# Do you mind BIG churches?



## JenniferMD (Feb 13, 2005)

I go to a very big church with 27,000 members and whenever I tell people that, I always get the same response:

"Oh, I could never go to a church that big, you'd never get to know the people."  


I think that's a big misconception. Yes, there's 27,000 members but only a few thousand go to the 8am service (the one I attend) and when you get into a routine like sitting where you always sit, the faces become familiar and you start to meet people. Then, there are tons of other opportunities to meet folks at smaller settings like bible study, professional meetings, banquets, family fun day, singles meetings, etc.

Of course I do understand people prefering smaller churches, my sister for instance has to have a small church for her to be happy.


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## Blossssom (Feb 13, 2005)

JenniferMD said:
			
		

> I go to a very big church with 27,000 members and whenever I tell people that, I always get the same response:
> 
> "Oh, I could never go to a church that big, you'd never get to know the people."
> 
> ...



Do you ever get to shake hands with the pastor?  Does he even know who you are?  That's why I've always shied away from big churches.

If you have a moral emergency, can you call him and he'll know who you are?  Or will he pretend to know who you are and give you a "pat" response, because he doesn't really know you or your circumstances.

Besides, big churches always spelled BIG DOLLARS to me!


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## MissB (Feb 13, 2005)

I attend a church with a congregation of over 3,000.  A lot people tell me that my church is too large.  But, we are broken up into geographical zones and we fellowship with members within in our community.  And JenniferMD, like you said, the faces do become familiar.  I see a lot of people from church in the grocery store, at the mall, and at work.


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## Dare~to~Dream (Feb 13, 2005)

Wow, that's a large congregation.  Since I'm used to VERY SMALL churches then I'm not sure how it will feel to go to one EXTREMELY large.


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## gn1g (Feb 13, 2005)

I too attended a mega-church with over 33,000 members.  I love the ministry, there is nothing like it.  You don't have to be concerned with the pastor talking your business in the pulpit, cause he don't know it.   The pastor doesn't know you and you might have to call 10 times before you can get some help and I don't think they help with monetary needs.  I hate the parking etc.  But I am there for a corporate move of God.  I love churches that operate in the 5-fold ministry!  So no there is nothing personal about belonging to a mega church, but God knows me.


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## pebbles (Feb 13, 2005)

Y'all attend some big churches! LOL!  I used to go to a small church of about 600 members, and for the past 6 months I've been going to a 5,000 member church, and I love it. The bishop is a praying man of God with an anointing to preach and teach the word. I've been so blessed there. I used to think that in these big churches the pastor doesn't get to see or know everyone, but those who approach him, he knows, and he knows a lot of people! He said once that often times people will not approach him, and that's the only reason he doesn't know more of his members. Also, when you go to a church that's so large, not everyone that comes on Sunday takes an active role outside of that one day. And those folks really won't get to know more of the members.


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## Dare~to~Dream (Feb 13, 2005)

gn1g said:
			
		

> You don't have to be concerned with the pastor talking your business in the pulpit, cause he don't know it.




This is something I've noticed about some small churches I've attended.


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## MissB (Feb 13, 2005)

This is a good thread.  Once someone becomes a member at my church, they have a meeting one on one with the Pastor.  From that day forward, he remembers your name.  We have the opportunity to shake hands with him and the associate pastor on the way out of church.

We also have an awesome Assistant Pastor and 20 associate ministers.  We can send an email, leave a voice mail, or contact a Deacon/Deaconness.  With this method, I usually receive a response within the hour.


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## GodsPromises (Feb 14, 2005)

I don't go to a mega church, right now we have about 1,000 members and we are getting ready to build on 76 acres of land, however like was started if you make a point of getting to know your Pastor then he will know you.  If you participte in activities and is an active member of your church he will know you and when you call on him he will know you personally.


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## slwe415 (Feb 14, 2005)

I'm not a member of a large church, but I have visited some.  I wouldn't mind being a member of one at all.


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## ChosenbyGod (Feb 14, 2005)

gn1g said:
			
		

> You don't have to be concerned with the pastor talking your business in the pulpit, cause he don't know it.   The pastor doesn't know you .....



* Why wouldn't you want your Pastor to talk your business in the pulpit??? If a person has sin in their lives or needs help in some area they should be thankful for a Pastor who is concerned enough about you to call out your situation and help you. Others need to hear it too, not just you.

I mean, the Pastor is the one who is going to have to give account for your soul one day before God. If he don't even know you, how can he????

Does the Pastor know your name, as Blossom said?? And does he preach against ALL SIN????? *


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## BklynHeart (Feb 14, 2005)

I attend a mega-church as well, 23,000 members. I like the fact that if I can't make it to church because of an illness or traveling I don't have busybodies telling me "hmph, I see you didn't make it to church!". Plus, it cuts down on the gossip I used to see in the much smaller church I attended (about 80 members). I just want to hear The Word and jet.


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## JenniferMD (Feb 14, 2005)

OK, this thread isn't going quite the way I wanted, but oh well. 

To answer the question, yes I have shaken my pastor's hand  And I've talked to him on different occassions too. Now of course he doesn't know everyone's name, but in all fairness, pastors of 400 members don't know all of their members names either.

If I want to get in contact with my pastor I can, it just may take longer to get an appointment than witih smaller churches. However, my church has it set up so you can meet with other officials. I'm actually very close to the Pastor's brother (he's a Reverend at the church) and I can call him up anytime and he'd know my voice immediately.  *Smaller churches work in the same way...you can make appointments with other officials b/c even a pastor of 500 can be stretched thin with appointments*


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## lonesomedove (Feb 14, 2005)

I prefer smaller churches.  I wouldn't be opposed to a bigger church though, just the few times I did go, it was more impersonal than I'm used to.


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## Honeyhips (Feb 15, 2005)

No, my only fear would be getting lost in the shuffle. 
I've had people ask me why I haven't been in church, but it was never done in a condescending way. Just in a, is everything going okay, and I missed you, way. 

A Pastor can share someone's story whether the Church is small or large. Just like he will use an example from the media. No big deal. I hope in you all's cases they didn't use their real names. 

My Uncle has a big Church and I like it, but he is my Uncle. I have a relationship with him. 

My church is about 1000 members and I love it like that. My Pastor is more like my Father and I couldn't imagine having to start over at a mega church. But I don't want to go anywhere now b/c there is so much wisdom around me combined with my Pastor, his head pastor, his brother, and my Uncle, and the people that are there. I am truly blessed. I cringe when I hear about the religous/legalism type of stuff that goes on elsewhere. People are truly decieved. 

Oh and my Pastor makes a point to remember everyone's names.


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## Honeyhips (Feb 15, 2005)

JenniferMD said:
			
		

> *If I want to get in contact with my pastor I can, it just may take longer to get an appointment than witih smaller churches*. However, my church has it set up so you can meet with other officials. I'm actually very close to the Pastor's brother (he's a Reverend at the church) and I can call him up anytime and he'd know my voice immediately.  *Smaller churches work in the same way...you can make appointments with other officials b/c even a pastor of 500 can be stretched thin with appointments*


that is good to know.


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## honeisos (Feb 15, 2005)

JenniferMD said:
			
		

> OK, this thread isn't going quite the way I wanted, but oh well.
> 
> To answer the question, yes I have shaken my pastor's hand  And I've talked to him on different occassions too. Now of course he doesn't know everyone's name, but in all fairness, pastors of 400 members don't know all of their members names either.
> 
> If I want to get in contact with my pastor I can, it just may take longer to get an appointment than witih smaller churches. However, my church has it set up so you can meet with other officials. I'm actually very close to the Pastor's brother (he's a Reverend at the church) and I can call him up anytime and he'd know my voice immediately.  *Smaller churches work in the same way...you can make appointments with other officials b/c even a pastor of 500 can be stretched thin with appointments*




Very true.... Jen ... I attend a small church... i think we are 500 in total... but only 150-200 attend all of the time... 

MY pastor knows the 200 very well ...

but if you only show up once a month  or don't join a ministry or go to bible study..how will anyone know you?


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## honeisos (Feb 15, 2005)

ChosenbyGod said:
			
		

> * Why wouldn't you want your Pastor to talk your business in the pulpit??? If a person has sin in their lives or needs help in some area they should be thankful for a Pastor who is concerned enough about you to call out your situation and help you. Others need to hear it too, not just you.
> 
> I mean, the Pastor is the one who is going to have to give account for your soul one day before God. If he don't even know you, how can he????
> *





How is the pastor really to know what you really have going on in your heart? ... there is no way he can....  that is the job of God only..


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## sillygurl18 (Feb 15, 2005)

They don't bother me at all. Not everybody feels comfortable in a small church and not everyone feels comfortable in a big church. The church I belong to has about 3000 or so members. I belonged to a small church that on a good day it had 100 people attend and that was the Christmas service. Whatever works for the person IMO.


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## webby (Feb 15, 2005)

ChosenbyGod said:
			
		

> I mean, the Pastor is the one who is going to have to give account for your soul one day before God. If he don't even know you, how can he????[/color][/size][/B]


I have to disagree with that.

I respect my pastor as a child of God, as a human, but I alone am responsible for my soul. My pastor will be held accountable for his own soul.


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## MomofThreeBoys (Feb 15, 2005)

Co-signing.



			
				webby said:
			
		

> I have to disagree with that.
> 
> I respect my pastor as a child of God, as a human, but I alone am responsible for my soul. My pastor will be held accountable for his own soul.


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## AnnDriena_ (Feb 15, 2005)

I attend Faith Community Church in West Covina, California and we have over 22,000 memebers. We do what's called Cell Groups. It's how we do church. Besides of course, the main services on Sunday. We have a service on Saturday called Contact it's a more laid back version of what happens on Sunday it's geared toward those from 24-35 but all ages are welcome. But the Cell Groups are groups that come together because of common interest. Every quarter there is a new catalog put out of people who are running new cell groups. There things like a movie cell for Christians to get together and socialize and catch the newest movies together. There's a sports cell for different sports for those who are interested in a particular sport you can play that sport and hang out with fellow christians. There's sewing, reading, bible studies, aerobics, public speaking whatever you can think of there is a probably a cell for it so people can get together in smaller groups and get to know one another. It's an excellent idea and helps to give a large church a more personal feel.


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## BlkHoneyLuv2U (Feb 15, 2005)

webby said:
			
		

> I have to disagree with that.
> 
> I respect my pastor as a child of God, as a human, but I alone am responsible for my soul. My pastor will be held accountable for his own soul.


 
I totally understand what you're saying, but as a man of God the shepherd of your local assembly. This man is responsible to God and will be held accountable to God for how he feed his people. Yes you alone are responsible for your soul, but you will also be held accountable (example) for the right raising of your children. In the Word, we are commanded to "train up a child in the way he should go, that when he is old he will not depart from it" If we as parents dont try raising our children in a Godly fashion makeing sure they have access to God and, okay I'm babbling now. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if my mother hadnt taken me to church when I was young. I wouldnt know God now. The foundation was laid when I was small, yet when I became an adult, I strayed away from God, but because of that early laid foundation, I made my way back to God.
Your Pastor is responsible for building on that foundation enabling you to grow and mature in God. Its not a one way street, we have to do our part also. I cant remember the exact scripture, but I believe Jesus is talking to Peter and Jesus ask Peter three times "Peter do you love me? Peter replies Yes master I love you. Jesus commands him feed my sheep"


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## MomofThreeBoys (Feb 15, 2005)

I'm glad you clarified your comment.



			
				ladydee36330 said:
			
		

> I totally understand what you're saying, but as a man of God the shepherd of your local assembly. This man is responsible to God and will be held accountable to God for how he feed his people. Yes you alone are responsible for your soul, but you will also be held accountable (example) for the right raising of your children. In the Word, we are commanded to "train up a child in the way he should go, that when he is old he will not depart from it" If we as parents dont try raising our children in a Godly fashion makeing sure they have access to God and, okay I'm babbling now.
> 
> I guess what I'm trying to say is that if my mother hadnt taken me to church when I was young. I wouldnt know God now. The foundation was laid when I was small, yet when I became an adult, I strayed away from God, but because of that early laid foundation, I made my way back to God.
> Your Pastor is responsible for building on that foundation enabling you to grow and mature in God. Its not a one way street, we have to do our part also. I cant remember the exact scripture, but I believe Jesus is talking to Peter and Jesus ask Peter three times "Peter do you love me? Peter replies Yes master I love you. Jesus commands him feed my sheep"


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## BlkHoneyLuv2U (Feb 15, 2005)

I'm not sure I understand what comment you mean.


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## MomofThreeBoys (Feb 15, 2005)

The comment about how the pastor would have to account for your soul


			
				ladydee36330 said:
			
		

> I'm not sure I understand what comment you mean.


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## BlkHoneyLuv2U (Feb 15, 2005)

Oh okay, I didnt make the initial comment, but I do in effect agree with ChosenbyGod, I knew what she meant by it and just took it a step further in explanation.


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## AnnDriena_ (Feb 15, 2005)

Correct me if I'm wrong and point me in the right direction but I believe it was Paul who admonished the crooked church leaders of his time for letting their own greed not only corrupt their path but also others. But I do believe you are responsible for your own soul but also how you lead others.


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## BlkHoneyLuv2U (Feb 15, 2005)

AnnDriena_ said:
			
		

> Correct me if I'm wrong and point me in the right direction but I believe it was Paul who admonished the crooked church leaders of his time for letting their own greed not only corrupt their path but also others. But I do believe you are responsible for your own soul but also how you lead others.


Its that last part I believe the Pastors are responsible for. Years ago, I was attending a church where the majority of the members were white. At that time, my boyfriend was white and had come to visit me for a few days. He stayed in a hotel, I stayed with my mom. Well I took him to church with me at the time I was a babe in Christ and I felt that when you profess to be saved, you didnt see color all you saw was love and color made no difference. Well I was  young and most of the people in the church were old like in their sixties and seventies. I was about twenty-six at the time.  I had no one to associate with my own age.

My sisters would come by on their way to the club or going to the beach, I would want to go with them but wouldnt go because I didnt know that I could go, just take God with me. I was bored and had started to look back but was still hanging on. I took this white guy my boyfriend to church. And at that time I found out just how saved these people were. MY pastor who was white also. called me and told me that some of the members had threatened to stop coming to church if I was going to be bringing a white man there. MY heart broke. I could not believe these people could call themselves saved and children of God and be racist at the same time. I allowed the enemy to use this to turn my back on God. I was already starting to slip but this is what it took to make me fall.

I say all this to say that that pastor, instead of calling me and telling me that, should have put those member in check. The final decision was mine and I had to seek forgiveness for my backsliding but that same pastor will have to answer to God for his treatment of me a babe in Christ while I was under his care.


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## TrustMeLove (Feb 16, 2005)

Ive always attended a small church from 300 active members to 20 active members. 

I think that the Lord knows that we are different therefore he has different types of churches for us all. Im not talking about different types of churches speaking different types of gospel (doctrines). Im talking about different types of churches in terms of size, ministries, activities, preacher styles, and the communities our churches serve.

For some they like to go praise and worship hear the word and go back home without being directly connected with all the people in the church.

For some like myself, I like to go priase and worship, hear the word, talk to my pastor, see how the mothers or doing, because I know their arthritus (sp) has kicked back up again, see how the other college students are doing this quarter yadda yadda yadda. Therefore I attend small churches with a family type vibe to them.

I can't hang with a big church, I would feel pretty disconnected, but a small church I would feel in step with everyone. Now thats just how I would feel. Other people could feel the family vibe from a large church, because they are different from me and can roll like that, but I can't.

This doesn't make them better than me, or me better than them, we have just both found churches that fit us and will help us get to the kingdom.

-TrustTheWord


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## AnnDriena_ (Feb 16, 2005)

laydee I'm so sorry that is so wrong. How can a white pastor do that? The last church I attended St. Stephens baptist church was all black and my cousin told me the pastor said he didn't want anybody bringing that mess to his church. She told me he either wouldn't or didn't like to marry interracial couples in his church. But there were interraccial people there. That stuff just kills me. I didn't like that church it was too much of a social club. Don't get me wrong I think it's great to socialize with sisters and brothers but you have to watch out. I don't care what religion some people profess I just think they are poisinous.


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## Sweet C (Feb 16, 2005)

Me, personally, I like all churches that preach, teach, and exemplify the word of God.  Whether its 37,000 members or 50.  In undergrad, I went to a very large church (over 27,000 members) and I loved that church. I now go to a church with about 1,000 members, and after I leave NC, I will move to PA and attend a church of about 50-100 members.   When u attend a larger church, you have a variety of different ministries and classes that are readily available for you to join and assist you in your spiritual growth.  If you go and sit in the same section, u will start to learn people from your section and you will definitely know the people in the ministries you participate in.  U won't be strolling into the pastor's office, and u will have to be more active in the church to actually get to know your pastor on more of a first name basis.  In this type of church, u would have to be more responsible.  For example, my old pastor taught in such a way that bible study was a basis for Sunday morning scripture.  So if u missed bible study, he would catch u up a bit, but most of the time u would have such a better appreciation of the word on Sunday if u went to bible study.  In a smaller church, you get to know everyone and your pastor and his family will definitely know u and will be quick to put you to work.  I visited the church I will be joining in PA when I moved, and I went to the pastor's house for dinner and sort of met half of the church there.  The next day, I went to church for bible study and the next u know I was dusting the pews (now in the back of my mind I'm thinking what the 3 day guest rule doesn't apply, but I was neverthless happy to serve in God's house).  Its very personal, but sometimes a certain group can feel left out, b/c its not a lot of people there.  I believe that God will send you to the church he wants you to be at that helps develop and nurture you as a member of the body of Christ whether it be a large church or a small church.


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## Bublnbrnsuga (Feb 16, 2005)

I can go to a mega-church myself;however, I like smaller ones. They give me a more 'homely' feel.


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## Blossssom (Feb 16, 2005)

JenniferMD said:
			
		

> OK, this thread isn't going quite the way I wanted, but oh well.
> 
> To answer the question, yes I have shaken my pastor's hand  And I've talked to him on different occassions too. Now of course he doesn't know everyone's name, but in all fairness, pastors of 400 members don't know all of their members names either.
> 
> If I want to get in contact with my pastor I can, it just may take longer to get an appointment than witih smaller churches. However, my church has it set up so you can meet with other officials. I'm actually very close to the Pastor's brother (he's a Reverend at the church) and I can call him up anytime and he'd know my voice immediately.  *Smaller churches work in the same way...you can make appointments with other officials b/c even a pastor of 500 can be stretched thin with appointments*



Haha!  What thread DOES go the way intended by the poster?  Not many   Don't feel bad.

I'll admit, I have never belonged to a large congregation.  The only churches I ever belonged to anyway were my daddy's (2), and none of them had more than 50 people at church on Sunday. 

I could't imagine being in a congregation of thousands.  I'm afraid of crowds anyway, but I would be overwelmed in a church even with just a few hundred.  But when you start talking 8,000; 10,000 in a congregation at one time... I feel claustrophobic just imagining it.

I look every once in a while at "church" on TV and I'm glad I stayed home!    It's so many people!  What if a fire broke out?  Omigod!


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## Blossssom (Feb 16, 2005)

Honeyhips said:
			
		

> No, my only fear would be getting lost in the shuffle.
> I've had people ask me why I haven't been in church, but it was never done in a condescending way. Just in a, is everything going okay, and I missed you, way.
> 
> A Pastor can share someone's story whether the Church is small or large. Just like he will use an example from the media. No big deal. I hope in you all's cases they didn't use their real names.
> ...



I don't know about a Pastor getting in front of the congregation and mentioning a particular parishioner's personal "dilemna" or "sin".  

Obviously, the Pastor can counsel the member on a one-on-one basis.  I think that's more appropriate.  To mention the member's name and what their crisis may be is a little "gossipy" and everyone else will be in the person's business.

I think for a Pastor to do that would be disruptive.


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## Blossssom (Feb 16, 2005)

honeisos said:
			
		

> How is the pastor really to know what you really have going on in your heart? ... there is no way he can....  that is the job of God only..



I didn't know that the Pastor has to give an account of the parishioner's soul either!


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## Blossssom (Feb 16, 2005)

ladydee36330 said:
			
		

> Its that last part I believe the Pastors are responsible for. Years ago, I was attending a church where the majority of the members were white. At that time, my boyfriend was white and had come to visit me for a few days. He stayed in a hotel, I stayed with my mom. Well I took him to church with me at the time I was a babe in Christ and I felt that when you profess to be saved, you didnt see color all you saw was love and color made no difference. Well I was  young and most of the people in the church were old like in their sixties and seventies. I was about twenty-six at the time.  I had no one to associate with my own age.
> 
> My sisters would come by on their way to the club or going to the beach, I would want to go with them but wouldnt go because I didnt know that I could go, just take God with me. I was bored and had started to look back but was still hanging on. I took this white guy my boyfriend to church. And at that time I found out just how saved these people were. MY pastor who was white also. called me and told me that some of the members had threatened to stop coming to church if I was going to be bringing a white man there. MY heart broke. I could not believe these people could call themselves saved and children of God and be racist at the same time. I allowed the enemy to use this to turn my back on God. I was already starting to slip but this is what it took to make me fall.
> 
> I say all this to say that that pastor, instead of calling me and telling me that, should have put those member in check. The final decision was mine and I had to seek forgiveness for my backsliding but that same pastor will have to answer to God for his treatment of me a babe in Christ while I was under his care.



Omigod!  

So the Pastor didn't do anything but tell YOU to not to bring your white man to church anymore?  He was a false prophet and was only thinking if the people stop coming, my money runs out!!  

The Pastor passed up a perfect opportunity to set these people straight!  What a valuable lesson he deprived them of, due to his own self-interest!

Now I'm mad!  Omigoodness!


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## Mariaat40 (Feb 17, 2005)

I don't go to a megachurch. We have about 1000 members but I still hear people say that it's difficult to get to know people. As others have said, you really have to become involved in some sort of ministry or small group to feel at home among large numbers. Once you become involved, the pastor and leadership staff gets to know you.

Regarding the pastor's accountability for our souls, my husband is a minister and a former pastor. My personal belief is that his primary role is one of shepherd and guide for his congregation. But each individual must make his or her own decisions and life choices. I think he is AS accountable for his congregation as each of us is for the people we meet in our day to day lives -the example we set, our actions, and the words we share with both believers and non-believers.


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