# Interracial Christian Couples



## LucieLoo12 (May 3, 2012)

So when it comes to interracial couples have you noticed a negativity towards it even when it comes to Christians? I have defintely seen it in the world per say, but I have started to notice it in even the Christian community.Personally I could care less about the color of someone's skin...but some still have that "dont take our black men away" even in the "church world"




Whatcha think?


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## Laela (May 3, 2012)

We Christians are all God's Children, so I don't see the point in hating or disliking on an IR couple simply because they are interracial. That's ungodly, IMHO. I believe insecurity plays a large part in whether a person, single or married...Christian or not.... has an issue with IRs.


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## Poohbear (May 3, 2012)

While there is nothing wrong with nor ungodly about interracial couples, it doesn't mean all Christians have to like it, accept it, or be open to doing it.

Sent via Android LHCF App


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## Laela (May 3, 2012)

what is "it"?




Poohbear said:


> While there is nothing wrong or ungodly with interracial couples, it doesn't mean all Christians *have to* like it, accept it, or be open to doing it.
> 
> Sent via Android LHCF App


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## LucieLoo12 (May 3, 2012)

Well if someone did not like seeing a white woman and a black man together, and they are proclaimed Christians, I would definetely want them to search thier heart...

Why would that bother them or why wouldn't they be accepting of it? I'm not saying they themselves have to do it, but when they are not approving of it, thats a different story....



Poohbear said:


> While there is nothing wrong with nor ungodly about interracial couples, it doesn't mean all Christians have to like it, accept it, or be open to doing it.
> 
> Sent via Android LHCF App


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## Poohbear (May 3, 2012)

Laela said:
			
		

> what is "it"?


Laela
Interracial relationships/marriages.

Sent via Android LHCF App


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## Poohbear (May 3, 2012)

Alicialynn86 said:
			
		

> Well if someone did not like seeing a white woman and a black man together, and they are proclaimed Christians, I would definetely want them to search thier heart...
> 
> Why would that bother them or why wouldn't they be accepting of it? I'm not saying they themselves have to do it, but when they are not approving of it, thats a different story....



I think you're looking more into what I'm saying. I'm simply talking about preferences as in simply not liking white women to be with black men or whatever the case may be... Not hate, envy, jealousy, or any extremely bad feelings towards interracial couples.

Sent via Android LHCF App


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## LucieLoo12 (May 3, 2012)

Well in your previous posts you said that Christians dont have to accept it or like it, so I was saying why wouldnt they be accepting/like  it?



Poohbear said:


> I think you're looking more into what I'm saying. I'm simply talking about preferences as in simply not liking white women to be with black men or whatever the case may be... Not hate, envy, jealousy, or any extremely bad feelings towards interracial couples.
> 
> Sent via Android LHCF App


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## Laela (May 3, 2012)

That was a tongue-in-check question.... lol

You're right, we don't HAVE to like or accept whom someone chooses to marry ... 

We all have personal preferences .. If someone doesn't like seeing IR couples, then there is a WHY attached to it. God is privy. One's attitude is either negative or it's not.

Then, there is the Word.. I assure you..there are people who can use Scripture to justify couples not mixing or intermarrying... 






Poohbear said:


> Laela
> Interracial relationships/marriages.
> 
> Sent via Android LHCF App


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (May 3, 2012)

No I haven't noticed anything but hten again interracial dating and marriage has always been very prevalent 'here' so I guess you can say it's the norm ...

But I heard that interracial marriages have shoot up in the US from 2010 to now...God is a God of colour He made us in different colours so I doubt that he cares at all we are more concerned than He is ....

I'd love to see more men in the church period and that's what the church should pray for;  men coming to God and taking their positions in the church, home, community etc..


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## aribell (May 3, 2012)

Alicialynn86 said:


> Well if someone did not like seeing a white woman and a black man together, and they are proclaimed Christians, I would definetely want them to search thier heart...
> 
> Why would that bother them or why wouldn't they be accepting of it? I'm not saying they themselves have to do it, but when they are not approving of it, thats a different story....


 

I think that race relations and interracial relationships have so much to do with our culture and I think that there are a lot of societal dynamics at play that would still impact a Christian's perspective.  For instance, I know more than one black man who has more or less explicitly said that they consider white women to be superior to black women and therefore they aspire to marry a white woman.  This has nothing to do with individual preferences or Christ making us all one.  It has everything to do with negative societal messages and in some cases a contempt for black women.  Black women who are sensitive to this, or perceive this attitude, would not be being un-Christlike if they were offended by it.

It just seems that people have so many varying reasons for dating interracially, from the perfectly innocent to the "bad" as listed above.  I think that one can accept in general that interracial relationships are OK, but also recognize that certain cultural dynamics might give someone a preference to marry someone of their own ethnicity.


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## Love Always (May 3, 2012)

nicola.kirwan, you've expressed what I wanted to say, esepcially the first paragraph. Best believe that there are women and men that feel that way, even in the church. I think this is what Poohbear was getting at? Correct me if I'm wrong.


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## LucieLoo12 (May 3, 2012)

nicola.kirwan said:


> I think that race relations and interracial relationships have so much to do with our culture and I think that there are a lot of societal dynamics at play that would still impact a Christian's perspective. For instance, I *know more than one black man who has more or less explicitly said that they consider white women to be superior to black women and therefore they aspire to marry a white woman*. This has nothing to do with individual preferences or Christ making us all one. It has everything to do with negative societal messages and in some cases a contempt for black women. Black women who are sensitive to this, or perceive this attitude, would not be being un-Christlike if they were offended by it.
> 
> It just seems that people have so many varying reasons for dating interracially, from the perfectly innocent to the "bad" as listed above. I think that one can accept in general that interracial relationships are OK, but also recognize that certain cultural dynamics might give someone a preference to marry someone of their own ethnicity.


 
Well that is totally a wrong mindset to have


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## Laela (May 3, 2012)

OK, so as a Christian black woman, I'm going to allow such a negative mindset to cause me to be OFFENDED every time I see a black man and his white wife or any IR couple for that matter? The mere fact that an IR *offends  *is telling. We are better than this.... 

At underlined...I am aware of preferences; but last I check, people still marry for love. To presuppose an IR couple got married because of race is too limiting...unless they are explicit, we assume they just HAD to have married for some other reason than Love. 


nicola.kirwan said:


> For instance, I know more than one black man who has more or less explicitly said that they consider white women to be superior to black women and therefore they aspire to marry a white woman.  This has nothing to do with individual preferences or Christ making us all one.*  It has everything to do with negative societal messages and in some cases a contempt for black women.  Black women who are sensitive to this, or perceive this attitude, would not be being un-Christlike if they were offended by it.*
> 
> It just seems that people have so many varying reasons for dating interracially, from the perfectly innocent to the "bad" as listed above.  I think that one can accept in general that interracial relationships are OK, but also recognize that certain cultural dynamics might give someone a preference to marry someone of their own ethnicity.


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## LucieLoo12 (May 3, 2012)

Exactly. Why when people see a IR couple they feel like the black man hate black women...maybe he really loves the person he is with...its not always a self-hate thing




Laela said:


> OK, so as a Christian black woman, I'm going to allow such a negative mindset to cause me to be OFFENDED every time I see a black man and his white wife or any IR couple for that matter? The mere fact that an IR *offends *is telling. We are better than this....
> 
> At underlined...I am aware of preferences; but last I check, people still marry for love. To presuppose an IR couple got married because of race is too limiting...unless they are explicit, we assume they just HAD to have married for some other reason than Love.


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## MamaBear2012 (May 3, 2012)

I don't see it, but I'm at a church where racial reconciliation is one of the tenets that we're based on. So, there are over 120 countries represented and races mix easily. Many of my friends are people from my church and many of my friends who don't attend my church, share the same values. I love it because when I get to Heaven, I'm pretty sure that I won't be only singing and praising God with black people. I'm sure that God won't have us segregated in Heaven. So, why would I do any of that here? 

I try not to let earthly culture taint my Godly culture. Race/culture isn't something that should ever trump how I worship, how I praise God, and my marriage is something that I think pleases God. It's an outward reflection to the world of God's love for the church.


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## SummerSolstice (May 3, 2012)

I've noticed it and people are people. Its wrong but as blacks we've been treated so badly over the years, so I understand it. But its definitely wrong.


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## aribell (May 3, 2012)

Laela said:


> OK, so as a Christian black woman, I'm going to allow such a negative mindset to cause me to be OFFENDED every time I see a black man and his white wife or any IR couple for that matter? The mere fact that an IR *offends *is telling. We are better than this....
> 
> At underlined...I am aware of preferences; but last I check, people still marry for love. To presuppose an IR couple got married because of race is too limiting...unless they are explicit, we assume they just HAD to have married for some other reason than Love.


 
I don't think what I said justifies that. I was only speaking to why some people are sensitive about it.


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## BrandNew (May 3, 2012)

This should be a non-issue in the church and for Christians.


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## aribell (May 3, 2012)

Alicialynn86 said:


> Well that is totally a wrong mindset to have


 
And you know, the person who told me that has been a youth pastor.

I have also had a devoutly Christian man state that he would "never" date a white woman.

I think that it has to be understood that everyone is coming into the church having been affected to one degree or another by the world.  Just like there are women in the church resentful of IR relationships, there are men in the church openly expressing and acting upon an ungodly worldview when it comes to women and race.  _Both_ of those attitides present in the church play upon one another, and therefore you see in the church what is present in the world.

On a personal level, it is important to have one's mind renewed by Christ, and generally for emotional health to just realize that what is going on in someone else's life simply has nothing to do with you.  If someone told me they were angry about seeing an IR couple, I would probably say it really isn't their business why they are together and that it has no bearing on your life at the end of the day.


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## auparavant (May 3, 2012)

Poohbear said:


> While there is nothing wrong with nor ungodly about interracial couples, it doesn't mean all Christians have to like it, accept it, or be open to doing it.
> 
> Sent via Android LHCF App



Um, yes they do because it's based upon christian principles that we are all brothers from One G-d and live according to a much higher standard than what our human society has fashioned.



Poohbear said:


> I think you're looking more into what I'm saying. I'm simply talking about preferences as in simply not liking white women to be with black men or whatever the case may be... Not hate, envy, jealousy, or any extremely bad feelings towards interracial couples.
> 
> Sent via Android LHCF App



There is a difference between wishing to carry on your culture by marrying one of the same than looking at an IR and not liking it.  What would be the basis for not liking it?  And as far as black women responding to the cultural intra-racism from BM, those who would dislike the negative opinions stated about one race being better than another would not be responding in kind to being racist.  However, if a black woman were to look at an IR and proclaim she doesn't like _it_ (IR), I'd think she were coveting on top of being racist.  You protest evil attitudes only.


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## Poohbear (May 3, 2012)

Alicialynn86 said:


> Well in your previous posts you said that Christians dont have to accept it or like it, so I was saying why wouldnt they be accepting/like  it?


Same reason why I wouldn't want blue eyes and blonde hair. Accepting/Liking interracial couples has nothing to do with being a Christian or not.



Laela said:


> That was a tongue-in-check question.... lol
> 
> You're right, we don't HAVE to like or accept whom someone chooses to marry ...
> 
> ...


I know people have used the Bible against interracial relationships but it's not right. And I didn't use any scriptures to justify couples not mixing or intermarrying because of the fact that it's not right. The bible is not against interracial relations. I believe God sees no problem with interracial couples.

Geez Alicialynn86 and Laela - are y'all with white/non-black men or something?  I'm confused as to why a dislike of something has to be turned into a detestable evil attitude/mindset.



Love Always said:


> nicola.kirwan, you've expressed what I wanted to say, esepcially the first paragraph. Best believe that there are women and men that feel that way, even in the church. I think this is what Poohbear was getting at? Correct me if I'm wrong.



Love Always - yes, nicole.kirwan explained my sentiments



auparavant said:


> Um, yes they do because it's based upon christian principles that we are all brothers from One G-d and live according to a much higher standard than what our human society has fashioned.
> 
> There is a difference between wishing to carry on your culture by marrying one of the same than looking at an IR and not liking it.  What would be the basis for not liking it?  And as far as black women responding to the cultural intra-racism from BM, those who would dislike the negative opinions stated about one race being better than another would not be responding in kind to being racist.  However, if a black woman were to look at an IR and proclaim she doesn't like _it_ (IR), I'd think she were coveting on top of being racist.  You protest evil attitudes only.



auparavant - hey girl!  I agree that Christians should live according to the Word of God and be separate from the world, but God does not require us to be forced to like everything that goes on in the world whether it's favorable or unfavorable. I don't think it's racist to not like or prefer interracial relationships. I believe it's only racist if you hate those people for being in the relationship. I just see a difference in hate/coveting and just simple dislike of something. Not sure how else to explain it.


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## Renewed1 (May 3, 2012)

<Looks at avatar> 

I'm fine with IR couples. You love who you love.  I have an issue when you talk down (regardless of your race) your own people; to justify dating outside your race.

At the end of the day, people aren't going to approve of your decisions or the things you do.  As long as you and God (more importantly) are fine with it; nothing else matters. 

But I don't recall seeing anyone giving the screw face because a couple are IR. My church has a few....I don't think anybody cares.


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## auparavant (May 3, 2012)

Poohbear

If you dislike their IR relationship, what would be the basis for disliking them?  There-in lies the answer.


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## MonPetite (May 3, 2012)

..........................


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## Poohbear (May 3, 2012)

auparavant said:
			
		

> Poohbear
> 
> If you dislike their IR relationship, what would be the basis for disliking them?  There-in lies the answer.



I would say culture, social construct, and family upbringing as well as preference...not religious affiliation or inner attitudes. Hope that makes sense.

Sent via Android LHCF App


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## Shimmie (May 3, 2012)

Poohbear said:


> Geez Alicialynn86 and Laela - are y'all with white/non-black men or something?  I'm confused as to why a dislike of something has to be turned into a detestable evil attitude/mindset.



Oh no... That's not what they meant...


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## Shimmie (May 3, 2012)

Poohbear said:


> I would say culture, social construct, and family upbringing as well as preference...not religious affiliation or inner attitudes. Hope that makes sense.
> 
> Sent via Android LHCF App



A bad self-esteem in many of our Black men is also a contributor.  

Too many Black men have married white women to 'prove' to the 'white man' that they could take something of 'theirs' and get away with it;  as well as for other narcisistic reasons...  the websites are out there with Black men talking absolutely silly about their 'preferences' outside of a Black woman.  

When (if) these men come into the Church, these are attitudes that they bring with them and have to set in line with the heart of God and not their foolishness.


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## Shimmie (May 3, 2012)

MarriageMaterial said:


> <Looks at avatar>
> 
> I'm fine with IR couples. You love who you love.
> 
> ...



MarriageMaterial...

Your post speaks my heart.   I don't have a problem with it at all.   What I DO have a problem with are those Black 'brothers' who think they have something better than a Black woman could ever be.    

That right there is where I 'snatch' a brother and  

Other than that, I'm quite fine with it.    You love who you love ...   

When God is the Lord of one's heart... there is no colour... Whom God hath joined together... no colour/race ... matters.  Not at all.   

There are so many White men who LOVE Black women and to me, it appears more sincere than the Black men who are with white women.   The white men aren't trying to prove anything to anyone.  They simply love the Black women for who she is and nothing less.      I'm serious about this.


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## Shimmie (May 3, 2012)

auparavant said:


> *Um, yes they do because it's based upon christian principles that we are all brothers from One G-d and live according to a much higher standard than what our human society has fashioned.*
> *
> There is a difference between wishing to carry on your culture by marrying one of the same than looking at an IR and not liking it.  *
> 
> ...


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## LucieLoo12 (May 4, 2012)

Poohbear said:


> Geez @Alicialynn86 and @Laela - are y'all with white/non-black men or something?  I'm confused as to why a dislike of something has to be turned into a detestable evil attitude/mindset.


 

No I am not in a relationship at all. And I wasn't saying you are  wicked, I was just trying to see what was the reasoning behind what you feel..And I said that if anyone did have a problem with it, they would need to examine their hearts as to why. It's a difference between preferring not to marry outside your race, and not accepting of the idea of anyone else who does.

That's all.


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## CoilyFields (May 4, 2012)

I understand what some are saying about the "gut reaction" some (especially black) women may have to IR couples...and this really only applies to BM/WW.

Socially in America WW were held up as the standard of beauty and a "prize" to be won. Black women were seen as sexualized creatures to be used, worked, but not valued. I wish I could say that we do not have traces of this school of thought today but...these attitudes have placed BWs "stock" at a lower "value" than WW. 


Hence, the same way that it seems to be hard to break the (often unconcious) glorifying of "good hair" and light skin as the "automatic" pretty in African American culture...it is often hard for some BM to break through the belief that WW as a group are better to date than BW. 

I totally believe that you should love who you love no matter the color. But I also believe that a lot of the Black men who date strictly outside their race, do it because of negative feelings towards black women. Now that does not mean that they cannot love their White wife completely and unconditionally...it just means that they set out the parameters of a search (white is right) and looked for love within them.  

Another issue is the shortage of available, successful, marriage-minded black men.  When the black ratio in college is 4:1 then when that 1 marries outside the race then it does have an impact on the social and economic advancement of African Americans as a culture.

Now...after having said all of that lol as Christians we would have to work that out within ourselves. Not automatically judging a persons motives. Now when men express that they agree with the above-mentioned school of thought (and I have had debates with black men about why dating WW is better) then it's on and poppin!


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## Laela (May 4, 2012)

It really should....




but it's not and won't until we all face our fears and really be truthful with ourselves.





BrandNew said:


> This should be a non-issue in the church and for Christians.


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## Laela (May 4, 2012)

Naww... he's negroid  


Poohbear said:


> Geez Alicialynn86 and Laela - *are y'all with white/non-black men or something?*  I'm confused as to why a dislike of something has to be turned into a detestable evil attitude/mindset.


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## Laela (May 4, 2012)

-------------


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## MrsHaseeb (May 4, 2012)

We as Christians have to be careful with these kinds of feelings. They are not Godly. If it's simply not your preference to date someone outside your race then OK. That's fine. But if it bothers you to see interracial couples, especially if the man is black there is an issue in the heart going on. People will deny that but its true. For those feelings to be in place there must be a lack of self love and a degree of bitterness going on in there. If anyone disagrees ask yourself if it would bother you to see an Asian man with a white woman. If that doesn't bother you then it shouldn't bother you for a black man to be with a white woman either. I have dealt with the emotions that cause those feelings. Plus my Bishop is black and married to a Spanish woman. It doesn't bother me. They both love God.


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## LucieLoo12 (May 4, 2012)

MrsHaseeb said:


> We as Christians have to be careful with these kinds of feelings. They are not Godly. If it's simply not your preference to date someone outside your race then OK. That's fine. But if it bothers you to see interracial couples, especially if the man is black there is an issue in the heart going on. People will deny that but its true. For those feelings to be in place there must be a lack of self love and a degree of bitterness going on in there. If anyone disagrees ask yourself if it would bother you to see an Asian man with a white woman. If that doesn't bother you then it shouldn't bother you for a black man to be with a white woman either. I have dealt with the emotions that cause those feelings. Plus my Bishop is black and married to a Spanish woman. It doesn't bother me. They both love God.


 

Because Thanks is not enough 

My pastor is black and his wife is white, and its never been a issue for me. Love is love. Love sees no color...Souls have no color.


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## MrsHaseeb (May 4, 2012)

I have to add another thing I'm very passionate about. While I'm not crazy about The Message Bible in it's entirety there is one verse I live by. Ephesians 1:11 says "Its in Christ that you know who you are and what you are living for". See that sums of a lot of our problem right there. We are letting the worlds belief system dominate how we think of ourselves and relationships. Let God's Word and Christ in you define who you are and how you feel about yourself. See yourself the way God sees you, love yourself (and others) the way God loves you and those "dislikes " of seeing black men with other races of women will disappear. Get the mind of Christ and elevate beyond those things because being honest they are petty. They don't matter. OK, I'm leaving now....


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## Shimmie (May 4, 2012)

There is something from each of you in this thread, that I agree with.  *Each of you.* ...    Good Discussion Ladies... very good.  

May I be honest about something here?  I'm speaking from my heart and from the hearts of Black women who have been dishonoured.     

We can talk all day long about what's right in Christ Jesus... I think we all know this.  And I agree with this, we must love no matter what colour. 

However, as Black women 'as a whole', even those of us in a happy man/woman relationship, Black women as a whole have been given a raw deal.  Among all of the 'civilized' / democratic / races - cultures, even those of us in the Lord... Black women are treated as the lessor.   

I rejoice in seeing White men with Black women.  I REJOICE in it!  They treat us royally.  They WANT to marry us and treat us right.   Even the White men in the deepest South.    This is from my personal experience and being a witness to other Black women who are in a relationship with a white man.  White men love Black women and don't hide it.  And for this cause, I encourage Black women to PLEASE be open to inter-racial relationships.  PLEASE!  Don't short-change yourself from being loved and being treated right.  White men don't care if you're light brown or deeper brown; they don't care if you wear a weave, a wig or have short curly hair or long.   They simply love Black women for who they are.  

*As for Black Men...* I indeed give 'props' to the Black men who have stepped up to the plate and have treated Black women with all due honour and pure love and have not disparaged who she is.   If you have a Black man who loves you and wants to marry you... go for it.  Just be happy and most of all, be with God.  Just don't limit yourself.  Please don't be limited. 

Far too long, Black women have been faithful to our culture and our race.  We've given our 'all' and then some more to support the men of our Black heritage.   

As for the 'word' Heritage, it should be honoured beyond the very semantics of its form.    No matter to whom a Black man chooses to marry, he should STILL honour the very existence of Black women.  Did he not come from the loving womb of one?

Men are supposed to be leaders and representatives of Jesus Christ.   I'm speaking to the Black men who need to step up and apologize to the entire Black female race for their sins of abandonment towards her, towards Black women as a whole.   

It doesn't matter that they may have fallen in love with someone outside of a Black female.  It also doesn't matter if they are Pastors, Apostles, or whatever.  When they stand upon that pulpit with their white wives and mixed children,  they *still *radiate the message that a Black woman did suit him; a Black woman was not his appeal, a Black woman wasn't up to his standards, a Black woman wasn't good enough, a Black woman was just that.... she's *Black*!   

There are even *'SOME'* Black men who are married to Black women that make a big deal over those with 'the hair', the lighter skin, the red skin, other races such as the Latinas with the large derrieres, as the 'pretty' women.   

Let me get something straight, before I continue. I'm not speaking from personal rejection.   I have the hair, the lighter brown skin, the hips, the fullness in my top and bottom, I wasn't the one who was shunned.   However, I saw what the cruelty did to my sister who didn't have the same features and she had a richer brown complexion.  I have cousins and friends who were unjustly treated because of their 'features' fairing more to our African culture and not towards European or hispanic or Indian.  

And it HURTS!  *It HURTS!*  And there is nothing that anyone can say about being right with Jesus, to deny the existence of that hurt.   We live in a cruel culture that was specifically geared towards making Black men and women feel as if they were the lessor of every human being upon this planet.  And the women are the ones who have suffered the most from it.   They've been the hardest 'kicked'... kicked to the ground and have had their hearts stomped upon; the dirt of the earth rubbed into their faces, as a thanks for all of the good they've done and for all of the love they've given to others.  

No...    No...    I am not going to preach holiness to a woman whose heart has been torn to shreds and then used as 'compost' to enrich a Black man's choice of someone else whom he feels is better than she.   No...    No  

The women I've prayed with over the years have literally been gutted of their souls and the mortician has been the Black men who have deserted them.  These men have a debt to pay and the debt is way past due. 

Do I believe in God's healing and deliverance for these woman who've had their hearts torn apart?    Indeed I do... and I *always* will believe it.   Do I give license for anyone to be bitter over the pain that's been thrust upon them?   No, for bitterness hinders healing of one's heart and soul.   

Look, I'm simply telling the truth.   Black men don't get to turn their backs on the pain of Black women.   No, they do not.   No matter who they have chosen to marry, they still owe it to their culture and to God (especially if he's a Christian) to honour the lives of Black women and to present them as God's treasures.    This IS the Black man's responsibility to honour his culture, his Black Heritage, His Legacy.    If not, then what's to become of his children if he does not honour his Black Heritage?    It only reproduces another line, another generation of insecurities and self-hatred and more wounded hearts.  What if a Black man did the very same to his daughter, whose features did not turn out so 'white' from his _alliance_ with his white wife? 

What I've noticed about most of the children who are of a mixed race is that   they speak more of being 'other' than Black.    They are 'mixed-proud'.  They take great stock in their mixology.    

Mixed girls/women are quick to say they are mixed, no matter how obvious it is in the natural.   If she's an African American/Latina  or  AA/Dominican, AA/Asian, AA/White, they are quick to tell you that they are the other culture.  They are literally saying, don't call me Black, I'm Latina, Asian, My mother was white, etc.  

It's as if they see it as a curse to acknowledge their 'Black Heritage".   And it doesn't help when Black men encourage this negative mindset by placing them over Black women.

My point is that, any Black woman who has looked upon an IR relationship with disapproval is not without cause.   I'm not defending the bitterness, but I am defending them.   They've been made to feel as an outcast and it is not their doing.  It's what has been done to them and it's still being done even more so with these foolish Black men who give all their love, wealth and honour to someone other than them.    Men like Tiger Woods, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Kobe Bryant... they made a statement by not marrying a Black woman and keeping the wealth in the Black communities.    

I've been blessed to be loved by men of both cultures, yet I cannot and will not abandon my sisters whose hearts have been torn by men who should not have abandoned them. 

Even the Bible speaks of what has been done...

*Psalm 109:4-5*

_For my love they are my adversaries: but I give myself unto prayer.   And they have rewarded me evil for good, and hatred for my love.  _

Selah....


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## Shimmie (May 4, 2012)

Laela said:


> Naww... he's negroid



Don't talk about my brother.    You have one of the best... indeed.   

Tell 'Hubbie' I said... "Hey"...


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## auparavant (May 6, 2012)

Poohbear said:


> I would say culture, social construct, and family upbringing as well as preference...not religious affiliation or inner attitudes. Hope that makes sense.
> 
> Sent via Android LHCF App


 

"Like" that's the problem. Prefer because one wishes to carry on legacy, that's a different story. I can't dislike somebody just because...I have to have a reason and if that reason doesn't line up morally with scripture, then I'm wrong, plain and simply.  I'm trying to further explain and not trying to make a moral judgement...but I just can't fathom not liking just because...makes me nervous lol.


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## Laela (May 7, 2012)

^^^ Yeah, what she said... there has to be a reason. Find the reason, find the root.... pluck it out!


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## Laela (May 7, 2012)

Was trying to be humorous with the outdated scientific term, Shimmie.. lol.. he laughed too, but seriously, I shouldn't have to be married to a "non-black" person to not have a problem with IRs. My goodness..and Amein~




Shimmie said:


> Don't talk about my brother.    You have one of the best... indeed.
> 
> Tell 'Hubbie' I said... "Hey"...


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## Shimmie (May 7, 2012)

Laela said:


> Was trying to be humorous with the outdated scientific term, Shimmie.. lol.. he laughed too, but seriously, I shouldn't have to be married to a "non-black" person to not have a problem with IRs. My goodness..and Amein~



I know you were teasing, I was teasing right back.  :Rose:

I agree that no one should have to marry outside of their race (non-black) to not have problem with IR's.    But the knife is there... a jagged edge blade in the hearts of far too many Black women who have been abandoned by Black men who chose a WM instead of a Black woman... on purpose.  The men have admitted this, time and again, they've admitted their choice was to have someone / something better.

Black woman do not deserve this.  And it's no small wonder why a Black woman, saved or unsaved feels 'some kind of way' when she sees a Black man with a white woman....it's spits at her ----- 'rejection'.   

If God brings a man of a different colour into a Black woman's life, I praise God for giving her what is long overdue... a man who is man enough to love her, cherish her, honour her, take care of her... all the days of their marriage...in Jesus' Name.  

I love married couples... especially those of Black women with a man who loves her, for sure.  

One of my closet friends married an Asian.  They used to work for the same company.  When he began showing an interest in  her, she shared with him that it may be against company policy for them to date.    This man literally went to their HR department to make sure that it was not against company policy to date/marry a co-worker.    As of tomorrow, May 8, they been happily married for 5 years and 8 months.   The love he feels for her is true. 

I just feel so bad that we have men in our culture (and so many of them) who voice their hatred of Black women.  It's so tragic.    Thank God for the Black men who love who they are and love Black women and will never forsake them.   

I'm blessed by these faithful Black men and true men they are, indeed.   

I'm also thankful for the non-Black men who love 'us' as well.   To them we are precious jewels and they treat us as such.    God bless them and shame on the Black men who think otherwise about Black women.


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## Poohbear (May 8, 2012)

Laela said:


> Was trying to be humorous with the outdated scientific term, Shimmie.. lol.. he laughed too, but seriously,* I shouldn't have to be married to a "non-black" person to not have a problem with IRs.* My goodness..and Amein~



Laela

The reason why I asked if you were with a non-black man was only because most people that are in interracial relationships get really sensitive about this issue to the point where they will find every way to make people feel bad about not accepting or preferring interracial relationships.  Not all people that dislike interracial relationships are totally disgusted by them. 

As Shimmie pointed out, it's dislikable when you have some black men who choose to be with white women just because they feel or believe these white women are better than black women. That's what I would say the main reason for disliking interracial relationships.

I just kinda felt like this thread was trying to use the bible or Christian values against people who may not necessarily like interracial relationships. Just because you don't like some interracial relationships doesn't mean that you have a evil, hateful, detestable, heartless, non-Christlike attitude or mindset. Shoot, people are free with whoever they want to be with.


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## auparavant (May 8, 2012)

I know this is another topic...but I hate to get "caught" looking at people with obvious problems.  I'm talking about those blacks (male/female) who are with their mixed kids and see somebody else of color and start propping themselves up to be seen.  Anybody know what I mean?  I truly don't care.  But just last night, I was behind this man going into the library very slowly, so, in between double entrance, there were some kids bouncing around  just in front of the other entrance door and then I saw their black mother.  She doubled back, stared and stayed right there rather than removing the kids from the way and tried to get me to "acknowledge" her.  I usually don't notice folks with much interest unless it's jewelry, or attraction etc.  But this lady....SMH...it's like they are LOOKING for BW who will "hate" them.  They are no better than these BM out here doing the same thing and voicing their disgust all over the place.  It's just not right. My disgust is not at IR but at those who have such an issue with it on either side of that pendulum.  It's just people.  Shrugs.


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## LucieLoo12 (May 9, 2012)

I know exactly what you mean. I have seen it too. Like IR sometimes automatically get defensive about thier relationship before an oppostion is even made. But they do get alot of attacks, so I guess I can understand it. But like when you see a black man with a white woman, and he pulls her closer and tighter around when a black woman comes around ..I just dont understand that. If you are happy, no need to make a "scene" about it...




auparavant said:


> I know this is another topic...but I hate to get "caught" looking at people with obvious problems. I'm talking about those blacks (male/female) who are with their mixed kids and see somebody else of color and start propping themselves up to be seen. Anybody know what I mean? I truly don't care. But just last night, I was behind this man going into the library very slowly, so, in between double entrance, there were some kids bouncing around just in front of the other entrance door and then I saw their black mother. She doubled back, stared and stayed right there rather than removing the kids from the way and tried to get me to "acknowledge" her. I usually don't notice folks with much interest unless it's jewelry, or attraction etc. But this lady....SMH...it's like they are LOOKING for BW who will "hate" them. They are no better than these BM out here doing the same thing and voicing their disgust all over the place. It's just not right. My disgust is not at IR but at those who have such an issue with it on either side of that pendulum. It's just people. Shrugs.


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## Laela (May 9, 2012)

I know exactly what you mean...about efforts to go out of their way in public, and frankly, that's a sign of insecurity. I've also seen white women do this as well... once, one called out to her mixed children and it got my attention and I looked around..I didn't even notice them until she did that..    You're right..people are people 




auparavant said:


> She doubled back, stared and stayed right there rather than removing the kids from the way and tried to get me to "acknowledge" her.  I usually don't notice folks with much interest unless it's jewelry, or attraction etc.  But this lady....SMH...it's like they are LOOKING for BW who will "hate" them.  They are no better than these BM out here doing the same thing and voicing their disgust all over the place.   .


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## Laela (May 9, 2012)

OK well at this point, I'll let this rest, because if I'm coming off as sensitive or defending IRs when I'm not even in one, that says a lot about your perspective... 




Poohbear said:


> Laela
> 
> The reason why I asked if you were with a non-black man was only because most people that are in interracial relationships get really sensitive about this issue to the point where they will find every way to make people feel bad about not accepting or preferring interracial relationships.  Not all people that dislike interracial relationships are totally disgusted by them.


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## Poohbear (May 9, 2012)

Alicialynn86 said:


> I know exactly what you mean. I have seen it too. Like IR sometimes automatically get defensive about thier relationship before an oppostion is even made. But they do get alot of attacks, so I guess I can understand it. *But like when you see a black man with a white woman, and he pulls her closer and tighter around when a black woman comes around ..I just dont understand that. If you are happy, no need to make a "scene" about it...*


I don't get that either, but I've seen the opposite happen... once the black man spots a black woman, he will walk slower than his white woman or not be as close to her as before. Why do that if you're supposedly comfortable being with this white woman?


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## Poohbear (May 9, 2012)

Laela said:


> OK well at this point, I'll let this rest, because if I'm coming off as sensitive or defending IRs when I'm not even in one, that says a lot about your perspective...



Laela
What does it say about my perspective since you know so much? That I'm ungodly and insecure like you said about people disliking IRs in your first post in your thread? Get out of here with that mess! People want to make like every thought and feeling is ungodly to cover up for their own personal sins that are clearly stated as sins in the Bible. I've stated my perspective... it's nothing more or less than what you think. Disliking interracial relationships is not ungodly if you are not hating those people.


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## aribell (May 9, 2012)

Laela said:


> OK well at this point, I'll let this rest, because if I'm coming off as sensitive or defending IRs when I'm not even in one, that says a lot about your perspective...



Truthfully Laela, the tone of your response to my first post caught me quite off guard.  Not meant to be a "calling out" in any way, it's just that I think that some things have been read into the perspectives of those who don't feel the "kumbayaa"-ness of IR relationships; and I don't think reading such negativity into those posts is necessary.


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## auparavant (May 9, 2012)

If I may ask, what do people feel about interracional children from those unions? Do you feel any kind of tension towards them?




Laela said:


> I know exactly what you mean...about efforts to go out of their way in public, and frankly, that's a sign of insecurity. I've also seen white women do this as well... once, one called out to her mixed children and it got my attention and I looked around..I didn't even notice them until she did that..  You're right..people are people


 
They never know who is multiracial and are charging folks who have no problem with other humanity.  If we consider the source of man, what's to dislike?  Everybody came from 2 parents, who had the life of G-d breathed into them, forming their bodies from the same earth we all walk on.  If I also consider the migration of human throughout the world, we're all "mixed" and some of us more recently than the ancients.


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## Poohbear (May 9, 2012)

auparavant said:


> If I may ask, what do people feel about interracional children from those unions? Do you feel any kind of tension towards them?



I personally feel just fine about interracial children from interracial unions. I feel no tension towards them at all.


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