2020 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

I have some interest in this challenge. But I have no clear understanding of what femininity is and where I currently stand in the femininity spectrum. I don't even know what I want to achieve by increasing my femininity.
The only aspect that I have a little bit of a grasp of is the selfishness aspect. I might want to learn to become more selfish. I'm not sure I'm convinced that selfish is good. But I just want to try something new and see what it will be like, and whether it will have any advantages. Like for example in my next romantic relationship I'd like to give far less on all aspects including emotional (kindness, tenderness, support, praise, sweet words etc,) financial and physical (intimacy) and just see where that would lead and how things would unfold.
 
snoop said:
The year has already started, so I will be posting the first three weeks in succession.





Week 1- Mindset Mastery

Keep in mind, this process to femininity definitely takes some effort! What we will work towards is identifying our habitual masculine behaviors and commit to changing them to more feminine behaviors and thoughts. It important to understand that masculine energy cannot be destroyed but it can be transmuted into more feminine ones. At first, this may feel like faking it until you make it. This is why inner work is needed. The more you’re able "fake it", the more your subconscious will work with you toward your goal of becoming more feminine, and it will become a more authentic worldview of yours. This is called mindset mastery. There are many steps towards this mindset mastery.

Think Positive
- You're going to have to physically SAY affirmations to get it in our head that you already have everything you need to be successful. Otherwise you are just faking it until you make it (which is fine in the beginning but we're trying to seek to be authentic with it as well).
- This may include saying affirmations/affirmations, mirror work, shadow work, doing something from your polishing your femininity list, scripting, tapping, doing guided meditations, journaling, or having your accountability partner encourage you. They key is to stay at it.

Raise Your Standards
Look at some key areas of your life and see what do you REALLY want to change as it relates to being feminine.
Now how could you change your shoulds to musts?
Example: I should wear dresses to dress more feminine -> I MUST wear dresses more often to dress more feminine.
Example: I should take up some hobbies to fill up my cup --> I MUST take up hobbies to fill up my cup.

Create Good Baby Habits
Small habits as the basic building blocks to reaching your goals. What small baby step goals will get you close to your overall feminine goals?
Example: I will wear dresses every Monday.
Example: I will use Saturday mornings to do my hobbies.

Flip your Limiting Beliefs

  • Your emotional patterns control your life. They begin to shape how you see life.
  • Make your reframed belief into your NEW affirmations.
Example: I'm too fat to wear dresses. I will wear them when I lose weight. --> I am beautiful just the way I am and I feel feminine and free in dresses
Example: I'm too busy to do hobbies --> My hobbies make me free more fulfilled and feminine.

Make your SMART goals
Now is the time to make a PLAN to be a divinely feminine woman over the course of a year. Take the time to decide what this looks like to you. Please make a list of 3-4 measurable SMART goals. (I realize some femininity goals are not measurable. This is okay, but be creative and put a number to goals if you can.)

Some examples would include:

  • I plan to wear dresses 3 days out of each week. (3 x 52 weeks is 156 for the entire year) or
  • I intend to cook from scratch for my family 2 times each week. (2x52 is 104 times)
  • To look better in my dress and get to Trophy Wife status I plan to lose 5 pounds every 2 months (30 pounds for the year)

By making measurable SMART goals, we ensure success by creating goals that are Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.



Week 1 Challenge
1. Find an accountability partner. It’s a good idea to have someone to check in with on a weekly basis to help you with your feminine words, your feminine actions and staying in your feelings rather than your thoughts. Begin thinking about who would be the best person to keep you grounded.
2. Buy a planner
3. What SMART feminine goals do you have?
4. What mini goals will help you accomplish these goals?
5. How will you keep your vibe HIGH each day?




Recap
Week 1: Master Your Mindset/ Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner.​
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This is what I overlooked! Thanks to @ckisland and her great example and post, I see the entry point and starting task of the challenge. Yes, it is clearly marked as #1 Week but I got a little lost. I'll work on these goals to orient myself. Then, I'll be back!
 
Alma Petra said:
I have some interest in this challenge. But I have no clear understanding of what femininity is and where I currently stand in the femininity spectrum. I don't even know what I want to achieve by increasing my femininity.
The only aspect that I have a little bit of a grasp of is the selfishness aspect. I might want to learn to become more selfish. I'm not sure I'm convinced that selfish is good. But I just want to try something new and see what it will be like, and whether it will have any advantages. Like for example in my next romantic relationship I'd like to give far less on all aspects including emotional (kindness, tenderness, support, praise, sweet words etc,) financial and physical (intimacy) and just see where that would lead and how things would unfold.
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Welcome to the challenge. I can shed a bit of light into my experience with this challenge.

This is my third year doing this challenge. Over the years I've learned that some things resonate with me immediately and that other things never will. But that's ok.

I've split my femininity journey into three areas if growth: The first is physical appearance. I don't believe that you have to wear dresses or lots of makeup to be feminine or to give off a feminine vibe. These things can add, but they still have to be done right. I don't wear dresses daily -- out doesn't fit into my SAHM lifestyle, especially when the weather hits -18C. Same for wearing (full) makeup each day. Again, that's ok.

The second area is attitude (speech, posture, etc.), which a lot of this challenge focuses on. There are "feminine" behaviours outlined in the challenges, but I find that a lot of it isn't feminine and comes down to the 3 C's that I was taught in elementary school: Caring, courtesy, and cooperation. I expect my husband to employ these not because I want him to be "feminine", but because he is too be a good citizen within our home. (Same for my male and female children.) I've seen some of Ro's teachings and I don't agree with some of them. For me, that's ok.

The final area is in the spiritual area which I am learning to practice receptivity and gratitude (for example). Again, these are "feminine" traits that I think that both males and females can benefit from. If the males in my life want to practice the to manifest their desires, this is ok.


As for learning to become more selfish, I understand what you're saying. This is a recurring theme here, but they term it "protecting your peace" which I find to run along the lines of self care and self preservation in more extreme circumstances. For me, selfishness tends to occur at the expense of others, but in a negative way whereas protecting your peace can be used to make sure you aren't being taking advantage of. For example, you are with a friend and you're eating a bag of chips and you know that they'd like some. Not sharing for the sake of not sharing is selfish. If they are the type to always depend on you to share, but never share with you when they have something...well, that would be protecting your peace.





Maybe other participants can provide some insight into what femininity means to them and/or what they hope to get from this challenge.
 
snoop said:
I don't think that I've said this before, but your ability to capture your accomplishments via photography is stunning and inspirational!

I love this photo of you twirling in your skirt! It's so fun and carefree! I've been watching your transformation and you are glowing in all of your photos! Keep it up!
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Thank you @snoop this went straight to my heart and will put how I outline my future professional life into perspective :cloud9:.
 
related to the block challenge
I’m struggling with relationships. I was reflecting and I realized all my aunts do is talk crap about my siblings when I call them... I want to talk to them, but I don’t want to spend two hours talking about what my sibling has done wrong lately. One of the aunts is pretty old, 70, and I don’t want to regret not calling her more but I feel really anxious every time I think about calling. I don’t know...
 
Brwnbeauti said:
related to the block challenge
I’m struggling with relationships. I was reflecting and I realized all my aunts do is talk crap about my siblings when I call them... I want to talk to them, but I don’t want to spend two hours talking about what my sibling has done wrong lately. One of the aunts is pretty old, 70, and I don’t want to regret not calling her more but I feel really anxious every time I think about calling. I don’t know...
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I just mentioned this to a friend last week. My dad had only sisters, and all but one are now deceased. So, I try to be sure to connect with her by phone every few weeks, but the conversations are so negative now.

We have a bit of dysfunction in our family, but I want to talk about more than that.
 
Week 1 Challenge
1. Find an accountability partner.
2. Buy a planner
3. What SMART feminine goals do you have?
  • Stay at my goal weight and tone and tighten my body.
  • Be elegant and polished.
  • Look edible and soft.
  • Smell delicious.
  • Be soft spoken and gracious in my one on one conversations and when I am going about my day.
  • Give people my full attention and never turn away from their face when I am in conversation with them, no matter who or what passes by or comes into the space.
  • Keep my apartment sparkling clean.
  • Attract my ideal partner.
4. What mini goals will help you accomplish these goals?
  • Create a schedule!
  • Work out 5 to 6 times per week using:
    • Callanetics
    • Lotte Berk
    • Weights for my upper body
    • Running about 1x per week.
    • Do my face exercises.
  • Continue with Keto and Intermittent Fasting
  • Wear my waist trainer
  • Be present in the moment and listen to people as if they are a Master, speaking their last words.
  • Pick up my clothes off the floor!!!!
  • Prepare my clothes the night before.
  • Use my cards to clean my apartment a little bit every day.
  • Attend one Social Event per month.
5. How will you keep your vibe HIGH each day?
  • Start my day with meditation.
  • Avoid sugar and candy and eat whole food.
  • Stay hydrated.

My apartment is a mess. The evening that my home was robbed on October 1st 2019, I remember being excited to go home to my clean, and recently, neatly arranged apartment. I remember saying that it was like a sanctuary!As I was about to leave the store, I got the message about the robbery that had happened that day. I see that I have allowed someone to steal my peace. Since that time, I have not kept my place in order. I am the one who is losing, not the robber. Since that day, I have been somewhat afraid and uncomfortable. I do not feel as safe like I did before. But, I see that this is not helping me. Being disorganized is not helping me move forward with my goals, either.

Here's the flip/positive side. I had to go down to the police station about 3 times. The police are SICK and TIRED of people. They have ZERO patience. And I noticed that when I had a certain tone and demeanor, they all responded positively to me. Because of the robbery incident, I clearly understand what kind of tone and approach tends to soothe a person instead of grate on their nerves. I was not fake or pretentious. I just made conscious decision to do things differently, to meet and navigate the situation.

I spoke in a quieter tone, softly and slowly. I smiled when I spoke and genuinely listened to the policemen, allowed them to engage me in conversation,when they talked to me and inquired about the United States. After I answered their questions and listened to their comments about the US, they would quickly cut to the chase and explain EXACTLY what I needed to do to resolve my issue, or get to the next step. I made the changes in tone and demeanor because they BARK at you and are so curt when you first go into the police station. They were under duress, and strung tight. Both the ones that barked at me initially, became so sweet and helpful because I spoke softly and had the aforementioned demeanor. So, I interacted with them in a way to not SET THEM OFF! They were telling off folks left and right. It was rough. But, that robbery turned out to be a blessing in disguise in so many ways, including moving me more to becoming more feminine. Or, at least having a concrete idea about HOW I can continue to become more feminine.

Lastly, I have to remind myself that NOBODY is that important for me to waste my energy on and/or to allow them to upset me. I never benefit when I get upset. I always end up looking bad and feeling bad.

Now, I feel I am solidly on track with this challenge!
 
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Chicoro said:
Week 1 Challenge

My apartment is a mess. The evening that my home was robbed on October 1st 2019, I remember being excited to go home to my clean, and recently, neatly arranged apartment. I remember saying that it was like a sanctuary!As I was about to leave the store, I got the message about the robbery that had happened that day. I see that I have allowed someone to steal my peace. Since that time, I have not kept my place in order. I am the one who is losing, not the robber. Since that day, I have been somewhat afraid and uncomfortable. I do not feel as safe like I did before. But, I see that this is not helping me. Being disorganized is not helping me move forward with my goals, either.

Here's the flip/positive side. I had to go down to the police station about 3 times. The police are SICK and TIRED of people. They have ZERO patience. And I noticed that when I had a certain tone and demeanor, they all responded positively to me. Because of the robbery incident, I clearly understand what kind of tone and approach tends to soothe a person instead of grate on their nerves. I was not fake or pretentious. I just made conscious decision to do things differently, to meet and navigate the situation.

I spoke in a quieter tone, softly and slowly. I smiled when I spoke and genuinely listened to the policemen, allowed them to engage me in conversation,when they talked to me and inquired about the United States. After I answered their questions and listened to their comments about the US, they would quickly cut to the chase and explain EXACTLY what I needed to do to resolve my issue, or get to the next step. I made the changes in tone and demeanor because they BARK at you and are so curt when you first go into the police station. They were under duress, and strung tight. Both the ones that barked at me initially, became so sweet and helpful because I spoke softly and had the aforementioned demeanor. So, I interacted with them in a way to not SET THEM OFF! They were telling off folks left and right. It was rough. But, that robbery turned out to be a blessing in disguise in so many ways, including moving me more to becoming more feminine. Or, at least having a concrete idea about HOW I can continue to become more feminine.

Lastly, I have to remind myself that NOBODY is that important for me to waste my energy on and/or to allow them to upset me. I never benefit when I get upset. I always end up looking bad and feeling bad.

Now, I feel I am solidly on track with this challenge!
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Whenever I read your accounts of the robbery, you always have something positive to add to the story. Not just positive. Insightful about the human condition.

It's amazing how positively people in service can respond to a pleasant smile and light, but honest conversation. I think it's because a lot of us take these people for granted and display this in our demeanor when we engage them. I think you were spot on in tapping into their desire to be seen as people. Who work at a highly demanding job. Under a lot of stress. In need of a break. Or someone intelligent to talk to for a few minutes. :drunk: Looking back at the chart in the first post, I would say that you were tapping into "understanding" and "sensitivity" feminine energies. Now we know, based on your interaction, that this can be used to de-escalate a potentially stressful interaction.
 
ckisland said:
I'm having brunch tomorrow with J. I'm going to use this time to practice my femininity! I plan on wearing a green sweater dress and tan boots. I may even take pics to post!
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How did your brunch go? Were you able to put your feminine energy to work?
 
Have any of you watched the series Modern Love? Episode 5 -- At the Hospital, an Interlude of Clarity, has the female character explaining why when she and her date were out, she was receiving so much attention from the men around her. When she was younger, she and her friend developed a game where they would try to see how many men they could get to smile at them. Her strategy was to make eye contact and smile at them.

Unfortunately, I can't find a clip, but she does this coy, make eye contact --> smile --> quickly look away thing while holding the smile. It's been done in a million movies and you might have even done it yourself. But have you done it lately?

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Making eye contact with a genuine smile (or one that appears to be) softens men and women, alike. Do you want to get a man to notice you? Make it flirty. How about making headway with a new female acquaintance? Make if friendly. Need a child to stop and listen? Make it maternal.

Have you ever wondered why being around children who smile frequently makes you smile more often? Two studies from 2002 and 2011 at Uppsala University in Sweden confirmed that other people’s smiles actually suppress the control we usually have over our facial muscles, compelling us to smile. They also showed that it’s very difficult to frown when looking at someone who smiles. (Source: Here)
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And

  • When you smile, you look good and feel good.
  • When others see you smile, they smile too.
  • When others smile, they look good and feel good, too.
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As a mini challenge, let's try increasing the amount of times per day that we smile. Let's see if we can increase the amount of positive interactions we have with people, through smiling. We can report back throughout the week.

Just remember: No Cheshire cat grins, please.

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snoop said:
How did your brunch go? Were you able to put your feminine energy to work?
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It went really well!! I ended up posting pics in the That Girl Challenge. He was so cute and thought of a place to take me that he had never been before. He remembered how into anime I was (still am LOL!) when we were in high school, so he found a specialty ramen shop to take me to. He kept a deck of cards with him so that we could play I Declare War like we used to. It was so nostalgic and sweet. I would do the what you mentioned @snoop . I'd look into his eyes, smile and look away. He would get this soft look on his face and say Ms. ckisland, Ms. ckisland really softly. I felt very feminine and let him keep up the conversation. I wasn't thinking about the future and was very much in the moment. I'm excited to go on dates with my SP and get even more comfortable with my femininity.

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2020 will be my year of leveling up and extreme self-care - meaning more than just my physical appearance but also my growth, love, creativity, relationships, wealth, career, health and happiness.

1. Accountability Partner ( anyone interested???)
2. I have a self-care planner where I'm tracking my hair, fitness, vitamins, sick calendar, etc...
3. 2020 Femininity Goals:
*Be a happy, gracious, charmed woman, wife, mother, sister, and friend
*Enjoy my natural hair as it grows out to luscious lengths
* Maintain a lovely, comfortable home to create beautiful family experiences
* Connect with my family and friends regularly and in meaningful ways
* Lose weight to reach target size
*Pare down my belongings including creating a capsule wardrobe, using up what I have, and no-buy/low-buy spending
4. Mini Goals/ Daily Activities for increased femininity:
*Pre-plan and write weekly activities in journal
*Meal planning for new dinner options
*Pare down and organize clothes into one closet (versus the current two),
*Entertain at home every other month ( at least 6 times per year)
* IF and keto for weight loss
*TBD
5. Keeping my vibe high daily:
*Make beds daily (spray with lavender oil mid-week)
*Reread and practice habits in The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod
*Cross off at least one item on my weekly to-do list in journal
*Sleep at least 7 hours - I have a baby, so this is something I used to take for granted:)
* T BD
 
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ckisland said:
It went really well!! I ended up posting pics in the That Girl Challenge. He was so cute and thought of a place to take me that he had never been before. He remembered how into anime I was (still am LOL!) when we were in high school, so he found a specialty ramen shop to take me to. He kept a deck of cards with him so that we could play I Declare War like we used to. It was so nostalgic and sweet. I would do the what you mentioned @snoop . I'd look into his eyes, smile and look away. He would get this soft look on his face and say Ms. ckisland, Ms. ckisland really softly. I felt very feminine and let him keep up the conversation. I wasn't thinking about the future and was very much in the moment. I'm excited to go on dates with my SP and get even more comfortable with my femininity.

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Ooh! It sounds like you had him eating out of the palm of your hand! The soft looks, letting him hold the conversation, even the way you speak fondly of the date now... these are things that help elevate your feminine energy. It's very tender and it comes through in your photo.

You are glowing! :rose:
 
@CurliDiva We're here with you :yep:

@Chicoro I hear ya. Everything was going great, my landlord noticed it and decided to ruin my plans. So now that I have to move within a month, my home is a complete disaster. So much so that I have ceased to cook, something that had become a creative outlet for me in the past decade. There are boxes all over and the place that I have called home for the past decade, feels so foreign to me now. Trying to not let it get to me, but it's difficult as I am a homebody. I'm finding myself spending more time at diners and stuff * lesigh * .

Surprisingly though, I am eerily calm about the whole situation. It just feels...uncomfortable.

In other news, since I am unable to cook at the moment, due to packing everything up. I have been working on my other creative outlets: style & hair :D. ==>

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Currently very happy with what I've achieved with my body, after nixing most junk food a decade ago. Just need to work on my tummy. Will be 35 this year and the not so subtle negative comments about my marital status have been flying in. I know it's just to deteriorate me from my goals, so I usually just ignore them. But they are still hurtful nonetheless.

For Valentine's Day, I asked my supervisor to grant me 3 hours off during lunch. She agreed...with much reluctance :lol:. But she agreed and that's what's most important. There's a fine dining restaurant nearby my workplace, that I have been dying to try out. Wanted to do it last year for my birthday, but I overshared and it never came to pass. Not sure what I will do during those 3 hours, probably just sit there and write down some of my goals for the next decade or so. I now realize how fast it goes by and that time is promised to none of us.

Have also decided to become my own best friend. Have been looking for one since I was a little girl and never really had one. A few days ago I just heard God's voice telling me to be my own best friend. So that's that.
 
Before we move on from our Block History Month challenge, I have something for us to think about:

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. I first heard this in reference to money (your wealth is reflective of the five people that you spend the most time with), but it was eye opening for me when I heard it in this context. Lately, I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

If birds of a feather flock together, ask yourself these questions: Who do you welcome into your energy field? Who do you allow to motivate and influence you? Who do you want to become? Who do you admire?

Do they reflect the elevated version of you that you are creating?

Now let’s take this one step further.

According to their results, if a friend of yours becomes obese, you yourself are 45 percent more likely than chance to gain weight over the next two to four years. More surprisingly, however, Christakis and Fowler found that if a friend of your friend becomes obese, your likelihood of gaining weight increases by about 20 percent — even if you don’t know that friend of a friend. The effect continues one more person out. If a friend of the friend of your friend develops obesity, you are still 10 percent more likely than random chance to gain weight as well.

Your friends make you fat, but so do their friends, and so do their friends of friends.

Read more here
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When you are thinking about your five, consider what sort of people those people allow to influence them. Does your five – and their five – have a positive or negative impact on your life?
 
Participants -
@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@almond eyes




Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential

"You can't always be the prettiest when you step into a room, but you can ALWAYS be the sweetest. With the best smile, the warmest gaze, the most gratitude, and the most pleasant attitude, a woman's poise is her gentle strength"​

Two weeks we touched on poise. Poise is how you present yourself in trying situations. Last week we touched on Block History Month. Blocking people out of your life that don't mean you well is apart of your drama blocking plan to keep balance and peace in your life.

Self-preservation, self-awareness, and STAYING CALM is key. This month we focus on love. Often time that means loving other people and not ourselves. However, loving ourselves is so very important for us to fully love others. Fill up your cup FIRST. Take care of yourself if you don't do anything else.

One way to take care of yourself is to PROTECT YOUR PEACE.

For women to preserve their greatest asset, their femininity, self preservation is key. Hardened women are not desirable. Argumentative women are unattractive. Loud, boisterous, yelling women are off-putting.

Strive to have poise but also seek wisdom during trying times....not masculination. The best way to do this mentally is to organize a drama blocking plan and make it deliberate.

You remember that planner we found in week 1? It's now time to use it. Pencil in time for YOU. Make it a deliberate practice to focus on you! Be selfish. Make boundaries. Distance yourself from people who do not love you. Stick to these boundaries.

Any of us have allowed our past to make us hardened. Maybe someone said something to you that made you feel undeserving of being feminine. Maybe a dysfunctional upbringing made you feel like you are not entitled to your femininity. Now is the time to be selfish. Why? Because only then can you spread the boundless gifts of your femininity to others and freely.

Think of your femininity as a garden. You could leave it unprotected. Let animals come in and trample all in it. You could expose it to the elements. You could forget to water it because you are checking on your neighbor's garden. This is not wise. Self-preservation will allow you to increase your level of consciousness.

With time it will increase your compassion, love, and feminine energy which will be evident to everyone you come in contact with. Analyze your life. Any people you need to let go of that disrupt your peace and/or femininity? Boundaries that you haven't made? You are the captain of your ship. Focus on you. Polish your femininity to preserve your self and make a plan to make sure it happens.

Protecting your peace often is ESSENTIAL when arguing (especially with the opposite sex). Have you ever started having a disagreement calmly then all of a sudden you start getting louder and louder and to the tune of this : Oh No You Didn't Boo Boo *insert claps between each word for a little more culture* :wacky: As it relates to protecting your peace...you need self-awareness. What triggers you in an argument and throws you off course? How can you avoid this or be self-aware to never let ANYONE take you there?

Tips for Protecting Your Peace and creating a Drama Blocking Plan
  • Note your triggers- What causes you to BLOW UP in arguments? Feeling like you're not heard? When others get loud with you? Not feeling appreciated? What makes you TICK!?
  • Watch your body-language - Non verbal body language says a lot. Rest chick face is NOT CUTE. Fix your face. Lol.
  • Have boundaries in arguments- If the argument is going nowhere....drop it and revisit at a later (calmer) time.
  • Admit your mistakes and learn to humbly apologize
  • When you feel yourself getting angry or argumentative, love on yourself more. Exercise, meditate, cook, plate food, garden, listen to music, do whatever your heart desires. Indulge in what makes you YOU...your hobbies.
  • Perception is Key - Recognize that anger IS natural. It is OKAY to feel anger. But don't let it consume you.
  • Have some ending phrases: I'm sorry you feel that way. What is your point?

Week 5 Challenge
1. In your planner, plan out how next month (February) will go. How will you make time for your hobbies and goals? What days will you do hobbies and goals? Distance yourself from toxic personalities? Establish healthy boundaries? Walk away from arguments.
2. What are some ways to polish your femininity EVERYDAY? What will you do? What are your feminine hobbies, dreams, and aspirations.
3. What is your drama blocking plan? Write it out.
4. How could you only be mad for 5 minutes and not let arguments RULE your entire day.
5. How can you practice and improve your emotional self-awareness?
 
Week 5 Challenge
1. In your planner, plan out how next month (February) will go. How will you make time for your hobbies and goals? What days will you do hobbies and goals? Distance yourself from toxic personalities? Establish healthy boundaries? Walk away from arguments.
I have the Happy Planner and I just love it, but I haven't been utilizing it. Instead of finding ways to fill up my day, I wake up late, go to work and then back to sleep. Doing things takes actually effort LOL! One of my hobbies is reading, and luckily I do read daily and I can read at work. My other hobbies are painting, writing and cooking, but I haven't made time for either of those. I'm going to use one morning on my day off for painting and/or writing. Things get too busy with my family (we live together) in the afternoon and evening to step away and I wouldn't want to. Cooking needs to happen because it will help with my financial and weight loss goals. I'll cook before work, and I'll reserve my off days to trying new recipes.

I don't have any toxic personalities that I need to avoid besides when my mom gets in her feelings. This used to happen a lot, but now it's very rare. With her, I need to leave things at "okay" or "that's how you see it/feel about it" and let the conversation drop if it starts heading in an argumentative direction.

2. What are some ways to polish your femininity EVERYDAY? What will you do? What are your feminine hobbies, dreams, and aspirations.
One way that I can polish my femininity is in how I present myself. Like today is not my best look. My hair looks like a rat's nest because I slept with it loose, so it's in a low ponytail. I have on a football hoodie, leggings and tennis shoes. I don't look homeless, but I don't look or feel put together. I will work on wearing more makeup, and making sure to add one element to my outfit that at least elevates it above being super casual. I smile often, but I want be conscious of glowing from the inside out.

Hobbies: Reading, writing (short stories and poetry), painting and cooking
Dreams/Aspirations: To become a teacher until my debt is paid off, then I intend of getting married and being a stay at home wife/mom.
 
Maracujá said:
@CurliDiva We're here with you :yep:

@Chicoro I hear ya. Everything was going great, my landlord noticed it and decided to ruin my plans. So now that I have to move within a month, my home is a complete disaster. So much so that I have ceased to cook, something that had become a creative outlet for me in the past decade. There are boxes all over and the place that I have called home for the past decade, feels so foreign to me now. Trying to not let it get to me, but it's difficult as I am a homebody. I'm finding myself spending more time at diners and stuff * lesigh * .

Surprisingly though, I am eerily calm about the whole situation. It just feels...uncomfortable.

In other news, since I am unable to cook at the moment, due to packing everything up. I have been working on my other creative outlets: style & hair :D. ==>

View attachment 455047View attachment 455049

View attachment 455051
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This colour looks amazing on you! I keep hearing Jill Scott's "Living My Life Like Its Golden" playing in my head when I see these pics.
 
Week 5 Challenge
1. In your planner, plan out how next month (February) will go. How will you make time for your hobbies and goals?
I plan to make time by actually scheduling it. In the past I have always said I I have time rather than just making time. I think it’s the same principle as paying yourself first with money, except I need to do this with my time.
What days will you do hobbies and goals?
I will allocate time first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening. I switched to a list making system rather than an hourly planner and it has really allowed me to focus on tasks rather than specific times.
Distance yourself from toxic personalities?
I am leaving my job. The entire place is toxic.
Establish healthy boundaries? Walk away from arguments.
I will be firm but kind in disengaging and walking away.
2. What are some ways to polish your femininity EVERYDAY? What will you do? I polish my femininity daily from the outside in. Wearing dresses everyday and keeping my nails done has helped me greatly. It isn’t really about how others receive it but more so that it is a reminder for me to slow down and not be a super hero. Those behaviors left me drained and resentful, the opposite of femininity.
What are your feminine hobbies, dreams, and aspirations.
I love to keep a beautiful home especially through floral arrangements, scent and listening to music. I aspire to be a full time homemaker.
3. What is your drama blocking plan? Write it out.
I am finding the best way to block the drama is to name it. Sometimes just making the other person aware can salvage the moment. Other times it makes sense to just walk away. You can say “Oh wow. The time went by so quickly. I’m sorry to just run out but I have to go do XYZ.” Lastly, there are some people that always have drama and so it makes sense to just avoid them.
4. How could you only be mad for 5 minutes and not let arguments RULE your entire day.
I get over my anger by realizing it most often stems from trying to convince someone else that I’m right. In the grand scheme of things me being right doesn’t matter as long as I get what I want/need and am happy. It’s a much better use of my time to figure that out rather than getting mad. People often stew when someone is asking more of them then they are capable of giving/doing or they’ve let someone into their circle who doesn’t belong. Fire your headaches.
5. How can you practice and improve your emotional self-awareness?
This requires slowing down. I notice that when I am not rushing I have time to experience and analyze my feelings before reacting. When I am scheduled down to the minute, I cannot do this. So the most important change I need to make is to free up time.
 
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For week 5, I have no issue staying away from drama and making time for me. So I will focus on #2. I will keep daily journal. My goal is:

"I can't always be the prettiest when I step into a room, but I can ALWAYS be the sweetest. With the best smile, the warmest gaze, the most gratitude, and the most pleasant attitude, a woman's poise is her gentle strength"
 
Week 5 Challenge

1. In your planner, plan out how next month (February) will go. How will you make time for your hobbies and goals? What days will you do hobbies and goals? Distance yourself from toxic personalities? Establish healthy boundaries? Walk away from arguments.

Right now, I have one hobby that I make time for weekly -- language learning. I want to make time to study more during the week instead of limiting it to my group study session.


2. What are some ways to polish your femininity EVERYDAY? What will you do? What are your feminine hobbies, dreams, and aspirations.

Appearance: I'm going to wear lip gloss daily and make sure that my eyebrows are groomed. On days where I'm going to be out of the house for more than an hour, at the very least lip gloss, eye brows, mascara, and eyeliner. Keep hands and feet manicured, either with or without colour. Continue improving my posture.

Attitude: Exercise patience and positive speech. Try to speak with a smile on my face as much as possible.

Mindset: Affirmation: I am love.


3. What is your drama blocking plan? Write it out.

I'm going to work on not instigating arguments with DH. :look: Sometimes when he states the obvious, I just can't let it go.


4. How could you only be mad for 5 minutes and not let arguments RULE your entire day.

Affirmation: Breathe in love and patience. Breathe out frustration.


5. How can you practice and improve your emotional self-awareness?

I've been working on being more cognizant of when I'm being triggered and dealing with my negative emotions as soon as I can instead of letting myself fester. Likewise, I'm trying to be cognizant of the things that bring me happiness and looking for those things throughout the day and holding on to those positive feelings.
 
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Update on week 4's challenge: Block History Month

I went on reddit today and deleted all of the sub-reddits that weren't elevating me. I'd joined a number of sub-reddits that I never read, but the fact that their updates come up on my feed disturbed me. I deleted them and now I'm left with the ones I do read and are helpful to me.
 
Maracujá said:
Happy new decade ladies! Let's take it to a new level ;). Thank you @snoop for starting this thread :yep:.

Here's what I posted on my FB page at the end of last year:

View attachment 454841

Didn't give much explanation of course. But it's basically about how I dealt with my daddy issues, by journaling about my father. Got closer to my mom and spent time with her to better understand her. Saw my close friend go from single to hitched with children. Changed jobs, not in the best possible way, but it happened. Remained faithful to my church, talk to my older sister like a friend now, have been living in my studio apartment for a decade and am seeing my goddaughter grow up to an amazing little young lady.

This is what I looked like for the festivities at the end of the year:

View attachment 454843

Have mastered my skin and hair regimen, as well as my make up regimen. This is how I prefer to look. Ezekiel Azonwu's wife said something that hit home: "Don't just do what God asked you to do, BE who He asked you to be too. That's also obedience."

So in the spirit of Chrystal Evans Hurst's book 'She's still there', I'm delving back into my passion for style:

View attachment 454845

Been wearing skirts and dresses for the longest, ever since @Zaynab advised us actually. But my attitude was lacking. Not so much anymore. My words for this year are: serendipity, surrender and rebirth. As for masculinity vs. feminity, there's a passage in the Bible that speaks to this regard, in Genesis. It says that God made us all, men and women, both male and female. The art is in always knowing which side needs to come up at what particular time. If you look at Nick Vujicic's relationship with his wife, there's very little physical protection he can actually offer her, but he can cover her in prayer. He cannot open cans for her or lift her up, but he plays up his masculinity by providing for her. Probably in ways that a man who has both hands and feet wouldn't be able to. So I'm definitely changing my mindset in this regard and opening my gaze.

Have to move out in about 1.5 months. My landlord is trying to pressure me and create all kinds of chaos, but I'm not letting that get me down. I'm doing everything in a poised, feminine and meticulous way. I would hate to move out and find out that I lost a photograph that is dear to me or something precious. So I'm doing everything with finesse: it's not about what we do, it about HOW we do it.

Been working extra hours to supplement my income, but yesterday my supervisor really got under my skin so I decided to address it like Serena would: would precised anger and politeness. I asked to have a meeting with her and our manager. I've been doing my work extremely well and the claws have come out. If it were back in the days I would've overthrown my life and try to do things "my way". But I am literally tired. Tired of temp jobs, no stability and insecurity. So this time...this time I fight. In a very strategic way. We will be having the meeting on Monday...in the meantime...I went to my favorite bookshop and spent about 3 hours there: just listening to TD Jakes, eating white chocolate and sipping chamomile tea ==>

View attachment 454847

Then I came home and did my hair:

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Click to expand...
Yaaaaaaas
 
PrissiSippi said:
Soooo happy y’all are keeping this going! Love y’all. It’s been sooo much going on. My mom is ill. I’m taking more care of my gma, I got two new students that are such a handful a really test my femininity, and I’m teaching this toddler to go to the potty. I’m tired :(
Click to expand...

PRIIISSSIIII!!!:bouncy:

I'm happy that you're back, but unhappy to hear about the circumstances that have kept you away. We're here for you whenever/if ever you need our support.

:bighug:
 
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