# He Gave Birth. He Breastfed. Now, He Wants His Son To See Him As A Man



## Leeda.the.Paladin (Jun 16, 2018)

CNN)Like many new dads, Sabastion Sparks knew parenting would come with serious challenges. 

But most new dads didn't give birth to their child. They didn't breastfeed them. And they don't endure glares from strangers when they go shopping with their wife and their toddler son.
Sabastion, 24, is a transgender man who lives with his wife Angel in suburban Atlanta. Assigned the female gender at birth, he began transitioning five years ago . It's a process that felt more complete last month when he had surgery to remove his breasts.





Sabastion Sparks gave birth to son Jaxen in October 2016. 
With Father's Day approaching, Sabastion finds himself thinking about gender roles and what it means to be a dad. He wants Jaxen, their 20-month-old son, to have as normal a childhood as possible.
And for the first time, he now feels at ease inside his own body. He hopes Jaxen will see that difference.
"I'm going to be a better father being comfortable in myself and him seeing that confidence in me," he says.

*Sabastion's journey to marriage, and manhood*
As a teen growing up in Locust Grove, Georgia, Sabastion felt different.
Before he transitioned to become a man, he would sit on the school bus and think how much he hated having breasts.


Sabastion hoped that one day after saving enough money, a surgery could remove them.
By the time Sabastion met Angel five years ago at a convention for transgender people, he identified as a man. Angel, 33, was designated male at birth but had transitioned years earlier.





After breastfeeding his son, Sabastion Sparks had his breasts removed in May.
They both knew they wanted to be parents. After they were married in 2016, they agreed that Sabastion would carry their child -- a decision, Angel Sparks says, that wasn't taken lightly.
Like many transgender men and women, they had been taking medication to increase the testosterone or estrogen in their bodies. So to make a baby, they briefly stopped taking their hormone pills.
The couple conceived their son the conventional way, even though their biological roles at the time were not compatible with how they saw themselves.
"Getting pregnant was fine," Angel says. "Trying to stay pregnant was difficult."
The first time they tried, Sabastion miscarried. When he got pregnant with Jaxen, they worried another miscarriage could happen.


"Before Jaxen, Sabastion was my baby," Angel says. "I was worried about the baby, but I was also worried that I could lose Sabastion too."
*When they went out in public, 'people would snicker'*
The couple also faced the prejudice of others.
When Sabastion was pregnant, someone close to him threatened to take the baby away, saying his life at home would be unnatural. For security reasons, he and Angel were listed as anonymous at the hospital.





Sabastion plays with Jaxen in their suburban Atlanta home. "I'm going to be a better father being comfortable in myself."
Angel, a multi-faith minister, said this was a test of their faith. But as she sat there in the delivery room with Sabastion, teasing him "to be a man" while in labor, Angel's fears began to fade away.
"I always say the most beautiful thing in the world gave me the most beautiful thing in the world," she says.
After Jaxen was born, Sabastion sometimes had to breastfeed when he, Angel and their son were out in public. The three of them drew stares as they navigated the aisles of their neighborhood stores.
"People would snicker or call us 'f******,'" she says. "He'd try so hard to cover it up and hide what he was doing."


Sabastion, feeling self conscious, wore a chest binder -- a compression shirt used to flatten breasts.
"It's uncomfortable and sweaty and itchy," he says. "Imagine wearing that for 10, 12 hours at a time. I (was) always having to hide myself."





Angel Sparks, 33. She met Sabastion five years ago at a transgender convention.
Not all transgender people choose to have surgery as part of a gender transition, and Sabastion knows looks shouldn't matter.
But he worries that the scornful way some people treat him could get passed down to Jaxen. That's not what he wants for his son.
So last month's surgery wasn't just important for him, but for Jaxen too. Sabastion wants his son to see himself in him.
"My son won't see breasts on his dad," he says, watching Jaxen play with a ball. "He won't be as different from me."
Angel has noticed Sabastion seems more self-assured since his surgery.


"He's always running around with his shirt off," she says, playfully. "It's like he's looking for a reason to show the world his chest."
*For their son, they want a future without limits*
The Sparks try not to put too much stock into gender roles.
In their two-bedroom apartment, Jaxen has a mixture of toys in his room -- from little trucks to dolls to a play kitchen.





Sabastion says he hopes Jaxen always feels like he can find love wherever he turns.
Angel puts Jaxen to bed some nights, while other times it's Sabastion. They both can sense when Jaxen wants to be picked up or tossed playfully in the air.
But when it comes to lessons learned as a toddler, there are some things Sabastion wants to teach Jaxen, father to son. One of them is how to pee standing up -- something Sabastion does with the help of a detachable prosthetic.
"I can't wait to be there for my kid," says, Sabastion, who works as a security guard at a distribution center. "The more my body resembles his, the better he'll understand."
Although he's less than 2, Jaxen already shows signs of seeing his parents in terms of traditional gender roles.
"He looks to me for nurturing," Angel says. "He looks to dad to play ball."
The Sparks family has no plans for Father's Day this year. Sabastion says he'll most likely be working on Sunday. But he knows there will be plenty of future opportunities for him to spend quality time with their son.





Sabastion: "We're already subject to the ridicule of others. All we can do is teach (Jaxen) our values and hope for the best."
Sabastion wants Jaxen to travel around the world. He wants to help guide his son on his path to adulthood and make sure he never feels like he can't find love wherever he turns.
But even though the Sparks have created a safe and loving home for their son, Sabastion still worries about how cruel the outside world will be to a child with trans parents.
"We're thinking about homeschooling him because we don't what will happen when the kids find out his parents are trans. By being who we are, we're already subject to the ridicule of others," he says. "All we can do is teach him our values and hope for the best."
The couple are raising their son the best way they know how -- with love. They also realize that for many observers, that won't be enough.
"People think trans people can't be good parents, and that's not true," Sabastion adds. "Trans parents are just like any other parents."


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## baha_locks (Jun 16, 2018)

Angel shocked me.

Happy Saturday


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## YvetteWithJoy (Jun 16, 2018)

This all seems so confusing.


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## TCatt86 (Jun 16, 2018)

hmmmm. you know I'm a live and let live person. So I don't really care what they do  But it's interesting that it's un-pc to call these people mentally ill. If I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, I would be treated. Saying I have a mental disease shouldn't take away my humanity.


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## bajandoc86 (Jun 16, 2018)

I don’t know what to say. At the end of the day I hope their son is happy, healthy and well-adjusted.


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## IslandMummy (Jun 16, 2018)

I am leaving.


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## Black Ambrosia (Jun 16, 2018)

What’s confusing to me is that he’s (Sebastian) so adamant about the son seeing himself in his father (Sebastian) when the LGBTQ community is so outspoken about not confirming to gender roles. It feels like he’s actively trying to conform just not to the role he was born with. I’m sure I’m oversimplifying and probably missing something but this is what I’m picking up on. 

Also, Sebastian would have a much easier experience if he weren’t with Angel. Sebastian could pass for a soft dude. Angel isn’t passing. I wonder what her church and sermons are like.


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## doll-baby (Jun 16, 2018)

Dear God


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## ArrrBeee (Jun 16, 2018)

.......


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## Goombay_Summer (Jun 16, 2018)

Sadly I’m stuck with images of this very attractive couple conceiving their son the traditional way and Sebastian’s detachable prosthetic penis.

 I also desperately need for Bastian to get/purchase/reconstruct/ play-doh nipples to his chest area (if he insist on being shirtless). Interesting factoid my furry son didn’t have any nipples either but he never brazenly flaunted the fact that he did not.


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## ThirdEyeBeauty (Jun 16, 2018)

Transgender is a mental illness.  However I  don't care what they want to be called or do with their life as long as they don't hurt an innocent child.


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## nysister (Jun 16, 2018)

I'll be honest I was more surprised by Angel than anything. Cute kid. Sebastian seems like a caring, loving parent.


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## mochalocks (Jun 16, 2018)

What???


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## ThirdEyeBeauty (Jun 16, 2018)

baha_locks said:


> Angel shocked me.
> 
> Happy Saturday





nysister said:


> I'll be honest I was more surprised by Angel than anything. Cute kid. Sebastian seems like a caring, loving parent.


Why is Angel shocking or surprising you?


Black Ambrosia said:


> What’s confusing to me is that he’s (Sebastian) so adamant about the son seeing himself in his father (Sebastian) when the LGBTQ community is so outspoken about not confirming to gender roles. It feels like he’s actively trying to conform just not to the role he was born with. I’m sure I’m oversimplifying and probably missing something but this is what I’m picking up on.
> 
> Also, Sebastian would have a much easier experience if he weren’t with Angel. Sebastian could pass for a soft dude. Angel isn’t passing. I wonder what her church and sermons are like.


Wait a minute,  Angel is a biological male? I didn't read the article to well.  

Eta: I say Angel passed to me.  I was thinking something else.  I'm surprised by that.  The obesity helped to me a lot.


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## Duchesse (Jun 16, 2018)

ThirdEyeBeauty said:


> Why is Angel shocking or surprising you?
> 
> Wait a minute,  Angel is a biological male? I didn't read the article to well.



Angel impregnated the Daddy with her penis.


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## ThirdEyeBeauty (Jun 16, 2018)

Duchesse said:


> Angel impregnated the Daddy with her penis.


I was not thinking at all. 

I'm shocked now and need to get out of this thread.


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## Leeda.the.Paladin (Jun 16, 2018)

I was intrigued by this article for several reasons. 

1) I’m surprised that the person who birthed the child decided to breastfeed, especially since they hated their breasts so much. 2) I know they just gave birth but I think if they worked out and did some strength training, that it would help to look more masculine. They are taking testosterone so I’m assuming that would help to get a bulky build 3) I dont think the reason they get stared at is the fact that they are transgendered...between the hair styles, tattoos, piercings, clothes, and opposite body types, it would be more surprising if they were NOT stared at and 4) the son looks very loved and well cared for and I guess that’s all that matters. I do wonder if this will affect his own sexuality later on in life. I’m happy they are dressing him like a boy and letting him play with cars. I’ve noticed several couples like the ones in the OP who dont try to force gender neutrality on the children of their union. It’s a pleasant surprise.


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## YvetteWithJoy (Jun 16, 2018)

Leeda.the.Paladin said:


> I was intrigued by this article for several reasons.
> 
> 1) I’m surprised that the person who birthed the child decided to breastfeed, especially since they hated their breasts so much. 2) I know they just gave birth but I think if they worked out and did some strength training, that it would help to look more masculine. They are taking testosterone so I’m assuming that would help to get a bulky build 3) I dont think the reason they get stared at is the fact that they are transgendered...between the hair styles, tattoos, piercings, clothes, and opposite body types, it would be more surprising if they were NOT stared at and 4) the son looks very loved and well cared for and I guess that’s all that matters. I do wonder if this will affect his own sexuality later on in life. *I’m happy they are dressing him like a boy and letting him play with cars. I’ve noticed several couples like the ones in the OP who dont try to force gender neutrality on the children of their union. It’s a pleasant surprise.*



, particularly to the bolded.


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## baha_locks (Jun 16, 2018)

ThirdEyeBeauty said:


> I was not thinking at all.
> 
> I'm shocked now and need to get out of this thread.


 Yea, I'm going to leave too.


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## Mai Tai (Jun 16, 2018)

Everybody is hurt in the face...baby included...


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## Shimmie (Jun 16, 2018)

So they… then they... now they...and then 'Angel'  

I'm out


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## natural2008 (Jun 16, 2018)

my Gif won’t post I’ll be back.


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## sweetlaughter (Jun 16, 2018)

Was Angel aiming to become a female candidate for My 600lb Life or was that a side effect of the estrogen?


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## kupenda (Jun 16, 2018)

But I’m still single. Whatever y’all


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## Belle Du Jour (Jun 16, 2018)

I rebuke all of this.


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## I Am So Blessed (Jun 16, 2018)

This is sick and twisted.


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## isioma85 (Jun 16, 2018)

Angel Sparks, *33.*


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## Shimmie (Jun 16, 2018)

Belle Du Jour said:


> I rebuke all of this.


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## nysister (Jun 16, 2018)

ThirdEyeBeauty said:


> Why is Angel shocking or surprising you?
> 
> Wait a minute,  Angel is a biological male? I didn't read the article to well.
> 
> Eta: I say Angel passed to me.  I was thinking something else.  I'm surprised by that.  The obesity helped to me a lot.



The fact that Angel is/was a man, their unusual size and that they are able to have sex. It all took me by surprise.


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## Shula (Jun 16, 2018)

Y'all always making this harder than it has to be. It's really simple. Some of us are mentally ill and some of us are crazy. Have a good night.


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## FlowerHair (Jun 16, 2018)

It always surprises me when someone who doesn’t want to be a woman, wants to carry a baby and breastfeed. That’s about as feminine as it gets.


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## FlowerHair (Jun 16, 2018)

Also, what is a multi faith church?


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## Bun Mistress (Jun 16, 2018)

They want Jaxon to have a normal childhood, so that is why they did this article with pictures and archiving this.....


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## naijamerican (Jun 16, 2018)

Mai Tai said:


> Everybody is hurt in the face...baby included...


Aw, the baby too?! 

I can always count on you to share your unvarnished opinion! 

(I personally think that the baby is cute and that Sebastian looks okay. Angel took my breath away.)


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## Black Ambrosia (Jun 16, 2018)

FlowerHair said:


> Also, what is a multi faith church?


Probably non denominational.


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## SleepyJean (Jun 16, 2018)

I really have no words except for these words right here. Yep. Ok.


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## Chinagem (Jun 16, 2018)

IslandMummy said:


> I am leaving.


I need to go too. Sometimes being PC is so very difficult.


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## BEAUTYU2U (Jun 17, 2018)

Shula said:


> Y'all always making this harder than it has to be. It's really simple. Some of us are mentally ill and some of us are crazy. Have a good night.



Okay, I laughed WAY too hard at this. Goodbye.


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## metro_qt (Jun 17, 2018)

ThirdEyeBeauty said:


> I was not thinking at all.
> 
> I'm shocked now and need to get out of this thread.


I am so confused.
Hold the door open, I'm coming with you.


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## metro_qt (Jun 17, 2018)

naijamerican said:


> (I personally think that the baby is cute and that Sebastian looks okay. *Angel took my breath away*.)


Literally snatched the breath out my throat, and made me pause as I was reading the article.
And now I'm realizing that ...
Angel was born a man...
Wow.


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## fasika (Jun 17, 2018)

I saw this post immediately after it was posted, and I couldn't think of what to post. I still don't know what to say, but I see I'm in good company.


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## intellectualuva (Jun 17, 2018)

isioma85 said:


> Angel Sparks, *33.*



I've reached my limit, I'm done


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## Kindheart (Jun 17, 2018)

It’s a mental illness . 
I always find it fascinating how FM get with MF ,what’s the point of that doesn’t that make you Hetero in a weird twisted way ?


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## Sarabellam (Jun 17, 2018)

Kindheart said:


> It’s a mental illness .
> I always find it fascinating how FM get with MF ,what’s the point of that doesn’t that make you Hetero in a weird twisted way ?



 Logistically it kind of makes sense to me. They both live in a bit of an inbetween space no matter how many surgeries they have and hormones they take simply because they have a whole past life as another gender.  Neither one needs to feel obligated to conform to their new gender more than they want to on any given day inorder to live up to the potential expectations of a cis- gendered spouse. No worries that the SO is just there to validate their new gender assignment. If anything those pairings  are probably more freeing than trans/cis pairing in the early stages of the relationship.

They can also have children that are completely their own during their presurgery period.


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## Ganjababy (Jun 17, 2018)

I know. Angel was the most shocking thing for me in this article. How did daddy do her?





baha_locks said:


> Angel shocked me.
> 
> Happy Saturday


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## Ganjababy (Jun 17, 2018)

It’s ironic but I see it as a physical illness. 





ThirdEyeBeauty said:


> Transgender is a mental illness.  However I  don't care what they want to be called or do with their life as long as they don't hurt an innocent child.


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## Bun Mistress (Jun 17, 2018)

Ok I want to add, I don't think they are getting the stares for what they think they are getting the stares for....


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## Farida (Jun 17, 2018)

FlowerHair said:


> It always surprises me when someone who doesn’t want to be a woman, wants to carry a baby and breastfeed. That’s about as feminine as it gets.


This is what is so confusing to me. He talked about how much he hated having breasts and how he is a man...but he went ahead and did one of the hardest, most uncomfortable feminine things in the world - pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. 

Maybe they felt it would be easier than trying to adopt? Since Angel has a penis if he didn’t carry the baby their options would be adoption or surrogacy. So perhaps he sucked it up because of the logistics?


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## Farida (Jun 17, 2018)

FlowerHair said:


> Also, what is a multi faith church?


I also want to know this...you can have a non-denominational Christian church but you cannot have a Muslim-Christian-Hindu service. You wouldn’t even use the word church. They contradict on so many levels.


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## natural2008 (Jun 17, 2018)

Belle Du Jour said:


> I rebuke all of this.


Can you please let me know how you are posting gifs? For some reason I can’t anymore. Thank you I’m advance .


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## Belle Du Jour (Jun 17, 2018)

natural2008 said:


> Can you please let me know how you are posting gifs? For some reason I can’t anymore. Thank you I’m advance .



I click on the image icon on the toolbar and just paste the link for the gif in the box.  HTH


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## natural2008 (Jun 17, 2018)

Belle Du Jour said:


> I click on the image icon on the toolbar and just paste the link for the gif in the box.  HTH



The mountain next to the smiley face? I use to do this way and it worked but now it doesn’t.


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## coolhandlulu (Jun 17, 2018)

I’m good, luv. Enjoy.


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## msbettyboop (Jun 17, 2018)

I'm so confused right now. And if you sat me down and asked, "What's confusing you msbettyboop?" I'd be like


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## Brownie (Jun 17, 2018)

All the men in the world and this is the story they picked for Father’s Day.


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## natural2008 (Jun 18, 2018)




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## newme2003 (Jun 18, 2018)

So many things that seemed crazy to the world not so long ago are now the norm.  I'm by no means saying that I agree with what is going on.  At this point I'm just praying for God's mercy on my soul and waiting for Jesus' return.  Having said that...did he chop off his breasts on his own and do the suture closure himself? Cause....


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## VimiJn (Jun 18, 2018)

Brownie said:


> All the men in the world and this is the story they picked for Father’s Day.


You nailed it.


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## PretteePlease (Jun 18, 2018)

there is too much ugly in the pics for me to even bother reading. 
the title is enough


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## yamilee21 (Jun 18, 2018)

Farida said:


> I also want to know this...you can have a non-denominational Christian church but you cannot have a Muslim-Christian-Hindu service. You wouldn’t even use the word church. They contradict on so many levels.


Unitarian Universalism draws from any and (almost) all faith practices (although it initially was developed out of Protestant Christianity). Many self-identified pagans attend UU services because of the way any faith traditions are accepted/celebrated. From a UU website, "Whether we're sitting in Zen Buddhist meditation, listening for truth with Christian _lectio divina_, praying to the spirit of life, or chanting in a circle at winter solstice, our spirituality is unbounded." I would guess that the "church" mentioned in this article is inspired by UU, but not officially affiliated with it.


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## Ganjababy (Jun 18, 2018)

I keep coming back into this thread. This is a perfect example of how women are less particular when it comes onto their mates looks. If dude was born a man there is no way in hell he would have been with Angel. 

I feel bad for typing this but it’s my honest opinion


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## Leeda.the.Paladin (Jun 18, 2018)

Ganjababy said:


> I keep coming back into this thread. This is a perfect example of how women are less particular when it comes onto their mates looks. If dude was born a man there is no way in hell he would have been with Angel.
> 
> I feel bad for typing this but it’s my honest opinion


Angel could look a teensy bit better with some effort. Her hair is greasy and dirty looking. No makeup, lip gloss. It’s not a matter of Just throw on a dress and grow your hair out, and wa-la!

I mean, the husband is more groomed than she is and that’s ridiculous. For a normal mother, I’d use the excuse that she just gave birth and is bouncing back from
Having a baby but Angel didn’t even do that! 

In fact most of the male to female trans I’ve seen are still sloppy men under the women’s clothes.


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## naturalgyrl5199 (Jun 18, 2018)

PretteePlease said:


> there is too much ugly in the pics for me to even bother reading.
> the title is enough


You still driving that bus or is it an RV? Save me a seat.


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## PretteePlease (Jun 18, 2018)

naturalgyrl5199 said:


> You still driving that bus or is it an RV? Save me a seat.



I have an RV we need to ride in luxury


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## naturalgyrl5199 (Jun 18, 2018)

PretteePlease said:


> I have an RV we need to ride in luxury


yah...
Its gone be a loooonnnng hot ride....And apparently that RV gone be full o' womenz with bomb hair.


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## RossBoss (Jun 18, 2018)

At the end of the day all this is is wypipo nonsense. Unfortunately there are a lot of Black people quickly joining in on the nonsense.


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## InchHighPrivateEye (Jun 18, 2018)

RossBoss said:


> At the end of the day all this is is wypipo nonsense. Unfortunately there are a lot of Black people quickly joining in on the nonsense.


I came in to call this wps. And I realize that black ppl aren’t a monolith, so therefore there are black ppl who will find this-the gender and childbirth piece— relatable.
But this is wps if for no other reason that they sitting up there like “whet? Why are people staring at os?” Baby, people are going to stare. Because this is a whole lot. Issa lot.


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## Sarabellam (Jun 18, 2018)

yamilee21 said:


> Unitarian Universalism draws from any and (almost) all faith practices (although it initially was developed out of Protestant Christianity). Many self-identified pagans attend UU services because of the way any faith traditions are accepted/celebrated. From a UU website, "Whether we're sitting in Zen Buddhist meditation, listening for truth with Christian _lectio divina_, praying to the spirit of life, or chanting in a circle at winter solstice, our spirituality is unbounded." I would guess that the "church" mentioned in this article is inspired by UU, but not officially affiliated with it.



Those places are a hot mess. I had a “free spirit” professor and he used to go to stuff like this just to see what it is all about. According to him you can even bring magazine clippings to their congregation and create a “sermon” out of it. He thought it was “a hoot”. I sat there in front of the class and said “I don’t like it”. If a “church” leader is not tethered to a unified primary source, they can convince anyone of anything. I’m just waiting for one of those sites to get a charasmatic leader and they go and do something crazy. We already have people taking the Bible out of context to convince the poor masses to buy them a yacht. At these UU places a person wouldn’t even have to get that creative just through some stuff together that sounds good.


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## Petal26 (Jun 18, 2018)

At least they married each other


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## ladysaraii (Jun 18, 2018)

Petal26 said:


> At least they married each other



That's how I feel. I am all for these pairings.


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## HappilyLiberal (Jun 19, 2018)

naturalgyrl5199 said:


> You still driving that bus or is it an RV? Save me a seat.





PretteePlease said:


> I have an RV we need to ride in luxury





naturalgyrl5199 said:


> yah...
> Its gone be a loooonnnng hot ride....And apparently that RV gone be full o' womenz with bomb hair.



Y'all  got to get with the program...  we're up to the 747 of Handbasket's now!!!


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## shortycocoa (Jun 19, 2018)

Yeah, I had to read this foolishness twice, and I'm still feeling like:







Then I saw Angel and I was like:






But no black women were harmed, so....






This is definitely #WPS.


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