# Warning to Ministers, their wives and mistresses



## momi (Aug 27, 2009)

http://www.essence.com/news_enterta...ednesday-MinistersandMistress-txtlink2&Page=1

New book by Dr. Betty Price (wife of Pastor Fred Price)

What say you?


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## mscocoface (Aug 27, 2009)

The only way to solve an issue is to expose it for what it is.

No one has spoken out like she has about the subject I'd say it is about time.  I know of a few women who have joined a church just to get at the minister and I call them on it pronto. 

To hear them say God lead me to him.....don't get me started.  It gets real raw when the minister is single.  Ohh man the stories I could tell with that one.

Expose it, talk about it, solve it, figure it out.

JMHO


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## aribell (Aug 27, 2009)

Interesting, though the article didn't go into what her book was going to say.  I want to know what words she has for people wrapped up in this kind of thing.

The fact that some people think that pastors being unfaithful is just the way things are is sad to hear.


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## Prudent1 (Aug 27, 2009)

Wow puts me in the mind of that thread Shimmie started about witchcraft and how the enemy sends women in to seduce men at church. That's not the only reference I've had to things like that lately either.  All of us must be vigilant!


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## Highly Favored8 (Aug 27, 2009)

All I will say that this is all too real.


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## nicey (Aug 27, 2009)

Prudent1 said:


> Wow puts me in the mind of that thread Shimmie started about witchcraft and how the enemy sends women in to seduce men at church. That's not the only reference I've had to things like that lately either.  *All of us must be vigilant*!


 


You are so right.


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## LatterGlory (Aug 27, 2009)

Eph 5:11-16
(11)  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
(12)  For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
(13)  But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
(14)  Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.
(15)  See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
(16)  Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.


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## Shimmie (Aug 27, 2009)

momi said:


> http://www.essence.com/news_enterta...ednesday-MinistersandMistress-txtlink2&Page=1
> 
> New book by Dr. Betty Price (wife of Pastor Fred Price)
> 
> What say you?


 
   

When confronted with such; _ "My Soul is not for sale"._


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Aug 27, 2009)

I'm wondering why it has taken so long to come out.  There are women seducing pastors who have taken the vow of chastity.  I read about one today while I waiting for my car to be repaired.  I was super shocked with this one because he, Cuban and uber traditional community, married a divorced women (who knows if she had an annulment from her previous..and how many divorces...wouldn't have made it right in the first place), quitting the priesthood and trying to make it all right by changing churches.  I figure, if you believed in the church enough to take a vow of chastity, sacrament of holy orders, you believed in your vocation, period.  What did he not comprehend about "FOREVER?"  He got seduced with her while she was taking communion one day.  Every time he makes "love" to his wife, he's condemning himself cuz he's still a priest.

I know the pressures are there...but then why not go to the Orthodox then???  They're allowed to be married according to eastern tradition and are priests forever and you won't be committing a sin.   I don't get it.  I haven't heard of Pastor Price in a long time.  I might get this book.

Do whatever tho...I guess....but don't be mad when you scandalize the Church and the believers you supposedly were in charge of leading to Jesus.  I'm not against men marrying...I'm against them breaking their vows....either priests against the Church...or protestant pastors against their wives and congregation.  Where's the loyalty and honesty?  Partially nekkid women in church is only 1/2 of it because, afterall, the man who gets caught up in it is responsible for his life.  I'm surprised it took Price (or whomever..was she referring to F. Price?) witnessing his wife leave church to see things straight.


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Aug 27, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> When confronted with such; _ "My Soul is not for sale"._



HUH?  Are they not kosher???  erplexed


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## Netta1 (Aug 27, 2009)

This is why my DH aint counseling no women unless MYSELF and the HOLYSPIRIT are in attendance.


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## momi (Aug 27, 2009)

Netta1 said:


> This is why my DH aint counseling no women unless MYSELF and the HOLYSPIRIT are in attendance.


 

Come on somebody.

I am glad she is shedding light on this issue.  I havent read the book, but if what she shares is biblical I pray it will make someone think twice prior to going down this path.
Unfortunately everyone that enters the church is not there for the same purpose. The wheat and the tares grown up together.  Before God sent my husband an armor bearer immediately after he preached he would hold out his hand for me to come to his side.  Now I just pray (with my eyes open of course).  I left out early a few weeks ago and I was told a young lady came down for prayer with ALL of her boobage out - before she got to him one of the ministers had draped her with a lap cloth.


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## Poohbear (Aug 28, 2009)

I enjoyed reading the article but all I can say is wow... it's sad and disturbing. I've heard a lot of this happening in my own city among black churches. I just hope exposing the behavior brings more awareness to the families of these ministers.


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## Raspberry (Aug 28, 2009)

There will probably be painful fallout from this article but I believe it is timely and necessary for the church to come to terms with its dirty laundry.

The church has to clean house and seek unity if we want to see God manifest His power and work out His purposes through us.  He is coming for a spotless bride...


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## Laela (Aug 28, 2009)

Good read... I so agree with her to just take care of home and your man and let God do the rest. A wife who *knows *she's a good wife has God on her side, and he'll direct her path in dealing with an attack like that on her marriage.

God bless you momie!


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## Laela (Aug 28, 2009)

Which is why it is vital to not rely on the failures of others as an excuse to not go to church or worship God with others. We WILL get distracted if people become the focus. 

*1 Thessalonians 4:11 *




momi said:


> Come on somebody.
> 
> I am glad she is shedding light on this issue.  I havent read the book, but if what she shares is biblical I pray it will make someone think twice prior to going down this path.
> *Unfortunately everyone that enters the church is not there for the same purpose. The wheat and the tares grown up together.*  Before God sent my husband an armor bearer immediately after he preached he would hold out his hand for me to come to his side.  Now I just pray (with my eyes open of course).  I left out early a few weeks ago and I was told a young lady came down for prayer with ALL of her boobage out - before she got to him one of the ministers had draped her with a lap cloth.


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Aug 28, 2009)

momi said:


> Come on somebody.
> 
> I am glad she is shedding light on this issue.  I havent read the book, but if what she shares is biblical I pray it will make someone think twice prior to going down this path.
> Unfortunately *everyone that enters the church is not there for the same purpose. The wheat and the tares grown up together.*  Before God sent my husband an armor bearer immediately after he preached he would hold out his hand for me to come to his side.  Now I just pray (with my eyes open of course).  I left out early a few weeks ago and I was told *a young lady came down for prayer with ALL of her boobage out - before she got to him one of the ministers had draped her with a lap cloth*.



!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Amein.


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## Laela (Aug 28, 2009)

True dat... be vigilant with your marriage. Being Christian doesn't a dumb wife make..  .

I recall a Dr. Price sermon eons ago where he was talking about counseling young women at his church; he went on to say he may be a minister, but he's still a man and one time this super-gorgeous young woman came to him for counsel and he said that his flesh told him to tell her "_Come her, you pretty lil darlin_'" and to give her a "hug"..but he knew better.
Luckily she wasn't one of the ones who threw themselves at the ministers, she was sincerely seeking counsel. 
The prayers of a wife goes beyond the walls of her home. Amen.



Netta1 said:


> This is why my DH aint counseling no women unless MYSELF and the HOLYSPIRIT are in attendance.


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## Raspberry (Aug 28, 2009)

Hmm.. I wonder if too many churches don't encourage members to seek out counsel from leaders of the same gender.  Seems like there's such an emphasis in most churches on how wise the pastor alone is that some folks feel shafted unless they can talk to him personally.  The deacons, teachers, etc need to be known for their leadership and counseling as well. 

My church is large (we are all assigned a specific associate pastor to deal with) but also we focus on everyone being discipled to grow up in the Lord to their fullest potential, so then it becomes apparent that some people are more mature and experienced in the Lord than others.  When I have an issue I seek out strong women of God that I fellowship with before even my district pastor.


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Aug 28, 2009)

Laela said:


> Which is why it is vital to not rely on the failures of others as an excuse to not go to church or worship God with others. We WILL get distracted if people become the focus.
> 
> *1 Thessalonians 4:11 *



I agree but it's not that simple.  People are sexual beings and we were created that way.  It's not right for people to come to church super duper sexualized because they are scandalizing others on purpose to seduce them.  Being sexual beings, we cannot overlook it...it's too tempting. Case in point, servers who bring the wine, unconsecrated hosts, holy water to the altar right before the high mass.  Okay, you are TOUCHING the soon-to-become actual blood and body of Christ.  You cannot serve in a state of mortal sin...your mind must be clear...no malice, anger, jealousy, ....and you'd think no seductive behaviors.  

We're in mass...girlfriend serves in a strapless, thin sundress and obviously no brassiere!!!!  Her teets were all over the place.  Naked legs in flipflops...It was so noticeable...married men were looking at her and not at the altar.   It was OBVIOUS!!!!!!  Many people noticed.  It was seriously embarassing to all women...yich.  She was a teen...and we all know that teens get to that place they are trying to seriously attract attention.  But not during the mass homegirl!  Yich  

You ARE trying to place your attention on Christ...but, according to scriptures...this often happens, esp. these days: (copy and pastes this lesson...it's an explanation  of the scriptures...not nec. the actual verbatim itself)

1 Peter 3:2-4 – Peter commands women to reverent and chaste behavior, which includes modest dress. Peter warns against the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of robes, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. This same Peter practiced modesty before the Lord, for he “put on his clothes” before he jumped into the dirty sea to meet Jesus (see John 21:7). 
Prov. 11:22 – “Like a gold ring in a swine’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.” That is, a woman’s true beauty is her inner beauty, the sacred and mysterious creature that God has made. W*hen she dresses without discretion, she mars her true beauty, and becomes a swine.
*Rom. 12:1-2 – Paul commands us to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God which is our spiritual worship. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Ghost which we offer to God through prayer, fasting and other self-mortifications, which include dressing modestly and living chastely. 
Gal. 5:16,23 – Paul says “walk by the Spirit and do not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to prevent you from doing what you would. But the fruit of the Spirit is…chastity.” *Those who wish to invoke the desires of the flesh by their immodest dress are opposed to the Holy Spirit. They commit grave sin against God and their neighbor. *

1 John 2:16 – “Live as free men, yet without using your freedom as a pretext for evil, but live as servants of God.” Woman cannot use their beautiful bodies as a pretext for evil (that is, to sexually tempt men) without committing serious sin. Such women are not “servants of God,” but “servants of Satan.” 

Rom. 6:13 – “Do not yield your members to sin as instruments of wickedness, but yield yourselves to God as men who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments of righteousness.” *Again, Paul teaches that the body can be used for good or evil. Women must cover themselves so that their bodies are not instruments of wickedness, leading weak men into sin.*
Matt. 5:28 – Jesus says “everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” But this is a two-way street. *If women dress modestly, this temptation is mitigated. If not, this temptation is enhanced.* Both the woman who dresses to attract lust, and the man who gives into the lust, are culpable before God.
Source:  http://www.scripturecatholic.com/modest_dress.html


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## Laela (Aug 28, 2009)

Exactly....  and I'll keep that Focus, no excuses.

God bless you, GV!



GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> *You ARE trying to place your attention on Christ*...but, according to scriptures...this often happens, esp. these days:


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Aug 28, 2009)

Laela said:


> Exactly....  and I'll keep that Focus, no excuses.
> 
> God bless you, GV!




But dear one...you don't have a penis   These menz!


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## Laela (Aug 28, 2009)

Yes, but I'm not concerned about other men 




GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> But dear one...you don't have a penis   These menz!


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## mscocoface (Aug 28, 2009)

I was once an usher in a small church with a nice looking single pastor.  

My duty was to watch the first to thrid row and let the ladies know that if they sat up front they were REQUIRED to place the scarf that I handed them on their lap because their dress was tooo short.

I thought a couple of times I would need a body guard to get to my car.  The look I was shot sometimes and the comments that were made.....Let's just say I was in constant prayer when I had to do that because some of these ladies wanted to fight.

But my Pastor had given direct instructions to remove anyone who did NOT want to use the scarf.  I am sure you have all seen the length of dresses and skirts that are now showing up in churches.

It is terrible, how possesive and single minded some can get when all they can see is that man marrying them and they will make that happen at ALL cost.


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

mscocoface said:


> I was once an usher in a small church with a nice looking single pastor.
> 
> My duty was to watch the first to thrid row and let the ladies know that if they sat up front they were REQUIRED to place the scarf that I handed them on their lap because their dress was tooo short.
> 
> ...


:Rose:   Blessings to you.   I can only 'imagine' how stressful this may have been for you.   But God has placed you there as a compliment to Him; He has entrusted you to represent His fashion of order and to enforce it upon the rebels.   

Therefore, you have nothing to fear.   He's guarding you to take full authority over their behaviour.   They do not wish to be 'shamed' in front of the Church.  

Many of 'these' short skirted women have only 'one' agenda in mind and it's not giving God the glory in His House of worship.    

Their egos are in play and it feeds their ego to have a 'look' --- any look --- in their direction that acknowledges their hemline.   It's sick and it's sad to be so disrepectful of God's order and His presence.    

We go to Church to honor and worship God, not seduce one another into sin and destruction.    

In the two Churchs that I've belonged to (my first and my current Church), Pastor has his selected and trusted staff to sit in the first three rows, because he 'knows' the spirits of strangers will 'try' themselves.  

There may be a 'cause' for a woman (or man) to seek to seduce someone, but there is still a 'spirit' behind it.   A spirit that is taking advantage of a person's motivation for their behaviour.    God has still given us 'free will' which means, we still have a choice NOT to misbehave or yield unto temptation.   

His word 'clearly' says:   _"Lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from all evil..."   _

I don't see why there should have to be a problem on either side ... the tempter or the tempted.   No one has to yield to this mess on either side.


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

Laela said:


> Which is why it is vital to not rely on the failures of others as an excuse to not go to church or worship God with others. We WILL get distracted if people become the focus.
> 
> *1 Thessalonians 4:11 *


 
Thank you, and too many 'Church Rebels' who look for reasons not to go to Church and will wear situations like this thread topic down to the bone and strip the marrow, as further reasons for them not to attend God's House of Worship.


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## Ramya (Aug 28, 2009)

My pastor counsels women and men alone. but honestly he is a man of high integrity who loves his wife and would never cross that line. His wife counsels men and women as well. I don't think the counseling is the problem. the problem is disregarding God and your spouse to do what your flesh wants to do. If a woman/man is giving you 'fever' send her/him to someone else. It's really REALLY simple. It's a choice that those ministers make fully aware of the sin they are committing and they don't care. They lack integrity when their church life doesn't match their home life.


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## momi (Aug 28, 2009)

Raspberry said:


> Hmm..* I wonder if too many churches don't encourage members to seek out counsel from leaders of the same gender*. Seems like there's such an emphasis in most churches on how wise the pastor alone is that some folks feel shafted unless they can talk to him personally. The deacons, teachers, etc need to be known for their leadership and counseling as well.
> 
> My church is large (we are all assigned a specific associate pastor to deal with) but also we focus on everyone being discipled to grow up in the Lord to their fullest potential, so then it becomes apparent that some people are more mature and experienced in the Lord than others. When I have an issue I seek out strong women of God that I fellowship with before even my district pastor.


 

I wonder this as well - there should be class offerrings in "appropriate church behavior by clergy and membership".  I have never taken a ministerial counseling course but would like to know if this is covered in their class - maybe someone can chime in...


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## momi (Aug 28, 2009)

Ramya said:


> My *pastor counsels women and men alone. but honestly he is a man of high integrity who loves his wife and would never cross that line. His *wife counsels men and women as well. I don't think the counseling is the problem. the problem is disregarding God and your spouse to do what your flesh wants to do. If a woman/man is giving you 'fever' send her/him to someone else. It's really REALLY simple. It's a choice that those ministers make fully aware of the sin they are committing and they don't care. They lack integrity when their church life doesn't match their home life.


 

I know many that do, however I could not imagine my husband to do so with my blessing.  Even if his intentions are pure as snow, when there is no third party a woman/man can share their own version of what happened -  Then it becomes, "my word against theirs".  The enemy should not be given a foothold.

Have you heard the stories of women proclaiming "God told me that he was my husband".  All they need is a smile and generic comment to take the entire meeting out of context.


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## momi (Aug 28, 2009)

mscocoface said:


> I was once an usher in a small church with a nice looking single pastor.
> 
> My duty was to watch the first to thrid row and let the ladies know that if they sat up front they were REQUIRED to place the scarf that I handed them on their lap because their dress was tooo short.
> 
> ...


 

Wow, maybe they took it personal instead of looking at it as a "church policy"?

Anyway - glad you survived!


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## Ramya (Aug 28, 2009)

momi said:


> I know many that do, however I could not imagine my husband to do so with my blessing.  Even if his intentions are pure as snow, when there is no third party a woman/man can share their own version of what happened -  Then it becomes, "my word against theirs".  The enemy should not be given a foothold.
> 
> Have you heard the stories of women proclaiming "God told me that he was my husband".  All they need is a smile and generic comment to take the entire meeting out of context.



Yes but my pastor actually did a lesson on this last week. About how people swear someone else's husband or wife is really supposed to be their husband/wife. But God doesn't contradict Himself in that capacity. It is my pastor's responsibility to maintain his integrity. He knows better and his life is a reflection of Christ. Let the women talk. I'm sure there are women fantasizing about him all the time but there's nothing he can do about it but keep himself. There are cameras everywhere. It would be on tape if it were true. I actually wouldn't want counseling with more than one counselor unless it were marriage counseling. People pick up on mistrust easily. I would need to know why I couldn't meet with my pastor alone to discuss my private situation. And if the answer wasn't appropriate, I'd be praying about a new pastor.


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

Ramya said:


> My pastor counsels women and men alone. but honestly he is a man of high integrity who loves his wife and would never cross that line. His wife counsels men and women as well.
> 
> *I don't think the counseling is the problem. the problem is disregarding God and your spouse to do what your flesh wants to do. If a woman/man is giving you 'fever' send her/him to someone else. It's really REALLY simple. *
> 
> It's a choice that those ministers make fully aware of the sin they are committing and they don't care. They lack integrity when their church life doesn't match their home life.


 
You love your Pastor; I can see this straight through your post.    And you believe in him and you trust him as your Pastor.   

But Angel, he is 'driving' without a seatbelt.  No matter how skilled he may be in the Driver's seat; how much integrity he has to obey the laws of the road, there are still the laws of 'prevention' which must always be adhered to, no matter what.  

When God's word says to put on the full armour of God, it's means the _full armour_, with no gaps in between.   

He's still a man.  A man of compassion, a man who can still be tempted, not into sin but into 'life' and what nature calls of it.     

No matter how much integrity he has, he still has an enemy about him who could care less about.   And enemy who at the given moment, will make his move and yield him into sin.    

The Bible is clear on who should counsel the women and who should counsel the men.   Pastor is not following the order.  

Bless his heart.   Your Pastor reminds me of someone who loves the people so much, that he just wants to reach out and helpt them all, no matter what.    He has a 'Sheppard's heart'.    

However, God has commaneded him, as Pastor,   Give no place to the devil... no place.   No place meaning, see no one without a witness.   He knows better, if not, then he's deceived.  For we are warned to shun even the 'appearance of evil'.     

God's says to Pastors, _"Buckle up"...._ 

Avoid all temptations to any kind of sin.   Protect your Pastor with 'Armour' Prayers.   He needs them.    

For your Pastor...


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Aug 28, 2009)

Laela said:


> Exactly....  and I'll keep that Focus, no excuses.
> 
> God bless you, GV!




Just to inject a little humor lest we get angry with other....Laela's got on one of dese...no side vision....tunnel!  LOL




the pastors have to lay eyes on front row babes like this





and the angry women behind them armed in scripture are ready to expel the rebels like this


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## Ramya (Aug 28, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> You love your Pastor; I can see this straight through your post.    And you believe in him and you trust him as your Pastor.
> 
> But Angel, he is 'driving' without a seatbelt.  No matter how skilled he may be in the Driver's seat; how much integrity he has to obey the laws of the road, there are still the laws of 'prevention' which must always be adhered to, no matter what.
> 
> ...



I disagree. Yes I pray for my pastor and his family daily but I disagree that he shouldn't counsel women alone. His wife counsels men alone. The sessions are recorded for future reference but privacy is very important in our church. If I want to see my pastor privately all I have to do is set up an appointment. He would rather die than dishonor his family or shame our church. That's the kind of man he is and everyone knows him to be. Will he find women attractive? Absolutely just like his wife will find men attractive but there's no need to have 50-11 people listening in on the counseling session. Like I said, those men/women who were so tempted that they forgot about God and chose to dishonor their husbands/wives did so because they wanted to. plain and simple. And they probably would have done it outside of the church anyway. Cheating doesn't just happen. They chose to have affairs and chose to keep other women.


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## mscocoface (Aug 28, 2009)

For the church that I now belong to the counselors or pastors counsel gender specific.  Or couples counsel couples.

It makes sense to have a policy put up front and center so that even the Pastor with the best intentions do not run into someone who can even accuse the brethren of such nonesense.

It is crazy how you will hear someone say God told me I was going to marry you and all the innocent did was say hello!  It is sometimes just that easy, especially when the one supposedly hearing this from God is not being reasonable.  I am trying really hard not to call someone a nut job, but I am telling you what is in the world is in the church too and some of these people are not...shall we say reasonable.


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## Poohbear (Aug 28, 2009)

Ramya said:


> I disagree. Yes I pray for my pastor and his family daily but I disagree that he shouldn't counsel women alone. His wife counsels men alone. The sessions are recorded for future reference but privacy is very important in our church. If I want to see my pastor privately all I have to do is set up an appointment. He would rather die than dishonor his family or shame our church. That's the kind of man he is and everyone knows him to be. Will he find women attractive? Absolutely just like his wife will find men attractive but there's no need to have 50-11 people listening in on the counseling session. Like I said, those men/women who were so tempted that they forgot about God and chose to dishonor their husbands/wives did so because they wanted to. plain and simple. And they probably would have done it outside of the church anyway. Cheating doesn't just happen. They chose to have affairs and chose to keep other women.


 I agree that spiritual matters should be held confidentially.  

But maybe Shimmie was suggesting that the husband and wife should go in together to counsel one person instead of counseling one person alone.


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

Ramya said:


> I disagree. Yes I pray for my pastor and his family daily but I disagree that he shouldn't counsel women alone. His wife counsels men alone. The sessions are recorded for future reference but privacy is very important in our church. If I want to see my pastor privately all I have to do is set up an appointment. He would rather die than dishonor his family or shame our church. That's the kind of man he is and everyone knows him to be. Will he find women attractive?
> 
> Absolutely just like his wife will find men attractive but there's no need to have 50-11 people listening in on the counseling session. Like I said, those men/women who were so tempted that they forgot about God and chose to dishonor their husbands/wives did so because they wanted to. plain and simple. And they probably would have done it outside of the church anyway. *Cheating doesn't just happen.* They chose to have affairs and chose to keep other women.


I'm not being controversial.  I would love to agree with you about your Pastor.   I mean this sincerely.      The Church means everything to me.   And I would love to 'know' that our Leadership is Rock Solid.   But it's not.   

Here it is.   _"Cheating doesn't just happen."_   You are right.   

It's very subtle.  It's a process, moment to moment, seed by seed, water by water; and it begins the very moment that any man or woman is alone.   It's called 'nature'.    It may not be anyone's intention to take it any further, but the danger comes when we are allowing ourselves to be placed in a situation to give way to it. 

Your Pastors are not 'rock solid'.  They are humans filled with compassion and compassion means to 'feel' what's inside of another person.  Compassion seeks to comfort, to ease, to remove whatever pain, another is feeling.  It means to share 'what one is feeling'.   

Now,  hold on to that, ("to share what one is feeling')   Because this is where and how so many, many, many of our Leaders in the Church have gotten caught up. . . unintentionally. 

I know you think the world of your Pastors, but they are human and this is how 99% of these Leaders who have 'fallen' into sin, were lead into it.  It happen by not heeding to the 'First Counsel' which is God's word which forewarns them. 

If you've ever 'listened' to the confessions and testimonies of those who have fallen, they will all say the same thing.   They didn't think that is could or would happen to them.   Yet it did and not on purpose, but it did, because the rules and precautions were not taken heed to.

The very fact that counseling is 'private', means 'intimacy'.   One is bearing their heart and soul of a situation.   It doesn't take much for a woman to become emotional and to cry when she's bearing her soul.  Neither does it take much for a man to do the same.  And it takes even less for a Pastor is share their feelings and seek to console them. An instinctive embrace of compassion, leads to an unintentional embrace of passion.  

Ask yourself, what is the number reason most women seek counsel?  A broken heart.   A woman's number one need for counsel will almost always be an emotional one.   And it lends itsself to initmacy.  First, emotional and if prolonged, physical.    'Deep Calls unto Deep.'   A man will yield to her emotions to comfort her and then it takes on a course of its own.   

Why else have so many of our Church Leaders fallen?    Not because they're players, ballers, sex maniacs, adulterers, but because their compassion took on another level and there was no guard there to stop it.   There was no 'seatbelt' worn by either party and upon collision, they were thrown together into sin. 

An ongoing 'private' session can very easily lead to a comforting embrace where NEITHER person ( the person being counselled or the Pastor) has any intention or thought of being tempted.   Yet, it happens, even to those most innocent.   The utmost of innocense on both parties. 

And just like the womb is the perfect climate for conception, so is a private session between a male Pastor and female in a private room, sharing her heart; and likewise with a woman in leadership in the same climate.    

It happens, more often than not.  *deep sigh*      it happens.   

You don't want to even know what I know and what I hear.  Dr. Bette Price is only one of those who receives the emails, letters and calls... she's only one.  I get them too.


----------



## SND411 (Aug 28, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> I'm not being controversial. I would love to agree with you about your Pastor. I mean this sincerely.  The Church means everything to me. And I would love to 'know' that our Leadership is Rock Solid. But it's not.
> 
> Here it is. _"Cheating doesn't just happen."_ You are right.
> 
> ...


 
Then it is a sad state of affairs when you cannot even trust your church leaders NOT to act like the rest of the world. Stop making infidelity into something people cannot control.


----------



## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

AfriPrincess411 said:


> Then it is a sad state of affairs when you cannot even trust your church leaders NOT to act like the rest of the world. Stop making infidelity into something people cannot control.


You're missing the point.   It begins with not putting yourself in vunerable situations.   What 'tempt' temptation?    

You may agree with it, but it makes no sense for a man and woman to be alone in closed quarters.  It's also not scriptural.  God's word clearly says that women should be counseled by women.   

It's not about 'trust'.  No one is saying that these 'Church Leaders' cannot be trusted.   But they can lend themselves to being tempted.   And in a close situation where emotions are stirred up, things can and do get out of hand.     It's reality and it's life.   

None of us are God.  We are in this 'flesh' and flesh is what it is, it is flesh.   Even the Apostle Paul said he had to 'buffet' his body daily.   Subject it to be under control.   

In Ministry, we cannot be careless, lending ourselves to the open and closed doors of being tempted.   God says that we are to be subject to the Holy Spirit, not our flesh.   Would the Holy Spirit advise us to be in private counsel with one of the opposite sex, especially on an ongoing basis.   We 'know' the answer to that.    

Infidelity CAN indeed be controlled and it begins with not allowing yourself to be where it can possibly happen.  The 'self-control' begins at the very beginning, which is not being 'alone' with someone where the seeds can be planted.  

This is the very thing that has messed up the Church, where the people place unrealistic expectations upon their leaders.   Listen to the Leaders and they will tell you, they are just as human and they are.   No one ever intends to fall into sin.   But how does it happen?   When you enter it's threshold.    The threshold is a solitary encounter.   

Face the facts, we may not be a smoker, but 2nd hand smoke still has the same effects.    A Leader can be the most honorable man or woman in the world, but they are still human and as humans we do not lend ourselves to be in situations where the enemy can use it to his advantage. 

Place your trust in the beginning, be sensible and simply do not put yourself in a place to be tempted.   

Don't be discouraged over this, it can be overcome, but it must be done from the very beginning, not in the midst.  

King David who was a man after God's very own heart, who worshipped God every hour of the day, loving God more than any man or woman, YET, without any pre conceived intention, he was tempted and he yielded.   

Joseph, ran from Potipher's wife who with all of her might seduced him to 'Lie with her..." .    He refused to set foot into the door of that temptation.  

It's not about, expecting these men and women to refute the flesh once in the enviroment of it;  but to expect them not to put themselves in sitations like that in the first place.   That's Leadership!   That's Wisdom!  That's the true expectation.    Just don't go there.   Period.   

In this situation in our precious member's post her Pastors can very easily switch roles.   His wife can without excuse counsel the women (one to one) and her husband without excuse can counsel the men (one to one).     How hard is that?   They know better.      They are just not exercising Godly wisdom.  

Blessings....


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## SND411 (Aug 28, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> You're missing the point. It begins with not putting yourself in vunerable situations. What 'tempt' temptation?
> 
> You may agree with it, but it makes no sense for a man and woman to be alone in closed quarters. It's also not scriptural. God's word clearly says that women should be counseled by women.
> 
> ...


 
Oh, I now I know what you are saying.  I agree with you. It's just that I do not want to be seen as a female "vixen" or seductress for simply talking to a leader of the opposite sex. I dont know...I just always felt you can be alone with a member of the opposite sex without "intimacy" or "immoral" thoughts being involved.


----------



## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

AfriPrincess411 said:


> Oh, I now I know what you are saying.  I agree with you. It's just that I do not want to be seen as a female "vixen" or seductress for simply talking to a leader of the opposite sex. I dont know...I just always felt you can be alone with a member of the opposite sex without "intimacy" or "immoral" thoughts being involved.


 
I also agree with you and understand what you are saying.  I'm in the same position.  I'm in Ministry, and I'm surrounded by many men and women of God, but most of them are men.   

I'm going to end up sending you a PM within the week, to share some other things that I don't want to share in public.   But it will give you a clearer picture of what I've had to learn the painful way.   

And no, I've never been approached, neither have I ever tempted anyone, but I've had a of things shared with me that had made me more 'aware' of how I present myself and the Church. 

Want to hear some irony?  The reason I know as much as I know about 'men' is from men.     That's a hoot! A real one.     But who better to learn from?   But my conversations were never in a 'closed' or close environment.  Others were always around.   Always in the open.  But each of them will tell you, don't set yourself up.  The 'unintended' can very easily happen.  

I can share this.  So many women who seek counsel, are seeking to be 'validated'.  To have her sefl-esteem nursed back to health.  Who better to validate her than a man that she respects and admires.  The man becomes her rescurer; her hero.  Most women 'fall in love' with their hero. For this reason alone a male Pastor or any male in Leadership, should never counsel a woman 'alone' who is having 'problems' in her marriage.  Never...    And this is from the 'men' (plural). not me...  

For the record, I know you're not a vixen.  I'm sorry if I made it appear that way.  Before the week is out, I'll share some things with you in a PM.   Nothing deep, I just don't want anyone to read what I share and try and run with it.  The Church is a wonderful gift from God, it's just up to us to protect it.  That's all.


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## waverlymedia (Aug 28, 2009)

*[FONT=&quot]New Book - Return to Your First Love[/FONT]*[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]    [/FONT]​  [FONT=&quot]Hello,

I have written entitled "Return to Your First Love." Return to Your First Love is the assignment God gave me 10 years ago to tell my testimony. Throughout my life, I have gone from walking with God zealously in my youth, inconsistently in my early adulthood, and maturing to a steadfast walk with Him in my latter years. My story is a tale of overcoming the struggles of family dysfunction, low self-esteem, persecution, forgiveness, financial hardship, sexual immorality, challenges in the work place, to winning in marriage and living a victorious life. Over the past four decades of my life, I have learned valuable lessons that have been both beneficial as well as costly. I trust my life experiences would speak to any woman no matter what stage she is in life. Return to Your First Love is a timely message that edifies, exhorts and encourages in times of uncertainty. Teen and young adult women will be compelled and encouraged to seek a loving relationship with Jesus Christ. 

It is estimated that 1 out of 4 teenage girls have contracted an STD. It is also estimated that over 50% of all marriages end in divorce (with an even higher rate within the Body of Christ) – the #1 reason being financial struggles. In light of the current economic conditions, the family structure is facing a crisis. I believe the Church, as a whole, has fallen short in its efforts to teach believers how to cope with everyday life. Return to Your First Love addresses the aforementioned life challenges head on and much more. Developing an intimate and loving relationship with Jesus Christ has been and still is my answer, and He is the answer for other hurting women too. My life story not only admonishes, but demonstrates how to walk in obedience to God’s will. My unusual turn of life events will compel teens and women alike to believe in God and the possibility of genuine loving relationships. 

Purchase "Return to Your First Love" at waverlymediagroup.com, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.com online! [/FONT][FONT=&quot] ISBN-13: *9780984097401  *[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

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View the trailer for the book at the link below.[/FONT]
*[FONT=&quot]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OQzT0eQqk4[/FONT]*
  [FONT=&quot]

Sign up for the mailing list at my website to stay abreast of other upcoming events.
http://www.revelation2-4.com 

God Bless!
Teresa Jones 

 [/FONT]


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

waverlymedia said:


> *[FONT=&quot]New Book - Return to Your First Love[/FONT]*
> 
> [FONT=&quot]Hello,[/FONT]
> 
> ...


 
Thank you for sharing this... :Rose:


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## waverlymedia (Aug 28, 2009)

Here is info... from the back cover...


Love is desired by all, yet it eludes many…
	Start anew with the Source. 	

God stands at door of the heart and knocks.  His hand extends toward His children to lead them in a loving, intimate relationship with Himself and others.  No one has to live a life of defeat.  Teresa Jones shares her remarkable story of overcoming life struggles that hinder many, including …     

	Family Dysfunction
	Low Self-Esteem
	Teen Peer Pressure
	Dating Pitfalls
	Sexual Immorality
	Forgiving Self & Others
	Marital Problems 
	Financial Hardship
You too can be victorious over these life struggles and more.

Return to Your First Love is not the typical self-help/relationships book filled with anecdotes and quotes from experts.  Readers are invited to sit in the front row to experience actual events that dig deep and expose carnality and misconstrued ideas about Christianity, which will in turn guide them to a path of true intimacy with God.  

Author Teresa Jones walks readers through decades of her life, and share valuable lessons that have been both beneficial as well as costly.  Her life experiences will speak to anyone no matter the stage of life.  Return to Your First Love is a timely message that edifies, exhorts and encourages in times of uncertainty.  Readers will be compelled and encouraged to seek a loving relationship with Jesus Christ.


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## SvelteVelvet (Aug 28, 2009)

I've just read the comments here, I'm gonna go read about the book now but just wanted to quickly comment..

PLEEAAASSSEE realize that the majority of AA Pastors are 'leading' with pimp mentalities.
Some abuse their title and position and more often do the chasing and preying on beautiful women who walk into their church with no other intention but to grow closer to God. Appropriately dressed and minding their own spiritual business too. I've seen it very close to me MULTIPLE times and experienced it myself.

I don't think a beautiful single woman, even appropriately dressed can escape the attitude from others that she MUST be there to entice the married Ministers. From the insecure wife to the Minister himself. It's really sad. 

The more I live 'the church experience' in the AA community the more I see it as a societal environment centered around Christianity but more often does more harm than good to the Faith, specifically for babes in Christ.

Ok, off to read. I hope she touches on the reverse side of this..if not, shoot, I'll pen the book!


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## SND411 (Aug 28, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> I also agree with you and understand what you are saying. I'm in the same position. I'm in Ministry, and I'm surrounded by many men and women of God, but most of them are men.
> 
> I'm going to end up sending you a PM within the week, to share some other things that I don't want to share in public. But it will give you a clearer picture of what I've had to learn the painful way.
> 
> ...


 
I would love for you to PM me. Thank you very much!


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## momi (Aug 28, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> You're missing the point. It begins with not putting yourself in vunerable situations. What 'tempt' temptation?
> 
> You may agree with it, but it makes no sense for a man and woman to be alone in closed quarters. It's also not scriptural. God's word clearly says that women should be counseled by women.
> 
> ...


 
Amen.  Shimmie explained it with much more clarity than I could have.


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## SvelteVelvet (Aug 28, 2009)

Ok, I just read it, and it seems she's gonna do a good job of touching on all points of this issue. And I also understand she's writing from a First Lady's perspective with many years of experience and wisdom under her belt so I commend her for that.

The one line that struck a little cord with me was 'They all leave when they can't get their way.' In the case of married Pastors coming onto the women, the woman will leave because, well, the Pastor came on to her!

Plus I know of a woman who didn't leave until she pushed his wife of 15 years out. It took years and years, but she..well THEY made it happen. And today she now holds the coveted first lady and Pastors wife title and she's holding onto it for her dear life even though he's cheated on her already. And everytime a beautiful single woman comes to the church she does her best to push them out. I don't see their Ministry prospering at all.


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

SvelteVelvet said:


> I've just read the comments here, I'm gonna go read about the book now but just wanted to quickly comment..
> 
> PLEEAAASSSEE realize that the majority of AA Pastors are 'leading' with pimp mentalities.
> Some abuse their title and position and more often do the chasing and preying on beautiful women who walk into their church with no other intention but to grow closer to God. Appropriately dressed and minding their own spiritual business too. I've seen it very close to me MULTIPLE times and experienced it myself.
> ...


 
Majority, no...    Many... yes.   Too many; one is too many; just one.   I'm in the midst of all of it.  High profile and Lower profile.  

We have some wonderful Black Ministries that are True to heart, totally true to heart, but all it takes are those 'few' who make it bad for those who are bending over backwards to serve and honor God with their all.  

And it's not all 'AA' (Black).  I live in a high profile White environment.  

But you know what it is, SvelteVelvet?   Those 'few' men (and some women) whose have lost the real 'focus', which should be God.  They've gotten caught up in the power; especially those who never sat under 'Authority' -- Godly Authority and learned humility and the Righteousness of God.    We have to start humble and eat humble.   

I hate to say it, but they become 'stars' instead of men with 'scars' to show their crawl from the ground to the Altar.  They became too big and unable to handle the size and weight of their Godly responsibilities, which is to bow before God and His people. 

Svelte, I know some humble men of God.  I mean humble.  It will completely change the view that's been presented to you.  And I'm sorry that it has been like this for you.   But it's not the majority.  It may be the majority of those you know of and heard of, but I can promise you that the Majority are the Faithful and good men of God.   They truly exist and they are fighting for their lives to rise above the negative stimatism that hovers over them as a stereotype.  

I pray to God that you will be lead by God to meet and know these honorable men of God in the Majority, not the Minority.  They truly do exist.  I promise you, they do.  

Blessings to you... I truly mean it.  :Rose:


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

SvelteVelvet said:


> Ok, I just read it, and it seems she's gonna do a good job of touching on all points of this issue. And I also understand she's writing from a First Lady's perspective with many years of experience and wisdom under her belt so I commend her for that.
> 
> The one line that struck a little cord with me was 'They all leave when they can't get their way.' In the case of married Pastors coming onto the women, the woman will leave because, well, the Pastor came on to her!
> 
> Plus I know of a woman who didn't leave until she pushed his wife of 15 years out. It took years and years, but she..well THEY made it happen. *And today she now holds the coveted first lady and Pastors wife title and she's holding onto it for her dear life even though he's cheated on her already.* And everytime a beautiful single woman comes to the church she does her best to push them out. I don't see their Ministry prospering at all.


 
She reaped what she sowed.  It's principle...It's law; God's law.  

Rule #1:  Never marry a man you cheated with.  The very one you sin with will sin on you.  Factoid... Ministry or Not.


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

momi said:


> Amen. Shimmie explained it with much more clarity than I could have.


momi, you're there; and I know that you and your husband have seen much.  In and out of the Spirit.  It takes an awesome woman of God to be a Pastor's wife.   Not because of her husband, but because of the weight that comes with the Ministry and the needs of the people.  

All I can say is, I admire you and these are not words of flourish.  It takes a strong woman to be who you are.  More than that, it's a woman whom God has chosen because He trusts her and has annointed her to be the much needed 'help meet', that no other woman can be.  

Always remember that:  *Always!*   No other woman has been annointed to be in your husband's life as his wife nor for any other reason.  

*Case Closed!* 

As Christians, we have to work so much harder to preserve what we believe in. Which is all the more reason, God has endued us with His power.  We are not equipped to fail in the Ministry God has ordained us to. From the womb, we have been equipped to win!  Praise Jesus!  Praise Him forever more.  :Rose:


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## SvelteVelvet (Aug 28, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> Majority, no...  Many... yes. Too many; one is too many; just one. I'm in the midst of all of it. High profile and Lower profile.
> 
> We have some wonderful Black Ministries that are True to heart, totally true to heart, but all it takes are those 'few' who make it bad for those who are bending over backwards to serve and honor God with their all.
> 
> ...


 
Thanks! I don't know how but your warm spirit just comes through the computer screen when you post 

You're right, one is too many and when you know of a few, it gets so discouraging but you're right and I do trust and believe that there are some with integrity. I actually do know 1, that's 1 out of 5 for me, so that's why I said majority.

You're very lucky to know and be around so much more of the responsible, honorable men of God.


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

SvelteVelvet said:


> Thanks! I don't know how but your warm spirit just comes through the computer screen when you post
> 
> You're right, one is too many and when you know of a few, it gets so discouraging but you're right and I do trust and believe that there are some with integrity. I actually do know 1, that's 1 out of 5 for me, so that's why I said majority.
> 
> You're very lucky to know and be around so much more of the responsible, honorable men of God.


  Thanks SvelteVelvet.

The Church is under so much 'attack'; it's really an attack against us who love Jesus and choose to follow Him with all of our hearts.   We need each other and the Church to do this and to stay strong.   

And this is what satan is fighting against and using those 'few' as his weapons to separate us and weaken our walk with God.   I have news, we're not giving in.  Neither is Jesus.  We are the Victors in this and those choose to falter, we have to pray them back to the Altar of God where they belong.   

Either that or hit them over the head...  

Blessings and love to you... :Rose:


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## momi (Aug 28, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> momi, you're there; and I know that you and your husband have seen much. In and out of the Spirit. It takes an awesome woman of God to be a Pastor's wife. Not because of her husband, but because of the weight that comes with the Ministry and the needs of the people.
> 
> All I can say is, I admire you and these are not words of flourish. It takes a strong woman to be who you are. More than that, it's a woman whom God has chosen because He trusts her and has annointed her to be the much needed 'help meet', that no other woman can be.
> 
> ...


 
You are a precious jewel and an asset to the Body of Christ.

Thank you for continuing to let The Lord use you in such a loving - yet honest and upfront way.

I truly needed this encouragement.


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## Shimmie (Aug 28, 2009)

momi said:


> You are a precious jewel and an asset to the Body of Christ.
> 
> Thank you for continuing to let The Lord use you in such a loving - yet honest and upfront way.
> 
> I truly needed this encouragement.


 
You too, momi; you too.   

You own 'that' Altar.  Remember that!  *You...YOUR* Prayers... own 'that' Altar.   You direct the path of prayers for your husband and all the other's follow your lead, *not* theirs.   You 'own' that Altar upon which God stands within your husband.   No other woman can undo 'your' prayers.   Your prayers are 'fixed', fully established, trusting in God!  The Greater One dwells on the inside of you and your husband.  *"You"* own that Altar.  It will never be brought low nor taken down.  *You own it!* 

Selah!  :Rose: 



Shimmie sleeps...   

But 'You' own that Altar!


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## Jenibo (Aug 29, 2009)

mscocoface said:


> The only way to solve an issue is to expose it for what it is.
> 
> No one has spoken out like she has about the subject I'd say it is about time. I know of a few women who have joined a church just to get at the minister and I call them on it pronto.
> 
> ...


 

Please tell us some stories!!!


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## Laela (Aug 30, 2009)

*Simple. *Well said... despite popular belief men of God like your pastor are the NORM. They live by the Word and have integrity 

Praise God!



Ramya said:


> *My pastor counsels women and men alone. but honestly he is a man of high integrity who loves his wife and would never cross that line. *His wife counsels men and women as well. I don't think the counseling is the problem. the problem is disregarding God and your spouse to do what your flesh wants to do. If a woman/man is giving you 'fever' send her/him to someone else. It's really REALLY simple. It's a choice that those ministers make fully aware of the sin they are committing and they don't care. They lack integrity when their church life doesn't match their home life.


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## Laela (Aug 30, 2009)

*That's all it is* spiritual attack. Glad some of us can see that for what it really is. I sometimes SMH when I read of these men/women who allow Satan to use them this way.

_...we wrestle not against FLESH_. 




Shimmie said:


> *The Church is under so much 'attack'; it's really an attack against us who love Jesus and choose to follow Him with all of our hearts.*   We need each other and the Church to do this and to stay strong.


----------



## Laela (Aug 30, 2009)

Your post just reminded me of the TV show "Amen" ... 

No matter what Revvy Rev did or didn't do, the deacon's daughter just "had to have him".   ... and there was an episode where he had to counsel an attractive young woman and tried to do so in private but couldn't because of the "perception" by church members. Still, he did his job, because he was disciplined AND also because she was there with no malicious intent. 

A man of God should be able to counsel anyone behind closed doors, because there are times some things cannot be revealed to others and do not need to be. Discretion is a big part of leadership and Christian life. So is discipline.

Followers of Christ are _disciples _who are instructed (by the Word) to learn to _discipline _themselves for the sake of holiness (I Timothy 4:7-8). Any Man/Woman of God who lives by this Scripture will have no problem counseling anyone, whether in private or not. It is only a problem if that minister/pastor isn't disciplined AND the person approaching them (behind a spirit) can manipulate whatever weakness he has. For men, it's usually the obvious.




AfriPrincess411 said:


> Oh, I now I know what you are saying.  I agree with you. It's just that I do not want to be seen as a female "vixen" or seductress for simply talking to a leader of the opposite sex. I dont know...I just always felt you can be alone with a member of the opposite sex without "intimacy" or "immoral" thoughts being involved.


----------



## Laela (Aug 30, 2009)

HA!  goodness... girl you funneee... 




GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> Just to inject a little humor lest we get angry with other....Laela's got on one of dese...no side vision....tunnel!  LOL


 



You know once, Creflo Dollar said he took his wife to a firing range and she was so good with her target practice, it made him swallow hard. She'd shot at the dummy and the first shot in the head, the second near the heart and the third in the groin ... I guess it's good for a husband to have that image in his head.. LOL




GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:


> and the angry women behind them armed in scripture are ready to expel the rebels like this


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## Raspberry (Aug 30, 2009)

Laela said:


> You know once, Creflo Dollar said he took his wife to a firing range and she was so good with her target practice, it made him swallow hard. She'd shot at the dummy and the first shot in the head, the second near the heart and the third in the groin ... I guess it's good for a husband to have that image in his head.. LOL


----------



## Raspberry (Aug 30, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> momi, you're there; and I know that you and your husband have seen much.  In and out of the Spirit.  *It takes an awesome woman of God to be a Pastor's wife.   Not because of her husband, but because of the weight that comes with the Ministry and the needs of the people.  *



I agree, that's why I don't understand why so may woman want to attach themselves to a minister.  Obviously they're only focused on status 'cause being a Pastor's wife is a special calling that not every woman is built for.  I know I'm not...


----------



## momi (Aug 30, 2009)

Laela said:


> *Your post just reminded me of the TV show "Amen" ... *
> 
> *No matter what Revvy Rev did or didn't do, the deacon's daughter just "had to have him". * ... and there was an episode where he had to counsel an attractive young woman and tried to do so in private but couldn't because of the "perception" by church members. Still, he did his job, because he was disciplined AND also because she was there with no malicious intent.
> 
> ...


 
I remember that show - she just HAD to have him...

I still beg to differ on principle - I understand that discretion is important, however it usually is not the pastor/counselors discipline that is the concern.  I am sorry but I know of TOO many stories with counseling, prayer sessions, and work arrangements that became a little too cozy for comfort.


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## Shimmie (Aug 30, 2009)

Raspberry said:


> I agree, that's why I don't understand why so may woman want to attach themselves to a minister. Obviously they're only focused on status 'cause being a Pastor's wife is a special calling that not every woman is built for. I know I'm not...


 
  It takes a very special calling.   

My annointing would be laying hands and pulling weaves; they may enter the Church door pulled together, but they'd be leaving pulled apart.  

Ummmm, I gather I don't have the 'special calling'...


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## Shimmie (Aug 30, 2009)

Laela said:


> HA!  goodness... girl you funneee...
> 
> You know once, Creflo Dollar said he took his wife to a firing range and she was so good with her target practice, it made him swallow hard. She'd shot at the dummy and the first shot in the head, the second near the heart and the third in the groin ... I guess it's good for a husband to have that image in his head.. LOL


Taffy don't play.  She's not losing her Crefie Cref...


----------



## Shimmie (Aug 30, 2009)

Laela said:


> Your post just reminded me of the TV show "Amen" ...
> 
> No matter what Revvy Rev did or didn't do, the deacon's daughter just "had to have him".  ... and there was an episode where he had to counsel an attractive young woman and tried to do so in private but couldn't because of the "perception" by church members. Still, he did his job, because he was disciplined AND also because she was there with no malicious intent.
> 
> ...


That show was a hoot... 

Especially when he 'fainted' during their wedding ceremony and she leaped all over him to revive him.   Poor Thelma Frye.   

Of course there was a happy ending... The Rev officiated their own ceremony.


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## mscocoface (Aug 30, 2009)

I have about 10 ministers or Pastors in my family tree right now and both my grandfathers were Bishops so that means I have that many first ladies.  I have heard everything.  I would not wish that responsibility on anyone.

If it is done as God ordains it is truly a sacrificial *calling*.......I am not the one!


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## Shimmie (Aug 30, 2009)

Laela said:


> *That's all it is* spiritual attack. Glad some of us can see that for what it really is. I sometimes SMH when I read of these men/women who allow Satan to use them this way.
> 
> _...we wrestle not against FLESH_.


 
Amen, Laela...


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## Ramya (Aug 31, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> You're missing the point.   It begins with not putting yourself in vunerable situations.   What 'tempt' temptation?
> 
> You may agree with it, but it makes no sense for a man and woman to be alone in closed quarters.  It's also not scriptural.  God's word clearly says that women should be counseled by women.
> 
> ...



This is untrue. His wife is NOT a copastor of the church. We have ONE pastor and many ministers. She is just a minister. There are things that I got to her for (concering her areas of ministry) and there are things that I will only go to my pastor for. She is not a replacement for our pastor. She only counsels on certain issues. You can have compassion for someone without wanting to sleep with them. I hear you but I do not agree with you on this topic at all. People fall into sin because they make the choice to sin. It's sad when women and men view the opposite sex as merely a vessel for lust and sex. No wonder men and women can't experience genuine friendships.


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## Shimmie (Aug 31, 2009)

Ramya said:


> This is untrue. His wife is NOT a copastor of the church. We have ONE pastor and many ministers. She is just a minister. There are things that I got to her for (concering her areas of ministry) and there are things that I will only go to my pastor for. She is not a replacement for our pastor. She only counsels on certain issues. You can have compassion for someone without wanting to sleep with them. I hear you but I do not agree with you on this topic at all. People fall into sin because they make the choice to sin. It's sad when women and men view the opposite sex as merely a vessel for lust and sex. No wonder men and women can't experience genuine friendships.


It's okay, I respect your feelings and that you disagree.   This is what you have in your heart and it's honorable to see your Pastor as upstanding. 

You may not believe me, but I understand your defense for your Pastor.   I was 'there', but I learned not from one, but from several, that I was blinded to reality.  

Ramya, it's not about 'trusting' him or not trusting him; it's not about his integrity.   I'm sure, beyond any reasonable doubt,  he is a man of great stature and without a doubt he would never 'intend' to fall into sin.   No one does; no one of Integrity intends to sin.   

And it doesn' mean that one is weak; neither does it excuse anyone who succombs to temptation.    

We have to realize that we have an 'enemy' -- a huge one who is out to set us up like a set of dominoes and then with one wave of his hand, knock us down.    And we all have to realize that we, no matter how much we pray, profess to love God and actually do love God, we are not infallible.    We just aren't.   We are not 100% in the flow of the Holy Spirit or in the mind of integrity 24/7/365/366.    We never will be.   

And as Leaders, we are 'called' not to place ourselves in situations which could be used by the enemy to entrap us; or to actually 'set us up' and then knock us down.   We cannot place our Leaders on pedestals and although it may not seem like it,  we are when we expect them never to fall.   

These are very key words that every Believer must hold onto for as long as they live.   "Never to Fall".   We're not supposed to, and we don't set out to, it is almost always never intended.   However, we 'do' fall.  

This is why we find so many Christians and outsiders falling to pieces when they hear or see a man or woman in Leadership commit a sin of any kind.   It happens, because we never 'expect' them to be anything but perfect, no matter what.    

We cannot do that.    Because it is not only 'unfair', it is also sin, for we are lying to ourselves and we are also 'tempting' God.    

As a Spiritual Father, you are _'in love'_ with your Pastor and you find no fault in him in this area.   But he is still a man; a man susceptable to the unintended.   He knows better.     I have no doubt that he has ministered,  _... Let not your good be evil spoken of.   (Romans 14:16)_

We have to 'protect' our good.  Even in the most sincerest of circumstances, and the utmost of Integrity, we must protect our 'Good'.   Because satan is out to destroy our even sincerest of intentions.   We are to avoid all sense of giving place to the devil, for he seeks to sift anyone of us as wheat.   he doesn't care.  Why should he?  satan wants nothing more than to stand before God, with a Child of God, bowed in shame.  

Anyway.... Keep loving and supporting your Pastor.  You are a 'rare' breed among the scorgers who seek to destroy our men and women of God.   I'm not out to convince you of anything.   As I said, I respect how you feel and I mean it, more than it may appear.    I've been in Ministry and around so many Minsiters that I've learned....... a lot.   Not all, but a lot.    

Keep up the good work you're doing in your Church.   We need more like you.


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## momi (Aug 31, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> It takes a very special calling.
> 
> _*My annointing would be laying hands and pulling weaves; they may enter the Church door pulled together, but they'd be leaving pulled apart. *_
> 
> Ummmm, I gather I don't have the 'special calling'...


 
I dont care what anybody says - that was funny.


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## Shimmie (Aug 31, 2009)

momi said:


> I dont care what anybody says - that was funny.


 
Ummmm, do I rate an 'invite' to your Church.   I promise to be on my very best behaviour...  

_Maybe...... _


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## Raspberry (Aug 31, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> It takes a very special calling.
> 
> My annointing would be laying hands and pulling weaves; they may enter the Church door pulled together, but they'd be leaving pulled apart.
> 
> Ummmm, I gather I don't have the 'special calling'...



 Now pullin weaves is just fightin dirty


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## Shimmie (Aug 31, 2009)

Raspberry said:


> Now pullin weaves is just fightin dirty


 
  Ye'ahh, but see 'Wha 'had happen was'...  

See the Bible do say dat' 'Your sin will find you out...'   So, by pulling off that weave, she be found out.  Tryn' to be cute, up in the man of God's face and what not.  

You gotta let the bold sistas' know, dey place.  

All jokes aside, it truly takes a strong and beautiful woman to be a Pastor's wife.   She has to guard him in prayer and not just from silly women... women pretending to be 'Godly' yet have a hidden agenda;

_5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. 
6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive "Silly Women" laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, 
7 Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth._ 

_2 Timothy 3:5-7_

A Pastor's wife is truly one of a special character and gift to her husband, their Church and especially to the Kingdom of God.  :Rose:


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## MissMeWithThatIsh (Sep 9, 2009)

I'm glad I found this.

Good article... fresh perspective and it's good that she acknowledged what was almost a struggle for her and her husband. I'm glad everything is better for them


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