# I don't want to be a christian anymore...



## eternalsotsm (Jan 27, 2010)

I'm just going to say this... i know that a lot of people might be upset...but just prove me wrong. Please show me the light. 

I went to a christian school and i was raised DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. Like, the pure "straight up" bible. But, right now, at this moment, i don't want to be a christian anymore. I don't know what I'm feeling right now: 

1. I've never been in a relationship with anyone and it bothers me so much because I'm getting ready to turn 25 in march. I feel ugly and i hate God right now. 

2. My family are going through financial problems since 2001 and we pray and fast and go to church and tithe and blah blah...i'm just so SICK OF IT. I'm actually doing a fast right now (21  day Daniel fast)and i'm trying everything to hear Gods voice. I used to teach Sunday school but i just grew weary of life. I was one of those people what said i loved Jesus and God is able. 

What hurts the most is how my dad works so hard and nothing seems to break for him. 

The worst part is that last night, i was to the point that i was angry at God and told him that he doesn't exist...then i felt this horrible feeling come over my body...so i just cried for forgiveness. I've never felt so low in my entire life. 

I don't understand why God is allowing everything to happen. I had to use my student loans to help my dad out because he's waiting on the "next job" (he's a general contractor) and now i'm living off of oatmeal and my family needs money. My loans paid the bills but next month..what's going to happen? 

I don't like God anymore. We are good people. I'm not being pretentious...but we are good people! We don't sleep around, i'm saving myself for marriage, my brothers worked hard in college and they're trying to help daddie, but alas...

What should i do???


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## Qualitee (Jan 27, 2010)

Why Do you think God is doing this to you?


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## eternalsotsm (Jan 27, 2010)

Because he's allowing for it to happen.


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## Qualitee (Jan 27, 2010)

eternalsotsm said:


> Because he's allowing for it to happen.


 E, Im so sorry that you are feeling this way. I understand why you would, because you are going through so much right now. But one thing I want you to do, Please dont give up on God and your faith. Thats what the devil wants you to do. I know you dont want to hear this but sometimes God puts you through things to make you stronger. You might not understand now but one day you will, and when that day comes, you will be so greatful. Please dont lose your faith. you might wake up tomorrow and everything might turn around for you.


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## Rainbow Dash (Jan 27, 2010)

Dont curse God and die. You know deep down in your inner most that God is real. You cant understand why He is allowing your family to go through this. 
God loves you and you are angry because of your situation, instead turning away from God. Cry out to GOD. 

Cast your cares upon Him because He care for you.

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee." (Psalm 55:22) 

The word tells us to Call unto to God and He will answer us and show us great and mighty things. 
"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not." (Jeremiah 33:3) 

"He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength." (Isaiah 40:29) 

"I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee." (Isaiah 41:13) 


"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or femine, ornakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written...Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through
him that loved us." (Romans 8:35-37) 

"Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise." (Hebrews 10:35-36) 


"But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head." 
Psalms 3:3 

*Make sure you have not given the enemy a foothold in your spiritual life:* "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." 

James 4:7 ​


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## runwaydream (Jan 27, 2010)

what my preacher says is God already has plans for you. you can't lose faith or else you might not get your reward. 
also are you all trying things on your own too? like maybe you guys can receive gov't assistance. rent out your home and move into a smaller place. 

why haven't you ever been in a relationship? how is that God's fault? 

where there's a will, there's a way.


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## discobiscuits (Jan 27, 2010)

I know that Nice & Wavy and Shimmie will both bless you with their posts or PMs in response to this thread.  Their help will be health to your spirit.

I would suggest that God is allowing you to go through a Job-like experience except that Job did not curse God during his trials.

It may be that you and your family have had bad teaching from the pulpit and now that you all need the tools that you should have been equipped with, you don't have them so they are not working.

Telling you to pray or have faith is futile as you've stated you no longer do or have either.

I know that I've been through some situations that seemed hopeless but when all was over, I was better and on top thanks God and glory to Jesus.

The only thing that got me through and still gets me through is one thing: "...it came to pass..."  Repeat it and you will understand it. Whatever trial you are going through will pass. When you get to the other side you will see that everything including the tears and oatmeal were for your benefit and His glory. 

Do not give up on God and even if you do (or did) He does not give up on you. The shepherd will always seek the stray sheep and bring it back to the fold and restore it.


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## MrsHdrLe (Jan 27, 2010)

eternalsotsm said:


> I'm just going to say this... i know that a lot of people might be upset...but just prove me wrong. Please show me the light.
> 
> I went to a christian school and i was raised DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. Like, the pure "straight up" bible. But, right now, at this moment, i don't want to be a christian anymore. I don't know what I'm feeling right now:
> 
> ...


 
Qualitee, she said that these things are being allowed, not orchestrated by God.  

OP, I really want to help, but am unsure of how, but I care and pray that wisdom and compassion will be with you right now.  You know what you have prayed for and worked for in your personal realtionship with God.  I would only caution you that using such strong words against God can only make things worse.  Sometimes the devil attacks you harder that sinners because he wants this to happen.  He wants your relationship with God to be destroyed.  If you ever loved God one day in your life, if you've EVER been blessed or a blessing to others, you need to turn away from the feelings you are experiencing right now.  God is in you and you are part of HIM.  You glorify him when you tough it out through the hard times and think of the lives you and your stand will save.  If not for yourself, then let your life be a testimony to others.  You have done what a good Chsitinan should do, and the devil would love nothing more than to destroy you and your family completely.  Stand up for what you know is right and honorable.  You're young and have potential.  Sometimes it seems darkest just before the dawn, but as my pastor once said, it's pretty dark at midnight too but dawn is coming!  It's the law! You have followed God's laws, so you cannot fail, believe that with all your heart right now.  And thank you for having the courage to say something, to seek help, and to let us minister to you in your time of need.  It was not a mistake that you reached out.  I pray right now that my fellow sisters here give you love, support, and wisdom to battle through what your feeling.  Remember DO NOT TRUST FEELINGS, they are fleeting at best and I'm sure many a regret can be blamed on following feelings instead of knowledge.  God loves you, satan does not, never serve one who doesn't love you, THEN you're doomed.


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## sidney (Jan 27, 2010)

Hi lady,

I felt this way once like maybe 8 years ago, when God hadn't come through for me quick enough for something that was very important to me.  And to be honest, I didn't KNOW God all that well.  Not personally.  And I felt so betrayed and believed that since he didn't come through, then surely he didn't exist.  And I was so mad, that I gave God an ultimatum to prove that he existed or I would walk away from the faith!  (This all occurred in one day).  And you know what,He did! I don't know why he did.  He didn't have to.  He is ALMIGHTY God.  But thank God he did!  Let me tell you, God is real.  If there is one thing on this earth I am sure of, I know he is real.  The bible says that 'many are the afflictions are the righteous, but he will deliver you out of them all.'   Sometimes there are seasons of tribulation, but these are the best seasons to find God.  God works in such unsual ways, to use these hard times for our good.  We may not understand his process, but it you submit to him, good can come out of this.  If you don't, your heart will harden.  I bessech you, DO NOT TURN AWAY FROM GOD!!!!


I know that deep inside, you know God is real.  That's why *you told him *he wasn't real.  We don't address things we don't believe in.  And that darkness you felt, is real too.  We are told not to grieve the holy spirit, or he'll depart from us.  Don't lose your protective covering.  You will only open your life to the enemy.  I know you are hurt, and I understand how you feel.  I have been there.  But let me tell you, these seasons don't last forever.  And God is a God of restoration.  Would you believe, that he came through for the very situation that I was angry about?  He did over and beyond what I asked.  We all suffer and God hasn't promised us a life free from suffering.  Don't give up, seek him harder!!  The bible says "Deep calleth unto deep."  When you pray, ask for forgiveness first so that he may hear you.  And then seek him with your whole heart.  If you call deeply, he will reciprocate.   That I know.  Not as a skeptic, but to seek his face.  Don't give up, don't faint.  The bible says "Be not weary in well doing, because you will reap if you faint not."  Remember that God is not all about us having a problem free life, He wants to get us to glory. You WILL have an abundant life on this earth, you and your family if you hold on!!   Let me tell you, keep the faith and keep your joy because the word tells us that "the joy of the Lord is your strength."  I will be praying for you!!  Trust God!


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## Shimmie (Jan 27, 2010)

eternalsotsm said:


> I'm just going to say this... i know that a lot of people might be upset...but just prove me wrong. Please show me the light.
> 
> I went to a christian school and i was raised DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. Like, the pure "straight up" bible. But, right now, at this moment, i don't want to be a christian anymore. I don't know what I'm feeling right now:
> 
> ...


Sweetie, it's not of works but of faith.   There are way too many 'rituals' going on here and no time to enjoy the love that God has for you.  

It's called 'Burn Out'.   It happens to any and everyone who is doing too much beyond their emotional and physical capacity.   

Remember these words:   *'You're only human'* and you cannot do it all.   Including all of the xyz's of being a perfect Christian.   Even Jesus became 'weary' and He was God, yet He was in the flesh and our flesh has it's limits.  Period.  

Drop the 'works' and just focus on God's love and allow yourself to be set free from 'doing' and just be His child whom He loves so much.  

Even mom's get tired of being moms.  Dads get tired of being the perfect father and husband.   Parents can do but so much.  

SO!  Let it all go and allow the love of God to have His way in you and to enjoy His loving relationship with you.   Let it all go.  Let God's love for you flow.   It will.   It's yours, it's God's gift to you.   Rest and receive it. 

For You:  Sweetie, now rest.  
. 
_Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.     ---- __Hebrews 4:11_

_For God is not unrighteous to forget *your work and labour of love*, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister_

_----- Hebrews 6:10_


 Rest ...


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## Laela (Jan 28, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way, but I agree that that's what the devil wants... for you to give up. Please don't give up. I hope you find comfort  in knowing that God will *NEVER* give up on you.  
I've found that He's there even when I'm at my lowest, in a valley. 

How powerful His love for YOU, that he'll meet you and be with you wherever we ARE. And I believe He's with you now.

Stay encouraged 




eternalsotsm said:


> I'm just going to say this... i know that a lot of people might be upset...but just prove me wrong. Please show me the light.
> 
> I went to a christian school and i was raised DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. Like, the pure "straight up" bible. But, right now, at this moment, i don't want to be a christian anymore. I don't know what I'm feeling right now:
> 
> ...


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## ixoyegodisgood (Jan 28, 2010)

Shimmie said:


> Sweetie, it's not of works but of faith.   There are way too many 'rituals' going on here and no time to enjoy the love that God has for you.
> 
> It's called 'Burn Out'.   It happens to any and everyone who is doing too much beyond their emotional and physical capacity.
> 
> ...



That brings tears to my eyes.  amazing!


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## eternalsotsm (Jan 28, 2010)

You guys...i'm in tears...thank you so much. I just...i don't know. I've never been so low. 

I felt something inside of me telling me to call my friend in DC...and we talked for a very long time. It was the first time i told anyone about what was going on. She knows my family and, while she was praying, she said some things about myself and my family that amazed me...i never told her about these things...about how prideful my family is and so on...i cried so much. She also said that i deal with people dumping things on me, but it's not my job to deal with it. And that my self esteem is way too low.

But...i feel that things are looking better. I feel like i can breathe again. I pray bountiful blessings for all of you guys that wrote something or said a little prayer for me. You don't realize how much this means to me. I'm just a lonely artist in my dorm, trying to be good and live a pleasing life unto God. 

I'm going to just ignore my feelings, love God, and do what he will have for me to do.

It's funny how...3 or so hours ago...i was debating that there wasn't a God...and now i'm praising him


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## Renovating (Jan 28, 2010)

eternalsotsm said:


> You guys...i'm in tears...thank you so much. I just...i don't know. I've never been so low.
> 
> I felt something inside of me telling me to call my friend in DC...and we talked for a very long time. It was the first time i told anyone about what was going on. She knows my family and, while she was praying, she said some things about myself and my family that amazed me...i never told her about these things...about how prideful my family is and so on...i cried so much. She also said that i deal with people dumping things on me, but it's not my job to deal with it. And that my self esteem is way too low.
> 
> ...


 

To God be the glory!!!  I didn't know what to say, but I was definitely praying for you.


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## Laela (Jan 28, 2010)

Keep the Faith.  That was God talking to your heart, and you listened. 

And please -- *don't let the devil or anyone steal YOUR JOY. 
*





eternalsotsm said:


> You guys...i'm in tears...thank you so much. I just...i don't know. I've never been so low.
> *
> I felt something inside of me* telling me to call my friend in DC...and we talked for a very long time. It was the first time i told anyone about what was going on. She knows my family and, w*hile she was praying*, she said some things about myself and my family that amazed me...i never told her about these things...about how prideful my family is and so on...i cried so much. She also said that i deal with people dumping things on me, but it's not my job to deal with it. And that my self esteem is way too low.
> 
> ...


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## blazingthru (Jan 28, 2010)

I am glad that you have turned your mind towards God again.  He is truly merciful and forgiving and he knows your suffering. Remember he never own a thing while he was here he relied on the kindness of others every single day. He slept wherever, He was always aware of where his real home was. He never took his focused off of it.  

We are not promise a happy life on this earth. Some will have it all, so we think, some will not, they will struggle throughout their lives. I think at many times thats me. I have learned to be faithful no matter what comes my way no matter how many rejections I get I just have to be faithful and trust that God's plan for me is a good plan.  I learned recently that John the Baptised did not have a good life.  His life on this earth was not a good life at all.  He loved the Lord and served him until the day he died, he had his moments of doubt about Jesus too.  He was waiting for Jesus to display his great power and release him from prison. But that was not the plan. his life had no joy like what we would call joy, no comforts, his parents died when he was young.  Elijah did not have a good life either. We are not promised that we will have a good life but its the life after this one that we put all our hopes and dreams in.  

I am not talking about Heaven. so many people talk about it I know we are only going to be there for a thousand years. Which is just one day.  One day. No its the new earth that i am talking about. Its being able to live in the city and live all over the place wherever I want to build my house, Girl I get so excited everytime I think about it. I imagine the tree of life sitting in the middle with 12 different kinds of fruit on it that blooms anew each month. Each month we get 12 different fruit and its different each month. We get to study whatever we want to study and learn it rapidly. We get to visit other worlds, there are other worlds you know. All we have to do is think of it and we will be there.  Yeah I am so so excited.  This I learned about our Father in heaven. There is no limit to what he can do for us.  He is allowing you to make the choice to follow him no matter what this world (satan) is throwing at you he has the power to deliver you from it all.  He has already won.  We just have to figure that out in our hearts, soul and mind.  Satan has lost.  I am on the Lords side. I can tell you some of the many trials I have gone through. Key word Gone through.  I pass through the fire and I know there are more storms ahead but my hope and trust is in the Lord and my treasure is in heaven. I have a room in that mansion. I am trying to make sure its fully stocked.  But if it wasn't for Jesus we can all bag it up because none of us is worthy to enter through the gates.  he gave his life - his blood to cleanse us from our sins.  so we can come to the father freely.  Keep your faith.  Read a chapter in Psalms every single day. David suffered and wrote about it. God knows what your going through he is just waiting for you to put your trust in him. may God truly bless you on your journey


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## Uber (Jan 28, 2010)

It's brilliant that you are feeling ok after your talk with your friend. 

You can be assured as you allow God to do a work on you, you will grow stronger and enter into new dimensions in your relationship with him.
 Continue to pray for God to give you divine direction. Ask him to lead and show you your divine purpose. You are obviously destined for greatness that's why you have had a test. Keep passing the tests girl, there is _*always*_ a prize at the end

Continue to pray.   And you know what girl, be real with God when you talk to him. Tell him what's on your mind. Ask Him to help you out of it. 
You are not alone in this journey of life, but forget all those things that are behind and press on towards the marked prize.

Be Blessed OP!!


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## Shimmie (Jan 28, 2010)

Heather0078 said:


> That brings tears to my eyes. amazing!


    I have tears too...    God loves us so much.  :Rose:


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## Sashaa08 (Jan 28, 2010)

eternalsotsm said:


> It's funny how...3 or so hours ago...i was debating that there wasn't a God...and now i'm praising him




That line right there really blessed me!! We will praise Him with you, because despite the distractions of the enemy, HE is worthy to be praised.


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## Shimmie (Jan 28, 2010)

eternalsotsm said:


> You guys...i'm in tears...thank you so much. I just...i don't know. I've never been so low.
> 
> I felt something inside of me telling me to call my friend in DC...and we talked for a very long time. It was the first time i told anyone about what was going on. She knows my family and, while she was praying, she said some things about myself and my family that amazed me...i never told her about these things...about how prideful my family is and so on...i cried so much. She also said that i deal with people dumping things on me, but it's not my job to deal with it. And that my self esteem is way too low.
> 
> ...


  I'm so glad you're feeling better, little one.   The precious ladies here have given you wonderful messages with so much love and understanding.  'They know' how it is to feel this way.  

We've all had moments like this.   

Even Jesus when He was on the cross and He cried out, "My _God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?? ! ?"_    And this was Jesus who said this, the same one and only Jesus who not so long ago, as a 12 year old lad who said to His parents (Mary and Joseph), "Don't you know that I am about my 'Father's business?"  

Life sucks!  Well, it does!     By this I mean that something is always 'pulling' from us; pulling from our 'faith', pulling from our resources, pulling from our time and energies.     Life sucks.  

However, the love of God gives us pretty straws to draw the clear and refreshing waters from His well of Life.   His waters from which we will never thirst.  

eternalsotsm, Precious One... God loves you.  He understands and all He wants to do is hold you in His arms and love through all of life, which is made beautiful all because of His love.  

God bless you, sweet child of Love, sweet daughter of God, who will always be there with you and will always love you, no matter what. :Rose:


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## Poohbear (Jan 28, 2010)

eternalsotsm,  

Check out this thread I started a few months ago about Christian suffering, questioning, etc. It's fairly long but please take your time to read it. I feel like it will bless you: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=413914&highlight=

God bless you.


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## BeautifulFlower (Jan 28, 2010)

My little cents. 

I have found that in times of struggle God is teaching us contentment. He wants us to learn to be content in whatever state you are in. Because when you learn contentment, you learn that in every state you are in, you have everything you need. 

Read the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis. From a young boy he knew God destined him for greatest, but he went through HECK to get to the place God called him. And not his works but faith and integrity got him there.


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## mscocoface (Jan 28, 2010)

Remember this time well OP because just as you have gone through it I promise you like the sun will rise tomorrrow there will be someone you will need to minister to.

This is how your tests turn into testimonies.  

There will come a day when someone will feel the same way you have, then you will be able to identify with them and tell them your testimony and how you overcame.

Stay strong lady.  This life is full of hills and valleys the point is to stay on the journey.


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## Raspberry (Jan 28, 2010)

About the money problems - often times we are waiting for God to send a miracle - and sometimes he does that just to get us through, but that's just his safety net because He cares about us, not what we should ultimately strive for.  God says that He is the one who gives us the power to get wealth - not the wealth as a gift, but the power to get it. God has also instituted seed time and harvest in the earth - he promises to multiply our seeds but we have to be willing to plant in faith and watch over it. 

Has your father and family gotten financial advice and assessed all debt, income, assets, etc?  Is there any way to restructure the finances so that less is required to maintain the household?  Even if it comes down to getting rid of a vehicle or downsizing the living space.

I know that being a general contracter can be hard if you're always waiting on the next job.  Is there any way that your father can maximize his work through partnerships?  Maybe trying a different business model? Can anyone else in the family can find creative ways to make extra money through the work of their hands?

I would encourage you all to pray for vision and creativity in wealth creation and for faith to believe that God keeps his promises.  I'll pray for you as well.



eternalsotsm said:


> 2. My family are going through financial problems since 2001 and we pray and fast and go to church and tithe and blah blah...i'm just so SICK OF IT. I'm actually doing a fast right now (21  day Daniel fast)and i'm trying everything to hear Gods voice. I used to teach Sunday school but i just grew weary of life. I was one of those people what said i loved Jesus and God is able.


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## Shimmie (Jan 28, 2010)

:Rose:  Precious *eternalsotsm*,  Here's one more blessing for you from my heart. :Rose:

My daughter (my babygirl ) shared this song with me a while ago.   

We love it!   It has us shouting and praising God all through the house, in the car and even in the store, she'll  sing a phrase, I'll sing one back and we move through the aisles with our electric side step...  

It's I believe by Marvin Sapp.  

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxbatXXSjRU

Here's the message within the song from Brother Marvin Sapp, speaking a word of encouragement to those listening.   

_There are going to be times in your life as a Believer when you are going to question if God is really on your side.  _
_And the reason why you are questioning it is because of the simple fact it seems like the devil is hitting you with everything he can possibly throw at cha’.  _
_But you need to understand something beloved,; you need to remember that the only reason why you are in that position now is because God has ordered your steps. _
_And the only reason why the devil is hitting you like this is because he has literally peeked into your future. And he sees what God is about to bring you into. _
_That’s why you can’t depend on nothing but the word of God._
_*--------------*_
_*Then the Choir and Brother Marvin sings this phrase...*_
 Your word is true
 Your word
 Is true
 Is true
 believe
 believe, He'll come through, I believe
 Said I believe in you

Your word is true
 Said I believe in you
 Is true

Said I believe in you
believe, He'll come through , I believe
-------------------------
This song rocks and ministers... all the way through.  I love it.
I hope this is a blessing to someone.   

Now I'm sitting at my desk dancing...   :reddancer:   
I love the Joy of the Lord.... it is our strength indeed.


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## tailormade84 (Jan 28, 2010)

i am not one for many words, but i remember when i felt a similar way, there was no a scripture, quote or phrase that could reach me.

My heart is heavy just knowing you are enduring such an intense season of testing, but i want to encourage you to hold fast to your faith. It's good to be honest with God, but be respectful because He is still God.  Let it out and try your best to remain faithful, because believe it or not, you will get past this and I don't want you to look back and regret things you said/did when you were low.

There is a song I carry in my heart that encourages me through my rough season:
cling to you by trip lee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKyoENBuM6A&feature=PlayList&p=EF9AA394D101FE7F&index=13

please be encouraged and don't let go - please don't waste your life of dedication and i pray you and your family receive/learn all you are supposed to in this season....


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## OhmyKimB (Jan 28, 2010)

eternalsotsm said:


> Because he's allowing for it to happen.


 


Have you asked though, what it is He wants from you during this time? Are you trying to control what's going on, even in your thoughts are you praising him for whatever good may come out of this?

ETA: It reminds me a lot of Job. Just because things are allowed to happen or seem like it, doesn't mean that God is not all in the mix of this. I really believe that if God decided he didn't care AT ALL. We'd all just be dead. And the fact that you can question do you even what to do this, means that you have a chance to really grow and push the devil and trouble out of your life. Just keep talking to God.


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## eternalsotsm (Jan 28, 2010)

Raspberry said:


> About the money problems - often times we are waiting for God to send a miracle - and sometimes he does that just to get us through, but that's just his safety net because He cares about us, not what we should ultimately strive for.  God says that He is the one who gives us the power to get wealth - not the wealth as a gift, but the power to get it. God has also instituted seed time and harvest in the earth - he promises to multiply our seeds but we have to be willing to plant in faith and watch over it.
> 
> Has your father and family gotten financial advice and assessed all debt, income, assets, etc?  Is there any way to restructure the finances so that less is required to maintain the household?  Even if it comes down to getting rid of a vehicle or downsizing the living space.
> 
> ...



It's a complicated story...my great grand father had a large farm and it's been in the family for generations. It's really large, over 200 acres and it was split between all the uncles and aunts. And we have fields and farm land...So my dad doesn't have any house payments because he built it by hand a long time ago and we really don't' have any expenses because they live in the country and we have well water, chickens...etc. So the only expenses are cell phones, electricity, car insurance and that's about it. so downsizing isn't the problem. 

But he has talked with a new cpa and the problems stemmed from under bidding and from not penalizing people that didn't pay him or sub contractors that didn't do the work. He's too nice of a man and he should have sued.

But anyway, they are looking into forming a partnership...which is awesome...so we'll see how things will turn out. 

Thanks again everyone for all the links and encouraging words. I just got out of class and i'm reading over the links now


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## Kiadodie (Jan 29, 2010)

Hi OP. I just wanted you to know, that God is with you. Please don't give up. I will be praying for you.


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## CoilyFields (Jan 29, 2010)

Hey Girl,
In Revelations it talks about satan at the throne of God accusing us to Him day and night...and the stuff he says is usually true!
But also know that he stands at our ears accusing GOD to US! But its ALL LIES! He tells us that God doesnt love us, that our lives are guided by random coincidence and bad luck, and most of all he tells us that God is a lier and we cant believe His word...or that it doesnt apply to us in our current situation.

Girl the DEVIL IS A LIER! 

These are the times where we MUST decide if we really do believe what God says in his word.  Do I REALLY believe that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord? Do I really believe that if I seek his kingdom FIRST then he will supply all of my needs? etc.

Also...make sure u dont ignore what God is already doing. Sometimes we look for him to do things in a certain way and when it doesnt happen we think he's not acting. But instead, thank God that the money from school WAS THERE to help during that month! I had this issue when I was trying to get outta debt. I had done extensive budgets but it seemed like everytime I was supposed to use a lump sum to pay off debt...a RANDOM bill showed up (I mean bills from 3 years ago for hundreds of dollars I didnt even know I owed). After months of this happening I cried and asked God why? He sent me a word showing me that HE had orchestrated that I would have this extra money at these certain times...I thought I would use it to pay debts but HE KNEW that these unexpected bills would pop up and ensured that the money was there for me to use. 

Just remember that His ways are NOT our ways...and everything goes according to His plan for those who love him. And I'd rather leave the plans in the hand of the one who knows the past, present, AND future!

Love and prayers...


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## Prudent1 (Jan 30, 2010)

OP- as someone else has already said thanks for having the courage to share your feelings.:Rose: We have all been there and will be 'there' again to some extent. I'm glad you are feeling better! With each test we pass, there are new blessings, more strength and new attacks from the enemy. We know how the story ends though.  We win! I'm praying for you. I'm praying for all of us...

"Your faith might fail  but *trust* is like real love.  It does not depend on circumstances or situations.  It is not dependent on the actions of others period."- Dr. C. Dollar

Loosely translated prov 3:5 says-*Trust* in the Lord with *all* your heart(mind, will, soul,emotions, and strength/ possessions) and do not rely on your human knowledge and reasonings.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will direct the course of your life.:hero:

A few scriptures to meditate on when we feel doubt about God...

*Isa 46:10b, 11b*- _My counsel shall stand, And I will do all My pleasure, Indeed I have spoken it; I will also bring it to pass. I have purposed it; I will also do it._

*II Pet 3:9*- _The Lord is not slack concerning His promises, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentence._

*Isa 59:1*- _Behold the LORD's hand is not shortened, That it cannot save; Nor His ear heavy, That it cannot hear._

*Isa 55:10,11*- _For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, But water the earth, And make it bring forth bud, That it may give seed to the sower And bread to the eater, So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it._

*Nahum 1:7*- _The Lord is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble; And He knows those who trust in Him._

*II Cor 4:8,9*- _We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed._

God is faithful
*Psa 37:25*- _I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging bread._

*Psa 23:1*- _The LORD is my shepherd; I shall *not* want._

*Psa 18:30*- _As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him._

When we can't understand his ways
*Isa 55:8,9*- _"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways, " says the LORD. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts."_

Wait on God

*Isa 40:31*- _But those that wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings as eagles, They shall run and not grow weary, They shall walk and not faint._

*Psa 130:5*- _I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope._

BTW- Is that you having fun in one of your classes in the siggie pic? You have a radiant smile! You are an attractive young lady. Don't believe otherwise.


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