# Marriage Prayer for Singles Circle, January-February 2009 Prayer Circle



## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 15, 2009)

Hi Ladies, 
    This is the new thread, I'm starting one every other month so that they don't get too long.  Our January prayer dates are January 25-31.  If you want to be added to the circle before that date, please PM me.  Please DO NOT post your request to be added in the thread, I may not get it and we dont want you to be left out,  little sweeties...  
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Why we are praying? 

As this circle is for marriage-minded women, pursuing Godly marriages and Godly men, purity, healing and restoration, we want to focus on praying for each other regarding marriage, but this also includes preparation for; emotional issues we have now; healing that needs to take place in our lives in order that we can be in a healthy marriage; past abuses/bad relationships; parental issues that keep resurfacing in our lives; requests for needed guidance/mentorship/leadership; issues of purity (for those of us who seek to commit to being or becoming pure again, i.e. abstinence); and other issues that tie into moving towards healthy marriages; praying for future spouses (i.e. praying for their wellbeing, work situations, keeping themselves from sexual sin, etc,, yes, we can pray for them even though we dont know them) and other issues that relate to marriage readiness and pursuing it.  As it is effective to be intentional and also specific, please try to come with an intention to pray as well as being specific about your own needs. If you dont really know what they are, and are confused, then I'm sure we can help. 

The people in your group are the main focus, and if you have time, please come to the thread and search for prayers to pray for others, but everyone will have a group partnership.  Since there are 7 days within the week, I would ask each person to committ to praying for at least five people, and I will PM you and let you know who you would be praying for and then you should expect to receive a PM from them.

It may seem uncomfortable praying for someone you dont know or even a situation you're not familiar with, but these are times where we truly listen to God as we pray for the other, and we search His Word for each other. I've done this many times, and it has surely increased and strengthened my faith in God's providence and His ability to understand our needs even when we dont.. Please try to leave scripture for others as well, it is so important that we stay in God's Word and bless each other with it. There is so much power in His written word and when we go there for answers, it increases also our knowledge, our habit to study and spend time with Him there, and gives us peace, hope, faith and perseverance. It is important that everyone is covered in prayer. I'd hate for anyone to be left out. So this is all VERY important!  

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Here is the link to the original thread....

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=300943

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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 15, 2009)

PART II

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Instructions: 

Once you have been given a partner group, please PM the people in your group that http://www.longhaircareforum.com/editpost.php?do=editpost&p=6765419 you're praying for and those praying for you, give them your real name, first names are sufficient, and your prayer request. If you'd like to also post your requests here so that others outside of your group may pray, you can do that as some have already begun. But just to be sure, it's good to go ahead and PM those you will be in partnership with. 

I will follow up with a post at the end of the week. I want you all to be really focused during your prayer time and for us to all be listening to God as much as asking. I believe it's very important to listen. And most of all, I want us to come back and post about things God has shown us within the week, changes in our lives (not necessarily marriage proposals, alhtough that would be AMAZING! But just things he's showing us), or even if nothing has come to us, but still communicate and keep in touch, and even ask for more prayer. Journaling is an amazing way to sort of "keep track" of what God's showing you, and to also see the process of growth and change in us. I would encourage you all to get a journal and write down your thoughts, prayers, whatever God brings to you.. I would hope that even though this is our designated week of prayer, we can still come to this thread and ask for prayer during the off weeks and receive it. I have asked my mom and a few other older women in my life to pray for our group, that God's will would be accomplished in our lives, for our protection of mind, body and spirit, and that we are successful and focused on praying for each other, and can find quiet places to pray, esp for those of us with families or children... 

As we all probably come from different types of church denominations and background, I am sure that we all may pray a different way, or even have diverse beliefs to a point, so my request is that we respect each others differences, but let it be known that we are praying to the same God and have a focused and unified agreement in prayer to lift each other up before The Father... 
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After each week of prayer, we will come back to the forum and respond to the following questions:

How was it?
What are some things God has shown you about yourself?
Did you contact the members in your group and let them know what you have prayed for them?
Did you actually get the chance to pray?
What could you do better the next time?
What could we do differently or better as a group the next time?

Please, if you would, respond when you get a chance. It would help me a lot in preparing for our next week of prayer for the next month, and also, will help us all to connect with each other as well. If there are any prayer requests before the decided week of prayer and things you are struggling with right now, and need prayer for right now, please post them here, and also maybe PM some people on the list and ask them to pray for you.  If you are PM'd for prayer outside of your group or before theweek of prayer, please respond and let the person know if you can or cant.  If you can, please also give feedback after you pray for them.  It doesn't have to be long, just let them know that you did, in fact, pray about the situation and what you prayed, basically. 

 Again, this is a prayer community and what we're all embarking on together, so let's really be intentional, keep our word, and know that it's not always going to be easy to give up our time, but that we are simply being obedient and glorifying God at the same time! I appreciate each and every one of you for being here, for offering your time and support for each other! 

My prayer is that God would be glorified in the things He will do in our lives, for the testimonies that will come about. So come Lord Jesus, have Your way in us, through us and for us. During this season of prayer, open our hearts, minds and attitudes to be sensitive to your Word and your guidance. Let us see the things we need to change and grow. Help us to speak life into each other and be bold enough to speak your truth, even when it's uncomfortable. Give us the strength and courage to be challenged, to desire holiness and to continually be changed into the image of Christ Jesus, our Lord. Be our Guide and speak to our spirits as you accomplish your good and perfect will in our lives. I pray that you would honor our desire for marriage in the very way you have designed each and everyone of us for, and that we would continue to make you the center of our lives always!

Amen


If you have any questions, please PM me.

For encouragement and some good reads, visit www.beforetheknot-andafter.blogspot.com, www.boundless.org

If you are needing to read some good and encouraging books on pursuing marriage in a Godly way, for preparation, for atttiude and things that even seem confusing, get a copy at your local library or even on amazon.com of "Getting Serious About Getting Married" by Debbie Maken. This book changed my life and I believe it will change yours too!



Be blessed, 
Your Sister In Christ, 
Trinia
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Here are the members as follows:

(This list has been updated as of January 15, 2009. The prayer circle is still expanding and is open for those who want to join. Please PM me if you would like to be added to the list. Please do not put your request here becuase I may miss it and I dont want you to be left out on such a great thing! Also, it will make it easier for me to respond to you and let you know that you've been added!  No new members will be added _during_ the week of prayer, but always before and after...)

Belle_reveuse28 
Miz Jackson
n.p.r.addict
femalegold
Magnolia85
jnicole

Luckyduck
Renae226
Kayte
Nicola.Kirwan 
Cherokee 

Jturner7156
Alwayzl8 
Zora 
Nychaelasymone 
phynestone

Alicianicole
jade998
Niknik253
Reece Nicole
NappturalWomyn

bubblegumdreams
blackHairdiva & mommy
jdub
sweetjam2

Bunny77 
Stephshe
hb1913
star
LoverofLife

CICI24
Lady_godiva
slimzz
kennypoo315
kayte

rayness
Womanlycharm
Mik
P31woman
kally

anjelluvsubabe
blqrose
**Tasha*Love**
Paradox
FoxyScholar

BlessedStarlette
yodie
cocoa2122
leahrose
honeyflaava

NYLegalnewbie
btrflyrose
scasey
mis007
NatureFreeGirl
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## yodie (Jan 18, 2009)

Week of Jan. 25th sounds good to me. 
How do we get into a group?


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 18, 2009)

yodie said:


> Week of Jan. 25th sounds good to me.
> How do we get into a group?



Sent you a PM>..  But for anyone else who wants to know as well, I will be assigning them... I want to give people enough time to join before I do...


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 18, 2009)

Hi Ladies,
   I have a question... Okay, so I'm on the sexual purity bandwagon.. Which means I support it and am walking it myself.  I also write a blog regarding issues of sexuality, brokenness, etc... you can check that out at www.beforetheknot-andafter.blogspot.com.    Some really good reads there if you are interested and want to pursue sexual wholeness and purity before and after marriage...  So anyways, there is this Gala that I want to go to, Feb 15, day after Valentines, and it's going to be in the DC area for those of you who live in the surrounding areas.... Tickets are 65 and I'm hoping I have the money to go.  Last year, there were many speakers including Hill Harper and others supporting sexual purity amongst unmarrieds, etc... and healthy sexuality...  I figure it's a great way to meet like minded men, pursuing purity and also men who obviously love the Lord and have a relationship with Him... I dont want to go alone... The organization is called Worth the Wait, and it's founded by a young woman named Lindsay Marsh who's promoting sexual purity before marriage, encouraging adults to wait or become chaste and wait for sex after marriage.   She also mentors young men and women and encourage them as well... the site is www.worththewait.com.  The event is called The World the Wait Revolution Gala... Anybody in the area want to go with me? I hate going places alone like that where there is so many people and i dont know anybody...  And besides, I'm sure many of us need the opportunity to meet some real men...

The event is semi formal, and I heard last years was a hit...  Please let me know, PM me if you can...  

Thanks!

Trinia


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## zora (Jan 19, 2009)

belle_reveuse28 said:


> Hi Ladies,
> I have a question... Okay, so I'm on the sexual purity bandwagon.. Which means I support it and am walking it myself.  I also write a blog regarding issues of sexuality, brokenness, etc... you can check that out at www.beforetheknot-andafter.blogspot.com.    Some really good reads there if you are interested and want to pursue sexual wholeness and purity before and after marriage...  So anyways, there is this Gala that I want to go to, Feb 15, day after Valentines, and it's going to be in the DC area for those of you who live in the surrounding areas.... Tickets are 65 and I'm hoping I have the money to go.  Last year, there were many speakers including Hill Harper and others supporting sexual purity amongst unmarrieds, etc... and healthy sexuality...  I figure it's a great way to meet like minded men, pursuing purity and also men who obviously love the Lord and have a relationship with Him... I dont want to go alone... The organization is called Worth the Wait, and it's founded by a young woman named Lindsay Marsh who's promoting sexual purity before marriage, encouraging adults to wait or become chaste and wait for sex after marriage.   She also mentors young men and women and encourage them as well... the site is www.worththewait.com.  The event is called The World the Wait Revolution Gala... Anybody in the area want to go with me? I hate going places alone like that where there is so many people and i dont know anybody...  And besides, I'm sure many of us need the opportunity to meet some real men...
> 
> The event is semi formal, and I heard last years was a hit...  Please let me know, PM me if you can...
> ...



I'll go.


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## femalegold (Jan 19, 2009)

I would like to join in the singles circle prayer for marriage!


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## BlackHairDiva (Jan 22, 2009)

I would like to join again.


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## phynestone (Jan 24, 2009)

I have sent a pm to all the members of my group. I hope that all Christian ladies who desire marriage continue to keep their eyes and ears to the Lord; that we know "be still and know that one will come and not tarry" for his word that says that "he who finds a wife, finds a good thing." I think we are all that "good thing" (woman) and may God be glorified in our lives.


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 25, 2009)

BlackHairDiva said:


> I would like to join again.



Hey there... I never removed you from the list.  Once you're up there, you're there unless you ask to be removed.  Also, do you want me to include ur mom as well?


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 25, 2009)

phynestone said:


> I have sent a pm to all the members of my group. I hope that all Christian ladies who desire marriage continue to keep their eyes and ears to the Lord; that we know "be still and know that one will come and not tarry" for his word that says that "he who finds a wife, finds a good thing." I think we are all that "good thing" (woman) and may God be glorified in our lives.



LOL! OKay, so maybe my instructions were a bit convoluted.   Actually, I will assign groups to people for the very reason that the list wasn't updated until now, being that I just received more PMs, etc.  I wanted to give people time to join up until today.  So if you've received a PM from anyone but belle_reveuse28 about groups before now, then that is an error.  I will be assignign groups today and it will be posted on this thread....


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 25, 2009)

zora said:


> I'll go.



Hey Zora, I'm gonna send you a PM so we can discuss!  Thanks!


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 25, 2009)

OKay ladies!  The prayer circle is on for this week!

Here are the groups:

Belle_reveuse28 
n.p.r.addict
femalegold
Magnolia85
jnicole

Luckyduck
Renae226
Kayte
Nicola.Kirwan 
Cherokee 

Jturner7156
Alwayzl8 
Zora 
Nychaelasymone 
phynestone

Alicianicole
jade998
Niknik253
Reece Nicole
NappturalWomyn

bubblegumdreams
blackHairdiva & mommy
jdub
sweetjam2
Highly Favored8

Bunny77 
Stephshe
hb1913
star
LoverofLife
Rozelida_80

CICI24
Lady_godiva
slimzz
kennypoo315
kayte

rayness
Womanlycharm
Mik
P31woman
kally
Sweetg

anjelluvsubabe
blqrose
**Tasha*Love**
Paradox
FoxyScholar

BlessedStarlette
yodie
cocoa2122
leahrose
honeyflaava

NYLegalnewbie
btrflyrose
scasey
mis007
NatureFreeGirl

If your name is NOT on this list, PLEASE let me know!  I dont want to forget anyone... 


Remember to go back to the first thread and be sure of the instructions.  YOu can now PM the members in your group with your requests.  And get started!  Bless you all and I expect that we are all looking to hear good things tihis week about what God is showing us in prayer!  Blessings!

Also, as I have been on this journey for quite some time, as most of you may be, and with the ministry opportunities I've had, I would say that I have some really great resources to help many of you that have truly blessed my heart.  One thing I would like to suggest is that maybe each month we can read a book.  I have a few selections that I would like ALL of you to read that I KNOW will help you tremendously.   Many have PM'd me this week feeling beat up, hopeless, and just plain sad on the issue of marriage and waiting.  It is my heart to encourage you all, but also to give you the tools and places to go in search for answers when you are feeling hopeless, and beat up.  There is nothing like having the truth to fight with, and our minds are definitely a battlefield where the enemy is often gaining grounds.  We need tools and resources to help us, esp when others in our lives dont have the ability to help us. 

So after our prayer time this week, NEXT week I will be posting 1 of 3 books I believe, thus far, that you ladies absolutely MUST read (meaning it's a MUST read, highly suggested).   For those of you who would like to get started early... Here you are.  This will be sort of our accompanying book club...  It is my expectation that you will all read any suggested articles or books, and that also we can share and discuss among us.  If you want to opt out, please let me know. No judgement.  You can get this cheaply at Amazon.com, but my suggestion is check our your local library for FREE!

"Rethinking the Gift of Singleness" by Debbie Maken

This book changed my life, and answered so many things I couldn't understand about why God "wanted" me single for so long...

It answered with the Father's truth and heart about all of the lies I've been told, the uncaring, unsensitive remarks people at church make, people in my private life, and so on.  It answered a lot of my questions about is there really a "gift" of singleness.  And if it's a "gift", how come I can't give it back because I dont want it.  

It answered who's truly called to celibacy for life and who's called to marriage.

It teaches on God's design and desire for marriage.  It also talks about accountability and what we need to do on our part to pursue marriage actively!

I will also be posting some articles for you all to read, and will PM you to direct you here.  My goal is to provide you ladies with the armor we need, the knowledge we need, the heart we need, the accountability we need and the prayer we need in this season of our lives.  It is my hope that you would take the initiative and the responsibility to read, digest and pray for the things that come your way!  

Please read this article today....  http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001199.cfm.  I will also post it below.

And mark this site.  It is a great one, www.boundless.org, and has many articles I think are very important to edify and bless us, and keep us keeping on this path, even though difficult.  The Bible says that our efforts will not fall on deaf ears, and our work will not be in vain.  Be lifted up and encouraged!


Trinia
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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 25, 2009)

"Rethinking the Gift of Singleness" by Debbie Maken

Below is an article from www.boundless.org where Debbie Maken, the author of Rethinking the Gift of Singleness, gives an introduction to her book.  Please read and also, please get this book as soon as you can!


Debbie Maken, herself once an unwilling hostage to indefinite singleness, is now a homemaker, wife, and mother of two little girls. A former attorney and judicial clerk, she is the author of Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the Gift of Singleness published by Crossway Books.
Rethinking the Gift of Singleness

by Debbie Maken

Is singleness really a "gift"?

Singles live in a time when their church leaders and friends have told them that their state of singleness should be considered a "gift" from the Lord, a special time to devote themselves to spiritual work. Bumper sticker flattery is routinely used to justify prolonging the single years. Perhaps it's time to ask whether singleness in general — specifically protracted singleness (apart from "celibate service") — has much historical or biblical legitimacy.

A Historical Take on Singleness

On the whole of history, past generations of Christians saw singles under a divine obligation — one might say a duty — to marry. The marriage mandate was considered universal in its application, and the purposes of marriage were uniformly understood to be three-fold:

for society (companionship)
for love (physical affection), and
for the production of the next generation of the church (children)
It was not only the duty to marry that was held sacrosanct, but also the proper and timely execution thereof. With I Corinthians 7 intact in their Bibles, Christians used to believe that extended singleness had no biblical warrant. The Westminster Confession, for example, lists the "undue delay of marriage" as sin (Q. 139). Even Scripture five times hearkens to the phrase "wife/bridegroom of your youth," not your middle ages, youth being the only season that allows one to enjoy the full bundle of rights and privileges of marriage, and to accomplish its generational purposes.

The laws and practices of these former cultures likewise conveyed to all what was normative and what behavior was expected. Throughout the ages, for example, women enjoyed an infrastructure (their family or clan) to see them into the safe harbor of marriage. From arranged marriages to courtship/calling, all conspired to protect and guide women from squandering their best, most fertile years in futility.

In these earlier systems, those who were beholden to the bride through either blood or other ties were given the responsibility to guide her into marriage. This was primarily done by conditioning access of any prospective suitor on demonstrable showings of worthiness. Men were kept on a tight leash in these earlier systems. Today, we are stuck in a system that is the exact opposite — the balance of power has shifted to some random young man who, though he has virtually unfettered access to the woman, has no binding to her to initiate and bring about a marriage.

Also in these former cultures, there were consequences when behavior fell below the expected societal standard. The Puritans, for example, actually maintained laws that executed fines and imprisonment for single living. In one case where a single man John Littleale was found living by himself, where he was "subject to many sins, which are ordinarily the companions of a solitary life," he was ordered to move in with a family, or be placed in the house of corrections in the Hamptons.

I suspect that there was nothing as off-putting to a grown man as being treated like a child in the home of another. However, the shame alone in such measures would have caused John and others like him to grow up and meet the demands of true biblical masculinity as defined by those around him.

Even as late as the 1950s, the bachelor was considered a freak for he had avoided the mantle of adulthood in taking on the responsibilities of a wife and family. He was considered "eccentric," a "late bloomer," a man who never really could prove he was a man. An unwed woman was pitied in terms such as "old maid," for she had been the victim of poor opportunities in the unrelenting passage of time. And a few women were rightly considered "spinsters," for their actions had frustrated any potential suitors.

Now, compare those beliefs to what singles are told today. "God is your husband." "Bloom where you are planted." "There are plenty of ministries you can help with during this time." "Be content." "Make the desire of your heart Jesus, not marriage." The desire for marriage has been placed on a collision course with the desire for God, the One Who made marriage in the first place. With this kind of pitting, singles are often reduced to extolling singleness, much like a witch having the grace to drown to prove innocence. In the same vein, these messages dissuade young men from seeking marriage because of the false validation they receive for embarking on the less taxing challenges of mere service activities.


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 25, 2009)

Rethinking the Gift of Singleness, Part II


Chronological Snobbery

Why are Christians today so apt to validate a lifestyle that in the past would have been considered wayward and askew? To borrow a phrase from C.S. Lewis, our own "chronological snobbery" may make us believe that somehow we know more today than those who preceded us. However, our contemporary belief that Scripture validates singleness en masse is a modern invention that has sprouted only in this generation.

The ease of flattery and our alliance with pop culture has produced a language of holy doublespeak where adult singleness is thought of as acceptable, even biblical. Instead of placing this modern phenomenon of protracted singleness under Scripture for scrutiny, we have done the exact opposite — we have made Scripture the handmaiden to the phenomenon. I Corinthians 7, anyone? Instead of viewing Scripture as a whole and acknowledging that out of the thousands of characters, only a handful were single, we like to take parts out of context and argue that it gives us cover.

Past Christians also read I Corinthians 7, and they understood that Paul was writing at a time of "great distress," referring to the famine in the Greek countryside and the percolating persecutions taking place at the time. Because of these threatening circumstances, Paul advised that marriage could temporarily be placed on the back-burner. They understood that letter to convey expediency, nothing more.

Paul never held marriage and singleness to be on equal planes, and neither did past Christians. Paul acknowledged celibacy (i.e., the supernatural removal of sexual desire) as a God-given gift. He acknowledged that the celibate could be single, but that the single could not necessarily be celibate and therefore prescribed marriage.

Contemporary Christian teaching on this subject blurs the line between celibacy and singleness and leaves singles mistakenly believing that the two are the same. God is often painted as capriciously willing singleness for some and not others. Consequently and sadly, many Christian singles resign themselves to this less-than-ideal state. A more thoughtful and critical examination reveals that today's singleness is not some sort of divinely ordained, interminable state for a quarter of the population, but the result of a string of systematic impediments to marriage:

a male-friendly mating structure that is not geared toward marriage, but toward low-commitment, short term, shallow cyclical relationships
a low view of marriage, with the process to achieve it reflecting its value: the casual nature of dating ultimately reflects the casual nature with which we treat our marriages
lack of male leadership in the home, with parents bringing up boys to remain boys
a protracted education system that doesn't really educate
the removal of shame for indulging in the Indian Summer of one's adolescence or for being a perennial bachelor
a privatized version of the meaning of marriage
a diminished expectation of marriage from the divorce culture, and
a redefinition or a defining downward of healthy biblical adulthood
In the church, instead of acknowledging that singles are operating in the most dysfunctional mating scheme known to world history, we simply presume on the Lord and his sovereignty to override our collective recklessness. Instead of recognizing that many single women are victims because of the deficits in the present construct, we dismiss their unwanted status as simply "God's will."

Today's singleness is not celibacy-induced kingdom work unaccommodating to family life. No, it's the result of choices and mistakes by both the individual and society. Today's singleness is either a lifestyle option or purely circumstantial; therefore, it is largely unbiblical.

Because past Christian thinkers rightly understood that biblically excused singleness was a rare exception, they also correctly believed that the rest of us were under the creation mandate to marry in a timely manner. This duty is hard to appreciate in a generation where the very permanency of marriage is in doubt. If marriage can be unilaterally modified by the reneging spouse, and the costs of stakeholders in the union (such as children) be overlooked, then is there any room for discussion of whether one fails to marry in the first place?

But this goes to the heart of the argument — accountability. John Calvin intimated that any man who, without the gift of continence, failed to marry was guilty of stealing a husband from a wife. He thought that if the two sexes be separated they were like "mutilated members of a mangled body." Martin Luther agreed, and believed that the male and female ordering of Genesis mandated marriage for mankind. Marriage was not thought of as optional.

We are a generation that blinds itself to the notion that the failure to marry timely (i.e., in the Spring of our adult lives) can be as costly as a divorce. It costs someone a spouse, it robs someone of legitimate sexual relations, it deprives grandparents of their grandchildren, it fails to replenish the nursery of the church.

In Defense of Women

I know this proposition stings modern ears. I can think of many women, myself included at one time, who might argue, "But it's not my fault I'm single." True, most women are not to blame here as they are not the ones to bend down on one knee and propose. But being blameless cannot serve to validate an unintended outcome.

Single women may take the conclusion offered in this article as a personal affront. They may insist upon validation and affirmation for a state they readily admit resembles a cruel joke as opposed to a gift. However, the answer to our dilemma is not to accelerate our cultural acceptance of protracted singleness or make it look more glorified than it really is. Validating singleness categorically only guarantees more singleness. Perhaps it's time to challenge the ideas that are now in play, especially those in the church.

Women will have no relief from the present holding cell of unwanted singleness until we recapture a world life view that exalts marriage as both a blessing and an obligation. That worldview restrains men's baser instincts and desire to live unconstrained, immature lives. That worldview assists women and pities them when their desire to be a homemaker is snuffed out. That worldview has checks and balances. That worldview holds real promise for women to achieve their maximum biblical potential, instead of the momentary comfort of flattery. That worldview believes adult singleness, in the vast number of cases, to be unbiblical.

Please understand that I'm not proposing a return to the past, but a recapturing of these older, irrefutable, wiser truths. Because ideas have consequences, what we believe about singleness and marriage will shape how we will live, and ultimately whether we will realize marriage during the most desirable season.



Copyright © 2006 Debbie Maken. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. This article was published on Boundless.org on January 19, 2006.


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 25, 2009)

Okay, so I know i'm doing most of the talking in this thread right now, but yall come in where you may.... 

So as I mentioned earlier, I'm getting lots of PM's with some discouraged ladies, and let me tell you, this week has been hard for me too!  I'm right there with you, which is why we need this prayer week right now, and we need to meet God where we are, right now!  He says he will meet us as we are, where we are, as long as we call on Him in spirit and in truth!

Soo... more about my suggestion about reading the books for the next few months... And this is why... Prayer is highly effective, but I'm sure most of you will agree that along with prayer and seeking God, we also need to be "educated" on how to pursue Godly marriages, guidance, if you will.  HOw many of you are truly lacking in guidance right now?

There was a huge period in my life where guidance was really not available, and through prayer, God has made providence for that.  Some in the form of mentors, books, ministries for singles pursuing marriage.  All of these things I have received counsel in.  And yes, I still get discouraged at times, and I still want to give up at times, and I still have a spirit of unbelief at times.  But that's where God's truth comes in, prayer, knowledge, adn the things we need to help us out of those places...  

PLEASE PLEASE read Debbie Maken's book!  I know that it will help all of you ladies out and my suggestion is to go out and get it this week!  TODAY if you can!  Her knowledge and writing is like a mom speaking to her daughter about how to go about these things.  She provides education, admonishment, accountability, knowledge, reason, support.  All the things we need to help guide us along this journey, and it's in this book!

So this is a common thing I've been told today and it is this... "I've given up on this thing.. There are no more good men.... I gave someone two years of my life and they married someone else.....

And this is what Debbie has taught me... and is a reply to the many of you...

"Trust me, yOu're not anywhere I haven't been... Taht's why we have this whole prayer circle, becuase we need it so bad.. and we need hope, you know... all of the things you've mentinoed do seem true at times, and sometimes overwhelm us and make us loose hope.  That's why we have to hear God's truth about these things because it's easier to believe a lie than believing the truth spoken from the Word of God.  I will be praying for you.  I know it is definitely difficult where you are.  IN the book I suggested that you ladies read, it talks about time tables.  And the appropriate amount of times we are to give a relationship in knowing whether or not marriage will result or not.  I never knew this prior to reading this book.  Giving someone months, years of your life without that person leading and stating that they want to pursue marriag with you is a waste of your time, as you are experiencing now.  

A man, within 6 months of dating, should have stated what his intentions are, and then follow that with actions.  You dont wait a year or so without even knowing his stated intnetions, and then assume that he's going to want to marry you.  He needs to be a leader nad a gentleman and state these things adn then follow them up with actions.  A lot of this should be discussed as you agree to date each other.  Dating is for the sole purpose fo pursuing marriage.  So we must not "date" people who are not using it for the purpose of pursuing marriage.  Don't be somoene's pillow, hook up, or time-filler.  Ask someone, adn be bold, even on a first date, what do you believe the purpose of dating is for?  What do you hope to pursue in dating me?  Don't be afraid.  If they are not pursuing marriage, or dont feel ready for marriage, then my dear, you are waisting your time.  Giving him a year or so to figure out if he's ready for marriage or not will not always end up with him wanting to marry you.  He has to have that in his heart from the beginning.  And if one thinks you are intimidating, then don't worry about that.  The right man, honorable man, will answer you with honesty because of his convictions and because he's the type of man you should want to spend time with.   

Waiting with a person like that and nothing being said, it's a waste of time wehre you could have been pursuing a relationship with someone else that would have led to marriage. 

And that's the thing, you can give it up, you can lay it down today.  But tomorrow, you will be standing in hope again becuase the Lord will give you hope to stand and he will pick you up and carry you if need be.  WE must often lay our burdens at the foot of the cross because yes, they are often to hard and heavy to carry.  So go ahead and lay it down for today, but still pray, okay.  You will get the strength later to pick back up your dream and hope again... Trust me.  I've been there!


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## Bunny77 (Jan 25, 2009)

Dear Trinia and others...

I've read the Debbie Maken book and it also changed my life. Her words have inspired most of my writings on this board about marriage, as has Candice Watters/Boundless Webzine.

I highly recommend anything these women write on the subject of marriage, but Maken especially! Once I finished the book, I never felt more positive and happy about the topics of relationship and marriage!


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 25, 2009)

Bunny77 said:


> Dear Trinia and others...
> 
> I've read the Debbie Maken book and it also changed my life. Her words have inspired most of my writings on this board about marriage, as has Candice Watters/Boundless Webzine.
> 
> I highly recommend anything these women write on the subject of marriage, but Maken especially! Once I finished the book, I never felt more positive and happy about the topics of relationship and marriage!



See, God always provides confirmation when we need it!

Thanks Bunny!


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## jade998 (Jan 25, 2009)

Thanks belle_reveuse28 for all the time you have taken to encourage us. I have bought the book, I am always looking to be educated and it sounds like a great read

I have been dealing with in patience, and every word I have heard has been "Wait for the latter rain" 

_James 5:7 Be patient therefore, brethren, unto the coming of the Lord. Behold, the husbandman waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain_


I came across this passage and I hold unto it:

_Leviticus 25:18-22 (New International Version)

18 Follow my decrees and be careful to obey my laws, and you will live safely in the land.

19 Then the land will yield its fruit, and you will eat your fill and live there in safety. 

20 You may ask, "What will we eat in the seventh year if we do not plant or harvest our crops?" 

21 I will send you such a blessing in the sixth year that the land will yield enough for three years.

 22 While you plant during the eighth year, you will eat from the old crop and will continue to eat from it until the harvest of the ninth year comes in_

Ladies, while you might feel like you are still eating "old crop" from the eight year, wait until the harvest of the ninth year comes in. Remember to "be careful to obey his laws"

I believe we shall see the lords hands this year over this matter, and I pray for testimonies and I have faith that he will show up and show up and show forth his glory

Stay Encouraged and enjoy interceeding this week - Don't forget to praise God too for what he is about to do in our lifes.


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 25, 2009)

ATTN Newcomers:  The prayer groups for the week of January 25-31 is now officially closed.  If you are a newcomer, you can still join the prayer circle, but you will not able to attend this week of prayer as we have to close it at some point so that those of us who are in groups already can focus on who we have been given to pray for.  It's just harder to add people once the week has already begun.  But please stick around, send me a PM, and I will add you to the distribution list for updates, and also subscribe to the thread!  Glad to have all of you here!  Also, if you want, please post your prayer request here.  Although you're not in a group, we all will be reading the threads and will freely pray for you....


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## yodie (Jan 27, 2009)

Hi ladies,

Just wanted to post and let the ladies in my group know that I am holding them up in prayer everyday.  I'm interceding and believing God for you and every other lady in this thread that desires a husband.  I'm praying that God prepare your husband as well as he's preparing you. 

Be blessed ladies.


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## prettywhitty (Jan 28, 2009)

I just wanted to let you know I am praying for your guys.


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## yodie (Jan 30, 2009)

Hi ladies.

Just wanted to encourage you all during this week of praying.  God is good and He certainly hears us.  Remember, the bible says, "If two of you shall agree as touching anything, it shall be done for you."


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## chicacanella (Jan 30, 2009)

belle_reveuse28 said:


> Hi Ladies,
> I have a question... Okay, so I'm on the sexual purity bandwagon.. Which means I support it and am walking it myself. I also write a blog regarding issues of sexuality, brokenness, etc... you can check that out at www.beforetheknot-andafter.blogspot.com. Some really good reads there if you are interested and want to pursue sexual wholeness and purity before and after marriage... So anyways, there is this Gala that I want to go to, Feb 15, day after Valentines, and it's going to be in the DC area for those of you who live in the surrounding areas.... Tickets are 65 and I'm hoping I have the money to go. Last year, there were many speakers including Hill Harper and others supporting sexual purity amongst unmarrieds, etc... and healthy sexuality... I figure it's a great way to meet like minded men, pursuing purity and also men who obviously love the Lord and have a relationship with Him... I dont want to go alone... The organization is called Worth the Wait, and it's founded by a young woman named Lindsay Marsh who's promoting sexual purity before marriage, encouraging adults to wait or become chaste and wait for sex after marriage. She also mentors young men and women and encourage them as well... the site is www.worththewait.com. The event is called The World the Wait Revolution Gala... Anybody in the area want to go with me? I hate going places alone like that where there is so many people and i dont know anybody... And besides, I'm sure many of us need the opportunity to meet some real men...
> 
> The event is semi formal, and I heard last years was a hit... Please let me know, PM me if you can...
> ...


 

Wow, that would be something to meet a man like that...whose for real. I hope you had a good time!


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 31, 2009)

chicacanella said:


> Wow, that would be something to meet a man like that...whose for real. I hope you had a good time!



Oh, I haven't went yet... It will be on February 15....


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 31, 2009)

Hi Ladies, 
     I will be sending you all PMs shortly, but if you are reading this and want to join the prayer circle or are a member, can you please PM me your first name and your email?  There is a forum for our circle that I have begun for many reasons.  One, is to provide a little more privacy about our discusssions, but would enable us to have various discussions and topics within our circle, and the other is to make it much easier for me to manage sending you guys messages and keeping you up to date.  It's been very time consuming sending you guys messages 10 at a time, whereas in the forum I have created, I can broadcast a message to all of you, you all can do the same, and you can also communicate easier with the people in your subgroups during our prayer weeks.   I will continue to post a new thread here each month for our prayer circle so that people are always aware that we have one,  but you will just be directed to the prayer forum for info.  Please continue to pray this week, and also please continue to seek out others to join our circle.  There certainly is strength in numbers, and also non-members of LHCF can join as well since the forum is free.... You can take a look at http://beforetheknotandafter.ning.com.  Please set up a quick little profile and join and PM me to let me know that you have so that I dont forget anyone.  This will make life soooo much easier for me to communicate with you all, manage the circle and add new features that are just for us.  We are growing rapidly and already have over 55 members.  I hope you all understand and are willing to join us there!


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## belle_reveuse28 (Jan 31, 2009)

If you are just reading this thread, please come join us over at http://beforetheknotandafter.ning.com.   Set up a quick profile and join us!


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## kayte (Jan 31, 2009)

> If you are just reading this thread, please come join us over at http://beforetheknotandafter.ning.com. Set up a quick profile and join us!



I joined!!! ..what a blessed service


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## Iammoney (Feb 9, 2009)

i dont think i have spoken to anyone in my group but please believe every morning you are in my prayers


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## belle_reveuse28 (Feb 23, 2009)

The February Marriage Prayer Circle begins today!  If you haven't already joined, please go on over to the site, beforetheknotandafter.ning.com and sign up!  A few more hours left to do so!


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## a_ caribbean_dream (Feb 24, 2009)

belle_reveuse28 said:


> The February Marriage Prayer Circle begins today!  If you haven't already joined, please go on over to the site, beforetheknotandafter.ning.com and sign up!  A few more hours left to do so!



I tried looking for the February marriage prayer circle and I couldn't find it.  Do you mean actually subscribing to the blog?

p.s. I'm so happy to have come across this thread!


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