# So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Single?



## Poohbear (Aug 18, 2009)

I've seen a lot of threads about hoping and praying that the women of LHCF get married. The Bible never insists that everyone be married. God has not promised every man and woman to be married. There's nothing wrong with praying to be married one day, but sometimes it seems like with all the threads in this forum, there are women here who are depressed, saddened, confused, or frustrated that they are not married yet. It's almost to the point that they would probably get mad at God for not blessing them with a man to marry. And that's not good. Plus, to face reality, God is not going to allow all of us to get married. God either says, "Yes", "No", or "Maybe" to answer our prayers. And we must be content with God's answer for each one of us. God also wants us to be happy as an unmarried person. 

While we are unmarried, shouldn't our focus be more on the Lord rather than hoping for a man to get married to? Should we instead be praying to do God's will and purpose for our lives whether we are unmarried or not?

Here is what the Bible says about the advantages of being single:
*“But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married cares for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)*

I also wanted to say this...He never recommends that everyone stay single. Early in the chapter, he says that some must marry because of their desires. From a spiritual standpoint, a single man has more time to concentrate on spiritual matters. Of course, if one doesn’t use being single to spend more time in the work of the Lord, then this advantage goes away and there is no spiritual advantage to being single. 
However, not everyone should be married. Not everyone wants to be married. Although that is what we were created for, it is hard to legitimately obey the command to be fruitful and multiply if one does not marry. 


Just thought I would share...thoughts and comments are welcome....


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## Bunny77 (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

Ooh, my favorite topic.  Nicola Kirwan, I think answered this one best though! 

The 1 Corinthians 7 is often quoted in relationship to this topic, but this is Paul's opinion. Yes, Paul was divinely inspired, but I have often wondered why this opinion of Paul's is interpreted as a statement from God about the "advantages" or "benefits" of being single. The fact is, very few people at that time remained single, unless, as you said, they were called to work for the Lord. Unless a person has received that specific calling, they are meant to be married. 

Now, I recognize that God has not promised marriage to everyone. However, in a culture that values marriage, most people who want to marry will marry. What we are experiencing today is not the result of God suddenly deciding that he wants more single servants, but the consequences of living in a sinful world that has devalued marriage... which is why fewer men are stepping up to be husbands and fewer women are becoming wives.

Satan can attack a people by first and foremost hitting the family unit. All of this talk of longterm singleness, to me, is just another sign of the enemy having his way and preventing God's children from coming together in matrimony and creating future members of His kingdom that will live under the guidance of a father and mother. 

If we happen to be unmarried at this time, we should still live our lives in blessing and thanksgiving, but God's will and purpose for most of His children is marriage. And praying that it happen in a sinful world that says otherwise is praying for His will to be done.


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## Laela (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

Poohbear,

This post is nothing but Truth, esp the bolded!  

I believe, though, that some who are frustrated and even saddened are feeling this way because marriage *is *the desire of their hearts. 

God bless you for sharing these words on wisdom on this subject.






Poohbear said:


> I've seen a lot of threads about hoping and praying that the women of LHCF get married. The Bible never insists that everyone be married. God has not promised every man and woman to be married. There's nothing wrong with praying to be married one day, but sometimes it seems like with all the threads in this forum, there are women here who are depressed, saddened, confused, or frustrated that they are not married yet. It's almost to the point that they would probably get mad at God for not blessing them with a man to marry. And that's not good. Plus, to face reality, God is not going to allow all of us to get married. God either says, "Yes", "No", or "Maybe" to answer our prayers. *And we must be content with God's answer for each one of us. God also wants us to be happy as an unmarried person. *
> 
> While we are unmarried, shouldn't our focus be more on the Lord rather than hoping for a man to get married to? Should we instead be praying to do God's will and purpose for our lives whether we are unmarried or not?
> 
> ...


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## Mamita (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

ITAAAAAA Bunny

If you think about it, the woman being the weaker vessel is not supposed to struggle on her own

marriage is also two believers helping each other, in the faith, in the bedroom so they don't burn, it's a lot of things

If the man is the woman's head, a woman alone for the rest of her life is missing something.

Yes i believe thos thoughts of staying single independent etc... whatever it is is the enemy keeping people from something wonderful.

And if you're married to a fellow believer, there's nothing you will ever need, cause the two of you will have all the blessings in teh world if you both believe right of course.

I will say this about what Paul said, I think he means all that before you're married. it IS easier somehow to seek the Lord and get the Holy Ghost while you're single and THEN find another saved person to marry. If you seek the Lord after you're married, you have responsibilities you didn't have before when you were single.


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

This is yet another evidence that there are "contradictions" in the scriptures.  They're not really contradictions...but there are many meanings...on various different levels and apply to lives according to individual needs.  I can certainly understand the celibate, single monastic life.  I understand marriage as well.  I tend to side with the 'be fruitful and multiply' as the most desired lifestyle.  But for those called to 100% service to G-d, singlehood is probably better.  Ministers have a different call and their successful marriages provide strength and encouragement to those they serve.  But I like to look at Adam, he was lonely, so G-d made Eve.

For right now, I'm single raising children.  I do desire a man of G-d but until I get one, I have to be happy and satisfied where I'm at for now.  And having had an abusive marriage does not make me wish to rush into another.  You have to be so very careful.  Sometimes I enjoy that I don't have somebody lording over me.  But then again, he shouldn't have in the first place...


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## discobiscuits (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

i've always had Paul's attitude, that the best is to be unmarried but if one can't or chooses not to, then there is nothing wrong with it. 

I also know that God does not choose mates for us, we choose for ourselves. Being married or unmarried is our choice and God honors whichever we choose. He will bless our union if we heed His instructions and warnings. 

No matter what, women do not need to be married ever if they don't want to be weaker vessel or not, all humans were designed by God to be able to stand alone. 

The word is clear that it is better for a man to be married than vice versa wives are supposed to be a good thing, a blessing, someone who has the tools to increase the man's productivity and enhance his life. No where in the word does it say that a husband is a good thing and that he is a helper ready and fit. Man is not supposed to be alone, women are 100% self-sustainable. 

An unmarried woman is never missing anything. She always has her "covering" be it her father, or her pastor, but at all times her covering is Jesus.

We were designed to add to our husband's lives as wives but if men and women remain unmarried it is the best state to be in like Paul said.


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## Ije4eva (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

I believe that marriage is one the most natural things in the world.  And as Bunny77 mentioned, it IS God's will for most of His children.  I don't think there's anything strange about the fact that many women desire a husband because God Himself puts that longing in our heart so that we will pray towards it and prepare our hearts for that ministry. If marriage were as automatic as it used to be in the past, I doubt there would as many threads as there are about it, but since its not we find many women expressing their desire on here and talking about the struggles they've gone through and pain they've experienced due to the unmet desire.

The only thing I take issue with (as Poohbear mentioned) is the lack of contentment, but its something that you learn over time (for your own good).  Even when God puts a desire in your heart its not because He wants your life to stop until it comes to pass.  In the years that you're single its God's will that you live a joyful and fulfilled life with Him as your husband, provider and center of your universe.  That doesn't change whether you have an earthly husband or not, so its best that you realize that and dedicate your life to His service while you're still unattached. JMO.


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## Poohbear (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

Great responses ladies!


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## Laela (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

Marriage is GOOD because it is of GOD, so I hope no one is getting this misconstrued.

I highly suggest reading a book like "_*Single, Married, Separated, & Life After Divorce*_" by Myles Munroe.

THERE IS A BIG difference between being SINGLE and being UNMARRIED. God CREATED us to be *single*, _even when we are married_. Being content with God is important, but just because a woman has the desire on her heart to get married doesn't mean she's not content with God. God hears and answers the prayers of his own, in his own time.


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## Highly Favored8 (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

Poohbear in all honesty it is all about choice. 

There are times when I read an article and it talks about "The Benefits" of marriage, and with that being said, yes, there are benefits to marriage. However, I am seeing some not all marriages called "fly by night" where married couples are not honoring their vows made before man and God. - Cheating, etc....

For me myself, my hearts desire is to marry I want more children and I want to honor and respect God so for me it is by choice. Being married comes with so much responsibility and that comes with the territory.

Being single I liked at times and other times I didn't. However, IMHO that if woman's "hearts desires" is to marry then I pray that God will grant her request.


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## PinkPebbles (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

ITA with Bunny77!

The purpose of the marriage threads is to encourage and support those who desire to get married. We are living in a world (AA culture) that no longer value marriage. It's refreshing to stand in agreement with other believers and know that God will give us the desires of our heart. It's a blessing to read testimonies letting us know that we don't have to compromise and settle; but there are good men out there that have a heart after God. As believers we are supposed to encourage, support, and testify to one another so that our faith won't waver.

On the other hand, I understand your sentiments Poohbear. If a single woman doesn't know how to live on her own and be content with the Lord then she is setting herself up for disappointment. A man can't be your everything....


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## yodie (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

I think there are so many posts here about single women desiring to be married because that's simply where they are in their life.  I'm single and I desire to be married.  That's where my heart is, so that's what I post about, if there is a thread pertaining to marriage.  Five or six years ago when I had no desire to be married, I didn't post about it.  

God told us to be fruitful and multiply.  We can, but aren't supposed to multiply out of wedlock, so I would imagine that we should be married.

God also said that he perfects EVERYTHING that concerns me.  So, yes, I live a life of contentment serving the Lord, but there are things/issues that I take to the Lord.  Example, I want healthier hair practices.  I talk to the Lord about that and I post over in the hair forum.  Same with exercise.  I take my health to God and I post about that over in the health forum too.  Just like an athlete that trains for the olympics.  When coming off their off schedule, they get focused, leave the junk food alone and start getting focused. It's a transition.  I feel like I'm transitioning, so my focus and disciplines have shifted.  

I think it all depends on where a person is in their life, but I don't think the majority of the threads in the Christian forum are about marriage.  Maybe we're just in a season right now where ladies that are desiring to be married, are coming together and expressing that.  Nothing wrong with that! There will be another season and another topic may take the main stage.

I can only speak for myself.  There were days when I was very happy and excited to be single and did not focus on being married.  I travelled in those circles, with ladies who felt the same way during that season of my life. I'm still happy and excited, but marriage is in my heart.  It's a natural transition FOR ME.  Water seeks it's own level.  I'm seeking dialogue (and studying-  honestly) on issues of marriage. 



Great thread.


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## discobiscuits (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

it would be nice if it were God's will for us humans to be married but it is not His will in any way, shape or form. It is our choice and clearly stated so. If it were His will then he would choose our mates which he does not. 

Our will is what is in charge here in the earth and God would never over rule that. Jesus taught his disciples how to pray in the misnomerd Lord's prayer "Your will be done in earth as it is in heaven". He taught us to pray that way because our will rules on earth not God's and we have to relinquish our will and give God's will permission to operate. 

God set it up that way from day one of creation. Adam and Eve had free will and chose to rebel and sin ("through one man's sin").  Jesus has free will in his human form which is why he had to pray "if it be your will take this cup from me" and he relinquished his will to not suffer and die to His Father's will to save mankind (one man's obedience and sacrifice). At the tower of Babel, God confounded the languages because man has the authority in the earth that He cannot over ride and God said that anything man puts his mind to do cannot be stopped. 

So as wonderful as it sounds and as much hope it may give some, it is not God's will for people to marry but he allows us to choose marriage and will honor it as it is not against his will. If it is marriage we want, God will grant that request.


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## Laela (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

*Genesis 2:18*
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."




1star said:


> Iit is not God's will for people to marry but he allows us to choose marriage and will honor it as it is not against his will. If it is marriage we want, God will grant that request.


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## discobiscuits (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



Laela said:


> *Genesis 2:18*
> The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."



That passage is in the word but that is not God's will for us to MARRY. He created a companion for Adam. Additionally, if people choose to incorrectly interpret that to mean it is God's will for us to marry, then in that context it is God's will for men to marry not for women to get a husband, but for a man to get a wife. The scriptures are replete with how a wife is a blessing not a husband. How a wife is a help meet not a husband. But the bottom line is mankind has free will which God's will cannot and will not override or that would make God a liar which He is not.

If that passage is incorrectly interpreted to mean that God's will is for us to be married, then Paul is a liar and should not have said that being unmarried is best and he should have obeyed his God and found a good thing, aka wife. He did not because Paul knew that it is not God's will for mankind to be married but instead is our choice.

Adam likewise could have chosen to reject Eve as his wife but she was still there as his companion so that he was not alone. The entire passage in context states that after God brought the animals to Adam, He realized none were equal to Adam to be a companion and Adam was alone (not lonely b/c God and Adam could communicate face to face). So God made a companion for Adam. Finally, Adam and Eve were never "married" per se.


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## Crown (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



> Finally, Adam and Eve were never "married" per se.


I totally disagree!
Adam and Eve was married, in the presence of God! What a Pastor!

Gen 2.22 And the rib, which *the LORD God* had taken from man, *made he a woman, and brought her unto the man*.    2.23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 2.24 *Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.*    2.25 And they were both naked, *the man and his wife*, and were not ashamed.


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## discobiscuits (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



Crown said:


> I totally disagree!
> Adam and Eve was married, in the presence of God! What a Pastor!
> 
> Gen 2.22 And the rib, which *the LORD God* had taken from man, *made he a woman, and brought her unto the man*.    2.23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 2.24 *Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.*    2.25 And they were both naked, *the man and his wife*, and were not ashamed.



i see what u r saying, but that is not a wedding. they were married in the joined sense but not in the sense we use today. God was not in the role of the pastor. 

depending on how geneisis is taught, and knowing that Adam and Eve were NOT the names of individual people but the word for Man and the word for woman that can be interpreted as the gender man and the gender woman coming together or an individual man and individual woman (neither named adam or eve) coming together as a couple.

in the context of what is quoted above. an individual man and individual woman chose to join themselves together instinctually, not by the guidance of God but with his permission knowing their created roles. 

this was all pre-fall. post-fall, marriage and the wedding ceremony is a construct designed by mankind not God but it is honored by God because it goes hand in hand with the 10+ commandments and is not in conflict with His will or sinful.


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## Prudent1 (Aug 18, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



PinkPebbles said:


> ITA with Bunny77!
> 
> The purpose of the marriage threads is to encourage and support those who desire to get married. We are living in a world (AA culture) that no longer value marriage. It's refreshing to stand in agreement with other believers and know that God will give us the desires of our heart. It's a blessing to read testimonies letting us know that we don't have to compromise and settle; but there are good men out there that have a heart after God. As believers we are supposed to encourage, support, and testify to one another so that our faith won't waver.
> 
> *On the other hand, I understand your sentiments Poohbear. If a single woman doesn't know how to live on her own and be content with the Lord then she is setting herself up for disappointment. A man can't be your everything....*




ITA . Pink Pebbles took the words "right out of my mouth". Especially with the bolded. God is to be first period. No husband, children, family, job, etc should ever be in his place in our lives. That may be why some are not ready for marriage at this time in their lives.  God knows and he changes us little by little from glory to glory. God is a jealous God. He doesn't want anything taking his place in our lives. We have to learn to be content regardless to our circumstances. We must be thankful at all times. That is God's will.


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## Mamita (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

1 Star here's what i get from you : God does not choose for us; that scriptures that mention men do not concern women (so what you think cause he told men not to lie with men, it means women can lie with women?); it's our choice; our will is what's in charge; we need to give God's will permission to operate? God cannot override our authority in the old testament, you don't believe in Adam and Eve as individuals, and they weren't really married cause she didn't have a bouquet and a dress and a pastor, and WE humans came up with marriage????

I don't know who you are or where you come from but we don't serve the same God i can tell you that right now. Some serve Allah, some serve Buddha, some serve a Catholic God. What your God does and doesn't do is not mine. so impossible to see eye to eye or even agree to disagree cause that's all completely wrong to me

Sorry I don't see how else to put it


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## JinaRicci (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



1star said:


> i see what u r saying, but that is not a wedding. they were married in the joined sense but not in the sense we use today. God was not in the role of the pastor.
> 
> depending on how geneisis is taught, and knowing that Adam and Eve were NOT the names of individual people but the word for Man and the word for woman that can be interpreted as the gender man and the gender woman coming together or an individual man and individual woman (neither named adam or eve) coming together as a couple.
> 
> ...


 
You know one of the things I just love about God is how He always has a plan with a purpose. Notice the difference in how God created the animals-all the living creatures of land, sea & sky (Genesis 1:20-25). _Their_ pairing- male & female was instinctual behavior. 

With man- first God created Adam and allowed him to name the animals, allowed him to notice that there was no mate for him (Genesis 2:20). Then God created Woman out of man (Gen 2:21-22). Eve was not an afterthought though-God didn't forget to make a female human. Maybe He just wanted Adam to notice that it was not good to be alone, to long for a suitable helper. How much more do we appreciate something once we've missed it! 

God could have created them at the same time and allowed them to just naturally gravitate towards each other but that's not what happened. God was so purposeful. Then He took it a step further- He used one of Adam's ribs. He could have just created a female from the dust of the earth like He did with Adam. But He didn't & Adam recognized that this woman was created just for him- recognized that she was part of him. (Gen 2:23) God made them one flesh! 

How much more special & purposeful is that than random pairing or instinctual behavior? God not only allowed & guided that union, He orchestrated the whole thing. From designer to matchmaker to officiator and I guess He was also the wedding planner.  And He worked quickly too- talk about efficiency!

We may have come up with wedding traditions & justice of the peace unions that still allow people to be officially married but God created marriage. He performed that first marriage ceremony between Adam & Eve and *He* is still the one blessing & joining people in marriage today. He is also still the best matchmaker ever- never random always purposeful.


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## Poohbear (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



yodie said:


> I think there are so many posts here about single women desiring to be married because that's simply where they are in their life. I'm single and I desire to be married. That's where my heart is, so that's what I post about, if there is a thread pertaining to marriage. Five or six years ago when I had no desire to be married, I didn't post about it.
> 
> God told us to be fruitful and multiply. We can, but aren't supposed to multiply out of wedlock, so I would imagine that we should be married.
> 
> ...


 Thanks for sharing. I wasn't saying the majority of the threads in the Christian forum were about marriage. I just said there's a lot of threads about marriage. And I'm certainly not speaking against marriage because I too would like to get married one day as well. I think it's good that you have a balance of contentment in your life right now.


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## Poohbear (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



JinaRicci said:


> You know one of the things I just love about God is how He always has a plan with a purpose. Notice the difference in how God created the animals-all the living creatures of land, sea & sky (Genesis 1:20-25). _Their_ pairing- male & female was instinctual behavior.
> 
> With man- first God created Adam and allowed him to name the animals, allowed him to notice that there was no mate for him (Genesis 2:20). Then God created Woman out of man (Gen 2:21-22). Eve was not an afterthought though-God didn't forget to make a female human. Maybe He just wanted Adam to notice that it was not good to be alone, to long for a suitable helper. How much more do we appreciate something once we've missed it!
> 
> ...


 I agree. God created marriage and performed the first marriage with Adam and Eve. Weddings are something man-made in order to celebrate a lifelong commitment between a man and woman. Some people get married in the courthouse, at church, at home, outside, just different places. No matter what wedding traditions and practices go on today, God is still the one that joins a man and a woman in a true marriage. I think that's why we have so many divorces today because people get caught up in the wedding aspect of it all and leave out God.


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## Crown (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



JinaRicci said:


> You know one of the things I just love about God is how He always has a plan with a purpose. Notice the difference in how God created the animals-all the living creatures of land, sea & sky (Genesis 1:20-25). _Their_ pairing- male & female was instinctual behavior.
> 
> With man- first God created Adam and allowed him to name the animals, allowed him to notice that there was no mate for him (Genesis 2:20). Then God created Woman out of man (Gen 2:21-22). Eve was not an afterthought though-God didn't forget to make a female human. Maybe He just wanted Adam to notice that it was not good to be alone, to long for a suitable helper. How much more do we appreciate something once we've missed it!
> 
> ...



Thank you so much!
I am not fluent in English, I could not say this so perfectly.
Just adding that the disaster of our time about marriage, even between Christians, it's because we don't know or we don't take the time to listen to God.


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## Crown (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



1star said:


> i see what u r saying, but that is not a wedding. they were married in the joined sense but not in the sense we use today. God was not in the role of the pastor.
> 
> depending on how geneisis is taught, and knowing that Adam and Eve were NOT the names of individual people but the word for Man and the word for woman that can be interpreted as the gender man and the gender woman coming together or an individual man and individual woman (neither named adam or eve) coming together as a couple.
> 
> ...



Coming back just for you!
Mat. 19.4 And he answered and said unto them, *Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,*    19.5 *And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?*    19.6 *Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder*.    19.7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?    19.8 He saith unto them, *Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so*. 19.9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.


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## Bunny77 (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



Crown said:


> Thank you so much!
> I am not fluent in English, I could not say this so perfectly.
> Just adding that the disaster of our time about marriage, even between Christians, it's because we don't know or we don't take the time to listen to God.



What is your native language Crown?


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## Crown (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



Bunny77 said:


> What is your native language Crown?



French!


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## JinaRicci (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

I forgot to answer the original post.  You're right we should be content in God no matter what.  Our focus should also be on God whether we're single or married. My prayers & the prayers that I see here are about asking God for His will to be done.  We're also supposed to ask for what we want- the desires of our heart.  

The frustration that we see with women in general- not just Christians is in part b/c of the state of marriages today.  ITA with what Bunny said.  Marriages are under attack yet people want to be married- look at all the online dating forums. We also sometimes try to do our own thing outside of God's will, including not having God at the center.  But as Christians, we should realize that our marriages are not immune to the attacks that exist in the world.  I think one of the purposes of marriage is also to bring us closer to God, to help perfect our characters.


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## EbonyEyes (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

I really love this thread!  Excellent posts.  Thank you Poohbear for posting your thoughts.

I have a couple thoughts.  I apologize if they don't flow together.

In my young years, I've thought about whether it's in God's perfect will for some people not to be married.  My hope is if that is indeed true (which I'm leaning towards a yes), those people would not have a strong, intense desire to be married and instead would have the desire to serve God wholeheartedly as a single person.

Now for the folks that really want to be married - It is promised in the Word that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will grant us the desires of our hearts.  It is not promised that He will grant us the desires of our hearts *instantly*.  There is also God's timing which is perfect but we as Christians struggle with accepting that timing with joy and contentment.

Regarding Paul's statement on marriage - I believe it is a sound opinion but wasn't a blanket "You should never get married" type statement.  The Bible says that a man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife.  Unfortunately, there are people today that not only leave their parents, but leave their common sense, wisdom, and even God Himself and cleave to their mates in an unhealthy way.

Paul had a serious calling on his life.  And it's possible that he did not want to take any chances of messing that calling up and drawing away from God if he got married.  I can't be sure where Paul's head was during the time he made that statement - Just a guess.


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## Shimmie (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



EbonyEyes said:


> I really love this thread! Excellent posts. Thank you Poohbear for posting your thoughts.
> 
> I have a couple thoughts. I apologize if they don't flow together.
> 
> ...


 
Excellent guess.


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## discobiscuits (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

Crown, thank you. However, those scriptures do not support the premise that God created "marriage" as it is known by mankind. Those scriptures are a reminder to us that the SPIRITUAL UNION of male and female is ordained and authorized and blessed by God and should not be tampered with by the couple or by outsiders. God does not choose mates for us and he does not marry us. He is not a spiritual or cosmic match-maker as so many hope, pray and think that He is. He created the state of a spiritual union between an individual male and an individual female (flesh and blood bodies which house immortal spirits) which was designed to be a permanent bond between the two.  In that spiritual union, the humans have the freedom to express it physically without sin or shame. 

"Marriage" is a man-made construct for legal reasons. A spiritual union of a man and a woman is outside of those limited boundaries. We do not need ministers to officiate ceremonies, vows, documents etc. to be joined in a God ordained holy union with another. Even a writ of divorce is for man-made legal reasons as the scriptures you cited explain. 

There is a vast difference between the union that God ordained and the ones that man recognize.


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## Poohbear (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



1star said:


> Crown, thank you. However, those scriptures do not support the premise that God created "marriage" as it is known by mankind. Those scriptures are a reminder to us that the SPIRITUAL UNION of male and female is ordained and authorized and blessed by God and should not be tampered with by the couple or by outsiders. God does not choose mates for us and he does not marry us. He is not a spiritual or cosmic match-maker as so many hope, pray and think that He is. He created the state of a spiritual union between an individual male and an individual female (flesh and blood bodies which house immortal spirits) which was designed to be a permanent bond between the two. In that spiritual union, the humans have the freedom to express it physically without sin or shame.
> 
> "Marriage" is a man-made construct for legal reasons. A spiritual union of a man and a woman is outside of those limited boundaries. We do not need ministers to officiate ceremonies, vows, documents etc. to be joined in a God ordained holy union with another. Even a writ of divorce is for man-made legal reasons as the scriptures you cited explain.
> 
> There is a vast difference between the union that God ordained and the ones that man recognize.


 Now I see where you're coming from in your previous posts. Thanks for clarifying. 

With what you have said, do you think people can still be considered as married if they decide they want a spiritual union rather than the traditional man-made wedding that goes on today with the courts and the churches???


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## missann (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



1star said:


> No matter what, women do not need to be married ever if they don't want to be weaker vessel or not, all humans were designed by God to be able to stand alone.
> 
> The word is clear that it is better for a man to be married than vice versa wives are supposed to be a good thing, a blessing, someone who has the tools to increase the man's productivity and enhance his life. *No where in the word does it say that a husband is a good thing and that he is a helper ready and fit. Man is not supposed to be alone, women are 100% self-sustainable.
> 
> ...



Interesting.  Not saying I've memorized the Bible, but I don't recall a "husband is good" passage.  Hmmmm.  I suppose it's weird b/c everyone tells women they should be married/seek to be married.  If she's not pining away for a man, something's wrong with her.

I will research this more.


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## EbonyEyes (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



Poohbear said:


> Now I see where you're coming from in your previous posts. Thanks for clarifying.
> 
> With what you have said, do you think people can still be considered as married if they decide they want a spiritual union rather than the traditional man-made wedding that goes on today with the courts and the churches???


 
To piggy-back on Poohbear's question - 1Star, do you believe that if a man has a God-ordained spiritual union with a woman, instead of a traditional man-made marriage, then God will not view sex between these two as fornication?

What I'm getting at here is - Is it possible for sex between people to not be considered sin by God even if these two people are not legally married?


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## Crown (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



1star said:


> Crown, thank you. However, those scriptures do not support the premise that God created "marriage" as it is known by mankind. Those scriptures are a reminder to us that the SPIRITUAL UNION of male and female is ordained and authorized and blessed by God and should not be tampered with by the couple or by outsiders. God does not choose mates for us and he does not marry us. He is not a spiritual or cosmic match-maker as so many hope, pray and think that He is. He created the state of a spiritual union between an individual male and an individual female (flesh and blood bodies which house immortal spirits) which was designed to be a permanent bond between the two.  In that spiritual union, the humans have the freedom to express it physically without sin or shame.



It's hard for me to understand your point of view, it is very very new for me. I am asking respectfully : is it new age? 




> "Marriage" is a man-made construct for legal reasons. A spiritual union of a man and a woman is outside of those limited boundaries.


 Jesus has compared marriage to the initial union between Adam and Eve, so it's not just a man-made construct.



> We do not need ministers to officiate ceremonies, vows, documents etc. to be joined in a God ordained holy union with another. Even a writ of divorce is for man-made legal reasons as the scriptures you cited explain.


I agree!




> There is a vast difference between the union that God ordained and the ones that man recognize.


Are you talking about the union between Adam and Eve, or all unions. In this case, are you suggesting that someone can be in a marital union with her husband and in a spiritual union with an unknown man?
I am just asking, trying to understand. Thank you to clarify!


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## Ije4eva (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

Just a few thoughts, I come from a culture (Nigerian) where the traditional form of "marriage" is when the man and women leave their families and come together (as suggested in Genesis - mind you Adam and Eve didn't have actual "parents" to leave!).  In my culture, the man goes to the woman's village to marry her, but he must receive the blessing form his and her kindred.  His kindred follow him to her village to show solidarity and acquire everything he needs to give to her village people as the bride price. During the ceremony they ask the woman if that is the man she has chosen. She then has to go with the man with a cup of wine and have him drink it in the presence of their people to signify that its him, then the union recognized by both families.  Then they go to their "father" and he prays over them and blesses the union so that he can take her as his wife.

The ceremonies that are officiated on earth are extremely important IMO because they are symbolic to show earthly agreement (maybe like ushering in) with what is being done in heaven (what God revealed to Moses in Exodus about sacrifices that should happen on earth etc. were the same as what were taking place in heaven as show in Revelations and other portions of the bible).  The fact that in most cultures (whether primitive or advanced) the ceremony of "marriage" is basically what is described in Genesis to me is signifcant, and has a Holy seal on it, we can't discredit that symbolic acknoweldgement for any reason.

Secondly, the women is meant to be a helper to the man, but the man is a covering and redeemer to the women.  The bible talks about the husband feeding and clothing and loving his wife, dealing with her according to knowledge and caring for her.  Woman have their role and so do men, when the men "find" us, we benefit in our own way from the covenant. In my opinion, that too is a very good thing.


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## Spongie Bloom (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



missann said:


> Interesting. Not saying I've memorized the Bible, but I don't recall a "husband is good" passage. Hmmmm. I suppose it's weird b/c everyone tells women they should be married/seek to be married. If she's not pining away for a man, something's wrong with her.
> 
> I will research this more.


 
*this thought process may not be borne out of religion but society and as we know society has used religion to justify a lot of injustices in the world one of them being women's oppression through history because of the rightful position of the woman (being mis interpreted) through the Bible. Society has perpetuated that women should pine for a man/ depend on a man to fuel a mans ego and to keep the man as the breadwinner with the woman totally dependent on him financially and socially it was and still is a mans world, of course these social constraints do not necesarily exist anymore (in some societies) *


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## Spongie Bloom (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

*To answer the original question I also dont believe that God is a matchmaker either, I do not believe in soulmates i.e. one person who was especially made for you and only the two of you are the perfect fit. I believe two pple meet, fall in love and work at their marriage. Choosing the man is in our hands if we choose to get married, that is not to say we cannot pray about it, I mean anything whether good or bad we take it to God, when we have exams we pray that He helps us with our nerves etc, when we study we ask Him to help us retain the information and so on; so we also ask Him for objectivity and whatever qualities one needs to meet the mate they desire.*


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## Bunny77 (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



Spongie Bloom said:


> *To answer the original question I also dont believe that God is a matchmaker either, I do not believe in soulmates i.e. one person who was especially made for you and only the two of you are the perfect fit. I believe two pple meet, fall in love and work at their marriage. Choosing the man is in our hands if we choose to get married, that is not to say we cannot pray about it, I mean anything whether good or bad we take it to God, when we have exams we pray that He helps us with our nerves etc, when we study we ask Him to help us retain the information and so on; so we also ask Him for objectivity and whatever qualities one needs to meet the mate they desire.*



This is how I see it, and I also agree with 1Star that God doesn't choose mates for people. I know a lot of people say, "God is the ultimate matchmaker," and I really don't think that to be the case.

I also don't believe in soulmates, and don't think that's a Christian idea at all.

However, when I say that marriage is God's will for most people, I think that it still leaves us a choice as to whether or not we want to accept that or choose otherwise. I have prayed for marriage, and while I don't believe that God just plopped a man into my life, I believe that He began working and preparing me to make a wise choice when I would encounter men who could potentially be my husband. 

It's interesting to me as well that once I began praying specifically for marriage, I began attracting marriage-minded men, including the man that I am seeing now. Did God plop this guy into my life? Not necessarily... but perhaps I wouldn't have considered this particular man when I did not have the wisdom to truly understand that my choice should be based on finding a man would make a good husband and father.


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## discobiscuits (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



Crown said:


> It's hard for me to understand your point of view, it is very very new for me. I am asking respectfully : is it new age?
> 
> 
> *nope. no new age stuff here. *
> ...


__________________________________________


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



1star said:


> Crown, thank you. However, those scriptures do not support the premise that God created "marriage" as it is known by mankind. Those scriptures are a reminder to us that the *SPIRITUAL UNION of male and female is ordained and authorized and blessed by God and should not be tampered with by the couple or by outsiders. God does not choose mates for us and he does not marry us. He is not a spiritual or cosmic match-maker *...
> 
> "Marriage" is a man-made construct for legal reasons. *A spiritual union of a man and a woman is outside of those limited boundaries.* *We do not need ministers to officiate ceremonies, vows, documents etc. to be joined in a God ordained holy union with another.* Even a writ of divorce is for man-made legal reasons as the scriptures you cited explain.
> 
> T




This is actually something I'm struggling with right now.  For me, in either judaism or catholicism, the "sacraments" or officiating are a necessity.  It's not religiously official without...in orthodoxy of both faiths.  But there is a lot of discussion about whether G-d announces the mate of newborns at their birth.  Whether they find that mate is up to the life they lead and the decisions they make.  Sometimes true mates find each other.  In some less orthodox circles, this is not really believed.  I tend towards the supernatural side of things...so I'd tend to believe it.  But there are so many who do not find a good mate or their true mate.  It's like the one is there and we have free will to choose and strive for all that G-d has in store for us.  Will we get it all here on earth?  Probably not.  But we can come close.  I'd like to believe there is a spiritual mate for me, chosen by G-d.  But you make a good point of the other side.  Something definitely to think about.


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## music-bnatural-smile (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

I think we should all be content... I think this is God's desire... single or married...
I think now as a single woman I will be the best single lady (lol) i can be, then as a wife, I will be the best wife as I can be... hopefully He will allow me to get married... if not, my parents basement is really comfortable lol. A (real) good man is very difficult to find, hopefully I found him... if not, praise God anyways


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## discobiscuits (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



Bunny77 said:


> This is how I see it, and I also agree with 1Star that God doesn't choose mates for people. I know a lot of people say, "God is the ultimate matchmaker," and I really don't think that to be the case.
> 
> I also don't believe in soulmates, and don't think that's a Christian idea at all.
> 
> ...



I really like your entire post. I used to pray to be married _and_ for a mate (the two are different). I used to ask God to bring a man that He approved of into my life so that I could get married. I never had a shortage of suitors and I've turned down proposals. Then I sat down and really thought about marriage and mates. Then I changed my prayers.

I decided to pray for a good marriage instead of a mate. I decided to pray that the man I chose was prepared by God.

My former pastor and his wife used to drill it in our heads that we make the choice and that marriage is a mystical spiritual life long union of two imperfect people and that it is better to be unmarried than married. They taught us to pray for a mate God would approve of and prepared and for us to prepare ourselves spiritually, financially, educationally etc. so that when that mate came along, we would be ready to receive her or accept him. They taught us that women were created from the beginning by God to be accepted by men and that we never had to sit around and pine away for or chase after men. They taught us that a wife is a good thing to find but women had to be in a place to be found, not holed up in our prayer closets. They taught us a lot of things.

I decided that marriage for me was an option and I chose not to marry and I've been quite happy. I decided that if I did chose to marry I had my "list" and parameters already set. I stopped praying for a mate and never looked back. I stopped thinking God was a cosmic matchmaker. I try my best to skip threads or not comment at all when I see women on this forum praying men in their lives or waiting "prayerfully" for a mate etc. 

*I love your post because it says things I'd like to say or tired to say so much better than I could have. *


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## Ije4eva (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

Hmm, as far as the "cosmic matchmaker" thing goes I have some thoughts on that one as well, lol.  Years ago (though I've always been a hopeless romantic at heart) I wouldn't have thought this was the case.  In fact all I really wanted was for God to build up godly qualities in me so that I could be a good mate to somebody, I wasn't exactly of the opinion that there was only 1 person in the entire universe for me.  However now because of what I've seen over the years my mindset on this one has changed.  We serve a God of purpose and He doesn't do anything without a reason behind it.  If God brings two people together, there is a reason, however big or small it may be, there is one. In the bible He did it many times, usually when it had to do with the lineage of Christ from what I can tell, but its right there in front of us that He showed people their mate/other half (including Adam).  That is not to say you can't marry someone else and be very happy, but I do know that at least in some cases, maybe not all, God does lead people to that specific someone with a purpose behind the whole thing.  And as with everything else in life, its best to be right smack dab in the center of God's will.

Besides the fact that God showed me (and confirmed it to many others) my own mate and removed all my own logical thoughts of the way these things should happen, its happened to many people who I'm close with and a few months ago my very own mother even admitted that it happened to her with my dad.  I no longer question what God can and cannot do, I probably won't be able to figure that out on this side of Heaven anyway.  All I know is that He is God and we should seek Him in every single aspect of our life.  He lead us in the perfect direction.

ETA: We DEFINITELY have to choose for ourselves if we will accept God's plan.  God can reveal but will not force His will on us.


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## Bunny77 (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



1star said:


> I really like your entire post. I used to pray to be married _and_ for a mate (the two are different). I used to ask God to bring a man that He approved of into my life so that I could get married. I never had a shortage of suitors and I've turned down proposals. Then I sat down and really thought about marriage and mates. Then I changed my prayers.
> 
> I decided to pray for a good marriage instead of a mate. I decided to pray that the man I chose was prepared by God.
> 
> ...



Quick question... it looks like you have a wedding ticker in your siggy... are you getting married? I thought you were, but then you just said that you've chosen not to marry. Just curious, 'tis all!

I also agree with nearly everything you posted, except the teaching of your pastors that it's better to be unmarried than married. It's a bit odd that a married pastor and his wife would say this, especially since they made the choice to marry.

I don't have a problem with anyone on an individual level deciding that it's better to be unmarried than married, but to teach that to others as a whole... hmmm, I don't know about that.  That does concern me. 

Why did a married couple say it was better to be unmarried? What do they think about children and the proper way to bring them into the world? 

I'm not saying that marriage is automatically better either... I don't believe in a "better" option really, other than if one desires to marry, that is a good thing. If one does not, that is also a good thing (if they are using their single time in a way that honors the Lord... same for married folk).


Thanks for answering!


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## JinaRicci (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

Maybe I need to clarify my use of the term 'matchmaker.'  It seems that this term is being used to refer to something cosmic, written in the stars or something involving astrology.  I don't believe in that stuff so I hadn't even though about that or thought it would be interpreted that way.  That sort of thinking can be dangerous because it can actually exclude God in the process.  

It can also cripple us by allowing us to think that our mates will just magically appear or that there's only one person out there.  If that was the case, then we would find ourselves asking questions as to who is really 'the one' and if something -God forbid- were to happen to our first husband and we got re-married then is the first or the second husband 'the one?' erplexed

My use of the term matchmaker in reference to God has to do with involving God in the process.  Everyone we meet will not be suitable for us and they could be great people.  Allowing God who knows all things to have the final say on our choice of mate to me is how we can involve God before we say 'I do.' In fact involving him before that- in how we go about choosing a husband ensures that it is not random but with a purpose.  Yes-like Ije4eva said God can bring 2 people together for that reason.   It doesn't mean that we don't proactively look for a husband or that we don't pray to God for guidance in our choices.  

For e.g. In the Bible when Isaac was looking for a wife (Gen 24), they actually went looking.  His servant who knew the qualities that were needed prayed to God for success and made a specific request so that he would know who would be right.  I don't know if or how Isaac & Rebekah would have still met- God was involved but someone went looking.


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## discobiscuits (Aug 19, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

Bunny, they meant it in the sense of knowing from experience the work it takes and from the spiritual standpoint that as an unmarried you care for the things of God not your spouse. That was what they meant. They were not in anyway discouraging people from marriage. They taught this over my 20+ years in that church in several messages so I condensed. Sorry. 

As for my ticker. I like being unmarried, I prefer it. The plan is to marry my "boo" in January (his b-day month). I may not do it. Plan B is marry in September (my b-day month). I may not do it. He and I have been friends for over 10 years and we both kinda figure we are not getting any younger and have done all we want to do as unmarrieds and we care for each other so why not get married (to each other). I'm not sure I want to give up my freedom yet but both of us were in bad car accidents which caused us to re-evaluate our priorities and desires. 

So, that is the plan but right now I'm leaning toward not doing it. Also because of things I've mentioned previously, I don't see the purpose other than tradition and for society and NO we are not fornicating with each other or anyone else and we are not shacking and we are not common law. It is so hard for me to wrap my mind around some dude saying over me "by the power vested by the state of _____ I now pronouce..." Who are you and what does the state have to do with what God joins? I wish so badly that he and I could just pray together to God and then say "i marry you, you marry me, i'm your husband, i'm your wife, we're married" and go to the court and sign some papers that make it legal in the eyes of man and KIM. LOL


As Forrest said: that's all I have to say about that.


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## Crown (Aug 20, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



Bunny77 said:


> ...
> 
> However, when I say that marriage is God's will for most people, I think that it still leaves us a choice as to whether or not we want to accept that or choose otherwise. I have prayed for marriage, and while I don't believe that God just plopped a man into my life, I believe that He began working and preparing me to make a wise choice when I would encounter men who could potentially be my husband.





music-bnatural-smile said:


> I think we should all be content... I think this is God's desire... single or married...
> I think now as a single woman I will be the best single lady (lol) i can be, then as a wife, I will be the best wife as I can be... hopefully He will allow me to get married... if not, my parents basement is really comfortable lol. A (real) good man is very difficult to find, hopefully I found him... if not, praise God anyways



We can choose or not, accept or not. But :

Jer 10.23 O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.

Like music-b said : be content anyway, single or married! Rejoice and praise the Lord.


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## Mamita (Aug 20, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

how do you reconcile the concept of choosing your own self something as important as your mate for life, the head of your household with _Jeremiah 17:"9": The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? _

If like this verse says the thing APPOINTED for me :
_Job 23:13 But he is in one mind, and who can turn him? and what his soul desireth, even that he doeth. 
14 For he performeth the thing that is appointed for me: and many such things are with him. _
Isn't it that He is deciding everything? at least for his people? Just like there's a difference between *blessings *and *mercy*, light and darkness, choosing and fulfilling your destiny.

Here in Genesis when Abraham's servant went to look for Isaac's future wife without knowing who she would be, God knew beforehand that it would be HER, the Lord APPOINTED Isaac with a wife. 

_Genesis 24:14 And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let *the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac*; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master_. 

So why would God who is the same yesterday today and tomorrow stop suddenly putting christian couples together? when they are a great pillar to the body of the Church since their seed when raised right will come back to the Gospel of their youth

Now I believe the set of rules is different with whatever master you serve, if you live in wickedness ain't nothing promised to you but fire, your life is nothing but a tiny boat on an angry ocean going with the waves which are consequences of your wicked actions.
Now His people? who were ordained to be saved before the world was even created? now that's different, since He won"t suffer us to be moved, since OUR prayers are heard once we're converted and walk with Him, the rules change, He protects us and our life is His and then it's back to Job 23:13.

I mean if you pray HIM about finding a husband, you don't think He's gonna point you toward who HE has chosen for you? 

As for widows, i believe if you're Holy Ghost filled and your husband too he won't die first. If the Lord has said that the woman's head is her husband He will not take him away from you and tear apart the family unit that follows his order. Now if the wife is Holy Ghost filled and her husband isn't ordained to be saved, then yeah he could die first and then if she does find a Holy Ghost filled 2nd husband then HE was meant for her. 

Christians can't pass by their destiny, they can only slow it down. But oooh it WILL happen. and that's the only free will we have, the free will to slow our destiny down if we're ordained to be saved.

I met my fiance i was a stone cold sinenr had never even heard of being saved, met on the internet like 100s of guys profiles i had seen over a few years of browsing and exchanging a couple messages with. Him in NJ me in France. this one for some reason i gave my msn to. (have talked every single day since the begining) me wicked him newly baptised i was truned off and yet couldn't help chatting and chatting and chatting. exchanged numbers. Me the party girl started staying home to chat instead of bar hopping. turned out he was a preacher's son . All this long distance, when i would sleep around with no shame whenevr i had an "itch". 4 years later i've been celibate and we're engaged and I got baptised and am seeking the Lord and being put aside for him.
Now that wasn't me, that wasn't the me i used to be, I didn't chose anything that was AAALLL HIM. I was ready to party some more and get pregnant and raise my child on my own like my mom, yes that was my plan. that's what i had chosen for myself.

If you are destined to be saved you have no choice, whether it be your revenue, your mate, your roof it will all be given you by Him directly what is best for you. Either you fight it or don't see it and slow it down, or you take it.

ok that was a mouthful, i need some water lol


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## Mamita (Aug 20, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

and well if you're saved or ordained to be saved and Philippians 2:13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. 

then you know you have not much to do with it lool hallelujah the Lord is good and i want Him in me 24/7 Glory!


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## Poohbear (Aug 20, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



1star said:


> Bunny, they meant it in the sense of knowing from experience the work it takes and from the spiritual standpoint that as an unmarried you care for the things of God not your spouse. That was what they meant. They were not in anyway discouraging people from marriage. They taught this over my 20+ years in that church in several messages so I condensed. Sorry.
> 
> As for my ticker. I like being unmarried, I prefer it. The plan is to marry my "boo" in January (his b-day month). I may not do it. Plan B is marry in September (my b-day month). I may not do it. He and I have been friends for over 10 years and we both kinda figure we are not getting any younger and have done all we want to do as unmarrieds and we care for each other so why not get married (to each other). I'm not sure I want to give up my freedom yet but both of us were in bad car accidents which caused us to re-evaluate our priorities and desires.
> 
> ...


@ the bolded part... how come you cannot do that?  My parents got married by just professing their love for each other and then going to the court and signing papers. They didn't have a wedding in a church with a pastor. They have been married for 32 years so far.


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## EbonyEyes (Aug 20, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



Mamita said:


> * As for widows, i believe if you're Holy Ghost filled and your husband too he won't die first.* If the Lord has said that the woman's head is her husband He will not take him away from you and tear apart the family unit that follows his order. Now if the wife is Holy Ghost filled and her husband isn't ordained to be saved, then yeah he could die first and then if she does find a Holy Ghost filled 2nd husband then HE was meant for her.



Thank you for your post Mamita.  Just one thing....

My great aunt was saved and baptized and so was her husband.  Her husband was pastor of my home church and my great aunt was first lady and served as a Sunday school teacher.  According to my mom, he was deeply in love with the Lord and his sermons were on fire.  As for my great aunt, she loved herself some Jesus and served him faithfully in the church until she got really ill.  He died in 1979.  My great aunt just passed away in early August 2009 - 30 years later.  

So when you say Holy Ghost filled, do you mean one who has been saved and baptized in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost?

I just want to make sure that I understand your definition of Holy Ghost filled.


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## Mamita (Aug 20, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



EbonyEyes said:


> Thank you for your post Mamita.  Just one thing....
> 
> My great aunt was saved and baptized and so was her husband.  Her husband was pastor of my home church and my great aunt was first lady and served as a Sunday school teacher.  According to my mom, he was deeply in love with the Lord and his sermons were on fire.  As for my great aunt, she loved herself some Jesus and served him faithfully in the church until she got really ill.  He died in 1979.  My great aunt just passed away in early August 2009 - 30 years later.
> 
> ...



Hey you know what i'm actually rethinking that, i think he won't die young or even middle aged, I think once you're really seasoned in the Lord you can probably survive your spouse.

I'm Holiness, and we baptise in the name of Jesus Christ ONLY, and Holy Ghost filled would be baptised with the Holy Ghost also evidenced by speaking in tongues and living a Holy life.

As for your great Aunt, just trying to see how it went, did she die of that illness?

I don't know your aunt or your family their lives and struggles or beliefs im just going on what I know and practice myself. 

Do you in your practice, or hers if it was different, preach about the Lord The Doctor? how He can cure from any ailment? i know some preach it was only for back then old times or something, maybe that's what you practice?

Oh and ETA 30 years later? so he was young? or middle aged? like he died we'll say prematurely?


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## EbonyEyes (Aug 20, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



Mamita said:


> Hey you know what i'm actually rethinking that, i think he won't die young or even middle aged, I think once you're really seasoned in the Lord you can probably survive your spouse.
> 
> I'm Holiness, and we baptise in the name of Jesus Christ ONLY, and Holy Ghost filled would be baptised with the Holy Ghost also evidenced by speaking in tongues and living a Holy life.
> 
> ...


 
Thanks for responding!

He was actually much older than her - He died when he was in his 60s.  She had 3 children with him.

Okay so you're talking about the baptism of the Holy Spirit?  I hear very few sermons about this.  My mom was saved at a young age but she believes she was baptised in the Holy Spirit around the time the Lord healed her of cervical cancer almost 10 years ago.

We were all raised in a Baptist church. My materal family definately believes in the Lord's healing.  My great aunt's mother (my great-grandmother) had a gift of laying hands and so does my mother.

My great aunt got extremely ill a few months after her two sisters who she was close with died within months of each other.  This was in 2000.  She actually did not want to live anymore.  9 years later, her health worsened.  A few months ago, my mom asked her if she wanted to live and she said "Yes".  So our family prayed for her healing.  However, it wasn't to be.  She died one day before my 25th birthday.


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## Mamita (Aug 20, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

Ladies it's late here in France, 

Time for some shut eye

means i won't be able to asnwer questions regarding my last post if there are any

I'll just leave you with 2 Esdras 8:3 There be many created, but few shall be saved and Luke 13:24 Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able. 

This is a wicked world and we can do nothing without Him


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## Mamita (Aug 20, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*



EbonyEyes said:


> Thanks for responding!
> 
> He was actually much older than her - He died when he was in his 60s.  She had 3 children with him.
> 
> ...



It's a shame you don't hear about it more, ask your pastor it's pretty essential. hallelujah for your mother that's beautiful. Your mother and great grandmother were probably Holy Ghost filled, i mean that's not a gift you get on its own it comes with the Holy Ghost. 
I'm very sorry your aunt died in those circumstances, and at that time for you, that's always very sad. 
Now you may totally disagree with me, and you have every right to, but we believe there's nothing new under the sun, and as Jesus said to a lot of sick people he came across "your faith has made you whole". Jesus the man has healed them just as much if not less than their own faith in the fact that He/God the Eternal spirit can do it.
And it still holds today. Someone that believes the right way will be whole including health wise. now maybe depression got the best of your aunt in her last years and maybe it shook her faith bad enough that she succombed to that illness.

In any case I'm very sorry for your lost, sick loved ones are extremely hard to get over. I hope you're healing or healed and at peace now or on your way there

(((((hugs)))))


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## SND411 (Aug 29, 2009)

*Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin*

I plan on never getting married. I want to be single and a virgin for the rest of my life, that way, I can travel the world and go on medical missions...God willing *prays*


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