# A Private School In Louisiana Sends A Black Girl Home For Having Extensions



## CurlyNiquee

“I hate that I have to post this. But this just isn’t right. This is an issue we tried to resolve with the school, but they won’t compromise at all. My sister Faith and many little black girls wear extensions. She’s been attending this school for two years and wearing extensions. Over the summer the school has sneakily added in a policy, that no extensions, clip-ins or weaves are allowed. Faith got a notice on the first day of class and it’s ridiculous that these schools that we are PAYING for, will go in and make policies without consulting or trying to figure out how this will affect your life or your child’s life. Extensions make the hair easier to maintain. It allows my sister to have access to the swimming pool without having to get her hair Re-done every night. How do you make a policy without even having a discussion. It’s because you don’t care and it’s just one more barrier to entry for black people. This decision is going to affect black children more than white children. Please share this video. All the principal could say was, “They’re swinging it and things like that...” My entire middle and high school career I was in private school I sat behind a million white girls who would play in their hair. Re-do their pony tails a million times a day. Nothing was ever said. She kept saying the issue is it’s not their natural hair. It’s a style that we are not allowing. It’s not uniform. WOW. This is Christ The King Middle School in Gretna, Louisiana. This has all just been very upsetting.”


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## ThirdEyeBeauty

How would they know it's extension?  It's none of their business.

She should show up in a big afro.


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## ArrrBeee

When people show you who they are, believe them. If I had kids, they wouldn't go there. 

If they're getting that type of mistreatment publicly, imagine the microaggresions that are going on in the classroom and on the playground.


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## hothair

We weren't allowed extensions in boarding school. All black schools. Extensions a no. Some very popular schools evrn now insist on girls going into secondary to shave their hair. Reason: self esteem should not be tied to attachments.


The parents can go to another school.


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## JudithO

I went to school in Nigeria - first boarding school we attended, we all had to shave our hair... second boarding... only cornrows allowed, no extensions, or grown up hair styles ..... you could get your hair shaved for not following the rules. 

Were the parents told before this rules changed? Are white girls in this school also affected with the no clip-ins/extensions clause? If yes, then I'll let it go and remove the extensions... otherwise, take your money and go to another school..


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## Kanky

People have a weird obsession with black womens hair. (I realize that I’m writing this on a hair forum. Bear with me.  ) There’s a strange obsession with making black girl’s hair acceptable or appropriate and it leads to all kinds of ridiculous rules like the ones about braid extensions. Braid extensions are age appropriate and convenient and there’s no good reason not to allow them but of course they can’t just leave well enough alone. They have to police  her hair and let her know that it is only acceptable in certain ways.


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## nurseN98

I agree it was sneaky how they just did it and notified parents first day of school. That was underhanded. But when you pay for private school, you are paying to be a part of THEIR system..not the other way around. The bottom line is you stay there and pay or you leave.

In the back of our minds we have to remember that these ppl are not trying to let us live and breathe and be comfortable in our own skin.  I think the goal is for us to conform to what they think is acceptable.


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## smwrigh3

Threads like this make me so mad I cannot even articulate my thoughts.

Its so interesting hearing about boarding school and shaving girl's hair. I just always assumed it was a cultural thing (not a school thing).  I wouldn't be ok with cutting my hair off and I def wouldn't be ok with a school official cutting off my hair for not following the rules. But I can respect different cultures have different rules.

Is this a Catholic school thing? Are the rules for the church the same for the school? Also, I think I found the school on facebook. If its the right, this might be something new because I didn't see any black girls or black women in any of the pictures. I did see 3 back boys and a black man/father.

The demographic is a mix of white, Asian and Latino; not surprising for a Catholic school I would assume.


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## Godsdaughter001

hothair said:


> *We weren't allowed extensions in boarding school. All black schools. Extensions a no. *Some very popular schools evrn now insist on girls going into secondary to shave their hair. *Reason: self esteem should not be tied to attachments.
> 
> The parents can go to another school.*



To the bolded: I think your case is completely different because  it seems that at your school you all knew that extensions weren't allowed from the beginning. This child apparently wore extensions last school year and all was fine. Now, all of a sudden, she can't wear hair extensions because of a "new" policy (that apparently, the parents were not made aware of) and is humiliated in front of her class for it. Racism in its purest form. The administrators enforcing this new rule were white. My heart aches for this little girl. How humiliating and what a blow to her self-esteem to be called out like that.



JudithO said:


> *I went to school in Nigeria - first boarding school we attended, we all had to shave our hair... second boarding... only cornrows allowed, no extensions, or grown up hair styles ..... you could get your hair shaved for not following the rules. *
> 
> Were the parents told before this rules changed? Are white girls in this school also affected with the no clip-ins/extensions clause? If yes, then I'll let it go and remove the extensions... otherwise, take your money and go to another school..



To the bolded, when it's a cultural thing, I totally get it. But it seems with this child, they are making up rules willy-nilly that affect black children and what THEY think black children should look like. I personally do not like hair extensions on little girls, but I would never seek to humiliate a child or seek out ways to stop them from wearing hair extensions. IMO, the little girl's hair in the video was neat and looked nice. She did not deserve being humiliated like that.


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## hothair

In the schools it wasn't cultural. Just rules. It was generally frowned upon to chemically process a child's hair, wear extensions or make up (gloss included). I know religious schools tend to emphasize that. 


I think if its not something that was communicated to the parents before school started then its a problem. If not, rules are rules.

There is a post I saw on ig about a school refusing a little boy with dreadlocks. His hair was free form all over his head. Every school I have attended black and mixed would have refused him entry to classes unless he tied it up, or even shaved. 

Parents should have options for schools and use them when it comes to things like these.


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## Makenzie

Nothing was wrong with her hair! Absolutely. Nothing!! Completely age appropriate and totally low maintenance.  Poor thing to find out the first day of school there is a new policy.  Schools send out notices beforehand as to what the children will need for the upcoming school year.  Why wasn't this included BEFOREHAND?  Yes, this is school policy, but why has the school changed the policy?  They took no consideration of their current student attendees and how it would affect them.  I can see placing a limit on length, color, or even having portions of your head shaved off.  However, this is absolutely ridiculous.  As someone mentioned earlier, how do they even know that's not her hair.  It looks very natural.

Yes, in other cultures/countries it may be customary to shave a girls head, but that is not the custom over here.  A young girl taking swimming finds it much easier to maintain her hair during that semester with some sort of added hair.  And let's be real, extensions has the connotation of white woman getting clip ons of long flowy  hair.  What this child has is braids.  Yeah, I get extensions covers that, but still.

The answer is not an easy 'just go to another school'.  This child's education has been interrupted through no fault of her own or her parents.  This was a deliberate tactic used by the school.  She has consistently been in braids prior, and the school changed the policy and did not notify anyone until the first day of school.  I bet the school notified the parents how much various fees were, and what supplies were needed FOR THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.  Sorry this just made me really hot!  Today is not the day.


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## momi

The little girl's hair looks perfectly fine... if the mama was the student then that would be another story.

I blame Umar Johnson.


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## dyh080

Rules are rules. Little girls ( and not most other women) need extensions anyhow. I would NEVER, EVER put extensions on a little girl.  When she's an older teen and wants them ok.  But while she is in the years forming her self esteem....IT'S A NOOOOOO.


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## dyh080

Makenzie said:


> Nothing was wrong with her hair! Absolutely. Nothing!! Completely age appropriate and totally low maintenance.  Poor thing to find out the first day of school there is a new policy.  Schools send out notices beforehand as to what the children will need for the upcoming school year.  Why wasn't this included BEFOREHAND?  Yes, this is school policy, but why has the school changed the policy?  They took no consideration of their current student attendees and how it would affect them.  I can see placing a limit on length, color, or even having portions of your head shaved off.  However, this is absolutely ridiculous.  As someone mentioned earlier, how do they even know that's not her hair.  It looks very natural.
> 
> Yes, in other cultures/countries it may be customary to shave a girls head, but that is not the custom over here.  A young girl taking swimming finds it much easier to maintain her hair during that semester with some sort of added hair.  And let's be real, extensions has the connotation of white woman getting clip ons of long flowy  hair.  What this child has is braids.  Yeah, I get extensions covers that, but still.
> 
> The answer is not an easy 'just go to another school'.  This child's education has been interrupted through no fault of her own or her parents.  This was a deliberate tactic used by the school.  She has consistently been in braids prior, and the school changed the policy and did not notify anyone until the first day of school.  I bet the school notified the parents how much various fees were, and what supplies were needed FOR THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.  Sorry this just made me really hot!  Today is not the day.




1. Her education is not interrupted.....her attendance at that school is interrupted.
2. Rules are rules and yes can be changed.
3. It is her parents' fault.  Teaching a little girl that she needs added fake hair bought in a store in order to look presentable, or go on vacation, or to go swimming , etc . is borderline child abuse.

The above is my opinion. We all have them  and can disagree.


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## Makenzie

dyh080 said:


> 1. Her education is not interrupted.....her attendance at that school is interrupted.
> 2. Rules are rules and yes can be changed.
> 3. It is her parents' fault.  Teaching a little girl that she needs added fake hair bought in a store in order to look presentable, or go on vacation, or to go swimming , etc . is borderline child abuse.
> 
> *The above is my opinion. We all have them  and can disagree*.



I agree.


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## dyh080

Parents should not put extensions on little girls. It is demoralizing to the child although most have been conditioned to think it beautifies them. This is akin to child abuse.

In their formative years I can't understand teaching little Black girls that they are not good enough unless they have some fake attachment purchased (usually) from store owners who do not look like her.

Parents need to stop being lazy. DO YOUR CHILD'S hair, even if you have to do so every day.

Swimming, vacations, working late, all excuses.


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## Crackers Phinn

Dr. Umar said no weave would be allowed at his magical mythical school.


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## HappilyLiberal

This school is part of the archdiocese of New Orleans.  Her mother can get this resolved with one phone call to (1) the media and (2) the Archdiocesan Catholic schools office.  They have spent the better part of the past four years getting all of the Catholic schools on the same page about school policies.  Plus, they have been ticking off the black Catholic population.  They do not want this headache.  She'll be back in school--with her extensions--within three days!

Imma see if I can find the mom's contact info.  If anyone has it please post.


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## HappilyLiberal

dyh080 said:


> Parents should not put extensions on little girls. It is demoralizing to the child although most have been conditioned to think it beautifies them. This is akin to child abuse.
> 
> In their formative years I can't understand teaching little Black girls that they are not good enough unless they have some fake attachment purchased (usually) from store owners who do not look like her.
> 
> Parents need to stop being lazy. DO YOUR CHILD'S hair, even if you have to do so every day.
> 
> Swimming, vacations, working late, all excuses.




It 's not just a matter of  style and convenience.  Braids are a great protective style and can help her avoid all kinds of unnecessary damage.

Oh...  about the racial make-up of the school...  that school is in Gretna.  Depending on which part of Gretna, she may live in Jefferson Parish.  There are no all black schools over there--NONE!  She'd have to drive into the city everyday to get an all black school.


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## HappilyLiberal

OK...  I was looking for the school's address...  the media is on it.  She'll be back in school in a few days.  Oh, and this is something they just sprung on these families.  There are multiple pictures of black girls with braided extensions.  Including one student of the month and one cheerleader!


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## dyh080

HappilyLiberal said:


> It 's not just a matter of  style and convenience.  Braids are a great protective style and can help her avoid all kinds of unnecessary damage.
> 
> Oh...  about the racial make-up of the school...  that school is in Gretna.  Depending on which part of Gretna, she may live in Jefferson Parish.  There are no all black schools over there--NONE!  She'd have to drive into the city everyday to get an all black school.



A nice "protective style" for little girls is to braid their OWN hair...no extensions.
I must be too old but when I was growing up  every little black girl in my school wore what we called plaits. 
Some mothers plaited the hair every day, others less frequently.  No fake crap hanging off of our heads.  Most of us had nice thick hair as a result.


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## CurlyNiquee

I personally wouldn’t put extensions in my daughters hair. Just braid her own hair (hopefully it’s healthy and long enough) and invest in a good swimming cap. However I still think this is BS, for whom was this policy created? Clearly humiliating to that little girl and could have been handled differently.


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## HappilyLiberal

HappilyLiberal said:


> This school is part of the archdiocese of New Orleans.  Her mother can get this resolved with one phone call to (1) the media and (2) the Archdiocesan Catholic schools office.  They have spent the better part of the past four years getting all of the Catholic schools on the same page about school policies.  Plus, they have been ticking off the black Catholic population.  They do not want this headache.  She'll be back in school--with her extensions--within three days!
> 
> Imma see if I can find the mom's contact info.  If anyone has it please post.




OK...  Maybe not.  The black superintendent of schools in the Archdiocese has released a statement supporting the school.  She has three choices...  (1) sue the school and hope she wins, (2) take the braids out, or (3) move her child to a public school or private school that allows the extensions.  I'd probably opt for #3  There are some very good pre-AP and IB Middle Years programs in the public schools in Jefferson parish.


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## ThirdEyeBeauty

I need to see how the other girls have to wear their hair.


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## aminata

I'd like to know why the policy was created---to humiliate young black girls?  Seems like it targeted for a certain demographic.


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## HappilyLiberal

Oh...  and this is the black superintendent of schools who co-signed this mess...


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## Cheleigh

If I had to guess, I think this girl got caught up in something that wasn't even her fault. I'd bet that last year some other kids' hair was off the chain and the school considered it distracting. My own daughter stuck a small pink clip-on in her hair for TK promotion, so I can only imagine.  So they made a blanket rule and although her hair is perfectly fine, this is how blanket draconian rules work. They could just have made a rule that banned the more outrageous colors or ones of a certain length. If I were here parents, I'd find a new school.

And as an aside, we don't know that the girl was publicly humiliated. Maybe they called her into the office and told her that her hair now violated the rules. The brother was the one who put the sister on blast.


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## aminata

Time to put the superintendent on blast.


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## dicapr

dyh080 said:


> A nice "protective style" for little girls is to braid their OWN hair...no extensions.
> I must be too old but when I was growing up  every little black girl in my school wore what we called plaits.
> Some mothers plaited the hair every day, others less frequently.  No fake crap hanging off of our heads.  Most of us had nice thick hair as a result.



You are right. When I was growing up you hardly ever saw I child with extentions in their hair. We wore our own hair in plats, braids, puffs ect and it grew just fine. Extensions are used so the style last longer not because it is a necessity to grow or protect black hair. Growing up our hair was done on the regular basis (braided once a week) and freshened up mid week to keep us looking neat. Plats were done daily. Women don’t want/have the time for that now so they put extensions in their daughter’s hair. 

I really don’t like the idea that black women need to wear hair other than our own. I don’t think the policy is unreasonable. I see so many young girls with heavy weave and their edges hanging on for dear life due to extensions I really hate to see them in young girls hair. My only issue is that parents were not given timely notice on the school policy change. Some parents had already spent good money on getting their child’s hair done for school and I can see the outrage in that.


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## nyeredzi

I don't think schools in nearly all black countries are a good comparison. The context is really different. It's not like the private schools in the US are going to make the white girls shave their heads. It'll just be the black girls who have no hair.

Extensions are functional for black girls and their hair when it comes to swimming. And places that don't like black people's hair probably don't like cornrows either.


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## lesedi

Mothers aren't lazy for not wanting to do their daughter's hair every night. Can mothers live please???

If you have a tenderheaded 4b child please back me up


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## qchelle

lesedi said:


> Mothers aren't lazy for not wanting to so their daughter's hair every night. Can mothers live please???
> 
> If you have a tenderheaded 4b child please back me up



Also, most mothers work outside the home today.  Unlike 30+ yrs ago, when they had more time.

I can't believe people are defending this policy by saying 'black girls shouldn't wear extensions anyway'. What does this have to do with anything? Especially since the principal said 'they're swinging it and things like that'. You've gotta be kidding me. All white girls do is swing their hair.... because they can't help it cuz their hair naturally swings. So are they making them cut their hair off?


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## momi

Crackers Phinn said:


> Dr. Umar said no weave would be allowed at his _*magical mythical school*_.



well then


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## momi

dyh080 said:


> A nice "protective style" for little girls is to braid their OWN hair...no extensions.
> I must be too old but when I was growing up  every little black girl in my school wore what we called plaits.
> Some mothers plaited the hair every day, others less frequently.  No fake crap hanging off of our heads.  Most of us had nice thick hair as a result.



You know you do have a point - I never remember seeing any of my friends with weave.  We sat between somebody's knees and had our hair braided.  Some of my best memories are spending time with my grandmother while she braided my hair. Maybe that's why most of the women in my family still have our edges.


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## Cattypus1

This should be on the news along with the picture of the school and the enrollment numbers. These colonizers need to stop trying to colonize and leave these children alone!  I had a similar experience with braids with my own hair in high school . I can’t believe this crap still happens!


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## Everything Zen

lesedi said:


> Mothers aren't lazy for not wanting to do their daughter's hair every night. Can mothers live please???
> 
> If you have a tenderheaded 4b child please back me up



OH GOD!!!! 

I was so tenderheaded- but well behaved. I used to put up with it, but this post just triggered PTSD. When they were done with my hair I used to have to take a pain pill. My hair was so thick they'd wash it dry and get to styling only to find soap still in in- and this could happen at some professional shops too!!! 

One time- I hid my mom's keys so we would miss the weekly appointment for that press n' curl. 

I wore braids with extensions in the summers because I was a highly active child. Swimming, competitive gymnast (and look how much flack Gabby got over her hair) and track all without a relaxer) just a press n' curl until undergrad.  

All I wanted to do was live and not worry about my hair.


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## Kanky

lesedi said:


> Mothers aren't lazy for not wanting to do their daughter's hair every night. Can mothers live please???
> 
> If you have a tenderheaded 4b child please back me up



Of course they aren’t lazy.  And braids still have to be washed, conditioned, moisturized and dried after swimming. They just aren’t combing and rebraiding hair several times a week.


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## dicapr

lesedi said:


> Mothers aren't lazy for not wanting to do their daughter's hair every night. Can mothers live please???
> 
> If you have a tenderheaded 4b child please back me up



I don’t think anyone is lazy but they are looking for convenience. Before extentions were mainstream little girls hair was done one the regular basis. Tender headed or not. 

I actually think that regular maintenance made it easier to do. My hair wasn’t nearly as tangled getting it done weekly/bi-weekly then when it was when I started detangling less frequently. Even when I went natural after becoming an adult I found my hair was easier to manage with regular detangling than leaving it be.


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## Kanky

There was a thread a while back about black people drowning and how so many black children can’t swim. Some of that is about money and access to a pool, but the inconvenience of having to redo kinky hair daily is also a factor. If braid extensions help black girls swim several times a week then that’s a convenience worth fighting for.  

I personally have never had a swim cap that didn’t leak a little but maybe I’ve never found a good one. 

But anyway these comments criticizing braid extensions are an excellent example of the obsession with policing black hair that I posted about initially. A mother does what works best for her situation with her daughter’s hair and suddenly she’s a lazy mother who is giving her kid low self esteem and bald edges.  And this on a hair forum where people should know better.


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## lesedi

dicapr said:


> I don’t think anyone is lazy but they are looking for convenience. Before extentions were mainstream little girls hair was done one the regular basis. Tender headed or not.
> 
> I actually think that regular maintenance made it easier to do. My hair wasn’t nearly as tangled getting it done weekly/bi-weekly then when it was when I started detangling less frequently. Even when I went natural after becoming an adult I found my hair was easier to manage with regular detangling than leaving it be.


Yes they are looking for convenience. What's wrong with that though? 

  Also as @Kanky mentioned, the hair is still getting done regularly, just not rebraided daily. And these are age appropriate styles, I just don't get it.


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## Brwnbeauti

Braided extensions shouldn’t be allowed on little girls? Y’all are tripping. This appears to be grade school. 
I understand rules about length and color. 
I’d like to see the rest of their code of conduct...


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## dicapr

lesedi said:


> Yes they are looking for convenience. What's wrong with that though?
> 
> Also as @Kanky mentioned, the hair is still getting done regularly, just not rebraided daily. And these are age appropriate styles, I just don't get it.



I don’t have an issue with people doing things that convenience but people are acting as if not using extensions is a hardship or discrimination against black women. That’s not the case. Extentions make life easier and that is why the parents are mad. 

We don’t need fake hair nor is it some kind of hardship to have black little girls feel good about themselves and their hair without extensions.


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## Jasmataz

Kanky said:


> *But anyway these comments criticizing braid extensions are an excellent example of the obsession with policing black hair *that I posted about initially. A mother does what works best for her situation with her daughter’s hair and suddenly she’s a lazy mother who is giving her kid low self esteem and bald edges.  And this on a hair forum where people should know better.



 Pretty much.


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## momi

I'm sure students having basic braided styles has not been a problem in the past.  More than likely, other students started pushing the envelope with extravagant weaved out styles and the school was forced to draw the line. 

It's unfortunate that everyone suffers in these types of situations.  

The policy has to apply for everyone across the board because otherwise parents would complain that the policy was not enforced fairly.  One bad apple can spoil the whole bunch.


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## Kanky

dicapr said:


> I don’t have an issue with people doing things that convenience but people are acting as if not using extensions is a hardship or discrimination against black women. That’s not the case. Extentions make life easier and that is why the parents are mad.
> 
> We don’t need fake hair nor is it some kind of hardship to have black little girls feel good about themselves and their hair without extensions.



Extensions let a tenderheaded 4b use the pool with the same ease and frequency as a 1a without having to spend hours “sitting between someone’s knees” and having her hair done after every swim. I would count hours of haircare daily and not being able to swim as often as I wanted as a hardship. The extensions aren’t necessary for self esteem but not spending all your free time on hair care might be.

We swim several times a week. I wet my 4a hair, saturate it with conditioner and use swim cap then rinse afterwards and do a wash and go. I use a chelating shampoo every week or so.  I can do this because I can wash and go and because I am a SAHM so my hair can be doing whatever. This routine doesn’t work for my 4b friend who can’t wash and go and has to work the next day, so she rarely joins us in the pool. 

It isn’t that black girls need fake hair, it is that we need to be left alone to decide what makes sense for our hair and lifestyles without other people acting as the hair police. The policing, obsessing and criticizing is a lot more damaging to self esteem than some extensions could ever be.


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## yamilee21

No Catholic institution is in a position right now to further alienate anyone. Catholic schools are closing down or consolidating everywhere throughout the United States, yet the Diocese of New Orleans finds the time to create and double-down on the pettiest of superficial rules? Maybe at another time, this would just be an inconvenient rule, but with what just came out of Pennsylvania, and similar reports forthcoming for other areas, this incident is spectacularly tone-deaf.


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## dicapr

Kanky said:


> Extensions let a tenderheaded 4b use the pool with the same ease and frequency as a 1a without having to spend hours “sitting between someone’s knees” and having her hair done after every swim. I would count hours of haircare daily and not being able to swim as often as I wanted as a hardship. The extensions aren’t necessary for self esteem but not spending all your free time on hair care might be.
> 
> We swim several times a week. I wet my 4a hair, saturate it with conditioner and use swim cap then rinse afterwards and do a wash and go. I use a chelating shampoo every week or so.  I can do this because I can wash and go and because I am a SAHM so my hair can be doing whatever. This routine doesn’t work for my 4b friend who can’t wash and go and has to work the next day, so she rarely joins us in the pool.
> 
> It isn’t that black girls need fake hair, it is that we need to be left alone to decide what makes sense for our hair and lifestyles without other people acting as the hair police. The policing, obsessing and criticizing is a lot more damaging to self esteem than some extensions could ever be.



Hair gets policed period. My job has axed some white girl friendly styles too. That’s life. To me the idea that 4b can’t wash and go is foreign because my friend was able to do wash and go’s with short 4b hair but I’ll take your word for it. I’m 4a/4b and could wash and go with short hair but not long. I still washed on the regular and had a wet bun.


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## Kanky

yamilee21 said:


> No Catholic institution is in a position right now to further alienate anyone. Catholic schools are closing down or consolidating everywhere throughout the United States, yet the Diocese of New Orleans finds the time to create and double-down on the pettiest of superficial rules? Maybe at another time, this would just be an inconvenient rule, but with what just came out of Pennsylvania, and similar reports forthcoming for other areas, this incident is spectacularly tone-deaf.


Yeah, I am side eyeing parents for continuing to allow these people access to their children. There is clearly a long standing culture of allowing children to abused and protecting the abusers. This is at least the third time that they’ve been caught covering up large numbers of abused children.

They need to be rolling out new rules that will keep the kids from being molested instead of worrying about braids.


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## Kanky

dicapr said:


> Hair gets policed period. My job has axed some white girl friendly styles too. That’s life. To me the idea that 4b can’t wash and go is foreign because my friend was able to do wash and go’s with short 4b hair but I’ll take your word for it. I’m 4a/4b and could wash and go with short hair but not long. I still washed on the regular and had a wet bun.


 Don’t take my word for it. I hear there’s a whole hair forum with black women talking about their hair struggles. 

As far white girl hair policing goes, sometimes people need equity, not equality. Banning extensions has a very different effect on white women’s hair situation. If someone banned sunscreen at an outdoor pool then most black people would be fine, or at least a lot less inconvenienced by the ban than white people who would have to use the pool a lot less because of the rule change. The braid extension thing is kind of like that.  Black people get cheated a lot by rules that look fair on the surface but have a disparate impact.


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## bellatiamarie

@Kanky because thanks just was not enough sis.


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## Reinventing21

@Kanky I didn' t know where to begin on this topic, but you hit all the nails


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## dicapr

Kanky said:


> Don’t take my word for it. I hear there’s a whole hair forum with black women talking about their hair struggles.
> 
> As far white girl hair policing goes, sometimes people need equity, not equality. Banning extensions has a very different effect on white women’s hair situation. If someone banned sunscreen at an outdoor pool then most black people would be fine, or at least a lot less inconvenienced by the ban than white people who would have to use the pool a lot less because of the rule change. The braid extension thing is kind of like that.  Black people get cheated a lot by rules that look fair on the surface but have a disparate impact.



We will agree to disagree. I am just tired of the narrative that our hair difficult, needs special consideration ect. You can wear box braids sans extentions and wash and care for your hair in that manner. My niece was able to maintain mid-back hair taking swimming lessons doing this.  No extra hair just her own hair box braided.

I’ve worn and enjoyed extentions in my hair so I’m not anti-extentions. But I just can’t get behind the idea that we need,must, alter our hair in some way for it to be presentable.  I don’t see the policy as anti-black hair. I think it is very pro-black hair. It basically reinforces the idea that our hair doesn’t need to be covered or added to in order to be presentable.

 I was at a wedding this weekend and more than half of the women there had some type of fake hair on their heads. It’s just getting sad to me. But so many don’t see the issue with it. We are sending a subtitle message that black hair is needs to be covered or enhanced in someway just to be presentable.

ETA- My taking your word for it had nothing to do with black hair struggles. It was in reference to 4bs not being able to do wash and go’s. To me wash and go is a short to medium length thing. I don’t know to many long haired naturals that wash and go on the regular.


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## dyh080

dicapr said:


> We will agree to disagree. I am just tired of the narrative that our hair difficult, needs special consideration ect. You can wear box braids sans extentions and wash and care for your hair in that manner. My niece was able to maintain mid-back hair taking swimming lessons doing this.  No extra hair just her own hair box braided.
> 
> I’ve worn and enjoyed extentions in my hair so I’m not anti-extentions. But I just can’t get behind the idea that we need,must, alter our hair in some way for it to be presentable.  I don’t see the policy as anti-black hair. *I think it is very pro-black hair. It basically reinforces the idea that our hair doesn’t need to be covered or added to in order to be presentable*.
> 
> I was at a wedding this weekend and more than half of the women there had some type of fake hair on their heads. It’s just getting sad to me. But so many don’t see the issue with it. We are sending a subtitle message that black hair is needs to be covered or enhanced in someway just to be presentable.
> 
> ETA- My taking your word for it had nothing to do with black hair struggles. It was in reference to 4bs not being able to do wash and go’s. To me wash and go is a short to medium length thing. I don’t know to many long haired naturals that wash and go on the regular.




Thank you, especially for the bolded. People need to stop emotionally "affecting" the self esteem young Black girls with the idea that their hair alone is enough. 

Little girls can wear plaits(yes we don't hear that word much anymore) and look beautiful in their own hair.  If not, as you say, wash and go work very well. Swimming, vacations, roller coasters, you name it.  No problem. And it can be done without tangles, contrary to popular excuses.


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## LiftedUp

dicapr said:


> We will agree to disagree. I am just tired of the narrative that our hair difficult, needs special consideration ect. You can wear box braids sans extentions and wash and care for your hair in that manner. My niece was able to maintain mid-back hair taking swimming lessons doing this. No extra hair just her own hair box braided.



I'm confused as well. Extensions were not allowed in school when I was growing up and I have 4b hair and took swimming classes.  Many girls wore mini braids or cornrows and washed and conditioned in those styles after swimming. In fact, those who went on to swim competitively kept their hair natural vs using a relaxer. My mother chose to redo my 4b hair every day (swim class or not) and yes she was a working mother. She had me soak my hair every morning in the shower if anyone is wondering, to help detangle, towel dried, greased and plaited.

I do not like the connotation that black girls need extensions to have "manageable" hair. Our hair care routine just differs.


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## Reinventing21

It is tricky because I agree with @Kanky and @dicapr at the same time. I completely agree that girls should NOT be made to feel as though their hair NEEDS fake hair to be acceptable. I too find it sad when I see in certain spaces all the girls wearing fake shiny overly straight hair especially when more realistic hair is available. I absolutely hate the term 'good hair' when referring to hair other than type 4. I also think it is abusive when I see girls in pain and agony just to get their own hair and/ or extensions braided.

The distinction I make though in this scenario is that I think the Black community alone needs to decide what is acceptable in school, the work place etc. I am tired of the idea of what is acceptable has to be based on something white or approved by whites to be validated.

There should be flexibility allowed. Not everyone is skilled in braiding or styling any kind of hair. Maybe the mom has a young baby and works. Maybe the child is involved in lots of extracurricular activities that further limit time in addition to having a ton of homework (kids these have more homework and longer days thsn ever). Maybe the girl suffered a hair setback and needs a protective style that will help the child's esteem while her hair grows back. There are so many reasons why a person may choose a braided style with extra hair. I am not good at doing hair. I have very dense thick awesome hair, no matter the length etc. When I have gotten braids, I got extra hair added so that the style would last longer, my own hair would be protected and for fun. Also my sched would not allow me to be able to spend washing /conditioning/ rebraiding hair everyday.

I have grown up around all kinds of people and best believe there is always a desire (from non black women) to keep black women feeling bad about their hair. That is why I recoil when others make decisions that should be made collectively  by Black people only.

I wonder what would happen if the girl showed up with her hair braided with hair that matched exactly her own hair but was bra strap length.  Would they assume the girl had fake hair because Black girls "can't grow/have long hair"? How far would they go to prove it?

Ok after all that rambling lol, I am sure there is someone who can better express what I am trying to say. TIA


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## luckiestdestiny

Makenzie said:


> Nothing was wrong with her hair! Absolutely. Nothing!! Completely age appropriate and totally low maintenance.  Poor thing to find out the first day of school there is a new policy.  Schools send out notices beforehand as to what the children will need for the upcoming school year.  Why wasn't this included BEFOREHAND?  Yes, this is school policy, but why has the school changed the policy?  They took no consideration of their current student attendees and how it would affect them.  I can see placing a limit on length, color, or even having portions of your head shaved off.  However, this is absolutely ridiculous.  As someone mentioned earlier, how do they even know that's not her hair.  It looks very natural.
> 
> Yes, in other cultures/countries it may be customary to shave a girls head, but that is not the custom over here.  A young girl taking swimming finds it much easier to maintain her hair during that semester with some sort of added hair.  And let's be real, extensions has the connotation of white woman getting clip ons of long flowy  hair.  What this child has is braids.  Yeah, I get extensions covers that, but still.
> 
> The answer is not an easy 'just go to another school'.  This child's education has been interrupted through no fault of her own or her parents.  This was a deliberate tactic used by the school.  She has consistently been in braids prior, and the school changed the policy and did not notify anyone until the first day of school.  I bet the school notified the parents how much various fees were, and what supplies were needed FOR THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.  Sorry this just made me really hot!  Today is not the day.


All of this. Seeing that poor baby crying over this b.s has me .  They knew exactly what they were doing. And they waited, in order to make an example out of her in front of others for their own entertainment imo.


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## luckiestdestiny

Reinventing21 said:


> It is tricky because I agree with @Kanky and @dicapr at the same time. I completely agree that girls should NOT be made to feel as though their hair NEEDS fake hair to be acceptable. I too find it sad when I see in certain spaces all the girls wearing fake shiny overly straight hair especially when more realistic hair is available. I absolutely hate the term 'good hair' when referring to hair other than type 4. I also think it is abusive when I see girls in pain and agony just to get their own hair and/ or extensions braided.
> 
> The distinction I make though in this scenario is that I think the Black community alone needs to decide what is acceptable in school, the work place etc. I am tired of the idea of what is acceptable has to be based on something white or approved by whites to be validated.
> 
> There should be flexibility allowed. Not everyone is skilled in braiding or styling any kind of hair. Maybe the mom has a young baby and works. Maybe the child is involved in lots of extracurricular activities that further limit time in addition to having a ton of homework (kids these have more homework and longer days thsn ever). Maybe the girl suffered a hair setback and needs a protective style that will help the child's esteem while her hair grows back. There are so many reasons why a person may choose a braided style with extra hair. I am not good at doing hair. I have very dense thick awesome hair, no matter the length etc. When I have gotten braids, I got extra hair added so that the style would last longer, my own hair would be protected and for fun. Also my sched would not allow me to be able to spend washing /conditioning/ rebraiding hair everyday.
> 
> I have grown up around all kinds of people and best believe there is always a desire (from non black women) to keep black women feeling bad about their hair. That is why I recoil when others make decisions that should be made collectively  by Black people only.
> 
> I wonder what would happen if the girl showed up with her hair braided with hair that matched exactly her own hair but was bra strap length.  Would they assume the girl had fake hair because Black girls "can't grow/have long hair"? How far would they go to prove it?
> 
> Ok after all that rambling lol, I am sure there is someone who can better express what I am trying to say. TIA



I understand what you're saying and agree. Also, I am wondering how they would_ know_ that she has extensions anyways? What are they doing, going around analyzing kid's hair daily? How could they prove it? I swear I would blink at them as a parent because_ how_ do you know? Are they assuming that a specific length = extensions? How exactly is this rule applied? What embarrassment and torment has the child gone through in order for these so called teachers to "assess" who has fake or real hair: Individual braid inspections? Unraveling of braid and/or braids in front of the class?  How exactly does one come to the conclusion that a child has extensions in order to make a judgement call on all of this?  This is why I think that rule in particular is ridiculous.

Then there are things like sick children. Are we regulating which child can wear scalp prosthesis (that's what it's called when you wear extensions  and/ or wigs and you're sick medically speaking  as both partial and complete extensions and wigs are approved for this particular use medically and by health insurance) because they have cancer or some other illness that has caused hair loss? What about those with autoimmune alopecia (among many other diseases that can cause hair loss in addition to cancer)? Now they have to be subjected to further insult and inspection of their hair because of some ridiculous rules.  This is just going too far. Hair is a sensitive subject, and even more so when it comes to the needs of each community, coupled with the "special needs" that may need to be accounted for as well such as what I mentioned. It is not always about "pride", nor is there a reason to use judgement on others and look down on other people's hair practices which should be left up to the individual to decide.  No one knows what is going on in someone's world unless they live it.

Now deciding perhaps basic styles, I'm okay with for uniform purposes as long as they take into account racial "sensitivities" because we are individuals (things like maybe saying no purple hair, etc). Not everyone is alike and their hair is not going to be anyways.  But deciding on other factors is going too far (extensions, weaves, wigs. etc).


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## luckiestdestiny

0


qchelle said:


> Also, most mothers work outside the home today.  Unlike 30+ yrs ago, when they had more time.
> 
> I can't believe people are defending this policy by saying 'black girls shouldn't wear extensions anyway'. What does this have to do with anything? Especially since the principal said 'they're swinging it and things like that'. You've gotta be kidding me. All white girls do is swing their hair.... because they can't help it cuz their hair naturally swings. So are they making them cut their hair off?




I remember a girl who used to blow her bangs. She was white, should we cut them off  ? What a distraction! _Blow them_ over and over and over.   and it was in fifth grade. I just came from Germany and wondered if it was an American white girl thing   because I'd never seen that before from other wgs in Europe. She was actually the most popular girl too so a lot of other girls started doing the blowing bang thing too.  I watched this with utter fascination but refused to participate because it was just_ odd.  So they_ were blowing away with these bangs but only those whose bangs blew because there was another black girl who was her friend and the poor thing tried to blow her bangs but they were too stiff to flutter like they should. It was sad because she couldn't do the subtle blow, she had to blow_ hard_  and those bangs still weren't moving much  .

Ah memories.

But yeah, wg s will play in their hair, pick at split ends, flip their hair incessantly,_ braid and rebraid their hair_ when it unravels, and the whole blow their bangs thing (haven't seen it anywhere else) ...but regardless of what white girls did in school, they definitely were playing in their hair all the time. So I do think the policy is racist and a way to focus in on black kids.  What are they doing to stop the distraction of wgs and their hair?_  Unless_ they're asking them to put their hair in struggle braids and bobby pin them down so they don't move, or some other bun that is untouched...there is discrimination going on and they are inconsiderate to the needs of others. _ AND again as I asked in a_ previous thread, how do they know that we are wearing extensions anyways? Why are they so fixated on hair extensions and how are they a disruption?  With all the clipins out there, I'm pretty certain wgs are wearing some as well.  I can't let a pass happen because someone in charge is black, they may say some of the things said here where people aren't considering the needs of others that may fall outside of their understanding (health, race, the fact that we're all different with different needs)...or they may just be the type who makes your life more difficult and want to regulate the black community despite_ being_ black:




Who knows their reasons? Whatever they are, they are problematic and don't take into consideration special nuances that are necessary.


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## Southernbella.

I'm confused...braid extensions aren't like lacefronts or buttlength weaves. Braid extensions are less about vanity and more about extending the life of a style (with length/added thickness being a bonus).

I hate weave and always have but wouldn't hesitate to add hair for a braided style because dd has fine hair that slips out of every single braid or twist within 24 hours.


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## Everything Zen

If people would mind their own business this would be much ado about nothing. I wear wigs bc of the corporate environment I’m in and my life is consumed by my work and school. It is what it is- there are way too many other hills out there in the professional landscape just waiting for me to die on. I don’t have the energy to devote to the natural hair one at this time in my life. I have no problem being natural underneath with cornrows. I have worn the same short bob for years bc I don’t want any attention about my hair. I want people to focus on what a great job I do at work. Whenever I do get my hair done people lose their minds instead of just making a comment acknowledging it and moving on. Honestly- it’s exhausting and I’m less inclined to want to make any changes.


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## luckiestdestiny

Southernbella. said:


> I'm confused...braid extensions aren't like lacefronts or buttlength weaves. Braid extensions are less about vanity and more about extending the life of a style (with length/added thickness being a bonus).
> 
> I hate weave and always have but wouldn't hesitate to add hair for a braided style because dd has fine hair that slips out of every single braid or twist within 24 hours.


Even wigs aren't about vanity when you have health issues. It's about a sense of normalcy and for the patient, to not look "sick" for mental health reasons so that they can fight things easier. When you look sick, you feel sick, and your morale goes down (see articles such as restoring hair raises spirits ,etc https://rapidcityjournal.com/news/s...cle_990b44be-2619-50f4-a510-0c958f8256eb.html ) . This is the reason that insurance companies now approve things like breast implants when you have breasts removed for cancer, or wigs, when your hair falls out from too much prednisone (for whatever illness), or you need some type of extension added as your hair thinned out from xyz.  As long as it can be documented and approved by the doctor for a reasonable chronic illness, it can be approved. Who knows what some poor kid may go through just to get these things approved in the first place and now they have to be subjected to even more scrutiny by teachers judging their level of vanity.  So I'd say they don't have a right to judge any type of hair additions if they look like regular hair. If they look like space ships, or green goblins, or whatever else people do to add accessories to their hair...then that's another story and should not be allowed. But just basic wigs,weaves? How dare they try to scrutinize these children and_ judge_ who is worthy and who isn't while I'm sure some WG skips off with added clip in extensions to her next class and no one is the wiser.

Teenagers with clipins that I'm sure won't be inspected:






Little girls with wigs that will go uninspected while we're meanwhile sent home saying that we are about vanity and what not




This is from wigs for kids to put things into perspective for various health reasons when their hair comes out. They also do extensions and partial wigs too because sometimes only one section comes out, or a section is now stronger and growing back, but hasn't caught up with the rest and for whatever reason they didn't want to buzz it all off again for the millionth time (sometimes their hair falls out and grows back in and so on depending on the condition so it's not just about buzzing it every time. Sometimes they want a different look other than a bald head).


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## Reinventing21

^^^^ @luckiestdestiny  lol. I had to dance once in a show. Due to health stuff my own hair was not doing well so I decided to wear a wig for the first time. I only convinced myself because I had just worn one for Halloween and everyone just thought it was my hair.

Anyhoo, when we were getting ready for the show, I was feeling subconscious about the wig while I was watching this Asian girl get ready. Suddenly she whips out some clip ins which I had never seen before in life and clips them in her hair like a pro, explaining she wanted her hair to be fuller! I was so surprised lol.

All this to say that it is racist as &&@# in the 21st century to assume only Blacks have added hair.


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## Farida

I grew up in Kenya and my school was all-black. We were not allowed individual braids or weaves. Only cornrows or your hair in a ponytail.

 But in mixed race company it easily leads to disparate treatment for blacks. A form of discrimination.


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## Kanky

Reinventing21 said:


> It is tricky because I agree with @Kanky and @dicapr at the same time. I completely agree that girls should NOT be made to feel as though their hair NEEDS fake hair to be acceptable. I too find it sad when I see in certain spaces all the girls wearing fake shiny overly straight hair especially when more realistic hair is available. I absolutely hate the term 'good hair' when referring to hair other than type 4.



I’ve been natural for over 20 years. I’m not sure what spaces you are talking about, but the idea that black girls “need” fake hair or that there is something wrong with type 4 natural hair isn’t very prevalent any more. I see more natural kinky hair than weave and relaxers in almost every space. I went from having strangers either come over to  compliment me on my hair or ask me why I don’t have a relaxer to being the norm for black women. From having to make my own products and order from niche shops online to being able to meet all of my natural care needs in any major store.

In 2018 a “no extensions” policy isn’t needed to build self esteem, or to teach girls to embrace their natural hair. We’ve fought and won that battle. At this point the no extensions policy is just inconveniencing busy mothers (who would slap a relaxer on if they hadn’t already embraced natural hair) and keeping little girls from being able to swim without having to scheduling hours of haircare afterwards. The policy is unnecessary hair policing by control freaks and weirdos who are projecting their issues with black hair on to other people.


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## Reinventing21

@Kanky   You are right that natural hair is definitely more prevalent and that there are more examples of gorgeous type 4 hair than ever before everywhere in real life and in media.  Also, less talk of good vs bad hair. Forums like this one have done societal wonders over the years. 

But, being on this board has made me forget that there really are still sects that cling to the fake shiny glued on my nappy hair is bad mentality. I sadly have seen it in real life in beauty stores for example. I do have hope though that eventually knowledge will reach everyone.


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## Everything Zen

^^^^ I think it’s an issue/mentality that you have to continuously protect and fight for lest all the gains that have been won will eventually be lost. Due diligence is needed- but this school’s policy is not the answer. Let’s continue to target these Asian beauty supply shops and focus on other ways to move forward.


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## Brwnbeauti




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## HappilyLiberal

Brwnbeauti said:


>



I was about to come post this.  With all the other crap going on in the Archdiocese--and multiple Archdioceses quite honestly--they are going to have to step in and resolve this to get it out of the media.  I still wouldn't send my kid back there!


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## HappilyLiberal

See...  these white folks would prefer to see these black children gone...


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## Reinventing21

Not all rules are right. Not all laws are right. Laws and rules that did/do nothing but denigrade, demoralize, dehumanize a race of people had and still have to be changed. This is the 21st century. Get over yourselves. Everyone (Almost everyone) else has. 

So simple. The end.


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## luckiestdestiny

Brwnbeauti said:


>


 Thank goodness to common sense.  Good job judge!   It is obvious that this is a way to police black children, specifically girls. I'm pretty certain that wgs are walking around flipping their extensions and none the wiser:

_The school says 11-year-old Faith Kennedyand another girl were removed from class and accused of violating a rule that prohibits “extensions, wigs and hairpieces of any kind.” The lawsuit against the school accuses the institution of discrimination, claiming the policy has a “disparate impact” on black female students.
________________________________________

The lawsuit also says that only black girls have been inspected and punished for wearing extensions. The families believe the school’s policy could result in-read more at TheShadeRoom.com._


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## Sharpened

New Orleans Archdiocese says school's hair extension policy that sent girl home crying has been rescinded
by Associated Press / Aug.27.2018 / 9:24 PM ET
NEW ORLEANS — A Catholic school official said Monday that a suburban New Orleans school has rescinded its policy forbidding hair extensions.
But it remains unclear whether a sixth-grader who left school in tears last week after running afoul of the rule will return to Christ the King school.
Video of Faith Fennidy dejectedly walking out of school last week drew accusations that the rule targeted black students. A state judge blocked enforcement of the rule after the families of Faith and another girl, Tyrielle Davis, filed suit.

A lawyer for the Fennidy family, James Williams, and officials with the archdiocese said last week they would meet on Monday. But a statement from RaeNell Houston, the superintendent Archdiocese of New Orleans schools, says the family postponed, then canceled the meeting. Emails to the Williams' law firm were not immediately returned Monday night.
Houston's statement said Fennidy's family, and the family of Tyrielle Davis, another student who joined in a lawsuit over the policy, were told last week that Christ the King's hair extension policy had been rescinded.

"When this issue arose, the school immediately reviewed its policy and recognized that there may have been sensitivities that needed to be addressed," Houston's statement said. "They then reached out for input from the Office of Catholic Schools, the Office of Black Catholic Ministries, other principals, and parents."
Houston said she will work with school officials to "create a uniform policy that is sensitive to all races, religions, and cultures."
The video that sparked the controversy went virile after Faith's brother posted it on Facebook. He included an explanation that there were practical reasons for Faith's use of extensions.


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## HappilyLiberal

Sharpened said:


> "When this issue arose, the school immediately reviewed its policy and recognized that there may have been sensitivities that needed to be addressed," Houston's statement said. "They then reached out for input from the Office of Catholic Schools, the Office of Black Catholic Ministries, other principals, and parents."
> Houston said she will work with school officials to "create a uniform policy that is sensitive to all races, religions, and cultures."



Why didn't they stop to think maybe we messed up as they were sending that child home in tears???

ETA:  And they clearly didn't "immediately" review the policy; otherwise the child would not have been sent home in tears!


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## KimPossibli

rules are rules....

nah there is something wrong in the water..

who is putting up that sign for a little gurls age appropriate hair... 

slavery was a ****ing rule too


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