# My Mom Passed Away.



## blazingthru (Jun 15, 2017)

My mom was living on borrowed time and i kept forgetting that. I was blessed that  I lived with my mother for the past almost three years.  She would come into my room without knocking asking me what I was doing.  She would leave and come back thirty minutes later and ask me the same question and i would pause and say what I had said earlier.  She was a hoot. She had a stroke in 2012 and lost her voice, she could talk we just could not understand her and we all tried hard to figure out what she was saying, It was hard.  Sometimes it was very hard and sometimes it was easy as pie. She would end up going back to the hospital and staying close to a month at time for illness that we could not catch she would say she doesn't feel well, but could not tell us what was bothering her. Eventually, it would get so bad we had to call an ambulance and still not know what was wrong.  Shes been great since I went back to work, not ending up in the hospital for 2 years. but she developed a UTI and UTI' s are dangerous in the elderly, my mother was only 75 years old. We were set to go on vacation next month and she got sick, my dad called me at work to tell me she had to go to the hospital and that this may be the end for her and through my shock I raced to be with her but before we got to the hospital she recovered quickly. I spent the day with her anyway. Then I went back to work, she just had a UTI and will have to stay a bit, but will be fine. But since she came in mirroring a stroke she went to ICU and then eventually to her room. I came up a few times, and more when she went to rehab, in Rehab she was trying to escape and that is not my mom. I was shocked at that.  So during this time, she wasn't being very friendly, now I know it was she just wanted to go home. But couldn't yet, we had to make sure she could balance herself and go up and down the stairs and we found out she would go home this Tuesday and so I didn't go and see her on Friday, I planned to go see her on Saturday morning.  but waiting for my daughters to come to the house which they did we didn't get ready right away. What I didn't know was when my daughters arrived. My mom had already passed. they worked on her for 2 hours. Didn't call us. Finally they called us and ask us to come to the hospital and told us that she had passed and we were in total and complete shock, Shock.  I am having the hardest time forgiving myself for not seeing her on Friday for not kissing her and telling her I Love her that one time. I was upset when I left her becasue she wasn't really interested in us and kept leaving us and so I said bye Mom i'll see you tomorrow, and I didn't come the next day. I got home to late from work. She passed away and I can't say those words to her again. I won't see her when I come home from work, she was always sitting in her chair and looking for me, everyday.  my mom has 7 children, but I was the sentimental child and I was always here with my parents. I didn't get in my mothers face, she is from the south, not very affectionate but we were always a close knit family. I have things at my house or my church or my functions and they would come and be apart and I would come and be apart of theirs. I did really good by my mother, but oh I could have done so much more, I could have.  We will lay my mom to rest Monday, June 19th. I have had barely five minutes without weeping for my mom. I am doing everything I need to do, but she was my connection to who I am and now its broken and I find it unbearable.  The things I would say to her if she was still here.  My dad said that I have done all a daughter should do for her mom. I should have no regrets, but I do, there was more I could have done, but I loved my mother, I hoped she knew that


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## Dee Raven (Jun 15, 2017)

@blazingthru , I'm so sorry. My prayers are with your family.


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## chejam (Jun 15, 2017)

I am so sorry for your loss. May God comfort you at this time..


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## CarefreeinChicago (Jun 15, 2017)

I am sorry for your loss


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## qchelle (Jun 15, 2017)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## dr.j (Jun 16, 2017)

Praying for comfort for you and your family.


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## janaq2003 (Jun 16, 2017)

Oh girl. I'm so sorry.


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## Chicoro (Jun 16, 2017)

I am sorry for your loss.

Your mommy loved you and you loved your mommy.

You've done right by your mother.

When I read your story, I realized how hopeful and positive you were, because of her. You had a great deal of faith and experience in your mother's powerful strength. She never gave up, even with all the physical challenges that happened to her after her stroke. Each time she had a set-back, another difficulty, another illness, she always fought it and overcame it. And there'd she be sitting at home in her favorite chair.  This last time in the hospital was no different. Your actions were based on knowing how strong your mother is and how things have always turned out before. You've been so good, such a giving, kind and helpful child to your precious, precious mother.

May you find comfort and strength in your time of need. Ask for support and help and it shall be given.


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## Allandra (Jun 16, 2017)

(((hugs)))


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## ColibriNoir (Jun 16, 2017)

@blazingthru so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. I know what it's like to lose a mother and my heart breaks for you. I believe that she knows how much you truly love her. May you find comfort at this difficult time.


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## Chromia (Jun 16, 2017)

I'm very sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family.


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## Sashaa08 (Jun 16, 2017)

@blazingthru, sorry for your loss. Your mother was blessed to have a faithful, devoted, and loving daughter who cared for her and loved her deeply. You and your family are in my prayers.


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## Charmingchick1 (Jun 16, 2017)

I'm very sorry for your loss.  I believe that your mother knew how much you loved her.


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## Lovely_Lady82 (Jun 16, 2017)

Of course your mother knows that you loved and cared for her very much!!  It is very evident by your ACTIONS that you loved her based on all of the time, attention, and support you gave her and your father.  My condolences to you and your family and I pray that you are able to find rest, peace, and comfort during this difficult time.


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## Misseyl (Jun 16, 2017)

Sorry for your loss.  Don't worry your mother knows you loved her and that you did the best for her.  I know, when my father died, I questioned myself a lot.  Maybe I should have done this or I should have done that, but no matter what, things would still have been the same.


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## kanozas (Jun 16, 2017)

Our condolences to your family during this difficult time.


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## naturalfinally (Jun 16, 2017)

Oh Blazingthru!  My eyes weep with you.  I know.......I know......Almost the same thing with mine.  My heart is right now knitted with yours.  She knew you loved her.  The words are good but the actions, the looks, the laughs, the conversations, the silences......they all convey what words can never express.  On angels wings she has flown.  Imagine her never hurting again and having all of her faculties....watching you as you move through life, being proud of you.  Knowing that she had so much to do with who you are.  Crying now with you.


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## curlicarib (Jun 16, 2017)

So sorry, Hon.    My thoughts are with you and your family.


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## blazingthru (Jun 16, 2017)

Misseyl said:


> Sorry for your loss.  Don't worry your mother knows you loved her and that you did the best for her.  I know, when my father died, I questioned myself a lot.  Maybe I should have done this or I should have done that, but no matter what, things would still have been the same.


I know, I so know this.  I am so going to miss that little ole lady.


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## Atthatday (Jun 16, 2017)

Sorry for your loss. May GOD bless your and your family during this time!!


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## Rsgal (Jun 16, 2017)

My sincere condolences for the loss of your mum.
 Don't beat yourself up for missing that one visit. Your mother knew you loved her and did the best and she is gonna bless you and so will God.


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## FearlessNik (Jun 16, 2017)

Sorry for your loss.


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## Godsdaughter001 (Jun 16, 2017)

@blazingthru May God bless you and put your mind at ease.  Your post was beautiful and you are a beautiful person. But even more, you are a loving and caring daughter. Of course your mom knew you loved her. That's why she was there to greet you and looking for you when you came home in the afternoons. It's no mistake that out of all of her 7 children she came to live with you in the end.  I will be praying for you and your family.


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## Shimmie (Jun 16, 2017)

Dearest Blaz..❤

I am so sorry for your loss.   I can only imagine how deeply you are hurting.  No matter what, you have such a true heart of love and your darling mother knew this, so much so, that she takes this love of yours with her and Jesus.

My prayers are with you, all in love and in the sincerest of care.   I will be praying for you and your family.    

Love, 
Shimmie


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## Laela (Jun 16, 2017)

Blazin', I'm so saddened to hear about your mom.. my prayers are with you and your family.


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## ItsMeLilLucky (Jun 16, 2017)

What they said


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## Buckeyecurlz (Jun 16, 2017)

@blazingthru I'm truly sorry for your loss but please rest in knowing that your mommy knows how much you loved her!!!


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## blazingthru (Jun 16, 2017)

Shimmie said:


> Dearest Blaz..❤
> 
> I am so sorry for your loss.   I can only imagine how deeply you are hurting.  No matter what, you have such a true heart of love and your darling mother knew this, so much so, that she takes this love of yours with her and Jesus.
> 
> ...


Thank you Shimmie,  I am not even trying to hold back my tears.  I been blessed, I had my mother for a long time.  I know there really is never enough time.  The wake is Sunday, I am hoping I keep it together.


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## nursenappy (Jun 16, 2017)

I'm sorry about your mom.   I love the Prophecy and promise from God in the very first sentence at Isaiah 26:19 Your dead will live.  Please take comfort in someday soon, you will be able to tell your mom many many things.  Rev 21:4 And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”


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## Allandra (Jun 17, 2017)

@blazingthru

Dear, please know I'm thinking about you (along with many others here).  We all hope that you are doing ok and hanging in there.  (((hugs)))


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## blazingthru (Jun 17, 2017)

naturalfinally said:


> Oh Blazingthru!  My eyes weep with you.  I know.......I know......Almost the same thing with mine.  My heart is right now knitted with yours.  She knew you loved her.  The words are good but the actions, the looks, the laughs, the conversations, the silences......they all convey what words can never express.  On angels wings she has flown.  Imagine her never hurting again and having all of her faculties....watching you as you move through life, being proud of you.  Knowing that she had so much to do with who you are.  Crying now with you.



Thank you,  I never imagine I would be this emotional. I had forgotten all that I did for my mom. My sister and brother and my children reminded me, but in my heart.  I think  I would have felt much better if I had went to see her Friday.  i know that honestly, nothing will make me feel better. Now i understand the pain.   I know what it feels like, we know its coming but always thinking we have a little more time.  I cherish my father every single day.  today, family fly in  I am worried about the things they will do, please pray for me to have strength and patience.  i know they will upset my dad. i hope and pray they come to comfort him and look after him so we can finish doing what we need to do.


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## 11228 (Jun 17, 2017)

@blazingthru you have my deepest sympathy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


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## Farida (Jun 17, 2017)

I am sorry for your loss.


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## Highly Favored8 (Jun 18, 2017)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## newgrowth15 (Jun 18, 2017)

@blazingthru, your mom knew how much you loved and cared for her.  You have my heartfelt sympathy at this time of loss.  I pray that God's peace will rest upon your entire family and that all will go well over the next few days.

Give yourself and your family members time and space to grieve--remember, they lost their loved one too and everyone grieves differently.

Let yourself off the hook for missing one day in visiting your mom.  Nothing happens by accident and not forgiving yourself gives Satan a foothold to torture you with feelings of guilt and shame.  From what you have described, you were good to your mom and very patient with her.  Take good care of your dad and yourself.  He will need to lean on you even more at this time.

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  May you find comfort in God's loving arms.  God bless you.


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## Cien (Jun 18, 2017)

@blazingthru 
My deepest condolences are extended to you and your family. I am deeply sorry for your loss.


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## phynestone (Jun 19, 2017)

Sorry for your loss.


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## donna894 (Jun 19, 2017)

So sorry for your loss.  Please know that your mom appreciated and loved you very much..  Be kind to yourself during this difficult time.


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## Aggie (Jun 19, 2017)

Have my deepest sympathies. I know what it's like since I lost mine several years ago. I pray that God strengthens you during your time of bereavement.


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## blazingthru (Jun 22, 2017)

Thank you everyone, I treasure everything you have to say. It has helped me stay focused, stay alert and helpful, even when I didn't want too. My mom is in the ground and now I can start to work on healing.  I returned to work yesterday for the first time since all this happen, everyone was so very kind to me. I appreciated that. They all signed a card and some shared that they had lost their mom too. I sent everyone an email letting them know that I appreciated all that they had done, and that I am working through it.  If they see me crying, ignore me, you all know why. that I was ok and didn't need anything. They all understood. So far its been a good two days back in the office.  

At first I wasn't going to post, but I needed to say what was hurting me and I felt that my family could not understand. I wanted to say to my mom, that I loved her before she passed from this life. I hadn't said it the entire week. I didn't look back when I left the rehab and that was the last image I have of my mother alive. Its so hard for me to bear. But I was obedient and respectful to her. If I sounded like I wasn't I immediately apologized.  She was my mom, you only get one mother, treasure her, even if she is terrible. God blesses those who honor their parents, with long life.  If only is all I have left, but I know the Devil does this thing to you to keep you off focused. I am completely on focus, I just wish she had more time with us. But I appreciate you guys very much. I usually do not go into these type of threads, I am usually at a loss for words, but I will. Encouragement can't be beat. Thank you so much for positive feed back, for your prayers and thoughtful words. 

it will be a long while for me to get over my mom.  I loved her and did all I could do becasue i know you only get one. If not for her there is no me.


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## felic1 (Jul 2, 2017)

blazingthru said:


> My mom was living on borrowed time and i kept forgetting that. I was blessed that  I lived with my mother for the past almost three years.  She would come into my room without knocking asking me what I was doing.  She would leave and come back thirty minutes later and ask me the same question and i would pause and say what I had said earlier.  She was a hoot. She had a stroke in 2012 and lost her voice, she could talk we just could not understand her and we all tried hard to figure out what she was saying, It was hard.  Sometimes it was very hard and sometimes it was easy as pie. She would end up going back to the hospital and staying close to a month at time for illness that we could not catch she would say she doesn't feel well, but could not tell us what was bothering her. Eventually, it would get so bad we had to call an ambulance and still not know what was wrong.  Shes been great since I went back to work, not ending up in the hospital for 2 years. but she developed a UTI and UTI' s are dangerous in the elderly, my mother was only 75 years old. We were set to go on vacation next month and she got sick, my dad called me at work to tell me she had to go to the hospital and that this may be the end for her and through my shock I raced to be with her but before we got to the hospital she recovered quickly. I spent the day with her anyway. Then I went back to work, she just had a UTI and will have to stay a bit, but will be fine. But since she came in mirroring a stroke she went to ICU and then eventually to her room. I came up a few times, and more when she went to rehab, in Rehab she was trying to escape and that is not my mom. I was shocked at that.  So during this time, she wasn't being very friendly, now I know it was she just wanted to go home. But couldn't yet, we had to make sure she could balance herself and go up and down the stairs and we found out she would go home this Tuesday and so I didn't go and see her on Friday, I planned to go see her on Saturday morning.  but waiting for my daughters to come to the house which they did we didn't get ready right away. What I didn't know was when my daughters arrived. My mom had already passed. they worked on her for 2 hours. Didn't call us. Finally they called us and ask us to come to the hospital and told us that she had passed and we were in total and complete shock, Shock.  I am having the hardest time forgiving myself for not seeing her on Friday for not kissing her and telling her I Love her that one time. I was upset when I left her becasue she wasn't really interested in us and kept leaving us and so I said bye Mom i'll see you tomorrow, and I didn't come the next day. I got home to late from work. She passed away and I can't say those words to her again. I won't see her when I come home from work, she was always sitting in her chair and looking for me, everyday.  my mom has 7 children, but I was the sentimental child and I was always here with my parents. I didn't get in my mothers face, she is from the south, not very affectionate but we were always a close knit family. I have things at my house or my church or my functions and they would come and be apart and I would come and be apart of theirs. I did really good by my mother, but oh I could have done so much more, I could have.  We will lay my mom to rest Monday, June 19th. I have had barely five minutes without weeping for my mom. I am doing everything I need to do, but she was my connection to who I am and now its broken and I find it unbearable.  The things I would say to her if she was still here.  My dad said that I have done all a daughter should do for her mom. I should have no regrets, but I do, there was more I could have done, but I loved my mother, I hoped she knew that


7th


blazingthru said:


> I know, I so know this.  I am so going to miss that little ole lady.



@blazingthru
Hello precious. I have not been on
The board for few days. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. God will walk you through it. I see your dad said you had done a good job. I am thankful,for the time you had with her. You had a situation to be with her and spend time with her prior to her departure That is priceless. It also adds to your comfort. Cast your care on him. Slide the care off and wear the  rest as a loose garment. Love ya. Post any time. felic1.   My. Parents wedding anniversary was,june 19. It would have been 63 years


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## Shimmie (Jul 3, 2017)

blazingthru said:


> Thank you Shimmie,  I am not even trying to hold back my tears.  I been blessed, I had my mother for a long time.  I know there really is never enough time.  The wake is Sunday, I am hoping I keep it together.


Dearest Blaz...❤

You are still in my heart and prayers, Dear One ❤

Love,
Shimmie


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## SpiritJunkie (Jul 4, 2017)

My condolences to you & your family


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## Supergirl (Jul 12, 2017)

praying for peace, comfort, strength, resilience, and rest for you (((hugs)))


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## Laela (Jul 12, 2017)

@blazingthru ... keeping you in my thoughts / prayers today. Hope you're doing better as time goes by. Stay encouraged.


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Jul 12, 2017)

@blazingthru  so sorry to hear about your mom's passing, I recall you saying sometime ago that you were also her caregiver, which makes it somewhat harder because a different kind of closeness develops.   Praying for you and your family.


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## blazingthru (Jul 14, 2017)

Life or better God's plan for us is so hard to understand at times. I was going through a divorce,(still married ya'll!) I ended up moving to my parents house, I wasn't happy about it, they have a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood, city etc., so I was so blessed to come here. All I could see was what I lost, not the peace and tranquility I had here and the time to just be me and not Mommy.  What a blessing. Then to know that I was here everyday with my Mom and she wasn't sick for two years was a blessing. I am glad  I had that time with her before she passed. I am making my way through everyday. I am grateful that God gave me that.  Yes I weep daily for my mom, but its not as bad as it was. its pretty much once or twice a day. we haven't cleaned out her things and when we do that will be a difficult task, none of us are looking forward to it at all. Thank you so much for your prayers, kind words everyone.


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## kanozas (Jul 15, 2017)

Keeping you in prayer.  Pray for us, too?


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## ivyness (Jul 15, 2017)

Praying for you


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## mensa (Jul 23, 2017)

Blazingthru, I pray that our Lord Jesus Christ will heal your heart as only He is able to do.


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## Galadriel (Jul 29, 2017)

My condolences, so sorry to hear of your loss.


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## VirtuousGal (Jul 30, 2017)

Big hugs for your heart and your hurt. I pray that you feel God's presence as you reconcile with her transition. You are so richly blessed to have spent such precious moments with her. May the Lord grant you peace and comfort <3


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## Laela (Aug 18, 2017)

@blazingthru ... How are you doing, sis?


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## scarcity21 (Aug 18, 2017)

@blazingthru im so sorry for your loss...Time heals all wounds...I hope you're feeling better**ehugs**


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## blazingthru (Aug 19, 2017)

Laela said:


> @blazingthru ... How are you doing, sis?


Hey Laela, 
I am well, I am not hurting as much. That part I can't explain to well. I miss her very much. We all do we all have our moments here and there, but I am doing well. Its exactly two months since we buried her today.  I  and my family talk of her often we still can't believe it. but we all are moving on.  We all have different beliefs and so we all grieve differently. I keep going over that day and wanting to ask her what happen. I am so crazy. I still come home to tell her what so and so said about her, we are still getting cards from all the churches my dad pastor in some are just getting the notice, we still get stopped when we go to certain stores she and my father shopped in. They would come and ask about her and said we haven't seen her where is she and I break down.  I would say see mom you were wrong. She would always say she didn't have anybody, it was weird that she did that when she was always surrounded by family members. 
I believe my mother is asleep,  death is a dreamless sleep and so I don't believe she is in heaven. I believe she is sleeping in her grave and I use to want to get others to see it but I realize now that I am going through it, this probably would not be the best time to be like that. So I am silent when some one is grieving unless they ask me directly.  No one knows what your going through unless they go through themselves.

I am back to studying and working and dealing with life issues, with my grown children. Back to being exhausted everyday. 
I just want to do something strange before I pass from this earth, not for me for someone else. I want to be able to say it was all worth it.  My mom's death made me realize how very short life is and we should not waste it on foolishness.  
Thank you so much for asking.


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## blazingthru (Aug 19, 2017)

scarcity21 said:


> @blazingthru im so sorry for your loss...Time heals all wounds...I hope you're feeling better**ehugs**



I am doing better, thank you kindly. We are planning a huge BBQ for our family gathering. I've been traveling and relaxing in Miami and heading back to Alabamy for a wedding and so I am doing well. Its not easy, but I am getting through, thank you.


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## blazingthru (Aug 19, 2017)

mensa said:


> Blazingthru, I pray that our Lord Jesus Christ will heal your heart as only He is able to do.


Thank you. you know that is why we can get through really hard and difficult task we know that Jesus is truly our rock, I am watching others grieve and its shocking to me, I have hope. I can't imagine my life without it. I see the destruction folks do to themselves and others without having faith in the Lord, worst these people haven't missed services in years and are still behaving strangely over someones death.  Its truly sad. I miss my mom and I am sorry she went so quickly, I fear that I will always feel that way even if she passed at 90.  I've been blessed to have my mom as long as I have. I have hope in my heart that I will see her again one day. thank you so much


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## mensa (Aug 19, 2017)

My Sister in Christ Jesus, you are so very welcome!


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