# Being Mary Jane



## sugarbaybie (Jan 22, 2014)

Do any of you feel it is wrong to partake in the viewing of this show?


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## Shimmie (Jan 22, 2014)

sugarbaybie said:


> Do any of you feel it is wrong to partake in the viewing of this show?


 
The question is: "Do you agree with the lifestyle that Mary Jane promotes?"

The show is definitely validating adultery and without remorse.   I've seen the previews and I've viewed the thread in the ET forum.  

It's not a good example for Black Women.    It just furthers the 'myth' that Black Women can't do any better than to cheat and to be cheated upon by/with Black Men.  Young Black Girls are viewing this and are being 'seduced' into a sin that's glamourized by Gabrielle Union who is being heralded for her portrayal in this show.

Who wants that 'seed' being nurtured in their spirit?  What fruit will grow? 

We're much better than that and Gabbie should know better and consider the negative influence that it has on how Black Women are viewed.  

TV for Blacks and Christians just gets worse by the minute...  

We're being misrepresented...terribly.


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## LovelyRo (Jan 22, 2014)

I watch the show and discuss it with my girlfriends afterwards. We all feel as though she is  very wrong, weak and naive when it comes to this affair... Regardless of whether or not he is serious about leaving his wife. I don't view it as glorifying adultery... Because I don't look at her situation and wish it was me... It kinda reinforces my values. I sympathize with his wife. She's not the villain to me and I think that shows like Scandal (love the show, not Olitz) vilify the wife and that glorifies the affair... I don't get that from being Mary Jane.


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## momi (Jan 22, 2014)

Yes I think so - It's garbage.  

I'll add more later.


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## momi (Jan 22, 2014)

Shimmie said:


> The question is: "Do you agree with the lifestyle that Mary Jane promotes?"
> 
> The show is definitely validating adultery and without remorse.   I've seen the previews and I've viewed the thread in the ET forum.
> 
> ...




I couldn't agree more Sis. Shimmie.  It's garbage and it's causing us to become more and more desensitized...  Even in the Best Man movie I noticed this.  Anal sex, alleyness, fighting, cursing, blasphemy... 

Not to derail - but this is from the Best Man movie:

_
About 15 f-words (five of them paired with "mother) and nearly 20 s-words. God's name is misused 10 or more times (three times fused to "d‑‑n"), while Christ's name is taken in vain three or four times. "A‑‑," "b‑‑ch" and "h‑‑‑" are used 10 or 12 times each. Sexual slang includes "d‑‑k," "balls," "t-tties" and "p‑‑‑y." Even more pathetic was the scene with the fighting and cursing in front of the children._


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## Shimmie (Jan 22, 2014)

All4Tris said:


> I watch the show and discuss it with my girlfriends afterwards. We all feel as though she is very wrong, weak and naive when it comes to this affair... Regardless of whether or not he is serious about leaving his wife. I don't view it as glorifying adultery... Because I don't look at her situation and wish it was me... It kinda reinforces my values. I sympathize with his wife. She's not the villain to me and I think that shows like Scandal (love the show, not Olitz) vilify the wife and that glorifies the affair... I don't get that from being Mary Jane.


 
It's definitely glorifying adultery... look at the 'lure' it has for folks to keep 'watching'... 

Let's be real. Sin, whether we agree to it or not, has it's lure. The mind is bored so it indulges sin with sinful amusement. What makes these shows so popular to watch? It surely isn't righteousness. 

I'm not condemning anyone who chooses to watch them. But let's just call it what it is. There's no sanitizing of these shows, no validating. It's a guilty pleasure, point blank. 

One of our members put it perfectly and I didn't catch it at first, but this thread topic is a perfect example of what 'we' as humans do...

_For the sake of 'Art' (or in this case a 'guilty pleasure'), we seem to be willing to ignore the cussing, violence and sexual content because of the message, or because it's beautifully done or (whatever our reasoning is)..._

As Christians we must be real. The more we lie to 'ourselves' (make excuses for we allow), we leave room for satan to deceive us even more. 

We must admit a wrong is a wrong and just be truthful by saying, _'I know this is wrong, but I'm watching it anyway, cause I want to.'_

As humans we are 'ALL' guilty of this. "We are"...

_I know I shouldn't eat this, but I want to. _

_I know this dress is short, but I like how I look in it. _

_I know it's wrong to let him kiss me, but I like how it feels._

_I know it's wrong to ...... (insert guilty pleasure here )_

Hey the list is endless. Just admit what it is. God still sees it and He's still aware of what's truly in our hearts. 

I'm first to admit the guilt. No more excuses. Wrong is still wrong. I'm not going to stop something from being wrong just because I'm blocking the Holy Spirit's convictions just to make myself feel better. 

I'm guilty... why cover it up with a validation.  I don't watch 'Mary Jane' but I've taken in episodes of RHOA ... Oh yeah.   I got caught up in it.


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## LiftedUp (Jan 22, 2014)

I'm not sure if it's wrong but the movie preview had me too emotional to look at further episodes.  

I may or may not look at future episodes.

I think the reason that I'm here or there about the wrongness about it is because I look at a lot of shows and read many novels that may be considered "wrong" as well given this premise.  So for me it will be hypocritical.  It reminds me of when I was younger and my parents would criticize the popular music that I listened to.  I found it was hypocritical because they were huge Marvin Gaye fans etc. and let me not get started with that Anita Ward song lol.


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## LovelyRo (Jan 22, 2014)

Shimmie... It's obvious that a show with adultery as a plot is not glorifying God. I'm just saying that the show doesn't make adultery appealing to me. I think the show is interesting and I want MJ to be strong enough to stop having the affair... Resist the temptation.  

ETA... Definitely a guilty pleasure... What television show isn't????


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Jan 22, 2014)

Wow and I actually wanted to see this movie because I had seen the first one ...I wont be watching.






momi said:


> I couldn't agree more Sis. Shimmie. It's garbage and it's causing us to become more and more desensitized... Even in the Best Man movie I noticed this. Anal sex, alleyness, fighting, cursing, blasphemy...
> 
> Not to derail - but this is from the Best Man movie:
> 
> ...


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Jan 22, 2014)

Shimmie this actually ties in with the other thread


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## Shimmie (Jan 22, 2014)

Iwanthealthyhair67 said:


> @Shimmie this actually ties in with the other thread


 
Yes, Healthy Hair...  it sure is.  

I finally 'got it' right... thanks to you breaking it down for me.  

I admit to being guilty of this very thing.


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## Shimmie (Jan 22, 2014)

All4Tris said:


> @Shimmie... It's obvious that a show with adultery as a plot is not glorifying God. I'm just saying that the show doesn't make adultery appealing to me. I think the show is interesting and I want MJ to be strong enough to stop having the affair... Resist the temptation.
> 
> ETA... Definitely a guilty pleasure... What television show isn't????


 
I believe you, that you don't condone adultery. I don't condone murder but one of my favorite movies is "The Untouchables" with Sean Connery.  And this movie is full of violence.   I can sit there all day long and hope that no one gets killed, yet it's not going to happen. That's not the point of the movie. 

The same with Mary Jane, we can sit there and hope all day until Jesus comes that she 'changes' but we still know that it's not going to happen otherwise there'd be no 'Mary Jane'. The show is over. No one would watch it without her being in some type of sexual sin. 

That's the entire appeal and how she lives with it. That's the only plot to her storyline... her sex life. If it was just about her job/career. it wouldn't be a show. Gabby has 'marked' herself (even in her personal life) as one embroiled in sexual situations full of drama (which indeed) give no glory to God. 

In real life, her fiance' has a 'baby mama' drama going on. It's messed up. So there is nothing that her show has to offer that brings a positive image to any woman, especially our young girls who are watching and see Gabby as a role model. 

Note: @All4This... I not coming against you. But I'm dead on attacking this show and others like it. 

For you, Angel..

 

And I mean it.


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## Shimmie (Jan 22, 2014)

momi said:


> I couldn't agree more Sis. Shimmie. It's garbage and it's causing us to become more and more desensitized... Even in the Best Man movie I noticed this. Anal sex, alleyness, fighting, cursing, blasphemy...
> 
> Not to derail - but this is from the Best Man movie:
> 
> ...


 
momi... O' my goodness... 

Why are Black movies so full of this foolishness?   It's a misrepresentation of our culture and children are mimicking this gruesome behavior.


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## gn1g (Jan 22, 2014)

WOW momi.  I haven't seen best man movie, I would be utterly shocked to see some of those acts.  I caught a glimpse of Being Mary Jane, but fell asleep on it.  I was shocked at how they had her down btw his legs! Waay tooo much, what a msg!


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## Shimmie (Jan 22, 2014)

gn1g said:


> WOW momi.  I haven't seen best man movie, I would be utterly shocked to see some of those acts.  I caught a glimpse of Being Mary Jane, but fell asleep on it.  I was shocked at how they had her down btw his legs! Waay tooo much, what a msg!



Exactly, gn1g. What a message!  This show is pushing all of the "limits'to gain /lure an audience.  And it"s not changing cause folks don "t want it it change.  There"ll be no audience if it does.   Folks watch what appeals to them in one form or another.   

I haven"t watched Mary Jane but it"s very sad that she"s become an icon for so many Black women.  This also shows Gabby"s lack of confidence in herself to even fall for this role.


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## LovelyRo (Jan 22, 2014)

Shimmie... Big picture-wise, I get it!


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## Shimmie (Jan 22, 2014)

All4Tris said:


> @Shimmie... Big picture-wise, I get it!


 
All4Tris... 

Thanks Babygirl... I mean it... Thanks.  

I'm in this life right along with you.   And I have to admit that I've been just as 'de-sensitized' as anyone else.   I've been in the 'Arts' (music and dance) for a long, long time.   And I've 'overlooked' 'much'...very much, just to be in Dance classes that I loved so much.    

Even though 'My Values' were far different, I was yet still right there, because I loved (and still love) the Arts and wanted to be there.  

I used to 'validate' it because God was able to 'use' me to 'Minister' to a lot of people and their lives had truly been changed.    YET, the truth is that the gift that God placed in me, He was simply not going to allow it to go to waste.   So wherever I am, God uses me to His glory.   But it doesn't excuse / validate the choices that I've made.  I was there because I loved the glamour of it and because I was able to be a huge part of it. 

I've moved away from a lot of it, because the Truth of why I was there was no longer suppressed.     I still love the Arts and I am automatically drawn to many arenas of Dance and Music.   I still have my gowns, Indian Saris, and costumes from different shows.   Many I have packed carefully away, but others are still in my closet where I can see them.  They're gorgeous.  

The point I'm making is that we have to simply admit that what we do as Christians is because we want to do it.   We can't 'Jesus-size it'.   It's about our free will and personal choices.   And it's only by the loving grace of God that He allows us time to recognize it, admit it for what it is, and then walk away before it becomes a part of us.   

Much love to you...


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## mscurly (Jan 22, 2014)

Interesting topic which I have gone back and forth with about. The term guilty pleasure is right. Currently my fav shows to watch are Scandal, Being Mary Jane, The Haves and the Haves Nots, and RHOA

Now all of those shows got some adultery, lying, arguing and do not glorify God at all! It's entertainment and that's how I look at it. I absolutely do not see that as a way to live my life or make decisions that would be insane. 

I only felt convicted once during an episode of Scandal where there was adultery, gay sex scenes, and murder all in one and I was like Lord Jesus no I can't condone this. But honestly looking speaking I haven't completely stopped watching. 

Do I feel like by watching I agree with it NO. I understand the point of view that it can get into people spirits but I feel like that depends on how deep your walk is. I can watch those shows and not feel the desire to fornicate or commit some other sin. Would I let my kids watch that stuff of course not!

Then I also feel like what shows are left for us to watch if we don't watch shows that commit ANY sins. Heck even old reruns of Martin or Living Single committed sins those people were always having sex without being married (sexual immorality) yet nobody created threads against those shows. 

So that leaves me with the Food Network and Up the Gospel Music Channel or Disney! I can't think of any other network or programming where people are not committing sins. 

Not saying I agree with adultery and how its glorified on these shows. Very interesting topic………………...


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## Laela (Jan 22, 2014)

Sorry, when I first read the thread title, I thought it was about cannibis....


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## Shimmie (Jan 22, 2014)

mscurly said:


> Interesting topic which I have gone back and forth with about. The term guilty pleasure is right. Currently my fav shows to watch are Scandal, Being Mary Jane, The Haves and the Haves Nots, and RHOA
> 
> Now all of those shows got some adultery, lying, arguing and do not glorify God at all! It's entertainment and that's how I look at it. I absolutely do not see that as a way to live my life or make decisions that would be insane.
> 
> ...


 
Martin and Living Color were the 'seeds planted', cleverly disguised behind laughter, to appear as 'harmless'. 

I remember the episode with the 'gay' couple when the Damon Wayans' character was hit over the head and he 'became straight'. The hit on the head gave him amnesia and he 'forgot' that he was once 'gay'. 

The character that David Allen Grier played as his 'boyfriend' kept trying to 'bring him back', but attempting to hit him over the head again. 

I remember this skit, because it was the one time that I watched the show, and it was hilarious. I laughed so hard that I cried. It was truly funny. I found myself looking forward to the next Sunday's episode, because I wanted to laugh again. I was going through something at the time and being able to laugh like that made me feel so much better. 

See how satan works?  See how the 'seed was planted'?

I don't remember how but I lost interest in the show and never watched it again after that one Sunday. The characters didn't appeal to me. It was the laugh that I was drawn to. 

I also remember a Martin episode that I absolutely loved. 

"My Mama's Bird". I laughed so hard. But again, I couldn't watch his other episodes because there was just way too much cussing and he and Gina lived together unmarried. 

(see the seed of sexual sin planted in both of these shows / validated with the laughter?)

A lot of these other shows have elements of what a person feels a void in their life. satan knows this; he knows that each of these shows are filling some type of void in a person's life. He especially deceives Christians with the thought that _"I don't agree with those lifestyles, even if I do watch them'._ 

Well the subconscious is saying something different. What are these shows providing to one's soul that one feels in lack of? What's behind the desire to watch them? 

Right now there is a high anticipation for the next episode of RHOA... "The Huge Fight", takes place. This episode of RHOA will be epic in audience viewing and afterwards the discussions of it will go on for weeks and months to come. Why are we so drawn to violence, drama and discord? What is the void in ones' life to drawn them to this venue of entertainment? 

This is not a criticism of anyone, it's just a soul searching question, asking 'what is the void in one's soul?

These two shows among others were the desensitizers for what we see now.


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## Shimmie (Jan 22, 2014)

Laela said:


> Sorry, when I first read the thread title, I thought it was about cannibis....


 


I'm sure that topic is not far behind...


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## mscurly (Jan 22, 2014)

Shimmie said:


> Well *the subconscious is saying something different. What are these shows providing to one's soul that one feels in lack of? What's behind the desire to watch them? *
> 
> Right now there is a high anticipation for the next episode of RHOA... "The Huge Fight", takes place. This episode of RHOA will be epic in audience viewing and afterwards the discussions of it will go on for weeks and months to come. *Why are we so drawn to violence, drama and discord? What is the void in ones' life to drawn them to this venue of entertainment? *
> 
> ...





Wow yes very thought provoking insights shimmie! 

I know for me watching these shows is almost like an escape from reality. It takes the focus off of real life. So if I'm dealing with a problem or issue I don't have to think about it because I'm caught up with watching and then talking about the shows after their over. Maybe even thinking well my life isn't as bad as those people (characters from the show). 

I'm just being real and transparent. That's what I and a lot of other people do we watch these shows and then hop on this board and or chat about it with our friends like "Girl did you see that episode………." Wow that was good. 

But I agree with your statement about planting a seed. That is how Satan attacks he starts off slow and little by little and before you know it…….your drifting away from God and your actions stop lining up with his word.


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## Laela (Jan 22, 2014)

Not that far.... I agree. Was watching the news earlier on the legality of marijuana since that's the discussion _du jour_. and when I logged in, I first thought the topic made it to CF.. lol

I'm reading your post on In Living Color and Martin..  leftovers from blaxploitation. The things we see as harmless, in hindsight. _Martin _pretty much was about disrespecting women and portrayed men as weak (Cole), lazy (Brutha from da fifth flo') and manipulative (Martin) ..then there was Shenaynay the he-she and ILC's Men on Film. I watched those shows as a kid, and thought they were funny... they're not funny now, rather annoying. But I agree, they helped laid the foundation, among many other shows.
That is why I loved that Cosby tried to revamp the image of blacks with the Cosby Show. For every pinch, there is an ouch.




Shimmie said:


> I'm sure that topic is not far behind...


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## momi (Jan 22, 2014)

Laela said:


> Not that far.... I agree. Was watching the news earlier on the legality of marijuana since that's the discussion _du jour_. and when I logged in, I first thought the topic made it to CF.. lol
> 
> I'm reading your post on In Living Color and Martin..  leftovers from blaxploitation. The things we see as harmless, in hindsight. _Martin _pretty much was about disrespecting women and portrayed men as weak (Cole), lazy (Brutha from da fifth flo') and manipulative (Martin) ..then there was Shenaynay the he-she and ILC's Men on Film. I watched those shows as a kid, and thought they were funny... they're not funny now, rather annoying. But I agree, they helped laid the foundation, among many other shows.
> That is why I loved that Cosby tried to revamp the image of blacks with the Cosby Show. For every pinch, there is an ouch.



Excellent point Laela.   I used to think Martin was an "after dark" type of show but compared to what's on now it's like Sesame Street.  

Sin always progresses if there is no repentance ...

Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied. Proverbs 27:20


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## momi (Jan 22, 2014)

gn1g said:


> WOW momi.  I haven't seen best man movie, I would be utterly shocked to see some of those acts.  I caught a glimpse of Being Mary Jane, but fell asleep on it.  I was shocked at how they had her down btw his legs! Waay tooo much, what a msg!



Yes gn1g it was too much.  I'm ashamed to say that I've seen it.  Half of my "Christian" friends on FB were raving about it so I figured I'd give it a chance. 

I haven't been that convicted in quite some time... I kept hoping that it would "get better" but honestly I knew that it wouldn't.


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## Shimmie (Jan 22, 2014)

mscurly said:


> Wow yes very thought provoking insights shimmie!
> 
> I know for me watching these shows is almost like an escape from reality. It takes the focus off of real life. So if I'm dealing with a problem or issue I don't have to think about it because I'm caught up with watching and then talking about the shows after their over. Maybe even thinking well my life isn't as bad as those people (characters from the show).
> 
> ...


 
I never understood the interest in any of the 'House Wife' shows.   They were just so boring.    However, I love Tyler Perry.    My number one collection of DVD's are fitness and dance.  Next in my collection are Tyler Perry's plays and movies.    What is it that I love so much about Tyler that I overlook the cursing and violence from Madea?


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## Shimmie (Jan 22, 2014)

Laela said:


> Not that far.... I agree. Was watching the news earlier on the legality of marijuana since that's the discussion _du jour_. and when I logged in, I first thought the topic made it to CF.. lol
> 
> I'm reading your post on In Living Color and Martin.. leftovers from blaxploitation. The things we see as harmless, in hindsight. _Martin _pretty much was about disrespecting women and portrayed men as weak (Cole), lazy (Brutha from da fifth flo') and manipulative (Martin) ..then there was Shenaynay the he-she and ILC's Men on Film. I watched those shows as a kid, and thought they were funny... they're not funny now, rather annoying. But I agree, they helped laid the foundation, among many other shows.
> That is why I loved that Cosby tried to revamp the image of blacks with the Cosby Show. For every pinch, there is an ouch.


 
The Cosby show was epic... and nothing has yet to follow in neither movies or TV that I am aware of.   No one has yet to top the Cosby shows.   I wonder why that is?


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## Kinkyhairlady (Jan 23, 2014)

I'll admit I watch it along with Scandal. I just look away when the scenes get a bit to much but I like it for the drama. I mean nothing on TV is really good for Christians may the Christian channel. As long as what you see does not affect your thoughts I think it's ok.


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## Iwanthealthyhair67 (Jan 23, 2014)

lol oh my goodness




Laela said:


> Sorry, when I first read the thread title, I thought it was about cannibis....


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## Shimmie (Jan 23, 2014)

Kinkyhairlady said:


> I'll admit I watch it along with Scandal. I just look away when the scenes get a bit to much but I like it for the drama. I mean nothing on TV is really good for Christians may the Christian channel. As long as what you see does not affect your thoughts I think it's ok.


 
Look away as opposed to not watching the show at all... 

The show has already seeped into a person's spirit, the evidence is that 'they continue to watch' it.   It's on their agenda, to tune in each week that it's broadcasted.   It's no different than a drug...when one continues to take the drug it's because it's gotten into their system and their body and soul depends upon that drug and they don't want to give it up.  

As a society, we do too much. "looking away" and sin does much more abound as a result.   

The show being called 'Mary Jane' is quite telling... Folks are enjoying the 'high' that comes with it.


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## HWAY (Jan 23, 2014)

Watching the show will affect one's thoughts.  The enemy knows these shows appeal to our flesh and we store the memories in our hearts and minds. 
Great thread!


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## felic1 (Jan 23, 2014)

I have not watched Scandal, mary jane or rhoa or friends, will and grace. I am not perfect and I unfortunately have a weakness for English literature. Enter the tudors. It was steamy. I had to back away from it. Way back. Even now I have something taped with Richard III. I have no need to be smug. I know about me and this English lit. It is graphic. Even though I like doris day, and the sound of music. I know many of my viewing choices need to improve. I looked at a version of superman recently that I had not seen. Superman had a baby out of wedlock with Lois Lane.....


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## Shimmie (Jan 24, 2014)

felic1 said:


> I have not watched Scandal, mary jane or rhoa or friends, will and grace. I am not perfect and I unfortunately have a weakness for English literature. Enter the tudors. It was steamy. I had to back away from it. Way back. Even now I have something taped with Richard III. *I have no need to be smug*. I know about me and this English lit. It is graphic. Even though I like doris day, and the sound of music. I know many of my viewing choices need to improve. I looked at a version of superman recently that I had not seen. Superman had a baby out of wedlock with Lois Lane.....


 
I hope and pray that I am not appearing 'smug' in my posts. I apologize to everyone if it appears that way. 

My life is not freshly fallen snow... I wish to Heaven that it was. 

My point is not to allow satan to deceive us with the excuses that we make or the cover-ups for the reasons that we 'watch' or do things. 

Mary Jane is a horrid, negative influence. And it's drawing people in to view it. I've read the reviews in the ET threads and it's not good that people are watching this. Young girls are watching these shows and are being influenced to follow the same path. 

Look at the negative influence that music videos have had on our generation. The sex and the foul language occurring with Tweens and Teens has exploded. It's made the acceptance of these lifestyles far worse than it's ever been. 

You would think that the Black entertainers would just STOP and use their talent and money to bring a positive influence to the Black community instead of killing it with their lust for even more lust and the love of money. Adding to the flame, BET and the NAACP are giving awards to these entertainers, giving them accolades for their Black-plotation when in truth, they should not be awarded at all. 

The reason there's nothing Else to watch in TV is because 'we' support the trash that already on there.  When we watch it, we feed it, we nurture and give it life. If we don't watch it, it dies. Plain and simple.


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## HWAY (Jan 24, 2014)

No one is perfect. That's why this thread and others like are important.  One may not watch several of these shows but are we viewing TV shows, reading books or watching movies that are questionable. It's very easy to deceive ourselves.

James 1:23

 "For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror"


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## Shimmie (Jan 24, 2014)

HWAY said:


> No one is perfect. That's why this thread and others like are important. One may not watch several of these shows but are we viewing TV shows, reading books or watching movies that are questionable. It's very easy to deceive ourselves.
> 
> James 1:23
> 
> "For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror"


 
Thanks for sharing this @HWAY. My attack is truly on the show and it's unfavorable content, how it misrepresents our culture and it's affect on our young children and the image of Black women.


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