# Can we discuss why so many high profile Christian marriages are under fire?



## Successfulmiss (Oct 9, 2012)

Or have divorced? So we can do what we can as believers to gather, rally and pray for our marriages?

Deion and Pilar(divorcing)

Paula White & Randy(divorced in 2007)

Phadrea and Apollo

Sarah Henson(TD Jakes Daughter) & Robert

Eddie Long



sources:
http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/Ch.../LeadershipDivorcesPushingChurchtoCrisis.aspx

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_scandals_involving_evangelical_Christians


I am really being serious about this because it's breaking my heart to continue seeing this in the media. How have you ladies been able to continue witnessing to others despite what has been going on in the church today? I wanted to post this here because I know as believers the Word of God says confess our sins one to another that we may be and healed I know their are rules for this forum where others cannot come in and give secular opinion. 

Please share your thoughts. The bible also says to seek godly counsel. God bless you all

_

RULES FOR THE CHRISTIANITY FORUM:_
The purpose of this particular forum is to allow believers of Jesus  Christ to fellowship together. Its not political, controversial, or a  means for debating. Any post that do not pertain to spiritual  advancement, encouragement, etc. will be removed. Thank you in advance  for your cooperation.          Per Beverly


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## Shimmie (Oct 9, 2012)

I need a 'minute'...

Just wanted to acknowledge your post, okay?


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## Successfulmiss (Oct 9, 2012)

Thank you 

Shimmie

God bless you.


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## auparavant (Oct 9, 2012)

Under fire or are dissolving?  They are dissolving for the same reasons that low-profile marriages in the christian community and secular world are failing.  I think that people like to use the famous as examples and inspiration but the fact is, they are suffering just like anybody else.  People make bad choices, think wrongly/worldly about their spouses, practice the "Greco-Roman-Cupid" ideal of love (Pastor Baucham lol) that is not committal nor transferable to every situation and addition to the family etc.; and in addition to all the general problems people have across the board, high-profile folks  have the added pressure of trying to save face in the public eye.  They are busy helping others and probably rarely take time to help themselves.  People can pray for change and protection but their actions must reflect positive change and maintenance of marriage....growth.  You can't pray away a bad marriage, you have to act upon it to improve it.  Maybe ministers are living a lie.


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## Successfulmiss (Oct 9, 2012)

Thank you auparavant for your comment. That makes so much sense Your wisdom definitely has strength behind it!


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## bklynbornNbred (Oct 9, 2012)

I'm not sure why you chose the particular people you picked but if you only "know" them from the media I wouldn't get worked up about it. A dear friend married a man she had no business even being in relationship with. It was wrong from day one. When they finally divorced (20 years later) so many were up in arms but what was happening publicly was a FAR cry from what was going on behind closed doors. 

Just because a couple is high profile doesn't mean the foundation of thier marriage was Christian. Far too many times people are held up as examples without scrutiny of what is really going on behind closed doors (or there is justification for things that are happening right in your face) and those that question the discrepencies are torn apart as "haters" or "unbelievers". I would say don't blame the media (good or bad) its up to each one of us to use our own discernment before accepting anyone as a role model.  

Now this part will be controversial. I believe there are some marriages that should not have happened and the public adoration is against all that God wants (especially since HE knows what is going on behind closed doors). Some divorces/disgraces have to occur as without the shock of the disgrace too many Christians would continue to follow said person or not recognize the signs of what was wrong. Using church vocabulary doesn't make one saved. Being a good person in public will never outweigh what is going on in one's heart/behind closed doors. If God wasn't in or for the union He shouldn't be used as an excuse to stay together.


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## Shimmie (Oct 9, 2012)

Successfulmiss said:


> Thank you
> 
> Shimmie
> 
> God bless you.



I stepped away for a 'minute' to read both of the articles you posted, then I 'walked' away to the other side of the forum.   There's so much to say about this.   Here's what's interesting, I was thinking about this on the train on my way home this evening.    If I may, do you mind if I share this in 'random thoughts'?   I'm trying to avoid writing a 'book' which I could very easily do.  


We're in trouble, Successfulmiss...  the devil is hitting hard at the Pure State of Marriage (Genesis 2) from day one with Adam and Eve.    

Can we save "Her"?   Can we save the fragile gift that God has given unto us, and so freely given?    

I say Yes, we can.  

Angel, we are being fought on both sides, the world and from those in the Church who say they are Christians, yet their 'language' is speaking another dialect.     

In the Garden, satan KNEW how to deceive Eve into disregarding what Adam had been commanded 'not' to do by God.   They had EVERYTHING that they could have ever wanted, in that Garden, no needs, no wants of any kind, YET they were tempted with what they did not have and they yielded to that temptation....

Believe it or not, 'Shimmie' just put it in a nutshell without taking up an entire page of the forum.  

When God brings a man and a woman together as One, He has given everything that they could ever need to love and to have and to hold for their entire lives.   

YET, satan seeks what he can use to lure them into temptation... what forbidden 'fruit' will this marriage partner(s) bite into;  and unless the person strengthens him/herself against it, they will fall short and yield.

Sucessfulmiss, there is so much that I've personally witnessed in my life as a Christian.  I've seen the messes and the healings.    Yet, I've seen and I personally know so many strong men and women of God who cherish their love for each far too much to eat of any fruit, not theirs, and their marriages are strong and grow stronger each moment of each day.    They purpose to love and to be honourable before God.   

While looking at the list (you shared) of those who have/had fallen, at some of the names, I was surprised --- at others, I was not so surprised.    There are numerous names that I could easily add, and even more I can add of those who will never fall back on God...

The enemy has 'our' focus on the failures, for how many successful Christian marriages do we hear about on the news?   Next to none, because it's the failure and the scandals which draws the attention, not the good ones.

See if you can 'catch' this.   I know you will.    

The Bible says, 'Every seed produces after it's own kind'.... (Genesis).  

What folks see/hear the most of... the weaker ones will follow.   

You caught it, didn't you....   I knew you would.   

The enemy will take ONE scandal and keep it up front and center and then another follows, then another... for people are following the leader.    Dr. Jack Hayford (from your first article link) mentioned how 'others' follow their leaders.    satan knows this and what he does is keep the focus on the fallen so that as others keep watching, they end up following the same path.   It's almost subliminal, as it gets into ones' spirit and who does one follow?  They follow what's been planted in their spirit.    

Now, if that same focus is upon the good and strong marriages, strong men and women of God... the sheep will follow the very same.   They will hunger and thirst after righteousness...they hunger to follow and to follow the heart of Jesus.   

This couple here:  http://www.frninc.org/index.cfm/PageID/377/index.html

*Fred and Anna Kendall....* they have a powerful testimony which has become a Powerful Ministry to save other marriages.    

I have so much to share regarding Marriage...mainly to protect and to preserve 'her' and to be used of God to see to it that nothing and no one can ever redefine who God ordained Marriage to be.    

I'll be back with more to share later in the week.   I need to settle my thoughts in prayer and allow God to speak His heart through me.   I'm praying for the success of your thread.   I love that you posted the forum rules; for that is a statement that you want no mess up in here.     

God bless you in every area of your life.


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## Belle Du Jour (Oct 9, 2012)

bklynbornNbred said:


> I'm not sure why you chose the particular people you picked but if you only "know" them from the media I wouldn't get worked up about it. A dear friend married a man she had no business even being in relationship with. It was wrong from day one. When they finally divorced (20 years later) so many were up in arms but what was happening publicly was a FAR cry from what was going on behind closed doors.
> 
> *Just because a couple is high profile doesn't mean the foundation of thier marriage was Christian.* Far too many times people are held up as examples without scrutiny of what is really going on behind closed doors (or there is justification for things that are happening right in your face) and those that question the discrepencies are torn apart as "haters" or "unbelievers". I would say don't blame the media (good or bad) its up to each one of us to use our own discernment before accepting anyone as a role model.
> 
> Now this part will be controversial. I believe there are some marriages that should not have happened and the public adoration is against all that God wants (especially since HE knows what is going on behind closed doors). Some divorces/disgraces have to occur as without the shock of the disgrace too many Christians would continue to follow said person or not recognize the signs of what was wrong. Using church vocabulary doesn't make one saved. Being a good person in public will never outweigh what is going on in one's heart/behind closed doors. If God wasn't in or for the union He shouldn't be used as an excuse to stay together.



I was going to say something more blunt than what you said. . .I'll say it anyway.     God does not bless every marriage.    We make bad choices then ask God to go along with it.  Um, nope.  He's still God and He's not putting His stamp of approval on mess.  It doesn't mean He can't work through a bad situation but some marriages were never meant to happen.  The devil has effectively fooled most people into thinking that God could care less who we marry which is a great LIE.  We're raising the next generation of Christians, so God most definitely cares. So yeah, some of those couples on the list I would seriously side-eye saying that God was involved in that.


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## LifeafterLHCF (Oct 9, 2012)

Most of the folks you listed aren't Christians no way so therefore their marriage was a bunch of hot mess to start. Mess +hotter mess=flaming mess. A person may place themselves in the lime light of being high profile but they truly aren't. Many a person goes to church but aren't a Christian. There are markings of what a true christian is.They aren't. Eddie Long for example makes my flesh crawl and so does his wife. They are making a mockery of the name of God all for the money. If you build a house on solid ground it will last the through the storms. However, if you build a house on sand it will dissolve at the slightest bit of rain.

I truly believe that the sanity of marriage is gone. I don't know if it will ever come back. I look at it from the views that the times are changing. More and more men are just being out right gay. Women are accepting things they shouldn't all for the sake of having a dude. Men aren't men anymore. I feel this is showing how bad out time is. I was reading a thread here about that Apollo fellow which he looked a bit sugary from jump but the discussion of his sex life with his wife is hot mess. 

I will end with this illustration my pastor has used about the high profile people and God. God will ground you until he fixes you. If you were a plane and you had something  minor wrong let's say your toilet is stopped up. You might think oh I can still fly. However having such a minor flaw can cause utter destruction and destroy lives. Same with people who are in high power positions. If you don't fix those minor issues and you go up their the devil will know how to tempt you,then trap you then destroy you and everyone else around you. Just my thoughts, I'm no one of any bible weight but just my take.


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## Successfulmiss (Oct 9, 2012)

bklynbornNbred 

I just put those persons up because I made this thread really fast. I hadn't really thought more about others. I watched the Deion & Pilar video from TBN today and Paula White hosted the segment and it was alarming that they all were divorcies by the time I watched the video and they were all in one video. Your insight is excellent.


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## Shimmie (Oct 9, 2012)

Successfulmiss said:


> bklynbornNbred
> 
> I just put those persons up because I made this thread really fast. I hadn't really thought more about others. I watched the Deion & Pilar video from TBN today and Paula White hosted the segment and it was alarming that they all were divorcies by the time I watched the video and they were all in one video. Your insight is excellent.



The list has a lot of insight, for I saw several names from long ago, that I had no idea would be there, 'Amie McPhearson' and a few others.   

I think God may have lead you to post it just for me... 

I can imagine how it made you feel watching TBN when each of them in my opinion, should not be in the public eye as presentatives of the Body of Christ.   

We need the ones who didn't fall...which will make a huge statement to the Church and the World while giving honour to God.


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## Belle Du Jour (Oct 9, 2012)

GoddessMaker said:


> Mess +hotter mess=flaming mess.



OK, I'm making this a siggy quote.   Love it.


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## Successfulmiss (Oct 9, 2012)

Belle Du Jour


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## Nice & Wavy (Oct 9, 2012)

Thank you, Shimmie for wisdom!


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## Successfulmiss (Oct 9, 2012)

Shimmie

*I 100% agree to all of your posts.* I have gotten to the point where I have to test the spirits according to the Word of God and conviction of the Holy Spirit. 10 years ago as a baby believer, I used to fall for anything/any person that were confessed believers and got so caught up in the wrong ideals/man-made docrine. This is why I wanted to ask other seasoned believers what they thought so others don't have to go through our same spiritual mistakes.


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## Shimmie (Oct 9, 2012)

Successfulmiss said:


> Shimmie
> 
> *I 100% agree to all of your posts.* I have gotten to the point where I have to test the spirits according to the Word of God and conviction of the Holy Spirit. 10 years ago as a baby believer, I used to fall for anything/any person that were confessed believers and got so caught up in the wrong ideals/man-made docrine. This is why I wanted to ask other seasoned believers what they thought so others don't have to go through our same spiritual mistakes.



I'm in/out of the forum right now.  I haven't had a chance to really read the other posts here.   (I apologize to the other posters here).   I'm glad that others are joining in and sharing their hearts on this issue.  

Keep praying for the protection of True Marriage which cannot be redefined.   One thing is certain, no one can un-God, God.  He has made it plain who He is and always be which is:   "I Am that I Am"... The Beginning and the End, The Alpha and the Omega, He who is yet to come... again and shall reign forever...

So Shall Marriage...     Oh yes, it will.  

It's hearts like ours who will keep it alive and well, until Jesus comes.


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## LucieLoo12 (Oct 9, 2012)

I am not speaking on the particular examples you posted but on marriage period. It all goes back to the mindsets that I see alot of Christians  having today. No one is wanting to suffer anymore .This is a microwave generation and we want everything quick and easy and without effort. This mindsets follow us into our marriages as well. Marriage is work and its all about self denial. We can't blame everything on the devil ,though he does have some influence but only what we give him.   
People no longer want to compromise or suffer wrong and at the first sign of trouble people are leaving their spouses. People are entering marriages based on fleshy reasons and God is not foundation of nothing . we are not resorting to the word of God for godly counsel to help us with our marriages but we are looking toward the world to fix our problems. Marriage has lost its biblical meaning.Husband and wife are suppose to be one and the man is the head but we got so much feminism going on we have lost the order of things.Whenever you dont have God in the mix of something, its not gone work regardless of how rich and famous you are . The Bible said in the last day love will wax cold.ppl don't marry for love no more,its about what can they receive and how can they benefit .Selfishness... 

this is just a few of my thoughts ....


My statements was general and not meant to classify everyone


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Oct 10, 2012)

I beleive that Pastor Long and his wife are still together though she filed several times and withdrew ..


Divorce is a heavy burden on my heart even now I hesitate to share....

I'll step back but before I go I'll say that I concur with Shimmie and I view this as a spiritual matter rom the beginning the marriage has been under attack and it’s no different today, the entire ‘family unit’ is under attack

Whether we are in the limelight or not, what 'we' do affects others and divorce affects everyone; the couple getting the divorce, the children, the community, if you are pastor your congregation is also affected...how many pastors have had divorces or some infidelity exposed and it hasn't affected the church and the unsaved who is looking in...divorce has broken up ministries leaving many divided, angry, hurt and confused some have even abandoned their walk with God...


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## Laela (Oct 10, 2012)

Truthfully, OP... I am sure there are waaaay more successful Christian marriages alive, well and kicking that carry more weight than any high-profile failures. But our human nature can cause us to focus on failures ....

It's most definitely an attack on God's image, regardless of where anyone is in their faith. 

@Shimmie..thank you as always for sharing God's wisdom on this important topic.


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## Loving (Oct 10, 2012)

Laela said:


> Truthfully, OP... I am sure there are waaaay more successful Christian marriages alive, well and kicking that carry more weight than any high-profile failures. But our human nature can cause us to focus on failures ....
> 
> It's most definitely an attack on God's image, regardless of where anyone is in their faith.
> 
> @Shimmie..thank you as always for sharing God's wisdom on this important topic.


Yup there are. My SO and I have been discussing marriage for a little while now but we always tend to draw back when we see the number of failed Christian marriages around us. I shared my concerns with my mother. Her response....'whenever the devil shows you a failed marriage, look for one that's working'.

Best advice ever! When I look around, I see A LOT of Christian marriages that are still going strong. They will admit that it has not been easy but they have been able to weather the storms together and have come out stronger because of it.


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## Nice & Wavy (Oct 10, 2012)

Laela said:


> Truthfully, OP... I am sure there are waaaay more successful Christian marriages alive, well and kicking that carry more weight than any high-profile failures. But our human nature can cause us to focus on failures ....
> 
> *It's most definitely an attack on God's image, regardless of where anyone is in their faith. *
> 
> @Shimmie..thank you as always for sharing God's wisdom on this important topic.


Laela, thank you so much for wisdom!  This kind of wisdom comes from the Holy Spirit...praise the Lord.


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## LucieLoo12 (Oct 10, 2012)

Yep 

They are marriages in my ministry still going strong 30 years +......


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## Nice & Wavy (Oct 10, 2012)

Loving said:


> Yup there are. My SO and I have been discussing marriage for a little while now but we always tend to draw back when we see the number of failed Christian marriages around us. I shared my concerns with my mother. Her response....*'whenever the devil shows you a failed marriage, look for one that's working'.*
> 
> Best advice ever! When I look around, I see A LOT of Christian marriages that are still going strong. They will admit that it has not been easy but they have been able to weather the storms together and have come out stronger because of it.


This is where we need to pay attention regarding anyone's marriage...if you see it failing, pray for God to intervene to help it not to fail.  God must be in the details, not the devil.


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## Successfulmiss (Oct 10, 2012)

I am so encouraged today! My heart is joyful and I feel strengthened from these stories and insights. Thank you so much everyone for being positive! God said when He is lifted up, He will draw all men to Him! Thank you for lifting up the Lord and encouraging the ladies here that have been having these questions. God bless you all sincerely


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## BrandNew (Oct 10, 2012)

GoddessMaker said:


> Most of the folks you listed aren't Christians no way



How exactly did you come to this conclusion?


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## Successfulmiss (Oct 10, 2012)

BrandNew

I did agree to most of her post but I am not one to judge a person's relationship to God. She did have other valid points though.


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## auparavant (Oct 10, 2012)

Belle Du Jour said:


> I was going to say something more blunt than what you said. . .I'll say it anyway.     God does not bless every marriage.    We make bad choices then ask God to go along with it.  Um, nope.  He's still God and He's not putting His stamp of approval on mess.  It doesn't mean He can't work through a bad situation but some marriages were never meant to happen.  The devil has effectively fooled most people into thinking that God could care less who we marry which is a great LIE.  We're raising the next generation of Christians, so God most definitely cares. So yeah, some of those couples on the list I would seriously side-eye saying that God was involved in that.




I think that, for us catholics, depending upon the actual pre-marital issues and that all forms of validity are met, a marriage receives the sacramental blessing.  The problem is in the individuals who cannot be forced to do what the other partner desires and/or needs.  You could absolutely marry the "wrong" person for yourself but have it blessed.


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## Successfulmiss (Oct 10, 2012)

Thank you for the Catholics chiming in. I do agree that the union of a godly marriage is supposed to be blessed as long as we abide in the Father and allow Him to be the Head of the marriage. Not our fleshly desires. I have learned with my husband that we have been the most successful when every single day we dedicate our marriage to the Lord and lay down our egos. I also think EGO has a whole lot to do with these "high profile" marriages failing. Just as the enemy fell and was cast out of Heaven.


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## MrsHaseeb (Oct 10, 2012)

BrandNew said:


> How exactly did you come to this conclusion?



You know the tree by the fruit. Apollo was just on some show talking about his wife tossing his salad. I don't have to say anything about Eddie Long because we're all aware of who he is. I think what she said was just fine. The term Christian is thrown around too loosely these days and most people are simply making a mockery of true Christianity. These are not the people who should be the faces of Christ likeness.

Sent from my 4G HTC Thunderbolt using LHCF


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## Successfulmiss (Oct 10, 2012)

MrsHaseeb

Thank you for your clarification and insight!


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## shinyblackhair (Oct 10, 2012)

I was shocked and saddened to find out the Dr. Charles Stanely is divorced as well (back in 2000). He's one of my favorites. It really depresses me that such a godly man was victim of divorce. No one is immume.


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## CoilyFields (Oct 10, 2012)

auparavant said:
			
		

> I think that, for us catholics, depending upon the actual pre-marital issues and that all forms of validity are met, a marriage receives the sacramental blessing.  The problem is in the individuals who cannot be forced to do what the other partner desires and/or needs.  You could absolutely marry the "wrong" person for yourself but have it blessed.



I agree. (Not Catholic ). I do believe that you can make a hasty or wrong choice about who to marry but I don't think that's a reason to divorce or that God won't bless you. We all make mistakes some are worse than others. But we can't fix a sin by sinning. The Bible gives specific reasons that that would allow divorce. Heck! It says not to be unevenly yoked with unbelievers but then it goes on to say later that we should stay being married to that unbeliever unless they choose to leave. 
 But I do agree that marriage is under attack and I do think the attack is 2 prong, it's coming from the enemy but it's also coming from within. We have no staying power, we want easy results and we let the world influence our relationships rather than the word. And everyone especially people in the spotlight have to remember that family is the first ministry. Everything else comes second.


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## ktykaty (Oct 11, 2012)

I agree that marriage and family are under attack right now.
But one of the problem that's causing the high divorce rate among christians is people  refuse to grow up. Some of us want to stay baby christians forever and refuse to grow up. in other words, we accept God's saving grace and refuse his sanctifying grace.  We nitpick and argue with God that we can be/stay saved without being sanctified. 

Some christians don't/refuse to see that God is using their spouse for their sanctification. A spouse is like a mirror. In marriage one cannot hide their sins or their shortcomings. If one refuse to change and to become who God wants them to be, they are going to have a hard time having a successful godly marriage.


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## MrsHaseeb (Oct 11, 2012)

ktykaty said:


> I agree that marriage and family are under attack right now.
> But one of the problem that's causing the high divorce rate among christians is people  refuse to grow up. Some of us want to stay baby christians forever and refuse to grow up. in other words, we accept God's saving grace and refuse his sanctifying grace.  We nitpick and argue with God that we can be/stay saved without being sanctified.
> 
> Some christians don't/refuse to see that God is using their spouse for their sanctification. A spouse is like a mirror. In marriage one cannot hide their sins or their shortcomings. If one refuse to change and to become who God wants them to be, they are going to have a hard time having a successful godly marriage.



Thanks was not enough. So much truth.

Sent from my 4G HTC Thunderbolt using LHCF


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## ktykaty (Oct 11, 2012)

MrsHaseeb said:


> Thanks was not enough. So much truth.
> 
> Sent from my 4G HTC Thunderbolt using LHCF




Also there's a lot a false teaching and false doctrine out there that people are confused about marriage. And I'm not even talking about the world definition of marriage.

For intense, let's take a look at Proverb 31.
The feminist are using it to prove that the bible aka God is misogynistic. For them proverb 31 is too high a goal and woman shouldn't try to follow that example.
The misogynist use the same scriptures to belittle woman and transform their relationship with their husband into a father-daughter like relationship. They can also use proverb 31 to undermine the role of the husband as head of the family.


Confusion about what God's Word says about marriage leads to confusion about what marriage is, leads to too many divorce. In fact, some of us don't know anymore what a godly marriage looks like.


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## Successfulmiss (Oct 12, 2012)

ktykaty

Your awesome! Wow, some serious revelations in your posts. Thank you so much


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## auparavant (Oct 12, 2012)

CoilyFields said:


> I agree. (Not Catholic ). I do believe that you can make a hasty or wrong choice about who to marry but I don't think that's a reason to divorce or that God won't bless you. We all make mistakes some are worse than others. But we can't fix a sin by sinning. The Bible gives specific reasons that that would allow divorce. Heck! It says not to be unevenly yoked with unbelievers but then it goes on to say later that we should stay being married to that unbeliever unless they choose to leave.
> But I do agree that marriage is under attack and I do think the attack is 2 prong, it's coming from the enemy but it's also coming from within. We have no staying power, we want easy results and we let the world influence our relationships rather than the word. And everyone especially people in the spotlight have to remember that family is the first ministry. Everything else comes second.



If I didn't specify, I was speaking on believers, not those unequally yoked, to be clearer.  I apologize for the confusion.


--------------------------------------

To the general discussion:


G-d might hate divorce, but the sin is in committing adultery by marrying another, not inherently in the divorce itself.  So, how do people look at those who are divorced...that they've sinned by the divorce itself?  I'm not talking about discord, anger, violence, infidelity...just the divorce itself.  Do you think that people who have divorced (not remarried, no annulment and remarriage, no current immorality) are sinners sheerly by having the paper/dissolved marriage?  How do you feel about those who are separated from their spouses longterm, living separate lives?


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## auparavant (Oct 12, 2012)

Separate post:


Looking at a g-dly marriage....it's not the perfect peace, it's the ability for forgiveness.  Peace 100% would be an angelic home and the goal of all...but what do you "think" is a g-dly marriage?  Have you ever viewed one?  Raised under one?  What are your thoughts on what it looks like?


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## Shimmie (Oct 13, 2012)

auparavant said:


> Under fire or are dissolving?  They are dissolving for the same reasons that low-profile marriages in the christian community and secular world are failing.  I think that people like to use the famous as examples and inspiration but the fact is, they are suffering just like anybody else.  People make bad choices, think wrongly/worldly about their spouses, practice the "Greco-Roman-Cupid" ideal of love (Pastor Baucham lol) that is not committal nor transferable to every situation and addition to the family etc.;
> 
> *and in addition to all the general problems people have across the board, high-profile folks  have the added pressure of trying to save face in the public eye.  They are busy helping others and probably rarely take time to help themselves.  *
> 
> People can pray for change and protection but their actions must reflect positive change and maintenance of marriage....growth.  You can't pray away a bad marriage, you have to act upon it to improve it.  Maybe ministers are living a lie.



The 'bolded' is such a good point.   

It reminds me of the story about the shoe cobbler who spends so much time fixing the shoes of others that he has no time or energy to fix the shoes for his own family.   While he has enabled others to walk on fine leather, his family suffers the lack thereof.

Just for the safe of familiarity, the Christmas movie "The Preacher's Wife" with Whitney Houston.  Her husband 'Henry' was so busy with the needs of the Church that his home and wife were being neglected    This left the 'wife' open to vunerability where she was 'charmed' by the character not her husband.     Of course the movie ends with things being set 'right'.   However, it makes such a strong point that there has to be a balance with home and business.   Marriages must be nurtured and careful attention must be rendered in order to protect and save one's marriage.  

Many people in the Church become so caught up in 'Church' activities that they fail to know each other in their marriages, which in turn pulls them apart from one another.   Many Church members do the same; spend their lives serving the Church and not their husbands or wives...hence the wedges between them develop; they no longer 'know' each other, they're leading separate lives, no longer as 'One'.

I have seen this happen in several marriages ...


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## bklynbornNbred (Oct 15, 2012)

Successfulmiss Each month on the first sunday my church asks those that are celebrating a birthday to stand (we sing Happy Birthday) then all that are celebrating wedding anniversaries are asked to stand (we sing Happy Anniversary) and then each couple is asked to share how many years. This month the oldest couple has been married 67 years! The groom doesn't even look 67 and his bride had to be bethrothed at birth. Young couples get claps older couples (especially that long) get standing ovations. There's a LOT of wisdom with the older couples at my church. As another mentioned its easy to look at all the failed marriages out here (whether in entertainment or even one's own family) but in times of doubt its better to look at the positive "real people" examples that you may be overlooking right in your own church home.


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## Successfulmiss (Oct 15, 2012)

bklynbornNbred 

Wow, that means so much to me. I'm encouraged even more


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## Laela (Oct 16, 2012)

bklynbornNbred...that is amazing what goes on at your church...very encouraging. And I will agree to the point that we tend to overlook or even take for granted real examples. Amein to that..


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## Laela (Oct 16, 2012)

Yes, Shimmie...reminds me of that question.."who edits the editor?"..this scenario...who ministers to the ministers. This really goes hand in hand with humility; doesn'ts mean they aren't Christians, as there could simple be an IMBALANCE in their lives and for them to see that. I believe God can fix anything that's broken...



Shimmie said:


> Many people in the Church become so caught up in 'Church' activities that they fail to know each other in their marriages, which in turn pulls them apart from one another. *Many Church members do the same; spend their lives serving the Church and not their husbands or wives...h*ence the wedges between them develop; they no longer 'know' each other, they're leading separate lives, no longer as 'One'.
> 
> I have seen this happen in several marriages ...


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## LucieLoo12 (Oct 16, 2012)

I think what else can mean alot is what is really considered a successful marriage?

Successful marriage does not mean they didn't have any arguments or disagreements or did they did not have times where they may have even doubted their love, but to me success is when they were able to endure ALL of that and still made God the head of it. The couple was able to become one in the spirit


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## SummerSolstice (Oct 16, 2012)

i like this thread.


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## Shimmie (Oct 16, 2012)

Laela said:


> Yes, Shimmie...reminds me of that question.."who edits the editor?"..this scenario...who ministers to the ministers. This really goes hand in hand with humility; doesn'ts mean they aren't Christians, as there could simple be an IMBALANCE in their lives and for them to see that. I believe God can fix anything that's broken...



Laela... you are so right.   God can truly fix anything that's broken, He makes all things new...


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