# Dating and Celibacy as a Christian



## Kinkyhairlady (Jun 15, 2013)

Posting this here instead of the relationship forum cause I really need advice from true believers. I' made the decision to be celibate until marriage mainly because of my faith and just simply not wanting to share my body with every man that comes along. 

This has been an issue for me in my past 2 relationships which caused things to fizzle really quick but I have no regrets. Now that I'm dating again this issue is resurfacing and I am not sure how to handle it. The guy is Christian but admits he's not interested in being celibate and has to think about it and pray. Now I'm faced with us not moving any further because of something the bible clearly speaks against. Men in the church are no better than the ones outside seriously. 

Any ladies have some inspirational stories in which both you and your partner decided to wait and later married? Im not going to back up on my promise to God but this is making dating so much harder.


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## MrsHaseeb (Jun 15, 2013)

Well... If he is trying to fornicate that eliminates him being a Christian. He cant possibly have the love of Jesus Christ for you in his heart if he's willing to damn both you and him by committing fornication... Men like him are not in the Church because the Church is a body of Spirit filled and Spirit led believers, not people who attend a church building. Put your eyes in Jesus and let him perfect and protect you from such men. A man willing to damn you both by sinning against Jesus and can call himself a Christian in the next breath is a dangerous individual. Please run.

Try not to get too caught up in dating and marriage according to the world but rather pray that Jesus will transform you and send you a man after His heart. This man is of the world. Not of the body of Christ.


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## songbird8 (Jun 15, 2013)

please be encouraged because you're not alone. its frustrating but you have to stick to your guns, and dont let him bend you. i'm currently in a long-term relationship and this area is a struggle for us, but he knew what i was about from jump. so he knew if we were going to be together that wasnt goin down, and it wont until we say "i do." even though its not always easy, guess what, he has no choice but to respect me or KIM. so if this man really loves you, sees something special in you AND respects you, HE WILL WAIT.  be encouraged sis!


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## Belle Du Jour (Jun 15, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> This has been an issue for me in my past 2 relationships which caused things to fizzle really quick but I have no regrets. Now that I'm dating again this issue is resurfacing and I am not sure how to handle it. *The guy is Christian but admits he's not interested in being celibate and has to think about it and pray.* Now I'm faced with us not moving any further because of something the bible clearly speaks against. Men in the church are no better than the ones outside seriously.
> 
> Any ladies have some inspirational stories in which both you and your partner decided to wait and later married? Im not going to back up on my promise to God but this is making dating so much harder.



If he has to "pray about it"  then he has basically eliminated himself from serious consideration.  Do not pass go or collect $200.  Both of you are not even in the same place spiritually if he isn't sure that fornication is sin.  It would be one thing if he had a past and has made a firm resolution to "go and sin no more" but if he isn't even there yet, he is not in a place to be your spiritual head, IMO.  How can two walk if they don't agree?  I would let him go on his merry way.  Maybe he may mature but it's not your job to evangelize a boy into a man.   

Like I read on one of my favorite blogs, chastity will weed out the wrong men, guaranteed.  The ones who either don't believe in it or are just pretending won't go the distance.  That means you probably won't be dating a lot.  But God is a giver of good and perfect gifts and if you are ok with quality over quantity, then be still and wait on God.  

As far as inspirational stories, I have read several.  I've posted some in the christian singles thread on here.  You can also read Boundless and www.ylcf.org for courtship stories. Another God-orchestrated love story can be found here: http://wissmanns.blogspot.com/2012/06/our-love-story.html  I will also post some uplifting links in a bit. 

_"For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised." Heb 10:36_


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## Kinkyhairlady (Jun 15, 2013)

songbird8 said:


> please be encouraged because you're not alone. its frustrating but you have to stick to your guns, and dont let him bend you. i'm currently in a long-term relationship and this area is a struggle for us, but he knew what i was about from jump. so he knew if we were going to be together that wasnt goin down, and it wont until we say "i do." even though its not always easy, guess what, he has no choice but to respect me or KIM. so if this man really loves you, sees something special in you AND respects you, HE WILL WAIT.  be encouraged sis!



Yes that is what I say but I'm afraid he'll cheat cause he cant deal with it but I don't know.he does not come off as a cheater but ive heard that's what usually happens when these men are with woman who are abstaining. The sad thing is that 75% of the unwed couples in churches are engaging in relations. Its like its become the norm.


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## Leigh (Jun 15, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> Yes that is what I say but I'm afraid he'll cheat cause he cant deal with it but I don't know.he does not come off as a cheater but ive heard that's what usually happens when these men are with woman who are abstaining. The sad thing is that 75% of the unwed couples in churches are engaging in relations. Its like its become the norm.



Let him know you require marriage to have relations.


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## menina (Jun 15, 2013)

MrsHaseeb said:


> Well... If he is trying to fornicate that eliminates him being a Christian. He cant possibly have the love of Jesus Christ for you in his heart if he's willing to damn both you and him by committing fornication... Men like him are not in the Church because the Church is a body of Spirit filled and Spirit led believers, not people who attend a church building. Put your eyes in Jesus and let him perfect and protect you from such men. A man willing to damn you both by sinning against Jesus and can call himself a Christian in the next breath is a dangerous individual. Please run.
> 
> Try not to get too caught up in dating and marriage according to the world but rather pray that Jesus will transform you and send you a man after His heart. This man is of the world. Not of the body of Christ.


 
I wouldn't say he's not Christian, but he's definitely spiritually immature. There are a lot of 'confession only' people out there unfortunately. I'm only mentioning this, because while we know the fruit, God knows the heart.


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## kaykari (Jun 15, 2013)

Stop chasing him sis. Dont let the enemy use him to get to you. Dont let some man take advantage of your vulnerabilities.


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## MrsHaseeb (Jun 16, 2013)

menina said:


> I wouldn't say he's not Christian, but he's definitely spiritually immature. There are a lot of 'confession only' people out there unfortunately. I'm only mentioning this, because while we know the fruit, God knows the heart.



Hi Menina  There is no such thing as a Christian fornicator. That's an oxymoron. If a Christian falls into fornication and repents then I don't believe God takes away their salvation. However, I said he's not a Christian because he seems to have no problem making fornication a lifestyle. It's impossible to be a Christian and do that since a Christian is a follower of Jesus Christ.


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## nlamr2013 (Jun 16, 2013)

I recently read this article. 
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012...id=288381481237582&ref=profile_open_graph#_=_


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Jun 16, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> Yes that is what I say but I'm afraid he'll cheat cause he cant deal with it but I don't know.he does not come off as a cheater but ive heard that's what usually happens when these men are with woman who are abstaining. The sad thing is that 75% of the unwed couples in churches are engaging in relations. Its like its become the norm.



If he can't respect your decision to wait he's not the one, if he cheats that's a sure sign he's not the one, if he says he's a Christian and is having sex before marriage he's definitely not the one.


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## menina (Jun 16, 2013)

MrsHaseeb said:


> Hi Menina  There is no such thing as a Christian fornicator. That's an oxymoron. If a Christian falls into fornication and repents then I don't believe God takes away their salvation. However, I said he's not a Christian because he seems to have no problem making fornication a lifestyle. It's impossible to be a Christian and do that since a Christian is a follower of Jesus Christ.


 
I hear you MrsHaseeb  I don't think it's always that simple, so I'm careful of saying people are or aren't Christian. Unfortunately there's 'Christians' (folks believing in Jesus and grace) sinning, backsliding, straddling the fence, and refusing to die to their flesh. And then those who only believe part of the the bible.


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## Kinkyhairlady (Jun 16, 2013)

So what does one do if they never find someone willing to wait? What would you ladies do? Are you willing to live a life alone because no man is willing to wait? I'm just curious because this is a real issue for some. Me I will continue to pray for what God has for me but I know waiting even for the woman can be frustrating.


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## janiebaby (Jun 16, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady I almost didn't post but felt like I needed to. I think there are plenty of guys who are willing to wait. The question becomes how long is the wait? I have a friend that was with a guy maybe 2-3 years (?-maybe 2) and I know she was a virgin on their wedding night. They're both Christian and involved in the church. They met at church when he asked about her I believe. 

I would post advice but each person's experience is different and I don't know the particulars of your story.


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## Belle Du Jour (Jun 16, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> So what does one do if they never find someone willing to wait? What would you ladies do? Are *you willing to live a life alone because no man is willing to wait? *I'm just curious because this is a real issue for some. Me I will continue to pray for what God has for me but I know waiting even for the woman can be frustrating.



YES.  That is the only alternative, IMO.  And YES, it is a hard reality.  

But how can I claim to love God and do the exact opposite of what He says just because it's too difficult?  The cross was also difficult but we know Jesus humbled Himself and was obedient to the point of death.  

I had to get to this point for myself when I asked _well, what's the alternative if the guy never shows up?_  I know it may sound extreme to some but Heaven is real and I want to go there.   I also don't want to do anything that would wreck my relationship with God.

This is a great chapter on purity http://www.pathsoflove.com/books/three-to-get-married/chapter8/  especially this part:



> There is, therefore, no such thing as an "old maid" or a "bachelor" from the Christian point of view. These terms apply only to those unhappy ones who have found no will to share, no purpose to fulfill either in heaven or earth. To find no ear in heaven or on earth to listen to "I love you," or "I surrender," or "Be it done unto me according to thy word," must indeed be of all human existences, the most tragic. But to keep the secret for God, until God calls to another in time, is the greatest happiness given to hearts in this vale of tears.
> 
> *It may very well be that, with God's special grace, the secret in some will be kept forever, because of the desire that no other shall know it but God Himself.* Such is in brief the religious life of consecrated souls: the pursuit of God through purity.



I just have to trust that He knows what He's doing and will give me enough grace I need to get through each day, one step at a time. 

ETA a disclaimer: I am not perfect and have my days when I whine and grumble.  If one has a desire for marriage and children, it will never completely go away if that desire is not fulfilled.  However, I do believe God has a bigger plan and it will all make sense one day, even if it's not what I want.


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## MrsHaseeb (Jun 16, 2013)

Belle Du Jour said:


> YES.  That is the only alternative, IMO.  And YES, it is a hard reality.
> 
> But how can I claim to love God and do the exact opposite of what He says just because it's too difficult?  The cross was also difficult but we know Jesus humbled Himself and was obedient to the point of death.
> 
> ...



Amen Belle.


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## MrsHaseeb (Jun 16, 2013)

Belle Du Jour said:


> ETA a disclaimer: I am not perfect and have my days when I whine and grumble.  If one has a desire for marriage and children, it will never completely go away if that desire is not fulfilled.  However, I do believe God has a bigger plan and it will all make sense one day, even if it's not what I want.



Amen Again 

I have realized on this walk that God's plans for us are not always our plans. The best thing we can do is find His will and live in it. I believe it is a righteous desire to want to be married and that God is well able to honor that desire if we remain faithful.


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## Nice & Wavy (Jun 16, 2013)

menina said:


> *I wouldn't say he's not Christian*, but he's definitely spiritually immature. There are a lot of 'confession only' people out there unfortunately. I'm only mentioning this, *because while we know the fruit, God knows the heart*.


In church today, we were reading these scriptures and your post came to my heart and I wanted to post what the Bible says about the bolded:



> 7 Little children, let no one deceive you. *Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous.* 8 *Whoever  makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been  sinning from the beginning*. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. 9 *No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's[b] seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God.**10 By  this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the  children of the devil:* *whoever does not practice righteousness is not of  God*, nor is the one who does not love his brother.  I John 3: 7-10


If this man is having sexual relations outside of marriage, clearly these scriptures apply to him...


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Jun 16, 2013)

Be weary of a man or woman who does not practice self control, we control our bodies, our bodies don't control us.


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## menina (Jun 16, 2013)

Nice & Wavy said:


> In church today, we were reading these scriptures and your post came to my heart and I wanted to post what the Bible says about the bolded:
> 
> If this man is having sexual relations outside of marriage, clearly these scriptures apply to him...


 
Of course and a bunch of other people who would be surprised to find out that they may not be true Christians.

I didn't mean to derail this thread, and I'm not giving this dude or his unrighteousness any excuses. I simply would describe him differently than just 'not a Christian'. That's all.


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## Nice & Wavy (Jun 16, 2013)

menina said:


> Of course and a bunch of other people who would be surprised to find out that they may not be true Christians.
> 
> I didn't mean to derail this thread, and I'm not giving this dude or his unrighteousness any excuses. I simply would use different words to describe him. That's all.


Thank you for your post, sis


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## Kinkyhairlady (Jun 16, 2013)

Ladies just an update... I spent a few hours with him after church today and I brought the celibacy thing up again and he has decided to wait but admits it will be hard. Mind you this conversation is taking place in his room and he was a complete gentleman. We'll see how this goes. I feel better now knowing he wont be pressuring me but I'm not naive either so I'm keeping an eye on him. Thanks ladies for the advice. Its hard but I know ill be happier waiting for my husband.


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## Poohbear (Jun 16, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> So what does one do if they never find someone willing to wait? What would you ladies do? Are you willing to live a life alone because no man is willing to wait? I'm just curious because this is a real issue for some. Me I will continue to pray for what God has for me but I know waiting even for the woman can be frustrating.



I would rather keep waiting rather than give my body up to a bunch of different men. You can date without sex. Before my current boyfriend, I would date without having sex. All you have to do is talk on the phone or go out in public to a restaurant, movie, bowling alley, game, etc. Never just have long periods of idle time at his place or your place, and never spend the night. Dating this way keeps your mind clear and your emotions in check, and not only that, obeying God's word by fleeing sexual immorality and not sinning against your own temple.


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## disgtgyal (Jun 17, 2013)

Waiting until marriage whether you're a virgin or born again virgin is much easier when you're with someone who equally shares your desire to be remain pure because when temptation arises you need someone who will be strong when you're weak, you need someone who will remind you of the vow you both made. I don't know the guy nor am I judging him but if you've had to somewhat coax him into believing that you both should abstain he will more likely than not provide you with the means of giving in when temptation sets in. My advice would be to remain friends because as you've said he's spiritually immature so he can't cover you nor the relationship as man should.


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## Successfulmiss (Jun 17, 2013)

*I was celibate for 3 years before my husband found me and it was THE BEST DECISION I ever made!*  It took out any doubt, confusion or false promises that tried to come along. I had so much clarity and it was during that time I had the closest walk with God during my Christian life for the first time. I admonish any young or old person to be celibate before marriage and/or remain a virgin. Although it can be hard. My body naturally submitted to the Holy Spirit after a while and it was to the point I didnt even let a man touch me, etc. It was one of the greatest times of my life before marriage because God really developed my gifts and I was even more attractive to my husband. He was so happy I was celibate and still can't keep his eyes off me till this day. It really served a purpose and made a _BIG_ difference in my marriage before and after. Be encouraged!


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## trclemons (Jun 17, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> Yes that is what I say but I'm afraid he'll cheat cause he cant deal with it but I don't know.he does not come off as a cheater but ive heard that's what usually happens when these men are with woman who are abstaining. The sad thing is that 75% of the unwed couples in churches are engaging in relations. Its like its become the norm.


I'm not sure where this 75% statistic comes from and it really doesn't matter because the Word of God is the standard and not the real or perceived actions of unwed couples in the church.

As believers, we need to be very careful about what we "look at" because the enemy is using it to desensitize us to the standards of the Lord.  And later on, the enemy will open a door for you to use those same rationalizations to compromise the Word of God.

For example, I haven't watched Scandal, but my Mom was talking about it and she just lit up as she started talking about Olivia & the President's love relationship.  And I asked her why was the God in her not offended by that adulterous relationship.  Ultimately, it was because "Hellywood" (not a typo) draws on your emotions and you start identifying with the characters emotionally and intellectually, which leads you to rationalize, justify  & eventually accept their ungodly behavior; even though you know, it is contrary to the Word of God. 

Likewise, if you keep looking at the couples who are compromising, eventually you will rationalize and join in to what you have determined to be "the norm".  Hebrews 12:1-2 admonishes us to "...run with patience the race that is set before us.  Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith..."  Jesus is the standard and we must keep our eyes on Him.


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## trclemons (Jun 17, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> Ladies just an update... I spent a few hours with him after church today and I brought the celibacy thing up again and he has decided to wait but admits it will be hard. Mind you this conversation is taking place in his room and he was a complete gentleman. We'll see how this goes. I feel better now knowing he wont be pressuring me but I'm not naive either so I'm keeping an eye on him. Thanks ladies for the advice. Its hard but I know ill be happier waiting for my husband.


Ok, but I just have a few rhetorical questions:

1.  	Why were the both of you in his room when it’s obvious that he has an issue with his flesh?

2.  	Why did he not come to the conclusion that you were worth him “trying” to be celibate for until after you initiated another conversation about celibacy?

3.	Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that you have to keep an eye on already?

4.	Why are you allowing the fear of not finding someone to make you cling to a guy that God has clearly not finished developing?

5.	Most importantly, what has God said about this situation?


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## disgtgyal (Jun 18, 2013)

trclemons said:


> Ok, but I just have a few rhetorical questions:
> 
> 1.  	Why were the both of you in his room when it’s obvious that he has an issue with his flesh?
> 
> ...



Thanks was not enough, those were very important questions for her to ask herself. I'm not saying he isn't the one, but i believe the man he is right now isn't the one, they seem to be at two very different points spiritually. iMO the ability to delay gratification is a strong indicator of maturity. As for question 4 I think society has played a great role in developing that fear in women because everywhere you go you hear the lack of eligible men particularly AA men so now when you add Christian man to that it makes it even more difficult or seemingly impossible, but I disagree if it's God will for you to be married even if your God ordained husband is on the other side of the world both of your paths will cross at the right time and place. When it comes to sex some of these Christian men are worse than unbelievers I had one tell me just coz you keep a treat in a wrapper doesn't mean it won't spoil and no man wants to unwrap his treat and find out its spoiled. I think  some men in the church find some type of pleasure in making a virgin/ celibate woman compromise.


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## Successfulmiss (Jun 18, 2013)

*Sex before marriage is just not worth it to me.* Sorry, it's just not worth the peace of mind and closeness I have to the Lord. I have had sex while in church and then became celibate and* it is so much better*. Sex before marriage just hurts your chances of your true husband finding you. And all those soul ties(souls having an ungodly bond, leaving room for manipulation etc) involved SMH! The anguish involved with sex before marriage is totally deadening inside. At least for me it was. It don't know how some women do it for so long and some never even get married and then judge those that do. I cannot say enough about how God has blessed my marriage when I choose celibacy before marriage and to be totally honest if *YOU* yourself cannot refrain from these sort of men (80% of men in the church are this way, in my experience). Then maybe you should not be dating whatsoever and ask God to take any fleshly desire way until He is ready for you to marry. This is what I did and it saved me a world of hurt. Warning comes before trouble. Even if I gotten close to dating a guy during my years of celibacy, I let them know up front that my relationship with God is more important to me then them and if they even wanted to take me to dinner, they had better be considering marriage with me, period. End of story. If their relationship with God is more important to them then you, then they will understand, which should be the standard from a biblical standpoint. If you do not lift up a standard, they will have no respect for you and treat you common; just like every other woman willing to give casual sex. Not to be harsh but I wish someone would have told me this very same way when I made mistakes before I decided celibacy before marriage. Only the Lord could help me and no amount of preaching did, no matter how much the Pastor sweated preaching . _You need to take this to the Lord._


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## disgtgyal (Jun 18, 2013)

I too don't understand casual sex, like how could you let just any man in you and I am not even speaking from a spiritual standpoint but just morals and values. When you're applying for a job there is an application process and in the interview you need to qualify yourself and explain why you're the best candidate and that's just a job, why then shouldn't a man qualify himself to be a sexual partner. I've asked a friend this in the past and her only explanation it's about having a good time and being in the moment. Idk again I just cant rationalize it


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## sweetvi (Jun 18, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady
There is this wonderful book called 101 things to do without sex written by Christian author Jennifer Lucy Tyler.  This book has great ideas you both can do.  

My dear friend dated someone who was not mature in that aspect and she had to go through something similar. As a matter of fact, he was a christian who fornicated and she wasn't. Lol. Anyway she stuck to her boundaries and did not compromise.   He never tried anything as far as I know.  She prayed fervently and I think in less than a year he proposed.  She actually was ready to leave him if he showed any signs of disrespect. But his walk grew more mature.  As a matter of fact, she did leave him initially,  but they got back together.  Goes to show you what is meant for you will be for you. They are now on 4 year marriage with a big house and just had a second child.  She lectures me saying know your worth and don't compromise. Men will always test and if they see your wishy washy, they won't believe you and will continue trying. 


Successfulmiss

Maybe you can give her pointers on how you and hubby dated.  It is easy to be celibate when your single  and/or not attracted to prospects.  However when you think you have found someone with potential,  that's where the problem lies......


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## Belle Du Jour (Jun 18, 2013)

Slightly off topic but there are some wonderful books and resources (blogs, websites, etc) on chastity and Christian sexuality:

The Thrill of the Chaste (Former Jew -->Christian)
When God Writes Your Love Story
When God is Your Matchmaker
Woman in Love
Theology of the Body (great series of talks about the true purpose of sex in marriage.  There are several "cliff notes" versions.)

Blogs/Websites:
http://chastity.com/
http://madeinhisimage.org/
http://www.arleenspenceley.com/
http://worthyofagape.com/
http://theveilofchastity.com


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## Successfulmiss (Jun 18, 2013)

sweetavi

My husband and I were military when we got together. We got engaged within 4 months and are together over 4 years later. We went to Christian marriage counseling to give us accountability and stability. Being military and godly we wanted to be professional and honorable(with  the possibility of deployment), thus why we choose to get married so quickly. I became agreeable to God's will when He told me I was going to get married, that is why I knew I had to maintain celibacy for so long. For me and with God being my Heavenly Father, He knew it would have had to been a quick courtship. I know everyone is not the same but the Bible does say it's better to marry then burn. Not saying just get married for sex, but I think God has humor in that verse and it worked for us! We take our vows very serious. Even to this day, we try to keep our marriage pure and ask "God is this OK?". We still want to keep God first in all things.


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## Kinkyhairlady (Jun 18, 2013)

sweetvi said:


> Kinkyhairlady
> There is this wonderful book called 101 things to do without sex written by Christian author Jennifer Lucy Tyler.  This book has great ideas you both can do.
> 
> My dear friend dated someone who was not mature in that aspect and she had to go through something similar. As a matter of fact, he was a christian who fornicated and she wasn't. Lol. Anyway she stuck to her boundaries and did not compromise.   He never tried anything as far as I know.  She prayed fervently and I think in less than a year he proposed.  She actually was ready to leave him if he showed any signs of disrespect. But his walk grew more mature.  As a matter of fact, she did leave him initially,  but they got back together.  Goes to show you what is meant for you will be for you. They are now on 4 year marriage with a big house and just had a second child.  She lectures me saying know your worth and don't compromise. Men will always test and if they see your wishy washy, they won't believe you and will continue trying.
> ...



Thank you sweetvi! I will check out the book. Yes I agree we have to know our worth. I think he def was testing me and now that I've shown that I will not hesitate to walk away I see a change. He sees that my relationship with God is more important. I told him how is he gonna try to get me to sin and upset God with him. Sent him verses to show him its not worth it. Now he's ashamed and embarrassed of what he said. He needs more prayer.


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## sweetvi (Jun 18, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady 

Glad you passed the test!  The book has really cute ideas. You will both enjoy it.  Also, the fact he repented and felt conviction.....then there is hope.  Now if he reacted otherwise....then errrrr. Lol


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## stephluv (Jul 15, 2013)

Successfulmiss said:


> *I was celibate for 3 years before my husband found me and it was THE BEST DECISION I ever made!*  It took out any doubt, confusion or false promises that tried to come along. I had so much clarity and it was during that time I had the closest walk with God during my Christian life for the first time. I admonish any young or old person to be celibate before marriage and/or remain a virgin. Although it can be hard. My body naturally submitted to the Holy Spirit after a while and it was to the point I didnt even let a man touch me, etc. It was one of the greatest times of my life before marriage because God really developed my gifts and I was even more attractive to my husband. He was so happy I was celibate and still can't keep his eyes off me till this day. It really served a purpose and made a _BIG_ difference in my marriage before and after. Be encouraged!


 
Thanks for your input!! 3yrs!!! ::says a prayer:: i thought yr 1 was gonna be alot tougher for me but I made it through



sweetvi said:


> @Kinkyhairlady
> *There is this wonderful book called 101 things to do without sex written by Christian author Jennifer Lucy Tyler. This book has great ideas you both can do. *
> 
> My dear friend dated someone who was not mature in that aspect and she had to go through something similar. As a matter of fact, he was a christian who fornicated and she wasn't. Lol. Anyway she stuck to her boundaries and did not compromise. He never tried anything as far as I know. She prayed fervently and I think in less than a year he proposed. She actually was ready to leave him if he showed any signs of disrespect. But his walk grew more mature. As a matter of fact, she did leave him initially, but they got back together. Goes to show you what is meant for you will be for you. They are now on 4 year marriage with a big house and just had a second child. She lectures me saying know your worth and don't compromise. Men will always test and if they see your wishy washy, they won't believe you and will continue trying.


 
@sweetvi - Got my book when we were at pinkypromise lol Also thank your for your friends testimony as well....happy she didnt stray


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## Kinkyhairlady (Aug 7, 2013)

I'd like to update this thread because this whole celibacy thing is really taking an emotional toll on me and my relationship. Though as of today I think my relationship is over. I'm upset because from the get go once I saw that we were not on the same page I should have left. Instead he convinced me to stay and that he will wait with me until marriage. Well now as of late he keeps complaining and I have to continue to say no we've already spoken about this and you know where I stand. Last night he basically told me this is to difficult for him and he's not trying to hurt or cheat but if I'm waiting until marriage he does not see how he can wait that long. He's even willing to marry quickly because he cant wait. its me that keeps sating no we need to know each other better before doing that. I had heavy tears in my eyes last night because not only did I feel betrayed but also I started to think where am I gonna find a 30 something yr old man who will be willing to wait until marriage? I know I don't want to engage in such activity even if I have in the past but I want to grow closer to God and going against his word is so hypocritical. 

This is such a challenge especially at my age. I know God may intervene but sometimes I feel discouraged.


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## blessedandfavoured (Aug 7, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> I'd like to update this thread because this whole celibacy thing is really taking an emotional toll on me and my relationship. Though as of today I think my relationship is over. I'm upset because from the get go once I saw that we were not on the same page I should have left. *Instead he convinced me to stay and that he will wait with me until marriage.* Well now as of late he keeps complaining and I have to continue to say no we've already spoken about this and you know where I stand. Last night he basically told me this is to difficult for him and he's not trying to hurt or cheat but if I'm waiting until marriage he does not see how he can wait that long. He's even willing to marry quickly because he cant wait. its me that keeps sating no we need to know each other better before doing that. I had heavy tears in my eyes last night because not only did I feel betrayed but also I started to think where am I gonna find a 30 something yr old man who will be willing to wait until marriage? I know I don't want to engage in such activity even if I have in the past but I want to grow closer to God and going against his word is so hypocritical.
> 
> This is such a challenge especially at my age. I know God may intervene but sometimes I feel discouraged.



It's for the best - this man does not fear God, and the only place he is able to lead you is hell.  1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 makes it expressly clear that God abhors sexual immorality, and those who have a problem with that have a problem with HIM.  This man's problem is bigger than his desire for sex, it is that he is not walking with God.  If he was, he would not be 'waiting with you', he would be honouring God with his body, regardless of your opinion.  

Since (I assume) you genuinely want a God-honouring marriage, avoid men like this.  The woman who pleases God will escape such men (Ecclesiastes 7:26).  I know it can be discouraging, but God made the world from nothing by the power of His word, what else can He not do?  Please, in future, listen to the voice of God, and to wise, godly counsel such as was given in this thread, and flee people who are allowing satan to reign in their lives.  You are God's child, don't let anyone convince you to offend Him.  And beware making an idol out of marriage, or anything else.

May God bless you as you continue to walk with Him and put Him first, and may He reward you for waiting on Him.  Those who wait on Him will not be ashamed.  May He also comfort and encourage you at this time.  And please, don't go back to this fellow, he is bad news.  God bless you.


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## pre_medicalrulz (Aug 7, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> I'd like to update this thread because this whole celibacy thing is really taking an emotional toll on me and my relationship. Though as of today I think my relationship is over. I'm upset because from the get go once I saw that we were not on the same page I should have left. Instead he convinced me to stay and that he will wait with me until marriage. Well now as of late he keeps complaining and I have to continue to say no we've already spoken about this and you know where I stand. Last night he basically told me this is to difficult for him and he's not trying to hurt or cheat but if I'm waiting until marriage he does not see how he can wait that long. He's even willing to marry quickly because he cant wait. its me that keeps sating no we need to know each other better before doing that. I had heavy tears in my eyes last night because not only did I feel betrayed but also I started to think where am I gonna find a 30 something yr old man who will be willing to wait until marriage? I know I don't want to engage in such activity even if I have in the past but I want to grow closer to God and going against his word is so hypocritical.
> 
> This is such a challenge especially at my age. I know God may intervene but sometimes I feel discouraged.



Girl I feel you. But there are men out there saying the same thing about finding a woman who will keep their legs closed until marriage. I meet them more often than a true christian would believe. Lol Its like finding a needle in a hay stack for some but they are out there. With faith comes patience. You will find one if your heart & faith is in the right place. Tell that dude to bounce!


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## FlyyBohemian (Aug 7, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> I'd like to update this thread because this whole celibacy thing is really taking an emotional toll on me and my relationship. Though as of today I think my relationship is over. I'm upset because from the get go once I saw that we were not on the same page I should have left. Instead he convinced me to stay and that he will wait with me until marriage. Well now as of late he keeps complaining and I have to continue to say no we've already spoken about this and you know where I stand. Last night he basically told me this is to difficult for him and he's not trying to hurt or cheat but if I'm waiting until marriage he does not see how he can wait that long. He's even willing to marry quickly because he cant wait. its me that keeps sating no we need to know each other better before doing that. I had heavy tears in my eyes last night because not only did I feel betrayed but also I started to think where am I gonna find a 30 something yr old man who will be willing to wait until marriage? I know I don't want to engage in such activity even if I have in the past but I want to grow closer to God and going against his word is so hypocritical.
> 
> This is such a challenge especially at my age. I know God may intervene but sometimes I feel discouraged.



I commend you for sticking to your morals and following God's Word.  However the fact that the man would rather marry you quickly than violate your morals shows that he is not that bad of a guy, and it's not wrong to take that approach. "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2 (NIV)In the same chapter it later on says "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Corinthians 7:9.(NIV) The thing that many women don't realize about men is that they need sex, companionship, and marriage more than we do. The Bible shows that women were created FOR men for this exact purpose. I think the man is just being upfront and I don't think he is a bad person. He thought he could be celibate and now that he can't he is presenting an option that can solve his problem the best way he knows how and according to scripture that option isn't bad. Now the issue is are you willing to marry the man? Are you ready to be married? Does he have the qualities that show that he is a good husband? If you answer yes to all these questions, there aren't any red flags, and you have consulted God about it then say marry him. My advice is don't drop the man so quickly. Tell him to give you some time to pray about the matter. Also, make sure that his reason for marrying you is not solely based on sex. That's a recipe for disaster. Now if you don't want to marry him then be fair to him and end the relationship so that you can both find the people who are meant for you. Don't be pressured into sex, marriage, or anything you are not ready for, but don't miss out on marriage or other good things in life based on emotions or rash decisions too. Think things through before you make a move. There are so many single woman in the church because sometimes the advice they get is by women who are celibate because they are hurt and jaded and not because they are trying to honor God. They hide behind their celibacy to protect themselves, and jaded women in and outside the church can prevent women from having great relationship through their advice. I want you to do what's best for you. I pray everything goes well and talk to God about it. 

Written with love,
FlyyBohemian


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## Kinkyhairlady (Aug 7, 2013)

FlyyBohemian said:


> I commend you for sticking to your morals and following God's Word.  However the fact that the man would rather marry you quickly than violate your morals shows that he is not that bad of a guy, and it's not wrong to take that approach. "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2 (NIV)In the same chapter it later on says "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Corinthians 7:9.(NIV) The thing that many women don't realize about men is that they need sex, companionship, and marriage more than we do. The Bible shows that women were created FOR men for this exact purpose. I think the man is just being upfront and I don't think he is a bad person. He thought he could be celibate and now that he can't he is presenting an option that can solve his problem the best way he knows how and according to scripture that option isn't bad. Now the issue is are you willing to marry the man? Are you ready to be married? Does he have the qualities that show that he is a good husband? If you answer yes to all these questions, there aren't any red flags, and you have consulted God about it then say marry him. My advice is don't drop the man so quickly. Tell him to give you some time to pray about the matter. Also, make sure that his reason for marrying you is not solely based on sex. That's a recipe for disaster. Now if you don't want to marry him then be fair to him and end the relationship so that you can both find the people who are meant for you. Don't be pressured into sex, marriage, or anything you are not ready for, but don't miss out on marriage or other good things in life based on emotions or rash decisions too. Think things through before you make a move. There are so many single woman in the church because sometimes the advice they get is by women who are celibate because they are hurt and jaded and not because they are trying to honor God. They hide behind their celibacy to protect themselves, and jaded women in and outside the church can prevent women from having great relationship through their advice. I want you to do what's best for you. I pray everything goes well and talk to God about it.
> 
> Written with love,
> FlyyBohemian



I understand what you are saying but me and him have not even been dating a year. I am still in the stages of getting to know him. I don't want to marry him after only known him for about 4 months. I don't have any desire to sleep with him either. Every time we are together it starts an argument cause if we just kiss he has an erection sorry for being graphic but that's what the problem is. He has lost control and basically is willing to walk away because he can't deal. I could understand if I made him wait a couple of years but no this is just 4 months what is the problem. I will never understand men. I honestly do care for him and don't want to lose him but I don't want to lose myself either.


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## AtlantaJJ (Aug 7, 2013)

Excellent thread. I'm pretty sure I just lost a "friend" because I let him know this friendship does not come with "benefits".  Except for a couple of text messages, there has been silence between us since I told him.


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## FlyyBohemian (Aug 7, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> I understand what you are saying but me and him have not even been dating a year. I am still in the stages of getting to know him. I don't want to marry him after only known him for about 4 months. I don't have any desire to sleep with him either. Every time we are together it starts an argument cause if we just kiss he has an erection sorry for being graphic but that's what the problem is. He has lost control and basically is willing to walk away because he can't deal. I could understand if I made him wait a couple of years but no this is just 4 months what is the problem. I will never understand men. I honestly do care for him and don't want to lose him but I don't want to lose myself either.



Oh wow. You didn't tell me that part. Four months is a bit too short for him to be acting up. You are right. If he wants to marry you, he should be willing to wait a little bit longer. Most guys want to have sex by four months. Don't worry. God will bless you with someone just as committed to celibacy as you.


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## Successfulmiss (Aug 7, 2013)

_Oh I love this thread because it is going to help so many women! _I am sorry but I have to say this....he is dead wrong and he is not being lead by God but his flesh. PERIOD! Some men will "talk" about marriage to try to get you to sleep with them! My husband got to the point that he didn't even want to show me any sort of "erection" or anything like that before we were married because that would have lead to temptation for me as well and he was trying very hard to be a gentlemen because he respected that I served the Lord. I am sorry but he knows what he is doing. This is why my husband and I went to counseling during our courtship because it is very hard to be young and trying to remain pure before marriage because we needed accountability. Mind you, my husband was not even in church before he met me! He claimed to be a complete agnostic prior to meeting me, although he had Pastors in his immediate family(agnostic=believing in a higher power but not submitting) but for him to want to seek counseling and go to our Pastor at the time about our courtship(he even proposed at the alter *TEARS*, I knew he was being lead by God. There should not be so much frustration, emotions involved etc, when God is the head. And like you said my sister in Christ; you do need to get to know him and having no sexual attraction to him is God confirming what we all have said here. This man is not truly interested in your best interest because you seem so hurt by this situation. Yes he mentioned marriage but don't just throw it out casually like this! Oh man . Before I became celibate, I had a relationship with someone in my old church(when I was a new Christian) and it went on for over 2 years and it caused me so much anguish and he did nothing but cause me pain and never married me! He only stopped pursuing me after he drove all the way to FL from ATL in this "hot" BMW, found my address(I don't even know how) and my husband answered the door! *I can't make this up! *LOL My husband told me it happened while I was at work & the guy even left his business card(he wanted to kill the guy but he is godly)and I don't want you to go there! You have your own decision to make I know & I could be totally wrong but please skip the years of anguish I went through


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## Belle Du Jour (Aug 8, 2013)

FlyyBohemian said:


> I commend you for sticking to your morals and following God's Word.  However the fact that the man would rather marry you quickly than violate your morals shows that he is not that bad of a guy, and it's not wrong to take that approach. "But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2 (NIV)In the same chapter it later on says "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Corinthians 7:9.(NIV) The thing that many women don't realize about men is that they need sex, companionship, and marriage more than we do. The Bible shows that women were created FOR men for this exact purpose. I think the man is just being upfront and I don't think he is a bad person. He thought he could be celibate and now that he can't he is presenting an option that can solve his problem the best way he knows how and according to scripture that option isn't bad. Now the issue is are you willing to marry the man? Are you ready to be married? Does he have the qualities that show that he is a good husband? If you answer yes to all these questions, there aren't any red flags, and you have consulted God about it then say marry him. My advice is don't drop the man so quickly. Tell him to give you some time to pray about the matter. Also, make sure that his reason for marrying you is not solely based on sex. That's a recipe for disaster. Now if you don't want to marry him then be fair to him and end the relationship so that you can both find the people who are meant for you. Don't be pressured into sex, marriage, or anything you are not ready for, but don't miss out on marriage or other good things in life based on emotions or rash decisions too. Think things through before you make a move. There are so many single woman in the church because sometimes the advice they get is by women who are celibate because they are hurt and jaded and not because they are trying to honor God. They hide behind their celibacy to protect themselves, and jaded women in and outside the church can prevent women from having great relationship through their advice. I want you to do what's best for you. I pray everything goes well and talk to God about it.
> 
> Written with love,
> FlyyBohemian



I respectfully disagree.  This man has failed miserably at demonstrating any restraint.  First, he wasn't sure he wanted to be celibate (which is already a huge red flag).  Next, he told her he would wait yet all the while still pressing her for more.  He is not husband material (at least, not currently).  He is still under the control of his flesh and if it wasn't OP, I get the impression he'd be pressing the next woman for sex.  

Why do we expect men who have demonstrated no control prior to engagement and marriage to suddenly be faithful after the ceremony?  It doesn't work like that.   Men have waited longer than 4 months for the woman they love so while sexual desire is a God-given drive to move people towards marriage, He also gave us control.  

OP, good luck with your decision.


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## FlyyBohemian (Aug 9, 2013)

Belle Du Jour said:


> I respectfully disagree.  This man has failed miserably at demonstrating any restraint.  First, he wasn't sure he wanted to be celibate (which is already a huge red flag).  Next, he told her he would wait yet all the while still pressing her for more.  He is not husband material (at least, not currently).  He is still under the control of his flesh and if it wasn't OP, I get the impression he'd be pressing the next woman for sex.
> 
> Why do we expect men who have demonstrated no control prior to engagement and marriage to suddenly be faithful after the ceremony?  It doesn't work like that.   Men have waited longer than 4 months for the woman they love so while sexual desire is a God-given drive to move people towards marriage, He also gave us control.
> 
> OP, good luck with your decision.



I get you. I didn't know the man was acting that way after 4 months. I was under the assumption that they were dating much longer than that.


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## Nice & Wavy (Aug 9, 2013)

blessedandfavoured said:


> It's for the best - this man does not fear God, and the only place he is able to lead you is hell.  1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 makes it expressly clear that God abhors sexual immorality, and those who have a problem with that have a problem with HIM.  This man's problem is bigger than his desire for sex, it is that he is not walking with God.  If he was, he would not be 'waiting with you', he would be honouring God with his body, regardless of your opinion.
> 
> Since (I assume) you genuinely want a God-honouring marriage, avoid men like this.  The woman who pleases God will escape such men (Ecclesiastes 7:26).  I know it can be discouraging, but God made the world from nothing by the power of His word, what else can He not do?  Please, in future, listen to the voice of God, and to wise, godly counsel such as was given in this thread, and flee people who are allowing satan to reign in their lives.  You are God's child, don't let anyone convince you to offend Him.  And beware making an idol out of marriage, or anything else.
> 
> May God bless you as you continue to walk with Him and put Him first, and may He reward you for waiting on Him.  Those who wait on Him will not be ashamed.  May He also comfort and encourage you at this time.  And please, don't go back to this fellow, he is bad news.  God bless you.


Yes, yes....and YES!!!



Kinkyhairlady said:


> I understand what you are saying but me and him have not even been dating a year. I am still in the stages of getting to know him. I don't want to marry him after only known him for about 4 months. I don't have any desire to sleep with him either. Every time we are together it starts an argument cause if we just kiss he has an erection sorry for being graphic but that's what the problem is. He has lost control and basically is willing to walk away because he can't deal. I could understand if I made him wait a couple of years but no this is just 4 months what is the problem. I will never understand men. I honestly do care for him and don't want to lose him but I don't want to lose myself either.


When a man doesn't show restraint before marriage, he isn't going to be able to show much restraint on many things after marriage.

Galatians 5:22-23
_*"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."*_

God says this to us:

*YES-NO-WAIT*

He either will give us what we desire, say no to it or tells us to wait.  I believe the Lord has given you a way out here and He is telling you NO.  He know your future...you can't see it, but He does and He doesn't want you to experience that because it will affect His plans for your life.

Listen to Him..._*"Weeping may endure for the night...but, JOY comes in the morning!"*_

God bless you.  I believe you will make the right decision and when you purpose it in your heart, the Father will remove the desire to be with that person...and remove the hurt.  Remember...you shouldn't be 'finding a man' wait for God to bring him to you!!!


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## Kinkyhairlady (Aug 9, 2013)

Nice & Wavy said:


> Yes, yes....and YES!!!
> 
> When a man doesn't show restraint before marriage, he isn't going to be able to show much restraint on many things after marriage.
> 
> ...



Ladies thanks for all the great advice. I've decided to walk away from the relationship. Well actually he made that decision and the next came crawling back apologizing and saying he can't be without me and will wait. Hmmm again? Well you said that before and when I wanted to leave you would not let me. Since I know I cannot sleep with you then it's best we just be friends. He's still acting like we're together asking when we gonna double date with his cousin and wife. Smh. I really like him despite this whole thing and it breaks my heart to walk away but I know by doing so I will allow God to work in my life. If this guy is who God chose well he needs to grow spiritually and maybe at that point we can work things out but for now we are not on the same page when it comes to Gods word.

Update: this literally just happened. He text me saying he found a ring and really needs to sit and talk. He does not want to lose me over his foolishness. Lol

I'm still walking away! Haven't known long enough to marry you. No bueno!


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## Nice & Wavy (Aug 9, 2013)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> Ladies thanks for all the great advice. I've decided to walk away from the relationship. Well actually he made that decision and the next came crawling back apologizing and saying he can't be without me and will wait. Hmmm again? Well you said that before and when I wanted to leave you would not let me. Since I know I cannot sleep with you then it's best we just be friends. He's still acting like we're together asking when we gonna double date with his cousin and wife. Smh. I really like him despite this whole thing and it breaks my heart to walk away but I know by doing so I will allow God to work in my life. If this guy is who God chose well he needs to grow spiritually and maybe at that point we can work things out but for now we are not on the same page when it comes to Gods word.


I'm proud of you and the decision that you made.  Trust God...trust Him with every ounce of your being.  He is going to bring the right man into your life....I know..it happened to me


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## Successfulmiss (Aug 9, 2013)

I am so happy for you and if my testimony of how God moved the Ishmael and brought me the promise blessed you enough that the Holy Spirit witnessed to you to walk away then my pain was not in vain! It's just not worth it and i cant say that enough! I am a miracle standing! And while I am not perfect, God let me have the last laugh when that fool kept chasing me once a real man (my true husband) got right completely with God then asked for my hand even after the fraud tried to keep me but wouldn't marry me! I'm so happy for you and this shows me you are ready for a true marriage where God is first! I have never been happier since giving every area of my life totally to His will! I wake up everyday with passion and purpose because I know I am in right standing and 100% sold out to Him! No better feeling in the earthly realm LOL!


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## FlyyBohemian (Aug 10, 2013)

Successfulmiss said:


> I am so happy for you and if my testimony of how God moved the Ishmael and brought me the promise blessed you enough that the Holy Spirit witnessed to you to walk away then my pain was not in vain! It's just not worth it and i cant say that enough! I am a miracle standing! And while I am not perfect, God let me have the last laugh when that fool kept chasing me once a real man (my true husband) got right completely with God then asked for my hand even after the fraud tried to keep me but wouldn't marry me! I'm so happy for you and this shows me you are ready for a true marriage where God is first! I have never been happier since giving every area of my life totally to His will! I wake up everyday with passion and purpose because I know I am in right standing and 100% sold out to Him! No better feeling in the earthly realm LOL!



I have a question to ask you. I'm starting to give non-Christian men a chance. How did your husband end up coming to Christ? How was he led. I've seen and heard of several situations in which the man was an agnostic or non-religious and later became a Christian. Also I find myself sharing a lot of things in common with some men  who are not Christian and I would love that it would be a possibility that they would join the Faith.


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## Successfulmiss (Aug 10, 2013)

I am going to PM you to not derail the thread if this info isnt enough for you. The Bible says to not be unequally yolked(remember King Solomon and how he was taken from God by "women that served strange gods") but it takes much prayer, counseling and deliverance before even considering dating a non Christian and possible marriage. You MUST be led by the spirit of God, totally and completely and there are stories in the bible of godly kings that found their wives before their wives served God that I can't recall right now but there is one story about the harlot that the King picked. The Bible also says the wife sanctifies the husband and vice versa in marriage. Not trying to sound overly spiritual or anything but the Lord gave me my vision of marriage 3-4 years before I married and thats some deep stuff! If my husbands presence and actions in my life not witnessed to my spirit before he served God, I would not have ever known he was my husband because he was not the traditional "church going" man. This is where your foundation in Christ comes first and not faith in the church building. I know some may not agree but my husband and I are going on almost 5 years of a happy marriage now. There are many people that go to church and are not truly following Him. So yes, it took intensive spiritual work before our nuptials and we still get counseling and invest into our marriage which I think every godly couple should do. But if you have any other serious questions pm me because I didn't want you to fall into confusion from too many opinions as I have in the past. I am only speaking from MY experience. I was taunted and humiliated by people in church that Id never be married or successful, that I was crazy & undesirable (jealousy, but thats an entirely different thread smh) Not saying I am perfect but that God had a plan for me and by much sacrifice, obedience and celibacy, God's grace gave me the will to follow through to the end of His vision and now I have a very successful and godly marriage  God is amazing beyond words! **********Hallelujah!!!*********


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## trclemons (Aug 3, 2017)

Hey Ladies!

Just thinking about this thread and decided to check in to let you know I'm still holding on and I'm praying for us all.


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## felic1 (Nov 26, 2017)

Bumping


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## felic1 (Dec 26, 2017)

Met someone new. What a struggle.


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## trclemons (Dec 27, 2017)

felic1 said:


> Met someone new. What a struggle.


Try to minimize your alone time with him, stay away from intimate conversations, and find someone to keep you accountable.


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## beingofserenity (Dec 27, 2017)

The spirit is willing...the flesh is weak


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## mscurly (Dec 27, 2017)

Prayer really does work. Submit all those feelings to The Lord and ask him for the strength. You cannot withstand temptation by yourself.


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## trclemons (Jun 12, 2018)

Hey Ladies.   Just checking in to see how everyone is doing in their dating and celibate life. 

I'm still not dating and I'm still celibate.  Now that I've graduated, I hope to begin dating soon.


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## PrettyBrownEyes (Jun 18, 2018)

trclemons said:


> Hey Ladies.   Just checking in to see how everyone is doing in their dating and celibate life.
> 
> I'm still not dating and I'm still celibate.  Now that I've graduated, I hope to begin dating soon.



It's a hard road.


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