# I Was The Only Black Person At Elizabeth Gilbert And Cheryl Strayed’s ‘brave Magic’ Retreat



## ladysaraii (Oct 16, 2018)

This was posted in a book group that I belong to. What do y'all think? I'll reserve comments until later.

I arrive in San Jose on Thursday, Sept. 20. After picking up my hybrid from Hertz, I drive up the windy, narrow roads to 1440 Multiversity, which rests at the top of the Santa Cruz Mountains in Northern California. I am so mesmerized by the scenery that I actually forget to be nervous about being in this unfamiliar situation: my first writer’s retreat, my first time meeting the other ladies from my online writers group face to face and my first solo trip for any reason in over a decade.

My stomach begins to churn the moment I take my place at the back of the 200-plus person check-in line. However, it isn’t churning because of the length of the line. It is churning because I am the only black person in it.

Craning my neck to look as far down the line as possible, all I see are natural blond ponytails and top buns, whose wearers look like they were born holding a yoga mat in one hand and a Mason jar in the other.

The “Brave Magic” retreat is described on the website as “An invitation to Curiosity, Creativity and Courage” with powerhouse authors (and besties), Elizabeth Gilbert and Cheryl Strayed (authors of “Eat Pray Love” and “Wild,” respectively). The cost of the three-day program, which excludes lodging but includes meals, is $450. I’ve flown up from Los Angeles and rented a car, so my total ends up being somewhere upward of $1,800. I’m trying to see it as an investment in my fledgling writing career (and I really hope the IRS sees it that way, too). Up until the moment when I take my place at the end of this long line of fresh-faced white women, I am pretty happy about how I’m spending this money.

As I look further down the line now, I can see a few silver-haired white women. I see three or four brown women (Middle Eastern, Indian or Pakistani?) and five Asian women (one I meet tells me that she is Korean-American). I find out later that there are 11 men in attendance also. But once the line that forms behind me is as long as the line in front, I am stung by this most unfathomable reality:

I am the only black one.

There are over 600 people here.

I’ve been the only one before. I was the only black student in class many times when I was in grade school, I was the only black parent (many times) when my kids were little, I’m often the only black person in my recovery meetings, on the tennis court and in workout groups. But I didn’t know that my first-ever retreat would be so massively big. And it hadn’t even vaguely occurred to me that out of 600 people, I might be the only black one. I am more than just shocked, I am deeply saddened.

While I continue to stand in line, I notice that some of the women are now craning their necks to make eye contact and smile at me. I smile back self-consciously, all the while trying to imagine how any of these yoga mat-carriers would feel if they’d arrived at a retreat where absolutely every one of the 600 attendees (and all of the facility staff members) were black.

_They’d probably slip away nervously and call someone, right? Or maybe they’d turn around and head back to the airport without saying a word to anyone._

I feel irrational tears pressing against the backs of my eyes.

_Really?! How is it that an event this big, in twenty fricken eighteen can be so incredibly homogenous? How is it that I can be the only one ― STILL ― AGAIN at age 54?!_

I think about getting back in my car and driving down that crazy mountain road back to the airport. Would anyone blame me if I did?

Gripping my car keys in my left hand so hard that my palm hurts, I use my right to send a group text to the women from my writers group, saying that I’ve arrived and that I’ll be “easy to spot.” Moments later, Stephanie appears (she lives in Portland, Oregon) and then Dana, who lives in Charlottesville, Virginia. They are both so happy to see me that it relieves a bit of my self-consciousness. Soon we have drifted into the dining hall. We’ve now been joined by our other two members, Amy who lives in Oakland, California, and Riva who lives in Toronto.

I am, as they used to say, quite obviously the fly in the proverbial buttermilk here, so, together the five of us sit and try to figure out why I am the only one who looks like me.

“You know, it is Liz Gilbert and Cheryl Strayed,” says one of them. “I’m not that surprised, given who their fans are ― and there are a lot of fans here. Maybe only half the people here even identify as writers.”

_But in this age of “Hamilton” and inclusion riders, how could the organizers of a 600-person event, where everything is planned so thoughtfully, down to the abundance of water bottle filling stations, have not even considered the optics and possibility of an all-white audience?_






COURTESY OF LAURA ROBBINS
“In this age of ‘Hamilton’ and inclusion riders, how could the organizers of a 600-person event ... have not even considered the optics and possibility of an all-white audience?”
After the first evening’s Brave Magic session concludes, I say goodbye to the girls and walk alone back to my room across the Multiversity campus. The crisp night air smells of firewood and pine needles. All around me are small groups of white women in cashmere shawls (did they pass those out when I wasn’t looking?) huddled around various firepits. The whole scene looks like it could be a spread right out of Goop Magazine. I am virtually unnoticed as I pass by each pit, catching fragments of intense conversations here and there:

“And then I put my arms around my inner child and just cried.”

“Didn’t you love when that man read his letter today? Wasn’t that brave of him?”

“I was just so moved by Liz’s story. Everything begins and ends on the bathroom floor, right...?”

Their soft laughter reminds me of the “chimes” option on my iPhone timer. Ahead of me is a sign that reads “Sleeping Pods” with an arrow pointing down a path.

_Sleeping pods?_

_Did other black writers choose not to come because they didn’t want to sleep in pods? Did they choose not to come because the Santa Cruz Mountains are so chilly and remote? Do black writers only want to attend truly diverse events? (Do those events even exist?) Was it too expensive? Or maybe unlike me, “Big Magic” and “Wild” aren’t books that profoundly changed their approach to writing. Or maybe they just didn’t want to risk traveling all day to get here, only to feel “othered” when they arrived._ 






COURTESY OF LAURA ROBBINS
“Did other black writers choose not to come because they didn’t want to sleep in pods?”

That night in my (private) room as I am waiting for Netflix to load on my laptop, I lean back against the stucco wall, picturing myself asking some of the black aspiring writers that I know, the questions that keep ringing in my mind;

_Hey! Did you guys know it would be like this? Is that why you didn’t come? And how come no one told me?_

On Day Two of the retreat, Liz and Cheryl begin the session by asking people how far they’ve traveled to be here. One woman raises her hand and says she’s come from Poland. Two or three shout “Australia” in unison. “London,” shrills from the far corner. “New York” yells the woman at the end of our row. I and the rest of the ladies look around as Cheryl starts throwing out names of random states and people’s hands shoot up with a collective whoop.

“Montana?”

“Yes!!!!”

“Hawaii?”

“Aloha!”

“Oregon?”

“Yeah!!!”

“Black people?” (OK, she didn’t really say that).

But I still picture myself standing up with the rest of them and shouting, “I’m here! I’m here! Happy to represent the black people of the world.”

Later, during Liz’s “Tribal Shaming” session, we’re instructed to write letters to the people or dynamics that we are betraying or abandoning. (Like: Dear ex-husband, I’m going to betray you now because I know that I will never be the kind of wife you were hoping for and, frankly, the fact that I continually disappoint you is killing me.)

But since I’ve already written that letter (yeah, that’s another story), I decide to write my letter to the black families at my sons’ schools who always try to get me to go to church with them.

Next, we’re to find a perfect stranger with whom to read it, so I look around and pair up with a redhead from the row behind me. She and I sit cross-legged in the aisle next to the row facing each other. We lean in close, so that we can hear each other over the cacophony of 300 women all reading aloud to their partners at the same time. After we introduce ourselves, she asks me to go first.

“Dear black parents...,” I say.

“Ugghhhh.”

I look up abruptly as I am unsure what the sound she’s emitting indicates and see that tears are streaming down her cheeks.

I smile with what I hope looks like empathy and then return my eyes to the notebook page. When she doesn’t actually say anything after a few seconds, I decide it’s OK to continue. But the moment I say, “at my sons’ school,” she loses it and begins to wail, letting her arms fall to her side. Mortified, I look around to see if anyone else is paying attention before I put my notebook down next to me.

“Are you all right?” I lean back a bit, so I can better assess what’s happening.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “It’s just that I have such an affinity for African-Americans.” She accepts the tissue I’m handing her. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to be African-American ― but I’ve always felt like I need to do more for African-Americans, you know? I feel like we could all do so much more.”

I will my eyes to keep their composure. Her pink-hued, freckled face is so full of earnestness and compassion.

“I protested when that African-American boy was killed by the police.”

_OK ... and which one?_

“And I don’t know why but I just have always felt more comfortable with African-Americans.”

_Oh, please do stop saying African-Americans._

I decide the best thing for me to do is just give her the hug she so clearly wants and finish reading my letter to her before Liz asks us to return to our chairs.

*   *   *

Heading back to the airport the next morning, I can’t help but wonder:

_What if it wasn’t an oversight? What if the event organizers just really didn’t care whether black people came to Brave Magic? Which leads me to another (and slightly existential) question: Do black stories matter?_

I mean, I know that they matter to us black people. But do they matter to the rest of you? Do you even want to know what it’s like to walk around like me? In skin like mine with hair like mine? Do you ever wonder what it’s like for black people to fail, love, grieve and triumph? What it’s like to raise black sons and daughters? What it’s like to be hated or feared on sight? Not for how or what you believe but simply because your skin has a threatening hue?

Do these stories matter to you?

I’m not asking if they matter as much or more than your stories, mind you. I’m asking if they matter at all? Do you think my story about feeling “othered” at Brave Magic might be as interesting and impactful as some white woman’s account of feeling right at home at the same event?

I think Roxane Gay would say yes. Toni Morrison might say, “Right on, sister!” And maybe even Ta-Nehisi Coates would give me some words of encouragement. My final questions are: Will writing about my experience at Brave Magic change anything? Will the 2019 organizers be more conscious of diversity and inclusion?

Is Brave Magic only for white women? I guess I’ll have to go next year to find out.


link


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## discodumpling (Oct 16, 2018)

She got what she paid for imho. She went to a retreat hosted by white women and was surprised that the overwhelming attendance was 99% WW?  
I mean really what does Elizabeth Gilbert and women like her have for BW?


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## fula97 (Oct 16, 2018)

ladysaraii said:


> “In this age of ‘Hamilton’ and inclusion riders, how could the organizers of a 600-person event ... have not even considered the optics and possibility of an all-white audience?”


*sigh*
This entire article is annoying.  First off you went to a writing conference put on by the chick who wrote Eat Pray Love and the other wrote Wild, Tiny Beautiful Things, Torch and Brave Enough. 99% of their base is white. And their writing style nor their writing about their "life experiences"are not going to appeal to most non white writers

Second no they didn't consider the audience. Why should they? Black people seem to be the only ones worrying about is it diverse enough  Ugh. Just stop worry about is it black enough when you put on an event. 


ladysaraii said:


> Really?! How is it that an event this big, in twenty fricken eighteen can be so incredibly homogenous? How is it that I can be the only one ― STILL ― AGAIN at age 54?!


She obviously learned nothing in all these years. 


ladysaraii said:


> I am, as they used to say, quite obviously the fly in the proverbial buttermilk here, so, together the five of us sit and try to figure out why I am the only one who looks like me.


So she decided to turn herself until a self help project at a conference.


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## sunnieb (Oct 16, 2018)

discodumpling said:


> She got what she paid for imho. She went to a retreat hosted by white women and was surprised that the overwhelming attendance was 99% WW?
> I mean really what does Elizabeth Gilbert and women like her have for BW?



Pretty much.   Did she post the event anywhere a black writer would see it? Well, at least she got to write an article about it. 

And I'm not offended by the term African American or Black for that matter.


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## ladysaraii (Oct 16, 2018)

Y'all had the same thoughts I did. This reminded me of that article about the crying white woman who saw an overweight black woman in her yoga class and had an existential crisis about it.



fula97 said:


> She obviously learned nothing in all these years.



I was so surprised to see she was 54. I feel like she's too old for this nonsense.


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## HappilyLiberal (Oct 16, 2018)

She grew up in an all white environment, raised her children in an all white environment, and chose to go to a conference sponsored by white women...  what did she expect?  She could have changed her trajectory--and that of her children--years ago with very little effort.


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## metro_qt (Oct 16, 2018)

I'm just wondering if she did her due diligence....has this retreat or any other retreats similar to it been put on by by these authors before?
Is there not anyone...INCLUDING the authors she could have writen to before hand to ask about diversity and inclusivity if it is such a problem to her???

That's what I do if I'm in unfamiliar situations...research!


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## nysister (Oct 16, 2018)

Did she really just end it like this?



> Is Brave Magic only for white women? I guess I’ll have to go next year to find out.



No offense but this was as vapid and pseudo self-reflecting as Eat, Pray, Love. Which was sophomoric and flavorless as it comes. I rolled my eyes so many times reading that book, and I don't normally roll my eyes.


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## Chrismiss (Oct 16, 2018)

This reminds me of a dilemma I'm seeing in a black planner group I follow on fb. They are chomping at the bit to go to a predominantly white planner groups conference, while the same black planner group just had their own conference this past weekend. In fact, while the black planner group's conference was in progress, people were steady posting in the fb group about the other planner group's conference. It seemed super coonish to me, as does this.


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## Goombay_Summer (Oct 16, 2018)

She truly revels in being the exemplary one of her ethnic/racial group, different from those other barbarians that they've had the misfortune to encounter. Hers is not the voyage of the Starship Enterprise, she's definitely not boldly going where no black person has gone before (as a favor to us). Lonely Laura ought to enjoy her tokenism in peace without expecting us to reward her with an oreo cookie.


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## Tibbar (Oct 16, 2018)

Since she seems to rebuff the other black parents at her son's school when they try to reach out to her, I'm going to rebuff her whole ridiculous stream of consciousness puff piece...

Meh.

ETA.. she thinks Toni Morrison would say right on sister to that??
C'mon son.


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## Southernbella. (Oct 16, 2018)

HappilyLiberal said:


> She grew up in an all white environment, raised her children in an all white environment, and chose to go to a conference sponsored by white women...  what did she expect?  She could have changed her trajectory--and that of her children--years ago with very little effort.



This. 

She sounds whiny and immature. Much like the folks she keeps surrounding herself with.


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## intellectualuva (Oct 16, 2018)




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## GreenEyedJen (Oct 16, 2018)

I truly thank God and my mom almost every day for not allowing me to end up like this woman. Black people that are brought up around all white people usually end up one of two ways: super proud of their race, or like this woman. She's sitting up there wondering why Black people _chose_ not to attend this event? She gave that girl a _hug?!?!?!?!_ 

I do understand that my parents thought they were doing what was best for me by living in the neighborhood I grew up in (and honestly, neither my brother nor I ever wanted to be like the white kids, so maybe they did) but I can't imagine bringing up my children, if I ever have them, in a neighborhood like the one we had. From what I've seen, most Blacks that grow up in that environment turn out like her, not like me and my brother. That would destroy me as a mother. 

I don't have anything in depth to add about the specific article. You guys were on it.


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## SurferBabe (Oct 16, 2018)

Sheesh. This woman needs counseling.


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## RossBoss (Oct 16, 2018)

fula97 said:


> *
> 
> Black people seem to be the only ones worrying about is it diverse enough



This. And it's annoying. Always being the mammy and wondering if there are enough "black and browns" and "people of color".


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## Theresamonet (Oct 16, 2018)

I agree with what everyone else has said... What did she expect? You're at a white women's event. White women are always trying to come into our spaces, but we usually leave them to do their white lady thing on their own. If I come to an event and I'm the ONLY black person, I'm leaving early. Not because I feel uncomfortable, but I know its not gon' be worth my black time. Also, all of the friends she was meeting up with at the retreat were white. So maybe if she had some black writer friends, they'd lead her to where the black writers be at. Instead of considering that no other black person could afford to go, consider that no other black person is interested in this wackness.

But the thing that really rubbed me wrong, is that despite feeling (or because she felt)  "othered", she decided to do the proverbial tap dance and pander to their white womaness. Why did she feel the need to tell a story about how she doesn't want to fellowship with the other black families at her son's school? What a perfect time to tell that story. 

Also, if a white woman is being weird, why try to make them feel good about it? I would have sat there quietly until white lady pulled herself together, and then continued with my story. Why the hugging and coddling, when its HER that's being made to feel uncomfortable?

*deep sigh*


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## intellectualuva (Oct 16, 2018)

Theresamonet said:


> I agree with what everyone else has said... What did she expect? You're at a white women's event. White women are always trying to come into our spaces, but we usually leave them to do their white lady thing on their own. If I come to an event and I'm the ONLY black person, I'm leaving early. Not because I feel uncomfortable, but I know its not gon' be worth my black time. Also, all of the friends she was meeting up with at the retreat were white. So maybe if she had some black writer friends, they'd lead her to where the black writers be at. Instead of considering that no other black person could afford to go, consider that no other black person is interested in this wackness.
> 
> But the thing that really rubbed me wrong, is that despite feeling (or because she felt)  "othered", she decided to do the proverbial tap dance and pander to their white womaness. *Why did she feel the need to tell a story about how she doesn't want to fellowship with the other black families at her son's school? What a perfect time to tell that story*.
> 
> ...



All
of 
this

especially the bolded. You're feeling "othered "at this event, then want to tell a story like that. 

Girl if you dont get yo....


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## Brwnbeauti (Oct 16, 2018)

I googled the event. Nothing about the site says, "Black women might show up."- only took 3 minutes to see this
Accommodations look nice.


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## Everything Zen (Oct 16, 2018)

GreenEyedJen said:


> I truly thank God and my mom almost every day for not allowing me to end up like this woman. * Black people that are brought up around all white people usually end up one of two ways: super proud of their race, or like this woman. * She's sitting up there wondering why Black people _chose_ not to attend this event? She gave that girl a _hug?!?!?!?!_
> 
> I do understand that my parents thought they were doing what was best for me by living in the neighborhood I grew up in (and honestly, neither my brother nor I ever wanted to be like the white kids, so maybe they did) but I can't imagine bringing up my children, if I ever have them, in a neighborhood like the one we had. From what I've seen, most Blacks that grow up in that environment turn out like her, not like me and my brother. That would destroy me as a mother.
> 
> I don't have anything in depth to add about the specific article. You guys were on it.



Agree 1000% You’re still confused At 54?  You have got to learn to figure this  out one way or another when it happens. Maybe I’m “spoiled” by the I don’t know if my generation with the help of the Great Recession was forced to become extra woke along with the Obama effect but still


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## oneastrocurlie (Oct 22, 2018)

Girl please. The first thing I do when I see an networking/learning type of event or conference is look at their previous year's pictures. Then I goggle all the presenters and speakers.

Bet it was all whiter than expensive copier paper.


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## lesedi (Oct 22, 2018)

I'm so annoyed that I read that.

She's a _pick me_ IMO


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## IslandMummy (Oct 22, 2018)

Brwnbeauti said:


> I googled the event. Nothing about the site says, "Black women might show up."- only took 3 minutes to see this
> Accommodations look nice.


I didn’t even need google, once I saw eat pray love I knew what the deal was.


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## intellectualuva (Oct 22, 2018)

IslandMummy said:


> I didn’t even need google, once I saw eat pray love I knew what the deal was.



I read the book and liked the movie. 


I wouldn't have gone to an event though.


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## Shula (Oct 22, 2018)

HappilyLiberal said:


> She could have* changed her trajectory--and that of her children--years ago* with very little effort.





Everything Zen said:


> *You’re still confused At 54?*



Too late now, sis missed that train. I mean she wrote this in whining that sounds just like ww whining about dumb things nobody else cares about. Remove the fact that you already know she's a black woman and we would have all concluded this as beckery. She's too far gone in the caucasity and ain't no coming back. Bet she don't even wanna come back; she just wanna do useless whining on the internet just like ww. Her transformation is complete.


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## Sarabellam (Oct 25, 2018)

nysister said:


> Did she really just end it like this?
> 
> 
> 
> No offense but this was as vapid and pseudo self-reflecting as Eat, Pray, Love. Which was sophomoric and flavorless as it comes. I rolled my eyes so many times reading that book, and I don't normally roll my eyes.



Halfway through the second sentence in this article I started rolling my eyes. I then skipped to read everyone’s comments.

It read like a caricature of the type of person who does basic normal things but expects others to give them praise for their superiority in this world.


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## PhonyBaloney500 (Oct 25, 2018)

She sounds dense and ridiculous. I'm going to a an event that will probably be mostly white cuz two of the bloggers are white and I'm not gonna be shocked or cry about it.

I also couldn't  stand that eat pray book (and movie).


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## PhonyBaloney500 (Oct 25, 2018)

And there are black women writer retreats. She could easily go to those too or instead.


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## RoundEyedGirl504 (Nov 7, 2018)

Self flagellation at its best. Better luck next time I guess.


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## FemmeCreole (Nov 8, 2018)

What an annoying article and equally annoying woman. She's pseudo complaining. She actually likes being the token special negress. Chile please.


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## 1QTPie (Nov 8, 2018)

Wouldn't and won't read anything by either of these authors. Just,... no thanks. And I certainly would not spend $1800 to do anyone's retreat.  Heck naw.


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## luckiestdestiny (Nov 11, 2018)

HappilyLiberal said:


> She grew up in an all white environment, raised her children in an all white environment, and chose to go to a conference sponsored by white women...  what did she expect?  She could have changed her trajectory--and that of her children--years ago with very little effort.



I feel like someone like this, she wants to pat herself on the back for being "diverse". See she doesn't "consider" others or their race when she reads their books. She doesn't see color. Kumbaya and all that.  That's fine and dandy if it were true, but I'm thinking this type of person uses it as superiority. It makes them feel good about themselves that they're one of the _only _ones doing X,Y,Z and thinking outside of the box unlike the other lost negroes out there.  While she's reaching out, and patting herself on the back for reaching out (kinda like Kanye cheering himself on for being one of the very few black people wearing Trump) she's lost the point. Sure she's considering the_ majority's_ viewpoint and breaking free of doing what other black people are doing (black writers).  

But guess what? While she's considering _them, t_he people that she reads don't see_ her_ or consider_ her._ And now she's screaming into the void instead of knowing that and going for whatever reason (fulfillment, etc) while trying to understand why others may not be interested in an event that is already clearly geared and marketed to and frankly only has white women writers as the "leaders" of the event.


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## luckiestdestiny (Nov 11, 2018)

nysister said:


> Did she really just end it like this?
> 
> 
> 
> No offense but this was as vapid and pseudo self-reflecting as Eat, Pray, Love. Which was sophomoric and flavorless as it comes. I rolled my eyes so many times reading that book, and I don't normally roll my eyes.


When I heard the synopsis, I refused to read the book. And the movie came out with the trailer to confirm my suspicions  . I knew a part of me would die inside reading that book or seeing that film and I wanted to keep my soul intact so I said, "No thank you." to eat pray love  . It seemed like the ultimate ww/feminist story as they wander and mooch on other cultures to "fill" the void inside, coming back with an epiphany.

From what I remember, the writer herself, in an interview said that an editor cut her a check and off she went. I was like (blink) what? How many people can just call up an editor, present an idea, get a six figure check and go eat pray love, having it on someone else's dime and then spin it into a book which of course becomes a  phenomenon because ww love to do stuff like that?  Getting someone to do that means you have to have connections, that usually comes from _access_ and mostly white privilege (with some exceptions).  
And the ease with which you can do it, because you know where your rent is coming from, allows her to easily go off and Eat, Pray, Love which is something that isn't practical for most bp who have a different financial lifestyle. I remember reading about BP who are middle class, their next generation is a step away from or fall back into the poor category (which is because we don't have generations of privilege, access, and financial help).  And of course I can't hate on the story but it wasn't realistic for an every day experience nor did I think that someone in that position could realistically learn something so profound from such an inauthentic experience that exploited the experiences and wisdom of other cultures. I'm assuming there were some wise sages in there from other cultures  because that usually happens and then they go back to their lives never to think of them again or to only use them in commentary to make their lives interesting. ​
I know in grad school (before I switched programs because part of my focus was on human rights, still was when I switched but through a custom program at Gallatin at NYU so I could get away from the insufferable ppl there), there was a pretentious group that kept talking about doing "the work" and they'd travel to other countries and take pictures to "witness" their pain. I mean they had pics smiling with poor people in these countries and I'm like, how are you telling this story and the professors are nodding like, Yeah!  Like how are you contributing by doing this? It's like they were at a zoo of people  or something. Sorry, I went a little off there, but these kind of people are the types that write and read Eat, Pray, Love. Oh and they bring back art mementos created by the people in such places and put them in their hair as conversational pieces  .  And they spout pseudo wisdom.

I want to write a book about these types  .


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## nysister (Nov 11, 2018)

Truth.com!

I think you should write a book that mocks them and contrast with someone that actually has a core, depth and talent.



luckiestdestiny said:


> When I heard the synopsis, I refused to read the book. And the movie came out with the trailer to confirm my suspicions  . I knew a part of me would die inside reading that book or seeing that film and I wanted to keep my soul intact so I said, "No thank you." to eat pray love  . It seemed like the ultimate ww/feminist story as they wander and mooch on other cultures to "fill" the void inside, coming back with an epiphany.
> 
> From what I remember, the writer herself, in an interview said that an editor cut her a check and off she went. I was like (blink) what? How many people can just call up an editor, present an idea, get a six figure check and go eat pray love, having it on someone else's dime and then spin it into a book which of course becomes a  phenomenon because ww love to do stuff like that?  Getting someone to do that means you have to have connections, that usually comes from _access_ and mostly white privilege (with some exceptions).
> And the ease with which you can do it, because you know where your rent is coming from, allows her to easily go off and Eat, Pray, Love which is something that isn't practical for most bp who have a different financial lifestyle. I remember reading about BP who are middle class, their next generation is a step away from or fall back into the poor category (which is because we don't have generations of privilege, access, and financial help).  And of course I can't hate on the story but it wasn't realistic for an every day experience nor did I think that someone in that position could realistically learn something so profound from such an inauthentic experience that exploited the experiences and wisdom of other cultures. I'm assuming there were some wise sages in there from other cultures  because that usually happens and then they go back to their lives never to think of them again or to only use them in commentary to make their lives interesting. ​
> ...


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## nysister (Nov 11, 2018)

This sums it up perfectly.



> But guess what? While she's considering _them, t_hepeople that she reads don't see_ her_ or consider_ her._And now she's screaming into the void





luckiestdestiny said:


> I feel like someone like this, she wants to pat herself on the back for being "diverse". See she doesn't "consider" others or their race when she reads their books. She doesn't see color. Kumbaya and all that.  That's fine and dandy if it were true, but I'm thinking this type of person uses it as superiority. It makes them feel good about themselves that they're one of the _only _ones doing X,Y,Z and thinking outside of the box unlike the other lost negroes out there.  While she's reaching out, and patting herself on the back for reaching out (kinda like Kanye cheering himself on for being one of the very few black people wearing Trump) she's lost the point. Sure she's considering the_ majority's_ viewpoint and breaking free of doing what other black people are doing (black writers).
> 
> But guess what? While she's considering _them, t_he people that she reads don't see_ her_ or consider_ her._ And now she's screaming into the void instead of knowing that and going for whatever reason (fulfillment, etc) while trying to understand why others may not be interested in an event that is already clearly geared and marketed to and frankly only has white women writers as the "leaders" of the event.


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## Sonnshine (Nov 20, 2018)

Chrismiss said:


> This reminds me of a dilemma I'm seeing in a black planner group I follow on fb. They are chomping at the bit to go to a predominantly white planner groups conference, while the same black planner group just had their own conference this past weekend. In fact, while the black planner group's conference was in progress, people were steady posting in the fb group about the other planner group's conference. It seemed super coonish to me, as does this.



Hi @Chrismiss

I know this is a bit off topic, but would you please share the name of the black planner group you follow on fb?
A planner conference sounds right up my street 

Thanks v much
Sonnshine


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## Chrismiss (Nov 20, 2018)

Sonnshine said:


> Hi @Chrismiss
> 
> I know this is a bit off topic, but would you please share the name of the black planner group you follow on fb?
> A planner conference sounds right up my street
> ...



It's called Black Women Who Plan and Create. They also have a website: bwwpc. com


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## Sonnshine (Nov 20, 2018)

Chrismiss said:


> It's called Black Women Who Plan and Create. They also have a website: bwwpc. com



@Chrismiss
Thank you so much


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## Sharpened (Nov 24, 2018)

FemmeCreole said:


> What an annoying article and equally annoying woman. She's pseudo complaining. She actually likes being the token special negress. Chile please.


I almost snorted cookie through my nose. That was painful...


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## doriannc (Nov 29, 2018)

I bet she will attend next year and other black wines are there she will be miffed about not being the token.


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