# Abstinence Challenge 365, 24-7



## sugaplum

*[size=+1]“Challenge for Christian Single Ladies”*[/size]

This challenge is to encourage my sisters to stay celibate & live for God.  I feel that we as Christian women, we should respect our bodies and hold it sacred.  Sex is a special gift that _should_ be shared in marriage and it _should not_ be dragged in the mud (like pornagraphy, videos, etc.).  The Christian is called to live a life of unselfish love.  Abstinence should always seek to glorify God and buildup fellow believers in the faith.

The Rules are:

1) No late night dates when initially meeting someone-especially if you are not a strong christian yet. No clubbing and no living together.

*1 Thessalonians 5:22-23* - Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2) No type of sexual contact (having sex, impure thoughts, oral sex, masturbation, etc.) and no sexual immorality.

*Colossians 3:5* - Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 

*Ephesians 5:5* - Be sure of this, that no fornicator or impure man, or one who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 

The Apostle Paul was never married.  He followed Christ and used God’s teachings.  Apostle Paul said, “The Believers body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and should not be polluted by unclean things.”

*1 Corinthians 6 19-20* - Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Paul also exhorted the church of Thessalonians to *“abstain from sexual immorality.”*

*1 Thessalonians 4:3*-For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from fornication;

*Holy Spirit Check*---Also your Holy Spirit will let you know when you are not doing God's Will. 

FINAL NOTE-The only reason for breaking this challenge----
[size=+2]*IS IF YOU GET MARRIED!!*[/size]

*Genesis 2:23-24* - Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.

I will pray for all of you that this challenge will make you stronger in your faith, closer to God, following Jesus's path, and I rebuke anyone and anything that will try and stop you from getting the Prize. 

God Bless you ladies.


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## Poohbear

You know I'm already in this challenge!  God intends sex ONLY for marriage. I can't wait until I get married!


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## sithembile

This is great, count me in! I've been celibate for over 1 year now, though I still struggle in my mind a lot, but I'm wholeheartedly trying to honour God with my body and mind! I haven't dated yet since becoming a Christian, but I hope to follow those guidelines when I do!


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## sugaplum

Alright Poohbear & sithembile.  What a blessing. 

That is wonderfull and I admire your strength and your steadfast will to serve God.


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## JuJuBoo

sugaplum said:
			
		

> *[size=+1]“Challenge for Christian Single Ladies”*[/size]
> FINAL NOTE-The only reason for breaking this challenge----
> [size=+2]*IS IF YOU GET MARRIED!!*[/size]
> 
> God Bless you ladies.




 That part had me rollin! hahahaha!


Yall know I'm in.  Shoot. I'm already a virgin. What's another 2, 3, 8 .........10...............20 years........................................



sigh........the Lord needs to bring my husband QUICK!


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## LondonDiva

JuJuBoo said:
			
		

> sigh........the Lord needs to bring my husband QUICK!


 
   You know what I'm saying.  Girl just be patient.  You will be blessed tenfold when the lord does finally bring you together.  It was 2 years for me January just gone.


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## Carlie

*Got your note Sugaplum.   You know I'm in. *


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## Poohbear

I'm a virgin as well but I've engaged in sexual thoughts,nakedness, and touching before. At the start of this year, my long-term boyfriend and I stopped all that MESS! We thank the Lord each day for delivering us.  We hardly even kiss anymore!


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## dontspeakdefeat

I will be praying for you ladies!  Stay strong.


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## Koffie

I'm in...... I just wish I was a virgin.... *****sighs and exits thread******


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## JuJuBoo

Koffie said:
			
		

> I'm in...... I just wish I was a virgin.... *****sighs and exits thread******




*GIRL!* U betta gettcha booty back in here!

Trust me, those of us that are virgins are probably holdin on by a thread! ....at least I am.........



going to pray now.


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## MomofThreeBoys

I'm married but just wanted to give a word of encouragement to you ladies!!!  Hold fast to the promises of God and he will not just meet your needs but exceed your expectations! You are all in my prayers!

Be blessed!


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## Koffie

JuJuBoo said:
			
		

> *GIRL!* U betta gettcha booty back in here!



I'm back, What's up?


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## JuJuBoo

Koffie said:
			
		

> I'm back, What's up?




haha, I edited my post above!


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## MomofThreeBoys

Koffie said:
			
		

> I'm in...... I just wish I was a virgin.... *****sighs and exits thread******




2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a  new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are  become new.


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## Poohbear

natalied said:
			
		

> 2 Corinthians 5:17
> Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.


I was about to post this scripture for Koffie!    So Koffie, if you repent and turn away from sexual sin, you will be a virgin in God's eyes.


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## Koffie

natalied said:
			
		

> 2 Corinthians 5:17
> Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a  new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are  become new.


Here's a stupid question, but here it goes:

Soooo, am I a virgin?


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## Koffie

I saw Pooh's post.


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## MomofThreeBoys

Koffie said:
			
		

> Here's a stupid question, but here it goes:
> 
> Soooo, am I a virgin?



In the eyes of the world no, but....

I'm not God but he does say 

Psalm 103:12
As far as the east  is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

I John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just  and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness

Jeremiah 31:34
For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.


 Is God able to restore us?  Yes!


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## sugaplum

Thank you natalied for your words of encouragement. 

Koffie, I'm not a virgin either, so I'm learning something new here myself.  Thanks Poohbear. 

Koffie, I started this challenge becuase I've turned my life completly around and want to follow God's Will.  I'm waiting for "the one" that God will send to me.  IMHO, all these other men that are not who God sent for me, can take a back seat.  

Since I've made this change I feel like I am a new creature.  I am no longer a slave from my past instead I use the past as a stepping stone.

God Bless you and thnak you for joining DSD, LondonDiva, & JuuJuu Boo

HEEEEYYYYY CCCAAARRRRLLLIIIEEE GIIIRRRRLL


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## Poohbear

Here is a message that may help... taken from Pray4Freedom's blackplanet page:

?Why is sex (before marriage) so bad when it feels so good?


Well there are obvious reasons such as:
1. Diseases, there are some you can get rid of and some that you can`t such as HIV which later turns into AIDS...you get this one, you know your gonna die. (In the U.S., 1 in 4 sexually active teens become infected with an STD every year {that`s a lot}. Some common STDs are chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital warts (also known as HPV - human papillomavirus), and herpes)
2. Teen pregnancy or adult UNPLANNED pregnancy.
3. Guilt
4. Loss of respect

But the number one reason to consider NOT doing it is because God says not to. 

1Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know your body is a temple of the holy spirit, who is in you, whom you received from God? You are not your own; you were brought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.(NIV)


Easier said than done huh?

Well, anything is possible when you have God on your side! Even stopping yourself from having sex again until marriage.


****For YOUNG Girls****

YOU DON`T HAVE TO DO IT! You don`t have to have sex with a boy to make him like you. You don`t have to have sex because he pressures you. You have so much power do you realize that? We as women have power!!

If he decides to leave when you tell him no, let him go. More than likely a little boy doesn`t care that much about you anyway. He cares about himself. He will say he loves you, wants to marry you, he will die for you blah blah BLAH! All lies. 

Remember GOD loves you and wants you to be happy! I`ll be frank with you, a lot of young boys are out to see how much sex they can get. They will use you and throw you away like Monday`s garbage. 
WATCH OUT!


****For OLDER Women****

Sad to say but some grown men do the same. My momma always told me that a man will only do as much to you as you let him. I know that to be true. But I had to learn the hard way. 
****Lastly Please Don`t Strive To Be A Video Girl! ****
Your Better Than That!





STOP!

Stop being simple minded
Stop being desperate
Stop being pitiful
Stop being naive
Stop letting him do you like that!!




START!

Start living for God
Start making better decisions
Start being happy
Start loving yourself
Start over TODAY!!



(Sex is supposed to be enjoyable but between a husband and wife, I don`t want to disappoint God again in that way)




1. Tell yourself daily that you are beautiful
2. Tell yourself daily you are smart
3. When negative thoughts come around it`s okay to tell them to go away
4. Talk back to the devil when he tries to take your joy

ABOVE ALL, TALK TO GOD!! Talk to him like he`s sitting beside you. God is your friend, remember that. And he hears you even when you don`t think he does.


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## sugaplum

Poohbear said:
			
		

> ABOVE ALL, TALK TO GOD!! Talk to him like he`s sitting beside you. God is your friend, remember that. And he hears you even when you don`t think he does.



Thank you for sharing all this info Poohbear.  

I espcially agreed with this qoute here becuase no matter what it is I'm doing (chillin' at home, talking to someone, at work, eating, etc), I pretend that Jesus is right with me.  If I'm eating, He's right at the table with me, when I'm watching TV on the couch, he's right with me.  I think to myself "Would Jesus watch this Tv show," or "Would Jesus approve of the music I'm listening too?"

I think this way becuase He is apart of my life.


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## Poohbear

sugaplum said:
			
		

> Thank you for sharing all this info Poohbear.
> 
> I espcially agreed with this qoute here becuase no matter what it is I'm doing (chillin' at home, talking to someone, at work, eating, etc), I pretend that Jesus is right with me. If I'm eating, He's right at the table with me, when I'm watching TV on the couch, he's right with me. I think to myself "Would Jesus watch this Tv show," or "Would Jesus approve of the music I'm listening too?"
> 
> I think this way becuase He is apart of my life.


I also talk as if He is right there beside me in person.  I go through the same thought process as you do sometimes when doing certain things and what He would say about them.

Btw, you don't have to pretend because Jesus really is right there!


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## Cinnabuns

Great post Sugaplum, Hey you know I'm in!
I'm remaining pure until I get married.


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## divine

I hope YALL have fun, and achieve YALL goals.


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## sugaplum

Poohbear said:
			
		

> I also talk as if He is right there beside me in person.  I go through the same thought process as you do sometimes when doing certain things and what He would say about them.
> 
> Btw, you don't have to pretend because Jesus really is right there!


You're right, Poohbear.   I will keep this in mindset. 

Hey Cinna, welcome to the challenge & God Bless You. 

Thank you divine for your support.


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## phynestone

This is so wonderful! I'm glad someone started this. I'd also like to be counted in this challenge.


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## pebbles

Wonderful thread!! Y'all know I'm in! LOL! Be blessed, ladies!


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## BlkHoneyLuv2U

Yea!!! I'm the winner LOL been manless, sexless for over five years now. I can do it, you can do it, WE CAN DO IT. Ahhh  not do it that is.   Just remember God will keep those who want to be kept.


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## tuffCOOKiE

I know that I will never be worthy for God. Ever.  It's a little disempowering.  I lost my virginity to a guy i thought i was in love with when i was 17/18.  Sometimes i regret it because my walk with God has not been the same.  The guilt kills me.  Not because I think sex is bad, but because it was like letting my father down.  Like i disappointed a friend.  And that is exactly what I did.  I feel even after i ended it, i still feel lost.  We'll see..


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## tuffCOOKiE

Hopefully this didnt post twice.  

I know that I will never be worthy for God. Ever. It's a little disempowering.  I lost my virginity to a guy that I thought I was in love with and since then my walk w God has not been the same.  Not because i think that sex is bad, but because I feel that I let someone I really care about down.  It's like having a father that told you not to do something and he caught you doing it.  You feel stupid and ashamed and guilty.  I ended it but the guilt is still there.  I want to work for a better relationshop.  We'll see...


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## Starian

I agree with the above comment. I've done too much to ever be worthy of God. If I believed in hell, in a fire and brimstone sense, I'm sure I'd have a special place.


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## Poohbear

tuffCOOKiE and Starian... you do not have to think that way!!!

Satan wants you to think that you are unworthy and will put guilt and shame in your minds!!!  Don't give Satan that power!!!

Look to Jesus! The Holy Spirit will comfort you once you repent.  It doesn't matter how many times, how many guys, you can immediately stop and do it no more until you are married and you will feel much better about yourself!

God forgives and forgets sin.  I know we are human and it's hard to forgive ourselves or forget our sin.  You may not be a virgin to the world but you would be a virgin to God once you have let go of sexual sin.

I hope that helps! God bless you!!!


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## carribslc

I want in!  I'm a 19 almost 20 yr old virgin but it gets harder and harder as the years go by.  I know I can't be like Paul, but I know the spirit of God will help me hold on to what I've got right now.
God bless you Sugaplum for starting this challenge.  It came just at the right time!


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## beverly

I love this thread,thanks for starting it sugaplum! We all need encouragement, in the past I have found it hard to abstain and to continue it once I've meet someone that I really like. I am just sorry it took me so long to get to this point  

But that the things that have help me is to not date anyone who does not have the same beliefs that I do. Flesh is weak, don't tempt it, and people will try to get you on there agenda. Before my commitment was more to myself, now its for God, all my wants are secondary. Once my mind was renewed, it actually became easy.

NatalieD I am believing in God to exceed my expectations, in fact, I expect my 100 fold blessing this year !


I like that part about pretending Jesus is right there beside you, that is a good one!

Starian and Tuffcookie you are worthy - those thoughts only come from Satan, Jesus said himself he came so that you might be forgiven of ALL of your sins. He does not remember you past, that is if ask for forgivess AND turn from it. He knows your heart. Even if you fall again, get back up and start over again. Just know you can't walk into your blessing until you get it right, so that should be motivating you as well. All that matters is Jesus opinion, not the worlds. You can not walk into the plan that God has for you, until you let go of your past!


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## Kalani

beverly said:
			
		

> But that the things that have help me is to not date anyone who does not have the same beliefs that I do. Flesh is weak, don't tempt it, and people will try to get you on there agenda. Before my commitment was more to myself, now its for God, all my wants are secondary. Once my mind was renewed, it actually became easy.



Good statement! I've been practicing abstinence for years but in the beginning it was painfully difficult! It took some training and realizing I need to steer clear from certain situations and resist dating a certain amount....okay a large amount   ... of guys. 
I'm to a point now where abstaining is rather effortless compared to how it use to be. The worst thing that can happen at this point is certain thoughts or urges may pop up but they are fairly easy to manage versus an actual guy and situation.

Believe or not there is great satisfaction in abstinence. I don't know what it is but there is such a sense of empowerment! With holding my body from guys is...well, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bit gratifying.    But of course the most wonderful feeling of all is feeling clean and acceptable before God.


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## carribslc

Poohbear said:
			
		

> tuffCOOKiE and Starian... you do not have to think that way!!!
> 
> Satan wants you to think that you are unworthy and will put guilt and shame in your minds!!!  Don't give Satan that power!!!
> 
> Look to Jesus! The Holy Spirit will comfort you once you repent.  It doesn't matter how many times, how many guys, you can immediately stop and do it no more until you are married and you will feel much better about yourself!
> 
> God forgives and forgets sin.  I know we are human and it's hard to forgive ourselves or forget our sin.  You may not be a virgin to the world but you would be a virgin to God once you have let go of sexual sin.
> 
> I hope that helps! God bless you!!!



Poohbear, as always you are full of words of encouragement


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## Ms Red

I'm in!   I have a long-term boyfriend and it is sometimes difficult, but in over 2 1/2 years, he's never pressured me and he respects me. Attending church helps both of us stay connected to the word. I can't lie, I've had sexual thoughts, feelings, touched. . . but I pray for strength because I know that God's been with me this far, and He won't give up on me!

This is a great challenge! BTW, I am 25 and a virgin *sighs* and my boyfriend is 27 and not  a virgin.

Did I mention that it's not easy?   

*cupcake*


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## LDebagoria

I am definitely not a Virgin, but I have no qualms with this. 
I will admit that for a while, sex was clouding my thoughts and better judgement.

But, I am writing because for the first time since I've lost my Virginity, I have been abstinate for almost a year, and I have had a BOYfriend over this period of time! So, I am very proud of myself.

At first, I was annoyed because I wasn't havng sex in this relationship, but as time passed, I realized that I needed this time to just chill! I feel better now that I've had this time, more "cleansed" if you will. One thing I really notice is that my friends are SO concerned whether or not I'm having sex with my b/f, that they'll ask me about my SEX LIFE before they ask me how I've been or how school's going! Seeing their obsession with sex really made me glad that I've had this abstaining time, although I was never sex-obsessed!  

So now I feel better about myself for waiting, and I'll feel more comfortable waiting for longer!


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## divinefavor

I'm in!  I've been abstaining for almost 2 years now (2 years in December)!  I'm patiently waiting for God to send my mate!  Whew, but it gets haaaaaaaard sometimes!  WHERE HE AT LORD, WHERE HE AT??!?!?!?!!!!   Just kidding.

THANK YOU JESUS FOR KEEPING ME! 

I'll be praying for you all and please pray for me!

Starian and Tuffcookie - God has forgiven you, now repent and forgive yourself (if you haven't done it already).  You are worthy of everything that God has planned and purposed for your life.  It's a trick of the devil to make us think that we aren't worthy of God's blessings in order to keep us from the promises of God.  However, there are some things that God will delay from us until we get in order and line up with His will.  I'm the first to tell you that it is not easy, but there is something about having a heart for God, wanting to live wholeheartedly for Him and not wanting to break His heart.  God will keep you and will reward your faithfulness toward him.  Whenever you feel the urge (as I sometimes do) and it becomes unbearable give one of us here a holler or call on friends who you know that living for Christ has become their lifestyle.  Be Blessed!


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## sugaplum

Welcome, 19sweetie, pebbles, ladydee36330, tuffcookie, starian, carribslc, dtachi, LDebagoria, Divinefavor.  

God bless you all for joining ladies. 

Here's a scriptures regarding forgiveness. 

James 5:15 - and the prayer of faith will save the sick man, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.   

 1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  

So you see ladies, no matter what it is that you've done, God will forgive.   He's awesome.  Do you know anyone who will do that for you?   I've made sooo many mistakes in the past, and I even thought that I have not been forgiven by God.  But later to find out, God forgave me, not the the guy (whom I was in love with). 

Psalms 41:9 - Even my bosom friend in whom I trusted, who ate of my bread, has lifted his heel against me. 

I just woke up one Sunday morning, and said "I'm fed up of living my life this way."   I was in the same spot going no where. It was time for a change and living my life the way I wanted to had no happiness and I was still empty. 

Psalms 52:8 - But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast love of God for ever and ever. 

So even when I was out there doing what I wanted to do, He loved me unconditionally.   So the least I can do is return the favor.


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## naptrl

Hey ladies!!  I will pray for you alll!  This is the most wonderful challenge I have ever seen on this site.  It is very honorable and God will bless you.  I'm married, so I won't be joining, but I'm with you in spirit!!!


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## sugaplum

naptrl said:
			
		

> Hey ladies!!  I will pray for you alll!  This is the most wonderful challenge I have ever seen on this site.  It is very honorable and God will bless you.  I'm married, so I won't be joining, but I'm with you in spirit!!!




Awww thank you naptrl for your support, your prayers & your blessings.  
God Bless you,


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## Koffie

Poohbear said:
			
		

> Here is a message that may help... taken from Pray4Freedom's blackplanet page:
> 
> ?Why is sex (before marriage) so bad when it feels so good?
> 
> 
> Well there are obvious reasons such as:
> 1. Diseases, there are some you can get rid of and some that you can`t such as HIV which later turns into AIDS...you get this one, you know your gonna die. (In the U.S., 1 in 4 sexually active teens become infected with an STD every year {that`s a lot}. Some common STDs are chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital warts (also known as HPV - human papillomavirus), and herpes)
> 2. Teen pregnancy or adult UNPLANNED pregnancy.
> 3. Guilt
> 4. Loss of respect
> 
> But the number one reason to consider NOT doing it is because God says not to.
> 
> 1Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know your body is a temple of the holy spirit, who is in you, whom you received from God? You are not your own; you were brought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.(NIV)
> 
> 
> Easier said than done huh?
> 
> Well, anything is possible when you have God on your side! Even stopping yourself from having sex again until marriage.
> 
> 
> *****For YOUNG Girls****
> 
> YOU DON`T HAVE TO DO IT! You don`t have to have sex with a boy to make him like you. You don`t have to have sex because he pressures you. You have so much power do you realize that? We as women have power!!
> 
> If he decides to leave when you tell him no, let him go. More than likely a little boy doesn`t care that much about you anyway. He cares about himself. He will say he loves you, wants to marry you, he will die for you blah blah BLAH! All lies.
> 
> Remember GOD loves you and wants you to be happy! I`ll be frank with you, a lot of young boys are out to see how much sex they can get. They will use you and throw you away like Monday`s garbage.
> WATCH OUT!*
> 
> 
> ****For OLDER Women****
> 
> Sad to say but some grown men do the same. My momma always told me that a man will only do as much to you as you let him. I know that to be true. But I had to learn the hard way.
> ****Lastly Please Don`t Strive To Be A Video Girl! ****
> Your Better Than That!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> STOP!
> 
> Stop being simple minded
> Stop being desperate
> Stop being pitiful
> Stop being naive
> Stop letting him do you like that!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> START!
> 
> Start living for God
> Start making better decisions
> Start being happy
> Start loving yourself
> Start over TODAY!!
> 
> 
> 
> (Sex is supposed to be enjoyable but between a husband and wife, I don`t want to disappoint God again in that way)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 1. Tell yourself daily that you are beautiful
> 2. Tell yourself daily you are smart
> 3. When negative thoughts come around it`s okay to tell them to go away
> 4. Talk back to the devil when he tries to take your joy
> 
> ABOVE ALL, TALK TO GOD!! Talk to him like he`s sitting beside you. God is your friend, remember that. And he hears you even when you don`t think he does.




Now why wasn't someone banging this in my head during high school?


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## mzcaramelicious07

This is a great thread!  I'm in (still a big V...lol) and also praying for everyone else.

Be blessed!


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## sugaplum

Koffie said:
			
		

> Now why wasn't someone banging this in my head during high school?




My only problem was I got all this bashed into my head but I never listened being the rebellious teenager.


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## sugaplum

mzcaramelicious07 said:
			
		

> This is a great thread!  I'm in (still a big V...lol) and also praying for everyone else.
> 
> Be blessed!




Thank you mzcarmelicious, and God Bless you for joining our challenge.


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## naptrl

sugaplum said:
			
		

> Awww thank you naptrl for your support, your prayers & your blessings.
> God Bless you,


You're welcome, suga!!  May God bless your efforts!


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## Supergirl

sithembile said:
			
		

> This is great, count me in! I've been celibate for over 1 year now, though I still struggle in my mind a lot, but I'm wholeheartedly trying to honour God with my body and mind! I haven't dated yet since becoming a Christian, but I hope to follow those guidelines when I do!



That's awesome girl!  I think this is the best challenge this board has ever had--woo hoo!  I've been celibate for 8 1/2 years and it was one of the most awesome thing I could've done for myself!


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## Bublnbrnsuga

So, is this gonna be the type of challenge where we check in on how each other's doing? If so, that would be great support


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## MissJ

The easiest challenge ever.  I'm definitely in!


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## sithembile

natalied said:
			
		

> 2 Corinthians 5:17
> Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a  new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are  become new.



That is exactly what I was thinking! Thank God for forgiveness and new beginnings!


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## sithembile

Supergirl said:
			
		

> That's awesome girl!  I think this is the best challenge this board has ever had--woo hoo!  I've been celibate for 8 1/2 years and it was one of the most awesome thing I could've done for myself!



Thank you SG, you were one of the people who encouraged and inspired me when I started my walk with God just over a year ago!


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## UmSumayyah

Add me as another voice of support.


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## sithembile

MissJ said:
			
		

> The easiest challenge ever.  I'm definitely in!



MissJ, I haven't seen you in a long time! Btw, I wish it would be as easy for me!


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## Tami

I'm starting this journey with you guys also, I need all the words of encouragement I can get.  Thanks ladies....


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## sugaplum

Thanks for joining in Bublnbrnsuga,Supergirl,MissJ,UmSumayyah, Tami and God Bless you ladies. 

Bubln, anyone can check in.   We are here to support each other.


----------



## BLESSED1

Koffie said:
			
		

> I'm in...... I just wish I was a virgin.... *****sighs and exits thread******



O-kay!! I'm sighing and exiting right behind you girl! This was one of the major reasons why I broke up w/ my ex fiance, I wanted to get closer to God and began celibacy to start (he wasn't down for that). I would like to be in but it's gonna be a struggle. Anyone wanna be my "chastity buddy"   Seriously though I appreciate any prayers and moral support, and I will also be praying for the sisters/brothers here participating in this challenge.


----------



## NYCQT16

BLESSED1 said:
			
		

> This was one of the major reasons why I broke up w/ my ex fiance, *I wanted to get closer to God and began celibacy to start* (he wasn't down for that)


 
see..that's me! I want to get closer to God but I really feel like I cannot due to me having sex.  I keep thinking to just go as I am and through faith and patience and dedication, those sexual desires will pass away but I feel so guilty to read the Bible or pray, knowing next time I see my SO I will be doing the do.  I also hope I'm not bringing wrongness in the thread by saying this, but for me it's hard b/c it is something I enjoy and feels good and I guess I feel like ok I already did the do, what will it matter when I get married anyway.   

I would like to know if there are any ladies who were already in a relationship that involved sex and then in that same relationship turned celibate successfully?  Did the relationship end, or were you able to be celibate in the relationship without the relationhip turning sour?


----------



## JuJuBoo

NYCQT16 said:
			
		

> see..that's me! I want to get closer to God but I really feel like I cannot due to me having sex.  I keep thinking to just go as I am and through faith and patience and dedication, those sexual desires will pass away but I feel so guilty to read the Bible or pray, knowing next time I see my SO I will be doing the do.  I also hope I'm not bringing wrongness in the thread by saying this, but for me it's hard b/c it is something I enjoy and feels good and I guess I feel like ok I already did the do, what will it matter when I get married anyway.
> 
> I would like to know if there are any ladies who were already in a relationship that involved sex and then in that same relationship turned celibate successfully?  Did the relationship end, or were you able to be celibate in the relationship without the relationhip turning sour?




Sex is a beautiful thing (I'm told  ), so don't feel wrong for saying you enjoy it. I'd be worried if you weren't, and still having sex with your SO. 

Having that said, the question is what's more important to you? Your relationship with your SO? Or your relationship with God?

The last thing you need to worry about is how no sex is going to impact your relationship, cause the truth is--if this dude dumps you because you want to pursue a closer relationship with God, than he's not worth your time.  

I hope I'm not too blunt. I'm blunt because i've seen friend after friend and friend choose the rather (the boyfriend) and regret it.


----------



## Poohbear

JuJuBoo said:
			
		

> Sex is a beautiful thing (I'm told  ), so don't feel wrong for saying you enjoy it. I'd be worried if you weren't, and still having sex with your SO.
> 
> Having that said, the question is what's more important to you? Your relationship with your SO? Or your relationship with God?
> 
> The last thing you need to worry about is how no sex is going to impact your relationship, cause the truth is--if this dude dumps you because you want to pursue a closer relationship with God, than he's not worth your time.
> 
> I hope I'm not too blunt. I'm blunt because i've seen friend after friend and friend choose the rather (the boyfriend) and regret it.


I totally agree! great post!


----------



## Bublnbrnsuga

MissJ said:
			
		

> The easiest challenge ever.  I'm definitely in!



I know, right? Thankfully, I have SO who calms me down! He keeps us focused on our goal.


----------



## sugaplum

NYCQT16 said:
			
		

> see..that's me! I want to get closer to God but I really feel like I cannot due to me having sex.  I keep thinking to just go as I am and through faith and patience and dedication, those sexual desires will pass away but I feel so guilty to read the Bible or pray, knowing next time I see my SO I will be doing the do.  I also hope I'm not bringing wrongness in the thread by saying this, but for me it's hard b/c it is something I enjoy and feels good and I guess I feel like ok I already did the do, what will it matter when I get married anyway.
> 
> I would like to know if there are any ladies who were already in a relationship that involved sex and then in that same relationship turned celibate successfully?  Did the relationship end, or were you able to be celibate in the relationship without the relationhip turning sour?



Hi, NYCQT16 

I had to make a choice between my SO or God.  I had to ask myself some questions:

1)Who will love me unconditonally? 
2)Becuase I'm a Christian, who is it I need to follow, the world or Jesus?
3)The pleasure that I'm receiving, is it better then the love from God?
4)Would God approve of my lifestyle?

See I realized that I too wasn't worthy of reading the Bible or going to Church becuase I was having sex (and doin' a whoooole lot of other stuff ).  I was feeling guilty. Gulity becuase I was playing with the fact that Jesus died for us and I'm treating God's property this way.   I had to end all my relationships (I was a little bit of a playa  ).  But it was my first step towards becoming closer to God and living my life the way He wants.  

Why did I do this? Because Exodus 34:14 tells us that God is a jealous and He wants you to worship Him only.  I had to take out the things in my life that were blocking me from achieving this. 

I hope my testimony helped you.


----------



## sugaplum

JuJuBoo said:
			
		

> Sex is a beautiful thing (I'm told  ), so don't feel wrong for saying you enjoy it. I'd be worried if you weren't, and still having sex with your SO.
> 
> Having that said, the question is what's more important to you? Your relationship with your SO? Or your relationship with God?
> 
> The last thing you need to worry about is how no sex is going to impact your relationship, cause the truth is--if this dude dumps you because you want to pursue a closer relationship with God, than he's not worth your time.
> 
> I hope I'm not too blunt. I'm blunt because i've seen friend after friend and friend choose the rather (the boyfriend) and regret it.



This is sooo true Juu Juu Boo.   Honestly, I was in a relationship, and because I told him I was getting closer to the Lord and wanted to stop having sex, he dumped me.   He may have dropped me, but Jesus picked me up.


----------



## mzcaramelicious07

Again, I have to say this is a wonderful thread.  In person, I don't know one other female who is waiting until marriage (whether they have already had sex or not) to get down w/ the get down.  I just want to encourage everyone.  It may look hard, but there are some things that you can do in the physical (as well as spiritually praying, staying the in the Word, speaking scripture and what you are trying to accomplish over your life, etc.).  Just to give an example, I'll tell my situation and what I am doing.

I've been in a relationship (my first boyfriend cuz I waited on someone who I knew that the Lord would have for me) for over 3 and a half yrs.  I'm 22 and he is 23.  We are both a man and woman of God, so we knew from the beginning that there would be no action until after we both said, "I do."  So from the very beginning we would limit our kisses cuz kissing only causes you to want to do more.  I have my own apartment, so when he would be at my house, he would leave by a certain time.  There was no chillin' all long in the night hours.  Also, he would never really step in my bedroom unless it was to get something for me or something like that.  There would be no, "oh...we are both tired, so lets just take a nap."  We would do fun things like watch movies, play games even work out together.  Now after three years of being with the person that you know God has for you, you start to get more and more affectionate.  We found ourselves innocently starting to lay down on the couch to watch movies.  Not on top of each other or anything.  Just side by side. Big no no!  Now we just sit up or one lets the other lay down.  If I am just having a chill day at my apartment by myself and have on a lil' tank top and some skimpy tight short shorts and he pops up, I will tell him to hold on and I will go change.  I know that him seeing me like that will turn him on. I don't know if this stuff sounds silly, but I am telling you that little things help.  I am telling you from experience.  I can truly say that we are both are still going to go into marriage still pure for each other.  And for those who have already had sex, you can now start to do things to help you and your partner to wait.  It is never too late...I have already read other posts where encouragement was given...don't give up or feel bad!

Are there any other suggestions that can be given?


----------



## sugaplum

WOW what a great story of encouragement mzcaramelicious07.   Thank you for sharing this.  I've learned from your experiences.  

I will remember this when I get into my next relationship (no rush though  ).  I'm single right now and following Christ.  My biggest mistake was taking things too fast in a relationship.  I would find myself falling in lust with a person and mistook for love. 

Also you mentioned about dressing appropriatly and this is true.  I've found out that as I'm getting closer to God, I dress and carry myself with more dignity since we are daughters of the King.


----------



## naptrl

Great post, mzcaramelicious07!! Very wise words!


----------



## luv04

im a virgin who is not involved and i am content with my state.


----------



## melodee

Wow, how wonderful.  It's a blessing to know you guys are out there!!!!!!

Lean on the Lord, and He will see you through.


----------



## Cinnabuns

melodee said:
			
		

> Lean on the Lord, and He will see you through.



Those are beautiful words Melodee.


----------



## tuffCOOKiE

I abstained from sex for 2 years but during that time still, i feel that I cant 'get in good' with God.  Thank you so much for that encouragement however.  You guys are soo helpful.


----------



## IntelligenceisBeautiful

see..that's me! I want to get closer to God but I really feel like I cannot due to me having sex. I keep thinking to just go as I am and through faith and patience and dedication, those sexual desires will pass away but I feel so guilty to read the Bible or pray, knowing next time I see my SO I will be doing the do. I also hope I'm not bringing wrongness in the thread by saying this, but for me it's hard b/c it is something I enjoy and feels good and I guess I feel like ok I already did the do, what will it matter when I get married anyway.

I would like to know if there are any ladies who were already in a relationship that involved sex and then in that same relationship turned celibate successfully? Did the relationship end, or were you able to be celibate in the relationship without the relationhip turning sour?
__________________
NYCQT we are on the exact same page, but I realize now more than ever that I have to stop because its taking a toll on me spiritually, I wasn't convicted before but I feel God is convicting me right now, I feel so bound by this sin and I want to be free, personally I think this is the main obstacle that's blocking me and my relationship with God.  I hope everything works out for you.  Be Blessed


----------



## sithembile

NYCQT

I understand how you feel, I felt the same way in my last relationship. I'd always wanted to become a christian but I was too scared that my relationship would end if I stopped having sex. I eventually told my boyfriend that I wanted to stop and he said all the right things, like he'd support me and all that. We stopped for a while, but because we still hung out and slept in the same bed, we inevitably continued to have sex, and I felt so guilty all the time. But I reasoned by saying that we'd get married anyway. But, the relationship fell apart after he started to cheating. The point is that celibacy has to be the goal of both persons in the relationship, if your boyfriend isn't 100% committed to that, it will be very difficult, and will probably strain your relationship. Is your boyfriend a christian?


----------



## AngelicRose07

count me in!


----------



## CatSuga

My advice: If you are weak, don't let yourself be ALONE with him.  

Let me post my little sad ( and short) story......  

Last week I was over a friend's house, I'll call him "K".  "Y" was there too ( I like Y) and we were all talking about this book that Y is writing. Any way, K leaves so now it is just me and Y in the room. 
Now, I'm not Christian but I've felt the need to *stop* all sexual activities that include me and naked men.   Casual sex does nothing but cause stress and problems.    So far I think it has been a 4months (thats a looooooooong time in CatSuga years) .
But yall, I felt sooooooooo weak being in the room alone with him.
I was laying on the bed and Y was sitting across from me in a chair. I keep hearing that little lustful voice in my head, "Just get him on the bed, just get him on the bed". I tried my BEST to get him to sit by me on that dang bed. 
"Come look at this."
"What's this on my toes?"
"Scratch my back."
"What's this on my back?"
"Touch my hair; does it feel dry? "

After my *FAILED* attempt at man rape I regained my senses and felt really bad. I don't even know this guys mama name and was about to "mount" him.  I know now that if I would have had sex with him I would have felt like a cheapo loser slut and it would have killed our friendship.


----------



## mzcaramelicious07

sugaplum said:
			
		

> WOW what a great story of encouragement mzcaramelicious07.   Thank you for sharing this.  I've learned from your experiences.
> 
> I will remember this when I get into my next relationship (no rush though  ).  I'm single right now and following Christ.  My biggest mistake was taking things too fast in a relationship.  I would find myself falling in lust with a person and mistook for love.
> 
> Also you mentioned about dressing appropriatly and this is true.  I've found out that as I'm getting closer to God, I dress and carry myself with more dignity since we are daughters of the King.



Hey...I'm just now seeing this!   You're welcome.  I know that it is easier for someone to understand from someone elses experience.  Yes, and I do agree w/ u that it is best to take things slow.  Girl I was 19 when I met my boyfriend.  He is my first boyfriend (and I am also his first girlfriend) because we kept ourselves for someone who met both our individual and God's standards.  And also the way you dress can reflect who you are inside.  Fitted and everything is nice, but I draw the line at skin booty tight and showing the actuall goods (breast, etc)!!


----------



## mzcaramelicious07

naptrl said:
			
		

> Great post, mzcaramelicious07!! Very wise words!



Thanks.  I'm glad to be able to share!


----------



## mzcaramelicious07

Okay...this is too funny.

Y'all I washed my hair this morning and was deep conditioning under the dryer.  Well, I don't have a robe, so I will sit under the dryer in a towel since I live by myself.  I am away from home at college and my boyfriend is the closest one to me down here, so I gave him my spare set of keys to my house in case I would ever lock myself out.  Well, out of all times for him to surprise me and use the key instead of knocking, he used it today!  I was sitting booty butt naked w/ just a towel on in my living room under the dryer.  Well, y'all God knows cuz in the midst of the dryer and tv on, I heard the door knob being messed with.  Why did I automatically turn into Flo Jo and jump up from that dryer and sprint to the bathroom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Now I made it up off of that floor and out of his sight in .2 seconds flat!  By the time he made it through the door, I was gone!! lol I was crackin' up thinking about this thread!


----------



## Poohbear

mzcaramelicious07 said:
			
		

> Hey...I'm just now seeing this!  You're welcome. I know that it is easier for someone to understand from someone elses experience. *Yes, and I do agree w/ u that it is best to take things slow. Girl I was 19 when I met my boyfriend. He is my first boyfriend (and I am also his first girlfriend) because we kept ourselves for someone who met both our individual and God's standards.* And also the way you dress can reflect who you are inside. Fitted and everything is nice, but I draw the line at skin booty tight and showing the actuall goods (breast, etc)!!


This is VERY unique! God has truly blessed you! I also liked your previous post! It helped me too with giving me more tips in order to prevent from having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend who isn't a virgin.


----------



## mzcaramelicious07

Poohbear said:
			
		

> This is VERY unique! God has truly blessed you! I also liked your previous post! It helped me too with giving me more tips in order to prevent from having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend who isn't a virgin.




Good, good!  I'm glad I could help.....or I should say I'm glad God helped...He allowed me to be used for His good.  Let me quit trying to take credit for stuff that ain't mine! lol


----------



## missyT

I'm in. I've sort of been on this challenge all my life (apart from when I didn't know what sex was of course, coz then it wasn't a challenge). But I'm going to reform the rules a bit. For me this challenge means:
-No rude thoughts
-Turning my eyes away from anything remotely sexual in nature
- No kissing on the lips, when I have a boyfriend. This might be the really hard part.
...as well as all the others stated above.


----------



## sugaplum

ALRIGHT!! Welcome Weaveitup and Missy T.  

God Bless you for joining.


----------



## NYCQT16

IntelligenceisBeautiful said:
			
		

> NYCQT we are on the exact same page, but I realize now more than ever that I have to stop because its taking a toll on me spiritually, I wasn't convicted before but I feel God is convicting me right now, I feel so bound by this sin and I want to be free, personally I think this is the main obstacle that's blocking me and my relationship with God. I hope everything works out for you. Be Blessed


 
Thank you.  I hope everything works out for you too.  It is sooooo hard tho


----------



## NYCQT16

sithembile said:
			
		

> NYCQT
> 
> I understand how you feel, I felt the same way in my last relationship. I'd always wanted to become a christian but I was too scared that my relationship would end if I stopped having sex. I eventually told my boyfriend that I wanted to stop and he said all the right things, like he'd support me and all that. We stopped for a while, but because we still hung out and slept in the same bed, we inevitably continued to have sex, and I felt so guilty all the time. But I reasoned by saying that we'd get married anyway. But, the relationship fell apart after he started to cheating. The point is that celibacy has to be the goal of both persons in the relationship, if your boyfriend isn't 100% committed to that, it will be very difficult, and will probably strain your relationship. Is your boyfriend a christian?


 
No he's not...or yes he is.  Depends on what you define as Christian    Does he believe in God, yes.  But does he go to church, read the Bible, really pratice the Word? No.  Neither do I.  We both have expressed a desire to get closer to God but we haven't made any real steps.  I know that the relationship will falter if we both don't 100% commit to it.  It's so hard for me right now


----------



## NYCQT16

JuJuBoo said:
			
		

> Sex is a beautiful thing (I'm told  ), so don't feel wrong for saying you enjoy it. I'd be worried if you weren't, and still having sex with your SO.
> 
> Having that said, the question is what's more important to you? Your relationship with your SO? Or your relationship with God?
> 
> The last thing you need to worry about is how no sex is going to impact your relationship, cause the truth is--if this dude dumps you because you want to pursue a closer relationship with God, than he's not worth your time.
> 
> I hope I'm not too blunt. I'm blunt because i've seen friend after friend and friend choose the rather (the boyfriend) and regret it.


 
I don't have a relationship with God...not the way I want.  Having a relationship with Him (God) though is more important.  I know you are right about that (if he dumps me).  I tend to worry and over analyze, so for me it's looking like this.  Let's say I say I am going to be celibate, he dumps me, I begin celibacy but still don't get close to God, get in a new relationship, have sex...then what was the whole point of losing the relationship for celibacy that didn't get me the goal of closeness? (rhetorical question).  I just don't know whether it makes more sense for my goal (to be closer to God) to stop having sex and then pursue the relationship with God, or pursue the relationship with God and let the desires pass away?  B/C without God I KNOW I cannot begin or stay celibate *sigh*  

Thank u for the questions JuJuBoo...they opened my eyes to more questions I need to consider


----------



## sugaplum

missyT said:
			
		

> I'm in. I've sort of been on this challenge all my life (apart from when I didn't know what sex was of course, coz then it wasn't a challenge). But I'm going to reform the rules a bit. For me this challenge means:
> *-No rude thoughts*
> -Turning my eyes away from anything remotely sexual in nature
> - No kissing on the lips, when I have a boyfriend. This might be the really hard part.
> ...as well as all the others stated above.



I understand you sooo much with this quote, MissyT. 

Ever since I've become celibate, since I no longer have sex, the devil trys to bring up past impure thoughts in my mind!! It'll come from out of no where!!  But everytime I call on the name of Jesus, and ask that the thought be rebuked...it's gone!!


----------



## locabouthair

well I've been on this challenge since I was born.   And I plan to stay on it for a while. Now I am single it is a lot easier to stay on it than when your in a relationship.


----------



## sugaplum

locabouthair said:
			
		

> well I've been on this challenge since I was born.   And I plan to stay on it for a while. Now I am single it is a lot easier to stay on it than when your in a relationship.



Welcome Locabouthair.   God bless you for joining. 

And you brought up a good point about how it's easier to take on a challenge like this when your single then when your in a relationship.   IMHO, I am more focused on the Lord without any distractions.


----------



## AngelicRose07

sugaplum said:
			
		

> ALRIGHT!! Welcome Weaveitup and Missy T.
> 
> God Bless you for joining.




thanks for the warm welcome! 

hopefully some of you guys dont mind checking out my thread http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=56427 about how this is affecting my relationship. i really need some help with that


----------



## sugaplum

weaveitup said:
			
		

> thanks for the warm welcome!
> 
> hopefully some of you guys dont mind checking out my thread http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=56427 about how this is affecting my relationship. i really need some help with that



Weave-it-up I posted in this forum.   I pray that it helps you.


----------



## angaliquew

Count me in too...although I've been celibate for almost 2 years now, it's good to know that I'm not alone, especially when I start to question if it's worth it.  
Just reading everyones positive post have reassured me that I'm doing the right thing and that we all will be blessed beyond measure if we keep God 1st in our lives.

I'll keep all of you ladies in my prayers


----------



## sugaplum

Alright angaliquew 

God Bless you for joining.   We all have the same goal of following the Christian life.   You are def not alone.


----------



## sugaplum

How are you ladies doing on the challenge?   I've been praying for all my sistas of the LHCF.


----------



## sithembile

Sugaplum
My challenge is going well, I've been praying lately for God to purify my mind and for Him to help me to cast down any wrong imaginations, its not easy, but I feel so good when I am able to overcome any sexual thoughts. Its good to know that there are other ladies here who are on the same path in life.


----------



## sugaplum

sithembile said:
			
		

> Sugaplum
> My challenge is going well, I've been praying lately for God to purify my mind and for Him to help me to cast down any wrong imaginations, its not easy, but I feel so good when I am able to overcome any sexual thoughts. Its good to know that there are other ladies here who are on the same path in life.



That's great sithembile.  I've been having a constant battle with my dreams at night and they are full of "sex junk"!!   Does this happen to you or anyone else here?  

When I pray before I go to bed at night (Asking God to intervine), I no longer have dreams that are full of "sex junk."  But instead I have dreams of the end of the world!!


----------



## angaliquew

sugaplum said:
			
		

> That's great sithembile.  I've been having a constant battle with my dreams at night and they are full of "sex junk"!!   Does this happen to you or anyone else here?
> 
> When I pray before I go to bed at night (Asking God to intervine), I no longer have dreams that are full of "sex junk."  But instead I have dreams of the end of the world!!




OMG  the same thing has been happening to me too. I've learned how to deal with the thoughts during the day but I've noticed that I've been having some crazy dreams...if you know what I mean. I wonder why that happens 

P.S. thank you for the warm welcome *sugaplum*


----------



## bajanplums1

I know i am late to this challenge, but I am definitely in. I have tried on my own in the past, but fell short.

I am at a transitional point in my life. I have been active from age 21-27 and have to say sex alone it is not that satisfying. What is more satisfying is being in love and in a committed relationship. 

I also realized that a lot of time I have sex because I fell that I need to do it to make my man happy. 

This summer, I finish law school, taking the bar and begin working again after a 3 year hiatus. I am turning 28, I want to be in a real relationship that will lead to marriage. I feel that 6 years was more than enough time to do as the world does and it isn't for me.  I want more, this is a good start.  

thanks ladies!


----------



## sugaplum

bajanplums1 said:
			
		

> I know i am late to this challenge, but I am definitely in. I have tried on my own in the past, but fell short.
> 
> I am at a transitional point in my life. I have been active from age 21-27 and have to say sex alone it is not that satisfying. What is more satisfying is being in love and in a committed relationship.
> 
> I also realized that a lot of time I have sex because I fell that I need to do it to make my man happy.
> 
> This summer, I finish law school, taking the bar and begin working again after a 3 year hiatus. I am turning 28, I want to be in a real relationship that will lead to marriage. I feel that 6 years was more than enough time to do as the world does and it isn't for me.  I want more, this is a good start.
> 
> thanks ladies!



God Bless you for joining bajanplums1.   I think we all have fallen short of God's glory.  But He's always there to pick us up.  

And you will be finishing law school this summer.   That is fantastic   What a blessing.

I looked at this thread as a means of starting over and new with Christ.


----------



## sugaplum

angaliquew said:
			
		

> OMG  the same thing has been happening to me too. I've learned how to deal with the thoughts during the day but I've noticed that I've been having some crazy dreams...if you know what I mean. I wonder why that happens
> 
> P.S. thank you for the warm welcome *sugaplum*



You're welcome angaliquew.  

And WOW-O-WOW!!   That is something how we are going through the same things.  And I know what you mean by "crazy dreams."  But what the part that boggles my mind is, I would never, IN 1000 YEARS, do the things in my dreams.   And to top it off, I've never had dreams of this intensity either.  I wonder if this is a way that the Devil will try to intervene becuase we longer have sex?


----------



## angaliquew

sugaplum said:
			
		

> You're welcome angaliquew.
> 
> And WOW-O-WOW!!   That is something how we are going through the same things.  And I know what you mean by "crazy dreams."  But what the part that boggles my mind is, I would never, IN 1000 YEARS, do the things in my dreams.   And to top it off, I've never had dreams of this intensity either.  I wonder if this is a way that the Devil will try to intervene becuase we longer have sex?


 
Who knows...all I know is that God knows our heart and our intent to follow his word  
back off devil!


----------



## angaliquew

bajanplums1 said:
			
		

> I know i am late to this challenge, but I am definitely in. I have tried on my own in the past, but fell short.
> 
> I am at a transitional point in my life. I have been active from age 21-27 and have to say sex alone it is not that satisfying. What is more satisfying is being in love and in a committed relationship.
> 
> I also realized that a lot of time I have sex because I fell that I need to do it to make my man happy.
> 
> This summer, I finish law school, taking the bar and begin working again after a 3 year hiatus. I am turning 28, I want to be in a real relationship that will lead to marriage. I feel that 6 years was more than enough time to do as the world does and it isn't for me.  I want more, this is a good start.
> 
> thanks ladies!



Happy to see you're joining us bajanplums1...good luck passing the bar


----------



## sugaplum

Hello ladies,

I'm just checking in to see how everyone is doing.  
How is evryone?

I've been praying for all the ladies on this challenge as well.


----------



## BLESSED1

sugaplum said:
			
		

> Hello ladies,
> 
> I'm just checking in to see how everyone is doing.
> How is evryone?
> 
> I've been praying for all the ladies on this challenge as well.



thanks for the prayer, I know I really need it. My bf just left me when he realized I was serious about abstaining from sex, and I work at a gym & am surrounded by umm, healthy and handsome men....must stop typing now, getting mental pictures in my head


----------



## mahogany

BLESSED1 said:
			
		

> thanks for the prayer, I know I really need it. My bf just left me when he realized I was serious about abstaining from sex, and I work at a gym & am surrounded by umm, healthy and handsome men....must stop typing now, getting mental pictures in my head



<Sigh>.. My Bf just left me too because I chose to abstain. I have really been going through a roller coaster of emotions right now, I thought he was the one.    I was anointed with Oil Friday night, but I would really appreciate it if you guys could pray for me.


----------



## Ayeshia

sugaplum said:
			
		

> You're welcome angaliquew.
> 
> And WOW-O-WOW!!   That is something how we are going through the same things.  And I know what you mean by "crazy dreams."  But what the part that boggles my mind is, I would never, IN 1000 YEARS, do the things in my dreams.   And to top it off, I've never had dreams of this intensity either.  I wonder if this is a way that the Devil will try to intervene becuase we longer have sex?



nah. Im not a christian but I say that its normal to dream about sex...in fact who controls what they dream about anyway?. They usually say the last distant thing on your mind is what you end up dreaming about. Trust if I could have sex in my dreams every night please believe I wouldn't even bother with sex the "real world" . Good luck to all of you ladies in the challenge .


----------



## sugaplum

mahogany & BLESSED1 these are the same steps I took and I never looked back.  I'm very proud of you ladies. 

And I'm not going to lie, it hurted losing the one I "thought" was the one for me.  But then I asked myself, am I more afraid of losing this guy or is my love for this guy greater then love I have for God?  

Luke 6:22 - "Blessed are you when men hate you, and when they exclude you and revile you, and cast out your name as evil, on account of the Son of man!   

mahogany, I can say that the pain does hurt, but it does go away. 

Ayeshia, I used to think that we have no control over our dreams, but the minute I prayed for God to interviene, He just pushes that devil right on back to where he belongs.   Christians understand what this means. As far as what *"they"* say.....the devil says a lot of stuff, but we know who our true Heavenly Father is. 

Thank you for the support Ayeshia, and I will keep you in my prayers as well.


----------



## Ayeshia

sugaplum said:
			
		

> mahogany & BLESSED1 these are the same steps I took and I never looked back.
> 
> And I'm not going to lie, it hurted losing the one I "thought" was the one for me.  But then I asked myself, am I more afraid of losing this guy or is my love for this guy greater then love I have for God?
> 
> Luke 6:22 - "Blessed are you when men hate you, and when they exclude you and revile you, and cast out your name as evil, on account of the Son of man!
> 
> mahogany, I can say that the pain does hurt, but it does go away.
> 
> Ayeshia, I used to think that we have no control over our dreams, but the minute I prayed for God to interviene, He just pushes that devil right on back to where he belongs.   Christians understand what this means. As far as what *"they"* say...well, the devil says a lot of stuff, but we know who our true Father is.
> 
> Thank you for the support Ayeshia, and I will keep you in my prayers as well.



Thanks  ...and "they" I was referring to the psychologists/dream analysts ..but its all good


----------



## sugaplum

Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't this apply to everyone in the "Christianty Forum"??? 

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=50150


----------



## pebbles

sugaplum said:
			
		

> You're welcome angaliquew.
> 
> And WOW-O-WOW!!   That is something how we are going through the same things.  And I know what you mean by "crazy dreams."  But what the part that boggles my mind is, I would never, IN 1000 YEARS, do the things in my dreams.   And to top it off, I've never had dreams of this intensity either.  *I wonder if this is a way that the Devil will try to intervene becuase we longer have sex?*



You better believe the enemy is using every means possible. All he has to do is place these thoughts in your mind, and you're on your way. Whether you're awake or asleep, he's done his job. When you are praying, ask the Lord to protect your thoughts and desires even in your sleep. This is all from a Christian perspective. The doctors and psychologists will say something else and people who aren't religious will feel this is all nonsense, but know what the Father expects of us. That's the only thing that counts.


----------



## Ayeshia

sugaplum said:
			
		

> Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't this apply to everyone in the "Christianty Forum"???
> 
> http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=50150



 Im not trying to debate or counteract anything you believe. Its not that serious when you have to post the rules...I know what the rules are .  I have a very open mind and I was replying to what you said aiight? Wait am I allowed to post in here or not? Seriously. 

and @ pebbles I didnt say anything according to your beliefs were nonsense or wrong. Im not against what anybody has to say, esp here.

Have a great day! the weather is beautiful out (well at least where I live  )
and once again GOOD LUCK on the Challenge


----------



## sugaplum

pebbles said:
			
		

> You better believe the enemy is using every means possible. All he has to do is place these thoughts in your mind, and you're on your way. Whether you're awake or asleep, he's done his job. When you are praying, ask the Lord to protect your thoughts and desires even in your sleep. This is all from a Christian perspective. The doctors and psychologists will say something else and people who aren't religious will feel this is all nonsense, but know what the Father expects of us. That's the only thing that counts.


Thank you, pebbles.  

Ayesha, have a blessed day and I love you. 

How is everyone doing on the challenge?


----------



## Cinnabuns

sugaplum said:
			
		

> Thank you, pebbles.
> 
> Ayesha, have a blessed day and I love you.
> 
> How is everyone doing on the challenge?



I'm doing great Sugaplum! God is working in my life more than ever right now and I can't thank Him enough for all that He has done for me. 

God bless everyone.

Note: I am praising the Lord that this post is now a sticky!  God bless you too mods


----------



## Sade

Ayeshia said:
			
		

> Im not trying to debate or counteract anything you believe. Its not that serious when you have to post the rules...I know what the rules are . I have a very open mind and I was replying to what you said aiight? Wait am I allowed to post in here or not? Seriously.
> 
> and @ pebbles I didnt say anything according to your beliefs were nonsense or wrong. Im not against what anybody has to say, esp here.
> 
> Have a great day! the weather is beautiful out (well at least where I live  )
> and once again GOOD LUCK on the Challenge


 
I agree with Ayeshia. I am a christain but I don't go to church often that doesn't mean that I don't believe in God and it doesn't mean I will not visit the the christainity board. I visit for various reason maybe I have a question that i need answers to or maybe just for encouragement if I have some to give. Even though I am not in on the challenge I wanna encourage the people who are on it to stay on track. It is just like some of the hair challenges that we have not everyone is apart of it but it doesn't mean we all don't encourage each other. If we limit this board to just those that believe in Jesus then how are people who don't believe get enlighten? Some people might view things differently so why point out the rules like they are not welcomed? In my opinion that type of behaviour is not christ like because he embraced everyone whether they agreed with his believes or not. He listened to people and then try to show them the way. The christain thing to do is to accept everyone into this board whether or not they are christain, cuz since when is it written some where that people who aren't christains can't become christain based on being influence by a christain. I truely wish everyone on this challenge the best and I will pray for you all. I am not a part of the challenge but I can't remember the last time I had sex. I just don't wanna join the challenge because everyone else is I wanna do it because I believe in the challenge. I hope I didn't offend anyone. Stay blessed


----------



## Cinnabuns

Sade said:
			
		

> I agree with Ayeshia. I am a christain but I don't go to church often that doesn't mean that I don't believe in God and it doesn't mean I will not visit the the christainity board. I visit for various reason maybe I have a question that i need answers to or maybe just for encouragement if I have some to give. Even though I am not in on the challenge I wanna encourage the people who are on it to stay on track. It is just like some of the hair challenges that we have not everyone is apart of it but it doesn't mean we all don't encourage each other. If we limit this board to just those that believe in Jesus then how are people who don't believe get enlighten? Some people might view things differently so why point out the rules like they are not welcomed? In my opinion that type of behaviour is not christ like because he embraced everyone whether they agreed with his believes or not. He listened to people and then try to show them the way. The christain thing to do is to accept everyone into this board whether or not they are christain, cuz since when is it written some where that people who aren't christains can't become christain based on being influence by a christain. I truely wish everyone on this challenge the best and I will pray for you all. I am not a part of the challenge but I can't remember the last time I had sex. I just don't wanna join the challenge because everyone else is I wanna do it because I believe in the challenge. I hope I didn't offend anyone. Stay blessed



Interesting, I saw nothing wrong with posting the rules.  It's the truth right?

Christ is all about the truth.


----------



## JuJuBoo

Cinnabuns said:
			
		

> Interesting, I saw nothing wrong with posting the rules.  It's the truth right?
> 
> Christ is all about the truth.



I think it can come across as stand offish at times. As soon as someone who's perhaps not as strong in the faith questions something in the Word, rather than answering the question and having an adult conversation (a.k.a. EVANGELIZING)  the "RULE" gets slammed in their face. I believe in the Word 110%, and it even bothers ME everytime I see that done...

I just think we need to be careful with the "RULE" and be a bit more sensitive to people's needs. 

Anyway, back to the topic. If any one feels the need to respond concerning this, PM me....cause this is a good thread, and we should keep it on topic.


----------



## Sade

Cinnabuns said:
			
		

> Interesting, *I saw nothing wrong with posting the rules*. It's the truth right?
> 
> Christ is all about the truth.


 
Well I did. We are all adults and have all read the rules why throw it in people's faces. 

Anyway, back to the topic how is everyone doing? I am on the fence whether I wanna join the challenge or not. I am praying about it and in due time I hope I abstain from sex. I haven't physically had sex in so long ( I can't even remember) but i don't wanna think about it either.


----------



## JuJuBoo

Sade said:
			
		

> Anyway, back to the topic how is everyone doing? I am on the fence whether I wanna join the challenge or not. I am praying about it and in due time I hope I abstain from sex. I haven't physically had sex in so long ( I can't even remember) but i don't wanna think about it either.




Well let me push you over the fence...just kidding 

In all seriousness, abstaining from sex till marraige is one of the best things you could do for your body, soul, emotions, everything.... Apart from what God says about it, in the natural it makes plain sense to wait till your married. Think about it...
When you wait...

you don't have to worry about who else your partner has been with
you don't have to worry about OOW pregnancy and/or birth control
you don't have to worry about STDs
and what *BEST*, you don't have to worry about *HEARTBREAK* which is what typically happens when people have sex outside of marriage.

All together, it's not worth it in the long run. A little bit of pleasure isn't worth giving yourself to someone who doesn't deserve it. What's good about your situation, is you haven't had sex in a while, so it'll be much easier for you to abstain here on out, than a lot of the ladies here who are in relationships that they need to break off.


----------



## sugaplum

Sade said:
			
		

> Well I did. We are all adults and have all read the rules why throw it in people's faces.
> 
> Anyway, back to the topic how is everyone doing? I am on the fence whether I wanna join the challenge or not. I am praying about it and in due time I hope I abstain from sex. I haven't physically had sex in so long ( I can't even remember) but i don't wanna think about it either.



As far as the rules I wasn't throwing it anyone's face.   I apologize if you or anyone else got this from what I posted, by no means did I mean to do this.  From what I read that the mod's posted for the rules of the board it says that this forum was for those who accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and believe in God.  Ayeshia stated that she wasn't a Christian so I'm  I'm not trying to push anyone away from the Truth.... sheesh!! 

I'll pray for you,sista.


----------



## Cinnabuns

Sade said:
			
		

> Anyway, back to the topic how is everyone doing? I am on the fence whether I wanna join the challenge or not. I am praying about it and in due time I hope I abstain from sex. I haven't physically had sex in so long ( I can't even remember) but i don't wanna think about it either.


I will pray that you do join. 

I love your siggy it has one of my favorite Bible scriptures 

It says "I can do all things through Christ" and I believe that with God's help you can apply this to your eveyday life of becoming abstinent.

God Bless You


----------



## EbonyEyes

I'm joining the challenge!

I'll keep you all in my prayers.

-Ebony


----------



## sugaplum

EbonyEyes said:
			
		

> I'm joining the challenge!
> 
> I'll keep you all in my prayers.
> 
> -Ebony



Welcome to the challenge EbonyEyes. 

God Bless you for making this decision.   We love you sista.


----------



## angaliquew

Just wondering how everyone has been doing? 
I will admit I almost slipped up Friday...thought about calling up my ex (old faithful) but I just couldn't do it. Then one of my friends (who's been trying to kick it) called but I didn't even bother to call him back.  I knew it might lead to something at such a vulnerable time, so I just took my butt to bed. I'm so glad I didn't break!


----------



## Poohbear

angaliquew said:
			
		

> Just wondering how everyone has been doing?
> I will admit I almost slipped up Friday...thought about calling up my ex (old faithful) but I just couldn't do it. Then one of my friends (who's been trying to kick it) called but I didn't even bother to call him back. I knew it might lead to something at such a vulnerable time, so I just took my butt to bed. I'm so glad I didn't break!


I almost slipped yesterday too but I took control and remind my boyfriend and I that we should not do this since we are not married.


----------



## Ayeshia

sugaplum said:
			
		

> As far as the rules I wasn't throwing it anyone's face.   I apologize if you or anyone else got this from what I posted, by no means did I mean to do this.  *From what I read that the mod's posted for the rules of the board it says that this forum was for those who accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior and believe in God*.  Ayeshia stated that she wasn't a Christian so I'm  I'm not trying to push anyone away from the Truth.... sheesh!!
> 
> I'll pray for you,sista.


And it should be for those who are still on the fence of whether or not Christianity is for them (yours truly ). 
 We are all adults here so no one regardless of what religion they are needs a reminder of what the rules were unless they were being abrupt, ignorant, and rude ya know? anyway no harm taken. It is okay for you to state what you believe or ask questions without disregarding what others believe right?  If it is still a problem, I will do everyone a favor and not visit or comment in this part of the forum again .  And thanks Sade and everyone else  (including you sugaplums )for being civil  Even though I am not a Christian, I still would like to feel welcomed 

Now back to the subject,

ETA: in this challenge does foreplay count?  (hugging, kissing, etc)


----------



## EbonyEyes

Ayeshia said:
			
		

> ETA: in this challenge does foreplay count?  (hugging, kissing, etc)



For me, I've decided that there will be hugging, holding hands, and kissing on the cheek.  Pecks on the lips might be okay but no french kissing.  I want to avoid things that will tempt me to go further.

-Ebony


----------



## EbonyEyes

Aww Sugaplum!!! I'm in trouble! 

I just re-read your post when you explained the rules and you said no clubbin!  

Oh no!!

I will admit that one of the activities my best friend and I do is go to the club.  Now I'm being honest with myself here....There is inappropriate dancing at the clubs I attend and I do engage in some of that inappropriate dancing.  I know it has to stop but it's going to be so hard! 

Please pray for me!!

I think I'll be fine if I continue to go to the Latin Palace though.  There's salsa dancing (it's so fun!) and it's a family affair (My friend comes with her parents all the time and I'm going to start inviting my parents to come with me).  

Someone mentioned earlier that they would like a chastity buddy.  

Would someone like to be my chastity buddy?

I will be 21 in August and I just finished my junior year in college.

We can chat, pray for each other, encourage one another, and keep each other grounded.

PM me or reply here!

Thanks!!

Ebony


----------



## sugaplum

EbonyEyes said:
			
		

> Aww Sugaplum!!! I'm in trouble!
> 
> I just re-read your post when you explained the rules and you said no clubbin!
> 
> Oh no!!
> 
> I will admit that one of the activities my best friend and I do is go to the club.  Now I'm being honest with myself here....There is inappropriate dancing at the clubs I attend and I do engage in some of that inappropriate dancing.  I know it has to stop but it's going to be so hard!
> 
> Please pray for me!!
> 
> I think I'll be fine if I continue to go to the Latin Palace though.  There's salsa dancing (it's so fun!) and it's a family affair (My friend comes with her parents all the time and I'm going to start inviting my parents to come with me).
> 
> Someone mentioned earlier that they would like a chastity buddy.
> 
> Would someone like to be my chastity buddy?
> 
> I will be 21 in August and I just finished my junior year in college.
> 
> We can chat, pray for each other, encourage one another, and keep each other grounded.
> 
> PM me or reply here!
> 
> Thanks!!
> 
> Ebony



I'll pm you.


----------



## Poohbear

Ayeshia said:
			
		

> ETA: in this challenge does foreplay count? (hugging, kissing, etc)


for me and my boyfriend, we decided to cut out intimate kissing, hugging, touching, being naked, and even sexual thoughts/talking because we felt like even though there's no sexual intercourse involved, it's still wrong.  It's still sexual immorality. It's all about having a pure mind and heart as well when it comes to abstaining from sex in a relationship.  JMO.


----------



## beverly

My opinion is that the salsa place is fine too. I do still plan to go and take salsa lessons and to salsa in general. I have cut out the regular club, except if somebody just begs me to go, because for me its nobody in there really doing anything but trying to hook up. Salsa is more of a cultural experience in my opinion. You aren't sinning if you go to a club, but you should always be careful to what kinds of things and people you expose yourself too because anything negative can influence you to participate in it. I dont like to be around people, drinking, smoking, and looking at my body, its just not what I am about that is why I don't really club anymore..


----------



## sugaplum

How are all you ladies doing? I've been praying for you all.


----------



## mahogany

sugaplum said:
			
		

> How are all you ladies doing? I've been praying for you all.



I'm still going strong   I used to have some very vivid dreams, but I have been praying about it and they have subsided, PRAISE GOD!.


----------



## sugaplum

mahogany said:
			
		

> I'm still going strong   I used to have some very vivid dreams, but I having being praying about it and they have subsided, PRAISE GOD!.




PRAISE GOD you are doing ok and that you overcame the enemy. 

Oh yeah I know all about those!!   I did the same thing you did and just prayed that God interviens into my dream.  It works every single time.


----------



## BMoreFlyy

I must join you all now.... I've celibate now.... have been for many years... just now I've come across some temptation.   And I just need the support to try to free my mind of the thoughts I am having.


----------



## sugaplum

MsCrystal said:
			
		

> I must join you all now.... I've celibate now.... have been for many years... just now I've come across some temptation.   And I just need the support to try to free my mind of the thoughts I am having.



Alright MsCrystal!!   I'm glad that you've decided to join us.  I like your avatar as well.

How have all you ladies been?  I was tempted late last night, but you know what I did, I just said "Lord deliver me from temptation."  And it was like I was smacked right in the back of the head.   Praise God.


----------



## tuffCOOKiE

HELP. HEEEEELP. I'm going through withdrawl.  I havent slept with my (non) lover in two months.  I have been celibate for longer but right now has been really really hard.  I woke up this morning thinking about himm..


----------



## LDebagoria

Alright everyone, I've dropped out. A year has passed with my boyfriend and I, and we decided that the time was right for us. I'm definitely glad that we waited, and it was definitely worth the wait, since we've had both the awful and excellent times together, we're a lot closer now than ever. 

Best wishes to all of you!


----------



## diamoness

Count me in !!!!
I've been tryin to fight off those fornication demons for a while.  I'm just so weak sometimes.  Lord give me strength!!!!.....Please!!!
Ladies i'mma need your help BIG TIME on this one!!!


----------



## phynestone

It's so hard! AHHHH!!!!! I'm really trying, but my ex is super persistent.


----------



## BLESSED1

I'm out too, but I did learn somethings about myself while on the challenge. Good luck to you all, I'm still praying for everyone


----------



## JuJuBoo

Good grief, ladies don't be so quick to drop out. Pleasing God is INFINITELY more beneficial than pleasing your dude. 

Sexing a guy that's not your husband leads to heartache...I've seen it TIME and TIME again.  

Man, I'm discouraged.


----------



## BLESSED1

JuJuBoo said:
			
		

> Good grief, ladies don't be so quick to drop out. Pleasing God is INFINITELY more beneficial than pleasing your dude.
> 
> Sexing a guy that's not your husband leads to heartache...I've seen it TIME and TIME again.
> 
> Man, I'm discouraged.



You shouldn't be discouraged if you and all of the others on the challenge are still doing well   Once again I'm still praying for you ladies


----------



## BabeinChrist

Hi all,

I'm new to the site as well as this particular discussion.  I've been working hard at my relationship with God and recently joined church last year.  I am joining the challenge and am working with my Pastor's mother and father on marriage and relationship issues right now. In fact, we had a marriage class for the young adults at my church during Vacation Bible School this past week.  I currently don't have any romantic interests and haven't had much sexual experience either (I'm 28) so it shouldn't be too difficult for me. But boy am I learning about what God's design and plan for marriage is and it's really interesting and exciting!


----------



## sugaplum

BabeinChrist said:
			
		

> Hi all,
> 
> I'm new to the site as well as this particular discussion.  I've been working hard at my relationship with God and recently joined church last year.  I am joining the challenge and am working with my Pastor's mother and father on marriage and relationship issues right now. In fact, we had a marriage class for the young adults at my church during Vacation Bible School this past week.  I currently don't have any romantic interests and haven't had much sexual experience either (I'm 28) so it shouldn't be too difficult for me. But boy am I learning about what God's design and plan for marriage is and it's really interesting and exciting!



ALRIGHT  BabeinChrist!! Welcome and I'm happy that you have joined this challenge. 

Please feel free if you need any help in your challenge, to pm me.  

God Bless you my sista.


----------



## Ms Red

I'm still in it and I pray for strength all the time. Good luck to the rest of you ladies and stay in the Word!


----------



## sugaplum

cupcake said:
			
		

> I'm still in it and I pray for strength all the time. Good luck to the rest of you ladies and stay in the Word!



God bless you and thank you cupcake. 

I too will keep you in my prayers.


----------



## czyfaith77

JuJuBoo said:
			
		

> Sex is a beautiful thing (I'm told  ), so don't feel wrong for saying you enjoy it. I'd be worried if you weren't, and still having sex with your SO.
> 
> Having that said, the question is what's more important to you? Your relationship with your SO? Or your relationship with God?
> 
> The last thing you need to worry about is how no sex is going to impact your relationship, cause the truth is--if this dude dumps you because you want to pursue a closer relationship with God, than he's not worth your time.
> 
> I hope I'm not too blunt. I'm blunt because i've seen friend after friend and friend choose the rather (the boyfriend) and regret it.


 
Sho'nuff!!!!!

P.S.  Have been celibate for some yearsssssssssssssssssssssssss!


----------



## czyfaith77

Hi Ladies, I hope that everyone is enjoying the holiday weekend. I rested and it was good!  But also, I got the  opportunity to get out a little today.  I picked up a book.  I actually saw the book twice today.  The first time I saw it was at Barnes and Nobles and they only had one.  It was a little pricey there.  So somehow I ended up at a used book store that I frequent from time to time.  I went there looking for a book to get ready for my Praxis test. How about the book was there and was only for three dollars!  Mind you, being that it is a used book store you never know what is going to be there on a daily basis. So I bought it. (Never did find the Praxis book)  The book was so good I read it in one setting.  I read all 250 pages  .  I can devour a book!  Anyhow, I say all of this because the book is suitable for this discussion and I hope that if you haven't read it that many of you pick it up or check it out from the library. It is called "A Lova Like No Otha" by Stephanie Perry Moore. It is a Christian fictional read.  I read a couple of her books before.  Another one is called "Flame" both are good and deal with similiar issues.

Here is the book's synopsis:

Zoe Clarke has a strong prayer life, a good job, loyal friends....and she was going to marry he college sweetheart and make a lifelong commitment to marriage and family.  Then, minutes before the wedding, her fiance dumps her for his pregnant girlfriend-and little by little, Zoe discovers that everything else she thought was solid isn't what it seems.  With her faith shaken and her life in turmoil, Zoe finds unexpected help from Chase Farr, a mighty man of God and her fiance's former best man.  But the sudden attraction between them confuses her and proves hard to resist.  As Zoe struggles to find her way, she discovers that the ultimate love is from the One who loved her first.

Good read ladies.  It also had a special reading group guide for discussions. The questions in the guide really get you thinking and causes the reader to be reflective.


----------



## shalom

Ladies count me in.  I have a lot of repenting to do when I get home.  Although, I haven't done anything physically, my mind has been busy.  I ran into someone I went to school with recently and just became attracted to him...........no words have passed nor phone numbers exchanged, but I have ******him every way possible in my mind.  In fact, just last night I was praying to God asking him to help me rid my mind of these thoughts, maybe this is his way of offering me help, this makes me focus more on him his purpose than on me and my needs.  Thanks ladies for the challenge.

To the ladies who don't feel like they can be virgins again, medically speaking you can, but this will take some time.  The process is when a women has sex her hymen is broken this is how Dr's tell whether or not you have engaged in sexual activity once you have been examined. If you abstained from sex for a year or more usually the hymen will repairs itself and it will stay attached as long as you remain sexually inactive.


----------



## sugaplum

shalom said:
			
		

> Ladies count me in.  I have a lot of repenting to do when I get home.  Although, I haven't done anything physically, my mind has been busy.  I ran into someone I went to school with recently and just became attracted to him...........no words have passed nor phone numbers exchanged, but I have ******him every way possible in my mind.  In fact, just last night I was praying to God asking him to help me rid my mind of these thoughts, maybe this is his way of offering me help, this makes me focus more on him his purpose than on me and my needs.  Thanks ladies for the challenge.
> 
> To the ladies who don't feel like they can be virgins again, medically speaking you can, but this will take some time.  The process is when a women has sex her hymen is broken this is how Dr's tell whether or not you have engaged in sexual activity once you have been examined. If you abstained from sex for a year or more usually the hymen will repairs itself and it will stay attached as long as you remain sexually inactive.



ALRIGHT, God bless you for joining this challenge.   I will keep you in my prayers. 

 So in other words if you haven't had sex in over a year or more you can become a virgin all over again? WOW!!   I never knew this. Thanks for the info. 

I had this very same exact struggle in my mind. I would dream about it and everything.  Even when I'm trying to stay focused at work or even when I'm praying the enemy attacks my mind with these thoughts.   I just ask God to intervien in my dreams and my daily activities. Boy, when I was in the world, (partying ., doing what i wanted, fornicating, etc.) :blondboob  I was never attacked by the enemy.

crzyfaith77-I will have to look out for that author and her books.  It sounds like her books are very inspirational.


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## fivefoursweetie

Hi, Im new to the site and this post.  I am in on the challenge. I struggle with remaining celibate.  Please keep me in your prayers, because I would like to complete this challenge.  There were lots of great suggestions that I hope will help me while dating to refrain from sexual activities.  Thank you and God bless.  Also, is anyone on this post from the Chicago area, cause I just moved here, and it would be nice to hook up with a sister in christ out here.


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## shunemite

Hi ladies, and God bless you all! I'm new to this forum and SO exctied to join this challenge. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am 26, and glory be to God, am still a virgin. I grew up in a home where I was encouraged to wait until marriage and most of my friends believe the same way I do. My parents were both virgins on their wedding night, and when my brother married his wife at age 25, they were both virgins too. They have continued to encourage me to reap the benefits of staying faithful to God and my body.

I have, however, in past relationships, engaged in heavy petting that should not have gone on. I almost lost my virginity to my ex last year (emphasis on EX) when he tried to trick me into sleeping with him. I did have partial blame though, I shouldn't have let anything start to begin with!

My future goal is to have a godly relationship and not engage in immoral behavior. God bless you again.


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## sugaplum

fivefoursweetie said:
			
		

> Hi, Im new to the site and this post.  I am in on the challenge. I struggle with remaining celibate.  Please keep me in your prayers, because I would like to complete this challenge.  There were lots of great suggestions that I hope will help me while dating to refrain from sexual activities.  Thank you and God bless.  Also, is anyone on this post from the Chicago area, cause I just moved here, and it would be nice to hook up with a sister in christ out here.



Alright.  Welcome to the forum and the challenge.  
I don't live in Chicago, but I'll be your sista in Christ.  
God Bless you for taking this step.


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## sugaplum

shunemite said:
			
		

> Hi ladies, and God bless you all! I'm new to this forum and SO exctied to join this challenge. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am 26, and glory be to God, am still a virgin. I grew up in a home where I was encouraged to wait until marriage and most of my friends believe the same way I do. My parents were both virgins on their wedding night, and when my brother married his wife at age 25, they were both virgins too. They have continued to encourage me to reap the benefits of staying faithful to God and my body.
> 
> I have, however, in past relationships, engaged in heavy petting that should not have gone on. I almost lost my virginity to my ex last year (emphasis on EX) when he tried to trick me into sleeping with him. I did have partial blame though, I shouldn't have let anything start to begin with!
> 
> My future goal is to have a godly relationship and not engage in immoral behavior. God bless you again.



WOO-HOO!!    Amen and God bless you for taking this challenge. 

Welcome to the forum and the challenge.  

You are in good company with the sistas in Christ of this forum. 

WOW, and what a blessing you are still a virgin at the age of 25. This is wonderfull.  Your story is very inspiring to me and to all the youth.  God bless you in your walk sista.  And please to you and all the ladies, feel free to pm me.  

God bless.


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## DDHair

Really Supergirl?!  8 1/2 years!  As beautiful as you are I am surprised some man has not snatched you up by now.  Well I to the vow last October, but it really did not become what it needed to be for me until January, so I have been absitinent for 7 months now and I love it!  I really don't have any complaints I am more focused on God and what He is calling me to do.  I have not been everything I need to be, but I have abstained from intercourse and the late night dates okay.  Just pray for me to hold up as I pray for you guys.  I don't really have the urge at all now, but then again I don't have anyone in my life and until he is my hubby and I know he is what God wants for me, then it ain't going down!


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## DDHair

Shunemite, that is wonderful.  Man, I wish my family and friends would have encouraged that more, I would have loved to been a virgin right now at 26, you don't know how much it means until you don't have it.  I help teach abstinence classes at my church and I encourage all the youth to wait, God I would do anything to have my virginity back, so I am proud of you and all the virgins on this site and those who are practicing abstinence.


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## RabiaElaine

Hello my Sisters in Christ!

I am going to be joining this challenge too.  So here's a little of my story.  I am not a virgin and have a problem letting go of the guilt.  I lost my virginity at 17 to a guy who I still love to this day despite the fact that we both have dated other people since then.  I've been in lust or love with him since I was 13.  I am now 23.  I want to remove sexual sins of all kinds from my life.  I want to think and see things clearly w/o having these sins in the mix.  I would like to marry this man but it always seems like a huge struggle for us to get together.  

I think it's because sexual sins have always been a part of our non relationship relationship.  We were best friends at one point until he went to college.  Anyway he has an ex that he was dating for a year that is supposed to be moving to close to where we live.  Things are still unresolved between them.  I don't want to get in the way if they are supposed to be together.  Which is another good reason for me to abstain.

A good friend of ours saw us hanging out together this weekend and approached me to ask me why weren't together YET.  She knows the whole history behind our 'drama'.  She's a Christian who is really turning her life around and working earnestly on her relationship with the Lord.  During our conversation (and I explained to her about his ex) she kept telling me "I keep getting this feeling that you two are supposed to be together, that God wants you two together."  She admonished me to stop sleeping with him and that if I continued to sleep with him I was further complicating the matter and that could be a major factor in it not working out with us.  She says she's going to pray for me and wants me to do the same and ask God for clarity and to show me a sign.

Anyway abstaining is going to be a challenge for me, especially when it comes to him.  It's twisted, but I don't know when I started to think that performing the deed would help to deepen my relationship with men.  I really want to get out of this habit of thinking.  Now looking at my relationship or lack there of with the guy I am talking about, sexual acts is a large part of our relationship and it should not be.  We should be able to talk and interact more.

I know a large part of being successful in abstaining from sex will lie with me.  I need to make sure that I dress in a christ like manner at ALL times.  I don't want to tempt him or anyone else for that matter by dressing in a manner that might seem ok to me but that ends up turning men on.  After reading through this entire thread I realize that I need to also remove myself from certain situations such as late night dates, maybe even phone conversations, sleeping in the same room as him even if he sleeps on the floor ( I know y'all what was I thinking ).  It is also probably a good idea for me to take some time before being completely alone with him (such as being in his house alone).


Anyway I'm sorry this is so long...but I really need your prayers, encouragement, and advice.  I really need to get past the guilt, with God's help.


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## RabiaElaine

Update!!!

-Yesterday my cousin's best friend was supposed to come over to my house to get his hair braided.  I have always been attracted to him, but purely on a physical level.  Anyway one day a few months ago I slipped up and slept with him one time.  Anyway since then he's been hinting to me that we should do it again.

So yesterday was my first obstacle since I started this challenge.  He was supposed to come to my house at about 8pm after he finished his b-ball game.  Anyway he didn't end up calling me until something to 10.  By that time it would be too late for him to be coming over, and I would only be asking for trouble.  Anyway during the conversation he kept hinting at the 2 of us having sex.  I eventually told him that it wasn't going to happen.  He asked if I had my period  (ha, why do guys always think that is the only reason we don't want to have sex??!!).   Anyway I told him no.  He then asked if it was because I got some already.  I told him no, and that it was because I simply don't want to have sex anymore, that it wasn't right.  He sounded a little hurt (probably his ego) but was very nice about it and said that he won't put me in anymore situations where I might feel weak.

Guess what girls I feel a little bad for disappointing him!!!!!!!!!  What is wrong with me???  I shouldn't feel like this!  He isn't even my first love that I was talking about in my first post when I joined the challenge!!  I'm mad at myself for feeling bad for him, like I let him down.  I mean don't get me wrong I'm glad I was able to stand up and tell him, because trust me if you saw him ladies you would see why he's such a temptation (Why did God have to make Black men so irresistable?)!!  Anyway I just wish I didn't feel like this.  I'm am praying that I can start rejoicing in the fact that I stuck with my conviction.

Anyway I'm really scared now ladies.  I am scared of how I'm going to feel when I tell my first love the same thing.  I don't want to care how he is going to react, but I can tell I'm going to.  I don't think he's going to react badly, but I'm scared of how I'm going to feel if he does.

Have any of you had the same fears, when you decided to follow God's word and abstain?

Please continue to pray for me, I'm praying for you.


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## RabiaElaine

Hi Ladies,

I hope everyone had a blessed weekend.

So I thought I would update everyone.  On Friday evening I decided to call my first love who I've been talking about throughout these posts.  Let's call him Dave.  Anyway so I called him to see if he wanted to hang out a little and so I could play with his dog (who I love to death).  He said sure and hoped that I wanted to hang out with him more than his dog.  Anyway so I went to his house and spent time with him and his family for like 2 hours.  I wanted to talk to him about my decision to abstain but it just didn't feel like the right time.

Anyway I saw him again on Saturday.  Saturday night a bunch of our friends were hanging out together.  Anyway during the course of the evening we ended up alone in one area of the house.  It felt like the appropriate time to talk.  So I prayed to God to give me the words.  I believe He did.  The conversation went something like this....

"Dave I don't want to have sex anymore"

Dave says, "Ok."

I say, "Do you want to know why?"

He says "Why?"

I say, "Because it's clouding my judgement when it comes to you.  I want to know that our friendship isn't based on that.  Also I don't want to be in the middle when your ex girlfriend comes back.  Most importantly I am trying to live my life in accordance with God and it's not right"

He says, "Well I can understand that.  As for my ex she and I aren't on speaking terms right now.  I told her that we really need to be apart.  Our last conversation ended with her crying.  I realize that I don't really love myself.  So how can I love anyone else."

Anyway there was more to the conversation than that.  He was really discouraged about church and maybe even a little with God.  So I tried to encourage him as best I could.  Anyway in general the conversation went well.  I don't think he's upset at me.  He acted the same way with me for the rest of the weekend.  

Anyway he really needs encouragement and support.  Please pray for him ladies.  I have also been asking God to take away my appetite for physical contact with him.  I am also praying for God to take away my emotional appetite for Dave if he is not the person who God has planned for me.  I also pray for descernment to know when God is actually talking to me.

I am very thankful that God gave me the strength and the words to have this conversation with Dave.  

Praise God!!! I'll keep you updated.


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## RabiaElaine

Hi Ladies,

My church has weekly lessons that we study. This week's study is "Lord of Our Body Temples." I thought I would post it here for encouragement. I will also add it as a seperate thread for others that might not read this one.

LESSON 9*_August 20 - 26_Lord _of _Our 
Body Temples
	

	
	
		
		

		
			






*SABBATH AFTERNOON*


*Read for This Week's Study:* _John 1:1-4; 1 Cor 6:19, 20; 10:31, Gal. 3:13; Col. 1:16, 17; 1 Pet. 1:18, 19._

*Memory Text: **"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body" **(1 Corinthians 6:19, 20, NIV).*

*Key Thought:* *Our bodies are not disposable containers we can use and abuse according to our own desires. As trophies of God's grace, redeemed by the precious blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, we should honor God with our bodies. The question is, How do we do that?* You are the temple of the living God. When the apostle Paul first mentioned the word temple to the inhabitants of Corinth, they did not think of their own bodies; rather, they thought of the temple of Aphrodite, a place where worshipers engaged in sexual immorality with temple prostitutes. That's probably why in his letters to the Corinthians Paul goes to great lengths to reeducate the new believers concerning the temple where God dwells, which is in the hearts of those who accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. Paul declares, "You are the temple of the living God" _(2 Cor. 6:16, NKJV), _and "Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit" _(1 Cor. 6:19, NKJV). _Thus, the most compelling reason to care for our bodies is not simply that we might extend our lifespan or enjoy better health now, but because we choose to honor God with our bodies, which are His gifts to us. 





*Study this week's lesson to prepare for Sabbath, August 27. SUNDAY_August 21_


*All Things Were Made by Him *_(John 1:1-3)._ 

The New Testament writers boldly proclaim that the Lord Jesus Christ is not only the Messiah, the Son of the Highest, but He is also the Creator of the world. Thousands of years before the Son of God entered into humanity in the person of Jesus of Nazareth, He spoke the world into existence. 

*What **three claims about the Word who became flesh does the apostle John make at the beginning of his Gospel record? *


_John 1:1, 2 __John 1:3_ _John 1:4_ 

The apostle Paul also emphasizes the supremacy of Jesus Christ, Son of God, as the Creator of all things, and the One from whom we have even our life. Speaking of the Lord Jesus Christ, the image of the invisible God, Paul writes, "For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together" _(Col. 1:16, 17, NIV)._ 

*Compare **John 1:1-4 with Colossians 1:16, 17. How do they complement each other? What's the key message of both? *

 



During His earthly ministry, the Lord Jesus Christ never explicitly claimed to be the Creator of all things. However, as we study His life and teachings, we find many evidences that point to His creative power. For example, when Jesus calmed the storm on the sea of Galilee, the astonished disciples exclaimed, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him!" _(See Mark 4:41, NIV.)_ *With the few texts we read for today as background, read Genesis 2:7, the account of God making humanity. Notice the closeness, the intimacy, of the act, in contrast to how everything else in the Genesis account was made. What does that tell us about the basic meaning of our own personal existence, about who we are, about why we are here? What radically different conclusions can we draw about the meaning of our lives in contrast to those who believe we are products of pure chance, nothing more? (See also Gen. 1:26, 27.) *


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## RabiaElaine

MONDAY_August 22_



*Redeemed* 

In yesterday's study, we saw that the Bible very clearly reveals Jesus Christ as the Creator, the One who created all things, the One who spoke the world into existence, and the One who in a very intimate act breathed "the breath of life" into the first human being. Thus, we are not our own, in that we somehow created ourselves or put ourselves here out of our own volition, and, therefore, have an absolute claim over ourselves. On the contrary. As the objects of His specific act of creation, we belong to God, _whose claim over us is greater than our claim over ourselves._ 

*Read **the last sentence of the above paragraph, specifically the italicized section. What are the implications of that thought? How should it impact how we live and the kind of decisions we make? When was the last time you made a decision based on the premise of that sentence? * 

 





We might belong to God because He is our Creator, but, according to the Bible, that's not His only claim over us. 

*Read **the following texts. What are they saying, and how do they help us understand the Lord's claims over us?* _Acts 20:28; Gal. 3:13; 4:4, 5; Col. 1:14, Heb. 9:12; 1 Pet. 1:18, 19._ 

 





In the Bible, the idea of being redeemed is to be ransomed, to be bought back, to be recovered, to be rescued, or to be set free. Through Jesus our Redeemer, all these things have happened to us, which means His claims over us are even greater than before, for now we are His, by both creation and redemption. And redemption might even be a greater claim, because simply being created doesn't necessarily mean something good. After all, some people might curse their own existence and wish they had never been born. In contrast, as the One who redeemed us in an act that promises us a new existence in a world without sin or suffering, Christ has done something wonderful for us that nothing can diminish or destroy _(see Dan. 2:44)._ *Write out a prayer thanking God for what He has done for you as your Creator and Redeemer. How, then, do you want to respond to Him because of what He has done? What obligations do you feel toward God, and what motivates you to fulfill those obligations? * 



TUESDAY_August 23_



*The Temple of the Holy Spirit *_(1 Cor. 6:19, 20)._ 

In his first epistle to the Christians in Corinth, the apostle Paul emphasized the importance of honoring God with our bodies. The Corinthian believers were facing some intense challenges. They lived in a city where sexual immorality was not only prevalent, it was encouraged. Satan was marring the image of God in unbelievers and believers alike. Promiscuity was not only plaguing the culture, it was permeating the church. 

*In **Paul's discussion of the damaging effects of sexual immorality, what two reasons does he give for honoring God with our bodies?* _1 Cor 6:19, 20. _ 

 





*Summarize **in a few lines what you believe Paul is telling us with these two verses. How should these truths impact our lives in a practical, daily way?* 

 





As followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, we cannot use and abuse our bodies with careless indifference. Too often, people say, "This is my life, and I can do what I want with it." The Word of God challenges that self-centered philosophy. When Christians engage in harmful activity, they damage themselves personally and dishonor God publicly. 

*What **are some other harmful activities that are inappropriate for those whose bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit?* _See Deut. 21:20; Prov. 20:1, 25; 1 Cor 10:31. _ 

 



Honoring God with our bodies involves more than refraining from sexual immorality. Once we recognize that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus, this realization will affect every aspect of our lives. We will not only seek to avoid defiling our body temple with any substance or activity that is harmful or inappropriate. We will also actively seek to care for our body temple and involve ourselves in activities that honor God. *"What matters for the Christian is only the spiritual, not the physical." How would you, from a biblical perspective, respond to this claim? How do you understand the strong link between the physical and the spiritual dimensions of humanity?*


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## RabiaElaine

WEDNESDAY_August 24_



*Do All to the Glory of God  *_(1 Cor 10:31)._ 

Having appealed to the believers in Corinth to avoid defiling their body temples through sexual immorality, the apostle Paul shares a principle that can guide every aspect of life: "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" _(1 Cor 10:31, NIV)._ The Greek noun translated "glory" is the same word used as a verb in 1 Corinthians 6:19: "Honor God with your body." The correlation between these two passages is clear. Because your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, everything you do, including what you eat and what you drink, should be done to the honor of God. 

*How **possibly does one "honor God" with one's body, or how does one eat and drink "to the glory of God"? What does that mean? How do these above texts show us that God does care about what we eat and drink? Why would He care?  **

* 



We are physical beings. In the new heaven and the new earth, we will still be physical beings _(see Rev. 21:4, 14)._ The idea that we are temples serves to prove even more so how sacred, and important, the physical aspect of our being is. No wonder, then, we are admonished to take care of ourselves, to use our bodies in ways that glorify the One who made them. Any kind of physical indulgence, any kind of bodily sin, any kind of abuse of our body simply defiles what God has created and given us. 



Also, if God loves and cares about us, then it should be no surprise that He wants us to take care of our bodies, which can be a source of much joy or so much suffering, often depending upon how we ourselves take care of them. 

*What **do the following texts say about God's attitude regarding our physical well-being?* _Exod. 15:26, Jer 30:17, Mark 5:25-34, 3 John 1:2. _* 

* 



*Read these words of Ellen White: "Since the laws of nature are the laws of God, it is plainly our duty to give these laws careful study. We should study their requirements in regard to our own bodies and conform to them.'—Testimonies for the Church, vol.6, p. 369. What is she telling us here? How do these words reflect the principle Paul gave us in 1 Corinthians 10:31?  *





THURSDAY_August 25_



*Shalom!* 

Many people have heard of the Hebrew word _shalom,_ understood as "peace." It is sometimes used as an informal greeting among Jews today. 

*What **do you think of when you think of the word peace? In what different ways do you use that word in your language? What does it mean to you?  *

 





The word _shalom_ itself has a very rich and deep meaning in the Old Testament, where it appears in one form or another hundreds of times. It carries within it the idea of completeness, good welfare, wholeness, soundness, well-being, inner harmony, and health. The word itself incorporates every aspect of life, including the physical, mental, and the spiritual, whether individually, collectively, or nationally. 

For example, in one of the earliest uses of the word, Jacob inquires about the well-being _(shalom)_ of Laban _(see Gen. 29:6)._ The word translated "well" both times in the text is _shalom._ In contrast, in Jeremiah 29:7, Jeremiah tells the Jews in captivity to pray for the shalom "of the city whither I have caused you to be carried away," because, the Lord says, in the _shalom _of the city will be the shalom of the Hebrew captives. 

*Look **up the following texts where shalom, in one form or another, appears. How does its use help us understand the meaning of the word in regard to our total health and spiritual well-being? *_Gen. 43:28, Ps. 38:3 _*(the word translated "rest" in my bones is shalom), *_119:165, Prov. 3:2, Isa. 48:22, Jer 33:6._ 

 



The Bible calls Jesus, _Sar-Shalom,_ "the prince of peace," which makes sense because, in Him, through faith in Him, through obedience to His law, both moral and physical, we can find "shalom," wholeness, completeness, and well-being in our lives. *As Adventists, we have been greatly blessed with a health message. How seriously do you take the light we have been given on health? What changes might you need to make to have more "shalom" in your own life?* 

​


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## RabiaElaine

FRIDAY_August 26_



*Further Study:*    The message of health reform, honoring God with our bodies, has always been important for Seventh-day Adventist Christians. God provided much guidance on the topic of health reform through the ministry of Ellen White. It is our privilege to share this message of honoring God with our bodies with the world. "It is impossible to work for the salvation of men and women without presenting to them the need of breaking away from sinful gratifications, which destroy the health, debase the soul, and prevent divine truth from impressing the mind.. . . Let the poor have the gospel of health preached unto them from a practical point of view, that they may know how to care properly for the body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit."—Ellen G. White, _Testimonies for the Church,_ vol. 7, p. 137. See also _Education, _pp. 99, 100; _Health Reformer,_ October 1866; _Christ's Object Lessons,_ pp. 347, 348; _Counsels on Diet and Foods, _p. 17.  



*Discussion Questions:* *





 Since we are saved by God's grace through faith and not by our own works, why does it really matter how we care for our body temples? 

 *

*





 In what ways, if any, can you see a link between holiness and healthful living? Is that idea found anywhere in Scripture? **

*

*





 As a class, talk about what you might be able to do to help your own church members be more conscious regarding the need to take care of their bodies.  *





*What dangers do we face in emphasizing the importance of health and its link to faith and spirituality so that we don't make those who are sick feel as if they were somehow facing the judgment of God?  *





*What role do dress and adornment have in the question of our body temples? What does Scripture say about this topic?  *


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## beyondcute

Hi I want to join this challenge but I need help. Ive been in a relationship for 4 years. He is my 2nd partner ever. We are engaged but I want to stop having sex until we get married. Ive expressed my feelings to him but its kinda hard seeing as we live together.... Weve been living together for about 3 years now. We were supposed to get married already but I post-poned becaues I want to finish school first (another 6 years... Im a sophomore in college) I truly belive he is supposed to be my husband. We were friends for about 2 years before we even became boyfriend and girlfriend. I dont think he would leave me if I just told him no, but somehow I feel wrong for telling him no when he wants it and I do too... Please help...


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## rai

beyondcute said:
			
		

> Hi I want to join this challenge but I need help. Ive been in a relationship for 4 years. He is my 2nd partner ever. We are engaged but I want to stop having sex until we get married. Ive expressed my feelings to him but its kinda hard seeing as we live together.... Weve been living together for about 3 years now. We were supposed to get married already but I post-poned becaues I want to finish school first (another 6 years... Im a sophomore in college) I truly belive he is supposed to be my husband. We were friends for about 2 years before we even became boyfriend and girlfriend. I dont think he would leave me if I just told him no, but somehow I feel wrong for telling him no when he wants it and I do too... Please help...



Beyond cute,

Yeah, that is a sticky situation and in a way I was in a situation similar to you. I got married in July 05 and I've been dating my husband since I was 16 (so that's 9 years). I was a virgin when I met him and I seriously intended to stay a virgin until I was married. Well, that didn't happen and after 2 years of dating we made love. Now, I will admit that I felt guilty about it (I'm Catholic so I don't know if that explains the guilt  ) but what I would do is talk to him about it. He kept saying that he understood but that it was hard to stop... Anyways, after we got engaged we agreed that we would not make love until after the wedding. We also lived together for 2 years before he proposed so it was hard to abstain but we did it because he knew that I really wanted to. 

What made it work for us was that we were "intimate" in other ways, ex. gently touches, massages, etc. In addition, I think talking about our feelings really helped. He would tell me how he felt frustrated and I would tell him how I felt, but since we made a promise to each other we stuck to it. We decided to abstain partly because we wanted to make our wedding night a little more special.

Now, if this man is truly meant to be your husband than you should talk to him and let him know how you feel. He should not leave you if he loves you. I'm not saying it's easy (ssssh, it took me 7 years to actually commit to it) and I do think it takes a lot of prayer together. Actually, I want to back up because thinking about it, I think that the absence of prayer was one of the reasons why we failed before. Although we used to say we were going to abstain, we didn't really pray on it and ask God to help us stay strong. So we would last for a month or three and that would be it. Considering that you and your fiance have another 6 years to go before you finish school, then I would say that it's going to be extremely hard to stop unless you two are at the same level in this journey (especially since ya'll already started). You need to tell him your feelings, why you want to abstain now and what you hope to get. Then you need to hear his thoughts. Maybe you two can reach a compromise and eventually go all the way.....I'm not gonna front 6 years is a long time to wait so there needs to be a lot of communication and exploration of other ways to be intimate without sex if you want this to work....

Just my humble opinion,
Rai


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## beyondcute

I will give this another try. We've abstained for long periods of time, up to 6 months until I asked him. I get sooo weak sometimes. Im not even sure why I want to wait until after ai finish school. Its just not logical to me.. I guess I think maraige = kids and I know I dont want any, any time soon. But it doesnt necessarily have to happen that way. I think that we can be abstinate. We have before. I understand his feeligns and he understands mines. I think we are on the same level. hats what really makes me love him even more. He respects my thoughts and wishes and he is a gentleman but best of all he is a Christian man. Im gonna take this one day at a time and I know I may stumble but Im gonna put my mind to this. I refuse to let Satan stop me short of my glory! Thanx Rai! You really did help. It really helps to hear from another christian thats been thru the saem thing. It makes it more realistic that I can do it. 
Be Blessed!
Dee


----------



## RabiaElaine

beyondcute said:
			
		

> Hi I want to join this challenge but I need help. Ive been in a relationship for 4 years. He is my 2nd partner ever. We are engaged but I want to stop having sex until we get married. Ive expressed my feelings to him but its kinda hard seeing as we live together.... Weve been living together for about 3 years now. We were supposed to get married already but I post-poned becaues I want to finish school first (another 6 years... Im a sophomore in college) I truly belive he is supposed to be my husband. We were friends for about 2 years before we even became boyfriend and girlfriend. I dont think he would leave me if I just told him no, but somehow I feel wrong for telling him no when he wants it and I do too... Please help...


 
Hi Beyondcute!!!

First I would like to say congratulations on finding the man that you believe God has prepared you for and him for you!  Not everyone is as fortunate as you are, so you are blessed.

Now I hope you don't feel like smacking me for telling you this but, I feel we are all friends here so I'll just say it.

I think you have 2 choices go ahead and get married if this is the man for you even if you are not done with school, if the relationship is more important than school.  You can get yourself on birth control and enjoy the freedom of not having kids with your new husband.

Or (here goes)

Stop living together.  I know if it were me personally I would find it VERY hard to live with my fiance and not have sex or do other intimate things that should be left within the bounds of marriage.  The bible does say to "Shun even the appearance of evil."  If you have to live together, sleep in separate rooms, dress privately, ect.  These things will help to alleviate the temptation a little.  Now I am NO saint, believe me, check out my other posts on when I joined this challenge (very recently), but when I read your posts I really felt impressed to tell you these 2 things.  

Pray to God and ask him for direction on what you should do.  Don't be afraid of losing the relationship, if he is meant to be your spouse he's not going to go anywhere.  Follow God's design for your life and you won't regret it.

I pray that God may bless your relationship and guide you in your decisions.


----------



## rai

RabiaElaine said:
			
		

> I think you have 2 choices go ahead and get married if this is the man for you even if you are not done with school, if the relationship is more important than school.  You can get yourself on birth control and enjoy the freedom of not having kids with your new husband.
> 
> Or (here goes)
> 
> Stop living together.  I know if it were me personally I would find it VERY hard to live with my fiance and not have sex or do other intimate things that should be left within the bounds of marriage.  The bible does say to "Shun even the appearance of evil."  If you have to live together, sleep in separate rooms, dress privately, ect.  These things will help to alleviate the temptation a little.  Now I am NO saint, believe me, check out my other posts on when I joined this challenge (very recently), but when I read your posts I really felt impressed to tell you these 2 things.
> 
> 
> I pray that God may bless your relationship and guide you in your decisions.



Great advice


----------



## beyondcute

No! I dont fele the need to smack you  Thank you! I dont have a problem accepting advice. I was here asking for it. I talked ot him and he is willign ot give it a shot. We already have a 3 bedroom house and I have a rom and so does he and there is a guest room. We usually slepe in my room butNow he will sleep in the guest room. Im trying for a year but he says I shoudl think about it as a 1 day at a time thing. I think he's right. We are also going to go to church with each other every Sunday. Sometimes I go ot a different service and sometimes hes at work so he doesnt go at all but he has a new schedule and I think its good for us to go to church togeher. I do thank you all for your advice. Im on my way.


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## beyondcute

Oh yeah Im gonna proceed with the marriage. Im not setting a date yet but its re-official. I dont know why I didnt want to get married before finishing school. I guess just the thought of havign kids befoer finishing but marraige does not necessarily = kids. DUH! So It official. Im on the challenge!


----------



## recherche

I am going to join the challenge. Actually I have a testimony. I was talking to God, asking Him for strength to say no to fornication and helping me be patient for him to send me my husband. Now I know abstinenece is my weakness. As I was praying, it was if I heard a whisper tell me to surrender all things unclean for me to get my blessing. I did a clean sweep in my house and got rid of adultry items I had. I threw them in the garbage outside my house. I came back in and continued praying. I started to cry and said to the Lord that I surrender my mind body and spirit to him even though I felt unworthy of his forgiveness. I asked him for a sign that he heard me. At this point I had my bible closed. I when I opened it, I read the scripture that the Bible opened to. Actually, I opned the bible and I was sitting near the air conditioner and the page turned. It went to John 8. As I read that entire chapter about the woman caught in adultery and people wanted to stone her. And Jesus responed, John 8:7 "Let him who is without sin amoung you be the first to throw at stone at her.......Jesus looked up to her and said to her, " Woman where are they? No one had condemned you? She said, "No one, Lord" And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you, go, and do not sin again." 

I'm sorry. But after that I'm done. I know that Lord has heard my prayer and I will wait patiently in faith so that I can testify and shout the marveous works the Lord has done for me. Thank you God for hearing my prayer.


----------



## shunemite

saddity1 said:
			
		

> I am going to join the challenge. Actually I have a testimony. I was talking to God, asking Him for strength to say no to fornication and helping me be patient for him to send me my husband. Now I know abstinenece is my weakness. As I was praying, it was if I heard a whisper tell me to surrender all things unclean for me to get my blessing. I did a clean sweep in my house and got rid of adultry items I had. I threw them in the garbage outside my house. I came back in and continued praying. I started to cry and said to the Lord that I surrender my mind body and spirit to him even though I felt unworthy of his forgiveness. I asked him for a sign that he heard me. At this point I had my bible closed. I when I opened it, I read the scripture that the Bible opened to. Actually, I opned the bible and I was sitting near the air conditioner and the page turned. It went to John 8. As I read that entire chapter about the woman caught in adultery and people wanted to stone her. And Jesus responed, John 8:7 "Let him who is without sin amoung you be the first to throw at stone at her.......Jesus looked up to her and said to her, " Woman where are they? No one had condemned you? She said, "No one, Lord" And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you, go, and do not sin again."
> 
> I'm sorry. But after that I'm done. I know that Lord has heard my prayer and I will wait patiently in faith so that I can testify and shout the marveous works the Lord has done for me. Thank you God for hearing my prayer.



What a good testimony, and welcome to our challenge. I also struggle with keeping my mind pure.


----------



## PrissyMiss

Hi Ladies. I'm new to this board and just wanted to say hi. I stumbled across this topic and I have to say that it's very interesting. I am a Christian and believe in God with my whole heart. I've abstained from having sex for almost a year and don't plan to have sex until I find my soulmate. (Trust me I'm really picky, so I'm going to be waitng a while.) Anyway, I noticed that alot of women with boyfriends or potenital boyfriends have all commented on removing themselves from certain activities, such as kissing. I undertsand why you guys have decided to do this, however, I would like to note that it is possible to be intimate without being intimate. It's possible to show affection without having sex. In my view I feel as though it should be practiced before marriage so that there's not a misunderstanding later. 

I do want to commend all of you who have decided to take this challenge and wish the best of luck. For those of you who haven't, christian or not, I recommend the challenge to you also,even if it's not for religious purposes. I am doing it now and I couldn't even begin to tell you how my life has changed.   

Good luck to you all and God Bless.


----------



## NapturalGlory

--------------------------


----------



## bajanplums1

I have been on this challenge since April.  It has been easy. EXCEPT, I am beginning to date again and this is where the challenge will come.  I am seeing someone today that I am really attracted to.  I hope to stay strong, pray for me.


----------



## phynestone

Okay, I fell off a couple of weeks ago, but I'm now back on this. No man in my life so I have to stay focused on this.


----------



## Trinity1

Count me in,although I'm a little late. 

I'll be abstinent one year come January and it will be the longest time I have ever gone without sex since I became sexually active. Am I proud of this? no....Am I ashamed of it?....no.....because it was through the many years of sinning against my body that I came to where I am now.  God knows and judges my heart and my sexual sins along with other sins have been forgotten by God. This is my new beginning.  

During my time of sexual sin,I remember I would meet someone,swear I was falling in love,and within a month of knowing eachother we were having sex. I would feel gratified during sex but then afterwards I would feel this intense pressure about the fact that I just opened the door to sex with this man and now it will be something that is expected from me as though I am this mans wife.  But I'm not his wife!! I found myself having sex,enjoying it,but also feeling obligated to do it since I started it.   But now I am tired of feeling obligated to perform wifely duties when I am not a wife.  

Besides it is my belief that when I meet a man and sex is introduced into the relationship before marriage,it changes a mans focus in the relationship. He gets more comfortable and settled into just being a boyfriend and a lover ,but I believe when you abstain from sex and you're dating someone,it tends to make that man focus on you more as a possible spouse.  He has no choice but to look at the real woman and decide if this is someone he can commit to because sex is not there to confuse things or make the man comfortable causing him to not move forward in the relationship because he's already getting the "benefits".   Dont get me wrong....I know people who have had premarital sex do still get married,ofcourse!!!! but I feel in my own experience that sex before marriage changes the path intended by God for my relationship.


TeeTee


----------



## shunemite

Tee Tee2 said:
			
		

> Count me in,although I'm a little late.
> 
> I'll be abstinent one year come January and it will be the longest time I have ever gone without sex since I became sexually active. Am I proud of this? no....Am I ashamed of it?....no.....because it was through the many years of sinning against my body that I came to where I am now.  God knows and judges my heart and my sexual sins along with other sins have been forgotten by God. This is my new beginning.
> 
> During my time of sexual sin,I remember I would meet someone,swear I was falling in love,and within a month of knowing eachother we were having sex. I would feel gratified during sex but then afterwards I would feel this intense pressure about the fact that I just opened the door to sex with this man and now it will be something that is expected from me as though I am this mans wife.  But I'm not his wife!! I found myself having sex,enjoying it,but also feeling obligated to do it since I started it.   But now I am tired of feeling obligated to perform wifely duties when I am not a wife.
> 
> Besides it is my belief that when I meet a man and sex is introduced into the relationship before marriage,it changes a mans focus in the relationship. He gets more comfortable and settled into just being a boyfriend and a lover ,but I believe when you abstain from sex and you're dating someone,it tends to make that man focus on you more as a possible spouse.  He has no choice but to look at the real woman and decide if this is someone he can commit to because sex is not there to confuse things or make the man comfortable causing him to not move forward in the relationship because he's already getting the "benefits".   Dont get me wrong....I know people who have had premarital sex do still get married,ofcourse!!!! but I feel in my own experience that sex before marriage changes the path intended by God for my relationship.
> 
> 
> TeeTee



Thanks for a good testimony about how bad you can feel afterwards because that is so true. I also think it can be harder to abstain when you have already "been there" so kudos for your courage. Welcome!


----------



## shunemite

bajanplums1 said:
			
		

> I have been on this challenge since April.  It has been easy. EXCEPT, I am beginning to date again and this is where the challenge will come.  I am seeing someone today that I am really attracted to.  I hope to stay strong, pray for me.



I said a prayer for you. I'm not dating anyone right now so it's real easy for me.


----------



## shunemite

19sweetie said:
			
		

> Okay, I fell off a couple of weeks ago, but I'm now back on this. No man in my life so I have to stay focused on this.



We fall down, and we get up. Girl, dust yourself off and try again!


----------



## Trinity1

shunemite said:
			
		

> Thanks for a good testimony about how bad you can feel afterwards because that is so true. I also think it can be harder to abstain when you have already "been there" so kudos for your courage. Welcome!




Thank you Shunemite.  Just speaking from my own experience.  I am learning so much from all the ladies here and appreciate this thread very much.



TeeTee2


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## fivefoursweetie

OK, So ladies I am still going strong with no sex (and no man )
But question...for ladies that have had sex and decided to abstain, can you clue a sista in on how you were able to abstain after already going "there".  Because this has always been my downfall...I'm fine without a man, but when I get one I fall in the sex trap.  Are there any sistas who successfully accomplshed this. 
Sorry if this was already addressed in this thread (I didn't read the whole thread)


----------



## shunemite

fivefoursweetie said:
			
		

> OK, So ladies I am still going strong with no sex (and no man )
> But question...for ladies that have had sex and decided to abstain, can you clue a sista in on how you were able to abstain after already going "there".  Because this has always been my downfall...I'm fine without a man, but when I get one I fall in the sex trap.  Are there any sistas who successfully accomplshed this.
> Sorry if this was already addressed in this thread (I didn't read the whole thread)



I can't help on this _particular_ topic, so bumping for responses. Also, can I add to that, how do you prevent from doing other forbidden activities (like touching)? I have heard that you shouldn't seclude yourselves or be alone in the dark, but I can't seem to get away form that "romantic" setting! Any suggestions would be great.


----------



## sprungonhairboards

fivefoursweetie said:
			
		

> OK, So ladies I am still going strong with no sex (and no man )
> But question...for ladies that have had sex and decided to abstain, can you clue a sista in on how you were able to abstain after already going "there".  Because this has always been my downfall...I'm fine without a man, but when I get one I fall in the sex trap.  Are there any sistas who successfully accomplshed this.
> Sorry if this was already addressed in this thread (I didn't read the whole thread)



PRAY PRAY PRAY for God to strenghten you. Be honest with yourself and really examine WHY you are abstaining. God has an amazing way of helping us through when our heart is sincere. It's been since March for me, I still have the same man (who I was active with for 3yrs prior to my abstinence) and I'm not even tempted anymore. I look at everything so differently now.


----------



## phynestone

Tee Tee2 said:
			
		

> Besides it is my belief that when I meet a man and sex is introduced into the relationship before marriage,it changes a mans focus in the relationship. He gets more comfortable and settled into just being a boyfriend and a lover ,but I believe when you abstain from sex and you're dating someone,it tends to make that man focus on you more as a possible spouse.  He has no choice but to look at the real woman and decide if this is someone he can commit to because sex is not there to confuse things or make the man comfortable causing him to not move forward in the relationship because he's already getting the "benefits".   Dont get me wrong....I know people who have had premarital sex do still get married,ofcourse!!!! but I feel in my own experience that sex before marriage changes the path intended by God for my relationship.
> 
> 
> TeeTee



I agree. I really think this is how my ex felt. He thinks there is just no need to think about commitment, but I guess he'll regret his decision years from now.


----------



## Longing4Length

I'm in as well!


----------



## Cinnabuns

Well so far so good.  It's going on 11 years of abstinance (still waiting on marriage.)

To God be the glory!!!

How is everyone else doing?


----------



## sugaplum

Hello ladies, 

I have to admit that I fell off for a while,   But I'm back now.   Praise God for second chances.  Still not married yet but I have a feeling that it will be coming soon.


----------



## phynestone

I'm doing okay ladies, but my ex is trying to get me to "say goodbye" to him even though I have moved back home. Basically the "goodbye" is just spending a few days w/ him having sex and nothing else. He is so freakin' selfish. I pray for forgiveness b/c I introduced that to him and for his deliverance.


----------



## sugaplum

19sweetie said:
			
		

> I'm doing okay ladies, but my ex is trying to get me to "say goodbye" to him even though I have moved back home. Basically the "goodbye" is just spending a few days w/ him having sex and nothing else. He is so freakin' selfish. I pray for forgiveness b/c I introduced that to him and for his deliverance.



Thank you for sharing your experince with us.   I was in a simular situation.  The only problem was we started having sex in the begining and then I wanted to stop (becuase I got closer to God), and he started trippin' BIG TIME:   I mean if he really loved me he would've understood.   So to make a long story short, I found out who was more important in my life and who was more important to me...GOD


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## MysTori

It looks like it's been a while since anyone has posted anything on here. 

I am accepting the challenge. It's been about a month and a half, but I am going to start my challenge Jan. 1st. My goal is to go all of 2006 abstinent. I'm not going to stop there, but that is the first stepping stone. I am in a relationship with a man, that I live with, who has cheated on me. I was trying to work things out, but I feel that GOD is separating us because neither of us is on the same page. I am trying to get closer to GOD, and he is...doing his own thing. 

I basically told him in a letter today that he needs to leave. We are not working out and that I wish the best for him in love and life. I don't know if he got the letter yet or not, but I expect my life to be changed drastically within the next two weeks. 

It's amazing what I have read and learned in this thread. I read every last post before posting my pledge. I needed encouragement, and I got it. I feel that GOD has lead me to this place of 'hearbreak' because I am with a man I am not married to, and I am hindering my relationship with Him doing so. I am going to use this alone, 'uptime' to study the Word of GOD, get closer to Him, and help others where He needs me. I am at a place where if I never get into another relationship, it won't bother me. Marriage is for some people, not all. Only GOD can decide which group I am in. I know one thing for sure, I'm going to let Him do the picking next time, if there is one.


----------



## mahogany

teressa9 said:
			
		

> It looks like it's been a while since anyone has posted anything on here.
> 
> I am accepting the challenge. It's been about a month and a half, but I am going to start my challenge Jan. 1st. My goal is to go all of 2006 abstinent. I'm not going to stop there, but that is the first stepping stone. I am in a relationship with a man, that I live with, who has cheated on me. I was trying to work things out, but I feel that GOD is separating us because neither of us is on the same page. I am trying to get closer to GOD, and he is...doing his own thing.
> 
> I basically told him in a letter today that he needs to leave. We are not working out and that I wish the best for him in love and life. I don't know if he got the letter yet or not, but I expect my life to be changed drastically within the next two weeks.
> 
> It's amazing what I have read and learned in this thread. I read every last post before posting my pledge. I needed encouragement, and I got it. I feel that GOD has lead me to this place of 'hearbreak' because I am with a man I am not married to, and I am hindering my relationship with Him doing so. I am going to use this alone, 'uptime' to study the Word of GOD, get closer to Him, and help others where He needs me. I am at a place where if I never get into another relationship, it won't bother me. Marriage is for some people, not all. Only GOD can decide which group I am in. I know one thing for sure, I'm going to let Him do the picking next time, if there is one.




Teressa, first of all congratulations on taking this first step.  I am about to comlete my first year of celibacy and it has not been easy. BUT with constant prayer and reading my bible I have stayed encouraged and my view on relationships has changed dramatically. I no longer have the desire to be intimate with someone unless he is my husband. I think when you deprive yourself of an addiction you have fed for so long and let GOD handle it, you find out just how strong you really are as a person. I hope my words help and if you need any advice or scriptures please feel free to PM me or anyone of these ladies on the Christian board. I'm pretty sure they'll be more than happy to help you.


----------



## EbonyEyes

Okay so I kinda sorta fell off.  I didn't have sex BUT I allowed my bf to touch me in ways that gets me aroused.  I'm really starting to think that my bf is a bad influence.  Because I keep telling him to stop and he thinks I'm joking.  I need to pray hard on this one.


----------



## IntelligenceisBeautiful

I joined this challenge but I fell off horribly.  I've asked God for forgiveness and healing from my sexual addiction.  I'm re-joining and pledge to not engage in sex until my wedding night, by the grace of God I will do this.


----------



## locabouthair

im still single and still abstinent. i haven't fallen off, thank God.


----------



## NYCQT16

When this challenge was first presented I was in a relationship contemplating this but couldn't go thru with it n now the relationship is gone 

I've still been doing the do though...it's been about a month since I have but I know when I am around the ex the urge will be so strong...it's so hard to truly give in to the abstinence...but I would like to join...hold myself accountable


----------



## sugaplum

Hello ladies and how are you all doing? 

I'm very happy that all of you ladies are doing well with the challenge.   Like some of you I fell off.  So after reading these last few responses, it has encoraged me to do better.  Which I have.   I've met someone who has his heart set on God first and we are on the journey together.  Praise God.


----------



## BerrySweet

I'm in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## fivefoursweetie

IntelligenceisBeautiful said:
			
		

> I joined this challenge but I fell off horribly.  I've asked God for forgiveness and healing from my sexual addiction.  I'm re-joining and pledge to not engage in sex until my wedding night, by the grace of God I will do this.



Girl, it was an encouragement to read this post.  I'm a very blunt person, so: I love having sex. That has always been my struggle.  When I was sexually active, men would tell me I was a nympho.  I wouldn't classify my desires as an addiction, but it is hard to stay abstinant.  I have been strong again for about 4 months.
Now I am getting scared that I am going to date some guy and possibly get married without having sex, and we aren't sexually compatible.  I have been praying about it though, cause sex is a big thing for me.
Keep holding on girl, cause Lord knows I am trying to!!!


----------



## beyondcute

Yes I fell off. Beyond sad to admit it. Im actually devastated! Im just gonna think of it as one day at a time. But so far Ive made it past 45 days. I started the new year strong and will finish string. Pray for me thru Valentines day ladies. I know thats a weak pot for us ladies sometimes but with prayer nothing is impossible!


----------



## Cinnabuns

Still abstinant and still going strong!  God is so good.


----------



## phynestone

How is everyone hanging on? I'm doing okay.


----------



## Cinnabuns

I'm going great!  Still going strong.


----------



## AngelicRose07

the temptation is killing me. it almost wants me to stay single... but if i do that.... i aint neva gonna get none.


----------



## PrincessDiva

weaveitup said:
			
		

> the temptation is killing me. it almost wants me to stay single... but if i do that.... i aint neva gonna get none.


Maybe Juanita Bynum`s dvd "NO MORE SHEETS" will help you..It can at least explain to you WHY you still feel this temptation..I know it has helped  me tremendously


----------



## brownsugarflyygirl

Okay...I am joining this challenge...I am even going to print out the original challenge and post it on my wall in my room....I am really serious about this.


As JR would say on debut CD "Lord help me to keep my mind because I am weak in the flesh and Im bout to wile out." That being real...and that is my prayer!  Staying faaar away from guys helps me...I dont even front hug guys..only holy hugs!!  A kiss is out of the question...and everything else is unimaginable. Needless to say...I am definitely not dating right now. I might not even hold my husbands hand until the altar..I have learned dont start nothing wont be nothing because everything leads to something. God has truly renewed my mind and I feel confident that I will make it to the altar without anymore mishaps...  

I am becoming that Proverbs 31 women in all areas...this area has just taken me longer...but thank God for deliverance and thank God for sisters in Christ...its rough...even for people who truly have a heart to please God!

Question: Why dont people list this challenge with all the others in their siggy? That way when we see each other on the other boards we could PM encouragement and check in...just a thought.


----------



## VirtuousGal

I feel you guys. Its so easy to fall into sin if your not on your P's and Q's so lets women up by supporting each other and not letting Satan get the victory by having us use are natural desires to turn against the Lord's will that he intended those  desires in the first place. It's been very difficult, thank god I still have my V-card but its not something easy to maintain and I have found myself in situations where I was like , "two more seconds" and I would've lost it.
             I suggest that we all pray for each other and the young women of today, because look at the world we live in. Its crazy how much our precise gems depreciate their true value by having a big "for sale" sign on their sexuality. The messages of today regarding sex make it difficult for men and woman, whether Christians or not, know there roles and have a successful relationship. Sex is used as a tool of bargaining, gratification or compensation and  becomes a completely selfish act, and thats not what I want or am looking forward to. Im very happy about this thread and find it important that we lift up ourselves and all the generations (as sexual immorality doesnt age discriminate) and have our leaders in the christian community speak openly and honestly about this subject, because glazing over the taboo but fact of life subject is SO not cutting it.  
          If the kids are virgins, make a supportive system to maintain that status, if not, help those to understand why it is wrong and to take steps to making a conscience decision to honor their body. Life is too short, messed up households and families stemming from sexual mistakes are far too prominent and we have to value our selves and more importantly, Jesus to make constructive moves in our lives.


----------



## fivefoursweetie

I have been abstinant for about 8 months now.  i would emplore each of you to go on this website www.singlespleasingthelord.com She is a powerful woman of God who has been a vessel used of God to help me manage my desire for pre-marital sex.  I thought I would never be able to say this!!! She has wonderful teaching tapes and CDs that may help you!!! Be blessed.
Oh, and June in Purity Month if you didn't know!!!!!


----------



## misspriss

I've been lurking on this thread for about a year, and I didn't want to join because I thought I'd be setting myself up for failure, but it's been such an encouragement and I've been celibate for a year now, so I thought I'd make it official.  I'm trying to turn my life over to God in all areas.  I've even picked up cooking and aerobics to keep me occupied .  Thanks ladies.  God is Love.


----------



## BeatriceFly

well i am so happy and grateful to see i'm not the only black woman doing this
its hard
my ex boyfriend wanted to give our relationship a second go and changed his mind once i said sex is not an option until marriage
how sad is that?!?!??! hurt my little heart.
but its okay, God is my new love!!!!
and thats okay, its hard being fly and 20 and not having sex!! LOL JK
love you all
ebony


----------



## crlsweetie912

I thought that I had posted in this thread a long time ago.  But I consider myself a part of this challenge.  I am 32 years old, have 3 sons and I have been celibate since July 4, 2004.  PRAISE BE UNTO GOD!   There is nothing that I can say that I have done that has made this possible.  Prayer and a strong relationship with God is the only way.  I keep you ladies in my prayers for strenght to endure!

Be Blessed!


----------



## empressaja

I am in. I'm 25 a mother of two ans starting my life over again. I also believe this is the perfect time. I am now ready.


----------



## MysTori

Count me in...Again! I had taken up this challenge before, last year, and failed. I guess it didn't help that I was living with my bf! Anyway, we are about to go our separate ways beginning October 10th. However, I started this challenge about 2 weeks ago (9/04). The temptation is getting weaker and weaker the more I stay focused on God and less on myself and my wants. I do know that I don't want to start over again, and more than anything else, disappoint my Father. Pray for me ladies as I will be praying for you.


----------



## jenell85

Im in also!!  I am so glad I have found this sight with women trying to do the right thing and uplifting each other. It's hard to find that type of crowd in college. This sight is really a blessing!!!


----------



## tuffCOOKiE

Wow, praise God.  First I want to thank all of you that shared your stories with us.  Second I wanted you all to know that it IS hard to find purity and MAINTAIN it.  We all know what to do, we're just being procratinators with our 'can'ts' but you also must agree that Jesus can.

I have not had sex since Feb 2005; But it took me a long time to get there.  I don't say this to compare numbers or discourage.  I say it to help my sisters win this battle.  I'm still struggling! And throughout this year and whatever months I haven't been entirely faithful to the plan!  (For example, I cuddled with this man and.. let just say things happened.  It wasn't sex but.. it wasn't purity) 

In the last year I found that purity isn't just about not having sex but not putting myself in situations that are not aligned w/ my goals in Christ Jesus.  Like, prayer AND action is what is going to save us.  We have to make a promise to ourselves and be committed to the task at hand.

Let me share with you the things I've learned:

1 *Know why you want to do this*.  The original reason why I wanted to do this was b/c I was tired of the games and getting attached.  But then I realized, giving the gift of _me_ is the best gift that I could give to my husband.  God ordained sex, sex drives and everything that comes with it for marriage and it took me a sexual relationship to realize that He was right.  I respect His plan and I respect the institution of marriage a WHOLE lot more now because of the great amount of intimacy there.

2. *Make a Plan. * Things don't 'just happen'.  You gotta make a plan to reach that goal. For example (let me know if i'm crossing the line here), you know how in the morning, after your alarm goes off and you stay in bed for the extra five to ten min??  Well, when I do, that's when i'm weakest to those urges.  So when I had a cuddling partner, things 'went down' in the morning.  I got rid of my cuddle buddy and I try to get up out of bed ASAP.  I also got rid of those 'friends'.  You know the ones I'm talkin about? Guys who are your friends.. but not REALLY your friend??  The ones that care a lil too much, hug you a lil too long and have expressed in one way or another they feel for you but are either A. not christian B. not really your 'type' or C. Not ready to make the same committment you are.

3.*  Follow through.*  I praise God for everyday I make it through.  Thank God I've been too busy to be idle.  Share your story because when I first started, I was going through withdrawl.  I NEEDED it!!  I thought: Pfft, yea right.  I'm already in sin, whats one more time? and 'I cannot do this!!'  But I've made my plan and im stickin to it! I'm not cuddling, I'm not making out, I'm not masturbating, I'm forming FRIENDSHIPS w/ men.  Its hard.  Because whenever I see a fine brother I think 'GEEZ, he'd look GREAT with me!' but 

I have to remember that I'm not looking for anything because I'm not ready for marriage.  And besides, that guy has got to find me.  


Ps.  Ebony Perez, I totally feel you.  Its hard being fly, young, single and NOT having sex.  I'm not fly but I'm the other two.  You got your work cut out for you girl!!


----------



## Shimmie

You can do it Angels.   Oh yes indeed you can.   If I can go for 24 years you can endure your one, two or three or more.  

I didn't plan it this long, but it just turned out that way.  I've always had 'options', but I just never 'yielded.'  I'm not bragging either because it has been a challenge from time to time. A real challenge.  I love men.  But I love myself and God more. I wanted something more in my life.  

God gave me a pormise that I would re-marry and He has never lied to me.  And that's one of the reasons I'm holding on.  I want to be with my husband, not a 'counterfeit' or as a precious sister here shared, "go for the 'Steak Dinner', not "McDonald's


----------



## msjazzy09

I just paid my dues today and couldn't wait to join this Challenge! It has been a long time coming but Thank God it is here! I am twice-divorced mother of four, and am in the process of developing a whole new relationship with God. I have been baptized since 22 and a God-fearing, Jesus-loving Christian, but by the world's standards, not by God's standards! Do you hear me ladies? Does anyone know what I am talking about?

For the first time ever I started down the path of abstinence for the sake of God last year. I lasted about six months and then the devil got me good! I met someone and the chemistry was there. We quickly got engaged and the devil had me saying stuff like, "Well we'll be married soon anyway." He was/is addicted to sex, and because I put my trust in him and not in Him, I was deep into it too. DEEP! There are things I am trying to block out of my own mind and Praise God it is happening! After a few months with him the Holy Spirit started winning again, because I wanted It to. But it took me several more months to finally say no more no more! 

I will pray for my sisters here and please keep me in your prayers as well! I now realize that the best gift for my God-given husband (not the ones I chose ) is what God had intended for him in the first place. I will continue to pray for myself that I stay out of God's way!


----------



## Ms Red

I am still in the challenge, just checking in. God has really been working in my life and I keep seeking His face. Now, I have noticed a change in my boyfriend (him asking that we not kiss, touch etc., reading the bible and beginning to pray, going to church). God is able. He is truly able and works in His own time. I thank God that I have remained true to my promise to God by waiting until marriage.


----------



## donewit-it

Hi guys, I don't care about anonymity. As you can see quite original. Anyway, I pray everyday that I can withstand this challenge.  I am being babtized on Sunday and am being symbollically washed clean of any sins I have participated in in the past.

I do want to remain celibate until I am married and so far it's only been one week.

Hope to get encouragement and support from you guys. Thanks again.


----------



## mblake8

I am in on this one!


----------



## mercedes826

Count me in. I have been abstinent for a 1 year now.


----------



## whosthatgurl

Well, I'm 17, but I've been a virgin all of life, and I really plan on it until I stay married, but I think this would be another way of staying commited. Plus I think that it's important, because of my faith in God.


----------



## chica_canella

I really want to join this challenge but I just feel as if I will have a boyfriend and I feel like I would be depriving him of something.


----------



## nissi

chica_canella said:
			
		

> I really want to join this challenge but I just feel as if I will have a boyfriend and I feel like I would be depriving him of something.



Honey, keep in mind that you owe your boyfriend nothing but kindness and friendship! Giving him your most precious possession, your body, is nothing that he has an automatic right to. But you owe the Lord everything.  He gave you your life.

This boyfriend you are saving your body for may dump you tomorrow for the next thing. He may keep you and cheat on you. That's why God speaks against fornication (sex outside of marriage). He loves you and wants to protect your heart, your spirit and your body.  Remember sweetie, we are in the age of AIDS, and people are dying because they didn't want to wait.

I was just thinking about a young lady in my church who was obsessed with this young man. Anyone with a little sense could see that it was a phase she was going through and told her to take it easy.  She (and he) refused to listen and kept going full speed ahead. Photos at graduation, and the works!

Fast forward to today.  She refuses today to even speak to him.  Now she has all those pictures with him in every shot, and doesn't even want anyone to know she ever was with him. But it didn't have to be like that if she had taken it slow.  Thank God she listened a little so nothing tragic happened.

When a man is ready to commit to you before the Lord and the world, it is then (after the ceremony!) that he has the right to your body.  Until then, get to know yourself (first) and him, so you will see his true heart to know if he is deserving of your precious love.  If you are in Jesus, you are a princess, so see yourself that way!  Wait for God to bring you your prince! Much love!


----------



## chica_canella

nissi said:
			
		

> Honey, keep in mind that you owe your boyfriend nothing but kindness and friendship! Giving him your most precious possession, your body, is nothing that he has an automatic right to. But you owe the Lord everything. He gave you your life.
> 
> This boyfriend you are saving your body for may dump you tomorrow for the next thing. He may keep you and cheat on you. That's why God speaks against fornication (sex outside of marriage). He loves you and wants to protect your heart, your spirit and your body. Remember sweetie, we are in the age of AIDS, and people are dying because they didn't want to wait.
> 
> I was just thinking about a young lady in my church who was obsessed with this young man. Anyone with a little sense could see that it was a phase she was going through and told her to take it easy. She (and he) refused to listen and kept going full speed ahead. Photos at graduation, and the works!
> 
> Fast forward to today. She refuses today to even speak to him. Now she has all those pictures with him in every shot, and doesn't even want anyone to know she ever was with him. But it didn't have to be like that if she had taken it slow. Thank God she listened a little so nothing tragic happened.
> 
> When a man is ready to commit to you before the Lord and the world, it is then (after the ceremony!) that he has the right to your body. Until then, get to know yourself (first) and him, so you will see his true heart to know if he is deserving of your precious love. If you are in Jesus, you are a princess, so see yourself that way! Wait for God to bring you your prince! Much love!


 

Yes, you are right and I know better than this.  It is just as of lately I have been doubting my beliefs in knowing about fornication.  I know it is wrong but I just can't see myself in a serious relationship w/ a young man without going there.  But I know I am wrong because I struggle with Jesus saying, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments."  And I do love God so this is one of many commmandments that I can keep. 

I really just have to pray for strength.


----------



## crlsweetie912

Hi everyone!  I am just checking in.  I am nearing my 4 year anniversary of being celibate and I am SOOOO HAPPY with my decision!  There have been very few rough spots and God is working on me and I love the person that I have become.  God is in control of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way!

BE BLESSED!


----------



## nissi

Honey, 
Don't worry, you have the saints praying for and with you! It may be hard to see yourself in a serious relationship with a young man without having sex, but it simply takes your mind being renewed from the world to the Word! (ETA: See Romans 12:1-2; 1 John 2) 

Think of it this way. When you have a young man who will respect God's will for you where sex is concerned, you will have a young man who will respect God where you are concerned for everything else in life.  

But if that young man won't listen to God when it comes to your body, why should he respect God when it comes to the rest of your life?  You are setting yourself up for abuse and mistreatment, cuz he hasn't passed the sex test.

The young man who will respect you is out there, you just have to be willing to believe God and be patient for the best thing He has for you!  You are worth it! God thought so, He gave His Best for you! So be encouraged!

Much love! -n



			
				chica_canella said:
			
		

> Yes, you are right and I know better than this.  It is just as of lately I have been doubting my beliefs in knowing about fornication.  I know it is wrong but I just can't see myself in a serious relationship w/ a young man without going there.  But I know I am wrong because I struggle with Jesus saying, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments."  And I do love God so this is one of many commmandments that I can keep.
> 
> I really just have to pray for strength.


----------



## cocoberry10

I just needed to re-read through this thread and know that I can stay a virgin until marriage, no matter what the naysayers say!


----------



## sprungonhairboards

sprungonhairboards said:
			
		

> PRAY PRAY PRAY for God to strenghten you. Be honest with yourself and really examine WHY you are abstaining. God has an amazing way of helping us through when our heart is sincere. It's been since March for me, I still have the same man (who I was active with for 3yrs prior to my abstinence) and I'm not even tempted anymore. I look at everything so differently now.



I had to come in here to see exactly how long its been. Wow a year and a week today since this post. What a coincidence. Still celibate!  Almost 2 years. Dumped that man though  Thank you Jesus!


----------



## Xavier

Looks like this thread started a while ago but I will not be fooled by the enemy into thinking that it is too late to join this challenge. This is a great thread. I have made this personal commitment a couple of months ago and it is nice to see other women doing the same. Reading some of your posts have been very encouraging...keep it going ladies!


----------



## Trinity1

brownsugababe said:
			
		

> Looks like this thread started a while ago but I will not be fooled by the enemy into thinking that it is too late to join this challenge. This is a great thread. I have made this personal commitment a couple of months ago and it is nice to see other women doing the same. Reading some of your posts have been very encouraging...keep it going ladies!




I agree with you on that.  I wont let the enemy fool me into thinking its too late either....I dont even recall if I officially joined this challenge or not....LOL but at any rate,next month will mark 2 years since I've given myself to anyone in a premarital relationship and I feel empowered. 

The last man I dated and gave myself to 2 years ago is the current man I am seeing now...We broke up Dec 2004 and just started spending time together as friends a couple of weeks ago. Although I love and care for this man....I have absolutely no interest in given myself to him in that way. I dont feel the way I used to in the past when I've tried to be celibate but could feel the desire churning inside of me to a point where I knew I couldnt resist. Now,although I am extremely attracted to him,it is based most on the mental and emotional rather than the physical attraction...We're having fun...He hasnt tried to "go there",we've only kissed.....eventually if we keep seeing eachother I will have to tell him about my celibacy and my beliefs. If he is truly interested in me then our friendship will continue but if he isnt worthy of a good woman,then he'll be on his way and I'm fine with that because I wouldnt have lost anything.


TeeTee2


----------



## Shimmie

Tee Tee2 said:
			
		

> I agree with you on that. I wont let the enemy fool me into thinking its too late either....I dont even recall if I officially joined this challenge or not....LOL but at any rate,next month will mark 2 years since I've given myself to anyone in a premarital relationship and I feel empowered.
> 
> The last man I dated and gave myself to 2 years ago is the current man I am seeing now...We broke up Dec 2004 and just started spending time together as friends a couple of weeks ago. Although I love and care for this man....I have absolutely no interest in given myself to him in that way. I dont feel the way I used to in the past when I've tried to be celibate but could feel the desire churning inside of me to a point where I knew I couldnt resist. Now,although I am extremely attracted to him,it is based most on the mental and emotional rather than the physical attraction...We're having fun...He hasnt tried to "go there",we've only kissed.....eventually if we keep seeing eachother I will have to tell him about my celibacy and my beliefs. If he is truly interested in me then our friendship will continue but if he isnt worthy of a good woman,then he'll be on his way and I'm fine with that because I wouldnt have lost anything.
> 
> 
> TeeTee2


 
It's never too late...or too early... 

Be strong Ladies, you can do this.  Really.  Don't ask how I know...but I know  

You *can *do all things through Christ *and your will* which strengthens you.

Blessings...


----------



## Ms Red

I am checking in.  Still here and kicking, doing well!


----------



## blazingthru

I wish I could get some help.  I been celebate for over a year and three years before that and 18 months before that and I am married. All of this is not by choice. but theres nothing I can do about the situation.  My husband and I are divorcing but we still live together and we been divorcing for a year now.  Yeah well he hasn't gotten the papers yet nor has he moved out the house. Its all very frustrating. You cant' imagine what its like.  You just can't.  Plus he sleeps nude, No I dont' see him.  Not allowed to see him, he gets dressed in the bathroom. oh its a real nightmare this marriage thing.  Anyway anyone know of anywhere i can go to get some help some strong advice to keep strong.  I am technically going into about 7 years.


----------



## gabby1

I am new to the boards but when I saw this Abstinence Challenge my heart leaped for joy. This is so encouraging to me please keep me in your prayers and I will pray for you as well .


----------



## caligirl2385

i'm joining this challenge.  it's my time.


----------



## Sosa

I'm in! I've been celibate for almost 3 years. I find its getting easier...Year1 was a bit of a challengeerplexed  .
But i don't wanna get married anytime soon so ...............man, i dunno. let's just see how this goes.


----------



## smartandblessed

I totally agree with waiting and I have the testimony to prove it. I was a virgin when I dated my last boyfriend. We dated for three years and never had sex. Sure times sometimes got tought but we both held on to God. I hear that sex clouds judgement. Without sex, we were able to get to know each other without the physical attachment. We had a spiritual and mental connection. We talked a lot about everything including God and his plan for our lives. We are both saved and we wanted to please God. I think it really helps if both partners are saved. He was willing to wait for me and he did the right thing and  proposed. Boy was it a huge rock! I think the fact that we waited attributed to that. I really wanted a big wedding. The Lord smile upon us by keeping his covenant and he blessed us to have a HUGE wedding and we didn't owe ANYBODY after it was over!!! My wedding night was awesome. The first time that I ever made love was with my husband. The man that I married! It was so beautiful I cried! I am so happy that I waited. Now, I can tell everyone including my children (SOMEDAY)  that it pays to wait for that someone special and my husband is truly someone special! Not many guys would wait over 3 years! Sure, it was difficult for him since he was experienced before he met me but he was up for the challenge. I love him with all my heart!!! Remember, nothing is impossible to him that believeth. As you go through this time of abstinence remember Phillippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ that strenghtheneth me!


----------



## baby42

i am in been on the abstinence challenge a long time waiting for the real mr right    good luck every body and GOD bless every body and keep praying


----------



## crlsweetie912

I almost gave in to my flesh about a week ago.  What I realized is that I don't actually miss sex persay, but I definitely do miss the *companionship*.  I am glad that I didn't mess up 3 years of "sobriety".


----------



## Cinnabuns

Just checking in and I'm still going strong.  I'll be getting married on Saturday, June 30, 2007 so I will be ending this challange soon but I just want to encourage all you ladies to stay strong and remember that we can do all things through Christ which strengthens us.


----------



## Ms Red

You don't know how much this post moved me. Thank you for sharing this and encouraging those of us who are waiting until marriage and go through rough spots.  




			
				smartandblessed said:
			
		

> I totally agree with waiting and I have the testimony to prove it. I was a virgin when I dated my last boyfriend. We dated for three years and never had sex. Sure times sometimes got tought but we both held on to God. I hear that sex clouds judgement. Without sex, we were able to get to know each other without the physical attachment. We had a spiritual and mental connection. We talked a lot about everything including God and his plan for our lives. We are both saved and we wanted to please God. I think it really helps if both partners are saved. He was willing to wait for me and he did the right thing and  proposed. Boy was it a huge rock! I think the fact that we waited attributed to that. I really wanted a big wedding. The Lord smile upon us by keeping his covenant and he blessed us to have a HUGE wedding and we didn't owe ANYBODY after it was over!!! My wedding night was awesome. The first time that I ever made love was with my husband. The man that I married! It was so beautiful I cried! I am so happy that I waited. Now, I can tell everyone including my children (SOMEDAY)  that it pays to wait for that someone special and my husband is truly someone special! Not many guys would wait over 3 years! Sure, it was difficult for him since he was experienced before he met me but he was up for the challenge. I love him with all my heart!!! Remember, nothing is impossible to him that believeth. As you go through this time of abstinence remember Phillippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ that strenghtheneth me!


----------



## dymondgurl

Hello ladies 

I'm definitely joining this challenge.
This is truly a blessing  to have this forum available
to encourage and uplift each other up in prayer.I am truly looking
forward to getting to know you all.


  God Bless


----------



## chica_canella

Can ya'll pray for me? I need some scripture cause I really want to be celibate.


----------



## snugglez41685

sugaplum said:
			
		

> *[size=+1]ï¿½Challenge for Christian Single Ladiesï¿½*[/size]
> 
> This challenge is to encourage my sisters to stay celibate & live for God.  I feel that we as Christian women, we should respect our bodies and hold it sacred.  Sex is a special gift that _should_ be shared in marriage and it _should not_ be dragged in the mud (like pornagraphy, videos, etc.).  The Christian is called to live a life of unselfish love.  Abstinence should always seek to glorify God and buildup fellow believers in the faith.
> 
> The Rules are:
> 
> 1) No late night dates when initially meeting someone-especially if you are not a strong christian yet. No clubbing and no living together.
> 
> *1 Thessalonians 5:22-23* - Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
> 
> 2) No type of sexual contact (having sex, impure thoughts, oral sex, masturbation, etc.) and no sexual immorality.
> 
> *Colossians 3:5* - Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
> 
> *Ephesians 5:5* - Be sure of this, that no fornicator or impure man, or one who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
> 
> The Apostle Paul was never married.  He followed Christ and used Godï¿½s teachings.  Apostle Paul said, ï¿½The Believers body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and should not be polluted by unclean things.ï¿½
> 
> *1 Corinthians 6 19-20* - Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
> 
> Paul also exhorted the church of Thessalonians to *ï¿½abstain from sexual immorality.ï¿½*
> 
> *1 Thessalonians 4:3*-For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from fornication;
> 
> *Holy Spirit Check*---Also your Holy Spirit will let you know when you are not doing God's Will.
> 
> FINAL NOTE-The only reason for breaking this challenge----
> [size=+2]*IS IF YOU GET MARRIED!!*[/size]
> 
> *Genesis 2:23-24* - Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.
> 
> I will pray for all of you that this challenge will make you stronger in your faith, closer to God, following Jesus's path, and I rebuke anyone and anything that will try and stop you from getting the Prize.
> 
> God Bless you ladies.




Not to seem rude but isn't all of this "celibacy" and not abstinece? Maybe I am wrong.erplexed


----------



## Cinnabuns

snugglez41685 said:
			
		

> Not to seem rude but isn't all of this "celibacy" and not abstinece? Maybe I am wrong.erplexed



I don't think that this was a rude question at all, as a matter of fact I think that it is very good one.  When I read your post I got to thinking about it for myself and I decided to look them up and appears to me that both the words mean roughly the same thing.

Taken from the merriam-webster dictionary online I read:

Celibacy

Main Entry: celÂ·iÂ·baÂ·cy 
Pronunciation: 'se-l&-b&-sE
Function: noun
1 : the state of not being married
2 a : abstention from sexual intercourse b : abstention by vow from marriage 




Abstinence

Main Entry: abÂ·stiÂ·nence 
Pronunciation: 'ab-st&-n&n(t)s
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin abstinentia, from abstinent-, abstinens, present participle of abstinEre
1 : voluntary forbearance especially from indulgence of an appetite or craving or from eating some foods
2 a : habitual abstaining from intoxicating beverages b : abstention from sexual intercourse 
- abÂ·stiÂ·nent  /-n&nt/ adjective 
- abÂ·stiÂ·nentÂ·ly adverb 

From what I gather between the two of these definitions is that Celebacy means abstention from sexual intercourse and to abstain means not indulging in.  

When I read the first initial post written by Sugaplum it appears that she means both abstinance and celibacy (from sex) and that this thread was intended just for that purpose only.   But this is just the way that I have percieved it to be others may disagree.

But anywho, we'd love to have you join in with us on this special challange and I pray that will consider doing so.  It has brought me closer to God and has recall made me access myself or a much broader scale.


----------



## bklynLadee

I am Down for the Challenge.  My Boyfriend and I have been together for four years now, and it has definately been a struggle...Recently I listened to some R&B Music, and it got me started, So I am trying my best to stay away from as many things as possible that will stirr up images in my head.  

I definately want to live for God and Him alone and show him that I humble myself before him and do not live according to my flesh!


----------



## destiny30

It's okay.  God is a God of second chances.  I've been celibate for over four years.


----------



## golden bronze

I made it this long. I'm in!


----------



## Monilove122

I'm in as well.  This is an awesome challenge, we try hard for hair challenges so let's put in the same effort to please God!


----------



## gentlegiant

Thanks for sharing!  I am glad to know this can be done.  I have been dating someone for a little over 2 years and I also am a virgin while my SO is experienced.  He has been waiting and I can't wait for the day I can tell your testimony as my own!



			
				smartandblessed said:
			
		

> I totally agree with waiting and I have the testimony to prove it. I was a virgin when I dated my last boyfriend. We dated for three years and never had sex. Sure times sometimes got tought but we both held on to God. I hear that sex clouds judgement. Without sex, we were able to get to know each other without the physical attachment. We had a spiritual and mental connection. We talked a lot about everything including God and his plan for our lives. We are both saved and we wanted to please God. I think it really helps if both partners are saved. He was willing to wait for me and he did the right thing and proposed. Boy was it a huge rock! I think the fact that we waited attributed to that. I really wanted a big wedding. The Lord smile upon us by keeping his covenant and he blessed us to have a HUGE wedding and we didn't owe ANYBODY after it was over!!! My wedding night was awesome. The first time that I ever made love was with my husband. The man that I married! It was so beautiful I cried! I am so happy that I waited. Now, I can tell everyone including my children (SOMEDAY) that it pays to wait for that someone special and my husband is truly someone special! Not many guys would wait over 3 years! Sure, it was difficult for him since he was experienced before he met me but he was up for the challenge. I love him with all my heart!!! Remember, nothing is impossible to him that believeth. As you go through this time of abstinence remember Phillippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ that strenghtheneth me!


----------



## klb120475

Add me to the challenge too! I was just saying last night "I wish there was a celibacy support group I could join". I should have known ya'll were on top of it.


----------



## Naijaqueen

I think I joined this a while ago but not sure, but hopping back on!

Life is about choices, Ichose not to put any man above God, I'd like to walk down the aisle knowing that I'm pure .
To ladies who wonder if it can be done, I've had several friends and family members who have, and they felt right on their wedding night.


----------



## preciouzone

I also believe in saving sex for marriage personally and also because God stresses that. More to protect us rather than to stop us from having a good time. 

The temptation is hard at times, but I have self-control. (Which is one of the fruits of the spirit... Galatians 5:22-23. I also struggle with impure thoughts. Like someone mention on an earlier post. I also choose to honor God with my body, mind and soul.

Thanks for this Challenge and God bless you all!

*Preciouzone


----------



## Amour

IM IN


----------



## Naijaqueen

Hey ladies, I pray everyone is doing ok, and want to encourage you to trust God to see you through, that God touches the hearts of those with boyfriends and fiances. I also want to encourage those who are single to not be afraid to pray and claim their husbands in Jesus' name, do not be afraid to ask God for that life partner. I am in a new relationship, and I know it was blessed by God because of how it all came about, and every day I ask God for His spiritual wisdom be revealed to both of us so that we may walk right and make this special to Him. Do not be afraid to talk to your men about celibacy, a man who acknowledges you as a gift from God even if He has been swayed by the ways of the world, will be further strengthened by your principles. If God has made it perfect for you by giving you this person, then why mess it up, let Him be able to look at you and smile.
It is important to realize your position in God, I've been blessed way too abundantly by God for me to not do this for Him. I want to be pleasing in His sight, so I do this for Him and not for myself, if your partner is a man of God, He will honor and respect this. Do not be yoked with unbelievers, this holds true especially with this. 
God is able to do exceeding and immeasurably more than we can ever Hope and imagine. Not only is He going to provide you with one He has prepared for you, but He's going to be attractive, lovely, respectful, and treasure and worship you and your temple.
Believe that and understand your faith in God works!


----------



## klb120475

Naijaqueen said:
			
		

> Hey ladies, I pray everyone is doing ok, and want to encourage you to trust God to see you through, that God touches the hearts of those with boyfriends and fiances. I also want to encourage those who are single to not be afraid to pray and claim their husbands in Jesus' name, do not be afraid to ask God for that life partner. I am in a new relationship, and I know it was blessed by God because of how it all came about, and every day I ask God for His spiritual wisdom be revealed to both of us so that we may walk right and make this special to Him. Do not be afraid to talk to your men about celibacy, a man who acknowledges you as a gift from God even if He has been swayed by the ways of the world, will be further strengthened by your principles. If God has made it perfect for you by giving you this person, then why mess it up, let Him be able to look at you and smile.
> It is important to realize your position in God, I've been blessed way too abundantly in God for me to not do this for Him. I want to be pleasing in His sight, so I do this for Him, if your partner is a man of God, He will honor and respect this. Do not be yoked with unbelievers, this holds true especially with this.
> God is able to do exceeding and immeasurably more than we can ever Hope and imagine. Not only is He going to provide you with one He has prepared for you, but He's going to be attractive, lovely, respect, treasure and worship you and your temple.
> Believe that and understand your faith in God works!


 
Thank you, I needed this.


----------



## Ms Red

Wonderful. Thank you.

I am still here doing well 


			
				Naijaqueen said:
			
		

> Hey ladies, I pray everyone is doing ok, and want to encourage you to trust God to see you through, that God touches the hearts of those with boyfriends and fiances. I also want to encourage those who are single to not be afraid to pray and claim their husbands in Jesus' name, do not be afraid to ask God for that life partner. I am in a new relationship, and I know it was blessed by God because of how it all came about, and every day I ask God for His spiritual wisdom be revealed to both of us so that we may walk right and make this special to Him. Do not be afraid to talk to your men about celibacy, a man who acknowledges you as a gift from God even if He has been swayed by the ways of the world, will be further strengthened by your principles. If God has made it perfect for you by giving you this person, then why mess it up, let Him be able to look at you and smile.
> It is important to realize your position in God, I've been blessed way too abundantly by God for me to not do this for Him. I want to be pleasing in His sight, so I do this for Him and not for myself, if your partner is a man of God, He will honor and respect this. Do not be yoked with unbelievers, this holds true especially with this.
> God is able to do exceeding and immeasurably more than we can ever Hope and imagine. Not only is He going to provide you with one He has prepared for you, but He's going to be attractive, lovely, respectful, and treasure and worship you and your temple.
> Believe that and understand your faith in God works!


----------



## Naijaqueen

Wonderful ladies, remember to keep your garment of righteousness on so that God's favor will remain in your lives!!


----------



## Nikki253

sugaplum said:
			
		

> *[SIZE=+1]?Challenge for Christian Single Ladies?[/SIZE]*
> 
> This challenge is to encourage my sisters to stay celibate & live for God. I feel that we as Christian women, we should respect our bodies and hold it sacred. Sex is a special gift that _should_ be shared in marriage and it _should not_ be dragged in the mud (like pornagraphy, videos, etc.). The Christian is called to live a life of unselfish love. Abstinence should always seek to glorify God and buildup fellow believers in the faith.
> 
> The Rules are:
> 
> 1) No late night dates when initially meeting someone-especially if you are not a strong christian yet. No clubbing and no living together.
> 
> *1 Thessalonians 5:22-23* - Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
> 
> 2) No type of sexual contact (having sex, impure thoughts, oral sex, masturbation, etc.) and no sexual immorality.
> 
> *Colossians 3:5* - Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
> 
> *Ephesians 5:5* - Be sure of this, that no fornicator or impure man, or one who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
> 
> The Apostle Paul was never married. He followed Christ and used God?s teachings. Apostle Paul said, ?The Believers body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and should not be polluted by unclean things.?
> 
> *1 Corinthians 6 19-20* - Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
> 
> Paul also exhorted the church of Thessalonians to *?abstain from sexual immorality.?*
> 
> *1 Thessalonians 4:3*-For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from fornication;
> 
> *Holy Spirit Check*---Also your Holy Spirit will let you know when you are not doing God's Will.
> 
> FINAL NOTE-The only reason for breaking this challenge----
> [SIZE=+2]*IS IF YOU GET MARRIED!!*[/SIZE]
> 
> *Genesis 2:23-24* - Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.
> 
> I will pray for all of you that this challenge will make you stronger in your faith, closer to God, following Jesus's path, and I rebuke anyone and anything that will try and stop you from getting the Prize.
> 
> God Bless you ladies.


I'm in, it has already been 1yr 2month and a few days....I am still struggling with the impure thought though!!!


----------



## Naiema1

Can I join in on this challenge? I need this challenge and the prayer of praying women. I have read a lot of the posting before I decided to post, and all have been encouraging and what I needed to hear. I'm waiting for my lifetime partner, and leaving all that foolishness behind.


----------



## caligirl2385

Naijaqueen said:
			
		

> Hey ladies, I pray everyone is doing ok, and want to encourage you to trust God to see you through, that God touches the hearts of those with boyfriends and fiances. I also want to encourage those who are single to not be afraid to pray and claim their husbands in Jesus' name, do not be afraid to ask God for that life partner. I am in a new relationship, and I know it was blessed by God because of how it all came about, and every day I ask God for His spiritual wisdom be revealed to both of us so that we may walk right and make this special to Him. Do not be afraid to talk to your men about celibacy, a man who acknowledges you as a gift from God even if He has been swayed by the ways of the world, will be further strengthened by your principles. If God has made it perfect for you by giving you this person, then why mess it up, let Him be able to look at you and smile.
> It is important to realize your position in God, I've been blessed way too abundantly by God for me to not do this for Him. I want to be pleasing in His sight, so I do this for Him and not for myself, if your partner is a man of God, He will honor and respect this. Do not be yoked with unbelievers, this holds true especially with this.
> God is able to do exceeding and immeasurably more than we can ever Hope and imagine. Not only is He going to provide you with one He has prepared for you, but He's going to be attractive, lovely, respectful, and treasure and worship you and your temple.
> Believe that and understand your faith in God works!



THANK YOU.


----------



## klb120475

Naiema1 said:
			
		

> Can I join in on this challenge? I need this challenge and the prayer of praying women. I have read a lot of the posting before I decided to post, and all have been encouraging and what I needed to hear. I'm waiting for my lifetime partner, and leaving all that foolishness behind.


 
Of course you can join!


----------



## Innocent_Kiss

I recently gave my life to God, and I'm in total submission to his perfect will for me.  I would like to join this challenge.  I'm in a relationship where me and my BF were having premarital sex.  I told him my decision to practice abstinence.  He's shocked, confused, and frustrated.  Let's just say this will definitely be a challenge.  I'm just going to keep in mind that I want to please God before I please my boyfriend.  Please keep me in your prayers!


----------



## RhoyalAce

Already in!   

I've tried living my life my way. *I prefer God's way much better!!!!!!*


----------



## misspriss

I'm re-committing to this challenge.  Nothing goes the right way when I try to do things my way and not the way God designed...I believe I'm worth the wait, and anybody who's worth being with me should be able to respect that.


----------



## BrownEyez22

I would like to encourage everyone who has already commited to this challenge. I am not sure if I am ready to join yet. I haven't had sex in a long time, but I haven't officially said I was abstaining for it either. I have been thinking and praying about it. I am currently single and have never officially had a boyfriend just a "friend." But from that experience I can really see the true benefits in seperating sex from non-married relationships, I think sex can sometimes cloud our vision of the other person. Pray for me that I find my way through this and hopefully I will be back soon joining you ladies in the challege. Be blessed.


----------



## life_is_great

Finally joining this challenge.  I must admit it's long overdue.  It's been about 6 wks, I think.  It's not easy, but with God all things are possible, even me being celibate.


----------



## chica_canella

*Glad to see you ladies are hanging in there. Now, I will just continue to "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these other things will be added unto you."*

*So, that means my future hubby and much more.*


----------



## Jenaee

Hi Ladies,

I joined this challenge a while ago and have been struggling alot. It seems like every since I became apart of this challenge, I fallen more than ever before. I feel like such a failure in HIM. I know this is how the enemy wants me to feel but I will not let him win. So as of right now, I AM TOTALLY COMMITTED TO ABSTAINING.

Please keep me in your prayers!


----------



## The Savvy Sistah

I'm in for this challenge. The more I get close to God the more I want to please him. I don't think a true relationship will last if it's based primarly on sex. If you can't communicate afterwards than it can only last so long. 

I feel that I moving closer to marriage and God is just showing me how to keep my focus.


----------



## Ms Red

Hi Jenaee, 

You are in my prayers. At least you already see that this is a weakness where the devil seeks to get in through. I pray you will stand firm in your beliefs and that God blesses your obedience. It's the same thing I pray for myself. :hug:

Cc





Jenaee said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> I joined this challenge a while ago and have been struggling alot. It seems like every since I became apart of this challenge, I fallen more than ever before. I feel like such a failure in HIM. I know this is how the enemy wants me to feel but I will not let him win. So as of right now, I AM TOTALLY COMMITTED TO ABSTAINING.
> 
> Please keep me in your prayers!


----------



## Everything Zen

Okay let's say you have "a friend" that is a 25 year old virgin for a lot of the good spiritual Christian reasons (wait until marriage, part of our upbringing, etc.) Say that this "friend" is also a virgin becuase of some things that have happened to her as they happen to many people (sexual abuse as a child). This "friend" has had a difficult time having a meaningful relationship with any man because of this. She didn't have her first kiss until she was 21 and all relationships with seemingly great guys have avoided her since then. Enter the present. My "friend" has been in her first real relationship for five months in love with a 36 year old man who completely understands where she is coming from and respects her decisions to wait for marriage with no pressure. Even though she is not sure if she ever wants to get married she feels that it woud be the right way to go about it since she would be opening herself up to having children (something she is also not sure that she ever wants to have). My "friend" has a hard time even letting the love of her life get close to her because of what has happened to her and despite going to multiple therapists- she can't even handle going through a pelvic exam. How is my "friend" ever going to be able to get close to a man without having a panic attack like she usually does. It's like being a perpetual virgin without all the temptation... erplexed


----------



## life_is_great

Time for updates.  How is everybody doing on this challenge?

I'm doing pretty good.  Haven't fallen off.


----------



## Everything Zen

JenFleets said:


> Okay let's say you have "a friend" that is a 25 year old virgin for a lot of the good spiritual Christian reasons (wait until marriage, part of our upbringing, etc.) Say that this "friend" is also a virgin becuase of some things that have happened to her as they happen to many people (sexual abuse as a child). This "friend" has had a difficult time having a meaningful relationship with any man because of this. She didn't have her first kiss until she was 21 and all relationships with seemingly great guys have avoided her since then. Enter the present. My "friend" has been in her first real relationship for five months in love with a 36 year old man who completely understands where she is coming from and respects her decisions to wait for marriage with no pressure. Even though she is not sure if she ever wants to get married she feels that it woud be the right way to go about it since she would be opening herself up to having children (something she is also not sure that she ever wants to have). My "friend" has a hard time even letting the love of her life get close to her because of what has happened to her and despite going to multiple therapists- she can't even handle going through a pelvic exam. How is my "friend" ever going to be able to get close to a man without having a panic attack like she usually does. It's like being a perpetual virgin without all the temptation... erplexed



Wow no one has any advice???


----------



## Jenaee

cupcake said:


> Hi Jenaee,
> 
> You are in my prayers. At least you already see that this is a weakness where the devil seeks to get in through. I pray you will stand firm in your beliefs and that God blesses your obedience. It's the same thing I pray for myself. :hug:
> 
> Cc


 

Thank you soo much Cupcake..you're in my prayers too!


----------



## life_is_great

JenFleets said:


> Wow no one has any advice???



That's a tough one.  I think your friend needs therapy.


----------



## caligirl2385

JenFleets said:


> Okay let's say you have "a friend" that is a 25 year old virgin for a lot of the good spiritual Christian reasons (wait until marriage, part of our upbringing, etc.) Say that this "friend" is also a virgin becuase of some things that have happened to her as they happen to many people (sexual abuse as a child). This "friend" has had a difficult time having a meaningful relationship with any man because of this. She didn't have her first kiss until she was 21 and all relationships with seemingly great guys have avoided her since then. Enter the present. My "friend" has been in her first real relationship for five months in love with a 36 year old man who completely understands where she is coming from and respects her decisions to wait for marriage with no pressure. Even though she is not sure if she ever wants to get married she feels that it woud be the right way to go about it since she would be opening herself up to having children (something she is also not sure that she ever wants to have). My "friend" has a hard time even letting the love of her life get close to her because of what has happened to her and despite going to multiple therapists- she can't even handle going through a pelvic exam. How is my "friend" ever going to be able to get close to a man without having a panic attack like she usually does. It's like being a perpetual virgin without all the temptation... erplexed



I JUST SAW YOUR POST.  I WOULD SUGGEST PRAYER AND DOING EVERYTHING YOUR FRIEND CAN DO TO LET GO OF THE PAST.  I WILL SAY A PRAYER.


----------



## Everything Zen

caligirl2385 said:


> I JUST SAW YOUR POST. I WOULD SUGGEST PRAYER AND DOING EVERYTHING YOUR FRIEND CAN DO TO LET GO OF THE PAST. I WILL SAY A PRAYER.


 
Thank you for the support! I er- I mean my "friend" appreciates all the support.


----------



## crlsweetie912

JenFleets said:


> Thank you for the support! I er- I mean my "friend" appreciates all the support.


Please believe in your heart of hearts (I mean your friend) that GOD CAN HEAL EVERYTHING!!!!  I know from experience.  Don't rush healing and deliverance.  God's timing is perfect.  Please seek Him in all these areas (trust, faith, friendship, openness) and allow HIM to lead you.  I will be praying for you.

March 2008 will make 5 years for me!!


----------



## fuchsiastar

I usually just skip right over this sticky post, but for some reason today God is just whispering in my ear....about this very topic.  It feels good, though, because it's been such a long time since I've gotten direct instruction. I am being corrected right now. Although I don't think I am up for a challenge, I want to thank everyone who posted their testimony and encouraging words here, because it is helping me to reaffirm things that I already knew. ((((HUGS)))) to all of you!!


----------



## chinadoll

I'm a virgin, so this challenge is already in effect, but I'm soooo frustrated with myself because I don't want to be a virgin anymore. It's so frustrating that I cry some days. I know that sounds stupid but I feel like I'm holding out on something that holds no importance to me anymore. Sorry for being pessimstic, I just wanted to vent.


----------



## MissNatural

I understand where you're coming from... it's ok to vent!  I never thought I would be tired or even ashamed of being a virgin (at 23)... especially since I've been an active member of my church all my life.  I decided to be honest with God about my feelings even though I felt embarrassed telling him something He already knew.  I prayed and asked Him to help me desire to please Him before myself or others.  My feelings have not changed over night, but I know He's working with me.  You are so precious in God's sight.  Ask Him to help you realize and believe this. 

I saw this on a billboard once: VIRGIN... teach your kids it's not a dirty word.  

Take a look at these websites:
http://iamworththewait.com/index.html

Great article about WHY we should wait for marriage to have sex... we say we know why, but yet we don't practice what we preach.  Maybe we weren't taught the right things.  Anyway, it's a great article.  Be blessed!
http://themarriagebed.com/pages/sexuality/engaged/whywait.shtml


----------



## precious2Him

I want to be in this challenge. I am a virgin, I'm 19. And I can say that I am proud to be one, I am trying hard everyday to live the way Christ wants me to, sometimes it gets hard but I know with His help and Holy Spirit I can do it.


----------



## *Muffin*

I've been a life-long member of this challenge . I don't want to engage in the act of sex until I'm married. I hope the Big Man Upstairs is pleased with me .  I understand what it feels like to be ashamed to be a virgin.  I'm 20 years old and when people find out that I'm still one they look at me as if I'm some sort of freak!  It's sad that virginity is frowned upon at a certain age, but I'm not going to let that deter me from my resolve to keep mine until marriage.


----------



## *Muffin*

chinadoll said:


> I'm a virgin, so this challenge is already in effect, but I'm soooo frustrated with myself because I don't want to be a virgin anymore. It's so frustrating that I cry some days. I know that sounds stupid but I feel like I'm holding out on something that holds no importance to me anymore. Sorry for being pessimstic, I just wanted to vent.


 
I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel. It's not that I want to lose my virginity, but I realize that most guys out there nowadays expect you to have sex with them before marriage, and this saddens me. It makes me think that I'll never find that special someone that will wait for me. Just know that you aren't alone and that you are so worth the wait. You are precious in God's eyes and you deserve only good things and a good man that will wait for you and treat you with respect.


----------



## chinadoll

ccmuffingirl said:


> I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel. *It's not that I want to lose my virginity, but I realize that most guys out there nowadays expect you to have sex with them before marriage, and this saddens me. It makes me think that I'll never find that special someone that will wait for me*. Just know that you aren't alone and that you are so worth the wait. You are precious in God's eyes and you deserve only good things and a good man that will wait for you and treat you with respect.


 

This is how I feel. Thanks for your encouragement 

PS. I love your hair pics, you look like a cute doll. lol


----------



## *Muffin*

Aww...Thanks Chinadoll ! You look really cute, too .


----------



## BeautifulFlower

I just found this thread and I think I should join in. God called me to abstinence about over a month ago. I have slipped once but I dont plan to let that happened again. 

I am in a 3 year+, serious, committed relationship with a man I love very much. I know he plans to be married in the near future (next 2 - 3 years). He is supportive of me but its hard because we had been having sex since the day we meet (YES, I know its awful but obviously God had other plans for us). Its really hard because its not really him thats in need of the sex. ITS ME! I really enjoy it but only with him.erplexed I feel guilty and I am honestly afraid of God so I know this is something I have to do. We are working on rebuilding the foundation of our relationship so that maybe marriege would be our next big move together (learning the dynamics of love and respect, going to church once a month together, asking questions, learning the unique needs of a man and women). Its a start.

I just need more support from women that have been active and have now been called out to be abstinent. 

Pray for ME PLEASE!


----------



## lady_brown

I am so in. I kind of sort of started my own little internal challenge over a year ago, and I have remained abstinent ever since. I have not dated in a while either so I'm not sure if that disqualifies me. I just don't feel the need for dating or having sexual relations at the time. I have mastered patience. That is a quality I have learned is very important to have as a christian woman. My friends feel as though I do not display my true self...like it is abnomal to not desire sex, but out of all honesty I do not. I just wish curiosity had not taken the best of me when I was 19, because I would be able to still say I am a virgin. I have no regrets though, because mistakes are how we learn. I am praying for all of you, as I hope you are me. Our Journey continues...God Bless.


----------



## Opalsunset

Count me in too! I am 18, a virgin and I haven't ever dated before. By the Grace of God I want to whole heartedly go into this challenge until he brings me the man I am supposed to marry. It is very hard especially in this time and age to abstain from sexual immorality because it is all around us, but with faith and knowing Jesus is there with me every step of the way, I am able to keep my promise to Him, and myself.


----------



## AfroKink

I read thru this whole thread a while ago when I was a lurker.  I'm finally posting! YAY ME! I'm a virgin.  Made the conscious decision to remain a virgin until marriage when I was 18.  I put myself in some tricky situations which must not be repeated.  I'm not in a relationship now, which makes everything easier. I'll set boundaries when I get in my next relationship

Lys


----------



## Ivie184

MissAlyssa said:


> I read thru this whole thread a while ago when I was a lurker. I'm finally posting! YAY ME! I'm a virgin. *Made the conscious decision to remain a virgin until marriage when I was 18. I put myself in some tricky situations which must not be repeated. I'm not in a relationship now, which makes everything easier. I'll set boundaries when I get in my next relationship*
> 
> Lys


ITA with the bolded; we are in the same boat. Those same mistakes shall not be repeated again, in Jesus name.This is a great thread. Please count me in!!!!


----------



## cece22

Ok I am so excited to join this thread this surely pleases God. Colossians 3:5  "5Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[b] 7You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these:"

Need not say no more scriptures speak for themselves. Falling upon only eyes and hearts that will listen.


----------



## Amour

does the bible define sexually immorality


----------



## All_Me

KissKiss said:


> does the bible define sexually immorality


 
From the Holman Bible Dictionary 

*IMMORALITY *
Any illicit sexual activity outside of marriage. Both in the Old Testament and in the New Testament the word has a figurative meaning as well, referring to idolatry or unfaithfulness to God. Immorality is a sin against God (1 Cor. 3:16-17; 6:15-20; 1 Thess. 4:3-8) 

http://www.netpluscom.com/~johnsonr/sex.html

HTH


----------



## Amz87

Hey hey,

Love this thread. I'm an LHCF newbie and I'm glad to see there's more than just hair talk going on. I've made mistakes in the past, but like someone said: "New beginnings" 1 Corinthians 5:17. 
So I'm all up for this challenge. I've got a little contract in a Christian magazine I bought, I've been reluctant to sign it in the past, however I have now, for the mental support, i guess. And this thread helps too, cas i know I'm not alone. 
God bless you all and may He continue to give us strength to stand in Jesus Name.


----------



## Hair Iam

I'm a married lady my self and after reading all your post I just wanted to let you know, I'm proud of all of you ..God bless all your efforts to be obedient to him and to your future mates. I wanted to share that even in marriages we still have to abstain from sexually impure thoughts and deeds, from masturbation and phonography... so don't believe the enemy disa pears when you get married . What's most important is " when we are weak, if we allow Christ he will be strong in us. The blood of Jesus Christ on you all.


----------



## KynkiChyck

*Sexual Fasting-A Time to Purify the Flesh*

*I'm in this to win it

The fragrance of a man is enough yeast to make my flesh rise...but I am happy to say that----------------------------------------------

I've abstained from sex for a LONG TIME, and as picky as I am....:scratchchI'll be packing a big lunch, because it will be a great while b4 I become as one with my Mr. Righteous.

One of the most challenging aspects of this "sexual fast" is trying to acquaint yourself with a man who truly wants to know you for your internal and spiritual qualities...I think the best way to approach this is by simply being his friend.  Emotion is a unique feeling that we cannot allow ourselves to become physically intoxicated with****...**it will cloud judgment, then God will shower His wrath upon our heads 

Glory to all the ladies who are still going strong, I will pray diligently for your success...and remember-when you feel the temptation creepin up on ya, ask the Lord to help you wipe those naughty thoughts away.

God bless!
*


----------



## NGraceO

This _is_ indeed a *beautiful* thread. *Hallelujah!* I am soooo in lol. I have been for about 18 years now LOL! Virgin checkin in


----------



## *KP*

To the non-virgins on the thread....how do you keep your mind off it and stay focused?


----------



## joy1181

I'm in and I love this thread


----------



## fivefoursweetie

special_k said:


> To the non-virgins on the thread....how do you keep your mind off it and stay focused?



It was definately a process for me, but the biggest thing that helped, was to focus on what I should do while I am single:
"An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord ... An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit."
1 Cor 7:32,34

So of course I wanted to know what pleased the Lord, and found that God says:
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
Matthew 6:33

So as I shifted my attention from my selfish desires, I started focusing on the kingdom and my purpose that God had me on this earth, and also my purpose in my season of singleness.  As I started seeking that, my relationship with God deepened and I less and less was thinking about what I wanted and desired, yet I was transformed into thinking about what God wanted of me.  To God be the glory, I have been celibate for 2 years and 7 months!!  And in the beginning I thought I would never say this, but I feel more fulfilled and at peace in my life now, than when I was having sex and doing things my way.
I hope this helps.


----------



## long2short2_?

fivefoursweetie said:


> It was definately a process for me, but the biggest thing that helped, was to focus on what I should do while I am single:
> "An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord ... An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit."
> 1 Cor 7:32,34
> 
> So of course I wanted to know what pleased the Lord, and found that God says:
> "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
> Matthew 6:33
> 
> So as I shifted my attention from my selfish desires, I started focusing on the kingdom and my purpose that God had me on this earth, and also my purpose in my season of singleness.  As I started seeking that, my relationship with God deepened and I less and less was thinking about what I wanted and desired, yet I was transformed into thinking about what God wanted of me.  To God be the glory, I have been celibate for 2 years and 7 months!!  And in the beginning I thought I would never say this, but I feel more fulfilled and at peace in my life now, than when I was having sex and doing things my way.
> I hope this helps.



your testimony is truely an inspiration to me. i have just taken a vow of celibacy about 2 weeks ago and its soo hard for me to stay focused. but i know this is something i have to do for it is the one thing keeping me from my inheritance. Sex was my precious sin that i could not let go of, but the power of prayer can do anything. I realized how sad i was without a connection to my father and all the sex in the world wasnt going to make me feel better. God is so good and it'll be only through his amazing power and grace that i will remain celibate past my college years until i am married to the man he brings me


----------



## Amz87

fivefoursweetie said:


> It was definately a process for me, but the biggest thing that helped, was to focus on what I should do while I am single:
> "An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord ... An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit."
> 1 Cor 7:32,34
> 
> So of course I wanted to know what pleased the Lord, and found that God says:
> "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
> Matthew 6:33
> 
> So as I shifted my attention from my selfish desires, I started focusing on the kingdom and my purpose that God had me on this earth, and also my purpose in my season of singleness.  As I started seeking that, my relationship with God deepened and I less and less was thinking about what I wanted and desired, yet I was transformed into thinking about what God wanted of me.  To God be the glory, I have been celibate for 2 years and 7 months!!  And in the beginning I thought I would never say this, but I feel more fulfilled and at peace in my life now, than when I was having sex and doing things my way.
> I hope this helps.



That's really inspiring. I have been celebate for over a year now. I joined this challenge a while back, but I haven't been back to this thread since I joined the challenge almost 3 months ago. In the last two days, I keep coming across 1 Cor 7:32,34, and hearing about devoting my entire self to God, and waiting on him etc. I believe God wants to teach me what it means to wait for his will now and give me the grace to do it properly. 
I've always felt really inadequate because I was unfaithful and not a virgin anymore and always think I'm going to get punished for it so I'm just waiting for that to happen. God delivered me from those thoughts yesterday, when I was praying and asking for forgiveness (yet again). God lead me to Isaiah 57. Particularly verses 15 - 18 

_From the Good news version_
I live in a high and holy place,
but also with him who is contrite (repentant)  and lowly (humble) in spirit
to revive the spirit of the lowly (humble) and to revive
the heart of the contrite (repentant)

I will not accuse you for ever
nor will I always be angry
for then the spirit of man would grow faint before me ......
(we'll feel, it's impossible, so why bother)

_and then in verse 18_
I have seen his/(her) ways, but I will heal him/(her); 
I will guide him/(her) and restore comfort to him/(her).

Right after my prayer session, i went HT and found a group for ladies waiting for God's will, today, I got a notification when the latest update in the thread (above). So I have no doubt, It's time for another journey. I'm grateful to God that he's decided to take me through it and I'm somewhat excited because it means the prize will be sooo worth it. 

Please pray, for me, that God will give me strength and uphold me, and help me to really seek him and fulfill His purpose for me while I'm still single.

So if anyone else is feeling inadequate and beat up about past mistakes, find comfort in God's word and don't let the devil fool you with that "once a theif, always a theif"  nonsense!

God bless.


----------



## *KP*

...how about non-virgins in a relationship?


----------



## Ms. Vea

Im a newbee and I am in for the challenge, I know it is the middle of the yr but hey its never to late to start anything espically for GOD


----------



## chicacanella

Pray for me to stay abstinent and have a focused mind in and out of a relationship. Pray that I guard what goes in and out of my ears and eyes because certain music and things you watch can make you weaker I believe.

Thanks


----------



## Ramya

chicacanella said:


> Pray for me to stay abstinent and have a focused mind in and out of a relationship. Pray that I guard what goes in and out of my ears and eyes because certain music and things you watch can make you weaker I believe.
> 
> Thanks


 
I'll pray for you, if you'll do the same for me. I've been trying to guard my ears but at work I don't control the station so a lot of unholy stuff has been getting into my spirit and well... celibacy has been a lot harder lately. I'm almost 2 years in and want to remain that way until marriage. So praying ladies, I need yall to help me out.


----------



## BeautifulFlower

6 weeks strong and going.....


----------



## NGraceO

Congratualtions to all giving this chanllenge their all, and succedding. Also to those who have fallen, but who have gotten back up! You ladies are truly wonderful, God Bless!!


----------



## missjanelleb

Hi everyone, I'm new, but have been abstinent for 3 years and 2 1/2 months. I'm in.


----------



## chicacanella

amerikan said:


> I'll pray for you, if you'll do the same for me. I've been trying to guard my ears but at work I don't control the station so a lot of unholy stuff has been getting into my spirit and well... celibacy has been a lot harder lately. I'm almost 2 years in and want to remain that way until marriage. So praying ladies, I need yall to help me out.


 

I will. The problem with me is that when I workout, I need energetic fast-paced music so I listen to alot of R'B songs but I try to cut off the lyrics if they are saying something wrong.  I don't know if that really helps but now I have been trying to use youtube as a way to navigate my secular music selections but I have slipped up a couple of times and listened to some "bad" songs.

Also, pray that I get over this man I developed an attachment too. I don't know what it is about him but he seriously had me doubting I could go through with this celibacy journey. I can't help it but I still do have deep feelings for him but I think with prayer they are going away. I kind of still want to be with him though, although I'm not sure we are equally yoked.

this is definitely something God will have to help me with.


----------



## Akemi

I am in!!!


----------



## nappysunflowers

This may be a challenge for me...

It will be hard because I tried to be celibate before, and it didn't go well. I was in a four year relationship and I thought I was supposed to have to keep him happy. Keep him from cheating. Keep him from porn. Strip clubs I could deal with because he had the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth. Stand by your man, right? I cooked, cleaned, read his horrible case presentations for work...

 No one wants to be lonely.  

You know what? I tried it my way for years, and I am itching closer to spinsterhood. Anyone have some spare cats???

I didn't realize that I was just looking for the wrong thing. I didn't let God steer things. I thought I could do it myself. I was wrong...

I don't know if marriage is in the cards for me. It may be, and it may not.I know peace of mind is and that is enough for me. It would allow me to focus on other things, and allow for other things (more positive things) to enter my life. 

I don't want much. Someone who will treat me right. Who will appreciate me for me. Someone I can be soft, pink, and feminine with. Someone who appreciate museums, concerts not sponsored by a radio station, dinners with no meat or cartoon mascots or being pitched by Guy Fieri. You don't have to be a tree hugging vegetarian, but don't jump on me because I am. (I can't stand TGI Friday's: too much sugar coated meat). Someone who doesn't see home cooking as microwaving beef taquitos. Someone who has good credit (it's a Bush ecomony), someone who will read a book not just a magazine. Someone who will pray. Someone who if he needs to will cry. Soemone who will go to and stay in the gym. Someone who doesn't think a hike in the mountains is gay or for white people. Someone who watches more than ESPN. Someone who doesn't watch 6 hours of TV a day. Someone who will be a God fearing man and won't put his hands on me in an offensive manner. 

I haven't found that person yet. Sorry about the rant. It just popped into my head. 

I'm in.  It's time to get in the passenger seat. 
Blessings.
Nic


----------



## Duchesse

nappysunflowers said:


> This may be a challenge for me...
> 
> It will be hard because I tried to be celibate before, and it didn't go well. I was in a four year relationship and I thought I was supposed to have to keep him happy. Keep him from cheating. Keep him from porn. Strip clubs I could deal with because he had the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth. Stand by your man, right? I cooked, cleaned, read his horrible case presentations for work...
> 
> No one wants to be lonely.
> 
> You know what? I tried it my way for years, and I am itching closer to spinsterhood. Anyone have some spare cats???
> 
> I didn't realize that I was just looking for the wrong thing. I didn't let God steer things. I thought I could do it myself. I was wrong...
> 
> I don't know if marriage is in the cards for me. It may be, and it may not.I know peace of mind is and that is enough for me. It would allow me to focus on other things, and allow for other things (more positive things) to enter my life.
> 
> *I don't want much. Someone who will treat me right. Who will appreciate me for me. Someone I can be soft, pink, and feminine with. Someone who appreciate museums, concerts not sponsored by a radio station, dinners with no meat or cartoon mascots or being pitched by Guy Fieri. You don't have to be a tree hugging vegetarian, but don't jump on me because I am. (I can't stand TGI Friday's: too much sugar coated meat). Someone who doesn't see home cooking as microwaving beef taquitos. Someone who has good credit (it's a Bush ecomony), someone who will read a book not just a magazine. Someone who will pray. Someone who if he needs to will cry. Soemone who will go to and stay in the gym. Someone who doesn't think a hike in the mountains is gay or for white people. Someone who watches more than ESPN. Someone who doesn't watch 6 hours of TV a day.* Someone who will be a God fearing man and won't put his hands on me in an offensive manner.
> 
> I haven't found that person yet. Sorry about the rant. It just popped into my head.
> 
> I'm in.  It's time to get in the passenger seat.
> Blessings.
> Nic



I hope that when you find him, he has a brother that you can hook me up with. 

I will try my darndest to be in this challenge. I've been waffling way too long when it comes to abstinence, only to have my spirit distressed after having sex with someone who has never pledged any commitment to me. It really is hard when all you want is companionship and the flesh is weak and makes it easy to substitute sex with love and caring, a quick fix for loneliness, when your spirit knows that this isn't what God intended for you.


----------



## Jenaee

Duchesse said:


> I hope that when you find him, he has a brother that you can hook me up with.
> 
> I will try my darndest to be in this challenge. I've been waffling way too long when it comes to abstinence, only to have my spirit distressed after having sex with someone who has never pledged any commitment to me. It really is hard when all you want is companionship and the flesh is weak and makes it easy to substitute sex with love and caring, a quick fix for loneliness, when your spirit knows that this isn't what God intended for you.


 

It's like you were reading my thoughts. I feel the same exact way. It's a real struggle for me. That lack of companionship feeling is what is my downfall at times.


----------



## CosmopolitanChic

Poohbear said:


> I'm a virgin as well but I've engaged in sexual thoughts,nakedness, and touching before. At the start of this year, my long-term boyfriend and I stopped all that MESS! We thank the Lord each day for delivering us.  We hardly even kiss anymore!


 
That is wonderful, I am so glad that you have made that commitment. That is great and I really commend you and your fiance for that. Sex w/o love and marriage  is not at all what it is cooked up to be. I have been celibate for 8 years, but sometimes my mind wanders, but it is my commitment to Christ and my love for myself that sustains me. I was just sick and tired of the mess , empty promises and no fulfillment, no respect. 
And why should they, if you do not repect your own self and body...


----------



## CosmopolitanChic

nappysunflowers said:


> This may be a challenge for me...
> 
> It will be hard because I tried to be celibate before, and it didn't go well. I was in a four year relationship and I thought I was supposed to have to keep him happy. Keep him from cheating. Keep him from porn. Strip clubs I could deal with because he had the attention span of a ferret on crystal meth. Stand by your man, right? I cooked, cleaned, read his horrible case presentations for work...
> 
> No one wants to be lonely.
> 
> You know what? I tried it my way for years, and I am itching closer to spinsterhood. Anyone have some spare cats???
> 
> I didn't realize that I was just looking for the wrong thing. I didn't let God steer things. I thought I could do it myself. I was wrong...
> 
> I don't know if marriage is in the cards for me. It may be, and it may not.I know peace of mind is and that is enough for me. It would allow me to focus on other things, and allow for other things (more positive things) to enter my life.
> 
> I don't want much. Someone who will treat me right. Who will appreciate me for me. Someone I can be soft, pink, and feminine with. Someone who appreciate museums, concerts not sponsored by a radio station, dinners with no meat or cartoon mascots or being pitched by Guy Fieri. You don't have to be a tree hugging vegetarian, but don't jump on me because I am. (I can't stand TGI Friday's: too much sugar coated meat). Someone who doesn't see home cooking as microwaving beef taquitos. Someone who has good credit (it's a Bush ecomony), someone who will read a book not just a magazine. Someone who will pray. Someone who if he needs to will cry. Soemone who will go to and stay in the gym. Someone who doesn't think a hike in the mountains is gay or for white people. Someone who watches more than ESPN. Someone who doesn't watch 6 hours of TV a day. Someone who will be a God fearing man and won't put his hands on me in an offensive manner.
> 
> I haven't found that person yet. Sorry about the rant. It just popped into my head.
> 
> I'm in.  It's time to get in the passenger seat.
> Blessings.
> Nic


 
God Bless you !!!It is ok to rant, because we are here to listen!!!Lets all support one another, I believe it is God's will for us to marry. YOU are a beautiful person with a beautiful spirit, let God connect you. Appreciate yourself first, love yourself, uplift yourself, can no one love you like yourself and GOD, but guess what? He has that special man for you, that will love you more that you love yourself, he will have to , because you become as one, however there is a catch....IF you let GOD send him. I'm not speaking of a supernatural thing where he will drop down from heaven in your lap, but a simple supernatural thing , where you will be in the position to receive that special man that GOD has for you and you alone. I do not know when it will happen, but it will when you put your faith to work and you get into the word of GOD, so that you will know who he is..believe me it will happen....please be encouraged


----------



## DivineNapps1728

Thank God for this post! I'm sooooo in!


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## LiberianGirl

chicacanella said:


> Pray for me to stay abstinent and have a focused mind in and out of a relationship. Pray that I guard what goes in and out of my ears and eyes because certain music and things you watch can make you weaker I believe.
> 
> Thanks



I will pray that you have the strength to cut out things in your life that is interfering with your abstinence. I had to stop listening to secular music and certain movies. This REALLY has helped me.


----------



## curlcomplexity

Hello!  Can I please join?  I've been abstinent for about a year now, but I would love to have the support of you wonderful ladies.


Great thread BTW


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## cupcakes

im in!


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## xquizit01

Count me in!


----------



## HeChangedMyName

I know this challenge is upteen years old, but I think I need this.  that ugly black devil is rearing his head and trying to steal my abstinence away.  Trying to lure me in by way of smooth talk and stuff and stuff.  I want to save myself for marriage.  I already have children out of wedlock and thus, I have tasted the forbidden fruit of premarital sex so for me, it is especially difficult.  I will do my best and follow the challenge until marriage.


----------



## honeyflaava

I don't know if this has been mentioned or not, but everyone should check out Worth the Wait This is a sexual purity ministry begun by an awesome young minister of God from my church named Dr. Lindsay Marsh.  Read up on her bio and get her book "The Best Sex of My Life: A Guide to Purity" it will definitely bless you!!


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## Ms.Nigeria

I'm in....


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## simplynea

I want to say that it is hard to really remain steadfast in one's personal journey to abstain from sex, especially after being sexually active. It takes true courage to step outside of today's society, which focuses on sex so much, and embrace abstinence. My own life experiences have taught me that NO SEX leads to NO DRAMA. Although, there may be a little issue here or there, it ceases quickly. I dated a guy in July '08 who was obviously expecting a big return for taking me out on a few dates. When he realized I had no plans on getting in bed with him, he was gone. I was fine with that, no one is worth me losing what I have gained by being celibate. I will be 7 months celibate as of 09-15-08. It was funny to run into the same guy during Labor Day weekend, looking for his next lady of the night outside of a local nightclub. He wasn't ready for me, and I can accept that! 

"It's one thing to be selfish and an entirely different thing to love yourself enough to demand respect." ~Unwritten~


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## Lanea87

I want in. I am so up for this. I havent had "any" since 7/08, I know that it hasnt been long but I have made up my mind. I am in this for the long haul. Its easier when you are focused on certain things and you have ppl that understand the same (you ladies). So I am ready.


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## Ramya

How's everybody doing? 

School just started and temptation is everywhere. I've been good so far. It helps that I don't entertain in my bedroom nor do I "go home" with males. The best thing Ive ever done for my celibacy is to keep things public. I doubt I'll be interested in having sex in the middle of the bowling alley


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## Lanea87

^^LOL, that is the best way.


----------



## PGirl

Wow I am shocked to see a challenge like this. I am currently 2.5 years and counting...I probably don't need a challenge anymore however; now it's easy....I refuse to let any man take advantage of me. I'm happy with that decision. It's not even tough for me anymore. 

Often my girlfriends tell me that I should just "get some". Bad advise doesn't even phase me. I just laugh and tell them NO WAY...I can wait


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## Lanea87

^^^See you got in down packed. But you can come and motivate some of us that have only been in the game for a few months.


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## HeChangedMyName

Ladies, my challenge is going great.  I recently went through a month long workshop that has backed up me being abstinent.  It was about women being the gatekeepers to their own health and that of their family.  We learned about all sorts of STD's and prevention of them.  We learned the truth about some aweful myths.  And near the end we got introduced to a person living with full blown AIDS.  It was one of our facilitators. 

While she got HIV from her husband who was a hemopheliac and had received tainted blood, she still has a hard time doing things as she would if she were not a victim of this disease.  We learned some statistics and it is shocking that black women are the ones getting this disease---from people who 'look' safe.  

Well, I for one have been blessed by God to have had unprotected sex in my lifetime and to have walked out of it with a clean bill of health.  I am going to keep it that way.  Until I am married, and even then, I still want my future spouse to get a full health screening, I wont have sex


----------



## simplynea

I had a couple of  very close people to me that passed in the early '90s from AIDS. I was a young girl in elementary school, and that shocked my world. Throughout my dating experiences, I keep that in the back of my mind. That is why people sometimes call me old-fashioned, but I don't care. I just value my life more than a M.O.P.(Moment of Passion). When I decided in February to be celibate, I made one of the best decisions in my lifetime.


----------



## Ramya

I have very ahem *vivid* dreams from time to time. Well I turned AWAY 2 fine men in my dreams.  We would be cuddling or something and they would "try me" and I would tell them to leave. ! a sista can't get any in her dreams either


----------



## NGraceO

alabama said:


> I have very ahem *vivid* dreams from time to time. Well I turned AWAY 2 fine men in my dreams.  We would be cuddling or something and they would "try me" and I would tell them to leave. ! a sista can't get any in her dreams either


 
LOL!!!!! Who YOU telling....I been having weird dream like that too....ha!


----------



## 1CocoaTexan

Hey Ladies, I'm new to the site as a signed member.  Each time in the past, I've enjoyed coming to LHCF for hair of course, lol, but also to be spiritually fed.  Thank you Ms. Sugaplum for being the vessel that God is using to minister to us.  My dad told me once, that experience is the best teacher.  I'd like to put my spin on it & say that Experience is one of God's teachers.  Though, we live in a fallen world, we don't live like the world.  There are times when the enemy will convince us that his way is better, but we must be mindful of what Jesus said in Luke 4:3 "And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.".  Too many people are accepting their life's definition by society & the thoughts of others, however, as my pastor shared with us once, "Measure yourself by Christ."  Sisters, celibacy in its most simplest form, to me means, clarity between God & his daughter.  Be blessed & remember, God never makes mistakes!


----------



## Mis007

Would love to join this challenge...​


----------



## girlcherokee

wow!  just wandered over here and i am so pleasantly surprised to see you ladies moving in the right direction in life!!! i offer you my prayers, blessing and encouragement!!!  I am proud of you!


----------



## Aggie

I'm in this challenge too ladies. I have been okay but it's good, no great to have support and to give it. Waiting God's way for a lifelong mate (husband) is well worth every effort.


----------



## Lanea87

I am still going strong here, how are you ladies doing?


----------



## Charieamor

I'm new to this challenge and totally in! (and yes im a newbie to lhcf) 
Sadly I'm not a virgin, but I will still claim victory in the lords name because he has all power! no matter the circumstance!


----------



## Ms.Nigeria

I am dyinggggggggggggggg. i so want to get laiderplexed.


----------



## Duchesse

Ms.Nigeria said:


> I am dyinggggggggggggggg. i so want to get laiderplexed.


 
I'm sorry but your bluntness just killed me 

For me the urge comes and goes, for the most part I only get the fever when Aunt Flo comes into town. Its also easy because I am not dating anyone. That's my main problem, when I'm single, I can repress my feelings, and I can be single for years with no worries, I don't even masturbate (TMI?)

But let me date someone, and I realize that I am severely lacking in the self control dept....severely .

Since I made the commitment to myself and God that the next man who I sleep with is going to be my husband, I'm making sure to not even entertain a man who is not seriously searching for a committed partnership. 

 I haven't reached the point yet where I am fully convinced that I will not fall into temptation...oooohhhsaaaa.... so for now, I'm not trying to date until I become stronger spiritually.


----------



## Ramya

Ms.Nigeria said:


> I am dyinggggggggggggggg. i so want to get laiderplexed.



girl you and me both. I'm good though. I haven't been in a compromising situation yet so yay for me lol. I'm such a sexual person that I don't know how to turn it off. I'm dying LOL 2.3 years strong


----------



## bubasdhter

Hey to everyone! I am new to LHCF. I am signing on. I really need to re-commit myself. I am doing well thus far, but encouragement is ALWAYS helpful.


----------



## Iammoney

ha ha i got you guys beat im 10 years 7 months and 1 day im somewhat proud of it but im ready to get married and liberate myself. Lord Jesus that husband you have for me better be ready to take two weeks off from work he's gonna need it


----------



## bubasdhter

I am still hanging in there!  How is everyone else doing?


----------



## Jenaee

I fell :-( But i'm back on track!!!!


----------



## a_ caribbean_dream

Omygoodness it is *time *for me to join this challenge!!!  

I haven't had sexual intercourse before but I am on that dangerous slippery slope and I need to be held accountable in some way before I do anything else further!  Denial is such a bad thing and for awhile I have seem to have these thoughts that I am invincible and I can fight my flesh.  I am going to try my best from this day forth to live purely in body and spirit.

AMEN.


----------



## LadyAmani

i would love to join this challenge, i asked that you ladies please pray for me because im trying to be a better person and get my life together. I dont need sex or impure thoughts keeping me from the kingdom of heaven.


----------



## Lanea87

I am stilling going good, I have met a guy thats so sweet (well actually I have been knowing him going on a year) and I have already told him my plan and so far he is cool with it. Lets see how this will go....


----------



## chicacanella

Duchesse said:


> I'm sorry but your bluntness just killed me
> 
> For me the urge comes and goes, for the most part I only get the fever when Aunt Flo comes into town. Its also easy because I am not dating anyone. That's my main problem, when I'm single, I can repress my feelings, and I can be single for years with no worries, I don't even masturbate (TMI?)
> 
> But let me date someone, and I realize that I am severely lacking in the self control dept....severely .
> 
> Since I made the commitment to myself and God that the next man who I sleep with is going to be my husband, I'm making sure to not even entertain a man who is not seriously searching for a committed partnership.
> 
> I haven't reached the point yet where I am fully convinced that I will not fall into temptation...oooohhhsaaaa.... so for now, I'm not trying to date until I become stronger spiritually.


 
*Oh good, I'm glad I'm not the only one that gets that way but mine is during ovulation.*

*I don't think that I am lacking in self control as far as dating but it is more of having a man that can be strong enough to not try and tempt me pass kissing. That's why I am not letting any man come into my life for "fun" or who isn't on the same page as me about celibacy. I don't want someone to tolerate or put up with me. I want them to be striving for the same thing.*

*As I was laying in bed last night, I was crying thinking about all the men who have come into my life just for one thing. How I was foolish and always picked the wrong ones and really couldn't blame anyone but myself. I mean, "Is that all I'm worth to you-what's between my legs?" I just want a man to love me for me, to try and get to know me and respect my wishes. A man that strives for the same things I do.*


----------



## Duchesse

chicacanella said:


> *,* *I was crying thinking about all the men who have come into my life just for one thing. How I was foolish and always picked the wrong ones and really couldn't blame anyone but myself*.* I mean, "Is that all I'm worth to you-what's between my legs?" I just want a man to love me for me, to try and get to know me and respect my wishes. A man that strives for the same things I do.*


 
I really feel you. I've been feeling a bit depressed recently because I keep thinking about this one particular guy, the last man I dated. As I replay our time together in my head, I feel like I was so stupid and weak in our dealings, and didn't respect myself-physically and spiritually. I made my body way too accessible to him too soon. I've never felt used before like this, and it sucks. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time getting over him.

Even though I know it takes two to tango, I feel like I should have been stronger and more responsible, and keep blaming myself. But at the same time I'm happy that we are no longer dating. This heartache in a way was like a final straw for me, and made me stop running from God and start running towards him.

The ironic thing is before I met him I was striving for a better relationship with God, and when we started dating, guess who I thought less and less about? I know now that I cannot substitute a fleshly/temporary relationship for one with God, it ain't gonna happen!

Good luck to all you wonderful ladies!! Because we are striving to be righteous when it is so easy to do otherwise, I truly believe God will bless us.


----------



## phynestone

I fell off and I'm so embarassed. It won't happen again since I'm swearing off men. For good.


----------



## cupcakes

I am rejoining this challenge. I slipped up but now my life is back on track. I am blessed to have a wonderful christian  boyfriend who has the same goals. Hopefully we will be able to abstain


----------



## melodies815

Ohhhh...this is such a beautiful thread.  I know I am not a part of this challenge...but I just wanted to encourage all of us who are trying to live for the Lord.  

Only 2 things:  

(1)  Be wary of trying to abstain only because it is good to do.  We are saved unto good works...so when we abstain from sexual impurity, it is for the love of the Lord alone. Anything else will ultimately lead to falling.  I ALWAYS fell when I did this.  I ALWAYS remained pure when my only motivation was to live a life that would make the Lord smile.

(2)  Do everything for God and God alone.


I lost my virginity to rape and molestation, and then on top of that made some really dumb decisions.  That's part of my personal testimony and doesn't shame me in the least today.  I had no control over that.  I was such a hurt young lady...and with every man who came into my life, I felt worse and worse...until I really, really met the Father...understood how deep His love is for me.  He did not with-hold a husband from me until I was perfect;  He DID with-hold the husband until I knew how much He loved me.  There is no single action that can make us presentable to the Father.  The only thing that cleanses is the Word of God....JESUS CHRIST.  When we trust Him...in our fallings and gettings-up, the process of living holy becomes so much easier....less laden with the need to "be" something we can never be.  We can be holy, but it's not because of us; it is only because of the redemptive work of Christ. That's the only thing in life to understand; all else follows this one, central fact.

So...Please don't feel depressed when you fall - AND DON'T MAKE IT A LIFESTYLE EITHER!!!  Just tell yourself, your flesh, and the enemy that you are human and you still love the Lord and that tomorrow is a new day.  You will learn to submit all over again the instant the falling is over.  The INSTANT!  As we are learning, we make mistakes, and eventually we master one or two areas only to find the new areas.

I mastered abstinence only to struggle in a major way with pride and fear and rejection...it goes on and on and on...

And God is faithful over it all.  Thank You, Lord!

Please be encouraged in 2009 and for the rest of your lives.  I am on the other side of abstinence now but my journey is EXACTLY the same as yours.  Matter of fact...I am joining this challenge...

...but I will be abstaining from my mouth and the need to make excuses to DH.


The Lord's precious and immeasurable love to us all...
Your sister,
Christi J.


----------



## life_is_great

Duchesse said:


> I really feel you. I've been feeling a bit depressed recently because I keep thinking about this one particular guy, the last man I dated. As I replay our time together in my head, I feel like I was so stupid and weak in our dealings, and didn't respect myself-physically and spiritually. I made my body way too accessible to him too soon. I've never felt used before like this, and it sucks. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time getting over him.
> 
> Even though I know it takes two to tango, I feel like I should have been stronger and more responsible, and keep blaming myself. But at the same time I'm happy that we are no longer dating. This heartache in a way was like a final straw for me, and made me stop running from God and start running towards him.
> 
> The ironic thing is before I met him I was striving for a better relationship with God, and when we started dating, guess who I thought less and less about? I know now that I cannot substitute a fleshly/temporary relationship for one with God, it ain't gonna happen!
> 
> Good luck to all you wonderful ladies!! Because we are striving to be righteous when it is so easy to do otherwise, I truly believe God will bless us.



Don't beat yourself up.  I've been there too, very recently.  Yes I fell off the wagon, but I am back on now.  We learn from our mistakes so don't allow yourself to fall into condemnation.  God has forgiven you, now you must forgive yourself.


----------



## Lanea87

I fell off....


----------



## Highly Favored8

I am still doing so far so good. It feels good for me to wait until marriage. For me it feels extra special and to share with a man who feels the same way =)


----------



## a_ caribbean_dream

I have been realizing lately that I have to keep my mind pure as well as my body.  

This challenge is so serious.  Every little step, everything we do, every crack we leave open for temptation affects us.  I have been guarding my heart and my body as the Word of God says.  But I just let things run *WILD *in my mind.  And that can lead to me making the same mistakes as before and breaking the vows I made to God.  Let's keep each other in prayer ladies.


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## Ramya

Hey guys! Time is moving so fast. I never thought I'd be here. I'm still going strong and haven't been tempted. Nothing and nobody is good enough for me to lose the love of my Father. NOBODY! By loving myself, I love Him. I was journaling when I realized that nobody will ever love me as much as my Father. The least I can do is try my hardest to be who he designed me to be. As a single, my mind should be on Him and only Him. Being pure in mind is just as important as being pure physically. This has certainly been a journey and I've learned a lot about myself in the process. 2009 is another year of devotion for me. Hope everybody is doing and feeling good.


----------



## cocoaluv

I am interested in this challenge however IDK about the whole "until marriage part". I dont think I can follow it exactly how its stated in the OP but I will abstain until I am in a healthy and commited relationship ( engaged/heading towards engagement). I know its against the original post but I'm being honest with myself.

Good luck ladies!


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## Ivie184

I'm still going strong; everything is going very well for me.


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## Irresistible

might as well curl up with a blanket and read this thread

I aint curling up nowhere else


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## Rapunzel*

i would love to join this challenge. i do want to wait until marriage, and i will. im headed for my second year abstinent and i plan for it to be that way until i get married ^_^


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## NappturalWomyn

2008 didn't work out quite like I had hoped on every level on my life possible, except my hair (go figure). I decided to recommit myself in 2009 to being completely abstinent. If my current SO can't hang, he can leave. Period.


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## Mis007

Rapunzel* said:


> i would love to join this challenge. i do want to wait until marriage, and i will. im headed for my *second year abstinent* and i plan for it to be that way until i get married ^_^


 
_Congratulations Rapunzel....I am still hanging on in there....._


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## akilijata

I am so glad I signed in tonight. I am in this with you ladies. I will be getting married August 1st and desire to remain celibate. I fell and now I'm vowing to stay true to my word. I have been the aggressive one and he truly wants us to abstain until we get married. Please pray for me ladies. I really want to do this!!! God bless you all and I'm standing with you for the victory. We will do this ladies! We will with the help of our wonderful Lord and Savior!!


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## Renewed1

I have been practicing abstience for about 3 years now.  Mainly because I wasn't ready to be in a relationship at the time.  Now that I'm ready for a realtionship and my mind is made up; I'm waiting until marriage to make love.


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## danigurl18

Sign me up please...


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## BrandNew

alabama said:


> Hey guys! Time is moving so fast. I never thought I'd be here. I'm still going strong and haven't been tempted. Nothing and nobody is good enough for me to lose the love of my Father. NOBODY! By loving myself, I love Him. I was journaling when I realized that nobody will ever love me as much as my Father. The least I can do is try my hardest to be who he designed me to be. As a single, my mind should be on Him and only Him. Being pure in mind is just as important as being pure physically. This has certainly been a journey and I've learned a lot about myself in the process. 2009 is another year of devotion for me. Hope everybody is doing and feeling good.


 
 ITA. Absolutely! I have been abstinent for almost two years now and it has definitely been a journey, but I have grown so much spiritually, I can't and won't let Him down.


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## TrustMeLove

I absolutely LOVE this thread. Just because it's REAL. As Christians we aren't perefect, but are striviing to be more like our Father. Folks try to keep this type of WIDELY KNOWN business under the rug, but I truly appreciate the realness in this thread.

Now, I've been on this challenge for 24 years (that's how old I am lol) and plan to keep going strong until marriage. All powered by the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Funny thing at the beginning of this thread probably post 39/40 for me has someone in 2005 joining this challenge on April 21, 2005. She has a picture in her siggy saying she got married May 31, 2008.

AIN'T GOD GOOD! AIN'T HE?


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## nene 1

I am committing myself to this challenge right now! I've tried the whole celibacy thing before but the longest I've ever made it is 6 months. Recently GOD moved me from my home in the states all the way to the UK by myself and I realize now that this if for no other reason was for me to get it together, especially when  it comes to sex. I was one foot in and sex was the biggest thing holding me back. I am still a Babe in Christ, although not new to Church or religion. I just decided that this time I really want to live right for me and not my mama! With that being said, I will need lots of encouragement and guidance especially from those of you who have made it longer than 6 months  I'm only on month 1 now (I thought I moved to England for a guy  I figure thats exactly what God was doing when I thought that) i'm planning on waiting for marriage and so far I have not had the desire to have sex, however I do have impure (sp) thoughts but i'm working on it. So please send all forms of encouragement and prayers my way, and I will do the same for everyone in return


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## preciouzone

Hi Nene_1 - I will definitely keep you in my prayers. It all starts with
a decision ( just like the one you are making ), and making that commitment
with God and also submitting it all... your thoughts, emotions, desires unto 
Him and let Him deal with it. The battle truly isn't ours, it's the Lord and it's
been won! 

This journey is quite simple but not easy - Gotta take it one day at a time.

God bless you,

~ Preciouzone ~


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## mellowmel

I'm joining!


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## natural in ATL

Joining the challenge!  Not a virgin, but God knows I have a heart for Him and I will show it with not just words, but actions!!  Was in a long term relationship and we had our ups and downs in terms of engaging or abstaining from intercourse.  We were both in church and it was a horrible feeling going together on Sunday knowing what had gone down the week prior.  The longest we went without it was probably 3-4 months.  So now that we're not together (although I should have had the strength for this challenge before now) my mind is clear and I'm able to see with long-term vs. short-term vision.

BTW - just when I was making this decision... how about an ex (not my long term guy, someone else) sent me a text saying he wanted to get together to talk about "us" (we broke up b/c I wouldn't have a physical relationship with him)..NOT!! 

Be blessed ladies and thanks in advance for the support!


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## Mystic5605

This is the greatest thread.  Me and my long term boyfriend have struggle for a long time with abstinence and we have been able to succeed on and off.  This thread is reminding me that it is very possible for us to succeed and that God only wants whats best for us.


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## sunnysmyler

Having recently 3/8/2009 completing a 21 day fast with my church, I feel empowered and encouraged as never before, and I want to joing this challenge. I realize that it's "HOLINESS OR HELL" and quite frankly it feels good. Good to be obediant to the LORD and live in HIS will. So count me in. I just joing membership today, but read this thread the other day and was so encouraged from you other ladies!!!!


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## MizzCoco

I want to join. I've struggled with this since I came to Christ about a year ago. I need support! This forum has really been a blessing to me, as I learn to walk with Him in purity until my husband finds me. Ladies please pray for me


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## Empressive

I'm am joining the challenge!


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## BeautifulFlower

Rejoining...


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## Amour

Me and my SO have have just got back together after a 2.5 month break up. I believe God was letting us now that that our relationship is not going to work out properly if we disobey his word.

We thought it was OK before to have sex because we had made a committment to one another and prayed to God that we will be joined as one forever 

So now we are beginning the start of our new relationship with God in the driving seat 

It will be hard for us, especially him but I am determined to make this work. I ask you ladies to please pray for my SO, that he will be totally committed to this and that God speaks to him about it.

Any other ladies in relationships hows it going for you and your SO?


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## RavenMaven

I will definitely count myself in especially since I'm still a virgin. Go me.


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## varaneka

I've already been celibate for a while, but I want to officially join this challenge!

Song of Solomon 2:7- Sons and Daughters of God, don't awaken love until it pleases....Wait for God to send you the right person. Wait till you are married. Then love your spouse as you love the lord and so fulfill your calling to marriage as an example of his promises here on this earth.


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## scj816

Sex is so sacred and emotional that I can do nothing but wait until marriage to partake in it. I have been doing my own personal challenge (the promise I made to God to wait until marriage to have sex) of abstinence but it makes me happy that I can join up with my fellow Sisters in Christ and work towards a goal that will be so rewarding in the end. We will be so blessed in and out of our bed of marriage just for adhering to God's Word. I pray for all of your strength in this overly sexual charged society. Society preaches "have sex whenever you want", but we know the truth of the Word and will be rewarded greatly for following it! Peace and Blessings to everyone!


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## kimmy89

count me in this challenge.


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## divya

I'm definitely in.  I have exactly 1 year from tomorrow until marriage. We decided to get serious about living the Word. So my prayer is that we are united as one. 

It's wonderful to see all of you ladies keeping the faith. It's very encouraging. God bless you all!


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## Amour

Please pray for me and my SO, he is ALREADY saying we should do it one last time before he gets baptized 

When I tell him no, hes like OK, but I want him to be as determined as I am. He sees like, we gonna get married and because we prayed to God to allow us to be together forever, theres no problem .

Any scriptures, articles etc that I could pass on to him, to get him to understand where I am coming from more would be greatly appreciated


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## MamiWata

I'm in this.  I'm still a virgin, and it has been a long time, and it is a challenge, but I committed to this when I was 5 years old, and I renew my promise to God when I'm feeling temptation.  

For me, it's also about love of self.  Any man worth keeping will appreciate this and will marry you first.  But men have never had it so good.  Women are so loose today and that does not equal empowerment.  It's disgusting and it's discouraging, as if the whole world is lost.  But I know there are good Christian men out there--and I trust that I will find one, or God will lead one to me, eventually.  

I just wish I hadn't been so short-sighted these last 5-6 years, as my 20s have dwindled away, but I know those are only numbers, and I'm focused now so I trust I'll find a good husband soon because it really is hard waiting.


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## sunshinelove

Glad to have found some like minded sistahs! Sometimes it feels as if your a foreigner when it comes to celibacy and abstinence! There's power in waiting! I actually started a blog about this as well...celibacyblues.blogspot.com...Don't give up Ladies, as long as we keep our minds on the Lord we will make it!! Praise God!


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## sunshinelove

Girrrrl!!! I totally understand what you're going through but if he couldn't wait for you and respect your decisions and equally believe in your decision...He was not the one...But Just trust God, He knows all about the path that you take.


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## peaceluvnhairgrease

This is going to sound weird but i think virgins rock! They are sooo cool. I wish I was still one. I'm going join this challenge and stick thru it!


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## naturaline

v.good thread! im joinin;-)


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## Sosa

I'm in . It's HARD, but I'm shooting to never have premarital sex ever again.
Help me Jesus!


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## Ms Red

I'm back....


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## sunshinelove

I was thinking...maybe we could start a monthly/bi-monthly bible study/meeting or something as a support group to us who are doing this abstinence challenge. I think it helps when you are in the company of other like minded individuals. Just a thought!


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## Ramya

Hey ladies! I hope everyone is doing will with the challenge. Nothing's changed here except my attitude.  Here are some things that have helped me through the last couple of years. 

*~Understand that God gives us instruction for a reason.* He is not trying to make us miserable and he is not trying to make us miss anything. Please don't go into this kind of challenge thinking that you are missing something.

*~You are not going to wake up one day and stop liking sex and sexual activities.* It doesn't happen like that. It is a process that involves doing things on purpose. You can't will your way celibate.  The bible says that strongholds can't stand against HIS word. It didn't say anything about YOUR word. Speak His word and confess it over your life daily.
*
~Don't get comfortable.* Do not put yourself in questionable situations. You don't have to go into his house and he doesn't have to be in yours. You can enjoy each other's company away from the house. Don't act like yall don't know why. . Be smart yall. If you're not in the position for something to happen, nothing will. Remember you can't will your way celibate.

*~Don't play.*  Keep the touching and kissing PG. What's the point of getting 'hot' if you are trying to remain pure? That doesn't make sense at all. Even if you don't fail then, you will lust for him in your mind which will lead to failure. Guard your hands and your thoughts. --don't say I didn't tell yall that.

*~Be honest with God. *He knows what you're doing anyway. If the Holy Spirit came to live in you, who do you think is between you and old boy when all this stuff is going down? Yep the Holy Spirit.  And the bible clearly states that we are not to grieve the Holy Spirit. But that's exactly what you're doing. 

*~Be honest with yourself.* Remind yourself why you are celibate. It's a good thing remember... 

*~Address any issues that you may have*. Is physical intimacy filling a void in your life? Are you using this man/these men? Really dig deep and find out the real reasons you have sex. Remember that you were freed from bondage the minute you accepted God. 

*Do not be deceived*. 
*1 Corinthians 6:9-11*
9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 

*AND*

11 That is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.


You are not your past and it's not too late! Once God has forgiven you, forgive yourself! It's done and over with. Look forward and keep on going. 

Be blessed yall.


----------



## Duchesse

Ramya said:


> *
> ~Don't get comfortable.*
> 
> *~Don't play.*
> 
> *~Be honest with God.*
> 
> *~Address any issues that you may have*.



I needed to read this Ramya......you ain't neva lied about the above. It's a slippery, slippery, slope, and I almost slid on right off. 

......woosah.....


----------



## jasmineleann

I am joining! Thanks for the positive posts ladies!


----------



## Renewed1

So far so good for me.  Even though, I don't have a BF now it is still hard.

Especially around my period the desires are so hard to control.


----------



## nubiangoddess3

I  want to join, 'Im not a Christian or religious but I do feel and believe that sex is something to cherish and be done in marriage


----------



## natural in ATL

natural in ATL said:


> Joining the challenge! Not a virgin, but God knows I have a heart for Him and I will show it with not just words, but actions!! Was in a long term relationship and we had our ups and downs in terms of engaging or abstaining from intercourse. We were both in church and it was a horrible feeling going together on Sunday knowing what had gone down the week prior. The longest we went without it was probably 3-4 months. So now that we're not together (although I should have had the strength for this challenge before now) my mind is clear and I'm able to see with long-term vs. short-term vision.
> 
> BTW - just when I was making this decision... how about an ex (not my long term guy, someone else) sent me a text saying he wanted to get together to talk about "us" (we broke up b/c I wouldn't have a physical relationship with him)..NOT!!
> 
> Be blessed ladies and thanks in advance for the support!


 
Quick update...since March I have been dating and there was a strong pressure placed on me by a guy I had been seeing pretty consistently. I decided that it was not meant to be because God wouldn't have me end up with someone who was not respectful of my decision to WAIT. I stopped seeing him and met someone new in June. Ladies, I must say this is the only man I've ever met who I'm completely comfortable with, completely in love with and completely trust!! AND we've already had "the talk" and he wants to wait until marriage. By the way, he didn't just agree with me...he actually put it out there first so I know he's not just trying to act like he's down with my plan! Pressure's off - now all I have to do is keep my mind focused on God and be the best person I can be. God is so GOOD!!


----------



## fyb87

natural in ATL said:


> Quick update...since March I have been dating and there was a strong pressure placed on me by a guy I had been seeing pretty consistently. I decided that it was not meant to be because God wouldn't have me end up with someone who was not respectful of my decision to WAIT. I stopped seeing him and met someone new in June. Ladies, I must say this is the only man I've ever met who I'm completely comfortable with, completely in love with and completely trust!! AND we've already had "the talk" and he wants to wait until marriage. By the way, he didn't just agree with me...he actually put it out there first so I know he's not just trying to act like he's down with my plan! Pressure's off - now all I have to do is keep my mind focused on God and be the best person I can be. God is so GOOD!!


 
God is Good!  

I did come in here to join this challenge.  Being that I am divorced with a son I'm not a virgin!  I will say that being celibate really helps to eliminate men that may be only looking for one thing more quickly.  Because I usually tell them this upon our initial conversation.  I don't want to even waste my time going on a few dates with someone to try and ease it into a conversation.  Of course, it is a let down when someone lets me know that is not something they believe.  But, I appreciate the honesty.

I'm glad I found this thread as the only support I have is my mom and my brothers.  And uh....it's a little difficult to talk to my brothers about this sort of thing or have them talk to me.  Don't get me wrong I've done it as we try to support one another, but I am DEFINITELY apreciative to have found another option!!


----------



## nubiangoddess3

Ladies... My year of abstaining just went out the window, I should have known better, but the past is the past and I'm starting all over and be more careful this time


----------



## Raspberry

I've been having trouble abstaining in my thoughts lately - purity in the mind is just as important as purity in the body.  I feel much more balanced and open to hearing God's voice when I have self-control over my thought life. I'm glad there's a place we can discuss these things because it's hard for Christian women in real life to be honest about their sex lives or lust issues.  Lets pray for each other ladies


----------



## CosmopolitanChic

Ladies be encouraged!!!

It can be done, and I know it gets hard sometimes. 

It amazes me how people around you think something is wrong with you becuase you want to wait. 

There is so much of a focus on sex, sex, these days. 

I have a friend that told me the other day, that my focus should be on finding a husband. I politely told her" He that findeth a wife finds a good thing". Whomever he is, I should be his focus. Word

I can wait, Sarah waited a long time for Issac. When she became impatient she made a mess of things.

Lets all encourage each other to wait.

I have become so caught up in the Entertainment Thread that I have missed my focus entirely. Thats ok I will do better.

Thanks for sharing your stories.


----------



## Ramya

NoHairDrama4Me said:


> Ladies be encouraged!!!
> 
> It can be done, and I know it gets hard sometimes.
> 
> It amazes me how people around you think something is wrong with you becuase you want to wait.
> 
> There is so much of a focus on sex, sex, these days.
> 
> I have a friend that told me the other day, that my focus should be on finding a husband. I politely told her" He that findeth a wife finds a good thing". Whomever he is, I should be his focus. Word
> 
> *I can wait, Sarah waited a long time for Issac. When she became impatient she made a mess of things.*
> 
> Lets all encourage each other to wait.
> 
> I have become so caught up in the Entertainment Thread that I have missed my focus entirely. Thats ok I will do better.
> 
> Thanks for sharing your stories.



I'm glad you brought the bold up. I get so impatient (like now) that I wanted to do something like push things along. See God gave me a glimpse of my husband a while back. We've met and it's been almost a year and nothing! And I'm over here like umm... . LOL I guess I'll continue with my hands off approach and see what God is trying to do. erplexed


----------



## CosmopolitanChic

Ramya said:


> I'm glad you brought the bold up. I get so impatient (like now) that I wanted to do something like push things along. See God gave me a glimpse of my husband a while back. We've met and it's been almost a year and nothing! And I'm over here like umm... . LOL I guess I'll continue with my hands off approach and see what God is trying to do. erplexed


 
Have you started socailizing?


----------



## Ramya

NoHairDrama4Me said:


> Have you started socailizing?



well recently we've been speaking to each other more and we will both be working the same ministry so we'll interact more but other than that we still don't really "know" each other.


----------



## akilijata

Recently I had to break it off with a guy I had been seeing.  We were gong overboard and the guilt was hell! I had to remind myself Whose I was and let him go! Although I miss him, I know that waiting on God is the better thing for my life. I definitely will not be placing myself in that kind of situation ever again. I thank God for His forgiveness. I'm good now ya'al! Giving away your body to a man who isn't your husband is NEVER worth it!


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## Highly Favored8

Still holding strong.


----------



## Renewed1

I'm still holding on, I've been celibate for over 4 years now.  It's getting REALLY tough., considering I'm not a virgin.  But I'm controlling those urges, for when God does send my husband.  I won't THROW myself at him.


----------



## Sunshine77

Changed. Im with you. I have also been cleibate for 4 years. I wanted to wait till marriage but I gave in. Ive tried this several times in the past and gave in after a couple of years. This time I going to make it.


----------



## beaux cheveux

I want to join!


----------



## xquisitduchess

i want to join in this challenge! Lord Help Me.


----------



## Duchesse

It's been a year!


----------



## kboogie007

I wanna join too...end of August I made 13 months. I must say it has not been hard for me...should I say as yet...but the reason for that may be because I haven't really been interacting with too many guys. I am so happy I made this committment.


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## Vonnieluvs08

I made this commitment to myself and God over a week ago and now I want to make it in front of others.  I know that this will be a hard road but seeing that i'm letting God work on me and make me renewed in his image and spirit I will be okay.  I have cut a lot of ppl out of my life and told many that I am no longer dating.  I know that God will send me my husband when we are all ready (God, him, and me).  Repenting for my sin and living and walking in the spirit is what drives me.


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## natural in ATL

I'm still holding strong.  Ladies, please pray for me - my boyfriend is coming to visit for Labor Day weekend and I want to make sure we stay on track.  We're both committed to waiting until marriage and we talked about it again this week in preparation for his visit, so I think we'll be fine.  But I always feel better/stronger knowing others are praying for my success.  I'll check in after the weekend to share the good news that we made it through without deviating from our plan!!


----------



## Laela

I am praying for you! I understand that kind of temptation... Resist the devil and he will flee..this is what keeps us from sinning.  It can be done.

I used to pull out my Bible and tell him let's read and he'd back off... 

What also works is to not PUT yourselves in a situation where it's just you two and no one else. Keep around others. Go out in the open. Our flesh is weak but because you two love each other, it's more challenging. Talking about it is a very positive first step in giving the devil a double back-hand slap....together. I believe you two can make it.

Just my humble spin on this. 

All the best,
Laela



natural in ATL said:


> I'm still holding strong.  Ladies, please pray for me - my boyfriend is coming to visit for Labor Day weekend and I want to make sure we stay on track.  We're both committed to waiting until marriage and we talked about it again this week in preparation for his visit, so I think we'll be fine.  But I always feel better/stronger knowing others are praying for my success.  I'll check in after the weekend to share the good news that we made it through without deviating from our plan!!


----------



## urbanchic

I'm joining the challenge.  This will be my first official challenge since joining LHCF.  I've been abstaining for awhile but I think it is awesome to have support group.


----------



## Ms Red

Please say a prayer for me. 

I am praying for you ladies as well.


----------



## Reminiscing

Hi Ladies,

I'd like to officially join this challenge.  Earlier this summer when I recommitted my life to God, I made a commitment to abstinence until marriage and now I'm putting it in writing.  I will be praying for strength for all of you and for myself.

We can do it!


----------



## luckiestdestiny

Hey ladies!  I've been abstinent for a while now, and am continuing on.  My SO and I are doing well and haven't had any problems. We were friends who decided to start dating in January. So far so good. He's aware of my beliefs about waiting until marraige!


----------



## Highly Favored8

14 months and counting.


----------



## JinaRicci

You all are the best-thank you for this!!  Praying for you, please pray for me.


----------



## divya

Please pray for me. The Lord led me out of my engagement, and so I am now back in the dating world...well, should be _courtship_.


----------



## natural in ATL

natural in ATL said:


> I'm still holding strong. Ladies, please pray for me - my boyfriend is coming to visit for Labor Day weekend and I want to make sure we stay on track. We're both committed to waiting until marriage and we talked about it again this week in preparation for his visit, so I think we'll be fine. But I always feel better/stronger knowing others are praying for my success. I'll check in after the weekend to share the good news that we made it through without deviating from our plan!!


 
Another update! Labor Day was very succesful...no issues at all, we were able to be affectionate and loving WITHOUT getting close to making a mistake. I can see clearly how God is blessing this relationship, and I believe a major part of that is because we are putting Him first. Even though it's hard sometimes, the lack of guilt and closer relationship with God more than makes up for it! 

I have seen my boyfriend again recently (about 2 weeks ago) and all went well. Next visit is in early November...I feel confident but I will defintely stay prayed up!


----------



## Renewed1

WOW! I've been going strong for about 4 years now!  It's time for me to get married, before I do something I regret.


----------



## KiSseS03

I finally read this entire thread, and I am so encouraged, I'm officially joining this challenge.

As I posted in the random thoughts thread, I don't know exactly when it happened but in the past week or two, Jesus grabbed hold of my heart and completely changed it. In my 23 years on earth I have never felt such a strong desire to serve God, completely with my body, mind and spirit. God truly opened up the eyes of my spirit and allowed me to see how deceived I was by the enemy, in so many areas, including my spiritual beliefs and my beliefs on love/relationship. I am just sooo thankful right now that we serve a merciful and loving God, who forgives and who watches out for us, even when we can't be bothered with Him. It is now my desire to live my life in a way that is pleasing to Him in every way.

I'm committing to this challenge by giving up my worldly way of dating. I'm trusting the Lord for the husband He designed for me, and I'll happily wait on Him, and His perfect timing. When that time comes, it's courtship all the way. 

Thank you ladies for sharing your testimonies, you truly don't know how many people you have encouraged. God is so good.


----------



## Mis007

THOSE ON THIS CHALLENGE YOU HAVE ALL BEEN ALREADY HEALED SPEAK IT EVERY HOUR OUT LOUD SO IT CAN MANIFEST IN THE NATURAL. STAND ON GOD'S WORD SPEAK LIFE TO YOUR SELF AND GOD WILL BRING TO PASS IM PRAYING FOR YOU BE BLESSED.


----------



## BrandNew

Please pray for me! Praying for you all as well.


----------



## mz tracy 25

I pray that you all will help keep me grounded and abstinent. I thank God for bringing me my future husband, and since I know we'll be getting married soon it's easy to slip into sin and think it is ok. But it's not b/c we're not married yet. So please ladies, pray for my continued strength, and his too.


----------



## maxineshaw

deleted 10 characters


----------



## Renewed1

Today was a tough day.  Days like this I'm thankful that I don't have a boyfriend.  Although, days like this, I wish I was happily married.


----------



## Reminiscing

Hi Changed,

Hang in there!  Just remember that it'll all be worth the wait in the end.  Here's the link to Fred Hammond's new song "They That Wait."  As a single woman who's waiting on God for her husband, I find it to be encouraging and motivating.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wcdY2v5Kio


----------



## Vonnieluvs08

Pray for me ladies my mind/dreams are under attack from the enemy.  I think I know why (hormones) but I still don't want my thoughts to go against the Lord.

Praying for all the ladies here.


----------



## Butterfly08

Well now's as good a time as any to join! I'm newly divorced and intend to wait until I re-marry before I have sex again. The good news is I hate my ex's guts right now so there's no temptation to do some creepin' for old times sake! 

Some days its rough but I am making this public commitment to wait. I'm praying for you ladies, please pray for me. I think it's awesome that we are taking a stand for holiness, and I know that we will be blessed for it.


----------



## sokoron

I'm in. I know it may seem silly, but this thread is a good way to keep me accountable... It's hard and lonely sometimes, but I want a Godly man who I am passionatley in love with,  to be my husband and have every part of me; and I know that is what God has planned for me. I beleive that building a relationship not based on sex and doing so because you both respect and honor Gods word is the strognest foundation for a relationship that I can think of. So I will be patiently waiting and praying for the man who is strong enough to handle my descion, no scratch that, I need a man who also shares the same beliefs so that we can continuously support each other. I know at times it will be hard, but I am no longer interested in short term or temporary pleasures. Even if I have to be alone for a while in order to get that, let God mold me and make me grow and work on other areas in my life. God bless everyone here, be encouraged!


----------



## Reminiscing

Sigh....

I'm writing because I was tested last night.  I almost gave in but thankfully God kept me strong and I walked away a winner.  However, I am disappointed that I placed myself in a situation where I was tested.  I knew better but for some reason my good judgment didn't kick in fast enough.  I'm a little sad right now but I'm trying to hold on to the lesson I learned.  God showed me a weakness that I didn't know I had and he also showed me that His power was strong enough to keep my from tripping over my weakness.  Please pray that God will keep me focused and help me strengthen all areas where I am weak.  I'm praying for myself and for all of you ladies.  Happy New Year!


----------



## PaleoChick

Hello everyone. I joined the challenge a while ago under a different name, and now I am back. Today makes it 4 months and 10 days, and that was after 6 months of abstinence. I don't miss it to be honest, wasn't worth it. Dude is not worth it anymore. The "candy shop" is closed for "renovations". I will be praying for a husband, but I will be putting myself out there as well, into more positive experiences and around positive people, and praying a lot more than I used to.


----------



## Lisa

I guess I've been in this challenge for years and didn't realize it. I've been abstinence for about 10 years


----------



## Pulchritudinous

This is my first post and I am joining. You ladies are very encouraging.


----------



## Lanea87

I was in this challenge a while ago, not sure when I feel off but it has just made 3 months for me. I know that is not long compared to some of you ladies but its a start for me.


----------



## xquisitduchess

i joined this challenge a few months ago.... i am starting it over. Hopefully this time i will be strong enough to stick to the challenge


----------



## julzinha

I've never had sex and am abstinent, but after trying to get myself spiritually correct. I am 100% sure that i am not having sex before marriage. I always feel that sex is not just physical, but spiritual and that should be saved for someone you love wholeheartedly and are married to.


----------



## Duchesse

I'm not gonna lie, I'm approaching the 2 year mark and it's a bit hard. I haven't been dating at all, but once my work life gets stabilized, I'm excited to start mingling with the menfolks again. I've never done abstinent dating before, and I'm honestly a bit nervous. I still feel committed to waiting until I get married..but I'm cynical about the dating pool, and my own self control. Prays for myself and for you all!


----------



## Hair2Here

tuffCOOKiE said:


> I know that I will never be worthy for God. Ever. It's a little disempowering. I lost my virginity to a guy i thought i was in love with when i was 17/18. Sometimes i regret it because my walk with God has not been the same. The guilt kills me. Not because I think sex is bad, but because it was like letting my father down. Like i disappointed a friend. And that is exactly what I did. I feel even after i ended it, i still feel lost. We'll see..


 
Tuff, I lost my virginity to a guy at the age of 16 and ended up pregnant.  I still didn't learn my lesson and ended up pregnant again and again.  Just looking for love with all the wrong men instead of allowing Christ in my life.  I knew He first loved me but never thought about it twice because I was looking for the physical love.  With the other pregnancies, I ended up having abortions.  I regret so much having made those decisions.  

When Christ became the center of my life, I found Love!  A nice friend reminded me of a scripture I will always refer to:  Hebrews:  10:17, "for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.  I read this over and over again until I just confessed my past sin and put it on God because I was tired of carrying it, remembering it.  It was a heavy burden and His burden light.  After receiving His forgiveness through faith, I went on with my life not even thinking about it anymore.  I refer to my past only when I want to be a blessing or an encouragement to other young ladies.  

I met my husband one year in May.  We were engaged by November and married the following May.  My husband did not 'know' me until our wedding night.  And, gurl, gurl gurl, it was a nice night.  I think men (and God) are pleased that you've waited for marriage.  It was my gift to my husband.  This was over 10 years ago.

My daughter I had out of wedlock will be graduating on May 15th (my wedding anniversary) with a B.S. in Nursing.  I had two more busy boys for my husband.  My extended (unsaved) family members told my parents that I would never amount to anything since I was a teenage mom.  But they failed to realized that I had praying parents who turned me into a praying young lady.  God extended His grace.  I went back to school, earned my degree, worked my way up the ladder at work and my husband is doing very, very well in his job and with his own business.  God has made it so that we are able to care for my parents (who now live with us).  I love it when a plan of God's come together.

So, I felt good about wearing white on my wedding day.  When folks asked, 'what's up with the color'.  I explained to them that I was forgiven and made pure.  If God is willing to forget our sins, we should do the same.


----------



## Renovating

Thanks for sharing your story. That was beautiful and very touching.


----------



## chelseatiara

My first post EVER on this site  i am joining this thread. I want my husband to *truly* experience our "love" for the first time on our wedding night and i am going to need strength and prayer to get there!


----------



## dymondgurl

Hi ladies! I'm all in for this challenge,I've already been celibate 14 months at this point. I am currently single and just recommitted myself back to the Lord. My previous relationship was with someone who I loved very much things just didn't work out. Perhaps in time the Lord will see fit to restore our relationship that way he intends for it to be. So far there's no one that I'm interested in and I suspect it  probably makes it easier to not dwell on being with anybody. Right now I'm at a point in my life where I'm  content with my love life or lack thereof. Just keep me in your prayers as I strive to be the woman God intended for me to be.


----------



## chelseatiara

in an effort to stay faithful to the Lord and prevent lust, etc, etc, I actually napped with a pillow between my boyfriend's "manhood" and my bum today lol he didnt say anything but he was probably to tired to care lol


----------



## Vonnieluvs08

I have remained faithful to my word.  However I feel the desires and temptation creeping in.  I have remained prayerful about the situation and know that by the grace of God I will not succumb to sin.  I am trying to hold ever thought captive and give evil no area of weakness in my armor.  I told a friend that I have to stop being around him so much because even though I don't want to be intimate with him, his presence awakens the flesh and feeds the feelings that sometimes arise.  Lord is my strength.  Thank you God!


----------



## Kerryann

Im 6 months in already and i have no real thoughts of giving it up at all this is the best ive feel in a long time
granted now and again i do feel like it but after i couple hrs the feelings goes away


----------



## BrandNew

I'm rejoining this challege.


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## KnottyGurl

I'm in again too.  It's been about 9 months and I'm determined to stay that way until I marry the man God chooses for me.


----------



## Sandy10

I've been celibate for over 5 years. The challenge for me came in my mind & thoughts. What really helped me was confessing 2 Corinthians 7:1 severals times a day or when the sexuals thoughts would come in my mind.

What you are doing is replacing the thoughts with the word of God.


2 Corinthians 7:1  KJV

Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

The promises can be found in the previous chapter 2 Corinthians 6: 14-18.

You can confess it in 1st person:

I cleanse myself from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.


I love the post from Hair2Here. It's about accepting God's love.


----------



## BEAUTYU2U

tuffCOOKiE said:


> I also got rid of those 'friends'.  You know the ones I'm talkin about? *Guys who are your friends.. but not REALLY your friend??*  The ones that care a lil too much, hug you a lil too long and have expressed in one way or another they feel for you but are either A. not christian *B. not really your 'type'* or C. Not ready to make the same committment you are.



I read this months ago and wasn't ready to receive it. But I've been beaten over the head with it for that entire time. I'm finally ready to accept it instead of just blazing right through it.  

Thank you for this message! Especially the bolded. You just don't know how much this helps, comforts me.


----------



## tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT

sugaplum said:


> *[size=+1]“Challenge for Christian Single Ladies”*[/size]
> 
> This challenge is to encourage my sisters to stay celibate & live for God.  I feel that we as Christian women, we should respect our bodies and hold it sacred.  Sex is a special gift that _should_ be shared in marriage and it _should not_ be dragged in the mud (like pornagraphy, videos, etc.).  The Christian is called to live a life of unselfish love.  Abstinence should always seek to glorify God and buildup fellow believers in the faith.
> 
> The Rules are:
> 
> 1) No late night dates when initially meeting someone-especially if you are not a strong christian yet. No clubbing and no living together.
> 
> *1 Thessalonians 5:22-23* - Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
> 
> 2) No type of sexual contact (having sex, impure thoughts, oral sex, masturbation, etc.) and no sexual immorality.
> 
> *Colossians 3:5* - Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
> 
> *Ephesians 5:5* - Be sure of this, that no fornicator or impure man, or one who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
> 
> The Apostle Paul was never married.  He followed Christ and used God’s teachings.  Apostle Paul said, “The Believers body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and should not be polluted by unclean things.”
> 
> *1 Corinthians 6 19-20* - Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
> 
> Paul also exhorted the church of Thessalonians to *“abstain from sexual immorality.”*
> 
> *1 Thessalonians 4:3*-For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from fornication;
> 
> *Holy Spirit Check*---Also your Holy Spirit will let you know when you are not doing God's Will.
> 
> FINAL NOTE-The only reason for breaking this challenge----
> [size=+2]*IS IF YOU GET MARRIED!!*[/size]
> 
> *Genesis 2:23-24* - Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man."Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.
> 
> I will pray for all of you that this challenge will make you stronger in your faith, closer to God, following Jesus's path, and I rebuke anyone and anything that will try and stop you from getting the Prize.
> 
> God Bless you ladies.




i'm in this challenge by default!  been celebate for several years....do to non relationship status & my extreme pickiness

don't know if my list is like (what chilli wants) but it has certainly kept me from getting my hands dirty (so to speak) 

would love this time to get closer to god


----------



## LifeafterLHCF

Lord I haven't laid with a man in about 5 years..however the self laying is another story..I wonder if it's possible to break..scratch that I know it's possible to break I just wonder if Im ready..I mean I met a nice guy Friday not saying anything will come of it since his technically taken but he said he can only hold out for 3 months..I was like wow that doesn't match my thoughts unless we are married in that time frame..I need help ladies..


----------



## LovingLady

GoddessMaker, the man for you will wait forever to be able to hold you. Allow him to pass you by, it is obvious where his priorities are in regards to sex.


----------



## PaleoChick

There has been nothing since August of 2009, and I had eight months of nothing before that, and nothing since. Leaving the challenge was so NOT worth it, and it took nine months for my cycle to get right. The paranoia, and the emotional upheaval was so NOT worth it. Never again. I am in the challenge for good.


----------



## little_nikki_99

Im in, its been over a couple yrs for me too.  It gets easier as time goes by, plus Ive been through too much heartache to mess up now!!! (God knew what he was talking about, I just learned the hard way)


----------



## akilijata

All is well with me ladies!!! This thread really inspired me to remain faithful to my Father!!! I feel so happy and free!!!  As one minister put it, "Whatever you compromise to keep, you'll lose." I believe that wholeheartedly.  It's not a matter of staying strong sisters; it's a matter of staying in love with Yhwh and loving the fact that the first time you and your husband come together will be a beautiful event!!! Your bodies are so precious, please remember that.  No man is worth the shame of allowing an imposter to touch and violate your temple. If he can't wait then he's saying you're not worth waiting for. Know your worth. You were purchased with the precious blood of Yeshua. Love and Peace my sisters!!!


----------



## Believer131

I have been trying to abstain for the past 5 years but have had three slip ups with a man who actually wanted to marry me.  I felt horrible each time. I am no longer dating this man.   It definitely was not worth it.   I have also fallen in this area with incidents that don't involve actual sex.   I still have sexual thoughts and urges.  I ask God to help me control those thoughts and urges and to forgive me for the times that I have not been able to control them. I ask God to strengthen me and help me to live a holy life.  I also ask God for the husband that He has for me.  I ask Him to first prepare me for my husband.  Lord I thank you for your love and mercy.  In the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ.  Amen.


----------



## tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT

Hair2Here said:


> Tuff, I lost my virginity to a guy at the age of 16 and ended up pregnant.  I still didn't learn my lesson and ended up pregnant again and again.  Just looking for love with all the wrong men instead of allowing Christ in my life.  I knew He first loved me but never thought about it twice because I was looking for the physical love.  With the other pregnancies, I ended up having abortions.  I regret so much having made those decisions.
> 
> When Christ became the center of my life, I found Love!  A nice friend reminded me of a scripture I will always refer to:  Hebrews:  10:17, "for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.  I read this over and over again until I just confessed my past sin and put it on God because I was tired of carrying it, remembering it.  It was a heavy burden and His burden light.  After receiving His forgiveness through faith, I went on with my life not even thinking about it anymore.  I refer to my past only when I want to be a blessing or an encouragement to other young ladies.
> 
> I met my husband one year in May.  We were engaged by November and married the following May.  My husband did not 'know' me until our wedding night.  And, gurl, gurl gurl, it was a nice night.  I think men (and God) are pleased that you've waited for marriage.  It was my gift to my husband.  This was over 10 years ago.
> 
> My daughter I had out of wedlock will be graduating on May 15th (my wedding anniversary) with a B.S. in Nursing.  I had two more busy boys for my husband.  My extended (unsaved) family members told my parents that I would never amount to anything since I was a teenage mom.  But they failed to realized that I had praying parents who turned me into a praying young lady.  God extended His grace.  I went back to school, earned my degree, worked my way up the ladder at work and my husband is doing very, very well in his job and with his own business.  God has made it so that we are able to care for my parents (who now live with us).  I love it when a plan of God's come together.
> 
> So, I felt good about wearing white on my wedding day.  When folks asked, 'what's up with the color'.  I explained to them that I was forgiven and made pure.  If God is willing to forget our sins, we should do the same.



i love it when god has a plan
you are an inspiration!


----------



## tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT

GoddessMaker said:


> Lord I haven't laid with a man in about 5 years..however the self laying is another story..I wonder if it's possible to break..scratch that I know it's possible to break I just wonder if Im ready..I mean I met a nice guy Friday not saying anything will come of it since his technically taken but he said he can only hold out for 3 months..I was like wow that doesn't match my thoughts unless we are married in that time frame..I need help ladies..


i agree with others
this guy already has a time stamp.... so let him expire already
we're here if u need to talk


----------



## tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT

i'm laughing to myself b/c I think this may be the second time i've wondered into this forum....not my direction, but in perfection....guess he intended this connection (wow, I'm a rapper) lol
let's say this challenge may be something i charge for my future.  Like a few of you have mentioned... celibate YES... intentionally NO... kind of nonchalantly happened after parting from my one true love, spending my entire life thinking i am weird b/c i didn't believe in casual sex
 god has to have a plan in store because the road has been long traveled---plus i'm always...always accused of being extremely PICKY.  Joining a challenge to remain celibate (until marriage?) is very serious, something I've never weighed, but its been several years, and i think it's time.


----------



## Butterfly08

Still hanging in there.  I went looking for purity rings to celebrate one year of abstaining in less than 2 months. I needed something to encourage me to keep going. I am excited to get it. As someone who was married most of my adult life, this has been a hard road, but it has gotten easier, praise God!


----------



## Browntem

I've been lurking around in this thread for the past 2yrs and I must say that I'm finally ready to surrender my life, my will, and my body which is the temple of the holy spirit, entirely to God.  I thank God for His Spirit and pray for strength and direction as I embark on this new journey of celibacy until marriage.  I've been a Christian my whole life but I've finally committed to a personal relationship with God that involves following all of his commandments, rules and regulations lol.  I submit my life to Jesus Christ and will no longer defile my body in the name of Jesus.   Amen!!!  Stay encouraged everyone


----------



## PaleoChick

It will be one year in 13 days. I am really committed to doing this. No going back now. I am not giving myself to anyone without the promise of marriage. Period. When I think about time I lost with a man that I knew wasn't going to marry me, but I had to prove everyone wrong; I get mad. I get really angry, but I hold on to faith that the right man will come along, and will want to be with me for me, and will be just what I have been waiting for. I hear moonstone is for purity. I know I am not pure or anything like that, but the symbolism is enough for me.


----------



## phynestone

Still going. I am challenging myself to keep my pure for my husband.


----------



## lustrous

ladies, sorry in advance for the long post. Ive been a lurker on this forum for 5 yrs or so and now feel the need to post. thank you for giving me insight and to be honest, hope. I'm a 20 year old rising senior in college and I have never 'known' physically in any way shape or form. In my freshman year of college, I had some thoughts (of what it would be like to lie down next to this person and feel his warmth) I'm glad it didnt work out becuse I wasn't far enough in my walk with Christ to avoid temptations had it worked out. I see alot of people, even those i considered friends giving up their body for another so readily. 

      The world at times seems to be so heavily drenched in sex i find myself battling the torrent. To know that there are others with such strong personal convictions who love themselves enough to wait out for something better makes my eyes widen. I'm so peaceful inside over this. I dont recall the bible verse that comes to mind exactly but it was something like " you are in the world but not of the world" I no longer feel wierd for choosing not to be of the world and I thank God for choosing me to be a Christian. It's so worth it ladies. All the girls that i know who waited are looking at a ring and a committed man. the others , i just cant say the same. there is confusion and guilt that marres their relationships. I'm going to begin my abstinence in a new light. no more thoughts, or "thats what she said" jokes or watching movies that display sex in a vulgar/unGodly manner. It's one thing to walk this walk but its quite another to know where you are and why you are on the road.


----------



## lustrous

whoops. i made an error in my above post. insert the words "a man" after I have never known.


----------



## Curly CoCo

Is dis challenge still open? I would like to join


----------



## phynestone

^^^Of course. Welcome!


----------



## Curly CoCo

Thanks, I will give a little background about myself, regarding dis challenge. I am a proud 20 yr old virgin. Back when I was 15 yrs old, my mom put me and my siblings in a class called "True Love Waits" at our church. At the end of the classes, you pledge abstinence until u marry. My two siblings had children out of wedlock after dis, except my younger brother and dis is very common in my family. I always wanted to honor God dis way and wouldnt want to let him down. Also I want my husband to be da only one to know me dat way. Im glad to find others who are serious about dis subject, I've been following the thread since last yr.


----------



## LovingLady

Curly CoCo said:


> *I always wanted to honor God dis way and wouldnt want to let him down. Also I want my husband to be da only one to know me dat way.* Im glad to find others who are serious about dis subject, I've been following the thread since last yr.


 
Amen!! I feel the same way.


----------



## Butterfly08

lustrous said:


> *All the girls that i know who waited are looking at a ring and a committed man. the others , i just cant say the same.* there is confusion and guilt that marres their relationships. I'm going to begin my abstinence in a new light. no more thoughts, or "thats what she said" jokes or watching movies that display sex in a vulgar/unGodly manner. It's one thing to walk this walk but its quite another to know where you are and why you are on the road.



I wish I could say the same.  I know couple after couple who did the do regularly before getting married and they still are, happily. Maybe they went through things I'm not aware of, but it can be discouraging to know that I waited (barely)  before marrying only to marry the devil incarnate and end up divorced anyway. I mean, I saved myself, and here I am, divorced.

I don't want to get anybody down but all I would say is not to look at others. When I look at others, I get angry and question God. I start wondering what was the point of waiting when I didn't get a reward for saving myself, I got a painful, horrible marriage and years of misery.

That said, I'm still saving myself for re-marriage, if only to strengthen and purify my mind and spirit. Knowing that I am sacrificing daily to resist temptation makes me less willing to fall for some dude who can't wait for me. I did buy that ring to celebrate a year and it reminds me that what I am saving is precious and valuable. Prayerfully my next husband will be my final one, and my latter will be GREATER than my former!!!


----------



## phynestone

Butterfly08 said:


> I wish I could say the same.  I know couple after couple who did the do regularly before getting married and they still are, happily. Maybe they went through things I'm not aware of, but it can be discouraging to know that I waited (barely)  before marrying only to marry the devil incarnate and end up divorced anyway. I mean, I saved myself, and here I am, divorced.
> 
> *I don't want to get anybody down but all I would say is not to look at others. When I look at others, I get angry and question God. I start wondering what was the point of waiting when I didn't get a reward for saving myself, I got a painful, horrible marriage and years of misery.*
> 
> That said, I'm still saving myself for re-marriage, if only to strengthen and purify my mind and spirit. Knowing that I am sacrificing daily to resist temptation makes me less willing to fall for some dude who can't wait for me. I did buy that ring to celebrate a year and it reminds me that what I am saving is precious and valuable. Prayerfully my next husband will be my final one, and my latter will be GREATER than my former!!!


 
This spoke to me. I can name a few ladies who went through the same thing. I wonder why is that. 

I can't relate, but I just want you to know that I HEARD you.


----------



## stephluv

its time for me!!  I would love to join if I can...i know its his will and his way.


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## blackbarbietea

There should also be a focus on NO MASTURBATION


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## blackbarbietea

Anywho's I'd LOVE to join!!


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## blackbarbietea

GoddessMaker said:


> Lord I haven't laid with a man in about 5 years..however the self laying is another story..I wonder if it's possible to break..scratch that I know it's possible to break I just wonder if Im ready..I mean I met a nice guy Friday not saying anything will come of it since his *technically taken* but he said he can only hold out for 3 months..I was like wow that doesn't match my thoughts unless we are married in that time frame..I need help ladies..


44

LOL What's technically taken? That should be a big neon sign right there.


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## blackbarbietea

PaleoChick said:


> It will be one year in 13 days. I am really committed to doing this. No going back now. I am not giving myself to anyone without the promise of marriage. Period. When I think about time I lost with a man that I knew wasn't going to marry me, but I had to prove everyone wrong; I get mad. I get really angry, but I hold on to faith that the right man will come along, and will want to be with me for me, and will be just what I have been waiting for. I hear moonstone is for purity. I know I am not pure or anything like that, but the symbolism is enough for me.


 
If you're a christian, if you believe Jesus died on the cross and rose again. Then when you sin, if you repent, God forgives you and whipes your slate clean. You are pure. We all deal with struggles and things like that, but the important thing is to no matter what, get up, whipe yourself off, repent and move on. Satan will try to get you to sin, and if you should fall into sin, then he will try to tell you that you are so dirty, and you shouldn't repent. or ask for forgiveness again. That's a trap. Please don't believe the lie that you're impure. Read your bible, pray, fall in love with Jesus, seek his face and you won't be able to believe how far he can take you. It's all about renewing your mind. <3


----------



## blackbarbietea

Reminiscing said:


> Sigh....
> 
> I'm writing because I was tested last night.  I almost gave in but thankfully God kept me strong and I walked away a winner.  However, I am disappointed that I placed myself in a situation where I was tested.  I knew better but for some reason my good judgment didn't kick in fast enough.  I'm a little sad right now but I'm trying to hold on to the lesson I learned.  God showed me a weakness that I didn't know I had and he also showed me that His power was strong enough to keep my from tripping over my weakness.  Please pray that God will keep me focused and help me strengthen all areas where I am weak.  I'm praying for myself and for all of you ladies.  Happy New Year!


  Don't let guilt cause you to fall. Ask for forgiveness, repent, and move on and don't ever let yourself get into a situation like that again. Analyze the small steps you and he took to get to that almost point and be a stickler and don't go that way again. <3


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## blackbarbietea

bananabunneh said:


> in an effort to stay faithful to the Lord and prevent lust, etc, etc, I actually napped with a pillow between my boyfriend's "manhood" and my bum today lol he didnt say anything but he was probably to tired to care lol


 
eh...im glad you're trying, but don't you think thats still kinda playing with fire, napping with your bf in the same bed?


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## Curly CoCo

I am seriously thinking about quitting this challenge, Im so confused. In a way I dont because I've been a virgin all my life..


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## LovingLady

Curly CoCo said:


> I am seriously thinking about quitting this challenge, Im so confused. In a way I dont because I've been a virgin all my life..


 
Don't quite now, you have come so far.


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## Curly CoCo

^^ Thanks. I don't believe dat I will quit, maybe Im just speaking out of frustration. It's like I dont want to disappoint God but I'm not sure if I made the right decision by taking a pledge of abstinence at a young age. I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on something though.


----------



## Vonnieluvs08

Curly CoCo said:


> ^^ Thanks. I don't believe dat I will quit, maybe Im just speaking out of frustration. It's like I dont want to disappoint God but I'm not sure if I made the right decision by taking a pledge of abstinence at a young age. I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on something though.


 
Curly CoCo- You aren't missing out on anything. Honestly!  

I know you're like well you did the deed but honestly I wish I had waited.  And to top it off I got HPV from my bf of the time and didn't even know and we were safe.  That was just the first of a few health problems I've had because of sex.  I still am nervous that I may have contracted something more deadly despite all my healthy tests.  If I had never done it I wouldn't be paranoid.  One day I have to tell my future husband all this and pray he will still marry me and us be able to have a healthy marriage.

Also every time you engage in sex or intimacy with another person you give them a piece of yourself.  Yes Christ can restore us but that is still a part of you that another person has shared.  You will have to build all of that back up with your future husband.  And women like to compare everything (clothes, bodies, partners) and you don't wanna have that mental turmoil if your husband doesn't live up to previous lovers.

If I could do that part of my life over I would have waited until marriage like I originally planned.


----------



## Curly CoCo

^^ Thanks very much for sharing that story. It's people like you that get me inspired to keep the precious gift of virginity that God have given me. It helps me see that it would be well worth the wait, so I won't give up or quit da challenge. Im in it to win it! lol


----------



## LovinLocks

In the name of my Lord, Jesus Christ, I confess the need to live a God-filled life in chasteness and full morality and that as a Christian my light is to shine as a Godly woman participating in Proverbs 15:20.  I have years of uncleanness in God's eyes to overcome in this regard.  In faith I ask for help from Holy Spirit to live up to my dedication.  Amen!

Ladies, work it, in Christ's name.  Gather your prayer warriors - whatever you need to be victorious in your walks of celibacy.  This is the first time in my life that I am SERIOUSLY making this an integral part of myself.  I have seen the ravages of ignoring God's physical and spiritual laws and the BUCK STOPS HERE, in Jesus' name.   Obviously can't do it on my own, but through him I can do all things . . . as the scripture says.


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## LovinLocks

blackbarbietea said:


> There should also be a focus on NO MASTURBATION


 
EXACTLY!!!  I am so glad this challenge includes the real 'cause there's no need in us half stepping.  It is so difficult to explain to folk why masturbation is a no-no too.  Let's keep walkin' this walk ladies!


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## Curly CoCo

Hope u ladies are doin ok.


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## blackbarbietea

It's hard once you get started and unfortunate for most people, they start (masturbating) as such a young age.


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## NaturallySweet73

This wont' be an issue for me............lol IM IN!!!!! Ill be watching my back though or allowing the Lord to watch it b/c of this challenge I have been celebit for 6 years now, not through my own power by with the help of God!


@ all those that do have issues with this and who have issues with masterbation...........Pray, prayer, prayer(Mark 13:38;Matthew 26:41 Prayer gives you the strenghth to resist temptation) , Word, Word, Word (Ephesians 5:26 The Word ofGod Cleanses your mind daily so we have to be in it daily), fasting, fasting, fasting (Matthew 17:21; Mark 9:29 when we are having a heck of a time stopping ourselves the best thing to do is to FAST, b/c there may be more going on the the Lord needs to conquer our flesh)............you might also want to dump shows, movies, conversation, jokes and music that refer to sexual themes! I was/ and could be a trigger!   

But the more you are in you word and prayer the less even the thoughts will trouble you and i speak from experience.


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## softblackcotton

I'm a 26 year old virgin who has never had a real relationship, so my life has been an Abstinence Challege 365, 24-7 by default. This is going to be a piece of lemon cake.


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## hairluva28

I am in. I have tried multiple times to be abstinent in the past but wasn't really committed. I have now gone a year without dating or sexual contact. I am more committed now than I have ever been and am determined to stay absstinent for God's glory. I'm reading a great book that's helping me BOUNDARIES IN DATING.  Its a christian book about dating in a Godly way, a must have!!!


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## phynestone

^^^^Awesome book! Very helpful.


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## KynkiChyck

*Keepin courtship alive...*

Checkin' back in...and WHEW!

Only from the grace of the Lord Jesus I have made the 4 1/2 year mark of abstaining...I am proud of my success of not giving in to emotion, the devil and my physical urges. 

On the other hand, I'm upset.  :heated:

WHY?

I tire of defending my stance on sex b4 marriage...when I was reaching my four year mark I told two close females that I abstained...girlfriends just about lost their minds and stated they couldn't imagine going 4 weeks w/o it... but in the end I think they felt awkward bout it...the one started treating me different afterwards, and she has no prob dressing scandulous to get a man (and still doesn't have one) . If more women would exercise *self-control *;  the power that we possess over men, there would not be so much promiscuity going around...then again maybe they think like frogs http://www.physorg.com/news/2011-02-promiscuity-frog-world.html

There was a highly educated brother (former co-worker) who was attracted to me holding a high adminstrative position in a church. I started making convo w/him primarily because he was saved (but found out later he was engaged). He flat told me there was no way *he would hold out *til marriage...

It seems like the epitome of everyday is immorale..."do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" :mob: is the modern day definition of virtue, purity. It sure would be nice to conversate with a man who truly loves the LORD JESUS and has the utmost respect for a woman. 

Though I speak out in frustration let's keep our virtue to the sky so He can fulfill our desire for a godly man.


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## Renewed1

*Re: Keepin courtship alive...*



KynkiChyck said:


> It sure would be nice to conversate with a man who truly loves the LORD JESUS and has the utmost respect for a woman.




I so agree. It's almost like a dime a dozen to speak to a man that WANTS to talk about God AND wants to wait until marriage for sex.


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## stephluv

*Re: Keepin courtship alive...*



MarriageMaterial said:


> I so agree. It's almost like a dime a dozen to speak to a man that WANTS to talk about God AND wants to wait until marriage for sex.


 ^^^^ITA Just praying and enjoying myself has been helping me alot


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## stephluv

*Re: Keepin courtship alive...*



KynkiChyck said:


> Checkin' back in...and WHEW!
> 
> *Only from the grace of the Lord Jesus *I have made the 4 1/2 year mark of abstaining...*I am proud of my success of not giving in to emotion, the devil and my physical urges. *
> 
> On the other hand, I'm upset. :heated:
> 
> WHY?
> 
> I tire of defending my stance on sex b4 marriage...when I was reaching my four year mark I told two close females that I abstained...girlfriends just about lost their minds and stated they couldn't imagine going 4 weeks w/o it... but in the end I think they felt awkward bout it...the one started treating me different afterwards, and she has no prob dressing scandulous to get a man (and still doesn't have one) . If more women would exercise *self-control *;  the power that we possess over men, there would not be so much promiscuity going around...then again maybe they think like frogs http://www.physorg.com/news/2011-02-promiscuity-frog-world.html
> 
> There was a highly educated brother (former co-worker) who was attracted to me holding a high adminstrative position in a church. I started making convo w/him primarily because he was saved (but found out later he was engaged). He flat told me there was no way *he would hold out *til marriage...
> 
> It seems like the epitome of everyday is immorale..."do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" :mob: is the modern day definition of virtue, purity. It sure would be nice to conversate with a man who truly loves the LORD JESUS and has the utmost respect for a woman.
> 
> *Though I speak out in frustration let's keep our virtue to the sky so He can fulfill our desire for a godly man*.



I really needed to read this


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## DaiseeDay

I'm in. 

I've never had sexual intercourse, never even had a boyfriend, but I haven't always been exactly pure. I dedicated my life to God about two and a half years ago and set myself apart for Him and I'm waiting for the one He's chosen for me. I don't believe in dating like the rest of the world either - it's kinda personal to me though because I believe God has revealed who He wants me to marry - which makes waiting for him even harder. I have struggled with some things, but I trust God to help me through them. I've wanted to give up at times especially going through High School, I've wanted to just date any ol guy who showed me attention, but I know that's not what God wants for me, so that would be wrong. Part of my motivation is seeing some men that are "Christians", but so un-godly and disrespectful that it's hard to believe they actually have a relationship with the Lord. It's like God puh-leez have a godly husband out there for me, I can't marry a guy like that! On the other hand I've met a handful of men who really are in love with the Lord and it's really awesome to know that there really are real men still out there these days and God has one set-apart for me. 

This website is awesome for those of us struggling with lust and other sexual sins: http://beggarsdaughter.com/

Right now I'm going through Pure by Rebecca St.James (she wrote and sings the song "Wait For Me" ) and I'm loving it. It's about purity inside and out and being set-apart for God. I find it especially encouraging because I know she's been waiting and walking the walk and now she just got married this year!

-Praying and trusting the Lord for my future husband.


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## LovelyNaps26

joining . i need to keep my thoughts pure. i'm still a virgin but impure thoughts are something i struggle with. i've been dating a great Christian guy which has made keeping my thoughts pure even more difficult  Paul is right it is better to marry than to burn. Still I believe discipline will help me if and when i marry this young man.


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## Prudent1

Hello all! I scan this part of the forum from time to time just to see how everybody is doing. Let me say that this section as well as the CF was the reason I decided to join the forum at all. It was about much more than the hair. Anyway, I pray for all of us and would be totally remiss if I did not share something with you beautiful ladies. I have been listening to an excellent series call _The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating _as taught by Andy Stanley. The entire series is awesome but if you can't listen to anything else, *please* take the time to listen to part 3 which specifically addresses singles. I believe you will find it very uplifting. Stay strong beautiful women of God. :Rose:
http://www.northpoint.org/messages/the-new-rules-for-love-sex-and-dating


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## bajandoc86

I'm most definitely in this challenge!!


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## Babi

The only reason I subscribed to LHCF is because I was feeling the topics and the support system that you ladies have on here. This is my second post. I am in. I m really feeling the Christian Fellowship group!
 I recently broke up with my boyfriend because he doesn't support my desire to abstain from fornication in order to better my walk in Christ. ( ladies check out the post if you'de like. I need all the advice I could get from fellow christians on that).


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## StarScream35

I'm burnin' and burnin' for too long..............I think I'm about to cave in and on top of that with the wrong guy!


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## sunshinelove

NOOOOO HOLD OUT MY SISTAH!!!


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## sunshinelove

Babi said:


> The only reason I subscribed to LHCF is because I was feeling the topics and the support system that you ladies have on here. This is my second post. I am in. I m really feeling the Christian Fellowship group!
> I recently broke up with my boyfriend because he doesn't support my desire to abstain from fornication in order to better my walk in Christ. ( ladies check out the post if you'de like. I need all the advice I could get from fellow christians on that).


 

The great thing about your situation is in knowing that you did the right thing.  God honors those who keep His statutes.  If a man/dude cannot wait for you or agree with your decisions to better yourself and your walk with Christ...he was never the one for you.  I applaud you for doing what is right as a Christian woman.


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## nerdography

I'm going to join this challenge. I'm still a virgin, but I need to get my thoughts together and other things together 

I've already removed the all exterior things that I owned that tempted me. Now I have to work on the things I can't get rid of


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## StarScream35

I'm meeting lots of guy and gals who say before you marry you need to find out if you are sexually compatible meaning it needs to be taken around the block. And yes they were Christian so I'm confused. I know what the bible says but people aren't abiding by this and this huge emphasis on sex makes dating extremely difficult. Any thoughts??


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## fifi134

Brighteyes35 said:


> I'm meeting lots of guy and gals who say before you marry you need to find out if you are sexually compatible meaning it needs to be taken around the block. *And yes they were Christian* so I'm confused. I know what the bible says but people aren't abiding by this and this huge emphasis on sex makes dating extremely difficult. Any thoughts??



I'm not going to say that their views on premarital sex alone makes them not a Christian, but the fact that they straight up disregard God's word makes me side eye them. The world has infiltrated even those in the church to think they need to find one sexually compatible for them. God will handle all of that! We don't need to find anyone, especially as women; men pursue us, not the other way around.

It makes me sick that those who hear the word do not abide by it. And this goes for all believers, including myself, in regard to sin. We don't even realize how much power we have in His Word. All we can do is continue to pray; for ourselves and for those who have gone astray that God will direct in His path.


----------



## Laela

Simply sharing this awesome, inspiring Testimony by singer Beckah Shae. I apologize it's so long, but worth every word to read.

Stay encouraged ladies!  . 

*Purity Testimony*
My prayer is that whoever may take the time to read this will (receive) Gods immeasurable free gift of LOVE which contains FULL restoration, healing, wholeness, truth and Freedom!!! Only in KNOWING HIM will you find this True Joy!!! It’s AWESOME!!!

Amazing Grace, How Sweet the sound!!
That saved a wretch like ME!!!
I once was lost, but now I’m found!
I was blind, BUT NOW I SEE!!!!!……………

I once was snared and shackled by the enemy of selflessness, insecurity and self-worth. Along came depression, self-mutilation by means of bulimia, weight-loss pills, excessive working out, ex-lax…anything that would allow me to be in control, yet never fulfilling. I spoke death daily, saying I was ugly, fat, undeserving, unintelligent, unworthy, sinking in a pit of loneliness and despair, I felt unloved, unnoticed. I would hide behind my arms, big clothes, and people, never wanting to be exposed for who I really believed I was or appeared to be. I was robbed of my joy, freedom, and comfort. I could not even use my gift, I wouldn’t open my mouth to sing, because I was so concerned with the way others perceived me, so fearful that they saw me the same way I saw myself.

Once the devourer can convince you of who you aren’t, He knows it will be easier for you to receive FALSE LOVE. LUST.

So caught up in the flesh, the physical, forgetting about my spirit. I was soo consumed with every outer and superficial thing. My spirit was stripped of any strength. I neglected to feed my spirit and soul, I was malnourished, famished, hungry, emptied and starved!! Just like thirsting in a desert, a dry and weary land, you begin to see a mirage, illusions and believe they are real!! Because it’s what your desiring, without any hesitation you accept whatever comes. THIS IS THE STRATEGY OF THE ENEMY!!!
To convince you, to receive what his definition of you deserves.

I allowed myself to be robbed of my purity.
I went through horrible condemnation, shame and regret.
Only making this false definition the enemy has given seem more and more real.

Let me say one thing…….
My intentions were to save myself till marriage…..
I had held on till I was 21!
But not standing a single moment longer without the knowledge of what I’m sharing with you right now.

PLEASE HEAR !

Without full knowledge and revelation of WHO YOU ARE, you are standing on the enemies territory without any shield, covering or weapon. He has power, and He hates you, and is ultimately out to steal, kill and destroy you!!
As an enemy of God, He despises Love, Holiness, and Purity.

Romans 12:1
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrificeâ€”the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.

I want to pour my heart out now……..

I once was shameful, a mess, yucky, dirty, filthy, so unworthy, with damaged dignity in all of my sins and faults and bruises. Self-pleasing, and Blind to this LOVE that has now changed my life. A love that is too hard for me to comprehend. A LOVE that has taken my brokenness, shame and embarrassment and has placed me high in a holy place seated with my Father!! A LOVE that has called me the righteousness of God!!? A LOVE that has pardoned me, and has thrown my filth as far as the east is from the west, and no-longer treats me as my sins deserve. A LOVE that has restored to me my Joy and has given me confidence again. A LOVE that sees me as worthy, and valuable, royalty and precious. A LOVE that has revealed Mercy and Truth with the sweetest compassion I have have ever known! A LOVE that would lay it’s own life down so I may live. A LOVE that compares to no-other LOVE I will ever know.

Oh! How AMAZING is your Love O God! I’m Overwhelmed as I write this!!

How Awesome, to think that you have covered all my sin and called me holy and pure.
I want nothing else but to honor you and praise you with my words, my deeds, my song,my body ,my marriage, my heart, my life!!

You have captured my soul and made me whole!! Halleluiah!! I AM FREE!!!
I want to shout from the mountain tops, I AM LOVED!!! and tell the world HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM!!!

To whoever is reading this….
If you have been raped of your worth, or have already made a decision to give yourself to someone other than your covenant partner, I want you to know that Gods mercy and grace is waiting to wrap itself around you and give you this indescribable LOVE that I am sharing with you!!! It’s never too late, Gods LOVE is BIG enough!! :0) haha Much bigger than you could ever imagine. Hes just waiting to lavish His love upon you and reveal to you TRUE LOVE.

GOD IS TRUE LOVE!!
1 John 4:8
But anyone who does not love does not know God, (for God is love).

Once you receive this LOVE, it’s no longer a matter of Jesus needing to make a payment on your behalf of your sins…… Because…..HE ALREADY DID!! You MUST just RECEIVE THIS TRUTH!! and KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW!! You have been redeemed!! Isaiah 53

So beautiful is the lover of my soull!! He came and revealed His extravagant love to me. He swept me away in His forgiveness and mercy and gave me eyes to see myself the way He sees me. I began to let go of the cares and concerns of this world, the expectations and perceptions of man, and became complete in Him. Oh what FREEDOM!!!

I saw myself married!! To the King of Kings!! WOH!! What a LOVE affair!!!
and shortly after this revelation, God sent to me my greatest blessing and partner in this life, SHOC!!! ( My earthly Husband ).

When He met me he could see nothing less in me, but the Love of Jesus!! For I was sooo full and consumed with my new found freedom and transformation!! The Love of Christ, in all His purity and holiness covered me and I was clothed in righteousness as a beautiful butterfly!! :0) Shoc knew that Jesus was and always will be my one, true and first LOVE. The author and finisher of my faith. My beginning and end.

I was blown away by the integrity and character of my sweet friend in Shoc and quickly fell in love with his gentle, kind and pure heart. Amazed….as I watched him grow swiftly in spirit, His wisdom and knowledge increased tremendously and at times I was overwhelmed with the gift of such pure friendship and love.

When the veil was removed and we saw each other as covenant partners ( husband and wife )….there was no question that we would give any place for the enemy to steal from us the beauty and purity we had in each other!! We remained committed to the Lord and to purity until we were married!! Oh and how God blessed us even more!!!

I want to take this precious moment to honor my most blessed gift,
my husband Shoc!!
For He was a VIRGIN!! He saved himself for marriage!! We have been married for almost 6 years … August 15th!! Woohoo, and they have been the most wonderful and blessed years of my life!
With 2 beautiful little girls named Joy and Grace We are BLESSED!

Yes, young men and women……

Gods Perfect Will IS Worth Waiting For!
It is an AWESOME gift to give to your married partner!
I am filled with awe an wonder of Gods goodness and love towards me, that His grace was way more than enough!! Yet He goes beyond to throw my sins away to be forgotton, and then crown me with royalty…and shower me with awesome gifts!! A PURE Husband, an awesome and strong man of God who loves me like Jesus!!! WOW!!

I CELEBRATE ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE REMAINED COMMITTED TO THE LORD AND TO PURITY!!
Men I celebrate you!! and I encourage you to speak and share your convictions and holiness, to other men. For they need to see Righteousness and its reward and fruitfulness. It’s too often overlooked, and underpraised!! You are to represent the marriage of Jesus and the church!! You are to represent JESUS, as the woman represents the bride/the church. Men we need you to raise up and stand!! To honor God in the most Holy way, Do not allow the enemy to come and steal your place in the body!! He knows that your highest calling is PURITY, So rid yourself from any sexual immorality, pornography, and impure thoughts. It’s a strategy to keep you from being all that God created you for, and most of all to keep the standards of your women low!!! Remember You are the head! You are the leaders! So Thank you for choosing LIFE, For choosing Holiness, and To Show us the TRUE love of JESUS!!!

Women I celebrate you if you have already made this commitment to God! There is no greater reward than to give yourself fully and completely to the One who has loved you and given himself to you fully and completely. My hearts desire is that He will continue to reveal himself to you in the deepest way. That you will be ravished by His love and caught up in such a love affair with the Holy One that every need you have is made known to you in Him. Godliness with contentment is great gain. May you be soo blessed as I have and even more with a partner in this life who is consecrated and more in love with Jesus than you. So he may always have a pure love towards you that you deserve.


continued in next post


----------



## Laela

If……
You haven’t made this decision and want to choose now to allow Gods love to overtake you and make you new!!!
Heres a lil prayer of commitment I conjured up :0), you can use it if ya want, although any sincere prayer from your heart will do.

_Awesome God!!
Thank you for revealing yourself to me as LOVE, by sending your son Jesus to die for my sin and shame, so that I would not have to be treated as my sins deserved, but I may be called your son/daughter. I praise you for your mercy and amazing grace and for redeeming me from condemnation, that I might be FREE!! May my life be a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. I desire to be all you have created me to be and invite you to fill me with your presence. Holy Spirit come and consume anything that exalts itself against the wisdom and knowledge of God. I declare today to be a representation of your Love and Holiness. For today because of your grace I am made new and whole and PURE! And I commit to you, to myself and to my husband/wife to be to remain pure so that we may receive all that you have prepared for us. I also commit to you and myself to let LOVE be my highest aim, I will seek the truth in who you are and who you say I am. I love you and because of your immeasurable love for me, it is my joy and honor to give you this commitment._

Halleluiah!!I rejoice with you in your decision!!

Ephesians 3:16-19
I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Thank you for reading this, Please send me comments I’d love to hear your heart, views, testimonies or questions.

Amazed by His LOVE,
BECKAH SHAE

Here is a letter from your King to start you off, on your aim to KNOW TRUE LOVE.

My Beloved,

I knew even before I created the earth that you would accept My love for you,.
In the beginning I created the heavens and the earth. Then at the right time and in the right place I created you in my image so that you and I can express love to each other. I created your inner most being, I created every part of you, I knit you together in your mother’s womb. You were carefully and wonderfully made; my works are wonderful, and you My beloved are my work!! How precious are my thoughts for you! If you were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. I have called you by name; you are mine. Come and live in My shelter, in the protection of the Most High, and you will find rest in the presence of the Almighty. I will shield you with My wings. I will shelter you with My feathers. My faithful promises are your armor and protection. Nothing can seperate you from my love. When you are in trouble and distress my love is with you. When you are persecuted my love is with you. When you are hungry and cold and naked my love is with you. When you are in danger and threatened with death my love is with you, I will be with you forever. No matter how high you go, no matter how deep you sink, nothing in life and not even death, no demon or any other power in hell can separate you from my love. Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know. Everything that you care about, I care about also because it concerns you. Cast all your cares and anxiety on Me because I love you. Trust in Me, with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding; In everything acknowledge Me, And I will direct your paths. For I order My angels to protect you wherever you go. Do not worry about anything, but in everything big or small, just pray, with thanksgiving, present your requests to Me and I will give you My peace that is beyond all human understanding. I will never leave you, or reject you. For the plans I have for you are to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Oh and please do not forget all my benefits, I forgive all your sins and heal all your diseases, I rescue your life from the pit of destruction and crown you with love and compassion. I satisfy your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is My love for you; as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you. The most intimate relationship you can have is with me because you and I are becoming one. You were designed for this purpose, nothing else will ever satisfy your deepest needs, your deepest desires, only I can. I satisfy your heart with love, joy, and peace that only I can give you. I delight over you. OH, if only you could see yourself the way I see you!!

You were chosen before the creation of the world (Ephesians 1:4, 11, Ephesians 4:1; 2 Timothy 1:9)d
You are My workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)
You belong to Me (1 Corinthians 6:20)
You are dearly loved (Colossians 3:12)
You have been shown the riches of My grace (Ephesians 2:7)
You are forgiven (Ephesians 1:8; Colossians 1:14)
You have been justified (Romans 5:1)
You are no longer condemned (Romans 8:1, 2)
You are set free (Romans 8:2; John 8:32)
You are dead to sin (Romans 1:12)
You are alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5)
You are promised eternal life (John 6:47)
You are redeemed from the curse of the Law (Galatians 3:13, Ephesians 1:8)
You are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
You are a holy temple (Eph. 2:21-22; 1 Corinth. 6:19)
You are holy and blameless (Ephesians 1:4)
You are sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13)
You are adopted as My child (Eph.1:5,John 1:12)
You are a member of My household (Eph. 2:19)
You have access to Me, your Father (Eph. 2:18)
You are My friend (John 15:15)
You are My coworker (2 Corinthians 6:1)
You are My disciple (John 13:15
You have hope (Ephesians 1:12-13)
You have peace (Ephesians 2:14 , 2:20)
You have purpose (Ephesians 1:9 & 3:11)
You are not alone (Hebrews 13:5)
You are not helpless (Philippians 4:13)
You are persevering (Philippians 3:14)
You are protected (John 10:28, I John 5:18)
You are victorious (1 Corinthians 15:57, I John 5:4)
You are more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)
You are a light in the world (Matthew 5:14)
You are a minister of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:17-20)
You have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7)
You are not in want (Philippians 4:19)
You are qualified to share in My inheritance (Colossians 1:12)
You are promised a full life (John 10:10)
You are blessed in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3)
You can approach Me with freedom and confidence (Ephesians 3:12)
You have been established, anointed and sealed by God (2 Corinthians 1:21-22)
You are a citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20)
You are seated in the heavenly realms (Eph. 2:6)

Love,

The One who really sees You!








Source: http://www.beckahshae.com/2010/07/01/purity-testimony/


----------



## sunshinelove

Laela said:


> If……
> You haven’t made this decision and want to choose now to allow Gods love to overtake you and make you new!!!
> Heres a lil prayer of commitment I conjured up :0), you can use it if ya want, although any sincere prayer from your heart will do.
> 
> _Awesome God!!_
> _Thank you for revealing yourself to me as LOVE, by sending your son Jesus to die for my sin and shame, so that I would not have to be treated as my sins deserved, but I may be called your son/daughter. I praise you for your mercy and amazing grace and for redeeming me from condemnation, that I might be FREE!! May my life be a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to you. I desire to be all you have created me to be and invite you to fill me with your presence. Holy Spirit come and consume anything that exalts immeasurable love for me, it is my joy and honor to give you this commitment._
> 
> 
> Thank you for reading this, Please send me comments I’d love to hear your heart, views, testimonies or questions.
> 
> Amazed by His LOVE,
> BECKAH SHAE
> 
> Here is a letter from your King to start you off, on your aim to KNOW TRUE LOVE.
> 
> My Beloved,
> 
> I knew even before I created the earth that you would accept My love for you,.
> In the beginning I created the heavens and the earth. Then at the right time and in the right place I created you in my image so that you and I can express love to each other. I created your inner most being, I created every part of you, I knit you together in your mother’s womb. You were carefully and wonderfully made; my works are wonderful, and you My beloved are my work!! How precious are my thoughts for you! If you were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. I have called you by name; you are mine. Come and live in My shelter, in the protection of the Most High, and you will find rest in the presence of the Almighty. I will shield you with My wings. I will shelter you with My feathers. My faithful promises are your armor and protection. Nothing can seperate you from my love. When you are in trouble and distress my love is with you. When you are persecuted my love is with you. When you are hungry and cold and naked my love is with you. When you are in danger and threatened with death my love is with you, I will be with you forever. No matter how high you go, no matter how deep you sink, nothing in life and not even death, no demon or any other power in hell can separate you from my love. Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know. Everything that you care about, I care about also because it concerns you. Cast all your cares and anxiety on Me because I love you. Trust in Me, with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding; In everything acknowledge Me, And I will direct your paths. For I order My angels to protect you wherever you go. Do not worry about anything, but in everything big or small, just pray, with thanksgiving, present your requests to Me and I will give you My peace that is beyond all human understanding. I will never leave you, or reject you. For the plans I have for you are to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Oh and please do not forget all my benefits, I forgive all your sins and heal all your diseases, I rescue your life from the pit of destruction and crown you with love and compassion. I satisfy your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is My love for you; as far as the east is from the west, so far have I removed your transgressions from you. The most intimate relationship you can have is with me because you and I are becoming one. You were designed for this purpose, nothing else will ever satisfy your deepest needs, your deepest desires, only I can. I satisfy your heart with love, joy, and peace that only I can give you. I delight over you. OH, if only you could see yourself the way I see you!!
> 
> You were chosen before the creation of the world (Ephesians 1:4, 11, Ephesians 4:1; 2 Timothy 1:9)d
> You are My workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)
> You belong to Me (1 Corinthians 6:20)
> You are dearly loved (Colossians 3:12)
> You have been shown the riches of My grace (Ephesians 2:7)
> You are forgiven (Ephesians 1:8; Colossians 1:14)
> You have been justified (Romans 5:1)
> You are no longer condemned (Romans 8:1, 2)
> You are set free (Romans 8:2; John 8:32)
> You are dead to sin (Romans 1:12)
> You are alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5)
> You are promised eternal life (John 6:47)
> You are redeemed from the curse of the Law (Galatians 3:13, Ephesians 1:8)
> You are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
> You are a holy temple (Eph. 2:21-22; 1 Corinth. 6:19)
> You are holy and blameless (Ephesians 1:4)
> You are sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13)
> You are adopted as My child (Eph.1:5,John 1:12)
> You are a member of My household (Eph. 2:19)
> You have access to Me, your Father (Eph. 2:18)
> You are My friend (John 15:15)
> You are My coworker (2 Corinthians 6:1)
> You are My disciple (John 13:15
> You have hope (Ephesians 1:12-13)
> You have peace (Ephesians 2:14 , 2:20)
> You have purpose (Ephesians 1:9 & 3:11)
> You are not alone (Hebrews 13:5)
> You are not helpless (Philippians 4:13)
> You are persevering (Philippians 3:14)
> You are protected (John 10:28, I John 5:18)
> You are victorious (1 Corinthians 15:57, I John 5:4)
> You are more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)
> You are a light in the world (Matthew 5:14)
> You are a minister of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:17-20)
> You have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7)
> You are not in want (Philippians 4:19)
> You are qualified to share in My inheritance (Colossians 1:12)
> You are promised a full life (John 10:10)
> You are blessed in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3)
> You can approach Me with freedom and confidence (Ephesians 3:12)
> You have been established, anointed and sealed by God (2 Corinthians 1:21-22)
> You are a citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20)
> You are seated in the heavenly realms (Eph. 2:6)
> 
> Love,
> 
> The One who really sees You!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Source: http://www.beckahshae.com/2010/07/01/purity-testimony/


 

Thank you for posting this!
I needed to hear this. I'm telling you, it is right on time. Its been getting really hard. Continuing to surround myself with scripture and prayer. Ladies don't cave in. God isn't gonna leave you hanging!


----------



## nerdography

Oh, goodness. I almost slipped up last night, it was so bad. The Devil was working overtime too. He was trying to convince me what I wanted to do was okay because the actual act is not mentioned in the bible.

And , God sent me to website of a Christian man who dealt with the same problem that I'm breaking free from. And on the site the man mentioned that what we do here on Earth will be known to all in Heaven. That, thankfully was able to keep me from committing sin against myself until the feelings went away.

Here's his website if you're intrested-->http://slrfa.tripod.com/id22.html


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## Iwanthealthyhair67

this is one area that is not a challenge in my walk...not bragging, I have other challenges

what I have found that is most effective is staying away from that which tempts you most...I don't go out on 'dates' and I have no male friends that I speak to regularly...


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## alwaysinchrist

Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> this is one area that is not a challenge in my walk...not bragging, I have other challenges
> 
> what I have found that is most effective is staying away from that which tempts you most...I don't go out on 'dates' and I have no male friends that I speak to regularly...


 yes I agree I am not tempted even tho I have male friends. I know my father has a great husband for me. I am divorce but that man was not for me.


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## alwaysinchrist

I was served divorce papers on Oct 23 I think n we slept together a few days before. But I went 3months while separated. I am so happy I found this site. You women are wonderful n so supportive!! I need to look for me a purity ring


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## kinky curlygenie

^^^^ i always wanted a purity ring
Hi i am 21 and a virgin, i am sooo glad to find a thread let alone a site where all my interest are combined. i dont feel like i have anybody who understands why i wait, i used to get picked on a lot for being a virgin and if it ever comes up in conversation i always get a side eye or remarks. it isnt something i struggle with pe say but sometimes it can be challenging.


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## alwaysinchrist

@ Kinky Curlygenie, that is soo wonderful. You just remember that you are God child's and living by his work is the best thing you can do. Your father adores you for this!


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## sunshinelove

kinky curlygenie said:


> ^^^^ i always wanted a purity ring
> Hi i am 21 and a virgin, i am sooo glad to find a thread let alone a site where all my interest are combined. i dont feel like i have anybody who understands why i wait, i used to get picked on a lot for being a virgin and if it ever comes up in conversation i always get a side eye or remarks. it isnt something i struggle with pe say but sometimes it can be challenging.



Kinkycurlygenie....I am just like you...don't feel alone because you are a virgin and in your twenties.  I'm here if you ever need support.  Don't worry about the naysayers..They're actually surprised that someone could abstain from fleshly lust for so long being that they have already indulged in that type of life.  It's puzzling to them but deep down they know that they respect you.  

Ladies continue to hold out. God will not leave you or forsake you. He knows exactly what you need, when you need it and how you need it. I'm still going strong (weak at times) but only by God's grace.  Yeah there are times when you just want to throw in the towel, I know, been there so many times. It's tough when our flesh is always warring against our spirit. To those of you that are virgins hold on because your testimony is truly great and will be what someone else needs to hear after you get married. God is a Provider. Group hug!!! We can do it, with Him all things are possible.


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## Goombay_Summer

I cannot exactly but it into words but after I was married, I suddenly realized the important spiritual aspect of having sex. Whenever God entered into a covenant with someone, there was always some type of shedding of blood. I do not will not too weird anyone out but once a virgin is deflowered there is usually the shedding of blood to represent in my opinion the covenant that ought to exist between a husband and a wife as the two become one.

After my divorce  I took part in an absence ceremony in my church my commitment to this way of life is easy because I've learnt from my past mistakes of being aligned to someone whose religious beliefs are totally  different from mine (he was a heathen who I  mistakenly thought would become saved later on). When you marry someone, who is unsaved you can expect lots of trouble from your father-in-law. In fact, I am celebrating my sixth anniversary of being celibate/abstinent this very month.


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## Iwanthealthyhair67

you are right about the 'shedding of blood' he designed us that way for the very purpose  of covenant...and this is why our young girl need to know the importance of virginity and that sex is not casual, we shouldn't give ourselves to every and anyone...

this is deep and worth studying....


----------



## Softerlove

Shameless BUMP!

I am IN!


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## Sarophina

hanna_light said:


> I cannot exactly but it into words but after I was married, I suddenly realized the important spiritual aspect of having sex. Whenever God entered into a covenant with someone, there was always some type of shedding of blood. I do not will not too weird anyone out but once a virgin is deflowered there is usually the shedding of blood to represent in my opinion the covenant that ought to exist between a husband and a wife as the two become one.
> 
> After my divorce  I took part in an absence ceremony in my church my commitment to this way of life is easy because I've learnt from my past mistakes of being aligned to someone whose religious beliefs are totally  different from mine (he was a heathen who I  mistakenly thought would become saved later on). When you marry someone, who is unsaved you can expect lots of trouble from your father-in-law. In fact, I am celebrating my sixth anniversary of being celibate/abstinent this very month.



Actually, I was listening to Pastor Gary C. Price and he was talking about this blood covenant. It was the first time I had heard of it. So, I'm glad to hear this confirmed through another believer's mouth.


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## Sarophina

kinky curlygenie said:


> ^^^^ i always wanted a purity ring
> Hi i am 21 and a virgin, i am sooo glad to find a thread let alone a site where all my interest are combined. i dont feel like i have anybody who understands why i wait,  *i used to get picked on a lot for being a virgin *and if it ever comes up in conversation i always get a side eye or remarks. it isnt something i struggle with pe say but sometimes it can be challenging.


The *world* is the one that is CRAZY! It's unnatural to bind your body with different people. You fragment your soul.

Ladies, I have excellent articles that go into depth about how fornication is an act of hatred and pure insanity. You *hate* the person you are fornicating with. Only when you hate someone would you want to send them to Hell. Fornication is a sign of debased society that is MAD .
http://thelatterdays.blogspot.com/2008/10/turning-world-upside-down-part-5.html
http://thelatterdays.blogspot.com/2011/11/psychopathology-at-its-ultimate.html
Articles such as these and teachings by Gary C Price, help me to renew my mind and stay away from the LIES of this insane world.


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## Lanea87

I challange myself to become successful at this. 
2012 will be my year and will have greatness for me. I have tried this before and failed but I am really into it this time and my heart is in this and my body deserves this. It will be tough but all things are possible.


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## Aggie

This is another great year for abstinence.


----------



## ChocLitDoll

Hello Ladies! I am new to this forum.  I want to join this challenge...did I just join by posting?...I don't really know how to navigate this forum yet I'll figure it out.


----------



## kinky curlygenie

^^ your in and you wont regret it the ladies on here are such a big help i just wish i was on here more!!!

thanks so much ladies for the comments 

questions for the ladies with SOs how do u deal wth that???


----------



## Lanea87

Its 2 weeks in and I feel good. I have no temptations or urges to wanna. I fill myself up with God daily and I believe that has a lot to do with it. IDK if this has been mentioned but its an app called YouVersion and it a bible app that has plans and other good stuff on there. You can get it on Android, iPhone, and even the computer. I think you ladies should look into it if you havent.....


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## loolalooh

I'm thankful for this thread.  My goal is to remain celibate until marriage.  It's been two months since my last encounter.


----------



## Iwanthealthyhair67

^^I wish you well, it is worth it


----------



## Lanea87

Ladies I am reading a very good ebook that a lady named Kim Brooks wrote called the "The Little Black Survival Book for Single Saints". If you go like her FB page she gives the book out for free. It has helped alot with my journey as far as dating and stuff goes while being celibate..... You ladies should go check it out.


----------



## kinky curlygenie

ZebraPrintLover said:


> Its 2 weeks in and I feel good. I have no temptations or urges to wanna. I fill myself up with God daily and I believe that has a lot to do with it. IDK if this has been mentioned but its an app called YouVersion and it a bible app that has plans and other good stuff on there. You can get it on Android, iPhone, and even the computer. I think you ladies should look into it if you havent.....


 

i have the app havent visited it in a while u just reminded me - 
i like the reading plans theyre good when ur on the go a lot.  i used to read mine at work a lot


----------



## Lanea87

kinky curlygenie said:


> i have the app havent visited it in a while u just reminded me -
> i like the reading plans theyre good when ur on the go a lot.  i used to read mine at work a lot


 
Yea I really LOVE that app, I read it at home though bc I need to get in my zone so that I can mentally take in what I am reading. I post notes on the scriptures that I feel really touch me.


----------



## Lanea87

How are you ladies doing?


----------



## sweetvi

I feel so weak...everyone I start off good ( this year I made a commitment to God to honor my body) ..I always fail! :-(.  I'm so sad and disappointed in myself because I can never overcome any temptations that it thrown my way. Another thing that I have been trying to overcome is being a people pleaser. I'm very bad at saying No and sticking to it if I do and I do not like to have people upset with me.  Please pray for me...I desperately want to honor God with my body and soul because I know he wants to return tenfold what was stolen from me!


----------



## loolalooh

delete (10 char)


----------



## Aggie

sweetvi said:


> *I feel so weak*...everyone I *start off good* ( this year I made a commitment to God to honor my body) ..*I always fail! *:-(. I'm so sad and disappointed in myself because* I can never overcome* any temptations that it thrown my way. Another thing that I have been trying to overcome is *being a people pleaser*. I'm very bad at saying No and sticking to it if I do and I do not like to have people upset with me. Please pray for me...I *desperately want* to honor God with my body and soul because I know he wants to return tenfold what was stolen from me!


 

My precious sister @sweetvi, your candor and honesty about your weakness in this heart-felt confession, I must admit is refreshing.

*To all the bolded in the order that are highlighted:*

Let the weak say I am strong. The Lord is strong and wants when we are weak to draw on His strength and as we do, we call ourselves strong. The Holy Spirit is still doing a refining and holy work in us IF we let Him. Our surrender of our will to Him is critical in this endeavor. 

Try not to handle this area of weakness without seeking Him for His help to strengthen you. If you ask, He will and if you begin to confess His word over and into every situation, the tempter, the devil, will flee. This is what it means to resist the devil. 

As you confess His word, you will feel stronger and stronger but you cannot stop - you must stedfastly resist the devil and God will help you overcome the temptations. So you see, you can start and finish strong. The race in this holy battle is not given to the swift nor the strong, but to those who endure to the end. You can win, you have already won! 

See yourself as victorious and not as a failure. Cast down those vain imaginations of failure for they are exalting themselves against the knowledge of our Lord and Master. He is not a failure and neither are you. See it, say it, believe it! 

Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. hear yourself speak His word to your circumstance and give it the life it needs to move in divine favor.

Begin commanding your day according to the will and word of God OR your day will command you. Take your rightful authority as a child of the Most High God, open up your mouth and speak. Give your faith a voice, speak God's word over your life and your body, soul and spirit and shut fear and doubt up. If you don't shut them up, they will get bolder and bolder and louder and louder and guess what? 

You will obey the voice and words you are hearing and speaking the most. STOP obeying the fear and STOP IT NOW! Educate, train and develop your human spirit. Meditate on God's word more and you will make your way proseraous and have good success in every area of your life.

Finally, you cannot have two masters. You will love the one and hate the other. Pleasing man is an absolute slap in God's face for to live to please man is to displease God. Man is fallible, God is not! It is okay for man to be upset with you if you tell him "NO!" 

Just remember, if you are saying no to man you are saying yes to God! I don't see anything wrong with that. Man can not save your soul or keep it qut of hell, but God can. Ask yourself the question "Which of these is more important to me? The opinion of man or the blessed assurance of God?"

You want to desperately honor God with your body and your soul, well guess what? That is a great start - You have given Him something to work with and that is your desire. Give Him a little more daily, and I mean daily! 

Fill yourself up with His word everyday - this way, you are literally filling yourself up with God Himself. And when the battle comes around again - and it will, you will be armed with what you need to fight - not only fight - but fight and win.

My beloved sister, be the victor you are called to be in Christ Jesus our Lord! You are not a failure, you are victor, you are not a man-pleaser, but a God-pleaser, you are not weak, but you are strong, you are not the conqoured, but a conquorer, you are not defeated, but an overcomer! you are the head, and not the tail, you are above and not beneath. Command your morning my sister.

Look to the hills from whence cometh your help - your help comes from the LORD! Seek Him first! His face and not His hand - seek Him!


----------



## Shimmie

Aggie said:


> My precious sister @sweetvi, your candor and honesty about your weakness in this heart-felt confession, I must admit is refreshing.
> 
> *To all the bolded in the order that are highlighted:*
> 
> Let the weak say I am strong. The Lord is strong and wants when we are weak to draw on His strength and as we do, we call ourselves strong. The Holy Spirit is still doing a refining and holy work in us IF we let Him. Our surrender of our will to Him is critical in this endeavor.
> 
> Try not to handle this area of weakness without seeking Him for His help to strengthen you. If you ask, He will and if you begin to confess His word over and into every situation, the tempter, the devil, will flee. This is what it means to resist the devil.
> 
> As you confess His word, you will feel stronger and stronger but you cannot stop - you must stedfastly resist the devil and God will help you overcome the temptations. So you see, you can start and finish strong. The race in this holy battle is not given to the swift nor the strong, but to those who endure to the end. You can win, you have already won!
> 
> See yourself as victorious and not as a failure. Cast down those vain imaginations of failure for they are exalting themselves against the knowledge of our Lord and Master. He is not a failure and neither are you. See it, say it, believe it!
> 
> Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. hear yourself speak His word to your circumstance and give it the life it needs to move in divine favor.
> 
> Begin commanding your day according to the will and word of God OR your day will command you. Take your rightful authority as a child of the Most High God, open up your mouth and speak. Give your faith a voice, speak God's word over your life and your body, soul and spirit and shut fear and doubt up. If you don't shut them up, they will get bolder and bolder and louder and louder and guess what?
> 
> You will obey the voice and words you are hearing and speaking the most. STOP obeying the fear and STOP IT NOW! Educate, train and develop your human spirit. Meditate on God's word more and you will make your way proseraous and have good success in every area of your life.
> 
> Finally, you cannot have two masters. You will love the one and hate the other. Pleasing man is an absolute slap in God's face for to live to please man is to displease God. Man is fallible, God is not! It is okay for man to be upset with you if you tell him "NO!"
> 
> Just remember, if you are saying no to man you are saying yes to God! I don't see anything wrong with that. Man can not save your soul or keep it qut of hell, but God can. Ask yourself the question "Which of these is more important to me? The opinion of man or the blessed assurance of God?"
> 
> You want to desperately honor God with your body and your soul, well guess what? That is a great start - You have given Him something to work with and that is your desire. Give Him a little more daily, and I mean daily!
> 
> Fill yourself up with His word everyday - this way, you are literally filling yourself up with God Himself. And when the battle comes around again - and it will, you will be armed with what you need to fight - not only fight - but fight and win.
> 
> My beloved sister, be the victor you are called to be in Christ Jesus our Lord! You are not a failure, you are victor, you are not a man-pleaser, but a God-pleaser, you are not weak, but you are strong, you are not the conqoured, but a conquorer, you are not defeated, but an overcomer! you are the head, and not the tail, you are above and not beneath. Command your morning my sister.
> 
> Look to the hills from whence cometh your help - your help comes from the LORD! Seek Him first! His face and not His hand - seek Him!



What beautiful words of love, Aggie...


----------



## Aggie

Shimmie said:


> What beautiful words of love, Aggie...


 

Awww Shimmie, . My heart was just....filled when I saw that post. I couldn't help but reach out to her - I was compelled to do so. I didn't even mean to keep writing such a long post, but the words just kept coming into my spirit to speak to her spirit. 

I am so grateful that I was obedient because sometimes when God is using us to minister to others, He is ministering to us too. Isn't it just like HIM to do that?

Oh how I  Jesus!


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## sweetvi

Aggie. Thank you! . Since I was disappointed in myself yesterday...I decided instead of running from I ran towards God!  I worshiped, prayed and poured my heart out to him. I recognized that he loves me unconditionally and I can always pick my self and try again with his help. I know God has beautiful plans for my little life and will restore everything that was taken from me and more...! I am determined to win and even if it gets hard and I stumble...I will push forward. 

I started memorizing scriptures, reading the bible at least daily and having a conversation (prayer,meditation ) with God instead of calling a girlfriend!
Yayyyyy... I'm excited!

Thank you sisters!


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## sweetvi

Typo: beautiful plans for my Life...it is not little. LOL


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## Aggie

sweetvi said:


> @Aggie. Thank you! . Since I was disappointed in myself yesterday...I decided instead of running from I ran towards God! I worshiped, prayed and poured my heart out to him. I recognized that he loves me unconditionally and I can always pick my self and try again with his help. I know God has beautiful plans for my life and will restore everything that was taken from me and more...! I am determined to win and even if it gets hard and I stumble...I will push forward.
> 
> I started memorizing scriptures, reading the bible at least daily and having a conversation (prayer,meditation ) with God instead of calling a girlfriend!
> Yayyyyy... I'm excited!
> 
> Thank you sisters!


 
 sweetvi. You are indeed on the right track. Continue on this path and you are destined for divine success. 

By the way, it's okay to call a girlfriend who loves the Lord completely because our Father says that we are to confess our sins one to another. He won't be mad at you for doing so, just don't leave Him out of the equation. 

Afterall, you came to us here and we are your girlfriends....sort of...right? But we are a little more than that. We are your spiritual sisters. Remain continually blessed!


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## Lanea87

sweetvi said:


> @Aggie. Thank you! . Since I was disappointed in myself yesterday...I decided *instead of running from I ran towards God! I worshiped, prayed and poured my heart out to him.* I recognized that he loves me unconditionally and I can always pick my self and try again with his help. I know God has beautiful plans for my little life and will restore everything that was taken from me and more...! I am determined to win and even if it gets hard and I stumble...I will push forward.
> 
> *I started memorizing scriptures, reading the bible at least daily and having a conversation (prayer,meditation ) with God* instead of calling a girlfriend!
> Yayyyyy... I'm excited!
> 
> Thank you sisters!


 
I am so proud of you. This is new for me as of this year and it hasnt really been a struggle at all bc I desire it in my heart to do this and not fail as I have done many times before. Certain things in my life happened and that why I believe that it is a success this time around because of my last issue at hand.

Things that have helped me:
-Get rid of certain males that come to me only for that, that will get them a quick dismissal
-I told every guy about it that way they all knew, that let them weed themselves out
-Surround myself by positive ppl that dont talk down on me about it
-Attend bible study and church weekly....havent missed a beat yet!
-Read the bible daily, which you are doing already 
-Reading other book about relationships and living like a REAL christian bc we are not alone.


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## Lanea87




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## kinky curlygenie

ZebraPrintLover said:


> Things that have helped me:
> *-Get rid of certain males that come to me only for that, that will get them a quick dismissal*
> *-I told every guy about it that way they all knew, that let them weed themselves out*
> *-Surround myself by positive ppl that dont talk down on me about it*
> -*Attend bible study and church* weekly....havent missed a beat yet!
> -Read the bible daily, which you are doing already
> -Reading other book about relationships and living like a REAL christian bc we are not alone.


 
 at the bolded 
I found it the most relieveing thing to tell guys bc thn u definately save alot of time - you know who intesrested in you genuwinely 

in red - its helps if you have like minded people around you who will not influence you to do bad - not just men are bad influence you know


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## WhippedButterCreme

I feel like I ought to join this challenge since I'm already following the guidelines!


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## Lanea87

^^^^^Come on in then!


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## AfrikanRose

Well, I was in this challenge under a different log in name, but I rejoined. I have been abstinent since August 15, 2008. There are times where I think I miss sex, but I would rather not be touched or have sex again than with the wrong person. There is a guy in my life that I talk to. I have known him my whole life. I care about him, but I don't want to have sex with him. It's just not right to me. I'm 34, and if it doesn't happen again, so be it.


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## menina

Sigh, that time of the month.. those feelings just rise up it's hard not to get consumed with them. However, i do not want to give in to temptation.


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## Lanea87

menina said:


> Sigh, that time of the month.. those feelings just rise up it's hard not to get consumed with them. However, i do not want to give in to temptation.


menina, we are here if you need us!


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## Aggie

You can do it @menina. With the strength of Christ, you can do it. Yes it is not easy, but it is definitely possible even with those urges. When I get those urges, I commit to a fast. 

Fasts usually help me to sustain myself successfully. I am actually due for one tomorrow, not for abstinence purposes, but it's just time for another one for some other reasons and things I am believing God for.


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## menina

Thank you ZebraPrintLover and Aggie!!

It's good to be able to come here for encouragement. We are in this together. Calling on Jesus has been awesome too.


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## stephluv

I would like to join this challenge wholeheartedly!! I am trying to live in my singleness faithfully and righteously...just started but I pray that I am able to hold on and be strong


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## BadMamaJama

I'm in!  Next month it will officially be 2 years that I've been celibate.


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## sheanu

I'm in! Til I get married at the end of this year lol.


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## stephluv

GM!! I want to go to the Pinky Promise Conference in ATL...it will be Jan 24-27th with Heather Lindsey, her husband and another speaker...is anyone going? If attending events will also help me stay on this path I figured it wouldnt hurt to go


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## sweetvi

stephluv

I'll b there


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## stephluv

sweetvi said:


> @stephluv
> 
> I'll b there


 
sweetvi---aww great!! I still have to register and look for a roommate lol Nice to know someone else is going Hopefully we can meet up


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## gyrl102

I am in... I am currently in a relationship where both of us want to honor this One thing is true women have to be the stronger one in alot of cases and you have to set boundaries


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## blazingthru

its what almost 9 years now.


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## sweetvi

I see friends getting into relationships, living together and enjoying the fruits intended for marriage by God .  I can't help but to feel jealous or slightly sad wondering when is it my turn?  I think back to this verse......

Proverbs 23:17

Do not let your heart envy sinners, But live in the fear of the LORD always.

God is writing my love story, so that means he will provide the person according to my needs and not want, someone who will love me like he does, protection against heartache, abuse, etc, and I will be in God's play ground. Not the devils


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## LovingLady

gyrl102 said:


> I am in... I am currently in a relationship where both of us want to honor this *One thing is true women have to be the stronger one in alot of cases and you have to set boundaries*



That is very true. 


Here is a video that hope you ladies find to be very encouraging. If you have time, watch the entire sermon. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFdqYpttQDE

:Rose:


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## stephluv

sweetvi said:


> I see friends getting into relationships, living together and enjoying the fruits intended for marriage by God . I can't help but to feel jealous or slightly sad wondering when is it my turn? I think back to this verse......
> 
> Proverbs 23:17
> 
> Do not let your heart envy sinners, But live in the fear of the LORD always.
> 
> God is writing my love story, so that means he will provide the person according to my needs and not want, someone who will love me like he does, protection against heartache, abuse, etc, and I will be in God's play ground. Not the devils


 
@sweetvi -Thank you for this

Still doing pretty well...have to keep my thoughts pure too tho so working on that but i'm trying to stay in the word and keep myself busy...i'm also learning temptation comes in all forms and we have to be prepared for all of them...you might be strong against one but weak on something else...wisdom is key and i'm learning


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## Renewed1

I haven't responded in this thread in a  long time.  I'm still going strong. But I find that I'm looking forward to marriage more so for the physical aspects then companionship.  

Is that wrong?


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## Mahsiah

I've chosen to wait until marriage...yes because God said so. I also try to do everything else He says.

Anyway, people think getting married at a young age is stupid and they also think so is waiting for sex. They say things like "What if your husband isn't good at bed", "You should just test the waters and get around before you settle down" 

I don't give into peer pressure but it's just so annoying. Everywhere you turn is sexual immorality. Like I heard about a Teen sex slumber party 

Revelation 22:15

They can think God is playing if they want to.


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## Lilmama1011

Renewed1 said:


> I haven't responded in this thread in a  long time.  I'm still going strong. But I find that I'm looking forward to marriage more so for the physical aspects then companionship.
> 
> Is that wrong?



Your only human and have temptations so... Renewed1


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## Lilmama1011

LovingLady said:


> That is very true.
> 
> Here is a video that hope you ladies find to be very encouraging. If you have time, watch the entire sermon.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFdqYpttQDE
> 
> :Rose:



I think this is so true, if the woman ain't strong then the man will over power


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## kinky curlygenie

LovingLady said:


> That is very true.
> 
> Here is a video that hope you ladies find to be very encouraging. If you have time, watch the entire sermon.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFdqYpttQDE
> 
> :Rose:



Thank you I really needed to hear that sermon. Very encouraging and true. Hope all you ladies are well


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## Incognitus

09/19/13 - I'm in. Wholeheartedly. I'm in.

I was doing quite well for several years....then I fell into sin. Now I'm back, fighting hard to walk down the path of righteousness, and follow His will for my life.


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## mscurly

Next month will make 2 years for me. I have my hard days. I desire companionship so badly some days it gets so lonely. But I remind myself of the promises of God. I'm dating two guys right now I know I need to end it because they want sex and obviously I'm not willing to do that. I know neither of them is my husband so it seems like a waste of time to continue on with this. Being single is really hard.................


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## sweetvi

mscurly


I am one year and seven months and I know how you feel.  I am reaching a pivotal point as well.   I just deleted a guy's number because it is a dead end as well and all of sudden, men from my past are now popping up.  

This situation reminds me of that verse:. The enemy walks around like a roaring lion seeking who he can devour.


I believe our breakthrough is around the corner and the enemy knows he has something good for us and trying so hard to distract, stop and prevent it for us.. 


I think I'm going to challenge myself like I once did... No more music, shows pertaining to those things. Go back to praying harder and reading my bible and start filling my mind with positivity... (quotes,scriptures,etc).  I hope you do the same


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## kinky curlygenie

You have a point sweetvi i found an old mp3 player of mine, the music on it just showed me how much i have matured although half of it i still listen to (really old music though lol)

i am trying very hard to get into reading everyday, made conscious effort to download the bible app as well as a daily reading app that reminds me to read a little each day. then i don't really have no excuse to read the word, il admit i do miss days with work and studies getting hectic but i try to speak with the big guy even if its just a minute 

i wish you ladies all the best keep strong Xx


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## sweetvi

I wonder how everyone else is holding up?!

stephluv
Divine.


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## sweetvi

Ramya said:


> Hey ladies! I hope everyone is doing will with the challenge. Nothing's changed here except my attitude.  Here are some things that have helped me through the last couple of years.
> 
> *~Understand that God gives us instruction for a reason.* He is not trying to make us miserable and he is not trying to make us miss anything. Please don't go into this kind of challenge thinking that you are missing something.
> 
> *~You are not going to wake up one day and stop liking sex and sexual activities.* It doesn't happen like that. It is a process that involves doing things on purpose. You can't will your way celibate.  The bible says that strongholds can't stand against HIS word. It didn't say anything about YOUR word. Speak His word and confess it over your life daily.
> *
> ~Don't get comfortable.* Do not put yourself in questionable situations. You don't have to go into his house and he doesn't have to be in yours. You can enjoy each other's company away from the house. Don't act like yall don't know why. . Be smart yall. If you're not in the position for something to happen, nothing will. Remember you can't will your way celibate.
> 
> *~Don't play.*  Keep the touching and kissing PG. What's the point of getting 'hot' if you are trying to remain pure? That doesn't make sense at all. Even if you don't fail then, you will lust for him in your mind which will lead to failure. Guard your hands and your thoughts. --don't say I didn't tell yall that.
> 
> *~Be honest with God. *He knows what you're doing anyway. If the Holy Spirit came to live in you, who do you think is between you and old boy when all this stuff is going down? Yep the Holy Spirit.  And the bible clearly states that we are not to grieve the Holy Spirit. But that's exactly what you're doing.
> 
> *~Be honest with yourself.* Remind yourself why you are celibate. It's a good thing remember...
> 
> *~Address any issues that you may have*. Is physical intimacy filling a void in your life? Are you using this man/these men? Really dig deep and find out the real reasons you have sex. Remember that you were freed from bondage the minute you accepted God.
> 
> *Do not be deceived*.
> *1 Corinthians 6:9-11*
> 9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
> 
> *AND*
> 
> 11 That is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
> 
> 
> You are not your past and it's not too late! Once God has forgiven you, forgive yourself! It's done and over with. Look forward and keep on going.
> 
> Be blessed yall.


,
Had to repost this
.............


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## Divine.

sweetvi said:


> I wonder how everyone else is holding up?!
> 
> stephluv
> Divine.



sweetvi I'm holding up well so far. However, it has been hard at times. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I can't just wish my desires away. In addition, I have to stop being so hard on myself for having these desires. Right now I'm struggling more mentally than physically. But I'm definitely not giving up!


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## Altruisticoam

Hears the Word for today and I thought it might be helpful...enjoy

And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. (James 1:13, 14 NLT)


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## stephluv

Hiiii I had fell off Stopped going to church Met this guy who acted like he respected my celibacy but that was his way to lure me in Struggling to get back to where I was before Disappointed in myself and wondering if I am being really honest with myself People are not encouraging me Maybe I won't ever meet my God fearing handsome rich man I always dreamed about as a ill girl And to think at one pt I thought I would be a pastors wife Not with this tainted past  Anyways I'm holding on to faith but faith on what....I have no idea

~rant over

How are you sweetvi


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## sweetvi

Awwwww.  That just hurt my heart!!  I know exactly how u feel. :-(     I almost fell into that as well but I chose to cut all ties because I know it was leading no where. The good thing about it is that we always have God to run to and he knows us well and loves us irregardless!  Please don't give up. You have come so far.


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## BrandNew

I'm still going strong. I lost track of how many years....


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## mscurly

sweetvi 

I've been off this board for a few weeks so it's refreshing to come back here and see that I'm not alone. 

The devil has been busy in my life. He is really trying to destroy me and my self esteem which should tell me that I have something great in store. 

I went to visit my sister for the holidays which turned out to be harder than expected. My older sister has 4 children, recently separated from her husband and is now living with a man whom she claims to love. Plus she's seeing another man because according to her the man she is now living with hasn't put a ring on it yet. I'm like wait a minute sis you haven't even divorced from your husband yet. The devil is a liar!

It's so hard because here I am being faithful and abstinent for the past 2 years and still single. To add insult to injury a man I was dating and thought God sent into my life told me after Thanksgiving that he didn't want to deal with me anymore.

I plead the blood of Jesus because soooo much is going on right now. Lord give me the strength. I could go on and on and make this post super long with all the things that have been happening to me lately. 

Y'all pray for me please.


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## stephluv

mscurly You have been faithful and God is preparing your husband for you I feel it in spirit to tell you that the things that enemy is revealing to you to discourage you are because Your walk in faith has bound the enemies plans to put these things in YOUR future When you look left and right and see these situations sent to discourage you Faith has kept you seeking God and the walls are going up so those things on your left and right stay behind those walls Be prayerful blessings are coming


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## mscurly

stephluv said:


> mscurly You have been faithful and God is preparing your husband for you I feel it in spirit to tell you that the things that enemy is revealing to you to discourage you are because Your walk in faith has bound the enemies plans to put these things in YOUR future When you look left and right and see these situations sent to discourage you Faith has kept you seeking God and the walls are going up so those things on your left and right stay behind those walls Be prayerful blessings are coming




Thank you I really needed that. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately perhaps too much thinking. I started feeling like maybe I passed up on guys and possible opportunities for marriage. And that the reason I'm single is my own fault. It's not like I haven't had men interested in me. 


Then the thoughts of……"well he's a great guy should I really let being celibate keep me from having a good relationship….."

……"so what if you're not physically attracted to him……"

The devil wants me to look at everyone else


Your post reminded me not to give up on God and keep pressing on even through these tough times.


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## curlytwirly06

Hello ladies! I commend you all on your pledges and hope you are given what you need to stay pure in every way possible. I am 21 a virgin and intend to  stay that way till the Lord sends the right one my way.


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## LiftedUp

So I'm in this challenge 

Have been abstinent for 4 years after being "active" for 2 years prior to that.

I'm in a really good place right now and both me and the guy I've been seeing have officially agreed on it


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## Renewed1

I'm trying lord I really am


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## LovinCurls

I would like to join this challenge


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## Haddasah

I'm joining this challenge. I want to have pure thoughts and speech, and to stop talking to my Ex all together.


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## apemay1969

bumpitty bump


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## NinasLongAmbition

I'm just starting out hasn't even been one month yet but I want to join this challenge


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## AtlantaJJ

I'm going strong and I can see the spiritual, emotional, spiritual and physical benefits are very strong for me!!


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## felic1

I am celibate. I think it will be a good idea not to have any male company in the home. The painter or the ceiling repair man are not company. I am really happy with the quiet body and the no man drama. @stephluv   you and whatever happened in your past are a new creature. You do not have a tainted past. God forgot.


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## beingofserenity

It's been 21,weeks for me lol. But it's easy since I'm not dating anyone. It'll be a challenge once I start dating again....


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## felic1

I am holding on or he is holding me. I am happy with the quiet body. I have had some unacceptable thoughts in the last two weeks.


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## felic1

Still standing


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## beingofserenity

beingofserenity said:


> It's been 21,weeks for me lol. But it's easy since I'm not dating anyone. It'll be a challenge once I start dating again....



Almost a year later and I failed spectacularly. Need to get married because I'm not about that celibate life, grrr.


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## GoingNatural

My husband and I abstained while engaged. What got us through is the thought that we didn't want to cause the other person to sin. I love him so much, every time I wanted to have sex I remembered that I didn't want to be the person that caused him to fail/sin. His holiness came before my weakenesss


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## mz.rae

Struggling with this right now, me and my SO are celibate and abstaining. We've been together a year in a half and it's so hard!! It's hard keeping my thoughts at bay, I just don't know what to do.


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## topsyturvy86

For those that are/ have been in relationships a while, are there any practical things you do/ did that helped with this? 

My boundary up to now has been no staying over so we're helping ourselves as well and not flirting with temptation. It's worked so far but starting not to make sense as we live in different County's (sort of like City's) and it's just more practical especially when we have late evening plans so i'm thinking to relax that boundary a bit to make sense

Did you stay over and still stay celibate in your relationship? Is this possible?

Thanks


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## blessedandfavoured

mz.rae said:


> Struggling with this right now, me and my SO are celibate and abstaining. We've been together a year in a half and it's so hard!! It's hard keeping my thoughts at bay, I just don't know what to do.



Hello @mz.rae, when you are tempted, please remember Christ's suffering on the cross.  It was to deliver you from the power of sin and to give you the power, through God's Holy Spirit, to resist temptation.  Jesus has paid the price for your freedom - walk in it.  Fasting and prayer also help, and worshipping in God's presence and caring about His business.  An idle mind is the devil's workshop, as they say, but the Word tells us to keep our minds on things above (Colossians 3:1-3).  Also, you should probably avoid being alone together for extended periods of time, and especially at night.  I hope this helps.  May God bless and keep you, amen.



topsyturvy86 said:


> For those that are/ have been in relationships a while, are there any practical things you do/ did that helped with this?
> 
> My boundary up to now has been no staying over so we're helping ourselves as well and not flirting with temptation. It's worked so far but starting not to make sense as we live in different County's (sort of like City's) and it's just more practical especially when we have late evening plans so i'm thinking to relax that boundary a bit to make sense
> 
> Did you stay over and still stay celibate in your relationship? Is this possible?
> 
> Thanks


Hello @topsyturvy86, I think staying over might be the top of a slippery slope.  Like you already said, you've avoided it in order to avoid flirting with temptation.  That is the wise thing to do.  The Bible says to avoid all appearances of evil - does it look right that one of you is staying over in the other's house?  Maybe you would be better off making plans that aren't so late in the evening, or be prepared to take a taxi or such (assuming you don't have your own transportation) home.  No matter the cost, it's a small price to pay to honor God in your relationship.  See above picture.  Think about the price Jesus has already paid so you can live freely in Him.  Beware that you don't fall.  I hope this helps.  God bless you and help you make the wise decision, amen.

Bonus scriptures: Hebrews 2:17-18, 2 Corinthians 10:3-5


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## kanozas

One of my divorced girlfriends said regarding celibacy,  "I just think  about a  deadly disease being on the other side of a thin condom."   We know we get G-d's forgiveness but we won't know if there's a physical cross to catch to send us out of here sooner than normal.


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## Abbasgirl

Hi, I am new to this forum. I am a virgin and I am 53 years old.


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