# Pastor Teddy Parker commits suicide



## blazingthru (Nov 14, 2013)

*Pastor Teddy Parker commits suicide as congregation waits for him after confessing sometimes he "can't feel God"*

Published 13 November 2013  |  Sarah Weng

*Pastor Teddy Parker* of Bibb Mount Zion Baptist Church in Macon, Georgia, committed suicide while his congregation waited for him to arrive on Sunday.

The 42-year-old Georgia pastor tragically killed himself with a "self-inflicted gunshot wound" on Nov. 10.

The father-of-two's body was discovered by his wife Larrinecia Parker in the driveway of their home after he did not show up for service at his church.

Russell Rowland told The Christian Post that Parker had sent his wife and children to church ahead of him on Sunday morning. His family and congregation were waiting for him to show up and preach the message.

"When he didn't show up they went looking for him. I'm very surprised because he didn't preach that. He preached totally against it. It's something that the congregation don't really understand."

His death comes as a shock to the church and family, as no one saw it coming.

The pastor had also reportedly once confessed that sometimes "I don't feel like God is hearing me". In a sermon titled "Facing Your Storm With Confidence", Parker said, "You know a lot of times, we feel like when we are going through stuff and it's a lot that there's nobody there with us. And guess what? God intends for you to feel that way. I know y'all been saved a long time. I know you super spiritual and you know you real holy but there are times in your life, not y'all but me. There are times in my life when I'm going through some stuff where I can't feel God there."

He continued: "I try to pray but I don't feel like God is hearing me. I try to serve but I don't feel like God is using me. And there are times in your life when God purposely withdraws from you, he doesn't withdraw for the sake of leaving you but he withdraws so you can grow and mature."

The website of Bibb Mountain Zion church states: "Pastor Parker, a man of profound spiritual vision, gifted with intellectual qualities, was called to serve as Pastor of Bibb Mount Zion Baptist Church in July 1997. Under his God-given leadership Bibb Mount Zion along with the Middle Georgia community has benefited from his accomplishments such as Camp Zion and the construction of She Family Life Center. Under his leadership 20 new ministries were implemented, major renovation to the sanctuary as well as growth to the membership."

Pastors from around the world posted condolences upon hearing the news of Teddy Parker's apparent suicide.

Rev. Earl Houston, pastor of the First Baptist Church of Frankfot, Py., stated: "Pastor Teddy Parker, Jr., senior pastor of the Bibb Mount Zion Baptist Church of Macon, Georgia, went home to be with the Lord on Sunday, November 10, 2013."

Twitter user Moms Babely tweeted: "Oh wow. It's deep when he takes his own life. Ministry is a heavy yoke. Many don't fully realize how heavy until it's too late."

After graduating from high school, Parker had attended the Theology International Seminary in Plymouth, Florida. He was ordained aged 22 at Fellowship Bible Baptist Church.

Officials of his church have asked for privacy as Parker's family and congregation deal with his death.

Church official Lakesia Toomer told 13WMAZ: "We consider this a private matter between the family and the BMZ church family. We kindly ask that the public respects our privacy at this time."

Parker is survived by his wife and two daughters Kamry Tednae and Kerrington Tyier Parker.


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Nov 14, 2013)

I read this yesterday and this is so confusing, I pray for his family and congregants.


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## CoilyFields (Nov 14, 2013)

This is so sad!

I pray for his family's healing through this process.

i wonder if he had a Pastor or prayer partner? Pastors need to be pastored as well. They need someone older of wisdom to counsel them, to speak into their lives, to pray with/for them just like everyone else. Someone to share their struggles with that wont look at them upside their heads in wonder.


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## yodie (Nov 14, 2013)

So sad. What a trick of the enemy. 

God said he never leaves us or forsakes us. He gave us a comforter, the Holy Spirit.
I don't in any way demean what this pastor went through. I know what it's like to feel alone, hurt, and in a wilderness season of life. I just pray for peace for everyone involved.


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Nov 14, 2013)

CoilyFields said:


> This is so sad!
> 
> I pray for his family's healing through this process.
> 
> i wonder if he had a Pastor or prayer partner? *Pastors need to be pastored as well. They need someone older of wisdom to counsel them, to speak into their lives, to pray with/for them just like everyone else. Someone to share their struggles with that wont look at them upside their heads in* wonder.


 

In some cases, I think a certain amount of pride keeps us from reaching out for help.  We would rather have people think that we have it together rather than let someone know that we need help, but that is what we are here for to pray for and bear one another's burdens.


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## Sosa (Nov 14, 2013)

This is horrible. What would make a Pastor take his own life? My heart goes out to his wife and daughters.


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## felic1 (Nov 14, 2013)

Pastors need to be able to submit themselves to someone when they have trouble. They are saints also. If we take hits from the enemy what type of attacks do they face. Struggling with suicide is no joke.


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## Laela (Nov 14, 2013)

We've got to keep spiritual leaders lifted up at all times...I'm saddened to hear this and my heart goes out to his family and the congregation. God knows all....


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Nov 15, 2013)

Here's an update:

http://www.christianpost.com/news/p...ng-medication-had-physical-challenges-108683/

Pastor Who Killed Self Battled Manic Depression, Struggled to Keep It Secret; Was Taking Medication, Had 'Physical Challenges'


His family knew and were trying to help, but everyone else was in the dark about Pastor Teddy Parker's mental health struggles until he shot himself in his truck in the driveway of his home in Warner Robins, Ga., on Sunday.

"Everybody is just kind of stunned right now. I think a lot of people are just trying to understand why that happened. We're just praying to the Lord for guidance on this," Russell Rowland, one of Parker's disciples at Bibb Mount Zion Baptist Church in Macon, Ga., told The Christian Post Tuesday morning.

By Tuesday evening, however, the painful truth behind Parker's death began slowly coming to light.

"He was suffering with manic depression and he had some emotional issues that he had been dealing with. [He was] in treatment, but he just couldn't step away from ministry," Parker's longtime friend, Dr. E. Dewey Smith Jr., senior pastor at The House of Hope Atlanta (Greater Travelers Rest) in Decatur, Ga., told CP.

"He needed to take a break from Ministry and the way our culture is, the culture forbids that. How much do you share? How much grace do people allow?" he explained.

The death of his friend has come as a shock to Smith. He had known Parker for more than 20 years, since he was a teenage youth minister at Fellowship Bible Baptist Church run by Smith's godfather, the-late Willie L. Reid in Warner Robins, Ga.

"I never would have fathomed he would have gone to this extreme without having a conversation. I just didn't know," he said.

As far as Smith knew, he and Parker had "a very good relationship".

The last time they spoke was on the phone in August, while Smith was attending a conference in Dallas, Texas.

"He reached out to me. Let me know he was praying for me, encouraging me," said Smith.

To him, Parker showed no signs of any problems that could account for his suicide, and now he is getting ready to deliver the eulogy at his friend's funeral on Saturday.

According to local news reports, Parker was under a lot of stress. *His family knew about his struggles and he did not open up his circle of trust beyond but a few people.*

That circle, too, had come under pressure. His parents, retired pastors who were critical pillars in that circle, reportedly died last April and his trusted pastor Willie L. Reid had also died recently, upending his tightly guarded support system.

"Men in general don't deal with issues of health. We don't share very much so we are very guarded, very insular," said Smith.

"It's hard to be honest. It's difficult for some preachers to be honest. Every pastor needs a pastor to kind of lead and guide them. But it's hard for us to really find that relationship because often pastors are trying to compete with or cremate you. And so it's difficult to find camaraderie," he added.

Even so, Parker did seek help outside his circle. He turned to modern science.


Pastor Who Killed Self Battled Manic Depression, Struggled to Keep It Secret; Was Taking Medication, Had 'Physical Challenges'

"He was taking medication," said Smith. But that medication also resulted in "physical challenges." Parker's wife, Larrinecia, and the remainder of his family tried supporting him as best as they could but it was all too much for him.

"His brother told me that he just felt like everybody was putting on him and depending on him and basically he was giving out when he had nothing left," said Smith.

"He was seeking help, but I think he just needed to step away. It's hard for pastors, particularly in the African-American church, to step away because the church is so personality driven some people are not prepared for the pastor to step away," he explained.

Attendance would drop if Parker didn't show up and so it was no surprise that his members went searching for him on Sunday when he didn't show up as expected. There was a lot at stake, said Smith, and Parker had all of this weighing on his mind.

"How do you tell your church that you have mental and emotional disorders and they trust your leadership? It's almost like a death sentence to share that. How are they going to perceive you afterwards? You have visions, will they trust you? Will they believe it's the spirit that's leading you?" asked Smith.

And perhaps, even in his own way, Parker even tried other methods of self-help like "preaching through" his struggles in this cryptic portion of a 2010 sermon on YouTube titled, "Facing Your Storm With Confidence."

"You know a lot of times, we feel like when we are going through stuff and it's a lot that there's nobody there with us. And guess what? God intends for you to feel that way. I know y'all been saved a long time. I know you super spiritual and you know you real holy but there are times in your life, not y'all but me. There are times in my life when I'm going through some stuff where I can't feel God there," he confessed.

"I try to pray but I don't feel like God is hearing me. I try to serve but I don't feel like God is using me. And there are times in your life when God purposely withdraws from you, he doesn't withdraw for the sake of leaving you but he withdraws so you can grow and mature," he added, in a show of encouragement.

Culturally, says Smith, pastors are encouraged in some quarters to preach through their issues. But that doesn't always work.

"The reality is that preaching does not get you through every storm. Everything is not spiritual," he said.

And perhaps out of desperation at not being able to preach through his storm like he though he could, the "very caring upbeat guy that cared for people especially with the kids," sent his wife and kids to church on Sunday morning then sat down in his black $20,000 Cadillac Escalade in his driveway and shot himself.

"On 11/10/13 I was dispatched to 131 Esterine Dr, Warner Robins, Ga reference to a suicide. Once on scene I confirmed that a suicide had been committed and contacted the proper authorities. Nothing further," read the incident report from the Houston County Sheriff's Office.


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## pearlygurl (Nov 15, 2013)

I knew Pastor Teddy...he was so nice and just an all around great guy. Depression is real and it was something he was seeking help for. Hopefully this will open up a dialog among Christians about mental health.  Pray for his wife, daughters and church family.


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## PinkPebbles (Nov 15, 2013)

I'm saddened by this story. My heart and prayers goes out to the family and the congregation.

This incident is a wakeup call. A pastor should not feel obligated to take on everything. I'm glad that my church has more than one pastor. It's not a "one man's show" in the kingdom of God.

If a pastor needs to retire or take a break then he should be encouraged to do it. Pastors should not be worried about whether or not the attendance will go down. It's not man's mininstry but Jesus' ministry; and when God is lifted up, He will draw all man unto Him. 

Lord have mercy....


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## JaneBond007 (Nov 15, 2013)

ETA:  Read the updates.  I don't know anything about him other than this tragedy from reading the OP, but how sad.   Feeling sad for his family.


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## felic1 (Nov 15, 2013)

I struggled with depression for years adapting to raising a son with autism. I was tempted to commit suicide and had a plan. I did not want to die or kill my kid either. I believe the people in my church thought I was weird or some rank sinner because I was on the altar for prayer each week for maybe 10 years. Part of the trick is that suicide is a secret. You are not supposed to tell anyone. When you can't tell someone it has you. When you can tell someone, you have it. Supposedly saints are people who have everything together and have no problems. That is not true. I believe that we consider mental health issues a sin. Perhaps an abomination. It has peaks and valleys just like hypertension and diabetes. We all need each other. His poor family. Let's go out of our way to be kind to others. Thanks for reading!


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## JaneBond007 (Nov 15, 2013)

^^^Or that maybe a person doesn't have enough faith because they have that cross to bear.  G-d makes miracles.  He also gives crosses, lots of them.  If He had some, what do we expect?  I've long time been a proponent of  psychological help for faithful in need.  @felic1 thanks for your testimony.  I hope that someone lurking will have the courage to openly seek the very help just waiting for you.  Do not be embarassed.  Seek life and all the paths towards it.


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## MrsHaseeb (Nov 15, 2013)

PinkPebbles said:


> I'm saddened by this story. My heart and prayers goes out to the family and the congregation.
> 
> This incident is a wakeup call. A pastor should not feel obligated to take on everything. I'm glad that my church has more than one pastor. It's not a "one man's show" in the kingdom of God.
> 
> ...



You said a whole lot here. The one man pastor system is indeed putting a lot of pressure and responsibility on one man that should not be. This situation shouldn't only open the door to discuss mental issues (which a person can be delivered from) but also the dangers of the one man pastor structure. I pray that his family and the congregation will seek the Lord and find peace.


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## PinkPebbles (Nov 15, 2013)

felic1 said:


> I struggled with depression for years adapting to raising a son with autism. I was tempted to commit suicide and had a plan. I did not want to die or kill my kid either. I believe the people in my church thought I was weird or some rank sinner because I was on the altar for prayer each week for maybe 10 years. Part of the trick is that suicide is a secret. You are not supposed to tell anyone. When you can't tell someone it has you. When you can tell someone, you have it. *Supposedly saints are people who have everything together and have no problems.* That is not true.* I believe that we consider mental health issues a sin.* Perhaps an abomination. It has peaks and valleys just like hypertension and diabetes. We all need each other. His poor family. Let's go out of our way to be kind to others. Thanks for reading!


 
felic1 it's a blessing that you were able to overcome. Thank you for sharing.

I highlighted the bolded because this is what the enemy tells people to keep them defeated so that person won't go to their sister or brother in Christ for help or support.

In the updated article, Pastor Parker's close friend mentioned that he did not know Parker was suffering from manic depression. That is disheartening and I can only imagine how the friend must be feeling right now.


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## JaneBond007 (Nov 15, 2013)

Um, while thinking on manic depression, anybody heard from Goddessmaker lately?  I've often wondered how she's doing.


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## Galadriel (Nov 15, 2013)

So sad. Praying for his family and all those affected by depression in all its forms.


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## felic1 (Nov 16, 2013)

When I first started having this problem my son was about six. I cried a year straight and could not seem to stop. When I came to myself, I realized that I really needed help because these crying spells were accompanied by this sort of compulsion to go in the garage, turn the car on (with my kid with me) and shut the garage door. I did not realize that my Honda Accord did not produce enough emissions to kill us. I would have awakened in the morning and been out of gas. The thing was accompanied by this irrational fear that if I told someone I believed that I was a threat to my son, they would've taken him away from me. There is this shame about what you are feeling. Like you are supposed t be really evil because you are thinking this. Yes, I am a whole RN, I know all the symptoms. I hoard medicine too( No I am not planning to take it). When I realized how bad off I was, I called and made an appointment with a psychiatrist. When I got there I had an overnight bag because I believed that he would put me on a locked unit because I had a suicide plan. The doctor did not put me on a locked unit. He wrote a prescription for a medication named Paxil. My fountain of tears dried up in a week. I was able to participate in the things of life. It was still a struggle to fight with the thoughts. They were very strong. After 10 years I was able to talk about it. When it started my son was six and he is now 23 and 24 in January. It in not a sin or a shameful thing to admit that something has you troubled and you are having difficulty with it. Sometimes our circumstances get the better of us. Look in local hospital directories online. Find the names of the department heads. Select one near your home. Go and see the person, take the medicine. Just because you need something it does not mean that you should feel like a drug addict. At one point in this process I began to drink Zinfandel. What a trick of the enemy! It is not peach Kool-Aid! I would take my mental health meds in the morning and drink in the evening so to avoid combining these medications and having a deadly reaction. I am not saying this for attention seeking purposes. I would like to say that the medicine helped me. I have not had 10 nights worth of sleep since my son was in Kindergarten. I need to take something for my eyes to close and stay that way. I take Benadryl 100mg (gasp) So much?? I am resistant to low doses and it will not have the side effects like ambien or Xanax or Ativan. Take that one step. If you have a friend with trouble, offer to go with them to the doctor. Assure them that filling the prescription and take it as directed. Life will improve. I love and bless you dear sisters of LHCF!!!


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## felic1 (Nov 16, 2013)

How is everyone today?


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## JaneBond007 (Nov 16, 2013)

I'm awfully worried...she has erased most of her posts for some reason.


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## MrsHaseeb (Nov 16, 2013)

felic1 said:


> How is everyone today?



Great thanks for asking


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## MrsHaseeb (Nov 16, 2013)

JaneBond007 said:


> I'm awfully worried...she has erased most of her posts for some reason.



JB who is this post referring to?


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## JaneBond007 (Nov 16, 2013)

Referring to post #17.  Anybody know?


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Nov 16, 2013)

JaneBond007 said:


> I'm awfully worried...she has erased most of her posts for some reason.



I pray she is okay.


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## JaneBond007 (Nov 16, 2013)

I think it's time we pray for this entire list  because the subject of suicide is rampant all across this board and people are not seeking medical attention.  Maybe it's the time of year?  I dunno, but I'm alarmed.


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## MrsHaseeb (Nov 16, 2013)

JaneBond007 said:


> Referring to post #17.  Anybody know?



Her name was changed to lifeafterlhcf and her last post was in June basically saying she was felt she was stable enough to get off her meds and it seemed as though she was also saying she was leaving the board. She has been on my mind before as well and I have prayed for her.


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## frobellete (Nov 17, 2013)

MrsHaseeb said:


> Her name was changed to lifeafterlhcf and her last post was in June basically saying she was felt she was stable enough to get off her meds and it seemed as though she was also saying she was leaving the board. She has been on my mind before as well and I have prayed for her.



I tried to PM her a couple of days ago....I think she left the board cos my message wouldn't go through.


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