# Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation...



## auparavant (Apr 22, 2012)

And I'm not bi. I think that when things happen when you're a certain age, and this was young, you might have feared it might have been true. Certainly, you could be aroused to a certain thing occasionally if you do not guard yourself considering that you might have been manipulated by another, even another child...but that doesn't make you that orientation. Psychologically, my mind is 1/2 male, `1/2 female. I process things in the middle, I guess, balanced. Is that bi? I dunno and I thought it might have been. I think it's just in the middle. 

Do I desire women? No. Have I ever been aroused? Yes. Do I act upon such? No, not at all. So, for all you out there who have wondered as I have and even classified myself as something that I'm truly not, here goes:


My old post:




Guitarhero said:


> I've been trying to find a way to say and ask around this situation without causing controversy, but are we more afraid of their homosexuality than the crimes and/or abusive manipulation he committed? It seems to me we fear homosexuality rather than wish to address the destructive behaviors (and in that, we can include masturbation and heterosexual promiscuity).





Guitarhero said:


> Granted, biblically (and not just christianity) and historically in the middle-east, it's simply an abomination. But the act of unmarried sex that is homosexual is the abomination, not the make-up of the person. I truly do not believe there is per se a demon, I think there is some kind of disordered desire for it to exist in the first place because we know that sex in marriage is for procreation and is a sacred act and that biology is a certain way from creation. Maybe G-d throws curveballs?
> 
> However, and I expect to get a few raised eye-brows, there are those of us with same-sex orientation and do not act out on it ...at least, not now. I am one of them and I'm a christian with a Jewish affiliation of sorts. I'm two-spirited, not gay, but bi. I accept it. Of course, I wish to be married but I do know that I have this tendency and I've fulfilled it in the past. For a relationship, I prefer men. How is it a sin to BE of such an orientation/chemical/mental/etc. when you do not ACT upon it? I wouldn't say I have any demonic spirit residing inside of me. Perhaps there are those who disagree...but I know myself and my relationship with G-d.
> 
> ...




And I have had desires, but there is a big difference between actually being gay. How much that manipulation at 12 or 11 affected me? Probably quite a bit, at least in fer. Do I hate LGBT? Absolutely not. I feel for the community because...they are people and I chose to identify with that affected community because of extreme prejudice and still will support their rights as humans. But if you have been (is it molestation if by another child?) so affected, it might not be true that you are gay/bi...etc. It could be that it was the result of an event and that all this time, you thought of yourself in a certain way whenever you presented those feelings. This post is already long...I'm going to send in an article for the next one.


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## auparavant (Apr 22, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

http://www.webfieldtrips.com/PSY210doc/WhosGay.pdf

It's not a christian article...it's a medical/psychology article and one of the features of it is how they classify sexual orientation. For example, what is the (keyword) "behavior" of the person during the past year or after puberty? That is the key. Again, I'm not saying that previous youth experience cannot and does not have its effects on the psyche at intermittent times in adulthood...I'm a firm believer that it can.  And I still  believe that being gay (the orientation) is not the sin, that it's the act of past a certain age of accountability.


Either way, we are all Christ's children. He is not disgusted with homosexuality in the way that WE are disgusted by it. He sees deeply inside and understands it. As all sin, He's probably disgusted that we choose something that doesn't lead to life by its actions. And as always, there is the psychological essence of a person. Christ never casts that away. Healing of man involves many aspects and most christians do not consider it, although things are changing into a more positive direction in modernity. We are beginning to see the whole man as we apply the gospel of Christ.

In short, I've struggled a little bit with this subject and took it upon myself to just consider this might be/was my orientation and in the end, it's not. Shrugs. Yes, this is of a sensitive nature. Should I tell my kids about the incidence of "doctor" as well as the person's older sister (well-beyond puberty who basically molested me)? Eh, I don't think so. G-d forbid my children are molested...ever...but I don't think it's truly an issue now. I do give them guidelines for when they are with others and/or in their homes to prevent abuse (any pediatrician will reiterate this with every well-ness check).

So there...here it is, raw, complete...true. Will I turn my back on gays? Nope. I have come to understand something very deep inside of them that few others know or attempt to know about being outcasted. And since my initial response was in that Eddie Long thread, I just wonder what it was that Eddie Long himself might have experienced. Was he a perpetrator as a youth? I even wonder about the person who experienced and lead me to that incidence...what are they now? I don't know. But I've come full-circle. 

Do I think that my mindset/psychology (just some basic tests) is actually indicating bi? I don't know as I'm in the middle. Maybe true bi-sexuals lean more towards the male side? I'd welcome anybody knowledgeble in psychology who can give a religious spin on it to comment. Someone in Off Topic once sent in an article talking about same-sex experiences and how they don't indicate homosexuality except after a certain age.  I need to find that article again.  

But I've been open enough to look deeply inside myself and possibly accept what could have been. No shame here. It's just not the case. And part of that is that I didn't comprehend that timing of an incidence is of the essence. Well, I'd say that if you saw something that was meant to cause arousal and it did...well, avoid that (foreign film....  guard your eyes/heart). But do I act upon it? No, I don't and didn't. And I'm glad I looked into it and talked about it. If it were true, I'd still expect the body of Christ to lend understanding and love, rather than fear and rejection. But can I say that people do that? No, I can't - not for the mostpart. And that is sad.


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## auparavant (Apr 22, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

164 views...lolol!!!


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## JeterCrazed (Apr 22, 2012)

Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF


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## Shimmie (Apr 22, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

Speaking with a heart of compassion, I'm sorry for what you experienced as a child.    No child should be exposed to any type of sexual encounters whether it's by another child, let alone an adult.


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## auparavant (Apr 22, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



JeterCrazed said:


> Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF


 

I'm going to have to call you on your blatant rudeness here. It's unwarranted and inexcused. This posting is based upon something we had a discussion about over a year ago. I have lost all respect for you. You are giggling about something someone has previously been distressed about and some of it involved child abuse? I finally came to terms with that particular aspect about it. You're laughing? I was quite open about it on this list long before you came on the scene and demonstrated my compassion for the LGBT community as it's LOVED in my church and that it should be shown love and compassion in all churches. You truly suck as a person.


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## JeterCrazed (Apr 22, 2012)

auparavant said:
			
		

> 164 views...lolol!!!






			
				auparavant said:
			
		

> I'm going to have to call you on your blatant rudeness here. It's unwarranted and inexcused. This posting is based upon something we had a discussion about over a year ago. I have lost all respect for you. You are giggling about something someone has previously been distressed about and some of it involved child abuse? I finally came to terms with that particular aspect about it. You're laughing? I was quite open about it on this list long before you came on the scene and demonstrated my compassion for the LGBT community as it's LOVED in my church and that it should be shown love and compassion in all churches. You truly suck as a person.



Thank you VERY MUCH  Your assumptions have proved a very valid point. 

That was easy.

Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF


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## auparavant (Apr 22, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



JeterCrazed said:


> Thank you VERY MUCH  Your assumptions have proved a very valid point.
> 
> That was easy.
> 
> Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF


 

Valid in that you suck? Why are you giggling and carrying on? I don't want your false kisses, they remind me of Judas. No thanks. If you meant something else, then learn HOW your post appears to others and adjust it accordingly..but since I have witnessed how you post with much snark across this board, double "no thanks." If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong.  And if you are attempting to smirk at the christian community here, then triple "no thanks."  We have had many transparent convos on here looking deeply into this particular issue and scripture.  We're no fools, ma'am.  Ignore...


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## JeterCrazed (Apr 22, 2012)

auparavant said:
			
		

> Valid in that you suck? Why are you giggling and carrying on? I don't want your false kisses, they remind me of Judas. No thanks. If you meant something else, then learn HOW your post appears to others and adjust it accordingly..but since I have witnessed how you post with much snark across this board, double "no thanks." If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong.  And if you are attempting to smirk at the christian community here, then triple "no thanks."  We have had many transparent convos on here looking deeply into this particular issue and scripture.  We're no fools, ma'am.  Ignore...



Oh, please!!!  Don't forget a previous convo we've had. I'll let you thumb through your logs. Invoking mob psychology when it's convenient is so unbecoming. Talk about losing respect.  

If you really wanted to know, you would've asked, so I feel just dandy letting that marinate with you. 

Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF


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## Laela (Apr 23, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

auparavant, our confidence in Christ keeps us open and honest ... it's the only way to healing. We all have our own crosses and weaknesses and I had some childhood experiences myself. I truly believe that when God removes hurt and pain that comes from childhood experiences (esp sexual exploitation), they are gone..residue and all .. because He has the power to remove the guilt and shame that came through someone else's sins. And, certainly, if HE remembers no more, neither should we. I know you're just sharing, but I do have more of an understanding of where you're coming from. God bless~


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## auparavant (Apr 23, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



Laela said:


> @auparavant, our confidence in Christ keeps us open and honest ... it's the only way to healing. We all have our own crosses and weaknesses and I had some childhood experiences myself. I truly believe that when God removes hurt and pain that comes from childhood experiences (esp sexual exploitation), they are gone..residue and all .. because He has the power to remove the guilt and shame that came through someone else's sins. And, certainly, if HE remembers no more, neither should we. I know you're just sharing, but I do have more of an understanding of where you're coming from. God bless~


 

I think that looking at such things is not remembering any supposed guilt nor shame, but is a tool used in knowing where you stand in your life.  It is good to look at all aspects of life.  What  G-d asks us to do is to forgive others.  We have memory because He put it there but the difference is in how you nurse the memories.  

I'm sharing for those who might have had the same experiences and might have not known how to classify them.  And it gives me more understanding of the LBGT community, not that I think they have all been manipulated, but for those who are truly born of it, I still choose to stand beside them, loving them as my church commands me to do continually.    We can all stand to learn to knock down the walls, as my cousin says of many situations lol.  Love that phrase.  There's so much an element of "oooh, those kinds of people..." even in the church...without us realizing...there is no fence between us.  

And I apologize for responding to the negative post.  I should not have allowed it to bother me.


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## Galadriel (Apr 23, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

auparavant, I'm very sorry to hear of your experience, and such experiences can have far-reaching effects on people (esp. kids). I imagine that healing is definitely a long process, and hopefully you have close friends/family as a support system who can be there to listen to you and let you unburden yourself (when you feel you need to).


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## divya (Apr 23, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

Just wanted to let you know that I read your posts and plan to respond in a little while.


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## SummerSolstice (Apr 23, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

auparavant don't feed the troll my love. 

and thanks for your honesty


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Apr 23, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

I'm holding my place ...to share a similar experience and my thoughts on it ...


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## Shimmie (Apr 23, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

auparavant....

I came across my original response to you in the thread when you shared your heart two years ago.    I hope it's okay to re-post my response to you from that thread.  It's here and 'unedited'.  

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showpost.php?p=12056552&postcount=34




			
				Shimmie said:
			
		

> Amazing Grace...
> 
> This is what God has for all of us, no matter who we are, what we think, what we do... Amazing Grace is what God has chosen to extend towards all.
> 
> ...


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Apr 23, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

I guess if you were to take a pole I'd dare say at least 50% of the women on this board have been molested.. 

I was by a female family friend (I had been sexually abused at least twice before by two different people)...over the years I've had desires for the same sex but I have never acted on them, I always knew that they were wrong and felt ashamed for having them, actually this is the first time that I am admitting to anyone other than God what my feelings were towards the same sex. 

I have always known that my sexual preference was (and is) for a man and that my desires were not natural and I later realized those desires were there because they were ‘planted’ by my molestation and were 'fueled' in my teenage and adult years by my reading, watching pornography and indulging in self pleasure (masturbation).

In my opinion, molestation leaves behind something...it is a disturbance to the very soul of a person, it causes gender confusion, can cause doubt and fear, can cause you to act out, be premiscuous, have self esteem issues, equate love to sex and the list is endless...

It is a sin of the flesh, it is lust bound up in the hearts of (man/woman) that given the opportunity produces sin and it also thinks of ways to please itself, it devises evil, strengthened by fantasy perversion is soon carried out on the unsuspecting and innocent.

I believe that it is demonic in nature (though I know of no scriptures to verify my theories specifically, but my beliefs are based on my own experiences and what I've heard from others who have had similar experiences) it creates many strong holds that is evident like pornograpy masturbation and other addictive behaviours.

I'm not sympathethic to homosexuals because I have been exposed, I'm sympathetic because we don't (including myself) know how far reaching this this thing is, how it affects both the mind and body, neither do we quite understand the tactics of the devil, the very lengths he will go to to destroy man kind, he has deceived many of us.

As for me I, I know that I have been delivered, sometimes I have thoughts but I know that they are not my own they are suggestions from the enemy and I pull them down immediately. Guarding my eyes constantly to what I watch and I limit myself to what I will read, it's real work but deliverance is possible.


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## Laela (Apr 23, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

Thanks for being so open and sharing your testimony...you never know whom this will bless!

This... ITA, wholeheartedly... it's like a root that grows in the crevices of the mind.. away from light... that needs to be plucked up. 



Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> In my opinion, molestation leaves behind something...it is a disturbance to the very soul of a person, it causes gender confusion, can cause doubt and fear, can cause you to act out, be premiscuous, have self esteem issues, equate love to sex and the list is endless...
> 
> It is a sin of the flesh, it is lust bound up in the hearts of (man/woman) that given the opportunity produces sin and it also thinks of ways to please itself, it devises evil, strengthened by fantasy perversion is soon carried out on the unsuspecting and innocent.
> 
> I believe that it is demonic in nature.


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## Shimmie (Apr 23, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> As for me I, I know that I have been delivered, sometimes I have thoughts but I know that they are not my own they are suggestions from the enemy and I pull them down immediately. Guarding my eyes constantly to what I watch and I limit myself to what I will read, it's real work but deliverance is possible.



Iwanthealthyhair67 ...

It is no small wonder why your Ministry is so strong.  In the same manner that King Herod feared Jesus, satan fears you, yet he can never have nor control you.  Your heart has always been set upon Jesus.   

Somethings you just know about people and you can always identify those who have a strong foundation with the Lord.   I've always seen this in you.  You don't mince words, you don't play with scripture, you are grounded in God's Word and you are bonded to His presence.   

Remember Enoch, how he always walked with the Lord?   This is you; you talk to God constantly all through the day and even in your sleep.  You wake up with God, talking with Him even before you open your eyes in the morning and you even awake in the middle of the night, talking to the Lord and listening to Him.     

Isaiah 50:4... Morning by Morning

_The Sovereign LORD has given me his words of wisdom, so that I know how to comfort the weary. Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will._

It is no small wonder that I listen to you.  This isn't flattery.   It is no small wonder that I listen to you.  I don't have a testimony such as been shared in this thread, yet it doesn't mean that my life is without sin.  I thank God for the Words that He pours out of your heart and into mine.  Words of fire which pierce my heart to fall in line and take heed to God's wisdom.  You have words which keep me in check.   And I thank God ... I thank God... I thank God.  You have words which give me life.   

You have fire in your heart for God and it's captures even the hardest of hearts.    People 'listen' to you, whether they admit or not, they are listening and it's bearing much fruit.  

I thank God for you, Healthy Hair...   My sister in Christ Jesus.    I thank God for you, each day.


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## MSee (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

auparavant I truly appreciate your openess. I knew nothing of your previous posts mentioned in this thread but sensed a sexual identity struggle in other threads, in the past. At first I felt like I was judging a stranger but then I had a thought that, if I'm sensing correctly I should just pray because it was obvious you were seeking God and I know He will reveal His truth to you. 

I too was molested as a child but by the opposite sex and at an age when I should not have been able to remember. I'm living proof that God can make all things new. He kept me from a lot of things that could have happened as a result of that. I believe that God can make anyone what His word declares we can be no matter what was done to us, not matter the effect it had on us, but we have to be willing to surrender ourselves absolutely to Him and His way. 

You are not bi you are a woman. Forgive me if I offend you by saying that. I just believe God's Word in it's simplicity and what He has made you, He has made you. But it is your choice to believe about yourself what you will. 

I'm fighting the temptation to delete my post simply because you have already made yourself vulnerable by your openess and I wouldn't want to hurt your feelings in anyway. 

Shimmie and Iwanthealthyhair67 the thanks button is not enough. Your posts are truly appreciated.


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## LucieLoo12 (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

I myself was molested by a man and a woman in my childhood years. Though I never acted on any feelings, homosexual thoughts would cross my mind from time and time again. But its nothing but the blood of Jesus that can cleanse someone  from this.I dont care how much therapy they take, it can only be done through Christ. Never get content with feeling this way because you can be delievered and I mean fully delievered. But you have to want to be delievered.I know the battle in the flesh that can occur. Your flesh is saying one thing but youre mind saying something else. But I know that God has washed my and freed me, and I am not looking back to that. Those that are in Christ are a new creature, old things are passed away, all things are become new.


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## CoilyFields (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

I appluad your honesty and openess about a subject that is often "taboo" in the Christian arena. It's not an "ok" sin like lying or gossiping. And most of us Christians dont know how to love the person...(it is often times based on the confusing-and wrong-assumption that if you are loving to the person that you are "supporting" the sin-but only in the case of homosexuality).

Molestation can be a very big factor in sexual orientation...it confuses the mind of a child, often awakening or molding desires that would have otherwised gone a different route. 

I understand from previous posts that in the Catholic Church it is the homosexual act that is the sin, not the homosexual orientation. In most of Protestantism it is the orientation/desire that is a sin, not just the act. In light of that I would warn just to be careful that you be on guard not to "excuse" the desire (not that Im saying you have) because like any other desire (to lie, steal, cheat etc.) it must be constantly checked at the point of conception. (Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."). 

I Do believe with all of my heart that God can and will deliver us from ANY stronghold over our lives (even natural or manufactured desires)-unless he keeps that thorn in our flesh for HIS purposes (like with Paul). But whichever it is to be for you, I pray that you find REST in God in this area of your life.

Sidenote: Am I slow or what? I _so _did not know you were Guitarhero!


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## auparavant (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

Just to make clear....I'm not homosexual...and I don't struggle with such thoughts daily.... I think there are many outlets where that can trigger an arousal, like a movie or something. What I am about is looking honestly at life. I wish I could find that post and the articles that person sent in stating basically that most people have either had or desired an encounter that would be considered "homosexual" but also that any such behaviors indicating that to be your orientation depends upon when and how frequent. I'm still looking for it. That would mean that more than 1/2 the world's population is right there at some point in their lives. It's not a stronghold in my life.


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## firecracker (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



JeterCrazed said:


> Thank you VERY MUCH  Your assumptions have proved a very valid point.
> 
> That was easy.
> 
> Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF





auparavant said:


> Valid in that you suck? Why are you giggling and carrying on? I don't want your false kisses, they remind me of Judas. No thanks. If you meant something else, then learn HOW your post appears to others and adjust it accordingly..but since I have witnessed how you post with much snark across this board, double "no thanks." If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong.  And if you are attempting to smirk at the christian community here, then triple "no thanks."  We have had many transparent convos on here looking deeply into this particular issue and scripture.  We're no fools, ma'am.  Ignore...




Ya'll need ta stop.  

By the way I didn't know that was you Guitar.  Keep your head up!


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## Shimmie (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



CoilyFields said:


> I appluad your honesty and openess about a subject that is often "taboo" in the Christian arena.
> 
> *It's not an "ok" sin like lying or gossiping. *
> 
> ...



This what I don't understand.   Regarding the bolded, why is it assumed that Christians regard other sins as okay or pardonable, whenever homosexuality is spoken of?    

I've yet to see / hear any Christian condone lying, stealing, gossiping, adultery, etc.  

Important Note:   This isn't coming from controversy; just a question that came to mind when I read your post, that's all.    Your post has compassion; you're ministering to this life changing situations shared in this thread.   

So again, my question is not contentious.    

I don't get it . . .


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

@MSee

If you can't remember don't worry about it...I don't mean to sound harsh in anyway but as long as you know that something did in fact happen that is what's important...

I can't remember the third person or much of the events but I KNOW that it did happen, I asked God not to bring him/her back to my memory only that I forgive them, I forgave because I wanted to be healed completely, I don't need to remember who, I don't need to lament any longer than necessary or walk around feeling bitter and sorry for myself, acknowleding that something in appropriate happened was enough for me...


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## CoilyFields (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



Shimmie said:


> This what I don't understand. Regarding the bolded, why is it assumed that Christians regard other sins as okay or pardonable, whenever homosexuality is spoken of?
> 
> I've yet to see / hear any Christian condone lying, stealing, gossiping, adultery, etc.
> 
> ...


 

I dont mean that Christians condone those sins but that they do not rebuke, castigate, nor point them out and look down on others when they are done nearly as hard as when someone is a practicing homosexual (especially with cross-gendered tendancies).  

A homosexual male (with feminine tendancies) is looked at with contempt and suspicion while the boyfriend and girlfriend living together who fornicate are treated as a legitimate couple. This is not about people _teaching_ that one sin is greater than another but in how people may _treat_ them differently inside the Chruchouse.

 I have seen people get the cold shoulder in church...or some Christians ready with a battle ax (notice I did not say the sword of the spirit lol) to cut them down while ignornig the gossiping cliques at war in the church. Becuase gossiping can be something more identifiable and "common" to all (everyone has lied before...most of us have cheated at/on something etc.) its held up as a special sin as opposed to the sin of someone, just like us, who has fallen short of the glory of God and should be drawn back in *love*  (not disgust/contempt). And becuase of that ignorance (often unwillfull), converstaions like these never take place. 

Shimmie, that commentary was to answer your question not to castigate you personally...you go hard on EVERY sin lol


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## Shimmie (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



CoilyFields said:


> I dont mean that Christians condone those sins but that they do not rebuke, castigate, nor point them out and look down on others when they are done nearly as hard as when someone is a practicing homosexual (especially with cross-gendered tendancies).
> 
> A homosexual male (with feminine tendancies) is looked at with contempt and suspicion while the boyfriend and girlfriend living together who fornicate are treated as a legitimate couple. This is not about people _teaching_ that one sin is greater than another but in how people may _treat_ them differently inside the Chruchouse.
> 
> ...



I deleted my original reply.  I'm home from work and I realized I needed to delete it.     However, Coily, I wanted to say thanks for understanding my question and for seeing that I wasn't being contenious when asking.    

@the bolded...  Yeah... you know me well.


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## naturalgyrl5199 (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



JeterCrazed said:


> Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF


 
JeterCrazed:

What's so funny?


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## JeterCrazed (Apr 24, 2012)

naturalgyrl5199 said:
			
		

> JeterCrazed:
> 
> What's so funny?



The same thing the OP thought was funny.

Sent from my Inspire HD using LHCF


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## MSee (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> @MSee
> 
> If you can't remember don't worry about it...I don't mean to sound harsh in anyway but as long as you know that something did in fact happen that is what's important...
> 
> I can't remember the third person or much of the events but I KNOW that it did happen, I asked God not to bring him/her back to my memory only that I forgive them, I forgave because I wanted to be healed completely, I don't need to remember who, I don't need to lament any longer than necessary or walk around feeling bitter and sorry for myself, acknowleding that something in appropriate happened was enough for me...


 
To clarify, I was at an age where it is believed children do not recall things. I did. It came back to me as I grew up, in graffic...I'm not sure what to call it, flash backs may be. 

I'm glad I remembered. For years later when we moved back to that neighborhood the same person (an older cousin) dared give me the leering look on several occassions. Once when we met alone he did that and said something to me. I was an extremely silent teenager and I simply responded with a look that apparantly spoke volumes because he visible looked shocked and avoided me after that. I'm also glad I remembered because if he should show up in my life again unchanged, I have my children to protect.

I believe in forgiveness, refuse bitterness, accept the lesson. However I believe that in certain situations, not forgetting is for my own protection.

I percieve that this thread is going to help a lot of people who are too afraid to speak up about their struggles.


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## auparavant (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

Regarding forgiveness...that takes on different expressions of it.  Some people suppress the event whereas others need to compartmentalize it.  Still others try and regard it to explain it.  If someone remembers, doesn't mean they are harboring bitterness.  But I'd think that, just as someone who was the victim of a murdered family member or some other violent crime like bank robbery, there would be negative feelings.  But that doesn't equate with "unforgiveness."  Please be careful judging how individuals deal with their situations.


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## Laela (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

I know everyone is different and we all deal with our struggles and experiences differently..however, if we remember an experience and there are any negative feelings toward someone, then aught or unforgiveness is still there... when the thought of my sister's boyfriend (who killed her) come to mind, I don't feel angry or bitter. Oh, I remember the situation well, but I'm in a place where I'd released it all into God's Hands and forgave the man. I've prayed for his soul and for his family and would minister to him face to face, if I get the opportunity. I have no aught, because I'd released it to God and trusted Him to heal my heart. That aught can keep a wedge between me and God.

I don't believe we truly forgive (ourselves or others) until we release it to God. We are instructed to cast ALL our cares and burdens onto Him and not carry them. To carry them means we don't trust that God can help nor do we believe He will... 

GOD IS A TURNAROUND GOD... A GOD OF COMPLETE RESTORATION.. ITA that we can remember and that because we remember doesn't mean there is bitterness..BUT IF that rememberance evokes any negative emotions/feelings, then the aught and unforgiveness is still there. Sometimes we just like to convince ourselves that it's not... 




auparavant said:


> Regarding forgiveness...that takes on different expressions of it. Some people suppress the event whereas others need to compartmentalize it. Still others try and regard it to explain it. If someone remembers, doesn't mean they are harboring bitterness. But I'd think that, just as someone who was the victim of a murdered family member or some other violent crime like bank robbery, *there would be negative feelings. But that doesn't equate with "unforgiveness."* Please be careful judging how individuals deal with their situations.


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

I think my way of speaking many times I am misunderstood ...This subject is very dear to me and I certainly would  not want someone who has been hurt the way I have and the way many on this board has been to think that I have been insensitive to their experiene in any way.


I never suggested that anyone was walking in unforgiveness I simply said what I had to do to be healed and delivered...








auparavant said:


> Regarding forgiveness...that takes on different expressions of it. Some people suppress the event whereas others need to compartmentalize it. Still others try and regard it to explain it. If someone remembers, doesn't mean they are harboring bitterness. But I'd think that, just as someone who was the victim of a murdered family member or some other violent crime like bank robbery, there would be negative feelings. But that doesn't equate with "unforgiveness." Please be careful judging how individuals deal with their situations.


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## auparavant (Apr 24, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> I think my way of speaking many times I am misunderstood ...This subject is very dear to me and I certainly would not want someone who has been hurt the way I have and the way many on this board has been to think that I have been insensitive to their experiene in any way.
> 
> 
> I never suggested that anyone was walking in unforgiveness I simply said what I had to do to be healed and delivered...


 

I'm glad you clarified.  I didn't want others to think that, if they remembered, they were not walking right.  It's so individual an issue.  Thanks for commenting!!!!


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## auparavant (Apr 25, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



Alicialynn86 said:


> I myself was molested by a man and a woman in my childhood years. Though I never acted on any feelings, homosexual thoughts would cross my mind from time and time again. But its nothing but the blood of Jesus that can cleanse someone from this.I dont care how much therapy they take, it can only be done through Christ. Never get content with feeling this way because you can be delievered and I mean fully delievered. But you have to want to be delievered.I know the battle in the flesh that can occur. Your flesh is saying one thing but youre mind saying something else. But I know that God has washed my and freed me, and I am not looking back to that. Those that are in Christ are a new creature, old things are passed away, all things are become new.


 


This is exactly what I was afraid would happen in this thread. I was truly hoping people would read beyond the post. Hopefully, you are speaking "in general" to someone other than me...although, I appreciate you mean well. Another thing, I was talking basically about kids playing doctor...not being raped by adults. The older person was a sibling...just a few years beyond 12 at the time...who should have known better...but alas. But...deep sigh...I hope people can seriously open up to the actual subject because I don't need "deliverance" from anything. I hope you comprehend without feeling hurt as I don't meant this by my post. I'm not sitting around seething with homosexual thoughts.  I was mostly examining past events and current possibilities based upon experiences.  I'm glad I got it all sorted out, no matter the outcome.


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## Laela (Apr 25, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

Well then, auparavant - maybe Alicialynn's post is for someone else... this is really a great topic but as you've started the thread or every time someone comments, doesn't mean every post is about you. There is far more going on here than that...and people ARE opening up...  I like that this thread has a 'healing effect' to it....


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## auparavant (Apr 25, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*



Laela said:


> Well then, @auparavant - maybe Alicialynn's post is for someone else... this is really a great topic but as you've started the thread or every time someone comments, doesn't mean every post is about you. There is far more going on here than that...and people ARE opening up...  I like that this thread has a 'healing effect' to it....


 

Calm down just a tad...I asked her just to make sure....when people start in with the "you can get delivered"...I want to make sure they comprehend my stance as I wish to comprehend theirs. I know that, at some point, the issue of whether it's sin to have that mindset or to act upon it is the actual sin is going to come up. I've stated my views upon it various times. I know that it's not all about me. I'm making sure it's understood that I'm not seething with thoughts that need to be healed and delivered. K? I also like that it has a healing effect...but I also hope that people don't push away the subject of it because it's uncomfortable and they might feel afraid of it (not pointing to Alicialynn). I hope that I can ask HER and clarify all this without someone else attempting to point out that "it's not all about me."  Not my intent to think it is. I just want people to think deeply about the general topic and I used myself as an example, only.  It's not just one post, but it's also pm's.  I don't want anyone to think I'm devastated, downtrodden, destroyed nor needing someone else to feel sorry for me or that I'm down in the dumps lol.  It's human life.  

Thanks for pointing this all out. It's not truly my intent...what you are concerned about. Likewise, I'm giving a further explanation that I thought was appropriate. In other words, let's not attribute to one what is not there...that is my concern.  But I'll let this post take it's own turns and I'll not comment much more in it to allow it.  As you say..."healing effect."  Just that...nobody assume anything about me personally...please.  But when I can find that specific article, I'll be sure to post it here.  Thanks again for your concerns.


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## Laela (Apr 25, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

Girl, I am calm.. please stop assuming I'm not every time I try to address you.  Is the word "deliverance" a trigger word for you? I'm asking seriously, with no ill intent.


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## auparavant (Apr 25, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

@Laela, think about it...I'm trying to explain to people. What do I need to be delivered from, though? I feel you are attacking me, actually and I sense you don't at all prefer me...I know. I am not against you...I'm trying to clarify the situation for me as the "example." But I also want to make it clear that I don't need any kind of deliverance etc. as, well, I've explained it before...reiterating...that I hope that was generally posted. I've gotten Pm's, ok? I am not at all devastated and down-trodden. I've also re-edited my response to you, trying to make it as understood as possible, in the nicest and most succinct way so as not to offend you as it is not my intent. L-rd, help me, I am sincerely trying to explain it.


ETA: I believe MSee said it best in her last post aboutit helping so many.  I know what she means in her thread and it's more about understanding the feeling rather than being able to express it in words.  For me, on the one hand, being open about such a thing is difficult because you 1) get well-meaning people who automatically think there are certain broken pieces when you might have healed from it and 2) offer something that is beyond that situation (I hope it's understood).  And yet, maybe my post isn't so much about child sexual abuse from adults but is actually about child sexual experiences (any kind of sexual contact...not actual coitus).  Maybe this is what I needed to make clear.  As for the 15 year old?  I don't know that she was mature enough to comprehend social moes...maybe.  But an adult that would initiate sex with a child (actual coitus or foreplay) is another animal altogether.  I don't mean to mislead in this discussion...but all comments are welcome.  Just keep in mind what was pointed out previously....all I humbly ask.  Here's to healing!!!


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## Laela (Apr 25, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

@the bolded, I assure you I am not attacking you, chica...  I see it's a Catch-22.. I keep wondering why you picking on me like that, and I see now that you think I'm picking on you.. lol.. ah well, no harm ...you know we love you here. This is a great topic, sans misunderstandings. Nothing wrong with deliverance...we should all want that. I just didn't agree on the forgiveness part. 

I apologize if I offended you or you thought I was attacking you.. it's a topic I can relate to.. so thanks for the clarity! 



auparavant said:


> @Laela, think about it...I'm trying to explain to people. What do I need to be delivered from, though? *I feel you are attacking me, actually and I sense you don't at all prefer me...I kno*w. I am not against you...I'm trying to clarify the situation for me as the "example." But I also want to make it clear that I don't need any kind of deliverance etc. as, well, I've explained it before...reiterating...that I hope that was generally posted. I've gotten Pm's, ok? I am not at all devastated and down-trodden. I've also re-edited my response to you, trying to make it as understood as possible, in the nicest and most succinct way so as not to offend you as it is not my intent. L-rd, help me, I am sincerely trying to explain it.


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## BrandNew (Apr 25, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

Thank you @auparavant for being so open and honest and opening this discussion. I hope it doesn't go off course.

This hit close to home for me, but I'm not ready to go into details or talk about my experiences here. I just wanted to say that I understand your views @auparavant. @Alicialynn86 thanks was not enough!


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## Rsgal (Apr 25, 2012)

*Re: Sensitive Nature: So I had a talk with someone concerning my previous situation..*

auparavant and Iwanthealthyhair67


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