# Oral Sex in the Christian Marriage?!?!?!



## tffy2004 (Aug 12, 2006)

The title of this thread pretty much says it all, I would like to know from those who don't mind sharing, what are your views on Oral Sex in the Christian Marriage?

I think that Christians as a whole don't really talk about sex with each other or with our children it seems to be taboo  if you will.

I am married to a P.K.(preacher's kid) both of his parents are preachers.  I must confess that my husband and I enjoy oral sex.  But there was a time when we didn't know if it was ok with God.  One weekend his mother had a womens weekend at a hotel in Dallas and everyone could write down a question and put it in a basket.  One of them was about sex, she mentioned that oral sex is not of God.  She went on to add that when a man and woman stand next to or in front of each other their bodies are line up as they should be as in mouth to mouth and genital to genital.

At that time I didn't know anything about the bible so my husband and I talked and we decided to stop having oral sex.  Well as I got into my bible and did research I found that the bible does say that the "Marriage Bed is Undefiled."

Do you feel that this includes oral sex and any other sex between the husband and wife?


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## pebbles (Aug 12, 2006)

*Please be advised, this question is being asked from a Christian perspective. As such, responses should be given in that same vein. Inappropriate, argumentative responses will be deleted. Thank-you! :Rose: *


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## pebbles (Aug 12, 2006)

Tiff, 

I am so happy that you and your husband are able to have a happy and healthy sexual relationship. It's what God intended!! 

As I mentioned to you before, I respectfully disagree with your mother-in-law.
Hebrews 13:4 says that the marriage bed is undefiled. What does that mean? Just what it says. Any sexual act within the confines of marriage, that brings joy and/or pleasure to the husband and wife is permissable in the eyes of God. 

I think that many Christians have forgotten that sex was created by God. It was His intention that a husband and wife would enjoy a happy sexual relationship. Unfortunately, the enemy has perverted God's intention for sex, and with the deviation of God's orginal plan, in comes all of the negativity and confusion. 

I truly feel that where God is silent, many church leaders need to be silent as well. Nowhere in the word of God does He tell us what type of sex one is to enjoy or not enjoy with their spouse. It's up to the couple and what's comfortable for them.

I've been talking to a young woman who is having such a hard time with her husband because her scope of what is acceptable in the marriage bed is so minimized by the teachings she was exposed to. And this has led to a very unhappy marriage. I pray for her, and I have been speaking to her about the importance of asking the Lord to free her from all the negative teachings she's been subjected to. 

Church folks have a way of making marriage seem so boring, and Lord knows, the married people are the ones with the license to do as they please in their beds. Instead of telling people what they can't do, the preachers need to start telling the saints what they CAN do. It is important to teach the saints that it's OK to enjoy physical intimacy with your spouse, and the only restrictions are the things outside of the couples comfort zones. This would help tremendously, particularly with the young married ladies who have a long married life ahead of them.

Sex isn't everything in a marriage, but it's a big enough part that it merits some honest and clean discussion between godly men and women.


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## dontspeakdefeat (Aug 12, 2006)

Pebbles that was very well said and I agree with you 100% !


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## sunnyjohn (Aug 12, 2006)

Pebbles,

You  and Shimmie need to get started on a book for married Christians, with a quickness!

~~


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## pebbles (Aug 12, 2006)

sunnyjohn said:
			
		

> Pebbles,
> 
> You  and Shimmie need to get started on a book for married Christians, with a quickness!
> 
> ~~



LOL!  Thanks for the compliment!


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## GodsPromises (Aug 12, 2006)

I couldn't had agreed more Pebbles.  I am married to a preacher and as Pebble stated there is no where in the bible does it say what to do or not to do in the marriage bed.  As long as both parties are comforable and happy in the marriage.


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## Shimmie (Aug 12, 2006)

*Tiffy2004:*  You truly have the 'boldness' of the Holy Spirit. You speak up ad you do it in decency and in order.  God is pleased.  

*Pebbles:*  You speak straight from the heart of God.  In marriage our bodies belong to God *and* to each other, and God did say to withhold 'not' ourselves from one another.  The marriage bed truly* is* undefiled; outside of marriage is the real concern.   

Love between a man and a woman is such a beautiful thing...a gift from God and these days, this gift is beyond priceless.  

God tells us, "Don't be so spiritually minded that you are no earthly good."  So by His divine approval, we are to enjoy our marriages.  When I get married, I'm surely not going to allow somone else to enjoy it for me. And I will not be yielding out of fear...just loving my husband.  I have many Romance plans for when that time comes; all which God has given me.

The difference is that whatever we do as Christians, we do it to the Glory of God our Father.  Our marriages, we dedicate to Him and Him alone and He has blessed our marriage bed.   (Key words--- the only words): "Marriage Bed."  

*SunnyJohn:* I like what you said about Peb's and me writing a book...but Pebbles doesn't 'know me' like you do....  I have a 'Rep' ...  (love you "SunnyJ")

*"DSD", *youknows, 'how I do...."   (Loving Hugs to you)

"Precious *LadyR*, you know me too   (I love you, sweet one).

Kidding aside: I'm honored that God would even consider to use me and I cry each time someone says they are blessed.   I love you, ladies...you are my angels...

{{{{{ "Mommie  Hugs" }}}}}


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## pebbles (Aug 12, 2006)

ShimmieGirl said:
			
		

> God tells us, "Don't be so spiritually minded that you are no earthly good."  So by His divine approval, we are to enjoy our marriages...



The young woman I mentioned before in my earlier post is suffering in one of the most unhappy marriages I've ever witnessed.

Apparently, her mother had her at 16 and out of wedlock. She was raised by her grandmother, and unfortunately, her grandmother really did a number on her. Just to quote a few of the things her grandmother taught her:

-A woman's breast is strictly for nursing, and anything else, touching by her husband or otherwise is forbidden.
-Sex is really to be enjoyed by her husband. She should be mindful not to find too much pleasure in it lest she becomes addicted. And she is to be silent during the act.
-She shouldn't allow her husband to see her body. Outside of the bed, she should be covered at all times because the body is a symbol of sin for her husband. ???
-Etc....

And on and on the madness goes. How does one undo this amount of brainwashing? I can only direct her to pray and pray for and with her. I also talk to her and give her scripture where she can see what the word of God says. When God doesn't want us to do something, He says so. God doesn't mince words. And if God said any of the things above, her grandma couldn't show her where it was in the book.


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## firecracker (Aug 12, 2006)

pebbles said:
			
		

> *Please be advised, this question is being asked from a Christian perspective. As such, responses should be given in that same vein. Inappropriate, argumentative responses will be deleted. Thank-you! :Rose: *


 

   er'ythang is deletable but errah on this subject I ain't mad at cha


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## pebbles (Aug 12, 2006)

firecracker said:
			
		

> er'ythang is deletable but errah on this subject I ain't mad at cha



LOL! You know how it goes. When you're talking from a Christian perspective on this type of subject, some folks get upset and swear responses are being judgemental of others, but it needs to be understand that what's good for the world isn't good in the eyes of God, and that's the perspective we're coming from.


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## firecracker (Aug 12, 2006)

pebbles said:
			
		

> LOL! You know how it goes. When you're talking from a Christian perspective on this type of subject, some folks get upset and swear responses are being judgemental of others, but it needs to be understand that what's good for the world isn't good in the eyes of God, and that's the perspective we're coming from.


 
Oh I understand for sure.


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## tffy2004 (Aug 12, 2006)

I can't believe that poor girls grandmother would tell her those things.  That really does disturb me that there are people out there not enjoying sex with their husbands because of what they have been told they can't and shouldn't do.....Hmmmm......


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## pebbles (Aug 13, 2006)

I'm surprised as well! How did that sort of thinking make it past Victorian times? I never thought I'd hear such things.

While this young woman has told me that she doesn't believe much of what her grandmother has taught her, clearly she's been greatly affected by most of it. I can tell just by the types of struggles she tells me about.

With all these hang-ups, it's a miracle she can even talk about it to me, but God is good!

The lesson here is that engaged couples need to talk about these issues so that both parties are on the same page. We know that as Christians, the word of God says that we can't "test-drive" our future mates, but we do need to have open dialogue, and I think had these two had open and honest discussions between them, much of these archaic views could have been dealt with through godly counseling prior to the wedding. This issue wouldn't have morphed into the monster that it is today.

And while I'm on the topic of open and honest discussion of a sexual nature with your future husband,* I have a message for my sisters who are engaged and reading this advice:* please conduct these discussions in an area where you won't be tempted to run to the nearest bed and just do the wild thing. Don't discuss this in his apartment or yours while you're alone together. 

Go to the park, go to a restaurant, someplace public, please!!! The point is to get to know what your future husband thinks of marital intimacy and to let him know how you feel about the same issues, not to tempt him beyond endurance. And some of the things that need to be discussed may excite him or you. Don't put yourselves in a situation where you end up ruining what you're trying to preserve, which is a godly courtship until marriage. 

Whew! Sorry ladies, didn't mean to get preachy about it, but somethings need to be said.

This has been a public service announcement from your friendly Christian therapist. 

LOL!!


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## tffy2004 (Aug 13, 2006)

*This has been a public service announcement from your friendly Christian therapist. *

That is too funny....


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## firecracker (Aug 13, 2006)

pebbles said:
			
		

> Sex is really to be enjoyed by her husband. She should be mindful not to find too much pleasure in it lest she becomes addicted. And she is to be silent during the act.
> 
> And on and on the madness goes. How does one undo this amount of brainwashing?


 
I think some parents do this to scare you into repressing your sexual urges and gives way to sexual inadequacy that is far reaching.


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## dontspeakdefeat (Aug 13, 2006)

pebbles said:
			
		

> This has been a public service announcement from your friendly Christian therapist.
> 
> LOL!!


Too funny!!  Everything you said was needed, indeed.


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## Supergirl (Aug 13, 2006)

pebbles said:
			
		

> I'm surprised as well! How did that sort of thinking make it past Victorian times? I never thought I'd hear such things.
> 
> While this young woman has told me that she doesn't believe much of what her grandmother has taught her, clearly she's been greatly affected by most of it. I can tell just by the types of struggles she tells me about.
> 
> ...




Awww, say it now, sista!  
 ::waving my holy handkerchief in the air atcha Pebs::


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## Supergirl (Aug 13, 2006)

firecracker said:
			
		

> I think some parents do this to scare you into repressing your sexual urges and gives way to sexual inadequacy that is far reaching.





Yes, I have a darling friend whose mother told her that sex is good for nothing but getting pregnant and that having a baby is like squeezing a watermelon through a straw.  My friend is still a virgin (which is good)... for obvious reasons. (but the reasons aren't good)


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## Southernbella. (Aug 13, 2006)

This is a subject near to my heart. I have been affected by some things I learned in the church about sex and marriage. I'm still learning and healing from it.

Anyway, I agree with everything that was stated here.


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## Shimmie (Aug 13, 2006)

Pebs, what does the word *'verdant' *mean?

I'm being silly, angel.  Pay me no mind.  I've been reading the "Song of Solomom". Here's the scripture (NIV translation). 

"How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And '*our bed is verdant. '  *(Song of Solomon 1:16-17)

I read this scripture and my mind went 'Christian' on me   I hesitated to proceed with reading and came straight up in here to get redeemed... 

 Seriously though.......Before marriage, each Bride *should* take a course of "The Song of Solomon" and *not* be able to get married until they 'agree' with its contents for marriage...  Further, is should be a marriage manual for all couples.   "I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine." SOS 2:16

ETA:  I wondered if Christian men have sexual repressions somewhat similar.   I asked my 'friend'  (over the phone 'Pebs' ), what he thought.  He said 'men' don't have that problem.  With them, after they say "I Do", it's all go.   

This is all the more reason for a woman to be 'free' and as ease sexually, otherwise her husband will feel he's being rejected or that he can't please her. After that, I left the subject alone... 

Cause I'm a good girl...Pebbles   I'm staying 'repressed and fully dressed until marriage.


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## pebbles (Aug 13, 2006)

LOL @ Shimmie!  

The Song of Solomon should be required reading for couples, those to be married, and those already married who need to know what intimacy should be like between them.

And I'm glad you had that discussion with your male friend, and over the phone, too! Good girl, sweetie!! I'm proud of you! LOL! 

Seriously, I don't think the brothers suffer from the same hang ups some of our Christian sisters suffer from. I think as Firecracker and Supergirl mentioned, some parents teach their daughters a lot of these things to keep them in line, probably because with the risk of pregnancy, it would be more obvious that the girls were sexually active than the boys. I'm not sure that's all of it, but I think that's a big part of it.


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## Bunny77 (Aug 13, 2006)

I just want to say that this is a great thread. I really wish we could find a way to get the message across to young women that they should treasure their bodies, but at the same time, not so much that we make them believe that sex is dirty and improper for a woman.

(all in marriage, of course!!!)


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## dreamer26 (Aug 13, 2006)

Bunny77 said:
			
		

> I just want to say that this is a great thread. I really wish we could find a way to get the message across to young women that they should treasure their bodies, but at the same time, not so much that we make them believe that sex is dirty and improper for a woman.
> 
> (all in marriage, of course!!!)


 

I agree this is a great thread,  How do we get the message across to our young women, well the bible tells the older women to instruct the younger.  Ladies that are mature in the gospel and the understanding of the word, should be teaching the younger.

Many of us can't teach what we don't know and we can't lead where we're afraid to go.  

We need some trail blazers in the body of Christ, Pebbles and Shimmie I think you two have been nominated to write the first book.


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## pebbles (Aug 13, 2006)

I think one of the biggest obstacles in teaching young women to honor and treasure their bodies is what the world teaches is acceptable sexual behavior outside of marriage for women. This is the biggest reason why we have grandmothers and great grandmothers and church mothers teaching and passing on so much of this damaging misinformation. They mean well, but they're doing more damage in the long run, and Christian marriages are suffering where they should be free and liberated.

We can't change how the world thinks, but the Christian women of today need to teach their daughters, and their sons, that abstaining from sex is the highest form of respect a woman can pay herself. And the men need to be taught to respect the bounderies we set for ourselves.

Somebody needs to point out the vast number of sexually active single women who are unhappy, moving through multiple, multiple sexual relationships. They're not getting anything out of it except hurt and emotionally bruised, and they're sadly passing their experiences on to the next generation of young women.

Aside from church, the majority of the work needs to be done in the home. Single Christian women need to walk the walk, not just talk it. Be an example for our daughters to follow. We can't tell the young girls how to live if we ourselves aren't living right. They will copy what they see. 

We have to be careful not to be hypocrites. Lord knows the world has enough hypocrites to go around.


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## Blossssom (Aug 13, 2006)

Are Christians supposed to have sex outside of the purpose of procreation?  I've always wondered about that.  

Does the Bible speak about having sex for pleasure?


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## good2uuuu (Aug 13, 2006)

Blossssom said:
			
		

> Are Christians supposed to have sex outside of the purpose of procreation?  I've always wondered about that.
> 
> Does the Bible speak about having sex for pleasure?


  I believe the Song of Solomon makes it plain. Unfortuantely, too many folks like to disregard this book of the Bible and are uncomfortable reading it.  Furthermore, when God created Adam and Eve, He told them to cleave to each other, become one. Yes, He did tell them to be fruitful and multiply, but He also told them to be intimate with each other. Marital intimacy is the only thing that represents how close our relationship should be with God. Actually, our relationship with God should be moreso intimate than our relationship with our spouse, which, of course the Song of Solomon is also speaking about.This how we are desigened by His hand. It is just so sad to me that so many are taught that sex is not for pleasure inside marriage. I'm not mad at anyone for telling their kids that sex is awful outside marriage, or whatever, but let 'em know it's a beautiful thang after the 'I do's'.


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## sunnyjohn (Aug 13, 2006)

ShimmieGirl said:
			
		

> Pebs, what does the word *'verdant' *mean?
> 
> I'm being silly, angel.  Pay me no mind.  I've been reading the "Song of Solomom". Here's the scripture (NIV translation).
> 
> ...




*verdant *\VUR-dnt\, adjective:
1. Covered with growing plants or grass; green with vegetation.
2. Green.
3. Unripe in knowledge, judgment, or experience; unsophisticated; green, Lacking experience or sophistication; naive.

 Anything to help...


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## tffy2004 (Aug 14, 2006)

Wow I have never really paid attention to Song of Solomon I will make sure I read it..


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## determine3 (Aug 15, 2006)

> Wow I have never really paid attention to Song of Solomon I will make sure I read it..


 Me too!  I have some reading to do.


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## Shimmie (Aug 15, 2006)

Know what's really beautiful about the Song of Solomon?

The woman he loves............................has.....................................








Beautiful Black Skin.    That's means we win.    

I have to be real about something and then I'm going to leave it alone.   For years, even _after_ I was married/divorced, I was always told that Oral Sex was only done by White people. For real! It was always joked about by the people I knew (family/friends) in our race.  

When I was a teenager and having 'girl talks' about sex, I would hear this.  The group of girls would giggle and I giggle right along with them...still not having a 'clue' what they meant.  

At the time I didn't have a clue what having sex was anyway.  That was dangerous, because I ended up pregnant by the first 'boy/man' my mom allowed me to date when I was 16 which led to an early marriage where I didn't know much about sex at all.   

And still don't after being celibate for 24 years...  My point is that even without 'knowledge' this I 'know', God does not have a problem with this.  Loving our husbands completely is not a sin.   

I hope I said this right...  and kept it 'clean'.


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## MrsHouston (Aug 16, 2006)

Tffy, I found an article from a scripturally sound website that may help.  

(And for the record my thoughts are as a married woman: Married people can do whatever they want in their marriage bed~)

Question: Are there any restrictions in the Bible against certain kinds of sexual acts between a husband and his wife?

Here is what the New Testament teaches:

1 Cor. 7:3-5
3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

The "duty" here refers to sexual intimacy. In a marriage each partner is to satisfy the sexual needs of the other. There are no prohibitions placed on the type of sexual activity. This is not to say that the husband can force himself upon his wife, or vise versa, both should mutually agree on the "type" of sexual activity. Sex in marriage is intended by God to be pleasurable. Whatever both the husband and the wife agree upon is acceptable.

That having been said, there are certain types of sexual activity which can be hazardous to one's health. This is such a delicate area I do not want to elaborate any further, but if you have questions about sexual activity which can be unhealthy I suggest you talk to your physician.

The point of the passage above is that husbands and wives are to meet the sexual needs of their partners. To fail to do so will allow Satan an opportunity to cause one or both to stumble.


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## MrsHouston (Aug 16, 2006)

Also notice in the article that the bible is speaking to a MAN and HIS WIFE only, not the mother-in-law, preacher, etc.  The decision is strictly theirs only.


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## dlewis (Aug 16, 2006)

Great thread............


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## pebbles (Aug 16, 2006)

ShimmieGirl said:
			
		

> Know what's really beautiful about the Song of Solomon?
> 
> The woman he loves............................has.....................................
> 
> ...


 
You said it right, kept it clean, and were on point!


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## pebbles (Aug 16, 2006)

MrsHouston said:
			
		

> Tffy, I found an article from a scripturally sound website that may help.
> 
> (And for the record my thoughts are as a married woman: Married people can do whatever they want in their marriage bed~)
> 
> ...


 
EXCELLENT!!!


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## pebbles (Aug 16, 2006)

MrsHouston said:
			
		

> Also notice in the article that the bible is speaking to a MAN and HIS WIFE only, not the mother-in-law, preacher, etc. The decision is strictly theirs only.


 
You better say it again, girl!!


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## Nice & Wavy (Aug 16, 2006)

*My husband and I teach marriage workshops.  One workshop deals with Sex & Romance.  This is my husbands favorite class, of course.  *

This scripture says it all and my husband uses it every chance he gets!
*Proverbs 5:18-20*

*18 - Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. *

*19 - Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. *


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## pebbles (Aug 16, 2006)

Nice & Wavy said:
			
		

> *My husband and I teach marriage workshops. One workshop deals with Sex & Romance. This is my husbands favorite class, of course.  *
> 
> This scripture says it all and my husband uses it every chance he gets!
> *Proverbs 5:18-20*
> ...


 
LOL!! Too funny! I'd bet every Christian man loves those passages!


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## dlewis (Aug 16, 2006)

Nice & Wavy said:
			
		

> *My husband and I teach marriage workshops.  One workshop deals with Sex & Romance.  This is my husbands favorite class, of course.  *
> 
> This scripture says it all and my husband uses it every chance he gets!
> *Proverbs 5:18-20*
> ...




I think I'll frame this and give it to my husband as a gift.  He'll love that.


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## Nice & Wavy (Aug 16, 2006)

pebbles said:
			
		

> LOL!! Too funny! I'd bet every Christian man loves those passages!


 
You would be surprised at how many men *DON'T* know those passages.  Everytime we ask them to open their bibles to read it, you can see their eyes lighting up and then they turn and look at their wives like "Awww...here we go now".   It's hysterical...my husband turns beet red everytime he reads the part about the "let her breast satisfy you always..."


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## Nice & Wavy (Aug 16, 2006)

dlewis said:
			
		

> I think I'll frame this and give it to my husband as a gift. He'll love that.


 
That is such a great idea....I think I'll do the same.  My husband will love that too!!!


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## tffy2004 (Aug 16, 2006)

I too am going frame those passages and hang them in our bedroom.  My husband is going to love it..


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## pebbles (Aug 16, 2006)

Nice & Wavy said:
			
		

> You would be surprised at how many men *DON'T* know those passages. Everytime we ask them to open their bibles to read it, you can see their eyes lighting up and then they turn and look at their wives like "Awww...here we go now". It's hysterical...my husband turns beet red everytime he reads the part about the "let her breast satisfy you always..."


 
Oh my goodness, I would have thought most Christian men knew those passages!   LOL!!


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## Nice & Wavy (Aug 16, 2006)

pebbles said:
			
		

> Oh my goodness, I would have thought most Christian men knew those passages!  LOL!!


 
Me too...LOL!


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## Sweet C (Aug 17, 2006)

Nice & Wavy said:
			
		

> You would be surprised at how many men *DON'T* know those passages. Everytime we ask them to open their bibles to read it, you can see their eyes lighting up and then they turn and look at their wives like "Awww...here we go now". It's hysterical...my husband turns beet red everytime he reads the part about the "let her breast satisfy you always..."


 
That's hilarious, b/c that verse is probably my husband's favorite


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## Blossssom (Aug 17, 2006)

Wow... reading the last few posts of this thread, I'm glad to see so many women who are true to their religion and willing to please their husbands in every way possible.

I haven't read the Songs of Solomon in some time, but plan to this weekend.  I do recall the woman being conscious of her complexion.  Was Solomon STILL attracted to her?  I'll see for myself.

Good did answer my question about oral sex, but I will see for myself.  That is one thing I've learned in life, know things for yourself.  Read up on it


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## dlewis (Aug 17, 2006)

Blossssom said:
			
		

> Wow... reading the last few posts of this thread, I'm glad to see so many women who are true to their religion and willing to please their husbands in every way possible.
> 
> I haven't read the Songs of Solomon in some time, but plan to this weekend.  I do recall the woman being conscious of her complexion.  Was Solomon STILL attracted to her?  I'll see for myself.
> 
> Good did answer my question about oral sex, but I will see for myself.  That is one thing I've learned in life, *know things for yourself.  Read up on it *



I agree, don't just take someone else's word for it.


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## Honey6928215 (Aug 19, 2006)

WOW! This is interestng.  Learn something new everyday.


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## sithembile (Aug 20, 2006)

This is a great thread, I agree with you ladies, the marriage bed is undefiled, it was intended for pleasure!

I believe that anything goes so long as it is consentual, does not bring harm or involve other people/pornography etc.


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## melodee (Aug 20, 2006)

Interesting post and discussion.  I also agree that the marriage bed is meant for pleasure and enjoyment between the husband and wife!  Glad we can discuss these things.  I enjoy intimacy with my husband as God intended it--it always make me look forward to heaven, cause God has something in store for us that's better than sex--oh my!


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## Saida (Aug 20, 2006)

I also agree that the husband and wife should be able to enjoy eachother to the fullest, infact in my religion you get reward everytime you satisfie your husbad or wife. the only thing forbidden is Anal Sex, since its the actions of homosexuals( i hope i dont offend anyone)


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## Tee (Aug 21, 2006)

MrsHouston said:
			
		

> Tffy, I found an article from a scripturally sound website that may help.
> 
> (And for the record my thoughts are as a married woman: Married people can do whatever they want in their marriage bed~)
> 
> ...


 
This is excellent!


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## tffy2004 (Aug 21, 2006)

Saida said:
			
		

> I also agree that the husband and wife should be able to enjoy eachother to the fullest, infact in my religion *you get reward everytime you satisfie your husbad or wife*. the only thing forbidden is Anal Sex, since its the actions of homosexuals( i hope i dont offend anyone)


 
That is interesting, I have never heard of that, just out of curiosity, what religion is that?


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## Lucie (Aug 21, 2006)

LadyR said:
			
		

> I couldn't had agreed more Pebbles. I am married to a preacher and as Pebble stated there is no where in the bible does it say what to do or not to do in the marriage bed. As long as both parties are comforable and happy in the marriage.


 
Does that also include anal? No disrespect meant just wondering. I have read the Bible and do not recall seeing anything against it, except for homosexuality.


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## Lucie (Aug 21, 2006)

Saida said:
			
		

> I also agree that the husband and wife should be able to enjoy eachother to the fullest, infact in my religion you get reward everytime you satisfie your husbad or wife. the only thing forbidden is Anal Sex, since its the actions of homosexuals( i hope i dont offend anyone)


 
Is anal sex banned? Or only with homosexuals? Not offended


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## Saida (Aug 21, 2006)

Analsex is banned even between the wife and husband.
Because of many reasons, first this is an act of homosexuals, and also it can ( CAN) be dangerous, the muscle can blast and your stuff will be all over the place, I actually know some people this has happend to, and also going form anal to virginal sex can (can) cause some diseases.

only Anal sex and sex during a womans menustrational period is bannded

tffy2004, Islam


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## Lucie (Aug 22, 2006)

Saida said:
			
		

> Analsex is banned even between the wife and husband.
> Because of many reasons, first this is an act of homosexuals, and also it can ( CAN) be dangerous, the muscle can blast and your stuff will be all over the place, I actually know some people this has happend to, and also going form anal to virginal sex can (can) cause some diseases.
> 
> only Anal sex and sex during a womans menustrational period is bannded
> ...


 
WOW!!! I never knew something like that could happen. I thought that it was only prohibited for homosexuals. Thank you Saida for clearing that up for me. I appreciate it.


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## determine3 (Aug 22, 2006)

> Analsex is banned even between the wife and husband.
> Because of many reasons, first this is an act of homosexuals, and also it can ( CAN) be dangerous, the muscle can blast and your stuff will be all over the place, I actually know some people this has happend to, and also going form anal to virginal sex can (can) cause some diseases.


 but then couldn't we argue that oral sex is bad because this is an act of lesbians?  Just curious because I actually agree that anal sex is a no no.


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## pebbles (Aug 22, 2006)

Saida said:
			
		

> Anal sex is banned even between the wife and husband...
> 
> tffy2004, Islam


 
Just so that we're all clear about this, this in the Islamic faith, correct? Because I've never seen this in the bible. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.


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## Saida (Aug 22, 2006)

determine3 said:
			
		

> but then couldn't we argue that oral sex is bad because this is an act of lesbians?  Just curious because I actually agree that anal sex is a no no.



actually no, because lesbians dont have a penis to put in their mouth.


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## Saida (Aug 22, 2006)

pebbles said:
			
		

> Just so that we're all clear about this, this in the Islamic faith, correct? Because I've never seen this in the bible. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.



pebbles your absoulty right, i also said in my first post, that this was from my religion


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## pebbles (Aug 22, 2006)

Saida said:
			
		

> pebbles your absoulty right, i also said in my first post, that this was from my religion


 
Oh, ok. Sorry, Saida. I wasn't paying close enough attention. Thanks for clearing that up!


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## Saida (Aug 22, 2006)

Anal sex can be risky. Even when people use lots of lubrication during anal sex, there can be tearing of the tissue inside the anus, which is not as well protected as the skin outside the anus. Our external tissue is â€œkerotinized,â€ meaning that it has layers of dead cells that create a thickened protective barrier. The tissue inside the anus does not have this feature. Without plenty of lubrication, anal tissue can tear quite easily, creating openings where bacteria and viruses can enter and cause problems.

http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/?article=faq&refid=125


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## MrsHouston (Aug 23, 2006)

Thanks for speaking up Pebbles...b/c I was thinking that needed to be mentioned again.  

Also we as "Christians" need to learn to speak where the bible speaks and be "silent" where the bible is silent.  The BIBLE states that the marriage bed is undefiled. (Period).  Meaning that what "married" couples do, WHATEVER it might be, is pure and unstained in his eyes.  

Definitions of  undefiled on the Web:

    * immaculate: free from stain or blemish
    * uncorrupted: (of language) not having its purity or excellence debased; "uncorrupted English"; "learn to speak pure English undefiled"- Van Wyck Brooks wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn


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## Blossssom (Aug 23, 2006)

Aw, too bad this anal "talk" is on the Christian forum, because I have something totally funny to tell you about something I saw in San Francisco once.  Heehee.


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## Saida (Aug 23, 2006)

MrsHouston said:
			
		

> Thanks for speaking up Pebbles...b/c I was thinking that needed to be mentioned again.
> 
> Also we as "Christians" need to learn to speak where the bible speaks and be "silent" where the bible is silent.  The BIBLE states that the marriage bed is undefiled. (Period).  Meaning that what "married" couples do, WHATEVER it might be, is pure and unstained in his eyes.
> 
> ...




Im sory if I confussed anyone, I've read the Bible, and it dosent say thats its forbidden at all, just so we have that clear, i was just telling from my side. sorry if anyone missunderstood me, im truly sorry


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## melodee (Aug 23, 2006)

Saida, I can tell you've studied the Bible. You would make a great follower of Christ!  No, I don't recall a direct word from God not to do this.  But He does condemn homosexuality and homosexual acts.  

I think as married couples we should not do what we think is a sin.  If _we believe God doesn't want us(individuals) to participate in a particular act_, and then we do it--we are sinning.  

There are many things that I believe for me would be a sin.  And I don't do them, however, I don't judge those followers that do.  God knows each heart.


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## Shimmie (Aug 23, 2006)

Saida said:
			
		

> I also agree that the husband and wife should be able to enjoy eachother to the fullest, infact in my religion you get reward everytime you satisfie your husbad or wife. the only thing forbidden is Anal Sex, since its the actions of homosexuals( i hope i dont offend anyone)


 
I'm not offended, nor do I believe that anyone else is.   It's such a very complex area to define for while our Bible does not say yea or nay to this specific sexual experience in marriage, there are some Christians who feel it is acceptable and some who do not.  

In our marriage classes Pastor teaches us not to discriminate what a husband and wife agree to.  It's between them and God and no one else.

For me personally, I would have health concerns because as women we are prone to UTI's (Urinary Tract Infections) and the bacteria from the anal area causes this.  

UTI's are no joke!  It's a pain that I not only do not want to experience, but in my marriage, it would surely put a halt to our love-making period.  I can see my husband, not wanting to take that risk.   I won't be able to 'belly dance' my way out of that one.   

I respect and support marriage so much.  To each married couple I pass no judgement.  Just be happy with each other and stay married...Work it out and just stay love with each other and please stay happily married.  

No matter what our religions, there is a spiritual assignment from the devil and his cohorts to destroy the union between man and wife as God ordained it to be.   And it's sad.  

The devil hates marriage.  So much so, that he has perverted its very meaning with homosexuals proclaiming that marriage between two men and two women must be accepted.  This is not what Jesus died for.  

Even the animals know the difference in their genitalia...

I'm sorry ladies.  Truly I apologize.  Please understand that I am 'Word' based and oriented.  What Jesus says, I not only believe, but I strive to live it.   Marriage is your right to have and to hold.  And I do not have a problem fighting for it.  This thread is about more than oral sex, anal sex...sex period.  One of the underlying subjects is really,  "Is this okay?  It makes me and my husband happy."  "I want to keep my marriage alive."

Ladies enjoy your husbands.  Love them.   As a matter of fact, log out from this forum right this minute and go and love your husbands. If he's asleep...Wake him up!  By gently kissing his eyes...and wherever else.  

Single ladies, log out too.  Get your beauty rest, for your husbands are surely on the way... 

It goes for the precious 'mods' too.  Pebs, Supergirl...(beauty rest)

Sweet sleep...angels.


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## Saida (Aug 23, 2006)

ShimmieGirl said:
			
		

> I'm not offended, nor do I believe that anyone else is.   It's such a very complex area to define for while our Bible does not say yea or nay to this specific sexual experience in marriage, there are some Christians who feel it is acceptable and some who do not.
> 
> In our marriage classes Pastor teaches us not to discriminate what a husband and wife agree to.  It's between them and God and no one else.
> 
> ...



Thats so well said Shimmie, i couldnt agree with you more.

unfortunately my husband is in texas 

but good advice, your soo sweet, may God bless your heart


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## Nice & Wavy (Aug 25, 2006)

I didn't know this post was still going on till just now.  

In one of our classes, this was mentioned (anal sex).  To clear it up quickly and easily we said this:

"If God intended for the rectum to be an area for sexual enjoyment, He wouldn't have made a woman to have a vagina."  

A man and a woman fits. Period.


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## Shimmie (Aug 25, 2006)

Blossssom said:
			
		

> Wow... reading the last few posts of this thread, I'm glad to see so many women who are true to their religion and willing to please their husbands in every way possible.
> 
> I haven't read the Songs of Solomon in some time, but plan to this weekend. I do recall the woman being conscious of her complexion. Was Solomon STILL attracted to her? I'll see for myself.
> 
> Good did answer my question about oral sex, but I will see for myself. That is one thing I've learned in life, know things for yourself. Read up on it


 
*Especially, *until we are married to our husbands...*'READ'* up on it... 

Love you, Blosssom... You know I really do...

Loving Hugs...


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## Shimmie (Aug 25, 2006)

*Saida: *  Hugs to you, my precious little sister... As soon as he comes home, 'kiss his eyes..."  'For _'they'_ missed seeing you just as much as his heart does each time he is away...  You know that I also have a prayer that seals this...I always do.  

"Wherever he is, the Spirit of the Lord follows him and brings him safely home...to you.  Here's my Bible scripture to back it up.  From, Genesis 28:15

"Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.â€

You're always in my prayers, Saida.  You are just that precious and special.  When you have a chance, Ephesians 3:14-21 decribes how you are in my heart.  But always in respect for you, Saida.  Always in respect.  The love I feel for you as my sister is geniune and the greatest part of me is the gift of love that I have been given by Jesus.  Saida, I give this gift to you, the best of my heart.   This is for you...

_"For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and heightâ€”  to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen."_

Loving hugs...


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## Saida (Aug 25, 2006)

ShimmieGirl said:
			
		

> *Saida: *  Hugs to you, my precious little sister... As soon as he comes home, 'kiss his eyes..."  'For _'they'_ missed seeing you just as much as his heart does each time he is away...  You know that I also have a prayer that seals this...I always do.
> 
> "Wherever he is, the Spirit of the Lord follows him and brings him safely home...to you.  Here's my Bible scripture to back it up.  From, Genesis 28:15
> 
> ...



Shimmie you stop it now, your going to make me cry

thats so sweet of you, I love you too and your in my prayers also,


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## Shimmie (Aug 25, 2006)

Saida said:
			
		

> Shimmie you stop it now, your going to make me cry
> 
> thats so sweet of you, I love you too and your in my prayers also,


 
Awww, that's what sisters do; we make each other 'cry' (happy tears) and then we hug, give God the praise and thennnnnn ................................. ...........................................we go Shopping!  

I'll drive, you relax and let's head here www.coldwatercreek.com.  Great sale on shoes.  

More hugs....


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## Shimmie (Aug 25, 2006)

Nice & Wavy said:
			
		

> I didn't know this post was still going on till just now.
> 
> In one of our classes, this was mentioned (anal sex). To clear it up quickly and easily we said this:
> 
> ...


 
A perfect fit...Ephesians 2, says we are 'fitly joined' and have been brought nigh to one another by the Blood of Jesus.   That's pure Covenant. 

As for this thread, it will never end for the need of it is too great.  There's Godly advise and very pertinent information here and it's all been presented by everyone in an orderly and Godly fashion.  

"Nice and Wavy", with leaders in ministry such as yourself, Pebbles, Supergirl, Star, LadyR, Melodee, I'm honored.   I'm honored by Saida's presence and sharing her heart with us; to all of the ladies who've shared in this thread...thank you.  For you see,  God is preparing me for a new marriage, and I'm learning from you, what I would never wish to learn from the world.  You are a wonderful addtion to what I have leaned from my Pastors...all in God's order.

From the 'world' is perversion of God's beautiful gift of sex; for they've removed it's value between husband and wife.  From you, you've made talking about sex beautiful and given back it's purity.  So, please keep this thread going.  You've made this a 'good place' to speak in truth about sex and I know that God is well pleased. 

Nothing but love to each of you...


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## Shimmie (Jun 26, 2007)

This is a clean and beautifullly shared thread by all who participated in posting.   

I thought I'd bump it for those interested.  It's very enlightening.   

Peace and Blessings to all.


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## klb120475 (Jun 26, 2007)

Shimmie said:
			
		

> This is a clean and beautifullly shared thread by all who participated in posting.
> 
> I thought I'd bump it for those interested. It's very enlightening.
> 
> Peace and Blessings to all.


 
Thanks for bumping!


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## la flaca (Jun 26, 2007)

Nice & Wavy said:
			
		

> *My husband and I teach marriage workshops. One workshop deals with Sex & Romance. This is my husbands favorite class, of course.  *
> 
> This scripture says it all and my husband uses it every chance he gets!
> *Proverbs 5:18-20*
> ...


 
My husband is a pastor and we deal with young hispanic couples and is very hard to re-teach them about sex and christianity.erplexed


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## Bublnbrnsuga (Jun 26, 2007)

I know this thread is old, but I just wanted to say....

I love giving oral sex to hubby and I am Christian


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## Shimmie (Jun 26, 2007)

la flaca said:
			
		

> My husband is a pastor and we deal with young hispanic couples and is very hard to re-teach them about sex and christianity.erplexed


They will see it through the beauty of the love that you share with your husband.   It will be by your example and the leading of the Holy Spirit who dwells so richly within both of your hearts...as 'One.'  The two of you have a love for God and for each other so rich, that none can be unaffected by it...for change.  Christlike change.   Relax in the Lord and just be 'you.'  

They will see....through both of you.


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## kweenameena (Jun 26, 2007)

This thread makes me miss my husband (he's in Baghdad). Good thread, though!


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## kbragg (Jun 26, 2007)

Be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets! It's all good sis' do yo thang! Hey someone had to say it! Ya'll should've known it would be me!


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## Mahalialee4 (Jun 26, 2007)

Saida said:
			
		

> I also agree that the husband and wife should be able to enjoy eachother to the fullest, infact in my religion you get reward everytime you satisfie your husbad or wife. the only thing forbidden is Anal Sex, since its the actions of homosexuals( i hope i dont offend anyone)



It is or was banned in several of the United States: However, could someone direct me to the Scriptures where it specifically states a.s is banned by God or the Bible between married couples. I am not sure why anyone would want to have it, personally, but I just want to know from a Christian perspective. Just the specific scripture quote only would be sufficient. I do not plan to debate anything at all. bonjour.


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## Shimmie (Jun 26, 2007)

kweenameena said:
			
		

> This thread makes me miss my husband (he's in Baghdad). Good thread, though!


He's coming home angel and he's safely kept...  

For you Darlin'...  

God says, "Do you need me?  I Am There."   I am Jehovah Shammah, the God who is 'There' and everywhere the soles of your husband's feet shall trod upon, be it land, the sea or the air...I the Lord, I Am There.  

So give me your care and allow me to share the missing of him you fear and feel.  Let it never be thought that my love for him and for you is not real, for it is and always will be.   Beloved daughter of mine...with you and with him...I Am There." 

Ephesians 2:  'You who sometimes were afar off... are brought nigh to one another by the Blood of Jesus..."

In Jesus' name...Amen...


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## kweenameena (Jun 26, 2007)

Shimmie said:
			
		

> He's coming home angel and he's safely kept...
> 
> For you Darlin'...
> 
> ...


Amen...........................I needed that! I miss him.


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## Shimmie (Jun 26, 2007)

Mahalialee4 said:
			
		

> It is or was banned in several of the United States: However, could someone direct me to the Scriptures where it specifically states a.s is banned by God or the Bible between married couples. I am not sure why anyone would want to have it, personally, but I just want to know from a Christian perspective. Just the specific scripture quote only would be sufficient. I do not plan to debate anything at all. bonjour.


There is no 'specific' scripture that says verbatim 'abstain from anal sex'; at least none that I am personally aware of, in the Bible.   

I neither condone nor condemn it between a husband and wife.  Only from my personal choice I would choose to abstain from anal intercourse due to the diseases associated with it.   Ecoli (a bacteria which it known to come from fecal matter) is nothing to play with.   It will cause serious bladder infections (hence we are taught to wipe ourselves from front to back).   

Also, the anal area is very delicate and a painful experience for many women (and even men who have been abused).  The tissues in the anal area are very delicate and prone to infections and other injuries from internal malipulation (constant penetration).   

Here's a website shared by our member Saida in a post above...

http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/?article=faq&refid=125

However,* I cannot and will not judge a husband and wife who have found pleasure in this.*   The marriage bed is undefiled...man and woman married as husband and wife.  A woman's body belongs to her husband and his body belongs to his wife and they are not to withhold themselves from one another.   

What they agree to do together as one is their business.  This is between the two of them sharing an intimate moment with each other which should be between them only and with God.   BTW:  The only Holy Threesome is the husband, wife and God as their Divine, and Pure Keeper in their marriage.  

My personal reasons for not having anal intercourse are just that, my personal reasons.


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## Shimmie (Jun 26, 2007)

kweenameena said:
			
		

> Amen...........................I needed that! I miss him.


He's coming home.   Now...get that hair ready.


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## Shimmie (Jun 26, 2007)

kbragg said:
			
		

> Be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets! It's all good sis' do yo thang! Hey someone had to say it! Ya'll should've known it would be me!


 
Preach...


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## StrawberryQueen (Jun 26, 2007)

Nice & Wavy said:
			
		

> I didn't know this post was still going on till just now.
> 
> In one of our classes, this was mentioned (anal sex). To clear it up quickly and easily we said this:
> 
> ...


But if the marriage bed is undefiled, how can you say this?   This statement seems slightly contrdictory to what's in the Bible.  Couldn't you say the same thing about a man who touches his wife's breasts?  He shouldn't touch them because they aren't the vagina and aren't made for pleasure. The breasts, just like the behind can give pleasure CONTRDICTORY to what their natural fucntions are.


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## StrawberryQueen (Jun 26, 2007)

Shimmie said:
			
		

> There is no 'specific' scripture that says verbatim 'abstain from anal sex'; at least none that I am personally aware of, in the Bible.
> 
> I neither condone nor condemn it between a husband and wife.  Only from my personal choice I would choose to abstain from anal intercourse due to the diseases associated with it.   Ecoli (a bacteria which it known to come from fecal matter) is nothing to play with.   It will cause serious bladder infections (hence we are taught to wipe ourselves from front to back).
> 
> ...


Well said!  I think whatever folks want to do in their beds is up to them.

Shoot, you're (in these situations) married for goodness sakes!  You should be able to fly your freak flag and be proud!


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## kweenameena (Jun 26, 2007)

StrawberryQueen said:
			
		

> Well said! I think whatever folks want to do in their beds is up to them.
> 
> Shoot, you're (in these situations) married for goodness sakes! *You should be able to fly your freak flag and be proud!*


 

Okayyyyyyyyy?!!!


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## Shimmie (Jun 26, 2007)

StrawberryQueen said:
			
		

> Well said! I think whatever folks want to do in their beds is up to them.
> 
> Shoot, you're (in these situations) married for goodness sakes! You should be able to fly your freak flag and be proud!


 
 'Freak Flag'... I love it... That's a good one Strawberry.


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## kbragg (Jun 26, 2007)

StrawberryQueen said:
			
		

> Well said! I think whatever folks want to do in their beds is up to them.
> 
> Shoot, you're (in these situations) married for goodness sakes! You should be able to *fly your freak flag and be proud*!


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## Shimmie (Jun 26, 2007)

StrawberryQueen said:
			
		

> But if the marriage bed is undefiled, how can you say this? This statement seems slightly contrdictory to what's in the Bible. Couldn't you say the same thing about a man who touches his wife's breasts? He shouldn't touch them because they aren't the vagina and aren't made for pleasure. The breasts, just like the behind can give pleasure CONTRDICTORY to what their natural fucntions are.


You know what Strawberry?  The butt is a very 'touchy' area.  In more ways than one...    Well, it is.   

We work this area in the gym to make our glutes tight and firm and attractive.   And our husbands love to touch our pretty bottoms.  

But when it comes to going 'inside', that's a whole 'nuther' thread to put through the eye of a needle.  It's too controversial and not for religious reasons, alone, but just for what is up there makes one shutter...not many want to try that type of peanut butter.   Hey, I'm being 'real'.  

Hence, the reasons for both religious and non-religious, married or unmarried reasons that anal intercourse is taboo for many, many couples.

That being said, you will encounter many, many expressions from many, many persons for abstaining from such.   

Now, in comparison to touching and enjoying his wife's breasts, the Bible DOES specifically say that a husband shall be satified at his wife's breasts at all times.        And in the book of the Song of Solomon, you will see how Solomon made mention of the beauty of his Bride's breasts.   So the breasts are 'legal' for a man to enjoy  

And yes, the marriage bed is undefiled between a man and woman as husband and wife.  There are couples, Christian, Other faiths, and those not of any faith who do find pleasure in anal intercourse, and I leave it alone due the the scripture that says, the marriage bed is undefiled.   I do not wish to do it ... I shared my reasons in two other posts, but I can't condemn other married couples who do.    

In marriage it appears that what two consulting adults agree to enjoy with each other as man and wife (and it *does not *include a threesome or whatever), but as husband and wife alone, is between them and God. 

I know it's confusing, but I hope this helps with Nice and Wavy's post with whom I understand and agree.  .   And I also understand you too. .  

(((( hugs ))))


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## StrawberryQueen (Jun 26, 2007)

Shimmie said:
			
		

> You know what Strawberry?  The butt is a very 'touchy' area.  In more ways than one...    Well, it is.
> 
> We work this area in the gym to make our glutes tight and firm and attractive.   And our husbands love to touch our pretty bottoms.
> 
> ...


No not confusing at all, I appreciated the clarification.

Kbragg-


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## Nice & Wavy (Jun 26, 2007)

Shimmie said:
			
		

> You know what Strawberry?  The butt is a very 'touchy' area.  In more ways than one...    Well, it is.
> 
> We work this area in the gym to make our glutes tight and firm and attractive.   And our husbands love to touch our pretty bottoms.
> 
> ...




Why thank you Shimmie for sharing this....I'm so glad you did.  *kiss* , *hug*


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## la flaca (Jun 27, 2007)

Shimmie said:
			
		

> Awww, that's what sisters do; we make each other 'cry' (happy tears) and then we hug, give God the praise and thennnnnn ................................. ...........................................we go Shopping!
> 
> I'll drive, you relax and let's head here www.coldwatercreek.com. Great sale on shoes.
> 
> More hugs....


----------



## Shimmie (Jun 27, 2007)

Nice & Wavy said:
			
		

> Why thank you Shimmie for sharing this....I'm so glad you did. *kiss* , *hug*


That's cause I knew what you meant in your post regarding this 'touchy' subject.    The butt is very touchy...very touchy indeed.  :scratchch: 

It's not easy being 'Green"... (Kermit the Frog's song).

It's not easy defining the word of life (green means life); for there is always a 'butt' ... to clear up.

Blessings angel....


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## Zeal (Jun 28, 2007)

Shimmie said:
			
		

> You know what Strawberry? The butt is a very 'touchy' area. In more ways than one...  Well, it is.
> 
> We work this area in the gym to make our glutes tight and firm and attractive. And our husbands love to touch our pretty bottoms.
> 
> ...


 
This is why I love Shimmie.

I don't want no peanut butter, Shimmie.  I don't know who my husband is yet.  But should this be discussed before marriage?  That'a a whole 'nother thread right?


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## Naijaqueen (Jun 28, 2007)

Lovely thread! something to keep in mind when us single heading to the aisle soon females cross over


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## deola (Jun 29, 2007)

My my my!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love this forum !!!!!!!

I T A with everything that has been said, you ladies are so real!

Shimmie can I be your bestseller agent :notworthy cos you are on the way gurl!!!!!!!!! 

All the ladies that have posted something on this thread- to you I duff my hats and do a dance for cos I see that y'all wonderful, have good hearts and are/will be committed to your marriage to keep it going strong. God bless y'all and fill y'all with more wisdom and strength to spend your days in pleasure and years in prosperity with your sweethearts in Jesus' name. Amen 
((Hugs and a teary eye))


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## tffy2004 (Sep 3, 2007)

Bumping for *LondonDiva*


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## la mosca (Dec 31, 2009)

Soooo . . .

What about fantasies in the bedroom?


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## menina (Feb 6, 2012)

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-...ore-common-in-men-than-women-study-finds.html

http://jezebel.com/5846441/oral-sex...best-argument-yet-for-giving-boys-hpv-vaccine

idk but it seems to me if god is allowing this to happen that he does not agree with it


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## Shimmie (Feb 6, 2012)

deola said:


> My my my!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> I love this forum !!!!!!!
> 
> I T A with everything that has been said, you ladies are so real!
> ...



I gotta' go back and read what I posted...


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## Choclatcotton (Feb 7, 2012)

I was advised by an older lady before i got married to be free ahem visually with Dh and to not just wear gramma gowns to bed.  This elder lady said her marriage dissolved because of her tainted mindset received from her mother that sex in marriage was dirty and caused her to keep her clothes on at all times and not display herself.  Her whole posture toward her husband was reserved. She told me she always wore flannel gowns and out of modesty kept herself covered. Her husband got sick of it and left her for another woman.  Not to justify his behavior, but she wishes she would have done things differently.


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## LifeafterLHCF (Feb 7, 2012)

Im not married but if I ever do become married oh all this reserved nonsense is off..why in hell would God say keep sex sacred until you get married for you to only do missionary for 4 minutes annually..that's crazy and any and everything that included both me and a dh would go down..nightly..


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## aribell (Feb 7, 2012)

"Sodomy," by definition, includes both anal and oral sex.  There are still laws against sodomy in some US states.  Prohibitions against sodomy in particular are in the KJV translation.  Subsequent translations have changed the word away from sodomy to other things that address anal sex but not oral sex.

If the KJV translators were correct in the word they chose, then yes, both oral and anal sex are forbidden in Scripture.  What I have not been able to find, however, is exactly why they chose that word and later translators did not.

The blogger at Latter Days does a lot of in depth studies, one of which is about temple prostitution in the OT involving vagina worship and cunnilungus.  It seems the thought is that KJV translators were referring to this practice when they used the word sodomite.  I'll post the link if I can find it.

Also, in Romans, Paul says that women exchanged the natural use for that which is against nature.  Many believers take that only to mean that sexual relations between women are unnatural, but it's also possible to understand Paul as speaking about the sexual *acts* commited between women with women and men with men as being themselves shameful--oral and anal sex.

Also, "fornication" does not only.mean umarried sex, but rather any illicit sexual behavior.  "The marriage bed is undefiled...but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."  The ESV puts it this way:  "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and.adulterous."  I think because we tend to think of fornication only as pre-marital sex, then we think fornication cannot apply between married people.  But because fornication applies to impure activities on the whole, married people could also commit this sin.

ETA:

(The Worship of Baal Peor & Oral Sex)  http://thelatterdays.blogspot.com/2009/03/worship-of-baal-peor.html 

(The Marriage Bed)
http://thelatterdays.blogspot.com/2011/08/flee-fornication.html#more


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## LucieLoo12 (Feb 7, 2012)

I kept seeing this thread but I'm not married so I felt like I couldnt comment on the way I wanted to ..but YES YESS YES YES!!

I know your comment may go against the grain nicola.kirwan but you are right. Oral sex is unnatural and its considered as unclean . Read Leviticus and you will see how particular God was about the health and hygiene of the people. To put someone's gentials in your mouth, do we know how unclean that is.

Im so glad you brought out the un natural uses, thats so true, a woman's vagina and a man's penis was never intended for our mouths but for reproduction and sexual intercourse.

*Now sodomy means both anal and ORAL copulation (intercourse)*

I know this wont be popular, but its true. Thank you so much for this post!!

Ok im done...



nicola.kirwan said:


> "Sodomy," by definition, includes both anal and oral sex. There are still laws against sodomy in some US states. Prohibitions against sodomy in particular are in the KJV translation. Subsequent translations have changed the word away from sodomy to other things that address anal sex but not oral sex.
> 
> If the KJV translators were correct in the word they chose, then yes, both oral and anal sex are forbidden in Scripture. What I have not been able to find, however, is exactly why they chose that word and later translators did not.
> 
> ...


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## Laela (Feb 7, 2012)

I'm married and I agree...

The argument that because sex is reserved for marriage, then anything goes doesn't bode well with me. The marriage bed is to be undefiled...meaning clean. A couple can enjoy as much clean, fun sex and enjoy each others' bodies...Proverbs and Songs of Solomon have great Scriptures about the joy of sex between a man and his wife. But we also have to remember our bodies are the Temple of the Holy Spirit and that includes sex... it's 'posed to be pure and clean. The conviction should come.

OK I'll shut up...   






Alicialynn86 said:


> I kept seeing this thread but I'm not married so I felt like I couldnt comment on the way I wanted to ..but YES YESS YES YES!!
> 
> I know your comment may go against the grain nicola.kirwan but you are right. Oral sex is unnatural and its considered as unclean . Read Leviticus and you will see how particular God was about the health and hygiene of the people. To put someone's gentials in your mouth, do we know how unclean that is.
> 
> ...


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Feb 7, 2012)

Laela

Many believe that the marriage bed *un-defiles* certain sexual acts....even though husbands and wives are gratified I beleive that sex (between a married woman and man) is also a form of worship unto God, we are still temples even in the bedroom...




Laela said:


> I'm married and I agree...
> 
> The argument that because sex is reserved for marriage, then anything goes doesn't bode well with me. The marriage bed is to be undefiled...meaning clean. A couple can enjoy as much clean, fun sex and enjoy each others' bodies...Proverbs and Songs of Solomon have great Scriptures about the joy of sex between a man and his wife. But we also have to remember our bodies are the Temple of the Holy Spirit and that includes sex... it's 'posed to be pure and clean. The conviction should come.
> 
> OK I'll shut up...


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## SummerSolstice (Feb 7, 2012)

My parents have had an amazing marriage filled with trials, forgiveness, and friendship. They always tell me that when I get married it is my time to shine LOL.
With that said, to this day they send me texts telling me to get lost for the evening (i still live with them), I have seen my mom's lingerie collection by accident, and i have walked in the house, heard al green blasting, and walked out 
That is what I want for myself. I know I will not be allowing anyone "back there" though. Scary territory


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## Shimmie (Feb 7, 2012)

SummerSolstice said:


> My parents have had an amazing marriage filled with trials, forgiveness, and friendship. They always tell me that when I get married it is my time to shine LOL.
> With that said, to this day they send me texts telling me to get lost for the evening (i still live with them), I have seen my mom's lingerie collection by accident, and i have walked in the house, heard al green blasting, and walked out
> That is what I want for myself. I know I will not be allowing anyone "back there" though. Scary territory



 at 'Al Green'

Le' eh eh eh' et's  Let's stay toge' terrrrr'.    Teling you whether, time are good are bad, happy or sad, Come on and Le'eeee et's stay together.... 


OH !       Opps.      Sorry.  :blush3:  This is the Christian forum.


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## Nice & Wavy (Feb 7, 2012)

Shimmie said:


> at 'Al Green'
> 
> Le' eh eh eh' et's  Let's stay toge' terrrrr'.    Teling you whether, time are good are bad, happy or sad, Come on and Le'eeee et's stay together....
> 
> ...




You forgot "whooo hooo, whooo hoo, yeah"


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## Shimmie (Feb 9, 2012)

Nice & Wavy said:


> You forgot "whooo hooo, whooo hoo, yeah"





I forgot because it's been sooooo long since I heard that song....me being a Christian ...


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## BostonMaria (Feb 9, 2012)

Where am I? Is this the Christian forum?!!

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF


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## calliope (Feb 9, 2012)

You spend your single life abstaining from sex- it doesn't need to be "clean" once you're married.  This is what I was taught on sex in Christian marriage:

*EVERYTHING* is fine as long as:

*It's just the two of you- no one else (real or not) brought into it.

*You are on the same page on what you will or won't do.

*No one is being shamed, humiliated, or hurt.

Your marriage bed (or kitchen island, or dining table) is your intimate place to fully enjoy and make use of each other- it shouldn't be censored by anyone. You have the right to be a *completely* different person with your spouse that makes him shake his head and smile when he sees you acting like a proper lady in a crowd of people.  We were not meant to have to eat vanilla icecream all the time and that's it. Now if that's what the two of you prefer, than fine, but sometimes some colorful sprinkles are nice too

These things need to be discussed in premarital counseling at length to make sure you're on the same page so people don't start feeling unfulfilled and acting out later on.


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## pre_medicalrulz (Feb 9, 2012)

I agree ^^^^^

To the other ladies, Hmmmm how do you have clean, undefiled s3x, missionary? *in a christian marriage of course*


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## aribell (Feb 10, 2012)

Question for thought:

You go in to a Baskin Robbins ice cream shop with 32 flavors available.  You're told that you can't have Strawberry or Rocky Road.

Do you conclude that you can only order vanilla?


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Feb 10, 2012)

is this a trick question...lol

No matter how many choices I have I always want chocolate if there's no chocolate I spend too much time thinking much to the servers chagrin and end up picking a flavour I don't really like or want...



NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Shimmie (Feb 10, 2012)

nicola.kirwan said:


> Question for thought:
> 
> You go in to a Baskin Robbins ice cream shop with 32 flavors available.  You're told that you can't have Strawberry or Rocky Road.
> 
> Do you conclude that you can only order vanilla?



They still have a Baskin Robbins around?


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## Shimmie (Feb 10, 2012)

Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> is this a trick question...lol
> 
> No matter how many choices I have I always want chocolate if there's no chocolate I spend too much time thinking much to the servers chagrin and end up picking a flavour I don't really like or want...
> 
> ...



  at   'NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! '


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## Rainbow Dash (Feb 10, 2012)

nicola.kirwan said:


> Question for thought:
> 
> You go in to a Baskin Robbins ice cream shop with 32 flavors available. You're told that you can't have Strawberry or Rocky Road.
> 
> Do you conclude that you can only order vanilla?


 
Are you trying to trick us? I'm scared to answer.


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## DaiseeDay (Feb 10, 2012)

nicola.kirwan said:
			
		

> Question for thought:
> 
> You go in to a Baskin Robbins ice cream shop with 32 flavors available.  You're told that you can't have Strawberry or Rocky Road.
> 
> Do you conclude that you can only order vanilla?



I shouldn't be in this thread  buuut

Now let's say you go to Baskin Robbins craving some Rocky Road, they don't have it; but you're craving some ice cream, so you settle for another flavor. May not be vanilla, but nothing would've bought you as much pleasure as the Rocky Road, so you're satisfied, but not as much as you could be. And probably still wanting some rocky road.


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Feb 10, 2012)

^^^^same way I felt, lol


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## loolalooh (Feb 10, 2012)

Ladies, I've tried but I cannot see how oral sex within a marriage is wrong.  I read the Latter Day blog post, and *my biggest issue with the research is his definition of the word sodomy.*  It should be noted that the definition of the word sodomy has changed over time.  Additionally, it is clear in the Bible that God frowns upon "sex" between those of the same gender.  The word sodomy is based on this, but again, has been changed over time.  *Is it not possible that the original definition was "oral/anal sex amongst homosexuals" which was later changed in our society to cover acts between "heterosexuals" for the purposes of not discriminating against homosexuals?*

Additionally, the writer of the post says: "Holding true to the definition of the word sodomy, these temple prostitutes would perform homosexual acts on anyone, *regardless of gender*."  Can someone direct me to that particular scripture so that I am not relying merely on his interpretation of it?

________________________

Now for oral sex being okay in a marriage, I look to this 1 Corinthians 7:2-3:

*2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
 3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. *

I interpret it as sex for pleasure being okay in a marriage.  Oral sex is a form of sex for pleasure.  I also interpret it as meaning sex with a marriage is not immoral.  Oral sex can fall under this.

________________________

Anyway, I'm certainly open to being convicted and learning. * It just needs to come stronger than argument based on a definition of sodomy that may have been tailored so as not to target homosexuals.*


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Feb 10, 2012)

'needs' define needs because often times what a person feels he/she needs is a want or a desire I don't think one needs to have oral sex to be satisfied ...

I'm not against oral sex or least I wasn't against it while I was having it in my unsaved life but now I'm just curious based on the remarks on the board...

i*my*o Oral sex may have been brought about for mans quest for more simply because we are not easily satisfied we always want to push to envelope so to speak..oral, then role playing, then rape sex, then fetishes, then public places and threesomes etc., etc., so what will satisfy man (us) ...

If two virgins (the way God designed) got married I doubt that they would be into all the theatrics and back flips and kama sutra what ever else and they will be satisfied...

Example:
Back in the day I had a girlfriend she dated this guy (high school sweethearts) who was also a virgin they were each others firsts they a few years later they broke up she met someone else with considerably more sexual experience than she, she raved about is sexual prowse(sp)...however, she was content and happy with the high school sweetheart because that was all she new...


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## Choclatcotton (Feb 10, 2012)

Even if it wasnt forbidden by GOd,  I erplexedDont like it


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## Laela (Feb 11, 2012)

I don't believe anyone is disputing sex for pleasure in a marriage is OK. Play time, lingerie, etc. Though the wife must please her husband and vice-versa, we cannot overlook that both their bodies are Temples of the Holy Spirit and such, belong to God... 

*1 Corin 6:19:*
_Do you know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God, don't you? You do not belong to yourselves_


I interpret this to mean, what God has to say matters. If there is conviction, it will come from the Holy Spirit because God does not condone or participate in any perversion. Any perversion is a distortion of God's design and purpose. So, it's possible for a married couple to defile the marriage bed if they engage in perverted acts. To not believe that is to believe that marriage makes a Christian woman more saved than a single one.


My pastor once talked on marriage and mentioned oral sex and was straight up about it: "God made my mouth for two things..to speak and to eat food." Of course, if he didn't say "food" I'm sure some folks would've ran with that... lol 



loolalooh said:


> ________________________
> 
> Now for oral sex being okay in a marriage, I look to this 1 Corinthians 7:2-3:
> 
> ...


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## loolalooh (Feb 11, 2012)

Laela said:


> I don't believe anyone is disputing sex for pleasure in a marriage is OK. Play time, lingerie, etc. Though the wife must please her husband and vice-versa, we cannot overlook that both their bodies are Temples of the Holy Spirit and such, belong to God...
> 
> *1 Corin 6:19:*
> _Do you know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God, don't you? You do not belong to yourselves_
> ...



Thanks, Laela.  Maybe oral sex is something that I will be convicted against (assuming it truly is a sin) once I get married.  Right now, I'm just thinking hypothetically, as I am still single.

When I think about my future husband, I want to show my love to his entire body.  My mouth is made for "speaking and eating food", but I presume it okay to kiss his lips with my mouth.  Then to kiss his shoulder.  Then to kiss his chest and arms.  I'll stop here before I get too graphic, but hopefully, you get where I'm going.

I agree, it's possible for a married couple to defile the bed, but I feel like those methods of defiling were pointed out in Hebrews 13:4 (adultery and immorality).  I guess where I am not meeting others is whether oral sex counts as an "immorality".

I think, for now, I'll just wait until marriage and pray about it when the time comes.  I may be getting too ahead of myself right now.


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## Nice & Wavy (Feb 11, 2012)

In the beginning.....

#1 - God made man in His image and after His likeness.

#2 - God made man and woman to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth. 

#3 - And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bore Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. 


*In the beginning....powerful words.
* 
If we are made in God's image and after His likeness, we must ask ourselves these questions:

*"Would God approve of what I am doing in the marriage bed with my husband, knowing that its the same thing that homosexuals and lesbians do in an defiled bed?"

"Should I engage in the same acts knowing that God considers it an abomination?"* *

"Is my temple a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God...which is my reasonable service?"* 

I believe that the Holy Spirit gives us unctions in our spirit that lets us know what the Lord is pleased with and what He isn't pleased with.  I think we become so accustomed to what we think is right, rather than knowing what is right, that we don't hear when He is speaking truth to us.  So....we search the scriptures, which is what we are suppose to do.  But, when we can't find it in the scriptures, then we think to ourselves *"well, if its not in the Word then it must be ok."*



> Jesus said this:*"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name,  He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I  said to you."* John 14:26 NASB


Many things that the Holy Spirit reveals to us may not actually be written in the scriptures because, if all the things that Jesus taught/said was written...the books would be too many to number.  





> *And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were  written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not  contain the books that would be written.* John 21:25  NASB


Now, most of us were not virgins when we got with our husbands.  What we did in other relationships in the bedroom, we brought into our Godly marriages. * [No matter how you feel about Juanita Bynum, ya'll got to remember "No More Sheets."  God used that woman to share about the defiled bed like no other]* Just because we are married, doesn't mean we can do whatever we want in the bedroom.  Oral sex came from other people and places.  Think about it...do you think that in the beginning....when there was no sin... that there was oral sex going on between Adam and Eve?  Before the fall....there was no need for that.  What God gave to them was more than enough.  After the fall...sin came in and we are dealing with sin in our lives today.

We must not take the scripture out of context.  (Marriage bed undefiled)

The bible says that "Adam KNEW his wife...."  we don't need for anyone to tell us what that means....He knew his wife so that they could have children and build upon the foundation that the Lord has set for us as humans.  The Lord made it beautiful for Adam and Eve to make love...God, Our Father, is the ultimate love generator....no one can do it like He can!!!  We must remember that He is and always will be perfect and there is no sin in Him!  God doesn't make mistakes!!!! (note: I'm too old to have more children now...but, my husband KNOWS me:eyebrows2 :Blush2:   

We must be in position to hear from the Holy Spirit.  He has let me and my husband know that its wrong (oral sex)from the very beginning of our relationship and I'm grateful that we listened to Him because I can truly say that our marriage is 14 years strong and still going and our bed is definitely undefiled because we CHOOSE not to allow anything that may even have a hint of sin in it, be apart of our experience as husband and wife.

If it ain't tight...it ain't right 

I'm just sharing how my life is with God in a Godly marriage and what the Holy Spirit has spoken to my heart about this thing. We are not perfect and we still work on our marriage in many areas, but in this area...we are good to go !  

People will still have to hear from the Holy Spirit concerning this area of their lives.

I've talked long enough....thanks for reading

N&W


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## Nice & Wavy (Feb 11, 2012)

loolalooh said:


> Thanks, Laela.  Maybe oral sex is something that I will be convicted against (assuming it truly is a sin) once I get married.  Right now, I'm just thinking hypothetically, as I am still single.
> 
> When I think about my future husband, I want to show my love to his entire body.  My mouth is made for "speaking and eating food", but I presume it okay to kiss his lips with my mouth.  Then to kiss his shoulder.  Then to kiss his chest and arms.  I'll stop here before I get too graphic, but hopefully, you get where I'm going.
> 
> ...


I appreciate that you are open to hear from the Lord concerning these matters before you get married.  I'm grateful that I had 2 people who spoke to my husband and I before we did and really shared with us the success for a Godly marriage is in obedience....it truly is better than sacrifice!


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## Nice & Wavy (Feb 11, 2012)

I would also like to say that.....

It's interesting to see that there are over 13,000 views for this thread.

Some people are reeeaaaaaddddding!!!!


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## Shimmie (Feb 11, 2012)

Nice & Wavy said:


> I would also like to say that.....
> 
> It's interesting to see that there are over 13,000 views for this thread.
> 
> Some people are reeeaaaaaddddding!!!!



Ummmmm,  yeah


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## Shimmie (Feb 11, 2012)

Nice & Wavy said:


> In the beginning.....
> 
> #1 - God made man in His image and after His likeness.
> 
> ...



You have a beautiful Ministry and Marriage.


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## MonPetite (Feb 14, 2012)

.......................


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## Nice & Wavy (Feb 14, 2012)

Shimmie said:


> You have a beautiful Ministry and Marriage.


Thank you so much, sis


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## Nice & Wavy (Feb 14, 2012)

LittleGoldenLamb said:


> @Nice_&_Wavy
> 
> This 25 year old, single, virgin, still praying for a husband (and has been every night since she was 15 and told the Lord she desired to be a wife at 8) thanks you for your excellent post.
> 
> I will be saving it for future conversations with other young women if/when this topic comes up.


Amen, sis...amen!

The Lord will give you the desires of your heart....He will never fail you!

I appreciate you reading it and receiving from it.  Please do share it!!!

Love you!


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## delitefulmane (Feb 19, 2012)

Nice & Wavy said:


> If we are made in God's image and after His likeness, we must ask ourselves these questions:
> 
> *"Would God approve of what I am doing in the marriage bed with my husband, knowing that its the same thing that homosexuals and lesbians do in an defiled bed?"
> 
> ...



Nice & Wavy, I have never heard the topic of oral sex from this point of view. I have always thought that in marriage there was definitely an "anything goes attitude." 

*"Would God approve of what I am doing in the marriage bed with my husband, knowing that its the same thing that homosexuals and lesbians do in an defiled bed?"* <--------This is such a good question to ask in marriage. I am not married but this is a question that I have been pondering over. Thank you for this post and this message.


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## Nice & Wavy (Feb 19, 2012)

delitefulmane said:


> @Nice & Wavy, I have never heard the topic of oral sex from this point of view. I have always thought that in marriage there was definitely an "anything goes attitude."
> 
> *"Would God approve of what I am doing in the marriage bed with my husband, knowing that its the same thing that homosexuals and lesbians do in an defiled bed?"* <--------This is such a good question to ask in marriage. I am not married but this is a question that I have been pondering over. Thank you for this post and this message.


You are more than welcome


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## Ivonnovi (Jan 19, 2015)

EXCELLENT read and advice!!!!    , though I've only read the first page...


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## Shimmie (Jan 20, 2015)

Nice & Wavy said:


> I would also like to say that.....
> 
> It's interesting to see that there are over 13,000 views for this thread.
> 
> Some people are reeeaaaaaddddding!!!!


 
Nice & Wavy.... 

It's been resurrected approximately three (3) years since and the views have increased by 9505 views.


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