# Strange Feeling At Night



## janiebaby (Apr 11, 2018)

I have been waking up in the middle of the night lately feeling like there is a "presence" in my room. I've quoted scripture to give me comfort and usually after some time I've been able to go back to sleep.

I'm not quite sure how many times this has happened over the past few months (maybe 3?) but I've also had a dream last week that is not so common.

All I remember in the dream was darkness like night but blacker and an old looking train surrounded by fog coming straight for me. I don't remember feeling afraid but I do remember feeling like this was it and there was nothing I could do then there was just more blackness and I knew that it was finished. Now, I might have been able to brush it off but my mother texted me when I woke up asking me if I was ok. I told her I was ok and asked why she asked and she told me she had a weird dream but she wouldn't/hasn't told me what it was. That same day my friend called me and told me she had been thinking about me and maybe a week before my dream my aunt had called and told me she had thought of me a few weeks before.

Last night I felt the presence again and felt the need to share my experience here.


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## Shimmie (Apr 11, 2018)

Dearest @janiebaby ...

God has you covered.   Just lie down, pull up the covers, snuggle in His loving arms and just sleep.  

_I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.
Psalm 4:8_​_
Sweet Sleep, Janie Baby... Sweet Sleep.   In Jesus' Name, Amen and Amen.   Sweet, Sweet Sleep.   Your safety the Lord shall surely keep...Sweet Sleep.   

_
​


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## janiebaby (Apr 11, 2018)

Thank you @Shimmie


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## Shimmie (Apr 12, 2018)

janiebaby said:


> Thank you @Shimmie


  Sweet Sleep Little One.  God has you covered.   Tonight and always.


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## Sharpened (Apr 12, 2018)

You are at a crossroads. You have choices to make in your walk with the Father. Seek His will and corrction.


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## Laela (Apr 12, 2018)

OP, please read Psalm 91 each night.. God is faithful !


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## janiebaby (Apr 12, 2018)

Sharpened said:


> You are at a crossroads. You have choices to make in your walk with the Father. Seek His will and corrction.



Thank you I did start to think, while I was reading and praying, that God is getting me closer to him and that I have to feel more comfortable with spending time in conversation with God instead of being so "formal" about it.


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## janiebaby (Apr 12, 2018)

Laela said:


> OP, please read Psalm 91 each night.. God is faithful !



Thank you for this! Psalm 91 was one of the scriptures I came across last night that gave me comfort.


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## sheanu (Apr 12, 2018)

Hi OP! I went through something similar while I was at a very stressful job a few years ago. I felt as if something was haunting and following me the whole time I was there and I had consistent nightmares and anxiety and was constantly feeling stressed and discomforted. My mom advised me to sleep with my Bible open to psalm 23 every night. It definitely helped a bit but that feeling, the nightmares and haunted feeling didn't  go away till I left that job. I'm so much happier now and definitely feel that I'm in the job that the Lord wants me in for this season in my life. As another poster said, walk with the Lord during this time, continue to develop your relationship, and carefully consider any promptings He places on your heart.


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## ColibriNoir (Apr 12, 2018)

Love Psalm 91. Another great passage is Psalm 121. Hope you find comfort and peace @janiebaby


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## blessedandfavoured (Apr 13, 2018)

@janiebaby, I'm adding Psalm 27 to the list.  Also, pray every night (if you're not already doing so) and cover your home with the blood of Jesus.  Read Exodus 12:1-30, and when you pray, visualize yourself applying the Blood of Christ to your doors and windows, like the Israelites did.  May God keep you safe, in Jesus's name.


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## gn1g (Apr 13, 2018)

PSALMS 91 IS FOR YOU!! read daily.  it is a covenant

Also leave music on in your house, especially while you're asleep about the blood of Jesus.  I particularly like CeCe Winans By The blood.  I like the WHOLE cd  Throne Room


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## gn1g (Apr 13, 2018)

Research "Spiritual warfare"


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## futureapl (Apr 13, 2018)

Laela said:


> OP, please read Psalm 91 each night.. God is faithful !



I second this. I experienced something similar a few years ago and my sis recommended that I read Psalm 91. After reading it every night, I never experienced the presence again.


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## Queenie (Apr 14, 2018)

blessedandfavoured said:


> @janiebaby, I'm adding Psalm 27 to the list.  Also, pray every night (if you're not already doing so) and cover your home with the blood of Jesus.  Read Exodus 12:1-30, and when you pray, visualize yourself applying the Blood of Christ to your doors and windows, like the Israelites did.  May God keep you safe, in Jesus's name.


In addition bless every door and window with oil. 
When I did that, the presence never came back to the home.


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## Laela (Apr 17, 2018)

@janiebaby, how are you doing?
Have a blessed day!


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## janiebaby (Apr 21, 2018)

@Laela thank you you too! I really don't know what or how much to write so I've settled on being open. I've been feeling anxious lately like I'm in a rush to get my affairs in order. I feel like I'm being pushed into not being complacent like I have been and my prayers will be answered but only if I keep moving. We read bible stories and don't realize that one person's story took place over years and years. There's a lesson in everything and we're writing our own story as we go.


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## ilong (May 2, 2018)

Laela said:


> OP, please read *Psalm 91* each night.. God is faithful !


YESSSSS   to this and  adding the 23rd Psalm !!!!    Not only read it but leave your bible open on your nightstand, table, dresser, opened to this chapter!!!


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## ilong (May 2, 2018)

blessedandfavoured said:


> @janiebaby, I'm adding Psalm 27 to the list.  *Also, pray every night (if you're not already doing so) and cover your home with the blood of Jesus.  Read Exodus 12:1-30, and when you pray, visualize yourself applying the Blood of Christ to your doors and windows, like the Israelites did.*  May God keep you safe, in Jesus's name.


YESS!!!  YESSSS!   YESSS!!!!!    And may God add a blessing to the reading of His Word - a blessing of peace and comfort!


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## janiebaby (Sep 22, 2018)

I am experiencing spiritual warfare at work and started to think about the feeling I once had before this happened and how maybe it was a premonition of things to come. I don't ever think I've been up against anything like this before to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if there was some occult stuff going on. Please please please everyone please keep me in your prayers. @sheanu @Sharpened @gn1g when I look back at your posts things start to make sense. The presence at night went away but now it's there in the daytime within my boss and my coworkers. They are doing some things that aren't kosher. I've been trying to stay apart from it and they have been doing crazy things that you wouldn't believe if I told you. I've been so scared to go into work once that a message came to me that "I better act like I got God" and I went to work and was still defeated. The other message that I got was to "let God save me". This job doesn't pay much and I feel like I could quit and just wipe away all traces from my resume but I don't know if these messages are God or me.


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## Shimmie (Sep 23, 2018)

janiebaby said:


> I am experiencing spiritual warfare at work and started to think about the feeling I once had before this happened and how maybe it was a premonition of things to come. I don't ever think I've been up against anything like this before to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if there was some occult stuff going on. Please please please everyone please keep me in your prayers. @sheanu @Sharpened @gn1g when I look back at your posts things start to make sense. The presence at night went away but now it's there in the daytime within my boss and my coworkers. They are doing some things that aren't kosher. I've been trying to stay apart from it and they have been doing crazy things that you wouldn't believe if I told you. I've been so scared to go into work once that a message came to me that "I better act like I got God" and I went to work and was still defeated. The other message that I got was to "let God save me". This job doesn't pay much and I feel like I could quit and just wipe away all traces from my resume but I don't know if these messages are God or me.


Each of us are around all kinds of spirits each day.  Jesus, Himself was surrounded and encountered them throughout His Ministry here on earth.   The Bible is clear, that in spite of this, they cannot hurt you, dear one.   Nothing and no one is above God.     Hear what Jesus has to say to us about this in Luke 10.19:

*“Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, 
and over all the power of the enemy: 
and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” *​
_For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; 
but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2nd Timothy 1:7_

_Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. 
*Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, *
for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9_

*When you go back to work: 
*
_Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, 
*He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you*
Deuteronomy 31:6_

*BELIEVE NOT EVERY SPIRIT; 
Try the spirits and see if they be of God.  
FEAR NOT*​


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## janiebaby (Sep 23, 2018)

Thank you Shimmie!!


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## Sharpened (Sep 24, 2018)

I went through something similar a few years ago. You will get through this. The saying "new level, new devil" is true. You can rebuke and cast out demons under your breath if you need to. People forget we are at war...


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## Shimmie (Sep 24, 2018)

janiebaby said:


> Thank you Shimmie!!


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## Ms. Tarabotti (Oct 3, 2018)

janiebaby said:


> I am experiencing spiritual warfare at work and started to think about the feeling I once had before this happened and how maybe it was a premonition of things to come. I don't ever think I've been up against anything like this before to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if there was some occult stuff going on. Please please please everyone please keep me in your prayers. @sheanu @Sharpened @gn1g when I look back at your posts things start to make sense. The presence at night went away but now it's there in the daytime within my boss and my coworkers. They are doing some things that aren't kosher. I've been trying to stay apart from it and they have been doing crazy things that you wouldn't believe if I told you. I've been so scared to go into work once that a message came to me that "I better act like I got God" and I went to work and was still defeated. The other message that I got was to "let God save me". This job doesn't pay much and I feel like I could quit and just wipe away all traces from my resume but I don't know if these messages are God or me.




*John 10:28-30 King James Version (KJV)*
28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.

30 I and my Father are one.


In Christ Alone
Keith and Kristyn Getty
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
'Til on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the pow'r of Christ in me
*From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand*
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

Songwriters: Keith Getty / Stuart Townend
In Christ Alone lyrics © Capitol Christian Music Group

Spiritual warfare and evil are real.  Satan is always at work,  looking to break Christians away from God. But God will have the last victory. These storms that you are facing are very real and you may feel that you are walking through dark woods, pushing through deep waters. Hold on to God. His Word reminds us that if we are His, no power can separate us from His love and protection. You may get dinged a little but God will protect you through this and all other storms.


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## janiebaby (Oct 3, 2018)

@Ms. Tarabotti thank you so much for your post!


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## janiebaby (Oct 11, 2018)

It's been really difficult to communicate what's been happening at work. My boss is out of her mind. We report to a government agency and my boss will do anything from forging documents to getting clients (who we are supposed to help) to lie to employees to play employees against each other. 

My boss has removed documents from files, signed into my computer under my login and has deleted emails I've sent to her and at this point I'm wondering if anything has been sent under my log in. My boss has also gotten people to report to her my whereabouts at all times so that these things can occur when I'm not at my desk (i.e. lunch or meeting with a client). I noticed a few months ago that when certain clients discuss leaving the program all of a sudden they have a debt that they need to pay. I also noticed that the clients who have been lying already have huge debts that they don't even try to pay off. My boss is not concerned about doing things the right way which imo is the easier way at all. What I've noticed is that having things in a constant clean up state is putting her in a position of power where people are feeling indebted to her. 

Could be separate or not: Tuesday night a black car pulled up to my home. It was parked in front of my mailbox which I thought was odd and stayed a lil longer than I was comfortable. I put on my clothes and turned on my porch light. I started walking toward the car but it started to pull off but it stopped at my driveway so I kept walking toward it and it sped off. Now I put this here because it could be nothing or it could be something. 

These are just a few of many things that have occurred over the past few months.


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## janiebaby (Oct 11, 2018)

Another dream I had the other night was that I was at the doctor's office and the doctor told me that I was pregnant. Now I know I wasn't there for that and even in the dream I felt like I was semi-conscious. For instance I was on my period irl and I was thinking how can i be pregnant and be getting my period. I wasn't happy sad or anything because i knew that couldn't be right. I told the doctor that can't be right and she said it again "you are pregnant" so I asked for proof and she showed me an ultrasound. So I believed her then and I still didn't feel any emotion just the thought that things would change.


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## Sharpened (Oct 11, 2018)

I'd be seeking the Lord on either a new job or how to handle this one. What lessons have you learned that help you along your walk with Him?

The color black has negative and positive connotations, willful ignorance and hidden things being brought to light, respectively. A car, like the train, means motion, moving either forward or backwards. It sounds like you are learning the various way Our Father expresses Himself to us. We tend to forget all of creation from from Him, so He can define how He wants to interact with us.


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## janiebaby (Oct 11, 2018)

Sharpened said:


> I'd be seeking the Lord on either a new job or how to handle this one. What lessons have you learned that help you along your walk with Him?
> 
> The color black has negative and positive connotations, willful ignorance and hidden things being brought to light, respectively. A car, like the train, means motion, moving either forward or backwards. It sounds like you are learning the various way Our Father expresses Himself to us. We tend to forget all of creation from from Him, so He can define how He wants to interact with us.



Thank you. I've fasted the past week or so while at work though not today. I've been reading scripture and listening to scripture while at work, home, and listening even while I sleep. Today I got a message on my computer that said another user connected to the remote computer and my connection was lost. All while a client that my boss is close with comes by unexpectedly and I'm called away from my desk.


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## janiebaby (Oct 11, 2018)

I just wanted to take a moment and just say how blessed I am that God is merciful. Thank you everyone for your prayers and well wishes it truly has meant alot to me. I hope I can do half as much for someone as what's been done for me. I am so grateful.


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## janiebaby (Oct 12, 2018)

Sharpened said:


> I'd be seeking the Lord on either a new job or how to handle this one. What lessons have you learned that help you along your walk with Him?
> 
> The color black has negative and positive connotations, willful ignorance and hidden things being brought to light, respectively. A car, like the train, means motion, moving either forward or backwards. It sounds like you are learning the various way Our Father expresses Himself to us. We tend to forget all of creation from from Him, so He can define how He wants to interact with us.



Romans 15:13
*13* May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I'm going to think about what I've learned throughout this time. I normally can't concentrate on work evenings because I'm too wound up but I'll come back to this. What I can tell you is the other day something just came over me. I don't know if it was peace or what but I haven't been struggling as much internally. Mentally I'm exhausted and feel defeated more often than not but I'm putting my trust in God. At the time I created the thread this job was new and wasn't an issue so it's interesting to see things unfolding. I posted the scripture above to capture how I'm feeling internally despite everything happening around me. Side note: I always hesitate to write things like this because I feel like it only takes one thing to completely throw everything off but I'm praying that I'm going to have a testimony come out of this.

ETA: been forgetting to edit this for clarification...but I just found it strange that I started to have the feeling and dreams before I noticed everything happening around me. Now that I'm deep into the things that are going on I feel like it would make more sense for me to be having the weird dreams and feelings now. Not that I want or need them that's for sure.


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## janiebaby (Oct 13, 2018)

I put this in another thread and kinda felt it should be here. 

I really want to shift my focus from work back to myself. It's like I forgot that you give power to whatever/whoever you're focusing on and I want to shift that focus, attention, and energy onto myself and finding a way out of my situation. A few people at bible study asked me about my job on Wed. I just shrugged and said it was the same but I decided to submit a prayer request when the time came. Now I wanted to pray for a couple things not just one thing (work) and I just asked for prayer about work and stopped short because I started to feel tears coming so I just stopped there. The next day I just was like look I'm tired of talking about this job and these people. I need help yes but I don't want to get to a point where I'm just complaining all the time but I'm in the same situation. It's exasperating for me and I just don't want to become "that person" in other people's eyes either. I don't want to take my eyes off what I truly need to tend to outside of my job.


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## janiebaby (Oct 14, 2018)

Long story: Ok some background....I've been serving in my church for over a year unpaid like everyone else...A few times I've had the person I work under ask me if I would be interested in a position at the church (like 2-3 times since last year) if one should open up and I've always been really hesitant about it so I'll say uh maybe it depends....The assistant to the pastor (not the person I've been working under) has been saying he's been wanting to talk to me since like forever....no really, I feel like he asked me either last year or the beginning of this year (before I started working at my current job) about what I was looking for in a job and I said some things I can't remember but I do recall talking about salary.

Then like a couple months ago he said he needed to talk to me but he never did. Then a few weeks ago he said he needed to talk to me and again he never did. So today he comes up to me and says it again and I'm like ok you said that a few weeks ago and he said I know we'll talk today. So in my mind this whole time I've been thinking he needs my help with a big event that we hold every year. Preparation is like a year round thing which is why I keep thinking that it's about that particular event. However, now I'm busy and the event is around the corner and I'm like uh if he asks me to do something how am I going to fit it in with everything I'm currently doing but.... I'm probably going to say yes because it may be an opportunity to serve in a different area.

So we meet in his office and he says that he doesn't know if I know that he'll be transitioning out of his role at the end of the year. Nope I had not a clue so I'm thinking ok he better not be relocating or nothing because I'm thinking he can't possibly be about to talk to me about his position....I've always thought maybe the person I work under's position or a whole nother position altogether but never in a million years his position.

He said that he's been watching me over the past year and he thinks that I would be a good candidate for the position and he's considering me and one other person. Now, the first thing I'm thinking is uh the leadership team does not play any of the games so I didn't know that they were even considering me. I don't even talk to leadership besides saying hi and bye...I have felt like leadership has always been watchful of me but expected it because I do my work primarily in the front office which puts me pretty close to them. Non-leadership may not know anything about me other than seeing me in the front office so that reflects back on them. I have felt things lighten up some with leadership over the past few months (2-3 months lol). I say all this to say I didn't even think leadership was messing with me all like that.

There's more that I want to say but I'm a little tired since I just got home about an hour ago. Sundays are like another work day. Of course I thanked him for even considering me but I don't know if I'm going to apply. At first it was a strong no and on the ride home it became a strong no, maybe. I told the person who I work under about the talk me and the guy had so we're scheduled to talk more about it on Monday night.


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## Sharpened (Oct 15, 2018)

It's good you understand that this is a process. Life is a process. Salvation happened, yet it is an ongoing process.
Check this out:


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## PhonyBaloney500 (Oct 15, 2018)

janiebaby said:


> Long story: Ok some background....I've been serving in my church for over a year unpaid like everyone else...A few times I've had the person I work under ask me if I would be interested in a position at the church (like 2-3 times since last year) if one should open up and I've always been really hesitant about it so I'll say uh maybe it depends....The assistant to the pastor (not the person I've been working under) has been saying he's been wanting to talk to me since like forever....no really, I feel like he asked me either last year or the beginning of this year (before I started working at my current job) about what I was looking for in a job and I said some things I can't remember but I do recall talking about salary.
> 
> Then like a couple months ago he said he needed to talk to me but he never did. Then a few weeks ago he said he needed to talk to me and again he never did. So today he comes up to me and says it again and I'm like ok you said that a few weeks ago and he said I know we'll talk today. So in my mind this whole time I've been thinking he needs my help with a big event that we hold every year. Preparation is like a year round thing which is why I keep thinking that it's about that particular event. However, now I'm busy and the event is around the corner and I'm like uh if he asks me to do something how am I going to fit it in with everything I'm currently doing but.... I'm probably going to say yes because it may be an opportunity to serve in a different area.
> 
> ...


Why are you reluctant?


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## janiebaby (Oct 15, 2018)

PhonyBaloney500 said:


> Why are you reluctant?



Imposter syndrome...I always tend to feel like I'm not good enough or that I'm going to let people down who are depending on me so I tend to shirk responsibility which I recognize and am working on.

That being said, I have an administrative asst background which I have been trying desperately to get away from over the past few years. Even the stuff I do now for the church I would say is more project based which I like alot. I like working but I like working odd hours and I tend to become a workaholic when it's something I really enjoy. I enjoy being busy and working with a lot of moving pieces so 9-5 in an office doesn't appeal to me. I do like that the job has some odd hours which leads to a small amount of flexibility and I will never ever be bored that's for sure.
------
I was typing and I got the call I was waiting for. Just got off the phone with the person I work under. Uh I'm scared. She said alot of great things about my work ethic, character, and my ability to be proactive and anticipate things but she did say pretty much what I said about my confidence. She said that she feels I would be diplomatic but timid. She also said that people in the position have typically just followed the boss's orders and there hasn't been alot of coordinating. I mean I was thinking ok I can manage up but I feel like I may need to wear him down to get to that point.
---
I don't feel any more confident about the position after having the discussion. To follow up on what I was saying before the call...I feel like I would need to commit to at least 2 yrs in the position. No one has spoken with me about this but I just feel like this would be so....

Plus c'mon y'all know church folk are some special people. I dont want to feel like step and fetch. I have not grown up in the church and don't know nor have interest in all the various customs  yet I wouldn't want to say or do anything to embarrass my boss either.

Aside from all that I have some grown woman concerns like benefits...career path, retirement. It would be different if I were married but I'm not it's just me and my salary/benefits/future retirement.


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## janiebaby (Oct 16, 2018)

Sharpened said:


> It's good you understand that this is a process. Life is a process. Salvation happened, yet it is an ongoing process.
> Check this out:



Thank you for this @Sharpened 

When I was reading Coretta Scott King's autobiography it had occurred to me that ordinary people can do extraordinary things if they just keep going.


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## janiebaby (Oct 17, 2018)

I just submitted my resume and cover letter for the Church position! I'm horrible at interviews so I'm going to try to practice.


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## Laela (Oct 17, 2018)

Hey @janiebaby .. 
I'm glad you applied!   

I'm reading thread and your reluctance reminded me of Moses lol.. yours is a decision of faith...



janiebaby said:


> I just submitted my resume and cover letter for the Church position! I'm horrible at interviews so I'm going to try to practice.


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## janiebaby (Oct 18, 2018)

Last night I had a different dream. I dreamed that I may have been at a concert (that part is foggy) but I remember watching someone sing the song "Great Is Your Mercy". I don't recall the last time I heard this song.


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## janiebaby (Oct 19, 2018)

I was struggling to figure out if I was going to post this but....

1 Peter 2 is....
strumming my pain with his fingers
singing my life with his words
killing me softly with his song
killing me softly with his song
telling my whole life with his words
killing me softly with his song


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## janiebaby (Oct 30, 2018)

Since this thread is like my blog lol.......

I got my annual physical last week. Sunday I went to an event where I had a little too much to eat and I've been feeling gassy ever since. I've been taking probiotics left and right to no avail.

Last night I got a weird feeling in my upper stomach not painful at all really it just made me overall kinda feel a small amount of fear and I wasn't sure why. I went to sleep and that's that. Still gassy.

This afternoon my Dr called and I knew it was something because I don't have any appts since next year so I knew it wasn't an appt reminder. My Dr said my liver tests came back abnormal and she wants me to retest.

Looking back on things I feel like this may have been a problem that has remained undetected for years (if there is a problem). At least 6 or 7 years ago I complained of upper abdominal pain on my right side and was given an ultrasound which came back OK. I remember about 4 years ago I had to get a blood test for a job and I may be mistaken but I think the same test came back high. I (think) I let my Dr know and I may have (must have) retested ok plus I got a physical last year so it must've been normal then too.

I don't take Tylenol just baby aspirin occasionally and my Dr said that wouldn't cause the level to increase. The only thing I'm taking is BCP and I might have been taking them before when my level went up. I can't recall. I feel like I can't afford to stop taking BCP because it helps regulate my cycle. I was bleeding through my clothing and even after my period stopped I would still bleed smaller amounts my entire cycle. It also has helped regulate my moods. And of course with the option of taking it continuously I'm experiencing less pain which had been becoming unbearable.

Hopefully things will get figured out.

Also my blood sugar came back high as well.


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## janiebaby (Nov 1, 2018)

Update: retested yesterday and got my results today. My results came back "improved"! It's still elevated but not as much as it had been. My Dr wants me to retest next month and continue to stay away from Tylenol and alcohol.

ETA: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

Just wanted to get that out there lol

11/6: this isn't the health forum so I don't want to bump this thread because of this but this morning I almost threw up bile. I remember reaching down for something and coming up and it just happened. I'm not sure if the fact that it was bile was because I didn't have anything on my stomach and maybe it would've been something else if I had eaten idk. 

Also, I'm feeling ridiculously full right now after eating dinner. I ate about 3 1/2 hours ago and I'm still uncomfortable.


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## Sharpened (Nov 2, 2018)

Are you documenting all your experiences somewhere? I use spiral notebooks and a Word document to keep track of spiritual things and biblical revelation.

Keep seeking the will of the Father, His truth, His wisdom, His knowledge, His refinement, no matter how much it cuts you. That plus purity leads to Him revealing more of Himself to you. He values consistent and persistent loyalty overall.


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## janiebaby (Nov 2, 2018)

Proverbs 13.........I'll come back to this.


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## janiebaby (Nov 2, 2018)

Sharpened said:


> Are you documenting all your experiences somewhere? I use spiral notebooks and a Word document to keep track of spiritual things and biblical revelation.
> 
> Keep seeking the will of the Father, His truth, His wisdom, His knowledge, His refinement, no matter how much it cuts you. That plus purity leads to Him revealing more of Himself to you. He values consistent and persistent loyalty overall.



I have been buying notebooks all my life but I never go back to what I write nor am I consistent with writing anything and alot of the notebooks go unused or half used. I lost all my word docs that were on other computers because I didn't save them to a drive or anything. That's kinda the reason why I've been posting here because I know I will come back to it here but yea I should def note this somewhere else too because things do happen. It's also weird when I write things for my eyes only....I feel like I don't go into as much detail.


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## janiebaby (Nov 2, 2018)

Prudence
Careful, wise discernment; the avoidance of rash behaviour or speech; the good management of talents and resources and the showing of tact and wisdom in relationships with other people.


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## janiebaby (Nov 4, 2018)

I might not get the position mmm hmm and that's ok....no I haven't heard anything back about the interview yet...and nope that's not why I don't think I'm going to get the position.

Inwardly I feel like I need a little more seasoning and I also feel like my job isn't quite accomplished in the role that I'm currently in right now. However to be clear....if someone else sees something in me they may think is a right fit for the position and I don't get another offer then...

It's something I need to pray about.

I'm so exhausted from today that I just wanna shut up and look at the wall for a few mins


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## janiebaby (Nov 13, 2018)

1 Samuel 18:14-16
1 Samuel 18:28-30


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## janiebaby (Nov 26, 2018)

Still waiting to hear back about the position. Meanwhile..........my first insurmountable task....breaking down communication silos in my volunteer church position.


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## janiebaby (Nov 30, 2018)

A couple things have happened over the past few days...I was thinking about not posting but meh whatever

1) I had a dream that one of my teeth was loose....this normally means change for me......I went back to a text my friend sent in 12/2017 asking what me what it meant and that's what I texted back to her.  I kinda forgot about the dream until I was reading a book that mentioned teeth and I found myself running my tongue over my teeth to make sure mine were ok. 

2) I like putting my covers over my face sometime...don't really think i sleep like that (?) but I fell asleep with my covers over my face. I felt like something had happened to me but I attributed it to sleep paralysis. I guess this would be the second case of sleep paralysis in about 3-4 months maybe.


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## janiebaby (Dec 1, 2018)

James 1:4


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## janiebaby (Dec 2, 2018)

I got the position and found out on Friday before I posted. I guess I just feel weird. I feel happy and scared. More scared than happy. I know I'm lacking self-confidence but I just feel the weight of this position and I'm relying on God to help push me through it. I just want to be effective. A big part of me knows I have what it takes to get the job done and another part of me is like ok what if I'm not effective. I know this position is going to strengthen my faith in ways that I can't even imagine.


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## janiebaby (Dec 2, 2018)

Just got off the phone with a relative. We were talking about my anxiety around alot of the communication issues going on and she said I know the answer, I know what you gotta do, I'm gonna tell you what you have to do.......pray!......man o man good stuff I love that woman


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## janiebaby (Dec 11, 2018)

Still scared.............but God put me here for a reason. I don't know what that reason is but this is what I prayed for. I prayed earlier in the year that I would have a testimony to share. I know that we all have testimonies but I could never pinpoint what mine currently is to share. I know some people may feel that me getting this job is a testimony but I don't feel that this is completely the case. I don't know what this job entails in its entirety and what I'll face but when I look at the things that I've prayed about....this job description seems to fit the bill.


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## Sharpened (Dec 12, 2018)

janiebaby said:


> I know that we all have testimonies but I could never pinpoint what mine currently is to share.


He is the God of minutia. He cares about the little things and does little things around us every day. It is up to us to recognize His work.


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## Laela (Dec 13, 2018)

@janiebaby, congrats on the new position. God will guide you...


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## newgrowth15 (Dec 14, 2018)

janiebaby said:


> Still scared.............but God put me here for a reason. I don't know what that reason is but this is what I prayed for. I prayed earlier in the year that I would have a testimony to share. I know that we all have testimonies but I could never pinpoint what mine currently is to share. I know some people may feel that me getting this job is a testimony but I don't feel that this is completely the case. I don't know what this job entails in its entirety and what I'll face but when I look at the things that I've prayed about....this job description seems to fit the bill.


Don't forget to give God thanks and praise for answering your prayers. On the days when your flesh rises up and tempts you to grumble and complain about the new position, come back here and read your documented journey and, once again, give God the glory. Amen!


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## janiebaby (Dec 14, 2018)

Laela said:


> @janiebaby, congrats on the new position. God will guide you...



Thanks!! @Laela


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## janiebaby (Dec 14, 2018)

newgrowth15 said:


> Don't forget to give God thanks and praise for answering your prayers. On the days when your flesh rises up and tempts you to grumble and complain about the new position, come back here and read your documented journey and, once again, give God the glory. Amen!



That's a word! Thanks!! @newgrowth15 

ETA: I'mma still complain to yall tho...I'll just do it with a grateful heart


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## janiebaby (Dec 14, 2018)

I got an idea last night about what may be my purpose in this role..............I have some idea of how it may change me but my contribution other than just doing a good job wasn't quite clear....I don't want to put it out here yet but feel free to PM me if my posts get too vague


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## janiebaby (Dec 17, 2018)

Today's my 1st day! Weird dream last night......I dreamed I had a corner apt next to an elevator. The apt was already filled with stuff that wasn't mine. I believe it had 4 bedrooms or at least 3. I feel like I may have been with a child and was planning on one of the bedrooms being theirs and choosing from the others.  I liked the choice of using multiple rooms but looking back the rooms (apt) were really filled with stuff that wasn't mine. I also remember looking back on the dream that the apt was dark (I can't recall any lights being on) and it was nighttime. I remember not being all that pleased with where the apt was....there wasn't a view, I remember wondering if the corner apt was the biggest out of the apts, I do remember liking that I had several rooms to choose from but wondering why I had so many rooms in the first place and if I was being charged for just 1 or (2-still not sure where the thought of a child came from since I can't picture one in the dream).

While looking at my nonview I did go out of the back of the apt. I saw a big baseball diamond and at least 3 people playing on it...again this was night. Now irl I'm normally annoyed about being anywhere close to a place where ppl play anything lol. I was sorta then too in the fact that it contributed to me not having a view. I then realized I might have locked myself out so I went back through a broken screen I think. I remember wondering about safety/security. I don't remember much else. It may have been summer since it wasn't cold.

I really think this dream means something. Also just as an aside, I'm sharing my office with the previous person until I'm done training and their stuff is still there. Don't know if it's connected.


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## Queenie (Dec 19, 2018)

Look up John Paul Jackson for an explanation on how to interpret dreams through a Biblical view. His teachings have helped me over the last 10 years.

The thing that stands out in your dream is that it was night time. That's supposed to mean God is showing you the enemy's plans. 
Bright colors are God telling you something. Muted colored dreams are your desires.

Also, the stuff you can remember is the main message.


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## Laela (Dec 20, 2018)

Dreams often are manifestations of our thoughts and feelings...and not necessarily   God trying to say something  because  He can speak  to us while we are awake and in other ways and He promises us sweet  sleep. You did mention a possible 3 bedroom, 3 people playing in the diamond. From a Biblical numerology standpoint the number 3 represents the Trinity and, generally, symbolizes growth. The baby or young child represents birth or newness. The new job and the unknowns and anxieties about it likely are a natural extension into your sleeptime. Do you drink herbal tea before bedtime? 
_This is just my opinion on your posts of course, I'm in no way purporting to be a spiritual advisor._

BTW.... How was your first day on the job?


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## janiebaby (Dec 23, 2018)

Thanks @Laela ! It's going pretty well so far. The biggest piece as always will be the people. All I can do on my own part is encourage clear frequent communication and a collaborative spirit.


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## janiebaby (Jan 16, 2019)

janiebaby said:


> Today's my 1st day! Weird dream last night......I dreamed I had a corner apt next to an elevator. The apt was already filled with stuff that wasn't mine. I believe it had 4 bedrooms or at least 3. I feel like I may have been with a child and was planning on one of the bedrooms being theirs and choosing from the others.  I liked the choice of using multiple rooms but looking back the rooms (apt) were really filled with stuff that wasn't mine. I also remember looking back on the dream that the apt was dark (I can't recall any lights being on) and it was nighttime. I remember not being all that pleased with where the apt was....there wasn't a view, I remember wondering if the corner apt was the biggest out of the apts, I do remember liking that I had several rooms to choose from but wondering why I had so many rooms in the first place and if I was being charged for just 1 or (2-still not sure where the thought of a child came from since I can't picture one in the dream).
> 
> While looking at my nonview I did go out of the back of the apt. I saw a big baseball diamond and at least 3 people playing on it...again this was night. Now irl I'm normally annoyed about being anywhere close to a place where ppl play anything lol. I was sorta then too in the fact that it contributed to me not having a view. I then realized I might have locked myself out so I went back through a broken screen I think. I remember wondering about safety/security. I don't remember much else. It may have been summer since it wasn't cold.
> 
> I really think this dream means something. Also just as an aside, I'm sharing my office with the previous person until I'm done training and their stuff is still there. Don't know if it's connected.



Wow @this dream....I feel like I can kinda decipher it better now. I think I may have had another dream since then but unfortunately I didn't write it down 

I did have two revelations since being there. 1. I dreamed that I had some sort of familiarity with my boss early last year or late the year before. I remember waking up thinking why would I dream that we were familiar with each other when I didn't know my boss then and couldn't see how we would get to being familiar with each other.

2. I had a deja vu moment with a co-worker where I might have dreamed awhile back that we weren't cool and I had wondered how we got to that place when we're cool irl .....interesting


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## Laela (Jan 17, 2019)

^^ As someone had recommended upthread, use this thread as your journal of sorts....and glad to see that it's helping with your journey.
Your deja vu moment reminds me of my fave book, Ecclesiastes! In Chapter 1, verses 9-11, it goes:
_
 What has been is what will be,
and what has been done will be done again.
There is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything about which is said,
“Look! This is new!”?
It was already here long ago,
    in the ages long before us.
There is no remembrance for former things,
    and things yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow._

*Tree of Life Version (TLV)*
Tree of Life (TLV) Translation of the Bible. Copyright © 2015 by The Messianic Jewish Family Bible Society.


-----------------How awesome is it that we have a Father who WAS, IS and is yet to COME! Stay focused ...


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