# are you called to marry or to remain single?



## nychaelasymone (Apr 2, 2008)

what's your take on this article...thought it was interesting.

*Is It The Will of God For Me To Marry Or Remain Single?*






_I've had individuals ask me in tears, "Brother Triplett, how can I know if God wants me to be married or remain single?" _
_Are you struggling with that question? Are you wondering if marriage is God's will for your life? _
_Would you like to get that questioned answered, once and for all? In this practical teaching, I'll help you come to understand if it is the will of God for you to marry or remain single…_
by Gillis Triplett 

*Who Should You Ask Such A Critical Question?
*Depending on who you ask, you could get a variety of answers. Some of the answers will literally take your breath away. You'll walk away from these people thinking, "Dear Lord, if I get married, I might be going against the will of God for my life!" Others will leave you dangling in a state of immense confusion.
When they are through giving you their personal opinion, or their religious or denominational viewpoint, you won't know what the Lord's will for your life is. Various ministers tell people to ask God if it is His will for them to be married. On the surface, that sounds like a super spiritual prayer, but is it? Can you find anyone in the Bible praying that prayer?
Read this Scripture in Psalm 119:89, and don't ever forget it: "For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven." There are certain issues that you don't pray about under any circumstances, nor do you seek a prophetic word, a sign, or a vision from God. What you do concerning these issues is go to the Written Word of God. Once you find out what the Lord has said, your responsibility is to get in line with His Written Word. Below is a list of a few issues the Lord has already settled with His Word.
Is it the will of God for you to be saved? Answer: (I Timothy 2:3-4)
Is it the will of God for you to pray? Answer: (Luke 18:1)
Is it the will of God for you to forgive? Answer: (Mark 11:25-26)
Is it the will of God for you to attend a church? Answer: (Hebrews 10:25)
To pray about any of the above issues would mean that you have rejected what God has already said concerning that matter. People who pray over issues God has already settled in His Word, set themselves up to be deceived and misled. The question about whether you should or should not get married has also already been settled in God's Word. Before we learn what God said about this issue, let's briefly examine some of the common ways ministers and others mislead God's flock with their man-made opinions.
*Do You Have The Gift of Marriage Or The Gift of Singleness?
*This popular teaching has been circulating in many Christian circles for years. However, it does not originate from the Written Word of God. There is no such thing in the Bible as the gift of singleness or the gift of marriage! If you have been wondering which gift you do have, I command you in the Name of Jesus, to stop it right now! 
You have neither because in the economy of God they do not exist. I realize the people espousing such doctrines are sincere; nevertheless, this teaching does not emanate from the Scriptures. It stems from the opinions, pride, fears and subverted beliefs of men. That is why you are bound under God to fully reject it, (See Acts 17:11 and Revelation 2:1-2).


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## nychaelasymone (Apr 2, 2008)

*Do You Have The Gift of Celibacy?*
This is another one of those debilitating man-made doctrines floating around in the church. This doctrine stems from what Paul said in I Corinthians 7:7, _"For I would that all man were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that."_ Various preachers read that verse and concluded that Paul was referring to some sort of a gift of celibacy. But they missed three crucial points.
(a)The definition of celibacy means: to abstain from sexual intercourse, especially by reason of religious vows. God has initiated no such vows.
(b)In verse six, Paul clearly stated that his position to remain single and his suggestion to others to follow his footsteps was not a commandment of God. Paul emphasized that he was speaking from his PERSONAL CONVICTION! You do not base such a critical decision on someone's personal convictions. I don't care if it is the Apostle Paul or the Apostle Bishop Doctor Zuma Zuma! Your decision must be based on the Written Word of God.
(c)Paul's remaining single was not a gift. Like everyone else, Paul had a sex drive and a desire for companionship. He stated emphatically that he beat his sex drive and natural passions into subjection, (See I Corinthians 9:27). If he had not beaten his body into subjection, he would have fallen into sexual sin and become a castaway like others had become! 
Certain preachers have erroneously taught that Paul had a special gift of celibacy. Paul had no such gift! What he had was an ironclad determination to beat his body into subjection so that he could focus all of his attention on serving God. To be blunt, Paul had to force himself to:
(1)Keep his eyes off of the beauty of the female gender
(2)Not think about marriage 
(3)Not think about having children or a family 
(4)Daily put a cap on his God-given sex drive, and 
(5)Daily deaden his natural desire for companionship
If you are not willing to take all five of those rigorous steps for the rest of your life, then don't deceive yourself; you are not a candidate to remain single!
*Let God Be Your Husband or Your Wife?*
I have heard many single Christians be told by well meaning ministers to allow God to be their husband or wife. To be quite frank, I don't know where this ludicrous doctrine started. All I can tell you is that it did not originate from the Written Word of God. Jesus said in John 4:24, _"God is a spirit."_ 
I cannot kiss a spirit. I cannot make love to a spirit. I cannot hold a spirit's hand. I cannot run my hands through a spirit's hair. Are you following me? 
A spirit cannot rub my back, eat breakfast with me, hold me or give birth to my children. Only a live flesh and blood wife can do those things. 
God can no more be your husband or your wife, anymore than He can be your postman or your auto mechanic! When you hear people make such ridiculous statements, mark them as spiritually unlearned, and go on about your business. 
*Did God Call You To Be a Eunuch?*
In times past, certain cultures would castrate men and place those males as guards over their harems. Since they were emasculated, this guaranteed that the men would not make sexual advances toward the females in the harem. These men were called eunuchs. In Matthew 19:12, Jesus revealed three classes of eunuchs:
(1)Those who are born eunuchs. People from this group are born impotent or with birth defects and with other deformities that prevents them from having sexual intercourse. Also included in this group are the male babies who were ordered castrated by their parents for religious purposes. 
(2)Men who were castrated. People in this group include the individuals who had an accident, operation or physical attack that prevents them from having sexual intercourse. It also includes people who were ordered castrated by a court and those who engaged in self-mutilation.
(3)The people who made a decision to become a eunuch. These individuals have decided, on their own, to forgo marriage for various reasons. 
You have to go on spiritual high alert when you hear people claim God told them to remain single. Especially when these men and women cheerfully attempt to persuade others to follow them in their singleness. I have sat down with many of these individuals and what I have uncovered is this. They decided to remain single, not because God commanded them, but primarily because of one or more of these reasons or problems:

They have a fear of marriage 
They lost hope in finding a mate
They have a fear of the unknown
They have physical problems
They fear the opposite sex 
They are spiritually immature 
They fear raising children
They'd rather chase career ambitions
They have a fear of trusting others 
No one could ever live with them 
They have low self-esteem 
They don't want to be bothered with kids
Their secret sins might surface
They have a fear of getting a divorce

They contracted the HIV/AIDS virus
They have contracted some other STD
They have a fear of failure 
They have emotional problems 
They are bitter toward the opposite sex 
No human can meet their expectations 
They have a fear of commitment 
They'd rather chase career ambitions 
They have a cantankerous attitude 
They have lost hope in marriage 
They don't want to be bothered with kids
I sat down and listened to a well-known unmarried minister who preaches the gift of singleness with zeal and a passion! As he began to talk, the real reason why he was single came to the surface.
For some undisclosed reason, he was ashamed of his physical appearance!


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## nychaelasymone (Apr 2, 2008)

I couldn't copy the remiaining portion of the article but the entire article can be found on this link....

http://www.gillistriplett.com/rel101/articles/will.html

I've never heard of this man.......


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## Bunny77 (Apr 2, 2008)

I got this article saved in my favorites because it's one of the best answers I've ever heard to the question!


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## janiebaby (Apr 2, 2008)




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## sithembile (Apr 3, 2008)

Interesting article, I agree with him.


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## shalom (Apr 3, 2008)

Great article


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## HeChangedMyName (Apr 12, 2008)

I agree those gifts are not specifically named anywhere in the Bible.  I do however feel that it is meant for me to be married, not so much because I want to but because I started praying for my husband about a year ago, not praying for him to come, but praying for him, whoever he is, right now in his present condition and situation.  I have been praying for him to grow closer to God so God can show me to him.  
After nearly a year of praying, I am actually beginning to feel for someone whom I don't know.  I know that might sound weird, but I want to pray for my future husband's well being.  I want to know that he is right with God.  It is as though there is someone out there that I am linked to but that I've never met.  

I believe if I could see him today, I would already be in love with him.  Crazy, but hey, I've been praying. and submitting myself daily to God.  So, I guess he is reassuring me that there is someone for me.


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## discobiscuits (Apr 12, 2008)

*nychaelasymone**, thank you for posting this.

I like this article. I will have to share it with others. It reminds me of this sermon: 



[FONT=arial,verdana,helvetica]Series: So You Want To Get Married Pastor Paul Sheppard
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/Enduring_Truth/archives.asp?bcd=2/21/2008
[/FONT][FONT=arial,verdana,helvetica] Practical lessons single women can learn from Ruth; practical lessons single men can learn from Boaz (based on Ruth 3)[/FONT]

Click to expand...


In my opinion. No one is called to be married (or unmarried) both are choices left up to the individual. Paul was clear on this in his teachings (1Cor ch.7). Even Adam was in the garden minding his business naming animals and God decided that there was not a suitable helper for Adam (Gen 2:20) so God made one for him and even after Eve was presented to Adam, he still had the choice to accept her as his wife or not.

*


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## cocoberry10 (Apr 13, 2008)

jenniferohjenny said:


> *In my opinion. No one is called to be married (or unmarried) both are choices left up to the individual. Paul was clear on this in his teachings (1Cor ch.7). Even Adam was in the garden minding his business naming animals and God decided that there was not a suitable helper for Adam (Gen 2:20) so God made one for him and even after Eve was presented to Adam, he still had the choice to accept her as his wife or not.*


I agree with you jenniferohjenny!  Also, nychaelasymone, thank you for posting this.

*OT: As I asked in the thread (link below), do you ladies think God specifically intends for us to marry someone, or do you think we also have a choice about that?*


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## Reminiscing (Oct 29, 2009)

HeChangedMyName said:


> I agree those gifts are not specifically named anywhere in the Bible.  I do however feel that it is meant for me to be married, not so much because I want to but because I started praying for my husband about a year ago, not praying for him to come, but praying for him, whoever he is, right now in his present condition and situation.  I have been praying for him to grow closer to God so God can show me to him.
> After nearly a year of praying, I am actually beginning to feel for someone whom I don't know.  I know that might sound weird, but I want to pray for my future husband's well being.  I want to know that he is right with God.  It is as though there is someone out there that I am linked to but that I've never met.
> 
> I believe if I could see him today, I would already be in love with him.  Crazy, but hey, I've been praying. and submitting myself daily to God.  So, I guess he is reassuring me that there is someone for me.



I was flipping through old threads today and I stumbled across this thread.  This article is wonderfully written and it has answered so many questions in my mind about marriage and singlessness.

But I want to say a special thank you to HeChangedMyName for your post.  I do not think you're crazy at all because I feel like I'm already in love with my husband too and I haven't even met him yet.  Nor am I pressing God to hurry up and let me meet him.  I've finally stopped putting a time limit on God and now I'm patiently waiting for him to fulfill what He has for me.  But, I never thought about praying for my husband in his present state as you so beautifully wrote it.  Thank you for opening my eyes to this.  I believe that praying for his well being in advance will make your meeting even more blessed.  I will start praying for my husband's well being tonight.


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## SND411 (Oct 29, 2009)

I do not like this article


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## SND411 (Oct 29, 2009)

I'm about to rip this article to shreds lol


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## Bunny77 (Oct 29, 2009)

AfriPrincess411 said:


> I'm about to rip this article to shreds lol



Why don't you like it? Do share! I'm really interested in knowing why!


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## LifeafterLHCF (Oct 29, 2009)

I love God..he is awesome...off my soap box.


I feel this article really takes some spritual maturity to take it..like nasty nyquil...but it will make you feel better later..This article speaks to my situation..Im 23 fluffy in school after my 2nd degree and I haven't dated anyone or anything in about 4 years.I feel often that maybe Im just so un attractive that men just wouldn't talk to me even the uncute ones.But after reading this article I see my issues about marriage..I have always been I will never marry bc I want my career,no kids,I don't trust people and I don't find myself worth enough to get the man of my dreams..I will allow God in on those areas of my life so that  I can be like some of you mature women of God who are already praying for their kings...


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## aribell (Oct 29, 2009)

I think like anything else, each individual Christian has his or her own path to best follow the Lord, and for some people that will be the single, celibate life.  I think that God gives us grace to fulfill whatever He has called us to, so whether it's called a "gift of singleness" or a "gift of marriage," if He seeks to work through you in that state, He will be present to you to enable you to persevere therein.


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## SND411 (Oct 29, 2009)

Bunny77 said:


> Why don't you like it? Do share! I'm really interested in knowing why!



I will state my rebuttal soon.


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## Prudent1 (Oct 30, 2009)

I read the article and I enjoyed it. I also read some of his other articles. I've never heard of him before you posted this either. Thanks for sharing.

*Reminiscing,*
Here is a link to a prayer for your future husband.
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=182815


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## Reminiscing (Oct 30, 2009)

Prudent1 said:


> I read the article and I enjoyed it. I also read some of his other articles. I've never heard of him before you posted this either. Thanks for sharing.
> 
> *Reminiscing,*
> Here is a link to a prayer for your future husband.
> http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=182815




Thanks for the link Prudent!


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## sidney (Oct 31, 2009)

I liked the article but I'm unsure if anyone is "called", but it seems that we have the "option" of marriage if we so choose.  JMO


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## nathansgirl1908 (Nov 29, 2009)

I like the article, but I don't agree with the reasons listed for people who want to remain single.  

Right now, I don't know if I ever want to get married.  I'm really content being single.  I can go and come as I please, and enjoy myself.  I was in love with someone, and I thought I was going to marry him.  We fell out and for a short time I was devastated, but then as I started getting myself together, I realized how much I was enjoying the single life. 

And while I don't fear divorce, because of some things I have seen this year in my friends' marriages, I'm starting to think marriage isn't all it is "cracked up to be."  I noticed that I am far happier than my married friends.  One such friend used to always make comments bout how she felt sorry for me because I didn't have a husband.  I would just smile and tell her that I was fine.  Now she looks at me and is like, "wow.  You're more lucky then you realize.  I wish I had waited instead of getting married."  And she isn't the only one saying that. 

And while I DON'T want kids (and I know that was on the list), the fact of the matter is that a marriage isn't entirely about kids.  I think you can have a fulfilling marriage even if you don't have or want kids.


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## sidney (Nov 29, 2009)

nathansgirl1908 said:


> I like the article, but I don't agree with the reasons listed for people who want to remain single.
> 
> Right now, I don't know if I ever want to get married. I'm really content being single. I can go and come as I please, and enjoy myself. I was in love with someone, and I thought I was going to marry him. We fell out and for a short time I was devastated, but then as I started getting myself together, I realized how much I was enjoying the single life.
> 
> ...


 
The bible calls marriage an honor (Hebrews 13:4).  The relationship between a man and a woman is a beautiful reflection of Christ's love for his bride (the church).  I believe marriage is a way to make to people become more like Christ, by serving the other first.  If two people come into the union seeking to serve the other person it can be a beautiful union that blesses many people including the couple involved.  Don't count marriage out just yet and don't be discouraged by your friends...some just aren't doing it right.  

Sid


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## Supergirl (Dec 2, 2009)

OP, Amen and thank you!

I have always felt that if a Christian has the desire to be married, then God will bless them in this area.


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