# Christians who have sex . . .



## Glib Gurl (Feb 1, 2008)

Does anyone have a friend or relative that is a Christian (and not just the "I go to church every once in a while/Christmas/Mother's Day/Easter" folk, but the up in church every week, can quote scripture and verse, gives their tithe type of Christian) who regularly has sex?  (Or perhaps you are that person . . . .)  How does that person feel about it?  Are they conflicted?  Or do they rationalize it?  If so, how?  How do you feel about this person and their faith -- do you think they're hypocrites?  

Please ladies, let's not judge.  Rather let's help each other be the people God wants us to be . . . . 

Thanks,

Glib


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## Shimmie (Feb 1, 2008)

Glib Gurl said:


> Does anyone have a friend or relative that is a Christian (and not just the "I go to church every once in a while/Christmas/Mother's Day/Easter" folk, but the up in church every week, can quote scripture and verse, gives their tithe type of Christian) who regularly has sex? (Or perhaps you are that person . . . .) How does that person feel about it? Are they conflicted? Or do they rationalize it? If so, how? How do you feel about this person and their faith -- do you think they're hypocrites?
> 
> Please ladies, let's not judge. Rather let's help each other be the people God wants us to be . . . .
> 
> ...


I know this thread is serious, and I respect it as such. 

As I was reading, through your words, I thought, Geeeeeee, someone's actually doing it on a regular basis? There are some married folk who don't...on the 'regular'. 

But to answer your question, I know *of* 'some' single Christians who have sex occasionally or have had sex and are trying to remain abstinent. Some are engaged, others are dating, others are just out there in 'random' land. 

I can't judge them anymore... I used to, but I can't. Some are my family members and they are just out there because the world has conditioned them to feel it's okay. I'm sad, because some have gotten pregnant. But I just can't judge them anymore. I'm just sad and want to see them have better. 

Blessings Precious 'GG'. This is an excellent thread topic.


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## janiebaby (Feb 1, 2008)

I have known people like this. In that case the people rationalized it because they were going to get married. My Christian friends, stopped having sex and moved away from each other until they got married because they felt conflicted about it.


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## janiebaby (Feb 1, 2008)

Now to talk about myself. I have had sex before regularly I was a "real" Christian. Real in the sense that I actually started to build a relationship with God and stopped playing Church. 

I have had sex while I was a "real" Christian and I felt so empty and remorseful that it made me seek God even more fervently because of our relationship. I didn't even get anything from the sex act, that's how horrible it was. The whole time I kept justifying it and I realized later that I was angry at God for a lot of things. I'm not gonna get too deep here but we talked about it and we're working on my anger issues. 

I'm not gonna sit here and play the struggle card because life is a struggle and I'm not gonna sit here and act like it's ok for Christians to have sex either. I think that if you don't repent and feel remorse for your actions and you try to justify them then you need to re-evaluate your relationship with God. I know that when I justified stuff I was not a "real" Christian and I knew it then and would tell you.


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## Glib Gurl (Feb 1, 2008)

Thank you, everyone for your responses . . . I'm so glad that we can discuss these things!  I really appreciate everyone's feedback and it is helping me cope


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## Jenaee (Feb 1, 2008)

janiebaby said:


> Now to talk about myself. I have had sex before regularly I was a "real" Christian. Real in the sense that I actually started to build a relationship with God and stopped playing Church.
> 
> *I have had sex while I was a "real" Christian and I felt so empty and remorseful that it made me seek God even more fervently because of our relationship.* I didn't even get anything from the sex act, that's how horrible it was. The whole time I kept justifying it and I realized later that I was angry at God for a lot of things. I'm not gonna get too deep here but we talked about it and we're working on my anger issues.
> 
> I'm not gonna sit here and play the struggle card because life is a struggle and I'm not gonna sit here and act like it's ok for Christians to have sex either. I think that if you don't repent and feel remorse for your actions and you try to justify them then you need to re-evaluate your relationship with God. I know that when I justified stuff I was not a "real" Christian and I knew it then and would tell you.




That was me. I aint gotta lie to kick it. I would do the deed Saturday night and be in church Sunday morning. While I felt remorse for what I was doing, I didn't wanna stop. I was supposedly "in love" and that's what people in love do right?!? WRONG

It took the destruction of that relationship (and several prior bad relationships) for me to realize that pre-martial sex is not HIS plan for me. That break-up broke me down to the core but also made me take a look at my life. I began to realize that my sexual sin was blocking what GOD had in store for me. Not anyone else, it was *me* blocking *me*. 

With much repentance and prayer, I am now abstinent. I won't say it's not a struggle at times, but I will not allow lust to control me again!!!


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## Crackers Phinn (Feb 1, 2008)

Glib Gurl said:


> (Or perhaps you are that person . . . .)  How does that person feel about it?  Are they conflicted?  Or do they rationalize it?  If so, how?  How do you feel about this person and their faith -- do you think they're hypocrites?



Truth be told I don't think they really believe they are doing anything wrong. 

I withold calling folk hypocrites until they begin the 'do as I say not as I do' routine.


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## locabouthair (Feb 1, 2008)

My male best friend goes to church EVERY sunday and is very active in his church but has no problem fornicating.  I asked him about it and he said,"loca, I know I'm going to hell"

He did say if he met a girl who wanted to wait till marriage, he would wait.


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## chellero (Feb 1, 2008)

I know people who do this.  One says that it's a sin just like any other sin, and everyone sins.  She didn't seem conflicted to me.


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## glamazon386 (Feb 1, 2008)

chellero said:


> I know people who do this.  *One says that it's a sin just like any other sin, and everyone sins.*  She didn't seem conflicted to me.



That's the rationale I've heard for it as well.


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## poookie (Feb 1, 2008)

chellero said:


> ... *it's a sin just like any other sin, and everyone sins.*  She didn't seem conflicted to me.



that's how i feel about it.  and i'm not conflicted.

:: prepares for someone to tell her that she IS, indeed, conflicted ::


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## PaperClip (Feb 1, 2008)

chellero said:


> I know people who do this. One says that it's a sin just like any other sin, and everyone sins. She didn't seem conflicted to me.


 
That's such a cop-out logic....Not you sharing it, but folk who use that to justify their actions. 

The Lord doesn't judge on a CURVE....


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## janiebaby (Feb 1, 2008)

chellero said:


> I know people who do this. One says that it's a sin just like any other sin, and everyone sins. She didn't seem conflicted to me.


 

I do think this is a cop out and I would still believe it was a cop out if it was applied to lying, cheating, stealing, disobedience, etc.


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## chicacanella (Aug 1, 2008)

Okay, I am actually having that problem right now.  Being that I just got our of a relationship and will be entering another one, that is my main issue. And yes, I do feel conflicted many, many times. It is torture, especially after having "tasted" paradise, then to snatch it back.erplexed  It's hard.


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## HeChangedMyName (Aug 1, 2008)

Yes, I know some Christians who have been in a shacking up, sleeping together, and going to church together situations.  I personally have been in the position of having a man and sleeping with him while I was also trying to live righteously.  It wasn't working.  I felt terribly guilty and convicted everytime I finished the deed.  I would just beat myself up about it.  I personally discovered that I have sex issues---not saying I'm an addict or anything, but that I associate sex with closeness and love, and yada yada.  So in an effort to "prove" my love, I was having sex, in spite of the fact that my guy knew I was really trying to change my life for the better and live for God.  I think this is where being unevenly yoked can come into play.  If one person is sincerely trying to stop having sex because they recognize it as a sin, but the other person is trying to make justification as to why it is not a sin, then you have two people unevenly yoked, and the one is bound to drag the other down.


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## crlsweetie912 (Aug 1, 2008)

janiebaby said:


> Now to talk about myself. I have had sex before regularly I was a "real" Christian. *Real in the sense that I actually started to build a relationship with God and stopped playing Church. *
> 
> I have had sex while I was a "real" Christian and I felt so empty and remorseful that it made me seek God even more fervently because of our relationship. I didn't even get anything from the sex act, that's how horrible it was. The whole time I kept justifying it and I realized later that I was angry at God for a lot of things. I'm not gonna get too deep here but we talked about it and we're working on my anger issues.
> 
> I'm not gonna sit here and play the struggle card because life is a struggle and I'm not gonna sit here and act like it's ok for Christians to have sex either. I think that if you don't repent and feel remorse for your actions and you try to justify them then you need to re-evaluate your relationship with God. I know that when I justified stuff I was not a "real" Christian and I knew it then and would tell you.


 


Jenaee said:


> That was me. I aint gotta lie to kick it. I would do the deed Saturday night and be in church Sunday morning. While I felt remorse for what I was doing, I didn't wanna stop. I was supposedly "in love" and that's what people in love do right?!? WRONG
> 
> It took the destruction of that relationship (and several prior bad relationships) for me to realize that pre-martial sex is not HIS plan for me. That break-up broke me down to the core but also made me take a look at my life. I began to realize that my sexual sin was blocking what GOD had in store for me. *Not anyone else, it was me blocking me. *
> 
> With much repentance and prayer, I am now abstinent. I won't say it's not a struggle at times, but I will not allow lust to control me again!!!


 
COSIGNING!
The last time was almost five years ago and I wanted to drop down on my knees right there and ask for forgiveness.  He thought I was crazy.  That relationship soon went down the tubes, but I thank GOD for giving me the strenght to change.  And the thirst for HIM to learn why what I was doing was so wrong.  But being that I have been there, I hold myself accountable for how I look at others, I can't judge, just pray for their strenght and growth.



locabouthair said:


> My male best friend goes to church EVERY sunday and is very active in his church but has no problem fornicating.  I asked him about it and he said,"loca, I know I'm going to hell"
> 
> He did say if he met a girl who wanted to wait till marriage, he would wait.


 


chicacanella said:


> Okay, I am actually having that problem right now. Being that I just got our of a relationship and will be entering another one, that is my main issue. And yes, I do feel conflicted many, many times. It is torture, especially after having "tasted" paradise, then to snatch it back.erplexed It's hard.


 
It was really hard for me in the beginning, but I feel so much better about myself and my relationship with Christ, that I KNOW that I deserve a LOT better than that.  This is an excellent thread GG.


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## chicacanella (Aug 1, 2008)

SuperNova said:


> Yes, I know some Christians who have been in a shacking up, sleeping together, and going to church together situations. I personally have been in the position of having a man and sleeping with him while I was also trying to live righteously. It wasn't working. I felt terribly guilty and convicted everytime I finished the deed. I would just beat myself up about it. I personally discovered that I have sex issues---not saying I'm an addict or anything, but that I associate sex with closeness and love, and yada yada. So in an effort to "prove" my love, I was having sex, in spite of the fact that my guy knew I was really trying to change my life for the better and live for God. I think this is where being unevenly yoked can come into play. If one person is sincerely trying to stop having sex because they recognize it as a sin, but the other person is trying to make justification as to why it is not a sin, then you have two people unevenly yoked, and the one is bound to drag the other down.


 

I thought they said don't be unevenly yoked with unbelievers, that meaning he is not a Christian. but what if he is?

So, my question is how did you stop fornicating? People always say, "don't be alone, don't do this," blah, blah, blah. But really, how can you not be alone together. you are watching a movie over his house, you are alone. you cook dinner for him, you are alone. I don't get that stuff. Anytime, you go over his house or he comes over your home-you two will be alone.

So what did you do?


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## jturner7156 (Aug 1, 2008)

chicacanella said:


> I thought they said don't be unevenly yoked with unbelievers, that meaning he is not a Christian. but what if he is?
> 
> So, my question is how did you stop fornicating? People always say, "don't be alone, don't do this," blah, blah, blah. But really, how can you not be alone together. you are watching a movie over his house, you are alone. you cook dinner for him, you are alone. I don't get that stuff. Anytime, you go over his house or he comes over your home-you two will be alone.
> 
> So what did you do?


 
I would say go out in public or have double dates when you are in the home especially if you are not strong enough.


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## Ms.Honey (Aug 1, 2008)

chicacanella said:


> I thought they said don't be unevenly yoked with unbelievers, that meaning he is not a Christian. but what if he is?
> 
> So, my question is how did you stop fornicating? People always say, "don't be alone, don't do this," blah, blah, blah. But really, how can you not be alone together. you are watching a movie over his house, you are alone. you cook dinner for him, you are alone. I don't get that stuff. Anytime, you go over his house or he comes over your home-you two will be alone.
> 
> So what did you do?


 
An unbeliever is anyone who does not accept the Word of God as absolute truth. It's not just sinners but backsliding Christians too. That's why it doesn't just say sinners. 

The single women I know who fellowship do group activities and don't do the solo thing with men.


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## metamorfhosis (Aug 1, 2008)

This link might be helpful to you:

http://www.beliefnet.com/boards/message_list.asp?pageID=1&discussionID=541416&messages_per_page=4


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## divya (Aug 2, 2008)

Pre-marital sex is a sin.  There is no way of getting around that.  That is something that I had to realize and have struggled with. It is, as Chellero mentioned, a sin like any other sin - meaning that there is no justification for it. 

It is hypocritical if the person is constantly criticizing others for their sinful lifestyle, while living their own. It is one thing to call sin what it is, but another to come down on and look down about others when you also are not living right.  Honestly, I do not believe that there is a day in any Christian's life that we should look down upon others for their sin - because "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  Even as sincere Christians, we struggle with sins, and sometimes we sin without recognizing what we have done. So we ought to pray for and encourage others in the right path.


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## apemay1969 (Aug 2, 2008)

Honestly, my husband and I got married because we didn't want to have sex out of marriage.  We were both single parents, we had been dating other people and we made a decision to get married and build a relationship.  

We were blessed in that we were compatible sexually, spiritually and emotionally but if I had to do it over.  I would have waited to marry.


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## Ramya (Aug 2, 2008)

I know quite a few. Yes, sex is a sin like any other sin but it's one thing to sin on accident and another to sin on purpose. Sex does not "just happen". It can be avoided just like murder, stealing ect . I've heard all the reasons why one would "end up" having sex, especially if one is "in a relationship" but I don't buy any of it. I certainly had sex issues and to some I still do . I was addicted to sex plain and simple. Not so addicted that I was sleeping with any and everybody but addicted to the point where I was having sex 25 days out of the month.  I had to first realize why pre-marital sex is wrong and then acknowledge that God knows better than I do. My flesh does NOT have the power to rule me. Boo and I spend time alone ONLY in public. We have never been alone at home. It takes strength, determination and a lot of prayer but it can be done. Christians have sex before marriage b/c they want to, plain and simple.


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## ChelzBoo (Aug 2, 2008)

i personally was that person a couple months ago during my last relationship. i knew what i was doin was wrong, i just wasnt ready to give it up. i dont judge anybody's walk based upon the sins they commit considering we all sin in one form or another. sex is a sin just like lying. i try not to judge because at the end of the day we are all human and we're destined to **** up. 

however,  i prayed many times for god to help me in that area of my life and he showed me that sex without marriage is VERY EMPTY! it feels good for a time period but then its over and ur left with nothing. so ive been celibate for about 4 months and counting now because i understand the spiritual damage sex does to a person.

 but i dont knock anybodys life or choices cus i was once there myself.


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## ChelzBoo (Aug 2, 2008)

amerikan said:


> I know quite a few. Yes, sex is a sin like any other sin but it's one thing to sin on accident and another to sin on purpose. Sex does not "just happen". It can be avoided just like murder, stealing ect . I've heard all the reasons why one would "end up" having sex, especially if one is "in a relationship" but I don't buy any of it. I certainly had sex issues and to some I still do . I was addicted to sex plain and simple. Not so addicted that I was sleeping with any and everybody but addicted to the point where I was having sex 25 days out of the month.  I had to first realize why pre-marital sex is wrong and then acknowledge that God knows better than I do.* My flesh does NOT have the power to rule me. Boo and I spend time alone ONLY in public. We have never been alone at home. It takes strength, determination and a lot of prayer but it can be done. Christians have sex before marriage b/c they want to, plain and simple.*


 
so very true. it is hard to not give into sumthen that u want to do but the lord will give us all the strength we need. my next boo is gone know off jump that aint nothen poppin off unless i got a ring on my finger...plain and simple.  but i do feel alot free'er and more peaceful that ive eliminated that out of my life until the time is right


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## Inches411 (Aug 2, 2008)

working on getting my self out the same situation.. im not afraid to say it here cause none of you guys know me. I was good for three years straight and the devil saw that and came botherhing me again and i fell. At the time the devil  came  was good planning on his part i must say cause i was having trouble with my relationship with god. I felt empty and i was sad about life. So the devil i guess thought what a perfect opportunity to bring someone to "fulfill" me. I did fall but i can honesstly say im getting myself out of this situation. I like having a person around its a nice but actually sex itself doesnt do anything for me at all so its like why am i having sex if i dont like it. Im sinning and not getting anything out of it.. which is actually a good thing. I thank god for that cause  if it was the opposite i would get my self in big trouble. I wont judge anyone at all cause alot of ppl may say its not that hard.. but i want to ask those have u ever been there cause its not easy.. not making any excuses is wrong for sure but we all have our weak points.. all i gotta say is dont stay there.. make an effort to do right and keep pressing on. God will see your desire to change and help you as long as you help your self.


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## Ms.Honey (Aug 2, 2008)

I would admonish those of us who are struggling with sexual sins to guard your heart with all dilligence. Be careful of what you expose yourself to. That means if you're single don't listen to love songs and watch intimate scenes in movies and on tv. If you're trying to abstain, listening to and watching stuff that you COULD be doing is not going to help the situation at all. Also avoid fellowship with folks who are willfully fornicating. You need to be around strong saints, iron sharpens iron. Those are temptations that can be easily avoided.

Folks say that the fastest way to get from point A to point B is a straight line. Well the fastest way to get to get from your point A, your sin life, to your point B to God's will for your lives, where you want to be is the straight truth of God's Word. Our wills are the strongest thing on earth. The only thing that breaks it is the Word of God applied to our situations. If you want to stop sinning, apply what God says about it to your life by repeating/speaking the Word of God over it until you've conquered your flesh. Find and memorize every scripture that speaks against fornication/sexual sins and say it until it becomes a part of you. It's the quickest,easiest most efficient way to get out of our messes. Saying "I'm just not going to do so and so anymore" is not gonna cut it. You'll be prone to backslide. It's the Word of God, not ours, that's powerful and pulls down these sexual strongholds. Repeat the Word over your areas of weakness.

The devil becomes more subtle the stronger you become. Because he knows he can't pull just any old crap with you, he'll come at you with a "Christian" mate because he knows you'll know he's setting you up if he throws a sinner your way. Don't become so comfortable with someone that you let your guard down little by little and find yourself in a sinful relationship with him. 

Be especially cautious when you find yourself becoming stronger in the Lord and have successfully become abstinate. That's when the test comes.


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## PaperClip (Aug 2, 2008)

Ms.Honey said:


> I would admonish those of us who are struggling with sexual sins to guard your heart with all dilligence. Be careful of what you expose yourself to. That means if you're single don't listen to love songs and watch intimate scenes in movies and on tv. If you're trying to abstain, listening to and watching stuff that you COULD be doing is not going to help the situation at all. Also avoid fellowship with folks who are willfully fornicating. You need to be around strong saints, iron sharpens iron. Those are temptations that can be easily avoided.
> 
> Folks say that the fastest way to get from point A to point B is a straight line. Well the fastest way to get to get from your point A, your sin life, to your point B to God's will for your lives, where you want to be is the straight truth of God's Word. Our wills are the strongest thing on earth. The only thing that breaks it is the Word of God applied to our situations. If you want to stop sinning, apply what God says about it to your life by repeating/speaking the Word of God over it until you've conquered your flesh. Find and memorize every scripture that speaks against fornication/sexual sins and say it until it becomes a part of you. It's the quickest,easiest most efficient way to get out of our messes. Saying "I'm just not going to do so and so anymore" is not gonna cut it. You'll be prone to backslide. It's the Word of God, not ours, that's powerful and pulls down these sexual strongholds. Repeat the Word over your areas of weakness.
> 
> ...


 
Good word... good word.... truth.... 'cause I'm living it.... virgins struggle, too.

ETA: I knowingly speculate that the struggle on the virginal side is (slightly) easier....


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## firecracker (Aug 2, 2008)

janiebaby said:


> Now to talk about myself. I have had sex before regularly I was a "real" Christian. Real in the sense that I actually started to build a relationship with God and stopped playing Church.
> 
> I have had sex while I was a "real" Christian and I felt so empty and remorseful that it made me seek God even more fervently because of our relationship. I didn't even get anything from the sex act, that's how horrible it was. The whole time I kept justifying it and I realized later that I was angry at God for a lot of things. I'm not gonna get too deep here but we talked about it and we're working on my anger issues.
> 
> I'm not gonna sit here and play the struggle card because life is a struggle and I'm not gonna sit here and act like it's ok for Christians to have sex either. I think that if you don't repent and feel remorse for your actions and you try to justify them then you need to re-evaluate your relationship with God. I know that when I justified stuff I was not a "real" Christian and I knew it then and would tell you.


 
  I can understand.


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## Highly Favored8 (Aug 2, 2008)

Ms.Honey said:


> I *would admonish those of us who are struggling with sexual sins to guard your heart with all dilligence. Be careful of what you expose yourself to. That means if you're single don't listen to love songs and watch intimate scenes in movies and on tv. If you're trying to abstain, listening to and watching stuff that you COULD be doing is not going to help the situation at all. *Also avoid fellowship with folks who are willfully fornicating. You need to be around strong saints, iron sharpens iron. Those are temptations that can be easily avoided.
> 
> Folks say that the fastest way to get from point A to point B is a straight line. Well the fastest way to get to get from your point A, your sin life, to your point B to God's will for your lives, where you want to be is the straight truth of God's Word. Our wills are the strongest thing on earth. The only thing that breaks it is the Word of God applied to our situations. If you want to stop sinning, apply what God says about it to your life by repeating/speaking the Word of God over it until you've conquered your flesh. Find and memorize every scripture that speaks against fornication/sexual sins and say it until it becomes a part of you. It's the quickest,easiest most efficient way to get out of our messes. Saying "I'm just not going to do so and so anymore" is not gonna cut it. You'll be prone to backslide. It's the Word of God, not ours, that's powerful and pulls down these sexual strongholds. Repeat the Word over your areas of weakness.
> 
> ...


 

Yes, this is true and I enjoy when I read your post Ms.Honey a lot of wisdom behind what you say. I feel that when a single woman has a heart truly for the Lord and have the word of the Lord in her heart God will place everything in the right place and the right time. If I am single and claiming my F.H. in the Name of Jesus and I must trust the Lord for him. When a "flake" comes on my path then I will have discerned his intentions towards me and move on. I just have a heart for the Lord at this point and  I am celibate and very happy. My X/FH was not happy about this change! He had to bounce! I placed him the feet of the Lord. If the Lord's will is bring him back in my life right then I will discern this. If he comes back like a flake. Then I let him go!


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## HeChangedMyName (Aug 2, 2008)

Inches411 said:


> working on getting my self out the same situation.. im not afraid to say it here cause none of you guys know me. I was good for three years straight and *the devil saw that and came botherhing me again and i fell. At the time the devil came was good planning on his part i must say cause i was having trouble with my relationship with god.* I felt empty and i was sad about life. *So the devil i guess thought what a perfect opportunity to bring someone to "fulfill" me.* I did fall but i can honesstly say im getting myself out of this situation. I like having a person around its a nice but actually sex itself doesnt do anything for me at all so its like why am i having sex if i dont like it. Im sinning and not getting anything out of it.. which is actually a good thing. I thank god for that cause if it was the opposite i would get my self in big trouble. I wont judge anyone at all cause alot of ppl may say its not that hard.. but i want to ask those have u ever been there cause its not easy.. not making any excuses is wrong for sure but we all have our weak points.. all i gotta say is dont stay there.. make an effort to do right and keep pressing on. God will see your desire to change and help you as long as you help your self.


 
That is how the devil does.  Afterall, he is the ruler over the fleshly things, so he knows what to do to get at your flesh---Your Adam.  He knows exactly what we all struggle with and that is what he goes after



Ms.Honey said:


> I would admonish those of us who are struggling with sexual sins to guard your heart with all dilligence. *Be careful of what you expose yourself to*. That means if you're single don't listen to love songs and watch intimate scenes in movies and on tv. If you're trying to abstain, listening to and watching stuff that you COULD be doing is not going to help the situation at all. *Also avoid fellowship with folks who are willfully fornicating.* You need to be around strong saints, iron sharpens iron. Those are temptations that can be easily avoided.
> 
> Folks say that the fastest way to get from point A to point B is a straight line. Well the fastest way to get to get from your point A, your sin life, to your point B to God's will for your lives, where you want to be is the straight truth of God's Word. Our wills are the strongest thing on earth. The only thing that breaks it is the Word of God applied to our situations. *If you want to stop sinning, apply what God says about it to your life by repeating/speaking the Word of God over it until you've conquered your flesh.* Find and memorize every scripture that speaks against fornication/sexual sins and say it until it becomes a part of you. It's the quickest,easiest most efficient way to get out of our messes. Saying "I'm just not going to do so and so anymore" is not gonna cut it. You'll be prone to backslide. It's the Word of God, not ours, that's powerful and pulls down these sexual strongholds. Repeat the Word over your areas of weakness.
> 
> ...


 

Praise God for your wisdom.  SMH SMH.  Wow.  Everything you said here is on point.  First of all, when I was struggling with it, I noticed that there were songs that would bring back memories or movies or whatever and that is when my flesh began to get the best of me.  The devil will give you want you think you want, when you are not wanting what the will of God says is best for you.  He will make you feel fulfilled and satisfied.  I find that if I get too comfortable, that there is actually something wrong.  Being a Christian is not always a confortable life to live.  Let's not talk about those who willfully fornicate.  I was one--to an extent.  But dated a guy once--literally, we went out once, and he tried to justify with scripture why we could have sex without reprocutions.  I am working on speaking the word into my own life in all areas--this one included and it is amazing how when you start talking Gods words over yourself how things will turn around for his good and not for your own personal gain.  I agree at the subtlty of the devil.  Once you get hip to his games, he has to become more clever to fool you.  Sending a good Christian into yourlife can be a wonderful thing, but like you said, that can also be a trick---been there, done that.  Good Christian upstanding men struggle too and when their struggle is also your struggle, then it may be best not to be together alone at all---not even in the car(seriously).


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## metamorfhosis (Aug 2, 2008)

Sisters:

I just want to encourage you. I have been celibate for 11 years. Well.....eh......yes......... It hasn't been easy. However, as the years go by; it actually gets easier. Sure, there have been times when I had urges. Sure I have had thoughts. I am alive afterall. 

It's been so long that I can't really remember what sex felt like. Perhaps this is for a reason.

It didn't take me too long to get hipped to the dating game. You know the guy is so great and makes you think you are his girlfriend--until you give it up and then he forgets your phone number or tells you to let's have an "open" relationship. 

I am going to take a vow of celibacy until I can be with my husband (sent from heaven). 

If I can do it; YOU CAN TOO!


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## MD_Lady (Aug 2, 2008)

Glib Gurl said:


> *Does anyone have a friend or relative that is a Christian* (and not just the "I go to church every once in a while/Christmas/Mother's Day/Easter" folk, but the up in church every week, can quote scripture and verse, gives their tithe type of Christian) *who regularly has sex?* (Or perhaps you are that person . . . .)


Yup.



Glib Gurl said:


> How does that person feel about it? Are they conflicted? Or do they rationalize it? If so, how?


They always talk about wanting to be a "better person" (which leads me to believe they aren't happy with their choices), but continue to be promiscuous. Their rationalization is that the "flesh is weak".



Glib Gurl said:


> How do you feel about this person and their faith -- do you think they're hypocrites?


People are imperfect and there's nothing wrong with that. But, IMO, if people are deeply committed to living their lives according to the Bible (i.e. wanting their relationship to be a certain way because of the Word, wanting to be a certain type of man or woman because of the Word, or wanting to raise their children a certain way because of the Word) they should be that way all the time (even when it's difficult or inconvenient). I don't judge this person, but I do think there is some hypocrisy in the choices they have made.


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## Ramya (Aug 2, 2008)

SuperNova said:


> That is how the devil does. Afterall, he is the ruler over the fleshly things, so he knows what to do to get at your flesh---Your Adam. He knows exactly what we all struggle with and that is what he goes after
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
This has been my experience as well. It's by no means easy but boo and I hold each other accountable--the things I wear or say, the things he says the way he looks at me/touches me--everything matters when trying to be in a Godly relationship . I also think courtship is more in tune with Christians romantic needs rather than mainstream dating. Boo and I take separate cars and I've never EVER been with him alone. Oh we've been tempted to "sneak" and meet alone but it's really not worth it b/c we both know that we are setting the other up for failure. We will surely fall if we are alone. It's a selfish desire and we are NOT to be stumbling blocks for our brothers and sisters.


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## Evolving78 (Aug 3, 2008)

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## Evolving78 (Aug 3, 2008)

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## Evolving78 (Aug 3, 2008)

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## Evolving78 (Aug 3, 2008)

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## Evolving78 (Aug 3, 2008)

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## divya (Aug 3, 2008)

shortdub78 said:


> ita and people need to realize right is right and wrong is wrong and you can't justify wrong.



Exactly. It amazes me the excuses that some of us as Christians will make for the blatant sins we commit. Oh people will easily say that robbing someone or beating someone is a sin...but will give a million reasons why fornication or homosexuality should be alright.  The Bible is clear. But often when our feelings are so caught up in something or someone, we allow are minds to be clouded. In order for us to live right, we need to accept sin as sin.


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## chicacanella (Aug 4, 2008)

SuperNova said:


> That is how the devil does. Afterall, he is the ruler over the fleshly things, so he knows what to do to get at your flesh---Your Adam. He knows exactly what we all struggle with and that is what he goes after
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## chicacanella (Aug 4, 2008)

shortdub78 said:


> a lot of people feel that way and that is sad. why choose death?


 
Please, I don't even want to go to hell. I can't imagine or maybe I can imagine being seperated from God, the source of life forever. I don't want that but even moreso, I don't like the feeling I feel when I deliberately disappoint God. He's done so much for me but at this point in my life, I feel like how many years will I have to wait for my husband? And what if it is a good man but the only disagreement may be the celibacy part?


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## chicacanella (Aug 4, 2008)

divya said:


> Exactly. It amazes me the excuses that some of us as Christians will make for the blatant sins we commit. Oh people will easily say that robbing someone or beating someone is a sin...but will give a million reasons why fornication or homosexuality should be alright. The Bible is clear. But often when our feelings are so caught up in something or someone, we allow are minds to be clouded. In order for us to live right, we need to accept sin as sin.


 

Yeah, I def. know what the bible says is a sin is a sin. I can't even make up any clever lies for any of them but the consequences show us that they are sins though.


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## ebaby (Aug 4, 2008)

In my area there are many preachers/Pastors who live like this.  People flock to their church because they would dare not touch that topic in their sermons.  Many also are married yet sleeping around with several church members.  It is going to be a whole lot of "Church Folk" in hell!


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## cocoberry10 (Aug 4, 2008)

*Glib, are you specifically speaking about those who are not married? I need this clarification before I can answer!*


Glib Gurl said:


> Does anyone have a friend or relative that is a Christian (and not just the "I go to church every once in a while/Christmas/Mother's Day/Easter" folk, but the up in church every week, can quote scripture and verse, gives their tithe type of Christian) who regularly has sex? (Or perhaps you are that person . . . .) How does that person feel about it? Are they conflicted? Or do they rationalize it? If so, how? How do you feel about this person and their faith -- do you think they're hypocrites?
> 
> Please ladies, let's not judge. Rather let's help each other be the people God wants us to be . . . .
> 
> ...


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## Ivonnovi (Aug 4, 2008)

I am one who did and like many others I enjoyed it.  It wasn't untill I recongized that this joy was made from a painful past that I changed.  NOW, I have to admit that I enjoy clubbing, ....I'm the one you'll see along the wall observing others. I could with good conscious "hang" at the club all night....go home alone....and be the 3rd person in church Sunday morning.    

I have a male friend that use to constantly get on me about going to the club (house of Ill repute).  I finally shut him down when I explained that I had not spent all night fornicating with someone like he and his girlfriend did regularly then be the 1st & 2nd person on the pews. 

I had to tell him to let God be the Judge!  In either case God judges the heart, not the deed; never forget that.


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## chicacanella (Aug 5, 2008)

yorlooksmybiz said:


> I am one who did and like many others I enjoyed it. It wasn't untill I recongized that this joy was made from a painful past that I changed. NOW, I have to admit that I enjoy clubbing, ....I'm the one you'll see along the wall observing others. I could with good conscious "hang" at the club all night....go home alone....and be the 3rd person in church Sunday morning.
> 
> I have a male friend that use to constantly get on me about going to the club (house of Ill repute). I finally shut him down when I explained that I had not spent all night fornicating with someone like he and his girlfriend did regularly then be the 1st & 2nd person on the pews.
> 
> I had to tell him to let God be the Judge! In either case God judges the heart, not the deed; never forget that.


 
My friend and I were talking about this, about the difference between lounges and clubs. She doesn't really think lounges are all that good or rather she wanted to know my intention for going to a lounge. she knows I don't go to clubs and haven't been since about a year and a half ago.  The whole atmosphere is so immature and too extra for me. I don't want to see girls grinding on girls/guys, shaking their butt, people throwing up, etc.

Now a lounge is just a more sophisticated atmosphere cause' it's basitcally a place where you can go and see, be seen, network, converse with you friends, listen to some nice music, maybe sip a drink or two, enjoy the scenery. Those are my reasons for going to a nice, upscale lounge.  Plus, it is a less sexually charged atmosphere even though I know people can sit up and have a nice conversation with a dude and still go home with him just like they can dance with a guy and go home with him too. but I think a lounge is less likely to have that hppen.


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## HeChangedMyName (Aug 5, 2008)

I thought I was the only one who didn't see a problem with going to a club/lounge.  I have never gone to a club for anything other than to hang out, and have fun.  Now back in the day I was tipsy and grinding, but the last few times I went, I enjoyed the friends I went out with and observed.  bobbed my head but that is about it.


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## Ramya (Aug 5, 2008)

chicacanella said:


> My friend and I were talking about this, about the difference between lounges and clubs. She doesn't really think lounges are all that good or rather she wanted to know my intention for going to a lounge. she knows I don't go to clubs and haven't been since about a year and a half ago. The whole atmosphere is so immature and too extra for me. I don't want to see girls grinding on girls/guys, shaking their butt, people throwing up, etc.
> 
> Now a lounge is just a more sophisticated atmosphere cause' it's basitcally a place where you can go and see, be seen, network, converse with you friends, listen to some nice music, maybe sip a drink or two, enjoy the scenery. Those are my reasons for going to a nice, upscale lounge. Plus, it is a less sexually charged atmosphere even though I know people can sit up and have a nice conversation with a dude and still go home with him just like they can dance with a guy and go home with him too. but I think a lounge is less likely to have that hppen.


 
If I do go out I go to lounges. God willing my church will be opening a Christian lounge next year. There will be no alcohol and the music will be clean but it will still be a nice place for Christians to mingle and relax. I'm sooo excited


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## HeChangedMyName (Aug 5, 2008)

amerikan said:


> If I do go out I go to lounges. God willing my church will be opening a Christian lounge next year. There will be no alcohol and the music will be clean but it will still be a nice place for Christians to mingle and relax. I'm sooo excited


 

A Christian lounge would be lovely.


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## Zuhus (Aug 5, 2008)

Ms.Honey said:


> I would admonish those of us who are struggling with sexual sins to guard your heart with all dilligence. Be careful of what you expose yourself to. That means if you're single don't listen to love songs and watch intimate scenes in movies and on tv. If you're trying to abstain, listening to and watching stuff that you COULD be doing is not going to help the situation at all. Also avoid fellowship with folks who are willfully fornicating. You need to be around strong saints, iron sharpens iron. Those are temptations that can be easily avoided.
> 
> Folks say that the fastest way to get from point A to point B is a straight line. Well the fastest way to get to get from your point A, your sin life, to your point B to God's will for your lives, where you want to be is the straight truth of God's Word. Our wills are the strongest thing on earth. The only thing that breaks it is the Word of God applied to our situations. If you want to stop sinning, apply what God says about it to your life by repeating/speaking the Word of God over it until you've conquered your flesh. Find and memorize every scripture that speaks against fornication/sexual sins and say it until it becomes a part of you. It's the quickest,easiest most efficient way to get out of our messes. Saying "I'm just not going to do so and so anymore" is not gonna cut it. You'll be prone to backslide. It's the Word of God, not ours, that's powerful and pulls down these sexual strongholds. Repeat the Word over your areas of weakness.
> 
> ...


 

Thank you!


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## chicacanella (Aug 5, 2008)

amerikan said:


> If I do go out I go to lounges. God willing my church will be opening a Christian lounge next year. There will be no alcohol and the music will be clean but it will still be a nice place for Christians to mingle and relax. I'm sooo excited


 

That pastor Craig G. Lewis acts like people shouldn't even do that. I don't know about him, he seems to extreme.  Some of the things he says is right but I don't agree with everything he says.


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## Ramya (Aug 5, 2008)

chicacanella said:


> That pastor Craig G. Lewis acts like people shouldn't even do that. I don't know about him, he seems to extreme. Some of the things he says is right but I don't agree with everything he says.


 
That's crazy! Christians have social needs too. I think that's the problem with a lot of people, they think all fun must end when one becomes a Christian. I'm sorry but I don't believe that God expects us to not fellowship with others outside of church. We believe (at my church) that the church should supply all of our needs including entertainment therefore we as Christians will not have to look to the world for entertainment and constantly worry about what is going in our ear and eye gates because we have our own.


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## tmichelle (Aug 5, 2008)

I am surprised by the amount of people who don't see a conflict with following Christ and fornicating.  I TOTALLY understand the temptation and falling to the temptation but to write it off as okay is incongruent with scriptures.  

I always get confused like when someone in the relationship forum was talking about living with their S.O. and then when they get married they want him to be the head of the household, God willing.  Or there was one who proclaimed Christ but then in a poll about could you be with a man who didn't want to have premarital sex, she said no she couldn't.


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## Miosy (Aug 5, 2008)

Glib Gurl said:


> Does anyone have a friend or relative that is a Christian (and not just the "I go to church every once in a while/Christmas/Mother's Day/Easter" folk, but the up in church every week, can quote scripture and verse, gives their tithe type of Christian) who regularly has sex? (Or perhaps you are that person . . . .) How does that person feel about it? Are they conflicted? Or do they rationalize it? If so, how? How do you feel about this person and their faith -- do you think they're hypocrites?
> 
> Please ladies, let's not judge. Rather let's help each other be the people God wants us to be . . . .
> 
> ...


 
I know this is an older thread but I wanted to say that my good friend is a practicing Christian who loves the Lord but I have to say she made poor choices (just cause we are Christian doesn't mean we will always make the best decision) and she is divorcing her husband because they just don't get along so now she is dating and not divorced yet and having sex with the guy   I was shock and surprise but I guess we all stumble and become decieved by the angel of light.  as of now she is not convicted but she is depressed as heck   So something in her spirit is telling her she not right.

All I do is pray for her.  I never corrected her but I told her that she needs to spend time alone with the Lord and working on her relationship with him but her "sex-friend" is only hindering her. 

 I don't think she's a hyprocrite, I just think she's decieve and confused.  It's easy to get trapped into lies.


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## He_Leads_I_follow (Aug 5, 2008)

God will deal with His people. Just like he did with me when I played the game. It's been 8 years since. If you ever feel spurned to challenge (with gentleness and respect) someone you know who is making this choice  then you be sure to do it! Open rebuke is better than secret love. That will save their life. The one thing we must rememeber about God, He is patient BUT He will allow for consequences to our choices. I know Him. He is "tapping" their shoulders (convicting). He's warning them. He's giving them a way of escape before something irrepairable and humiliating happens.  

He desires to spare us the pain. Just as parents do with their children. They warn them but essentially it is the child that has to make the decision to heed. Anyone naming the name of Christ and at the same time making an excuse for having murderous urges would not be tolerated in the church but fornication in the pulpit and the pews is ignored. 

Yes! God will deal with His people.


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## Miosy (Aug 5, 2008)

He_Leads_I_follow said:


> . If you ever feel spurned to challenge (with gentleness and respect) someone you know who is making this choice then you be sure to do it! Open rebuke is better than secret love. That will save their life.


 
You know, you are so right.  I'm afraid for her to be honest that the consequence will be greater

I had a friend that continued seeing her secret lover after she got a divorce and I openly rebuked her and told her "U have to stop seeing this guy, he's not ur man and belongs to someone else"

She openly rebuke me back and said "He's not married to her so I am going to continue seeing him and how do u know ur hearing from God"
She continue seeing him, had 2 kids from him and married the guy-he ended up robbing a bank and is in prision now for 25+ years so now she is struggling alone with the kids and lonely cause she is married to the guy.

U are right when u say that God will allow the consequences for our choices to follow


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## He_Leads_I_follow (Aug 5, 2008)

Ms.Honey said:


> I would admonish those of us who are struggling with sexual sins to guard your heart with all dilligence. Be careful of what you expose yourself to. That means if you're single don't listen to love songs and watch intimate scenes in movies and on tv. If you're trying to abstain, listening to and watching stuff that you COULD be doing is not going to help the situation at all. Also avoid fellowship with folks who are willfully fornicating. You need to be around strong saints, iron sharpens iron. Those are temptations that can be easily avoided.
> 
> Folks say that the fastest way to get from point A to point B is a straight line. Well the fastest way to get to get from your point A, your sin life, to your point B to God's will for your lives, where you want to be is the straight truth of God's Word. Our wills are the strongest thing on earth. The only thing that breaks it is the Word of God applied to our situations. If you want to stop sinning, apply what God says about it to your life by repeating/speaking the Word of God over it until you've conquered your flesh. Find and memorize every scripture that speaks against fornication/sexual sins and say it until it becomes a part of you. It's the quickest,easiest most efficient way to get out of our messes. Saying "I'm just not going to do so and so anymore" is not gonna cut it. You'll be prone to backslide. It's the Word of God, not ours, that's powerful and pulls down these sexual strongholds. Repeat the Word over your areas of weakness.
> 
> ...




This is EXACTLY what happened to me!! It was a trusted brother from my prayer group. We would have NEVER looked at each other that way but one day he just started to "notice" me and I "responded". Soon we would hang out at my house (DUMB!) "watching tv" (more like watching each other) . The first few times we would hug and eventually we ended up kissing. I haven't felt the same since. This has gone on for 2 years. We both would feel convicted for our behaviour so we would stay away from each other for a while and then we would see each other and be right back in the same place. 

No we never had sex but to me the soul tie created from all the kissing and hugging did just as much damage to both of us. It wasn't often but it was enough. 

I would have never thought I would do this . Not that I beleive I am above sinning. But if it were a stranger , he would have NEVER been allowed in my home and I would have NEVER made dinner for him or anything else I did for my friend. Playing house is a set-up! 

I still beleive to this day that the whole thing was a trick from the enemy or a test from the Lord. I do not beleive we are meant to be anything more than friends.


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## tmichelle (Aug 5, 2008)

He_Leads_I_follow said:


> [/b]
> 
> This is EXACTLY what happened to me!! It was a trusted brother from my prayer group. We would have NEVER looked at each other that way but one day he just started to "notice" me and I "responded". Soon we would hang out at my house (DUMB!) "watching tv" (more like watching each other) . The first few times we would hug and eventually we ended up kissing. I haven't felt the same since. This has gone on for 2 years. We both would feel convicted for our behaviour so we would stay away from each other for a while and then we would see each other and be right back in the same place.
> 
> ...


 
Regarding the bolded, you are sooo right!  It sounds like you have gained a lot of wisdom.  I hope we all learn these lessons.  We TOTALLY buy into what the world says is okay about "dating" which translates into a reality of spending time alone together in each other's home, eating and talking and becoming intimate (not necessarily sexual).  This is definitely a set-up.  I'm so glad you have seen it for what it is.


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## a_ caribbean_dream (Aug 6, 2008)

Ms.Honey said:


> I would admonish those of us who are struggling with sexual sins to guard your heart with all dilligence. Be careful of what you expose yourself to. That means if you're single don't listen to love songs and watch intimate scenes in movies and on tv. If you're trying to abstain, listening to and watching stuff that you COULD be doing is not going to help the situation at all. Also avoid fellowship with folks who are willfully fornicating. You need to be around strong saints, iron sharpens iron. Those are temptations that can be easily avoided.
> 
> Folks say that the fastest way to get from point A to point B is a straight line. Well the fastest way to get to get from your point A, your sin life, to your point B to God's will for your lives, where you want to be is the straight truth of God's Word. Our wills are the strongest thing on earth. The only thing that breaks it is the Word of God applied to our situations. If you want to stop sinning, apply what God says about it to your life by repeating/speaking the Word of God over it until you've conquered your flesh. Find and memorize every scripture that speaks against fornication/sexual sins and say it until it becomes a part of you. It's the quickest,easiest most efficient way to get out of our messes. Saying "I'm just not going to do so and so anymore" is not gonna cut it. You'll be prone to backslide. It's the Word of God, not ours, that's powerful and pulls down these sexual strongholds. Repeat the Word over your areas of weakness.
> 
> ...




WOW.  I cannot thank you enough Ms.Honey.  I truly believe I was led to read this post.  I recently was on a spiritual high with God spending much time in prayer and devotion, really seeking his face.   Not asking for anything but just more of Him.  I was in needed to reach another level in our relationship. 

I was also successfully remaining abstinate.  I recently reunited with a friend from the past and needless to say my flesh succumbed.  We didn't have intercourse but what we did was well over what was appriopriate.  I still can't believe it.  I cannot believe that I could go from being so high spirtiually to being soo low.  I can barely look at myself in the mirror.  I am struggling to forgive myself and I don't even know what to say to God.

I have taken note of everything you have mentioned and it I especially guarding my heart. ..


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## Ms.Honey (Aug 6, 2008)

carribean_dream said:


> WOW. I cannot thank you enough Ms.Honey. I truly believe I was led to read this post. I recently was on a spiritual high with God spending much time in prayer and devotion, really seeking his face. Not asking for anything but just more of Him. I was in needed to reach another level in our relationship.
> 
> I was also successfully remaining abstinate. I recently reunited with a friend from the past and needless to say my flesh succumbed. We didn't have intercourse but what we did was well over what was appriopriate. I still can't believe it. I cannot believe that I could go from being so high spirtiually to being soo low. I can barely look at myself in the mirror. I am struggling to forgive myself and I don't even know what to say to God.
> 
> I have taken note of everything you have mentioned and it I especially guarding my heart. ..


 
I believe what you are experiencing is the early warning of the Lord. He's chastising you, which is a very good thing. That means you're His and He only chastises His own people. Does it feel like your soul has been set on fire? Does it feel as if you've just found out that you lost your job, your car and your house within the last three minutes If yes, welcome to the family Well now is the time that you must come to terms with some things.


First you need to realize this one thing.............you are human 





Your flesh wants nothing to do with God AT ALL and He wants nothing to do with it either . We worship God with our minds not our flesh so there is hope for us yet.

Secondly, you know what you need to do, do it quickly. Repent. Ask God to forgive you and He will, right then. You also have to learn to forgive yourself when you fall. You are no good to God if you are dwelling in the bottomless pits of despair. Who's gonna want to be led to Christ by you and ask Him to help them when you're too ashamed to ask for His help and you know Him already? I know I wouldn't. If His folks look like they suck lemons all day, some folks would rather take their chances with the devil. At least his folks seem to be enjoying their lives  So girl, pick yourself up and move on from this thing. There is no temptation taken you that is not common to man, meaning, You ain't the first to do what you did and you won't be the last. You have not shocked Jesus by what you've done He's helped saints with the same issue, you haven't invented a new thing You have to forgive you and not put yourself in that position again. Okay?

The third thing you need to do is to find out the way you let your flesh have control of your mind instead of your spirit and destroy that path. When I get out of line I go through my check list to find out where I allowed it in my heart, where I failed to guard my heart with all diligence,  by using everything within me and crucify my flesh with the Word of God. My fault used to be profanity. I cussed like a Marine. Every other word out of my mind was a cuss word. When I find myself cursing in my thoughts, I go through the list and start searching for the culprit. Was it something I saw on tv and didn't rebuke it in my mind? Was it something I heard someone say and didn't rebuke them? Once I find it, I apologize to the Father, take the Word of God that applies to the situation and repeat it over and over again EVERYTIME at the PRECISE TIME I think the profane thought. Is sweet water and bitter water drawn from the same well? No? Then neither should you bless the Lord and curse with the same mouth. That's my own little paraphrase of James 3:9-12 but you get the gist I also warn my flesh. If you keep threatening to cuss folks out then you won't get so and so for a week. Believe me it works Once you deny your flesh or punish it with something good like an extra hour of devotions or a 24hr. food fast, it gets in line real quick

We have to use the Word of God to crucify our flesh and nip that mess in the bud before we end up sinning. While it's true that we all sin,it should never be more than in thought only and that with swift correction. We can't control what pops up in our minds but we can control how we handle our flesh the very instant it happens. I personally do not want to experience the chastisement of the Lord so I handle it with a swiftness

So repent, forgive yourself and keep it moving. Okay? Remember that despite what folks believe, God is not out to jack you up everytime you screw up. He reallly does love and wants the best for you.


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## Jenaee (Aug 6, 2008)

Thank you soooo much Ms. Honey!!!! I'm  over this right now. I have fallen so much this past week. I'm so dissappointed and ashamed of myself. This really helped me. 

Thank you!


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## cupcakes (Aug 15, 2008)

i have done it before.. and regretted it afterwards and 
but i will not do it again until i am a married woman


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## a_ caribbean_dream (Aug 26, 2008)

Ms.Honey said:


> I believe what you are experiencing is the early warning of the Lord. He's chastising you, which is a very good thing. That means you're His and He only chastises His own people. Does it feel like your soul has been set on fire? Does it feel as if you've just found out that you lost your job, your car and your house within the last three minutes If yes, welcome to the family Well now is the time that you must come to terms with some things.
> 
> 
> First you need to realize this one thing.............you are human
> ...





This was a great thread.  I can't thank you enough Ms. Honey!


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## Zeal (Aug 26, 2008)

Wow this is right on time.  I did not have time to read through all of the thread but I will.  I was just able to read the first two pages.  This is an issue that is all too common and it is NOT OK.

Please read my thread, on the Sexual Revolution per Ed Young.  I plan on purchasing the series. I understand. Been there, done that, it's not worth it. It's not worth my spiritual, mental, or physical health. (or anyone else's) Yes I am alone and non believers don't and can't understand.  Even some believers can make some pretty funky comments.... which leads me to wonder.

I am not here to judge.  I am here to understand.  The only thing you can do with a person who is really trying and knows the Lord (and is trying to please him) is come to them in love, with love, and scripture.

Ladies, let's try not to loose ourselves.  Let's try to keep our hormones in check.  But by the grace of God there go I.


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## leeshbeesh (Sep 10, 2008)

this is something i did and i knew better, so i dont really accept that as an excuse. i believe that it is all in how people se a struggle. many use this term as a justification and dont consider exactly what a "STRUGGLE" is. something to fight with, not just succumb to! if you are consistently engaging in something sinful are you REALLY struggling, or just excusing yourself?


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