# Anyone else ready for God to send their mate?



## Belle Du Jour (Sep 14, 2005)

I was going through a phase when I felt like I was SO not ready to meet my husband yet.  I felt that I had a lot of growing up to do before I became that Proverbs 31 diva that most Christian women strive to be.  

But now (after a year of feeling that way), I've been realizing that having a partner to go through this life with would be wonderful.  I think I'm ready for God to place him in my path.  God has been ordering my steps for the past 4 years, and I'm finally headed in the direction that He wants me to go in.  I feel that my soulmate would help me along that journey.  Lately, I've been feeling this strange feeling that something good is on the way.  

Does anyone else want to seek God on this mate thing?  I'm doing my own 21-day challenge to purify my heart and mind from lust (I chose 21 days because I read it takes 21 days to create a new behavior).  Maybe if we get enough people interested, we can set a date and time to pray collectively as a group for God to open up the doors to our love lives, and to help us who are waiting to be patient and faithful.

Lemme know whatcha think,

TIA.


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## beyondcute (Sep 14, 2005)

Im no sure that EVERYONE will find a mate in 21 days but I think its a good challenege to keep our minds and heearts pure. Good idea


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## SisterGirl* (Sep 15, 2005)

classimami713 said:
			
		

> I was going through a phase when I felt like I was SO not ready to meet my husband yet.  I felt that I had a lot of growing up to do before I became that Proverbs 31 diva that most Christian women strive to be.
> 
> But now (after a year of feeling that way), I've been realizing that having a partner to go through this life with would be wonderful.  I think I'm ready for God to place him in my path.  God has been ordering my steps for the past 4 years, and I'm finally headed in the direction that He wants me to go in.  I feel that my soulmate would help me along that journey.  Lately, I've been feeling this strange feeling that something good is on the way.
> 
> ...



May I make the suggestion that the 21 days include several days of fasting and scripture reading..


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## mahogany (Sep 15, 2005)

Oh wow I have been doing this 21 day thing too, but not just to recieve a mate. Bascally by the advice of my Spiritual parents, I have been waking up at 6AM every morning just PRAISING the Lord. This year is definitely a turning point for me and I have been trying to prepare myself for what lays ahead. I know exactly how you feel Classimami, just keep following GOD's instructions and I know your Husband will find you.


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## Belle Du Jour (Sep 15, 2005)

beyondcute said:
			
		

> Im no sure that EVERYONE will find a mate in 21 days but I think its a good challenege to keep our minds and heearts pure. Good idea



The 21 day thing wasn't to find a man.  LOL, I don't think you can put God on a schedule!  It was, as I stated, for mind and heart purification.


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## FlowerHair (Sep 15, 2005)

Hi, I'm never in this forum but when I saw this topic I just couldn't resist telling you my little story.
I have prayed seriously twice in my life. Both times I got what I wanted! 
The second time was this summer. I took the time to pray sincerely for the man in this life that is right for me. Less than two months later I met my boyfriend (if that's the appropriate word for a man almost 40 years old LOL)!!! I have been single on and off for these past 10 years - meaning I haven't had a long term relationship for 10 years. Yes, you heard me! So it's not an everyday thing that I meet someone I connect with on all levels...
We have so many things in common; backgrounds, almost the same age (I'm 34), same build sort of...same views on relationships and the future. So far so good!


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## Belle Du Jour (Sep 15, 2005)

FlowerHair said:
			
		

> Hi, I'm never in this forum but when I saw this topic I just couldn't resist telling you my little story.
> I have prayed seriously twice in my life. Both times I got what I wanted!
> The second time was this summer. I took the time to pray sincerely for the man in this life that is right for me. Less than two months later I met my boyfriend (if that's the appropriate word for a man almost 40 years old LOL)!!! I have been single on and off for these past 10 years - meaning I haven't had a long term relationship for 10 years. Yes, you heard me! So it's not an everyday thing that I meet someone I connect with on all levels...
> We have so many things in common; backgrounds, almost the same age (I'm 34), same build sort of...same views on relationships and the future. So far so good!



Flower Hair,
I can't imagine a beautiful girl like you being single for 10 years!  Anyway, congratulations on your relationship.  Thanks for sharing.


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## newslady (Sep 15, 2005)

Wow, I really need this post. I prayed for so long for myself to change and prepare myself for *that special someone.* 
After a year+ of therapy for my issues, I met someone when I wasn't looking. In fact, I was pretty cold to him when we first met. But he pursued me anyway.
Two months later, I'm feeling things for this man that I haven't felt for someone in years. Keep in mind, I've been single for 5 years, my ex cheated on me in front of my best friend and most recently I've been involved in *improper* relationships.(Use your imagination on that one) 

My new friend is EVERYTHING I prayed for in a man. He's invited me to church (calls to wake me up on Sunday a.m.), I've spent time with his parents, he's sensitive -  but not feminine. (I've had enuf of those guys!).
So my prayer is simply, "Lord let me know what he's supposed to be in my life." Is he a friend? A boyfriend? A husband?

Most of all, I'm taking from this experience - you can't expect men to have their acts together when we still have so many issues ourselves.
It wasn't until I was thru with therapy and changed my ways - that God let me and this man meet.
When I was *fooling* around with other people, yet longing for MY OWN MAN, my therapist reminded me God wasn't going to send someone into my mess of a life. God looks out for his children. And now that I've cleaned up my act, I'm finally dating someone *NORMAL.*
Hope that helps someone.
Be blessed ya'll!


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## Blossssom (Sep 15, 2005)

Don't put a timetable on it; don't look took too hard, either.

If it's meant to be, you and he will find each other.  Keep the faith.

However, what's meant to be, will be.  Doesn't Paul say something about being single and happy in the Lord?


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## locabouthair (Sep 15, 2005)

Blossssom said:
			
		

> Don't put a timetable on it; don't look took too hard, either.
> 
> If it's meant to be, you and he will find each other.  Keep the faith.
> 
> However, what's meant to be, will be.  Doesn't Paul say something about being single and happy in the Lord?



i know there is a part in corinthians where they said a virgin is more focused on God than a married woman who focuses on her husband. And they said nothing is wrong with being married but married people will have trouble.


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## Blossssom (Sep 16, 2005)

locabouthair said:
			
		

> And they said nothing is wrong with being married but married people will have trouble.



Um hmmmm... I believe this is the reason or one of the reasons why Paul said what he said...


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## lovechic (Sep 16, 2005)

* This is a GREAT thread! *


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## phynestone (Sep 16, 2005)

newslady said:
			
		

> Wow, I really need this post. I prayed for so long for myself to change and prepare myself for *that special someone.*
> Most of all, I'm taking from this experience - you can't expect men to have their acts together when we still have so many issues ourselves.
> It wasn't until I was thru with therapy and changed my ways - that God let me and this man meet.
> When I was *fooling* around with other people, yet longing for MY OWN MAN, my therapist reminded me God wasn't going to send someone into my mess of a life. God looks out for his children. And now that I've cleaned up my act, I'm finally dating someone *NORMAL.*
> ...



This sounds right on target for me! Very thought provoking.


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## Belle Du Jour (Sep 16, 2005)

Newslady, thanks for sharing your story!  I know that what's for me is for me.  I just hope it's coming soon!

Blossom, I agree with you.  I'm not looking per se.  But I am hoping that it's coming soon.  Before I didn't think I was ready.  Now I do.  Girl, I'm trying to get to that happy place where I give God thanks for everything, because I know it all works for my good.


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## shunemite (Sep 16, 2005)

newslady said:
			
		

> Wow, I really need this post. I prayed for so long for myself to change and prepare myself for *that special someone.*
> After a year+ of therapy for my issues, I met someone when I wasn't looking. In fact, I was pretty cold to him when we first met. But he pursued me anyway.
> Two months later, I'm feeling things for this man that I haven't felt for someone in years. Keep in mind, I've been single for 5 years, my ex cheated on me in front of my best friend and most recently I've been involved in *improper* relationships.(Use your imagination on that one)
> 
> ...



Wow, what a nice testimony, encourages me a lot. May I ask, was the therapy through your church or did you have to pay for it? I think I want to go to Christian therapy but I dont know where to begin. Please keep us posted on your new friend!


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## newslady (Sep 16, 2005)

Shunemite - 
My therapy was available thru my job for a moderate co-pay. Thank God my therapist is a Christian who's devoted to his wife. Which was another shining example of marriage I needed to see and hear about.
Sadly, I know a number of people involved in affairs and cheating on their spouses. So that was really eating away @ my confidence in finding a man of my own.
And my new *friend* has been in therapy b4 b/c of a past drinking problem. He was open with his issues on our FIRST DATE which led me to be just as open.
We've already discussed that IF we get married, we'd get counseling first.

Personally, I had a bad experience trusting my former pastor with my business that his wife spread and could have risked my job at the time. So I prefer private/non-church affiliated therapy. Plus, I have a hi profile job (hence my username) so I'm very private.

Hope this helps!


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## Bublnbrnsuga (Sep 17, 2005)

I want to lend you ladies some encouragement:

For YEARS I was single. I wondered what the heck was wrong with me. I thought I was attractive, so why was no one asking me out? All of my associates had male friends or boyfriends but me, none. Needless to say my self esteem was shot to the curb. I cried, cried and cried some more. Why wasn't I desireable? Why was I lonely? Well someone said something to me that sticks with me until this day. Here's the scenario:

Picture yourself going in a jewelry store. Now, there are some items that anyone can touch, handle,put down, and walk away from. Then you have the items that are in the case and if you ask for them, you can handle them too; however, there are those jewels in the back of the store that you have to make an appointment to see. The jeweler holds those items with the highest respect. This is how God sees His daughters- as rare, special jewels, so only those who respect themselves, following God's Word and keeping a relationship with Him are kept in waiting until someone worthy of that woman's attention comes along

I remember when I used to complain about being single and my cousin told me something similar. She told me that maybe God is preserving me from all of the drama and failing relationships so I can be ready for the real man in my life- she was so right!

I am now 26 and will be married in February. Trust me ladies, I never thought I would see the day that I would be really getting married,but God has rewarded me with someone so wonderful. I used to envy all of the girls that were out doing everything with these dudes, having boyfriend after boyfriend, but those same girls are still in dead end relationships, still doing everything for someone who's not thinking of committing to them. Not to sound boastful at all, but now I have something that many were wondering if I would ever get ( some folks told me I should be a nun  )and now I have it and they don't.


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## sithembile (Sep 17, 2005)

That was a beautiful testimony, Bubln, as single Christian women we need to encourage one another to wait on the Lord, and remember that as we wait will renew our strength. The longer we wait, the more strength we will have to resist the devil when he offers us something that looks good now, but that is not of God. I want to be married, but I also want to be ready spiritually and practically for my mate. I will wait on the Lord!


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## Supergirl (Sep 17, 2005)

sithembile said:
			
		

> That was a beautiful testimony, Bubln, as single Christian women we need to encourage one another to wait on the Lord, and remember that as we wait will renew our strength. The longer we wait, the more strength we will have to resist the devil when he offers us something that looks good now, but that is not of God. I want to be married, but I also want to be ready spiritually and practically for my mate. I will wait on the Lord!



As hard as it is, you are so right about waiting.  Waiting is hard work, but so worth it.  Waiting made me a better wife while I didn't really know that's what the waiting was doing.  

If I am right, and I know I am--most of you have said prayers about your future mate and marriage.  In order for you to receive the kind of thing you prayed for and so much more (exceeding abundantly above what you've asked or thought) waiting is part of the process.  

When I got married 8 weeks ago, one of my first thoughts was that I was glad for the waiting.  You have to be mature, built up, and a woman of substance to have the kind of marriage that God wants us to have.  And I can now tell that many times while I was waiting, but didn't want to be waiting--I totally was not ready to be anyone's wife.  

Anyone who is in the waiting stage, your season may be approaching or it might still be a ways away, but whatever the case your season is the best time for you.  God has a preferred time and a preferred method for you.


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## ROZELIDA_80 (Sep 17, 2005)

Bublnbrnsuga said:
			
		

> I want to lend you ladies some encouragement:
> 
> For YEARS I was single. I wondered what the heck was wrong with me. I thought I was attractive, so why was no one asking me out? All of my associates had male friends or boyfriends but me, none. Needless to say my self esteem was shot to the curb. I cried, cried and cried some more. Why wasn't I desireable? Why was I lonely? Well someone said something to me that sticks with me until this day. Here's the scenario:
> 
> ...



Thanks for this post.  ITA it is a beautifal testimony and encouragement to me.


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## Dare~to~Dream (Sep 17, 2005)

Bublnbrnsuga said:
			
		

> I want to lend you ladies some encouragement:
> 
> For YEARS I was single. I wondered what the heck was wrong with me. I thought I was attractive, so why was no one asking me out? All of my associates had male friends or boyfriends but me, none. Needless to say my self esteem was shot to the curb. I cried, cried and cried some more. Why wasn't I desireable? Why was I lonely? Well someone said something to me that sticks with me until this day. Here's the scenario:
> 
> ...



*Wow...so inspirational!  I can relate to this post in so many ways-thanks for the words of encouragement! *


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## phynestone (Sep 17, 2005)

More stories please! This is a nice thread.


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## shunemite (Sep 18, 2005)

This 21 day thing sounds like a really good idea. I don't wanna date for a long time but I'd like to do it just to purify my thoughts and leave these BET romance novels alone! When do y'all wanna start?

Thanks *newslady*, I'll call my church next week and see who they recommend since I'm not really high profile. I've been putting off therapy for too long. By the way, my dad and all his friends are pastors, and yes, they can tell your business to spouses, friends, or even the congregation during a sermon!


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## sithembile (Sep 19, 2005)

Any more testimonies?


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## Belle Du Jour (Sep 24, 2005)

Bublnbrnsuga said:
			
		

> I want to lend you ladies some encouragement:
> 
> For YEARS I was single. I wondered what the heck was wrong with me. I thought I was attractive, so why was no one asking me out? All of my associates had male friends or boyfriends but me, none. Needless to say my self esteem was shot to the curb. I cried, cried and cried some more. Why wasn't I desireable? Why was I lonely? Well someone said something to me that sticks with me until this day. Here's the scenario:
> 
> ...



Thanks for sharing BBS!  I know that I'm not meant to be one of those people who are in relationship after relationship after relationship.  I'm trying to get right for "the one!"


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## Belle Du Jour (Sep 24, 2005)

Supergirl said:
			
		

> As hard as it is, you are so right about waiting.  Waiting is hard work, but so worth it.  Waiting made me a better wife while I didn't really know that's what the waiting was doing.
> 
> If I am right, and I know I am--most of you have said prayers about your future mate and marriage.  In order for you to receive the kind of thing you prayed for and so much more (exceeding abundantly above what you've asked or thought) waiting is part of the process.
> 
> ...


Thank you for this, SG.  And congratulations on your marriage!


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## Belle Du Jour (Sep 24, 2005)

Actually BBS, that part about the jewelry store reminds me of something Michelle McKinney Hammond said in a few of her books: "don't throw your pearls to the swine."
We're all valuable, and sometimes I think guys see what we're worth, and they bypass because they're not ready.  I've been told before that I'm the kind of girl that you marry (not shack up with) and that not all guys are ready for that.  But I know God is not dead, and when it's time, he'll arrive.


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## firecracker (Sep 24, 2005)

Great thread and testimonies.  BBS it truly is great you found someone after waiting.  Please refrain from making that dreaded statement "now I have something they don't have".  Tommorrow is not promised.  I am not being negative nor wishing anything negative in your upcoming nuptial.  I have an old co-worker that voiced this with negative ending results.  If you pray for something and get it remember this is the day that the Lord has made, be glad and rejoice in it.  Forget the naysayers and showing someone wrong or right just BE.


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## Lucia (Sep 25, 2005)

Really inspirational you ladies are deep


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## shalom (Oct 10, 2005)

Good thread.

I still a praying for my soul mate and may God have mercy as I am not getting in younger.
Can someone PM me and let me know what the 21 purification is, never heard of it before.

Thanks,


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## Bublnbrnsuga (Oct 10, 2005)

latia said:
			
		

> Great thread and testimonies.  BBS it truly is great you found someone after waiting.  Please refrain from making that dreaded statement "now I have something they don't have".  Tommorrow is not promised.  I am not being negative nor wishing anything negative in your upcoming nuptial.  I have an old co-worker that voiced this with negative ending results.  If you pray for something and get it remember this is the day that the Lord has made, be glad and rejoice in it.  Forget the naysayers and showing someone wrong or right just BE.



I wasn't trying to sound boastful at all,but the fact does remain that I still have what others thought I would never have. The same ones who talked about why I didn't have someone are the ones wondering how this all happened. I have someone who loves me and has decided to make me his wife. I know tomorrow is not promised, but if something should happen between us, I can say that God allowed to me to experience true love through a man.


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## shellzfoshizzle (Oct 12, 2005)

Wow.  Another great thread!  This is SO inspirational to me in so many ways.  Even though it was already mentioned, BBS and Newslady, your posts were great.  I have too been single for a long time and although I am still young (20years old) most of my friends are dating and messing around.  Although messing around isn't my cup of tea (I've learned from past mistakes) I would like a guy to be with and experience life with.  Some of my peers are even in serious relationships.  Sometimes I see that, and even people in public, I am envious.  When I read Newslady's post, it was such a realization to me.  My life isn't together right now.  I may be moving, changing jobs, transferring college, still figuring out who I am, what I want to be, where I'm going to work, etc.  It makes sense to me that God isn't going to send me anyone when I have mess in my life. God looks out for his children and I thank Him for that.  It is going to take time but I need to focus on myself and my future before I can focus on someone else.  Isn't there a saying, "Someone always comes in your life when you least expect it"?  

Thanks ladies!


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## Whisper (Oct 12, 2005)

shellzfoshizzle said:
			
		

> My life isn't together right now.  I may be moving, changing jobs, transferring college, still figuring out who I am, what I want to be, where I'm going to work, etc.  It makes sense to me that God isn't going to send me anyone when I have mess in my life. God looks out for his children and I thank Him for that.  It is going to take time but I need to focus on myself and my future before I can focus on someone else.  Isn't there a saying, "Someone always comes in your life when you least expect it"?
> 
> Thanks ladies!



I'm feeling you right now...


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## firecracker (Oct 13, 2005)

Bublnbrnsuga said:
			
		

> I wasn't trying to sound boastful at all,but *the fact does remain that I still have what others thought I would never have.* The same ones who talked about why I didn't have someone are the ones wondering how this all happened. I have someone who loves me and has decided to make me his wife. I know tomorrow is not promised, but if something should happen between us, I can say that God allowed to me to experience true love through a man.


 
  I didn't think you were boasting or sounding that way.  Others/Naysayers thought and issues with your prior or present relationship status shouldn't be thought of in the day that the Lord has made.  Please don't allow the naysayers to turn your true happiness into "I showed you didn't I".  Those people didn't know what God had in store for you .


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## fivefoursweetie (Oct 14, 2005)

God is so awesome.  This thread is so on time.  I recently moved to Illinois (about 2 months ago) and I'm settled in here (for the most part), but I definatley wish I had the King that God has for me.  Me and my brother talk a lot about it because he is a single guy (in NJ) and he says how hard it is to find a genuine Christ-loving female.  We both encourage each other though, and are being patient waiting on God.  I have been personally deeping my relationship with God during tis time of waiting and that has helped tremendously.  You guys may want to check out this website: www.soulmatefilm.com


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## Belle Du Jour (Oct 15, 2005)

fivefoursweetie said:
			
		

> God is so awesome.  This thread is so on time.  I recently moved to Illinois (about 2 months ago) and I'm settled in here (for the most part), but I definatley wish I had the King that God has for me.  Me and my brother talk a lot about it because he is a single guy (in NJ) and he says how hard it is to find a genuine Christ-loving female.  We both encourage each other though, and are being patient waiting on God.  I have been personally deeping my relationship with God during tis time of waiting and that has helped tremendously.  You guys may want to check out this website: www.soulmatefilm.com



The video on that website you mentioned looks interesting.  Did you buy it?  If so, is it any good?


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## fivefoursweetie (Oct 16, 2005)

classimami713 said:
			
		

> The video on that website you mentioned looks interesting.  Did you buy it?  If so, is it any good?


 No I didn't buy it yet...my brother just told me about it a couple days ago. but he ordered it and said he will be receiving it anyday, so i will keep you posted once he gets it


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## Iammoney (Oct 16, 2005)

i would like to join 
i really like this thread


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