom and dad are black. I like the stares, because when I was relaxed I didn't get very many compliments or attention for my hair, and my hair is something I have always wanted to be really long but neverrrr had. Also, people say I have "good hair. (I HATE THAT TERM BY THE WAY) But one time, somebody told me my hair was nappy (when i got in an argument with this older gentleman) ... so it's all about the person "viewing". 

When I see somebody with pretty hair, long, short, straight, natural -- I ALWAYS say, "Dang she/he got some pretty hair!" Or I say ,"AWWW her/his hair is SO pretty!" I'm happy for them and say in my head, I cant wait!


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## Zawaj (Nov 6, 2009)

As a child I got bullied because of my hair. I routinely got the she think she cute thing. It was strange to me because in my family my hair was on the shorter side. In my 20s when my hair was a thick shoulder length bob I would get asked if it was real. I never understood that either. Now I cover my hair for religious reasons so I don't worry about that anymore .


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## Kerryann (Nov 6, 2009)

lol i get stares and people looking hard to see a track or 2  if they dont see it they whisper loud enough oh she know thats a weave but i shake it and keep it moving who cares


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## Coco*Colada (Nov 6, 2009)

I'm used to the stares my whole life but I can't stand for people to walk up behind me in the grocery store( or pretend they have to get something from the same aisle)  and get sooo close I can feel them breathing , just so they can check for tracks or whatever they are looking for. It's hilarious and I stand there longer just to let them know it's mine they can check all they want lol!! My husband thinks its crazy. It  shocks me because all of the women in my family have long hair and I'm used to it. I could care less if a woman has hair to her ankles it doesn't surprise me and I'm not going to take time out of my day to hover nearby and see if its her hair .


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## 2grlsandme (Nov 6, 2009)

I dont post that often but for this I had to!!  Yesterday my10 yo DD came home from school and told me that she and her lil AA friend were in the bathroom at school  when a lil WG comes into the bathroom and just stares.  Apparently the two were talking hair (Cuz i just blunt cut my DD MBL hair to BSL)  And her friend said "I cant believe you cut your hair"  Mind you she is MBL .  Well the lil WG proceeded to TELL them thats not your real hair!!  If you dont stop playing with it its gonna fall off.  Well my dd (big mouth she is) told her "what makes you think that?"  She said her mom told her Black peoples hair cant grow long.  I told her she and her mom were just ignorant.  LOL


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## Diva_Esq (Nov 6, 2009)

I get it all the time now at between SL and APL, so I can only imagine what it'll be like at BSL, WL and all natural.  

One day, my MIL overheard some women talking about me at my son's football practice.  They were saying, "Dang, her weave is TIGHT!  I gotta ask her who put that in!"  I wish they would've.  With a straight face, I would've said "God." SMH!


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## Diva_Esq (Nov 6, 2009)

Zawaj said:


> *As a child I got bullied because of my hair. I routinely got the she think she cute thing.* It was strange to me because in my family my hair was on the shorter side. In my 20s when my hair was a thick shoulder length bob I would get asked if it was real. I never understood that either. Now I cover my hair for religious reasons so I don't worry about that anymore .


 
 Me too!


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## mahogany_horizons (Nov 6, 2009)

BostonMaria said:


> I'm usually clueless when people are staring at me - men or women. My daughter has long hair and I do notice when people give her dirty looks, which as a mom I don't appreciate. You know how catty teens are.
> 
> When I have my hair curly I sometimes will get that "is that a wig" look.  I fluff it up or pull it to let them know, yes this is mine   If I blow dry my hair and its freshly washed I sometimes get a "is that a weave" look. If its been a few days and it looks dry, eh I won't get that look. Again, I will twirl my hair or pull it to let them know its not a weave..
> 
> Why go through all that hassle? Because just this year alone I had a few people pull my hair!  Yes I'm not lying!  And had a few co-workers ask me if I was wearing a weave.



Boston Maria, I always thought your hair was gorgeous!  How rude of people to pull your hair!  I hate when people put their hands in my hair.  I also dislike them giving your daughter dirty looks.


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## JMH1908 (Nov 6, 2009)

Before my BC in 2007, I was sporting my BSL hair in a big bun on the top of my head because it was during the summer and it was hot..I was at work in the bathroom fixing it because it decided to fall down because my hair was so heavy  This white woman walks in the bathroom and stops in her tracks to ask me if all that hair was mine, I said yep! So since I had to take it out anyway, she sat there and watched me in amazement..unbelievable! I wanted to ask her didn't you have to go to the bathroom?


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## LatterGlory (Nov 6, 2009)

*___________________*

______________


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## JMH1908 (Nov 6, 2009)

Mrs BHF said:


> I am a " mind my own business" kind of person so I don't really notice stares save the occasional man turning his head.
> 
> My DH is usually my indicator that another man is staring he gets all "hands on" as if to say "eat your heart out fellas, she's mine".
> 
> I could care less if someone stares.


 
I know that's right..


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## LatterGlory (Nov 6, 2009)

___________________


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## JMH1908 (Nov 6, 2009)

Yes, all the time


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## Bene (Nov 6, 2009)

My hair is bunned whenever I'm outside of my home, so no one stares. In the past, I've heard women make comments about my hair "Oh, she's just showing off", or something along the lines that I'm trying to make them feel bad about their own hair, if I take my hair down to rearrange my bun. I don't really appreciate people making those assumptions about my intents, and I don't want some crazy woman attacking me and cutting my hair off to "put me in my place", so I keep it up where it's safe.


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## JMH1908 (Nov 6, 2009)

I hear ya Bene..these people out here are crazy nowadays..lol. 

And its not so much of the stares that bothered me, its the ignorance behind it..


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## BlackMasterPiece (Nov 6, 2009)

Yep! And I proceed to swing it, scratch the middle of my head, swing it some more and give a nice bright smile to my "admirers" alot of times strangers will walk up to me and ask me tips which is fun.

I love it when I notice it, when I dont notice it, my friends will be like damn didn't you see how that man nearly broke his neck!??! Or didn't you see that girl grillin you down and I'll be like mmmmnah I was talking to you lol


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## jamaraa (Nov 6, 2009)

......................................


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## vainღ♥♡jane (Nov 6, 2009)

when i had long hair i never noticed any stares. i only was aware someone was curious about when they came and asked questions (which i would prefer to folks just standing there gawking... creepy!)​


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## Bella_Atl (Nov 6, 2009)

poochie167 said:


> lolol....see when its real u have nothing to worry about. Thats a great feeling to have. But when i have my clip on tracks in blended with my SL hair...and someone is staring me down looking for a track.....i find myself praying to the lawd jezzzuss dont let the wind blow....please wind dont blow lol


 
ROTFLMAO!!


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## caribeandiva (Feb 4, 2010)

CurlyMoo said:


> Are you sure that girl wasn't about to ask you out until she saw you had a man?  ...


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## caribeandiva (Feb 4, 2010)

Diva_Esq said:


> ... I gotta ask her who put that in!"  I wish they would've.  With a straight face, I would've said "God." SMH!


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## empressri (Feb 5, 2010)

Last December when my hair was straight the SO and I went to Sally's on a run for me, what's new, and we thought the girl at the counter was going to KILL herself she was hanging on so hard, breaking her neck to look at my hair as we were coming in, along with 2 of her other coworkers. Don't know if they realized but we could HEAR AND SEE them asking each other, "Is that her hair??". I was surprised they didn't follow me around the store humping my leg they were looking so hard. It was funnnnnnny!


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## Whimsy (Feb 5, 2010)

I don't mind the stares much, and I don't mind the questions that usually follow it.  I think people are usually just genuinely curious, first if it's real, and once they see that it is, they're curious how to get their hair long as well.  I'm glad to help.

What I don't like, and do mind, are the people who talk loudly about my hair right there next to me, whether they're saying something positive or negative, it makes me feel like I need to turn, give them attention and set them straight...

What I HATE ABSOLUTELY are those people who come at you with their hand raised to touch your hair and feel for tracks!!!  uh uh.  I don't know where that hand has been!!??


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## supermodelsonya (Feb 5, 2010)

Gee maybe I should stop admiring hair because I am one of those people that may stare...but only in admiration. Because my next thought is, "I wonder if they are on the boards?"

I LOVE looking at hair. If I see a woman with long hair that's all hers, I get super excited.


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## **SaSSy** (Feb 5, 2010)

The attention doesn't get to me. I remember when I was stuck in SL hell and I would stare at BW with BSL or longer hair in amazement. I don't think my hair is all that long, but I get those same looks from mostly women, and men just gloat at the amazement. This B at my job always stares at my braid-outs, or when I wear my hair straight, she knows my hair is real because you can see my scalp when I have my part, and I'm always running my fingers through it. One day I saw her from my computer screen peek over to see how long it got. So I have my own little hair fan/stalker.


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## Almaz (Feb 5, 2010)

I have had long hair for most of my life and I never had problems back home and but here in the states some people are nice others are not I just KIM


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## LadyPaniolo (Feb 5, 2010)

Yeah, well, I am used to folks hating on me for a multitude of reasons anyway. I get mean-mugged because "she think she cute" "Why she talk white?"  "WTF she doing with that Chinese man"  I even had a chickenhead go ballistic and start screaming at me and DH while we were calmly eating our food at Burger King one time. Homegirl was literally popping veins in her face screaming at me... and I hadn't even looked in her direction. SMDH. I didn't realize till the whole spot got quiet that she was yelling at ME! 

So, yeah, I fully expect a whole bunch of ignorance about my hair as well. I mean, I got obnoxious treatment when my hair was raggedy, so I know it will happen when my hair is fly. If I'm out and about without my DH, I'll keep it up. Somehow I think people will be more bold and aggressive about it if I am alone.


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## *CherryPie* (Feb 5, 2010)

I just smile at them. LOL!!!!


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## BlkOnyx488 (Feb 5, 2010)

awww I would have stared at your bush


Je Ne Sais Quoi said:


> When I was recently APL I didn't get stares, probably because my hair was a bush


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## Liege4421 (Feb 5, 2010)

I don't get any looks from black women...but I do get amazed responses from WHITE women...I guess they don't think BW can grow long hair???  IDK...the latest time it happened was in Paris, and the woman kept staring at my hair.  When I told her (more than once) that it was MY hair...she responded "are you sure??"  

I was like, would you like to see the hair growing from my scalp???


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## empressri (Feb 5, 2010)

LadyPaniolo said:


> Yeah, well, I am used to folks hating on me for a multitude of reasons anyway. I get mean-mugged because "she think she cute" "Why she talk white?"  "WTF she doing with that Chinese man"  I even had a chickenhead go ballistic and start screaming at me and DH while we were calmly eating our food at Burger King one time. Homegirl was literally popping veins in her face screaming at me... and I hadn't even looked in her direction. SMDH. I didn't realize till the whole spot got quiet that she was yelling at ME!
> 
> So, yeah, I fully expect a whole bunch of ignorance about my hair as well. I mean, I got obnoxious treatment when my hair was raggedy, so I know it will happen when my hair is fly. If I'm out and about without my DH, I'll keep it up. Somehow I think people will be more bold and aggressive about it if I am alone.



and they didn't call the popo on that h*e??? GTFOOHWTBS!!!!!!!


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## djanae (Feb 5, 2010)

TexturedTresses said:


> I don't think its about length though.  I think its about thickness, health, and style.  I'm not going to lie.  When I see women with short bobs that are really thick and fabulous looking, I wonder if its a weave.




I agree, although I do think longer lengths would be added grounds for more staring and erplexed faces of confusion lol 

Just this past Christmas we were at a family gathering/dinner and one of my aunts walked over to me and my sister (we were sitting next to each other) - and DUG her hands up in our hair (I got the left hand, my sis got the right hand). I was sooo confused - then I was like  "she weave checked us?!" I honestly didn't know whether to or  or  

the crazy part is we were both around shoulder length at the time, but she wanted to know if the thickness was "ours."

back to the initial question - I really am not upset by stares but its the touching I would be weary about. 

As my hair gets longer though, I will DEF be more aware of this. My aunt caught me completely off guard (knowing her over the years, I would have never thought she would be that bold). But the next person is getting the strong arm in defense.


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## caribeandiva (Feb 5, 2010)

LadyPaniolo said:


> ... I even had a chickenhead go ballistic and start screaming at me and DH while we were calmly eating our food at Burger King one time. Homegirl was literally popping veins in her face screaming at me... and I hadn't even looked in her direction. SMDH. I didn't realize till the whole spot got quiet that she was yelling at ME!..


Why was she screaming at you?


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## LadyPaniolo (Feb 5, 2010)

empressri said:


> and they didn't call the popo on that h*e??? GTFOOHWTBS!!!!!!!




Well, after she did her little tantrum, she flounced out the door with thug BF following behind, giggling at her outburst. He thought it was funny.  I think the staff didn't want to intervene because for one thing they are not getting paid like that, and for another she looked terrifying hollering like a nutcase. 

The thing is, DH and I were completely oblivious, having our lunch and chatting happily together. The sound of a chickenhead being loud isn't something I usually feel compelled to investigate, you know. It's like a lap dog barking or a small child whining... it's what they do. *shrug*

What alerted me to the situation was the dining area was full of white contractors having lunch, and they all got silent and shook looking. So that led me to look and see what was freaking THEM out. By the time I realized she had been screaming at me, she was on her way out the door. 

Had it been in a different part of town, they may have called the police on her.

ETA: I think she was screaming at me for having the audacity to date an Asian guy. Since I didn't listen to her drama, I didn't hear what she had to say. But she definitely wanted to start a fight of some sort. My hair wasn't long at that point, maybe a bit past shoulder and very thick. I think her problem was with my DH (then BF).


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## complexsimplicity (Feb 5, 2010)

^^^IMO, I don't think that she was mad that you were dating an Asian man. I think she was jealous of you bc she knew she could never pull an Asian. Obviously this chick is way to ghettofied to even have one looking her way. That's why she was w/ a thug looking dude.​


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## NikStarrr (Feb 5, 2010)

I don't mind it at all. lol


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## crr0121 (Feb 5, 2010)

Digital Tempest said:


> I had that happen to me once when I was out to lunch with a friend, but it was with my nappy bun. A lady wanted to know where I bought it because she wanted one. I told her: *"I got it from a little place you might know called MY SCALP."* She looked at me like erplexed and kept it moving.
> 
> 
> 
> She sort of gave me this sheepish grin and said: "Oh, my bad." I just turned away with a small shake of my head after that because I'd said my piece and left it at that.



LOL!!!! I LOVE THIS! I know she wasn't expectin that. Shuts ppl up real quick!

When my hair was long (MBL in H.S.) girls stared and I didn't mind it at all. I just hated annoying COMMENTS like "is that you REAL hair?" and once I say yeah they say "ooh, you must have indian in you" or "you got that barbie doll hair" or when they state the obvious "ooh your hair is LONG." that wasn't exactly a compliment, it was a fact so "um thank you???"erplexed But the stares never bothered me. I actually kinda miss them now but I know they'll be back in a few months when I'm back to APL, my hair grows fast.

ETA: Oh and I loved when I went to get my hair done for special occasions and I took out my ponytail holder and all eyes were on me waiting to see me take tracks out or somethin,lol. The whole salon would "watch" me get my hair done from wash to set to style in dibelief. I don't know why it's so hard to believe black women can grow long hair...


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## naturalepiphany (Feb 5, 2010)

explosiva9 said:


> I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem.  Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern.  But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair.  I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair.  she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious!  My hair was BSL at that point.  Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!



This is one of my biggest fears and why I won't wear my hair out much. I get the stares especially since my hair is so thick. I could tell they were looking at me wondering what kind of hair I used to achieve my style. My SO has even told me his own sister and her friend wondered what kind of hair I was using. My last twist out looked like a straight up curly weave that the girls buy from the BSS and not too long ago I got a weave check from my own cousin. She pulled one of the hairs from my  afro puff which really hurt. I had to tell her, "That is my hair you know?". She responded, "Its just so much hair and the strands are so fine." All she had to do was ask.  One of the incidents that makes me happy to be able to get my puff into a bun along with the biggest fear issue.


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## Whimsy (Feb 5, 2010)

BlkOnyx488 said:


> awww I would have stared at your bush



I'm really glad i know the context of that statement cuz....it sounds nasty! lmao


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## Janet' (Feb 24, 2010)

empressri said:


> and they didn't call the popo on that h*e??? GTFOOHWTBS!!!!!!!



C'MON SON!!!!!


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## I Am So Blessed (Feb 24, 2010)

lol i especialy love these kinds of threads becuase im in the long haired category and i love it!! lol

but being WL i only experianced this one time, another AA girl was stearing at my hair, and then she finally said, "your curls are so nice how did you do that"  so we started talking about hair, she was about BSL i was so happy there was another AA girl with long hair that i could talk to in person.


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## Aviah (Feb 24, 2010)

Well, my hair isn't that long and people would ask if braidouts were my hair when I was transistioning. My hair shrinks pretty short so people don't ask often. In fact when I do flat Iron it out, people still don't realy ask for some reason. I guess its not that long yet. Or when they see my hair they assume its because I'm not "all black". So if I attempt to tell how to grow it, I usually am met with the "but your hair is different, I can't do that with mine"


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## beans4reezy (Feb 24, 2010)

explosiva9 said:


> I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem. Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern. But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair. I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair. she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious! My hair was BSL at that point. Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!


 
NO WAY!! But good for you for getting the BEST of her! She knew what she was doing!


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## SherylsTresses (Feb 24, 2010)

I just continue doing what I'm doing.


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## BostonMaria (Feb 24, 2010)

mahogany_horizons said:


> Boston Maria, I always thought your hair was gorgeous!  How rude of people to pull your hair!  I hate when people put their hands in my hair.  I also dislike them giving your daughter dirty looks.



with me it doesn't happen as often because my co-workers have been warned that my hair is off limits LOL as far as my DD's, they're so used to having long hair they don't understand what's the big deal or fuss all about. I'm the baldest in my house and I'm MBL hahaha my stepdaughter now wants to cut her hair SL (her hair pics are in my LHCF album) because of the attention she gets from school. I'm hoping she'll change her mind before I make the appt with the hairdresser. Her white friends keep pulling her curls. I keep telling her she's not allowed to have people touch her hair.


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## equestrian (Feb 24, 2010)

I used to say this behavior was based off of pure ignorance but the tables have turned a bit since I started going to a new salon. _Every _ time I go there I see about 8 people getting weaves done. [

So I myself occasionally catch myself thinking " hmm fake or real fake or real" when passing long haired girls.


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## mscocoface (Feb 24, 2010)

All I know is that I am looking forward to it.  Yes I said it.  I probably won't see it unless I straighten my hair or by some gigantic feat or miracle get it to show how long it is while it is natural.  

But as long as shrinkage is my bff the best I can hope for is WOW you have a LOT of hair it is HUGE versus hearing it is very long.

Oh well.


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## dachsies_rule! (Feb 24, 2010)

crr0121 said:


> LOL!!!! I LOVE THIS! I know she wasn't expectin that. Shuts ppl up real quick!
> 
> When my hair was long (MBL in H.S.) girls stared and I didn't mind it at all. I just hated annoying COMMENTS like "is that you REAL hair?" and once I say yeah they say "ooh, you must have indian in you" or "you got that barbie doll hair" or when they state the obvious "ooh your hair is LONG." that wasn't exactly a compliment, it was a fact so "um thank you???"erplexed But the stares never bothered me. I actually kinda miss them now but I know they'll be back in a few months when I'm back to APL, my hair grows fast.
> 
> *ETA: Oh and I loved when I went to get my hair done for special occasions and I took out my ponytail holder and all eyes were on me waiting to see me take tracks out or somethin,lol. The whole salon would "watch" me get my hair done from wash to set to style in dibelief. I don't know why it's so hard to believe black women can grow long hair...*


 
*That happens to me everytime i go to the shop to get my relaxer. The women are staring just waiting for my "tracks" to get taken out. Then their faces get all twisted when my stylist just starts applying relaxer to my hair and they realize it's all mine. I want to say "yeah, thats right, we can grow hair if you take care of it" *


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## I Am So Blessed (Feb 24, 2010)

the stears give me mixed feelings. its nice that somebody admires my hair and all, but on the other hand, why do i get the stears, becuase im black. 

so  its 50/50 for me. half good half not so good.


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## I Am So Blessed (Feb 24, 2010)

why it gotta be lke that, huh. why dont more black females know about hair care? ok im getting sad over here. bye


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## My Friend (Jan 4, 2012)

Interesting..............................


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## Afro Puff (Jan 4, 2012)

I kept my hair bunned 100% of the time over the past 1.5 years and people still notice the thickness and supposed length of my hair. 

The last inquiry I got was 2 days ago. I boarded a bus to visit my mom and as soon as I sat down a young woman asked me, "How long is your hair?" (kinda bold to me). I pointed to the location on my belly and she said "oh wow". We talked a little bit about hair and then I referred her to LHCF, which she immediately looked up on her phone.

I moreso get inquiries and compliments than stares. Perhaps if I was a straightened natural I'd get more stares than compliments. That'll be my case study for the end of 2012. Should be interesting!


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## CurlyMoo (Aug 20, 2012)

I have been keeping my hair up. When I took it down for the ladies at work they stared and complimented me. A few had a shocked look on their faces, I didn't understand that because one with the shocked look asked me to wear it down one day.


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## SmilingElephant (Aug 20, 2012)

CurlyMoo said:


> I have been keeping my hair up. When I took it down for the ladies at work they stared and complimented me. A few had a shocked look on their faces, I didn't understand that because one with the shocked look asked me to wear it down one day.



CurlyMoo i know your hair is the bomb but...i am  at that crab in your siggy!!!


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## CurlyMoo (Aug 20, 2012)

SmilingElephant said:


> @CurlyMoo i know your hair is the bomb but...i am  at that crab in your siggy!!!










Yeah I know he's too cute.  He's like fluck it, don't need this! Determined little creature.


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## lovebug10 (Aug 21, 2012)

I have SL hair but its so THICK.

Honestly i feed off of the attention so I just flip my tresses and keep it moving. If someone is hating then it must mean that I'm doing something right.


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## DirectorChic (Aug 21, 2012)

poochie167 said:


> ...a friend of mine..who is black..has waist length relaxed hair. We were in this store looking around..and i happened to notice this black girl staring my friend doooown. Im used to her hair so its nothig...but i do notice when others stop in amazement. HOWEVER this chick was serious with her staring. She didnt even look away when my friend caught her staring. Needless to say...my friend got really mad. She usually doesnt...but after seeing her react this way it made me think about what its like to be the one being stared at. sometimes staring in admiration can be confused with staring in hate or jealousy....SOOO...ladies with around apl or longer lengths....how do u feel when u get those deadly stares?...are u uncomfortable?....do folks say anything to u both pos. & neg.?...if they do stare in a neg way, do u find urself doing a flip of the hair to put them in check?...idk...anything else?....please be honest & vain if u choose... u can leave ur modesty at the door in this thread lol



It sounds like maybe she thought it could have been a weave, you know how we are, but then realized that it wasn't... there _could have_ been a drop of envy there, upon realization that it was _hers_ and she was black.


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## DirectorChic (Aug 21, 2012)

TexturedTresses said:


> I don't think its about length though.  I think its about thickness, health, and style.  I'm not going to lie.  When I see women with short bobs that are really thick and fabulous looking, I wonder if its a weave.



Good Point. There are those short cut weaves when the person's hair is actually longer.


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## lana (Aug 21, 2012)

I'll be honest. I get stares.  Lots of them. (lol) It's gotten to the point that I barely notice now.  Just the other day I was leaving the store and walking to the car, my dh was inside and (I love his eyes, but they were wide open - I teased him because he was looking around suspiciously) so when I got in the car, I noticed two women passing me and they turned to look.  He said, "Babe they were staring at you so long I got mad." 
I barely noticed, although one woman craned her neck to look and neither of them smiled.  

So yes, I get stares, even more so when I wear my hair down, put on a sundress and walk with my DH.  I guess I appreciate the stares more now because I used to have short, broken, dyed ear length relaxed hair....now I have super thick, lovely black, past BSL hair that is healthy, shaky and beautiful (because of LHCF and you ladies!)


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## lana (Aug 21, 2012)

Oh, one more, just last week a lady stared at me up and down, but she was smiling. I smiled back (included an eyebrow raise and kept moving) even though I was thinking "nice smile, but dang you stared at me harder than a man". 

But she politely asked me about my hair and I gave her the info on what I do to it. She really appreciated it. Usually I never give hair advice or discuss hair with anyone. People sometimes just want to gawk and other times they just don't really care enough to try - one of my acquaintances just told me that she has been watching my hair grow and get longer for years and she just finally _had to ask me_, "What do you do to it?" (lol) I told her. 

Another friend just told me that she cut her hair because she couldn't handle all of the length _like I can_. I just blinked and nodded.

I don't mind the stares, don't mind the weave checks, don't mind the track checks and dodge the ponytail grabs (yes, there have been a few).  It all means that I reached my goal and for the first time in my life I have the hair of my dreams (and DH's...sneaky laugh).


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## TheMenAllPause (Aug 21, 2012)

I love those "is that a weave??" stares...then its followed by the look of fascination. But I am proud of all my hard work and dedication so I treat those stares as compliments.


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## CurlsBazillion (Aug 21, 2012)

Long hair problems sound much better than short hair problems.  When did the stares start for yall?  BSL?  WL?


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## lesedi (Aug 21, 2012)

CurlsBazillion said:


> *Long hair problems sound much better than short hair problems.*  When did the stares start for yall?  BSL?  WL?




I actually loved the stares I got with my TWA. I felt regal and powerful


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## BadMamaJama (Aug 21, 2012)

I don't know how it feels, but next year, this time, I'm going to come back and tell you guys!


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## nerdography (Aug 21, 2012)

I remember in elementary school for Halloween, I went as Madame CJ Walker. And my mom did my hair like hers and we put together a little outfit. And the teacher asked me in front of the class if I was wearing a wig. I told her no and every started at me. I think I was WL.

I high school I had a boy in my English class grab my ponytail and yank it really hard because he thought it was a phony pony. I was APL then.

I was in college, I want to say it was 2003. I decided to wear my hair down that day and as I walked by two women said, "She think she looks cute with that weave." I was APL then too.

Now, I'm WL again. And people at work are usually confused when I wear my hair down. They ask me what I did to my hair. And I tell them that I just flat ironed it, nothing fancy. But, they always give me a side eye, and these are yt women.


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## ilong (Aug 21, 2012)

CurlyMoo your siggy is  hilarious and  I'm gonna use it:

*"Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything."*

My score:   3 out of 4 - not saying which one I'm missin'


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## NJoy (Aug 21, 2012)

I don't wear my hair out much at all and am really self-conscious when I do. But as far as stares, I've been fly all my life so, I'm used to crazy looks and sometimes provoke the looker. (yeah, I said it) It's just too funny to me. 

But really, I almost forget it's the hair they're staring at and go into my "is-there-a-problem" counter stare down...hard. Either they'll look away embarrassed (which results in my "yeah, that's-what-I-thought smirk") or they'll start with the compliments (in which case, I relax and offer genuine thanks).

I'm wearing a hl wig now, trying to get used to being out with my hair out. In no way am I trying to front like it's all me but... I keep a pair of shades on because, I sees ya lookin.



Oh! Let me add, I wore my hair out in TN about a month ago and I kept fidget'g with it. Putting it into a ponytail, and then bun, and then shaking it loose to make a ponytail again. I did notice that stares provoked my takedowns. Yeah, I earned it. What?!

I told y'all early on that I'd be stank.   You. Can't. Tell.  Me.  NOTHIN'!!! 

(Somebody pray my strength in the Lord.  I need Jesus. )


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## SmilingElephant (Aug 21, 2012)

NJoy said:
			
		

> I don't wear my hair out much at all and am really self-conscious when I do. But as far as stares, I've been fly all my life so, I'm used to crazy looks and sometimes provoke the looker. (yeah, I said it) It's just too funny to me.
> 
> But really, I almost forget it's the hair they're staring at and go into my "is-there-a-problem" counter stare down...hard. Either they'll look away embarrassed (which results in my "yeah, that's-what-I-thought smirk") or they'll start with the compliments (in which case, I relax and offer genuine thanks).
> 
> ...



AAAAGGGGHHHHhahahaha...!

I love it! This post made me smile.

Now that my hair is bigger when curly...people are back to staring. Im like NJoy...i cannot be without shades bc i hate ppl staring at me...even as a child...there's never been a positive feeling that came with ppl staring at me.

I have kinda outgrown it tho...wait til i flat iron it later this year...swangin it all nonchalantly. Im still learning to interpret staring as "people really like what they are seeing" but with some ppl....i don't WANT em to like it! Just go away! Lol!!

Sent from my N860 using LHCF


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## DirectorChic (Aug 21, 2012)

complexsimplicity said:


> ^^^IMO, I don't think that she was mad that you were dating an Asian man. I think she was jealous of you bc she knew she could never pull an Asian. Obviously this chick is way to ghettofied to even have one looking her way. That's why she was w/ a thug looking dude.​





 I have to second that.  *Some* chickens are very stuck in their own world they don't know how to get out... and get really mad at those who can mingle.

But acting out ones chickeness further exasperates the circumstances because no man  from another background goes for a chicken. (_One in his right mind.)_

She may have been a militant chicken.


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## Boujoichic (Aug 22, 2012)

I haven't noticed stares but I am oblivious to things like that most of the time. I wouldn't mind the stares as long as the people aren't rude. Last time I straightened to do a length check and get a trim I was Bsl I did have a coworker all up in my head checking me for wefts. I wasn't offended because we are cool and she was fascinated by shrinkage my hair shrinks to just touching Sl Curly. Most of the time I think people just assume I have a weave honestly. 

I just found out recently that my mother never complimented me on my progress because she thought my hair was a weave lol. I went to see her after getting it straightened and my hair was starting to revert. I made a comment about my hair getting puffy from the humidity she looks at my head hard and says "Thats your hair? I thought it was a weave" I was like wow my own mother lol.
I can't wait to straighten again in October I'm hoping I made my next goal of Mbl.


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## napbella (Aug 22, 2012)

NJoy said:


> I don't wear my hair out much at all and am really self-conscious when I do. But as far as stares, I've been fly all my life so, I'm used to crazy looks and sometimes provoke the looker. (yeah, I said it) It's just too funny to me.
> 
> But really, I almost forget it's the hair they're staring at and go into my "is-there-a-problem" counter stare down...hard. Either they'll look away embarrassed (which results in my "yeah, that's-what-I-thought smirk") or they'll start with the compliments (in which case, I relax and offer genuine thanks).
> 
> ...


 
--NJoy--LOL, girl you aint got a bit of sense!!


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## caribeandiva (Oct 8, 2014)

bump.. Need more stories!


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