# Lust



## LoveisYou (Apr 13, 2011)

It seems like sex/sexual innuendos is so much apart of our culture - music, television, ads, etc. Everywhere you look, it's there.  As naturally sexual beings, how do you handle lust in your everyday lives?   Even if you are not partaking in lustful acts, how do you guard your mind? Do you find it to be a struggle? is it something you once struggled with but overcame?

would love to hear what you ladies have to say


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## Aviah (Apr 13, 2011)

Its a very difficult thing for me. I struggle with it a lot. Still trying to overcome it. I would guess limiting the amount of sexual "input" you get in a day- music,  some TV shows, certain company, etc would help.


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## maxineshaw (Apr 14, 2011)

LoveisYou said:


> It seems like sex/sexual innuendos is so much apart of our culture - music, television, ads, etc. Everywhere you look, it's there. As naturally sexual beings, how do you handle lust in your everyday lives? Even if you are not partaking in lustful acts, how do you guard your mind? Do you find it to be a struggle? is it something you once struggled with but overcame?
> 
> would love to hear what you ladies have to say


 
Lust is probably the biggest struggle of mine. What's so funny about that is I have never ever engaged in any sexual activity in any way shape or form. However, that doesn't stop me from thinking about it...a lot. 

The easiest way to guard your mind is to keep it focused on God. Actually developing a relationship with God (He just makes things *so* simple) will keep you out of a whole lot of sin-I cannot stress that enough. I agree with @Aviah about limiting the amount of sexual imput. 

I have changed my selection of tv programs I enjoy watching. I now limit myself to watching cooking shows, educational programs, and Korean Dramas.  Removing myself from a lot of the junk I used to watch made me realise I wasn't missing a thing.  Not. A. Thing.

Talk radio is a Godsend, especially Moody radio-my Mom got me hooked on that. It's really all about where you put your focus.


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## LoveisYou (Apr 14, 2011)

Ladies, I am struggling big time too .  I am praying and reading His word, I feel so much guilt for some of my thoughts.


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## Prudent1 (Apr 14, 2011)

ITA w/ the above posts. Yeah, it's a struggle cause I'm saved but not dead. It does not help that like most men I am very visual- VERY. So, like Aviah said I _cannot_ listen to certain lyrics or watch certain movies. Any porn is a huge no no for me. I start to get ungodly ideas and inspiration. I _have_ to keep other things in my mind or else it would be very easy for me to ver18: simply b/c I can.

James 1:14-15 says
14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their _own evil __desire_ and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to *death*. 

I have lived long enough to see this passage fulfilled in _my_ lifeerplexed and in the lives of those around me. Es muy verdad. Whatever the lust (be it sexual in nature or not) death _is_ the end result. It can be spiritual, the death of dreams, of hope, financial, of children both born and pre-born, of innocent bystanders, the entire gamut. Finally if unrepentant, the soul and eternal- death. All can be traced back to thoughts in the mind allowed to have free reign later turned into actions. Oh how we break the Lord's heart! He wants to spare us needless pain.


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## LucieLoo12 (Apr 14, 2011)

I used to battle with lust so bad. I believe that people can sometimes be stuck in a situation for slow long, they no longer look for ways to be free, but tend to deal with it. People underestimate the power of prayer. They dont believe that God can bring them freedom. Do we think that Jesus Christ hung on a cross so we would just have to 'deal' with lust, anger, drugs, depression etc.NO! But He said that He came to give us life more abundantly. But He also said I am the way , the truth and the life. True delieverance from anything comes by complete devotion and alleigance to God. You dont get delieverance from something by going to church one time a week, or going to conference every now and then, but you get delieverance by tarrying with God in prayer, reading His word,and through obedience. When I battled with lust for so long, I got tired of it, I wanted to be free. You have to get to the point that you are tired of it. I begin to examine what it was I doing to feed this lust. Because if you starve anything for longs period of time, it will die. I begin to cut the TV off, cast down wicked imaginations, surrond myself with like-minded people.I have been saved amlost 4 years and havent dated a man since.Thoughts may arise and feelins may arise , but I cast them down and throw myself into prayer, because I want to be clean in God's eyesight. I dont want to be just another "church goer",but I want a pure heart.God is a keeper, He will keep you, but you have to want to be kept. The bible says Resist the devil and he will flee. You have to do something, you to have resist.


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## LoveisYou (Apr 14, 2011)

Alicialynn86 said:


> I used to battle with lust so bad. I believe that people can sometimes be stuck in a situation for slow long, they no longer look for ways to be free, but tend to deal with it. People underestimate the power of prayer. They dont believe that God can bring them freedom. Do we think that Jesus Christ hung on a cross so we would just have to 'deal' with lust, anger, drugs, depression etc.NO! But He said that He came to give us life more abundantly. But He also said I am the way , the truth and the life. True delieverance from anything comes by complete devotion and alleigance to God. You dont get delieverance from something by going to church one time a week, or going to conference every now and then, but you get delieverance by tarrying with God in prayer, reading His word,and through obedience. When I battled with lust for so long, I got tired of it, I wanted to be free. You have to get to the point that you are tired of it. I begin to examine what it was I doing to feed this lust. Because if you starve anything for longs period of time, it will die. I begin to cut the TV off, cast down wicked imaginations, surrond myself with like-minded people.I have been saved amlost 4 years and havent dated a man since.Thoughts may arise and feelins may arise , but I cast them down and throw myself into prayer, because I want to be clean in God's eyesight. I* dont want to be just another "church goer",but I want a pure heart.God is a keeper, He will keep you, but you have to want to be kept. The bible says Resist the devil and he will flee. You have to do something, you to have resist.*



I think it's safe to say a lot of women in this thread desires the same - an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, thanks for sharing how you were able to overcome.


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## softblackcotton (Apr 14, 2011)

I used to think about sex all the time. ALL the time, because I never had it and I was curious. But lately I have stopped. Because I have delved into the God's Word so much so that my mind is constantly thinking about God. Pondering. Wondering about Him. Delve deeper into His Word and PRAY incessantly. At first, I found that even when I stopped actively thinking about sex, my subsconscious mind dreamt up the most vivid and insane sexual dreams for a little while.  I mean the stuff actually scared me out of my sleep! That's when I finally understood what The Bible meant when it said the heart is inherently evil. Matthew 15:19:" For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." You have to constantly be on guard for your own evil-inclined flesh. Stay away from evil and even the very appearance of evil. Don't give you flesh anything evil to feed off of. Instead build the Spirit inside of you, so that it will become more powerful than the flesh through studying the Bible and constant prayer.

It also helped me when I stopped pumping so much R-n-b with explicit lyrics into my head. I almost cleaned out my entire ipod filled with mostly "slow jams" aka "baby-making music" My mind was a consistent whore when I listened to that music day in and day out. Even though I listened passively, it still affected thoughts. Try to stay away from media with sexual content (that's like 99% of the stuff out there), so it won't conjur up unwanted thoughts. I was doing so well, until I was tempted to click on the "I'm calling you out mech..." thread in the Offtopic forum. I had to PRAY about that.


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## LoveisYou (Apr 14, 2011)

softblackcotton said:


> I used to think about sex all the time. ALL the time, because I never had it and I was curious. But lately I have stopped. Because I have delved into the God's Word so much so that my mind is constantly thinking about God. Pondering. Wondering about Him. Delve deeper into His Word and PRAY incessantly. At first, I found that even when I stopped actively thinking about sex, my subsconscious mind dreamt up the most vivid and insane sexual dreams for a little while.  I mean the stuff actually scared me out of my sleep! That's when I finally understood what The Bible meant when it said the heart is inherently evil. Matthew 15:19:" For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." You have to constantly be on guard for your own evil-inclined flesh. Stay away from evil and even the very appearance of evil. Don't give you flesh anything evil to feed off of. Instead build the Spirit inside of you, so that it will become more powerful than the flesh through studying the Bible and constant prayer.
> 
> It also helped me when I stopped pumping so much R-n-b with explicit lyrics into my head. I almost cleaned out my entire ipod filled with mostly "slow jams" aka "baby-making music" My mind was a consistent whore when I listened to that music day in and day out. Even though I listened passively, it still affected thoughts. Try to stay away from media with sexual content (that's like 99% of the stuff out there), so it won't conjur up unwanted thoughts. I was doing so well, until I was tempted to click on the "I'm calling you out mech..." thread in the Offtopic forum. I had to PRAY about that.



Thanks just switched the TV to TBN.


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## precious2Him (Apr 16, 2011)

I am struggling with this as well. I am 23 years old, single, and a virgin - but trust and believe the struggle is great. Some time I just want to throw in the towel but God has been more then good to me to do that plus I have seen what giving in to lust can do by way of a few of my friends. I think that the struggle gets greater when I'm not totally in the face of God via prayer, reading the Word, and fasting. We have to cucifiy this flesh (b/c is it hostile toward the things of God) and feed into our spirits (HELP ME LORD to do those things). Totally agree with you Alicialynn86 in that God will keep you if you want to be kept and I want to be kept. My 1st Lady at church is always encouraging the singles to hold on and wait on God for our mates - Lord knows I'm trying...lol.

I gave up all secular music when I got saved a few years back - every now and then I may hear a rihanna, trey songz, or chris brown song and that thoughts get to rollin - all the music now seems to be SO perverse it makes no sense......so my ipod and car radio is only set to gospel stations. I try to stay clear of movies/tv shows with sexual acts - cause that does not help when you trying to keep a pure mind...lol....also I have learned I have to stay out of the LHCF relationship forum....lol.....the devil is tricky and if it was up to him we all would fall and be taken out of the race but THANK GOD for JESUS and that in Him we have the VICTORY to overcome every temptation and struggle - we don't have to give in to the flesh or lust or perverse thoughts. So I pray that God helps us and keeps all of us that want to be kept.


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## Jenibo (Apr 16, 2011)

precious2Him said:


> I am struggling with this as well. I am 23 years old, single, and a virgin - but trust and believe the struggle is great. Some time I just want to throw in the towel but God has been more then good to me to do that plus I have seen what giving in to lust can do by way of a few of my friends. I think that the struggle gets greater when I'm not totally in the face of God via prayer, reading the Word, and fasting. We have to cucifiy this flesh (b/c is it hostile toward the things of God) and feed into our spirits (HELP ME LORD to do those things). Totally agree with you Alicialynn86 in that God will keep you if you want to be kept and I want to be kept. My 1st Lady at church is always encouraging the singles to hold on and wait on God for our mates - Lord knows I'm trying...lol.
> 
> I gave up all secular music when I got saved a few years back - every now and then I may hear a rihanna, trey songz, or chris brown song and that thoughts get to rollin - all the music now seems to be SO perverse it makes no sense......so my ipod and car radio is only set to gospel stations. I try to stay clear of movies/tv shows with sexual acts - cause that does not help when you trying to keep a pure mind...lol....also I have learned I have to stay out of the LHCF relationship forum....lol.....the devil is tricky and if it was up to him we all would fall and be taken out of the race but THANK GOD for JESUS and that in Him we have the VICTORY to overcome every temptation and struggle - we don't have to give in to the flesh or lust or perverse thoughts. So I pray that God helps us and keeps all of us that want to be kept.


I could've written this . I am praying for God to transform my thoughts.  I had to repent because I prided myself on being physically pure, but mentally I was, well ...NOT! I was dating this guy and telling him how I was waiting for marriage, and then would turn around and send tell dirty jokes and engage in lustful conversation . We were both confused- my thoughts were manifesting to my behaviours! This is a struggle for me but with prayer and guarding my thoughts I know I can overcome.


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## blazingthru (Apr 17, 2011)

yes, I have to chime in as well this is a deep struggle for me, mostly thoughts. I can think out an entire story line. With all the details settings all of it. So I have to give it over to God every time the thoughts overtake my mind. Its not easy, I would never say it is. its very difficult. I have to memorize some scriptures and repeat them again and again sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't I have to find something to occupy my mind and then I have to pray. At those times I don't want to pray, I feel ashamed because for real all I want to do is finish out the story in my mind and I can't. so Yes this is a true top of the chart struggle. I have been celibate for 7 years. It aint been a party.. So yes I agree the lord says there is nothing impossible with him and I know this sin is hard to get over but it keeps me praying to God about so I don't think for me its going anywhere, but its no where near as bad as it use to be. I can go a long time without thinking about it. Weeks.. So amen God is working in my life, I don't let it overtake me.


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## tyrablu (Apr 18, 2011)

I could have written almost every one of these posts. This is a daily struggle for me since I made the decision to turn a new chapter in my life. It is hard. I was (and still struggle with this) a person who would read, watch, and listen to almost everything. The smuttier the better. That along with my overactive imagination made me constantly think lustful thoughts. 

I have realized along with the other posters that I seriously have to be vigilant about what I watch, listen, and read. It is extremely hard coming from someone that never thought twice about what she read, listened to, or watched. And my thoughts are even more overactive since making the decision to be celibate. 

 Limiting my exposure to certain things and trying to make that conscience decision to keep my thoughts pure are certainly helping but it isn't enough in my case. I pray constantly for God to help me in this area. And trust that the devil is not making it easy, but I know that ultimately my God will win this one.


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## LoveisYou (Apr 18, 2011)

tyrablu said:


> I could have written almost every one of these posts. This is a daily struggle for me since I made the decision to turn a new chapter in my life. It is hard. I was (and still struggle with this) a person who would read, watch, and listen to almost everything. The smuttier the better. That along with my overactive imagination made me constantly think lustful thoughts.
> 
> I have realized along with the other posters that I seriously have to be vigilant about what I watch, listen, and read. It is extremely hard coming from someone that never thought twice about what she read, listened to, or watched. *And my thoughts are even more overactive since making the decision to be celibate*.
> 
> Limiting my exposure to certain things and trying to make that conscience decision to keep my thoughts pure are certainly helping but it isn't enough in my case. I pray constantly for God to help me in this area. And trust that the devil is not making it easy, but I know that ultimately my God will win this one.



>>>>right here<<<<<<<


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## nubiennze (May 10, 2011)

The bolded is the case for all sin. This post really rang true for me and touched my heart. Thanks, Alicialynn86.



Alicialynn86 said:


> I used to battle with lust so bad. I believe that people can sometimes be stuck in a situation for slow long, they no longer look for ways to be free, but tend to deal with it. People underestimate the power of prayer. They dont believe that God can bring them freedom. Do we think that Jesus Christ hung on a cross so we would just have to 'deal' with lust, anger, drugs, depression etc.NO! But He said that He came to give us life more abundantly. But He also said I am the way , the truth and the life. True delieverance from anything comes by complete devotion and alleigance to God. You dont get delieverance from something by going to church one time a week, or going to conference every now and then, but you get delieverance by tarrying with God in prayer, reading His word,and through obedience. When I battled with lust for so long, I got tired of it, I wanted to be free. *You have to get to the point that you are tired of it.* I begin to examine what it was I doing to feed this lust. Because if you starve anything for longs period of time, it will die. I begin to cut the TV off, cast down wicked imaginations, surrond myself with like-minded people.I have been saved amlost 4 years and havent dated a man since.Thoughts may arise and feelins may arise , but I cast them down and throw myself into prayer, because I want to be clean in God's eyesight. I dont want to be just another "church goer",but I want a pure heart.God is a keeper, He will keep you, but you have to want to be kept. The bible says Resist the devil and he will flee. You have to do something, you to have resist.



I've been saved and celibate for close to seven years and haven't dated in that time either. In my case, it was actually easier (as in, requiring less intentional effort) when I first submitted to the Lord out of helplessness, desperation, and a sin-sick soul. As of late I've become increasingly impatient with being single, especially in light of many man- and marriage-focused conversations here and elsewhere (generally from a secular perspective, of course, as I mentioned in a blog a while back). Even topics that don't specifically incite lust abet faithlessness and a lack of trust in God's ability to, in His timing and according to His perfect will, provide a mate (and all other needs--physical notwithstanding--for that matter). Focusing on the state of the black community or the idea that all (black) men are no good or that waiting on God for a man is old-fashioned and ineffective and that today's woman must compete and pursue (usually by appealing to lust of the eye and/or flesh) is worldly thinking; once upon a time, I knew this with unmovable conviction.

For this and other reasons I've taken several LHCF hiatuses and overall technological fasts (Facebook account is still deactivated, and Youtube has all but fallen by the wayside; both used to be daily, hours-long indulgences, so I praise God for that), but I somehow always seem to end up back here, usually under the guise of "Oh, I'll just visit the hair, Christian, and health & fitness forums...OT & ET are off limits." Then I'll load up iSpy and click whatever catches the eye.  It may be time to just let my subscription run out so that those forums are all I _can_ access. 

At any rate, I digress. This thread has been refreshingly convicting and incited a lot of much needed and, until now, oft-avoided introspection. I can remember when I used to welcome and thank God for chastisement. When I used to pray for God to show me me and rejoice in that prayer being answered; the opportunity to slay the flesh; and the attainment of even more closeness to Him. Before now I hadn't felt that way in quite some time. (I related to the poster who mentioned not feeling like praying once you've succumbed to lust, even when you're convicted in it.)

The _only_ thing that can keep us away from God is sin. I'd been acknowledging the distance, yet maintaining that I wasn't doing anything wrong. At first, I wasn't "doing" anything--not blatantly backsliding, but not growing in Christ either. I'm now reminded that my do-nothing slothfulness was and _is_ a sin, as is pride (i.e. becoming convinced that I'm not sinning because others are doing much worse ), gossip (thanks to links and discussions in ET/OT, among other things), and of course, lust--the "big ticket" infraction of which I gradually became accepting once I adopted the mentality that I was alright not actively seeking and growing in God's grace.

It's not supposed to be as easy as it was when I was a "baby saint." (I'm studying I Corinthians and Hebrews once I post this.) I'm supposed to encounter--and overcome--increasingly difficult challenges as a means to becoming more edified and, in turn, more Christ-like. This is why high-mindedness is so detrimental to the walk with Christ; a mentality that you already have it all at any given point only breeds laziness, stagnation, and, at worst, hard-heartedness and a deaf ear toward God.

Sorry for semi-hijacking, but I'm inclined to publicly thank Him for you all and everything that's been said here.


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## nubiennze (May 10, 2011)

I was debating mentioning this in my first post, but since I'm rediscovering how cathartic confession can be, I actually found this thread searching for that very thread ("I'm calling out mech..."). I read the OP, scanned the thread to see why it came up in the search, and encountered softblackcotton's post. I promptly closed the other window.

Y'all pray for me, please...



softblackcotton said:


> I used to think about sex all the time. ALL the time, because I never had it and I was curious. But lately I have stopped. Because I have delved into the God's Word so much so that my mind is constantly thinking about God. Pondering. Wondering about Him. Delve deeper into His Word and PRAY incessantly. At first, I found that even when I stopped actively thinking about sex, my subsconscious mind dreamt up the most vivid and insane sexual dreams for a little while.  I mean the stuff actually scared me out of my sleep! That's when I finally understood what The Bible meant when it said the heart is inherently evil. Matthew 15:19:" For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." You have to constantly be on guard for your own evil-inclined flesh. Stay away from evil and even the very appearance of evil. Don't give you flesh anything evil to feed off of. Instead build the Spirit inside of you, so that it will become more powerful than the flesh through studying the Bible and constant prayer.
> 
> It also helped me when I stopped pumping so much R-n-b with explicit lyrics into my head. I almost cleaned out my entire ipod filled with mostly "slow jams" aka "baby-making music" My mind was a consistent whore when I listened to that music day in and day out. Even though I listened passively, it still affected thoughts. Try to stay away from media with sexual content (that's like 99% of the stuff out there), so it won't conjur up unwanted thoughts. *I was doing so well, until I was tempted to click on the "I'm calling you out mech..." thread in the Offtopic forum. I had to PRAY about that. *


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## Poohbear (May 10, 2011)

I don't have a big problem with lust like alot of people.  I can find a man attractive but not have sexual thoughts about him. I also don't go crazy over seeing naked men. The only time I lust is for my boyfriend (which is still wrong).


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## hair_rehab (May 10, 2011)

Thank you ladies for being so honest. I have to agree with almost every post I've read so far, especially about having an overactive imagination and using too much technology. No more making excuses like I used to do, I'm ready to fight back with prayer, worship, fasting, studying the Word, whatever it takes.


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## JinaRicci (May 10, 2011)

Thank you Ladies!  Your posts are very encouraging.  I struggle with this even with censoring what I watch which was a big part of it but I've realized that my problem is mostly what I read.  I get sucked into a good love story & that's my downfall but I'm going to keep fighting.


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## precious2Him (May 11, 2011)

I'm so glad to see this post revived ........ I so need the encouragement to keep holding on and the input from you ladies helps a lot..... I know I'm not alone in this fight


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## Bellamystic (May 11, 2011)

Honestly I don't lust. I can find someone attractive without wanting to sleep with them. For some reason lust is my biggest problem though. It seems that every man I meet is a lust bunny. They have to want to have sex every woman they find attractive. I find this very immature and nasty. With AIDS and other diseases on the rise I would think society would stop with all this mess. I find it disgusting and degrading for any man or women especially if they are in a relationship.


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## plainj (May 11, 2011)

Alicialynn86 said:


> I used to battle with lust so bad. I believe that people can sometimes be stuck in a situation for slow long, they no longer look for ways to be free, but tend to deal with it. People underestimate the power of prayer. They dont believe that God can bring them freedom. Do we think that Jesus Christ hung on a cross so we would just have to 'deal' with lust, anger, drugs, depression etc.NO! But He said that He came to give us life more abundantly. But He also said I am the way , the truth and the life. *True delieverance from anything comes by complete devotion and alleigance to God.* You dont get delieverance from something by going to church one time a week, or going to conference every now and then, but you get delieverance by tarrying with God in prayer, reading His word,and through obedience. When I battled with lust for so long, I got tired of it, I wanted to be free. You have to get to the point that you are tired of it. *I begin to examine what it was I doing to feed this lust*. Because if you starve anything for longs period of time, it will die. *I begin to cut the TV off, cast down wicked imaginations, surrond myself with like-minded people*.I have been saved amlost 4 years and havent dated a man since.Thoughts may arise and feelins may arise , but I cast them down and throw myself into prayer, because *I want to be clean in God's eyesight. I dont want to be just another "church goer",but I want a pure heart.*God is a keeper, He will keep you, but you have to want to be kept. The bible says Resist the devil and he will flee. You have to do something, you to have resist.


I just needed to say AMEN!!! Especially to the bolded. Great post. I agree.


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## loulou7 (May 13, 2011)

Satan will definitely use lust as a weapon to throw you off your Christian journey. You have the ask the Lord to help you to fight back and do your part by being discriminating with your choices of music, TV shows, clothing, etc...

It's a battle y'all, we aren't fighting against flesh and blood. But all praises to G-d, we can be victorious through His power and what He did for us on Calvary!


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