# Single lades:1 corinthians 7 lets discuss.



## kally (Mar 20, 2008)

So this morning I read all of 1 corinthains 7. It spoke to those who are unmarried.

 To sum it up, from what I read and understood it to mean:  is that it stated how is was great to be single, (even better then being married)because it make you love the Lord more  and that if you were to be married you may love your husband/wife more then the Lord.

This was dishearting to me because, one of the desires of my heart is to get married. I think that I would still love God more then my husband or anyone or thing in this world if I was married. Then again God knows me better then I know I myself. 

Do you think this is the reason God allows so many of us to still be single  even after we have prayed for years and years for a husband? Because he knows that we will not love and put him first if we are married?


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## nychaelasymone (Mar 20, 2008)

kally said:


> So this morning I read all of 1 corinthains 7. It spoke to those who are unmarried.
> 
> To sum it up, from what I read and understood it to mean: is that it stated how is was great to be single, (even better then being married)because it make you love the Lord more and that if you were to be married you may love your husband/wife more then the Lord.
> 
> ...


 
DISCLAIMER:This is my interpretation and my opinion only- 
Somehwere it states, its better to marry than to burn with passion.  If you feel you are called to be married, than there's nothing wrong with that. Some of us can quiet our sexual urges and desire for companionship and be fine with a life of singledom.  Others do not have that desire.  I think Paul was communicating that if you are single, its a good thing, you  can commit yourself fully to the business of the Lord.  If you marry, yes, your focus is on your husband and family and you can't devote the amount of time to the Lord as you did single, but that's not wrong either.  Adam and Eve are our first examples of a marriage. God created marriage to glorify him. When married, you are to submit to a covering, your husband and provide for your household.  I think its in Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a godly wife and her responsiblities.  Also in Titus 2:5 it talks about more wifely characteristics.  There's nothing to be discouraged about, everything God ordaines brings Him glory.


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## nychaelasymone (Mar 20, 2008)

Do you think this is the reason God allows so many of us to still be single even after we have prayed for years and years for a husband? Because he knows that we will not love and put him first if we are married?

I didn't really answer your question.  As a single myself, it gets hard to hold on to faith that God is going join me with my husband but I do know in my heart that I was called to be married and I know that I can perform the duties of a wife.  Everything in God's divine time.  You can't hold on to age and time because God doesn't work like that.  God created marriage to glorify Him and if you put Him first in your single life, why would you forget Him when you're married?  I don't think God works like that.....AGAIN MY PERSONAL OPINION


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## Bunny77 (Mar 20, 2008)

kally said:


> So this morning I read all of 1 corinthains 7. It spoke to those who are unmarried.
> 
> To sum it up, from what I read and understood it to mean:  is that it stated how is was great to be single, (even better then being married)because it make you love the Lord more  and that if you were to be married you may love your husband/wife more then the Lord.
> 
> ...




Hi Kally! I have been reading many interpretations of I Corinthians 7, and I have a different interpretation... of course, I am a member of the "Singleness is NOT a Gift" crowd, so my interpretations are very much pro-marriage.

I promise to get back to you on this later... I have to get ready to go to work, but this is up my alley! Don't give up on your desire... I'm not! 

Oh, and P.S. I think nychaelasymone did a great job of breaking things down!!!


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## kally (Mar 20, 2008)

nychaelasymone said:


> DISCLAIMER:This is my interpretation and my opinion only-
> Somehwere it states, its better to marry than to burn with passion.  If you feel you are called to be married, than there's nothing wrong with that. Some of us can quiet our sexual urges and desire for companionship and be fine with a life of singledom.  Others do not have that desire.  I think Paul was communicating that if you are single, its a good thing, you  can commit yourself fully to the business of the Lord.  If you marry, yes, your focus is on your husband and family and you can't devote the amount of time to the Lord as you did single, but that's not wrong either.  Adam and Eve are our first examples of a marriage. God created marriage to glorify him. When married, you are to submit to a covering, your husband and provide for your household.  I think its in Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a godly wife and her responsiblities.  Also in Titus 2:5 it talks about more wifely characteristics.  There's nothing to be discouraged about, everything God ordaines brings Him glory.




This what I had always been brought to believe as well.


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## kally (Mar 20, 2008)

Bunny77 said:


> Hi Kally! I have been reading many interpretations of I Corinthians 7, and I have a different interpretation... of course, I am a member of the "Singleness is NOT a Gift" crowd, so my interpretations are very much pro-marriage.
> 
> I promise to get back to you on this later... I have to get ready to go to work, but this is up my alley! Don't give up on your desire... I'm not!
> 
> Oh, and P.S. I think nychaelasymone did a great job of breaking things down!!!




I think my problem is I over analize things, which makes it a hard read for me. Because I know that there are verses in the bible that state it is good to be married, so maybe i am not understanding what it is all about.


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## nychaelasymone (Mar 20, 2008)

kally said:


> I think my problem is I over analize things, which makes it a hard read for me. Because I know that there are verses in the bible that state it is good to be married, so maybe i am not understanding what it is all about.


 
Worry is not of God and I would like to encourage you to start working on your thought life.  I don't mean to sound harsh either.  We all have areas of our lives where we have to work on surrendering to God.  If you feel the Lord is leading you to be married or whatever your calling may be, than don't allow your thoughts to keep you from what's already yours.  Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not to thy own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and *He shall direct your paths.*


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## kayte (Mar 20, 2008)

imho
In the opening book of the Word....states 
"It is not good for man to be alone" this is directly from our Father
who created the sacred institution of marriage ...
Jesus supplied the wine at a _wedding..._
God fully knew before He created it... what wld be entailed in worshipping HIM  and in relation to submission to a husband.      
Marriage it is a beautiful gift to be cherished and of course as a  desire of the heart...to be honor the desire for this gift.

btw 
Some of Paul's teachings were (and he freely acknowledges and qualifies this in the Bible) though spiritually motivated.... were of _his own opinion...._




> ...* of course, I am a member of the "Singleness is NOT a Gift" crowd, so my interpretations are very much pro-marriage.*


 
I just joined!
tho, I've probly been an unofficial member all along
since 6 years old and asked Keith,
a 7 year old friend of my brother's..not if, but _when _we were getting married..3 times......I moved on to an 8th grader when I was 9


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## janiebaby (Mar 20, 2008)

When I start to feel as you do, I often turn to these bible verses instead of those on marriage and singleness which speak more to the culture of biblical times. 

There is nothing wrong with wanting a mate and wanting to get married. Nothing at all. God made us to be attracted to one another. I posted these verses below because we as people have a tendency to engage in idolatry without even knowing it. Idolatry is when you place something or someone before God. It is easy to do this without even knowing it. 

If you would like to know my personal experience with my idolatry of men, PM me.

To answer your original questions, 

*"Do you think this is the reason God allows so many of us to still be single even after we have prayed for years and years for a husband? Because he knows that we will not love and put him first if we are married?"*

please read the verses below...


*EXO 20:3* "You shall have no other gods before me.

4  "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in 
heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.
*Isaiah 46:7 ESV  *

They lift it to their shoulders, they carry it, they set it in its place, and it stands there; it cannot move from its place. If one cries to it, it does not answer or save him from his trouble
*Judges 10:14 ESV *

*Go and cry out to the gods whom you have chosen; let them save you in the time of your distress.” *

This is directed to any person who reads this. What do you talk about most often - Sports, Women, Men or God? 

What do you ask for the most in your prayers - Money, Relationships, Car or to be able to serve God better?

I'm not trying to be preachy and say that people should not try to go out and meet people. Try to look nice to attract a mate. Or ask someone to hook you up. 

I just want people to be careful of becoming like the woman in the "I love him more than God" thread. Which is how many people feel but few will admit.


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## kayte (Mar 20, 2008)

With all due respect..the original question regarding a (imho a healthy human desire) the issue of marriage versus singlehood..and God's will in this mix...based on the apostle Paul's perception of that issue....does not jibe for me with..... idolatry... So I'm confused by all of those biblical references...

btw....
You can be single and..idolalize your...cat.....your house..your hair...your .career..even..compulsively _being alone ..self isolating_ can be another form of idolatry....it can _anything_.... fill in the blank 
irregardless of maritial status. A desire or wish or even a need does not qualify for idolatry 

idolatry of men certainly can be an issue,even someone else's issue, sure and possibly another thread? ....but the issue ...at hand is addressing something entirely different.imho


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## janiebaby (Mar 20, 2008)

kayte said:


> With all due respect..the original question regarding a (imho a healthy human desire) the issue of marraige versus singlehood..and God's will in this mix...based on the apostle Paul's perception of that issue....does not jibe for me with..... idolatry... So I'm confused by all of those biblical references...
> 
> *btw....*
> *You can be single and..idolalize your...cat.....your house..your hair...your ...even..compulsively being alone ..self isolating can be another form of idolatry....fill in the blank *
> ...


 

LOL! I understand and I was about to post another thread but for some reason I posted it here to help someone. I totally agree with the bolded which is wrong too. Hope you're not as upset as your post sounds....Go with God.


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## kally (Mar 20, 2008)

nychaelasymone said:


> Worry is not of God and I would like to encourage you to start working on your thought life.  I don't mean to sound harsh either.  We all have areas of our lives where we have to work on surrendering to God.  If you feel the Lord is leading you to be married or whatever your calling may be, than don't allow your thoughts to keep you from what's already yours.  Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not to thy own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and *He shall direct your paths.*



You don't sound harsh at all. I hate the fact that I am impatient person. its like if I don't get something in what I think is a timely manner then I no longer desire it. Like children for instance:.

I wanted be a mother so bad, but before the age of 30. with 35 being my cut off.  Now I am almost half way to the age of 33, no man is sight for get about a  husband and  knowing how long it takes AA men to marry the timing will not let this desire to come to pass. So now I have no desire to be a mother. I had no choice not to want one because I after this summer I physically will not be able to have children.

I suffer from a long history of Menorrhagia , cyst on the ovaries and possibly endometrios. I will know after today. I have been dealing with this since the age of 24 and only because I wanted kids in the future. 

My family and I have prayed about for years and its still there. So I plan to have the Endometrial Ablation surgery done which I truly feel is the answer from God. I can not suffer any longer and B.C is out. This  surgery will not allow for me to have children.  I am not saying God does not heal I seen and heard it time and time again, but I feel that kids was not meant to be for me. I had no choice but to get the thougth process going in not wanting them.


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## kayte (Mar 20, 2008)

O Gee! Did I sound upset??????  Oh so sorry,Janiebaby!
That's what so weird about emails..lol they can't always speak for you 

But... Oh my goodness ....no!
Not in the least....

And btw, I've been in the fan club of idolizing-a-man so I know 
what I speak of...but hopefully cancelled my status in that particular sorority with the help of God... one relationship at a time 

Bliss...xoxo


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## kayte (Mar 20, 2008)

Kally putting you in prayer...
& understanding now better with why you posted 
pm me if you like... 
I can share something personal maybe might be useful?


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## janiebaby (Mar 20, 2008)

kally said:


> You don't sound harsh at all. I hate the fact that I am impatient person. its like if I don't get something in what I think is a timely manner then I no longer desire it. Like children for instance:.
> 
> I wanted be a mother so bad, but before the age of 30. with 35 being my cut off. Now I am almost half way to the age of 33, no man is sight for get about a husband and knowing how long it takes AA men to marry the timing will not let this desire to come to pass. So now I have no desire to be a mother. I had no choice not to want one because I after this summer I physically will not be able to have children.
> 
> ...


 
I'm sorry you're going through this Kally. I have endometriosis and had to undergo a laporatomy (sp?). My situation is a little different because I don't know for sure whether or not I can have children because the dr. told me I won't know until I try. I do know that the pain and suffering that comes along with this illness is something that few people can truly understand. I'm here for you.


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## kally (Mar 20, 2008)

janiebaby said:


> I'm sorry you're going through this Kally. I have endometriosis and had to undergo a laporatomy (sp?). My situation is a little different because I don't know for sure whether or not I can have children because the dr. told me I won't know until I try. I do know that the pain and suffering that comes along with this illness is something that few people can truly understand. I'm here for you.



Yeah this illness is no joke. I actually plan things around it. I use to think what I was going through was normal until read other wise erplexed 

 I read about the Laporatomy procedure


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## nychaelasymone (Mar 20, 2008)

kally said:


> You don't sound harsh at all. I hate the fact that I am impatient person. its like if I don't get something in what I think is a timely manner then I no longer desire it. Like children for instance:.
> 
> I wanted be a mother so bad, but before the age of 30. with 35 being my cut off. Now I am almost half way to the age of 33, no man is sight for get about a husband and knowing how long it takes AA men to marry the timing will not let this desire to come to pass. So now I have no desire to be a mother. I had no choice not to want one because I after this summer I physically will not be able to have children.
> 
> ...


 
Let me say this, I'm no doctor and nor do I want to come off as a know it all but we serve a God who can do anything.  Do not allow your thoughts to become your reality.  God said, have the faith of a mustard seed and you can move a mountain.  Do you honestly believe He said that to hear himself speak.  Set your mind on things above, when you become saved, you become a new creature, God makes the impossible possible.  ( I truly pray I am not coming off like a Cliche).  You have the desire to physically give birth to your own children, guess what, speak it!!! Believe it!!! Speak to your uterus with all the power of Christ and tell it to be still and healed in the name of JESUS! And walk in it...walk like it is healed and watch the power of God.  God is not a man that He should lie!!! Its in His word...receive that and don't turn back.  Don't allow your thoughts to overcome what you know is yours!!!!!   Look at Sarah, she birthed a baby in her 90's...the woman was close to 100 years old and the Lord blessed her body, her uterus w/ a child!!!!!! Don't get caught up in age and time.  We put those retraints on ourselves, not God.  I'm 33, I thought I'd be married right now, with children falling all over me but guess what?  I'm not, yes, I get discouraged but I realize that honoring God with my life is far more important than me feeling down.  He's going to bless me!! My husband is being molded and shaped right now for me.  I pray for Him as if he is mine.  I pray for my body and believe God is going to bless my womb.  I've had cysts, fibroids, bad cycles, blah blah blah....but everytime I felt my womb being attacked.....PEACE BE STILL!!!!! ha bless the Lord!!!!!! bless His name!!!!!! I will give birth!!!!!!! and the will for you life be done right now in the name of Jesus!!!!! Change your mind,...Change your life!!!!!


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## chicacanella (Mar 20, 2008)

kally said:


> So this morning I read all of 1 corinthains 7. It spoke to those who are unmarried.
> 
> To sum it up, from what I read and understood it to mean: is that it stated how is was great to be single, (even better then being married)because it make you love the Lord more and that if you were to be married you may love your husband/wife more then the Lord.
> 
> ...


 

I understand what this scripture to mean is that some people have the gift of singleness, that they can be alone but some people don't. If you are desiring a husband, then you probably don't have that gift. When you are single, you can give more time to God and doing his will but when you are married you have familial responsibilities like taking care of your family. I don't think it is wrong to want to be married, I think that is a natural desire God has given all of us but some people were given the gift of being content with being single. I think that number is very few though.


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## kally (Mar 20, 2008)

nychaelasymone said:


> Let me say this, I'm no doctor and nor do I want to come off as a know it all but we serve a God who can do anything.  Do not allow your thoughts to become your reality.  God said, have the faith of a mustard seed and you can move a mountain.  Do you honestly believe He said that to hear himself speak.  Set your mind on things above, when you become saved, you become a new creature, God makes the impossible possible.  ( I truly pray I am not coming off like a Cliche).  You have the desire to physically give birth to your own children, guess what, speak it!!! Believe it!!! Speak to your uterus with all the power of Christ and tell it to be still and healed in the name of JESUS! And walk in it...walk like it is healed and watch the power of God.  God is not a man that He should lie!!! Its in His word...receive that and don't turn back.  Don't allow your thoughts to overcome what you know is yours!!!!!   Look at Sarah, she birthed a baby in her 90's...the woman was close to 100 years old and the Lord blessed her body, her uterus w/ a child!!!!!! Don't get caught up in age and time.  We put those retraints on ourselves, not God.  I'm 33, I thought I'd be married right now, with children falling all over me but guess what?  I'm not, yes, I get discouraged but I realize that honoring God with my life is far more important than me feeling down.  He's going to bless me!! My husband is being molded and shaped right now for me.  I pray for Him as if he is mine.  I pray for my body and believe God is going to bless my womb.  I've had cysts, fibroids, bad cycles, blah blah blah....but everytime I felt my womb being attacked.....PEACE BE STILL!!!!! ha bless the Lord!!!!!! bless His name!!!!!! I will give birth!!!!!!! and the will for you life be done right now in the name of Jesus!!!!! Change your mind,...Change your life!!!!!



No offense to anyone, but I have always wanted to grow old with my kids. I never wanted to be 50 when my child turned 20. I have just alway had that mind set. 

Yes I know that God has let the barren bare children, but I feel this is the way for me to go. I have thought, prayed and fasted long and hard over ending it all (reproduction system) for over a year  now. I was going to get a hystorectomy (sp) but I choose this route so I don't have to go on the harmone shots.

The benefits out way by far the disadvantages for me.


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## kally (Mar 20, 2008)

chicacanella said:


> I understand what this scripture to mean is that some people have the gift of singleness, that they can be alone but some people don't. If you are desiring a husband, then you probably don't have that gift. When you are single, you can give more time to God and doing his will but when you are married you have familial responsibilities like taking care of your family. I don't think it is wrong to want to be married, I think that is a natural desire God has given all of us but some people were given the gift of being content with being single. I think that number is very few though.



This really breaks it down for me. thanks. This make a whole lot more sense.


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## PaperClip (Mar 20, 2008)

nychaelasymone said:


> Let me say this, I'm no doctor and nor do I want to come off as a know it all but we serve a God who can do anything. Do not allow your thoughts to become your reality. God said, have the faith of a mustard seed and you can move a mountain. Do you honestly believe He said that to hear himself speak. Set your mind on things above, when you become saved, you become a new creature, God makes the impossible possible. ( I truly pray I am not coming off like a Cliche). You have the desire to physically give birth to your own children, guess what, speak it!!! Believe it!!! Speak to your uterus with all the power of Christ and tell it to be still and healed in the name of JESUS! And walk in it...walk like it is healed and watch the power of God. God is not a man that He should lie!!! Its in His word...receive that and don't turn back. Don't allow your thoughts to overcome what you know is yours!!!!! Look at Sarah, she birthed a baby in her 90's...the woman was close to 100 years old and the Lord blessed her body, her uterus w/ a child!!!!!! Don't get caught up in age and time. We put those retraints on ourselves, not God. I'm 33, I thought I'd be married right now, with children falling all over me but guess what? I'm not, yes, I get discouraged but I realize that honoring God with my life is far more important than me feeling down. He's going to bless me!! My husband is being molded and shaped right now for me. I pray for Him as if he is mine. I pray for my body and believe God is going to bless my womb. I've had cysts, fibroids, bad cycles, blah blah blah....but everytime I felt my womb being attacked.....PEACE BE STILL!!!!! ha bless the Lord!!!!!! bless His name!!!!!! I will give birth!!!!!!! and the will for you life be done right now in the name of Jesus!!!!! Change your mind,...Change your life!!!!!


 
My God.... My God.... Speak life into this thread, sister!

I think we need to keep it real...based on how this thread is turning.... Is it less about being SINGLE and more about the desires of marriage AND CHILDREN? How far should the single Christian female go to have children? I (kind of) joked with my pastor's wife once when my desire to have children awakened (to my surprise). After a few years went on (when I thought I would be married), I told my pastor's wife I was gonna get in-vitro/sperm bank. That way, I wouldn't be "sinning" because I wasn't fornicating. I was willing to pay for it and everything!

She simply said that that wasn't God's plan (or way)...she said one of those things.... 

Sigh....

I don't have much to add because I'm am SO DONE debating and defending my desire for marriage and family in relation to the balance of my loyalty to the Lord Jesus Christ. I also know of a number of stories of women in my church whom the doctors said no re. children, but these women have 1, 2, 3 babies jumping off the ceiling, Glory to God!

I suggest that each and every one of you concerned about children to get the book "Supernatural Childbirth" and read it. http://www.amazon.com/Supernatural-Childbirth-Jackie-Mize/dp/0892747560

Peace and blessings to you all.


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## kally (Mar 20, 2008)

I guess for me I just plain give up. I have prayed and I have prayed over marriage and children for years. I am burned out. Tired  of worring and just can't take it anymore. So I guess Gods answer was no for me. I will just have to except that. It is just to much for me to keep on hoping when all the signals are clearly no.

I would rather no want for something, then to not have faith in God.

I see all the time  the miracles God does, weddings, births etc...
But if the answer is no on something, why keep wanting something that is not to be.


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## nychaelasymone (Mar 20, 2008)

kally said:


> No offense to anyone, but I have always wanted to grow old with my kids. I never wanted to be 50 when my child turned 20. I have just alway had that mind set.
> 
> Yes I know that God has let the barren bare children, but I feel this is the way for me to go. I have thought, prayed and fasted long and hard over ending it all (reproduction system) for over a year now. I was going to get a hystorectomy (sp) but I choose this route so I don't have to go on the harmone shots.
> 
> The benefits out way by far the disadvantages for me.


 
Please forgive me if I offend you in any way.  That is truly not my hearts desire but you are thinking for yourself.  God's plan for you life may be different than what you plan for your life.  We must always remind ourselves that God is perfect and his timing is perfect.  If you have the desire than its there for a reason.  Let go and let God, at the end of the day we are responsible for applying the word to our lives.  If I have it my way, I'm with you, I don't want to be 50 raising my children but I haven't given up on God. We place these limitations on our lives that God didn't intend for us.  Honstely, what's wrong w/ being 50 with 20 year old children, do you think your life is going to be less than because of your age?  One day at a time sista, one day at a time.  You may be surprised at the power of God once you release yourself and honeslty apply God.  Again, please don't take my statement harshly.  I just remember a time in my life when I thought I was trusting God, but I wasn't.  I was trusting God until my limitations were met and then I gave up.  God is good and he hasn't forgotten you.  His mercies are new everyday.


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## nychaelasymone (Mar 20, 2008)

kally said:


> I guess for me I just plain give up. I have prayed and I have prayed over marriage and children for years. I am burned out. Tired of worring and just can't take it anymore. So I guess Gods answer was no for me. I will just have to except that. It is just to much for me to keep on hoping when all the signals are clearly no.
> 
> I would rather no want for something, then to not have faith in God.
> 
> ...


 
A non-answer is not a denial!!!!!!!!! What signals say no? Just because He didn't answer in the time you felt He should? Worrying is not of God!!!!!!! You forget that He loves you and He knows your desires. It may not be you but God may be working something out on the other end. Would you rather receive what you want when you wanted it with God knowing it wasn't your time and at a point and stage when your husband wasn't ready and able to provide for a family or be the proper covering for you. Would you rather be in a position where you might suffer because God decided to just give you what you wanted when you wanted it. It's like baking a cake, would you eat a half baked cake or would you want one that fully baked, frosted, and oh-so delicious in your favorite flavor? I take the fully baked-favorite flavor please for $1,000 Alex. It is hard, exhausting at times, discouraging, especially when you see God moving in other people lives, but guess what. Marriage is to glorify Him!!!! Give it to Him and you stop worrying yourself over something that's already done for you. Keep loving God, keep putting Him first, keep doing what is right and before you know it, your blessing is going to pour down on you like nothing you've ever felt before. Smile, its already done.


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## kayte (Mar 20, 2008)

..I think to be truly available to marriage one needs to surrender to God totally and at the same time be 100% pro-active in being available...
I had a hidden agenda of cultivating a lifestyle that kept me,invisible, ambivalent..ultimately invested in remaining single though I keep saying I want to be married... and i m really examing this,now 

the faith step according to James is action..taking the one or several actions that we can do (and that can even mean active non-action ..like I cannot rehash this in my head anymore)..or I will read affirming scriptures or whatever,, and releasing the rest... the worry...the striving, the outcome to God...

You are young! 35 IS young.....and your are not even there yet...and God has given you... _so much good_... to look foward to....
Anything can happen with God at anytime....tommorow..next month
anytime....


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## kally (Mar 20, 2008)

Hey ladies

My shift at work is over. I have not gotten a chance to read the newer respons, but I will respond back tomorrow.


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## Bunny77 (Mar 20, 2008)

chicacanella said:


> I understand what this scripture to mean is that some people have the gift of singleness, that they can be alone but some people don't. If you are desiring a husband, then you probably don't have that gift. When you are single, you can give more time to God and doing his will but when you are married you have familial responsibilities like taking care of your family. I don't think it is wrong to want to be married, I think that is a natural desire God has given all of us but some people were given the gift of being content with being single. *I think that number is very few though.*



Exactly. The number is almost miniscule, I'd say. 

If you desire marriage, then you don't have the gift of singleness. Period.


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## MissNatural (Mar 20, 2008)

nychaelasymone said:


> A non-answer is not a denial!!!!!!!!! What signals say no? Just because He didn't answer in the time you felt He should? Worrying is not of God!!!!!!! You forget that He loves you and He knows your desires. It may not be you but God may be working something out on the other end. Would you rather receive what you want when you wanted it with God knowing it wasn't your time and at a point and stage when your husband wasn't ready and able to provide for a family or be the proper covering for you. Would you rather be in a position where you might suffer because God decided to just give you what you wanted when you wanted it. It's like baking a cake, would you eat a half baked cake or would you want one that fully baked, frosted, and oh-so delicious in your favorite flavor? I take the fully baked-favorite flavor please for $1,000 Alex. It is hard, exhausting at times, discouraging, especially when you see God moving in other people lives, but guess what. Marriage is to glorify Him!!!! Give it to Him and you stop worrying yourself over something that's already done for you. Keep loving God, keep putting Him first, keep doing what is right and before you know it, your blessing is going to pour down on you like nothing you've ever felt before. Smile, its already done.




Hallelujah!!!!!  In the name of Jesus, speak the truth!!!!  A non answer is not a denial!  Amen Jesus!  Oh Lord, I'm about to start praising His name up in here!!!

I am not going to lie, I am one of those people who would rather decide to stay single instead of "waiting" for God to fulfill my desire to be married and RISK the chance that His answer will be no.  I am a control freak!  Letting God take control is painful for me to do!

Ladies, the devil wants us to focus on our present state!!!  This will keep us from fulfilling God's will in the time He originally planned.  My pastor said that the journey through the wilderness should have taken the Israelites about 3 months, instead it took 490 years??!?!?!  Was that God's original plan?  Heck no!  But thank the Lord God He is patient with us!  2 Peter 3:9 says "The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness.  He is patient with you."  Praise God for His faithfulness despite our faithlessness!!!

Ladies do you know what the Lord has shown me time and time again?!  Many times in my life the Lord has seemingly said, "No" to me regarding a desire of mine.  When I finally let go and accepted His will, BAM!  The Lord shows up with the very thing that I wanted.  I believe the Lord loves surprises and He loves to give us a testimony.  The last time the Lord did this for me was with my current job.  I'll try to be brief:


Well this story starts way back in November when I first saw the email for this job offer. It was to be a teacher in a deaf/hh program in a high school until the end of the school year.  The current teacher was going on maternity leave.  I sent my resume and cover letter to the teacher, she responded and said she would pass my info on to the dean.  I was very excited.  I don’t remember worrying about the fact that I didn’t have teacher certification (I'm currently earning my MA in Deaf Education).  Anyway, the teacher quickly contacted me and basically made it seem as though they would hire me.  Everything seemed to be in place.  I was very excited and thrilled for this new experience.  Then, the bad news rolled in… they could not hire me as a long term sub without me having certification.  All my hopes and plans came to a screeching holt.  But, after I threw a small pity party for myself, I accepted it and moved on with no hard feelings.  I started looking on the dcjobs.com website and found substitute positions and afterschool positions at a charter school in DC.  I decided I would apply there and a few other places.  

Lo and behold one lazy January afternoon my phone rings. This lady asks me if I’m still interested in the position at the High School.  I was like, why is she calling me back when I was already told I could not do it??  I informed her that I was told I could not accept the job because I don’t have certification.  She said she was aware and basically it was difficult trying to find anyone who had the necessary qualifications.  Of course I told her I was still interested.  We both planned to have an interview the week I went back to VA.  The following week I went to the school for an interview and a few days later I was informed that they wanted to hire me.  The second part of the battle was that I am still a full time student so I would have some class conflicts with this job.  I knew it was going to take a miracle for everything to work out and I was so ready and willing to accept disappointment from the Lord.  Lo and behold, the Lord worked His miracle and I was able to take the classes I needed and accept the job offer.  I almost felt guilty that the Lord gave me what I wanted and what was seemingly impossible.  It's like He was saying, "did you think I would not give you the best?"  It’s amazing is all I can say.  You know, the Lord knew I wanted the job back in November and He could have given it to me at that time.  But NOOOO!!!!!!!!!  Jesus is in the miracle working/performing business and therefore He loves to work with impossible situations.  But of course, there are no impossible situations with the Lord.  Everything is just a situation for Him.  I wonder how our faith would grow if we looked at it that way.  How many times have we heard the “nothing is impossible with God” texts?  Seriously, when we come to God with our wants, desires, wishes and hopes… do we come thinking we have to convince the One who CAN make it all possible?  Do we come unsure and doubtful, anticipating a great big and thunderous, “NO!  BE GONE!!”  What kind of God do we serve?  What kind of God do we think we serve?  I imagine the Lord saying to Himself… “you know, I’m not gonna give my daughter the job so easily.  I’m going to actually deny her the job- THEN bring it back when she least expects it, I love doing that- surprising my children.  AND then, I’m going to give her the job that she (and many others) thinks she is unqualified for.  AND then I’m going to allow her to have the job AND take the classes she wants to take.”  Once again, God is in the miracle working business. 

I BELIEVE we can miss out on God's blessings if we are not patient with Him and truly trust His timing.  Even with this miracle under my belt, I still struggle with trusting God's timing.  I know I need to fight my doubts with the word and in constant communion with God.  Expecting Him to fulfill His promises is the other part of the battle- not just barely hoping.  I know this is off topic to this thread but I feel we cannot truly be in the word and looking to grow from the word and learn from the word if we do not trust the word.


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## nychaelasymone (Mar 20, 2008)

AMEN!!!!!!!!!



MissNatural said:


> Hallelujah!!!!! In the name of Jesus, speak the truth!!!! A non answer is not a denial! Amen Jesus! Oh Lord, I'm about to start praising His name up in here!!!
> 
> I am not going to lie, I am one of those people who would rather decide to stay single instead of "waiting" for God to fulfill my desire to be married and RISK the chance that His answer will be no. I am a control freak! Letting God take control is painful for me to do!
> 
> ...


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## klb120475 (Mar 20, 2008)

Hey Kally! I can definitely relate to the scripture. Lemme read the whole thread so I won't be repeating a post.



RelaxerRehab said:


> I don't have much to add because I'm am SO DONE debating and *defending my desire for marriage and family in relation to the balance of my loyalty to the Lord Jesus Christ*. I also know of a number of stories of women in my church whom the doctors said no re. children, but these women have 1, 2, 3 babies jumping off the ceiling, Glory to God!


 
Uh...RR...why are you having to defend yourself on this???

I wish somebody would debate me bout marrying Boo.


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## nychaelasymone (Mar 20, 2008)

klb120475 said:


> Hey Kally! I can definitely relate to the scripture. Lemme read the whole thread so I won't be repeating a post.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Hmmm, the pre-marital class at my church is a 6 week course in sheer spiritual biblical war.  You leave that class like this  but the goal is to make sure you're sure that you're marrying the person God has ordanied for your life. You want to debate, I'll PM you the syllabus.  

I've said too much already today and will go sit down somewhere and shut up.


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## kally (Mar 21, 2008)

nychaelasymone said:


> Please forgive me if I offend you in any way.  That is truly not my hearts desire but you are thinking for yourself.  God's plan for you life may be different than what you plan for your life.  We must always remind ourselves that God is perfect and his timing is perfect.  If you have the desire than its there for a reason.  Let go and let God, at the end of the day we are responsible for applying the word to our lives.  If I have it my way, I'm with you, I don't want to be 50 raising my children but I haven't given up on God. We place these limitations on our lives that God didn't intend for us.  Honstely, what's wrong w/ being 50 with 20 year old children, do you think your life is going to be less than because of your age?  One day at a time sista, one day at a time.  You may be surprised at the power of God once you release yourself and honeslty apply God.  Again, please don't take my statement harshly.  I just remember a time in my life when I thought I was trusting God, but I wasn't.  I was trusting God until my limitations were met and then I gave up.  God is good and he hasn't forgotten you.  His mercies are new everyday.



Hey Lady. No I am not offended in the least bit nor do I take it harshly. I value every post I get. You do raise good points.


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## kally (Mar 21, 2008)

nychaelasymone said:


> A non-answer is not a denial!!!!!!!!! What signals say no? Just because He didn't answer in the time you felt He should? Worrying is not of God!!!!!!! You forget that He loves you and He knows your desires. It may not be you but God may be working something out on the other end. Would you rather receive what you want when you wanted it with God knowing it wasn't your time and at a point and stage when your husband wasn't ready and able to provide for a family or be the proper covering for you. Would you rather be in a position where you might suffer because God decided to just give you what you wanted when you wanted it. It's like baking a cake, would you eat a half baked cake or would you want one that fully baked, frosted, and oh-so delicious in your favorite flavor? I take the fully baked-favorite flavor please for $1,000 Alex. It is hard, exhausting at times, discouraging, especially when you see God moving in other people lives, but guess what. Marriage is to glorify Him!!!! Give it to Him and you stop worrying yourself over something that's already done for you. Keep loving God, keep putting Him first, keep doing what is right and before you know it, your blessing is going to pour down on you like nothing you've ever felt before. Smile, its already done.




I guess I read so much into things until I confuse myself. Everything you have said has really made me think. I guess I am just fed up with it all and when I don't get things when I want it, then I try to justify things


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## kally (Mar 21, 2008)

MissNatural said:


> Hallelujah!!!!!  In the name of Jesus, speak the truth!!!!  A non answer is not a denial!  Amen Jesus!  Oh Lord, I'm about to start praising His name up in here!!!
> 
> I am not going to lie, I am one of those people who would rather decide to stay single instead of "waiting" for God to fulfill my desire to be married and RISK the chance that His answer will be no.  I am a control freak!  Letting God take control is painful for me to do!
> 
> ...



Wow that is a very inspiring blessing!!!.

 I think you are right about the control issues. I have never thought of it that way, because come to think of it. I do have problem with things when I feel I am not in control. Its like I will find ways around the problem.

this  whole week I have learned so much about myself everywhere around me. At home, work, here on this forum, and through others. I mean I thought I had it all figured out, but events have happened to me this week that really makes my see things differently. I know its God talking to me.


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## kally (Mar 21, 2008)

nychaelasymone said:


> Hmmm, the pre-marital class at my church is a 6 week course in sheer spiritual biblical war.  You leave that class like this  but the goal is to make sure you're sure that you're marrying the person God has ordanied for your life. You want to debate, I'll PM you the syllabus.
> 
> I've said too much already today and will go sit down somewhere and shut up.




This class sounds interesting. What types of things did they say would make an ideal mate for one? I know I  have wanted to marry a man who lives a life that honors God, then even thing else will fall in  place.


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## nychaelasymone (Mar 21, 2008)

kally said:


> This class sounds interesting. What types of things did they say would make an ideal mate for one? I know I have wanted to marry a man who lives a life that honors God, then even thing else will fall in place.


 
This class really broke down how to hear from God and know you're hearing from God and the things that keep us from hearing God.  It helped you determine if you are called to marry and called to marry the person you are taking the class with.  It also included group and individual assignments that detailed things you need to address prior to marriage.  for example:

*1.* *How long have you know your partner?*
*2.  How did the two of you meet?*
*3.  What is your best memory together?*
*4.  What is your worse memory together?*
*5.  What common interest do you share?*
*6.  What level of physical activity and interaction should two people experience if are seriously considering marriage?  What standards should be in place?*
*7.  Do both of you agree on this standard?  Is there any guilt associated with past physical interaction or involvement?*
*8.  What place should the Lord play in your couple relationship and personal relationship?  How do you keep the Lord first?*
*9.  Does your couple relationship honestly reflect a closer walk with Jesus?  Have you helped each other or hindered each other in maturing your relationship with Christ?*
*10. Do you have your parent’s approval?*

Marriage expectations


*In your own words define the word marriage?*
*What are the Biblical reasons for marriage?*
*Why do you want to get married?*
*List three future goals that you want to achieve might you get married?*
*What expectations might you have of this person if you decide to marry?*
*What are your general marriage expectations?*
*What expectations has your partner requested of you in marriage?  Can you meet these expectations? *
 

*Couple Assesment*


*What one word best describes your relationship?*
Wh*at one word would your partner use?*
*What are the strengths of your relationship?*
*What are the weaknesses of our relationship?*
*What have you done to strengthen the weak areas of your relationship?*
*What factors of you consider “key” to making a successful marriage?*
*What do you bring that will help make the marriage a success?*
*What does your partner bring that will help make the marriage a success?*
*What can a couple do to successfully prepare for a Christian marriage? (Be Specific)*


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## kally (Mar 21, 2008)

nychaelasymone said:


> This class really broke down how to hear from God and know you're hearing from God and the things that keep us from hearing God.  It helped you determine if you are called to marry and called to marry the person you are taking the class with.  It also included group and individual assignments that detailed things you need to address prior to marriage.  for example:
> 
> *1.* *How long have you know your partner?*
> *2.  How did the two of you meet?*
> ...



man thats sounds nice. right now I don't belong to a church when and if I do find a church for me. I will def see what kind of  positive programs they have for singles.


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## Bunny77 (Mar 21, 2008)

Kally and others, read this... I just found it this morning! God definitely had this message for me!

http://www.boundlessline.org/2008/03/when-you-stop-w.html


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## nychaelasymone (Mar 21, 2008)

kally said:


> man thats sounds nice. right now I don't belong to a church when and if I do find a church for me. I will def see what kind of positive programs they have for singles.


 
It was a great experience for me and my potential mate.  It was a positive envoirnment filled with God fearing loving people who only wanted us to sincerely be led by God to make the right decision regarding our relationship.  At this present time, he feels he hans't heard from God yet regarding the status of our relationship but as a Godly woman, I respect that and will continue to live my life, be happy with myself, and pray.


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## nychaelasymone (Mar 21, 2008)

Bunny77 said:


> Kally and others, read this... I just found it this morning! God definitely had this message for me!
> 
> http://www.boundlessline.org/2008/03/when-you-stop-w.html


 

Thank you for posting this


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## Christa438 (Mar 21, 2008)

Bunny77 said:


> Kally and others, read this... I just found it this morning! God definitely had this message for me!
> 
> http://www.boundlessline.org/2008/03/when-you-stop-w.html


 

Lovely Post. I liked this message: Be Encouraged. Sometimes all we have to do is think back to what Jesus said to find comfort and solutions.


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## MindTwister (Mar 22, 2008)

Talking about singleness, does anyone know what happened to the thread entitled something like "He who findeth a wife..."?

I also have another question: do ya'll think it's possible to find the mate God has for u at a time in your life when you don't have a strong relationship with God or even don't have one at all?


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## Bunny77 (Mar 22, 2008)

MindTwister said:


> Talking about singleness, does anyone know what happened to the thread entitled something like "He who findeth a wife..."?
> 
> I also have another question: do ya'll think it's possible to find the mate God has for at a time in your life when you don't have a strong relationship with God or even don't have one at all?



I think that thread is still around... it was bumped the other day. I'll try to bump it again.

As for your second question, I'll give the example of my best male friend. He was struggling with depression, alcoholism and was considering suicide back in 2003 when he got a random call from a woman he'd dated five years ago.

It gave him hope.

Fast forward and they're getting married in April. He said that her call was the turnaround for him. She's a good woman and I'm really happy for my friend.

I always think of that story when I hear people implying that you have to be in this perfect spiritual place before you're "ready" for God to send you a mate. I mean, not that I recommend being depressed and suicidal obviously, but my friend's story shows me that God can work in many different ways, shapes and forms... He desires to bless us beyond belief and while we should always be working to get closer to Him and live better lives, I don't believe that He will "punish" us by leaving us single just because we're struggling in other ways.


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## MindTwister (Mar 22, 2008)

Bunny77 said:


> I think that thread is still around... it was bumped the other day. I'll try to bump it again.
> 
> As for your second question, I'll give the example of my best male friend. He was struggling with depression, alcoholism and was considering suicide back in 2003 when he got a random call from a woman he'd dated five years ago.
> 
> ...


Thanks for bumping that thread Bunny I did a search for it and couldn't find it...

As for your reply to my second question, your friend's story is a great testimony Does he have a relationship with God now?

One of the reasons why I asked this question is because I have believed/believe that unless I'm at the place in my life where I put God first and seek Him in faith for all things I would not be able to fully discern/hear from God if someone I meet is the right person. 
I don't believe what I'm talking about falls under "spiritual perfection"; I think see it more as: how am I going to avoid wasting my time with someone if I'm not a point where I'm secure enough in my faith and believe that I can hear from God regarding any topic...


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## SEMO (Mar 22, 2008)

Bunny77 said:


> Kally and others, read this... I just found it this morning! God definitely had this message for me!
> 
> http://www.boundlessline.org/2008/03/when-you-stop-w.html



Very nice article.  I need to hold on to those scriptures mentioned like the promises from God they are.


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## star (Mar 22, 2008)

If you desire to get married God will honor your request. The key is allowing God to give you the mate so both of you will LOVE the Lord. My understanding of this that single women will have more time to spend with God then married women. Married women must spread their time and her husband is the KING of the house. Relationships are very demanding and most men want and need their needs to be met which cause a women not to be able to spend as much time with God then when children come is may be less. She can however, incorportate her spriitual walk with her family but that will be as a group as oppose to one-on-one intimate but God understands because her plate is full. But to help this marrying someone who loves the LORD is key because they understand the imporance of praying together as a family and alone. Marrying women cannot spend alot of time with outisde ministries her home becomes her ministry. I think God wants both from us the best of us as singles that means devoting our time for Him and when we get married transfer some but not all of that to your family. I know some married women with spouse and children never have time even for themselves.


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## Bunny77 (Mar 22, 2008)

^^^While I definitely believe that we should use our single season to continue to build our relationship with the Lord, I still wonder about this interpretation.

I mean, yes, I know that the Biblical era was completely different, but most women in the Bible were married, and there didn't seem to be much concern about the fact that their personal one-on-one relationship with God would suffer. Really, I've never heard this point of view until recently, as a response to the growing number of single women who've been desiring marriage, but haven't had it happen. 

I see marriage as a ministry. Raising children is a ministry. Creating a Godly family and more Godly members to do Kingdom work is a pretty awesome testament to one's relationship with the Lord.

I'm not saying that what married women can contribute is better than what single women can contribute or vice versa. We are all valued in the eyes of God. But I've never really gotten the idea that if a woman marries, she won't have as much time for the Lord. 

I think the method in which she performs her Godly work will simply differ. And I know of many married women who say that their relationship with God became deeper when they married because they turned to Him so much in prayer for their husbands and children... when they were single, they were a lot more idle.

That's my alternate interpretation!


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## Farida (Mar 23, 2008)

nychaelasymone said:


> DISCLAIMER:This is my interpretation and my opinion only-
> Somehwere it states, its better to marry than to burn with passion.  If you feel you are called to be married, than there's nothing wrong with that. Some of us can quiet our sexual urges and desire for companionship and be fine with a life of singledom.  Others do not have that desire.  I think Paul was communicating that if you are single, its a good thing, you  can commit yourself fully to the business of the Lord.  If you marry, yes, your focus is on your husband and family and you can't devote the amount of time to the Lord as you did single, but that's not wrong either.  Adam and Eve are our first examples of a marriage. God created marriage to glorify him. When married, you are to submit to a covering, your husband and provide for your household.  I think its in Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a godly wife and her responsiblities.  Also in Titus 2:5 it talks about more wifely characteristics.  There's nothing to be discouraged about, everything God ordaines brings Him glory.



ITA with this. Not to start another thread but this is why Catholic priests do not marry. The truth is, when you marry your priority is your family, not that you love them more than you do God, but you have to devote a lot of time to them. A married woman can't get up and go evangelize the corners of the world if her husband can't come. A mother cannot let her breastfeeding stop to go talk to troubled women. I don't think the verse says it is a bad thing to marry, or you love your husband more than the lord.


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## kally (Mar 24, 2008)

Bunny77 said:


> Kally and others, read this... I just found it this morning! God definitely had this message for me!
> 
> http://www.boundlessline.org/2008/03/when-you-stop-w.html



Wow that was powerful. I think this happens because you stop putting it before God.


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## kally (Mar 24, 2008)

Bunny77 said:


> I think that thread is still around... it was bumped the other day. I'll try to bump it again.
> 
> As for your second question, I'll give the example of my best male friend. He was struggling with depression, alcoholism and was considering suicide back in 2003 when he got a random call from a woman he'd dated five years ago.
> 
> ...



Very very inspiring


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