# Man and a woman living together.....



## Renewed1 (Oct 21, 2009)

The scenario I have in mind is a practicing Christrian woman is going through some hard times and moves in with a male friend of hers?

Is this bibically wrong?



We all know a dating couple (man and woman) shouldn't live together unless they are married. I'm really referring to if the man and woman are *just friends, never been anything more than that. *


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## BrooklynSouth (Oct 21, 2009)

*To me..not wrong should they be simply good friends with a truly platonic relationship..both have their own bedrooms and separate areas of the house. The perception of impropriety is the real problem for a Christian. *


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## Renewed1 (Oct 22, 2009)

BrooklynSouth said:


> *To me..not wrong should they be simply good friends with a truly platonic relationship..both have their own bedrooms and separate areas of the house. The perception of impropriety is the real problem for a Christian. *


 
I agree with your statement.  I've known Christian women to live with guys both parties had their own bedroom (but may have shared a bathroom, kitchen, etc); but they never had anything more than a platonic friendship with their male friends. 

I always wondered why a platonic male/female friend living together was such a no-no in the Christrian world.  I sorta understand the argument of tempetation.....but you still have a choice to accept the tempetation or not.


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## Laela (Oct 22, 2009)

I wouldn't say it's Biblically wrong if they are really just friends..don't have a scripture for that.  But I agree with Brooklyn South all the way. Is her male friend also a practicing Christian? If not, it's an unequally yolked situation that's a recipe for disaster.


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## ThickHair (Oct 22, 2009)

I guess I may be a bit judgemental on this and I can acknowledge that.  BUT, out of all the people to be a roommate with, a person finds a person of the opposite sex?  Why not same sex?  I don't understand the "Oh, I don't get along with other women" line?  If that is the case then you may have bigger problems with your christianity if you can't get along with a person of the same sex.

Just tossing that out there as food for thought to open up more discussion.


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## Lucia (Oct 22, 2009)

Being just friends doesn't justify it, when either of them are asked have you ever lived with a man or woman they can't honestly say no cause they did live with them, then their future husband or wife will always wonder if maybe something more didn't go on and they're lying about it.  It jut opens the door to alot of distrust and doubt, if you're following those strict rules, that is not just Christianity but Muslims etc... then it's a really bad idea cause you are going against those beliefs you say you're honoring.  
Why do something that makes you look wrong or guilty even when you haven't done anything.


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## HeChangedMyName (Oct 22, 2009)

It's technically ok,  However, Christians are to be "seen" as representatives of Christ .  The living arrangements could be "seen" by a non-Christian as something it's not and that could potentially give someone the wrong impression about what being a Christian is.


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## SND411 (Oct 22, 2009)

Changed said:


> I agree with your statement.  I've known Christian women to live with guys both parties had their own bedroom (but may have shared a bathroom, kitchen, etc); but they never had anything more than a platonic friendship with their male friends.
> 
> *I always wondered why a platonic male/female friend living together was such a no-no in the Christrian world.*  I sorta understand the argument of tempetation.....but you still have a choice to accept the tempetation or not.


Because of paranoia


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## SND411 (Oct 22, 2009)

HeChangedMyName said:


> It's technically ok,  However, Christians are to be "seen" as representatives of Christ .  The living arrangements could be "seen" by a non-Christian as something it's not and that could potentially give someone the wrong impression about what being a Christian is.



But couldn't this be a testimony to non-Christians that Christian men and women are able to see each other as more than sex objects?


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## Lucia (Oct 22, 2009)

Changed said:


> I agree with your statement.  I've known Christian women to live with guys both parties had their own bedroom (but may have shared a bathroom, kitchen, etc); but they never had anything more than a platonic friendship with their male friends.
> 
> I always wondered why a platonic male/female friend living together was such a no-no in the Christrian world.  I sorta understand the argument of tempetation.....but you still have a choice to accept the tempetation or not.



IT's prob b/c you won't be able to truly defend yourself if the question of you being virtuous and true ever came up, their would always be doubt.  




			
				AfriPrincess411 said:
			
		

> But couldn't this be a testimony to non-Christians that Christian men and women are able to see each other as more than sex objects?



It could be, but why should people have to go to those extremes to prove that Christianity works.  Why put yourself in a high temptation situation.  Besides it kind of mocks the principles of marriage, it doesn't matter that nothing's going on it already looks like improper esp for a Christian.  Besides guys have guy friends who come over and may or may not respect the female roomate, people have to be careful what kind of situation they put themselves in then before they do things.


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## CoilyFields (Oct 22, 2009)

Avoiding the situations that appear evil also helps keep us from actually falling into that evil.

Besides there is more involved in marriage than just sex and living with someone of the opposite sex brings intimacy that should be reserved for your spouse.


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## Ramya (Oct 22, 2009)

Yall remember when Ruth showed up at Boaz's spot? He told her to leave before the sun came up so that nobody would see that she spent the night with him. What people SEE us do is just as important as what we ACTUALLY do. For some, a man and a woman can live together and never be intimate--emotionally or physically. But for others (especially those in the world) it will not be perceived as such and perception is reality. It can weaken our testimony which would grieve the Holy Spirit. If it were me, I'd pray and have faith that I could find a female roommate (while actively looking of course).


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## blazingthru (Oct 22, 2009)

Yes I think its not the right choice.  I think we should be putting all of our faith and hope in the Father to provide for us.  Sometimes its just our general missmanagement of money that puts us in binds.  God says he is the Great I AM. Which means he is all things to those who love and put their faith and trust in him and are willing to obey him in all things.  

the Banker, The Lawyer, the husband,  the doctor.  He is the provider.  He is Everything we could ever need.  Faith, obeying his commandments leads us to many blessings and no need to fall into sin.  because even if there is nothing going on and never will be nothing going on it doesn't look that way and we should not even give a hint of sin to our neighbors. 
WE walk in the light and we walk by faith leaning on the promises of God.


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## Laela (Oct 22, 2009)

I figured the "appearance of evil" scripture would surface...  ITA that the "appearance" may be a problem for some Christians, but I think the real problem would be what that arrangement would do to her Spiritual life, moreso than what it looks like to other people.

The appearance of evil, in Thessalonians that Paul is talking about has to do with manifested evil and not how something simply "looks" to someone else. Translations of the bible say to abstain from every "*form *of evil"  that means to NOT engage in manifested evil. To avoid simply the "appearance"  is a form of people bondage, IMHO.  That's where the problem lies. Avoiding acts of evil is what this Scripture is talking about.  

God's word is the standard by which we should live or lives. But it really doesn't matter what a Christian does, SOMEONE will always perceive something evil.  Should a Christian live life trying to please people? No, I don't think they should.   

In the eyes of those who hated him, Jesus always appeared to do evil deeds when in fact they just _appeared _that way to others who judged him.


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## Renewed1 (Oct 22, 2009)

ThickHair said:


> *BUT, out of all the people to be a roommate with, a person finds a person of the opposite sex?* Why not same sex? I don't understand the "Oh, I don't get along with other women" line? If that is the case then you may have bigger problems with your christianity if you can't get along with a person of the same sex.
> 
> Just tossing that out there as food for thought to open up more discussion.


 

 Well in the situations I know of, they literally had no where else to go; because they were out of state and/or the female friends were married.


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## Renewed1 (Oct 22, 2009)

Lucia said:


> Being just friends doesn't justify it, when either of them are asked have you ever lived with a man or woman they can't honestly say no cause they did live with them, then their future husband or wife will always wonder if maybe something more didn't go on and they're lying about it. *It jut opens the door to alot of distrust and doubt,* if you're following those strict rules, that is not just Christianity but Muslims etc... then it's a really bad idea cause you are going against those beliefs you say you're honoring.
> Why do something that makes you look wrong or guilty even when you haven't done anything.


 
Well in my mind, if the question pops up I will be truthful about it.  Most Christian people are truthful about their life and the areas they struggled in prior to meeting their future mate.  

But if the person I'm with still has doubt or trusts issues, then he is not the one for me.


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## Renewed1 (Oct 22, 2009)

Never mind.....good civil discussion ladies.  Thank you!


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## Shimmie (Oct 22, 2009)

I'm going to come back this.   I'm just waking up from a nap and tomorrow, I'm going to take time out to read this when I'm fully awake, before I respond.  

Blessings ... :Rose:


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## Laela (Oct 23, 2009)

Changed, 

I don't know the whole story....everyone's situation is different and we don't have enough details.. all we see is a man and woman living together. I guess positions would change if supposedly this woman was disabled and the male friend is the only real friend she has in a city where she knows no one. Or, she had a female roommate and that's who got her where she is now, because of a soured relationship or a fight. I could go on and on....

There's a _big _difference between living with a man and having a male roommate... 

So, there can't be any "mockery of marriage" if they're not in a relationship.

We're in a world where everything can be easily perverted; these two platonic friends have already been put in bed together, and we don't even know what their circumstances are.  




Changed said:


> Well in the situations I know of, they literally had no where else to go; because they were out of state and/or the female friends were married.


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## brg240 (Oct 23, 2009)

hmm I think it more along the lines of 1 Corinthians 10:23
"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

It might not be a sin but I don't believe it is using wisdom.


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## HeChangedMyName (Oct 23, 2009)

brg240 said:


> hmm I think it more along the lines of 1 Corinthians 10:23
> "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.
> 
> It might not be a sin but I don't believe it is using wisdom.


 

Thanks for this scripture.  Right on time for this thread AND some other things that have been in my head and on my heart lately.  Thanks.


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## Crown (Oct 23, 2009)

brg240 said:


> hmm I think it more along the lines of 1 Corinthians 10:23
> "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.
> 
> It might not be a sin but I don't believe it is using wisdom.



Thank you, and more verses speak this same way :

 Rom. 14.13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: *but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way*.

14.16 Let not then your good be evil spoken of: 14.17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but *righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost*. 14.18 *For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men.* 14.19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. 14.20 For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence. 14.21 *It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.* 14.22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.

1Cor. 10.31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. 10.32 *Give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God*...


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## Ladybelle (Oct 23, 2009)

the sin comes in having relations/fornication - if a man & female can move in together without any attraction, lusting after each other or engaging in questionable pre-marital activity. This is the reason "shacking up" is considered a sin. 

With the nature of men & women - it has been my experience that most female/male relationships end up in some type of attraction.  

I would say, pray about it & hear from God.  He won't guide you wrong, if there is questioning of the decision & no inner peace about it, it is probably a bad decision.


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## Shimmie (Oct 23, 2009)

Two things break my heart about making this post.  

One is because I wish with all of my heart, that I were sitting in a room with each of you so that you see the love from my heart and the respect that I cherish in each of you here.   I couldn't mean this more.  I see each of you as Jewels which reflect not only the love of God, but the holiness which this world we live in lacks in abundance. 

Which brings me to share that my heart breaks when we as Christians reflect the world which is void of the presence and holiness of God.  

As Christians we have a commanded responsibility to set the standard of living and not compromise, not even by a shadow.  

How can we bear witness to Jesus Christ and yet lend ourselves to such carelessness.  Again, I say this lovingly.  Without wrath and without doubting of anyone's integrity here as a child of God.

There are absolutely and positively and nor will there ever be a Godly justification, for a man and woman to live together as roommates.   NONE!

If anyone says it is so, it is lying on God.   For God says clearly that "He leads into the paths of Righteousness for His Namesake.   

His Namesake!   His Integrity as God!  His Sovereinty!  His Holiness!   His Blood Covenant with us.

There is absolutely no way that God would lead anyone, to set up house in a manner such as this.  Instead He will make provision for each one of us to live holy.  And there are indeed other options, even if it means living where you don't 'want' to live, but at least you will not be in sin.

*And it is indeed a sin.  *

How can we doubt that God would provide for us to not live even in the very 'appearance' of sin.   

Does anyone really and truly think for one moment, especially with a Covenant Relationship with God our Father, that He would deny an earnest prayer such as:

_"Father God, place me where my life gives you glory and will not cast a shadow upon my witness as one of your own."  _

_Father God, your word clearly says, that you lead me not into temptation; that you deliver me from 'all' evil, even the appearance of such.  _

_Father your word commands to not let my good to be evil spoken of.  I am a gazingstock where others look to me as a light unto your path.   Let my light shine for others to follow your straight and narrow path.  In Jesus' Name, I honour you and pray.  Amen and Amen. "_

_---------------------_

*Sheep Wool:* 

_** Sigh ** _

When do we stop playing games with God?   When do we stop pretending that He hasn't given us the answers already about this and other similar situations.   When do we stop 'lying' on God ?  

When God says, to 'flee' youthful lusts.  It's a given that He is also saying to not place ourselves in a position to yield to such.  

No one can stand before God face to face and tell him that you will not be in a position of temptation.   No one can stand before God face to face and say, Father, I had no other choice.   No one can stand before God face to face and say, 'we're strictly platonic' with no intentions of taking it outside of that realm.  

No one can stand before God face to face and say, Lord you gave me peace about this or His approval.   It's lying. God has does not approve.  It's lying to oneself to block the conviction that the Holy Spirit is grieved over this. 

The truth about this is that is a *'human decision'*; two people who have decided to do what they want to do and God's presence is not in it; neither His approval.   The only thing that they have is God's grace, His undeserved, unmerited, favor and all because He loves you.

Don't justify the situation by saying, _God knows my heart in this situation_.  

Yes, indeed, you better believe He does know your heart; God also knows your flesh; therefore He may know your heart in this situation, but it's not with His approval.  We can't pull our _'sheep wool'_ over God's eyes.  

*Men Know Men:*

Any Father, be he Christian or non Christian, would not want, neither allow this living arrangement for his daughter.  She can be 16 or 60, but her father will never approve.    

_*Men 'know' men.*_   And being alone with a woman in a live-in situation is only 'asking' for temptation to have it's way.  A man's thoughts will 'wander'.  It is a proven fact that men think about sex quite often and quite readily.    

Living with a woman, a man is going to be quite 'aware' of her presence and quite aware of her presence as a woman.

He is vunerable by the slightest thing to arouse him, sexually.   He's automatically going to wonder what his female roommate sleeps in.   When he hears the bath or shower, his mind is going to wonder what she looks like naked.  

When he sees her laundry, he's going to think about where it touches her body.   When she wears a bathrobe, he's going to wonder what's under.  

He's a MAN!  And there is no one there to be accountable to except his flesh next to hers.  Those will be his thoughts.  

It really does not take much to get a man sexually stimulated or aroused. Anything from the sight of a woman putting on lipstick to the smell of her perfume or soap or lotion, even her shampoo, can stimulate a man and bring sexual related thoughts in his mind. 

Men Know Men -- so does God.   If an earthly father would not allow such a living arrangement for his daughter, how much more does God.  

God knows the weakness of men and women when it comes to sexual temptation.  It's in our nature as a man and a woman to be sexually attracted to one another.  Afterall, He created and designed us as 'sexual beings' so that we would be fruitful and multiply; to replenish the earth with life upon life.

Do not deceive yourselves and say that the two persons are strong committed Christians and are accountable to God.   

Ummm yeah?  Not so.  

They've already displayed their weakness and weakened committment to the Lord and the actively weakened yield to the Holy Spirit by placing themselves in this highly volatile living arrangement. 

As humans we can have the very best of intentions, but in reality, if it's in sin's pathway, it's sin and it's also premeditated, watered, nurtured and brought forth. 

This is not one's perception of impropriety... 

This is not, judgemental ...

This is not a game ...  

If other religions are strict about this, how much more we as Christians should be leaders in such.    We are a holy generation, separated from the world unto God.   

For His Namesake, is this how we misrepresent Him?   Most surely this is a misrepresentation of a Godly standard of living. 

Perception of impropriety?    

The is beyond 'perception'.   The inpropriety has already taken place.  

We are to shun the very appearance of evil.

When do we stop playing games with Salvation?  Placing ourselves in situations of compromise that Jesus paid the price for with His Blood...

This entire post is directed towards the issue and shared in Peace and Blessings... :Rose:


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## Laela (Oct 24, 2009)

I agree.... great Scripture for this situation! 




brg240 said:


> hmm I think it more along the lines of 1 Corinthians 10:23
> "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.
> 
> *It might not be a sin but I don't believe it is using wisdom*.


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## rara171 (Oct 24, 2009)

Lucia said:


> Being just friends doesn't justify it, when either of them are asked have you ever lived with a man or woman *they can't honestly say no* cause they did live with them, then *their future husband or wife will always wonder if maybe something more didn't go on and they're lying about it.*  It jut opens the door to alot of distrust and doubt, if you're following those strict rules, that is not just Christianity but Muslims etc... then it's a really bad idea cause you are going against those beliefs you say you're honoring.
> Why do something that makes you look wrong or guilty even when you haven't done anything.




well at the end of the day, should we really worry about what other people think about our personal situations?

i mean, what if i live with a lesbian woman? i could omit their sexual orientation so that other people can be mentally ok with my situation...


secondly, i feel that if i am ready to be married, then my future husband will know me inside and out. they would not doubt me, nor worry about this situation.



these are just my thoughts. not trying to attack, just looking at all perspectives. i personally find myself going into situations ( or refraining from certain things) so that other people can be more comfortable. but at the end of the day, if i'm living for other people, i am making it harder to walk my own walk with God.


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## Shimmie (Oct 24, 2009)

rara171 said:


> well at the end of the day, should we really worry about what other people think about our personal situations?
> 
> i mean, what if i live with a lesbian woman? i could omit their sexual orientation so that other people can be mentally ok with my situation...
> 
> ...


 
You are right, we can't please people, because God has commanded that we are to please Him and not man.  

Therefore, at the end of the day, it matters what God thinks.  It matters from the rising of the sun unto the end thereof.  

Our 'human' perspectives are shallow and always filled with excuses, scenarios and self fulfilling justifications.  No matter what people use as examples of alternates (i.e. if the women are gay), it still won't fly with God.  

God never places us in compromising situations.  Humans do that to themselves and then try to justify it or make comparisons in an attempt to minimize the issue at hand.   

Which is why at the end of the day, it's what we do that pleases God.


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## msa (Oct 25, 2009)

Having had a male roommate before I'm going to say that God knew my heart in that situation...it was strictly a group of friends living together, separate rooms and all that. And I've known many Christian men and women who have lived together and had absolutely no issues.

Is it biblically wrong? Nope. If it is, someone please show me a scripture as I've yet to find any.


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## Shimmie (Oct 25, 2009)

msa said:


> Having had a male roommate before I'm going to say that God knew my heart in that situation...it was strictly a group of friends living together, separate rooms and all that. And I've known many Christian men and women who have lived together and had absolutely no issues.
> 
> Is it biblically wrong? Nope. If it is, someone please show me a scripture as I've yet to find any.


Why don't you instead provide a scripture that justifies it?   Just because you lived this way doesn't justify it or make it right.   It only shows a lax attitude in Christian values.   

Those who have a true relationship with God would never consider placing themselves in a position to have their witness compromised.      

Too many people are trying to re-do the image of God to fit what they choose to do or be in life.  

If this is how folks choose to live than so be it.  Just leave God out of it.  It is a human decision and a living situation created by humans.   

The worn out expression "God knows my heart' is not scripture, it's a cop out from accountabliity.  It's time to get real and stop playing games with the sovereinty of God.  We either honour Him or we don't.   If there's something you want to do in life, then just do it.  But don't try and put a fake cover over it, and say God is in it.  He's not.  He's quite clear on what He expects from us as His children.   It's up to us to live up to it.


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## preciouzone (Oct 25, 2009)

I personally do not believe that God is pleased with these arrangements. 

I have a friend that is actually living with his male best friend and another female
that moved in with them to help keep cost down being college students and all.
At first, my friend and the female didn't get along and couldn't stand each other
and within a years time ended up liking each other and now are a couple. Their 
parents didn't approve but they are still living together despite the fact. They are
Christians however they feel that this is once again helping them save money.
That kind of reminds me of people trying to justify why they do what they do. 

Anyways, just like if I was as a married woman I wouldn't feel comfortable having a woman
(single or not) being a "roommate" in my home. Even if she is Christian. Yes, I know
my God *knows* my husbands heart and the heart of this woman... but flesh is 
flesh and I wouldn't trust or allow that situation to be.


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## Renewed1 (Oct 25, 2009)

Thank you everyone for your opinions.  I'm still on the fence should a Christian woman/man live with the opposite sex and if it goes against God.  

But I will leave the matter in God's hands; if I'm in a situation where I need a roommate or a place to live.  I'm going to trust God to open a door for me to have a roof over my head.


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## aribell (Oct 25, 2009)

Laela said:


> The appearance of evil, in Thessalonians that Paul is talking about has to do with manifested evil and not how something simply "looks" to someone else. Translations of the bible say to abstain from every "*form *of evil" that means to NOT engage in manifested evil. To avoid simply the "appearance" is a form of people bondage, IMHO. That's where the problem lies. Avoiding acts of evil is what this Scripture is talking about.


 
That is a very interesting insight.




msa said:


> Having had a male roommate before I'm going to say that God knew my heart in that situation...it was strictly a group of friends living together, separate rooms and all that. And I've known many Christian men and women who have lived together and had absolutely no issues.
> 
> Is it biblically wrong? Nope. If it is, someone please show me a scripture as I've yet to find any.


 

This summer, I worked at an internship in another state, where we were told that housing would be provided, but the housing was one apartment, separate bedrooms, two men and one woman.  I was not happy with the arrangement, but there was no way to get another apartment, availability-wise or financially.

I can say without any type of hesitation that there was absolutely nothing more than a platonic relationship between my peers and I.  And while that in itself does not make a situation good, it is true that if anyone wanted to look in from the outside and make assumptions about my heart, my values or my standards, they would have been very much in the wrong.   

Ultimately, I prayed to the Lord to change things, and the very next morning, out of the blue, an older woman offered me the guest house on her property at absolutely no charge.  She saw that it wasn't a proper situation and took it upon herself to help me.  She didn't judge or assume my heart was impure, she offered a solution.

I do think that men and women living together is improper and that people who find themselves in those situations should pray for the Lord to provide alternate arrangements.  We should also remember though that sometimes a situation is just what it is and there is no point or godly edification in making oneself feel guilty about _what other people are assuming_ is in your heart based on their imaginations.


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## Laela (Oct 25, 2009)

That's the best thing you can do.... I wish you well.




Changed said:


> Thank you everyone for your opinions.  I'm still on the fence should a Christian woman/man live with the opposite sex and if it goes against God.
> 
> *But I will leave the matter in God's hands;* if I'm in a situation where I need a roommate or a place to live.  I'm going to trust God to open a door for me to have a roof over my head.


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## Shimmie (Oct 25, 2009)

nicola.kirwan said:


> This summer, I worked at an internship in another state, where we were told that housing would be provided, but the housing was one apartment, separate bedrooms, two men and one woman. I was not happy with the arrangement, but there was no way to get another apartment, availability-wise or financially.
> 
> I can say without any type of hesitation that there was absolutely nothing more than a platonic relationship between my peers and I.
> 
> ...


 
Good for you!   It's obivous that God does not approve of this situation, and He changed it, because you sought Him to do so.  

Christians, who say they have 'peace' about this living arrangement are forgetting that it is of their own 'free will' that God will not override, that allows them to do so.   It's their choice, not God's.   

Because of our 'higher calling', as Christians, we can't play the 'victim' when wer're judged upon the 'appearance' of impropriety.   No matter how innocent we are, no matter how 'unfair' it is, it's not about others who judge us, for we've judged ourselves by where we place ourselves.   

Each year, our office has a regional "Holiday" party and because it's held in a bar, I will not attend.  I get 'flack' about it from my boss and several of my co-workers, but I stand my ground and I will not go.   There are other Christians in my office who do attend, because it's expected of them to meet with the guests and to keep the network open.   

I've explained to my boss and to my 'outter' network associates that I cannot attend an event that is against my personal convictions.  They respect that.  I simply refuse to be associated with a bar, let alone be 'seen' going in and out of one.  I have a 'standard' to uphold.     

As Christians, we are to refrain from the appearance of evil.  If Jesus tells us that even a 'thought' of sin is no different than the actual 'act' of it itself, that it's the same as being active in the sin, than how much more is actually living in a situation that gives the appearance of sin, the very same as.    That's how God sees it.  No matter how innocent it may be to 'us' as humans, it's not to God.   

We still have a choice to get out of situations which appear as transgressions.  You made this choice and God honoured it. 



No matter how 'innocent' or unintended our actions may be, we still have to take into account and own up to what we do; and that it is only by Grace that God let's us pass.


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## msa (Oct 25, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> Why don't you instead provide a scripture that justifies it?   Just because you lived this way doesn't justify it or make it right. *  It only shows a lax attitude in Christian values.   *
> 
> *Those who have a true relationship with God* would never consider placing themselves in a position to have their witness compromised.
> 
> ...




Why thank you for judging my relationship with God and attitude in Christian values. I'm so glad that you and God are close enough for you to be able to make that judgment.

Let's get real about the situation. If the choice is living with an unrelated male vs. living on the street or another unsavory situation then I'm positive God would rather a person live with the unrelated male. Maybe you have issues with lust or improper boundaries, but everyone else doesn't, it's up to those people in the situation to go to God and decide whether it would be ok for them. You don't know what God is in or isn't in since you're not Him so next time, if you have a response to me let it be from the word and not from you own mind and mouth. Thanks.


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## Nice & Wavy (Oct 25, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> Good for you!   It's obivous that God does not approve of this situation, and He changed it, because you sought Him to do so.
> 
> Christians, who say they have 'peace' about this living arrangement are forgetting that it is of their own 'free will' that God will not override, that allows them to do so.   It's their choice, not God's.
> 
> ...


 Excellent responses, Shimmie...as usual, you allow God to use you to bring forth the truth

Bless you, always!


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## Shimmie (Oct 25, 2009)

msa said:


> Why thank you for judging my relationship with God and attitude in Christian values. I'm so glad that you and God are close enough for you to be able to make that judgment.
> 
> *Let's get real about the situation. If the choice is living with an unrelated male vs. living on the street or another unsavory situation then I'm positive God would rather a person live with the unrelated male.*
> 
> Maybe you have issues with lust or improper boundaries, but everyone else doesn't, it's up to those people in the situation to go to God and decide whether it would be ok for them. You don't know what God is in or isn't in since you're not Him so next time, if you have a response to me let it be from the word and not from you own mind and mouth. Thanks.


 
msa,  Everything I've shared is from the word of God.  He is not going to put a child of His in a situation of compromise or in the streets.   People place themselves there by the choices they make.   

Be real! You either trust God or you don't.  That is from the word of God. 

Now you still have yet to show in God's word where He'd lead any of His children to live in a compromised situation.  

You cannot mislead others with your lax attitude with Christianity.


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## Nice & Wavy (Oct 25, 2009)

> If you don't have a mane; if you don't have sharp teeth; if you don't have a long tail - you're not a lion no matter what you say.
> 
> If you don't have tires; if you don't have a motor; and if you don't have a steering wheel - you're not a car no matter you say.
> 
> If you can't carry a tune; and if you can't hit a note; and if your singing doesn't bless people - stick to the shower, because you're not a soloist no matter what you say.



Praise the Lord!


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## Shimmie (Oct 25, 2009)

Nice & Wavy said:


> Excellent responses, Shimmie...as usual, you allow God to use you to bring forth the truth
> 
> Bless you, always!


 
The sad thing about this is that no one is seeing the consequences of not seeing this as wrong.   

Before you know it, there'll be Christians one after another followng suit; all because of the ones who say, it's okay.   

It's NOT okay.   Not just because if looks as sin; but 100% of these living situations become sin. For men DO become stimulated living with women.  Their minds cannot help but go there.  It's in their nature.  As Jesus said, if a man looks upon a woman, he has already sinned in his heart.   

Living in this enviroment only 'feeds' and waters those thoughts  of his putting him in sin.  The woman is in sin who 'creates' it, just by being there.   Far too many go all the way to having sexual relations with each other.    

Who would follow a Pastor who had a roommate of the opposite sex?  What does that say about his reprsentation of Christ.     It is a degraded representation of Christian values.  What would be the point of honouring Marriage?  

What is happening to living holy and blameless as God has called us to?   There are so many imposters of our Faith and I refuse to sit back and fear what folks think of me for speaking up about it.

The Church is nothing but an imitator of the world.   The dress code has gone to the gutter, there's no respect for sexual purity, no standard for upholding holiness and then folks want prayer to cover what they don't want to fix.   

We had better get it together.   The spots have grown into melanomas.  And it's so unnecessary, that's what makes it all the more grieving to the Holy Spirit.   The mindset of 'anything' goes, is so unnecessary when we serve such a loving God who will withhold NO good thing from us.  

All that we ever need in within Him and He will not suffer His children to see lack, need or want.    I can say this because I 'know' Him and I love Him with all of my heart.  

To God be the glory and God will surely have His glory, no matter who or what tries to stand in His way.


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## Shimmie (Oct 25, 2009)

Nice & Wavy said:


> If you don't have a mane; if you don't have sharp teeth; if you don't have a long tail - you're not a lion no matter what you say.
> 
> Praise the Lord!


 
Does my ponytail count...


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## Nice & Wavy (Oct 25, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> Does my ponytail count...


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## Nice & Wavy (Oct 25, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> The sad thing about this is that no one is seeing the consequences of not seeing this as wrong.
> 
> Before you know it, there'll Christians one after another followng suit; all because of the ones who say, it's okay.   It's NOT okay.
> 
> ...


The Lord will always get the glory!!!


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## Momstar (Oct 26, 2009)

Hi, it's my first time here. I'm not such an active(church-going) Christian lately but my beliefs are still here.

I don't think a man and a woman living together unmarried is a good idea. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. Everything can seem okay but then you are alone with this guy all the time and suddenly he realizes you're a woman. This not to say anything about either person but the situation is not a good one to be in. Life is hard enough so why make it potentially more difficult for yourself?

My gut reaction is no it's not a good idea and I tend to think if you have to ask if something is wrong then it probably (not all the time) is .


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## Nice & Wavy (Oct 26, 2009)

kathryn said:


> Hi, it's my first time here. I'm not such an active(church-going) Christian lately but my beliefs are still here.
> 
> I don't think a man and a woman living together unmarried is a good idea. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. Everything can seem okay but then you are alone with this guy all the time and suddenly he realizes you're a woman. This not to say anything about either person but the situation is not a good one to be in. Life is hard enough so why make it potentially more difficult for yourself?
> 
> My gut reaction is no it's not a good idea and I tend to think if you have to ask if something is wrong then it probably (not all the time) is .


Welcome and your post is on point


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

kathryn said:


> Hi, it's my first time here. I'm not such an active(church-going) Christian lately but my beliefs are still here.
> 
> I don't think a man and a woman living together unmarried is a good idea. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. Everything can seem okay but then you are alone with this guy all the time and suddenly he realizes you're a woman. This not to say anything about either person but the situation is not a good one to be in. Life is hard enough so why make it potentially more difficult for yourself?
> 
> My gut reaction is no it's not a good idea and I tend to think if you have to ask if something is wrong then it probably (not all the time) is .


:welcome3:   Precious One.   Your "Jesus" shines brightly from within you. 

And not just because of your reply in this thread.  It's simply shows :Rose:


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

Nice & Wavy said:


> The Lord will always get the glory!!!


 
The Angels bow before Him...

Heaven and Earth, adore Him...

He is Jesus, Our Lord...

How do we choose to represent Him?  

We are not of this world; we do not live as they do.

We have a God who is Mighty to save and to provide for us.

I can 'hear' Joshua all throughout this thread saying,

_"Choose you this day, whom you will serve; as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."_


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

If this helps just one... To God be the Glory  :Rose:

http://www.boundless.org/2005/answers/a0001505.cfm

*"Flirting with Temptation"*

*DEAR BOUNDLESS ANSWERS*

What do you think about Christian singles living with members of the opposite sex? 

I have two friends (a man and a woman) who work for a college campus ministry organization, and live in a house together.
.
All told, there are four young men and the woman living in this house. My male friend has a girlfriend, but the rest of the young men and the woman are all single. 

I say that unmarried men and women should not live together, whether they are dating, cohabitating or just roommates. 

I seem to be the only one in my Bible study with this opinion.

Since my friends are merely roommates, and not romantically involved, everyone else seems to think their living arrangement is acceptable. I say it's not, since it is not a good witness and goes against what we all profess about couples not living together before marriage.

What are your thoughts?

*REPLY*

You are dead on. It is a very poor witness for Christian singles of the opposite sex — in ministry no less! — to be living in the same house together. 

They are damaging their credibility as Christians and especially leaders in ministry.

What if a single young guy and girl who attend their campus ministry meetings want to move in together "just as roommates"? What will their counsel be? 

"Well, the two of you shouldn't do that, because it looks bad, but if you can find about 3 or 4 other guys or girls it's OK." 

Huh?

Christians who believe it's OK to have opposite-sex roommates or housemates (we'll leave cohabiting for another time) have made two very significant mistakes in their thinking.

*One,* they have agreed with the feminists, who for 40 years have tried to get us to believe that, outside a few plumbing issues, men and women are essentially the same, that there is nothing uniquely masculine about men, nor feminine about women. 

We can be great buddies, fight alongside each other in combat, share public restrooms, and live together! 

This flies in the face of scripture.

Men and women aren't the same. To throw a girl in the mix of a bunch of guys living together, and think it's essentially the same as throwing another guy in there, is a victory for the feminists.

"Oh, we won't be tempted sexually, we're just friends!" And all the feminists said, "Amen!" (Of course the feminists wouldn't care so much about temptation — casual hook ups are like shaking hands).

*Two,* as Christians these young people have a responsibility to live in such a way that it benefits and builds up others. 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 says, "'All things are lawful,' but not all things are _helpful_. 'All things are lawful,' but not all things _build up_. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor." 

In a college setting, where the hook-up culture is doing everything it can to tear down healthy relationships between guys and girls, Christians should be making every effort to live as counter-cultural to that as possible. Opposite-sex roommates send a weak message to a world that desperately needs a salt-saturated standard.

I hope you'll keep urging them to change their living arrangements, for their sake, for the sake of those who are watching them, and for the Lord's sake, who commands us to "do _all_ to the glory of God."

Blessings,

JOHN THOMAS
* * *​_If you have a question you'd like John to consider for this column, please send it to [email protected]. _

--------------------------

When I saw the title of this article it just 'said it all', about the topic of this thread.

This kind of living arrangement is truly, Flirting with temptation...God says to give 'no place' to the devil; no place means no place, least satan gets the advantage of you.​






I don't want to see anyone become mislead by the misconceptions of this issue  I cannot imagine how any Christian could not see the harm in this style of living.  I simply cannot.    Why encourage an epedemic which will bring more damage to the health of the Church.  

It can never be said that I contrbuted to the support of this abasement to the Body of Christ.  If someone chooses this life, than it's their personal choice; however, they cannot say God made the choice for them.  For anyone to say it's of God makes it all the more dangerous, for it misleads others to follow suit.

Isaiah 7:8 says that this shall not expand its boundaries and so it shall not, be spread any further, in the Church of our Lord Jesus Christ, deemed Holy and Blameless.


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## msa (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> msa,  Everything I've shared is from the word of God.  He is not going to put a child of His in a situation of compromise or in the streets.   People place themselves there by the choices they make.
> 
> Be real! You either trust God or you don't.  That is from the word of God.
> 
> ...




Just because my attitude is different than yours does not make it "lax". And I'm definitely not misleading anyone, just giving my opinion on the question that was asked.

Anyway, like I said before, the people involved have to go to God themselves and see if the situation would be appropriate for them. Some people will be convicted about it, and some won't. It depends on the people and the situation. I'm not saying just because it's not in the bible it's "right", just saying that it isn't wrong across the board either.

I currently still live with a man who is not related to me. Am I sinning? Nope. I was lucky to have a family take me in when I had no other place to go. That has nothing to do with not trusting God...it's just the way the situation is. Everyone's situation is different and just because others might look on it unfavorably, doesn't mean God will.


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

I also agree that it is individual between those people and God

I say this because the man I was just with , Godly man (whatever that is, because he did love God but still just a man) right after we started dating all hell broke loose in his life, lost his job,  fought for something like 4-5 months to get unemployment or a job,  he lost his place, and had nowhere to go,  I was turmoiled ALOT about the whole situation,  alot of pain,  but I took him in,  it was not easy, but there was no sin, he wouldnt ever go there, and yes he WAS that strong, and it was all good for me anyway, because it gave me reprieve to gather myself again without that even being a worry or test or temptation, it was just understood,  we aint going there.  He did get on his feet, he did pay to stay here,  was it stressful at times? YES , but not from temptation so much than just having someone stay with me.  at times it was great , the companionship,  but towards the end it was too much, again not the temptation, but the stress,  so he left , and paid me up later.  he was my friend for ten years on/off before this and had blessed me in the past , not sure if us staying together destroyed us or not, probably many factors,  cant even say all is said and done, I just dont know,  but there was no sin and he needed the help and I got BLESSED in return.  

We spoke with another couple now married 26 years and have their own church and 26 years ago he had to take her in before they got married and they did not sin either

the church turned on them,  she told me there is a story in the bible , cant remember who it was, where a woman stayed in a man's house before marriage , Esther? not sure

but whatever in my case, there was no sin.  would I do it again though? NOPE!!!

But it was what it was and I have no regrets now


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

HeChangedMyName said:


> Thanks for this scripture.  Right on time for this thread AND some other things that have been in my head and on my heart lately.  Thanks.


I agree with this

my situation was allowed and did work for both of us for a time

but when the season was up,  it was up

we were warned through prophetic word,  'Got trouble,  Get Married or Move out' 

Funny,  tho, through being around him that much right now I cannot imagine that man to be my husband ,  time and God will reveal. I am no longer jumping anywhere

I also was in a place where I desperately needed to have someone around, because being real I needed to gather my strength to stay away from my ex,  I was in a very 'broken' place,   so I was helping him and he was helping me, he read the word to me nightly, I also had health issues , he helped me alot with that too, he also blessed me more than I asked money wise in the end.....so unexpected extra blessing

it was what it was, maybe not the ultimate 'best' situation,  but it all worked out best I suppose

again I would not pick the situation again, and was in turmoil over it in the first place,  hard not to extend a hand to someone who gave you their whole arm to save u at God's prompting before,  like you know you dont know where you would be without what they did for you..., but now they need?  umm kinda hard to turn your back on that...... but we were both praying through and God made the way out

But I would never judge another's situation due to what I walked through (Well I wouldnt have anyway)

Because you just dont know what God is doing


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## Laela (Oct 26, 2009)

This is sad. With all due respect  to all who've posted in this thread, I believe it's is the responsibility of God's people to judge their brethren, according to the Word, _when they sin_. I can handle that. But when there's faulty thinking, like in this thread, questioning whether a person is even saved is a thin line.  
Matthew 7:1-5
_Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye._

What's critical is not the judging but _HOW _it's done. If we're not careful, we can easily become an accuser of the brethren, with all the best intentions. Anytime we judge, it should be for the edification of others and for the glory of God, not to beat them down. It may be a cliche to some: but God knows our hearts. I'll never tire of saying that, because it is the truth.

I'd rather play with God than with the devil. At least, God will zap me with some retribution in the form of a good dose of the Holy Spirit for playing with him like that.  He will still love us, no matter what. 
The devil, though, would just smile and not say a Word. He doesn't have to....


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Laela said:


> This is sad. With all due respect  to all who've posted in this thread, I believe it's is the responsibility of God's people to judge their brethren, according to the Word, _when they sin_. I can handle that. But when there's faulty thinking, like in this thread, questioning whether a person is even saved is a thin line.
> Matthew 7:1-5
> _Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye._
> 
> ...


You are right, it is God and only God that knows! and can make a call on any situation, it is he and ONLY he that knows the 'inner' working of our hearts

someone mentioned this is all about purposes of 'appearance' and that in itself being bondage,  I fully agree with that also

we need not be pleasing in the sight of man/people but only in the sight of God and AGAIN  ONLY HE AND HE ALONE  SEES AND KNOWS ALL

the end!


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Laela said:


> This is sad. With all due respect  to all who've posted in this thread, I believe it's is the responsibility of God's people to judge their brethren, according to the Word, _when they sin_. I can handle that. But when there's faulty thinking, like in this thread, questioning whether a person is even saved is a thin line.
> Matthew 7:1-5
> _Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye._
> 
> ...


ok more to say

I dont understand how people can be delivered out of SO MUCH, I mean like total darkness and/or even operating in it , to walking with the LORD

then come down SO HARD on others

how do they forget the love, grace and mercy shown/given to them

or that God knew THEIR hearts all along while they were lost

baffling to me totally


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## LifeafterLHCF (Oct 26, 2009)

I'm not bible scholar but I know God tells Christians to not to appear of doing wrong bc it may trip non-christian's up.I know that I have done the whole shacking phase and even when it got to the end of just staying together it may have made some people question my faith.


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

msa said:


> Just because my attitude is different than yours does not make it "lax". And I'm definitely not misleading anyone, just giving my opinion on the question that was asked.
> 
> Anyway, like I said before, the people involved have to go to God themselves and see if the situation would be appropriate for them. Some people will be convicted about it, and some won't. It depends on the people and the situation. I'm not saying just because it's not in the bible it's "right", just saying that it isn't wrong across the board either.
> 
> I currently still live with a man who is not related to me. Am I sinning? Nope. I was lucky to have a family take me in when I had no other place to go. That has nothing to do with not trusting God...it's just the way the situation is. Everyone's situation is different and just because others might look on it unfavorably, doesn't mean God will.


 


Irresistible said:


> I also agree that it is individual between those people and God
> 
> I say this because the man I was just with , Godly man (whatever that is, because he did love God but still just a man) right after we started dating all hell broke loose in his life, lost his job, fought for something like 4-5 months to get unemployment or a job, he lost his place, and had nowhere to go, I was turmoiled ALOT about the whole situation, alot of pain, but I took him in, it was not easy, but there was no sin, he wouldnt ever go there, and yes he WAS that strong, and it was all good for me anyway, because it gave me reprieve to gather myself again without that even being a worry or test or temptation, it was just understood, we aint going there. He did get on his feet, he did pay to stay here, was it stressful at times? YES , but not from temptation so much than just having someone stay with me. at times it was great , the companionship, but towards the end it was too much, again not the temptation, but the stress, so he left , and paid me up later. he was my friend for ten years on/off before this and had blessed me in the past , not sure if us staying together destroyed us or not, probably many factors, cant even say all is said and done, I just dont know, but there was no sin and he needed the help and I got BLESSED in return.
> 
> ...


tThese are very gentle words ...

*msa,* I'm sorry that you were without a home.  That's very unhappy place to be in life; not knowing where you are going to sleep in peace, let alone live.

I feel sad for both of you.   The two of you had some very sensitive situations.   As much as it seems right, we cannot confuse God's compassion and call it His permission.   There is a major difference; a difference where we all as Christians have to be cautious of .   If we don't, we'll live a life of compromise and make excuses for one thing after another, which we know is not right.   

These living situations no matter how 'right' they seem to you, are not right to God.    These are human decisions which both of you made as a result of human errors.  God did not create the situations that lead to where you are; neither did He lead you to the decisions you made.   These are your human choices, not His.    

*Irresistable*, you were not responsible for your friend.  God would not have set you up like that.    As women, we tend to use the scenerio of events, to justify why we step in to help a man.    The reason is that we care about him.   Period!   It was still not your responsibility to let him live with you.  One prayer, "God please provide for him, to keep us from sin', would have solved it.   

When something is wrong, it's wrong.  God is not schizophrenic, He doesn't waver from one decision to another.   He is fixed, completely and totally established in what He says and He is faithful to His word, eternally.     How else can He be called faithful, trustworthy?  He would not be God if He did not uphold His word or His integrety.  

Over and Over, this fact will never change, that each of your situations are a result from a human decision, not God's.    His 'allowing' these situations is only of His Mercies upon us; it is simply Him not overriding your free will.  

When we're in trouble, our emotions take over and we will do whatever seems right to us at that time.   There seems to be no other solution, yet God still has not changed.   The 'peace' that one feels is not because God approves, it is because He cannot get through to you at this point of your decision.    Yet God does not 'allow' us to stay there.   It's not His will neither from the onset or the duration of the situation. 

So many have fallen because of their 'human decisions'.   In God's word, there is one example after another.    God made His instructions quite clear to King Saul, yet Saul yielded to his human decision and lost his peace with God.    

Sarah made a human decision which has cost the lives of multiple millions, even up to this day.  

Esau made a human decision which changed the order of his birthright.  

Today's war in the Middle East would not be if if were not for these two who made a very critical human decision.  

Neither of you can say that God lead you to this.  And it is dangerous for either of you to share this as a testimony,  to 'prove' that you were able to this way and not succomb to temptation.    That's misleading as a witness to Christ.  Others will follow thinking because you did it, they can too.  It's dangerously leading other Christians to 'flirt with temptation'. 

This is totally against the will of God.  For it will in turn go against what God has proclaimed.   That He leads us* not* into temptation; and delivers us from evil.    God does not play games.  He does not 'dangle' sin in front of us to tempt us, satan does that, not God. 

Christians do not live as the world does.  We do not have to.  There is always another way which is God's way.   Even when we 'think' there isn't.    When our emotions are caught up, it opens the door for satan to  very cleaverly come in and lead us astray.   

None of  'us' can afford to say God 's approval was in this; for we be responsible for others, lead  to do the same, leading them to fall; for it is truly a dangerous trap for a sexual encounter outside of marriage waiting to happen.    

You know, sometimes women allow themselves into this because they want so much to have the presence of a man in their lives.   Men are just that good to be around.  There is a wonderful 'difference' about the presence of a man in our home.  Some women allow this, for it's the closest they feel that they will ever come to living with a man.  

The bottomline is  whenever we are in trouble, and the immediate solution of a situation is not 'ideal', we know it's not of God.   It is a human decision that we have His grace and mercies upon.  

God does not approve of these living arrangements.  That's not His plan for our lives.   We can't whitewash it; we have to admit this not only to ourselves, but to Him so that He can deliver us into His Perfect Plan. 

This is not a lecture neither a put down.   It's an embrace from the heart of God for each of His daughters.  

The two of you deserve so much better.    :Rose:


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## Crown (Oct 26, 2009)

> Is it biblically wrong? Nope. If it is, someone please show me a scripture as I've yet to find any.



In my understanding : It's not an ideal situation !
It is biblically wrong ! Yes, there is scripture if we want to consider those references !

I also understand that being a Christian is not a point, but a journey. We are at different steps. We have to witness and let the Holy Spirit of God do His job. Let's be a witness of Jesus-Christ for each and other in a positive way.

We don't have to _plan_ a situation like this. But, if it happens, we do pray and God will provide another way, as always, sometimes with less charge or no charge. God is good !

I think that it's wrong to be pleased in a such situation by saying : God knows my heart. Do you know what the man has to fight to not covet ?

We (women) can be strong, but we have to care about the man and others, yes. How do we know that there is no sin (covet) from the man ???

 Mat. 5.28 But I say unto you, That *whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart*.

Rom. 7.7 … for I had not known lust, except the law had said, *Thou shalt not covet*. 7.8 But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence… 7.14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but *I am carnal, sold under sin.* 7.15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
7.23 But *I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members*.

Rom. 13.9 For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, *Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.*
13.13 Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying. 13.14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and *make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.*

Ja. 2.14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works?…
4.17 *Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.*

1Jo. 2.10 He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is *none occasion of stumbling in him.*
2.15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 2.16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 2.17 And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

Matt. 26.41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but *the flesh is weak.*

Rom. 14.13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that *no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.*


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie its not a testimony to not sinning

its just a fact it was not sin

I cannot say God told me to do this or that, and did not say that,  but I did what I did and its done 

and nothing separated me from his love

what disturbs me most about your post is how you said or say things like 'God is not schizophrenic, you say that against us as though we think or are saying he is

I would just be careful with what you choose to judge or how and wording

dont know what else to say

btw we did say that prayer and there was no sin



other than i didnt post to have the whole situation analyzed or judged

I dont think anyone is on the throne with him to say how God will work things out for someone

As I posted , I have no major issues with my situation 

it was what it was and I will not sit here and justify myself to anyone

I only need to do that with God

love and blessings girl


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## Laela (Oct 26, 2009)

Crown,

There are lot of things we do that's not pleasing to God.

A man can lust after a women ANYTIME, ANYWHERE. He doesn't have to be living with her to do so. 

And women aren't brainless beings. To insinuate that women can look at themselves as completely incapable of saying NO to a man is laughable.  It takes two to Tango.

But the Scriptures you post are dead on ...  avoiding those situations (applying wisdom) is likely best. We can trust God, no matter our circumstance, to make a way for us out of compromising situations.  




Crown said:


> In my understanding : It's not an ideal situation !
> It is biblically wrong ! Yes, there is scripture if we want to consider those references !
> 
> I also understand that being a Christian is not a point, but a journey. We are at different steps. We have to witness and let the Holy Spirit of God do His job. Let's be a witness of Jesus-Christ for each and other in a positive way.
> ...


----------



## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Crown said:


> In my understanding : It's not an ideal situation !
> It is biblically wrong ! Yes, there is scripture if we want to consider those references !
> 
> I also understand that being a Christian is not a point, but a journey. We are at different steps. We have to witness and let the Holy Spirit of God do His job. Let's be a witness of Jesus-Christ for each and other in a positive way.
> ...


I do agree with most of what you just said in your personal note 

except the bolded , this could happen in a man's heart walking down the street, it could happen whilst dating

there is no way we could be wholey responsible for what takes place in a man's heart. God did not ask that of us

I even posted openly that I was in a broken state,  and hurting deeply and in alot of fear at the time,  so I am sure my decision was based on 'flesh' (pain) and wanting out of it, not lust,  it was not the right way out of the pain, but for the time I was fooling myself or too weak,  I DO BELIEVE GOD KNEW THIS, long long before I did. I can surely safely say he did indeed know my heart  and it was wounded

I was running for safety in a way,  the wrong way, but at the time, hey I just wasnt ready to face certain things certain ways and was to wounded/weak/afraid

I cant and dont ask anyone to understand that, and dont care if they do (not directed at you) but its a fact that I know my God knows is true


eta the bolded part of your post being this.....

"We (women) can be strong, but we have to care about the man and others, yes. How do we know that there is no sin (covet) from the man ???

Mat. 5.28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."


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## Ramya (Oct 26, 2009)

> The sad thing about this is that no one is seeing the consequences of not seeing this as wrong.



This phrase can be applied to so many scenarios, including the turn this thread has taken.


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Laela said:


> Crown,
> 
> There are lot of things we do that's not pleasing to God.
> 
> ...


Indeed, when it was time and it was asked and prayed about by both of us a way was made

I wasnt ready , or so I thought........

But God knew I was and ehhh I'm doing alright , its been work on my part , but at least I am at the point of doing it


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## Crown (Oct 26, 2009)

Laela said:


> Crown,
> And women aren't brainless beings. *To insinuate that women can look at themselves as completely incapable of saying NO to a man is laughable*.  It takes two to Tango.



From my post, do you really think I say this, Laela, unless you are kidding me ?

Seriously, maybe I am wrong, but Mat. 5:28 does not speak about _act_ but about _look_. It takes 2 to Tango, it takes 1 to lust.


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## Laela (Oct 26, 2009)

To the contrary, quite a few women up thread have... are you saying you're the only one who sees that? 



Shimmie said:


> The sad thing about this is that *no one is seeing the consequences of not seeing this as wrong. *



We can agree to disagree without fault-finding and accusing people of having weak faith, not being a true follower of Christ, etc. I don't think God would be pleased with this approach either, for it's he who made us, not we ourselves.


----------



## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Crown said:


> From my post, do you really think I say this, Laela, unless you are kidding me ?
> 
> Seriously, maybe I am wrong, but Mat. 5:28 does not speak about _act_ but about _look_. It takes 2 to Tango, it takes 1 to lust.


But are we responsible for their lust? when it can happen under any and ALL circumstances

Now I am not talking about straight enticing a man,  but then you dont have to for them to be most time

they are responsible for that , we cannot control the heart of man

man if I could I woudnt even be in pain in the first place to have been weak enough to allowed that situation in the first place


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## Laela (Oct 26, 2009)

Naww... I wasn't saying you insinuate that.   That was a general comment for anyone to insinuate that. 

yep...takes one to lust. Because a man lusts after me, doesn't mean he'll get me. I'M in control of that, not the man. If he's in control, it becomes RAPE. 



Crown said:


> From my post, do you really think I say this, Laela, unless you are kidding me ?
> 
> Seriously, maybe I am wrong, but Mat. 5:28 does not speak about _act_ but about _look_. *It takes 2 to Tango, it takes 1 to lust.*


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Ramya said:


> This phrase can be applied to so many scenarios, including the turn this thread has taken.


I say we all have a big enough job being accountable to God for ourselves who can manage the job of doing it for others

or why?

I almost didnt even post

I didnt have to share

but its all good


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## Ramya (Oct 26, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> I say we all have a big enough job being accountable to God for ourselves who can manage the job of doing it for others
> 
> or why?
> 
> ...



I think people need to realize that they are not the ultimate authority on all things Christian. It's not like anybody is asking for anybody else's permission to cohabitate. If you're really concerned about someone's relationship with God, why not pray for them?  (without telling them) Why not be a good example?


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Ramya said:


> I think people need to realize that they are not the ultimate authority on all things Christian. It's not like anybody is asking for anybody else's permission to cohabitate. If you're really concerned about someone's relationship with God, why not pray for them?  (without telling them) Why not be a good example?


I cannot speak for MSA and would not, and would not judge her situation or even worry over it, its hers and hers alone to work out

but like I am openly saying I was a mess at the time and saying it happened mostly out of my own pain and fears and what not

who has ever had it all together all the time anyway?

nobody

when did God run out of Mercy?


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> tThese are very gentle words ...
> 
> *msa,* I'm sorry that you were without a home.  That's very unhappy place to be in life; not knowing where you are going to sleep in peace, let alone live.
> 
> ...


Sarah made a human decision and Abraham made a human decision, David made a human decision, Moses made a human decision etc etc, heck EVERYBODY in the bible just about made a human decision (or more than 1 LOL), except JESUS of course,  and did not fall out of his favor or blessing

that is not to say there wont be consequence, but he is a just God all by himself and able to give RIGHTEOUS judgment and MERCY all by himself


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## Crown (Oct 26, 2009)

> But are we responsible for their lust? when it can happen under any and ALL circumstances


I can be wrong. But, if I understand Mat. 5:28, we have to *do our best to not be responsible* for their lust or to not lead them to lust. I am not speaking about act but about intention/idea.

All I have to say is, as Christians, we do remember that prayer is  powerfull !

No judgement, just wisdom. I am not speaking about particular situation : it's not my job, I have enough to do with my own life. I just have to be a witness and pray.


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

Laela said:


> This is sad. With all due respect to all who've posted in this thread, I believe it's is the responsibility of God's people to judge their brethren, according to the Word, _when they sin_. I can handle that. But when there's faulty thinking, like in this thread, questioning whether a person is even saved is a thin line.
> Matthew 7:1-5
> _Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye._
> 
> ...


Laela, we have to very careful with the use of the 'judge' not scripture.   For far too many use it to as a free pass.   

The lifestyle 'questioned' in this thread is a mess!  It's already judged itself.   

The _faulty thinking_ is not seeing the dangers of this lifestyle.   The faulty thinking is that it is deemed 'okay', by Christians.   The faulty thinking is that it is exempt from judgement.   The faulty thinking is that it doesn't matter how it 'looks', it's still okay.   The faulty thinking is that God 'arranged' it and He approves of it.     

With all of the problems that the Church has with promiscuity, why on earth would any Chrsitian think that they could  lie on the railroad tracks of this lifestyle and dare not think that a train would not be coming full speek ahead, and run them over.   

Faulty thinking.... and that's not a game to be played with.for it truly endangers the image of the Body of Christ.  And we cannot dare to fault others for judging it for what it is.   It's an enemy of our faith and those who hold this faith dearly have every single right to judge it and speak up about it.   It's not up for defense.   

You know, when you speak of the 'accuser', we' can't continue to play the victim, especially if we allow ourselves to approve of  or be in situations which draws the wrong attention.    The accuser isn't always wrong.   We have to stop giving him the ammo to use against us.

Are we all of sudden waving a banner that says, "Christians drop your guard, for anything goes."    Are we now taking in 'compromise' as our roommates?     I hope not.   For I choose to stand upon solid rock, not sinking sand.  I'm not weakening my stand, and I will not succomb to the worn out 'judge not' theory.    

Trust me, I'm not coming against you, personally.    I am coming against an enemy who is out to weaken the Church with a lot of foolishness.  I'm not falling for it.    A very dear price was paid for me to partake of this gift of salvation,  I've lived this life of faith long enough and I know better.  I know the tricks and the excuses that 'we' as Christians use to Godidfy the choices we've  made, and God is no where in it.   The sooner we learn this the stronger we'll be as Christians and defeat the real judgers and accusers.   

I'm not unaware of the fact that people get offended when I speak up and refuse to back down on certain subjects that seek approval.    There's always 'something' that will pop up here in this forum, seeking approval for a free pass to be accepted by God and Christianity.  If it's not abortion, it's gay marriage, the loa is always looking for ways to be in here; then it's something stupid like vampires, harry potter, and now roomataes of the opposite sex?      And there are 3 things that come out trying to win sympathy and acceptance of these issues:

1.   "Well I'm a Christian and I believe it's okay....."    
2.   "  Judge not, least you be judged...."   
3.    " This is why I never come into the Christian Forum..."  
. 
Anyhooo.......  

What's going to happen is if we do not acknowledge the reality of our Faith and what it requires of us; if we don't do it now, then we will never survive what's coming.   Excuses and judge nots won't save us.  

All in peace ...  :Rose:


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> Sarah made a human decision and Abraham made a human decision, David made a human decision, Moses made a human decision etc etc, heck EVERYBODY in the bible just about made a human decision (or more than 1 LOL), except JESUS of course, and did not fall out of his favor or blessing
> 
> that is not to say there wont be consequence, but he is a just God all by himself and able to give RIGHTEOUS judgment and MERCY all by himself


Annnnd....... ? ? ?

Just because He is 'just' God doens't excuse human decisons.  

The entire point is that these human decisions cannot be said they were of God's approval, which is what seems to be the 'message' in this thread, that God gave the 'okay' to have a male roommate.    Which He did not do.   God is not a vacilator.


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> Laela, we have to very careful with the use of the 'judge' not scripture.   For far too many use it to as a free pass.
> 
> The lifestyle 'questioned' in this thread is a mess!  It's already judged itself.
> 
> ...


I am going to have to speak for MYSELF right about now, on this one

that it was NOT faulty thinking

as I have said NONE of those things you are saying in this thread,  not every situation is the same you know Shimmie,  it just aint.  

it was confusion and pain and a whole mess of other stuff, but have not sat here and said God promoted it,  but I also will not say he was not with me through it.  of course he was

I think like many things , while MANY of us are in pain and process or hurting or weak he is merciful,  do you understand that at all?

I mean thats what Jesus did FOR ALL in the bible,  he didnt turn his nose up to the woman at the well living with a man, no he gave her an answer , to the emptiness she was suffering in

you think Christians are beyond this kind of damage , pain and lost-ness?

man I wish I would have been truly I do, but I was not

so I walk away from this thread knowing HIS grace is sufficient for me and I need it not from another

I walk away from this thread , not where I should be but not where I was either

I also walk away KNOWING there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus

the only thing I can say to you, is that you will NEVER know the heart of another like him, you do understand that right?


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> Shimmie its not a testimony to not sinning
> 
> its just a fact it was not sin
> 
> ...


My post is not intended to offend anyone.  

However there is a strong impression in this thread that this living situation is an acceptable one to God, which will lead others to think that i's 'okay' to live this way, because so and so did it and so and so is a Christian.

I made it clear from the very beginning of my post that my words to you were gentle.   

However, I am very hard on this issue and strongly against Chrisitan support of it; for it is a very bad reflection upon the Body of Christ, especially if more and more take on the attitude that there is nothing wrong with it, and leading more and more to take chances on doing so.  

Love and blessings to you too.  :Rose:


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> Annnnd....... ? ? ?
> 
> Just because He is a 'just' and God doens't excuse human decisons.
> 
> The entire point is that these human decisions cannot be said they were of God's approval, which is what seems to be the 'message' in this thread, that God gave the 'okay' to have a male roommate.    Which He did not do.   God is not a vacilator.


I do think he already knows we are human Shimmie

and to boot he knows even what we will do in advance, when he accepted us as his -aint that amazing

I cannot speak across the board on this issue and have not with a stamp of approval, I am only speaking of my own situation , and will not dare judge someone else's, thats my only msg

thats just me tho


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> My post is not intended to offend anyone.
> 
> However there is a strong impression in this thread that this living situation is an acceptable one to God, which will lead others to think that i's 'okay' to live this way, because so and so did it and so and so is a Christian.
> 
> ...


I pray you understand that most of what you said I faced hard core and it wasnt easy and that nowhere am I sending that message to anyone

I just know that I cant judge another, thats what I feel strongly about

Think of where you have been Shimmie and the things you once promoted both before saved and maybe even after,  I mean we are all in process

we can still love one another!  I do understand that you dont want a certain msg sent.  Its just that some of us might have found ourselves in this situation and dont believe that God wasnt blessing ur or still with us

I'm glad he has never left me in my mess

No I would not EVER SAY to anyone do what I did and am not

In fact if they are not lost like I was at the time in so many ways in pain, I would suggest not,  but I wouldnt judge them if they were,  I think the main point is if there is no sin,  there is no sin

that doesnt mean others could/would/should put themselves in that boat

well anyway, lots of love, I do get your point

we havent all arrived and the devil is sure busy keeping us wounded/hurting/beat down

I am just getting back up again in a new way

its a new day

you just cant judge across the board girl , thats all I am saying

well I'm losing what to say now without repeating myself

but harsh judgment hurts

when we do truly love the LORD and are just walking this walk the best we can, mistakes and all

not everyone is out to send some horrible msg to other Christians, some of us are just going through or gone through, maybe places we should not have been,  but thats not to say he LEFT us

nothing so far has separated me from his love

whew thankful for that


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

Laela said:


> To the contrary, quite a few women up thread have... are you saying you're the only one who sees that?
> 
> 
> 
> We can agree to disagree without fault-finding and accusing people of having weak faith, not being a true follower of Christ, etc. I don't think God would be pleased with this approach either, for it's he who made us, not we ourselves.


 
Laela, please do not take what I've said out of context.  From my very first post, I opened it sharing the respect that I have for the women in this thread and that it is the 'subject' that I am addressing.  

Further down there is a lax attitude which I addressed to one post only.   

I'm not fearful of what others think of me.  Now if I wanted to, I could truly point out the real issues going on in here by some who disagree with me.    

The bottomline is that there is a 'weakness' in the Body of Christ with lax attitudes; and like it or not, those who do not see the dangers of lving with opposite sex roommates does indicate a crack in the dam; a weakness in the structure of our Faith.    

Instead of getting offended because it's being pointed out,  we should be working to seal it up.    Otherwise it will just keep growing bigger and bigger until it's beyond repair. 

You may as well get used to it.   Shimmie is not going to be 'lovey huggy' all of the time.  When it's time to embrace and comfort, I've never failed once to be there.  Never!  The majority of this forun knows that they can come to me at anytime, privately and not be turned away in their time of need.   

I've been up at all hours being 'there' for those who needed someone to care.  I am constantly clearing space in my PM box so that no one's cry for prayer is not able to get in.  My box stays full and I am always lovingly there.  So don't ever accuse me of being uncaring or judgmental, because that I am not.      

However, the Church is in deep trouble and we need backbone to survive.   We need to get over the tears and hurt feelings and make a stand of virture and not victim..    Because while everyone is so busy being offended, the enemy is only preparing the next offense, just to keep you distracted just enough for all hell to break loose upon you.  

Just own up to the real issues and strengthen the Church.   It's not for lack of love that the Church is falling.  It's for the lack of Virtue and standing for righteouness.    

Psalm 119 says... "Great peace I have I in your law and nothing shall offend."    

Our feelings of offence are not going to win this.  You have to get up and take a stand for Virtue and Integrety of the Church.    There's too much slack and no one is standing in the gap.   We're too busy crying over who hurt our feelings.   Get over it.  If you don't you're going to get trampled under the enemy's feet rather than he being under ours the way God commanded it so.  

Again... I speak in peace :Rose:


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

I sure didnt feel no peace or LOVE 

oh well


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> I pray you understand that most of what you said I faced hard core and it wasnt easy and that nowhere am I sending that message to anyone
> 
> I just know that I cant judge another, thats what I feel strongly about
> 
> ...


Irresistable... I think you know me far better than this.  One day you're going to be tougher than me.     I've been 'there' but I have something stronger to fight for and not against.   The Church.


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## msa (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> tThese are very gentle words ...
> 
> *msa,* I'm sorry that you were without a home.  That's very unhappy place to be in life; not knowing where you are going to sleep in peace, let alone live.
> 
> ...



The thing is, I know this situation is not of my doing, but of God's. Why? Because He's giving me a testimony that I'm able to share with many many foster kids just like me. He's made a way out of no way just for me. He created this situation and is making sure that my sister and I get through it as shining examples of His love for us. 

Was being in foster care a result of my decisions? No.
Was not having any family to turn to a result of my decisions? No.
Was not having any place to go upon turning 18 a result of my decisions? No.

And through all that God has provided a place for me to live and be comfortable. He's made it so that I can have a "home base" just like other people have, so that I can be successful in my education and everything else that He has set out for me to do. 

All through my life I've lived with unrelated males. As a child, in foster care, in college, and even now. And guess what? It was the males who were supposed to be "family" (stepfathers, etc.) who had inappropriate lust for me and not anyone else.

Right now I live with a family who took me in when I turned 18. They didn't have to, but they did. According to you, that's a sin. And you know, that's ok. Because I know what God is doing in my life and I know that He's made it so that there isn't any appearance of wrongdoing. Even in college when I had no choice but to live with a group of friends (including males), He made it so that no one could look and say "that situation doesn't look right". 

So as I said before, everyone's situation is different. The people involved have to go to God about their own circumstances. Clearly, "shacking" (living with a bf/gf) is wrong no matter the situation. But in other instances people have to really pray on it and see where God leads them. For some it works, and for some it doesn't. 

Shimmie, you've made a lot of assumptions in your post, a lot, and they don't apply to me (and I suspect others) at all. Which is interesting because a lot of this thread has been about the assumptions the unsaved will make if they see a Christian in this situation. And just like in real life I'm seeing that it's always other Christians who jump to conclusions, not those who are unsaved.


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> I sure didnt feel no peace or LOVE
> 
> oh well


 
I'm hitting against a 'spirit' sweetie.   Not you and it's not about you, and it started long before you posted.  So this is not about you, personally.   

You'll understand this one day.    

Sometimes love must be tough.  You can't back down for fear of what others think.   :Rose:


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Welp thank God he knows how to address our wounds and weakness and strengthen us

I certainly dont remember reading that he said we would/should have none


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> Irresistable... I think you know me far better than this.  One day you're going to be tougher than me.     I've been 'there' but I have something stronger to fight for and not against.   The Church.


I do know you are loving Shimmie

I just aint feeling it right now

but who is fighting against the Church here?

Shimmie , girl YOU HAVE NO CLUE the things I have WALKED through, no clue!  I dont think its about 'toughness' I KNOW I've stood through hell and back

its just I am where I am and doing my best and I do love the LORD and there is nothing more anyone can add or take away from my heart or relationship with him,  only he and I


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> I'm hitting against a 'spirit' sweetie.   Not you and it's not about you, and it started long before you posted.  So this is not about you, personally.
> 
> You'll understand this one day.
> 
> Sometimes love must be tough.  You can't back down for fear of what others think.   :Rose:


Ok Shimmie, I mean I do get your point like I said

I'm just gonna stop and thank God that I am aware of what I walked into and why and that God did deliver me/him/us

that right now is more than enough


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## Irresistible (Oct 26, 2009)

msa said:


> The thing is, I know this situation is not of my doing, but of God's. Why? Because He's giving me a testimony that I'm able to share with many many foster kids just like me. He's made a way out of no way just for me. He created this situation and is making sure that my sister and I get through it as shining examples of His love for us.
> 
> Was being in foster care a result of my decisions? No.
> Was not having any family to turn to a result of my decisions? No.
> ...


Welp this does indeed sound like a blessing and testimony to me


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## Laela (Oct 26, 2009)

This is my last post in this thread because I don't believe in strife among us, Shimmie. 

I understand what you first said.... *actually I agree with a lot of what you've said*. The Word itself can be an offense and I'm not offended one bit. But unless we're been charged by God to lead a flock, being a warrior for Christ and standing up for our beliefs and the Word doesn't give us authority over people's lives like that   God doesn't need our help to be God. 
We also can be faulty in our actions "correcting" those who are faulty in their thinking and there is where I had the problem. How constructive is that and how does that make us any more right? 

God is a God of free will and even when we choose wrong, he will accept our choice. How this translates to people misleading others or not qualified to witness is excessive.  I agree with who said we ought to just pray for their situation and leave it at that. 

The "judge" not scripture was not to provide an excuse for living any kind of way or as a free pass or water down or whitewash. But it is greatly needed in this thread, because we're up in arms over ONE situation ...when there are many other situations/acts that are just as harmful, even among "real Christians". That was my point. 

If we'd all agreed to pray the Christian woman mentioned by the OP finds herself in a  situation that won't harm her walk with God, this would have more of an impact. The thread wouldn't have spiraled down to who is a Warrior for Christ and who isn't.  Who can roar and who can't. Say, what? 

We are to separate ourselves from the World, not from others in the Body of Christ, so oftentimes _how _we treat one another carries more weight than who is right. To whom much is given, much is expected. 
But we are ALL sinners saved by Grace.







Shimmie said:


> Laela, we have to very careful with the use of the 'judge' not scripture.   For far too many use it to as a free pass.
> 
> The lifestyle 'questioned' in this thread is a mess!  It's already judged itself.
> 
> ...


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

msa said:


> The thing is, I know this situation is not of my doing, but of God's. Why? Because He's giving me a testimony that I'm able to share with many many foster kids just like me. He's made a way out of no way just for me. He created this situation and is making sure that my sister and I get through it as shining examples of His love for us.
> 
> Was being in foster care a result of my decisions? No.
> Was not having any family to turn to a result of my decisions? No.
> ...


msa, don't play games.   

You knew that this subject was about male/female roommates, not fosteer families.   When you posted , you shared absolutely nothing about being a foster child.    Here's your comment:

_I currently still live with a man who is not related to me..._

So don't play games.  You're not going to get away with trying to 'appear'  innocent'.   *You* *gave the full impression that you had a male roommate.*   That was your choice of words and choice of impression, not mine.   

Your foster family situation as you are *now explaining in detail* has nothing to do with the subject being addressed in this thread.   But you chose to put it out there as if it were.  

I've made it very clear what I am addressing in this thread, which is non related, non family oriented male and female roommates.    Don't make what I've shared into something that it is not.   I never addressed anything related to family situations in this thread.   

Stop trying to be so deceptive.     You should have been up front from the very beginning.


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

Laela said:


> This is my last post in this thread because I don't believe in strife among us, Shimmie.
> 
> I understand what you first said.... *actually I agree with a lot of what you've said*. The Word itself can be an offense and I'm not offended one bit. But unless we're been charged by God to lead a flock, being a warrior for Christ and standing up for our beliefs and the Word doesn't give us authority over people's lives like that  God doesn't need our help to be God.
> 
> ...


 
Bye - Bye...   Blessings.   I'm not here for strife either.  :Rose:


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## msa (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> msa, don't play games.
> 
> You knew that this subject was about male/female roommates, not fosteer families.   When you posted , you shared absolutely nothing about being a foster child.    Here's your comment:
> 
> ...



First, you must have missed the part where I said...


> *I currently still live with a man who is not related to me.* Am I sinning? Nope. *I was lucky to have a family take me in* when I had no other place to go.



Second, notice I said a family, not my family. So as far as the definition of a roommate, I live in a home with an unrelated male. If it's a sin, then it's a sin regardless of the circumstances right? He can have lust for me just like any other man since a man is a man right? And he's not family which would make that even more likely.

I wasn't trying to be deceptive (especially since most posters on this board know my situation). My point was you can't make an arbitrary ruling and not look at the facts and the context of the situation. 

And like I said, in college I lived with unrelated males. Worked for me just fine especially since I had no other option. There was no sin it whatsoever.

Now maybe it'd be a sin for you or other people, but that doesn't make it so for everyone. And just because you don't think God is in a situation, doesn't make it true. You shouldn't speak with so much authority on where God is and what He's doing when you can't possibly know.


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## Nice & Wavy (Oct 26, 2009)

Ahhhh....just what satan wanted....nono:


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## momi (Oct 26, 2009)

Nice & Wavy said:


> Ahhhh....just what satan wanted....nono:


 
i would not hold satan responsible for this... 

someone came in with a question - when a question is posed you will get different responses (many of which you may not agree with).  imho if you did not want a genuine response then the question should not have been posted - or maybe posted with a disclaimer of some sort.

lhcf is a forum with a diverse group of women - different backgrounds, experiences and such... disagreements are inevitable.  however i do believe we should disagree in such a way that the end result is a learning opportunity for everyone and comments should not be taken or stated as a personal attack on anyone.  

excuse my lack of punctuation... i started out that way and did not feel like going back to change it.


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## Nice & Wavy (Oct 26, 2009)

momi said:


> i would not give satan any glory in this...
> 
> someone came in with a question - when a question is posed you will get different responses (many of which you may not agree with).  imho if you did not want a genuine response then the question should not have been posted - or maybe posted with a disclaimer of some sort.
> 
> ...


Never gave him the glory, sis...didn't have too.

Anytime there is fighting amongst the brethren this way, there you will find confusion and every evil work.

That's what I meant when I posted my post.

No problem... your punctuation was fine.

ETA: I see you changed your original wording and I did not hold satan responsible for this, but when we look at the bigger picture, this is his plan, to divide the brethren at any cost.

There will be disagreements amongst the brethren, but there is a way to do it, even in the worst of circumstances.


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## pebbles (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> The sad thing about this is that no one is seeing the consequences of not seeing this as wrong.
> 
> Before you know it, there'll be Christians one after another followng suit; all because of the ones who say, it's okay.
> 
> ...


 
We are commanded in 2 Corinthians 6:17: * "Therefore come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord..."*  That's a tall order in todays world, but it's right there for all to see. 

And in 1 Thessalonians 5:22, we are reminded to avoid the _*very appearance*_ of anything evil/sinful/wicked/wrong, etc. Pick whichever word you'd like. The word of GOD is clear, with no ambiguity.  Thanks Shimmie for your post.


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

msa said:


> First, you must have missed the part where I said...
> 
> Second, notice I said a family, not my family. So as far as the definition of a roommate, I live in a home with an unrelated male. If it's a sin, then it's a sin regardless of the circumstances right? He can have lust for me just like any other man since a man is a man right? And he's not family which would make that even more likely.
> 
> ...


 
After this, I have nothing more to say on this subject.  I have other things 

msa, you knew what you were doing in this thread. 

You just proved my point.  You admitted that you began with your testimony about your male college roommates of which you are quite proud of and feel there is nothing wrong with.  That's your choice.   You are well entitled to it.  However, it is also the world's standard, not the Body of Christ.  It's for those who don't have a conviction about how it looks.   

Later you came back with your opening statement of boldness that you were still living with a man unrelated.   Directly after your college glee and straight into living with a man... unrelated.    That's exactly how you wanted it to read.   Otherwise you would have been up front about your foster family from the very beginning.   That was your choice of the impression you wanted to relay. 

NOW, with the same authority of and which you are so boldly speaking your support of *your 'college' experience* (not your foster family which I most certainly respect),  I can speak even more boldly and with full authority about the pure image of the Body of Christ simply because I have the word of God to back me up.  Simple Fact.    

And why would you try and project a negative image of your 'father' in your foster family?   You're not proving a point relating to the roommate issue, by misusing him as an example.  You said yourself, you are in a family.   

Dear Lord, proving a thread point is not that serious, lending to dispagement of someone who gave you a home with his family as a part of his family.     

In your 'efforts' to use him as an example relating to this thread topic,  you are instead, projecting a negative image of a famiy man who loves you as his child or sister.   Major difference from the roommate issue.  Major. 

This man whom you initially introduced as non family does not deserve the *roommate image* that you've suggested about him.   He loves you and your sister as family.   How sad that you would project him otherwise just to prove a point in a silly thread.   Totally and completely unrelated to the topic. 



:thatsall:


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

pebbles said:


> We are commanded in 2 Corinthians 6:17: *"Therefore come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord..."* That's a tall order in todays world, but it's right there for all to see.
> 
> And in 1 Thessalonians 5:22, we are reminded to avoid the _*very appearance*_ of anything evil/sinful/wicked/wrong, etc. Pick whichever word you'd like. The word of GOD is clear, with no ambiguity. Thanks Shimmie for your post.


It's a very tall order in today's world.  

However, I'm out of this thread.  :Rose:


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## Shimmie (Oct 26, 2009)

Nice & Wavy said:


> Ahhhh....just what satan wanted....nono:


 
I know what you mean by this, too.   

Something's not right.  I never thought that I'd ever see a subject such as this to be a 'question' for Christians.   I mean, What in the World?  And it is what the enemy wants.  

Remember when Paul cried out, O' my beloved Corinthians, who has bewitched you?    Dear God in Heaven, anytime a Christian stops protecting themselves from sin and even the temptation of it.......

You know I have family members who are not saved and yet they will shoot a man who tried to live in the same dwelling with their daughters.  And go to jail and break out; dig them up and then shoot them again. 

Cause they KNOW!  This ain't right!    :hello:   


Now I'm done.  I saw your post and Pebs just as I was logging out.  :Rose:


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## Nice & Wavy (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> I know what you mean by this, too.
> 
> Something's not right.  I never thought that I'd ever see a subject such as this to be a 'question' for Christians.   I mean, What in the World?  And it is what the enemy wants.
> 
> ...


Thank you, sis.  I'm embarrassed at this whole thing...I really am.  I'm done here too


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## msa (Oct 26, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> After this, I have nothing more to say on this subject.  I have other things
> 
> 
> 
> :thatsall:




Thanks.

.......


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## Ramya (Oct 27, 2009)

Everything SHOULD be a question for Christians. See I've learned that some of 'us' like to 'place' personal convictions on other Christians. I question everything and the Word of God is my answer. And when it is not explicit in the Word, I turn to the Holy Spirit. And hold fast to what He thinks and what He says. Sometimes we can really lack tact and compassion each other.


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