# At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved?



## LoveisYou (Feb 17, 2011)

why or why not?  I had this discussion with my sister and her fiance who are both saved.  We were talking about the verse about being unequally yoked, both of them said they preferred and wanted to marry someone who was saved.  What is your take on this?


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## PinkPebbles (Feb 17, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Good question :Blush2:

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 

*38*For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 

*39*Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. *(Romans 8)*

Being unequally yoked with someone will have you compromise your standards and beliefs; and most likely go down the wrong path.

Are you willing to risk spiritual warfare or perhaps bondage for the sake of being with someone that is not a match!?!


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## tyrablu (Feb 17, 2011)

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If I was asked this question last year around this time I would have responded with it doesn't really matter. However, at this point of my life I can see the importance of following God's word, so my answer has changed. I need for my future husband to be of equally yoke, it is important that we are on the same page when it comes to God. He should be able to uplift me, and I should be able to uplift him.


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## Prudent1 (Feb 17, 2011)

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LoveisYou said:


> why or why not? I had this discussion with my sister and her fiance who are both saved. We were talking about the verse about being unequally yoked, both of them said they preferred and wanted to marry someone who was saved. What is your take on this?


No, absolutely positivley not. I have seen and personally know of too many couples who did this. I'm not even talking about different religious affiliations either. I'm talking baby Christian who just received salvation last week and seasoned Christian who has been walking with the Lord for 25 years. Nuh uhh, I'll pass on that heartache and drama. Marriage in and of itself brings challenges. With God they can be won but, even then you will work your tail off and will have some bumpy emotional memories in the process. To further complicate things by being unequally yoked- NOPE! Everything you do will seem foolish and strange to your SO. They will not be able to understand where you are coming from. It's just too much to know that you may spend years of blood, sweat, and tears, where both of you may never be on the same page. Then for us as women to not have the proper covering from our men. It is so much nicer when we can be on one accord. Then when the kids come and see your opinion being belittled. Nope, double nope JMHO.


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## Laela (Feb 17, 2011)

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Never settle for less than God's best for you... Jeremiah 29:11... that means, the best of the best. Not the cream of the crap... (sorry I'm Caribbean...)

That means, being unequally yolked by accepting less than God's best (settling, compromising)  -- when He has something better _already promised _to you. 

[disclaimer: this is generally speaking, when I say "you".. .not directed at you per say, OP ]


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## LoveisYou (Feb 17, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Thanks for your responses ladies, keep them coming


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## OrganizedConfusion (Feb 17, 2011)

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No way...especially if he's not even trying to talk that walk eventually (sooner than later). I never tempt the enemy...any crack in the door that we give the enemy he will try and take.


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## Jynlnd13 (Feb 18, 2011)

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No........I just don't believe I could.


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## makeupgirl (Feb 18, 2011)

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I've seen my mom's marriage to my stepdad as an example of not to marry a non-believer if you're a believer.  My mom is saved but my stepdad wasn't (my sister said that she thinks he is now)  I witness my mom stopped going to church by the wishes of her husband, I witness fights (some drunken), I've witnessed my mom's drinking to ease the pain, I've seen her unhappy and unsettled in her spirit.  I've seen and felt Satan at work in the household.  Even when I was living with them along with my sister, it was uncomfortable to say the least.  This account is from both mine eyes and from my sister's POV. 

Anyhoo, they are now separated with him traveling back and forth to Roanoke and my mom living with me and my sister to make ends meet.  But, the damage is done because of my mom's desire to marry this man that she knew wasn't a believer.


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## Prudent1 (Feb 18, 2011)

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^^^ That's what I'm talking about. No children should witness things like that. No one should be asked to do things that go against God's  instruction to preserve the relationship. He may be saved now (and I hope he is) but mom has already had a lifetime of hurts in her heart from things that happened between the two of them that we may never know:Rose:. For you and your family.


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## phynestone (Feb 18, 2011)

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No, but I have in the past. Totally regret it. I don't date just to date, I date with a purpose. I have no intention on spending any time with a man that I don't see as marriage material. Who cares what society thinks?


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## nicolesanjuan (Feb 18, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

(Scuse me) but, hecks no!!!  It's hard enough when two people are saved because the devil, believe it or not, is definitely against marriage, period.....  However, I will say that when we read this scripture we focus on just being saved, but you can be "unequally" yoked in alot of other ways as well.  For example, likes/dislikes, ministry/non-ministry... I believe that even if two people are saved that's not enough, but you not only have to be led by God...but be compatible, as well.....

Just a quick reply....


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## makeupgirl (Feb 18, 2011)

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Prudent1 said:


> ^^^ That's what I'm talking about. No children should witness things like that. No one should be asked to do things that go against God's instruction to preserve the relationship. He may be saved now (and I hope he is) but mom has already had a lifetime of hurts in her heart from things that happened between the two of them that we may never know:Rose:. For you and your family.


 
Thanks ...I was 23 when they got married and I actually said I wasn't going to get married until My pastor told me not to disbelieve in marriage because of what's happening in my mom's.  Even though I witnessed this as an adult, that's my mom that I saw him verbally and emotionally abused everyday I was there and probably wasn't there and according to my sister it did get physical one time with my mom fighting back.  

I boldly told my mom last year, "Mom you knew he wasn't saved why did you marry him" and she said that she loved him and doesn't want to move out of the situation until God says so.  She left one time after a year of their marriage and then she went back and it got worse.  

If he is saved, then I pray he's a better man this time around.  I forgive him but it's hard to stay in the Lord's will when he's around because the flesh goes off the chain.


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## makeupgirl (Feb 18, 2011)

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phynestone said:


> No, but I have in the past. Totally regret it. I don't date just to date, I date with a purpose. I have no intention on spending any time with a man that I don't see as marriage material. Who cares what society thinks?


 
Amen sister.  I'm doing the same thing, especially after the last one I had last year.


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## Shimmie (Feb 18, 2011)

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Lord no.... I barely get along with me.


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## EbonyHairedPrincess (Feb 18, 2011)

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Okay if we doing real talk, I wouldn't be married at all knowing what I know now.  Let's not even think about binding my life, children, future & spirit to a heathen .  I LUUUUUV my boo but .......


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## StarScream35 (Jun 29, 2011)

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I have been on the walk a long time and I must say at this point I don't think it matters if he is unsaved or not. There are just so few men in the church that I felt the need to open up my options. I know its not a good thing but I run into so few saved men and when I do, they are either married or in a relationship. The last guy I dated was Buddhist and I tried to put all the religious stuff aside. Had it not been for the baby mama drama, I think the relationship would have worked out just fine.


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## nlamr2013 (Jun 29, 2011)

Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.  

21 months natural and loving it!


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## humility1990 (Jun 29, 2011)

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No, because the people who are closest to you influence you. As iron sharpens iron so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. A mate is a friend and so much more so we need to be of an accord. Our children need to see mommy and daddy setting biblical standards in their life, consistency is important. Also I truly believe our lives are a test and though I could be wrong I genuinely think most of the world is going to hell. Now the thought of being in hell causes me so much anguish its unbelievable, that in itself is dreadful, but being separated from a benevolent God for all of eternity is beyond the pale. Though we are all sinners and make mistakes, I would not want to make such a major decision that would cause me to sin even more.


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## Shimmie (Jun 29, 2011)

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nadaa16 said:


> *Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.*



True... very true.    

*However...........*

Don't allow the 'sinner' to pull the saint back into his/her 'past' which God has shed His Blood so freely and to the very death, to deliver them from.    

Why crawl into the muddy waters when Jesus has given so freely unto us, His living waters.    

*Here's a clue:* 

When a woman compromises to get a man, she will compromise even further to 'keep' the man she has compromised to be with.    If she compromised her faith to be with him, she'll compromise all the more to 'please' him.   

Don't even think that the devil will not 'trouble' the waters of the relationship and almost ALWAYS, the woman surrenders to the will of her husband...therefore it's better if he's one with Jesus, least she ends up in the quicksand struggling to keep her head and hair above the mud's surface, for fear of losing him.    

It is written._.. 'Your desire shall be to your husband.'_

I can write an entire volume of books on this...  volumes.  

Marry a man of God; marriage is one of satan's biggest targets.  satan is out to defile that which God has ordained between a man and a woman    

A woman needs a man whose heart is turned towards God and no other.   Even if it means marrying outside of one's race, as long as he knows Jesus, a woman is doing what's right for herself, her husband and with God.  

To God be the Glory... 

You will reap if you faint.... not.


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## blazingthru (Jun 30, 2011)

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I think that dating is so inappropriate and unnessary. We look at the world and we think we should date to get a spouse. I look back on my life and I regret all of it.  Had I learned to make friends I would not have have so many regrets and I  spent time talking to other woman. Its not that hard to find a mate. If your prayed up and your desire is to please God, he will send the right man to you in the right time.  Its best to learn to be friends if you want to get to know someone invite them to church with you. have them stay for lunch or some social event at service. But don't look at them in any other way but friendship.  I have learned that when your friends with people you are more yourself, your not as guarded if you like to sing you will sing or do whatever you would normally do and thereby you get to see a persons real out look on life, real opinion no one is trying to please anyone  I have met several men at my church that I just enjoy being in their company and I love to see who they really are and what they are about since there is no hidden agenda everyone is theirself oh sure we all try to be nice but once you get to know a person you start little by little revealing truths about yourself with no hesitation.  And they as well. I don't like the dating process, you go on a date, you dress really nice, get your hair done nails, all that, now some people do that on the regular and some do not. But we want to make a good impression. So we are going to do things we ordinarly do not do thats not good. But then you see oh good grief this person is not the one for me and you end up in the evening upset that you did all you did to go out with this person or worst you like them and they do not like you. Or they believe 50/50 and you got to pay although you dicuss everything somehow you never got around to money since he asked you out.  NO thank you.  Or he  picks his teeth and complains about everything or talks about things to impress you but thats not who he really is. Its to much of a Fake game and to much time gets wasted.  Now days christian or not, sex is expected. Now I have not dated since 1986 really and back then I wasn't pressured to have sex but my daughter says woman have sex on the first date. What!! without really knowing the person at all!!  Yuck no thanks. 
Any man I meet I hope he is willing to come and visit my church and stay for lunch and meet my friends and enjoy himself and come again. I won't give undivided attention but I would try to make him feel comfortable and see what he thinks and if he is willing to come again and keep it moving.  If I ever date again it will be after the person that I have met has already completed bible studies and I know as a good friend first.  This is my p's and q's.  Plus he has to love me as I am, I wear no make up, I rarely put nail polish on, If I do I chip it off so why bothered. I am natual and love it. I sing out my car window all the time and wave my hands praising the lord anywhere any time. I sing while I am shopping in the mall, in the market.  all these things annoyed my husband. I like pop music an since I listen to christian music I  love the more mellow type of Christian music I love gospel too but most days I prefer mellow praising songs. I only clean up when I get an urge too and I  use to be very very organized and perfunctory but no more. I'll get to it when I get to it so you see if I am going to date anyone he has to be serious about me from the door other then that I am not wasting my time anymore. I only like to cook when I like to cook and for the first time in my life its okay for me to be me. I would hate for anyone to disrupt that ever again. I pray this is not discouraging I am hoping this is though provoking. Christians should always be willing to do something then what the world is doing.


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## Raspberry (Jun 30, 2011)

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blazingthru - So are you saying you don't plan on ever compromising anything about your personality or lifestyle to accommodate another husband? That doesn't sound realistic but hey.. maybe it'll work out for you.

I think the term "dating" gets a bad rap in Christian circles because we define it very narrowly.


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## StarScream35 (Jun 30, 2011)

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blazingthru

Very nice intimate post.


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## Shimmie (Jun 30, 2011)

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blazingthru said:


> I think that dating is so inappropriate and unnessary. We look at the world and we think we should date to get a spouse. I look back on my life and I regret all of it.  Had I learned to make friends I would not have have so many regrets and I  spent time talking to other woman. Its not that hard to find a mate.
> 
> If your prayed up and your desire is to please God, he will send the right man to you in the right time.
> 
> ...



I get your point which is to be real from beginning to end.  No games or fronts which will only be exposed sooner or later.     

Blazing, I like your post because it's you, being you.. and you are indeed very special.    Don't change for anyone but Jesus.  If folks disagree, let it be.  It's still you and that's all that matters.  :Rose:


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## mstrublvr (Jun 30, 2011)

Yes I would. I am not going to say no to an amazing person because of a label or temporary condition. You don't know what the future holds. As long as I keep myself right and do not compromise what I believe in Christ, why not? If everything else is on point, he respects my beliefs, and he treats me like the queen I am, heck yea...

Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## Raspberry (Jun 30, 2011)

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Shimmie said:


> I get your point which is to be real from beginning to end.  No games or fronts which will only be exposed sooner or later.


I agree with this..



Shimmie said:


> Blazing, I like your post because it's you, being you.. and you are indeed very special.   * Don't change for anyone but Jesus*.  If folks disagree, let it be.  It's still you and that's all that matters.  :Rose:



Hmm.. but Biblically speaking, aren't women and men commanded to "submit" to each other..and isn't the very core of submission adapting oneself to your husband's needs? For me personally this is something I've had to come to terms with in my journey to become marriageable.. but not everyone has marriage as a priority and that's perfectly fine.


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## fifi134 (Jun 30, 2011)

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mstrublvr said:


> Yes I would. I am not going to say no to an amazing person because of a label or temporary condition. You don't know what the future holds. As long as I keep myself right and do not compromise what I believe in Christ, why not? If everything else is on point, he respects my beliefs, and he treats me like the queen I am, heck yea...
> 
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300



2 Corinthians 6:14 *Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for  what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship  has light with darkness?

*Wouldn't this compromise what you believe? It worries me that you feel "Christian" is just a label. It is a lifestyle. A man can have everything on point but if he is not saved, he is not the man for me.


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## blazingthru (Jun 30, 2011)

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Raspberry said:


> @blazingthru - So are you saying you don't plan on ever compromising anything about your personality or lifestyle to accommodate another husband? That doesn't sound realistic but hey.. maybe it'll work out for you.
> 
> I think the term "dating" gets a bad rap in Christian circles because we define it very narrowly.


 
I would not want to have my future husband to be anything but what he is sure there are somethings we need to be more mindful of and when we love each other those things are no burden as long as it doesn't make you become something you are not. I was that person for years. My husband told me I  could not sing and so I stopped. I didn't dance much because I thought I didn't dance well and he would get upset. There were so many things I had to change for my husband that I no longer knew who I was.


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## blazingthru (Jun 30, 2011)

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Raspberry said:


> I agree with this..
> 
> 
> 
> Hmm.. but Biblically speaking, aren't women and men commanded to "submit" to each other..and isn't the very core of submission adapting oneself to your husband's needs? For me personally this is something I've had to come to terms with in my journey to become marriageable.. but not everyone has marriage as a priority and that's perfectly fine.


 
I think the world looks at the word Submit as a negative. Husband submit to theirs wives and wives submit to their husband. This is what I feel this means. it doesn't mean that you change the person that you are, hopefully if he is a man of God he has accepted you the way you are and not require you to change but if he likes his wife to only wear dresses and skirts that is submitting to his will. You submit to your husband will in terms of him being the head of the household which means if he says This is how things will be run and it doesn't intefer with the blessings that God has given you then fine.  One of my husbands rule was that all garbage gets frozen. I thought that was strange and weird, but i did it. Later I realize that I never had a smelly trashbin.  His second rule was that all peanut butter and jelly jars get wipe out so that when you pick it up you can see a clear line around the top. Now this annoyed me, but I got over it because I never had to deal with a sticky top and gross stuff on the top side. So I obeyed. He is also to submit, there are certain things I expect him to do as head of house and I tell him. I would love for you to make sure there is always eggs, butter, milk and bread in the house.  These things do not affect the person that you are, they only make you a better spouse. etc., I Hope that make sense. I gave up the person who I was for my marriage and in the end I could not save my marriage. Because that kind of power destroys people.  This is not God's desire for  marriage. We are to love one another and submit to one another not just to one. its so miscontrued its like everyone knows that scripture but forget that we submit to one another.  So what I am saying everyone that knows me know that about me already. It won't be this great surprise after the wedding. I love to cook when I want to cook. Everyone knows why I don't wear make up or rarely nail polish.  I can be a great spouse and still be the person that God has designed me to be.  I use to be a very quite person just observing but now I am very open about how I feel so much so that I am on so many ministries at service because people want to hear what I have to say.  Everything that I have to say I pray is blessed by God and give him the glory. I would never want anyone to interfere and block my blessings ever again.


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## loulou7 (Jun 30, 2011)

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My short answer is: You can do it, *but I surely wouldn't recommend it.*


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## FlyyBohemian (Jun 30, 2011)

No. I've heard of women who did and they ended up in miserable marriages. I wouldn't want to risk my emotions getting involved.


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## Shimmie (Jun 30, 2011)

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Raspberry said:


> I agree with this..
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Blaz has a beautiful heart which is sold out to please God, and in that sense she is totally yielded to change what needs to be changed and to submit to where she is called to submit; which is why it's easy for me to agree with her post.   Reading between the lines, I understand what she means.  

I also understand your post as well and the two of you are actually saying the same thing; it's just worded differently.    The two of you are women who love God and want to please Him and live in obedience to His Will.  

You will both make beautiful wives to some very blessed husbands.    

A happy marriage, simply flowing with the Holy Spirit with peace which will flow between you and your husband just as freely.    

Marriage Blessings... to you.


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## Shimmie (Jun 30, 2011)

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blazingthru said:


> I think the world looks at the word Submit as a negative. Husband submit to theirs wives and wives submit to their husband. This is what I feel this means. it doesn't mean that you change the person that you are, hopefully if he is a man of God he has accepted you the way you are and not require you to change but if he likes his wife to only wear dresses and skirts that is submitting to his will.
> 
> You submit to your husband will in terms of him being the head of the household which means if he says This is how things will be run and it doesn't intefer with the blessings that God has given you then fine.  One of my husbands rule was that all garbage gets frozen. I thought that was strange and weird, but i did it. Later I realize that I never had a smelly trashbin.
> 
> ...



Reading your post I thought about young Brides to Be and even older Brides to be, who need to know this and to not fear being themselves and to not fear a controlling husband... better yet,  not tolerate a controlling husband.


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## Nice & Wavy (Jun 30, 2011)

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No...don't do it.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 1, 2011)

fifi134 said:


> 2 Corinthians 6:14 *Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for  what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship  has light with darkness?
> 
> *Wouldn't this compromise what you believe? It worries me that you feel "Christian" is just a label. It is a lifestyle. A man can have everything on point but if he is not saved, he is not the man for me.



Please don't worry about me. My walk is in progress and I have God to leading me. Christian is a label. I know folks who are kinder and do more good than so-called Christians. Eddie Long is a Christian too. Are you a real follower as Christ said it?? So you follow all the Laws of the Old Testament because He said he didn't come to dismiss them, but to fulfill them...so you a Christ-following Jew? Look, you never know when someone will accept Christ. You just got a headstart on some..doesn't make you better, just early. Give a good man who is open to Christ a chance.  I wonder how many disciples Christ would've not had if he judged them for what they already were or labelled. 

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## mstrublvr (Jul 1, 2011)

FlyyBohemian said:


> No. I've heard of women who did and they ended up in miserable marriages. I wouldn't want to risk my emotions getting involved.



There are Christian women who married Christian men and the same thing happened. 

IMO the equalness needed is the same values, characteristics, core goodness, etc. Just because both are Christians and/or go to same church doesn't mean instant compatibility. I think being open to possibilities and being firm in your relationship with God is what is needed. I can see a lot of women on here passing up Aaron, Moses, Elijah, or Saul, pre-Paul, etc because technically they weren't Christians either. And poor David...yall wouldnt look 2x at him and he was the "apple of God's eye."

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## Love Always (Jul 1, 2011)

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mstrublvr, I like what you had to say especially about being unevenly yoked. If you want to be real there are a lot of single women in the church that desre to be married and as the years go by they remain single for the simple fact that they will not entertain someone a man that isn't "saved". I don't really want to get deeper than that but I definitely see what you're saying .  I also agree with the other ladies as well.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 1, 2011)

Love Always said:


> mstrublvr, I like what you had to say especially about being unevenly yoked. If you want to be real there are a lot of single women in the church that desre to be married and as the years go by they remain single for the simple fact that they will not entertain someone a man that isn't "saved". I don't really want to get deeper than that but I definitely see what you're saying .  I also agree with the other ladies as well.



Thanks, Love Always. I definitely understand what some of them are saying too. Who wants the work and headache...believe me I get it. Plus you are supposed to learn from examples and mistakes. I pray we all are blessed with amazing mates..and can post over in the marriage section soon LOL

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## Guitarhero (Jul 1, 2011)

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We don't use that terminology but I understand what is meant by it.  I think that at this point in my life, no.  I would want someone who is not anti-my religion.  It's just too hard a road to make a relationship work these days without having someone misunderstand your religious points of view and try sabotage you somehow.


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## Guitarhero (Jul 1, 2011)

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blazingthru said:


> . If your prayed up and your desire is to  please God, he will send the right man to you in the right time.



I don't think dating is inappropriate nor unnecessary, it's simply the way that people meet each other today.  Few families use a matchmaker for their kids.  But one thing that troubles me and is hard to get a grip on, whether to make a move or just wait.  You know, they say wait on G-d but that at times, G-d is waiting for you to make a move.  With spouses and whatnot, this is the single most complex issue for me to comprehend (know where I need to be given a certain situation).



Nice & Wavy said:


> No...don't do it.




I did...but well, I didn't think about G-d in those days anyway...but surely came back to Him.  Yeah, don't do it...you will suffer greatly.


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## Laela (Jul 1, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

That's a great point you've raised here and it's sad that indeed, Christians today do _choose _to divorce, and not because of situations such as abuse and adultery... Just the same, there are just as many happily married Christian couples, who met in many different ways. So I hear you on compatibility..yet if God is the standard you live by, there's no way you would accept someone who doesn't love your God. 

I'll also say this: If someone has a calling on their life from God, it will become evident at some point.. Staying firm in your relationship with God, will let you see possibilities, but it also would afford you the Wisdom to recognize the Aarons, Moses, Elijah's and not waste your time with Nabal.   God just won't leave you hanging like that... 
Prov 13:12 says a_ hope deferred makes the heart sick but a desire fulfilled is a tree of Life_.

Be blessed...




mstrublvr said:


> There are Christian women who married Christian men and the same thing happened.
> 
> IMO the equalness needed is the same values, characteristics, core goodness, etc. Just because both are Christians and/or go to same church doesn't mean instant compatibility.* I think being open to possibilities and being firm in your relationship with God is what is needed. I can see a lot of women on here passing up Aaron, Moses, Elijah, or Saul, pre-Paul, etc because technically they weren't Christians either.* And poor David...yall wouldnt look 2x at him and he was the "apple of God's eye."
> 
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## fifi134 (Jul 2, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> Please don't worry about me. My walk is in progress and I have God to leading me. Christian is a label. I know folks who are kinder and do more good than so-called Christians. Eddie Long is a Christian too. *Are you a real follower as Christ said it??* So you follow all the Laws of the Old Testament because He said he didn't come to dismiss them, but to fulfill them...so you a Christ-following Jew? Look, you never know when someone will accept Christ. You just got a headstart on some..doesn't make you better, just early. Give a good man who is open to Christ a chance.  I wonder how many disciples Christ would've not had if he judged them for what they already were or labelled.
> 
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300



@mstrublvr You seem pretty defensive about my post yet what I typed is what God says in His Word. Your defensive stance is not towards me, it's towards the verse I posted. The Bible says we are not to be in relationships with those who are non-believers yet you say one should go against Scripture and do so anyway. That is a big problem. A real follower would heed His word, not compromise it to fit their lifestyle.


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## fifi134 (Jul 2, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Laela said:


> That's a great point you've raised here and it's sad that indeed, Christians today do _choose _to divorce, and not because of situations such as abuse and adultery... Just the same, there are just as many happily married Christian couples, who met in many different ways. So I hear you on compatibility..*yet if God is the standard you live by, there's no way you would accept someone who doesn't love your God.*
> 
> Be blessed...



Amen!.........


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## mstrublvr (Jul 2, 2011)

fifi134 said:


> @mstrublvr You seem pretty defensive about my post yet what I typed is what God says in His Word. Your defensive stance is not towards me, it's towards the verse I posted. The Bible says we are not to be in relationships with those who are non-believers yet you say one should go against Scripture and do so anyway. That is a big problem. A real follower would heed His word, not compromise it to fit their lifestyle.



Fifi - #1 Man said God said. Everything we believe is by faith. The bible has been altered by many for their own purpose. Check your history...but that's another topic...

I never said go against the Word. I say be open to life and its possibilities. Today a non believer, tomorrow a believer. You don't know someone's path. Who knows...I am open to life and all the surprises God has in store for me. Also, I don't have a problem with the Word, I have a problem with those who try to use it against others and put them down or question their choices. You seem a lil judgy to me and that's a turn off to me a believer....I cannot imagine the judginess making anyone who is not a believer want to listen....darn sure not a man. This is a problem because we are supposed to be examples. So yea I am defensive. I will stand up to a judge any day for myself and others who seem lacking to someone like you.  Use the Word as a light to lead, not blind. 

Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## mstrublvr (Jul 2, 2011)

Laela said:


> That's a great point you've raised here and it's sad that indeed, Christians today do _choose _to divorce, and not because of situations such as abuse and adultery... Just the same, there are just as many happily married Christian couples, who met in many different ways. So I hear you on compatibility..yet if God is the standard you live by, there's no way you would accept someone who doesn't love your God.



Laela, I never said I would accept a man who doesn't love God...and for the record Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Catholics, Native Americans all believe in God - they call Him by another name is all. So there are a lot more people who love God than just Christians...I am sure He knows that even if we don't. Again people get caught up in labels. Is it preferred for a man to have my same label, sure. But I will take a man who loves God, serves God, is kind, loves me, has same goals and temperament, values etc but doesn't call himself a Christian BUT who is open to the possibility anyday. That is the compatibility I hope for. Not everything for you will come in the packaging you expect is my understanding. 

Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## mstrublvr (Jul 2, 2011)

And ladies, I truly wish the best for all yall..even the judges...especially the judges. I noticed in the responses to my posts about being open straight up bible thumping and stone hurling. Take it down a notch. Do not be like the pharisees who thought they had it going on because they could quote scriptures, but couldn't see the One who wrote the scriptures. Just sayin.

Last post in this forum. Yall can keep this topic going as is and I will stay open to what God has for me. Let's agree to disagree.

Gotta go build something positive with all these stones thrown my way lol. Be blessed...and humble.

Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## blazingthru (Jul 2, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Shimmie said:


> Reading your post I thought about young Brides to Be and even older Brides to be, who need to know this and to not fear being themselves and to not fear a controlling husband... better yet, not tolerate a controlling husband.


 
Thanks so much Shimmie,  I think that would be a great topic for young adults as well as woman who have never been  married, or have been and or now divorced. 

I wanted to share something with you. There is an Elder in our Church she has a great marriage but she wants her husband to be as spiritual as she is but that’s not under our control God deals with us differently, anyway she saw him fall on his knees and lift his hands up and was shaking and she was just stunned she said, oh my, he is really feeling the spirit and  is in deep prayer,  let me go and encourage him and she went over and just was saying Hallelujah over and over and he was trying to talk to her. She was steady praising the lord and he said honey it’s not the Holy Ghost, my back just went out. 

Well I was laughing all over the place, I could imagine how it all looked. I said if my husband was to do the same thing I would have laid out right on the ground so I understand.  But her husband is a man of God he is just not as spiritual as she is, his prayer is not as long as hers, She gets up at 3:30 am for her quiet time, and work out and then goes to work. I am not there yet either. So amen for her and her dedication. But I thought that was so funny.  In any case, she  met him he was Methodist and they would see each other off and on eventually he wanted to date her and she introduce him to her father who explained what they were and what they believed and he wanted to marry her so he studied the bible with her father and was baptized. And she made him wait another year to make  sure it took, then they got married and they are much older now and the  most loving couple, but he works her nerves and she tells us, even up on the pulpit but we all know him so we know what she means. Funny. I love those people dearly. They are a great example of a good marriage.


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## fifi134 (Jul 2, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> Fifi - #1 Man said God said. Everything we believe is by faith. The bible has been altered by many for their own purpose. Check your history...but that's another topic...
> 
> I never said go against the Word. I say be open to life and its possibilities. Today a non believer, tomorrow a believer. You don't know someone's path. Who knows...I am open to life and all the surprises God has in store for me. Also, I don't have a problem with the Word, I have a problem with those who try to use it against others and put them down or question their choices. You seem a lil judgy to me and that's a turn off to me a believer....I cannot imagine the judginess making anyone who is not a believer want to listen....darn sure not a man. This is a problem because we are supposed to be examples. So yea I am defensive. I will stand up to a judge any day for myself and others who seem lacking to someone like you.  Use the Word as a light to lead, not blind.
> 
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300



I'm sorry but I still completely disagree. By being "open to life and its possibilities" one can still go against the Word. You said you would gladly date someone who is not a Christian, however the Bible says not to. If you don't have a problem with the Word, why go against it?

You are right about one thing though, IDK anyone's path. But if I know that *at this very moment  *they are not saved, I will adhere to Scripture and not even entertain the thought of dating them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I'm also sick of the argument that Christians are not to judge. That is biblically incorrect. The Bible calls us to judge. 

* John 7:24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”                                     *

What kind of a chaotic mess would we be in if there was no judging? When you see your brother/sister sinning, are you not to judge and correct them? Christians are to love one another and one of the prime aspects of love is chastising one for doing what's wrong. Does a loving father not discipline his children when they act up? We should judge *out of love *to uplift one another. We are simply told not to judge if we ourselves are doing the same thing.

*Matthew 7:1-5* *Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you  pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be  measured to you. *

For Christians, the Bible is our guide to life, our rule book for how we ought to do things. If you think there's an issue with using the Bible to question the choices of a 'Christian', I don't understand why. If that is what you identify yourself as, it shouldn't be a problem when people point to Scripture as their source. Your beliefs are outlined in the Bible, so why is it wrong to judge someone's beliefs based on their words/actions to what the Bible says? I don't understand. 

We shouldn't use Scripture to try to make anyone feel low, I agree, but that is not what I did in my first post. I merely pointed to where Scripture said different to what you said.

Lastly, there are some who have altered Bibles to suit their own purposes, but there are countless *true *translations of the Bible that have been shown to be near copies of the original Hebrew. The Bible isn't translated from one language than translated into another language from the previous translation. Every translation comes from the original manuscripts. Nevertheless, the Word of God will stay true from generation to generation. 

*Jeremiah 31:33* *I will put My law within them and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people.*


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## blazingthru (Jul 2, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Guitarhero said:


> I don't think dating is inappropriate nor unnecessary, it's simply the way that people meet each other today. Few families use a matchmaker for their kids. But one thing that troubles me and is hard to get a grip on, whether to make a move or just wait. You know, they say wait on G-d but that at times, G-d is waiting for you to make a move. With spouses and whatnot, this is the single most complex issue for me to comprehend (know where I need to be given a certain situation)..


 
 The person you meet is not always going to know God and if he is serious about you and he is the man that God has already designed for you, he will come to know God through you. As long as you keep things on a friendship level. Its true many have brought men to church and they ended up married to someone else, that was not the man for you. So we just can't look at men from a dating point of view but a friendship. Ultimately our desire is to help someone come to Christ everything else is secondary. Then two there is the power of Prayer, get a prayer partner pray about your desire to have a husband that puts God first, that has a heart for God, Who is kind and loving and dependable and ask God to bless his finances so that he can provide for you, you want this because if he puts God first you best believe he is going to treat you like the queen you are. If a man is truly interested in you and your a person thats faith is planted like the tree by the water he is going to want to know more about it. With much prayer he might want to study the bible and if he is the man for you, God will work everything out in your favor. In this we need to have a lot of faith and trust in God. We need to be obedient without obedience we cannot have a true relationship with God. 

We also need to set aside time with God everyday. like an appointment. of course you commune with God all day but you need to have some special time with the lord everyday. If 4 am is the best time then so be it. I  just posted a story about my friend now she had been married before but her husband was abusive and she just didn't want to go down that road again so she refuse to even  consider a man until her child was ready to go off to college. I Love this woman so much because she endured so much in her life and yet God sent her a special man. she met him at a dinner she had been talking to him and he was so funny she kept laughing thorough the event then she happen to look down and see his socks he had two mismatched socks on and she looked up at him and he said What! they are both blue.. Oh my goodness that would have been it for me but you see God had a plan. HE was methodist she was Seventh Day no match at all but God had a plan and so when she realize that it was becoming  more then friendship she introduce him to her parents and her father said  if you want to date my daughter well you have to study the bible. We know your methodist but if this is what you desire then this should be no problem and so he did.  not right away, but he did and afterwards he got baptized and she still made him wait a year to make sure it was about his relationship with God and not only about her. They been  married almost 30 years.


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## makeupgirl (Jul 2, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> And ladies, I truly wish the best for all yall..even the judges...especially the judges. I noticed in the responses to my posts about being open straight up bible thumping and stone hurling. Take it down a notch. Do not be like the pharisees who thought they had it going on because they could quote scriptures, but couldn't see the One who wrote the scriptures. Just sayin.
> 
> Last post in this forum. Yall can keep this topic going as is and I will stay open to what God has for me. Let's agree to disagree.
> 
> ...


 
If you didn't want someone to respond via scriptures, then what are you doing on a Christian forum? That's like saying, we can go to a candy store but cannot have any candy or give out candy. (maybe a bad analogy but I failed this on my SAT) Anyhoo, if you are truly in Christ (which is the definition of a Christian) then you are supposed to, required to, ya better follow every word, sentence, paragraph, poem, song in the word of God. He didn't speak it in existance or inspired the authors to write his word down for nothing. It's for his glory and honor but also to give us instructions on how we should live this life. 

For the record, the Pharisees actually were called hypocrites to their face by Jesus himself. They twisted the word for themselves and was doing stuff in the name of God for their own pleasures. 

Which leads me to.....my point....we all sin and come short of the glory of God. That's a fact because it is scriptural. Meaning we're still going to mess up. If you're in Christ, then you have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you into all truths in all parts of our life, not just the spiritual life. So, ask yourself this, what are you going to do if you meet the man of your "dreams", you get married, but you never consulted with God your heavenly father about this to see if this guy is from him to you according to his ordained purpose. Then you're pretty much acted against God at that point and said "Yo God I can take it from here, I don't need your help"  God is our free background check on our future mates. Why not trust him and take him at his word? If he said, do not be unequally yoke with unbelievers, then duh don't be unequally yoke with unbelievers. Don't have a life with them, don't marry them, don't have kids with them. It's not that hard to figure out when you take the word as it is spoke and not add or take away from it. He didn't say, do not be unequally yoke with unbelievers but if you're having trouble finding a mate after such and such age, then feel free to date whomever. NO, NO, and NO. This is what got Abraham in trouble when he knocked up his maidservant. It richocet a lot of stuff that was not good...adultary (sorry I'm without spell check today ), the birth of the muslim nation via Ishmel, jealousy and strife between Sarah and Hagai and Ishmal and Issac. After this example, I think I would trust God not man. 

So no, you're on a Christian forum so you're going to gets got with a whole lot more bible thumping (I hate that phrase). Why? because that's what we who are in Christ do. We study scriptures to communicate with God. To get his perspective on life. The examples in the book happened for real, it's not a fairy tale. It's to let us know this is what happened, why it shouldn't have happened, this is what you need to do in case of, and by faith you should follow and pay attention to what has been written. So be open to the fact that what God has for you is written in his word. Trust and believe in him fully with your whole heart about every aspect of your life and you'll be fine. 

Finally, Christian is not a label. No, it's a position, it's our title, it's our nationality so to speak. Those who have trusted and believe in Christ as their Lord and Savior are new creatures in him and has renewed their mind; have decided to follow Christ by faith and has decided to die to self and in Christ by the aid of the Holy Spirit for guidance and wisdom. It's not a fashion label like Gucci, for a brand for a credit card or a product brand. Not everyone who say I am a Christian is a true born again, washed in the blood of the lamb Christian. 

Sorry to get preachy but this had to be said. Now I'm going to eat a plum.


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## Zeal (Jul 2, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Definately, Not. 

Reason: The bible says that we should not be un-equally yoked. It is difficult enough dealing with *my own saved drama*.

It is easier to pull a person down then it is to lift a person up. Scientifically and Spiritually. If anything, I can't put myself in predicuments. I may not always be strong. 

I don't think we would have the same focus. My heart is hidden in Christ.

However, when push comes to shove, I would need *Divine Influence* from the person I am dating. Someone who respects and *has an understanding* of my love for Christ. Someone who would not mind hearing me talk about the Lord and enjoy it. (When I get excited and go on one of my rants [if you will] about what God did for me. I do that sometimes....and it's like. Sometimes, not a lot I get like Jeremiah. But when I do..........

I don't want to put any man's life or well-being in danger. God is a jealous God.  He might desire more of my God time. ( A saved courter might be the same) My focus might get blurred.

I can appreciate someone who can correct me in love when I start tripping and not agree with my every foolish antic.

FOR HIS OWN SANITY  - He has to know the Lord to deal with me. [I'm just sayin'] I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the Lord. I am his daughter. However, I have Simon Peter tendencies. Please be patient with me. God isn't through with me yet.


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## Guitarhero (Jul 2, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



blazingthru said:


> *The person you meet is not always going to know God and if he is serious about you and he is the man that God has already designed for you, he will come to know God through you.* As long as you keep things on a friendship level. Its true many have brought men to church and they ended up married to someone else, that was not the man for you. So we just can't look at men from a dating point of view but a friendship. ......................
> 
> If a man is truly interested in you and your a person thats faith is planted like the tree by the water* he is going to want to know more about it*. With much prayer he might want to study the bible and if he is the man for you, God will work everything out in your favor. In this we need to have a lot of faith and trust in God. We need to be obedient without obedience we cannot have a true relationship with God.




I don't know if you know but I've been married before..but not in the church...essentially "not" married, plus, I wasn't religious at the time.  When I think about explaining it, my head spins.  His family is Jewish according to Jewish law...mine if partly Jewishly descended.  That's not the problem because I found my faith again in the synagogue as well as eventually the church.  He didn't, truly.   The problem was that his family was forced to the Orthodox Ethiopian Church because of political reasons.  The grandmother had him baptized/confirmed as a baby and she found faith in Jesus as Messiah.  They still practiced Judaism with all the feasts etc.  But he and his brothers and, I guess, parents (step-mom), were not that religious.  Then the socialists took everything and murdered people in the millions.  Since his childhood, there was nothing but parties, drugs, terror and death.  Little room for finding true religion or faith.  


See, I basically don't have a problem with anybody Jewish, orthodox, Coptic or catholic.  But I will have nothing to do with protestants, muslims, Hindus, religious Buddhists or any other traditions because they don't comprehend us.  It's hard enough Jewish/catholic lol!  I just won't do it.  And I'm not going to be raising up any man.  In our tradition, you are baptised in infancy, reborn into the family of G-d.  In confirmation, the H-ly Spirit comes upon you in a special way to guide you for the rest of your life.  You are trained by your parents.  You are simply catholic since birth.  I'm not going to get into a relationship with any other except maybe for a Jew (for various other personal reasons) in hopes I can lead somebody to the Church.  That's on them.  There are many marriages in the Church requiring a dispensation to marry (others not of it) but I'm not going to be one of them.  This next time around, it'll be through the Church.  I'm not one to meet a nice guy and wait for him to find Jesus, planting seeds.  Nope, tis for the birds, hoping forever.  Well, I didn't do that the first time around.  I just don't believe in it.    Of course, ...the Jewish issue...but it's more cultural than not for me and is highly complicated.  As for race, yes, I'd prefer any color of Native guy.  There are even messianic or orthodox Native Americans as you must know by now.  But that's it.  I have one plan and will not sway from it.  Never again.  You can end up losing too much of yourself.


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## aribell (Jul 2, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

No.  Disobeying God won't be a path to being blessed, and it's likely it won't work very well.

I think that if a believer pursues a relationship with an unbeliever, the unbeliever will grieve the believer's spirit and there will necessarily be a certain "distance" between them, like the believer has a whole world that the nonbeliever is not privy to.

If the believer doesn't notice any difference, I think it's saying something about the spiritual state of the believer.


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## softblackcotton (Jul 3, 2011)

I am considered to be in the baby or toddler stage of my Christian walk. I need someone who we can build together in our walk with God. That's enough of a great challenge without adding a husband who doesn't believe.  I remember reading Kings, where Soloman married pagan women they eventually turned his heart from God. He went from being a devout and very blessed man of God to building pagan Asherah poles and temples of Baal. That is why the family of David never ruled all of Isreal ever again. Only Jerusalem. He is just one example. The ancient Jews were so against marrying out, not because of racism, but because of cultural religious conflicts. They were God's chosen people. Ethnic Jews are no longer God's chosen people, but Gentiles or spiritual Jews, we are all God's chosen people. We must exercise the same caution in outsidemarriage as the ancient Jews did.


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## silenttullip (Jul 3, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

I wouldn't its tough enough dealing with an already "saved man"
Then we gotta handle him not wanting to go to church, study bible together, pray together. I always saw myself doing that with that special man. He needs to lead me
and I support him but not me trying to convince him of something he's not ready for


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## Laela (Jul 3, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Well, I hope you see that from your own contradiction, you are the one preoccupied with labels. You may very well pass up someone suitable for you, simply because he calls himself a "Christian"

If it's something you're coming to terms with, that's a good thing.
 


mstrublvr said:


> Laela, I never said I would accept a man who doesn't love God...and for the record Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Catholics, Native Americans all believe in God - they call Him by another name is all. So there are a lot more people who love God than just Christians...I am sure He knows that even if we don't.*Again people get caught up in labels. *Is it preferred for a man to have my same label, sure.*B**ut I will take a man who loves God, serves God, is kind, loves me, has same goals and temperament, values etc but doesn't call himself a Christian BUT* who is open to the possibility anyday. That is the compatibility I hope for. Not everything for you will come in the packaging you expect is my understanding.
> 
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## Laela (Jul 3, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

!!!



makeupgirl said:


> Sorry to get preachy but this had to be said.* Now I'm going to eat a plum.*


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## Guitarhero (Jul 3, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



softblackcotton said:


> I am considered to be in the baby or toddler stage of my Christian walk. I need someone who we can build together in our walk with God. That's enough of a great challenge without adding a husband who doesn't believe.  I remember reading Kings, where Soloman married pagan women they eventually turned his heart from God. He went from being a devout and very blessed man of God to building pagan Asherah poles and temples of Baal. That is why the family of David never ruled all of Isreal ever again. Only Jerusalem. He is just one example. The ancient Jews were so against marrying out, not because of racism, but because of cultural religious conflicts. They were God's chosen people. *Ethnic Jews are no longer God's chosen people,* but Gentiles or spiritual Jews, we are all God's chosen people. We must exercise the same caution in outsidemarriage as the ancient Jews did.




  Yes, "we" are.  That is highly incorrect.  Remember, you gentiles were grafted onto the vine.  But I do agree with those examples of great devout people being brought into shame for the spouse they married.  It can certainly run you down.


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## Shimmie (Jul 3, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



makeupgirl said:


> If you didn't want someone to respond via scriptures, then what are you doing on a Christian forum? That's like saying, we can go to a candy store but cannot have any candy or give out candy. (maybe a bad analogy but I failed this on my SAT)
> 
> Anyhoo, if you are truly in Christ (which is the definition of a Christian) then you are supposed to, required to, ya better follow every word, sentence, paragraph, poem, song in the word of God. He didn't speak it in existance or inspired the authors to write his word down for nothing. It's for his glory and honor but also to give us instructions on how we should live this life.
> 
> ...



My Lord....   

Girl you don't play do you.... ?  

I mean this as a wholesome and loving compliment.  

You really bless me and I did laugh at the first and very last comments of your post.


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## OhmyKimB (Jul 3, 2011)

Guitarhero said:


> Yes, "we" are.  That is highly incorrect.  Remember, you gentiles were grafted onto the vine.  But I do agree with those examples of great devout people being brought into shame for the spouse they married.  It can certainly run you down.



That was insulting why are you even in the Christian forum then? Because apparently us Gentiles don't know what were talking about (the nerve for us to consider ourselves one because we were adopted in. Please stay away from any child who is adopted.) and you haven't made and strides to convert us either.

Sent from my HTC EVO 4G


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## OhmyKimB (Jul 3, 2011)

Guitarhero said:


> I don't know if you know but I've been married before..but not in the church...essentially "not" married, plus, I wasn't religious at the time.  When I think about explaining it, my head spins.  His family is Jewish according to Jewish law...mine if partly Jewishly descended.  That's not the problem because I found my faith again in the synagogue as well as eventually the church.  He didn't, truly.   The problem was that his family was forced to the Orthodox Ethiopian Church because of political reasons.  The grandmother had him baptized/confirmed as a baby and she found faith in Jesus as Messiah.  They still practiced Judaism with all the feasts etc.  But he and his brothers and, I guess, parents (step-mom), were not that religious.  Then the socialists took everything and murdered people in the millions.  Since his childhood, there was nothing but parties, drugs, terror and death.  Little room for finding true religion or faith.
> 
> 
> See, I basically don't have a problem with anybody Jewish, orthodox, Coptic or catholic.  But I will have nothing to do with protestants, muslims, Hindus, religious Buddhists or any other traditions because they don't comprehend us.  It's hard enough Jewish/catholic lol!  I just won't do it.  And I'm not going to be raising up any man.  In our tradition, you are baptised in infancy, reborn into the family of G-d.  In confirmation, the H-ly Spirit comes upon you in a special way to guide you for the rest of your life.  You are trained by your parents.  You are simply catholic since birth.  I'm not going to get into a relationship with any other except maybe for a Jew (for various other personal reasons) in hopes I can lead somebody to the Church.  That's on them.  There are many marriages in the Church requiring a dispensation to marry (others not of it) but I'm not going to be one of them.  This next time around, it'll be through the Church.  I'm not one to meet a nice guy and wait for him to find Jesus, planting seeds.  Nope, tis for the birds, hoping forever.  Well, I didn't do that the first time around.  I just don't believe in it.    Of course, ...the Jewish issue...but it's more cultural than not for me and is highly complicated.  As for race, yes, I'd prefer any color of Native guy.  There are even messianic or orthodox Native Americans as you must know by now.  But that's it.  I have one plan and will not sway from it.  Never again.  You can end up losing too much of yourself.



I don't know what Protestants you know. But many of "us" understand Catholicism and Judaism quite well. Thank you.

Sent from my HTC EVO 4G


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## LifeafterLHCF (Jul 4, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

I feel that there is never a time in your walk like you can't get that deep in God enough to be able to go out of his will and date or God forbid marry a unbeliever.He can be a friend and with much prayer and fasting hope he will give his life to our daddy.I have gone out of his will when I was engaged a few years ago and well Im neither married and still recovering from the wounds.Just my 2 cents


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## Shimmie (Jul 4, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



GoddessMaker said:


> I feel that there is never a time in your walk like you can't get that deep in God enough to be able to go out of his will and date or God forbid marry a unbeliever.He can be a friend and with much prayer and fasting hope he will give his life to our daddy.I have gone out of his will when I was engaged a few years ago and well Im neither married and still recovering from the wounds.Just my 2 cents



You have a wonderful testimony of life and God is going to use you to restore and 'save' the lives of many, many hurting men and women.  

Don't ever give up... for your pain, God has given you 'Beauty for Ashes'.     (Isaiah 61)


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## FlyyBohemian (Jul 4, 2011)

mstrublvr said:


> There are Christian women who married Christian men and the same thing happened.
> 
> IMO the equalness needed is the same values, characteristics, core goodness, etc. Just because both are Christians and/or go to same church doesn't mean instant compatibility. I think being open to possibilities and being firm in your relationship with God is what is needed. I can see a lot of women on here passing up Aaron, Moses, Elijah, or Saul, pre-Paul, etc because technically they weren't Christians either. And poor David...yall wouldnt look 2x at him and he was the "apple of God's eye."
> 
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300



Still, Christ makes a difference! When a man has the fear of God in him, there is a difference in the way he will treat you. I'm not going to marry a man who does not take his relationship with God seriously. He'll question why you give so much money to church, why you spend so much time in church, why you don't drink or smoke as much, and especially why you won't sleep with him when  your not married to him. Men have the upper hand most of the time and eventually you'll choose to give in or leave. The bible says "you cant serve 2 masters. You will love one and hate the other." In marriage you serve your husband. It would be a lot harder if he is not saved. The word also states "bad company corrupts good manners" and warns us to "take heed lest you fall". We are never to spiritual to fall. If we are open to marrying non-Christians then where do we draw the line? Can we marry moslems, Hindus, bhuddist, or satanist? What if your child chooses your husband's religion and not yours? Who can you blame then? I'm not saying that all men in the church are good or all men in the world are bad, but Jesus Christ should be the most important thing in any marriage. A life outside the will of God is not fulfilling.


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## Shimmie (Jul 4, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



FlyyBohemian said:


> Still, Christ makes a difference! When a man has the fear of God in him, there is a difference in the way he will treat you.
> 
> I'm not going to marry a man who does not take his relationship with God seriously. He'll question why you give so much money to church, why you spend so much time in church, why you don't drink or smoke as much, and especially why you won't sleep with him when  your not married to him. Men have the upper hand most of the time and eventually you'll choose to give in or leave. The bible says "you cant serve 2 masters. You will love one and hate the other." In marriage you serve your husband. It would be a lot harder if he is not saved. The word also states "bad company corrupts good manners" and warns us to "take heed lest you fall". We are never to spiritual to fall.
> 
> If we are open to marrying non-Christians then where do we draw the line? Can we marry moslems, Hindus, bhuddist, or satanist? What if your child chooses your husband's religion and not yours? Who can you blame then? I'm not saying that all men in the church are good or all men in the world are bad, but Jesus Christ should be the most important thing in any marriage. A life outside the will of God is not fulfilling.



Exactly  

_Can two WALK TOGETHER, except they be agreed?  Amos 3:3

No man can SERVE TWO MASTERS: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.  (Matthew 6:24)
_ 

This scripture applies to more than just money (mammon).  

A married couple cannot serve two different gods.   One of the two will alter their faith; often it is the wife who fears losing her husband.  She will suffer all just to stay married.   She's already surrendered her faith if she marries outside of it; it is almost certain she will surrender completely to stay married.

For a Christian male or female seeking a mate, their marriage has a much better chance of survival if they are both Christians as they are one in Christ Jesus. 

--------------------------------------

Happy 4th...    We're having a huge BBQ    I'm off my diet.   This is proof positive I cannot serve two masters.  Eating right ....


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## Ladybelle (Jul 4, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

No, I wouldn't date someone who is not a Christian. You have to be God led in order to be bold enough to step to me, lol!  

I would try to disciple to a non-christian dude, but not be his  girlfriend or wife. If he's lost how on earth could he ever lead me?


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## Guitarhero (Jul 4, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



OhmyKimB said:


> I don't know what Protestants you know. But many of "us" understand Catholicism and Judaism quite well. Thank you.
> 
> Sent from my HTC EVO 4G



Yeah, I've known enough of them to know that I'm not ever going to seek out a relationship with one.  No, they don't when it comes to our religion, teachings from OUR point of view (not 3rd person) and culture, just like the other religions I mentioned.  It inevitably takes on the question of religion versus truth.   Nobody here is vying to run and find a catholic guy to marry.  They want a protestant because they would be closer to what they are used to religiously.  We are not the same.  That is my preference.  A pentecostal is not at all going to understand me and vice versa.  That pentecostal deserves a pente spouse, not a catholic one.  The point is to be equally yoked for whoever you are.  There are people here who don't even think that catholics are christians or that Jews are G-d's chosen.    I've been around these CF parts for a little while.  Trust me on that.

The point is, equally yoked to what you can accept.  I know of many Jewish-catholic unions in which they both retain their separate religions.  But for catholic, orthodox, coptic etc. with other christian sects, they either converted or left the relationship.  Besides that, you have to get a dispensation.  But there can be no union with a non-catholic/orthodox and a priest will not marry them.  With Jews, you can get a dispensation and have your priest present to preside along with the rabbi (not orthodox Jews, of course).  Why that is, I do not fully understand but it is true.


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## Guitarhero (Jul 4, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



OhmyKimB said:


> That was insulting why are you even in the Christian forum then? Because apparently us Gentiles don't know what were talking about (the nerve for us to consider ourselves one because we were adopted in. Please stay away from any child who is adopted.) and you haven't made and strides to convert us either.
> 
> Sent from my HTC EVO 4G




I'm not here to argue with you.  We all should know our faith and know how to defend it.  That, however, does not constitute proselytization.  Thank G-d!!!  Ma'am, I am a loving mother of 4 wonderful beautiful, smart and well-balanced children.  I was adopted by a loving family, as was my brother.  I am also reunited with my birth family.  I know a lot of what it means to be adopted, and to have lived in foster homes at a young age.  Lots of people here understand my posts.  I don't convert people at all, not anything I was taught and not something I'd ever like to do even though I had countless folks from other denominations, even an orthodox, attempting to do such disrespectfully to me. This is another issue, however.  Religious adherence is a choice.  I don't convert folks.  I don't believe that people who do not know Jesus will go to hell.  Yes, I was horribly treated by many protestants but I do not hate them, I just wouldn't marry one because we would be horribly unyoked and it would wreak havoc on a marriage. But I do have great protestant friends.  You have misunderstood my meaning.  It wasn't an insult...but perhaps the few Jews on LHCF are feeling insulted by being told that they have been thrown to the garbage and abandoned by G-d  because they don't believe in Jesus.  SoftBlackCotton was not insulting, she is reiterating what she was taught as a new christian.  It's not really true.  It is a misunderstanding in Replacement Theology.  "Gentile" is not an insulting word but telling Jews they are shoved out is...but was inadvertent by SoftBlackCotton.   Gentiles were grated onto the vine, which is the Jews, and became as part of the people of G-d.    One family...but we don't quite know that yet seeing the way we treat one another.


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## Poohbear (Jul 5, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

I cannot really answer the question of whether or not I would date or marry someone who is "unsaved". I do not believe any woman can judge whether or not a man is saved or will be saved... not even by a man's actions because there are so many men who claim to be "saved" and they are unfaithful, dishonest, ill-tempered, etc. or wrongdoings that people believe make a person "unsaved" so-to-speak. 

But I also have a different view about salvation than most of you all here. I believe salvation is something a Christian works out with fear and trembling until the end of time. We are still living in an evil physical world and Jesus has not returned yet. Our salvation rest in the hands of Jesus Christ, not us.

mstrublvr - I pretty much agree with your posts as well.


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## MyInvisibleChyrsalis (Jul 5, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

I know for myself that I met my husband at a point in my life when he was living in the world and for the world and so was I. When I began my walk with God and He began to change me, my husband began to change as well. Sometimes honestly, I question whether my husband is truly saved or not. If you ask him, he'll tell you hes a christian. We regularly attend church and serve on the chruch staff. While I know He believes in God and has asked Jesus for slavation, his actions speak otherwise. No one but God knows for sure and I pray for him to give himself completely to the Lord.

I know my prayers and my encouragement have helped this man more than I will ever know. He grew up in a "lets play pretend Christian" home where they all said the right things and walked the walk but had a family life that was decidely opposite. His father I feel truly became saved in the later years of his life and apologized to my husband on how he was raised. Unfortunately for my husband, he spent a longtime learning how to be a Christian without having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Now in his late 20's, he is skeptical. But one thing is for sure, Where we were when we met and where we are now because of my walk with God and His blessing on our family is like night and day.

 He has truly blessed this household and my husband through prayer and obedience. My husband is not the spirtual leader of our household yet, but I trust in my God that I will see that in my lifetime. He doesn't fast, or pray like I do, or have the desire to tithe like I do, but God sent him to me and we delight ourselves in retelling our friends and family how we met, how God has brought us from glory to glory. We don't fight over these things because while he isn't there yet, he sees the God in what I do. The things it took for me to see God's faithfulness and submit to him fully will not be the things it will take for my husband because he is not me. His walk with God is unique to only him.

My husband loves his family, treats me like gold, loves and honors our children, is learning humility, and believes the word of God to be true yet he sturggles with obedience and pride like many of us.  I have seen him grow leaps and bounds by osmosis!! lol. God is changing His heart in His own way. I also believe that salvation is a lifelong journey and no one can say that they have "made it".
I honor my husband and he is head of our household because that is how we see it modeled in God's word. Are we unequally yolked? Does it count that we were both in the world when we met or does that only apply to someone who is a Christian believer before they marry? If my prayers and obedience to God help my husband heal certain areas that are preventing him from running into the arms of His heavenly father , were we ever unequally yolked to begin with? Would it be self-righteous of me to say to my future husband, you are not as far as I am in my walk with God so I cannot marry you until you are at least on my level?


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## mstrublvr (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



FlyyBohemian said:


> Still, Christ makes a difference! When a man has the fear of God in him, there is a difference in the way he will treat you. I'm not going to marry a man who does not take his relationship with God seriously. He'll question why you give so much money to church, why you spend so much time in church, why you don't drink or smoke as much, and especially why you won't sleep with him when your not married to him. Men have the upper hand most of the time and eventually you'll choose to give in or leave. The bible says "you cant serve 2 masters. You will love one and hate the other." In marriage you serve your husband. It would be a lot harder if he is not saved. The word also states "bad company corrupts good manners" and warns us to "take heed lest you fall". We are never to spiritual to fall. If we are open to marrying non-Christians then where do we draw the line? Can we marry moslems, Hindus, bhuddist, or satanist? What if your child chooses your husband's religion and not yours? Who can you blame then? I'm not saying that all men in the church are good or all men in the world are bad, but Jesus Christ should be the most important thing in any marriage. A life outside the will of God is not fulfilling.


 
I had EVERY intention of staying out of this post, but yall sure do love responding back to me lol...dang I can count at least 5 references to me since I said I hope the best for everyone, lets agree to disagree and deuces..so that being said, this is a response to you and to the others..I am not going to copy/paste all over this post.  

1st..why do you assume that people of other God-based religions are serving another master? They love God and unless God says that He does not want their love and service, who are you to say so? The bible references false gods..and btw yall are misquoting the heck out of the "two masters" verse (not to mention a few others..) The verse refers to serving something other than God - not HOW you serve God, but serving something else..aka idol, false gods, money, man, etc. Geez I hope you never encounter a God-loving alien..

2nd..I am sure it was not intentional slight, but really..muslims in the same line as satanists and hindus??? You need to learn what a muslim truly is. They are devout believers of God (who btw are being persecuted right now all over the world because of a crazy few..also sounds familiar for any Christian historian). They call Him by the Arabic word for God (remember that God has how many names??) The only real difference is the identity of the Messiah (again between them and God) and a few later prophets..who btw according to Christian biblical historians are left out due to the european/white/male dominate climate at the time the KJ version was created. Oh and Buddhism is a way of life, not a religion. The Buddha said not to worship him as a god, but to learn from him as a teacher. They believe in simplifying life and honoring what God has blessed us with..hmm sounds familiar. 

3rd...any man will question that stuff you mentioned..even a Christian man. Maybe you haven't had access to observe married Christian folks..the men still trip. Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyers crack about this all the time. Not to mention as I said repeatedly, some Christian dudes try to turn Christian women out too. Lets be real. 

4th..I do believe that Christ has made a difference in my life. I would love to marry a Christian man ideally BUT I will not limit myself based on my very human view of the world. God sees the full picture, I see what I see. Our brains are as small as sand to Him; He created the beach. I am not going to discount a good, loving, respectful, honest, God-fearing man because he hasn't done what I have done religion-wise. God sees spirit and works; we get caught up in religion and rites. God will use anything and anyone to get His message across as well as move anyone, convert anyone (PAUL, Mary Magdelene, woman at the well, prodigal son, Moses, Nicodemus..bible is kinda full of converts) when He wants. 

5th..wouldn't be a hoot if you are wrong? What if God put this amazing man of His choice before you, knowing what you need, want, desire, deserve far better than you do cause again His vision is better..you know..Omniscience...and you said no..at least if He put the Christian Idris Elba-looking dude in my life, then he is just one of the possibilities I hoped for...hmmm

Last..and final...again lets just agree to disagree...I am not going to change your mind and you are not going to change mine. I believe God is a God of wonder and possibilities. I hope and pray the best for all yall...we will all have the right mates...Inshallah. Shalom.


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## Love Always (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

mstrublvr, I just knew you wasn't coming back . But, this really stood out to me and this is where I'm at. There are many Godly men out there and they're not always in the four walls of the church, this was mentioned in Candice Waters book, "Get Married: What You Can Do To Make It Happen".

Poohbear, I agree with your post as well.



> God sees the full picture, I see what I see. Our brains are as small as sand to Him; He created the beach. *I am not going to discount a good, loving, respectful, honest, God-fearing man because he hasn't done what I have done religion-wise.* God sees spirit and works; we get caught up in religion and rites. God will use anything and anyone to get His message across as well as move anyone, convert anyone (PAUL, Mary Magdelene, woman at the well, prodigal son, Moses, Nicodemus..bible is kinda full of converts) when He wants.


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## aribell (Jul 6, 2011)

Knowing Jesus of Nazareth as Lord and Christ is everything.  No one else brings salvation, and the only way to know and serve God truly is though Him and in His name.

There are lots of nonChristians who have long happy marriages without knowing Jesus.  But the point is not simply to find happiness in this life, but to be a faithful disciple of Jesus in this life.  Everything in this world is passing away, therefore we seek something beyond the best of what this world can offer.

This question is really no different than others.  One could just as easily ask whether one really had to follow the Bible to get what you want out of life, to get ahead.  But the question is whether you love God or not, enough to embrace His Son and follow His way of doing things.

You don't miss out on anything in being obedient to Christ.  You have God's pleasure and promise of reward for doing so.  The Christian walk is one of blessing, but it also calls for yielding and sacrifice, as Jesus yielded and sacrificed.  Whether or not we are willing to do so reveals whether we are truly His.

Sent from my LS670 using LS670


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## fifi134 (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

For the record, if Muslims, Christians and Jews all believed in the same God, they wouldn't call themselves differently, nor would they have different bibles that teach different things than the other. The three *do not* believe or worship the same God.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 6, 2011)

@ Fifi





fifi134 said:


> For the record, if Muslims, Christians and Jews all believed in the same God, they wouldn't call themselves differently, nor would they have different bibles that teach different things than the other. The three *do not* believe or worship the same God.
> 
> I honestly cannot believe someone would answer this way without double checking to make sure. Come on...you messing with me right?? LMBO you are funny. No really...so Lutheran, Baptist, Anglican are not serving same God because they have different names. Really funning me LOL
> 
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## mstrublvr (Jul 6, 2011)

@ Love Always 





Love Always said:


> mstrublvr, I just knew you wasn't coming back . But, this really stood out to me and this is where I'm at. There are many Godly men out there and they're not always in the four walls of the church, this was mentioned in Candice Waters book, "Get Married: What You Can Do To Make It Happen".
> 
> Lol..I really did try. I have to check out that book.
> 
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## Guitarhero (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



fifi134 said:


> For the record, if Muslims, Christians and Jews all believed in the same God, they wouldn't call themselves differently, nor would they have different bibles that teach different things than the other. The three *do not* believe or worship the same God.




We are Abrahamic faiths...we believe in the same G-d.  However, we all have our own interpretations of the full and complete truth.  G-d remains the same.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 6, 2011)

Guitarhero said:


> We are Abrahamic faiths...we believe in the same G-d.  However, we all have our own interpretations of the full and complete truth.  G-d remains the same.



Thank you...I think she was messing with me..

Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## OhmyKimB (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Guitarhero said:


> I'm not here to argue with you.  We all should know our faith and know how to defend it.  That, however, does not constitute proselytization.  Thank G-d!!!  Ma'am, I am a loving mother of 4 wonderful beautiful, smart and well-balanced children.  I was adopted by a loving family, as was my brother.  I am also reunited with my birth family.  I know a lot of what it means to be adopted, and to have lived in foster homes at a young age.  Lots of people here understand my posts.  I don't convert people at all, not anything I was taught and not something I'd ever like to do even though I had countless folks from other denominations, even an orthodox, attempting to do such disrespectfully to me. This is another issue, however.  Religious adherence is a choice.  I don't convert folks.  I don't believe that people who do not know Jesus will go to hell.  Yes, I was horribly treated by many protestants but I do not hate them, I just wouldn't marry one because we would be horribly unyoked and it would wreak havoc on a marriage. But I do have great protestant friends.  You have misunderstood my meaning.  It wasn't an insult...but perhaps the few Jews on LHCF are feeling insulted by being told that they have been thrown to the garbage and abandoned by G-d  because they don't believe in Jesus.  SoftBlackCotton was not insulting, she is reiterating what she was taught as a new christian.  It's not really true.  It is a misunderstanding in Replacement Theology.  "Gentile" is not an insulting word but telling Jews they are shoved out is...but was inadvertent by SoftBlackCotton.   Gentiles were grated onto the vine, which is the Jews, and became as part of the people of G-d.    One family...but we don't quite know that yet seeing the way we treat one another.





...deleted...


well since u thanked my post I said I don't understand why two sentences warrant a two paragraph response.


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## fifi134 (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> I honestly cannot believe someone would answer this way without double checking to make sure. Come on...you messing with me right?? LMBO you are funny. No really...so Lutheran, Baptist, Anglican are not serving same God because they have different names. Really funning me LOL
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300



 Lutheran, Baptist and Anglican are all *Christian *denominations. Not the same argument.



Guitarhero said:


> We are Abrahamic faiths...we believe in the same G-d.  However, we all have our own interpretations of the full and complete truth.  G-d remains the same.



I'm utterly shocked that you believe we worship the same God.   I completely disagree. Christianity, Islam and Judaism may all have Abraham in common, but that does not mean Christians, Muslims and Jews worship the same God. If that were true, why do all three faiths have different views of Jesus? Christians believe Jesus is God, Muslims believe He is not, and Jews are still waiting for their messiah. How then are we all worshipping the same God?


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## aribell (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

When the Jewish leaders told Jesus that they were sons of Abraham, Jesus told them that the Lord could raise up sons of Abraham from the rocks if He so chose.  To call on the God of Abraham and yet reject His Christ gets people nowhere with the Lord.  The true descendants of Abraham will be those who come to faith in Christ.    Again, here is Jesus' response:



			
				Matthew 3:8-10 said:
			
		

> 8Bear fruit in keeping with repentance. 9And do not presume to say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father,' for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children for Abraham. 10Even now the axe is laid to the root of the trees. Every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.



But not simply good works, faith in Christ:



			
				John 8 (selected) said:
			
		

> 39 They answered him, “Abraham is our father.” Jesus said to them, “If you were Abraham's children, you would be doing the works Abraham did...42 Jesus said to them, “_*If God were your Father, you would love me*_*, for I came from God* and I am here. I came not of my own accord, but he sent me. 43 Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear my word.



Anyone who claims to know and love God must also love Jesus, whom He sent.  If someone rejects Christ, they do not know God.  Jesus said that explicitly.



			
				John 8 (selected) said:
			
		

> _It is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say, ‘He is our God.’ [3] 55 But you have not known him. I know him_...56 *Your father Abraham rejoiced that he would see my day. He saw it and was glad.”* 57 So the Jews said to him, “You are not yet fifty years old, and have you seen Abraham?” [4] 58 Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, *before Abraham was, I am.*”



I post that because there's no point in talking about the commonalities.  There's no shelter or special favor outside of Jesus.  Christ is prior to Abraham.  There's nothing to be gained and nothing proven by claiming to have an Abrahamic faith if you reject Abraham's God--Jesus.  Jesus is the ark, and everything outside of Him--"good" people, bad people, "abrahamic" religious people, non-religious people--everything outside of the ark of Christ will be washed away.  Nothing else is even worth speaking of.

"For I determined to know nothing among you save Jesus Christ and Him crucified." I Corinthians 2:2


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## mstrublvr (Jul 6, 2011)

fifi134 said:


> Lutheran, Baptist and Anglican are all *Christian *denominations. Not the same argument.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm utterly shocked that you believe we worship the same God.   I completely disagree. Christianity, Islam and Judaism may all have Abraham in common, but that does not mean Christians, Muslims and Jews worship the same God. If that were true, why do all three faiths have different views of Jesus? Christians believe Jesus is God, Muslims believe He is not, and Jews are still waiting for their messiah. How then are we all worshipping the same God?



I referenced the denominations because their divisions started at one point just like the 3 religions did.  Sooo Jesus wasn't raised a Jew? He was a pre-christian only...House of David was pre-christian but just didn't know it? Come on sister, do your homework. All God's children. Either you are as I want to believe funning us or your christian walk only started with the New Testament...which is just sad.

Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## aribell (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> I referenced the denominations because their divisions started at one point just like the 3 religions did.  Sooo Jesus wasn't raised a Jew? He was a pre-christian only...House of David was pre-christian but just didn't know it? Come on sister, do your homework. All God's children. Either you are as I want to believe funning us or your christian walk only started with the New Testament...which is just sad.
> 
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300



Picking apart one individual's posts confuses the point.  Let's broaden the discussion if it must be had.  Regardless of the starting point of any group or organization, the question is what is at its core _now_.  The unifying factor between Anglicans, Baptists, Presbyterians, etc. is precisely the dividing factor between Jews, Christians and Muslims--Jesus of Nazareth.  Those who embrace Him as God and Lord find themselves bound into one spiritual body--regardless of their external traditions.  And those who do not embrace Him as God and Lord separate themselves.    

As Jesus told the Jewish leaders, "Before Abraham was, I AM."  Before there were commandments to follow, sacrifices to make, genealogies to trace, there was Christ.  A Christian who recognizes such is not ignorant, but rather cognizant of that theological reality.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 6, 2011)

nicola.kirwan

I am not nor I think anyone else who doesn't agree with you actually debating the Word. I disagree with your interpretation.

Your dismissiveness negates the reasoning, prophets and learning of the whole 1st half of bible and Christ's lineage. From what you are saying all the ones pre Christ are just going to????..cause they didn't accept Christ? Come on..they will have a chance, just like Muslims and Jews..and anyone else who loves God. Honestly what I think is Christians kinda have a fast-pass thru the judgement round..to put it simple.

I truly hope you have a chance to travel and meet other people who love God as much as you do, but in different ways..maybe your heart will soften and be more open to them.


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## Guitarhero (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



fifi134 said:


> Lutheran, Baptist and Anglican are all *Christian *denominations. Not the same argument.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm utterly shocked that you believe we worship the same God.   I completely disagree. Christianity, Islam and Judaism may all have Abraham in common, but that does not mean Christians, Muslims and Jews worship the same God. *If that were true, why do all three faiths have different views of Jesus?* Christians believe Jesus is God, Muslims believe He is not, and Jews are still waiting for their messiah. How then are we all worshipping the same God?




Why are you shocked?  Because of culture, history and their own various prophets.  Tis why I say it's one's interpretation of the truth as they see it.  I don't know what G-d you worship, but the same one from Mt. Sinai then is the same one I worship today.  When I think of  G-d, I think of G-d.  When I think of Jesus, I see the Messiah.  Of course, there's the H-ly Spirit but they are part of the Trinity.  Sometimes, my prayers are directed specifically to the individual in the Trinity, if that makes any sense.


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## Guitarhero (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Humor:

You know that joke?  My  G-d told me this and said you're wrong.  Un huh, my  G-d told me you are wrong.  Well my G-d told me to tell your G-d to shut up.

  We all stand on the same earth.


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## aribell (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> nicola.kirwan said:
> 
> 
> > I am not nor I think anyone else who doesn't agree with you actually debating the Word. I disagree with your interpretation.
> ...


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## fifi134 (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Honestly mstrublvr, you can do all the arguing you want but the fact of the matter is that the Bible says those who do not believe in Jesus Christ and His blood-saving work on Calvary are not a Christian. That includes Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Taoists, and any other non-Christian religion out there. That is not to say that a Muslim today may not get saved tomorrow, but if they do, they will be a Muslim no more, they will be a Christian. Jesus is the core of all of this, without Him, you cannot be saved. 

We have been giving you *God's Word* throughout this thread. Our standard of living as Christians should be the Holy Bible, because:

*2 Timothy 3:16, 17:* *All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and, training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.*

Anything outside of that will lead us astray and into destruction. Any issue you have with these Bible verses we are posting you may take up with God. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, and His statutes will remain as such. I really do hope you can see that we do this not for our glory, nor to judge, but for the glory of God. He told us to preach the gospel, and we are doing so. May the Lord bless you and direct you to Him.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 6, 2011)

Maybe if you don't use others just like you only as sounding boards, you will hear something different. But again, you probably only want echo. 

Again and again, my same points are: I am open to possibilities and God is a god of possibilities. I accept that other religions love God too. I believe in the Christ. What else..thats about it for me. OH new one...people interpret scriptures different. Hmm I don't think God will have a problem with any of that.


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## fifi134 (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Guitarhero said:


> Why are you shocked?  Because of culture, history and their own various prophets.  Tis why I say it's one's interpretation of the truth as they see it.  I don't know what G-d you worship, but the same one from Mt. Sinai then is the same one I worship today.  When I think of  G-d, I think of G-d.  When I think of Jesus, I see the Messiah.  Of course, there's the H-ly Spirit but they are part of the Trinity.  Sometimes, my prayers are directed specifically to the individual in the Trinity, if that makes any sense.



I worship the God of the Holy Bible, but there is a big issue with saying that the very people who deny Jesus' deity (which is majorly essential to Christian belief) worship the same God.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 6, 2011)

Guitarhero said:


> Humor:
> 
> You know that joke?  My  G-d told me this and said you're wrong.  Un huh, my  G-d told me you are wrong.  Well my G-d told me to tell your G-d to shut up.
> 
> We all stand on the same earth.



Lol love it. I really think aliens who love God need to land or show themselves..put some real pepper in this mix.

Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## makeupgirl (Jul 6, 2011)

mstrublvr said:


> nicola.kirwan
> 
> I am not nor I think anyone else who doesn't agree with you actually debating the Word. I disagree with your interpretation.
> 
> ...



People can love God all they want to but all he ask is to acknowledge, trust, believe, and accept his son. If someone has a relationship with Christ, they have chosen to acknowledge Christ as God in the flesh, believe in the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ and has confessed that they are a sinner that needs forgiveness.   Those who existed before Christ believed just as we believe but differently because he was the prophesied coming Messiah that would take away the sins of the world. Do you know how many people knows this information and continue to reject him?  It's not above love.  That is one of the fruits of the Spirit that we as believers inherit via the Holy Spirit upon the profession of our faith. A true born again Christian knows the voice of the Father and knows that when he said not to be yoked together with unbelievers, well it's for the best that we are to listen. Amen. Blessings can be given easily but blessings can also be hindered just as easily because of disobedience and the Lord my Eternal God that I serve awards those who diligently seek him and obey his word.


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## makeupgirl (Jul 6, 2011)

fifi134 said:


> I worship the God of the Holy Bible, but there is a big issue with saying that the very people who deny Jesus' deity (which is majorly essential to Christian belief) worship the same God.



Preach it sister


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## makeupgirl (Jul 6, 2011)

mstrublvr said:


> Maybe if you don't use others just like you only as sounding boards, you will hear something different. But again, you probably only want echo.
> 
> Again and again, my same points are: I am open to possibilities and God is a god of possibilities. I accept that other religions love God too. I believe in the Christ. What else..thats about it for me. OH new one...people interpret scriptures different. Hmm I don't think God will have a problem with any of that.



Bite your tongue, yes he will. There is a verse at the end of revelation that states not to add or take away from the scriptures and he also reveals the punishment of those who do. Whether it's adding/subtracting from or twisting and misinterpreting scriptures, it's wrong and God doesn't like it.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 6, 2011)

makeupgirl said:


> Bite your tongue, yes he will. There is a verse at the end of revelation that states not to add or take away from the scriptures and he also reveals the punishment of those who do. Whether it's adding/subtracting from or twisting and misinterpreting scriptures, it's wrong and God doesn't like it.



Again funny. Please don't speak for my God. And the quote you use will damn every bible maker because that's exactly what the KJ version did and all others after it. As a matter fact, you should chuck your bible so you don't get punished too for reading a twisted word. Seriously people take it down a notch.

Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


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## OhmyKimB (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



fifi134 said:


> Lutheran, Baptist and Anglican are all *Christian *denominations. Not the same argument.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm utterly shocked that you believe we worship the same God.   I completely disagree. Christianity, Islam and Judaism may all have Abraham in common, but that does not mean Christians, Muslims and Jews worship the same God. If that were true, why do all three faiths have different views of Jesus? Christians believe Jesus is God, Muslims believe He is not, and Jews are still waiting for their messiah. How then are we all worshipping the same God?




Actually...

Judism-Abraham
Islam- Ishmael
Christianity-Abraham

all the same ppl, Ishmael would have clearly followed his father while he was with him.  So everyone has the same start. He was always supposed to contend against Issac, and that meant in all ways. Faith included.

The Jews in the bible were good for turning away from God, I mean constantly so it would logically make sense that they wouldn't believe in Jesus. Not like they listened any other time. (I'm not saying it to be mean I'm just saying it plain and in a condensed way that is not drawn out)

Islam well is Ishmael wasn't with his father wouldn't he have just answered his questions. If the Jews didn't accept Jesus I don't seem Islam doing it, they at least call him a prophet.

Either way it is the same God, however who is listening to what to do is the issue...so while I understand the point that was attempted to be made Nicole is right.


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## Poohbear (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



fifi134 said:


> Lutheran, Baptist and Anglican are all *Christian *denominations. Not the same argument.
> 
> 
> 
> I'm utterly shocked that you believe we worship the same God.   I completely disagree. Christianity, Islam and Judaism may all have Abraham in common, but that does not mean Christians, Muslims and Jews worship the same God. If that were true, why do all three faiths have different views of Jesus? Christians believe Jesus is God, Muslims believe He is not, and Jews are still waiting for their messiah. How then are we all worshipping the same God?



fifi134 - I believe the point that mstrublvr was trying to make is this...

You know how you just asked why do all three faiths (Christians, Muslims, Jews) have different views of Jesus?

Well, the point is... why do the various denominations within Christianity have different views of Jesus? (not a question to be answered, it's rhetorical, just to ponder on).

Think about it. One of the main issues is the concept of Trinity. Some Christians believe Jesus is God (Baptists). Some Christians do not believe Jesus is God (Oneness Pentecostals, Jehovah Witnesses). And that's just one hangup. 

There are more fundamental and doctrinal disagreements. That's why there's so much division within the Christian religion...Baptist, Penecostal, Methodist, Catholic, Jehovah Witness, Presbyterian, Seventh Day Adventist, Amish, and you know what's even more sad? Divisions among denominations! Just take Baptist alone...you have Southern Baptist, Anabaptist, American Baptist, etc. 

Jesus did not want this. And that's why we shouldn't get caught up in labels nor the traditional "church" system. We must solely rely on the Spirit of God.


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## OhmyKimB (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> @nicola.kirwan
> 
> I am not nor I think anyone else who doesn't agree with you actually debating the Word. I disagree with your interpretation.
> 
> ...



You know. I was with you before at least in understanding the point you are trying to make. However u seem to be missing on thing which makes me wonder do you believe in the trinity? Everyone responding is under the impression that you do, and if you don't then we can just leave u to your own devices.

Either way. No matter what man was alive at what time, in which city, talking to himself or the Lord. JESUS WAS HERE FIRST.

When there was nothing there was Jesus. When there was grass it was Jesus.

How can you only love, respect, trust, and believe in part of a person? Not possible so how to do you chose to do that to God?

Jesus was raised a Jew, however the ppl he came to save didn't even believe in him.



mstrublvr said:


> I referenced the denominations because their divisions started at one point just like the 3 religions did.  Sooo Jesus wasn't raised a Jew? He was a pre-christian only...House of David was pre-christian but just didn't know it? Come on sister, do your homework. All God's children. Either you are as I want to believe funning us or your christian walk only started with the New Testament...which is just sad.
> 
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300



This isn't meant to be sarcastic, but I'm a sarcastic person so oh well. Being as God, Jesus, and the holy spirit are one when Abraham prayed and God answered who do you think was there? You can decide that because the human version of Jesus didn't show until after Abraham that he just appeared. Remember what it is that he came for



nicola.kirwan said:


> Picking apart one individual's posts confuses the point.  Let's broaden the discussion if it must be had.  Regardless of the starting point of any group or organization, the question is what is at its core _now_.  The unifying factor between Anglicans, Baptists, Presbyterians, etc. is precisely the dividing factor between Jews, Christians and Muslims--Jesus of Nazareth.  Those who embrace Him as God and Lord find themselves bound into one spiritual body--regardless of their external traditions.  And those who do not embrace Him as God and Lord separate themselves.
> 
> As Jesus told the Jewish leaders, "*Before Abraham was, I AM*."  Before there were commandments to follow, sacrifices to make, genealogies to trace, there was Christ.  A Christian who recognizes such is not ignorant, but rather cognizant of that theological reality.


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## OhmyKimB (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> Maybe if you don't use others just like you only as sounding boards, you will hear something different. But again, you probably only want echo.
> 
> Again and again, my same points are: I am open to possibilities and God is a god of possibilities. I accept that other religions love God too. I believe in the Christ. What else..thats about it for me. OH new one...people interpret scriptures different. Hmm I don't think God will have a problem with any of that.




Differently doesn't mean right. No one said if others love God theirs or ours, the thing was if you can't love the same God I love then no. Not the version and allotment someone has made of him, but HIM the real God in full.

For example that different thing is a reason one of those nuns said in school common people weren't allowed to really have a bible or to know it. Different leads to problems and leading others astray


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## fifi134 (Jul 6, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Poohbear, I understand that. There are some denominations that according to Christian doctrine, shouldn't be there. I also agree that Jesus would not have wanted these denominations. I have no answer for that but that all that should matter are the *essentials of Christian beliefs*. If you go by that standard *alone*, that automatically eliminates Muslims, Jews, and everyone else (including some "christian" denominations) who do not believe what Christianity preaches.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 6, 2011)

@ Oh My Kim, I do believe in the Trinity, thanks for asking. I also believe in having an open mind...although that wasn't a question. Everything else as I said way back when and again to me, is labels. I will have dialogue and break bread with anyone who loves God and shows it in their humanity.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 6, 2011)

By the way...this is all pointless. Not even sure why the OP posted. Obviously, anyone open to dating someone who is not a Christian was the wrong answer to the OP. 

On that note...gonna go talk to my boo. Yall can guess on what he is...I am not telling yall nothing else lol

Deuces


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## OhmyKimB (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

^^Honestly do what u want but the road to hell is paved with good intentions

The only labels that shouldn't matter are within Christianity you will get dragged away. I know this first hand. As well I had a friend wouldn't date me for the same reason, he's Muslim and I'm Christian. No matter where things started it could never end the same...


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## OhmyKimB (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> By the way...this is all pointless. Not even sure why the OP posted. Obviously, anyone open to dating someone who is not a Christian was the wrong answer to the OP.
> 
> On that note...gonna go talk to my boo. Yall can guess on what he is...I am not telling yall nothing else lol
> 
> Deuces




How do you know she didn't want encouragement to do that which involves staying on God's path. If you get stuck place ur family in Christ is supposed to help u..unless you want to just stay where r u ...which shows theres no intention to grow....


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## mstrublvr (Jul 7, 2011)

kim Then say you want/need encouragement as opposed to posing a question that you already have your answer to. So why don't you look up who the OP is and encourage her. Problem solved.


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## makeupgirl (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> Again funny. Please don't speak for my God. And the quote you use will damn every bible maker because that's exactly what the KJ version did and all others after it. As a matter fact, you should chuck your bible so you don't get punished too for reading a twisted word. Seriously people take it down a notch.
> 
> Sent from my ADR6300 using ADR6300


 
Only thing I can do is pray for you BUT first here is my 2 cents.  You've give us yours at least you can do is to listen to mine.  

The word of God is not suppose to be compromised in any way, shape or form.  You believe what you want to believe but do not knock us who believe what thus saith the Lord. I can't speak for anyone but myself when I say, I rather receive ridicule, rejection and bull from mankind, then face God and have to tell him why I chose to stand against him.  So, my advice to you is if you don't like what is being told, don't come to a christian forum.  That's common sense right there because you're going to get expose to scripture, don't like it, not open minded to it, then don't come on the forum until you understand what the christian forums is truly all about because I just don't believe you get it.  

As harsh as it may sound but I'm tired of being told to take it down a notch for my belief.  Everyone, human, cat, fish, snake, dog alike have the right to stand for their right and beliefs.  My belief is what the Lord God Almighty has spoken in his word, from creation to salvation to the end times to the new heaven and earth.  That's what I believe.  Sorry to burst thy bubble but that is not changing anytime soon.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 7, 2011)

makeupgirl Did you even understand my response? Check your Christian history. My problem with some Christians is the same I have with some other religion's zealots...yall throw scriptures at folks, often times misinterpretating them and basically are not open to another's opinions. So much historically is done wrong in the name of religion and with a verse to back it up...I can see why after this discussion. Shameful. Some focus solely on the righteousness of Christ but none of the humanity and humility. And dare another Christian, and I am, who has a different opinion voice it...

I can see as well why some of you are not open to a non-Christian man...you can't even have a discussion with a Christian woman of a different viewpoint without questioning my religion. I never once questioned your love of God..eventhough some attitudes gave me pause and reminded me of the old saying "even the devil knows scripture..he was there when it was written and always in church." 

Yep..stick to your own kind for sure. Best advice I can give. I am in full agreement with you.


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## makeupgirl (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> @makeupgirl Did you even understand my response? Check your Christian history. My problem with some Christians is the same I have with some other religion's zealots...yall throw scriptures at folks, often times misinterpretating them and basically are not open to another's opinions. So much historically is done wrong in the name of religion and with a verse to back it up...I can see why after this discussion. Shameful. Some focus solely on the righteousness of Christ but none of the humanity and humility. And dare another Christian, and I am, who has a different opinion voice it...
> 
> I can see as well why some of you are not open to a non-Christian man...you can't even have a discussion with a Christian woman of a different viewpoint without questioning my religion. I never once questioned your love of God..eventhough some attitudes gave me pause and reminded me of the old saying "even the devil knows scripture..he was there when it was written and always in church."
> 
> Yep..*stick to your own kind *for sure. Best advice I can give. I am in full agreement with you.


 
I miss Pandora for my broadway songs... West side story. 

Anyhoo......I don't know what to tell ya at this point.  Like my mama said, can't beat a dead horse to death.  I'm just going to handle this over to the Lord and let him handle it.  

Catch ya on the flip side.


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## Guitarhero (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



fifi134 said:


> I worship the God of the Holy Bible, but there is a big issue with saying that the very people who deny Jesus' deity (which is majorly essential to Christian belief) worship the same God.




A history and theology class can cure the confusion.  Just saying.  I know what you mean, but this is a disservice to those of the Abrahamic faith who are being told they don't worshp the One True G-d.    I understand, though, from your point of view because probably you think that the only people going to heaven are those who confess Jesus as L-rd on earth.  Am I right in that assumption?  I understand your point of view.


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## Poohbear (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



fifi134 said:


> Poohbear, I understand that. There are some denominations that according to Christian doctrine, shouldn't be there. I also agree that Jesus would not have wanted these denominations. I have no answer for that but that all that should matter are the *essentials of Christian beliefs*. If you go by that standard *alone*, that automatically eliminates Muslims, Jews, and everyone else (including some "christian" denominations) who do not believe what Christianity preaches.



fifi134 - Even the *essentials of Christian beliefs* differ among Christians. With all of these different denominations, there is no standard *alone* to go by. Once you mention a belief that you believe is standard, you'll have someone of a different Christian denomination say "You're wrong. The bible says this." Then you'll be like, "No, you're wrong. The bible says that." It's like everyone picks and chooses scriptures to support their belief, standards, or what they have been taught growing up within that Christian denomination or sect. We see this all the time here in the Christian Fellowship forum. For example, Christians may believe "once saved, always saved" while others will believe Christians can "lose your salvation". Both parties have scriptures to support their notion. So who's to say which one is the standard or essential belief? Because of this, this would not eliminate other religions out of the equation when it comes to various views on God. Maybe Atheist since they do not believe in God at all.


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## fifi134 (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Guitarhero said:


> A history and theology class can cure the confusion.  Just saying.  I know what you mean, but this is a disservice to those of the Abrahamic faith who are being told they don't worshp the One True G-d.    I understand, though, from your point of view because probably you think that the only people going to heaven are those who confess Jesus as L-rd on earth.  Am I right in that assumption?  I understand your point of view.



Yes you are right in that assumption. And I believe so because the Bible says so.

 John 3:16: For God so loved the  world that he gave his one and only Son, *that whoever believes in him  shall not perish but have eternal life.*


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## fifi134 (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Poohbear said:


> @fifi134 - Even the *essentials of Christian beliefs* differ among Christians. With all of these different denominations, there is no standard *alone* to go by. Once you mention a belief that you believe is standard, you'll have someone of a different Christian denomination say "You're wrong. The bible says this." Then you'll be like, "No, you're wrong. The bible says that." It's like everyone picks and chooses scriptures to support their belief, standards, or what they have been taught growing up within that Christian denomination or sect. We see this all the time here in the Christian Fellowship forum. For example, Christians may believe "once saved, always saved" while others will believe Christians can "lose your salvation". Both parties have scriptures to support their notion. So who's to say which one is the standard or essential belief? Because of this, this would not eliminate other religions out of the equation when it comes to various views on God. Maybe Atheist since they do not believe in God at all.



The essentials are things no denominations should disagree on. For example, the Triune God, salvation by grace alone, justification by faith alone, Jesus being the only Way to the Father, etc. etc. All of this is in the Bible. It is biblical theology, so there should be no disagreements about that. There should be no question of what you "believe" is the standard, the standard is what is written in the Bible. If denominations have issues with what the Bible is preaching on such essentials, I would question their beliefs.

Using your example, how would there be conficting views on the permanence of a believer's salvation? That would mean there are contradictions, but we know the Bible has no contradictions; whatever He has said, is true.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



fifi134 said:


> we know the Bible has no contradictions; whatever He has said, is true.


 
I say this with the utmost respect to your beliefs..please take a religion class. The bible was pieced together and had many different writers over thousands of years. It was taken from verbal stories, to written stories, translated from dead languages..to arabic, hebrew, greek, latin..debated, discussed, reviewed, tweaked. The church during the KJV times didnt have the highest views of women so conveniently left out some books about female prophets..where's the book of Enoch..I mean truly. In all due respect to a fellow Christian - take a religion class. 

Thats all I have to say. Ok back to my spectator seat..


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## Poohbear (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



fifi134 said:


> The essentials are things no denominations should disagree on. For example, the Triune God, salvation by grace alone, justification by faith alone, Jesus being the only Way to the Father, etc. etc. All of this is in the Bible. It is biblical theology, so there should be no disagreements about that. There should be no question of what you "believe" is the standard, the standard is what is written in the Bible. If denominations have issues with what the Bible is preaching on such essentials, I would question their beliefs.
> 
> Using your example, how would there be conficting views on the permanence of a believer's salvation? That would mean there are contradictions, but we know the Bible has no contradictions; whatever He has said, is true.



There is disagreements among Christians on those "essential" things you listed. And Christians can point bible verses to prove it. I'm assuming you have not met alot of different people with different views on fundamental Christian beliefs. That's okay. Not sure how old you are but once you start meeting more people, whether it's in the world or online, you'll see what I'm talking about.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Poohbear said:


> There is disagreements among Christians on those "essential" things you listed. And Christians can point bible verses to prove it. I'm assuming you have not met alot of different people with different views on fundamental Christian beliefs. That's okay. Not sure how old you are but once you start meeting more people, whether it's in the world or online, you'll see what I'm talking about.


 
Yep, I was reading through one going on now in this forum re Catholicism.  Good thread..the fighting is down to a minimum and they are really having class over there. Learned quite a bit about them that I didnt know.


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## fifi134 (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Poohbear said:


> There is disagreements among Christians on those "essential" things you listed. And Christians can point bible verses to prove it. I'm assuming you have not met alot of different people with different views on fundamental Christian beliefs. That's okay. Not sure how old you are but once you start meeting more people, whether it's in the world or online, you'll see what I'm talking about.



Can you provide some examples of such denominations then? With the bible verses they point to?


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## makeupgirl (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> I say this with the utmost respect to your beliefs..please take a religion class. The bible was pieced together and had many different writers over thousands of years. It was taken from verbal stories, to written stories, translated from dead languages..to arabic, hebrew, greek, latin..debated, discussed, reviewed, tweaked. The church during the KJV times didnt have the highest views of women so conveniently left out some books about female prophets..where's the book of Enoch..I mean truly. In all due respect to a fellow Christian - take a religion class.
> 
> Thats all I have to say. Ok back to my spectator seat..


 
This is actually a good idea.  I've actually taken a religion class (well it was part philosophy as well) but it did offer a lot of info to the different religions out there, even to the religions I've never heard of but my professor focus more on the philosophy part than the religion part.  I didn't have a choice since it was apart of my curriculum (my major is business) 

I might actually look into this.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



makeupgirl said:


> This is actually a good idea. I've actually taken a religion class (well it was part philosophy as well) but it did offer a lot of info to the different religions out there, even to the religions I've never heard of but my professor focus more on the philosophy part than the religion part. I didn't have a choice since it was apart of my curriculum (my major is business)
> 
> I might actually look into this.


 
I highly recommend it. I learned the difference between a Sikh and Hindu..that was actually my professor's intro..he said we will never look at those two the same again lol he was right.  I found out what Scientology is actually about...Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism...Sunni vs Shiite Muslim..It was pretty interesting.  You will get some history and world geography thrown in too, because alot of religions are affected by the cultural climate at the time.


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## aribell (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Ladies, a religion class will allow you to pick up some pieces of information that may _or may not_ add value to your faith and understanding. As one who has constantly taken religion classes--Christian _and otherwise_--from age five through 22, I can say full well that Chistian orthodoxy as it has been passed down since the apostles is intellectually and historically sound. Many people like to play on the _assumed _ignorance of Christian believers to prove a point. But as the saying goes, "A little learning is a dangerous thing..." 

Remember that just as there are scholars and skeptics sitting back throwing darts at your faith because they are claiming to know more, there are equally qualified and learned scholars backing your beliefs and supporting what you have known and been taught is the truth.


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## makeupgirl (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> I highly recommend it. I learned the difference between a Sikh and Hindu..that was actually my professor's intro..he said we will never look at those two the same again lol he was right. I found out what Scientology is actually about...Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism...Sunni vs Shiite Muslim..It was pretty interesting. You will get some history and world geography thrown in too, because alot of religions are affected by the cultural climate at the time.


 
Sounds interesting...I'm a nerd anyway  I'll wait until my degree is finished then I'll add this to my outside my major list of classes to take. 

It's filling up too:

Fashion Design
Fashion Marketing
Cooking 101
Baking
Ballet
Auto repair
Karate
Swimming
Now Religion.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

makeupgirl..I truly hope you ignore anyone wishing to keep you from attaining more knowledge.  Anyone who recommends not learning is a scary person.  I truly hope you decide to take a religion class. Its purely academic and it will no way diminish your faith.  Faith is faith. I have a better understanding of different people because of what I learned.  It broadened my humanity.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



makeupgirl said:


> Sounds interesting...I'm a nerd anyway  I'll wait until my degree is finished then I'll add this to my outside my major list of classes to take.
> 
> It's filling up too:
> 
> ...


 
Oh wow Auto repair?? I always wanted to learn the basics myself too.  I didnt even think of it til you listed it.  I will have to look into adding it.  I can swim, but learning to do it right would be good too.  I will have to check what my school offers too.


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## makeupgirl (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> @makeupgirl..I truly hope you ignore anyone wishing to keep you from attaining more knowledge. Anyone who recommends not learning is a scary person. I truly hope you decide to take a religion class. Its purely academic and it will no way diminish your faith. Faith is faith. I have a better understanding of different people because of what I learned. It broadened my humanity.


 
lol...I just love learning.  I'm picky about what I take class wise, when it's not part of my major courses but I was going to plan on taking another religion class anyway.  Plus, I'm always researching anything.  I like the challenge of learning and obtaining.  My granddad was a stickler on sharpening the mind and memory well into old age.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



makeupgirl said:


> lol...I just love learning. I'm picky about what I take class wise, when it's not part of my major courses but I was going to plan on taking another religion class anyway. Plus, I'm always researching anything. I like the challenge of learning and obtaining. My granddad was a stickler on sharpening the mind and memory well into old age.


 
Same here..nerd alert   My mom was the same.  She would tell me time and again how she was denied education as a child, so she would feed her mind on regularly as an adult. She took one class every semester up until she passed.


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## makeupgirl (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> Oh wow Auto repair?? I always wanted to learn the basics myself too. I didnt even think of it til you listed it. I will have to look into adding it. I can swim, but learning to do it right would be good too. I will have to check what my school offers too.


 
Well, I know how to swim because I got tired of staying by myself in the shallow end but I want to actually master the different strokes.  Auto repair because I want to make sure that when I hear a noise I can stop freaking out and also to know if my car really needs like a particular repair.  The last time I got my car inspected (it's required in VA), I went to the dealership and the mechanic told me I needed about over $500 worth of repairs done that I found out that I didn't need, so I just wanted to learn for myself.  It's definitely good for each woman to learn this for herself.


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## makeupgirl (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> Same here..nerd alert  My mom was the same. She would tell me time and again how she was denied education as a child, so she would feed her mind on regularly as an adult. She took one class every semester up until she passed.


 
wow...I can't believe they denied her education. But I'm glad she was able to. Very inspirational. 

Well, Ladies....I have to get back to work.  Please pray that I will stay alert and awake.  I'm actually drinking a coke to stay awake.  I hope my sugar is ok.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



makeupgirl said:


> Well, I know how to swim because I got tired of staying by myself in the shallow end but I want to actually master the different strokes. Auto repair because I want to make sure that when I hear a noise I can stop freaking out and also to know if my car really needs like a particular repair. The last time I got my car inspected (it's required in VA), I went to the dealership and the mechanic told me I needed about over $500 worth of repairs done that I found out that I didn't need, so I just wanted to learn for myself. It's definitely good for each woman to learn this for herself.


 
Those are my reasons too.  I can swim, but I cannot do the butterfly or backstroke,etc. and I bet you will learn CPR and/or water rescue.  Car issues..mechanics know that most women do not know.  I usually have a guy take my car to the mechanic for me.  Thanks for the idea...I am definitely looking into it.


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## mstrublvr (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



makeupgirl said:


> wow...I can't believe they denied her education. But I'm glad she was able to. Very inspirational.
> .


 

40s in Mississippi for a black child was hellish.  

It was great chatting with you. Good luck on staying awake!


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## makeupgirl (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



mstrublvr said:


> 40s in Mississippi for a black child was hellish.
> 
> It was great chatting with you. Good luck on staying awake!


 
Nice chatting with you too


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## Nice & Wavy (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

It all boils down to this:

_"As for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and  you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as *His anointing teaches  you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has  taught you, you abide in Him*." _ 
1 John 2:27

If you have a humble and right relationship with the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob...the Great I AM, and the Holy Spirit lives in you and can teach you everything you need to know to live a Godly and Holy life before the Father, why go and look any further for answers?  You are only looking for trouble within your soul....and what the devil wants is for you to be separate from God!  He doesn't care that you know much scripture, go to church every Sunday and take up for social issues on the internet...his only goal is for you to lose your soul.

_"You foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you, before whose eyes Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified?"  _Galatians 3:1

That is, foolish for having yielded to the influence of the false  teachers, and for having embraced doctrines that tended to subvert the  gospel of the Redeemer.  The particular thing to which Paul refers here is that they were *so easily led astray by the arguments of the false teachers*. 

THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL teach you everything....look here:

_"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name,  *He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I  said to you*._"  John 14:26

He shall teach you all things - If in the things which He have already  spoken to you, there appear to you any obscurity...the Holy Spirit, the  Advocate, Counsellor, and Instructor, will take away all your doubts,  free you from all embarrassment, and give you a perfect understanding in  all things.  Why are you looking elsewhere for answers when He's right there with you, ready to tell you everything you need to know and lead you on the right path?

We must get to the point where we are SOLD OUT FOR JESUS!  Nothing else will do, people...so get it right, don't get it twisted!

May those that truly know HIM keep their eyes upon HIM for whom they have to do!

N&W


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## OhmyKimB (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



fifi134 said:


> Can you provide some examples of such denominations then? With the bible verses they point to?



Just google Calvinism. Then from there you will see how each differs. That's the simplest way...


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## OhmyKimB (Jul 7, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Nice & Wavy said:


> It all boils down to this:
> 
> _"As for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and  you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as *His anointing teaches  you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has  taught you, you abide in Him*." _
> 1 John 2:27
> ...



Because Thanks isn't enough


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## FlyyBohemian (Jul 8, 2011)

Msmchy said:


> I know for myself that I met my husband at a point in my life when he was living in the world and for the world and so was I. When I began my walk with God and He began to change me, my husband began to change as well. Sometimes honestly, I question whether my husband is truly saved or not. If you ask him, he'll tell you hes a christian. We regularly attend church and serve on the chruch staff. While I know He believes in God and has asked Jesus for slavation, his actions speak otherwise. No one but God knows for sure and I pray for him to give himself completely to the Lord.
> 
> I know my prayers and my encouragement have helped this man more than I will ever know. He grew up in a "lets play pretend Christian" home where they all said the right things and walked the walk but had a family life that was decidely opposite. His father I feel truly became saved in the later years of his life and apologized to my husband on how he was raised. Unfortunately for my husband, he spent a longtime learning how to be a Christian without having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Now in his late 20's, he is skeptical. But one thing is for sure, Where we were when we met and where we are now because of my walk with God and His blessing on our family is like night and day.
> 
> ...



It's different if both of you were unsaved before marriage. I see you as blessed.


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## CoilyFields (Jul 11, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Wow...so much going on here!

To answer the OP. NOPE. I would not date or marry someone that is not saved. Why?
The Bible says not to...very clearly...Im not sure how this can even be misinterpreted. And so far in this thread I have not seen different interpretations of it, just people ignoring it all together (or discrediting the Bible). 

The Bible says for the husband to love the wife as Christ loved the church...if he's not saved then how can he even pattern his life to attempt this? And how hard is it to submit to a husband who does not even seek God to lead him? 

You must also use spiritual discernment following the HOly Spirit in its ability to help you make wise choices for other saved folks. If the saved person only goes to church on Christmas and Easter and you're in church 3 times a week, on committees and auxilaries, paying your tithes etc...ya might not be a good match even though you're both saved.  


As for us worshiping the same God...if you belive that Jesus is the messiah, son of God, one with God then it is very _likely_ that we worship the same God. 

If you do not believe Jesus is God...we dont worship the same God. (Muslim, Jews-not including Jews for Jesus lol etc.)

If you believe Jesus and Satan were brothers and that God used to be human...we do not worship the same God (Mormons).
And there are plenty more...

Note:  The Bible speaks of one world religion in the end-times and this is strikingly close to that prediction. Saying that as long as you believe in a "higher power" or God, then you're right is the anti-thesis of Christianity. Or that we all believe in the same God, or that there is more than one way to God is exactly what Revelations talks about. Dont believe the hype.

(Oh and if you wanna know about how Abraham and 'nem were saved even though they hadnt seen the messiah, read Hebrews).


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## crwnandglory (Jul 18, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

How can we talk about whether or not we should marry an unsaved individual when we have such bickering and tension in this thread?   

1 Peter 3 encourages women to live a good life full of the fruits of the spirit... to live blamelessly in front of our husbands.  Reading over the last posts and seeing all of the bickering reminds me that at the end of the day saved women/men must conduct themselves properly you never know who you may be turning away from Christ...it could be your future husband.  You know the one you dare not marry because he is unsaved?   Well your attitude, behavior, speech, heart may be the very thing to keep him unsaved or to bring him into the family.  

We are suppose to be the light of the earth... reflecting His Glory!


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## CoilyFields (Jul 19, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



crwnandglory said:


> How can we talk about whether or not we should marry an unsaved individual when we have such bickering and tension in this thread?
> 
> 1 Peter 3 encourages women to live a good life full of the fruits of the spirit... to live blamelessly in front of our husbands. Reading over the last posts and seeing all of the bickering reminds me that at the end of the day saved women/men must conduct themselves properly you never know who you may be turning away from Christ...it could be your future husband. *You know the one you dare not marry because he is unsaved?* Well your attitude, behavior, speech, heart may be the very thing to keep him unsaved or to bring him into the family.
> 
> We are suppose to be the light of the earth... reflecting His Glory!


 
crwnandglory
Just a little confused sis. Are you saying that its ok to marry an unsaved person because through your conduct you may help lead them to Christ?


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## Shimmie (Jul 19, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

makeupgirl and mstrublvr

These two made a wonderful example of how two can disagree and yet end up making wonderful amends.   

They stepped outside of their disagreement and found an understanding and common ground with each other; even sharing humour in their conversation, ended not only in peace, but sincerely wishing each other well.   

Humans, Christian or non, are not going to always agree and *I admit *that an unattractive display of disagreement is just that... it's unattractive.   No one wants to be 'seen' in that 'light' by someone they care for or would want to care for them.    

I like the way the two ladies above brought peace into their exchange of views.   The heart of God took over and they welcomed Him.   

Thank you -- makeupgirl and mstrublvr  :Rose:


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## Shimmie (Jul 19, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



crwnandglory said:


> How can we talk about whether or not we should marry an unsaved individual when we have such bickering and tension in this thread?
> 
> 1 Peter 3 encourages women to live a good life full of the fruits of the spirit... to live blamelessly in front of our husbands.  Reading over the last posts and seeing all of the bickering reminds me that at the end of the day saved women/men must conduct themselves properly you never know who you may be turning away from Christ...it could be your future husband.  You know the one you dare not marry because he is unsaved?   Well your attitude, behavior, speech, heart may be the very thing to keep him unsaved or to bring him into the family.
> 
> We are suppose to be the light of the earth... reflecting His Glory!



crwnandglory ...  You've made a very good point that I am taking 'heed' to.    I have to remember that my posts are not 'private' emails; others see what I 'say'.


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## Guitarhero (Jul 19, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



CoilyFields said:


> crwnandglory
> Just a little confused sis. Are you saying that its ok to marry an unsaved person because through your conduct you may help lead them to Christ?




I think that's something that was brought up a few months ago either here or elsewhere...??  If you're already married to a non-believer/righteous person, your behavior can lead them to a deep relationship with the Father...but I don't think scripture advocates joining into such a relationship if you are already one.  Where's that scripture?  LOL.


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## Crown (Jul 20, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Sorry, if someone has already said this (I did not read all the posts).


Difficult to say who is saved and who is unsaved.
A seems to be saved person can be or become very evil.
An unsaved person can be a saved one tomorrow or in a few years.

Maybe it’s better to say : will you date/marry a non Christian ?


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## Crown (Jul 20, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Marriage means two becoming one and walking together in *all* areas (the most important : spiritual included), right?

The Christian husband is called to be spiritually the priest and prophet of his family, an image of Christ, right?

Amos 3:3 is the question to have an answer at your question :

Amos 3.3 *Can two walk together, except they be agreed?*


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## Crown (Jul 20, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Forget to add :

I could accept the first steps of a courtship (  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y77b9mUxpVA ) with a non Christian.
(who knows if it's not the way that God has planned for him?).

I would invite him in assembly and Bible studies.

But I would not engage and marry him till he is baptized and walking in the faith.
If you believe that I am THE one for you, then Christ is THE one for you, because I am sold to HIM.

I know a SDA who did this : they are now a lovely family.
_I mean she had a debut of courtship with a non Christian - non SDA. But she married him as a SDA, baptized and involved in church._


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## crwnandglory (Jul 20, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



CoilyFields said:


> @crwnandglory
> Just a little confused sis. Are you saying that its ok to marry an unsaved person because through your conduct you may help lead them to Christ?


 

Sorry for the confusion, I don't believe in missionary dating.   I'm all for exposing men to Jesus but I'm not a fan of my sisters in Christ going out and dating men with the mission of converting him.

My whole point was that we should be careful of our words and actions.  The bible tells us to not place a stumbling in our brother's/sister's way.  Our words, actions, judgments can be those stumbling blocks.  Not to be too critical but in this thread I read unsaved men being referred to as heathens, I read that they will cause us to sin, etc.  I just thought to myself "were we not all born in need of salvation?"  Surely we all know that receiving salvation does not immediately turn you into a righteous person.  So we should be careful to not paint unsaved individuals as "bad" and saved individuals as "good."  If we can speak so sternly about unsaved people on the internet, how do we act when we meet an unsaved man?  I know women who frown their faces, argue with the man about their views or arrogantly quote a scripture to make it sound like he isn't good enough .

While it's great to stand on God's principles we should also remember that we were once unsaved...your future husbands will have at one point been unsaved so we should just make it a practice to "sprinkle salt" on our conversations, you never know who may turn salvation down because of the words or actions of another.  You never know who is reading this thread and thinking "If this is how Christian women act then I'd rather not join the kingdom."


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## Chrissmiss (Jul 25, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

I would never do this. If a man does not first love God then there is no way he could never love me like God intended. Why would I settle for less than what God has for me?


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## lilanie (Aug 25, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Not if it is not God's will.


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## gn1g (Aug 25, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

No the bible says it is not good for man to be alone.  *Be equally yoked.*

You are alone if you are not equally yoked.  if he is going in any other direction other than the christian walk than you will eventually be miserable and frustrated  cause Y?

The bible says how can two walk together except they agree.


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## Babi (Aug 25, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

What about this scenario?
       When a man says that he is Christian, yet he does not understand my path to obey the scriptures and not fornicate or be celibate.
    This post is right on the ball with the issues that I have been dealing with. I recently broke up with the guy I was dating because he feels resentment towards me because I chose to no longer fornicate. Ladies, I used to have sex during the first few months of the relationship. I felt that God understood that I loved this man and that we spoke of marriage and that I planned to marry. As you can see, I was battling the flesh and spirit, and the spirit was winning. Everything in my heart felt wrong. The holy spirit tugged at me and finally after a series of turmoil within and around me I prayed for the strength to begin anew and totally repent. I said I will no longer have sex. I will ask Gd for forgiveness, and I know in my heart that I want to do right with Christ. 

   Of course,  I affected him, the boyfriend. He was perturbed. He said that I switched it up on him. I told him how before, although I used to reason with my heart and how I love  him, that I have come to realize that regardless of our desire to marry and our love, we are still sinning according to the bible. I shared on how I want to repent and live totally in christ and that means sacrifice and wait till marriage.  One would think, as a Christian man, I would have gotten support? NO WAY!!! He got real upset and said that the bible was written by man over thousands of years and that my choosing to abstain is selfish. He also says something similar to what one of the ladies said on here. " he believes in God and loves God and  feels that everything he does, he does it in him ( GOD). He justifies lust because he says that he is making love to me and not lusting after random women in the streets. He says that he is right with "his" God  and I am the one that decided to switch things up.   He was so upset. even told me that I was a hypocrite for doing it then.  All of these things hurt of course.   All the more as to why we broke up. 

 I believe he is picking and choosing based on what is pleasurable as opposed to obeying what the word blatantly says.  I tell him how I wish he was close enough to God, to be able to join me on this journey, but I he gets extremely angry in response and tells me that I am judging him and saying that he isn't close to God  and that he cant stand the Christians that sit there and judge.   I don't come close to judging the man at all! I am the least qualified to judge.  He gets very defensive. We have been through so much arguments ever since I decided to better my walk with christ; hence why we are broken up. 
  Am I wrong for letting go of a "Christian" man that says that I am being selfish when I tell him that I want to repent, no longer fornicate and better my relationship with God.  How do you ladies deal with celibacy? Do you find yourself compromising? Can I even salvage this relationship? Should I break this chain even though he seems to really care?


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## Shimmie (Aug 25, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Babi said:


> What about this scenario?
> When a man says that he is Christian, yet he does not understand my path to obey the scriptures and not fornicate or be celibate.
> This post is right on the ball with the issues that I have been dealing with. I recently broke up with the guy I was dating because he feels resentment towards me because I chose to no longer fornicate. Ladies, I used to have sex during the first few months of the relationship. I felt that God understood that I loved this man and that we spoke of marriage and that I planned to marry. As you can see, I was battling the flesh and spirit, and the spirit was winning. Everything in my heart felt wrong. The holy spirit tugged at me and finally after a series of turmoil within and around me I prayed for the strength to begin anew and totally repent. I said I will no longer have sex. I will ask Gd for forgiveness, and I know in my heart that I want to do right with Christ.
> 
> ...



Babi

   :welcome3:   

Every once in a while, God looks down from Heaven and His heart warms up 10,000 times more than the moment before...a soft smile comes across His face, He wipes a tear...a tear of joy, a tear of pride.  Pride in one of His daughters.

Babi... it was you.  It was you who made God smile.  And for doing so, He has promised the following:

_
Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel,  will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields--and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life.    (Mark 10:29-30)_

Because of the intimacy that was shared between you and your friend, the anger is only natural from him.  He loved having sex with you and to have it stopped doesn't sit well with him.  He's having a tantrum as he did as a little boy when he wanted a 'cookie' before dinner and his mommy said no.   

However, you deserve better.    No wed, no bed, no contract, no contact. 

Let God bring him to understanding and repentance.  If he's meant to be your husband, God will tell both of you.   In the meantime, don't give away your virtue as it may belong to someone other than him.   You don't want to 're-gift' your virtue to your 'real husband'.  Neither do you want your 'real' husband to be, re-gifting himself to you.   You don't want him having sex with any woman other than you; you want him to save hisself for you.  Whoever your 'real husband is, both of you deserve to have each other brand new.

Now simply enjoy making God your father smile.   He's so pleased with you.


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## MonPetite (Aug 26, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Babi said:


> What about this scenario?
> When a man says that he is Christian, yet he does not understand my path to obey the scriptures and not fornicate or be celibate.
> This post is right on the ball with the issues that I have been dealing with. I recently broke up with the guy I was dating because he feels resentment towards me because I chose to no longer fornicate. Ladies, I used to have sex during the first few months of the relationship. I felt that God understood that I loved this man and that we spoke of marriage and that I planned to marry. As you can see, I was battling the flesh and spirit, and the spirit was winning. Everything in my heart felt wrong. The holy spirit tugged at me and finally after a series of turmoil within and around me I prayed for the strength to begin anew and totally repent. I said I will no longer have sex. I will ask Gd for forgiveness, and I know in my heart that I want to do right with Christ.
> 
> ...



I ended my engagement four weeks ago because the man I was almost going to walk down the aisle with revealed some anger at the church and blasphemous beliefs that had yet to come to the surface. 

He knew better than to try to tempt me out of my virginity, but he assumed he could dictate how I love and serve God and that he should come before God --post marriage.

Very unwise on his part, which he now knows.

I know it's difficult. I had wedding bells ringing and his family was chomping at the bit to make it happen...and to all of that, I had to say no for a god I can't see, touch, or hear.

It's not a small thing you are considering --but, it is a battle in your heart because you love the Lord. Don't shy from it and don't let the enemy try to use it to make you feel guilty.

I pray that the Lord gives you the peace, clarity, foresight, courage, and quiet strength to pursue Him --no matter what. Amen.

As for celibacy, I'm a 24 year old virgin (in all aspects ) and I want to say it is hard, can feel cruel, and difficult. Many people don't want to admit that and I think it's unfair for the unmarried to get this vague "it's only hard for you if you're bad or immature spiritually" sort of message because of the silence that is prevelant on this issue. It's not enough to say: STAY CELIBATE.

Like the issue of sex itself, the church needs to do a better job of aiding us in pursuing/navigating it.

*Celibacy is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It is an act of COURAGE AND LOVE toward yourself.*

I couldn't have walked away with such peace and not missed a beat from my former love if we had been "intimate". 

I would have done it...but at great cost to my heart, schooling, family, and peace of mind.* 

It is WORTH IT and your desire to not fornicate is an act of LOVE for yourself.* Don't let society, other "Christians" or the Enemy tell you anything to the contrary!

There's no one way for one to be celibate (we're all different with different "triggers"), but be sure to stay engaged --burn of extra energy with exercise, by challenged intellectually, steer clear of movies and music exposing sex or showing the "fruits" of it, do something that allows you to express all of your gifts for God to their fullest.

It won't erase that desire, but will better allow you to keep it in _perspective_ and not let it overwhelm you --emotionally or physically.

You are blessed and loved by God, go forward in grace and courage!


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Aug 26, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

@Babi and LittleGoldenLamb

Thank you both for your testimonies, I just want to remind you that God honours your sacrifice... 

I pray that HE will give you both strength for this journey, and bless you both with men after HIS heart so that they can love you as HE loves the church...


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Aug 26, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

veering just a little off topic....'dating' I'm not all together sure that I like that word for 'christian' use, dating sounds like what the world does...

I can't get it out of my mind that dating can mean seeing more than one person at the same time; as if you are 'trying' the man/woman out to see if he/she is the right one, and christians should not be doing that imo ....


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Aug 26, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

now to answer the question;

No, the bible says that we should not be unequally yoked with a nonbeliever ...now this scripture may seem to some as 'over' used but it IS the word of God that we should standy by...


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## Babi (Aug 26, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

@ Shimmie
    Thank you for such a warm welcome. That really made my day. I really do have strength in knowing that God approves.

LittleGoldenLamb and @ Iwanthealthyhair67 and Shimmie : your words are encouraging and I am so happy to have found this Christian Fellowship group. We cannot do it alone, and it is in fellowship and sisterhood that we can glorify God's name and continue to aide each other in understanding and obeying his word. I have been browsing LHCF for a long time now, but it isn't till just recently that I came across the Christian Fellowship group through my droid phone. I finally subscribed to LHCF because I wanted to engage in your wonderful Christian topics. Thanks ladies.


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Aug 26, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

Babi 

I welcome you also...I see you were on lurk mode just like me

grace and peace to you...



Babi said:


> @ Shimmie
> Thank you for such a warm welcome. That really made my day. I really do have strength in knowing that God approves.
> 
> @LittleGoldenLamb and @ Iwanthealthyhair67 and Shimmie : your words are encouraging and I am so happy to have found this Christian Fellowship group. We cannot do it alone, and it is in fellowship and sisterhood that we can glorify God's name and continue to aide each other in understanding and obeying his word. I have been browsing LHCF for a long time now, but it isn't till just recently that I came across the Christian Fellowship group through my droid phone. I finally subscribed to LHCF because I wanted to engage in your wonderful Christian topics. Thanks ladies.


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## Mis007 (Aug 26, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

I did have an unsaved husband needless to say it just wasn't meant to be,  I don't think I could go through sitting at Sunday services in church, in tears, worrying about my husband's salvation all over again .


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## MonPetite (Aug 26, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Babi said:


> @ Shimmie
> Thank you for such a warm welcome. That really made my day. I really do have strength in knowing that God approves.
> 
> @LittleGoldenLamb and @ Iwanthealthyhair67 and Shimmie : your words are encouraging and I am so happy to have found this Christian Fellowship group. We cannot do it alone, and it is in fellowship and sisterhood that we can glorify God's name and continue to aide each other in understanding and obeying his word. I have been browsing LHCF for a long time now, but it isn't till just recently that I came across the Christian Fellowship group through my droid phone. I finally subscribed to LHCF because I wanted to engage in your wonderful Christian topics. Thanks ladies.



Anytime! We're not perfect, but a journey never feels as long as it should when you're walking with friends.


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## Babi (Aug 26, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

[email protected] lurk mode! I sho nuff was!



Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> veering just a little off topic....'dating' I'm not all together sure that I like that word for 'christian' use, dating sounds like what the world does...
> 
> I can't get it out of my mind that dating can mean seeing more than one person at the same time; as if you are 'trying' the man/woman out to see if he/she is the right one, and christians should not be doing that imo ....




I understand what you mean. I used to date like how the world does and that was  a disaster  as I mentioned before.  I learned from it and know  better now. We as Christians should date differently though, even though we call it the same. Its less hectic and more honorable to God if we first become friends with the man ( no physicality.. get to know him.. interview-like) then fiancee or courting, then marriage. right?But what other word can we use?


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## MissNina (Aug 26, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> veering just a little off topic....'dating' I'm not all together sure that I like that word for 'christian' use, dating sounds like what the world does...
> 
> *can't get it out of my mind that dating can mean seeing more than one person at the same time; as if you are 'trying' the man/woman out to see if he/she is the right one, and christians should not be doing that imo *....



Iwanthealthyhair67 hi! Why dont you feel that Christians should not be doing that?

To answer the OQ, i couldnt date/marry someone unsaved by the Biblical definition. We each have our own set of "rules" or ideas of what fits being saved means outside of a Biblical concept, though.


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Babi said:


> [email protected] lurk mode! I sho nuff was!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



"_Actively_ Discerning" ...


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> Babi
> 
> I welcome you also...I see you were on lurk mode just like me
> 
> grace and peace to you...





Babi said:


> [email protected] lurk mode! I sho nuff was!



Awwww...   

Two new sisters in Jesus...   

:welcome3:

Love and blessings to you both.


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## divya (Aug 29, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

I would like to marry a Christian - a true Christian. Right now though, I am tired of the "Christian" men who just don't know how to treat people. The core of Christianity is to love God and your fellowman. I am in no way perfect or a model Christian but Lord knows I do my best to be kind to others. 

It's been a battle for me spiritually lately because of "Christian" men who are just cold, controlling and selfish.  After seemingly doing things according to Christian counsel (courtship guidelines) and things fall apart, it makes me so upset. Lord knows I am struggling with my Christianity. So who I am to judge who is saved/unsaved? If I do marry, my hope is just for a man who wants to be a Christian in his heart.


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## FlyyBohemian (Aug 29, 2011)

divya said:


> I would like to marry a Christian - a true Christian. Right now though, I am tired of the "Christian" men who just don't know how to treat people. The core of Christianity is to love God and your fellowman. I am in no way perfect or a model Christian but Lord knows I do my best to be kind to others.
> 
> It's been a battle for me spiritually lately because of "Christian" men who are just cold, controlling and selfish.  After seemingly doing things according to Christian counsel (courtship guidelines) and things fall apart, it makes me so upset. Lord knows I am struggling with my Christianity. So who I am to judge who is saved/unsaved? If I do marry, my hope is just for a man who wants to be a Christian in his heart.



I'm in the same situation. I know I should marry a Christian man but I've been burned by a few of them. Hopefully, God will send me one that thinks like me.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Aug 29, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

MissNina
As Christians we are called out from the world to be separate and different, we should not be doing things in the same old ways that we did before we were saved which includes ‘dating’ and this is why I don’t like the word dating because in my opinion it has the same connotations, I prefer the word ‘courting’ but that’s a matter of personal choice…

With no disrespect to the posters that came in and shared their experiences, if you read through some of the comments you would have noticed lots of similarities to experiences that we once had while we were in the world…because there are no clear guidelines or rules in place we tend to fall into some of the same traps of the ‘dating’ world and end up getting married and divorced same as the world does and for the same reasons…


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## divya (Aug 29, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> MissNina
> As Christians we are called out from the world to be separate and different, we should not be doing things in the same old ways that we did before we were saved which includes ‘dating’ and this is why I don’t like the word dating because in my opinion it has the same connotations, I prefer the word ‘courting’ but that’s a matter of personal choice…
> 
> With no disrespect to the posters that came in and shared their experiences, if you read through some of the comments you would have noticed lots of similarities to experiences that we once had while we were in the world…because there are no clear guidelines or rules in place we tend to fall into some of the same traps of the ‘dating’ world and end up getting married and divorced same as the world does and for the same reasons…



Well as someone who far along in the "courtship" process and got burned in it, sometimes I'm not too sure about that either. I'm more inclined to feel that when people's hearts are truly sincere, things will work out. But maybe the Lord has much more work to do on me...


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Aug 29, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

^^may I ask your experience, why do think it didn't work...


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## Laela (Aug 29, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

I can agree with this and understand what you mean...it's all semantics. This discussion reminds me of a young woman I went to college with who was saved at the time (I wasn't saved then) and she had discussed with us girls in class that she doesn't "date" -- she "courts". What I got from that back then, was that courting had a more serious connotation because it involves standards, with the specific goal of getting to know one person to prepare for marriage.

_Dating_ seemingly has a less serious connotation; it appears more 'social' or 'casual' because in the world.._dating _..comes with the understanding that sex may be involved and people are just hooking up to hook up and not necessarily get married. There is also the understanding it involves seeing more than one person at the same time.

I also agree with the point Divya made, though...it's all in the intent of the heart and the two people involved, despite what it's called. There are Christians who don't consider oral sex fornication  yet claim they're 'saving themselves' for marriage while courting. On the flip side, a couple of Christians could be on the up and up, say they are _dating_ each other yet are seriously spending time with each other and God, and not doing all that other extra stuff.  



Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> @MissNina
> As Christians we are called out from the world to be separate and different, we should not be doing things in the same old ways that we did before we were saved which includes ‘dating’ and this is why I don’t like the word dating because in my opinion it has the same connotations, I prefer the word ‘courting’ but that’s a matter of personal choice…
> 
> With no disrespect to the posters that came in and shared their experiences, if you read through some of the comments you would have noticed lots of similarities to experiences that we once had while we were in the world…because there are no clear guidelines or rules in place we tend to fall into some of the same traps of the ‘dating’ world and end up getting married and divorced same as the world does and for the same reasons…


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Aug 29, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*

^^yes, yes agreed ...

I guess what ever it is called, I wish that we could understand that it is also a spiritual matter, and as such should be approached differently kwim?


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## divya (Aug 30, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> ^^may I ask your experience, why do think it didn't work...



I will PM you sis.


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## skyslady (Sep 8, 2011)

*Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved*



Laela said:


> Never settle for less than God's best for you... Jeremiah 29:11... that means, the best of the best. Not the cream of the crap... (sorry I'm Caribbean...)
> 
> That means, being unequally yolked by accepting less than God's best (settling, compromising)  -- when He has something better _already promised _to you.
> 
> [disclaimer: this is generally speaking, when I say "you".. .not directed at you per say, OP ]



I 100% agree!!!


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