# Waiting Until Marriage- 100%- Does It Even Exist?



## Ms Red (Nov 15, 2007)

So many times I'll read that saved couples 'slipped up' once or twice before marriage and fornicated.... then they repented, prayed, may have even abstained for a while, and got married. But the point is they GOT TO SAMPLE THE GOODS. erplexed

What about the couple who have been together a long time and are waiting for marriage? But have not been intimate because of their beliefs in God's will for their lives and future marriage???

They don't get to test the waters, per se, before getting married so they don't even know if they're sexually compatible or not.  Even the Christian women I know who are now married will say 'Girl, I couldn't marry that man and not know what he was working with!' erplexed Well ok... 

This is really bothering me. Do these couples even exist? Or do most Christian men and women in relationships have sex prior to marriage or backslide and then 'come to God' again before marriage? 

It's disheartening.


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## dlewis (Nov 15, 2007)

My aunt was 26 when she married the first time and they waited.  I believe they dated for two years.  He had been married before though.

My uncle was much older when he married and they waited.  He said and I quote "How could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God".  

That's true that people don't wait these days.  I so wish I had waited.  I believe my life would have been very different.


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## gone_fishing (Nov 15, 2007)

The first time I got married we waited. We were as pure as the driven snow (well, I was).

But this second time with my SO... we did slip up a time or ten but we are abstaining now. I think the fact that I had already "done it" made it difficult to not want it. So I've done both. It's difficult! But, I have to repent and pray like every day...well...every day he's around me cause i just wanna eat him up so bad but I can't do the touchy touchy till the wedding day.

Sex is not worth hell or knowing I disappointed the GOD who created me and did so much for me....that's what I keep telling myself.


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## PaperClip (Nov 15, 2007)

Yes. I believe that waiting until marriage still exists and it is possible to do. I am...with the Lord's grace.... much grace.... 

I think couples who (know/have decided to get married) yet delay marriage (beyond a "reasonable" amount of time) put themselves into a (deeper) tempetuous situation....


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## gone_fishing (Nov 15, 2007)

RelaxerRehab said:


> Yes. I believe that waiting until marriage still exists and it is possible to do. I am...with the Lord's grace.... much grace....
> 
> I think couples who (know/have decided to get married) yet delay marriage (beyond a "reasonable" amount of time) put themselves into a (deeper) tempetuous situation....


 
I agree! Folks weren't courting for 5 years before marriage back in the day.  I think that's why men wait so long to propose now. It's that why by the cow thing...

But, there are so many women who give it up on the regular that some men don't even want to bother to try to be in a relationship with a woman who is not dishing it out.

That's why it's important to find a mate with spiritual values as important as yours.


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## Ms Red (Nov 15, 2007)

Thanks for the responses yall.

I agree.. maybe if ppl didn't court for umpeenth years it wouldn't be so difficult.


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## BeautifulNameX (Nov 15, 2007)

I have a question

What is waiting? is it just abstaining from inter course? is like it a sin for him to finger you and stuff outter course we call it i guess?

Where dose the line draw at?


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## AfroKink (Nov 15, 2007)

I'm waiting for marriage.  Many people don't, but I'm not here to repeat their mistakes.  The bible says wait.  As for sexual compatibility, I tend to think its a farce. I mean doesn't sex have a lot to do with communication? If your marriage has poor communication, if you're afraid to tell each other what you like and dislike, if you choose not to find out what your partner is into, then you probably will have bad sex.  Thats my virgin take on the matter

lys


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## PaperClip (Nov 15, 2007)

DTWgrl said:


> I have a question
> 
> What is waiting? is it just abstaining from inter course? is like it a sin for him to finger you and stuff outter course we call it i guess?
> 
> Where dose the line draw at?


 
This is RR talking.... 

Abstaining from sex/practicing abstinance/celibacy means avoiding contact (of a sexual nature) that causes or results in individual or shared orgasm. It also means making healthy choices and decisions to avoid putting yourselves in temptation. For some folk (even me), it is healthier to avoid long kissing, petting, certain places/situations where you are alone for extended periods of time, etc. because things can progress so rapidly that things cannot be stopped.

I suppose one way to look at it if you want to know how far to go/where to draw the line at: would you do it if Jesus were right there (in the flesh) with you all? Or (this is probably less meaningful, but still something to consider): until you both are married/bethrothed, techically, that's your brother in the Lord... so would it be appropriate for your brother to have his finger in your (fill in the blank)?

This flesh cannot be trusted....


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## dlewis (Nov 15, 2007)

MissAlyssa said:


> I'm waiting for marriage.  Many people don't, but I'm not here to repeat their mistakes.  The bible says wait.  As for sexual compatibility, I tend to think its a farce. *I mean doesn't sex have a lot to do with communication? If your marriage has poor communication, if you're afraid to tell each other what you like and dislike, if you choose not to find out what your partner is into, then you probably will have bad sex. * Thats my virgin take on the matter
> 
> lys




I agree with this.  I've had friends tell me, you haven't been with a lot of people so how do you know if it's good sex.  Well, I know how I feel and I feel good.  Communication is the key.


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## gone_fishing (Nov 15, 2007)

DTWgrl said:


> I have a question
> 
> What is waiting? is it just abstaining from inter course? is like it a sin for him to finger you and stuff outter course we call it i guess?
> 
> Where dose the line draw at?


 
Ephesians 5:3 says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity...because these are improper for God's holy people." 

Unfortunately, anything that even "hints" of sexual immorality is a big no no for a Christian. 

However, the Bible does not have a list or anything of what is approved or non approved physical alternate activities before marriage. 

However AGAIN, just because the Bible does not specifically address the issue, I don't htink that means God approves of "presex" activities before marriage. 

Personally, I feel like foreplay is like...well before the play or preparation for the play...So, in my opinion it should be for married couples. Anything that can be considered "foreplay" should be avoided until marriage. (There is no need to go into specifics here.)

(I think) that a couple shouldn't go beyond holding hands/hugging/light kissing before the wedding date but that is not easy at all!

Pray pray pray!


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## firecracker (Nov 15, 2007)

I wonder the same at times.  Its hard abstaining and finding someone that is on the same page so folks throw in the towel.


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## septemberbaby (Nov 15, 2007)

I believe it exists. I know of young couples (early 20's - 30's) who waited until marriage to have sex. Since they are both on the same page spiritually and sincerely, they did not commit _*any*_ type of fornication (intercourse, oral, heavy petting, etc.) prior to their wedding night. 
They really wanted to experience their wedding night & honeymoon to the fullest without breaking any Godly principles/commandments along the way. 

I really wish I had waited so that I could've had that "wedding night" experience.  'Cause once you do it, you can't undo it.


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## PaperClip (Nov 15, 2007)

dlewis said:


> I agree with this. I've had friends tell me, you haven't been with a lot of people so how do you know if it's good sex. Well, I know how I feel and I feel good. Communication is the key.


 
Agree with this as well.... The physical act certainly has its place, and yet there's so much else going on re. sexual intimacy that happens beyond the bedrooom, or the kitchen, or wherever, whether you're standing up, sitting down, on the table, etc.... (I need to be married, y'all... pray for me! LOL!)

And on my prayer list concerning my husband, one of the things on my list is SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY.... I pray and believe that we shall be compatible. I pray that we respond to each other favorably. I pray that we are in sync with one another. I pray the scripture that we obey when the Bible says "render due benevolence" and we do it willingly and gladly. I pray that when lovemaking has to cease, e.g., fasting/consecration, childbirth, etc., that when we come together again it is a beautiful thing. I believe the Lord that we shall be HARMONIOUS....

And sure, there will be a learning curve on my part, but hey, I'm TEACHABLE!


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## dlewis (Nov 15, 2007)

RelaxerRehab said:


> Agree with this as well.... The physical act certainly has its place, and yet there's so much else going on re. sexual intimacy that happens beyond the bedrooom, or the kitchen, or wherever, whether you're standing up, sitting down, on the table, etc.... (I need to be married, y'all... pray for me! LOL!)
> 
> And on my prayer list concerning my husband, one of the things on my list is SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY.... I pray and believe that we shall be compatible. I pray that we respond to each other favorably. I pray that we are in sync with one another. I pray the scripture that we obey when the Bible says "render due benevolence" and we do it willingly and gladly. I pray that when lovemaking has to cease, e.g., fasting/consecration, childbirth, etc., that when we come together again it is a beautiful thing. I believe the Lord that we shall be HARMONIOUS....
> 
> And sure, there will be a learning curve on my part, but hey, I'm TEACHABLE!



I agree with you.

Girl, that husbands gonna be happy to have you.  You are a prize.


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## indigodiva (Nov 15, 2007)

interesting topic....

I was never one to engage in "random activities w/ random folk", but when I was in a committed relationship, then it was with that person. My parents had me involved in the purity vow program at church, but it was pointless back then b/c I was set on doing my own thing once I got on my own anyway..and I did...and I found out the hard way there is a reason for that whole wait for marriage thing...its for your own protection, b/c when things go bad or he moves on to somebody else, one of the first things you feel is used. When you wait for the right person who you are supposed to be with, then I guess you don't have to worry about that.

I've personally decided that I can wait until marriage before I engage in anymore activities...It was a personal decision in my heart b/w me and God. And I don't really have to deal with temptation now b/c I'm not dating now and I'm LOVING IT! I mean sex is a great thing, but I'm not a slave to it anymore, I just don't have to have it (For women sex is more of an emotional thing so since there is no one around to stimulate my emotions, I'm cool...I can see sexual images and not be turned like I used to be..I guess its all in your state of mind) 

I don't know how I'll feel once I become involved again...I mean the bible says God will never tempt you with more than you can handle, so I just pray that when I'm good and ready to deal with someone new that he's on the same page with me, and he's willing to wait

I only hope that the reward for waiting, is truly rewarding...Yeah, I don't think God would do me greasy...but I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get there


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## BeautifulNameX (Nov 15, 2007)

I really want to do right in my relationship now. We did other stuff not intercourse doe. But I tell him like I want to do right. Men get urges and then girls be so seductive. its like crazy i am not trying to sin. but his friends say stuff like thats why you ant getting none. and stuff and he tell me that be upsetting him and stuff. I wish he would jus tbe about to feel saving sex and stuff like i do


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## Ms Red (Nov 15, 2007)

I feel encouraged that there are women on this forum who still believe this is  possible in 2007.


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## dlewis (Nov 15, 2007)

And most times when people have sex before marriage, they regret it, even men.  It's just not popular for them to say it.


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## klb120475 (Nov 15, 2007)

There are a select few couples who actually accomplish abstaining from sex before marriage.


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## michc (Nov 15, 2007)

It is possible. I dated my husband for 3 years and we abstained until the wedding night (well actually the morning after because we were tired ).

It was not easy, but God saw us through.


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## Choclatcotton (Nov 15, 2007)

thats my desire, because a spiritual and an emotional connection needs to be cemented before the physical


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## Ms Red (Nov 15, 2007)

All of you ladies will be blessed, I just know it. 

And no pun intended but waiting is very hard. :blush3:


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## klb120475 (Nov 15, 2007)

michc said:


> It is possible. I dated my husband for 3 years and we abstained until the wedding night (well actually the morning after because we were tired ).
> 
> It was not easy, but God saw us through.


 
That's awesome! Praise Him!



cupcake said:


> All of you ladies will be blessed, I just know it.
> 
> *And no pun intended but waiting is very hard*. :blush3:


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## Precious_1 (Nov 15, 2007)

Yea apparently they exist, i was surprised until i met my coworkers.  i have 3 coworkers that waited until they were married!!
1 black and 2 of them white. I know thats probably irrelevant but i just added that bit of info. one dated 2 years, one was  high school sweethearts 7 years!, but i aint gonna lie, i think he might have stepped out, but she did not. and the other 4 years of dating.


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## divya (Nov 15, 2007)

Yes, there are couples who do it.  My "big brother" told his wife's parents when they were dating that they could be sure that he would not "touch" their daughter until marriage. 

From that kiss he planted on her when they said "I do," I know he kept his word!


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## dlewis (Nov 15, 2007)

divya said:


> Yes, there are couples who do it.  My "big brother" told his wife's parents when they were dating that they could be sure that he would not "touch" their daughter until marriage.
> 
> From that kiss he planted on her when they said "I do," I know he kept his word!



Wow, that sounds so good.


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## *Muffin* (Nov 15, 2007)

This is what I'm worried about. I'm 20 years old, and as of right now I've never been in a relationship because every guy that hits on me clearly only wants sex, and I find that disgusting . I feel like guys EXPECT to sample the goods before they get married, and I'm not willing to do that, so I'm worried I may not find a good guy who is willing to wait until marriage. I don't feel a pressing need to have a man in my life right now, but I'm thinking about the future. I would like to have a husband some time in the future that values me and is willing to wait for me .


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## PaperClip (Nov 15, 2007)

Came across this blog and thought it was timely for this conversation:

http://www.boundless.org/2005/answers/a0001612.cfm

He's a Bad Kisser 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




by Candice Watters 

The writer says this: 

Song of Solomon also says, "Do _not_ arouse or _awaken love_ until it so desires" — and not just once, but three times (2:7, 3:5, 8:4). It's a warning. The unspoken reason being that once love is aroused, the lover and beloved will want to have not just kisses, but each other. Completely.


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## tyrablu (Nov 16, 2007)

Personally for me I have decided that the next relationship that I enter into I will abstain from this type of activity. In my previous relationships where such activities have taken place, when they ended I did feel (like the other poster mentioned) a bit used. 

Sex for women is more of an emotional thing, than it is for most men. And when you have had your emotions messed with, you feel hurt, and taken advantaged of. 

I don't ever want to feel that way again.


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## MizzBrown (Nov 16, 2007)

I regret it. I had a plan to wait until I was married and I also wanted HIM to be a virgin as well. That's slim pickings to find an educated black man w/ no kids AND be a virgin.

I only met ONE male virgin in college and I would stare at him like he was a pot of gold. Sad thing was, some girl snatched him up, trapped him with 2 kids, he had to drop out of school and his dreams of being an artist were dropped and he had to get a job to support those kids.

I wonder how different his life couldve been had he waited. Where he would be now. I think my life would be different too.

Don't sample the goods. Just wait. I often think about what I'm gonna give my husband on my wedding night. It's already gone. I plan to wait this time around. If yall meet anymore male virgins though, take a picture and savor it.


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## Ms Red (Nov 16, 2007)

Interesting article and blog RR...

MizzB.. I haven't met many male virgins.. either


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## sunshinelady (Nov 16, 2007)

cupcake said:


> So many times I'll read that saved couples 'slipped up' once or twice before marriage and fornicated.... then they repented, prayed, may have even abstained for a while, and got married. But the point is they GOT TO SAMPLE THE GOODS. erplexed
> 
> What about the couple who have been together a long time and are waiting for marriage? But have not been intimate because of their beliefs in God's will for their lives and future marriage???
> 
> ...



I know of one couple that waited.


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## secretdiamond (Nov 16, 2007)

I'm not gonna get all into this, but I just love the way the world puts all the pressure, responsibility, guilt, shame, and condemnation on the woman for abstaining.  We are on this board throwing quotes and morals & threats of hell for us to stay pure and holy.  And it doesn't happen just here, but everywhere, every day, with a lot of women (even me).  I would love to know if there is a _comparable _amount of men doing the same & if the men who haven't waited are killing themselves over guilt (even the Christian ones) & how others view them & if God will still love them or not, etc.

Okay rant over. carry on.....


ETA: Btw the way, I know this is the Christian forum.. I'm Christian so I think I can put in my 2 cents. Also, I haven't had sex aka abstaining for so long I can't even remember--- even while I was with my bf of 3 yrs. But I still have my opinions on it all.


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## MizzBrown (Nov 16, 2007)

secretdiamond said:


> I'm not gonna get all into this, but I just love the way the world puts all the pressure, responsibility, guilt, shame, and condemnation on the woman for abstaining. We are on this board throwing quotes and morals & threats of hell for us to stay pure and holy. And it doesn't happen just here, but everywhere, every day, with a lot of women (even me). I would love to know if there is a _comparable _amount of men doing the same & if the men who haven't waited are killing themselves over guilt (even the Christian ones) & how others view them & if God will still love them or not.
> 
> Okay rant over. carry on.....


 

There aren't any! I also agree. There isnt a comparable amount. Pickings are already slim and when I was trying to save myself, i wanted a VIRGIN too. I was very firm about not wasting mine on someone who already wasted his and he gets ME as his present/treat/wedding night gift.

Guys should be raised the same way and when i get married and my husbands starts preachin that to my daughter, I'm gonna tell him to turn around and preach it RIGHT BACK TO OUR SON. They should have promise rings for boys as well. I'm gonna get one for my son, should i have one.

And it sickens me how men go on and on about wanting their wife to be pure when they are not. If you are used goods then all you should get is used goods.


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## Shimmie (Nov 16, 2007)

MizzBrown said:


> I regret it. I had a plan to wait until I was married and I also wanted HIM to be a virgin as well. *That's slim pickings to find an educated black man w/ no kids AND be a virgin.*
> 
> I only met ONE male virgin in college and I would stare at him like he was a pot of gold. Sad thing was, some girl snatched him up, trapped him with 2 kids, he had to drop out of school and his dreams of being an artist were dropped and he had to get a job to support those kids.
> 
> ...


I love your post, especially the bolded...

But you know what?  There's also slim pickins' for white men too, educated, virgin, childless...and.......

I've lived and worked with whites all my live, and trust me, they are not better off than the world would have us think.   

Angel, I wish above all things for you to be the priceless princess that you all ready are and always will be.  You are the joy and the prize that will not be in disguise when you meet your prince who will be perfectly suited and created just for you.   God promises and His gifts are without regret or repentance.   He is giving your future husband the very best and the very best is 'you'.

Remember that...no matter what your past, you are still priceless.


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## secretdiamond (Nov 16, 2007)

MizzBrown said:


> There aren't any! I also agree. There isnt a comparable amount. Pickings are already slim and when I was trying to save myself, i wanted a VIRGIN too. I was very firm about not wasting mine on someone who already wasted his and he gets ME as his present/treat/wedding night gift.
> 
> Guys should be raised the same way and when i get married and my husbands starts preachin that to my daughter, I'm gonna tell him to turn around and preach it RIGHT BACK TO OUR SON. They should have promise rings for boys as well. I'm gonna get one for my son, should i have one.
> 
> And it sickens me how men go on and on about wanting their wife to be pure when they are not. If you are used goods then all you should get is used goods.



I won't EVEN get started on that! I have stories. I'm sure we all do.  The double standard is ridiculous & it's also very prevalent in churches. Like I said, I won't get started, but it just lead me to think a lot about this whole issue & how it came about & why/how it is enforced/forced.  My mind has been going everywhere lately (for good maybe bad) but it all just is..... I dunno.


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## MizzBrown (Nov 16, 2007)

You should've seen the looks on guys faces when i told them i was a virgin back when. Like they orgasmed on sight. That turns them on even more and they treat you COMPLETELY differently. Then i would tell them i wanted him to be a virgin too and then their noses turn up. I just started to avoid the question more or just lie.


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## caligirl (Nov 20, 2007)

MizzBrown said:


> I often think about what I'm gonna give my husband on my wedding night. It's already gone.



I think you can still have really beautiful, intimate love-making on your wedding night.  I think its wrong to think of yourself as "used goods."


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## Ms Red (Nov 21, 2007)

I understand your point SecretDiamond. I have often wondered the same thing and noted the double standard that we (society) place on girls but not boys. The only solution I can think of for me, personally, is to raise any sons that I have the exact same way I would raise my daughters. To respect their bodies as well. 

The choice is personal and in the end, it is between you and your God.


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## Farida (Nov 21, 2007)

The double standard thing makes me mad as well and I had really long discussions with FH about how we are going to raise our sons. I'm not to tell my daughters one thing and then give my sons a box of condoms for their bdays !!


What I am surprised about, is as slim as the pickings are, every so often I hear women who met/are dating a celibate man and they are angry that he is abstinent. I'm thinking, are you crazy????


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## carcajada (Nov 22, 2007)

Waiting still exists. 

I went to college with a guy whom happened to be DH's cousin's best friend. He is a dedicated christian and so is his wife. They took pride in not messing around or anything before marriage.

I won't talk about what I heard about their sex life, but at least they "waited."


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## chickle (Apr 10, 2010)

*Muffin* said:


> This is what I'm worried about. I'm 20 years old, and as of right now I've never been in a relationship because every guy that hits on me clearly only wants sex, and I find that disgusting . I feel like guys EXPECT to sample the goods before they get married, and I'm not willing to do that, so I'm worried I may not find a good guy who is willing to wait until marriage. I don't feel a pressing need to have a man in my life right now, but I'm thinking about the future. I would like to have a husband some time in the future that values me and is willing to wait for me .



This is my life


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## Rapunzel* (Apr 11, 2010)

im loving this thread
im waiting until marriage and will abstain from all types of sexual activities, not giving the devil any place......
when i meet my future husband, we will only hug and kiss occasionally, only pecks, or cheek kisses lol


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## Jenibo (Apr 17, 2010)

I like this thread! I used to pray for a virgin man, but became discouraged when I thought my request was outrageous. I changed my prayer to "can he at least be abstinate?"  I forgot how big my God is and was willing to settle, when NOTHING is impossible with Him. If I am giving my husband this precious gift come honeymoon it's only fair I receive the same! So now I'm confident and can resume my original prayer
 *shaking fist at warped societal views on men and sex*


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## milaydy31 (Apr 17, 2010)

secretdiamond said:


> I'm not gonna get all into this, but I just love the way the world puts all the pressure, responsibility, guilt, shame, and condemnation on the woman for abstaining.  We are on this board throwing quotes and morals & threats of hell for us to stay pure and holy.  And it doesn't happen just here, but everywhere, every day, with a lot of women (even me).  *I would love to know if there is a comparable amount of men doing the same & if the men who haven't waited are killing themselves over guilt *(even the Christian ones) & how others view them & if God will still love them or not, etc.



I don't think that the amount of men is comparable but I truly believe that this kind of men exist and that they experience the same guilt that some women experience in that kind of situation.

I know a christian man that was in the same campus as me. He was dating one of my friend but he, himself wasn't my friend. I have to admit that I always found that relationship dangerous as I knew that he was a christian and she was not. He was 25 years old a that time and he was a virgin. They finaly had sex but I didn't knew (we never disscused about that sort of things). 
Then one day he came into my house, I wasn't expecting him as we were not close friends and I don't wanted to hopen my door (my politic is no men in my house, if we are not close friends). But he insisted and I saw that there was a problem, as if he was in trouble. He told me that he just wanted to talk to me. Then I hopen the door and he litteraly fell into a chair and he told me that his girlfriend cheated on him. Then this grown man start to cry in front of me. 
He told me that before he met her he was a virgin and that each time he met a lady he prayed God to know if this was a good woman or not. He wanted God to prevent him from doing any mistake. He told me that he felt so guilty because he was not a virgin anymore and that he had lost a precious thing for someone that don't even worth it. He was not able to go to church anymore because he was ashamed of himself.
Ladies, I felt so bad for this guy because when a man that you don't really know (we were not close friend, I knew him only because he was dating one of my friend) cry in front of you because of that sort of thing I think that it's really a clue that this persone is in distress. 
This thing really affected me and I didn't knew what to tell him in order to comfort him. This episode really affect my friendship with his girlfriend, we are not as close as we were before because I don't like this sort of thing. I never imagine she could have done such a thing. 
But I have to admit that I was surprised of his reaction because befor that I never imagined that this kind of man could exist.

All that said, I trully believe that some man are in the same situation as us.
I choose to wait and I really hope to succed in this decision but I have to admit that sometime it's hard. It's not hard because of any temptation, it's hard because I think that some men are afraid of women that choose to wait until mariage and because of this I am afraid to remain single.


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## Aviah (Apr 17, 2010)

Its rare, but possible.


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## azuquita_morena (Apr 17, 2010)

Well it's good to know there are some men that are willing to wait. I myself am quite frustrated because I have not really met too many men who hasn't been with even less than 5 women sexually. I think it's grossly unfair that I "have to" wait, while virtually everything in society is telling a man "you aren't a man unless you have been with a gazillion women". 

Fortunately, my brothers have not become like the men that I see. I'm not sure if my mother really talks/talked to them about being virgins outside the religious context of "it's a sin", but I think I will try to get *comfortable* enough to really tell them other reasons why being a virgin until marriage (or at least until they meet their love) is so important in this day in age. I also want to tell them that doing this makes them even more of a man than the ones who just go around spreading their seed without care. 









milaydy31 said:


> I don't think that the amount of men is comparable but I truly believe that this kind of men exist and that they experience the same guilt that some women experience in that kind of situation.
> 
> I know a christian man that was in the same campus as me. He was dating one of my friend but he, himself wasn't my friend. I have to admit that I always found that relationship dangerous as I knew that he was a christian and she was not. He was 25 years old a that time and he was a virgin. They finaly had sex but I didn't knew (we never disscused about that sort of things).
> Then one day he came into my house, I wasn't expecting him as we were not close friends and I don't wanted to hopen my door (my politic is no men in my house, if we are not close friends). But he insisted and I saw that there was a problem, as if he was in trouble. He told me that he just wanted to talk to me. Then I hopen the door and he litteraly fell into a chair and he told me that his girlfriend cheated on him. Then this grown man start to cry in front of me.
> ...


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## milaydy31 (Apr 17, 2010)

puro_tumbao said:


> Well it's good to know there are some men that are willing to wait. I myself am quite frustrated because I have not really met too many men who hasn't been with even less than 5 women sexually.* I think it's grossly unfair that I "have to" wait, while virtually everything in society is telling a man "you aren't a man unless you have been with a gazillion women".*
> 
> I also want to tell them that doing this makes them even more of a man than the ones who just go around spreading their seed without care.



I feel you on this one, it's a "paradoxical" situation. 

And I like the idea to talk to your brothers


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## nique3 (Jun 23, 2010)

I thinks it's funny how not MANY actual married Christian woman have posted, that they waited until marriage.  Anybody.......???????


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## wanwan1007 (Jun 23, 2010)

I was a virgin when I got married and I was older.  I got married in September and I turned 37 on my birthday in October.  It was not easy but it is possible.  My husband was not a virgin and at times I had to remind him that we were going to wait.  My mind was set from the time that I became a christian that I was going to wait until I got married.  I never thought that I would wait for so long but I wasn't going to settle or compromise either.  I'm VERY glad that I waited.  I believe that it's a mind set just like with everything else.  If you believe that God can keep you than he can.  If you don't he won't.  The same with losing weight, working out.  Ladies ALL things are possible with God.


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## nique3 (Jun 23, 2010)

wanwan1007 said:


> I was a virgin when I got married and I was older. I got married in September and I turned 37 on my birthday in October. It was not easy but it is possible. My husband was not a virgin and at times I had to remind him that we were going to wait. My mind was set from the time that I became a christian that I was going to wait until I got married. I never thought that I would wait for so long but I wasn't going to settle or compromise either. I'm VERY glad that I waited. I believe that it's a mind set just like with everything else. If you believe that God can keep you than he can. If you don't he won't. The same with losing weight, working out. Ladies ALL things are possible with God.


 

Thank you so much for your post!  I was starting to lose hope.


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