# School Policy Forbids Kids From Saying 'no' When Asked To Dance



## Leeda.the.Paladin (Feb 29, 2020)

*School policy forbids kids from saying 'no' when asked to dance*
One mom is fighting back on behalf of her 11-year-old daughter.



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Feb. 27, 2020, 2:04 PM EST
By Rachel Paula Abrahamson


Alicia Hobson’s 11-year-old daughter, Azlyn, was counting down the days until the Valentine’s Day dance at her Utah middle school.

“She was so excited she could barely sleep,” Hobson told TODAY Parents, noting that the sixth grader picked out her outfit a week ahead of time.

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"It was supposed to be the best day ever," Hobson, 37, saiThat afternoon, when Azlyn got home, she had an "emotional explosion" in the kitchen, while recounting how a boy who makes her uncomfortable had asked her to dance.

“She politely said, ‘No thank you,’” Hobson revealed. The problem? At Rich Middle School in Laketown, Utah, it's against the rules to say "no," and principal Kip Motta allegedly intervened when he heard Azlyn decline the invitation at the dance.

“He said something like, ‘No, no. You kids go out and dance,’” Hobson revealed. “He basically shooed Azlyn and the boy off onto the dance floor.”


Azlyn told her mother she “hated every minute” and was “so relieved” when the song finally ended.

Motta and Rich School District Superintendent Dale Lamborn did not immediately respond to emails seeking comment. But Motta stood by the school’s policy in a letter to Hobson.

“We do ask all students to dance. It is the nice thing to do and this will continue to be our policy,” Motta wrote on Feb. 15. “There have been similar situations in the past where some students have felt uncomfortable with others, and, as stated prior, the issues were discreetly handled. This allowed all students to feel welcome, comfortable, safe, and included.”

Motta added that Hobson always has the option to check Azlyn out of school during dances, which are held in the daytime.

Hobson isn't satisfied with Motta's response — she wants the policy revised and will go to the Utah Board of Education if it isn't.

“Girls HAVE to learn that they have the right to say no and that those around them have to respect that,” Hobson wrote on Facebook. “I’m not going to quietly stand by while my daughter and all of her classmates are being wrapped up in rape culture. No way.”

Dr. Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, a New York City-based clinical psychologist, agrees with Hobson and believes the rule is "dangerous."

"Policies like this one not only overlook, but completely fly in the face of, what we need to be teaching young children — of all gender identities — about the importance of consent," Schrag Hershberg told TODAY Parents. "Essentially, it is saying that a child needs to say 'yes' no matter how they feel, as a blanket rule. I don't think it's a stretch to say that such a message is very much in alignment with rape culture and, therefore, very dangerous if perpetuated."

Kanesville Elementary School in West Haven, Utah, changed its policy saying kids must accept dance requests after a parent complained in 2018.

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## chocolat79 (Feb 29, 2020)

Throw the whole principal away.

Also,  as a Mom,  I'd just do as the principal suggests and sign my daughter out. As a matter fact,  I'd take it a step further and rally up the girl Moms and set up a girls' time/ day and try to make sure NO girls show up to the dance, then see how he likes them apples.

And I'm sure he didn't handle anything when it came to girls who didn't want to dance with inappropriate boys.


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## dancinstallion (Feb 29, 2020)

I support the mom fully. I am an adult that loves to dance and I cant stand dancing with most men. They get too close and most cant dance.


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## Reinventing21 (Mar 1, 2020)

Sounds like the principal may have been rejected as a boy...

Some girls can be very mean.

That said...Kids should be taught how to politely ask, how to politely decline and how to handle the word "No".

The rule sounds illegal. I pray the mom wins. I can't believe there aren't more outraged parents.


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## nyeredzi (Mar 1, 2020)

Way to make some people learn entitlement to others, and some learn that they can't say no. Disgusting.


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## discodumpling (Mar 1, 2020)

This is another dumb rule made by a man. It is important to teach girls especially to say no. You dont have to dance A. When you dont feel like it and B. with some boy you dont wanna dance with 
Do men just sit around and come up with random rules to make them selves feel powerful??


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## Everything Zen (Mar 1, 2020)

Is this the same story being recycled or is Utah just a stupid state?

https://longhaircareforum.com/threa...t-to-say-no-if-boys-ask-them-to-dance.831393/

Nope - different school. Looks like Utah is the birthplace of entitled men.


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## Leeda.the.Paladin (Mar 1, 2020)

Everything Zen said:


> Is this the same story being recycled or is Utah just a stupid state?
> 
> https://longhaircareforum.com/threa...t-to-say-no-if-boys-ask-them-to-dance.831393/


Looks like Utah is stupid because this is a different school.


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## Kanky (Mar 1, 2020)

This is just crazy. I wouldn’t keep my child at home either. I would send her, tell her to say no if she wants to and to call me if there is a problem because I am in the parking lot.


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## Brwnbeauti (Mar 1, 2020)

Everything Zen said:


> Is this the same story being recycled or is Utah just a stupid state?
> 
> https://longhaircareforum.com/threa...t-to-say-no-if-boys-ask-them-to-dance.831393/
> 
> Nope - different school. Looks like Utah is the birthplace of entitled men.


Polygamy state, isn’t it.


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## itsallaboutattitude (Mar 11, 2020)

Ok, can’t say no. 

Boy: Let’s dance.

Girl: Sure, right after you walk off a short plank over a deep ocean.


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## Ms. Tarabotti (Mar 12, 2020)

I appreciate the fact that the principal doesn't want a child's feelings to be hurt but that you know, that's life. You will get rejected at times and your feelings will be hurt. We should be teaching children how to deal with that instead of setting up unrealistic expectations. No, a girl or a boy does not have to dance with you, even if you ask politely.  A girl or a woman can say no to a man and a man needs to accept that. You are not entitled to ignore her feelings on the matter.


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## Dayjoy (Mar 12, 2020)

This has to be the craziest thing I’ve read today.  HOW do you teach impressionable young girls that they are not allowed to say no to a male.  This sounds like a setup and boomerang reaction the the entire MeToo movement.


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## MizAvalon (Mar 18, 2020)

This is some BULL. I can’t believe the parents of the girls at the school are ok with this.

A group of fathers needs to go to his office and fix him up proper.


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