# Overcoming the Hurt of Other People's Words



## Reminiscing (Oct 20, 2009)

Hi Ladies,

I wanted to share something with you that's been on my mind....

My heart has been in pain for a long time now.  I've been hurting from a terrible break up that happened almost 3 years ago.  I've been hurting from a longtime friendship ending recently.  I've been hurting from my cousins talking badly about my sister and I.  I've just flat out been hurting and when I stopped and thought about the cause of all the pain, I realized it's from the words and actions of other people.  

I no longer want the guy that I broke up with 3 years ago, so my tears aren't over that, but when I think about how it happened, the words and his actions, it still hurts to know that someone I loved felt I deserved to be treated that way.  

I know the recent ending of a longtime friendship was from God because my friend's influence was pulling me away from God rather than to Him.  And even more confirmation is that I don't miss the friendship with her, but I do hurt from the words that were said when it ended.  

I love my family with all my heart but I have a set of cousins that like to talk down about my sister and I.  Their recurring joke on us is that they're all married and we're both single.  They constantly remind us that there must be something wrong with us for being single.  Now, I know confidently that I've followed the path God set for me.  He gave me education first, then career and next will be the husband.  God and I have talked it over and I know that what he has for me will be, but the ridicule in my cousins' words still hurts.  

So where does this all leave me?  It leaves me with lots of sleepless nights, last night included.  I woke up very sad yesterday so I sat at work searching the internet for devotions to encourage me.  I found one that said you have to praise Him in the storm.  I wanted to start shouting at work but I couldn't so I made up my mind to praise Him as soon as I get home.  But of course from nights of not sleeping, I fell asleep on the couch before I could praise Him.  But God woke me up around 3am and He reminded me that I had to praise Him.  I was too tired to pray out loud so I decided to write a few words in my prayer book but guess what NONE of my pens would work.  I had a brand new box of pens next to my bed and NONE of them would work.  God knew my praise needed to be loud and bold.  Writing is great but in the midst of the storm I needed to shout.  

So, I started praying and shouting (not too loud cause I didn't want to scare the neighbors) but enough that the tears started flowing and in the midst of it God reminded me of Psalms 56, which I heard read as a poem a few weeks ago in church.

To me Psalms 56 is a prayer of protection against the harm of others.  The psalmist starts out by telling God that he is afraid because he is being attacked daily by man but when he gets to verse 4 he says...

4 In God I will praise his word,
   In God I have put my trust,
        I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.

Then he continues on to say in verse 9...

9 When I cry unto thee,
*then shall my enemies turn back:*
        this I know;* for God is for me*

And he follows that up in verse 11 to say once again...

11  In God have I put my trust:
          I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.

You see God is our ultimate protector.  He is above anything man can do to us.  He is ready to fight all our battles and all we have to do to put Him in action is to *PRAISE* His word, *CRY* unto Him and put our *TRUST* in Him.  Once we've done these 3 things the rest is up to Him.

Please pray for me ladies.  The Lord is truly working on my heart.  I feel sad now and again but I know the ultimate healing of my sadness rests in God's hands.  I've accepted that every pain has a purpose and I will stay faithful to Him until he reveals that purpose.

God Bless you all!


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## poookie (Oct 20, 2009)

Very powerful.  Thank you so much for sharing this.  I've been hurting as well, in the last week i've lost a friendship, and have had some pretty hurtful things said & done to me as well.  I've been reading the bible but haven't really found the right verses to give me comfort.  This really helps.  I am truly thankful for this forum & to God who allowed me to stumble right into it


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## Butterfly08 (Oct 20, 2009)

I am touched by these posts. I have experienced something similar. I am at work right now but I will respond tonight. Let me quickly say that PRAISING GOD whether I feel like it or not has freed me from a lot of negative emotions and baggage. Praising God lifts your burdens and brings supernatural peace and joy - it also reinforces that HE is able to carry all of your burdens for you. 

I have also started journaling to release my emotions, but for some people it may be more beneficial to actually talk to someone - a minister, counselor, parent, etc.

I promise, I'll be back to write more!


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## SND411 (Oct 20, 2009)

Wow, what a powerful post. It broke my heart to know that people were making you feel miserable. Continue to praise and pray to God. God bless you for this post. I will dwell on this today


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## MsDeeDee82 (Oct 20, 2009)

I am going through a recent friendship break up that keeps me up late at night. Your hit me at the right spot !


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## joy2day (Oct 20, 2009)

Sis, I know what you are going through...it seems that all of my life, people have been putting their mouth on me. I spent the better part of my 30+++ years with no self-esteem and in depression. Finally, (and I can't tell you exactly when and how it happened), I just decided one day to "be free." The Lord said in the Word, "He whom the Son sets free is free indeed." So God wants you to be free too. That why you got to open your mouth and praise Him!

As you continue to praise God, just remember that He brought you through all of this for His purpose. He is setting the stage for a blessing in your life that you are not going to have room to receive. And, as for your cousins, they are going to witness how God is going to bless you and your sister, and then these same cousins, will open their mouths and give God glory for what He is going to do in both your lives, they are going to marvel at what God is bringing to you. Just watch...God has a table prepared just for you!


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## Butterfly08 (Oct 20, 2009)

Praise is a POWERFUL WEAPON. That is why the enemy does not want you to use it! He wants to keep you sad, bound, depressed and lonely. BUMP him!!!  Praise God ANYWAY and watch him deliver you MIGHTILY! 

_I will call on the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies." 2 Samuel 22:4_

I just completed the 10 day praise challenge and God really moved on my behalf. A couple days in, after being on the market 2 years in a row with NO OFFERS, we finally received an offer on our house! The couple loves it, and we are now under contract!!!

But this was a challenge right? So a few days in, my praise was challenged when a dear (but ungodly) friendship finally ended. My heart was broken. Through my tears I told God to break me and rebuild me to be like Him. Later that day I continued my praise (I dance to gospel music for about 30 minutes and praise Him out loud) and I haven't cried since!! 

Additionally, another long term relationship just ended badly. The person lied on me over and over. But I am letting my Father handle it, and continuing to praise God, even though I do get a little angry at times. And amazingly, my emotions have been stabilized, and I am happy and at PEACE! I am also more in tune with God and able to hear more clearly His direction and wisdom for my life.

Sometimes God allows hurtful situations to occur so that we will draw closer to Him. That is actually a blessing, because we learn that we can fully and wholly depend upon ONLY HIM. We get to see His face, feel His love, and experience His healing power in a way that we can't do when we're surrounded by people. Job experiences are painful, but they are also where we grow tremendously, and God WILL restore everything you've felt you have lost.

And one day you will be able to encourage someone else who is going through what you are. Because too many people are walking around bound because of some harsh and ugly words that have been spoken over them.

Here is a song that I love to praise to - FREE INDEED: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5Z1...305E4033&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=22

BE BLESSED!!


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## Shimmie (Oct 20, 2009)

Reminiscing said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> I wanted to share something with you that's been on my mind....
> 
> ...


 
You've shared a beautiful thread which will heal many hearts which have been broken.   

My I share this?   

Your cousins are telling on themselves.   Otherwise they'd be full of joy without a disparaging word upon you and your sister.    

Remember Cinderella and her step sisters?     

Okay, I'l come back to her, I pull out scripture instead.

Remember how Hagar became smug towards Sarah?   Hagar gave Abraham s son, Sarah had not done so............ YET!   (Hold on to 'yet').  

Hagar later encouraged Ishmael to tease Issac ... total insecurity.

Remember Pinniah teased and mocked Hannah?   Pinneah gave Hannah's husband sons,  Hannah had not done so ................. "YET"! 

Now why weren't these women full of joy instead of teasing and putting down, Sarah and Hannah?    I mean they had the 'desire' of their hearts, did they not?   

Or did they?     

No, they did not.   These women were unfulfilled and displayed their hearts of emptiness, by casting it upon the object of their insecurities. 

If they were happy, they'd be too busy with their joy to have any time to tease or talk down to someone else.   From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  And from their hearts speaks what's inside... no joy. 

You quoted one of my favorite scriptures that God gave me when my sister did the very same, to me and my children.   I had the Lord in my heart, she did not and it messes with her even until now.   But the more she disparages me and my children, the more God keeps showing up and blessing me and my 'seed', (my children).   

Here's something, that He gave me and it will bless you.   

Psalm 23...

"Thou prepareth a table before me in the presence of mine enemies." 

They cannot curse you, for whom and what God has blessed, no man can curse.  

May I tell you why they continue to speak badly about you and your sister and why it won't seem to stop?  

Each time they speak evil of you and your sister is a negative seed and harvest which they are sowing and reaping unto themselves.  It's a revolving cycle that they keep spinning back towards their hearts.  And so, it more and more from the abundance of their hearts, which their mouths speak, because this is what they keep recycling in and out of their hearts.    A vicious cycle.   

So!   That's takes me back to Cinderella and her step sisters.  

  Blessings Sweetheart.... rejoice.  For what they speak is a reflection of them, not you.  You and your sister are not the fulfilllment of their discontentment.   They are.   

You are free to stop Reminencing over their mess and look up and forward to the joys of life which God hath prepared for you, in the presence of thine enemies.   :

Psalm 46.... God is in the midst of you (and your sister) and you shall not be moved.  :Rose:


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## inthepink (Oct 20, 2009)

Thank you for posting this as you took some words right out of my very own mouth.

It is so hard to get over harsh words that were said to you.  

What I've done lately, is just try not to let myself go there.  I try not to relive the incidents and just remind myself to immediately think of something else.

Have you also tried to forgive the other person for the harsh words?  One thing I have learned from various sermons and reading is that someone gives you harsh words because of how they are feeling. They want you to feel the same pain that they are feeling.  Their pain typically has nothing to do with you - you were just the outlet.  I think the forgiveness part is important (or at least the recognition) because if you don't, you'll carry around the same pain and give it to someone else.  I call it poison.

Sometimes I think that God gives us clues about the people he wants in and out of our lives.  Sometimes we listen to him and sometimes we ignore him and allow ourselves to be doormats.  But God's will still will be done.  It may be a much harder experience but he will remove the person from our lives.

Anyways, I just wanted to say that you're not alone and wow, I don't think i ever realized how much harsh words can affect someone and affect us for so long until I experienced it myself.

I pray that you will be able to stop hearing those words over and over again in your mind and that you certainly won't start to believe them.


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## inthepink (Oct 20, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> These women were unfulfilled and displayed their hearts of emptiness, by casting it upon the object of their insecurities.
> 
> If they were happy, they'd be too busy with their joy to have any time to tease or talk down to someone else.   From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.  *And from their hearts speaks what's inside... no joy. *



This is so true!


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## Reminiscing (Oct 21, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> You've shared a beautiful thread which will heal many hearts which have been broken.
> 
> My I share this?
> 
> ...



Thank you Shimmie for this.  My mother tells me all the time that my cousins only tease us because they're unhappy with what they have and wish they could go back and do things differently.  I don't let their words create doubt in myself.  It just gets me down sometimes that people you love actually want to hurt you and despite the number times we've asked them to stop they continue anyway.  But, with God's help I've turned the ignore button on and while my ears may still hear their words, my heart will not feel it anymore.


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## Reminiscing (Oct 21, 2009)

hairlove said:


> Have you also tried to forgive the other person for the harsh words?  One thing I have learned from various sermons and reading is that someone gives you harsh words because of how they are feeling. They want you to feel the same pain that they are feeling.  Their pain typically has nothing to do with you - you were just the outlet.  I think the forgiveness part is important (or at least the recognition) because if you don't, you'll carry around the same pain and give it to someone else.  I call it poison.




HairLove - Yes, I have forgiven them but I guess what I haven't succeeded at yet is forgetting.  Thankfully though through all of this I am not a bitter person at all.  I refuse to talk badly about my ex-boyfriend because I feel that holding on to the anger is me allowing him to still have control over my emotions.  I don't talk badly about my cousins either.  I look out for them so much that it makes their words to me hurt even more.  But I'm taking some distance from them now.  It's time for me to look out for me.

And to all the ladies on here who have posted about being hurt, thanks so much for sharing your stories.  It's sad to know that there's so many broken hearts in this world but there's also something comforting in knowing that we're not in this alone.   One thing to hold on to is that we all must be doing something right because if everything we're doing was wrong then the devil wouldn't be attacking us so hard.  It's know it's hard to believe sometimes but there is a purpose for this pain.  I pray that we all find peace and comfort soon and that God's purpose and plan will be revealed.


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## preciouzone (Oct 21, 2009)

Thanks for sharing what you are going through. 

The truth is Hurt People, Hurt People. And I am speaking from
personal experience as well. I've been hurt by others words and
actions and have been on the opposite end of hurting people with
my words and actions. I didn't realize how hurt I was at the time,
the bitterness, the resentment, etc. It was easy for me to find 
another person that was tolerant and that I felt was easy to "pick on". 

That was the work of the enemy. I allowed those roots to be deeply
rooted within me and it grew and grew until God revealed these things
to me.

I know that I am a work in progress. I have rekindled the relationships
with the people that I intentionally unintentionally hurt in the past and 
can honestly say that I feel no bad thing towards anyone... even those
that hurt me. 

I instead pray for them. I pray that God will restore their
hearts and that He will heal them and deliver them from the hurt and 
pains that they are casting. 

One last thing, I feel that the reason those words and actions are effecting
you still somehow is because you are emotionally attached to them. It's not
so much the person(s) but the words and actions... they are seeds. And turning
to God and putting the situations in His hands will be great insurance from having
those seeds produce bad fruits in your life and spirit. 

I believe in *Romans 8:28* so much...
"*And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to
them who are called according to His purpose.*" -- Yes, all things happen on purpose
for a purpose which is so much bigger than what our eyes can see and mind can conceive. 
All in all, it is Gods plan and purpose that will prevail!


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## MSee (Oct 21, 2009)

I just had to lift up a friend who finally caved in to the cutting blade of sword like tongues. Thing is not too long ago another friend saved me from going under. OP your post will bless many people because we are living in a time when "they that live godly in Christ will suffer persecution" and amazingly it's like the tongue has become the enemies weapon of chcice against many of God's children. It's very tough also when the instruments he (satan) uses are not only those close to you, but people who are themselves Christians. 

To the poster who said they have forgiven but not forgotten, relax, it is not always possible to forget wrongs done. You have to learn the lesson so you are better equipped if you see the signs showing up again and also decide whether it's safer to love them from a distance etc.

The Psalms have become my hiding place when I go through. I was led to many Psalms during my time of crying out to God for help after being lied on, lied to, lied about, insulted, berated, betrayed and down right taken for granted. One thing that stood out was that many of the Psalmist's battles were against the enemy's words and many times the enemies were 'friends'. God always causes his children to triumph so as you go through these things don't be afraid to let the tears flow them dry them and fight for your joy. It will be the strength you need till God shows up and lift you higher. Yes higher, how can you be promoted without being tested. Tell the perpetrators thanks, God was just using them promote you.

And check out Psalms 37, it will give you reasons to whoop and hallllerrr


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## Reminiscing (Oct 21, 2009)

preciouzone said:


> One last thing, I feel that the reason those words and actions are effecting
> you still somehow is because you are emotionally attached to them. It's not so much the person(s) but the words and actions... they are seeds. And turning to God and putting the situations in His hands will be great insurance from having those seeds produce bad fruits in your life and spirit.



Seeds...  You described it perfectly!  I couldn't think of a way to really explain how deep the hurt can go sometimes but you summed it up in one word.  The hurt is seeds that are rooted in the heart.  And turning to God can remove those seeds.  Very powerful!  Thank you.



MSee said:


> And check out Psalms 37, it will give you reasons to whoop and hallllerrr



Just read Psalms 37 and all I have to say is wow!! God's promise to protect his people from the enemy is all over the book or Psalms.  Psalms 35 is another one that I read from time to time but it's so strong that I sometimes get scared for my enemies.  They have no idea what their destruction is going to bring them .   Thank God I'm covered under the blood!


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## Butterfly08 (Oct 21, 2009)

MSee said:


> *It's very tough also when the instruments he (satan) uses are not only those close to you, but people who are themselves Christians. *
> 
> The Psalms have become my hiding place when I go through. I was led to many Psalms during my time of crying out to God for help after being lied on, lied to, lied about, insulted, berated, betrayed and down right taken for granted. One thing that stood out was that many of the Psalmist's battles were against the enemy's words and many times the enemies were 'friends'. *God always causes his children to triumph* so as you go through these things don't be afraid to let the tears flow them dry them and fight for your joy. It will be the strength you need till God shows up and lift you higher. Yes higher, how can you be promoted without being tested. Tell the perpetrators thanks, God was just using them promote you.
> 
> *And check out Psalms 37,* it will give you reasons to whoop and hallllerrr


 
 Love all of this. Ps 37:4 is my theme scripture - Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.


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## inthepink (Oct 22, 2009)

Reminiscing said:


> HairLove - Yes, I have forgiven them but I guess what I haven't succeeded at yet is forgetting.  Thankfully though through all of this I am not a bitter person at all.  I refuse to talk badly about my ex-boyfriend because I feel that holding on to the anger is me allowing him to still have control over my emotions.  I don't talk badly about my cousins either.  I look out for them so much that it makes their words to me hurt even more.  But I'm taking some distance from them now.  It's time for me to look out for me.



You are so right about forgetting.  That is one tough thing to do.  I struggle with that also so I get where you're coming from.  I hope it gets better for you.


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## Prudent1 (Oct 22, 2009)

"Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me..." That is from a popular chant we said when I was I child but what a lie it was. Words are often underrated but oh so powerful. After all, it was words that caused all things that exist to be made with the exception of human beings. Everyone here has once again spoken so well. I would like to add a few of my own thoughts/ experiences to this post. Always remember the ppl who must repeatedly say I'm this or I'm that are insecure. Shimmie is so right. Whatever is in your heart good or bad will come out under the right circumstances. Hurting ppl hurt ppl because misery loves company...

God will not allow his children to permanently be the butt of cruel jokes. We look like lambs lead to slaughter but in the end those who persevere win- period. God restores our very souls. Keep praising. Your victory is in your praise.


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

I am working out and walking out healing in this area myself

wounds to my soul


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## LifeafterLHCF (Oct 26, 2009)

I swear CF is the best.It never amazes how many people are going through what I'm going through.Words hurt.Words have power and life and death.I remember when my step father would say oh you will never be it..you will be knocked up with 2 babies at 17 in the projects,you will never graduate hs or college..oh your fat you should just be a dike bc no good man will wont your ugly behind.See now I know that what the devil meant to destroy me God has used it for my good.I know that God is slowly taking the baggage out of me so I can be free.Im not a bible bumper yet but I know that God's word is pure.I love to think of Pslams 30:5.This has brought me through many storms...Lord help everyone who reads this thread to be blessed and not leave out the same way they came in.


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## Reminiscing (Oct 26, 2009)

Ladies, I just want to let you know that since that night I cried out to the Lord and read that wonderful Psalm, I have slept peacefully every night.  I know there will be more storms ahead but for now I'm enjoying the peace and the much needed sleep that God has given me and I'm trusting that he will keep this peace in my heart when the next storm hits.  Thanks for all your prayers.  Please keep praying for me as I do the same for you.


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## joy2day (Oct 26, 2009)

Praise God Sis, nothing in the world like the sleep you get when you are resting in the Lord! I pray that the Lord would give you an abundance of peaceful nights and sweet dreams...


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## WorkInProgress88 (Oct 29, 2009)

i just want to let you ladies know that each and every one of you guys are a blessing! i needed all those scriptures and encouraging words. My joy has been restored!


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## Ms_Twana (Nov 2, 2009)

Thanks OP. I needed this thread. I have two supervisors that are MEAN...very, very MEAN. They have it out for my department. They keep trying to find something that we've done wrong. The environment is becoming so stressful for me. I cried to my husband about it two nights ago. I kept asking God what I am supposed to be getting out of this situation and what I am supposed to do. I asked him to please remove me from there. 

Well, EVERYTHING that was talked about in church today was God's message to me. He reminded me that I am to continue to do good to even those that are doing evil to me. Our scripture for today was Romans 12: 1-2. Verse 2 stuck out to me the most:

_Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will._​I had been going with the worldly motto of "you have to give respect in order to get respect." So when my supervisors were mean or nasty, I was mean and nasty right back; thinking "I'm a grown woman. They're not going to talk to me like that." But that's not what God wants. He wants me to continue to live by His word, not matter WHAT they do to me.​ 
During the youth inspiration, one of the ministers read a story about a man carrying a cross. The cross was too heavy for him, and he asked God to lighten his load. God did, and the man cut the cross down some. All the other people around him continued to carry their cross. Everytime the man felt his cross was too heavy, he'd ask God to lighten his load, then he'd cut the cross some. Well, the road ended at one point, and there was a huge gap in between where the road ended, and where it started again. The man noticed that the other people carrying a cross laid their cross down to get to the other side. However, when he tried to use his cross, it was too short to lay down. And that was due to him asking for God to lighten his load so much. 

So, with all that being said, I realize that this situation that I'm in is a HUGE burden on my body and spirit right now; but it's giving me the tools that I need to cross to the other side where my blessings await me. I realize I am in this situation so that I may go to him in prayer and trust in him. But although I realize those things, it is still going to be hard for me to actually DO God's will. It will be hard for me to let go and let God. So I will just continue to pray that God continues to work with me. Because I know that if I trust in Him, He will handle my situation at work. And once he's done handling it, He'll get me to the other side, where my blessing is. 


Sorry my post was so long. But I thank God for yet another avenue for me to improve myself as a person. I feel soooo much better now that I've gotten that off of my chest!!!


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## Reminiscing (Nov 2, 2009)

Ms. Twana, I've been in your place several times.  On my first job in my industry my boss had no shame in letting me know that her main goal was to get me fired.  Then on my next job, my co-worker had no shame in telling me that I didn't deserve a promotion simply because she was older than me and she was going to show everyone that I didn't deserve it.  Then when I first started my current job, they hired me to be a manager but the producer I'm working with treated me like an assistant.  He talked down to me and it made me angry.

In each situation, I had lots of days where I went home crying but in the end I came out victorious in every situation.  Even when it got so bad that I couldn't pray, God saw my tears and when he was ready he brought me out of the storm and brought me to heights I never expected.  In the first situation, he gave me a new job that paid me double what I was getting.  In the second situation, he gave me the promotion plus two raises in less than a year.  And in the third situation, I was hired as a manager but by the time God got through with the Producer who tried to keep me back, I'm now a Producer also and that Producer has no say over me.

God is good!!!  Can I say it again?  GOD IS GOOD!!!!  Ms. Twana, hold on because there is a rainbow at the end of this storm.  Get a good umbrella and take cover because when the lighting hits, it will get rough but IT WILL PASS.

God bless you my sister!


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## Ms_Twana (Nov 2, 2009)

Reminiscing said:


> Ms. Twana, I've been in your place several times. On my first job in my industry my boss had no shame in letting me know that her main goal was to get me fired. Then on my next job, my co-worker had no shame in telling me that I didn't deserve a promotion simply because she was older than me and she was going to show everyone that I didn't deserve it. Then when I first started my current job, they hired me to be a manager but the producer I'm working with treated me like an assistant. He talked down to me and it made me angry.
> 
> In each situation, I had lots of days where I went home crying but in the end I came out victorious in every situation. Even when it got so bad that I couldn't pray, God saw my tears and when he was ready he brought me out of the storm and brought me to heights I never expected. In the first situation, he gave me a new job that paid me double what I was getting. In the second situation, he gave me the promotion plus two raises in less than a year. And in the third situation, I was hired as a manager but by the time God got through with the Producer who tried to keep me back, I'm now a Producer also and that Producer has no say over me.
> 
> ...


 
I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I'm still at work, so I'm trying not to cry. Thank you SOOOO much for your words. And thank GOD for putting those words on your heart. I know my Lord will take care of me. I prayed and prayed and shouted and prayed some more this morning on my way to work. 

I've been nice to both of my supervisors today, talking to them, offering my help, even something as small as saying "thank you." And let me tell you, that was definitely an improvement. I barely even said Hi to them before. I only talked to them if they asked me a question directly. And I tried to do that through email so that I didn't have to see them face to face. I did all of this AFTER my co-worker told me about one of them making the comment that "that's why some folks aren't administrators." They know that I want to become a school administrator. And the funny thing is that the ONLY  reason that the asst. principal (person that made that comment) is an administrator is because he is good friends with the principal. It bothered me for a little bit today. But I snapped out of it and laughed, cuz my Lord's got something in store for me!!! No matter how hard they may try to blackball me; what's for me is for me. Nobody can stop God's blessing for me. 

I definitely see a change in myself today. I thank God for it, and I ask that he continues to transform and renew my mind.


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## Reminiscing (Nov 2, 2009)

Ms_Twana said:


> I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I'm still at work, so I'm trying not to cry. Thank you SOOOO much for your words. And thank GOD for putting those words on your heart. I know my Lord will take care of me. I prayed and prayed and shouted and prayed some more this morning on my way to work.
> 
> *I've been nice to both of my supervisors today, talking to them, offering my help, even something as small as saying "thank you." And let me tell you, that was definitely an improvement.* I barely even said Hi to them before. I only talked to them if they asked me a question directly. And I tried to do that through email so that I didn't have to see them face to face. I did all of this AFTER my co-worker told me about one of them making the comment that "that's why some folks aren't administrators." They know that I want to become a school administrator. And the funny thing is that the ONLY  reason that the asst. principal (person that made that comment) is an administrator is because he is good friends with the principal. It bothered me for a little bit today. But I snapped out of it and laughed, cuz my Lord's got something in store for me!!! No matter how hard they may try to blackball me; what's for me is for me. Nobody can stop God's blessing for me.
> 
> I definitely see a change in myself today. I thank God for it, and I ask that he continues to transform and renew my mind.



I already see your rainbow trying to break through the clouds.


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## Stacy TheLady (Nov 2, 2009)

Hi Ladies, I love checking you all out here. I just have my two cents and I keep it general to avoid any differences in religion. 

These situations, no matter how difficult, always build us, especially spiritually. Your Iman (faith) is built and so too your Sabr (patience). I takes so much though to let go of bad feelings especially from hurtful actions and words.

I have been through a situation with a very close GF of mine, who i no longer talk to. I still think about the things that she did. Her actions were louder than her words and that hurt alot. I was at a morphing stage in my life where i was getting closer to God and she was trying to keep me in a life that was quickly spiralling out of control. But God is so great, He dissolved that so called friendship so that i can be grounded in a more respectful lifestyle.

Eventually i got over our misunderstanding by about 90% and accepted that our lives need to take different directions and that I was chosen to be a lady; TheLady!

However, the hurt of other people's words stick with me for a really long time. So much so that i verbally say i forgive them but am not too sure if i really do. I have flashbacks and actually relive moments where people saythings to me that really hurt me.

I know praying about it seems to be the only way to get over this pain but there are words from one particular person that lingers and I build up anger sometimes and just have an outburst or get very very reserved and keep to myself on occassion. I also find myself not being social so i can avoid having to deal with such situations.

But, I am hopeful that God will heal my emotional scars and I can truly say I forgive and mean it and move on.


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## Ms_Twana (Nov 2, 2009)

Reminiscing said:


> I already see your rainbow trying to break through the clouds.


 
Thank you for the big hug!!! 



Stacy TheLady said:


> Hi Ladies, I love checking you all out here. I just have my two cents and I keep it general to avoid any differences in religion.
> 
> These situations, no matter how difficult, always build us, especially spiritually. Your Iman (faith) is built and so too your Sabr (patience). *I takes so much though to let go of bad feelings especially from hurtful actions and words.*
> 
> ...


 
First of all, I love that we can all come together here and support eachother as women. No matter our religious beliefs!!! 

The bolded parts are sooo true. It is sooo hard to let go of bad feelings. Right before I was nice, I saw my asst. principal and wanted to roll my eyes sooo bad. I haven't told myself that I forgive them yet, because I know my heart doesn't. I really want to though. so I will continue to pray about that. 

Stacy, one of the reasons that God wants us to forgive is because harboring those bad feelings allow such evil spirits and thought to linger on within us. When we let go, forgive, and move on, we are allowing the goodness of God to be within. I will pray for you when I pray for myself on this issue. The way that I am trying to get myself through it is to say to myself, "I will NOT allow them to make me miss out on my blessing." And essentially, when we are not living God's word, we are missing out on his blessings.


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## Stacy TheLady (Nov 2, 2009)

So true Ms Twana, i will rememeber that because I find myself mentally grumbling about things from the past and harbouring negative feelings and then bad thoughts come to my mind and i want to say or do something to get even BUT revenge is NOT mine or any of ours. We must forgive and I will bemore sincere in my supplications concerning this. Hope we all do!


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## Aggie (Nov 6, 2009)

Subscribing to read later...


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