# Femininity & Sensuality and Taking it Back: My Creed --What's Yours?



## MonPetite (Nov 10, 2011)

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Nice thread, ladies. Thank you.


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## Shimmie (Nov 10, 2011)

Very good...


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## Laela (Nov 10, 2011)

This is good stuff! Thank you. I'll share w/ my nieces. There is nothing more disappointing than seeing a woman/young lady dressed nicely, great makeup and she has the mouth of a Sailor.... 

ITA being feminine is a real balancing act...

These two right here are on point!


LittleGoldenLamb said:


> *5. It requires discipline.* Keeping your life as  stress-free as possible; building healthy relationships; staying  emotionally healthy; keeping up one’s hair, nails, clothes however you  choose wear them; staying fit and healthy; finding a workout  that works  for you; preparing nutritious food and not relying on fast food;  learning make-up techniques to enhance oneself and so forth takes due  diligence and yes they are NECESSARY and have VALUE (because you do!). It  doesn’t have to be a misery and won’t be, when everything you do is an  extension of the inner balance and connection to your feminine self.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Guitarhero (Nov 10, 2011)

I agree with much of it if it relates to inner feminine qualities - not outer nor "expected" ones.  To me, G-d is also feminine and demonstrates those qualities, so it's definitely spiritual imho.  How one demonstrates outer femininity depends upon how they were raised and in which cultural values.  They all do not look alike, which you have mentioned.  But I'm wondering about using the term "sensual" because of the common definition of it:

sen·su·al  (snsh-l)
adj.
1.  Relating to or affecting any of the senses or a sense organ; sensory.
2. 
a.  Of, relating to, given to, or providing gratification of the physical and especially the sexual appetites. See Synonyms at sensuous.
b.  Suggesting sexuality; voluptuous.
c.  Physical rather than spiritual or intellectual.
d.  Lacking in moral or spiritual interests; worldly.


To me, it's the same as "sexy."


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## Shimmie (Nov 10, 2011)

Laela said:


> This is good stuff! Thank you. I'll share w/ my nieces. There is nothing more disappointing than seeing a woman/young lady dressed nicely, great makeup and she has the mouth of a Sailor....
> 
> ITA being feminine is a real balancing act...
> 
> These two right here are on point!



These days, most of these women and young girls talk worse than a sailor; and they are proud of it; no conviction whatsoever.


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## MonPetite (Nov 10, 2011)

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## aribell (Nov 10, 2011)

LittleGoldenLamb said:


> *5. It requires discipline.* *Keeping your life as stress-free as possible*; building healthy relationships; staying emotionally healthy; keeping up one’s hair, nails, clothes however you choose wear them; staying fit and healthy; finding a workout that works for you; preparing nutritious food and not relying on fast food; learning make-up techniques to enhance oneself and so forth takes due diligence and yes they are NECESSARY and have VALUE (because you do!). It doesn’t have to be a misery and won’t be, when everything you do is an extension of the inner balance and connection to your feminine self.


 
ITA. And with respect to the purple, I think we have generally accepted a level of stress that is waaay too high and unncecssary. Sometimes situations cause it, particularly with respect to health and family members. But we also make choices that compromise our ability to adequately care for ourselves and those around us. I believe that a large part of femininity is about the _space _in which one exists; inside and outside there should be peace and beauty. If I'm constantly harried, running to and fro, then there will never be any time to develop that space.

I think a feminine woman lives in a "space" (which is physical, but which trascends the physical to include the spiritual and emotional) that is warm, inviting, nurturing, and peaceful.


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## Guitarhero (Nov 10, 2011)

LittleGoldenLamb said:


> Go with the first *bolded* meaning for the context of this conversation.
> 
> It's all semantics, in a sense.
> 
> ...



Nooooooo, I'm trying to understand within that concept because you say "sensory" but that others will automatically think of the generally accepted meaning.  How so via what you describe?  I'm looking for more on the true meaning of it?  Are others thinking of the qualities of G-d or something else?  No. 10, no.3 and 2 are great...I just don't get it that deeply because I automatically think of what another considers "feminine" such as 1)how one sits 2)how one communicates with a quiet spirit....etc.  I was a tomboy...if it helps you comprehend how I'm trying to get to the meat of it all. 


Like, it's not just no. 10, but then it is included (so do women defer?) and no. 9 is "absolutely not required" but then what would be?  Submission, deference, quietness?  I'm none of that.  I was reading another article on the subject which stumps me as to what it should constitute and somebody mentioned girls in soccer and the regret of having allowed it.  Shrugs...  The Shekinah and nurturing quality of the Almight is the only thing coming to mind for a universal.  But what about those who don't want families? You're making me think here, lady!

I hope this evolves into a hearty discussion because it's a difficult subject. Cheers for the blog!  I'll read it more in depth...from what I already saw, it's a TRUE blog.  Thumbs up.


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## MonPetite (Nov 10, 2011)

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## Guitarhero (Nov 10, 2011)

^^^^That all the coquetterie and fishnets are not required.

Actually, there are some who think you must sit with your hands folded and knees together to the side...when there are other ways to sit modestly.  I was just watching a documentary on my 2 favorite elders, the Dann sisters of the Shoshone in Utah.  These elderly women has a horse ranch and their femininity presented itself in a totally different manner  as they made fences and tended to cattle, horses, fixed barns etc.  Obviously, they didn't dress fancy at all but theirs emanated from a sense of care for the natural earth as nurturers, just as it nurtures us.  Their children are grown but they did have family to raise at one time.   It may not even look like the "average" well-groomed or dainty image we have.  This is why I look at this issue, trying to find just exactly what it means for the modern woman of today.  

And yes, you do have a true blog...with real writing!!!!  I got so turned off many of them.  How long have you had it?  You should have it advertised or something (if you don't already).


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## MonPetite (Nov 10, 2011)

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## chicacanella (Nov 11, 2011)

I totally agree with this. The church or body of Christ needs to take back what femininity means. Just because you look look good as a WOMAN doesn't mean you aren't a Christian. I made this vital mistake in 2009 when I met my spiritual mother who God told me to go up and talk to. Well, I did per listening to the Holy Spirit...all the time thinking, "I don't know this woman" "what am I going to say God?" He told me to just strike up a conversation so I did. Well, she works heavily in the gift of prophecy and basically told me about my past, future, things the Holy Spirit wanted to talk to me about. She even spoke about what I was thinking though she didn't know it. I would think about a certain person, the Holy Spirit would tell her and she started talking about them. I was blown away.

BUT, she had a nice haircut with blonde highlights, dressed nicely and I thought prophetesses had to wear buns, long dresses and skirts. Not fitted jeans and nice tops. Totally miskewed understanding of what it means to be a real Woman of God. She could have "looked" the traditional part and still not have been a WOG or she could have. I will say that she has spoken in my life moreso than any first lady or person I've known and she showed cleavage also.  So, the point is to look at the fruit and sort it out by the Holy Spirit not just by what you see on the outside. My spiritual mother dressed like Mary J. Blige  So, imagine Mary J. Blige as a Prophetess and that's my friend.


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 11, 2011)

This blog is interesting....I noticed that you said the "Church", but Im not sure I see the biblical view in this, but its an interesting read..


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## Laela (Nov 11, 2011)

chicacanella... good to see you back!

I'm a visual person....
Are you talking this MJ












or this one?


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## Guitarhero (Nov 11, 2011)

chicacanella

I comprehend your view of your spiritual mother and agree.  Anybody could "look" the part and not be what they seem to be.  So true. 

I also thought about this issue last night and have concluded for myself...this is just MHO for me...if femininity is intrinsic...then however you are as a just and moral person is YOUR femininity.  You could be a ditch-digger or a prom queen and be feminine because it's intrinsic to being born a female, however it comes to look.  I oftentimes think we are talking about conformity to another's standard.  How can a woman lose her femininity when it's intrinsic?  Societies shift, there come to exist other needs to fulfill a life throughout time.  In my own society, women traditionally farmed and physically built the homes.  Another group of people oppressed us and changed our society so that our men were emasculated by becoming the farmers.  They superimposed their standard on us.  Things changed.  

I say this to indicate that however a woman is, that's femininity and you do not lose it.  We are quite different today from women in the 40's and future generations will look to us as we now look to those of the past.  They are all still women, naturally.  Maybe for the church, we need to address the inner workings moreso than outer  I dunno.  That's why I questioned the OP as to what it truly means.  Very complex issue, actually.


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 11, 2011)

Guitarhero said:


> *You could be a ditch-digger or a prom queen and be feminine because it's intrinsic to being born a female, however it comes to look. I oftentimes think we are talking about conformity to another's standard*.


 

I agree with you on this GuitarHero ...

Thats I posted earlier because I didnt know what view this femininity was coming from..Is this more of a cultural view or biblical view..?

In the bible women were not necessarily looked upon or admired for their "beauty"(*Most cases, the bible did speak of some women's beauty *) or deposition but they were admired for their alleigance and devotion to God. Ive seen some women that people would consider "Plain jane" because of they way the dress or look, but or absolutely BEAUTIFUL and lovely because of their spirit and the glory of God is upon them.

The ideal of femininity should not be measured in our outfits or make up... but our mindsets..that meek and quiet spirit that the bible speaks of.Our willingness to be able to submit to our husbands, pastors, leadership..whoever. 


But this is all from a biblical standpoint


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 11, 2011)

*fem·i·nin·i·ty* (f
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




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) 
_n._ _pl._ *fem·i·nin·i·ties* *1. *The quality or condition of being feminine.
*2. *A characteristic *or trait traditionally held to be female*.
*3. *Women considered as *a group.*

*it depends on what group of women is being referenced. and what traditions? Traditions of society or God.*


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## LoveisYou (Nov 11, 2011)

Alicialynn86 said:


> I agree with you on this GuitarHero ...
> 
> Thats I posted earlier because I didnt know what view this femininity was coming from..Is this more of a cultural view or biblical view..?
> 
> ...


 
I agree I think physical beauty and a lovely personality are admirable qualities but they can't be the extent of a woman's virtue, the OP did speak about inner beauty though. 

At the end of the day our primary focus should be God, we should be looking to God to fulfill His wil for our lives.


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## Laela (Nov 11, 2011)

Oh, I get it all right...

I assumed the OP is referencing Christians, since she posted it here and mentioned the church. I only posted MJ's photos because someone mentioned her and largely because MJ went through a metamorphosis of sorts. When she married, her appearance changed because she became a wife and mother. She still kept her makeup and impeccable dress but she does dress _differently _now. I believe this same concept applies to Christians when we  begin to change, from the inside/out. Being married to God now, we begin to change..and that includes our appearance and behavior.

Yes, I agree our inner life is just as important as the outside appearance.... that's a given as a Woman of God anyway. I'm not disputing that. 

Culturally speaking, femininity is a set of attributes that includes behavior, personality, appearance and clothing. Likely, not stressing on one more attribute than the other is where you guys are going with this and I get that. Biblically, I believe those same attributes will be influenced by the power of the Holy Spirit. He is a Changer...we never remain the same. He changes us daily...


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 11, 2011)

Nicely said!




Laela said:


> Oh, I get it all right...
> 
> I assumed the OP is referencing Christians, since she posted it here and mentioned the church. I only posted MJ's photos because someone mentioned her and largely because MJ went through a metamorphosis of sorts. When she married, her appearance changed because she became a wife and mother. She still kept her makeup and impeccable dress but she does dress _differently _now. I believe this same concept applies to Christians when we begin to change, from the inside/out. Being married to God now, we begin to change..and that includes our appearance and behavior.
> 
> ...


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## MonPetite (Nov 11, 2011)

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## MonPetite (Nov 11, 2011)

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## Laela (Nov 11, 2011)

Thanks for the clarification... ITA wholeheartedly with the bolded... 



LittleGoldenLamb said:


> I just wanted to clarify, for the thread, as I said in my OP, what is considered feminine is going to be related to your culture. Full stop.
> 
> I also said right after that you need to find the balance point for you.
> 
> ...


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## Guitarhero (Nov 11, 2011)

Please don't take offense, we're not running over you...we're just looking deeply into the issue since you brought it up..and it ties into 2 other threads lol.  How timely!

As for your blog, you do what it is that you are called to do and don't allow any difference of opinion to sway you over there.  These threads can't determine that for you.  I am hearing your point over there...and it's a good one.  


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As for femininity discussed here in this thread concerning the church, how exactly, in your experience, is it suffering?  Is it mostly the uber sexualization of women in the world in general or is it something else?  Are you talking more about roles of women in the home...??  Is it the "hardening" of women?  Do you find their professions causing some decrease in true femininity?  Etc...  When I think of femininity, I think of the nurturing aspect.

We can open it up even more.  I'm interested to stand back and listen.


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## MonPetite (Nov 11, 2011)

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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 11, 2011)

ok, LittleGoldenLamb, I guess since its in the Chrisitian Forum we just generally tend to see the threads from a biblical standpoint .

 But like i said earlier your blog was a interesting read and it had some valid points!!


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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 11, 2011)

If you felt like I was attacking your blog, I wasnt at all .. I do apologize if it came out like that. I was just expressing more of the biblical standpoint of your blog and wanted to bring more of those points out.

We will dissect a thread down to the nitty gritty and get to the core of it in here !! lol.... We like to break things and hear all points of views

But keep it coming..you seem very passionate about your writings as well, and thats good!


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## MonPetite (Nov 11, 2011)

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## LucieLoo12 (Nov 11, 2011)

I think a woman's independence and empowerment is celebrated a little too much these days ...Now let me explain myself before I get stoned lol . *Im going to speak this in the terms of marriages*..because this is one aspect, I have really seen it more evident in this area of life. Women no longer want to submit to their husbands because they see it as a sign of weakness. Ever since the movement " I am woman, hear me roar", came about, women can sometimes see being submissive to someone means we are losing our identity and being taken advantage of. But submission is actually a great thing in the eyes of God. Women this days are satifisfied with being "baby mama's" (no offense just making a point) and no longer want to even get into marriage because they feel like they dont want no one to tell them what to do (may seem far fetched but its true) and this is not all, just SOME. Though women should be taught about the independence of womanhood, we also need to be taught boundaries as well. People do either or..Some tell women "You a woman, you aint got to take nothing from no one.Yea Adam was the head, but you the neck and you can turn whatever way you want to" (I HATE THAT SAYING ) But on the other hand, some people make women feel like they are weak and beggarly. So I defintely believe that we need to taught balance. Yes we have power but when and how do we use it?

The woman in the bible had authority, but they also followed the scriptures and they knew there place..


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## Avyn (Nov 11, 2011)

Biblical examples of feminimity: deborah, the spirit of wisdom in proverbs, proverbs 31, song of solomon, ruth, esther...each displaying their own kind of feminimity in service to God and his purposes for their lives. The spirit of wisdom is the only reference to a feminine spirit that I can think of off-hand and she is bold and courageous and compelling.  I think that all of these examples show women with an attractive, compelling force in terms of being able to draw others, not always necessarily sexual attractiveness.  Feminimity is powerful, attractive, and glutenous- drawing things together and holding them in place.  This is an amazing topic. It was actyally on my mind before bc of a cook book I picked up called Sweety Pies by Patty Penner. It has recipes and stories about African American women in the 50s and 60s who used their feminine charms and delicious food to hold their families together, put someone in their place, guide or get their men, etc... as I read those stories I wondered if women like that still existed.  Feminine and full of charm, wisdom and wit.

Sent from my SCH-R915 using SCH-R915


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## MonPetite (Nov 11, 2011)

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## MonPetite (Nov 11, 2011)

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## delitefulmane (Nov 11, 2011)

LittleGoldenLamb said:


> *Also, IMO, how you sit is reflective of how in tune you are with your body --body language and posture reveal a great deal (class, health, education, etc.).
> The World has taken that understanding of woman and womanhood from us (or rather we, the Church let it go...?).
> 
> I want it back for women of Christ*.



I AGREE, I AGREE!!!



Alicialynn86 said:


> *The ideal of femininity should not be measured in our outfits or make up... but our mindsets..that meek and quiet spirit that the bible speaks of.*Our willingness to be able to submit to our husbands, pastors, leadership..whoever.


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## chicacanella (Nov 12, 2011)

Laela said:


> chicacanella... good to see you back!
> 
> I'm a visual person....
> Are you talking this MJ
> ...




I would say the 2, 3, and 4th pictures. All of those I could see her wearing and the thing is people, other women who think they are women of God doesn't think she is automatically because of her style of dress, and just overall characteristics. And she was born in 1970 so her and Mary are around the same age. But anyhow, she stopped fornicating in 1996 and this one woman that was around her age that she was trying to help spiritually was doing fornicating and thought my spiritual mother did also. How can you be a real woman of God at a certain level with God flowing through you heavily and talking to you daily and still fornicate? You can't, there would be a block which is why the woman needed my spiritual mother to help her because she had a wall between her and God and couldn't hear him for herself. But anyhow, God told my friend that the woman was fornicating and that judgment was going to be released upon her and then I spoke prophetically and said so too. I just hoped that lady stopped because God is not playing. But anyway, it just goes to show just because you look good doesn't mean you can't be holy. And yes, God even tells me sometimes, "Take care of yourself," meaning he looks highly upon and is pleased when I get my nails done,hair done, wear parfume, cross my legs and act feminine like the woman he made me. God even told me that men in general are attracted to that and it's helps when you are in the single bracket to not act masculine because you are not a man! A real man wants a woman, not a man and it is innate within all woman, natural to act feminine unless something has been lost and needs to be restored. Period.


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Nov 12, 2011)

Hopefully I'm able to convey my thoughts, as I am not the most 'eloquent' of persons, lol

I do agree with a womans femininity and most of what you've said (not that you need my approval) but the word 'sensual' perhaps should be rethought... your definition of the meaning of the word sensuality is much different from the actual meaning I've researched it a few times (including biblical) and I'm not sure if that is what you really meant (you can clarify)....It would seem that it is not possible to be 'sensual' and not incite some kind of lust...


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## MonPetite (Nov 12, 2011)

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## Lucille (Nov 12, 2011)

Great Post!! Love it!


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## lilanie (Nov 18, 2011)

Wonderful post!


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## crwnandglory (Dec 3, 2011)

This post made me smile.  

I tapped into my femininity years ago when I entered pageantry and it was also around that time that I got saved, the process evolving into a feminine lady was amazing.  Since then I have been shocked at how many young girls, young women and older women are afraid or do not know how to be ...feminine.   Several months ago while reading several scriptures in the bible I had a revelation that true femininity (and beauty) can be found in a woman's ever growing relationship with God and the Holy Spirit. 

Thanks for sharing


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## LoveisYou (Dec 3, 2011)

crwnandglory said:


> This post made me smile.
> 
> I tapped into my femininity years ago when I entered pageantry and it was also around that time that I got saved, the process evolving into a feminine lady was amazing.  Since then I have been shocked at how many young girls, young women and older women are afraid or do not know how to be ...feminine.   Several months ago while reading several scriptures in the bible I had a revelation that true femininity (and beauty) can be found in a woman's ever growing relationship with God and the Holy Spirit.
> 
> Thanks for sharing



I would love if you shared some tips


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## crwnandglory (Dec 14, 2011)

I'm late, sorry!  How can I help you?  What areas would you like to grow in?

PM me if you don't want to post.


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