# Does God "Punish" You More When You Ignore His Signs?



## MzLady78 (Mar 26, 2007)

I believe that God gives you signs of when a situation isn't the best for you. Some people may call it intuition but that's how I like to think of it.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my life and how I ended up where I am.  And I think that the reason I seem to constantly find myself on the receiving end of break ups (I have never in my 29 years on this planet broken up with a SO) is because I don't take the opportunites that I'm given to walk away from relationships on my own. I realized that I was in major denial during the last one.  There were things that happened that I shouldn't have tolerated and should have made me want to leave him long before he ever got a chance to leave me.  So of course, by the time that happened, I was in so deep that losing him was devestating to me, even though for many reasons he was NOT the best man for me.  But unlike other break ups, I've had to deal not just with the emotional repercussions of staying w/him, but the financial ones as well, which is probably the aspect that's gonna take the longest to recover from.

So I'm wondering do you guys think that when you've ignored the chances He's given you to walk away on your own, God makes you suffer (for lack of a better) more in the end? Like He's thinking "okay, you clearly won't leave him, so I'm gonna take him from you and it's gonna be extra painful".  Not to be vengeful, but so that in the future, you know you have to trust Him when He's showing you that this isn't His plan for your life.

I'm hope this makes sense.


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## Glib Gurl (Mar 26, 2007)

First, I'm sorry you're going through a break up. ((hugs))

Your question completely makes sense.  I don't know so much about God "punishing" you for ignoring signs (at least not in this type of situation), but I do think He will allow you to really get the lesson by not softening the blow.  This reminds me of the thread in the Off Topic forum about "how many times do you have to start over"?  And I really do believe that the Lord will allow you to repeat lessons until you really "get it."  (Just like in school.  If you flunk a class, don't you have to repeat it?)

Back to the original question - at first I thought you meant ignoring signs like a burning bush or something.  I do think that if God tells you to do something and you don't do it . . . well, not that He'll smite you, but you won't be in His will . . . and that's never a place where we want to be . . . . 

Don't know if this is helpful, so here are (((more hugs)))


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## MzLady78 (Mar 26, 2007)

Glib Gurl said:
			
		

> First, I'm sorry you're going through a break up. ((hugs))
> 
> Your question completely makes sense. I don't know so much about God "punishing" you for ignoring signs (at least not in this type of situation), but* I do think He will allow you to really get the lesson by not softening the blow.* This reminds me of the thread in the Off Topic forum about "how many times do you have to start over"? And I really do believe that the Lord will allow you to repeat lessons until you really "get it." (Just like in school. If you flunk a class, don't you have to repeat it?)
> 
> ...


 
Thanks for the hugs!!!

It's very helpful and I completely get what your saying.  The bolded is exactly what I meant by "punish", I just couldn't think of a better way to phrase it.

I think that I got so wrapped up in the fact that I was finally in love with someone who loved me back that nothing else mattered. It didn't matter that his credit was bad, it didn't matter having a conversation with him was painful because of his limited vocabulary and his excessive swearing'. It didn't matter that even he didn't know what I saw in him!!! I was under the belief that, in the immortal words of Lionel Ritchie, "love will conquer all". LOL.

And it's funny that you use the school example, I had to repeat the 11th grade


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## Glib Gurl (Mar 26, 2007)

ROFL!  (Sorry, I'm not laughing at you, but your response was funny to me!)

I have never seriously dated *anyone* so I definitely know what you mean about finding someone who loves you back.  But, aren't you worth more than that?  I'm trying to develop an attitude where I'm not surprised if people like me, but rather like, "Durn Skippy, you like me -- I am awesome!"   I mean, not to think you're better than other people, but that you ARE worthy of all the good things God will bring your way, including a loving mate.


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## MzLady78 (Mar 26, 2007)

Glib Gurl said:
			
		

> ROFL! (Sorry, I'm not laughing at you, but your response was funny to me!)
> 
> I have never seriously dated *anyone* so I definitely know what you mean about finding someone who loves you back. But, aren't you worth more than that? I'm trying to develop an attitude where I'm not surprised if people like me, but rather like, "Durn Skippy, you like me -- I am awesome!"  I mean, not to think you're better than other people, but that you ARE worthy of all the good things God will bring your way, including a loving mate.


 
LOL. I know, I'm silly!!!

But yeah, it's quite unfortunate that the fact that somebody actually loved me in return was such a major development in my life.


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## wicky2828 (Mar 26, 2007)

First of all, sorry about the hard times that you have went through hon. It is a hard thing to realize that something didn't work out when you gave it your all in spite of the warning signs.
 I usually just chalk up that feeling of 'maybe I should let this go' of being paranoid and that is God that is talking to me. I have now begin to ask God to show me that something is bad for me so that I can see because I am one of his 'special' children  .
I don't think that God will punish you any harder, especially when he knows that you are trying. We have all stumbled and came short of the glory. It is just harder for some of us (myself included) to realize that maybe a situation isn't the best for us. I give people too much credit and end up getting hurt in the end.
((((Hugs)))))


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## MzLady78 (Mar 26, 2007)

wicky2828 said:
			
		

> First of all, sorry about the hard times that you have went through hon. It is a hard thing to realize that something didn't work out when you gave it your all in spite of the warning signs.
> I usually just chalk up that feeling of 'maybe I should let this go' of being paranoid and that is God that is talking to me. I have now begin to ask God to show me that something is bad for me so that I can see because I am one of his 'special' children  .
> I don't think that God will punish you any harder, especially when he knows that you are trying. We have all stumbled and came short of the glory. *It is just harder for some of us (myself included) to realize that maybe a situation isn't the best for us. I give people too much credit and end up getting hurt in the end.*
> ((((Hugs)))))


 
Thanks Wicky! I'm guilty of the bolded as well.  I think it's just in my nature to want to give people the benefit of the doubt. Most of the time, they don't deserve it.


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## kbragg (Mar 26, 2007)

I don't belive God is punishing you. He discipline's those He loves yes, but in this case I don't know. I mean unless you were in rebellion, I don't see God "punshing." It's like my kids. Sometimes they're so hard headed, I have to let them go on ahead and get "burned". I have to step back and let them make their own mistakes. Did I turn on the stove and place their hand in the fire? No. They did it to themselves. They only have themselves to blame. Not me, not anyone else. When Nathan the prophet confronted David about his affair with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband, he said "Thou art the man." David could blame God, or claim God was punishing. His choices led him to where he was. So it's the same with God. The wonderful thing about the Lord is just like a parent, if we'd only come to Him and humble ourselves and say, "Ok God, I'm really jacking this thing up, and I really don't know what I'm doing. I'm sick and tired or hurting myself by leaning on my own understanding and then thinking you're the one doing this to. I'm the one. It's me Lord. Change my heart Lord. Cleanse me, make me new."" It's in that moment of complete humility and surrender that God can truly be in control of our lives. God's not going to bless us when we're living in sin, and He's not going to be the one to punish us.

It's the devil who afflicts us. He is the accuser of the bretheren. When we show God that we think we know better than Him and go off to do our own thing, He'll let us. But when we reach that point and really realize that the sin is not worth the ultimate pain it brings, that doing it ourselves really sucks, THEN God can take over, mold us, and shape us.

Sister, I don't know about this relationship, and am not asking you to divulge your personal business on here. But if the relationship was intimate, the first step is to confess it as sin, and fall to your face before the Lord and ask forgiveness. When we sin, it is like crucifying Christ afresh. The way we hurt when sin fails us and turns out not to be what we thought it would be, that's what God feels when we cheat on Him and prosittute ourselves to sin.

If this word isn't for you, maybe it's for someone who's reading. But I've been down this road before. When I finally got it through my thick skull that I really suck and picking men, and told God, PLEASE TAKE OVER I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE that's when things changed. Proverbs says a wise woman buildeth up her house but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. The house, is our lives. The wise woman is the woman who trusts in God, and has Christ as her corner stone upon which her house is built. The fooish woamn is the one who tries to run her life by her own strength. I was the foolish woman for years. Then I finally grew up and would never want to go back to who I used to be before I made Christ the building point of my life.

So in conclusion, God is not punishing you. He is abiding by His own laws. That which we sow, so shall we reap. It's a hard pill, I please don't be offended when I say this because I say it with love, but you are reaping the rewards of your labors. You are seeing the results of the house you're building on your own. God does not want you to hurt daughter. He wants you to be free. Free from the bondage of sin and strife. Free from the belief that you (or whoever this word is for) have to give youe body to a man to keep him and to show him you love him, when it never works, they always leave when they've used you up off to find a new "piece." Make Jesus Christ your cornerstone. Don't engage in a relationship with a man who hates your Heavenly Father (The Bibles says sinners are enemies of God. They hate Him and all that is good). Do not yoke yourself with a man looking for love. It's not there. Only Jesus can satify. No man will ever fill the place in you, only God can. Only HE can make you happy. And when you realize that daught, you will be free.


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## kbragg (Mar 26, 2007)

Wanted to add: I always used to think God was punishing me for being bad. But when I woke up to the reality that I was the one who created my life as it was when I took the authority away from Him and took it upon myself, whe I realized I was the one, I got free. Because I knew I could change. And God is so gracious that He even cleans up our messes when we humble ourselves and ask Him to help! Just like the wonderful Daddy he is.


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## nurseN98 (Mar 26, 2007)

Glib Gurl said:
			
		

> First, I'm sorry you're going through a break up. ((hugs))
> 
> Your question completely makes sense.  I don't know so much about God "punishing" you for ignoring signs (at least not in this type of situation), *but I do think He will allow you to really get the lesson by not softening the blow. * This reminds me of the thread in the Off Topic forum about "how many times do you have to start over"?  And I really do believe that the Lord will allow you to repeat lessons until you really "get it."  (Just like in school.  If you flunk a class, don't you have to repeat it?)
> 
> Back to the original question - at first I thought you meant ignoring signs like a burning bush or something.  I do think that if God tells you to do something and you don't do it . . . well, not that He'll smite you, but you won't be in His will . . . and that's never a place where we want to be . . . .


I agree with this 100%! I'm sorry you are going through a tough time but this is a good opportunity to ask him to reveal your part in this. I went through the same thing a few years back and He really showed me how foolish I was. I will always be grateful for that and now I've been blessed for it! IMO mistakes are meant to be made once, maybe twice if you are a little hard-headed but they are not meant to be made over and over again. 

Don't worry, you'll get through this and be a better person for it


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## Plenty (Mar 27, 2007)

Yes, yes he does.


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## Candy_C (Mar 27, 2007)

kbragg, i know that was specifically to me @ all, but youre right and it has helped me today

Candy

xx


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## Jenaee (Mar 27, 2007)

Kbragg...that Word helped me as well!! Thanks!


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## MzLady78 (Mar 27, 2007)

Thank you all for your input.

I'm slowly coming to terms with everything that's gone on. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to keep it from happening again. 

But I realized yesterday that I really am blessed,even though it may not always feel that way. I read an article about man with 7 kids who recently became a widow, and is struggling. He's getting by on donations from strangers. Even without a permanent job, I've been able to pay all my bills ON TIME.  I may have lost a lot of money but as long as I'm able to work, I can make it back. And what he lost is much harder to regain and that's true love. He once told me that before we met, he used to look at his brother and his cousin who had girlfriends and ask God why he hadn't blessed him with a good woman. I don't doubt for a second that he'll be asking that question again, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even next year, but eventually. And he'll remember what he had with me and how he messed it up so bad that he'll never get another chance.


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## Shimmie (Mar 27, 2007)

No.... of course not.  God's mercies are NEW every morning and GREAT is His faithfulness.  

Do you really want to know how many signs I've ignored...not missed, not doubted...but just plain old 'ignored.'   

Mind you, the signs are for a reason.  They are a message... a stop light... a warning to take heed to what's up ahead.  But God does not punish us for such....yet He allows us to endure the consequences.  AND Oh so many times, God has literally spared me the consequences which I KNEW that I deserved for not taking heed to his warnings.   

God is love... Love far above and beyond than we could ever ask or think.  All we can do is to start over and stay connected with Him and allow Him to keep us on track.  

Be blessed angel.  Don't fret and don't beat yourself up or down for missing what God was showing you.  Just start over.  He will be right there to lead you and guide you no matter how far you have to go. 

(((( Hugs ))))


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## MzLady78 (Mar 27, 2007)

Thank you Shimmie, as usual your words hit the mark.

(I was waiting for you to respond, I thought I was gonna have to call you out, LOL)


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## Shimmie (Mar 27, 2007)

MzLady78 said:
			
		

> Thank you Shimmie, as usual your words hit the mark.
> 
> (I was waiting for you to respond, I thought I was gonna have to call you out, LOL)


 
Ooooo! There is hope for me yet.  Ummmm, I didn't miss 'this sign' from the Lord (your post)


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## MzLady78 (Mar 27, 2007)

Shimmie said:
			
		

> Ooooo! There is hope for me yet. Ummmm, I didn't miss 'this sign' from the Lord (your post)


 
LOL!! Too funny!!!! You're on a roll today, I just read the old man and his pants thread!


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## Shimmie (Mar 27, 2007)

MzLady78 said:
			
		

> LOL!! Too funny!!!! You're on a roll today, I just read the old man and his pants thread!


Ummmm, you can take this as a 'sign'....that I've only just begun....  Don't be surprised at what I may post next.  My hormones are 'rising' .


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## dreamer26 (Mar 27, 2007)

Does God Punish you more when you ignore him?

My answer will have to be yes.

Moses: when God told him to speak to the rock but he smote the rock God told him, you will not enter into the promise land.

When God told Jonah to go to Nenieva and he chose to go the other way, God caused a great fish to swallow him up.

When God told Adman and Eve not to eat of the tree and they did anyway God caused man to have to work and woman to have PMS & labor pains.
Sin entered the earth

So child of God don't think that your God is so loving that you can ignore and disobey him and he just gonna let you slide because he love you so much.  It is because he love you so much that he will not allow you to just ignore him and do it your way.  

Is God loving? yes
Does he give us new mercies everyday? yes

There are consequences to disobeying God.  And only God can determine how you should get chastised.


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## envybeauty (Mar 27, 2007)

dreamer26 said:
			
		

> Does God Punish you more when you ignore him?
> 
> My answer will have to be yes.
> 
> ...


 

Good post! In fact, God tells us to do the same with our own children, in terms of punishing them to correct them when they disobey.  He is the Father of all fathers, and He treats us like the parent He wants us to be. 

_He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)_


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## Shimmie (Mar 27, 2007)

nvybeauty said:
			
		

> Good post! In fact, God tells us to do the same with our own children, in terms of punishing them to correct them when they disobey. He is the Father of all fathers, and He treats us like the parent He wants us to be.
> 
> _He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)_


 
Dreamer and nvybeauty, we 'hear' you on recompence of sin; for there *is* a penalty of such which none of us are ignorant of.  My Mom did not hesitate to 'switch' my bottom when I was out of line. *And that* was God.  "For...foolishness is in the heart of a child and the rod of correction will drive it far from him."   I have the marks of correction still on me. and it's not cellulite... Naw-Uh   

Hey, we all know the consequences of direct disobedience and there is a consequence.   But our precious OP is speaking of signs along her journey; signs that she did not recoginize as such, because of her committment to the relationship she was in.   We ALL do err.   "All we like sheep who have gone astray."   And yet does He, our Father in Heaven always come seeking after us for He is 'married' to the backslider.  

God's mercy still prevails.   We ALL miss it.   All of us.  And I've yet to see God beat me with a rod ... the devil maybe but not God. 

We know about Moses...God told him face to face, not to hit the rock for it represented 'Jesus'...But, in a fit of anger, Moses hit that big old rock. (Bad boy...). Cause he was mad at the people that he had just begged God prior to save them from being killed by God.  Moses had an uncontrollable temper...he did.  God had to place him in check.

We all know about Jonah...he was a 'bigot'.  Jonah said, 'God, I ain't going over there in no Ninevah to save those heathen Black folks...Naw-Uh...No way.    Now....... Ummmm, it was the men on the ship who threw Jonah into the sea, not God.  For there was a great storm and they perceived it as a curse and that Jonah was the culprit.   It was God's love and mercy that kept Jonah from drowning, by allowing him to be caught up into the belly of the great fish...3 days/ 3 nights. God used Jonah as a sign of His great love and mercy for both Jonah and the people of Ninevah to save their lives...their souls.     No rod, not even a fishing rod did God use. 

Adam and Eve, were taken from the Garden of Eden not so much as punishment, as more for God's loving protection from further danger of temptation by satan.  Yes, God was protecting them from further deception in such a beautiful and sacred place.

*Unlike* Moses, Jonah, and Adam and Eve, *our precious OP* did not set out to deliberately disobey God.   She was not in outright deliberate rebellion.   Instead, she was a woman in love and she has paid a price of consequence...yes.   But God's rod...no.  Not in this case.  

For how many of us as women have been in this same place and are probably 'there' now.   Be it right or wrong, it was for love, not rebellion against the God we so love.  She 'lived' and she has learned' by God's undying love.   

Yes, God does have His rod of correction and it is used. But the proof of  His tender mercies toward us out weigh the rods.  Look around us and see the ratio of 'Rods vs Tenderness' when we err.  

What wonderous love is this... Oh my soul.  What wonderous love everlasting.  For we have not been punished as we ought.  What wonderous love.

Great post ladies to hear from all sides of this subject. 

Love and blessings...


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## kbragg (Mar 27, 2007)

nvybeauty said:
			
		

> Good post! In fact, God tells us to do the same with our own children, in terms of punishing them to correct them when they disobey. He is the Father of all fathers, and He treats us like the parent He wants us to be.
> 
> _He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)_


 
Girl I needed me a rod of correction the other day when Kayla decided the make a murel on my white wall with her Beefaroni sauce! I'm gonna paste this scripture next to my kids bed so they know what they got comin' if they keep driving me crazy actin' ignant! I'll beat the "hell" outta them, yes I will Drive that devil out!


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## Starian (Mar 28, 2007)

I've always been of the understanding that God doesn't "punish you more"; rather, he "gives you enough rope to hang yourself."

God doesn't smite folks anymore. He's given us free will. Sure he gives us warnings, and 'signs', but if we choose to follow a particular course, then the bad things that follow are a consequence.

Say, you get pregnant from having unprotected sex. Sure the Bible says don't fornicate, but we do it anyway and a baby follows.

Your life is hard, you're barely surviving, you hardly have any money. You say "God must be punishing me." No, you being a paycheck away from under the bridge is just the natural progression of a bad choice.

This is the way I see it, anyway.


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## Shimmie (Mar 28, 2007)

Starian said:
			
		

> I've always been of the understanding that God doesn't "punish you more"; rather, he "gives you enough rope to hang yourself."
> 
> God doesn't smite folks anymore. He's given us free will. Sure he gives us warnings, and 'signs', but if we choose to follow a particular course, then the bad things that follow are a consequence.
> 
> ...


 
Excellent views.  We do have consequences.


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## Laela (Aug 17, 2010)

WHOA!

My mom told me this very thing this morning... 




dreamer26 said:


> Does God Punish you more when you ignore him?
> 
> My answer will have to be yes.
> 
> ...


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## aribell (Aug 17, 2010)

I think that it's good to remember that God's discipline is for _correction_.  He is not simply going to lose His temper and punish us because we did something bad.  He is going to further prune us or refine us in a way that will correct the fault that caused the sin in the first place.  

Like Moses.  His sin was stepping out of his humble place before God and presuming to do things _his_ way rather than God's way.  Moses is named as the most humble man in Scripture, but his potential for a proud heart to develop was immense given his great position of honor among God's people.  God punished Moses so that Moses would not become haughty in heart and think that he could use God's power as he wished, rather than as _God_ commanded.

With Jonah.  The "punishment" of the whale was to get Jonah to surrender to God's command.  God was gentle with Jonah afterwards, confronting his bad attitude, but with the ultimate goal of setting him back on the right road.

I also tend to think that God will give us time to repent before bringing judgement upon us.  Like a parent may give a child time to do what is right before fully confronting him or her with their sin and the punishment.  But if we will not turn around on our own, He will step in and _turn _us around.


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## fluffylocks (Aug 19, 2010)

I think that without God, your life gets worse and worse. And also, that you go through things to learn so hard times are never in vain. 

I think sometimes things happen to you over and over because you were supposed to learn something from it, and when you dont, you suffer the consequences that sometimes keep getting worse and worse for you to get the point.

And sometimes I think you werent doing the right things, like abusing your power, cheating or something like that, and you suffer the natural consequences needed to make or allow you to change your ways. 

So I think you can choose not to do right, or follow God, and your life may be horrible, or it may be ok- but that with God, it can always be better, improve, or keep you from going through unneeded pain, and with God, you can understand why, and get through it better.


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## sassy2011 (Aug 21, 2010)

I don't think God punishes us-- I just think that if we are disobedient, we remove ourselves from His protection. He gives us free will to do whatever we want, which will result in either a good/bad consequence.  Just my opinion


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## Sharpened (Aug 23, 2010)

Oh, He still punishes all right and I deserved every bit of it. Thanks to Him I had the wisdom to see it as moments of hope I would overcome and receive the desires of my heart.


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