# Trigger: 9 Year Old Takes Her Own Life; Family Hopes To Spare Others Their Pain



## Leeda.the.Paladin (Nov 13, 2018)

Updated 4:15 PM; Posted 2:09 PM





Nine-year-old Maddie Whitsett, shown here with her mother Eugenia Williams, is being remembered for her joyful heart and love of others after she took her own life. (Special to AL.com)




75.7kshares


By Carol Robinson | [email protected]

[email protected]

A Birmingham family is grieving the loss of a 9-year-old girl who died Monday after she intentionally hanged herself in her bedroom closet three days earlier.

Madison “Maddie” Whitsett, a fourth-grader who is being remembered for her joyful heart and love of others, was pronounced dead at Children’s of Alabama Monday morning. Her mother, Eugenia Williams, and stepfather, Birmingham Fire and Rescue Service Lt. Jimmie Williams, said they hope that by speaking out about Maddie’s tragic death will spare others the pain they have experienced since Friday.

“We don’t want this to happen to anyone else,’’ Lt. Williams said.

Maddie arrived home from school Friday afternoon and quickly learned her mom had made plans for the two of them to go to Chick-fil -A for some mommy-daughter time. “Maddie loved Chick-fil-A and she was running through the house,’’ Lt. Williams said. “Her mom called me, and we talked for a second. Then one of her friends called and they were talking.”

Maddie’s mom then yelled for Maddie to get ready, they were going to leave shortly. She glanced outside - in the front yard and on the deck – but didn’t see her.

Eugenia Williams went back to her daughter’s bedroom and saw the television was on. She looked in the bed and didn’t see Maddie and that’s when she noticed a crack in Maddie’s closet door. The little girl didn’t like for her closet to be open, so her mother immediately went and looked inside and that’s when she found her daughter unresponsive.

Still on the phone with her friend, she dropped the phone, got Maddie down, screamed for her friend to call 911 and then started CPR on Maddie. Maddie was taken to St. Vincent’s East to get her stabilized and a helicopter was brought in to transport her to Children’s, but the weather prevented the air flight.




Maddie Whitsett was "so alive, energetic, funny, loved dance,’’ her grieving mother said.  Special to AL.com
Maddie was later transported to Children’s where she remained on life support until Monday.

Lt. Williams said the family is shocked by Maddie’s suicide. “It came out of left field,’’ he said.

Her mother agreed. “She was so alive, energetic, funny, loved dance,’’ she said.

Maddie had ADHD and received one-on-one help at school. There had been incidents, Lt. Williams said, where other children had called her “stupid” and “dumb.” It had happened last year, but Maddie’s parents met with the principal and said it had been taken care of. “I felt like we took care of it,’’ he said.

The family didn’t want to publicly identify the school Maddie was attending. “The school has been very supportive,’’ Lt. Williams said.

“We talked to one of her friends and Maddie had apparently had a bad day. The friend said Maddie was bullied and she looked sad while she was being bullied,’’ Lt. Williams said. “It must have really worn her out that day.”


Maddie just several weeks ago started a medication with a listed side effect of possibly causing suicidal thoughts. “The bullying plus the medicine, I think, gave her the boost to do that,’’ he said.

Lt. Williams said in 20 years as a firefighter, he’s never seen a child so young take their own life. It’s nearly impossible for him to wrap his head around what happened. “It’s hard,’’ he said.

The Williams want others to keep a closer eye on their own children. “Maybe you can see if anything is going on. Look for changes in attitude. Changes in behavior,’’ he said. “Support them and be there for them.”

They also want children to be aware of the dangers of bullying. Lt. Williams said it’s important for children to know that not only should they not bully others, but if they see someone being bullied, they need to let an adult know. “Like they always say, ‘If you see something, say something.’’’

Birmingham City Schools released this statement Tuesday afternoon: “Our school community is deeply saddened by the recent passing of a student. Counselors and district-level support staff, trained to help students, parents and school personnel at difficult times such as this, have been on-site at the impacted school today to provide assistance to students and staff in needed of support in processing this tragedy. The death of any young person is a tragic loss that impacts the whole school community, and we send our deepest condolences to the family.”


Lt. Williams described his stepdaughter as having a wonderful heart. “She just wanted to be your friend. She wanted to be everybody’s friend and wanted everyone to be happy,’’ he said. “We saw that in everything she did.”

Here are warning signs to watch for if you fear someone is suicidal and resources that can help those thinking of harming themselves or who fear a loved one might harm themselves.

WARNING SIGNS

· Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself.

· Looking for ways to kill oneself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means.

· Talking or writing about death, dying, ''ending the pain'' or suicide.

· Feeling hopeless.

· Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities - seemingly without thinking.

· Feeling trapped - like there's no way out.

· Increasing alcohol or drug use.

· Withdrawing from friends, family, social support and society.

· Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep or sleeping all the time.

· Experiencing significant mood changes.

· Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life.

· Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge.

HOW TO HELP

· Ask the person directly if he or she is having suicidal thoughts, has a plan to do so, and has access to lethal means.

you think the person might harm him- or herself, do not leave the person alone.

· Take seriously all suicide threats and all past suicide attempts, even if he or she minimizes your concerns.

· Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide.

· Be willing to listen and be non-judgmental. Don't debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or whether feelings are good or bad. Don't lecture on the value of life or whether suicide is viewed by some as a sinful, selfish or angry act. Respect that suicidal feelings are most likely related to ending emotional or psychological pain.

· Get involved. Become available. Show interest and support. Take into account other trusted friends, family members or allies who can be a part of a supportive team.

· Don't dare him or her to do it.

· Don't act shocked. This may translate as criticism or judgment and weaken trust between you.

· Don't be sworn to secrecy. Acknowledge that all suicidal risk is to be taken seriously and firmly and gently explain that you are seeking support.

· Offer hope that alternatives are available but do not offer glib reassurance.

· Take action. Remove means, such as guns or stockpiled pills.

· Get help from persons or agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention.


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## prettyinpurple (Nov 13, 2018)

That is so sad.

I wonder how young kids even know how to do that. I guess they look online? Sigh.


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## Cheleigh (Nov 14, 2018)

My heart aches for her parents, especially her mom. She was only 9 years old!


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## Shula (Nov 14, 2018)

prettyinpurple said:


> That is so sad.
> 
> I wonder how young kids even know how to do that. I guess they look online? Sigh.



They are exposed to so much more than we could imagine, I think. A smartphone is basically a computer with a window to everything that a child, let alone most adults, shouldn't be seeing. No telling where she learned of it. Even if your child doesn't have one, chances are their friends do. When my girls were younger, they would receive very disturbing emails from one of their cousins. One was very graphic and showed a black girl about this age bruised from a severe beating. I told my family member of a couple of emails before that that I found concerning. That last email? I called him up and told him and wife since they refuse to monitor what their child is seeing or doing on the internet, I don't want your child emailing mine AT ALL and then I blocked it. I admit it was a lot easier to control what mine were exposed to since they were homeschooled but I feel really bad for parents in this age. You have got to do your best to be there for your child, teach them right from wrong, and protect them from negative influences. Unfortunately, sometimes even our best isn't good enough. I've had my girls divulge things that I was shocked I missed. These parents seem as on top of it as you can get. My heart goes out to them.


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## GGsKin (Nov 14, 2018)

Please do not quote.
This is sad. Some things are inexplicable. I was born in the 80s with no internet influences, and when I was young (about 10 or 11) I had suicidal thoughts. Enough to put a belt around my neck but never let my full weight be taken by it.


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## Shula (Nov 14, 2018)

@GGsKin It's been with me all morning.


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## Makenzie (Nov 14, 2018)

@GGsKin *hugs*


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## cinnespice (Nov 14, 2018)

@GGsKin 

Damn my heart breaks.


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## MzRhonda (Nov 14, 2018)

This may be an unpopular opinion but there are some students that should not be in the general ed setting for their safety and sanity!
Bullying goes on all.the.time. in my opinion it is not taken as seriously as it should and what can the school do? Move the child or bully to another school, may not be possible or an option.

Students are always going to bully those they seem "different" or "strange".


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## RocStar (Nov 14, 2018)

I don't even have words.


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## Reinventing21 (Nov 14, 2018)

I feel so sad for this family.  The story does not provide enough details so I am wondering if their daughter looked distraught even a little when she got home? It seems as though the mom thought her daughter was happy to go out with her. So what happened in that short time? How did her DD go from happy to go with her mom to suicide?

All these drugs money = money with pharmaceutical companies as the suppliers and the doctors as the dealers. I remember years ago when all these commercials started pushing new drug after new drug with all these auctioneer style read disclaimers and warnings at the end...I remember thinking why would some of these things be approved when the side effects were so dangerous?

I swear when I first started reading, my first thought was,'Was this child taking any medication for behavior 
/mood/attention disorder.

People need to demand these companies stop using everyone as guinea pigs and paychecks. As a nation we really need to step back and assess the health  of our society and make some changes to the healthcare system.

My heartfelt prayers to this family and to anyone who has everbeen touched by this topic.


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## Charmingchick1 (Nov 14, 2018)

MzRhonda said:


> This may be an unpopular opinion but there are some students that should not be in the general ed setting for their safety and sanity!
> Bullying goes on all.the.time. in my opinion it is not taken as seriously as it should and what can the school do? Move the child or bully to another school, may not be possible or an option.
> 
> Students are always going to bully those they seem "different" or "strange".



I totally agree with you.  My sister was bullied as a child in the age before the Internet.  It affected her for many years.  This was back when everyone told kids that they needed to develop a thicker skin.  Kids can be so cruel.  I used to wonder what my sister’s life would have been like had she not had to endure the bullying.   For the most part she’s fine, but I think it stunted her growth some.  You tend to not trust people and become more guarded usually.

ETA:  I feel terrible for this little girl and her family.  To experience this level of pain at such a young age is awful.


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## Reinventing21 (Nov 14, 2018)

^^^Yes totally agree! I forgot I wanted to add that their needs to be some laws addressing cyber bullying and bullying period. Most schools address it so many ways now, but if a kid refuses to stop bullying tben out they go along with some legal consequence.

Something has to change...


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## kxlot79 (Nov 15, 2018)

There is nothing in the original article to suggest this, but I’m suggesting it just because it hasn't been suggested.
I’m kinda side-eyeing the stepfather.
As someone who has only ever been around kids with mental issues on a peer-to-peer basis, I can say that the majority of them in my experience have their mental issues precipated by or exacerbated by a (or multiple) traumatic (often sexual) event(s).
I feel like child abuse is so normalized and underreported, the effects are often devastating, and horribly, the effects are the worst with those above-reproach parental units.
I cannot even count the number of friends and acquaintances who had horrible things happen to them as children, and a lot of the time at the hands of their caregivers or family friends.
Some people weather that sort of trauma better but if you’re already coping with a propensity for mental distress...
Idk. I hope I’m wrong. I also hope no one takes offense to my projecting/speculation.
But...iono... I just hate the look of this from the outside looking in.
Then again, it’s really hard for me to imagine a child committing suicide JUST over bullying. I mean, bullying + abuse/trauma just makes so much more sense to me and it fits the narrative I’m familiar with...


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## intellectualuva (Nov 15, 2018)

Awwwww.....this is awful. This poor family. I cant imagine.

 I want to know more about the medication she was on. So many of the scripts have suicidal thoughts as a side effect.


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## Shula (Nov 15, 2018)

intellectualuva said:


> Awwwww.....this is awful. This poor family. I cant imagine.
> 
> I want to know more about the medication she was on. So many of the scripts have suicidal thoughts as a side effect.


​
I wrote this and saved this below  without posting around 5 or 6am. I really don't think we understand fully what these meds can be doing to these kids because they are not tested on kids, right? 

This may be unpopular as well but they need to find a better way than medications for a population so young and still developing that have extraordinarily dangerous side effects for grown folks. It makes me very uneasy. I'm sure some kids have psychological problems that if you don't medicate them in some kind of way, they are a danger to themselves or others. Fine, figure that out. But by and large this widespread medicating of kids is unsettling to me. I have bipolar disorder. I have had a bad reaction to every single medication I've been on; either that or they don't work at all. Some of the bad reactions I've had, I cannot imagine that chaos going on in a child's body or mind. I feel really bad for the parents because they are going to feel tremendous guilt when they shouldn't. They tried the best they could with what they knew and had.


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