# Christian Dating Sites...



## LucieLoo12 (Nov 14, 2011)

I have seen these Chrisitan Dating sites grow more and more lately.
I was watching TV and a commercial for came on for one and it said "Help God find the one for you"....um last time i checked God didnt need our help, but anyway...what are yall thoughts on this? agree or disagree?


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## Shimmie (Nov 14, 2011)

Alicialynn86 said:


> I have seen these Chrisitan Dating sites grow more and more lately.
> I was watching TV and a commercial for came on for one and it said "Help God find the one for you"....um last time i checked God didnt need our help, but anyway...what are yall thoughts on this? agree or disagree?



I wouldn't call them a sin, however I would advise any and everyone to be on guard.   Beware of the 'wolves' lurking' for vunerable 'sheep'.


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## TraciChanel (Nov 14, 2011)

I would be very leery of these sites. Ultimately, it is a business, just like the regular dating sites. It's very easy for vulnerable (i.e. lonely) people to be taken advantage of using these 'christian' dating sites. I just don't get a good feeling about them


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## Shimmie (Nov 14, 2011)

TraciChanel said:


> I would be very leery of these sites. Ultimately, it is a business, just like the regular dating sites. It's very easy for vulnerable (i.e. lonely) people to be taken advantage of using these 'christian' dating sites. I just don't get a good feeling about them



Amen, TraciChanel...  I've never trusted these sites.   I  have friends who have signed up for them and it was just a waste of time for them.  They would get all hyped up about someone showing an interest in them only to end up disappointed.  

There was an instance where a man sent a photo of him on his 'boat', he was handsome, etc., however when I saw the picture, I knew it was a phoney photo.  It wasn't him.   Later, he started telling 'her' that he needed money.  He was stranded at an airport and some other crazy details where he needed emergency cash fast.   She said no and that was the end of it.  

Big Clue:  Run when a man asks for money.  I mean if he has the nerve to ask, he'll expect you to be the 'giver' and he'll always be the taker.   And I don't wanna hear nothing about his potentials.    He's not only broke when it comes to money, but he also has a huge deficit in potentials as well.   He either has substance or he doesn't.

I guess this sums up what I think about dating sites, in all respects.  They are prime venues for vulgers licking their chops for tender hearted sheep.

One just has to be prayerful, when they desire to meet someone to marry.  Perhaps it will be a dating site, I can't judge their choice.  Just be careful and most of all prayerful.


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 14, 2011)

I feel like its just a snare. I mean how...why...what if...its just alot of things that can happen....with this. I just refuse to take this measure to find a husband.Just refuse to..It dont get that bad.Its just another reason to not trust God and take things into our own hands


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## Shimmie (Nov 14, 2011)

Alicialynn86 said:


> I feel like its just a snare. I mean how...why...what if...its just alot of things that can happen....with this. I just refuse to take this measure to find a husband.Just refuse to..It dont get that bad.Its just another reason to not trust God and take things into our own hands



I understand and I agree with you.   

However, it might be the Lord leading them there; the key is that one has to KNOW that it's God's leading and not their personal leading.   Otherwise it's just a waste of time on the computer when one's future spouse is elsewhere.  

Marriage is God's will and as a loving Father,  God will betrothe His daugthers.  He is fulfilling a legacy and a promise for them.   No dating sight can do this.


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 14, 2011)

Agreed! 




Shimmie said:


> I understand and I agree with you.
> 
> However, it might be the Lord leading them there; the key is that one has to KNOW that it's God's leading and not their personal leading. Otherwise it's just a waste of time on the computer when one's future spouse is elsewhere.
> 
> Marriage is God's will and as a loving Father, God will betrothe His daugthers. He is fulfilling a legacy and a promise for them. *No dating sight can do this*.


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## Rainbow Dash (Nov 14, 2011)

I had a friend that meet a guy on one of these dating sites. He sounded like a dream come true. He was saved, said all the right things but turned out to be wrong. She had women calling her when they found her number in his phone. I mean more than one woman. It was horrible. He was a nasty man that messed around with different women but he did some smooth saved talking on the phone. Thank God for exposing, she prayed and asked God to show her if he was the one and He did.


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## hair_rehab (Nov 14, 2011)

I will admit that I have recently tried two different Christian sites (and browsed one non-Christian site) and was very disappointed in them overall. I did meet a couple of nice men and kept in contact with them online for a period, but I think it takes much discernment in using those sites. I totally agree with @Shimmie about avoiding any person who asks for money and posts pics that look questionable. Honestly, I would much rather meet a man in person butI may have been panicking about meeting someone within my timeframe. I think it's better to trust God and get out among other men and women who are believers for wholesome fellowship without the pressure of finding a mate.


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## TraciChanel (Nov 14, 2011)

Health&hair28 said:


> I had a friend that meet a guy on one of these dating sites. He sounded like a dream come true. He was saved, said all the right things but turned out to be wrong. She had women calling her when they found her number in his phone. I mean more than one woman. It was horrible. He was a nasty man that messed around with different women but he did some smooth saved talking on the phone. *Thank God for exposing, she prayed and asked God to show her if he was the one and He did.*


 
Good for her! When you ask Him to reveal His will, boy will He do it!


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## Shimmie (Nov 14, 2011)

hair_rehab said:


> I will admit that I have recently tried two different Christian sites (and browsed one non-Christian site) and was very disappointed in them overall. I did meet a couple of nice men and kept in contact with them online for a period, but I think it takes much discernment in using those sites. I totally agree with @Shimmie about avoiding any person who asks for money and posts pics that look questionable. Honestly, I would much rather meet a man in person butI may have been panicking about meeting someone within my timeframe. I think it's better to trust God and get out among other men and women who are believers for wholesome fellowship without the pressure of finding a mate.



We have to treat the Internet with even more caution as we would walking in a dark alley.   Literally, that's what online dating is, it's a dark alley filled with the unknown.    Thank God for being a Light unto our Path; most of all, He orders our steps (meaning actions, decisions as well as our footsteps). 

God is our ultimate GPS (God's Protective Salvation).    Glory to His Name... Jesus!


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## LoveisYou (Nov 14, 2011)

Where were you ladies when I asked for feedback on online dating in the RT thread? lol


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## Shimmie (Nov 14, 2011)

LoveisYou said:


> Where were you ladies when I asked for feedback on online dating in the RT thread? lol






Over here  that you come over here and ask us, instead; Cause we know what's up.


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## Guitarhero (Nov 15, 2011)

I think there have been studies done to prove that people are making good matches.  Just like in-person, it's based upon randomness, though.  You just have more chances at meeting eligible good men/women as well bad people in a shorter amount of time.  You have to be careful whether you meet them at your church or online.


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## Rainbow Dash (Nov 15, 2011)

Guitarhero said:


> I think there have been studies done to prove that people are making good matches. Just like in-person, it's based upon randomness, though. You just have more chances at meeting eligible good men/women as well bad people in a shorter amount of time. *You have to be careful whether you meet them at your church or online.[/*QUOTE]
> 
> to the bolded. You must use discernment even in the church. Some come to church looking but their intentions are not good.  I remember a guy that was supposed to be a christian, telling me that he had a dream that I was supposed to be his wife... Boy bye. I am the wife of the man I married. Come to find out, he was telling other women this same thing.


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## Shimmie (Nov 15, 2011)

@ Guitarhero,  I agree that we have to be careful with both online and offline.  All the more we need God's leading in all areas of our lives. 

*To all:* 

I was watching Judge Ross early this morning and of all cases, it was about an online dating situation that went 'really wrong'.  

A woman was suing a man she had met online because he deceived her with not only his picture, but his life's details.  

His profile picture was a tall and very handsome white man.  I mean really handsome.     After three months of communication online and on the phone she flies out to California meet him in person.   

When he approached her he wasn't white or tall at all.   The real guy was a short, African American.

Wait, it gets better... I gotta' stop laughing first.      

Okay....  whew!  

Okay, in his profile and in their communication prior to meeting in person, he told her that he was in the film / picture business.  

      I have tears in my eyes from laughing right now.  

He ...     He, was in in the film business, all right.    

As it turned out, he worked as a clerk in a DVD rental store.    

He told Judge Ross, that he was still classified as being in the film business because he critiqued the DVD's.   :rofl3:  

This was 2 o'clock in the morning, I fell asleep with the TV on and woke up to this.  I laughed so hard at this man.   He actually stood there in front of Judge Ross and kept lying and justifying his lies.    Judge Ross held the print out of his online profile and said, 'Sir, but this man is white".    

I have to see if this episode is on YouTube.    I find it so interesting that I woke up to this and how it relates to this thread topic.    Too funny... 

ETA:  Okay, I found this link, but it doesn't 'appear' yet.   

The air date would be either 11/11 or 11/14/2011.


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 15, 2011)

...So sad so sad


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## Raspberry (Nov 15, 2011)

Alicialynn86 said:


> I have seen these Chrisitan Dating sites grow more and more lately.
> I was watching TV and a commercial for came on for one and it said "Help God find the one for you"....um last time i checked *God didnt need our help*, but anyway...what are yall thoughts on this? agree or disagree?



But God also calls Christians to help each other with earthly things, as illustrated in the early church - food, housing, encouragement, comfort, etc are all things we're commanded to provide each other when in need. In my mind the church as a whole is slacking on helping single Christians find each other and get married. Marriage is an earthly thing that often gets put into a purely spiritual box, this mindset keeps a lot of singles frustrated when it doesn't have to be that way.

As far as online dating, like anything else we should be led by the Spirit.. if you dont' have peace about it or you're doing it out of desperation or compulsion then it is sin for you.


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## Shimmie (Nov 15, 2011)

Alicialynn86 said:


> ...So sad so sad



Alicia, the situation was very sad.  The woman was suing him for the travel and hotel expenses that she wasted due to his deceptions.  

She was NOT expecting him as he truly was.  The picture of the White guy was very handsome, however, REALLY ???  Even that picture was deceptive in the sense, that you could tell that it was a 'model' from some advertisement.   SHE alone, should have known better or become suspicious of him.    I mean she flew all the way over there to see a 'him' who did not truly exist.     In addtion, if she's talking to this man over the phone, it was totally clear, from his dialect that he did not 'match' the picture.  

I mean... Really.   

The man even accused her of being fake.  Judge Ross asked why?  The man said that she had fake hair.    Now, he'd have been hit over that stupid remark.


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 15, 2011)

I dont believe in the bolded part.The job of the church isnt to help us find mates, it is to prepare us spiritually to meet our Maker and inform and teach us concerning God and his laws. 

If someone happens to get married, then Glory to God, marriage is beautiful..But Proverbs says to Trust In the Lord with all our heart and lean not to our own understanding...

Can I say how God works everything time? Of course not. But *MY OPINION* concerning dating sites is that we should trust God and shouldnt have to go "looking or posting" anything on the internet to find a spouse. Any dating site is DANGEROUS. So is God going to put me in a dangerous situation so i can meet a man? ....................


But this is my point of view......





Raspberry said:


> But God also calls Christians to help each other with earthly things, as illustrated in the early church - food, housing, encouragement, comfort, etc are all things we're commanded to provide each other when in need. *In my mind the church as a whole is slacking on helping single Christians find each other and get married*. Marriage is an earthly thing that often gets put into a purely spiritual box, this mindset keeps a lot of singles frustrated when it doesn't have to be that way.
> 
> As far as online dating, like anything else we should be led by the Spirit.. if you dont' have peace about it or you're doing it out of desperation or compulsion then it is sin for you.


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 15, 2011)

SMH....its just so much i could say...but im not 





Shimmie said:


> Alicia, the situation was very sad. The woman was suing him for the travel and hotel expenses that she wasted due to his deceptions.
> 
> She was NOT expecting him as he truly was. The picture of the White guy was very handsome, however, REALLY ??? Even that picture was deceptive in the sense, that you could tell that it was a 'model' from some advertisement. SHE alone, should have known better or become suspicious of him. I mean she flew all the way over there to see a 'him' who did not truly exist. In addtion, if she's talking to this man over the phone, it was totally clear, from his dialect that he did not 'match' the picture.
> 
> ...


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Nov 15, 2011)

I think the anonomy(sp?) of the internet allows people to be more creative in their deceptions and that's another reason why I don't believe in online dating...


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 15, 2011)

When people are dating online, the first thing they look at to determine whether or not they want to talk to you is what....your profile pic..so its just physical things that draws them to you anyway on the first place. Now, this THREAD is about CHRISTIAN dating sites. So someone else may be happy that a man wants to communicate with her because he is attracted physically, but a Christian woman should want more...im just saying..


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## Guitarhero (Nov 15, 2011)

Raspberry said:


> But God also calls Christians to help each other with earthly things, as illustrated in the early church - food, housing, encouragement, comfort, etc are all things we're commanded to provide each other when in need. In my mind the church as a whole is slacking on helping single Christians find each other and get married. Marriage is an earthly thing that often gets put into a purely spiritual box, this mindset keeps a lot of singles frustrated when it doesn't have to be that way.
> 
> As far as online dating, like anything else we should be led by the Spirit.. if you dont' have peace about it or you're doing it out of desperation or compulsion then it is sin for you.



Here I go again....but in my church, it's one of the 7 sacraments...so it is definitely, highly spiritual and it should not be entered into lightly.  The vows are made to G-d (spiritual) and to the spouse for life, when it's a true union devoid of trickery.  Jesus was also earthly...He came in the flesh and lived among us.


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 15, 2011)

I agree, the church should assist/aide us, or teach us about marriage, but is it the church's responsibility find us a spouse?? no...


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## Shimmie (Nov 15, 2011)

Alicialynn86 said:


> When people are dating online, the first thing they look at to determine whether or not they want to talk to you is what....your profile pic..so its just physical things that draws them to you anyway on the first place. Now, this THREAD is about CHRISTIAN dating sites. So someone else may be happy that a man wants to communicate with her because he is attracted physically, but a Christian woman should want more...im just saying..



This is so true about profiles and the pictures.  

One of the things that Judge Ross mentioned to the man was, the reason that he misrepresented himself was because he wasn't happy with who he was, hence the picture of a White man, instead of him.

Now, I find this so interesting and very sad.   This Black man, short and most definitely insecure, chose a White man to represent him.   Well, why not a Black man or a Black model?   There are plenty of them and quite handsome in all shades of chocolate, browns and caramels.     (I'm emphasizing the beauty of being Black).  

Truly this man has issues far beyond his looks.  He's 'saying' (without words) that he feels as a White man, he be more readily accepted than being a Black man.    

I find this very sad and this man is nor ready for a relationship all around.


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 15, 2011)

What I dont get is...did he ever expect to meet these woman?? He had to have know they would find out..or maybe he was just looking for friendship and wasnt expecting them to meet...i dont know..




Shimmie said:


> This is so true about profiles and the pictures.
> 
> One of the things that Judge Ross mentioned to the man was, the reason that he misrepresented himself was because he wasn't happy with who he was, hence the picture of a White man, instead of him.
> 
> ...


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## Shimmie (Nov 15, 2011)

Alicialynn86 said:


> What I dont get is...did he ever expect to meet these woman?? He had to have know they would find out..or maybe he was just looking for friendship and wasnt expecting them to meet...i dont know..



Judge Ross made it clear that this man was a 'fraud'.

You know, he may have been luring this woman (baiting her) to come see him and has ill intent planned.   It's scarey.    

Remember the news reports on pedophiles, how they lure young teens online to 'meet' them somewhere.    This man may be one of those crazies luring adult women.  Once these women leave home, they are outside of their protective enviroment, in another state, etc.   This makes them 'prey' to  a 'potential' setup for harm or danger.   God forbid.

In our family and my close friends, none of us are allowed to go anywhere without any of us knowing.  It's a tracking measure we each have.   A simple text or phone call that says, "I'm out shopping or hanging out at or with, so and so.    We know where we are and what we are doing.


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## TraciChanel (Nov 15, 2011)

Shimmie said:


> Judge Ross made it clear that this man was a 'fraud'.
> 
> You know, he may have been luring this woman (baiting her) to come see him and has ill intent planned. It's scarey.
> 
> ...


 
That's a good thing to do - especially for women.


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## Shimmie (Nov 15, 2011)

TraciChanel said:


> That's a good thing to do - especially for women.



We travel a lot in our family and in my circle of very close friends.   When we're in taxi's, we call and have them note the taxi's ID number and the time that we got into it.    Our flights are pretty easy to track, however my family gets an email copy of the Itinerary so that we all have a record of where I'm flyiing and when. 

And Trust... We and All get prayed over.  Everything about what we do, is commited unto the Lord for His guidance and protection no matter where we go and what we do and what/where we eat.   We don't leave home without Jesus.


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## Prudent1 (Nov 16, 2011)

Health&hair28 said:


> Guitarhero said:
> 
> 
> > I think there have been studies done to prove that people are making good matches. Just like in-person, it's based upon randomness, though. You just have more chances at meeting eligible good men/women as well bad people in a shorter amount of time. *You have to be careful whether you meet them at your church or online.[/*QUOTE]
> ...


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