# Praying out bad relationships



## mellowmel (Mar 1, 2009)

I've always heard of people separating themselves from bad relationships, so I decided to pray on mine. There are just some people no matter what the relationship is/was that aren't beneficial to your life, walk with God, and progression. I asked God to show me signs of who should and should not be in my life and take those that shouldn't be there away.

So after telling my daughter's father (we haven't been together since I was 2 months pregnant) about the way he was acting around male friends who he brought with him to see our child and his lack of support for her, he said some hurtful things to me and that was the final straw. I asked the Lord to let people show/say their true feelings toward me and I'm glad that I'm seeing this in several people and can let God deal with these issues.


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## Irresistible (Mar 1, 2009)

mellowmel said:


> I've always heard of people separating themselves from bad relationships, so I decided to pray on mine. There are just some people no matter what the relationship is/was that aren't beneficial to your life, walk with God, and progression. I asked God to show me signs of who should and should not be in my life and take those that shouldn't be there away.
> 
> So after telling my daughter's father (we haven't been together since I was 2 months pregnant) about the way he was acting around male friends who he brought with him to see our child and his lack of support for her, he said some hurtful things to me and that was the final straw. I asked the Lord to let people show/say their true feelings toward me and I'm glad that I'm seeing this in several people and can let God deal with these issues.


I am working on praying on all of my relationships too

my daughter, my ex, my family

let me tell you,  when you pray, God really answers!  like I knew that already, but wow,  I have been lead to do some hard things, but its like while doing these hard things I am being lead to answers

keep praying!  God bless you!


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## mellowmel (Mar 1, 2009)

Thanks, I realized that holding onto relationships that were hurtful or holding me back weren't working. They cause too much stress and hurt and God doesn't want that in my life.


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## Irresistible (Mar 1, 2009)

mellowmel said:


> Thanks, I realized that holding onto relationships that were hurtful or holding me back weren't working. They cause too much stress and hurt and God doesn't want that in my life.



I think you said something very important

in letting God deal with these issues

Because letting go altogether might not be his answer,  never looking back might not be his answer,  just because a relationship is hurtful, doesnt mean he cant/wont work on that person  and you  or the relationship, and bring change and healing and reconciliation,  but you said the most important thing that you are letting go and that wasnt the end of it, you said you are letting him deal with the issues

keep seeking him and of course he will lead you in all things


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## Irresistible (Mar 1, 2009)

oh and yes some relationships of course do need to be removed, some for a season

just be lead by him

in all things

and your doing it just right,  no need to figure anything else out

hugs


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Mar 1, 2009)

mellowmel said:


> I've always heard of people separating themselves from bad relationships, so I decided to pray on mine. There are just some people no matter what the relationship is/was that aren't beneficial to your life, walk with God, and progression. I asked God to show me signs of who should and should not be in my life and take those that shouldn't be there away.
> 
> So after telling my daughter's father (we haven't been together since I was 2 months pregnant) about the way he was acting around male friends who he brought with him to see our child and his lack of support for her, he said some hurtful things to me and that was the final straw. I asked the Lord to let people show/say their true feelings toward me and I'm glad that I'm seeing this in several people and can let God deal with these issues.


 

Amein!  I tell you, one of the most hurtful things one can experience is the sheer ung-dly hatred of family.  I knew from two separate priests (confessions is private, screened, they don't see you...told me about my situation without my asking) that I shouldn't be in that any longer.  I heeded G-d's warning even though I made countless efforts to better my marriage.  Someone started telling me about praying for my partner, for peace.  I prayed to know finally what his sentiments were.  Overheard him one day calling me an ****** beatch ...over my civil discussion with him that the money shouldn't be horded and used for frivolous things but rather to help the family as we had a diabetic child and had serious financial problems.  That hurt so badly that he would stoop so low to call me this.  

I divorced him.  It was fruitless.  People called me all kinds of ho's, adulteresses for divorcing him, stupid Black American etc. asking me if I had someone waiting in the wings...you name it.  Know what?  Those people are now eating crow.  I didn't say a thing.  I was silent and protected myself and the kids.  My cousin helped me so much and she's telling me now the community there is saying, "oh, she was such a lovely wife, but no wonder she left him.  Look at what he's doing etc.  He is stupid.  Poor thing, she's strong and good woman lalulululululululu!"  

It takes time sometimes, but when you know who your true enemies are, you are free indeed!


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## Highly Favored8 (Mar 1, 2009)

Yes, I am in the process of  praying someone out of life once and for all.


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## discobiscuits (Mar 1, 2009)

I am NOT saying not to pray people out.

I just don't understand why people have to pray people out of their lives when we can make that decision on our own and God honors it.

What is the purpose of praying someone out of your life if you can remove them from your life on your own? I do not understand.

ETA: Is it praying some one out or is it praying for strength not to let them back in?


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## Irresistible (Mar 1, 2009)

1star said:


> I am NOT saying not to pray people out.
> 
> I just don't understand why people have to pray people out of their lives when we can make that decision on our own and God honors it.
> 
> ...



That and I think it mostly means God showing you who needs to be pruned out of your life , giving the word etc


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## Ramya (Mar 1, 2009)

1star said:


> I am NOT saying not to pray people out.
> 
> I just don't understand why people have to pray people out of their lives when we can make that decision on our own and God honors it.
> 
> ...




Proverbs 3:6 In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.

We can make that decision on our own but it's a powerful decision to make without asking for guidance. Our relationships with other people can effect our spirit and theirs. Sometimes we move too fast and without just cause.


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## mellowmel (Mar 1, 2009)

Yeah believe me that without God's guidance it's sometimes hard to let go. Also sometimes we tend to overlook things, justify things that people do. So when I say pray people out, I was asking God to show me signs of who should be out of my life, then with his guidance I made the choice that they should no longer be there. Sometimes people you want out of your life should be there and vice versa, so I asked for the guidance, wisdom, and signs to know who should stay, who should go, and what relationships to work on.


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## discobiscuits (Mar 2, 2009)

thanks, but that passage does not address my question. 

ladies, i do not understand why holy spirit filled people would have to ask or consult god to do what they already know they must do from what god speaks to them through the holy spirit in them and from simple common sense. you don't need to ask god for permission to do what he's already told you to do.


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## Irresistible (Mar 2, 2009)

1star said:


> thanks, but that passage does not address my question.
> 
> ladies, i do not understand why holy spirit filled people would have to ask or consult god to do what they already know they must do from what god speaks to them through the holy spirit in them and from simple common sense. you don't need to ask god for permission to do what he's already told you to do.



Well like sometimes we might only be in a person's life for a season or reason and while we might be lead in our spirits to stay in the relationship, he might say no, its time to let that go

the devil is so deceiving, we need to rely on the holy spirit,  concerning all of our contacts, connections, relationships with others

we can let someone in by our own will and desires and feelings,  then we would need to ask him to reveal his will for that relationship

we can have a hard time letting someone go and it can get confusing and we need prayer for that help and revelation always helps to guide us 

those are the reasons I see to ask


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## Ramya (Mar 2, 2009)

For me, I pray before ending anything. None of my situations were dangerous but a lot of times I was wanting to end relationships (including friendships) because I was upset and acting on my 'feelings.' Feelings can be deceitful and are up and down like a rollercoaster. I never move because of my 'feelings' any more. I move if and when God tells me to. At some point you have to realize that everything isn't about YOU and that YOUR happiness is a choice independent of any other person. God might be filling a greater purpose at the time and by me moving too quickly are harshly His plan can be hindered. I am a firm believer that every relationship failure is due to a lack of love (us showing God's love). If I love my friend with God's love, I won't be quick to anger, nor keep an account of wrongdoings. God's love is unconditional and NEVER fails. So yes, I truly believe that I should consult God about my relationships before I end them.


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## Irresistible (Mar 2, 2009)

alabama said:


> For me, I pray before ending anything. None of my situations were dangerous but a lot of times I was wanting to end relationships (including friendships) because I was upset and acting on my 'feelings.' Feelings can be deceitful and are up and down like a rollercoaster. I never move because of my 'feelings' any more. I move if and when God tells me to. At some point you have to realize that everything isn't about YOU and that YOUR happiness is a choice independent of any other person. God might be filling a greater purpose at the time and by me moving too quickly are harshly His plan can be hindered. I am a firm believer that every relationship failure is due to a lack of love (us showing God's love). If I love my friend with God's love, I won't be quick to anger, nor keep an account of wrongdoings. God's love is unconditional and NEVER fails. So yes, I truly believe that I should consult God about my relationships before I end them.



Yes indeed, acting out on emotions and feelings and being lead by them will never work.  So much destruction can happen in that arena,  and the enemy can rule you there

lessons from being a moher and living with my child

lesson learned totally

now ministering and sowing it back into her life

this is a huge lesson!


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## Country gal (Mar 2, 2009)

I have been praying for strength to hold out for the right guy. It can be a challenge. It is worth it in the end. It's great to eliminate the negativity and leave it up to God to give you strength.


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## discobiscuits (Mar 2, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> while we might be lead in our spirits to stay in the relationship, he might say no, its time to let that go
> 
> the devil is so deceiving, we need to rely on the holy spirit,  concerning all of our contacts, connections, relationships with others



con-fuse-ed. How can one be led in the spirit to have a relationship and at the same time god tells them that relationship must go?  

What spirit is saying okay and what spirit is saying no? The same spirit won't say two different things.


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## Irresistible (Mar 2, 2009)

1star said:


> con-fuse-ed. How can one be led in the spirit to have a relationship and at the same time god tells them that relationship must go?
> 
> What spirit is saying okay and what spirit is saying no? The same spirit won't say two different things.



well if its for a season,  say of ministry,  the season takes place, then its over

but our spirits/feelings can also lead us -which I think thats what I was saying in my post about your spirit leading you into something

sorry for the mix up on words


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## Ms.Honey (Mar 2, 2009)

We have to step back and back away sometimes and sometimes back away forever. We can never turn our backs on someone no matter who or what they've done because we have to always have are hearts in a position to pray for someone no matter who or what they've done.

 Some relationships need to be prayed on. Some stuff we don't need Jesus to tell us.


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## daydreem2876 (Mar 2, 2009)

1star said:


> thanks, but that passage does not address my question.
> 
> ladies, i do not understand why holy spirit filled people would have to ask or consult god to do what they already know they must do from what god speaks to them through the holy spirit in them and from simple common sense. you don't need to ask god for permission to do what he's already told you to do.


 
In my opinion, it is not as simple as just removing someone from your life or asking permission to do so.  The prayer is really not about the other permos at all.  It's about your commune with God to assess the situation, learn the lesson and gain understanding as to why the relationship needs to end.  It is about gaining peace about the situation.

Sometimes it is not as simple as walking away.  Sometime you have to pray for peace and asfety along the way.



1star said:


> I am NOT saying not to pray people out.
> 
> I just don't understand why people have to pray people out of their lives when we can make that decision on our own and God honors it.
> 
> ...


 
It's about both



1star said:


> con-fuse-ed. How can one be led in the spirit to have a relationship and at the same time god tells them that relationship must go?
> 
> What spirit is saying okay and what spirit is saying no? The same spirit won't say two different things.


 
I believe the spirit will.  Life and the Christian walk is a process ad everything happens for a reason and is a learning opportunity to bring us closer to God.  We just have to see it as such.  God will send us the same challnges until we learn the lesson he has for us.


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## discobiscuits (Mar 2, 2009)

daydreem, you missed my points but it is okay.  

one of my points from the three of mine you quoted, i'm basically saying that one cannot pray someone out of their life. if a person should not be there, each individual has free will to get rid of that person regardless of the nature of the relationship.  one does not need to ask god for permission to exercise one's own free will.  instead people should ask god before hand.

as for my comment on the spirit: one poster made a statement in which she said that the spirit would say yes, then she said the spirit would say no.....she later clarified and what she meant (if i understood) was the person's spirit may say to keep someone in but the Holy Spirit may say no. so again, you misunderstood my posts perhaps i was not clear in the way i presented my comments.


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## daydreem2876 (Mar 2, 2009)

1star said:


> daydreem, you missed my points but it is okay.
> 
> one of my points from the three of mine you quoted, i'm basically saying that one cannot pray someone out of their life. if a person should not be there, each individual has free will to get rid of that person regardless of the nature of the relationship. one does not need to ask god for permission to exercise one's own free will. instead people should ask god before hand.
> 
> as for my comment on the spirit: one poster made a statement in which she said that the spirit would say yes, then she said the spirit would say no.....she later clarified and what she meant (if i understood) was the person's spirit may say to keep someone in but the Holy Spirit may say no. so again, you misunderstood my posts perhaps i was not clear in the way i presented my comments.


 
I understood what you said and I stand behind my respones


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## topsyturvy86 (Mar 2, 2009)

daydreem2876 said:


> In my opinion, it is not as simple as just removing someone from your life or asking permission to do so. The prayer is really not about the other permos at all. It's about your commune with God to assess the situation, learn the lesson and gain understanding as to why the relationship needs to end. It is about gaining peace about the situation.
> 
> Sometimes it is not as simple as walking away. Sometime you have to pray for peace and asfety along the way.
> 
> ...


 
I agree . 

In my opinion, it's really all about handing the situation over to God, letting Him guide you, and letting His will be done in it and not yours. Some situations are not all simple and common sense. 

I mistakingly prayed someone out of my life once . I heared a message at church once about toxic relationships and then thought about the relationship I was in with this guy I loved with all my heart and maybe even more. Our relationship had some of the symptoms spoken about so I prayed on it and handed the situation over to God. Not too long after, the relationship degenerated and ended. It was all sudden and everything was completely out of my control. I really wanted to carry on with it and thought it was the best thing for me at the time and couldn't understand what exactly happened. Now my eye's are clear, I can't thank God enough for getting him out of my life! Him leaving was the best thing for me and I can see it now.


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## Whisper (Mar 2, 2009)

alabama said:


> For me, I pray before ending anything. None of my situations were dangerous but a lot of times I was wanting to end relationships (including friendships) because I was upset and acting on my 'feelings.' Feelings can be deceitful and are up and down like a rollercoaster. I never move because of my 'feelings' any more. I move if and when God tells me to. At some point you have to realize that everything isn't about YOU and that YOUR happiness is a choice independent of any other person. God might be filling a greater purpose at the time and by me moving too quickly are harshly His plan can be hindered. I am a firm believer that every relationship failure is due to a lack of love (us showing God's love). If I love my friend with God's love, I won't be quick to anger, nor keep an account of wrongdoings. God's love is unconditional and NEVER fails. So yes, I truly believe that I should consult God about my relationships before I end them.



Well said!  and AMEN!


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## discobiscuits (Mar 3, 2009)

never mind thanks


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## PinkPebbles (Mar 3, 2009)

Ms.Honey said:


> We have to step back and back away sometimes and sometimes back away forever. We can never turn our backs on someone no matter who or what they've done because we have to always have are hearts in a position to pray for someone no matter who or what they've done.
> 
> Some relationships need to be prayed on. Some stuff we don't need Jesus to tell us.


 
So true!

Deep down in my heart I knew that I needed to walk away from a relationship. The warning signs were obvious and the longer I stayed it became a stronghold in my life. That's when I had to pray and asked the Lord for strength, the spirit of boldness to end the relationship and to permanently walk away without looking back. Indeed, God honored my prayer and that was the best thing I could have done for myself! 

In summary, when one allows a relationship to become a stronghold and tangled in any form of bondage, it's not easy to just walk away. You have to repent and pray for deliverance so your soul can be set free.


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## topsyturvy86 (Mar 3, 2009)

1star said:


> *Topsyturvy86:
> *How can you say:
> Quote:
> I *mistakenly* prayed someone out of my life once
> ...


 
.....................................................


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## daydreem2876 (Mar 3, 2009)

1star

Again, I did not misunderstand you and stand behind my statements.  Whereas, I do agree with some of you sentiments and yes we should pray and seek God's guidance prior to entering into any relationship.  But for some, including myself, things do not happen that way.  My sentiments come from the perspective I have had to end a bad relationship. I will readily admit it was not of God, I should have listened long before, and ended it before the bad things happened.  But this discussion is not about what I could have, should have, would have done at the beginning of the relationship.  It is about the end and how I prayer, seeking God, and following the holy spirit's lead lead me through that. I could not move in that relationship because I was scared, I needed God's help to remove that fear. I could have been physically hurt, I had to pray for safety. Like Topsyturvy said, I had to hand it over to God.  

But I also believe that God takes us through the different challenges to bring us closer to him.  From that experience, I have proof and the testimony that prayer changes thing, that he supplies all of my needs, and that if I have the faith the size of a mustard seed he will move mountains.  I needed that experience to get that.  It may be a different experience for someone else.

Please do not think I do not understand you.  I do.  We are just coming from different perspectives.  You from what needs to happen in the beginning and from what I needed to do at the end.


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