# How Do You Know That Your Mate/Future Mate is From God?



## divinefavor (Mar 25, 2005)

I thought this would be a great topic of discussion.  I'm posing this question to get some good dialogue going about this.  Many singles wonder about this.

Does God tell you someone is your mate when you meet him, before you meet him?  If so how does or did He tell you?

What if the man lines up with the spiritual attribute God says your mate will have, but physically he's not what you want what do you do?

Say for instance one of your friends says she know God said that a certain man is her husband, but he's not attracted to her in that way (and he basically said that she's not his type), was that really a revelation from God?

These are just questions that pop into my head.  Please feel free to add more questions.

Please single and married people reply, I think it's great to hear from everyone.


----------



## DelightfulFlame (Mar 25, 2005)

married young...happily married for 7 years (and I'm 27). 

basically you don't know. You have to trust God. The man you marry today may not be the same man you are married to in 20 years (hopefully he won't be! LOL).

One thing that I believe helped me the most was watching for his "fruit". I married a man that didn't just say he loved me, but showed it. I enjoyed being around him, and the feeling lasted for 2 years before we actually got married. He had the same values that I did. Although we are very different, the differences are what we love about each other. Everything is not peachy and roses all of the time, but I love so much about him that I'm willing to deal even when things aren't the best. 

Forget words...talk is cheap. Pay attention to actions and "fruit".

And ask yourself...if this man never changed, could I love him forever?  If the answer is no, then leave him alone!


----------



## Poohbear (Mar 25, 2005)

DelightfulFlame said:
			
		

> married young...happily married for 7 years (and I'm 27).
> 
> basically you don't know. You have to trust God. The man you marry today may not be the same man you are married to in 20 years (hopefully he won't be! LOL).
> 
> ...


Very well said!!! 

I'm not married but have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years and 3 months off and on (we broke up for one month and then had a big breakup for 8months, now we're back together). I feel the same way, actions speak louder than words. Three months into our relationship, my man was mostly cheap talk...now, he has made a significant improvement in showing that he loves me.   We love being around each other and have a comfort level that's out of this world.  Like DL said, you don't know if your mate is from God, you just have to trust God in relationships with people.


----------



## Chrissy811 (Mar 25, 2005)

One thing that I believe helped me the most was watching for his "fruit". I married a man that didn't just say he loved me, but showed it. I enjoyed being around him, and the feeling lasted for 2 years before we actually got married. He had the same values that I did. Although we are very different, the differences are what we love about each other. Everything is not peachy and roses all of the time, but I love so much about him that I'm willing to deal even when things aren't the best. 

Forget words...talk is cheap. Pay attention to actions and "fruit".


I agree totally, I too married someone who was "not my type" I am talking about physically.  He is not over 6' with bulging muscles.  But looking back on the guys like that I was involved with, they did nothing but hurt me.  

Actions and fruit do tell it all...my husband loves me unconditionally(because I can act a stone fool for no reason at times) he is patient, he listens to me, he helps me work out problems-they become ours not just mine anymore.  He tries hard to give me what I ask for.  We both have changed for the better, he is teaching me something that I have always had trouble with trust...I trusy him, but I don't trust in him I only trust in God.

I guess what I am trying to say another person should bring something to your life.  And if he is the one God will remove any questions or doubts that you have.


----------



## divinefavor (Mar 25, 2005)

Wow these are great, keep them coming!

I wholeheartedly believe that you have to trust God in every relationship and always watch the fruit that a person bares.


----------



## star (Mar 25, 2005)

*Does God tell you someone is your mate when you meet him, before you meet him? If so how does or did He tell you?*

Every situation is different. If we are living a Christ like life and I must stress living for God. He will expose us to His perfect will. Everything we do with our lives is free-will but He will show you the direction He wants you to go. It is very hard to know God's will if you do not spend time with Him through reading the bible, praying and serving Him through your local Church and community. His ways are mysterious and all based on your trust, faith and love for Him. He always, always looks at the heart of the person. There are of course, people who did not know God at the time of their marriage and those who just make a mistake in their choices. Those people must go to God. God can bless a mess if you let Him do it His way. But this will between that person and God. As you walk with God, He will talk to you and lead to places and people this is call divine intervention. You will never no all the answers to everything but trusting Him and loving Him is the key. Pray about *EVERYTHING* before you make a descision.  Your decision should not be based on wordly things such as money, sex etc. but the spirit of the person and how they are serving God when you meet them.

*What if the man lines up with the spiritual attribute God says your mate will have, but physically he's not what you want what do you do? * 

Take time to get to know the person. People outward appearance can change if needed. A woman is often the best influence a man has in taking care of himself. Most men learn this from the woman in their lives mothers, sisters etc.

*Say for instance one of your friends says she know God said that a certain man is her husband, but he's not attracted to her in that way (and he basically said that she's not his type), was that really a revelation from God?*

If God does speak just like Mary(mother of Jesus) in the Bible we must keep certain things in our heart until God brings it to pass. Time will also show whether or not we miss God and made a mistake. Take one day at time. If God said it then let God do it but DO NOT tell the world what God told you. These kinds of things are very personal and can become confusing if the wrong people get involved.


----------



## BLESSED1 (Mar 25, 2005)

star said:
			
		

> *Does God tell you someone is your mate when you meet him, before you meet him? If so how does or did He tell you?*
> 
> Every situation is different. If we are living a Christ like life and I must stress living for God. He will expose us to His perfect will. Everything we do with our lives is free-will but He will show you the direction He wants you to go. It is very hard to know God's will if you do not spend time with Him through reading the bible, praying and serving Him through your local Church and community. His was are mysterious and all based on your trust, faith and love for Him. He always, always looks at the heart of the person. There are of course, people who did not know God at the time of their marriage and those who just make a mistake in their choices. Those people must go to God. God can bless a mess if you let Him do it His way. But this will between that person and God. As you walk with God, He will talk to you and lead to places and people this is call divine intervention. You will never no all the answers to anything but trusting Him and loving Him is the key. Pray about *EVERYTHING* before you make a descision.  Your decision should not be based on wordly things such as money, sex etc. but the spirit of the person and how they are serving God when you meet them.
> 
> ...




very well said star 

This is a great thread, thanks for starting it divinefavor


----------



## star (Mar 25, 2005)

Thank you!!


			
				BLESSED1 said:
			
		

> very well said star
> 
> This is a great thread, thanks for starting it divinefavor


----------



## Honeyhips (Mar 25, 2005)

There are certain guidelines that I've been taught in my church that he has to follow, same for me. He will also have to go through a chain of people and if he can get by them, then he might be in the running.  I believe God will let me know when it is right.  I also know that he will find me, but that won't happen until God works some things out in me.


----------



## Koffie (Mar 26, 2005)

*What if the man lines up with the spiritual attribute God says your mate will have, but physically he's not what you want what do you do? 

Take time to get to know the person. People outward appearance can change if needed. A woman is often the best influence a man has in taking care of himself. Most men learn this from the woman in their lives mothers, sisters etc.*


This is EXACTLY what I am experiencing right now. Don't get me wrong, he is very cute, but he is on the husky side, and I am used to dating chocolate men who work out alot and have cuts & muscles.  

Am I wrong for wanting him to change his physical appearance so I can be happy? 
I just want him to hit the gym a 'lil, I mean alot harder 
I do it so why can't I want my man to do it. 

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!


----------



## star (Mar 26, 2005)

Am I wrong for wanting him to change his physical appearance so I can be happy? 

No, you are not wrong but you must put your priorities in place first. *Rome was not build in day and bady takes nine months. * You must do step 1 before you can get to step 5. If a person heart is good and respects you this is PRICELESS. But trust me I hear what you are saying, but my heart is also open to God's perfect will for my life and not all what I want. God knows what you like but sometimes He has to test our hearts so He can see what is really MOST important to us. Wanting a person to be fit is good and this can come later for your friend. You can be a good example/influence for him and you can always invite him to the gym with you. But, do not jam it down his throat. Treat him the way you would want to be treated. I am sure he may have somethings he might want you to do also. *Be opened minded and grow and love as friends. Having Healthy expectations  for people while allowing them to grow and blossom into the wonderful person they are.*


			
				Koffie said:
			
		

> *What if the man lines up with the spiritual attribute God says your mate will have, but physically he's not what you want what do you do?
> 
> Take time to get to know the person. People outward appearance can change if needed. A woman is often the best influence a man has in taking care of himself. Most men learn this from the woman in their lives mothers, sisters etc.*
> 
> ...


----------



## sithembile (Mar 28, 2005)

I have a real live example of how to tell if a man is from God:

I met a guy in bible study a couple of weeks ago, he was attractive, seemed to be on fire for God and he was nice to me. We spoke on a phone a few times and met for coffee. I was using the conversations to "gather data" about him. He eventually told me he had 3 kids from  3 different women, but that he was changing now that he was committing his life to God. He also doesn't have a job, lives with his mama, although he said he's going back to university this fall. This made me uncomfortable, because its not the "kind" of guy I expected God to send me. But because I had prayed concerning him, and asked God a few months ago to "hook" me up with this guy, I somehow thought he was the "one". That I was being too judgemental about his past, and that if God forgave him, why should I write him off. 
But I still felt uneasy about it. I began praying earnestly to God about him, I wanted to be sure this was in God's will for me. We were not dating, but it was heading that way. 

Anyway, we walked into bible study together last week, and my pastor looked at me strangely. I thought it was only because he had never seen me with a guy. But at the end, he pulled me aside and told me to not get attached to this man because he had a lot of baggage and he was not the right guy for me. I was shocked. I thought the pastor was talking about his 3 kids, so I thought it was a little harsh of my pastor.

Then on saturday, I invited church friends over for dinner. One girl mentioned how she had her heart broken by someone at church, who swept her off her feet with promises of marriage, slept with her for a few months, but now he totally ignores her. It turns out it is the same guy. She was devastated and went to tell my pastor, and then 2 days later, my pastor saw me with the guy, which was why he warned me. Needless to say, I don't talk to the guy anymore.

The point of the story is that, if you remain close to God, pray, read His word, Obey His word and submit to the spiritual authority He has placed in your life (ie your pastors), then God will not allow you to make a mistake. He will let you know if a man is in His will for you, our job is to trust and obey God, and keep our spiritual ears and hearts open to Him, and when He speaks to us, through circumstances and people, which should listen. If you are saved, you are His child and He will protect us if we depend totally on Him.


----------



## mrselle (Mar 28, 2005)

I met my husband when I was a freshman in college.  He is five years older than me and was my first serious boyfriend.  At that time I was a lot more committed to him than he was to me.  I dated him for two years despite the fact that it was no secret that I wasn’t the only one he was seeing.  When we broke up I had a hard time dealing with it, but I tried my best to move on because I knew deep in my heart that God wanted me to concentrate on my studies.  God also used this time in my life to draw me closer to HIM, become my own person, and build my self-esteem.  About three months after we broke up, I was at my parent’s house for the weekend.  I was in the living room on the couch by myself sort of dosing off when I heard a distinct voice say, “Its not over between the two of you.”  I opened my eyes for a few minutes thinking that I might hear more, but I didn’t so I went back to my nap.  The following month, I was going through a difficult time in school and one Sunday night I was so down I didn’t know what to do.  Before I went to bed I got down on my knees and prayed thinking that I would be going to God in prayer about my education, but for whatever reason I was lead to pray for my ex-boyfriend and I asked God to reveal to me if he was the one or not.  I went to sleep and forgot about the prayer until a few days later when God answered me.  The answer was yes.  I’m not going to go into detail on how God answered me because it really wouldn’t make sense to anybody else, but I think, as Christians, we all know when God is speaking to us loud and clear.  

What I didn’t realize at the time was that just because God said yes didn’t mean that He was going to do it right then.  God spent three years shaping and molding me into the woman He wanted me to be.  He wanted me to learn how to trust Him with my whole heart and He wanted to me to have the kind of faith where I could believe Him for anything.  He was also shaping and molding me to be the kind of wife He knew my husband would need.  At the same time He was working on my husband.  Now, there were times I got frustrated and their were times when I would ask God for confirmation because I wanted to be absolutely sure I heard him right.  So, there were many more times over the years that God did speak to me and reassure me that, yes, I’d heard Him correctly.  

If God has spoken to you about a mate, keep it to yourself.  Don’t tell anybody.  Something I learned is that when God puts something in your spirit and He tells you He is going to bring it to pass, the devil will do everything in his power to make it look like it won’t happen.  I made a big mistake by telling my “friends”, at that time, what God had shown me.  They laughed at me, told me I was out of touch with reality and surely I’d miss-heard.  One “friend” even told me that maybe I would marry a man by the same name, but it wouldn’t be my ex.  But God is so good and brought a true friend into my life who not only helped me get closer to God, but became my prayer partner and two years after God told me my ex would be my husband, he confirmed it to my prayer partner and she and I began to pray together about it.  

Next month we will be celebrating our four-year wedding anniversary.  I can truly say that God gave me the perfect husband for me.  

So, this is my long winded way of saying, yes, I know without a doubt that God will tell you who your mate is.


----------



## Ginsana (Mar 31, 2005)

mrselle said:
			
		

> I met my husband when I was a freshman in college.  He is five years older than me and was my first serious boyfriend.  At that time I was a lot more committed to him than he was to me.  I dated him for two years despite the fact that it was no secret that I wasn’t the only one he was seeing.  When we broke up I had a hard time dealing with it, but I tried my best to move on because I knew deep in my heart that God wanted me to concentrate on my studies.  God also used this time in my life to draw me closer to HIM, become my own person, and build my self-esteem.  About three months after we broke up, I was at my parent’s house for the weekend.  I was in the living room on the couch by myself sort of dosing off when I heard a distinct voice say, “Its not over between the two of you.”  I opened my eyes for a few minutes thinking that I might hear more, but I didn’t so I went back to my nap.  The following month, I was going through a difficult time in school and one Sunday night I was so down I didn’t know what to do.  Before I went to bed I got down on my knees and prayed thinking that I would be going to God in prayer about my education, but for whatever reason I was lead to pray for my ex-boyfriend and I asked God to reveal to me if he was the one or not.  I went to sleep and forgot about the prayer until a few days later when God answered me.  The answer was yes.  I’m not going to go into detail on how God answered me because it really wouldn’t make sense to anybody else, but I think, as Christians, we all know when God is speaking to us loud and clear.
> 
> What I didn’t realize at the time was that just because God said yes didn’t mean that He was going to do it right then.  God spent three years shaping and molding me into the woman He wanted me to be.  He wanted me to learn how to trust Him with my whole heart and He wanted to me to have the kind of faith where I could believe Him for anything.  He was also shaping and molding me to be the kind of wife He knew my husband would need.  At the same time He was working on my husband.  Now, there were times I got frustrated and their were times when I would ask God for confirmation because I wanted to be absolutely sure I heard him right.  So, there were many more times over the years that God did speak to me and reassure me that, yes, I’d heard Him correctly.
> 
> ...




Mrselle I agree with everything you've said!!!...especially the part about when God tells you something, especially something about your future, its not always good for you to go sharing it with other people. I have learned from personal experience that when God reveals something supernatural to you, especially when it has to deal with a personal area of your life, it is for you to keep between yourself and God because not everyone will have the same faith that you have to believe what God has said...they may not even be in agreement when you tell them because they just can't conceive it, but thank  God we serve a God who knows our yesterday, today, and FOREVER! When God gives you a word, you hold fast to that word and thank God that it is already done, because in the right time it will manifest in the natural.

As for the other questions asked on this post...I am a 21 year old single girl right now and patiently waiting on God for my future husband. I've never had a real boyfriend or a relationship, so I am just excited over the fact that God is working this one out for me. I know that the few times in the past that I have tried to take this area of my life into my own hands I WAS VERY UNSUCCESSFUL!  God checked me on that though and told me to go about doing his business in his house and he will take care of mine. I have entrusted my love life to Christ and I know, that I know, that I KNOW that he has already set my mate aside for me. You know what too, and I can't believe that I am even saying this right now, but I think I may have already met my future husband! One of my greatest desires is that I would be friends with my  FH first so that out of that close friendship, something greater will manifest. Right now I am friends with a particular guy and he is everything that I have expressed to God that I desire in a mate, even before I knew this guy personally. I don't even want to get into that whole listing thing...but the important thing for me right now is to keep ears, my heart, and my eyes open and sensitive to God so that he will direct my steps and tell me what to do, so that if this guy is not the one that he has for me, I won't be heart broken or anything, just more excited that God has so much vested interest in lil ol' me! All I can say is that if you want to know something, God will definitely tell you...but in his perfect timing. When he's ready for me to know who he has for me...HE will most definitely tell me in his own special way, either directly to me, or through one of his other children (my dad, my mom, a sister in church, a donkey  etc...) 
Just sharing my experience...hope I haven't gone off topic too much


----------



## Dare~to~Dream (Apr 1, 2005)

Ginsana said:
			
		

> Mrselle I agree with everything you've said!!!...especially the part about when God tells you something, especially something about your future, its not always good for you to go sharing it with other people.



I think you all are right. I made the mistake of telling some people about the "vision" I saw which was truly from God {the devil tried to block "my view" at first}.  It was confusing which was the main reason I spoke to someone about it...{I spoke with one of my Christian friends}. Later on, I told some toxic people about it...I know not to do that now.


----------



## Sweet C (Apr 1, 2005)

mrselle said:
			
		

> *What I didn’t realize at the time was that just because God said yes didn’t mean that He was going to do it right then*. God spent three years shaping and molding me into the woman He wanted me to be. He wanted me to learn how to trust Him with my whole heart and He wanted to me to have the kind of faith where I could believe Him for anything. *He was also shaping and molding me to be the kind of wife He knew my husband would need. At the same time He was working on my husband.* Now, there were times I got frustrated and their were times when I would ask God for confirmation because I wanted to be absolutely sure I heard him right. So, there were many more times over the years that God did speak to me and reassure me that, yes, I’d heard Him correctly.
> 
> *If God has spoken to you about a mate, keep it to yourself. Don’t tell anybody. Something I learned is that when God puts something in your spirit and He tells you He is going to bring it to pass, the devil will do everything in his power to make it look like it won’t happen*. I made a big mistake by telling my “friends”, at that time, what God had shown me. They laughed at me, told me I was out of touch with reality and surely I’d miss-heard. One “friend” even told me that maybe I would marry a man by the same name, but it wouldn’t be my ex. But God is so good and brought a true friend into my life who not only helped me get closer to God, but became my prayer partner and two years after God told me my ex would be my husband, he confirmed it to my prayer partner and she and I began to pray together about it.
> 
> ...


 
Girl, this is an awesome testimony!  This so hit home for me, b/c your situation is quite similiar to what me and my husband went through.  About 6 months after he was saved, God told him that I would be his wife.  Now at the time, I was not saved, so he told me that when he heard this, he said "get thee behind me satan".....lol.  We were just friends and didn't talk that much (prob about 4x a year), but whenever we did, he was preaching Christ and b/c of this, I eventually gave my life to the Lord.  Now he didn't tell me this story until after we got engaged, but that is to show that God always operates in due season and timing of revelation is critical to such matters. 

So yes I firmly believe that God will let you and your mate know that you are for each other.  And if you don't believe you are sure, continue to seek God, watch his "fruit", and God will confirm it to you.


----------



## mrselle (Apr 1, 2005)

Sweet C said:
			
		

> Girl, this is an awesome testimony!  This so hit home for me, b/c your situation is quite similiar to what me and my husband went through.  About 6 months after he was saved, God told him that I would be his wife.  Now at the time, I was not saved, so he told me that when he heard this, he said "get thee behind me satan".....lol.  We were just friends and didn't talk that much (prob about 4x a year), but whenever we did, he was preaching Christ and b/c of this, I eventually gave my life to the Lord.  Now he didn't tell me this story until after we got engaged, but that is to show that God always operates in due season and timing of revelation is critical to such matters.



That’s an awesome testimony.  God is so good and He knows ALL.  Another part of the story I didn’t include is that after God showed my prayer partner that this man is my husband, she told me that I needed to confront him about being saved.  Well, I prayed on it first because I wasn’t quite sure how to approach him about this.  Every time I prayed about it I would hear in my spirit, “He’s already saved.”  So, imagine my shock (shocked in a good way) when I approached him and he said, “Yeah, but for me it would be more of a rededication thing.  I was saved and baptized in high school.”  God is awesome.


----------



## Trinity1 (Apr 3, 2005)

mrselle,

Your original post gave me goose bumps......you were so eloquent at how you shared the details of Gods divine intervention in your life.    May you and your Husband have many,many more beautiful years together.


TeeTee2


----------



## phynestone (Apr 3, 2005)

mrselle said:
			
		

> I’m not going to go into detail on how God answered me because it really wouldn’t make sense to anybody else, but I think, as Christians, we all know when God is speaking to us loud and clear.
> 
> What I didn’t realize at the time was that just because God said yes didn’t mean that He was going to do it right then.  God spent three years shaping and molding me into the woman He wanted me to be.  He wanted me to learn how to trust Him with my whole heart and He wanted to me to have the kind of faith where I could believe Him for anything.  He was also shaping and molding me to be the kind of wife He knew my husband would need.  At the same time He was working on my husband.  Now, there were times I got frustrated and their were times when I would ask God for confirmation because I wanted to be absolutely sure I heard him right.  So, there were many more times over the years that God did speak to me and reassure me that, yes, I’d heard Him correctly.
> 
> If God has spoken to you about a mate, keep it to yourself.  Don’t tell anybody.  Something I learned is that when God puts something in your spirit and He tells you He is going to bring it to pass, the devil will do everything in his power to make it look like it won’t happen.  I made a big mistake by telling my “friends”, at that time, what God had shown me.  They laughed at me, told me I was out of touch with reality and surely I’d miss-heard.  One “friend” even told me that maybe I would marry a man by the same name, but it wouldn’t be my ex.  But God is so good and brought a true friend into my life who not only helped me get closer to God, but became my prayer partner and two years after God told me my ex would be my husband, he confirmed it to my prayer partner and she and I began to pray together about it.




My pastor preached about this same thing today! I'm really trying to listen when it comes to this, but it is so hard!


----------



## chicacanella (Dec 15, 2008)

bump....................


----------



## aribell (Dec 21, 2008)

This thread might be interesting in light of this question:

http://longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=287455


----------



## BeautifulFlower (Mar 26, 2009)

bumpity bump. Great thread.


----------



## Kiadodie (Mar 26, 2009)

Great thread!! I really do believe that it is SO important to be close to God so you can "hear" Him speak to you.

One time recently when I prayed abt this, God spoke to me and all He said was "Seek Me". That's it.

So that's what I'm doing now. He hasn't told or showed me who my future mate will be_ but_ I believe in due time He will reveal that to me and my future mate.


----------



## discobiscuits (Mar 26, 2009)

God does not tell me who my mate is, He tells me if He approves of my choice in mate. I'm speaking for me as that is the relationship I have with my Father.


----------

