2020 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread
- Thread starter snoop
- Start date
snoop
Well-Known Member
So, I've been slowly re-reading the challenges starting at week 1 and taking time to write about them in my journal. I haven't been making much progress in the That Girl challenge, but I feel like this challenge is helping me to cultivate the mental feminine/That Girl personality that I want to achieve. When I get the mental down, the physical will fall into place.
I've noticed that over the last while as I've been picking up more domestic chores, DH has been polishing his masculine, even if he isn't aware of it. I used to do a lot of the cleaning and tidying and cooking, but I was burning myself out. Now, I do, it -- maybe not to the same extent as I use to -- but I'm happier doing it and I'm doing it with a purpose and I feel like he's responding positively to it.
Today, I learned that if and when I have the time, I'm going to start ironing my duvet covers and sheets that I use, that get easily wrinkled. The bed looks so much more polished when you aren't just smoothing them out by hand.
I've noticed that over the last while as I've been picking up more domestic chores, DH has been polishing his masculine, even if he isn't aware of it. I used to do a lot of the cleaning and tidying and cooking, but I was burning myself out. Now, I do, it -- maybe not to the same extent as I use to -- but I'm happier doing it and I'm doing it with a purpose and I feel like he's responding positively to it.
Today, I learned that if and when I have the time, I'm going to start ironing my duvet covers and sheets that I use, that get easily wrinkled. The bed looks so much more polished when you aren't just smoothing them out by hand.
Chicoro
5 Year Shea Anniversary: Started Dec 16th, 2016!
Week 10: Being Childlike
On Saturday I had lunch with a friend at her house. There was a little one there in the throes of the "terrible twos". She put her feet on me and refused to remove them and had the nerve to start kicking. I growled at her, grabbed her and tickled her. I tossed her gently on the couch and pinned her feet briefly and tickled her some more while growling and showing my teeth. She laid on the floor and so did I. When it was time to go, I took her shoe away from her dad and removed my boots and acted as if her shoe were mine.
Last night some guy in the grocery store came up to me saying he needed cash. He had a type of government aid card. He told me he would buy my food and then he wanted me to give him cash back.
Interestingly, he spoke to me in English and he was black. When I politely refused he said,"You mean you won't help another, fellow, black person? " After my three refusals and a why not from him, my reply was,"No. Because I don't know you." As he walked and turned to the left of the aisle he threw back at me very loudly, "F you, you blah blah." I moved backwards faster than a crab, toward his direction to ensure I was within his ear shout and shouted, "May God bless you, too!" I smiled to myself and continued to shop.
Two days ago, as I was going down the subway escalator, I tried to move past these three young men. I said excuse me in French and as they were slow to move I said it in English. One person mocked me and repeated what I said in his accented French. Then he said in a sweet but loud voice in his weak English,"Suck my d@!k!" Usually I ignore stuff. But I turned back around and said in French with a sweet smile and even sweeter tone of voice, "No, thank you!" They all bursted out laughing. They were on the same platform as I and got in the same subway car and we had no further incidents.
Most times I remove my attention off folks and do not respond. I will say that all three mentioned incidents made me uncomfortable, at first.
For me, being childlike is being resilient. Being childlike is finding the joy in the situation and remaining at peace, within, even when something potentially ugly is swirling around me, outside of me.
I love love the grocery store. Just walking down the aisles is a pleasure for me. So, I do it weekly and that's how I come upon my great bargains and savings as it relates to my groceries and household items.
The most important thing for me to be childlike is to constantly refrain from judging other people.
It's difficult. Yet, this action has changed my life considerably and has added so much to the cultivation of my inner peace and my joy, and my child likeness.
On Saturday I had lunch with a friend at her house. There was a little one there in the throes of the "terrible twos". She put her feet on me and refused to remove them and had the nerve to start kicking. I growled at her, grabbed her and tickled her. I tossed her gently on the couch and pinned her feet briefly and tickled her some more while growling and showing my teeth. She laid on the floor and so did I. When it was time to go, I took her shoe away from her dad and removed my boots and acted as if her shoe were mine.
Last night some guy in the grocery store came up to me saying he needed cash. He had a type of government aid card. He told me he would buy my food and then he wanted me to give him cash back.
Interestingly, he spoke to me in English and he was black. When I politely refused he said,"You mean you won't help another, fellow, black person? " After my three refusals and a why not from him, my reply was,"No. Because I don't know you." As he walked and turned to the left of the aisle he threw back at me very loudly, "F you, you blah blah." I moved backwards faster than a crab, toward his direction to ensure I was within his ear shout and shouted, "May God bless you, too!" I smiled to myself and continued to shop.
Two days ago, as I was going down the subway escalator, I tried to move past these three young men. I said excuse me in French and as they were slow to move I said it in English. One person mocked me and repeated what I said in his accented French. Then he said in a sweet but loud voice in his weak English,"Suck my d@!k!" Usually I ignore stuff. But I turned back around and said in French with a sweet smile and even sweeter tone of voice, "No, thank you!" They all bursted out laughing. They were on the same platform as I and got in the same subway car and we had no further incidents.
Most times I remove my attention off folks and do not respond. I will say that all three mentioned incidents made me uncomfortable, at first.
For me, being childlike is being resilient. Being childlike is finding the joy in the situation and remaining at peace, within, even when something potentially ugly is swirling around me, outside of me.
I love love the grocery store. Just walking down the aisles is a pleasure for me. So, I do it weekly and that's how I come upon my great bargains and savings as it relates to my groceries and household items.
The most important thing for me to be childlike is to constantly refrain from judging other people.
It's difficult. Yet, this action has changed my life considerably and has added so much to the cultivation of my inner peace and my joy, and my child likeness.
Last edited:
tinkat
Well-Known Member
This challenge has helped me slow down. It also helped to see that I am more organized that I give myself credit for. I have been making more meals this week which has been great. I have been cursing less to express myself. I will say that it has been a tough couple of weeks because my husband has been working a lot which means that I am with my daughter 24 hours a day without much help. I recently started therapy and we talked about getting people I trust to watch her so that I can do things for myself especially when my husband is not available and so that we both can have quality time together. My homework was to make a list of people I feel like I would not mind watching my daughter and write the reason why along with any concerns. The new awareness is that my anxiety stemmed from childhood and what I experienced is what it making me nervous about having anyone watching my child. This was a great week to be slow to respond and to express myself without being extremely aggressive however I still have work to do with that. This week has had me think about how I speak to myself in my head. The only thing that did not have a chance to do this week was my walk by myself. I now see how having someone I trust to watch my daughter for a couple of hours could relieve some stress and I could have had this time to myself. I still on planning on doing it. I will have two walks for the following week to make up. I enjoy doing my facials and the affirmations keep me very mindful of my words.
Week 3 Challenge
1. Name some ways you could work on keeping your poise in trying situations.
Being Slow to Respond. Do not make assumptions. Be Patient. Take a deep breath if I feel upset, stressed, anxious, or angry. Then take a few moments to process and respond as respectfully and calmly as I can. If I feel like I cannot, do not say anything until I can. Be flexible. Let it go.
2. NO person or incident can take you out of your feminine grace. However, this must be a very deliberate practice. What are some things you need to change about yourself to STAY in your feminine grace?
I need to release the Need to be right. Accept things as they are especially when things don't go as planned. when upset communicate clean, clear, and complete so that I am heard.
3. What are some possible solutions/scripts for the examples listed above in purple.
-Someone cuts you coffin Traffic. Take a deep breath.
Someone steals credit at work for something you did? Your action.-Take a moment for myself to process how I feel. Once I am calm, have a converstation in private expressing to them how I feel and ask them not to do it again. Create a boundary that if it happens again I will not work with them in the future
-Your husband says something unkind and insensitive to you? Take a moment to breathe. If I am upset, tell him I need a moment to process that. Share with him how he made me feel. Create a boundary about how we talk to each other.
-He leaves his shoes everywhere even after you've asked him numerous times to stop. Express how it makes me feel and ask how we can come to a compromise.
-A beautiful woman walks in the room....are you unnerved? Unbothered? I am unnerved.
-You’re supposed to meet your girlfriend for lunch but she doesn’t show up and doesn’t call you to let you know. I would call or send her a text to make sure she is okay. I let it go the first time if she just stood me up. If it happens again I share that I enjoy our time together however my time is valuable so please give me a heads if you cannot make it. I understand that things happen.
Week 3 Challenge
1. Name some ways you could work on keeping your poise in trying situations.
Being Slow to Respond. Do not make assumptions. Be Patient. Take a deep breath if I feel upset, stressed, anxious, or angry. Then take a few moments to process and respond as respectfully and calmly as I can. If I feel like I cannot, do not say anything until I can. Be flexible. Let it go.
2. NO person or incident can take you out of your feminine grace. However, this must be a very deliberate practice. What are some things you need to change about yourself to STAY in your feminine grace?
I need to release the Need to be right. Accept things as they are especially when things don't go as planned. when upset communicate clean, clear, and complete so that I am heard.
3. What are some possible solutions/scripts for the examples listed above in purple.
-Someone cuts you coffin Traffic. Take a deep breath.
Someone steals credit at work for something you did? Your action.-Take a moment for myself to process how I feel. Once I am calm, have a converstation in private expressing to them how I feel and ask them not to do it again. Create a boundary that if it happens again I will not work with them in the future
-Your husband says something unkind and insensitive to you? Take a moment to breathe. If I am upset, tell him I need a moment to process that. Share with him how he made me feel. Create a boundary about how we talk to each other.
-He leaves his shoes everywhere even after you've asked him numerous times to stop. Express how it makes me feel and ask how we can come to a compromise.
-A beautiful woman walks in the room....are you unnerved? Unbothered? I am unnerved.
-You’re supposed to meet your girlfriend for lunch but she doesn’t show up and doesn’t call you to let you know. I would call or send her a text to make sure she is okay. I let it go the first time if she just stood me up. If it happens again I share that I enjoy our time together however my time is valuable so please give me a heads if you cannot make it. I understand that things happen.
snoop
Well-Known Member
I'd never thought about it that way before. We often overlook how much kids actually handle emotionally in their day-to-day lives. It doesn't matter if it's not getting the toy that they want, or something that they're requesting to eat, or watching tv, they fret briefly then bounce back without a second thought. They've got that ability to breeze through one situation to the next. Resilient and carefree.
snoop
Well-Known Member
Participants -
@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@almond eyes
@tinkat
@Chicoro
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Let's Get Some Sunshine
"If you truly love nature, you will find beauty anywhere."
Let's focus on the ability to just BE. Get in touch with your feelings. How does it feel to feel the warmth of the sun on your cheeks? How does it feel to run and let all your problems run away with it. This week let's focus on our feelings by connecting with nature. Exchange your screen time for some green time. When sunshine begins hitting the skin, it begins a process that leads to the creation and activation of vitamin D. Studies suggest that this vitamin helps fight certain conditions, from osteoporosis and cancer to depression and heart attacks.
Getting some sunshine could include numerous activities. Maybe you want to go cycling, a small hike in a state park, take the kiddies to the park and be present and take everything in. Have fun with them! Take a nice walk in your neighborhood. Take the latest stab at earthing and take those shoes off and let your toes nestle into the sand/grass.
Think about it. Nature does not hurry, yet everything is STILL accomplished. Why the rush? Slow Down. Take in the EXPERIENCE and not the end result. Make it a ritual if you need to.
Week 11 Challenge
1. Go outside and do an outside activity. Blow bubbles, plant flowers, go for a walk on a nature trail. Try earthing. Go for a bike ride. Take the time to take enjoy life around you.
2. Continue to focus on not rushing. Take your time. In the grocery store, at your job, getting ready for bed, enjoying your home, cleaning, driving. Slow down. Focus on one thing at a time. Take in the beauty all around you. Be present.
3. How do you feel when you are outside?
@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@almond eyes
@tinkat
@Chicoro
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Let's Get Some Sunshine
"If you truly love nature, you will find beauty anywhere."
Let's focus on the ability to just BE. Get in touch with your feelings. How does it feel to feel the warmth of the sun on your cheeks? How does it feel to run and let all your problems run away with it. This week let's focus on our feelings by connecting with nature. Exchange your screen time for some green time. When sunshine begins hitting the skin, it begins a process that leads to the creation and activation of vitamin D. Studies suggest that this vitamin helps fight certain conditions, from osteoporosis and cancer to depression and heart attacks.
Getting some sunshine could include numerous activities. Maybe you want to go cycling, a small hike in a state park, take the kiddies to the park and be present and take everything in. Have fun with them! Take a nice walk in your neighborhood. Take the latest stab at earthing and take those shoes off and let your toes nestle into the sand/grass.
Think about it. Nature does not hurry, yet everything is STILL accomplished. Why the rush? Slow Down. Take in the EXPERIENCE and not the end result. Make it a ritual if you need to.
Week 11 Challenge
1. Go outside and do an outside activity. Blow bubbles, plant flowers, go for a walk on a nature trail. Try earthing. Go for a bike ride. Take the time to take enjoy life around you.
2. Continue to focus on not rushing. Take your time. In the grocery store, at your job, getting ready for bed, enjoying your home, cleaning, driving. Slow down. Focus on one thing at a time. Take in the beauty all around you. Be present.
3. How do you feel when you are outside?
Last edited:
snoop
Well-Known Member
Oh no! Sorry about that. I'll update right away.
Brwnbeauti
Well-Known Member
1When it gets warmer and less contagious outside I am going to take one of those public bikes for a ride. For now I’ll continue to walk outdoors as much as possible and practice walker slower.
2i try my best to not rush and put myself on others time. I take my time, I do things slowly and methodically with intention.
3I love being outside. I live in an area where I can walk to almost anything and I take full advantage of that.
2i try my best to not rush and put myself on others time. I take my time, I do things slowly and methodically with intention.
3I love being outside. I live in an area where I can walk to almost anything and I take full advantage of that.
caribeandiva
Human being
I’ll be lurking in this thread to soak up all of this info!
tinkat
Well-Known Member
Week 4 Challenge
This was a great week despite it being very intense emotionally with the full moon, the end of the mercury retrograde, and the coronavirus. I found myself being a little more productive despite the events going on globally. This was a great time to exercise positivity. I did make up for my walk that I missed last week. I have gone out walking at least 4 times this week. I have not been spending my time watching as much mindless youtube videos and I did clear out my social media friends list. I unfollowed certain people who tend to share or express a lot of worry. I also unfollowed people who are not in alignment to what I would like to see in my life. I feel way more present with my feelings. I have been able to truly but some productive energy into my business planning and also gained a lot of clarity during prayer and meditation about what my vision for my life is. I finally set out some time to practice taking pictures on my camera that I have had for months. I went to my first one on one photography class last week.
Create an enviroment of positivity and encouragement. Run in the directions where you are loved. Run towards femininity, healthy relationships, fulfilling careers, and environments of positivity, faith, and hope.
This was a great week despite it being very intense emotionally with the full moon, the end of the mercury retrograde, and the coronavirus. I found myself being a little more productive despite the events going on globally. This was a great time to exercise positivity. I did make up for my walk that I missed last week. I have gone out walking at least 4 times this week. I have not been spending my time watching as much mindless youtube videos and I did clear out my social media friends list. I unfollowed certain people who tend to share or express a lot of worry. I also unfollowed people who are not in alignment to what I would like to see in my life. I feel way more present with my feelings. I have been able to truly but some productive energy into my business planning and also gained a lot of clarity during prayer and meditation about what my vision for my life is. I finally set out some time to practice taking pictures on my camera that I have had for months. I went to my first one on one photography class last week.
Create an enviroment of positivity and encouragement. Run in the directions where you are loved. Run towards femininity, healthy relationships, fulfilling careers, and environments of positivity, faith, and hope.
- Make a list of everything that you want. Block/Unfriend/Unfollow 20 people on your timeline/friend list that don’t HELP YOU GET CLOSER TO THIS and bring you peace.-Done
- Take a social media detox. Limit or take yourself away from social media for the entire week. Use feeling messages to note how you feel after the completion of a week detox.-Done
- Journal about with whom are you surrounding yourself? Where do you spend most of your free time? What are you doing daily? What kind of thoughts — both those from within and those from others — are you listening to daily? What are you disposing yourself to consciously and subconsciously?-Done
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I took little guy to the park to play yesterday and I made sure to get 30 minutes of walking in. I really wasn’t feeling it at first because of the corona virus craze but I’m sooo glad I did. It was very warm yesterday and it felt good to get some Vitamin D instead of being cooped up in the house. He has a ball. I wish I. Ours keep that child like energy. He doesn’t even know what is going on.
Attachments
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
Very good
I'm out here in The Netherlands, came to celebrate my goddaughter's birthday. All of this will pass and then I would've regretted not being there for her 8th birthday. Took some beautiful pics:
We're sheltering them as much as possible but these schools won't let us be great. Apparently, they make them watch videos about it all day, errday * rolls eyes *. Yesterday, my sister took them swimming. They were one of two families that actually showed up
. Earlier this week I went back to cooking, even though I don't own a proper oven just yet:
Out here chilling with my fam, who actually lived through the civil war in Angola. So they know how to put things in perspective
.
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
Ladies, let's not let this Coronavirus craziness get us off track: remain feminine. Listen to the instructions of the government, if your DH's point of view differs, listen to him and if you happen to disagree; explain to him why calmly and with a feminine voice .
Keep smiling, looking good and remaining calm + lighthearted (both on and offline):
If you have conspiracy theories about this whole ordeal, keep them for yourself right now. Even on here: don't entertain them and don't share them. That only leads to psychosis. Your demeanor will keep the children calm, tell them to wash their hands frequently and calmly. Make a game out of if and if you have to reward them, do so, this will work as an incentive (much like with us adults
). Let's share some tips with each other, as to how we are coping! Let's also remain grateful for the internet, as we always have been on LHCF .
.Keep smiling, looking good and remaining calm + lighthearted (both on and offline):
If you have conspiracy theories about this whole ordeal, keep them for yourself right now. Even on here: don't entertain them and don't share them. That only leads to psychosis. Your demeanor will keep the children calm, tell them to wash their hands frequently and calmly. Make a game out of if and if you have to reward them, do so, this will work as an incentive (much like with us adults
). Let's share some tips with each other, as to how we are coping! Let's also remain grateful for the internet, as we always have been on LHCF .
snoop
Well-Known Member
Participants -
@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@almond eyes
@tinkat
@Chicoro
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
@PrissiSippi 's story:
My dog died this week. My life changed in the blink of an eye. I let him out to go to the bathroom at 6:00 a.m. At 6:45 I noticed he never came back from my back yard. My son asked "Where is Loui?" over and over and I reluctantly had to leave to go to work and I made plans of coming back to let him in on my lunch break. I pulled out of the driveway and turned the corner and I saw my cute lil puppy in the road. I cried, cried, and cried mostly because I knew I would never see him after this day.
All that to say, the next day I remembered EVERYTHING. I usually get annoyed. He wakes me up so loudly. I hear him as he barks barks barks with CONVICTION and wants me to take him out NOW. He eats his food ONLY if you stand right there by him and say, "Loui eat." He feels so soft and cuddly as I stroke his head while reading articles and watching tv. He always smells like the fresh smell of grass because despite me bathing him weekly....he just loves the grass and he loves to play.
Until he had died, I had forgotten all of this. It had become my normal. I mean he does all of this every single day. And even though he brought me so much joy, you forget how powerful every little thing makes you feel. Sadly, it took his death to look at him with appreciation and with fresh eyes. What are you taking advantage of this week? What could you be grateful about?
Another example is when you go into a kitchen. You instantly smell the aroma of freshly cooked food because it's hits you. You feel it intensely at first in your stomach. Mmmmm you can't WAIT to eat. However, after 5 minutes, you don't notice the smells anymore. Does this mean the food got less yummy? No...but you just got used to it being there.
You may have to start small. If he wants to hold your hand, relax and really really laser focus on the feelings from holding his hand. Can you feel the grooves in his hand. Can you feel the soft warm squeeze on his fingers as they lace through your fingers. RELAX. Feel yourself becoming more receptive and open to your feelings and sensations. Squeeze his feelings back. Let go of thoughts of the future. Stay in the present. By starting small you can easily train yourself to move on to hugs and then kisses and then more. Stay receptive and open to what comes next. Stay present.
Recently my ex-husband brought me some food. In my head, I said something to the lines of "He couldn't even do that when he was at home." That's an example of living in the past. I made the decision to breathe in and out, I slowed, down, and instead just said "Thank You!" and smiled. Of course, we all have boundaries. My boundary hasn't changed (to remain divorced) but my mindset to make a conscious choice to enjoy the present, can.
We need boundaries in order to keep us emotionally and physically safe. However, we don’t have to bring our past experiences with toxic or tough people to every interaction with them and we don’t have to replay old movies in our head of how we already know them and what they are all about.
Pure presence in the moment and seeing things with fresh eyes helps your CEO (masculine brain) shut off and relax. It is so much more meaningful and, in fact, fun, to just go with the flow, remain receptive, and see what happens. Like the memory of my dog, once things become familiar to us we no longer see them. However, as it relates to being feminine, we must make the effort to stay in the present see things fresh.
When we’re fresh and present, everything expands to be more fully and authentically alive…you notice everything. The smell of your mother's roses when you enter her driveway. The sight of a flower coming out for the first day of spring. They way your child wrinkles their nose when they see you after school. You see the beauty of life around you. We open life up and we live authentically. The simple choice to use your senses, be present, and to see things fresh brings the frequency of love that is all there really is to see.
Keep the focus on you. Keep your focus on the present. Every day make the choice to see things with fresh eyes.
Week 12 Challenge
1. Take the time this week to be very present. How do you feel? What did you do?
2. Continue to focus on not rushing. Take your time. Look at life like this was your first day seeing it. Notice the beauty in flowers. Notice how your children smile so innocently when exposed to new things. Take in your friends' excitement over seeing/spending time with you. Slow down. Focus on one thing at a time. Take in the beauty all around you. Be present.
3. What/Who could you look at with fresh eyes?
@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@almond eyes
@tinkat
@Chicoro
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
@PrissiSippi 's story:
My dog died this week. My life changed in the blink of an eye. I let him out to go to the bathroom at 6:00 a.m. At 6:45 I noticed he never came back from my back yard. My son asked "Where is Loui?" over and over and I reluctantly had to leave to go to work and I made plans of coming back to let him in on my lunch break. I pulled out of the driveway and turned the corner and I saw my cute lil puppy in the road. I cried, cried, and cried mostly because I knew I would never see him after this day.
All that to say, the next day I remembered EVERYTHING. I usually get annoyed. He wakes me up so loudly. I hear him as he barks barks barks with CONVICTION and wants me to take him out NOW. He eats his food ONLY if you stand right there by him and say, "Loui eat." He feels so soft and cuddly as I stroke his head while reading articles and watching tv. He always smells like the fresh smell of grass because despite me bathing him weekly....he just loves the grass and he loves to play.
Until he had died, I had forgotten all of this. It had become my normal. I mean he does all of this every single day. And even though he brought me so much joy, you forget how powerful every little thing makes you feel. Sadly, it took his death to look at him with appreciation and with fresh eyes. What are you taking advantage of this week? What could you be grateful about?
Another example is when you go into a kitchen. You instantly smell the aroma of freshly cooked food because it's hits you. You feel it intensely at first in your stomach. Mmmmm you can't WAIT to eat. However, after 5 minutes, you don't notice the smells anymore. Does this mean the food got less yummy? No...but you just got used to it being there.
You may have to start small. If he wants to hold your hand, relax and really really laser focus on the feelings from holding his hand. Can you feel the grooves in his hand. Can you feel the soft warm squeeze on his fingers as they lace through your fingers. RELAX. Feel yourself becoming more receptive and open to your feelings and sensations. Squeeze his feelings back. Let go of thoughts of the future. Stay in the present. By starting small you can easily train yourself to move on to hugs and then kisses and then more. Stay receptive and open to what comes next. Stay present.
Recently my ex-husband brought me some food. In my head, I said something to the lines of "He couldn't even do that when he was at home." That's an example of living in the past. I made the decision to breathe in and out, I slowed, down, and instead just said "Thank You!" and smiled. Of course, we all have boundaries. My boundary hasn't changed (to remain divorced) but my mindset to make a conscious choice to enjoy the present, can.
We need boundaries in order to keep us emotionally and physically safe. However, we don’t have to bring our past experiences with toxic or tough people to every interaction with them and we don’t have to replay old movies in our head of how we already know them and what they are all about.
Pure presence in the moment and seeing things with fresh eyes helps your CEO (masculine brain) shut off and relax. It is so much more meaningful and, in fact, fun, to just go with the flow, remain receptive, and see what happens. Like the memory of my dog, once things become familiar to us we no longer see them. However, as it relates to being feminine, we must make the effort to stay in the present see things fresh.
When we’re fresh and present, everything expands to be more fully and authentically alive…you notice everything. The smell of your mother's roses when you enter her driveway. The sight of a flower coming out for the first day of spring. They way your child wrinkles their nose when they see you after school. You see the beauty of life around you. We open life up and we live authentically. The simple choice to use your senses, be present, and to see things fresh brings the frequency of love that is all there really is to see.
Keep the focus on you. Keep your focus on the present. Every day make the choice to see things with fresh eyes.
Week 12 Challenge
1. Take the time this week to be very present. How do you feel? What did you do?
2. Continue to focus on not rushing. Take your time. Look at life like this was your first day seeing it. Notice the beauty in flowers. Notice how your children smile so innocently when exposed to new things. Take in your friends' excitement over seeing/spending time with you. Slow down. Focus on one thing at a time. Take in the beauty all around you. Be present.
3. What/Who could you look at with fresh eyes?
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
@PeaceLover went ahead and made this stuffed turkey leg for her and her daughter. Drool worthy! 
Plated it and everything.
Plated it and everything.Attachments
snoop
Well-Known Member
Checking in to see how everyone is doing. I'm assuming that most of us, if not all of us are probably practicing social distancing.
Over here, in Ontario, the elementary school children are on March Break as of Monday. As of yesterday, the province is in a state of emergency to the end of the month I know a lot of people are in a panic, but I thought that this time of isolation is a great time to just slow down, relax, and recharge. For the past 5 years, I've been a SAHM and I've never really felt comfortable in the role. It's not something that I'd been inspired to be. That is, until recently.
I realize that these past few years has been training me for this moment. In context, I realize how integral my role as "mom" and "wife" to keep the family calm and cared for.
First, I created a self care list for myself. I tried to get through it all on Monday, with the caveat that I wasn't going to force my way through the list. I got about half of the items. I didn't beat myself up about it. Instead, I was grateful for taking the time to just slow down and care for myself. I can always do the rest on another day.
While, this is going on, I've realized that I have three weeks to "relax". There's no school. No work (at least for one week since DH is on holiday). No extra curricular activities. No dinner dates. No commitments. How often will I have this chance to sit back and enjoy life? Enjoy my family? Even when we go on vacation, we're on-and-gone. This so far, has been my time for family.
At the beginning of the year, I created a meal plan for the first quarter of the year. Some of the meals are freezable (like soups and chili). I make a batch and divide it into two, if not three portions. This has been helpful for the past two weeks because I didn't have to spend time cooking dinner. I could just thaw the meal in the morning and then heat it on the stove in the evening.
I've been following a daily schedule with the babies, but the schedule allows me to wake up late and stay in bed for a couple of hours if I choose before starting my day -- breakfast, homework, crafts, then nap time/quiet time, walks, free time, meals, movies, and baths. I don't feel rushed and we're all having fun. Today, DH even set up an escape room for the kids that he'd been working on that rivaled any of the pro rooms that we've been to. We all had so much fun.
My ability to plan and plan ahead has helped us to just seamlessly move into this new state of being without too much stress and anxiety. I've witnessed that having an organized home is keeping things balanced fun. I still have to work on polishing my appearance while being at home, but elevating my energy levels is serving us all well.
Stay safe, ladies and don't let what's going on outside (of your doors) affect the beautiful environments you've created in your homes and in your hearts.
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I think we’re about to go walking. We’ve been the most nature loving, Crockpot cooking, grateful for life around us people lately. My son hates being cooped up in the house all day so the being outside and running gives him some kind of normalcy. I’ve been waking up every morning and making my bed nicely, keeping my room tidy and feminine (a few weeks ago I took time to add feminine frills to my bedroom and guest room) and get some physical activity in my life for at least 30 minutes a day. This has really been a God send. I love it.
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
Shoutout the @Supervixen I just loved seeing this cute little picture from her spending quality time with her loved ones. I honestly love scrolling y’all pics on Facebook. I feel so much love through each and every picture. Y’all have a wonderful day.
Attachments
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
Posted this in the Christian forum, thought it would be relevant here too:
Yup! Ladies, meditate on Psalm 51:16-17 too + 2 Chronicles 7:14. I see so many people trying to find solutions to what's going on, again, that is relying on flesh. God wants us to be gracefully broken and h-u-m-b-l-e ourselves, so that He can heal our lands.
Apocalypse means 'Revelations' in Greek. Each time something like this happens, people start showing their true colors: from admitting to atrocities to just showing how non-smart they are on FB. If you have co-workers who are non-believers, pray for them. It's a form of true activism. Because while we all have to work from home, it reveals what people's living situations is like: some don't want to work from home because they have an abusive spouse, some don't want to stay with their children because they are too wayward, others are anxious at the thought of being alone for so long...etc. Pray for these people, in whatever capacity these revelations come to you.
Remember Galatians 6:7, not just in the negative sense, but also in the positive sense. If you were obedient in the previous season, God is going to reward you now. This may cause people to hate you even more, remain steadfast. It will not be easy, but keep the faith!
Please don't see this is as me being disrespectful of people with another faith. Absolutely not, but I believe there are nuggets of wisdom in all these Scriptures, regardless of denomination or religious background. Thank you for your understanding.
Yup! Ladies, meditate on Psalm 51:16-17 too + 2 Chronicles 7:14
. I see so many people trying to find solutions to what's going on, again, that is relying on flesh. God wants us to be gracefully broken and h-u-m-b-l-e ourselves, so that He can heal our lands. Apocalypse means 'Revelations' in Greek. Each time something like this happens, people start showing their true colors: from admitting to atrocities to just showing how non-smart they are on FB. If you have co-workers who are non-believers, pray for them. It's a form of true activism. Because while we all have to work from home, it reveals what people's living situations is like: some don't want to work from home because they have an abusive spouse, some don't want to stay with their children because they are too wayward, others are anxious at the thought of being alone for so long...etc. Pray for these people, in whatever capacity these revelations come to you.
Remember Galatians 6:7, not just in the negative sense, but also in the positive sense. If you were obedient in the previous season, God is going to reward you now. This may cause people to hate you even more, remain steadfast. It will not be easy, but keep the faith!
Please don't see this is as me being disrespectful of people with another faith. Absolutely not, but I believe there are nuggets of wisdom in all these Scriptures, regardless of denomination or religious background. Thank you for your understanding.
tinkat
Well-Known Member
This was an interesting week to do this because many things are being closed/cancelled. However I still went to counseling and I did get a long overdue massage. I really needed it and I am glad I did both of those things for myself. I was encouraged by my therapist to start going to yoga classes or some activity where I can start connecting with other women locally. I was planning on going to a yoga class (because I have been wanting to do this for a while however everything has been cancelled as of now. However, I began this 30 day yoga challenge on youtube that I wanted to do at the start of this year. I really can tell that I am going to enjoy this. I have been going outside daily and I have taken my weekly walk by myself. I was more observant at how I responded to conflict this week. I realize that it is not what I say, but how I say it when it comes to my husband. I realize that the more self care activities I do for myself, the less heat I have on my tone. I realize that I had resentment of being overwhelmed at home with my daughter all the time. I want to be at home, but it is important to get out and do things by myself and for myself.
Week 5 Challenge
1. In your planner, plan out how next month (February) will go. How will you make time for your hobbies and goals? What days will you do hobbies and goals? Distance yourself from toxic personalities? Establish healthy boundaries? Walk away from arguments.-Done
I have already been scheduling time for hobbies and goals. I normally look on facebook events for things that I want to do in the community. Every week I write down what I want to do for the week and check it off when it is done. Sometimes unexpected things happen and change it to another day. I thankfully am not around toxic personalities on a daily basis anymore.
2. What are some ways to polish your femininity EVERYDAY? What will you do? What are your feminine hobbies, dreams, and aspirations.
Allow my intuition to guide me no matter what. Make time for baths. Take a bath at least once a week. Wear soft free flowing clothing when I am at home. I wear only dresses and skirts now so that helps a lot.
I love to prepare raw vegan dishes. I like studying astrology and numerology. It requires using your intuition for readings. I would also like to become a doula.
3. What is your drama blocking plan? Write it out.
Listen to understand. Don't take assumptions. Don't take anything personally. Express myself using I feel....If I recognize I am becoming upset/argumentative, then ask if I can have a moment and come back to conversation when ready. Make sure my tone is gentle and release the need to be critical. Offer constructive criticism with love if necessary. Use the affirmation Be Peace when I need to calm down.
4. How could you only be mad for 5 minutes and not let arguments RULE your entire day.
Acknowledge my feelings and not ignore it. Determine the real underlying upset. If it involves another set time aside when I am not angry to express how I feel. Reframe my observation of the situation to see the value of this "upset".
5. How can you practice and improve your emotional self-awareness?
Look at how I show up in situations by being objective and honest about what I do. Determine if my behavior brings peace. If it does not, work on releasing that behavior and replacing it with a habit that will bring peace.
Week 5 Challenge
1. In your planner, plan out how next month (February) will go. How will you make time for your hobbies and goals? What days will you do hobbies and goals? Distance yourself from toxic personalities? Establish healthy boundaries? Walk away from arguments.-Done
I have already been scheduling time for hobbies and goals. I normally look on facebook events for things that I want to do in the community. Every week I write down what I want to do for the week and check it off when it is done. Sometimes unexpected things happen and change it to another day. I thankfully am not around toxic personalities on a daily basis anymore.
2. What are some ways to polish your femininity EVERYDAY? What will you do? What are your feminine hobbies, dreams, and aspirations.
Allow my intuition to guide me no matter what. Make time for baths. Take a bath at least once a week. Wear soft free flowing clothing when I am at home. I wear only dresses and skirts now so that helps a lot.
I love to prepare raw vegan dishes. I like studying astrology and numerology. It requires using your intuition for readings. I would also like to become a doula.
3. What is your drama blocking plan? Write it out.
Listen to understand. Don't take assumptions. Don't take anything personally. Express myself using I feel....If I recognize I am becoming upset/argumentative, then ask if I can have a moment and come back to conversation when ready. Make sure my tone is gentle and release the need to be critical. Offer constructive criticism with love if necessary. Use the affirmation Be Peace when I need to calm down.
4. How could you only be mad for 5 minutes and not let arguments RULE your entire day.
Acknowledge my feelings and not ignore it. Determine the real underlying upset. If it involves another set time aside when I am not angry to express how I feel. Reframe my observation of the situation to see the value of this "upset".
5. How can you practice and improve your emotional self-awareness?
Look at how I show up in situations by being objective and honest about what I do. Determine if my behavior brings peace. If it does not, work on releasing that behavior and replacing it with a habit that will bring peace.
snoop
Well-Known Member
Participants -
@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@almond eyes
@tinkat
@Chicoro
Week 13: Communicating in LOVE
Adapted from: https://the20minuteguide.com/partners/helping-with-words/communicating-love-listening/
LOVE is four verbs: Listening, Offering, Validating, and Empathizing
Listening
Take your time. Even if you ARE rushed for time, take the time to slow down. Ask open ended questions related to what your child, spouse, signficiant other, coworker, family/friends are saying. Example: Tell me what did you like most about your day?
Offering
If there is a problem use the sandwich technique.
Refrain from giving unsolicited advice but be open to help within your boundaries.
Validating
Empathizing
This involves truly feeling “where the other person is coming from"
Use your feelings statements to convey that you understand the situation and point of view
Week 13 Challenge
1. Make time to practice your ability to communicate with love. Make time to see things with fresh eyes and be excited about each and every moment you spend with your loved ones. Seeing things with fresh eyes, take the time to slow down, be very present, and offer LOVE to everyone you meet while remaining open, receptive, flowy, and sweet on the outside (strong on the inside in your boundaries)
2. How could you increase your A behaviors to your loved ones? (Appreciation, Admiration, and Affirmation)
3. How could you increase the emotional safety of your loved ones?
@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@almond eyes
@tinkat
@Chicoro
Week 13: Communicating in LOVE
Adapted from: https://the20minuteguide.com/partners/helping-with-words/communicating-love-listening/
LOVE is four verbs: Listening, Offering, Validating, and Empathizing
Listening
Take your time. Even if you ARE rushed for time, take the time to slow down. Ask open ended questions related to what your child, spouse, signficiant other, coworker, family/friends are saying. Example: Tell me what did you like most about your day?
Offering
If there is a problem use the sandwich technique.
Refrain from giving unsolicited advice but be open to help within your boundaries.
Validating
- This means acknowledging another person’s experience without needing to qualify it in any way.
- This means making them feel accepted even if you don't fully agree with their viewpoints.
- This includes not criticizing, controlling, or unnecessarily correcting them.
Empathizing
This involves truly feeling “where the other person is coming from"
Use your feelings statements to convey that you understand the situation and point of view
- “wow, that seems like it would feel really nerve-wracking”
- “that would have made me feel upset too”
- "I can feel your happiness coming through the phone"
Week 13 Challenge
1. Make time to practice your ability to communicate with love. Make time to see things with fresh eyes and be excited about each and every moment you spend with your loved ones. Seeing things with fresh eyes, take the time to slow down, be very present, and offer LOVE to everyone you meet while remaining open, receptive, flowy, and sweet on the outside (strong on the inside in your boundaries)
2. How could you increase your A behaviors to your loved ones? (Appreciation, Admiration, and Affirmation)
3. How could you increase the emotional safety of your loved ones?
snoop
Well-Known Member
Change Your Vibe and Become A High Value Woman
- Challenge+Investment+ Self-love = High value
- Stay physically fione. How? Make time for you EVERYDAY. Make it intentional.
- She doesn't give in so easily or even quickly. Make him work for EVERY little thing you give him (your time, your dates, your presence, your phone calls, your hand in marriage).
- Only accept the BEST from him.
- Make him court you with consistent dates. She understands that if he's not dating you, he's not showing you off. And if he is not showing you off, he doesn't like you THAT MUCH.
- Make him stay consistent in his investments without nagging about it...LEAVE. Accept or Reject.
- Inspire him to pursue, protect (physically, publicly, and emotionally), provide, and please you
- Stay physically fione. How? Make time for you EVERYDAY. Make it intentional.
- Learn to say NO without guilt. If he can’t date you? NO you don’t get to do this. Goodbye. Block History Month.
- You deserve to save your deep conversations for real dates. You don't mindlessly stay on the phone. You have a life.
- It all starts mentally. A high value woman believes you are the air he needs to breathe, the passion that fires his soul, the peace that covers his heart, and the playfulness that lights him up. YOU ARE THE PRIZE and you act accordingly.
- She spends time with like minded women that will activate her femininity.
- She refrains from being over giving, overfunctioning, chasing, begging, trying to please, being too accommodating, acting too nice, going for low value men.
- She understands being single and happy is better than being in a relationship and miserable.
- She leads with her femininity. She controls her mouth. Control what comes out of your mouth. Even in the most delicate of situations you know how to say it femininely and not tell men what to say. Instead you ask.
- Don’t self-sabotage.
- Stay in the present. Don’t dwell in the past or future. Just now. (Oh I don’t want to talk about that. I just want to focus on right now.)
- Don’t be attention seeking and needy. He doesn't owe you a phone call everyday even if he should Stay in observation mode. Have your own fulfilling life. Don't be clingy if he doesn't call, instead fill up your calendar with other things to do.
- Get in touch with how you feel. Use a lot of feeling messages to lead verbally with your femininity.
- You create tension through distance/space, warmth/softness (dripping honey), and boundaries.
- She graciously receives from a man. She receives more than she gives. She doesn't try to OUTDO his giving, because she realizes that he LIKES to give to her. And the more he invests in her the MORE he loves her.
- She knows and acts like she is the prize.
- You put your needs first and can say NO without guilt or explanation. NO means NO.
- You learn how to not tolerate bad behavior, disrespect or his sexual frustrations.
- You can genuinely receive and not say, “Oh no; it’s alright” or always accept the convenient answer. when he says, “Thank you for an amazing night” don’t say “You too.” Stay in your feminine. Stay receiving. “My pleasure honey!” is your default. You protect yourself with your boundaries when he expects more.
- Be a woman he can’t afford to lose BUT be easy to lose! You’re easy to lose. He messes up...you’re NOT afraid to leave him. There are PLENTY of fish in the sea. You will leave a man that disrespects or mistreats her.
- She enforces her standards and boundaries.
- She doesn’t get pressured into giving up sex for the fear of being alone, rejected, or etc.
- Doesn’t give girlfriend/wife benefits without the title and until her needs are met.
- Expects courtship and dates. Will not let a man who doesn’t value her or add value to her enter her life. She KNOWS that women experience sex in a more emotional way so she requires emotional insurance though dates, gifts, and favors.
- She doesn’t get pressured into giving up sex for the fear of being alone, rejected, or etc.
- Leans back so far that you’re lying down when he’s stupid.
- A high value woman doesn’t cling to people or experiences. She can leave those that are not for the best of her. She is STRATEGICALLY SELFISH.
- She doesn’t commit to a guy who hasn’t committed to her. She doesn’t take on a girlfriend role. She doesn’t want a guy who does not want her. She is turned off by wishy-washy guys.
- She has a happy, self-confident, emotionally healthy energy. She VERY INFREQUENTLY appears to be unhappy or unlucky.
- She ALWAYS has other options.
- She is a truly empowered woman, who knows herself, knows what she wants, and never settles for any less than she deserves. She has a list of what she wants and she REJECTS EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT THAT. She doesn't start acting masculine when he doesn't give her what she wants. She doesn't convince him. She is ALWAYS prepared to walk away gracefully.
- She is NEVER clingy. The opposite of easy to lose is clingy.
- She NEVER tries to fix or change a man. She STAYS in observation mode. She accepts him or rejects him. (You cant change ANYTHING on a man other than his diaper).
- Focusing and worrying about the future destroys what you have in the present. She stays in the PRESENT. She doesn't focus on who he USED to be or his POTENTIAL. She ONLY loves what she's getting RIGHT NOW.
- She knows how to be present, laugh, connect with joy, and have FUN. She is very jovial, playful, and appropriately silly.
- A high-value woman also loves her life as it is. She sees love everywhere and welcomes love from everywhere and that love adds to her value further. She sees the glass half-full, instead of half-empty. She's not desperate by any means."
- A high-value woman knows how to seduce a man with her feminine mystique.
- She is the Upgrade. She is the Prize. Her presence is highly valuable because:
- What guy doesn't love the ever-positive energy she projects to the world?
- What guy can shun such a powerful feminine presence and radiance?
- What guy can resist a seductive woman whose only power is her feminine presence?
- What guy doesn't love the ever-positive energy she projects to the world?
- She has power and self-confidence. He is free to leave anytime to pursue his happiness. She cares about his happiness, but she doesn’t NEED him to be happy. SHE makes herself happy.
- She is easy to lose. He feels like a hero to her but if he snoozes he feels he will lose.
- She has her own life. She can leave and do her own things in her own space. She enjoys her me time and creates beautiful things separate from her relationships.
- She doesn’t try to change him. She accepts him or rejects him.
- She is warm, affectionate, loving, but FIRM in her boundaries.
- Have a high degree of difficulty. You have strong boundaries. You can easily leave but hard to forget. She doesn’t care about being easy for a man… she’s on a personal mission to be difficult. In fact, she’s damn near impossible unless she’s getting everything she wants, before, not after, she lets a man become intimate with her. A woman with a High Degree of Difficulty doesn't need a man. She likes a man, but she doesn't need him. And she won't chase him, either.
- She values her time and doesn’t let others waste it. (No last minute dates, no netflix and chill dates, no pre-dates.)
- She does not lead with her career or degrees even if she has them. It's WAY more that she is aside from her career. Her TRUE power is in her femininity not all her accomplishments. She let's him be the man and lead and doesn't have to compete with him even though she's pretty darn impressive.
- She is very present. She just enjoys life at the given moment. (She is involved in many hobbies. She’s not always in her phone.)
- She knows she has choices when it comes to men. She’s not afraid to leave because she knows someone else is out there.
- She has clear boundaries and knows how she will and will not be treated.
- The only thing making him feel like he can treat you however he wants and you’ll stick around anyway, is you and your own misguided feeling of loyalty and commitment to him.
- She has a change of attitude, which will often be the key to transforming the entire relationship. It means you give yourself permission to entertain other possibilities.
- The only thing making him feel like he can treat you however he wants and you’ll stick around anyway, is you and your own misguided feeling of loyalty and commitment to him.
Sosoothing
Well-Known Member
I still struggle with communicating my displeasure in a calm manner. I don't yell but I have a strong tone when I'm not happy .
.
Chicoro
5 Year Shea Anniversary: Started Dec 16th, 2016!
Very good
I'm out here in The Netherlands, came to celebrate my goddaughter's birthday. All of this will pass and then I would've regretted not being there for her 8th birthday. Took some beautiful pics:
View attachment 456595 View attachment 456597
We're sheltering them as much as possible but these schools won't let us be great. Apparently, they make them watch videos about it all day, errday * rolls eyes *. Yesterday, my sister took them swimming. They were one of two families that actually showed up
Earlier this week I went back to cooking, even though I don't own a proper oven just yet:
View attachment 456601 View attachment 456603 View attachment 456599
Out here chilling with my fam, who actually lived through the civil war in Angola. So they know how to put things in perspective
Mmmm! What is this? Potatoes, cream and cheese?
Chicoro
5 Year Shea Anniversary: Started Dec 16th, 2016!
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
This was a hard one to read, but so very poignant and heartfelt. Very well written and thought provoking. Thank you @PrissiSippi for the transparency and for sharing.
Week 12 Challenge
1. Take the time this week to be very present. How do you feel? What did you do?
2. Continue to focus on not rushing. Take your time. Look at life like this was your first day seeing it. Notice the beauty in flowers. Notice how your children smile so innocently when exposed to new things. Take in your friends' excitement over seeing/spending time with you. Slow down. Focus on one thing at a time. Take in the beauty all around you. Be present.
3. What/Who could you look at with fresh eyes?
I texted my ex-husband in the United States as he supports some of his family members, some of whom travel to other states and outside the country. I wanted to ensure that if they were not with him, they were at least safe. During the texting he asked me a second time if I had a water filter. I told him no and continued texting information about his family, which was my purpose for initiating the text to him in the first place.
In the midst of the texting he said, "The purifier should be their shortly. I ordered and it will be there as soon as the 23rd (of March)".
My response was, "What purifier? Sent where? To whom?"
He simply texted back, "To you."
It arrived just like he stated, yesterday on the 23rd. I thanked him when I received both when he told me ordered it and when I received it.
So, that was definitely a moment when I looked at him with fresh eyes.
Chicoro
5 Year Shea Anniversary: Started Dec 16th, 2016!
Checking in to see how everyone is doing. I'm assuming that most of us, if not all of us are probably practicing social distancing.
Over here, in Ontario, the elementary school children are on March Break as of Monday. As of yesterday, the province is in a state of emergency to the end of the month I know a lot of people are in a panic, but I thought that this time of isolation is a great time to just slow down, relax, and recharge. For the past 5 years, I've been a SAHM and I've never really felt comfortable in the role. It's not something that I'd been inspired to be. That is, until recently.
I realize that these past few years has been training me for this moment. In context, I realize how integral my role as "mom" and "wife" to keep the family calm and cared for.
First, I created a self care list for myself. I tried to get through it all on Monday, with the caveat that I wasn't going to force my way through the list. I got about half of the items. I didn't beat myself up about it. Instead, I was grateful for taking the time to just slow down and care for myself. I can always do the rest on another day.
While, this is going on, I've realized that I have three weeks to "relax". There's no school. No work (at least for one week since DH is on holiday). No extra curricular activities. No dinner dates. No commitments. How often will I have this chance to sit back and enjoy life? Enjoy my family? Even when we go on vacation, we're on-and-gone. This so far, has been my time for family.
At the beginning of the year, I created a meal plan for the first quarter of the year. Some of the meals are freezable (like soups and chili). I make a batch and divide it into two, if not three portions. This has been helpful for the past two weeks because I didn't have to spend time cooking dinner. I could just thaw the meal in the morning and then heat it on the stove in the evening.
I've been following a daily schedule with the babies, but the schedule allows me to wake up late and stay in bed for a couple of hours if I choose before starting my day -- breakfast, homework, crafts, then nap time/quiet time, walks, free time, meals, movies, and baths. I don't feel rushed and we're all having fun. Today, DH even set up an escape room for the kids that he'd been working on that rivaled any of the pro rooms that we've been to. We all had so much fun.
My ability to plan and plan ahead has helped us to just seamlessly move into this new state of being without too much stress and anxiety. I've witnessed that having an organized home is keeping things balanced fun. I still have to work on polishing my appearance while being at home, but elevating my energy levels is serving us all well.
Stay safe, ladies and don't let what's going on outside (of your doors) affect the beautiful environments you've created in your homes and in your hearts.
This needs to be in a book. Wow! In fact, you could expand just what you wrote here into an entire book.
Chicoro
5 Year Shea Anniversary: Started Dec 16th, 2016!
Week 13: Communicating in LOVE
Week 13 Challenge
1. Make time to practice your ability to communicate with love. Make time to see things with fresh eyes and be excited about each and every moment you spend with your loved ones. Seeing things with fresh eyes, take the time to slow down, be very present, and offer LOVE to everyone you meet while remaining open, receptive, flowy, and sweet on the outside (strong on the inside in your boundaries)
2. How could you increase your A behaviors to your loved ones? (Appreciation, Admiration, and Affirmation)
3. How could you increase the emotional safety of your loved ones?[/QUOTE]
My mother has been upsetting me lately. Then, I realized that I'm the one upsetting myself acting a fool. I finally identified and named the issue. My mother is in every high risk category for this virus. I can do nothing for her over here in France.
Once I named and identified my fear, I was able to take a step back. My sister lives only five (5) minutes away by car, from my mother. She takes very good care of my mother's needs. My mother is safely ensconced in an apartment that is spacious, full of light and comfortable that provides above and beyond what her needs are. She has plenty of food and has several months supply of her medicines.
So, first I had to apply some of that love to myself. Since I've started doing that, I have reigned in my behavior and focused on my mother's needs and concerns and not just my own.
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