# Switching Churches - Need More Singles



## inthepink (Nov 2, 2009)

I am considering switching churches because the church I currently attend is smallish (about 800 people) and there are NO single people around my age. Everyone is married with grown children or just got out of college.  I've met some great women but no one to go to with me to the movies.  And men, I have yet to see even ONE single man since I've been going (May 2009).  I'm feeling discouraged.  But also lately, I really want to get serious about finding my life partner and being at a church with 0% chances of meeting anyone does not help that situation.

What would you do in my situation?  Would you leave the current church to go to one with more people your age?  (I would just be going back to the former church I attended that's a pretty large congregation 5,000+)


----------



## momi (Nov 2, 2009)

Would I be tempted to ?  Yep

Would I leave?  Probably not

If you are growing as a Christian and contributing to the local body stay... if you feel the need to fellowship with other single like-minded Christians, I would find a local group to connect with.  Now that I think about it, most of my friends married around the same time... I cannot think of one of us that met our husbands at church.  God knows where you are and knows how to send your man looking for you!


----------



## GodsPromises (Nov 2, 2009)

hairlove said:


> I am considering switching churches because the church I currently attend is smallish (about 800 people) and there are NO single people around my age. Everyone is married with grown children or just got out of college.  I've met some great women but no one to go to with me to the movies.  And men, I have yet to see even ONE single man since I've been going (May 2009).  I'm feeling discouraged.*  But also lately, I really want to get serious about finding my life partner* and being at a church with 0% chances of meeting anyone does not help that situation.
> 
> What would you do in my situation?  Would you leave the current church to go to one with more people your age?  (I would just be going back to the former church I attended that's a pretty large congregation 5,000+)



The bolded is not your job.  He that finds a good wife finds a good thing. We are not to find our mate he is to find us and regardless if he is not in your church or not when God says it's time it will be time. Yes I know that patience is  hard to practice especially when we want something right now but we mess up when we try to do something and not God.  If you are being feed at your church home I wouldn't leave because there are not single man there.  Just keep doing what you are doing you will be found.  Ruth was in the vineyard working minding her own business not thinking about a man when Boaz noticed her and the rest is history.  Your Boaz will see you working and standing out in the crowd and pick you out when both of your are ready for each other.

Stay encourage my sister stay encourage


----------



## inthepink (Nov 2, 2009)

GodsPromises said:


> *The bolded is not your job.  He that finds a good wife finds a good thing. We are not to find our mate he is to find us and regardless if he is not in your church or not when God says it's time it will be time.* Yes I know that patience is  hard to practice especially when we want something right now but we mess up when we try to do something and not God.  If you are being feed at your church home I wouldn't leave because there are not single man there.  Just keep doing what you are doing you will be found.  Ruth was in the vineyard working minding her own business not thinking about a man when Boaz noticed her and the rest is history.  Your Boaz will see you working and standing out in the crowd and pick you out when both of your are ready for each other.
> 
> Stay encourage my sister stay encourage



Ah - I should probably rephrase that.  I really mean that I would like to at least allow myself to be in situations with possibilities.  If I'm on an Island with no single men, what are my chances of meeting one?  I guess that's my point.

I do trust in God to bring me that special someone but I don't believe I should just sit and wait and wait and wait.  I do believe that there are things I can do to increase the chances.


----------



## Laela (Nov 2, 2009)

Hi, Hairlove,

I'd encourage you to pray about that... if things don't sit well with your spirit at the brook you drink from that's one thing. But I don't think finding a church to be in a better position to find a mate would work. I go to a big church and my pastor constantly reminds folks to not go "looking" and church isn't the place for that. 

God knows the *desires of your heart *and he'll bring Mr. Hairlove TO you, no matter what church you go to. 

stay encouraged!


----------



## inthepink (Nov 2, 2009)

Ok, I see the consensus so far and I appreciate the comments.  They make complete sense.

Well, how is one supposed to get past the loneliness they feel when going to church and not having anyone near their age to connect with?  I've joined serving committees, women's retreat, book clubs, studies, etc and have still yet to even meet women my age.  It is so discouraging and downright lonely.  I just want to give up sometimes and just go to church and come home.


----------



## Bunny77 (Nov 2, 2009)

I like Momi's idea of going to more group activities where there might be single Christian men. Does your church have events/conferences/etc., where you get to meet members of other churches? 

Of course, you know I don't see one problem with doing things to increase the likelihood of being in the presence of men who just might be seeking a wife. A woman can do those things without putting herself in the mindset of being the one that's "looking."


----------



## Bunny77 (Nov 2, 2009)

hairlove said:


> Ok, I see the consensus so far and I appreciate the comments.  They make complete sense.
> 
> Well, how is one supposed to get past the loneliness they feel when going to church and not having anyone near their age to connect with?  I've joined serving committees, women's retreat, book clubs, studies, etc and have still yet to even meet women my age.  It is so discouraging and downright lonely.  I just want to give up sometimes and just go to church and come home.



Do you like your current church home?


----------



## inthepink (Nov 2, 2009)

Bunny77 said:


> Do you like your current church home?



It's a great church except for what I mentioned - no single women my age or men.  I just feel like I'm the only person my age in the whole congregation.  Makes me a little sad.


----------



## Laela (Nov 2, 2009)

I understand more of what you're saying... I think the key is staying socially active:

*How about starting a MeetUp.com group*? That would be a very practical way to connect with other single Christians in area from other churches. Even visiting other churches on your own would be good. I see nothing wrong with that, either. At least you'll get a feel other churches before making any major decisions about leaving yours.

*Keeping an open mind with a lot of those all-female events will help*. The women's retreats are good, because we (women) -- as we get to know one another -- always seem to have a good man in mind for a sistah.  So even if the men aren't there physically, you never know what fellowshipping with the women bring. 

I'll post more ideas as they come to me....



hairlove said:


> Ok, I see the consensus so far and I appreciate the comments. They make complete sense.
> 
> Well, how is one supposed to get past the loneliness they feel when going to church and not having anyone near their age to connect with? I've joined serving committees, women's retreat, book clubs, studies, etc and have still yet to even meet women my age. It is so discouraging and downright lonely. I just want to give up sometimes and just go to church and come home.


----------



## inthepink (Nov 2, 2009)

Laela said:


> I understand more of what you're saying... I think the key is staying socially active:
> 
> *How about starting a MeetUp.com group*? That would be a very practical way to connect with other single Christians in area from other churches. Even visiting other churches on your own would be good. I see nothing wrong with that, either. At least you'll get a feel other churches before making any major decisions about leaving yours.
> 
> ...



Did I forget to mention the meetup.com group?   Yes, I've done that, too.  Actually just last week.  I did like it and and will attend again.  Thanks 

Laela - Thanks for taking a second look at the situation.  I do appreciate your feedback.


----------



## PinkPebbles (Nov 2, 2009)

Hi Hairlove -

In another thread Sidney's post reminded me about the story of Rebecca. 
God led Abraham's servant to find a wife for Isaac. This story is beautiful and it reminds me how God truly cares and knows the desires of our hearts.

Rebecca was found, sought out. She lived in a different country from Isaac...Yet, she was found and married!

I said of all this to say if God led you to your church home I personally would not leave. He led you there for a reason....and this scripture comes to mind "First seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all things will be added unto you."

Just because we cannot see what is going on that doesn't mean God is not working it out for our good. Rebecca did not have a clue what was going on but focused on her day to day duties (serving).  

For all you know God may have one of those married couples in your church set you up with one of their nephews, cousins, neighbor..... Who knows!?! 

I pray that you stay encouraged and don't give up!

I know that you want to position yourself to be found. But this is a little off topic....Men can spot a women that comes to church looking to be found. I was told it's her countenance / demeanor that screams "I want to be married." A look of desperation, loneliness, and neediness....


----------



## Bunny77 (Nov 2, 2009)

The only thing that I want to point out is that I think we also need to pay attention to the historical context and other details involved in the Rebecca/Ruth stories, because I feel that they're often incorrectly used as examples to singles today.

Rebecca was going about her business when she was found, true, but Rebecca was also a very young woman in her teens, probably, maybe early 20s. She was at the age in which most women would have been getting married at the time, so its very likely that if this servant had not seen her that day, she would have been "found" not too long after by someone else, and her parents and community would have made sure that she was "found." She would not have been in her late 20s-early 30s and still unmarried. There were too many men seeking wives back then and no culture of "singleness" that would have kept Rebecca from being "unfound."

Ruth had already been married and had developed the characteristics of a wife. Yes, she was going about her business when she met Boaz, but then she turned to her mother-in-law, Naomi, who guided her into positioning herself at Boaz's feet. It also helped that Boaz was a kinsman, and Naomi knew how to direct Ruth properly knowing Boaz's background and all.

What I see in both situations, and others in the Bible where a woman was "found" was direct interaction by family, friends, the community and others. None of this happened in a vacuum and these were not situations where God just played some cupid-like figure and put two people together. 

So I do agree with the sentiment that Hairlove could potentially have people in her current church work in her behalf, but no matter what, she needs a community. Only she knows the deal, but if her "community" is not guiding her in the process of becoming a wife, perhaps another community would. 

I too wouldn't suggest that she leave her current church immediately, but the idea of branching out, visiting other churches, looking into social groups, etc., could broaden her community and help her in this realm.


----------



## Laela (Nov 2, 2009)

This is true... Ruth basically got the "hook-up" from her MIL...




Bunny77 said:


> The only thing that I want to point out is that I think we also need to pay attention to the historical context and other details involved in the Rebecca/Ruth stories, because I feel that they're often incorrectly used as examples to singles today.


----------



## CandiceC (Nov 2, 2009)

PinkPebbles said:


> Hi Hairlove -
> 
> In another thread Sidney's post reminded me about the story of Rebecca.
> God led Abraham's servant to find a wife for Isaac. This story is beautiful and it reminds me how God truly cares and knows the desires of our hearts.
> ...



@ the bolded- That's what I was thinking. You never know!


----------



## Love Always (Nov 2, 2009)

> Ruth had already been married and had developed the characteristics of a wife. Yes, she was going about her business when she met Boaz, but then she turned to her mother-in-law, Naomi, who guided her into positioning herself at Boaz's feet. It also helped that Boaz was a kinsman, and Naomi knew how to direct Ruth properly knowing Boaz's background and all.



You know you telling the truth about Ruth.  I wish the church will instruct more single women to put themselves into situations where they could meet available single men.  A man isn't going to fall into your lap while you're  twiddling your thumbs...hoping, praying and wishing your husband will appear .  Put yourselves out there to be found .


----------



## Laela (Nov 4, 2009)

Come to think of it... I believe this is along the lines of faith with works.   




Nisha619 said:


> You know you telling the truth about Ruth.*  I wish the church will instruct more single women to put themselves into situations where they could meet available single men.*  A man isn't going to fall into your lap while you're  twiddling your thumbs...hoping, praying and wishing your husband will appear .  Put yourselves out there to be found .


----------



## inthepink (Nov 4, 2009)

Thanks everyone for your feedback.


----------



## LifeafterLHCF (Nov 4, 2009)

hairlove said:


> Thanks everyone for your feedback.


 

Ok Im kinda in a similar situation.However my church has about 10,000 members.Same issue because it seems everyone is booed up or just not in the right place in their walk with God.I have made a vow to myself to not go up to guys and to just throw myself into ministry.I want a man to be attracted to my intelligect and spirit because I know a guy won't be attracted to my body anytime soon.

If your not being feed anymore by your current church then its time to bounce if your are don't go.I know from reading alot of post on here its good to be around good Godly couples so you can see what a Godly marriage looks like.This way you will have some training and some idea what you will be getting into.


----------



## inthepink (Nov 4, 2009)

coco_diva4 said:


> Ok Im kinda in a similar situation.However my church has about 10,000 members.Same issue because it seems everyone is booed up or just not in the right place in their walk with God.I have made a vow to myself to not go up to guys and to just throw myself into ministry.I want a man to be attracted to my intelligect and spirit because I know a guy won't be attracted to my body anytime soon.
> 
> *If your not being feed anymore by your current church then its time to bounce if your are don't go.*I know from reading alot of post on here its good to be around good Godly couples so you can see what a Godly marriage looks like.This way you will have some training and some idea what you will be getting into.



See, that's the thing.  I AM being fed.  It's a great LOVING church.  I felt the love and openness upon my first visit.  But I'm so LONELY there.

I take a serious bible study class weekly (non-church related) so I don't know...was thinking that I can get my expository teaching that way and attend the larger church to be around more people my age (women as well as men).

{Sigh}


----------



## LifeafterLHCF (Nov 4, 2009)

hairlove said:


> See, that's the thing. I AM being fed. It's a great LOVING church. I felt the love and openness upon my first visit. But I'm so LONELY there.
> 
> I take a serious bible study class weekly (non-church related) so I don't know...was thinking that I can get my expository teaching that way and attend the larger church to be around more people my age (women as well as men).
> 
> {Sigh}


 

Ok well with you saying you are being fed then you need to stay.However that doesn't mean you can't partake in other events with singles at other churches and groups.The fact God has you in a loving church means he working on you.When you say your lonely is it because you feel there is no who can relate to your situation.Also in my vast knowledge of men and church all 23 years of life I find that many women don't find their boo in church but out and about.See by your going to a church where you are being feed then your light will shine so bright it will attract those men who are of God as well.Like a dog horn.Its only heard for those certain people.I know men will step that aren't of God but you will be so hip to the game you will just slide away.I have issues with some men in church bc they think its a buffet of women all you can eat...not at all.So just give your self time and throw yourself even further in the word.

And why do you feel its time to be married or booed up?


----------



## inthepink (Nov 4, 2009)

coco_diva4 said:


> Ok well with you saying you are being fed then you need to stay.*However that doesn't mean you can't partake in other events with singles at other churches and groups*.The fact God has you in a loving church means he working on you.When you say your lonely is it because you feel there is no who can relate to your situation.Also in my vast knowledge of men and church all 23 years of life I find that many women don't find their boo in church but out and about.See by your going to a church where you are being feed then your light will shine so bright it will attract those men who are of God as well.Like a dog horn.Its only heard for those certain people.I know men will step that aren't of God but you will be so hip to the game you will just slide away.I have issues with some men in church bc they think its a buffet of women all you can eat...not at all.So just give your self time and throw yourself even further in the word.
> 
> *And why do you feel its time to be married or booed up?*



Yes, I'm trying that as well.

Well, I am 37 years old.  I'm not getting any younger.  I haven't had a date in over 6 years and never a real relationship.  I'm tired of being alone.  I want a loving relationship with someone special.  If I want a Christian man and I'm not in places to meet one, I feel like I just lowered my chances even more.  Yes, I know there is that (small) possibility of meeting him outside of church but then there's the issue of approachability.


----------



## LifeafterLHCF (Nov 4, 2009)

hairlove said:


> Yes, I'm trying that as well.
> 
> Well, I am 37 years old. I'm not getting any younger. I haven't had a date in over 6 years and never a real relationship. I'm tired of being alone. I want a loving relationship with someone special. If I want a Christian man and I'm not in places to meet one, I feel like I just lowered my chances even more. Yes, I know there is that (small) possibility of meeting him outside of church but then there's the issue of approachability.


 

I understand that we are both not getting older.Have you ever thought God may be wanting to use which may mean not being married.I have  not had a real relationship and I have never had a proper date.I have never been with a guy with a car,good paying job and that is Godly.I often wonder why God why haven't a man even given me a compliment in the last 4 years.And Im learning God is growing me up and making me a real woman.I will keep you in my prayers and I know you will be awesome in whatever position God has for you.


----------



## inthepink (Nov 4, 2009)

coco_diva4 said:


> I* understand that we are both not getting older.Have you ever thought God may be wanting to use which may mean not being married.*I have  not had a real relationship and I have never had a proper date.I have never been with a guy with a car,good paying job and that is Godly.I often wonder why God why haven't a man even given me a compliment in the last 4 years.And Im learning God is growing me up and making me a real woman.I will keep you in my prayers and I know you will be awesome in whatever position God has for you.



I can't believe God would put this longing in my heart if he didn't want the desire to be fulfilled.  I really feel at this point, I shouldn't just sit and wait for the guy to come to my front door.  I feel like I need to take some sort of action.  I am not implying "forcing" anything.  I have no intentions of being the aggressor but simply putting myself in the situation to at least meet other men at least brings the opportunity vs living in a bubble with none.

Ah..I'm just getting sad talking and thinking about it.

Again, I appreciate all of the advice.


----------



## inthepink (Nov 4, 2009)

coco_diva4 said:


> I understand that we are both not getting older.Have you ever thought God may be wanting to use which may mean not being married.I have  not had a real relationship and I have never had a proper date.I have never been with a guy with a car,good paying job and that is Godly.I often wonder why God why haven't a man even given me a compliment in the last 4 years.And Im learning God is growing me up and making me a real woman.I will keep you in my prayers and I know you will be awesome in whatever position God has for you.



You are ONLY 23.  That's no reason to give up on marriage.  Just use your time wisely.  Start looking into ways now that you increase your chance of getting married.  I truly believe God does not want us growing old alone.  I really believe he wants us to have a partner.

I was listening to something yesterday and it said how at the beginning God made all of these things and at the end said "It was good."  But when he created man, he did not say that.  There was something missing.  A mate for Adam. So he made Eve.

We are alone out of circumstances not because that's what God wants - especially if that is the desire of our hearts.


----------



## LifeafterLHCF (Nov 4, 2009)

hairlove said:


> You are ONLY 23. That's no reason to give up on marriage. Just use your time wisely. Start looking into ways now that you increase your chance of getting married. I truly believe God does not want us growing old alone. I really believe he wants us to have a partner.
> 
> I was listening to something yesterday and it said how at the beginning God made all of these things and at the end said "It was good." But when he created man, he did not say that. There was something missing. A mate for Adam. So he made Eve.
> 
> We are alone out of circumstances not because that's what God wants - especially if that is the desire of our hearts.


 

True that we may have those feelings of wanting to wake up with someone  and experience a love that is close to that of God has for us.I know that God made us for more than marriage.I feel right now God is pruning me and refining me to be like the hope diamond.I also know that I can't be idle and just focus on a man or desire of one.I'm doing all I can to be out there ie voluteering and church groups to really be a blessing to others which means while Im doing what God wants he will help me with what I want.I know you will get that boo sooner I hope than later.Don't be said or weary in doing good..keep getting that word because you may need it in your marriage.


----------



## inthepink (Nov 4, 2009)

coco_diva4 said:


> True that we may have those feelings of wanting to wake up with someone  and experience a love that is close to that of God has for us.I know that God made us for more than marriage.I feel right now God is pruning me and refining me to be like the hope diamond.I also know that I can't be idle and just focus on a man or desire of one.I'm doing all I can to be out there ie voluteering and church groups to really be a blessing to others which means while Im doing what God wants he will help me with what I want.I know you will get that boo sooner I hope than later.Don't be said or weary in doing good..keep getting that word because you may need it in your marriage.



Well, of course.  I think you may have misunderstood the purpose of my post.

My post was not meant to imply to simply focus on marriage and nothing else.  However, I don't believe pursuing marriage is unbliblical or makes one "less holy."  You can volunteer at church and join church groups as well as desire marriage.  I don't think they have to be completely separate things.


----------



## Reminiscing (Nov 5, 2009)

hairlove said:


> You are ONLY 23.  That's no reason to give up on marriage.  Just use your time wisely.  Start looking into ways now that you increase your chance of getting married.  I truly believe God does not want us growing old alone.  I really believe he wants us to have a partner.
> 
> *I was listening to something yesterday and it said how at the beginning God made all of these things and at the end said "It was good."  But when he created man, he did not say that.  There was something missing.  A mate for Adam. So he made Eve.*
> 
> We are alone out of circumstances not because that's what God wants - especially if that is the desire of our hearts.



I've heard this before too and I think it's an excellent point.  As the first people on earth, God could have made a mother and her baby or a father and his son or even just two good friends but he didn't.  He made a husband and a wife.  Being that man and woman as mates was the first relationship ever created it sends a strong message that marriage sits high on God's list of blessings for us.  

I'm single so I do know how it feels to have doubt creep in to your mind from time to time.  But everyday, I ask God to renew my faith and my trust in Him.  I've just started doing the 31 days of prayer for my husband-to-be.  But instead of doing it in 31 days as laid out in the thread, I'm doing it as 31 weeks.  I believe God is still working on me so I don't want to rush it.  I'm doing prayer and fasting one day a week.  

Hairlove, I know it makes you feel lonely that you have never had a relationship before but on the flip side, I have had a long term relationship and I've still experienced deep loneliness.  My ex and I dated for a long time and got as far as picking out the rings but then it all came crashing to an end.  So on top of the loneliness I had from losing the love of my life, I also had a broken heart, I lost my self-esteem and I lost trust in others.  I was just all messed up.   So I know you wish you could get past the pain from the loneliness but be thankful for the other types of pain that God is protecting you from.  When you finally meet your prince charming, you won't meet him with baggage from another relationship.  And trust me, that's a blessing because getting rid of baggage is a hard thing to do.

Also, that experience made me realize that loneliness doesn't come from a lack of companionship.  It comes from a lack of happiness and a lack of joy.  I've heard several married women say that they have a husband and kids but yet they feel lonely.  I'm still single but yet I don't feel lonely anymore.  I had to find what made me happy and once I did the loneliness was gone.  For me, it was starting my own business for you it may be something else but either way it's a daily battle.  The loneliness tries to creep in sometimes but I rebuke it like I rebuke a bad cold.  Loneliness is a tool of the devil.  Don't let him have the victory.

I don't have much else to say except that you're not in this alone.  I'm right here with you waiting for my husband-to-be.  I hope this hug can help you fight off some loneliness this week.


----------



## royalty84 (Nov 5, 2009)

CandiceC said:


> @ the bolded- That's what I was thinking. You never know!


 
I was thinking the same thing too! I've been the victim of married couples (esp. newlyweds) trying to get everyone in their radius boo'ed up . So hey, don't discount the married folk--that might work out for you! Since you're serious about it, like others on here have said, you can keep putting yourself 'out there' by going to different events. If your friend has a party or get-together, go to that, and ask the host to introduce you to some of their friends. Take a trip out of town with a friend, and socialize while you're there. Just continue to live your life, doing the things that you like/love to do, and you never know what you may come across. I know that you're not trying to be aggressive, but just make sure that you're not going above and beyond by going places/doing things that you usually wouldn't be comfortable doing.There's nothing attractive about being a fish out of water. 

So yes, go out & be social, but God doesn't want you to run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to position yourself either. Do it all in moderation, and trust that God has been hooking people up for centuries without our help .  I personally wouldn't be so drastic about the situation to the point of changing churches. That is serious business, and you don't know what you'll be missing out (in general) on if you're out of place. There's much to be said about being where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there...


----------



## inthepink (Nov 5, 2009)

royalty84 said:


> I was thinking the same thing too! I've been the victim of married couples (esp. newlyweds) trying to get everyone in their radius boo'ed up . So hey, don't discount the married folk--that might work out for you! Since you're serious about it, like others on here have said, you can keep putting yourself 'out there' by going to different events. If your friend has a party or get-together, go to that, and ask the host to introduce you to some of their friends.



Royalty - I see where you're coming from and appreciate it. (you know there's a but coming...)

I certainly don't discount the married people.  But usually if they ask if I have a husband, I get the sad pity look and then nothing else.  They never mention it again.  I think they just don't know what to say and I understand that. Nevertheless, still leaves me feeling alone when everyone is talking about their husband or children and I have neither.

One time a friend's mother tried to set me up with a man she and her husband ran into while out of town.  The only thing we had in common was race.  I hate that. So I don't count on it.   (But that's a whole other topic!  )


----------



## momi (Nov 6, 2009)

Just my two cents:  I am one of those married folk always trying to hook someone up.  A girlfriend of mine always said she wasnt interested in getting married... she is beautiful and spirit filled, but I think she felt this way because the outlook was dim in that area.  Recently, my husband was re-aquainted with an old friend... his friend and my friend just "happened" to both attend an event recently and it has been "ON" ever since.  

I am really praying that this leads to marriage. 

The reason I am sharing this is that we are not to give up hope.  Our church does not have many single many at all (I can count the active ones on one hand), but if this is indeed her intended mate God can bring your man to you wherever you are.

Overnight she went from sitting home praying, to praying with her new friend on the phone and being courted in a serious way.

Thats all Im saying...


----------



## Prudent1 (Nov 6, 2009)

Reminiscing said:


> I've heard this before too and I think it's an excellent point. As the first people on earth, God could have made a mother and her baby or a father and his son or even just two good friends but he didn't. He made a husband and a wife. Being that man and woman as mates was the first relationship ever created it sends a strong message that marriage sits high on God's list of blessings for us.
> 
> I'm single so I do know how it feels to have doubt creep in to your mind from time to time. But everyday, I ask God to renew my faith and my trust in Him. I've just started doing the 31 days of prayer for my husband-to-be. But instead of doing it in 31 days as laid out in the thread, I'm doing it as 31 weeks. I believe God is still working on me so I don't want to rush it. I'm doing prayer and fasting one day a week.
> 
> ...


The bolded is so true... hang in there Hairlove. Do have a full social life if that's what you want but I would _not_ change churches especially since you are being fed spritually and are growing.


----------



## inthepink (Nov 6, 2009)

I appreciate all of the stories.  You ladies have given me a lot to think about.  Right now, I haven't made any concrete decisions.

I do have something lined up over the next 3 weeks that have nothing to do with my church and should put me in the mix with other singles.  So, maybe it can work without switching churches.  Still on the fence.


----------



## ToyToy (Nov 6, 2009)

hairlove said:


> Ok, I see the consensus so far and I appreciate the comments.  They make complete sense.
> 
> Well, how is one supposed to get past the loneliness they feel when going to church and not having anyone near their age to connect with?  I've joined serving committees, women's retreat, book clubs, studies, etc and have still yet to even meet women my age.  It is so discouraging and downright lonely.  I just want to give up sometimes and just go to church and come home.



If you feel the need to leave the church because it isn't doing anything for your spiritual growth, then I'd say go ahead. But if it's because there is a shortage of available men, then I don't think it's a good idea to leave.
God can move your husband to your church just because of you. I have heard stories where people moved church (men as well as women), didn't quite know why (just went by God's instruction) and the met their partner that way.

I am in a church where there are people my age (some single, many in relationships and even more in marriages), but I have yet to "meet" someone (and I've been there for almost 6 years). Would I leave my church because of that? No. Do I sometimes get frustrated? Yes. But I also know that my time will come, and when it comes, it will be well worth the wait.
Please don't get discouraged. I really do feel your pain. But I also know that God is not blind, neither is He indifferent to your pain. He's always working on your behalf.


----------

