# So I wrote a resignation letter to my pastor today



## PassionFruit (Mar 13, 2008)

I have been having growing concerns about certain things that have been happening at my church...  but I LOVE my church so I stuck it out... but then yet another thing happened and I decided to walk away... not from THE CHURCH but fro this particular sanctuary...  though I felt a lot of spiritual growth there, too many things happen on a regular basis that break my spirit and IMO, the pastor is more concerned with his vision of filling all of the pews than the quality of the flock

despite ALL of that, I have been crying all day...  Doesnt help this is Lenten season

I need to find a new place of worship soon but I havent lived in this area long and dont really know anyone to ask


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## PaperClip (Mar 13, 2008)

I'm sorry you're going through that. If you wouldn't mind sharing, what things are going on that are concerning you?

Also, I'm glad you had the presence of mind to inform your pastor about your concerns.


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## growth2come (Mar 13, 2008)

I am sorry to read of your troubles. It sounds as if you maybe going through something and although you dont have to say if you dont want to...if you need a bit of emotional support is there someone you could call or anything and just talk it out...that usually makes people feel better to let it out...


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## PassionFruit (Mar 13, 2008)

RelaxerRehab said:


> I'm sorry you're going through that. If you wouldn't mind sharing, what things are going on that are concerning you?
> 
> Also, I'm glad you had the presence of mind to inform your pastor about your concerns.



I attend a church that 80% of the members are 2nd and 3rd generationers...  but the church is growing fast and the old-timers ( not necessarily older folks) are pretty territorial...  I dont do well with cliques and such so I guess I dont fit in

Im pretty upset now so Im not thinking clearly but there are a LOT of little incidents and things I am tired of closing my eyes to

I guess I can elaborate more later


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## PaperClip (Mar 13, 2008)

PassionFruit said:


> I attend a church that 80% of the members are 2nd and 3rd generationers... but the church is growing fast and the old-timers ( not necessarily older folks) are pretty territorial... I dont do well with cliques and such so I guess I dont fit in
> 
> Im pretty upset now so Im not thinking clearly but there are a LOT of little incidents and things I am tired of closing my eyes to
> 
> I guess I can elaborate more later


 
Ok... as you feel comfortable and up to it to share.... Be sober-minded about what the church is supposed to be for you.... I can say this because I am in a similar conflict....


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## BlkOnyx488 (Mar 13, 2008)

I had a smilar situation with my church of almost 10 years recently.  Lately I have been just attending small bible studies from a group I found at meetup.com.  You maybe able to find something local in your area using that website.  I have been very happy with just discussing God's Word and not getting caught up in all the extras that come with being affliated with a church.  I believe God will lead me tothe proper house of worship and for now I am where I need to be.

I do understand the struggle and the pain associated with leaving your church, but remember that sinsation that you have in your heart that is tellling you what you are hearing is not of God, that voice is speaking to you for a reason.  I pray that you find a spritual home that will give you what you need to build a relationship with God.
Amen


PassionFruit said:


> I have been having growing concerns about certain things that have been happening at my church... but I LOVE my church so I stuck it out... but then yet another thing happened and I decided to walk away... not from THE CHURCH but fro this particular sanctuary... though I felt a lot of spiritual growth there, too many things happen on a regular basis that break my spirit and IMO, the pastor is more concerned with his vision of filling all of the pews than the quality of the flock
> 
> despite ALL of that, I have been crying all day... Doesnt help this is Lenten season
> 
> I need to find a new place of worship soon but I havent lived in this area long and dont really know anyone to ask


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## PassionFruit (Mar 14, 2008)

here is a thread I wrote about a month or so ago on another forum that explains soem of my issues

http://forum.blackhairmedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=115406


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## PaperClip (Mar 14, 2008)

So I read through the other thread and it sounds like the issues are not from the pastor, but from the people.... Unless your concern is that the pastor's leadership lacks consistency and authority.

Again, just like the posters said on the other board, seek the Lord, talk to your pastor face-to-face before you make a move.


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## GodsPromises (Mar 14, 2008)

Girl,

I just read your other post are you by chance in Delaware because that sounds like my former church.

Seriously, I understand how you feel.  I stayed at my church for 5 years choosing to overlook some things but I finally had to leave.  It was a little easier for me to leave because my husband had left a year before but I was still involved in ministries at the church and didn't want to leave.  I truly fought the move teeth and nail because it was home and I was conformable there.

Pray about it and do what the Lord tellls you to do.



PassionFruit said:


> here is a thread I wrote about a month or so ago on another forum that explains soem of my issues
> 
> http://forum.blackhairmedia.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=115406


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## PassionFruit (Mar 14, 2008)

RelaxerRehab said:


> So I read through the other thread and it sounds like the issues are not from the pastor, but from the people.... Unless your concern is that the pastor's leadership lacks consistency and authority.
> 
> Again, just like the posters said on the other board, seek the Lord, talk to your pastor face-to-face before you make a move.




my only concern with the pastor is that he is too busy with expansion projects and other church business that the drama from the other people is getting overlooked... and the drama from the other people is breaking my Spirit


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## PassionFruit (Mar 14, 2008)

LadyR said:


> Girl,
> 
> I just read your other post are you by chance in Delaware because that sounds like my former church.
> 
> ...



Im praying on it....  and a couple of friends of mine from the church called me to pray on it because they expressed having the same issues... One even told me she called the pastor just yesterday to speak on it and is awaiting his return call

BTW, the church is in Baltimore not Delaware


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## Ms.Honey (Mar 17, 2008)

Hi passionfruit. You've prayed to the Lord and you know that he's heard your prayer and will answer you. The Lord say that the head of every woman is man which in my case is my husband. It doesn't mean that he's more important to God than I am nor smarter nor does it mean that God sees me as less than my husband. He says that He has set the whole world under authority and that even He has placed Himself under the authority of His Word.That's just simply the Order of God. When I come across difficult situations or need an answer from the Lord in general, My prayer to the Lord is," Lord, you told me through your Word that when I need answers to go to my next line of authority. Lord, I need an answer concerning such a such and I pray that you speak to my through him, In Jesus' name Amen". I always pray first before I speak to my husband. I want to make sure that I'm hearing from the Lord and not getting my husbands personal opinion on the matter. This was one of the HARDEST things I ever had to do I felt like my soul was being ripped out of my body the first few times I did it. Shoot, after all I'm an intelligent woman with a very capable mind to make a decision on my own I don't need to ask anybody let alone a man for advise about anything, right But I wanted His counsel and that the system he set up to protect me so......
Do you have a husband, dad, eldest brother or uncle you can talk to? Sorry, I didn't mean to preach a sermon


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## blazingthru (Mar 19, 2008)

I know how you feel.  I am a preachers daughter, I have seen it all  heard it all.  Was shocked by it.  Back when I was going to church there wasn't very  much else to do so church was the fashion show.  Gossip Mill and boxing ring among other things. You will find this every where.  There are so many types of people that come throught those doors.  Its like a hospital for people who souls are in danger.  Everyone up in there is not spiritual.  We went to church because we had to growing up not by choice and some people even today go because they have to they have to "show" that they are saved even though their actions say otherwise.  Its amazing you know in Luke there is a scripture about the weeds growing right along with the grain.  God will cut them both and burn the weeds.  There really is no escaping it.  As long as your strong in your faith, which God calls you to be and you lead by example. Nothing should be able to break you. I agree I would write the pastor and yes I would address any concerns I have in a loving manner and with biblical examples but again in a loving manner.   If a person has a heart for God or even the budding of it they will be convicted by your words and the words of God, but if not they are lost and never had the heart for God in the first place.


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## Tallone (Mar 19, 2008)

I know exactly how you feel and went through something similar. The best advice I was given was to write the pastor.  I too was shocked, angry and embarrassed by the hypocrisy I was seeing.  Its one of the larger churches in philly so I began to see it as a money maker and not really abiding by the word.  That may not have been the case.  In the end I prayed about and made the best decision for me and my children.


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## PassionFruit (Mar 20, 2008)

The Pastor called me tonight...

he didnt receive me letter or messages that I called ( with it being Holy week, its very likely) 
he didnt know that certain ministry leaders were having seperate Bible studies that taught differently than the doctrines he has been teaching

He didnt know about quite a few things and is now concerned

Ive also gotten calls from others with similar issues with 1 ministry in particular

I have directly spoke with Pastor and we will collectively speak with him soon so prayerfully the issues will be resolved expediently

Thanks for your concern...  will update after the meetings


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