# I'm just going to ask...What is a Christian?



## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

How do you define a Christian? Do you know one when you see one?  How do we discern a Christian from a non-Christian?

What does "the world" consider a Christian to be?

I am asking all of this because I don't want to speak out of terms.  As many have mentioned, you don't know the "heart" of someone though you can see their actions.  Is that enough to discern whether or not they are a Christian (in the case of maybe wanting to date?). 

I know we are not to judge but is saying whether someone is a Christian or not judging?  Don't we need to make this "decision" in some cases?

Just looking for some loving discussion around the topic.


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## tailormade84 (May 13, 2009)

_How do you define a Christian? _Christian = someone who believes Jesus Christ is their Lord and Savior *and lives* like Jesus Christ is their Lord and Savior

_Do you know one when you see one?_ No

_How do we discern a Christian from a non-Christian? _See the first response - but often times I can't because I don't know everything that that person does/will do

_What does "the world" consider a Christian to be?_ someone who wears a Jesus piece 
_
Is that enough to discern whether or not they are a Christian (in the case of maybe wanting to date?) _Actions do say a lot. I thinking wisdom, prudence and discernment are necessary to discern the truth behind actions. 
_
I know we are not to judge but is saying whether someone is a Christian or not judging?_ I won't tell someone if they are a Christian or not, its not my place. BUT I am intitled to my opinion.... 

_Don't we need to make this "decision" in some cases?_ No, but you can decide who you do and do not want to hang around. We called to love everybody, but chill with everybody. Some folks may be a hindrance to you, but no problem for others. Leave them to the others. 


Real talk, as my pastor used to say "I don't know your heart, but i can see your feet." Folks who believe fire can burn don't just sit up in a burning building - they run with all effort. Likewise, folks who believe Jesus Christ is Lord and King will *strive to* live in a way that profess such. They don't have to be perfect, but they do have to be striving.


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## LovinLocks (May 13, 2009)

"Christ"ian = a footstep follower of Christ.  It will be evident in not what is said, but in what is seen as in how the individual lives his or her life.


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## Allandra (May 13, 2009)

LovinLocks said:


> "Christ"ian = a footstep follower of Christ.  It will be evident in not what is said, but in what is seen as in how the individual lives his or her life.



What she said.


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## divya (May 13, 2009)

The other ladies have already answered this so eloquently...

A Christian is someone who believes on the Lord Jesus Christ as Savior. And as the Bible says, _you will know them by their fruits._ *Matt. 7:16. *


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

So, let me ask you ladies this...

Say I am trying to set up my friend on a date.  She asks me "Is he a Christian?"

Is the answer ALWAYS "I don't know." ?

Or can one answer that question without judging?


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

This is a very thorough and terrific response.  Thank you!



tailormade84 said:


> _How do you define a Christian? _Christian = someone who believes Jesus Christ is their Lord and Savior *and lives* like Jesus Christ is their Lord and Savior
> 
> _Do you know one when you see one?_ No
> 
> ...


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## divya (May 13, 2009)

hairlove said:


> So, let me ask you ladies this...
> 
> Say I am trying to set up my friend on a date.  She asks me "Is he a Christian?"
> *
> ...



That's the right answer.  If he says he is, then you can say "He says he is a Christian."  That way, you are not making an assumption about him until you can truly determine whether the man is or is not living a Christian life.

Contrary to popular thought, judging is not necessarily a bad thing. The term has many definitions, and we have to judge (form opinions) on plenty issues in life.


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## hurricane (May 13, 2009)

A christian is someone who believes in Jesus Christ and follows his teachings ( commandments). You will only know if someone is a Christian if you spend some sort of time with them. Then you can discern if they are or not. Not everyone that cries Lord, Lord will be saved. You will know them by there fruit as diya said in an earlier post. 

Christians get accused of judging all the time. I think that this is a weapon used by the enemy. Not all christians judge. Not all christians are hypocrits. There are bad doctors called quacks and good doctors. When we are sick, we don't focus on those quacks we focus on getting the care we need.

We can't base our relationship on what other christians do. We have access to the Word of God. The Apostle Paul stated that he would let nothing separate him from the love of God. Many don't read the Word. That is why they do things that we questions if they are a Christian or not. And this gives the whole body of Christ a bad name because they are unlearned in the Word of God.


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## PaperClip (May 13, 2009)

LovinLocks said:


> "Christ"ian = *a footstep follower of Christ.* It will be evident in not what is said, but in what is seen as in how the individual lives his or her life.


 
Haven't heard it said like that... nor have I heard it said better....


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## Shimmie (May 13, 2009)

You know, this is a very good question and it has me thinking.  

Almost anyone and anything is calling themselves Chrisitans, yet.....

One thing is certain, it's not a label neither is it a fad, that you toss to the side and/or hide when 'said' Chrisitan is around those they fear will disapprove of them.  

Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I'll be ashamed of you."

Christians are followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, and they change not, neither from foolishness nor by fears of non believing peers.


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

divya said:


> That's the right answer.  If he says he is, then you can say "He says he is a Christian."  *That way, you are not making an assumption about him until you can truly determine whether the man is or is not living a Christian life.*
> 
> Contrary to popular thought, judging is not necessarily a bad thing. The term has many definitions, and we have to judge (form opinions) on plenty issues in life.



Great! This makes perfect sense to me.  What if you know someone really well.  How do you determine if they are living a Christian life?  To me, that says that in some way or another, you can decipher (for yourself) whether YOU consider someone to be a Christian. 

I agree about judging as well.  Sometimes it gets a bad rep but people are quick to jump and consider someone "judging" when you say something that they disagree with.  

So, I feel if I ever were to say whether someone is a Christian or not, I am judging, even if I know the person EXTREMELY well.


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

I get your point!

I hope you all understand that in no way am I seeking to understand this so that I can walk around look at people and say "Christian" "not Christian."  That's not it AT ALL. 

I am only thinking about when I'm speaking of people who are close to me or people I am consider getting close or other situations of that nature in order to explain situations or issues or even describe the person.

For example, in my divorcee thread.  I mentioned how the person met her first husband in church.  I did not say that he was a Christian or that she was a Christian.  I know her really well and knew him well (during their dating and marriage) and I have my opinion on that but I feel as though to say would be to judge.  



hurricane said:


> A christian is someone who believes in Jesus Christ and follows his teachings ( commandments). You will only know if someone is a Christian if you spend some sort of time with them. Then you can discern if they are or not. Not everyone that cries Lord, Lord will be saved. You will know them by there fruit as diya said in an earlier post.
> 
> Christians get accused of judging all the time. I think that this is a weapon used by the enemy. Not all christians judge. Not all christians are hypocrits. There are bad doctors called quacks and good doctors. When we are sick, we don't focus on those quacks we focus on getting the care we need.
> 
> We can't base our relationship on what other christians do. We have access to the Word of God. The Apostle Paul stated that he would let nothing separate him from the love of God. Many don't read the Word. That is why they do things that we questions if they are a Christian or not. And this gives the whole body of Christ a bad name because they are unlearned in the Word of God.


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> You know, this is a very good question and it has me thinking.
> 
> *Almost anyone and anything is calling themselves Chrisitans*, yet.....
> 
> ...



That's so interesting b/c I great up going to church at school and at home and I never considered myself a Christian.  I can't remember how I thought back then but I think there was some guilt and lack of understanding and I just did not feel as though I measured up to being a Christian - even though I didn't know what a Christian was.  I think many people don't and so they think simply if they believe in God and Jesus that they are a Christian.


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## tailormade84 (May 13, 2009)

hairlove said:


> So, let me ask you ladies this...
> 
> Say I am trying to set up my friend on a date.  She asks me "Is he a Christian?"
> 
> ...



When asked that question I would reply "From what I can tell, I think he is" because the truth is "you don't know", but you can give your honest opinion and then provide some evidence of why you believe so (i.e. he lives a lifestyle that reflects a dedication to Jesus Christ and His ways...etc etc). 

I am guessing that you are trying to hook up these two people because they have similar standards/beliefs on what it means to be a Christian, so the evidence you provide should be sufficient. If they ask, "why did you say 'you think so'" just explain that we can never know someones heart but their actions can reveal what is in their heart. In the end, its up to the other girl to decide whether or not this man is "a Christian she can chill with" (and let her know that  )

HTH


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

tailormade84 said:


> When asked that question I would reply "From what I can tell, I think he is" because the truth is "you don't know", but you can give your honest opinion and then provide some evidence of why you believe so (i.e. he lives a lifestyle that reflects a dedication to Jesus Christ and his ways...etc etc).
> 
> I am guessing that you are trying to hook up these two people because they have similar standards/beliefs on what it means to be a Christian, so the evidence you provide should be sufficient. If they ask, "why did you say 'you think so'" just explain that we can never know someones heart but their actions can reveal what is in their heart. In the end, its up to the other girl to decide whether or not this man is "a Christian she can chill with" (and let her know that  )
> 
> HTH



It was hypothetical but yes, you hit the nail on the head and I like your response.  I guess it really can be all about *how* we say things.  I like the "I think..." because then it is based on your opinion of what you know verses a more exact statement which could be more considered a judgment.


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## PaperClip (May 13, 2009)

hairlove said:


> It was hypothetical but yes, you hit the nail on the head and I like your response. I guess it really can be all about *how* we say things. *I like the "I think..." because then it is based on your opinion of what you know verses a more exact statement which could be more considered a judgment.*


 
This is one of my LHCF Pet peeves. The "I think" phrase is a waste of keystrokes to me. I said therefore it is my opinion. My opinion can be INFORMED or UNINFORMED or MISINFORMED but it is still my opinion.

Yet there are posts where I say "I think" because it's what I think but yet my opinion is not yet as informed enough for me to say what I know FOR SURE. Also, the "I think" softens the blow on when I know I'm saying something unpopular or controversial. 

Judgement has been defined, redefined, overdefined, underdefined so much on this board... sigh... 

I know... off topic but I had to relax, relate, and release that.


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

FoxyScholar said:


> This is one of my LHCF Pet peeves. The "I think" phrase is a waste of keystrokes to me. I said therefore it is my opinion. My opinion can be INFORMED or UNINFORMED or MISINFORMED but it is still my opinion.
> 
> Yet there are posts where I say "I think" because it's what I think but yet my opinion is not yet as informed enough for me to say what I know FOR SURE. Also, the "I think" softens the blow on when I know I'm saying something unpopular or controversial.
> 
> ...



Foxy - Are you saying then, that for you, you'd just say "Yes, he is a Christian." or "No, he is not a Christian."


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## PaperClip (May 13, 2009)

hairlove said:


> Foxy - Are you saying then, that for you, you'd just say "Yes, he is a Christian." or "No, he is not a Christian."


 





My bad.... I took the subject line and ran with it in terms of the core of the question. I don't know about the who that is being discussed. I'll have to read the thread in its full context.

ETA: ok... I read your initial post....

So in a dating situation, if I want to know if the person I'm dating/interested in, how do I know if he's a Christian?

Well, let me say it like this: I think it matters to ask the RIGHT questions... and do A LOT MORE listening and watching than talking. So instead of me asking "are you a Christian", I'm watching and listening to your language (verbal and non-verbal), your attitude as you're driving, what your talk is about (or isn't), your choices... that's huge... one's choices.... their pattern of behavior. The longer you let a person talk about him (or her)self, they eventually tell on themselves.... that's across the board.


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

Foxy,

I think you may have still misunderstood my post.  This wasn't about me finding a dating partner for myself or anyone - that was just a hypothetical situation.  There is no one for me to ask those things to...

My question is just general.  What is a Christian?  for the sake of situations where you are trying to describe someone to someone else or even to yourself.

Does that make sense? I hope so.  Would love your opinion. 



FoxyScholar said:


> My bad.... I took the subject line and ran with it in terms of the core of the question. I don't know about the who that is being discussed. I'll have to read the thread in its full context.
> 
> ETA: ok... I read your initial post....
> 
> ...


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## PaperClip (May 13, 2009)

hairlove said:


> Foxy,
> 
> I think you may have still misunderstood my post. This wasn't about me finding a dating partner for myself or anyone - that was just a hypothetical situation. There is no one for me to ask those things to...
> 
> ...


 
Ooohhhh!!!! Sigh... that's what I get for drive-by posting!!!! I'm sorry.... 

I suppose I go back to my first post where the poster used the phrase "footstep follower of the Lord Jesus Christ".

I don't "announce" that I am (a) Christian in general terms, unless it's a political/religious conversation to indicate a particular perspective.

But day to day, I hope that my faith shines through my attitude, my work ethic, my choices. So I've not been asked if I'm a Christian, but I have had people say or notice something "different" about me. I'm not like everybody else. What's different about you, they ask? That's my opening to say "Jesus"....

Even the phrase "footstep follower of Christ" convicts me because lately I have been missing my place to walk in footstep with the Lord... to walk in footstep means to walk in RELATIONSHIP with the Lord... and I've not been doing my part in my relationship with the Lord. He's so romantic toward me and I've just been neglecting my Lord so I gotta get back so I can get back in footstep with Him....

I hope I'm in the ballpark now re. your topic!


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

You're getting there...

My question is more about "other people."  (I know and I don't mean walking around constantly picking out who's saved and who isn't - not my point at all.  )

My hypothetical again was say I wanted to set up my Christian friend on a date with someone I've known all my life.  My Christian friend will more than likely ask me "Hey, is he a Christian."  Then what am I supposed to say?  We know Christians by their actions.  So, based on my own knowledge, if I say "No, he is not a Christian."  am I judging him because I don't know his heart? 

My concern is sort of what you mentioned before - How do you say if someone is a Christian or not - without judging.  Of course, it only seems you're judging one if you say they are "not" a Christian.  Is it a case of good judging vs bad judging.

Get it?  What is the RIGHT thing to say and the RIGHT way to say it? Is there?

I don't know anyone's heart - I only know their actions and that's all I have to go on - either way, couldn't I be wrong?

It's a big circle.  I'm tired.  



FoxyScholar said:


> Ooohhhh!!!! Sigh... that's what I get for drive-by posting!!!! I'm sorry....
> 
> I suppose I go back to my first post where the poster used the phrase "footstep follower of the Lord Jesus Christ".
> 
> ...


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## PaperClip (May 13, 2009)

hairlove said:


> You're getting there...
> 
> My question is more about "other people." (I know and I don't mean walking around constantly picking out who's saved and who isn't - not my point at all. )
> 
> ...


 
LOL!!!! Ok... I'm gonna get there!! LOL!

Another rule of thumb: Ask the question you are asked and can answer truthfully.

So the scenario you describe: if I were asked that question your friend would likely ask, I would tell her "you know what, he's the best person that can answer that question so you should ask him directly". And this is going to require trust on your friend's part, meaning that you would not hook her up with some knucklehead heathen, right? So an addition to your response could be something like this: well, from what I have observed and talked to him, he (and keep it factual) attends church regularly and I have not observed any destructive behaviors, etc. In other words, again, you wouldn't hook up your friend with some crazy fool so focus on the things/reasons that make you think the two of them would hit it off. So the attention is no longer on his Christian status but an opportunity to connect and she (your friend) can make her own choices and come to her own conclusions.


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

You got there!!

Thank you for your thoughts.  I like this idea as well.  



FoxyScholar said:


> LOL!!!! Ok... I'm gonna get there!! LOL!
> 
> Another rule of thumb: Ask the question you are asked and can answer truthfully.
> 
> So the scenario you describe: if I were asked that question your friend would likely ask, I would tell her "you know what, he's the best person that can answer that question so you should ask him directly". And this is going to require trust on your friend's part, meaning that you would not hook her up with some knucklehead heathen, right? So an addition to your response could be something like this: well, from what I have observed and talked to him, he (and keep it factual) attends church regularly and I have not observed any destructive behaviors, etc. In other words, again, you wouldn't hook up your friend with some crazy fool so focus on the things/reasons that make you think the two of them would hit it off. So the attention is no longer on his Christian status but an opportunity to connect and she (your friend) can make her own choices and come to her own conclusions.


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## PaperClip (May 13, 2009)

hairlove said:


> You got there!!
> 
> Thank you for your thoughts. I like this idea as well.


 
Yes! LOL! 

I meant to say this in my earlier post: "Another rule of thumb: ANSWER the question you are asked and can answer truthfully.


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## TrustMeLove (May 13, 2009)

The question has been answered throughout the thread, but I would just like to add that sometimes I can feel if someone is a Christian/believer and follower of Jesus Christ.

Like something inside of us recognizes each other or something. The HS maybe..??

This happened to me in Walmart and when I was in Indianapolis canvassing for the BO campaign.

I just turned around and looked at the people/person and it was an immediate connection. In all instances folks were in regular clothes, not crosses, or bibles in hand.  This had nothing to do with dating etc....Just my experience.

I went up to the people/person and asked where they fellowshipped and each person always had an immediate answer.

Some guy was trying to "talk" to me yesterday...YUCK! And in my attempt to get him to shut up and move on.. I asked him ooo where do you fellowship? His answer.."ugh well you know many places..there *is* a couple I go to..ya know"

Umm..yea RIGHT!

ETA: Now going to church doesn't make you a Christian, but I'm just saying from not knowing one thing about a person for me to zoom in on them with that knowledge..that's pretty amazing.


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

TrustMeLove said:


> Some guy was trying to "talk" to me yesterday...YUCK! And in my attempt to get him to shut up and move on.. I asked him ooo where do you fellowship? His answer.."ugh well you know many places..there *is* a couple I go to..ya know"
> 
> Umm..yea RIGHT!



I love this!  How true that is.  I would agree with you.  In situations like that, you'll get an answer really quickly if you pose that question! I like it - I may have to use that sometime!

What is the rest of that story? Did you just walk away or what? Do tell.



TrustMeLove said:


> ETA: Now going to church doesn't make you a Christian, but I'm just saying from not knowing one thing about a person for me to zoom in on them with that knowledge..that's pretty amazing.



I totally agree with you as I think the majority of us do.


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

LovinLocks said:


> "Christ"ian = a footstep follower of Christ.  It will be evident in not what is said, but in what is seen as in how the individual lives his or her life.



Coming back to this...thinking...ok, there are a LOT of "good people" in the world but we all know that they aren't Christians.  Does it matter? Well, I would say it does if you are evangelizing.  And well, yes, if you are dating and looking for your future husband.

So to get to the nitty gritty, where do you begin?

You try to find things about about them that are Christ-centered?

As was brought up, going to church doesn't make someone a Christian.  Being in the choir doesn't make someone a Christian.  Even saying that you say your prayers every night doesn't make someone a Christian.

So, what things/actions (etc) must you see to believe someone is a Christian?  Since we can't see the heart as God can, we can only see actions (or maybe we will "feel" it in them) so what actions do we need to see?

I hope I'm not beating a dead horse.  Just really trying to get a true understanding.


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## delitefulmane (May 13, 2009)

Personally, I believe the actions of a Christian should speak for their belief. You can more often than not tell a Christian by the way the respond to certain incidents compared to the way a non-Christian would respond to the same incident. Like the song "It's the God in me" says, whatever it is that you think you see in a person will either Christ that dwells within them or something else.


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

delitefulmane said:


> Personally, I believe the actions of a Christian should speak for their belief. You can more often than not tell a Christian by the way the respond to certain incidents compared to the way a non-Christian would respond to the same incident. Like the song "It's the God in me" says, whatever it is that you think you see in a person will either Christ that dwells within them or something else.



This makes good sense.

I think I am trying to define something that can't really be defined.  It's more a combination of things.

I'm just going to take my analytical brain out of it for now!


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## tailormade84 (May 13, 2009)

whoa....what are the actions...
girl....we could write a book......LOL

i basically look for things that mirror what Jesus either did or asked of us (i.e. repent after sinning, humbleness, grace, kindness....etc) and also behavior that God praised (i.e. Ab's faith, David's repentance, Samuel's dedication, etc...)....

you feel me? (im trying not to be so wordy this time


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## inthepink (May 13, 2009)

I totally got you!!! Christians are Christ-like.  Duh.   I do think entirely WAY too much! 



tailormade84 said:


> whoa....what are the actions...
> girl....we could write a book......LOL
> 
> i basically look for things that mirror what Jesus either did or asked of us (i.e. repent after sinning, humbleness, grace, kindness....etc) and also behavior that God praised (i.e. Ab's faith, David's repentance, Samuel's dedication, etc...)....
> ...


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## *Michelle* (May 14, 2009)

tailormade84 said:


> whoa....what are the actions...
> girl....we could write a book......LOL
> 
> i basically look for things that mirror what Jesus either did or asked of us (i.e. repent after sinning, humbleness, grace, kindness....etc) and also behavior that God praised (i.e. Ab's faith, David's repentance, Samuel's dedication, etc...)....
> ...



ITA!

Also,if it is someone I know and they call themselves Christian I look for their behaviors in tough situations. Anybody will be nice, helpful etc when the good times are rolling. But let some tough times come by, it is usually much easier to tell a true Christian.

I'll leave it at that...


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## Laela (May 14, 2009)

Very eloquently said! 

Matthew 7:16... _you will know them by their Fruit!_

Matthew 5:16... _"Let your light so shine before man that they will glorify your Father..."_



LovinLocks said:


> "Christ"ian = a footstep follower of Christ.  It will be evident in not what is said, but in what is seen as in how the individual lives his or her life.


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## inthepink (May 14, 2009)

This has been very helpful. Thank you to everyone for your comments and indulging me in my overboard analysis!


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## Nonie (Jun 28, 2011)

*
When I say that 'I am a Christian', 
I am not shouting that 'I am clean living;
**I'm whispering, 'I was lost, but now I'm found and forgiven.'*






*When I say 'I am a Christian', 
I don't speak of this with pride;   
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.*






*When I say 'I am a Christian', 
I'm not trying to be strong;  
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.*





*
When I say 'I am a Christian', 
I'm not bragging of success; 
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean  my mess.
*





*When I say 'I am a Christian', 
I'm not claiming to be perfect; 
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

**



*

*When I say 'I am a Christian', 
I still feel the sting of pain...
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.
*





*When I say 'I am a Christian', 
I'm not holier than thou;
I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!*

(Original author unknown to me. Received in an email forward.)


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