# LHCF 'SET BACK' PREVENTION 101



## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

Figured it would be good to have a thread where there is nothing but tips for prevention of both major and minor set backs.  Set backs are heart breaking.  So Ladies, share your wealth of wisdom/knowledge and Experience on what would possibly prevent a set back for another in this thread.  It doesn't matter if its Relaxed Hair, Natural Hair and It's not about hair type either, I want ALL to post. Please simply post anything that would possibly prevent a set back for someone else. If you should happen to feel the particular 'set back' you are speaking of would only apply to or be under certain conditions such as 'relaxed or natural' hair then feel free to specify that with your post as well. Every post matters and every post is worth thinking about/ and taking into consideration, no matter how small the set back may be.  Set Backs are hard , So let's work to minimize them. 

Prevention is a good thing  Maybe with this thread some beautiful heads of hair can be saved and heart's spared total heart break over lost progress

signed

Captain save a head


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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

when bored with your hair and/or frustrated, or if your going through something stressful in your life , be careful to not take out life and your emotions out on your hair,  when feeling that ansy feeling to do something drastic,  try to sit it out for as long as you can-most times it passes anyway and you will be glad you did 

will add more here later


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## [email protected]@ (Nov 24, 2009)

Good idea
My setbacks (I've only had minor ones) came from bandwagons and more experimenting than necessary. Specifically upping protein to every other week when it was completely unnecessary.
_Stick to what works for you_. Tweak your regimen _as needed_ Radical changes can cause alot of hair issues. I believe this goes for the relaxed _and_ natural.


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## MummysGirl (Nov 24, 2009)

Protect your already relaxed ends while getting a touch up! Use oil or conditioner. My December '08 setback was caused by NOT doing this.


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## Truth (Nov 24, 2009)

This is gonna be a great thread..let me go ahead and subscribe now.... Dont really have a prevention tip right now,however I do have a mental tip if there is a setback*Recognize it's a set back ,but dont be defeated by it.* Im already in the mindset of when I take these braids outs, I'm gonna experience a SERIOUS set back, and Yes I am feeling some type of way, however..It's all apart of trial and error ,growth and understanding what makes and breaks my hair.  So if there are set backs, dont get discouraged, mark it down in the books and DONT DO IT AGAINNNN!!!  okay... let me get my notepad ready...


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## Ganjababy (Nov 24, 2009)

*Prevention is better than cure*-
For people who are susceptible to anemia make sure you check your HB regularly and take regular essential supplements and nutrients. Always investigate excessive hair shedding, find the root cause. Get your ferritin levels checked also because your HB may be within an acceptable range due to compensatory mechanisms but your ferritin levels may be low and you could still be anemic. 
Evsbaby

*Hair Loss and Anemia*
Hair loss often signals a variety of medical problems.

There are three types of anemia concerned with hair loss
Iron deficiency Anemia
The most common form of anemia is iron deficiency anemia. Iron deficiency is believed to be relatively common of telogen effluvium type of hair loss. It is suggested that women in particular are susceptible to iron deficiency due to the regular loss of iron rich blood during menstruation.

Chronic iron deficiency
Symptoms
•Rapid hair loss
•Weight loss
•Pale appearance
•Spoon shaped nails
•Depression
•Change of hair color to a lighter shade
•Excessive dryness of hair
Causes
•Vitamin C deficiency , which can also lead to an iron deficiency
•Heavy consumption of caffeine rich tea and coffee since caffeine reduces the net availability of iron supplied through food.
•Alcohol abuse also reduces the availability of iron in the body .Even slightly low levels of iron can cause diffuse hair loss.
Sources
•Rice, bread, broccoli and beans.
•Vitamin C is required for good absorption.
Anemia due to copper deficiency, known as copper deficiency anemia

Copper besides acting as catalyst in oxidation of hydrogen and the formation of melanin (the pigment that gives hair its color), is also needed to release iron stored in liver, for intestinal absorption of iron into the hemoglobin.

Sources
Mushrooms, grains, nuts, beans.

Pernicious Anemia
Anemia due to deficiency of Vitamin B12, known as Pernicious Anemia This is less common, generally affects people over 40 and results due to Vitamin B12 deficiency.

Symptoms:
•Rapid hair loss
•Weight loss
•Change of hair color
•Dryness of hair
•Sore tongue
•Nosebleeds
•Loss of appetite
•Weight loss and diffuse hair loss
Sources
•Dairy products
•Yeast extracts
Also if you feel that the texture of your hair has changed and if you feel excessive hair fall do consult a Trichologist.
http://www.beautyassist.com/hair_loss.html


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

Thanks *Iris* for a much needed thread. Good on ya *Captn-Save-A-Head!* 

*1. *Read (yes read and search before asking the same question ad nauseum) and then reject 99% of what you find here and at other websites.

*2.* If they post pics of their hair and they ain't got none, yet are giving advice on growing long hair........* run!!!!* Taking their advice is like asking someone who only speaks English to translate arachic French. Bad idea. Some of the advice is delibrately search and destroy on other's progress! Don't take long hair advice from people w/ hair shorter than yourself.

*3.* If they use 50-11 products and 37 steps to fix their hair *run*

*4.* Conditioners don't cure every problem...sometimes they create problems

*5.* Protein can make even more problems

*6.* If your desparation for long hair makes you buy from tack shops and chemical supply firms....back away from the computer, CC, and Pay Pal. Healthy humans need no such things.

*7.* Spending $100s for an item that you can get for $10s cuz other folks do is a recipe for disaster. It won't work in your home like it does in the salon.

*8.* If you want permanently straight hair, get a relaxer and learn to care for it

*9.* Don't go natural thinking it's the key to long hair. It ain't. How many natural loose longhairs do you see IRL?

*10.* Accept your texture and quit doing drastic things to make it look like another texture. 50-11 products and tons of manipulation will NOT give you the hair you seek. *Dump a pound of anything on your noggin and it'll rebel.*

Summation...*tho common sense ain't common, spend more to buy a clue than the latest miracle product!*


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## Chaosbutterfly (Nov 24, 2009)

Don't lie to yourself about your hair's limits.
If you know that your hair hates glycerin, don't buy that glycerin-rich moisturizer and tell yourself that it'll be okay, just because you heard rave reviews about it. It's okay to put it down and walk away.

If you know that your hair hates heat, don't flat iron on 400 degrees because it gives Mary beautiful results. 

It only takes one bad product/styling choice to give you a setback, and I learned that the hard way.


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## sheba1 (Nov 24, 2009)

When removing a sew-in or extensions when your hair will be braided for an extended period of time, always always fully detangle and remove all shed hair before washing.


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## Bene (Nov 24, 2009)

I haven't had any setbacks since I've decided to grow long. I've been pretty lucky, but I'm also proud of my way of approaching new things.


- Research, research, research. And then, research some more. Read from every source you can find. By the time I use a product or technique, I'm an expert on the details of what it does, how it works, how often or how little I should use or do something. I don't try something only to have to run to someone for advice on what it does, I should already know in advance what sorts of reactions or side effects are to be expected.

- Even if someone's texture is the opposite of mine, I'm reading what they have to say, because scalp and skin reactions have nothing to do with someone's texture. I'm a 3A, but I'm reading everything ANYONE has to say about whatever product or technique I'm interested in, I don't care if they're 1A or 4B. If someone broke out in weeping sores, I want to know about it. I never disregard because someone has straight fine hair or kinky coils. If it had a negative effect on human being, it's relevant. If it worked for a human being, that's also relevant.

- I realize that people have bad measuring techniques, bad camera techniques and overactive imaginations. If someone says something made their hair grow an inch in 2 weeks, I want to know what chemical or product they used and it has got to make sense to me. Likewise, I don't recommend ANYTHING unless I've tried it for at least 3-4 months and I have measured a couple of times and I have pictures to show for it.

- At the risk of contradicting myself, experimentation and willingness to try new things are crucial. If I weren't willing to check new things out, I would never have learned that my scalp doesn't like cones, that ACV makes my hair look shiny and smooth, that grapeseed oil keeps my frizz under control, or that brushing when wet doesn't work for me. I've had to keep an open mind about lots of things and at the same time, I've backed all of my curiosities and interests with tons of research.


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

sheba1 said:


> When removing a sew-in or extensions when your hair will be braided for an extended period of time, always always fully detangle and remove all shed hair before washing.


 
This is *HUGE*. If you're gonna get a weave, learn fully how to take care of your hair in all stages. If you don't, you can simply rip the hair out of your scalp and/or end up w/ unintentional dreads. This mistake has sunk many people....famously one on YouTube!


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## Ozma (Nov 24, 2009)

Subscribing! Thanks, Iris. 

I have no tips; I'm just here to observe and learn.


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

Ain't no such ting as a "natural relaxer"...period! Henna, coconut-lime, Copa, and hope will NOT make your hair straight. Many of these things will simply dry you hair and and make it break off. 

Henna, tho a wonderful thing, can be abused which will result in dry and breaking hair.

Acids (ie vinegar, citrus juices, coffee/tea) if used at all on African textures, should be used very rarely and extremely diluted. The same goes for alkaliods (ie baking soda)...these things are the extreme ends of the Ph scale and are corrosive. Recall HS science!


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## Bene (Nov 24, 2009)

If you're self trimming, get yourself a pair of hair scissors. And then set them aside just for your hair. Hide them from the rest of your household if you have to. Cutting something as innocent as paper can alter your scissors at a microscopic level and you end up doing more damage than you started with on every trim.


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## lana (Nov 24, 2009)

If years ago you had relaxed hair and tried some permanent streaks for a "new look" and each streak broke off right at the root....now it's healthy and...then years later you have natural hair and you figure "Now my hair can hold color" um...*don't try it*. It happened to me (lol) and I paid the price with stunted hair growth for a year and yes of course....breakage! And this was done by a professional color technician both times. 

If you have tried a rinse to color your gray hair and you're now texlaxed and just too young to have any gray showing...but the rinse and texlax seemed to dry your gray patch out and you had to be extra careful and deep condition that patch so it wouldn't break...don't try the same rinse again just because someone on another thread swears by it for their gray hair! (I didn't fall for this, but I almost did cause their review was soooo good). 

If you are natural and you want silky straight hair without any chemical dependancy and you KNOW, you absolutely *KNOW* that _a pressing comb _causes you no end of breakage all up and through....stop using the pressing comb and switch to a ceramic, tourmaline flat iron and stop blow drying so much, rollerset. (I know now!) Or better yet, texlax so that you can wear your hair straight 90% of the time without so much heat. (Like I did, thank you for telling me about Texlaxing LHCF!)

Lastly, if your ends are dry, do not, I repeat, do not go on a "No cutting until 2050-11 challenge ...because that's just going to cause more dry ends and more frizzy ends and you'll think, it's okay I'm wearing it in a bun, no one can see but me. Until you take it down one day in the car at lunch while trying to see your FRAZZLED ends in the car mirror and you go home and try to flat iron it and you end up looking like Medusa on Crack!  AND trimming off serious inches of hair that should have been trimmed 9 months ago. Yup, don't do this.

Also, if you're like me and needed to find the perfect routine for your hair. Don't listen to the people that don't have your hair texture and difficulties and suggest that you co-wash your natural or texlaxed hair or even wash and go....*I *can't wash n go with this hair from Africa! From the MOTHER LAND and look cute. Okay!  Now I have tried, so I don't want to hear it...okay off topic. (lol) Don't listen if they say hey try washing only once a month..um, have you ever tried to detangle a BRILLO pad after 15-30 days in a bun....Okay then! Stop while you're ahead.  Cause if you don't your husband will look at you while you're taking down your bun in the mirror and wonder aloud why you decided to go with DRED LOCKS and not tell him! Cause that's what I ended up with! Dredlocks at the roots and hours spent detangling. Yeah...

I had so much fun writing this, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. I was laughing out loud through most of it. But it's true! And it happened to me over the course of the last several years doing all things hair - myself (besides permanent color of course!)


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## Bene (Nov 24, 2009)

Don't try something you've never done before for a special occasion. If you do any experimenting with washing/drying techniques, do it on the night before a day off when you don't have to be anywhere  If something goes wrong on the night before a special event, desperation will have you stalking your local drugstore for a quick fix and you'll end up with a massive setback. On the other hand, if you don't have pressure to look nice, you give yourself time to calm down, re-assess the situation, and look for a way to fix the problem without causing more damage.


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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

You ladies .....are just great

I'm so sleepy, but will be back to post on that first post later

keep them coming ladies! 

But just 1 here before I go

Going from a Relaxer to natural hair for 'healthier hair'  but regularly heat styling can quite possibly take away from your healthy hair and progress, it works for some and not other's keep that in mind when you see it working for another-does not mean it will for you

well 2

Things like ACV , Baking soda and clarifying/chelating Shampoo's can be very stripping of ALL your hair's moisture and cause your hair to literally mat up and tangle feircly if not used carefully and properly , make sure you are using proper proportions if you want to try it (Research) and try it on only a section of your hair first if its your first time-better to fix a small section of your hair-than to have to save your whole head of hair in a disaster of stripped/matted hair

*added some to that first post, will be adding more later*


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

Get outta all this Andre texture nonsense. You're judging this stuff from pics off the 'net taken w/ varing levels of skill! I think this has damaged more heads on Black hair sites than will ever admit it. 

Just cuz "Sally's" hair looks like yours in a pic you see posted somewhere, doesn't mean it feels or reacts like yours. Trying her routine unedited on your head may have you sweeping it up off the floor. You don't even know if "Sally's" hair is actually growing from her scalp or or if that's actually "Sally" in the pic. Use some discretion.

If a product didn't work for you, esp is some major way, don't hesitate to share your experiences for fear others might not like it. If they don't, tuff. You might be saving another person from unneccessary grief and pain.


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

Herbs punish arrogance. Don't play around w/ herbs if you don't have a full understanding of what it does and why you're using it. Quantities matter here *BIG TIME*...internally and/or externally. Like henna, herbs can be a wonderful thing, but they are extremely powerful. Unlike a commercial product, when herbs go wrong scissors may be your ONLY solution!


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## Bene (Nov 24, 2009)

If your hair likes it, but your scalp hates it, stop doing it. In the long run, unhappy scalp = setback.


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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

Protein, protein , protein

Do not overdo protein,  best to do less than more, start out slow to see how your hair reacts , and keep it to a minimal only using for 'necessity'  follow instructions on the product and tread lightly.  Protein overload is a monster set back to come back from-with great risk of losing all your hair possibly. Again Tread lightly. and Research research research


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## Neith (Nov 24, 2009)

Get those damaged ends off before the damage gets worse!

I had a mini setback this year, but I really think I saved myself from a bigger setback by trimming my ends.


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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

If it seems to good to be true-it probably is! 

Taking a moment to think things through thoroughly and applying some common sense to the situation instead of moving on raves or rash thinking pays off! 

If what your doing is working and someone is raving about something new

if it aint broke......

(This concerns anything that involves taking risks that could possibly lead to a known set back)

not something simple such as trying a new oil or leave in etc

if you cant rationalize a good reason for taking a risk for a set back, and you should never be able to rationalize it anyway, sit back, chill and relax, keep doing what's working for you and stay where the water is safe LOL


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## Highly Favored8 (Nov 24, 2009)

I have had many setbacks b/c I wanted to jump on the band wagons to grow my hair so fast.

I have learned on this hair growth journey " A set back is time for a comeback"


The keys to not/no longer having a set back is 

1. If you stretch your relaxers/ touch ups- look at the shape of your hair as time goes on. If at 6, 8,12,16, and so on you see that your hair is not feeling you going past a point which for me is around week 16- it is time for me to relax.  I went all the way to 26 weeks this past March and I can tell you that my hair broke off and we down hill from there. 

So, know your stretch limits on relaxed/touched up hair.


2. Very important IMHO- is your hair type. Just b/c some one with type 4 b hair can use one product does not mean type 3 b/c can take or handle and vice versa on this. This has helped me a lot in knowing my hair type.


3. Consistency- if you are taking vita./supp. for hair growth and it is helping you and your hair- not making you feel sick or any negative adverse affects then keep taking them. Do not take them for 6 months then stop. This has happened too me and has hurted my hair when I was stretching for 6 months. Also, do not over do it on the Vita. Supplements. If the bottle says only 2 for one day then take only two please do not over do it.

4. If your are into protective styling then- know which styles work for your hair and keep them consistently. If you can do buns then do a weave the next day and take out the weave that same day( Yes, ladies I have seen this happen). I am like you just wasted your hard earned money. Know what styles work best for your hair.


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

When it comes to *stretching a perm or transitioning*, you need to find very good detangling products/leave ins. The "line of demarcation" is no joke, so if this is your approach, you're gonna have to find something that makes it easier to deal w/ two textures.

Then there's *clarifying shampoos*....they shouldn't be necessary for your average person UNLESS you're dumping tons of product on your head multi times a day. These things are very stripping and should be used only "as needed" if at all. If someone suggests that you use a clarifying product, try cutting down on what you normally put in you hair and see what happens before you use one.

If you use some sort of *speciality product* like Roux's Porosity Control, Ovation Cell Therapy, or Aphogee Two Step and most of their line, *follow the directions to the letter*! These products have very little margin for "improv". They're formulated for very specific purposes and to work w/in a set amount of time. Thinking "a little longer" will make it that much better....

*If you're a natural and your hair frequently dreds/knots up on you*, maybe your hair is trynna tell you something! You'll probably get a better head of hair if you just let it do what it wants to rather than forcing it to what you want it to do.


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## Chaosbutterfly (Nov 24, 2009)

lana said:


> Lastly, if your ends are dry, do not, I repeat, do not go on a "No cutting until 2050-11 challenge ...because that's just going to cause more dry ends and more frizzy ends and you'll think, it's okay I'm wearing it in a bun, no one can see but me. Until you take it down one day in the car at lunch while trying to see your FRAZZLED ends in the car mirror and you go home and try to flat iron it and you end up looking like Medusa on Crack!  AND trimming off serious inches of hair that should have been trimmed 9 months ago. Yup, don't do this.



 In the same vein, if your ends are rough feeling, don't grab the scissors and start hacking away, because you can lose months of progress this way for no reason at all. At least make an effort to save them. Sometimes, it's surprising how much hair you can save.
But once again, don't lie to yourself. When it's time to let go, let go. 


 Oh yeah!
 And beware the stylists.
 Request to face the mirror at all times, be alert, monitor them closely when they trim, ask them to hold your hair up during the trim (don't let them disappear below your line of vision) and don't let them detangle your hair with a rattail comb. (It's their favorite thing to do...) Don't be afraid to speak up. It's your money and your hair!


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## me-T (Nov 24, 2009)

if you're doin somethin in your regimen that your hair likes, stay consistent! don't try other regimens just because you see it workin for someone else-same texture or not!


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

Not all stylists are *de Debil*...look at their hair and that of some of their clients. If you see "issues"...pass. If they send off vibes and 'tude you dislike, pass. There ARE good ones out there and they deserve biz!

Naturals need to know 3 basic things before sitting in the chair....do they know anything about natural hair AT ALL from practical experience? Do they understand the concept of "dusting"? Do they know how to "dust" natural hair? *If you don't trust them to straighten it before you get your "dusting", do it yourself. DO NOT sit down w/ your hair in it's shrunken state. NEVER wet cut/dust...only dust on dry straightened hair, bone straight! You'll lose INCHES very easily unless your hair is as straight as you can get it!*


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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

if you do have a set back and come to the board

and your hair is dry and very tangled, do not listen to anyone telling you to clarify or do a protein treatment,  first things first, you need to work out the tangles and get rid of the dryness, both of those things while already in a set back will probably not make anything better, not with dry tangled hair 

moisturizing conditioner and oils are the answer, do not do anything to strip the hair or make it stronger while its in that condition-you will go from set back to total disaster


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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

Naturals , detangling REQUIRES both Time and Patience

be sure you have both and understand it's work but worth it in the big picture.  Dont Rush through it , take your time, set aside time, find products that work well for you to detangle with and ALWAYS detangle before washing/rinsing/cowashing


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

^^^ Protein treatments as a "stop loss" measure is only good for breakage problems that come from some chemical thing gone wrong, IMHO. Let's say you used a perm color and it's breaking, that's what it was created for. It's NOT for shedding!!!!!

On natural hair, weave/braid take downs, and/or after using henna....this is a recipe for disaster. I only recommend protein (Ap. Two Step) for relaxed or color treated in these circumstances.

These things can be used on natural hair BUT not for "stop loss" IMHO.

Breakage and shedding are two diff things.


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> Naturals , detangling REQUIRES both Time and Patience
> 
> be sure you have both and understand it's work but worth it in the big picture. Dont Rush through it , take your time, set aside time, find products that work well for you to detangle with and ALWAYS detangle before washing/rinsing/cowashing


 
AMEN....trying to do it while wet is asking for breakage. While I don't recommend this to others per se, I always dry comb out my sheds. The more I eliminate BEFORE wetting it, the easier it is when wet. I rarely get tangles anyway given how I wear my hair, but getting rid of sheds is crucial to avoiding them while wet.

*A good combs, seamless and preferably a bone comb, makes the whole process of washing and conditioning  a breeze.*


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## halee_J (Nov 24, 2009)




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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

ladies if you are on any form of Birth control , it depletes your B vitamins

and this could really cause both hair and health problems

Take a balanced B complex daily


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

*Braids as growth aids* have far less a margin of error than you might think. *Not only can they kill your nape and edges, they can simply pull your hair out all over, by the roots. This can end up being permanent hair loss (ie traction alopecia). *They must be well cared for and shouldn't stay in too long, esp if you're using extensions in addition to your own hair. If you're using other hair, you MUST research the hair and prepare it before putting it in. It can literally cut your real hair off and/or the chemicals it's treated w/ can cause irritation. Commerical hair, synth or human, is chemically treated...don't forget this.

*Under no circumstaces let ANYONE put an open flame near your head. *

Braids that are done too tightly are a known hazard. If you find after they're done and "settled" a bit your head is on fire....take them out. You can rebraid them yourself or just call it a day. You spent $$$$$$$ to grow your hair out and let it "rest", so do you really want it literally yanked out of your scalp or your hair being damaged because of something avoidable?

Leaving them in for months w/o disturbing them presents other problems....dreds and matting. If you want to leave them in for an extended amount of time, take them loose and replait them every so often. Matting and dreads will take out far more hair than need happen.


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## spinspinshuga (Nov 24, 2009)

I know many people will disagree with me. But put. the. flat. iron. down.

I thought my hair was "thriving" on direct heat. I was rollersetting for the longest time, then stopped and began flat ironing again...and my hair is a mess because of it. I've been having to trim almost monthly, and have lost about four inches this year.

Don't do this to yourself. Please just rollerset your hair, and if you have to use direct heat, use it sparingly.


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## BklynHeart (Nov 24, 2009)

From my experience- just because you're natural doesn't mean your hair will like oils and moisturizers. My hair likes proteins and reconstructors the same as when I was relaxed. I started using more moisturizers and my hair started thinning and breaking.


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## halee_J (Nov 24, 2009)

Never.Ever.Ever. flat iron your hair when its wet or damp. You will boil your hair! Blowdry on cool or rollerset/wrap with a hood dryer or airdry first. I bought one of those 'wet to dry' flat irons when I first joined and ended up with mid-shaft splits  (like the last one in the picture)






I ended up with some splits that were almost 3'' long. I had cut so much of my hair .


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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> AMEN....trying to do it while wet is asking for breakage. While I don't recommend this to others per se, I always dry comb out my sheds. The more I eliminate BEFORE wetting it, the easier it is when wet. I rarely get tangles anyway given how I wear my hair, but getting rid of sheds is crucial to avoiding them while wet.
> 
> *A good combs, seamless and preferably a bone comb, makes the whole process of washing and conditioning  a breeze.*


I on the other hand only detangle wet.  So I guess this is a case of finding what works best

the wetness, is usually a conditioner as a detangler,  fully detangled with it before my hair hits the water

I do agree with you on getting those sheds out , I do this between doing my hair by finger separating it with oil and pulling out the loose hairs

oh and I use a K cutter-my hair's life saver


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## MoniintheMiddle (Nov 24, 2009)

Like someone else said, if your reggie is working, don't switch to someone else's because their hair is BSL/WL...your hair will thrive with your own reggie

Prepoo...if you are an avid protective styler, prepooing is a great way to detangle and save you the heartache from tangles and knots

Heat...using heat is ok if you use in moderation and use it accurately....research in how to properly blowdry, flatiron, etc

Products...I may get a lot of heat for this one but you don't need the most expensive product on the market to make your hair healthy....sometime things in your kitchen will do wonders (mayo and evoo in particular)

Moisturize...this should be done daily...dry hair leads to breakage

Once you reach your hair goals, don't stop caring for it


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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

halee_J said:


> Never.Ever.Ever. flat iron your hair when its wet or damp. You will boil your hair! Blowdry on cool or rollerset/wrap with a hood dryer or airdry first. I bought one of those 'wet to dry' flat irons when I first joined and ended up with mid-shaft splits  I ended up with some splits that were almost 3'' long. I had cut so much of my hair .


I dont do wet to dry flat iron but I do wet to dry pressing with no issues or damage

Cant speak for those flat irons myself tho......so this is good , all this various info , even if it seems conflicting, it still gives others more information to make a choice , and risky is risky

I do agree that if it's risky its better left alone,  I cant promote anyone doing what I do, I can only show it works for me with no problems.  I do it to avoid blow drying,  which was worse on my hair than the wet to dry presssing

eta , I also rarely press.......so,  cant say my technique is totally safe when done frequently at all


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## LongTimeComing (Nov 24, 2009)

Bandwagons are expensive and unneccesary. Wait a couple of months and watch the other's progress before jumping in.


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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> *Braids as growth aids* have far less a margin of error than you might think. *Not only can they kill your nape and edges, they can simply pull your hair out all over, by the roots. This can end up being permanent hair loss (ie traction alopecia). *They must be well cared for and shouldn't stay in too long, esp if you're using extensions in addition to your own hair. If you're using other hair, you MUST research the hair and prepare it before putting it in. It can literally cut your real hair off and/or the chemicals it's treated w/ can cause irritation. Commerical hair, synth or human, is chemically treated...don't forget this.
> 
> *Under no circumstaces let ANYONE put an open flame near your head. *
> 
> ...


*Under no circumstaces let ANYONE put an open flame near your head. 

lord the memories!!!
*


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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

msdr said:


> Bandwagons are expensive and unneccesary. Wait a couple of months and watch the other's progress before jumping in.


sitting back chilling in the cut just might save your head


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## MilkChocolateOne (Nov 24, 2009)

Do what works for you, stop trying to use the board to validate you regimen.  Don't change a regimen that is obviously working for you just because certain people on lhcf disagree with it. For example, if "moisturizing" with oil/serum/butters work for you then continue to do that.  Don't try to force your hair to like water based moisturizers and you know your hair doesn't like it.


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## Computer Blue (Nov 24, 2009)

While I agree with the potential damage from direct heat, it is important to know your personal heat tolerance. If you are seeking 400 degree+ irons just to get your hair straight then yeah, you may want to watch it. Just because someone uses heat doesn't make them automatically doomed to heat trained hair,nor are they automatically immune to it. It's all about technique and tolerance. Start with the lowest possible temperature and go from there.Choose a flat iron constructed of the best materials i.e.tourmaline. It may take more heat than your hair can tolerate to get the look you are seeking. 

I grew up getting old school presses not constantly, but my beautician was surgical with the  pressing comb-had been doing hair since at least the 50s and did my mom,grandmas and great aunt's hair.How many people doing hair today can truly say today they have that kind of experience? She by instinct knew how long to let that comb sit before using it. I never had heat trained hair- it snapped back with shampoo- no straight pieces,ever. My hair is fine, but said to be able to "take heat".  Now my paternal grandma did burn a patch of my bangs out once. It turned blonde then disintegrated. All we could do was laugh!   You gotta know your own hair and *stay within your hair's personal lane* *IMO*


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

TRANZ4LAST said:


> While I agree with the potential damage from direct heat, it is important to know your personal heat tolerance. If you are seeking 400 degree+ irons just to get your hair straight then yeah, you may want to watch it. Just because someone uses heat doesn't make them automatically doomed to heat trained hair,nor are they automatically immune to it. It's all about technique and tolerance. Start with the lowest possible temperature and go from there.Choose a flat iron constructed of the best materials i.e.tourmaline. It may take more heat than your hair can tolerate to get the look you are seeking.
> 
> I grew up getting old school presses not constantly, but my beautician was surgical with the pressing comb-had been doing hair since at least the 50s and did my mom,grandmas and great aunt's hair.*How many people doing hair today can truly say today they have that kind of experience? *She by instinct knew how long to let that comb sit before using it. I never had heat trained hair- it snapped back with shampoo- no straight pieces,ever. My hair is fine, but said to be able to "take heat". Now my paternal grandma did burn a patch of my bangs out once. It turned blonde then disintegrated. All we could do was laugh!  You gotta know your own hair and *stay within your hair's personal lane* *IMO*


 
Very few people under a certain age.  I always check for a hot comb over a flat iron anyday. At least w/ a hot comb you can control how many heated surfaces touch the hair. Flat irons give heat both directly from below and above. The potential for burning is much higher, IMHO.


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## Bun Mistress (Nov 24, 2009)

Very important point to never forget is if you don't feel like doing your hair DON'T!  I have had bad detangling experience on nights where I didn't really feel like doing my hair but I had set that day as a a "wash day".  Now if I don't feel like it I just put it put till I do.  

Also with the direcr heat, you have to use it sparingly.  I don't flat iron durring the week if i start reverting. I just have to deal with it.  I work out everyday so if I flat ironed everytime I started to reverts I'd be bald!


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## Irresistible (Nov 24, 2009)

Kiffany said:


> Very important point to never forget is if you don't feel like doing your hair DON'T!  I have had bad detangling experience on nights where I didn't really feel like doing my hair but I had set that day as a a "wash day".  Now if I don't feel like it I just put it put till I do.
> 
> Also with the direcr heat, you have to use it sparingly.  I don't flat iron durring the week if i start reverting. I just have to deal with it.  I work out everyday so if I flat ironed everytime I started to reverts I'd be bald!


I do the same thing, I dont touch my hair to do it from scratch until I am really ready for it


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## MsBoinglicious (Nov 24, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> *6.* If your desparation for long hair makes you buy from tack shops and chemical supply firms....back away from the computer, CC, and Pay Pal. Healthy humans need no such things.


 

I admit i did buy some Megatek. I think i used it once and was like whatever if its gonna grow, its gonna grow (was to lazy to apply everynight). I threw a whole bottle away!


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## Gibsongal (Nov 24, 2009)

Don't know if this has been mentioned before, but Ladies who are thinking about henna PLEASE use BAQ henna. Had a bad setback with a henna that I thought was BAQ henna because it was a henna made specifically for hair and got great reviews on the board. WRONG move for me...... Long story short I suffered a major setback that took a year to remedy. It was totally uncalled for. I was being cheap and impatient. Always a recipie for disaster.

Now, if I don't find the BAQ henna in the Indian store, I just order it on-line. I guess the bottom line is always use quality products on your hair. That doesn't mean that is has to be expensive, just quality. You're hair is definitely worth it.


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

Gibsongal said:


> Don't know if this has been mentioned before, but Ladies who are thinking about henna PLEASE use BAQ henna. Had a bad setback with a henna that I thought was BAQ henna because it was a henna made specifically for hair and got great reviews on the board. WRONG move for me...... Long story short I suffered a major setback that took a year to remedy. It was totally uncalled for. I was being cheap and impatient. Always a recipie for disaster.
> 
> Now, if I don't find the BAQ henna in the Indian store, I just order it on-line. I guess the bottom line is always use quality products on your hair. That doesn't mean that is has to be expensive, just quality. You're hair is definitely worth it.


 
While I understand what you're saying. so called "BAQ henna" is an online invention. Basically it's pure henna finely sifted which doesn't have to cost $8 for 100grms! When people use the term, they have a tendency to mean henna bought from 1-2 dealers online. That's fine if they wanna spend $$$$, but knowing name brands of good quality stuff you can buy is far more useful info, IMHO.

Search around here and at LongHairCommunity for well known store brands.

In places where henna use is far more common, they simply use the same henna for hair and skin. Many of them don't bother w/ henna "tool" to get clogged. They go free hand w/ tooth picks and the like. Yup, they're bad like that!


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## Junebug D (Nov 24, 2009)

*Be messy.*   If it feels tight, then it's probably pulling your hair out or breaking it.  Wear your hair as loosely as possible, every hair does NOT need to be in place.

*Simplify.* Simplify your products, your regimen, your styling, simplify everything. Makes it much easier to keep up, keep track, and maintain consistency.

*Buy a camera.* ALWAYS take pictures and ALWAYS document in writing whenever you do something different.


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## CaliDiamond (Nov 24, 2009)

*LOW-MANIPULATION*: Learn to be low-mani. Your hair will love you for it.


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## Gibsongal (Nov 24, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> While I understand what you're saying. so called "BAQ henna" is an online invention. Basically it's pure henna finely sifted which doesn't have to cost $8 for 100grms! When people use the term, they have a tendency to mean henna bought from 1-2 dealers online. That's fine if they wanna spend $$$$, but knowing name brands of good quality stuff you can buy is far more useful info, IMHO.
> 
> Search around here and at LongHairCommunity for well known store brands.
> 
> In places where henna use is far more common, they simply use the same henna for hair and skin. Many of them don't bother w/ henna "tool" to get clogged. They go free hand w/ tooth picks and the like. Yup, they're bad like that!



And I get what you're saying too. BAQ might be a made up term, but I do believe there is some truth to the meaning behind it. I still buy my henna from an Indian store and it is pretty inexpensive. .99/box. 100g.(jamila) But  because of my experience with the other brand, which caused bald spots, I'm a little gun shy of using anything else other than what worked for me. Online henna is expensive I agree, but I never had any problems using it. 

Incidentally I did search LHCF and the brand I used that caused the problems was highly recommended. Go figure.  

Anyway, this is clearly a to each his own deal. My post was about my setback and using quality not necessarily expensive products.


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

^^^^Since it's a setback thread, what brand did you use? You can warn others. I commented merely to say that no such plant exists in nature. It's mostly marketing....w/ sifting, of course!

One of the major issues surrounding these "BAQ henna vendors" is how much henna they recommend for hair lengths. *If you use 500 grams on your hair based on their recommendations, don't be surprised if it's a dry mess. After all, 500 grams=1 lb.*


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

*Manipulation* you have to learn what is the right amount for you. If it's *too high*, it can lead to breakage, product overload, and tons of other nasties. If *too low*, it can lead to dreads, tangling, and the resulting breakage that comes from untangling.


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## Duchesse (Nov 24, 2009)

Don't texlax your hair from root to tip more than once in a month. I know, it was a very stupid move and literally made me lose a years worth of hair, but I was tryna do a "corrective" and loosen the curl more.

Don't color then relax your hair.

If you have fine strands you cannot, cannot! do what the thick stranded girls can do. Can Not!

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. That goes with regimens, products, styles. Don't get caught up in bandwagons you read on the forum.


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## Barbie83 (Nov 24, 2009)

Definitely break up with your blowdryer. And put curling irons/flat irons on probation. (use sparingly)

There's nothing like a fresh blowout and swangin flat-ironed hair, but that used to be my signature style, and my hair went nowhere. Just SL, all year round.

Now that I only use heat once or twice a month, my hair is sooooo much healthier. And when I do decide to flat iron it, the results are so much better than when I was doing it every other day. 

Also, I have to add: don't be afraid to trim badly split/damaged ends. Sometimes holding on to them will only have your hair looking worse. I RELUCTANTLY parted with about an inch of splits a week ago at the salon. I may not make my December APL goal now, but when I do finally make it, it will be full, healthy APL with fabulous ends.


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## Gibsongal (Nov 24, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> ^^^^Since it's a setback thread, what brand did you use? You can warn others. I commented merely to say that no such plant exists in nature. It's mostly marketing....w/ sifting, of course!
> 
> One of the major issues surrounding these "BAQ henna vendors" is how much henna they recommend for hair lengths. *If you use 500 grams on your hair based on their recommendations, don't be surprised if it's a dry mess. After all, 500 grams=1 lb.*



500 Grams!!!?? Maybe if you're floor length! I don't even use the full box once a month. 

Anyway, the henna I used that caused my set-back was Rhesma(sp)??? henna for hair. It worked wonders for a lot of ladies, but sucked for me. Maybe it was a bad batch???? Who knows? I won't be using it again. Oh and I don't use lemon juice either. That will cause dryness  as well. I just use hot water, olive oil and paprika. My color comes out fine. I guess I should add some pics at some point.


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## CaliDiamond (Nov 24, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> *Manipulation* you have to learn what is the right amount for you. If it's *too high*, it can lead to breakage, product overload, and tons of other nasties. If *too low*, it can lead to dreads, tangling, and the resulting breakage that comes from untangling.


 
Thanks for clarifying Jamaraa.  In my case as a texlaxed AND transitioning fine head, low manipulation works for me. 

Also, If you keep a protective style in for more than 2 days, I would recommend detangling your hair beforehand (for all hair types) so you don't have to deal with the stress later.


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## kandegirl (Nov 24, 2009)

-Do what works for you and stick to it.
-When trying  a new style and something about it goes against your gut instints telling you something is wrong, give it up and don't worry about the money you've spent. Kinky twists set me back b/c my hair was all the way to the end of the twists and I let them dip my hair in boiling water to curl the ends. Result= had to cut my hair into a bob from FINALLY reaching apl.
-Remember a set-back is just a set-up for a COME-BACK!!


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## Nya33 (Nov 24, 2009)

This is a great thread Iris!
I agree with everything said so far.
All i have to add is make sure your hair is either wrapped or secure - relaxed or natural before bed. I know i have had breakage when i dont do this from rubbing etc.


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## Jas123 (Nov 24, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> Henna, tho a wonderful thing, can be abused which will result in dry and *breaking hair*.
> !


heck yeah!!!!!! i've been using henna for about 2 yeas now (about every 6 weeks) with wonderful results... why did i decide to that i should do a henna treatment everyweek for a month... can we say protein overload
too much of a good thing can be BAD!
setback central... i was just about bsl now i'm back to apl
the breakage was horrible... i kept trying to convince myself it was shedding... NOT!!! and then i had to get a trim on top of the breakage


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## PrissyMiss (Nov 24, 2009)

Barbie83 said:


> Also, I have to add: don't be afraid to trim badly split/damaged ends. Sometimes holding on to them will only have your hair looking worse. I RELUCTANTLY parted with about an inch of splits a week ago at the salon. I may not make my December APL goal now, but when I do finally make it, it will be full, healthy APL with fabulous ends.



I cannot thank your post enough.


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## Fine 4s (Nov 24, 2009)

Minimize 'experiments' and air on the conservative side....


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

Jas123 said:


> heck yeah!!!!!! i've been using henna for about 2 yeas now (about every 6 weeks) with wonderful results... why did i decide to that i should do a henna treatment everyweek for a month... can we say protein overload
> too much of a good thing can be BAD!
> setback central... i was just about bsl now i'm back to apl
> the breakage was horrible... i kept trying to convince myself it was shedding... NOT!!! and then i had to get a trim on top of the breakage


 
Aw I'm sorry sweetie...1x per week is way too much, even if you're just "root shooting". Thanks for reminding me of:

*Henna* CAN act like a protein for some even tho it isn't a protein. You should do protein treatments no sooner than 2 wks before or after a henna. Personally I'd go for 1 month+ afterwards as needed.


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## Missi (Nov 24, 2009)

Just what i needed


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## ceebee3 (Nov 24, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> Aw I'm sorry sweetie...1x per week is way too much, even if you're just "root shooting". Thanks for reminding me of:
> 
> *Henna* CAN act like a protein for some even tho it isn't a protein. You should do protein treatments no sooner than 2 wks before or after a henna. Personally I'd go for 1 month+ afterwards as needed.


 
So true, I was a protein fool and it was around the same time I had done my 2nd henna/indigo treatment.

I lost a good 2 inches from drying my hair out.


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## Zawaj (Nov 24, 2009)

Know that sometimes you (your mama, cousin or BFF) are NOT qualified to do it yourself! Sometimes you may need to let a professional help you out. I personally will not be DIY with cutting or relaxing again as I have proven I am woefully unqualified in those areas.


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

Wow such a nice thread for a newbie. The info is very good and thorough, but not confusing. Nice job guys!  :woohoo:


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## Lilac87 (Nov 24, 2009)

As a newbie, I learned that I could not jump right in and use all the products and do everything the more experienced ladies were doing. Following what everyone else was doing just because their hair pics looked good caused me a lot of setbacks in the beginning. I was doing things to my hair that I had no business doing! 

After my setback, I figured out that the best thing for me to do was to research and learn my hair type and learn what typically works for women that have the same hair type. And then based off my research, form a very simple reggie for my hair type and monitor my hair's reaction. That way if something goes wrong, I know exactly what product to avoid instead of having to figure out which one of the 500 products I used is the culprit.


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## Zawaj (Nov 24, 2009)

Subscribing!


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## Beaute Noire (Nov 24, 2009)

I just want to thank the OP for this thread, awesome...My small tip: Be gentle to your hair!! Especially when combing. I used to rip through mine with a small tooth comb.. Now that I use a paddle/soft Denman my hair is thanking me


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## MrsHdrLe (Nov 24, 2009)

Subscribing


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## jamaraa (Nov 24, 2009)

Gibsongal said:


> 500 Grams!!!?? Maybe if you're floor length! I don't even use the full box once a month.


 
Check out these measures:
http://www.mehandi.com/shop/african/index.html
2in=100 grams 

Read the indigo measures (henna would be the same in this case for this amount of hair)

http://www.mehandi.com/shop/hairindigo/index.html

IMHO, these measures are WAY too much for most people even past WL. Remember we're talking 1 lb! There are more economical and less drying ways to get a full henna, 1 step, or 2 step. For most African textured hair, this would be Setback City, IMHO.


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## purplepeace79 (Nov 24, 2009)

You don't _need_ a relaxer. You _want_ one. Knowing that difference will change the way you go about using them (i.e. stretching). May even change your choice to use them at all. No one ever _needs_ to chemically alter their hair. If you keep having setback after setback, that's the first place you should look.

There is no such thing as "going natural". It is "being natural". And yes, it ranges in difficulty for each person because it is hard to break old habits. If you are _scared_ or _nervous_ about "being" natural, really take a long look at yourself and why. Then research, research, research so that when you do you don't end up having setbacks that make you feel like you _need_ to relax your hair. Learn your hair type (by whatever system you choose), learn the techniques, the products... ask questions of the veterans, speak up. Chill on the heat, miracle products, and chasing the elusive "curl". These things can do far more harm than good.

Light auburn on light brown/reddish hair = blonde. UGH. Permanent color IS permanent.

When combing out your locs, don't get frustratred and tug. You will end up ripping off your hair and have uneven patches when you're finally loose. If you dont have the patience, don't do it yourself. It takes hours and hours and hours, but CAN be done.

Before taking supplements and vitamins, be sure that you are fully aware of your health issues and take into account your weight, height, and age. These things play a role in the effectiveness of the pills/powders and/or side effects.  A 350 lb woman can't expect the same dosages to work for her that work for a 150lb woman. A 25 y/o woman will metabolize these things differently than a 50 y/o woman.

If you can't get past shoulder length, but constantly wear your hair resting on your shoulders... therein lies your problem.


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## prospurr4 (Nov 24, 2009)

I haven't read all of the responses, so hopefully my tips have not been mentioned:

1) It takes time and patience to grow hair; there are no short-cuts.  In fact, looking for a short-cut _may equal _looking for a setback.

2) After putting in all the time and hard work necessary to retain considerable length, *stay away from people who want to cut your hair if you don't want it cut*.  It angers me every time I read a thread about someone who trusted a stylist and walked out of the salon with 3-5 inches of their hair on the floor. 

3) Direct heat is not your friend and should be used in moderation...especially if your hair is already chemically-treated.   Personally, I have taken *the extreme stance *of never planning to use direct heat again, mainly because I'm texlaxed and believe that heat and chemicals don't mix.


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## Victorian (Nov 24, 2009)

Kiffany said:


> Very important point to never forget is if you don't feel like doing your hair DON'T!  I have had bad detangling experience on nights where I didn't really feel like doing my hair but I had set that day as a a "wash day".  Now if I don't feel like it I just put it put till I do.



Big ditto to the above.  My number one rule on wash day is to be honest with myself.  If I don't feel like doing it I don't even start.  Or a couple times I managed to wash and blow dry, but was too tired to flat iron.  So I just had a blow out that week.  When you're tired or feeling lazy, that is the absolute last time you should be handling heat or chemicals  One bad day of ripping through your hair or half doing it can cause damage, and your hair will look way worse than if you had just bunned it up for the week.

Sort of related -- if you know you're lazy about certain things, build a regimen that really works for your style/involvement preferences.  Don't expect to totally revamp everything you do overnight and be able to stick with it.  Easy does it.

Your hair can tell you far more about how to take care of it than anyone on this board ever could.  You'll notice in this thread and any other where people are giving tips to newbies or whatever--the one thing that everyone DOES agree on is to listen to your hair


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## briana87 (Nov 24, 2009)

Thank you so much for this thread. This has really helped me out because at first I changed my regimen based on the opinions of what other people thought were "bad practices" when in reality they weren't damaging to _me_ personally.

From experience I have learned that if there is *any* lingering doubt about a product or technique: *DO NOT PROCEED*! I know some people would disagree and say that it never hurts to try, but trust me I now know better than that. Some things are just not worth it.

Also it's good to get to know your hair before you really dive into a regimen. My hair tends to get very dry with frequent washes so daily co-washing is out of the question.

Again, thanks OP (and all the other ladies)!


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## Beaute Noire (Nov 24, 2009)

Barbie83 said:


> Definitely break up with your blowdryer. And put curling irons/flat irons on probation. (use sparingly)
> 
> *There's nothing like a fresh blowout and swangin flat-ironed hair, but that used to be my signature style, and my hair went nowhere. Just SL, all year round.*
> 
> ...



^^Barbie You're so right!!! I'm not ready to give it all up tho look:


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## Beaute Noire (Nov 24, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> I do the same thing, I* dont touch my hair to do it from scratch until I am really ready for it*



^^I agree, nor do I.


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## Firstborn2 (Nov 24, 2009)

@ Iris this is a 5 star thread, thanks for starting it...


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## BSweet (Nov 24, 2009)

love this thread..i will read every single post but first i will contribute..

Well the reason i am back on this Board in the first place is b/c of a setback..because of LHCF i was able to grow my hair long real fast..and of course i wanted to play w/ it..so i decided to start putting in Texturizers over my relaxers...but the drama started when i wanted to switch back to relaxer..which means my texurized hair got over processed and my hair broke off TERRIBLY... 

but only in the front and like the crown mid back area..so it looked like there was a big gap in the back of my head especially since my hair had gotten pretty long..

Then being back on LHCF..i decided to try BKT..since i am now afraid of chemicals but still wanted straight hair..well my hair had been doing better but took a turn for the worse after BKT..it was breaking off and shedding like crazy..maybe it was heat damage from the high heat..i donno..but i was so surprised because i have heard nothing but good things and that it stops and prevents damage..not causes it...

so basically i have had a setback on top of a setback..my head is in really bad shape..just long hair in one corner..and broken off hair in another..i'm too afraid to cut i off..i wanna just grow i out since it sits under a wig n e way..

but please learn from my mistakes..

properly transition..and stick to it..or get a corrective if you wan to go back

and don't jump on every bandwagon..cause to each their own..


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## sunshinelady (Nov 25, 2009)

evsbaby said:


> *Prevention is better than cure*-
> For people who are susceptible to anemia make sure you check your HB regularly and take regular essential supplements and nutrients. Always investigate excessive hair shedding, find the root cause. Get your ferritin levels checked also because your HB may be within an acceptable range due to compensatory mechanisms but your ferritin levels may be low and you could still be anemic.
> Evsbaby
> 
> ...



Anyone with pernicious anemia needs to do a parasite cleanse.  In almost all cases, there are ascaris worms.


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## Arian (Nov 25, 2009)

One side of my head is going nuts...L-Shaped splits and frizziness.  It looks horrible.  This, after I flat iron...I thought I was doing everything correctly.

ETA:  I think this is the beginning of a setback for me.


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## MRJ1972 (Nov 25, 2009)

GENTLY and PATIENTLY detangle your hair...I have lost soo much hair by ripping it out when detangling while in a hurry or while aggravated...


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## MRJ1972 (Nov 25, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> *Braids as growth aids* have far less a margin of error than you might think. *Not only can they kill your nape and edges, they can simply pull your hair out all over, by the roots. This can end up being permanent hair loss (ie traction alopecia). *They must be well cared for and shouldn't stay in too long, esp if you're using extensions in addition to your own hair. If you're using other hair, you MUST research the hair and prepare it before putting it in. It can literally cut your real hair off and/or the chemicals it's treated w/ can cause irritation. Commerical hair, synth or human, is chemically treated...don't forget this.
> 
> *Under no circumstaces let ANYONE put an open flame near your head. *
> 
> ...


 

Thanks for this tidbit!!!! I have redone a couple of my braids around the hairline area and the entire patch of hair literally comes out when I detangle or even separate the hair with my hands!!!! Touching up areas in the crown or anywhere in the middle of my head are fine- no breakage, but THEY ARE COMING OUT!!!!


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## Lucia (Nov 25, 2009)

I let a stylist talk me into a "trim" for me a trim was 1 inch, well she cut me back from BSL to shoulder length. My hair wasn't damaged since I wasn't heat styling at all just that 1 time.  So to all the newbie's, please show the stylist, show them on your body where you want your hair to be after the trim or cut. 

I had a stylist just walk up behind me with scissors ready to cut, and I was just there for the press, and I had a trim by a trusted cheap stylist 2 weeks before-so y ends were fine, she hadn't even looked at my ends, I pointed this out to her, she was just going to cut without asking me, without telling me and by the looks of it she was just going to chop it to half the length right off and go sorry I though you said you wanted a cut or you needed a trim you're ends are raggedy.  that's my fav line stylist tell clients

Good thing I was already getting up. Then make them show you 2 or 3 times before they pick up scissors and start cutting hair like crazy, then going oh that's the cut you wanted.  I have this posted in my blog in detail please read it.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/blog.php?b=3317


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## jamaraa (Nov 25, 2009)

purplepeace79 said:


> You don't _need_ a relaxer. You _want_ one. Knowing that difference will change the way you go about using them (i.e. stretching). May even change your choice to use them at all. No one ever _needs_ to chemically alter their hair. If you keep having setback after setback, that's the first place you should look.
> 
> *There is no such thing as "going natural". It is "being natural". And yes, it ranges in difficulty for each person because it is hard to break old habits. If you are scared or nervous about "being" natural, really take a long look at yourself and why.* Then research, research, research so that when you do you don't end up having setbacks that make you feel like you _need_ to relax your hair. Learn your hair type (by whatever system you choose), learn the techniques, the products... ask questions of the veterans, speak up. Chill on the heat, miracle products, and chasing the elusive "curl". These things can do far more harm than good.


 
*Le sigh*...there IS such a thing as "going natural". *If you haven't dealt w/ your unaltered texture in many years or ever, you MUST learn  an entirely new head of hair. To pretend otherwise is denial and a major cause of "setbacks" across the board to the unsuspecting.* You simply can't treat natural hair exactly as you did your relaxed hair. Nor can you treat lockd hair as you do loose. It simply doesn't work that way. People who try this learn VERY quickly the true meaning of setback, as we see evidence of daily at this site.

Frankly, why someone is afraid to be natural isn't my business...I don't make windows into people's souls, however I understand that it IS daunting to learn an entirely different head of hair, styling practices, product lineup, etc. *Given the immense amount of product, tools, and techniques used and tauted by naturals here and elsewhere, I'd be put off myself if I didn't know better. * I know better based on experience and time. Everyone has to learn that way.

I've been natural long enough to know it ain't just as simple as not getting a perm anymore. This is a very complex and personal decision that shouldn't be made because of peer pressure of any sort.


----------



## SmilingElephant (Nov 25, 2009)

My 2 cents would be....

Be patient when aiming for length....even if you start to hallucinate that you are at waistlength already but then when u post it and your LHCF sisters say you're not....don't get offended (personal experience)...they are just telling the truth. Give yourself time and try not to dwell on it and obsess over it.

Thanx ladies....for real. 

And keep your hair moisturized all the time  And scalp clean


----------



## Lucia (Nov 25, 2009)

SmilingElephant said:


> My 2 cents would be....
> 
> Be patient when aiming for length....even if you start to hallucinate that you are at waistlength already but then when u post it and your LHCF sisters say you're not....don't get offended (personal experience)...they are just telling the truth. Give yourself time and try not to dwell on it and obsess over it.
> 
> ...



Good one, if you want feedback just post a  pic or link to your album and ask the question don't assume you already know.  Actually this happened to me in reverse i always downplayed my progress and new lengths cause I have hairnorexia= hair anorexia and I couldn't see it.


----------



## blacksapphire (Nov 25, 2009)

BSweet said:


> love this thread..i will read every single post but first i will contribute..
> 
> Well the reason i am back on this Board in the first place is b/c of a setback..because of LHCF i was able to grow my hair long real fast..and of course i wanted to play w/ it..so i decided to start putting in Texturizers over my relaxers...but the drama started when i wanted to switch back to relaxer..which means my texurized hair got over processed and my hair broke off TERRIBLY...
> 
> ...



Did you do a deep moisture treatment or a protien treatment. If I have learnt anything it's that you need to find a way to keep your hair constantly moisturized, whether it's co-washing, deep conditioning, adding leave-ins, ect (what ever works for you). When you use heat, since it damages/ breaks down bonds in you hair to make it straighter you might need to do a protein treatment to restore the strength of you hair followed by a deep moisture treatment to prevent it from getting too dry and breaking off.
After intense heat or any chemical treatment on my hair I tend to treat my hair with extra care for the nest two weeks, paying extreamly close attention to it and it's needs since I feel that it has been through alot .


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## Irresistible (Nov 25, 2009)

I Don't get it

Of course there is a such thing as 'going natural'  Sometimes it's a process and some ladies 'do' transition


purplepeace79 said:


> You don't _need_ a relaxer. You _want_ one. Knowing that difference will change the way you go about using them (i.e. stretching). May even change your choice to use them at all. No one ever _needs_ to chemically alter their hair. If you keep having setback after setback, that's the first place you should look.
> 
> There is no such thing as "going natural". It is "being natural". And yes, it ranges in difficulty for each person because it is hard to break old habits. If you are _scared_ or _nervous_ about "being" natural, really take a long look at yourself and why. Then research, research, research so that when you do you don't end up having setbacks that make you feel like you _need_ to relax your hair. Learn your hair type (by whatever system you choose), learn the techniques, the products... ask questions of the veterans, speak up. Chill on the heat, miracle products, and chasing the elusive "curl". These things can do far more harm than good.
> 
> ...


----------



## Arian (Nov 25, 2009)

To correct my problems, I think I am going to rollerset for this relaxer stretch and then come back flat ironing (if I'm in a pinch for time)...otherwise, I am rollersetting from now on.  Flat ironing for me is going to be for emergencies only!  And I'm cleaning out my hair inventory.  Everything that didn't work must go!


----------



## moonglowdiva (Nov 25, 2009)

*I have read all of the posts and have nothing to add. All of the info was right on point. Thank OP for  this very useful post!!!!*


----------



## jamaraa (Nov 25, 2009)

*Bunning as a growth aid and protective style* is a great approach if done properly, just like w/ braids. With bunning you have to be sure to watch out for stress points, from a breakage standpoint and where you pin it. *If you always keep your bun in the same place, your hair can break and you can get bald spots (ie traction alopecia) in the place you constantly pin it.*

You need to move your buns every so slightly up, down, to the left and to the right. Nothing incredbly drastic is requred, but this changed where the stress points are and where you place your pins.

This same principle applies to *wrapping your hair*. Change direction and change your placement a bit.

*Iris* you should write a bit about your discovery, oil washing/rinsing. I don't fully understand this one myself!


----------



## purplepeace79 (Nov 25, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> *Le sigh*...there IS such a thing as "going natural". *If you haven't dealt w/ your unaltered texture in many years or ever, you MUST learn an entirely new head of hair. To pretend otherwise is denial and a major cause of "setbacks" across the board to the unsuspecting.* You simply can't treat natural hair exactly as you did your relaxed hair. Nor can you treat lockd hair as you do loose. It simply doesn't work that way. People who try this learn VERY quickly the true meaning of setback, as we see evidence of daily at this site.
> 
> Frankly, why someone is afraid to be natural isn't my business...I don't make windows into people's souls, however I understand that it IS daunting to learn an entirely different head of hair, styling practices, product lineup, etc. *Given the immense amount of product, tools, and techniques used and tauted by naturals here and elsewhere, I'd be put off myself if I didn't know better. *I know better based on experience and time. Everyone has to learn that way.
> 
> I've been natural long enough to know it ain't just as simple as not getting a perm anymore. *This is a very complex and personal decision that shouldn't be made because of peer pressure of any sort*.


 
I think you missed my point, but its ok. I'm noticing that you have critiques of a lot of things people say. I'm not trying to be argumentative on a hair board, but I will elaborate.

Who we are is who we are, naturally. I dont have to "go" anywhere or "go" back to being who I am born. I can just be who I am and stop doing the other things that were changing who I am naturally. THAT is what I mean.  To me, "going natural" suggests that its some type of alternative style when it really is the baseline.  Being natural, in my OPINION (we're still allowed those right?) more accurately describes what happens when a woman decides to stop chemically relaxing her hair.

Learning the tricks of the trade are all included in the idea of "being" natural.

Now if you have a difference of opinion, so be it, I can respect that. But please, dont ridicule (le sigh? really?) my views simply because you disagree.

I totally disagree with your post about combing your hair dry, but I didnt feel the need to come behind you and make a mockery of it.

To the RED section, I say, complex personal decision? really? I guess that is where we differ in opinion, and I hope it can move more towards a respectful exchange, because I am very bothered by the idea that any sister has to make a COMPLEX decision about wearing her hair sans relaxer.  If that isnt troublesome, I dont know what is. I think the complex decision-making should be in whether or not to relax, not whether or not to "be" natural. When you say "go natural" you are suggesting that relaxers are normal, being natural is not and I denounce that idea and hope at some point, we ALL deounce it


----------



## LunadeMiel (Nov 25, 2009)

Do not rip out knots!! Ripping them out will cause your ends to split and cause more knots. I've had to trim inches of hair because I kept ripping out my knots. Now I carry about a small pair of hair shears so that I can cut them out.


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## purplepeace79 (Nov 25, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> I Don't get it
> 
> Of course there is a such thing as 'going natural' Sometimes it's a process and some ladies 'do' transition


 
Its all about how you view the concept of "natural"
We clearly all have different opinions and views so there is no "of course" about anything. I dont agree with the idea of "going natural", so that doesnt make your opinion more valid than mine or the correct one.

I have a different perspective on the idea of it, as I explained up thread, but we can agree to disagree.


----------



## Computer Blue (Nov 25, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> Very few people under a certain age.  I always check for a hot comb over a flat iron anyday. At least w/ a hot comb you can control how many heated surfaces touch the hair. Flat irons give heat both directly from below and above. The potential for burning is much higher, IMHO.



*I think at this stage of the game I am too impatient/lazy and too rusty on the traditional pressing comb thing when 100%. I may buy a ceramic tourmaline one someday. I fear a repeat of the blonde then gone thing. I notice with flat ironing I have to be careful not to drag the iron across the section.*



Duchesse said:


> *If you have fine strands you cannot, cannot! do what the thick stranded girls can do. Can Not!*
> 
> If it ain't broke, don't fix it. That goes with regimens, products, styles. Don't get caught up in bandwagons you read on the forum.



*Yes Ma'am! Couldn't thank you twice!*




Sort of related -- if you know you're lazy about certain things, build a regimen that really works for your style/involvement preferences.  Don't expect to totally revamp everything you do overnight and be able to stick with it.  Easy does it.

Your hair can tell you far more about how to take care of it than anyone on this board ever could.  You'll notice in this thread and any other where people are giving tips to newbies or whatever--the one thing that everyone DOES agree on is to listen to your hair [/QUOTE]

*Yep Yep!*


----------



## jamaraa (Nov 25, 2009)

LunadeMiel said:


> Do not rip out knots!! Ripping them out will cause your ends to split and cause more knots. I've had to trim inches of hair because I kept ripping out my knots. Now I carry about a small pair of hair shears so that I can cut them out.


 
*Knots on ends...*a way to avoid them *if you plait/braid* is NOT to braid down to the tips of the hair. Your hair WILL stay plaited, you can "seal" the ends by putting on a heavier oil, if there was even tension all the way down, I've found.


----------



## CurliDiva (Nov 25, 2009)

If you get that mental PMS-haze, please don't make any major hair decicions (i.e...radical cut, color or chemicals) when Aunt Flow is coming to visit!


----------



## JJamiah (Nov 25, 2009)

I just am trying to not agree with if you don't want to wash it don't because I don't feel like it and I know I need to get my butt down stairs right now 

HUH, but you told me so I won't atleast not right now, 

anywho, my add, YOU must do what works for you, if it doesn't work and it makes your hair worse, GET RID OF IT, don't use it just because you don't want to waste money, bless someone else with it, they might have better results.

If someone else has something you'd like to try, ask for a sample don't be ashamed or to cute, or if they have samples in the store pick it up, the bigger picture is, if it doesn't work you can thank goodness you didn't get the larger bottle.

Honestly, your hair is growing everyday, I have butchered my hair, beat up my hair, snagged my hair with combs and basically ABUSED the heck out of my hair but it was still WL to my unliking of it. I didn't want and still don't like hair touching my back, I have a pet peve against it like body liquid don't ask me why I just do! I don't like sweat, so in that moment (yall know) here is a towel! I used blow dryers weekly and flat irons with no breakage , I still got my trims and rollersets. You have to know what your hair can tolerate. I at that time was using thermasilk I think and CPR that is to say nothing so Special or $1000000 of dollars. 

YOu really have to know your hair, feel your hair, listen to your hair, and if that doesn't work talk to your hair  (JUST KIDDING about talking to it) but do listen if it seems dry, work on hydrating, if it is to moisturized work on protein, if it is too dull and gucky clarify, but listen to your hair, if you don't it will be hair today and gone tomorrow. 


AND YES please don't just cut because your mad --> I have been guilty of it about 4 times, Last time I did it because me and my husband was going through some stuff and I needed to vent in my own way, but he was mad so I did accomplish what I set out for! 

Now look at me, tryna get back to where I was?


----------



## JJamiah (Nov 25, 2009)

CurliDiva said:


> If you get that mental PMS-haze, please don't make any major hair decicions (i.e...radical cut, color or chemicals) when Aunt Flow is coming to visit!


 
erplexed Stop talking about me!!! I confessed already. LOL, I know bald and blonde lol! AHhhhh, I remember those days

ALways my brittney spears moments though, I felt like I was letting go of the past and starting anew!


----------



## *Muffin* (Nov 25, 2009)

Don't know if this has been posted already, but it bares repeating (especially if you're like me ).

*Tips on Trimming*

1. Keep track of how often you trim. It's easy to trim too frequently or too infrequently if you don't know when your last trim was.
2. Know approximately how fast your hair grows, so you know how much to trim off so you aren't setting yourself back.
3. Don't be obsessed with evenness! This can lead to over-cutting.
4. Make sure you use a pair of sharp scissors when you trim. 
5. For those that trim their hair when wet, be aware that a 1/2 inch of wet hair may very well equal 1 to 1 1/2 inches of dry hair, so be careful!
6. For those that don't self-trim, make sure the person that trims your hair is trustworthy. A good sign of trustworthiness is that they respect both you and your hair goals and don't show signs that they think they know better than you.


----------



## Irresistible (Nov 25, 2009)

purplepeace79 said:


> I think you missed my point, but its ok. I'm noticing that you have critiques of a lot of things people say. I'm not trying to be argumentative on a hair board, but I will elaborate.
> 
> Who we are is who we are, naturally. I dont have to "go" anywhere or "go" back to being who I am born. I can just be who I am and stop doing the other things that were changing who I am naturally. THAT is what I mean.  To me, "going natural" suggests that its some type of alternative style when it really is the baseline.  Being natural, in my OPINION (we're still allowed those right?) more accurately describes what happens when a woman decides to stop chemically relaxing her hair.
> 
> ...


Come on girl , this is not a personal POV, feeling thread , or pro anything about one's mental state on natural/relaxed hair

it's a setback prevention thread and that's it! nothing more

none of that was needed to prevent a set back,  the technicalities of if one views it as going natural or being natural doesnt matter here


----------



## Irresistible (Nov 25, 2009)

purplepeace79 said:


> Its all about how you view the concept of "natural"
> We clearly all have different opinions and views so there is no "of course" about anything. I dont agree with the idea of "going natural", so that doesnt make your opinion more valid than mine or the correct one.
> 
> I have a different perspective on the idea of it, as I explained up thread, but we can agree to disagree.


ok fine, either way it doesnt matter one way or another as to the purpose of the thread tho


----------



## PDub (Nov 25, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> Come on girl , this is not a personal POV, feeling thread , or pro anything about one's mental state on natural/relaxed hair
> 
> it's a setback prevention thread and that's it! nothing more
> 
> none of that was needed to prevent a set back, the technicalities of if one view's it as going natural or being natural doesnt matter here


 
Thank you Irresistible!!  I was hoping this thread wouldn't turn into a natural vs relaxed thread.   I'm so sick of people turning every thread into some kind of fight. The original topic, preventing setbacks, is so good and so beneficial!!  Thanks for starting it.  I've gotten alot of information that I can use in my journey


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## briana87 (Nov 25, 2009)

PDub said:


> Thank you Irresistible!!  I was hoping this thread wouldn't turn into a natural vs relaxed thread.   I'm so sick of people turning every thread into some kind of fight. The original topic, preventing setbacks, is so good and so beneficial!!  Thanks for starting it.  I've gotten alot of information that I can use in my journey



 *cosigning with PDub* 

BTW: is there anyway this thread could _possibly_ become a sticky? The advice here is just too good to be buried.


----------



## jamaraa (Nov 25, 2009)

^^^^ Yes, this *SHOULD* be a sticky cuz it's clock full of good info that's useful to almost anyone w/ African textured hair (and even some w/o it! ) Use basic common sense to avoid dryness, find a happy medium that you and your wallet can live w/ product/timewise, and let YOUR head/hair guide YOUR decisions.

Most of this info can be used *SUCCESSFULLY* by relaxed, natural, texlaxed, braided, transitioning, weaved, dyed, heat straightened, etc heads.


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## JJamiah (Nov 25, 2009)

Each ONe teach one, (I went and washed my hair, hoooo Hooo, I fought that tooth and nail, meaning I didn't want to do it!) 




Every tip helps, what works for you may not work for me, what works for her may work for him, but we are all here offering our tips. Take it or leave it! you might be able to take it and offer it to someone else in your life. 

I love you ladies, it's thanksgiving tomorrow PUT YOUR DIETS TO THE SIDE and EAT!!!!

Great thread ladies!


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## Daughter (Nov 25, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> when bored with your hair and/or frustrated, or if your going through something stressful in your life , be careful to not take out life and your emotions out on your hair,  when feeling that ansy feeling to do something drastic,  try to sit it out for as long as you can-most times it passes anyway and you will be glad you did
> 
> will add more here later



Now that was the cause of my setback, although I was happy to have had the hair cut off and start almost anew back in January last year...

Also for me - TAKE YOUR TIME with your hair. Don't rush ANY part of haircare - detangling, styling, whatever. If I don't it always ends in tears

Don't give in to discouragement - look at other beautiful heads of hair as something to celebrate or a motivation and look for something of your own crown to celebrate too.


----------



## Irresistible (Nov 25, 2009)

bayougirl318 said:


> *cosigning with PDub*
> 
> BTW: is there anyway this thread could _possibly_ become a sticky? The advice here is just too good to be buried.


yeah it would be nice if this thread were easily found and not buried and other's can always add to it

This information is priceless , it's what will keep us on track and our hair on our head thriving


----------



## Arian (Nov 25, 2009)

.....................................


----------



## TheCoilWhisperer (Nov 25, 2009)

Great, great, awesome information!!!!!


----------



## DaPPeR (Nov 25, 2009)

Comb from ends to roots...This saves alot of hair...


----------



## LongTimeComing (Nov 25, 2009)

Irresistible said:


> sitting back chilling in the cut just might save your head



Can't tell you how many times over the years this scenario has played out:

Someone will say that Jaja's hair shine is the Holy Grail and they have grown 1" of hair in a week and the new growth looks like type 2a.
Everybody goes and buys it.
3 weeks later people start posting about having bumps and rashes on their heads.
:/


----------



## *Muffin* (Nov 25, 2009)

Oh yeah, here's another one:

*Bad Hair Days*

If your hair is not cooperating with you no matter what you do, LEAVE IT ALONE! Don't force a comb through if it won't go through. Throw it in a bun, clip it back, scarve it up, or what have you. It's better to suffer through a day or two of crunchy feeling hair than to have to suffer irreparable breakage .  Also, if your sick, going through stress, and/or on certain medications that compromise the strength of your hair, keep it simple and don't fuss with your hair too much.


----------



## Zsugar (Nov 25, 2009)

Find someone that has the patience to work with your
new growth or natural hair. One girl ripped through my new 
growth to braid and I noticed when I took down the braids. Minor 
setback.


----------



## 30something (Nov 25, 2009)

For you emotional girls out there, like my self.. I guess this will be more about emotional set backs. If you find 12 broken pieces on the shrink, relaxed. Its not the end of the world, there IS solution. 

Also... Its important to have inspirations, but don't let your admiration turn in to an obsession of comparing your self with someone's else progress. As soon as you start comparing you fall short. Like what jamaraa was saying (or something close to it), you don't know "sally" you don't know her story.

I think, well at least for me the biggest set backs are emotionally straining your self over your hair, it can lead to making frantic not well thought out decision and tremendous emotional stress... it makes you change your regimen, run to the beauty supply store spend tons of cash, cut your hair off, rip through matted tangle hair,... those are major set backs. The solution most likely is already at your disposal, i think once you realize that there IS a solution coming, it will help reduce a lot of anxiety.

And if you get down...You got to give your self some credit even if you don't have WL hair being on HHJ is something to be proud of no matter what state your hair is.

I'd give a few examples of when emotions got the best of my hair and cause set backs but I have yapped enough.. heh..


----------



## carletta (Nov 26, 2009)

Neith said:


> Get those damaged ends off before the damage gets worse!
> 
> I had a mini setback this year, but I really think I saved myself from a bigger setback by trimming my ends.






DITTO !!!!!! 

I DIDNT TRIM MY ENDS  AND BEFORE I KNEW IT !!!!! I HAD TO TRIM 3INCHS OFF MY HAIR   


KEEP WATCH ON THE ENDS AND TRIM WHEN NECESSARY...PLEASE !


----------



## bestblackgirl (Nov 26, 2009)

Plz make sure you detangle, wash your hair, and prepare your hair before you get a relaxer. 
Stupid me wore a full weaves for 2 months. Took it out, and put on a relaxer the next day without even putting a comb in my hair. Can you say disaster? The girl put 2 full boxes of relaxer bc she said my hair went back to natural when I put the weave. Huh? 
I learned my lesson. Make sure u relax at least 2 wks after u take out braids/weave. And detangle, wash and Deep Condition before you get a relaxer or putting back on braids/weave again.


----------



## anon123 (Nov 26, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> *Knots on ends...*a way to avoid them *if you plait/braid* is NOT to braid down to the tips of the hair. Your hair WILL stay plaited, you can "seal" the ends by putting on a heavier oil, if there was even tension all the way down, I've found.



This I think is really true.  I often see the advice to braid down to the end to "protect" the ends.  But when I twist (I don't braid), I find that the ends of my twists want to knot up the most.  If I leave the bottom 1/4" out and just put on castor oil to help prevent knotting, I get less knotting and tangling than I do when I twist to the very end.


----------



## BSweet (Nov 26, 2009)

bestblackgirl said:


> Plz make sure you detangle, wash your hair, and prepare your hair before you get a relaxer.
> Stupid me wore a full weaves for 2 months. Took it out, and put on a relaxer the next day without even putting a comb in my hair. Can you say disaster? The girl put 2 full boxes of relaxer bc she said my hair went back to natural when I put the weave. Huh?
> I learned my lesson. Make sure u relax at least 2 wks after u take out braids/weave. And detangle, wash and Deep Condition before you get a relaxer or putting back on braids/weave again.



My stylist would do this when i was growing up..i would put in braids every summer..and would go get my relaxer before school started..she would say im natural now since i had braids in and had to apply it to my whole head..

i think that was the real cause of my thin hair growing up...

  if only i knew..


----------



## wavezncurlz (Nov 26, 2009)

Everyone keeps saying protein is bad when overused. I know Henna has protein. What else and how can you tell if a product has protein?


----------



## 30something (Nov 26, 2009)

wavezncurlz said:


> Everyone keeps saying protein is bad when overused. I know Henna has protein. What else and how can you tell if a product has protein?



Usually says Hydrolyzed or Amino acid,  Hydrolyzed Silk, Hydrolyzed Wheat Protein, Collagen Amino Acids. I know Silk, Wheat, Soy, Keratin Collegen are a few, thats all i know.


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## jamaraa (Nov 26, 2009)

mwedzi said:


> This I think is really true. I often see the advice to braid down to the end to "protect" the ends. But when I twist (I don't braid), I find that the ends of my twists want to knot up the most. If I leave the bottom 1/4" out and just put on castor oil to help prevent knotting, I get less knotting and tangling than I do when I twist to the very end.


 
I thought of you when I wrote about single strand knots.  I haven't seen you talk much about getting them so much for a long time. I don't know why they say work a plait/braid/twist to the ends because there are much better ways of protecting your ends by simply "hiding them".

Castor is a perfect oil for this cuz it's got that nice sticky quality. Butters are good for this too. If I'm gonna use a butter on my head, the ends are where I would put it.


----------



## jamaraa (Nov 26, 2009)

wavezncurlz said:


> Everyone keeps saying protein is bad when overused. *I know Henna has protein.* What else and how can you tell if a product has protein?


 
Henna *does not* have protein in it's make up, but it can act as a protein on some heads. People use henna for its strenghtening properites/benefits because the molecules of the plant become a part of your hair strand and "fills in the blanks" at points where the strand is or has become weak. Protein products are used for similar reasons.

You can use both henna and protein together (some people actually mix up henna w/ an egg...don't try that one at home ) and have no problems, but *on African textures I'd say put time between it. Let's say 2-4 weeks (or even more as needed) between a henna and a protein treatment*.

Almost anytime you see the word "fortifying", "strengthening", "reconstruct", "silk", "collagen", and certainly "keratin" you can be quite sure that is a product where protein is a feature. Not all proteins are as "hard" as others. I tend to stay in the "silk protein" neighborhood and rarely venture to Aphogee Two Step town. When I do Aphogee, I follow the directions *to the letter* and I have no problems, but I use it "as needed" but no more than this.


----------



## jamaraa (Nov 26, 2009)

bestblackgirl said:


> Plz make sure you detangle, wash your hair, and prepare your hair before you get a relaxer.
> Stupid me wore a full weaves for 2 months. *Took it out, and put on a relaxer the next day without even putting a comb in my hair. Can you say disaster? The girl put 2 full boxes of relaxer bc she said my hair went back to natural when I put the weave. Huh?
> I learned my lesson.* Make sure u relax at least 2 wks after u take out braids/weave. And detangle, wash and Deep Condition before you get a relaxer or putting back on braids/weave again.


 
Very good advice about waiting between braids/weaves/etc and a relaxer. For starters, you have to let your scalp rest after the take down process. 

I'm intrigued by this "natural" comment after only  2 months. LOL...that's way too short a time for you to be natural or even have major "stretching" ng. Was the stylist saying you had dreds and/or mats? *It perfectly possible to get dreds under weaves in such little time because your hair was undisturbed for that whole time. * 

I can't believe she used 2 boxes of relaxer on you....sheesh.   That sounds like a whole head relaxer and product overkill. I can't see that there's any reason to put an extra box of relaxer on unless your hair is super long and virgin. All you needed was some combs, oil, and water to rid yourself of you matted hair 1st. Her approach was pure Disaster City.


----------



## JollyGal (Nov 26, 2009)

Awesome thread. 

You know what's best for your hair so listen to it. PJisms are ok for short term but long term... I don't think so. 

Mix all natural products before putting it on to your hair (like bananas + honey lol).

Eat well sleep well live well and drink well

If you have extended hair take time when taking out the hair. Even if you have to cancel a social appointment to do your hair DO IT. Your hair will never forgive you if you yank it out


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## bestblackgirl (Nov 26, 2009)

jamaraa said:


> Very good advice about waiting between braids/weaves/etc and a relaxer. For starters, you have to let your scalp rest after the take down process.
> 
> I'm intrigued by this "natural" comment after only  2 months. LOL...that's way too short a time for you to be natural or even have major "stretching" ng. Was the stylist saying you had dreds and/or mats? *It perfectly possible to get dreds under weaves in such little time because your hair was undisturbed for that whole time. *
> 
> I can't believe she used 2 boxes of relaxer on you....sheesh.   That sounds like a whole head relaxer and product overkill. I can't see that there's any reason to put an extra box of relaxer on unless your hair is super long and virgin. All you needed was some combs, oil, and water to rid yourself of you matted hair 1st. Her approach was pure Disaster City.



I think it was all knotted bc I didn't comb for 2 months under the weave. So I guess all the shed hair and knot made it look very weird. I was 4 months after taking out the weave. It was dry and LOOKED like I was natural. But if I washed it, it would have turned back to normal relaxed look.


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## DaPPeR (Nov 26, 2009)

bumping...................


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## -Kąditty- (Nov 27, 2009)

Never fall asleep with an egg treatment in your hair. 

yea...that didn't end so well. My hair was soooo tangled and matted together...hard as a brick...just a mess. I had to cut most of it off.

I actually pitied myself and that is something I never do.


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## Chevelure618 (Nov 27, 2009)

Setback Preventor:

When you have a period of amazing progress, don't play in it, admire it, rollerset, flat-iron it to death.  Admire it thru a couple of shampoos (one week) and put it back up.  Try to ignore the new length and keep moisturizing the ends.


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## Live4Me (Nov 27, 2009)

This is a great thread!!! Since I am still new here, I will post about what I know are setbacks I had as a newbie:

1. Do NOT sit under the dryer with any combo of egg treatments. Breakfast in my hair. 
2. I always thought I was weird because my hair grew in a "V". You are not alone! One section/side of your hair MAY grow faster than another. You are not required to trim ALL uneveness. You can wait until all sections/sides of your hair are a certain length and then trim to the shortest section. **Or you can give straight styles a rest. Curly styles often mask uneven hair.** 
3. Cowashing and french braids are a lazy girl's dream. I know I looked a donkey at 25 wearing two french braids for 4 months every day but my hair recovered from excessive heat usage.
4. Lastly, PLEASE do SOMETHING to your hair while it's in a sew-in. Ignoring it is NOT an OPTION. Giving it "a rest" doesn't mean go on "hiatus"!!!


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## moonglowdiva (Nov 27, 2009)

Live4Me said:


> This is a great thread!!! Since I am still new here, I will post about what I know are setbacks I had as a newbie:
> 
> 1. *Do NOT sit under the dryer with any combo of egg treatments. Breakfast in my hair. *
> 2. I always thought I was weird because my hair grew in a "V". You are not alone! One section/side of your hair MAY grow faster than another. You are not required to trim ALL uneveness. You can wait until all sections/sides of your hair are a certain length and then trim to the shortest section. **Or you can give straight styles a rest. Curly styles often mask uneven hair.**
> ...


*@ bolded oh no you didn'terplexed I once forgot and rinsed my hair with warm water. I know we know now.*


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## laurend (Nov 27, 2009)

I'm late for this thread, anyway two thoughts:

1.  If you are having major hair loss, get to the doctor asap.  A lot of our members put this off looking for hair advice here and it might be the complete opposite of what is happening to you.
2.  Usually the KISS method is the best.  We don't see members losing hair from this.


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## LatterGlory (Nov 27, 2009)

prospurr4 said:


> I haven't read all of the responses, so hopefully my tips have not been mentioned:
> 
> 1) It takes time and patience to grow hair; there are no short-cuts. In fact, looking for a short-cut _may equal _looking for a setback.
> 
> ...


 
^^^ . If a straighter look is what you want try setting with really big rollers and then wrap. ( JMHO)


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## hillytmj (Nov 27, 2009)

I love this thread! Thanks for starting, Iris!

A few things I've learned:
-Like others, don't rush through your hair ritual or force yourself to do it when you are "tired." I haven't had a setback from this, but reading about other people who have suffered from setbacks in this area makes me feel better about being lazy some days.
-Don't be afraid to trim if you need to. I recently cut two inches necessarily, and it seemed to grow back pretty quickly. If had held onto those fried ends, I would have created a setback and possibly lost even more length.
-State your trimming wishes *before* a stylist starts working on your hair. I've no longer had the "surprise trim" every since I started telling them upfront, "no trim please" and reminding them when they sit me in the chair. 
-Frizzy, dry ends don't always = damaged ends. You may just need a good moisturizer.
-Finally, don't let someone else determine if "your ends are bad." That seems to be a stylist's trap for getting you to agree to an unnecessary trim.


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## LatterGlory (Nov 27, 2009)

Do a protein treatment ( I dc with AO GPB ) one week before and 1-2 weeks after you relax or texlax.

Protect already relaxed hair.

Section and detangle your hair and base your scalp before going to the salon for a relaxer.

Time your processing and *insist* the relaxer be washed out when time is up!

If at all possible go to the salon on a day when they're not usually busy. 

Never let an emotionally upset stylist in your hair, ( just reschedule ).


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## isabella09 (Nov 28, 2009)

Fantastic thread!


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## Zawaj (Dec 2, 2009)

Just bumping


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## testimony777 (Dec 2, 2009)

Chaosbutterfly said:


> Don't lie to yourself about your hair's limits.
> If you know that your hair hates glycerin, don't buy that glycerin-rich moisturizer and tell yourself that it'll be okay, just because you heard rave reviews about it. It's okay to put it down and walk away.
> 
> *If you know that your hair hates heat, don't flat iron on 400 degrees because it gives Mary beautiful results. *
> ...



I just want to second this, especially the bold portion. For us naturals who like to change it up and wear our hair straight it can feel like a defeating blow to find out that your hair really does not do well with heat. Once you figure this out though it is best to walk away from the flat iron. For some this may mean finding creative low heat ways of straightening but for other it may mean letting go of the sleek look all together. In the end, if your goal is to have healthy long hair, it is worth it. 

Also, stick to what works. If weekly deep treatments have played a crucial role in getting your hair healthy and helping you retaining length don't stop doing them because your hair looks great and it seems it doesn't need them anymore. The steps you've taken to get that beautiful head of hair are the steps you will likely need to keep in place to keep that beautiful head of hair.


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## goodmorningruby (Dec 20, 2009)

This is such a great thread, I wanted to BUMPPPPPPPPPPP


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## Minty (Jan 2, 2010)

bumping for the new year! "Let's be careful out there" - (for all you old heads. LOL)


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## Chevelure618 (Jan 2, 2010)

Schedule a *hair goal consultation *with a new stylist (free of course).  Bring in books, articles, quality products you are using and even growth progress shirts.  If they get defensive, don't trust them with your hair.  If they seem intrigued, or even impressed at your knowledge about healthy hair care you've got a keeper.

Make sure to tell them your definition of a "dusting".  I told a new stylist that I wanted to come to him but even if he didn't agree about the length of time between trims could he handle humoring me on that issue.  Be frank. Blunt. And don't be afraid of the smirks and laughter because those reactions are what's going to save your hair in the long run.  That's my setback prevention tip.


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## sky035 (Jan 2, 2010)

I used an at home colour (Clairol's Natural Instincts) that ruined my hair's texture and made my dry hair even more dry. After more than a year, I am still trimming off the damaged ends. For me and my hair, this caused a major setback.


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## LushLox (Jan 4, 2010)

This is a great thread! Should be a sticky - everyone should read it!!


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## ebonimama (Jan 4, 2010)

Simple regimen,

co-wash 1xweek, deep condition 20 minutes 1xweek, detangle under running water while rinsing out conditioner. Put hair in pony, baggy pony.  Tie down hair (air dry under scarf).  Go to bed.  Next morning throw on phony bun, pony, half wig and keep it moving.  Got me where I am today.


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## ProjectWLhair (Apr 7, 2010)

Awesome thread!!!


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## naturalgyrl5199 (Apr 8, 2010)

BUMP!
Thanks Irresistible!


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## naturalgyrl5199 (Apr 8, 2010)

testimony777 said:


> I just want to second this, especially the bold portion. For us naturals who like to change it up and wear our hair straight it can feel like a defeating blow to find out that your hair really does not do well with heat. Once you figure this out though it is best to walk away from the flat iron. For some this may mean finding creative low heat ways of straightening but for other it may mean letting go of the sleek look all together. In the end, if your goal is to have healthy long hair, it is worth it.
> 
> Also, stick to what works. If weekly deep treatments have played a crucial role in getting your hair healthy and helping you retaining length don't stop doing them because your hair looks great and it seems it doesn't need them anymore. *The steps you've taken to get that beautiful head of hair are the steps you will likely need to keep in place to keep that beautiful head of hair.*



Amen Amen Amen.....Its kind of like reaching your goal weight then you stop exercising and go back to your old unhealthy ways....You gotta keep up what got you there!


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## LivingDol1 (Apr 11, 2010)

bumping. this is a good thread.


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## Spring (Apr 11, 2010)

I don't think this has been mentioned, but if you like for your SO to massage your head, be careful.  This can lead to broken hairs over time.

Be sure when you are moisturizing your hair, not to forget to part and include all sections.  I wasn't doing this a couple of years ago and it lead to my crown being dry and broken.


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## lovinglength (Apr 11, 2010)

I'll give advice based on my actual experience. Please, pllleeaasseee thoroughly research a stylist b4 trusting ur hair with them. Ask them lots of questions on their techniques, products they use and ask to see pictures, even talk with long time clients of theirs if possible. One visit to an inexperienced, cocky or distracted stylist can cause damage to the hair and a long term setback. If u notice the stylist is too chatty, be careful...she might not be focusing all of her attention to your hair. Also, it's easy to get lazy with your hair when ur really busy (kids, work, school). Always try to find time to wash, moisturize and style ur hair. Find styles that are low manipulation but still hair friendly. Don't leave braids, weaves in for too long. And think positive thoughts about your hair. Send your hair and scalp good vibes, even during times of frustration and boredom.  Positive energy bring about positive reality.   Happy growing!


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## Janet' (Apr 13, 2010)




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## 30something (Apr 13, 2010)

Someone already said this, its true! BE REAL with your hair and your direct heat usage. (This is mostly direct to the relaxed ladies since this is from personal experience)

Your hair does not have to look prefect all the time. I repeat! Your hair does not have to look prefect all the time! If the only way you have learn to enjoy your hair is by using direct heat every weekly, bi weekly, then you probably need to find an alternative. So you can either reduce heat usage or stop completely. Once you put down the iron, blow dryer, you'll find alternatives. 

This caused me a set back, always wanting silky bouncy flat iron hair, eventually from not trimming and using direct heat, my ends got angry. Now that I got a fresh trim, improved my air drying skills, honestly my hair looks betterand now I can have a waaay more healthier regimen.

Direct heat can promote bad regimens, our a regimen that is not best for YOU. Instead of building a regimen for complete retention, you have to build a regimen around the fact you use direct heat AND retention. Also to persevere straight many deep condition less frequently, skip moisturizing to not weight down hair, totally skip co washing, a lot of manipulation,  and more protein (not saying these are we all NEED to do) to try to compensated for the damage that may occur from frequent direct heat, or attempting to prevent damage.

MANY people hair strive from direct heat use, relax or natural but keep in mind, that Afro texture hair is the most driest and fragile hair out there. Our hair isn't made of steel. All the precautionary steps, solution, remedies we learn on here sometimes can NOT prevent the enable. 360 degree, is 360 degree even with Chi infusion. I'm not saying heat damage = set back, but please look at the entire picture and your options.

If you grow your hair out using direct heat frequently consider your self LUCKY!!


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## grow (Apr 19, 2010)

i so agree with you ladies about the heat issue!

this is a great thread, *Irresistable*, thanks for starting it!

since i stopped using heat in november of 2009, my hair has gotten past the SL stump and is well on to APL!

if i want the straight look (i am texlaxed), i just wrap my hair while it's wet and let it air dry. it comes out just as straight as it has in the past when i've used the blow dryer, flat iron and hot rollers....but without the damage.

when seeking bouncier, wavier, more curled looks, roller setting is a great option!


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## Sondice (Apr 19, 2010)

From my personal experience...

1. Don't let the hairdresser relax from root to tip. Just because I had a little more new growth than she was use to dealing with, she pulled the relaxer all the way to the ends. And of course I didn't know that that was a no no, so I didn't say ne thing. To make a long story short, I lost nearly all my hair. A setback that took me 2 years to correct

2. Also I want to re-iterate again. SPEAK UP. If a stylist is doing something that you don't agree with (wants to give u a trim, is really rough when combing, pulling the relaxer all the way to the ends) Tell them to stop. I know it sounds like common sense but sometimes people, myself included think that stylists are all knowing, and truth is a lot of them aren't. You know more about your hair than anyone else can because its YOURS. You live with it everyday.

3. If it aint broke, don't fix it. I know its prob been said in this tread b4 but is so important to say again. If what you're doing for your hair is working (as in its healthy, well moisturized, not breaking, and excessively sheading) leave your reggie alone, Don't change it up so drastically cause this will ultimately result in some kind of setback.

4. Last but no least, b4 you make any kind of major hair decision remember you have your sisters here @ LHCF to ask for advice. Sometimes you think u might something sounds like a good idea. But its good to get advice from an un-biased source. We're all here to help each other. 

Lol ok I've talked enough, that's all for now


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## *crystal* (Apr 19, 2010)

Thanks! How many times have I done this...?


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## Missigirl (Apr 19, 2010)

Don't be afraid to change your reggie as your hair get longer if you need to.  The longer and healthier mine gets the less protein it needs or wants.  Now all my hair seems to like is moisture my hair hates air drying.  I did a major no no.... which was scheduling protein even though I DID not need it....this is what I believe caused all of the shedding and breaking..... I am thinner but wiser.... KNOW HOW TO LISTEN TO YOUR HAIR


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## VirtuousBeauty (Apr 20, 2010)

This is a great thread. I'm a newbie to this site as I've made the decision to become a DIY and take better care of my hair. I have used the threads listed here for self relaxing and trimming and plan on building up my own hair regimen. This thread has been very helpful


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## luvn_life (Apr 20, 2010)

irresistible said:


> I do the same thing, I* dont touch my hair to do it from scratch until  I am really ready for it*



Me neither... Since I am strec=tching and out of laziness I have been stretching wash days to 2 weeks instead of 5-7 days. An dto be honest, my hair is thriving off of it. I just wear braidouts now.


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## locabouthair (Apr 20, 2010)

Avoid putting any stress or tension to your hair. Don't wear your hair pulled back all the time. Your hairline might get damaged.

Dont let everyone and they mama in your hair.


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## LaFemmeNaturelle (Jun 17, 2010)

bumping for newbies and others who are interested


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## divachyk (Jun 17, 2010)

newbie here. subscribing. thx for post.


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## innerbeautyy (Jun 18, 2010)

Newbie as well. Great thread!


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## belldandy (Jun 18, 2010)

sheba1 said:


> When removing a sew-in or extensions when your hair will be braided for an extended period of time, always always fully detangle and remove all shed hair before washing.



THIS is worth quoting.

what a great thread!


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## Katherina (Jun 18, 2010)

Lisaaa Bonet said:


> I used an at home colour (*Clairol's Natural Instincts*) that *ruined my hair's texture and made my dry hair even more dry*. *After more than a year, I am still trimming off the damaged ends*. For me and my hair, this caused a major setback.



 This happened to me as well with this hair color, pre-LHCF. The week after putting it in, my hair was gorgeous. But it all went downhill after that. I couldn't understand why my texture had changed or why my strands had different thicknesses. My hair never went back to normal - it had to grow out.


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## Gigi-07 (Jun 18, 2010)

From my setback a year ago, I learned:

1. I started slacking with moisture. Never start slacking. It has been mentioned before in this thread, but it's worth saying again...like the comparison to weight loss, you have to maintain your hair like you would maintain your body. Don't get too comfortable (actually don't get comfortable at all) and start making stupid blunders.

2. I was using the wrong moisturizers. The right moisturizer MATTERS. This and conditioners I would say one needs to spend the most time researching, because a lot of ladies use these two types of products the most. You're gonna be applying this product every day, sometimes twice a day...make sure you get it right.

3. Wearing tight ponytails. Tension=breakage. Not hard to understand. moving on...

4. Sleeping with an uncovered head 70% of the time. Again, laziness.

5. and doing whatever I learned a few long-haired ladies do (certain products were useless to me *coughNTM silk touch leave-incough* and I should have never stopped daily co-washing!).
This can't be said enough: if it ain't broke, don't fix...some things are not for everybody.

6. I was using heavy cone products. I've found over the past several years being on hair boards that cones tend to be a love it or hate it type thing...and chances are, if you don't know whether your hair likes them or not, I'd bet it probably doesn't. Don't underestimate what one or two extra ingredients in a "great product" can do to your hair.

7. I was using low quality products. My hair needs HIGH quality products, and in larger amounts. Some people can't do the cheapie thing. If your hair is not responding to the Suaves, V05s, White Rains, leave the $0.99 bottles alone.

8. I stopped relaxing with No-Lye, LYE ONLY now. Those mineral deposits are very, VERY drying. At one point, I wasn't even convinced chelating shampoo was doing much to help. 

9. Wet buns are NOT for me. Not at all. My hair is too weak when it’s more than 30% wet, especially for long periods of time. This is also the reason why I don’t baggy, too much moisture. My strands just expand and expand and then *Pop*. Instead, I do a low, very loose braid while my hair is drying, and when it is dry or mostly dry, I will then bun.
SOME LADIES CANNOT handle wet-bunning! It may very well be few of us, seeing as so many ladies on LHCF love it, but a few of us can't do it. If you find your hair is thinning, especially in the area where your pony holder and clip goes, you probably need to stop the wet bunning.

10. NO PINS are good for my hair, not even the Good Day kind.
PINS are NOT for everyone.

11. DIRECT HEAT IS MY ENEMY. It has been said before in this thread, don't underestimate what a plate heated to several hundred degrees fahrenheit can do to your hair. It will burn/boil/fry/cook/bake/grill/bbq most hair to nothingness eventually.

12. I wasn’t sealing. *crazy, I know* Please take sealing VERY seriously ladies, it’s stupid not to. Anything you apply will evaporate like you never even put it on your head, making your efforts completely worthless.

13. Some ladies NEED heavy products. I have that dry, crispy, crackly 4b hair. Lol. I NEED thick moisturizers. I NEED thick sealants. I NEED lots of leave-in, coated with MORE leave-in. THEN, and only then, my hairs are satisfied. lol. None of this “dime-sized amount” stuff, I need 2 full palms of product. Some of y'all know what I'm talking about. lol.

14. I started to DC more since I upped the co-washing. Always remember to maintain the moisture-protein balance, keep a close eye on it, it's THE MOST crucial thing to watch!

15. This is a list I formerly wrote for my fotki, so this 15th tip is added just for you who post and seek information here.

I like hair typing. I'm not ashamed to hair type. and I don't see it as discrimination, or "hair-ism" (for lack of a better word, since some have likened it to colorism ), or being hung up on differences.
It's narrowing down the search of what works and what doesn't by observing those who are working with something similar to what you've got. These recent discussions on the "issue" have me puzzled.

Question: If hair type _really_ didn't matter, would we even need a black hair board?  Hair is hair, right? Why not just go to a predominantly white hair board and only ask their advice? _Because their hair is not like mine._ It's all dead protein, yes, but when you've got such a _vast array_ of curls, texures, densities to search through... It's impractical and frankly stupid to think someone should start from scratch and formulate a regimen from every random head, haphazardly testing everything, trial and error, from doing type 3 things to type 4 hair...just doesn't make sense. Every now and then the same things will work, but let's be honest here...we have distinct differences that need to be treat differently.
No, not all type 4whatevers are the same, but they are sure much more similar in many ways. Typing a lot times cuts down on unneeded heartache. Categorizing makes sense. 

So, my advice to the newbies, those having hair problems, and those who've suffered setbacks...don't be afraid to seek advice from those with your hair type. Take all advice with a grain of salt, but don't be discouraged if you're a 3c natural, to contact a 3c natural and ask that 3c natural, or several of them, what they do and why. Same for fine haired ladies, or silky-haired  ladies.


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## simplyhair (Jun 18, 2010)

*Hard Water​*
This was my biggest setback and lost at least 3 to 4 inches.  The signs were extremely dry, sticky/velcro hair.  I mean, the entire hair strands would be *stuck* together.  You could see and feel the mineral deposits on my hair.  

No moisturizer or DC could penetrate thru that stuff.  Just think about the hard water stains you see on your sinks and fixtures at home.  That stuff was on my hair.  

Then I would jump on the bandwagon with Roux Pororsity Control, Vinegar rinse, clarifying all the time (making it drier) and cold water rinse...you name it.  

*Please do not go for an extremely long period of time trying all of these fixes I mentioned above even if you SUSPECT you have hard water. * I have washed my hair for over three years in hard water and I paid for it.

Once i did a Malibu 2000 Crystal Gel Treatment at the salon, my hair *TOTALLY *thanked me.  My hair no longer is tangled, it's much lighter and stays moisturized for days.  It has really nice body. 

I have HIH syndrome and keep checking and feeling my hair because it doesn't even feel like it's mine.

EDITED:  I forgot to add that I no longer have broken hairs all over the sink and floor.

*EDITED AGAIN*:  Before sending anyone off on the wrong path, I had to confirm with the Malibu Wellness folks about clarifying.  I didn't want my post to sound like clarifying/chelating poos & PC are not necessary.  Those things just would not combat the effects of hard water.

I sent them an email today asking should I just get rid of my Clarifying Poos thinking that the mini makeover regimen they gave me would *replace the purpose *of the clarifying poo. 

Their response:

No, actually and clarifying shampoo is not the same as our vitamin technology. *Clarifiers remove resin (styling products) from the hair with a alkaline pH *and our vitamin technology (mini makeover) *removes minerals, medication and stop oxidation with an acidic pH*…so *they really do different things*. You should only use a clarifier once a week at the most and you can use our vitamin technology as often as you want….if you still have questions just let me know. Hope this helped you better understand the difference between the two. 

I *do not *agree with clarifying once a week though.  I believe others on the board would agree with this as well.


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## Bublin (Jun 18, 2010)

I found this homemade Malibu Treatment

http://www.ehow.co.uk/how_5071105_make-homemade-malibu-treatments-hair.html

I wonder if it will do the job?


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## simplyhair (Jun 18, 2010)

Bublin said:


> I found this homemade Malibu Treatment
> 
> http://www.ehow.co.uk/how_5071105_make-homemade-malibu-treatments-hair.html
> 
> I wonder if it will do the job?



There is a bigger thread on "thriftyfun something website" that recommends the same thing (lemonade).

But at the bottom of the thread, someone said NOT to use it on dark hair because I guess it will turn it orange or something.  So, I'm a little too scared to try it.  I wonder if the people who did use the lemonade were actually blondes.  Therefore, the possible lightening from the lemonade would make their hair look great.


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## NIN4eva (Jun 18, 2010)

Great post Gigi-07! I couldn't agree more.


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## Carisa (Nov 25, 2010)

In 2008 my hair was shoulder lenght and I started to wear it out for the first time in years- this is when i recieved the biggest set back that caused me to cut it to ear lenght.  First i wanted to relax and color it, then off course it started to break off so i decided to get a sew in to help (which it didnt) and even more hair came out due to the sew in weave becoming fused in with my hair. In aug 2009 i finally cut it all off and its been growing ever since.
I always had sl hair before i cut it last year and i always wondered why it didnt get any longer even though ive never been a person to perm regularly, never used heat, i rarely trimmed it, i washed and conditioned it in between sew-ins, and kept my hair braided 90% of the time.  
Things ive now learned to do are seal, i also stopped using no-lye relaxers, started deep conditioning and leaving my conditioner on my hair longer, and i also changed my techniques- instead of wearing sew-ins i started wearing cornrows and wigs to cover because I noticed i wasnt able to get to my hair underneath the sew-ins. I also started to do my own relaxers and only apply it to the new growth. I now use better products (esp. conditoners),  I completely stopped using pink lotion, hair grease, gel, spritz and started using oils such as olive, coconut and castor oil, sulfur ect.  And last but not least i started taking my vitamins regularly.


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## Janet' (Nov 25, 2010)

This is a great thread for newbies and veterans alike!!!


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## frida1980 (Nov 25, 2010)

Nice thread. Here's mine.

1. When you first start out always make adjustments to your current routine, do not drastically change your regimen based on things you heard from other people. Consider learning how to stretch your relaxers, or changing your shampoo and conditioner. Those first few months are about learning about your hair and knowing what helps it.

2. Set a hair goal, find a picture of that goal as a reminder. This will help you stay on your regimen. 

3. Get used to examining your hair. Look at the ends for damage, look at areas for breakage. Touch it for dryness. Examine thin areas. If your seeing small problems now, you may need to change something to prevent it from becoming a set back.

4. Neither natural hair or relaxed hair is invincible. Do not think that once you change your hair to that style that you can suddenly do what ever you want. You hair is very delicate in all states and needs to be handled gentle. Avoid lots of tension, heat, rods, products or styles. Keep It Simple Stupid: KISS

5. Find 4 or 5 simple styles that you can wear everyday. This is help you avoid causing too much stress on your hair in one style and help cure you of your boredom.

6. Use heatless ways of styling your hair for special occasions. Bantu knot outs, curlformers, etc. Saves your hair.

7. Use heat sprays and serums. You'll eventually find the balance that won't make your hair sticky, but these will protect you in the long run.

8. What works for other people may not work for you, and vise versa. If your hair is BSL and you press every week and don't bun, you or they may be the exception to the rule.

9. Trim it. Just do it. Even though you'll lose a little progress, you'll lose a lot more if you decide to avoid it.

10. Find a stylist that won't scalp you, but also touches your hair and tells you where the damage is and what needs to be done. A second pair of eyes can help you catch where you been causing damage with bad habits.

11. Don't be LAZY! A missed DC, missed trim, sporadic scar usage, and doing the same style over and over will wreck your progress.

12. Patience. It's the only thing that's going to get it longer. Patience with detangling, with styling, with conditioning, and with growth all together. If you have that, you'll have the hair you've always wanted.


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## ajoke (Nov 25, 2010)

Great thread!!!!


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## ATLcutey20 (Nov 25, 2010)

Loved this thread! thank OP!

I had a setback recently (still learning). I know i'm a newbie, but if i can save one hair on your head..i've done my job lol!

-When moisture DCing on dry hair..DO NOT think that you can skip conditioner after pooing because you already "conditioned it". 

I don't know what i was thinking getting out the shower and trying to detangle! I lost more hair than necessary. 

*If DCing on dry hair, wash it, AND then use a conditoner again so you can detangle it.*


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## Nixx22jam (Nov 26, 2010)

jamaraa said:


> *Almost anytime you see the word "fortifying", "strengthening", "reconstruct", "silk", "collagen", and certainly "keratin" you can be quite sure that is a product where protein is a feature. Not all proteins are as "hard" as others.*


 I did not know this. Had an inkling but im glad I know now.


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## bahamababe242 (Dec 3, 2010)

great thread...BUMP!!!!!!!


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## Shinka (Dec 4, 2010)

I read this thread in one sitting. It has def. convinced to take out this "protective style" braids that has thinned my edges (which took me 6 months to grow back from my last braid installation....SETBACK) and has cause bumps in my nape. I was trying to hold on cause my "middle" of my hair is fine, I wanted a break from styling and figured I'll address this issue later. Now, I see that's not in my scalp or hair's best interest...

Things I've learned over 8 years of my hair journey:

1) It's okay to like short hair. I originally came to this site because I am obsessed with hair and wanted to grow it long. Along the journey I realized... I love bobs, short cuts (like in my avatar). I think it compliments my personality, face and suits me. Tips I learned here and from Cathy Howse have helped me to maintain healthy "short/med" hair. Maybe one day I'll grow it to longer lengths. I'm actually striving for an even should length bob. (my shero/hair inspiration is Michelle Obama's current style)

2) Going natural: I'm glad I did it although I have completely BC'ed about 7 times in the past 8 years or so (yes, straight cut it all off about 7 times). My hair would be to my waist by now if I just made a decision eitherway. I would grow to like 5-6 inches, would have a relaxer set back, then cut it all off saying I need to be natural anyway lol.

Also, I had a difficult time between the mental challenge of Black pride and trying to have my hair reflect my values with my preference for straight/rollerset styles. I finally realize that though I learned "kink" is not the end of the world and how to have my natural hair flourish-I don't dig twist, cornrows, afros for too long. I really do like rollersets and wraps. So whats best for my hair is learning to have healthy relax hair (although I understand chemically altered hair isn't "healthy"). I do believe in doing whats best for me and my lifestyle and I not longer feel that I am "selling out". So I can wear my nubian prints, attend my african dances classes, and rock a relaxer and I'm okay with that now.

_Part B:_ If you are natural and frustrated, do not run to CVS and get a box perm.  I knew my fine medium hair didn't thrive on No lye, but I felt so stressed and need to feel okay with my hair. If you are deciding to change a style (relax to natural, natural to relax, to braid or not braid etc...) Try to wait 24hrs and plan properly. I am now dealing with 2 inches of thinning no lye hair and about 2 inches of stronger LYE hair at the roots. I created this "challenge". I may just sacrifice the "length" to get rid of the frustration.

3) As another said, DIY is not always the best. I have learned that I shouldn't self relax. My hair thrives and does much better when someone else (with experience) applies my relaxer. Out of cheapness and a need for control..._If someone messes it up it might as well be me_....I have "thinned" out my hair and over processed it. Now I am going to to budget for professional touch-ups, but bring my own lye relaxers.

4) Family stylists are great,but know their limits. My cousin does great weaves, braids, and relaxes HER hair perfectly...but having her relax and _"style"_, i.e. cut my hair, was a disaster. She cut my hair so uneven, I lost 6 months worth of growth after I had to have a professional fix it. Lesson: don't allow people to experiment on your hair because they are good at other things. Play to their strenghts..lol otherwise ask to see proof that they know how to do what your asking. This is really for any stylist, not just the "home" stylist.

5) Despite my above setbacks. I learned that KISS is the best. I have grown my hair from TWAs to about 5-6 inches in a year as well as thickened edges by simply washing twice a week, DC'ing 1x week (alternating protein and mositurizing conditions), rollersetting after every wash or airdrying then pressing with a curling iron (Cathy howse method) once a week. Then,  creme moisturizing or spraying UBH Dew 2x day and pin curling at night. No protective styles, and wearing it out every day.

It's only when I get lazy and move from this by using the curling iron too much or stop DC'ing that my hair gets damaged or starts breaking.

My aplogies for the long post. Just wanted to add to this thread. It also was very therapeutic because it helped me realize I have all this knowledge and just need to stick the KISS plan to achieve my hair goals. Sometimes the best choice is the obvious choice. 

*Ultimate setback lesson:* Don't be afraid to LET GO!!! It's just hair, it really will grow back


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## freckledface (Dec 28, 2012)

Bumping for all us newbies


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## Destiny9109 (May 23, 2014)

Bumping this helpful thread


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## krikit96 (May 24, 2014)

I just read this entire thread... Took me 2 hours, but I can't believe this ain't a sticky!!!


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## havilland (May 24, 2014)

krikit96 said:


> I just read this entire thread... Took me 2 hours, but I can't believe this ain't a sticky!!!



I agree.  Mods can we make a sticky???


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## LuciaAbigail (Jun 10, 2014)

bump bump bump!


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## caribeandiva (Jun 10, 2014)

How did I miss this thread? Thank you OP for starting it.


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## felic1 (Jun 10, 2014)

This thread is nice. I am glad it was bumped.


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## caribeandiva (Jun 10, 2014)

Ganjababy said:


> *Prevention is better than cure*-
> For people who are susceptible to anemia make sure you check your HB regularly and take regular essential supplements and nutrients. Always investigate excessive hair shedding, find the root cause. Get your ferritin levels checked also because your HB may be within an acceptable range due to compensatory mechanisms but your ferritin levels may be low and you could still be anemic.
> Evsbaby
> 
> ...


  my most serious setback was caused by this. Ladies take this advice seriously.


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## Kinky4Agirl (Jun 10, 2014)

Irresistible said:


> when bored with your hair and/or frustrated, or if your going through something stressful in your life , be careful to not take out life and your emotions out on your hair,  when feeling that ansy feeling to do something drastic,  try to sit it out for as long as you can-most times it passes anyway and you will be glad you did
> 
> will add more here later



Girl preach! I've had two setbacks due to my own decision to cut my hair short when I was on my period. I mean I even shaved one side of my head one time when I was pms'ng.. I cut my hair twice and each time I was going through hormonal changes. If you cut your hair and then two days later regret it, I consider that a self imposed setback. Please ladies be aware of this and what Irresistible and the others have said... it is so true!!!


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## Evolving78 (Jun 10, 2014)

simplyhair said:


> Hard Water
> 
> This was my biggest setback and lost at least 3 to 4 inches.  The signs were extremely dry, sticky/velcro hair.  I mean, the entire hair strands would be stuck together.  You could see and feel the mineral deposits on my hair.
> 
> ...



I will be buying a shower filter this coming winter. That water was so rough on my family's skin and hair! I don't know what to do about the tub. I don't think I can afford a water softener.


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## Evolving78 (Jun 10, 2014)

simplyhair said:


> Hard Water
> 
> This was my biggest setback and lost at least 3 to 4 inches.  The signs were extremely dry, sticky/velcro hair.  I mean, the entire hair strands would be stuck together.  You could see and feel the mineral deposits on my hair.
> 
> ...



I agree to the hard water and shampoos. I used everything as well.


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## Evolving78 (Jun 10, 2014)

20Something said:


> Someone already said this, its true! BE REAL with your hair and your direct heat usage. (This is mostly direct to the relaxed ladies since this is from personal experience)
> 
> Your hair does not have to look prefect all the time. I repeat! Your hair does not have to look prefect all the time! If the only way you have learn to enjoy your hair is by using direct heat every weekly, bi weekly, then you probably need to find an alternative. So you can either reduce heat usage or stop completely. Once you put down the iron, blow dryer, you'll find alternatives.
> 
> ...



I can use direct heat, but can only be done on clean hair. I agree with everything you said. I decided to use my spray leave in instead of the creme one. My hair was straighter and lighter. It held up better to humidity. I will go back to using that in the winter. I also use a heat protectant serum. Wrapping my hair nightly too helps preserve my style. I went back to using no lye too. lye was leaving way too much texture that wasn't consistent throughout. I don't have much shedding either anymore.


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## Evolving78 (Jun 10, 2014)

Chevelure618 said:


> Schedule a hair goal consultation with a new stylist (free of course).  Bring in books, articles, quality products you are using and even growth progress shirts.  If they get defensive, don't trust them with your hair.  If they seem intrigued, or even impressed at your knowledge about healthy hair care you've got a keeper.
> 
> Make sure to tell them your definition of a "dusting".  I told a new stylist that I wanted to come to him but even if he didn't agree about the length of time between trims could he handle humoring me on that issue.  Be frank. Blunt. And don't be afraid of the smirks and laughter because those reactions are what's going to save your hair in the long run.  That's my setback prevention tip.



I've had a few stylists laugh at me about dusting! Lol and laugh about me wanting a consultation. It wasn't normal for them and they felt like I was questioning their expertise.


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## havilland (Jun 11, 2014)

shortdub78 said:


> I've had a few stylists laugh at me about dusting! Lol and laugh about me wanting a consultation. It wasn't normal for them and they felt like I was questioning their expertise.



Then run....


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## caribeandiva (Jun 11, 2014)

Lessons learned so far other than keeping your anemia in check:

-get a shower filter. It will keep your hair and skin from getting dried out by chemicals in the water supply.
-Do not detangle wet hair with your denman brush. It ripped my hair out and kept me at the same length for a year and a half. At least remove half the rows if you can't stop using it altogether.
-if you keep having setbacks then go see a doctor. It could be health related.


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## caribeandiva (Jun 14, 2014)

A note about hair color:

You CAN bleach or color your hair and not end up bald. How? 

1: Make sure your hair has no other chemicals in it. 
2. Go to a highly recommended professional hair stylist. 
3. Don't do any other chemical treatments to your hair at all (don't re-bleach your hair, relax, texturize or perm it) until it's totally grown out. Only your stylist is allowed to do your root touchups.
*4. You must practically be an expert at hair care, not a newbie* because you need to know how to care for your hair. The protein moisture balance is key.
5. Deep condition like your (hair) life depended on it because it does. 
6. Moisture moisture moisture! Color dries out hair so you must get good at keeping your hair moisturized.
7. Limit heat even more. Color weakens your hair so you must be extra gentle with it.
8. Be extra gentle with your hair. This bears repeating. It's important enough to have it's own bulletpoint. 

Colored hair is high maintenance hair. It's not for the lazy or the faint of heart. If that's the route you choose to take, proceed with caution.


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## LushLox (Apr 7, 2018)

Bumping this great thread.


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## IDareT'sHair (Apr 7, 2018)

LushLox said:


> *Bumping this great thread.*


@LushLox
You can't be bumpin' nothin' w/o leaving a Tip!


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## LushLox (Apr 7, 2018)

IDareT'sHair said:


> @LushLox
> You can't be bumpin' nothin' w/o leaving a Tip!



The lovely ladies have already said it all, nothing more for me to add other than read the *whole* informative thread!


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## sunnieb (Apr 7, 2018)

Great bump!

My tip has been stated, but I'll reiterate. 

If you try a new product and your hair rejects it, DUMP IT!

When I first joined the board, Aussie conditioner was huge.  Everyone seemed to love it as a cowash.  My hair hated it.  I had so many tangles that I lost a ball of hair by the time I was done.  I tried to give it to family members, but they didn't want to touch it after my experience - I told them that their hair could love it. 

I threw the bottle away and never looked back.


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## IDareT'sHair (Apr 8, 2018)

My Tip:

Catch & Rectify Set-Backs quickly.  If you think you are experiencing a Set-Back then you probably are.  

Don't play around with it or try to deny it.

Catch it, Correct it, Nip it in the Bud.


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## LushLox (Apr 8, 2018)

Be *solution focused* and positive. Don't dwell on the negatives, even with the setbacks when you experience it. Put a plan of action into place to correct it, and be consistent.


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## LonDone (Apr 8, 2018)

*GREAT BUMP!*

Don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask for specific answers to a specific problem.

I joined the board a few years ago; my hair grew long, grew thick, grew fast. I then became ill. I waited A YEAR to see a doctor (a previous male doctor put me off going for 10+ years) ...long story short I lost a good third of my hair through shedding. Maybe 40%.

If I had not been so proud I would have asked my lhcf sisters who had never done me wrong before and would have steered me through that too.

My hair was SHOUTING that there was a problem but I just wasn't trying to hear it.


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## FlawedBeauty (Apr 8, 2018)

sunnieb said:


> Great bump!
> 
> My tip has been stated, but I'll reiterate.
> 
> ...


So funny I just bought this last week and hated it.  I tried it long ago and didn't like but I was like let me revisit.  Still made my hair feel gross.  No slip nothing.  I gotta toss it.


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## sunnieb (Apr 8, 2018)

FlawedBeauty said:


> So funny I just bought this last week and hated it.  I tried it long ago and didn't like *but I was like let me revisit.*  Still made my hair feel gross.  No slip nothing.  I gotta toss it.



See!  That's what I'm talmbout! 

Through that stuff out.....NOW!


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