# What do you consider modest in attire?



## moonglowdiva (Mar 24, 2009)

*Modesty came into my mind and I began to think. How would a modest, single christian woman carry herself? I do not want to entice men with how I'm dressed. People judge you based on your outer appearance. I want to carry myself so that when people see me that know that I am a child of God and not some harlot. I know that 2 Timothy 2:9 states "I want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes. But, to the other side you have to Proverbs 31 woman. It state in Proverb 31: ... she is clothed in fine linen and purple. What constitutes modesty in 2009? I need some dialogue on this ladies. Help me in this modesty area!!!*


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## msa (Mar 24, 2009)

I hope Ramya comes in here. I always love her views on this subject (and her style too).


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## Ramya (Mar 24, 2009)

msa said:


> I hope Ramya comes in here. I always love her views on this subject (and her style too).



awww ! 

Really I'd just say let the Holy Spirit lead you. There are things that I used to think were modest that I've been convicted on. I try not to wear things that expose my body in an overly sexual manner. I am a lady and I dress like one. From my understanding of the Word, I shouldn't wear things with the intention of alluring my brother. God looks at the heart. What are your intentions of wearing that outfit?

Sometimes I have to check myself when I look in the mirror. Ask yourself if the message you are sending out matches what God wants you to send out. Immodesty leads to lust and sinful behavior. Sin starts with the eyes or ears. Don't cause your brother to sin.


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## sunnysmyler (Mar 24, 2009)

^^^^^^....Well stated Ramya. ITA!!!!


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## GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I (Mar 25, 2009)

I know that in some communities, modest dress means sleeves covering just pas the elbows, skirts covering the knees, no naked legs, collar bone covered, no sheer shirts exposing bras or even bare arms, no bra straps showing, shirts covering stomach and for those who allow pants, nothing tight.  I didn't say I totally agree with this, but this is often a model of modesty.


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## LadyPaniolo (Mar 25, 2009)

What do I consider modest attire?

Long skirts or dresses, long sleeves, and necklines that don't expose anything  I wouldn't want exposed. 

One thing that more modest-dressing ladies need to consider is how an outfit will look when you are bending down or leaning over. Sometimes an outfit looks modest when you are standing up, but when you help your child tie her shoes your dress hugs your body and becomes too tight.


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## moonglowdiva (Mar 26, 2009)

*This above dress is what I call immodest, notice the twins. Those girls are just hanging out for the whole world to see. This type of dress is one of those that has lots of allure. I'm use this image as a visual so other can see what I call immodest. I wouldn't wear this because I am not seeking attention from somebody's husband.*


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## discobiscuits (Mar 26, 2009)

Modest to me = no boobage or butt cleavage, skirts/dresses that don't show cookie crumbs when you sit, clothing where the label of your undies (if any) can't be read. Body flattering but not revealing or something that would cause someone to fall or fail or to lust (which is really relative b/c lust cause is different for each person).

Modest to me: #1 my fave!


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## Ramya (Mar 26, 2009)

^^^see the only thing I could wear up there are 2 of the tops excluding the sheer top. There would be nothing modest about me in those pants or skirts.  Know your body ladies lol


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## Bunny77 (Mar 26, 2009)

Ramya said:


> ^^^see the only thing I could wear up there are 2 of the tops excluding the sheer top. There would be nothing modest about me in those pants or skirts.  Know your body ladies lol



Good point about body type!

I could wear that dress in Moonglow's post and it would look a lot different on me than on that model. (Probably because my twins are um, kinda non-existent sometimes!)

I like the outfits in 1star's post because they are trendy (Christians can still be fashionable)... I know there might be some debate about the sheer top though... (it's fine for me, but others might not agree!)


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## aribell (Mar 26, 2009)

I love that white dress!  And, um..yeah, cleavage isn't a problem for everyone.


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## Ms.Honey (Mar 26, 2009)

I would say we have a level of modesty that we must always keep and then there are levels of modesty pertaining to certain activities and situations. 

For instance, no cleavage showing, plunging necklines or plunging backlines, mid thigh skirts etc in regular dress but at home they are fine and playing tennis a mid thigh skirt is fine and at the beach a bikini is fine. Thongs under your clothes are fine but a thong at the beach.......... 4-5 inch pumps are fine but 4-5 inch pumps made out of acrylic with 2 inches of platform in front........not fine. 

It depends on the situation.


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## Ramya (Mar 26, 2009)

IDK some people say that a bikini is appropriate but I don't think it is. I try and be modest even when I'm at the beach. Any time I'm in public or mixed company I go the modest route. And that's a lot considering most folks that know me understand that I'd rather be naked


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## aribell (Mar 26, 2009)

There was a survey conducted of Christian men asking them what they think is modest or immodest (i.e., what causes them to stumble).  The survey covers _everything_ from dangly earrings to turtlenecks--including the most "modest" way to wear your purse!  Very interesting and well-organized, too:  http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse

....

I do think a lot of it is cultural though.  I've heard of some European men commenting that American men are _taught_ to lust after women's bodies, so that if they see skin and their thoughts go astray, it's the woman's fault for not covering up instead of their fault for having dirty minds.

I find it intersting that Jesus never said, "And if a woman tempts a man to lust..." but rather, "If a man looks upon a woman lustfully..."


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## Ramya (Mar 26, 2009)

Those men are tripping lol. What do they want women to wear? 

ETA: It is a man's responsibility to not look upon a woman lustfully but why make it HARD for a man?


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## msa (Mar 26, 2009)

Ramya said:


> ^^^see the only thing I could wear up there are 2 of the tops excluding the sheer top. There would be nothing modest about me in those pants or skirts.  Know your body ladies lol



And none of it would be modest for me lol. I like them and have lots of clothes like that, but I'm slowly weeding things out of my wardrobe.

I used to think, well as long as I have a dress on, then I'm being modest. Then I realized that every dress in my closet was form fitting (like the white dress 1star posted) and showed off every single curve I had. And these were dresses for church. I was purposely dressing so that other women would be envious of me ("girl, look at your shape you look good" or "I could never wear that dress" or "where'd you get that? I love it") and the men would notice my body. I had to admit to myself that I was dressing in order to get attention, even though none of my clothes were too short or too low cut or too tight. 

Now, I am quite aware of my body AND my thinking about how and why I present it the way that I do. Before I buy something at the mall, or leave the house, I ask myself "Am I wearing this because I want others to compliment ME, or am I wearing this because I want others to compliment my Father? Are people going to see ME first, or my Father's presence in me first?". The ultimate question for me is, "If I were out with the witnessing team right now, would this outfit be appropriate? would an unsaved person be turned away from my Father because of what I am wearing?". Asking myself those questions helps a lot, along with a mirror.


Anyway, I think we're all convicted in a different way about what's appropriate for us to wear as an individual. What may be ok for one, usually isn't for another. So far it's been difficult to buy new things that meet my new standards. I've been working on it though. And, I may just have to learn to sew in order to get exactly what I want.


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## Ramya (Mar 26, 2009)

msa said:


> And none of it would be modest for me lol. I like them and have lots of clothes like that, but I'm slowly weeding things out of my wardrobe.
> 
> I used to think, well as long as I have a dress on, then I'm being modest. Then I realized that every dress in my closet was form fitting (like the white dress 1star posted) and showed off every single curve I had. And these were dresses for church. I was purposely dressing so that other women would be envious of me ("girl, look at your shape you look good" or "I could never wear that dress" or "where'd you get that? I love it") and the men would notice my body. I had to admit to myself that I was dressing in order to get attention, even though none of my clothes were too short or too low cut or too tight.



I agree with this. I had to ask myself why I liked certain outfits. Don't get me wrong, I like to look good for 'me' but I'm not overly flashy or distracting either.  Very few of my dresses are actually form fitting. Thankfully loose fitting tops and dresses are in right now so I've been stocking up but those are sooo short that i have to wear leggings or tights with them 





> Now, I am quite aware of my body AND my thinking about how and why I present it the way that I do. Before I buy something at the mall, or leave the house, I ask myself "Am I wearing this because I want others to compliment ME, or am I wearing this because I want others to compliment my Father? Are people going to see ME first, or my Father's presence in me first?". The ultimate question for me is, "If I were out with the witnessing team right now, would this outfit be appropriate? would an unsaved person be turned away from my Father because of what I am wearing?". Asking myself those questions helps a lot, along with a mirror.



This is a good point. Many people can magically be modest come Sunday morning but Friday night... well . I believe in being modest ALL the time not just in your place of worship. 



> *Anyway, I think we're all convicted in a different way about what's appropriate for us to wear as an individual. What may be ok for one, usually isn't for another. So far it's been difficult to buy new things that meet my new standards. I've been working on it though. And, I may just have to learn to sew in order to get exactly what I want.*



It's very difficult to find appropriate clothing. Especially since I wear dresses and skirts all the time. Some of my clothing is questionable but it costs so much to purchase things that are not clingy, low cut or short. I've been learning to knit and sew so by 2010 I'll be making my own wardrobe. I also wear a lot of cover-ups like half shirts and shawls over my tops. But I definitely understand where you are coming from.


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## dicapr (Mar 26, 2009)

nicola.kirwan said:


> There was a survey conducted of Christian men asking them what they think is modest or immodest (i.e., what causes them to stumble). The survey covers _everything_ from dangly earrings to turtlenecks--including the most "modest" way to wear your purse! Very interesting and well-organized, too: http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse
> 
> ....
> 
> ...


 
I think the quote about a man looking upon a woman lustfully is taken out of context the majority of the time.  To me, it is talking about situations such as strip clubs, playboy, ect.  The sole intent of that type of viewing is to be stimulated and lust after a womans body. I believe in being modest, but I think this scripture used to support modesty is taken out of context and used by men to place the burden of guarding their thoughts on women rather than examining the lust coming from them.


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## Ramya (Mar 26, 2009)

Quotes from the survey:

About a bikini



> When you're basically wearing underwear (or less than that) all you do is show off your body. 99 percent of guys see all of you, regardless of what body parts you think you're covering, when you wear that kind of swimsuit.





> It's like walking around in underwear. It takes my eyes automatically to the wrong places. It is a major stumbling block. Plus, it takes joy out of swimming, because I am worried about guarding my eyes.





> From a guy's standpoint there is no difference between walking around in a bikini and walking around in your underwear. There might be a difference, but to a guy, there is not. That is how revealing it is to a guy.



I never thought about it like this. A bikini generally covers as little as your underwear would. What's the point?


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## discobiscuits (Mar 26, 2009)

I don't think the white dress (above) is really that bad.  It is form fitting but not in an immodest (for the US/Westerners) way.  I'd wear that to church or work but then too, I'm the same size as that model so I would look less "tempting" in that than say a Bey or a Lisa Raye - basically a woman with cuuuuurves and rear.  The sheer top I'd wear to church also like the left side picture (never w/ nothing or just a bra like on the right) but not w/ tight jeans, but maybe wide leg pants or something.  That 1st pic I think is so classic. 

Modesty is relative. In general, a man lusting after a woman can be done regardless. You could wear a potato sack and still have men wondering what was under that sack and how he could get it.

Maybe this is more modest for some?


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## msa (Mar 26, 2009)

Ramya said:


> I never thought about it like this. A bikini generally covers as little as your underwear would. What's the point?




That's exactly how I feel about it. I'm pretty sure I said as much in the bathing suit thread that was around a while ago. 

You can't wear panties and a bra for all the world to see and call that modest.


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## Ramya (Mar 26, 2009)

And another:



> Miniskirts and short dresses are always immodest. Wearing leggings under them does not neutralize the effect.



Well there goes my plan


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## msa (Mar 26, 2009)

1star said:


> Modesty is relative. In general, a man lusting after a woman can be done regardless. You could wear a potato sack and still have men wondering what was under that sack and how he could get it.




So true, it is relative. A potato sack, in this culture and where I live, would make me stand out more than a form fitting dress. And it's just ugly.


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## Ms.Honey (Mar 26, 2009)

Ramya said:


> IDK some people say that a bikini is appropriate but I don't think it is. I try and be modest even when I'm at the beach. Any time I'm in public or mixed company I go the modest route. And that's a lot considering most folks that know me understand that I'd rather be naked


 
True but modesty also changes and it's standards are set with the times and  hopefully for the saints by the church. 

In Victorian times beach attire for women consisted of a mohair dress, tights or bloomers covering everything but the head, arms and sometimes the feet 

Today we would cry foul if even a Christian sister would have to wear that


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## Ramya (Mar 26, 2009)

Ms.Honey said:


> True but modesty also changes and it's standards are set with the times and  hopefully for the saints by the church.
> 
> In Victorian times beach attire for women consisted of a mohair dress, tights or bloomers covering everything but the head, arms and sometimes the feet
> 
> Today we would cry foul if even a Christian sister would have to wear that



But there are other options besides walking outside in panties and a bra. My mind sees BODY when I see a woman in a bikini. If *my* mind goes there, I know a man's mind will. There are all kinds of suits and cover ups that can be a little more modest than a bikini. I don't walk outside in my underwear so I'm not going to go to a public facility in my underwear.


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## Ms.Honey (Mar 26, 2009)

Ramya said:


> But there are other options besides walking outside in panties and a bra. My mind sees BODY when I see a woman in a bikini. If *my* mind goes there, I know a man's mind will. There are all kinds of suits and cover ups that can be a little more modest than a bikini. I don't walk outside in my underwear so I'm not going to go to a public facility in my underwear.


 
Well, a one piece is just as revealing as a bikini even if it's not showing AS MUCH skin. It's fitting, figure hugging the bottom cuts were panties do, the top part shows cleavage etc. The one piece suit shows QUITE a bit of skin also. Whether it resembles a bra and panties or and adult onsie both expose and reveals a lot of the body.

There are different swimming attire these days. I've seen women wearing nylon bathing short sets which are loose fitting with the shorts coming down to or almost to the knees. I think most would consider those modest these days.


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## crlsweetie912 (Mar 26, 2009)

moonglowdiva said:


> *This above dress is what I call immodest, notice the twins. Those girls are just hanging out for the whole world to see. This type of dress is one of those that has lots of allure. I'm use this image as a visual so other can see what I call immodest. I wouldn't wear this because I am not seeking attention from somebody's husband.*


 See I would wear that dress with a sweater (buttoned up) over top of it.  Or with a tank or tee underneath...


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## discobiscuits (Mar 26, 2009)

crlsweetie912 said:


> See I would wear that dress with a sweater (buttoned up) over top of it.  Or with a tank or tee underneath...



wow. that's a lot of clothing. ^^^^  (nothing wrong w/ that though)
unless you mean like the way Oprah is wearing her maxi dress:





my girls aren't as big as the model's look (in the OP) so i'd wear the dress as is (like on the left). i think it's cute.


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## crlsweetie912 (Mar 26, 2009)

1star said:


> wow. that's a lot of clothing. ^^^^  (nothing wrong w/ that though)
> unless you mean like the way Oprah is wearing her maxi dress:
> 
> 
> ...


 Not really a lot, just a sweater on top.  Not both at the same time....
I love those long maxi dresses!


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## aribell (Mar 26, 2009)

1star said:


> Maybe this is more modest for some?


 
Slightly OT, but I can't wait to be an older church lady so I can bust out the church hats...it's gonna be great! 



crlsweetie912 said:


> See I would wear that dress with a sweater (buttoned up) over top of it. Or with a tank or tee underneath...


 
Layers always save the day. I love my stretchy tanks and light sweaters.


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## aribell (Mar 26, 2009)

Ramya said:


> But there are other options besides walking outside in panties and a bra. My mind sees BODY when I see a woman in a bikini. If *my* mind goes there, I know a man's mind will. There are all kinds of suits and cover ups that can be a little more modest than a bikini. I don't walk outside in my underwear so I'm not going to go to a public facility in my underwear.


 
I've always thought this too.  My unanswered question, though, is what's wrong with our bodies anyway?  We automatically equate body with sex=lust=sin, but does that have to be the case?  Is there really something inherently wrong with showing skin?  I mean, I look at God giving clothes in Genesis, and Adam and Eve "started it" themselves out of their own shame.  I think at the end of the day, I want someone to give me a biblical argument why, say, nudist colonies are immoral. (seriously )

And another question:  So, if I mow my lawn wearing short shorts and a spaghetti strap tank top and a man walks by and is "distracted," then I should have worn longer shorts and a t-shirt.  But if I get "distracted" by my cute neighbor mowing his lawn without a shirt on, well, I should just get over it because everyone knows it's okay for men to walk around without their shirts on.  Becuase women aren't tempted to lust after handsome men with few clothes on, right?  Only men do that...


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## crlsweetie912 (Mar 26, 2009)

nicola.kirwan said:


> Slightly OT, but I can't wait to be an older church lady so I can bust out the church hats...it's gonna be great!
> 
> 
> 
> Layers always save the day. I love my stretchy tanks and light sweaters.


 
Girl you don't have to be "old" to bust out the church hats...


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## msa (Mar 26, 2009)

crlsweetie912 said:


> Girl you don't have to be "old" to bust out the church hats...




you sure don't! I love young women who wear church hats. I'm looking to start a collection myself.


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## aribell (Mar 26, 2009)

crlsweetie912 said:


> Girl you don't have to be "old" to bust out the church hats...


 


msa said:


> you sure don't! I love young women who wear church hats. I'm looking to start a collection myself.


 
In the churches I was in where women actually wore such hats, for whatever reason, they were the territory of the church mothers, so to speak.  Gotta have something to look forward to!


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## moonglowdiva (Mar 26, 2009)

1star said:


> Modest to me = no boobage or butt cleavage, skirts/dresses that don't show cookie crumbs when you sit, clothing where the label of your undies (if any) can't be read. Body flattering but not revealing or something that would cause someone to fall or fail or to lust (which is really relative b/c lust cause is different for each person).
> 
> Modest to me: #1 my fave!


 
*That copper blouse and the twill skirt seem modest enough for the workplace. The skirt fall right below the knew but I guess a lady would have to know how to sit because if she doesn't then she could wind up show off all of the family jewels. *
*The sheer blousein pic 3 & 4. Wouldn't be modest in my opinion because it doesn't leave anything to the imagination. Its cute but it commands attention.*


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## moonglowdiva (Mar 26, 2009)

nicola.kirwan said:


> I love that white dress! And, um..yeah, cleavage isn't a problem for everyone.


*I can't do cleavage. My secret would be out.*


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## Shimmie (Mar 26, 2009)

How about this?











Sorry, I couldn't resist...  

ETA:  I attached the photo just in case the link doesn't open.


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## aribell (Mar 27, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> How about this?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Oh my! Well, glad she's happy.


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## joytimes10 (Mar 31, 2009)

Shimmie said:


> How about this?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Oh NO!!!


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## Mrs.TheBronx (Mar 31, 2009)

That is wayyy to happy for me!!


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## MA2010 (Mar 31, 2009)

Ramya said:


> Well there goes my plan


 
 I'm done!!!!



Another great thread ladies. Here are pics of me .

I now understand my body type (small chest/ big behind) and what looks modest, or not, on me. It's a daily task to assure I'm on the right track when it deals with my clothes. 

For example: *(please don't quote the pics)*





This was about 2 years ago. I was on my way to church. I liked the outfit. I think this is modest IMO. 





This was a summer wedding last year. I liked the dress but knowing what I know now in Chirst, would I wear it again? NO! Not modest IMO. It's an above the knee dress with low cleavage. 

If I wore that dress today I would feel extremely uncomfortable. 

Yes ladies, half of my closet has to go!!! I shop for more modest attire now. 

The Holy Spirit helps me discern all of it. I thank God for that!


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## Ramya (Mar 31, 2009)

nicola.kirwan said:


> I've always thought this too.  My unanswered question, though, is what's wrong with our bodies anyway?  We automatically equate body with sex=lust=sin, but does that have to be the case?  Is there really something inherently wrong with showing skin?  I mean, I look at God giving clothes in Genesis, and Adam and Eve "started it" themselves out of their own shame.  I think at the end of the day, I want someone to give me a biblical argument why, say, nudist colonies are immoral. (seriously )
> 
> And another question:  So, if I mow my lawn wearing short shorts and a spaghetti strap tank top and a man walks by and is "distracted," then I should have worn longer shorts and a t-shirt.  But if I get "distracted" by my cute neighbor mowing his lawn without a shirt on, well, I should just get over it because everyone knows it's okay for men to walk around without their shirts on.  Becuase women aren't tempted to lust after handsome men with few clothes on, right?  Only men do that...



I'm going to have to do research to study the first part. I'd actually love to be naked all the time personally. I believe men should be modest as well. Men should wear appropriate clothing and no they are not excused in my book.


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## trenise (Mar 31, 2009)

Oh Shimmie. She's wearing the right color for that happy face. hhhahaaha!


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## Choclatcotton (Mar 31, 2009)

A great thread


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## BrooklynSouth (Mar 31, 2009)

*Modest attire for me is minimal skin showing, although arms showing are nice. A woman can still be attractive and sensual without  having her breasts or skirt above her very lower thighs. I will show curves but not too clingy. I saw a young woman this morning wearing very tight jeans and a short jacket; the jeans showed every curve and the split of her vj..not modest. Mystery is enticing.*


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## BrooklynSouth (Mar 31, 2009)

Manushka said:


> I'm done!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
*Yes, Manushka, very womanly and covered. I like the outfit for church very much.*


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## Shimmie (Mar 31, 2009)

Manushka said:


> I'm done!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Wear them for your husband.  

Also, I have a closet full of Blazers, Demi Jackets, Crop Sweaters to wear over dresses like your pretty white one (which is a gorgeous dress, btw). No one knows what's underneath but me and Jesus.


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## discobiscuits (Apr 1, 2009)

*******





> *(please don't quote the pics)*


*****


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## justsimply (Apr 1, 2009)

My take on modesty is this... it's different for each body type and person.  If you step out the house and Jesus was going to show up at the same event would you feel uncovered. For example if you were going to a pool party and Jesus was going to show up would you swim apparel suddenly become too revealing?  If so, it's too revealing.  

Also, I think the reason you were an outfit is an indicator on the modest radar.  If you wear an outfit because it brings attention to a certain area of your body, I think it will do just that...get attention.  I no longer wear things SIMPLY because it makes my waist look really small or because it shows just enough cleavage to get attention.  

Lastly, like to think of my Christian brothers...I don't want to be a stumbling block for them in church.  I'm not going to wear my clothes big as moo-moos (lol), but I do consider what is showing and if I can comfortable lift my hands in prayer without my belly showing, etc.  I expect the same courtesy from them.


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## Mrs.TheBronx (Apr 1, 2009)

justsimply said:


> My take on modesty is this... it's different for each body type and person. If you step out the house and Jesus was going to show up at the same event would you feel uncovered. For example if you were going to a pool party and Jesus was going to show up would you swim apparel suddenly become too revealing? If so, it's too revealing.
> 
> Also, I think the reason you were an outfit is an indicator on the modest radar. If you wear an outfit because it brings attention to a certain area of your body, I think it will do just that...get attention. I no longer wear things SIMPLY because it makes my waist look really small or because it shows just enough cleavage to get attention.
> 
> Lastly, like to think of my Christian brothers...I don't want to be a stumbling block for them in church. I'm not going to wear my clothes big as moo-moos (lol), but I do consider what is showing and if I can comfortable lift my hands in prayer without my belly showing, etc. I expect the same courtesy from them.


 

I agree!! I really appreciate this thread! i never thought about my attire as much as i do now! Thanks!!!


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## moonglowdiva (Apr 1, 2009)

justsimply said:


> My take on modesty is this... it's different for each body type and person. If you step out the house and Jesus was going to show up at the same event would you feel uncovered. For example if you were going to a pool party and Jesus was going to show up would you swim apparel suddenly become too revealing? If so, it's too revealing.
> 
> Also, I think the reason you were an outfit is an indicator on the modest radar. If you wear an outfit because it brings attention to a certain area of your body, I think it will do just that...get attention. I no longer wear things SIMPLY because it makes my waist look really small or because it shows just enough cleavage to get attention.
> 
> Lastly, like to think of my Christian brothers...I don't want to be a stumbling block for them in church. I'm not going to wear my clothes big as moo-moos (lol), but I do consider what is showing and if I can comfortable lift my hands in prayer without my belly showing, etc. I expect the same courtesy from them.


 
*Well said.*


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