2019 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

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For me it feels like I’m connecting more with my body through the massages. I think scientifically it also releases certain hormones too which are beneficial. I’m always looking for ways to get in and stay in my body because this is a huge pillar of feminine energy.
Oh I'm down to this. I am going to try this tonight. This sounds like it is soooo sensual.
 



Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month

February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time

March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April-
Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 20: Home Aromas
Week 21: How Clean is Your Home
Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home


June- Inner Work
Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive
Week 24: Boundaries
Week 25: Limiting Beliefs
Week 26: Trust and Surrender

July- Seduction
Week 27: Play Cat Mouse
Week 28: Slow It Down
Week 29: Keep the Focus on YOU
Week 30: Lean Back
Week 31: Make Space for what you want

August
Week 32: Stroke His Ego
Week 33: Use his Wants
Week 34: Anchor Yourself
Week 35: Return to the Heart


September
Week 36: Saying NO from a Feminine Place
Week 37: Know Your Target's Need/ Tailor the Experience
Week 38: Self-Reflecting on Your Reflection


Your relationships are a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. It is a reflection of all of the baggage you try to hide. The men you attract show where you have imperfections.

The reason high value womens’ relationships thrive is because of the relationship they have created with themselves. They do the inner work and intentionally love themselves each and every day. Every relationship you are in is a reflection of the relationship with yourself. What is your reflection speaking?

:rose:If you act entitled to others people time space and energy, you’re going to attract men that act entitled to your time, space, beauty, womb, and energy with very little investment from them.
:rose:If you brag about how cheap you are and you buy thrift clothes all the time, you’re going to attract a man that’s cheap with you. Why would a man buy you expensive clothing and shoes? You were doing just fine and looked nice with the cheap clothes. Keep doing it.
:rose:If you don’t care about your health and you work when dead tired or sick why would he think about your health? You’re not doing it for yourself!
:rose:Are many of your friends critical? Where are you critical in your life?
:rose:If you don’t set boundaries with him when he misbehaves, why should he set boundaries to treat you well.
:rose:If you don’t treat yourself like you are the prize and you do self-sabotaging things why would he treat you like the prize?
:rose:If you don’t ever buy the food you want (that rib eye steak) and instead you buy what is on sale (4 for $4), why would he take you to nice restaurants? You’re thrifty right? 2 for $20 should be fine for you. It’s worked all this time. ‍♀️
:rose:If you are unwilling to invest money, time, and development in yourself, why would HE invest in you? ‍♀️
:rose:If you have a raggedy purse and you never buy things for yourself why should I? You don’t pay attention to the small details about you. Why should I?
:rose:If you brag about how you only spend $50 for groceries a week and use coupons, then you want him to spend a lot of money on quality food. He will feel like you’re controlling him or using him for a come up. You didn’t have quality food before. Why now? You didn’t pa full price. Why should I?
:rose:If you suggest using coupons or Groupons when he dates you he will feel you don’t trust him to provide and he should always get a discount when it refers to spending time with you. He shouldn’t have to pay full price.
:rose:If you are not consistent with loving yourself, have you noticed that you attract people who are also not consistent in their love for you?
:rose:If you have a hard time forgiving yourself for the past, have you found yourself attracting people who criticize and pick apart every little thing you do?
:rose:If the men you date don’t treat you like a priority, where are you not treating yourself as a priority? Weight loss? Business wise? Leveling up wise?
:rose:If you feel others judge you, where are you judging yourself?

Keep in mind it’s okay to be thrifty. BUT this is part of your feminine mystique. Get off the phone while doing this. Hide the bags in the car if you have to.. Don’t bring it up. Let you tell it you buy most of your clothes from Belk, Nordstrom, Dillard’s, Macy’s, boutiques. You’re expensive or at least you show others you’re expensive. Recreate your life. Present your best self to men. Take yourself to nice places. Act like you are the prize. Give yourself quality things and you will find others reciprocating the same. If you want to be in a healthy relationship you must first become healthy with the relationship you have with yourself. If we seek happiness, first we have to intentionally become happy. Then, happiness will be attracted to us. All relationships we have in our life are a mere reflection of us.

Week 37 Challenge
1. Be honest. Who are you reflecting in your life? How does this relate to you?
2. What's ONE action step you can take to change who you are attracting.
 
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1. Be honest. Who are you reflecting in your life? How does this relate to you?

Coming across as too independent and very stern. Like I got it all together, can figure it all out and don't need anybody's help. This spills over into my work life, I barely ever get up from my seat to go ask help from a co-worker.

Been living by myself for a decade and only asked my mother once, to come help me with cleaning. Even though she had been offering it for the longest. My friends know me as the one who can pull herself up by her boot straps. As a consequence, at work, I lack empathy. I work for a social security company and when people start talking to me about how hard life is, I just draw blanks.

I've seen the result of this so called independent lifestyle, my mom is an example of it. It's no good and I know it. But how to go about it to turn it around? I haven't a clue, ma'am.

2. What's ONE action step you can take to change who you are attracting.

Release the past and forgive myself for mistakes I made, that sent me down the wrong path and threw me off course.
 
I'm wishy washy with myself. Sometimes I take care of myself. Sometimes I forget. I meet men that are wishy washy. One day they are all in. The next week they are unsure. My action step I am going to do it to commit to putting on my facial wash, moisturizer, and suncreen everyday in addition to my makeup. It seems like I skip some steps sometimes.
 
Week 37 Challenge
1. Be honest. Who are you reflecting in your life? How does this relate to you?
2. What's ONE action step you can take to change who you are attracting.

My toxic sometimey friends and family members are falling away. Which sucks for the family part but Oh well. I’m giving them the energy they give me.

I am going to go to some junior league events here in hopes of meeting more like- minded women. I don’t love socializing but I’m going to talk myself into turning it on for the sake of long term possibilities.
 
Reposted from @hopeful

Remember when talking from a feminine place to have STRONG boundaries in place. Stray away from ultimatums. Keep the focus on YOU.

✨With ULTIMATUMS the focus is on the other person's bad behavior, them being disrespectful or unloving etc. So it becomes this either/or situation and the person is backed in a corner. These don’t work.

Example: If you don’t marry me, I’ll leave you.
Or
If you keep hollering at me, ima DIVORCE YOU.

✨With BOUNDARIES the focus is on you, your dreams, your feelings, and what you hope for in a relationship. It comes from a softer and at the same time, a stronger, place.

Example: I would like to be married. It's important to me. I know you are reluctant, and I respect your feelings. (If he marries you or not, you’re fine but to protect yourself you will leave).

Example: It really makes me feel uneasy when we fight like this. I’d prefer we finish this conversation when we’re both calm. *leave*
 
Reposted from @hopeful

Remember when talking from a feminine place to have STRONG boundaries in place. Stray away from ultimatums. Keep the focus on YOU.

✨With ULTIMATUMS the focus is on the other person's bad behavior, them being disrespectful or unloving etc. So it becomes this either/or situation and the person is backed in a corner. These don’t work.

Example: If you don’t marry me, I’ll leave you.
Or
If you keep hollering at me, ima DIVORCE YOU.

✨With BOUNDARIES the focus is on you, your dreams, your feelings, and what you hope for in a relationship. It comes from a softer and at the same time, a stronger, place.

Example: I would like to be married. It's important to me. I know you are reluctant, and I respect your feelings. (If he marries you or not, you’re fine but to protect yourself you will leave).

Example: It really makes me feel uneasy when we fight like this. I’d prefer we finish this conversation when we’re both calm. *leave*

This is pretty much how Michelle acted with Barack, from what I garner in her book Becoming.
 
I’m not cooking as much these days but I must say it’s my go to hobby to calm down and slow down, not rush, and work I’m being feminine.

Girl who you tellin':

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Starting to really master this segment of my life, so now, I want to kick it up a notch. One of my dreams has always been to cook food from different cultures. Will be trying my hand at Moroccan lemon chicken soon. In the foodie group I partake in on FB, there's a lady that cooked Ethiopian food, I was just like :o.
 



Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month

February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time

March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April-
Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 20: Home Aromas
Week 21: How Clean is Your Home
Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home


June- Inner Work
Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive
Week 24: Boundaries
Week 25: Limiting Beliefs
Week 26: Trust and Surrender

July- Seduction
Week 27: Play Cat Mouse
Week 28: Slow It Down
Week 29: Keep the Focus on YOU
Week 30: Lean Back
Week 31: Make Space for what you want

August
Week 32: Stroke His Ego
Week 33: Use his Wants
Week 34: Anchor Yourself
Week 35: Return to the Heart


September
Week 36: Saying NO from a Feminine Place
Week 37: Know Your Target's Need/ Tailor the Experience
Week 38: Self-Reflecting on Your Reflection
Week 39: Affirmations


Week 39: Usage of Affirmations


1. I radiate love and respect, and in return I get love and respect.

2. I approve of myself and feel great about myself.

3. I love and accept myself unconditionally.

4. My high self-esteem enables me to respect others, and get respect in return.

5. I am a unique and very special person.

6. I am strong and balanced.

7. I am like a tall tree with thick and strong roots, connecting deep into mother earth.

8. I am bathing in a river of courage and strength.

9. There was a ME first, just ME, BEFORE I was a wife, before I was a mom and that ME was a full, complete, and whole person. I was not a HALF of anything. I was WHOLE back then and I was still WHOLE and the WHOLE of ME was outstanding, truly a fabulous human being.

10. I inspire and strengthen other women to greatness through my direct actions.


Week 39 Challenge
1. What's your favorite affirmations? Feel free to post them in this thread.
2. What's ONE activity you can commit to doing with your affirmations.
 
Pre Feminine days:

Me: * explains the case of a particular customer to co-worker *
She: "What?! Could you repeat it please, I didn't understand none of what you said!"
Me: * goes ham and cheese *

Post Feminine days:

Me: * explains the case of a particular customer to co-worker *
She: "What?! Could you repeat it please, I didn't understand none of what you said!"
Me: "Oh but of course!" :gorgeous: * goes on to explain everything more slowly and clearly *
 
It's sooo important to work with yoru accountability partner. @PeaceLover called me like, hey why did we stop buying flowers and have you been buying and cooking fresh foods? I thought about it quickly I realized I had been slipping back into some of my old habits of buying canned food to make cooking quicker and I hadn't bought flowers in over 3 weeks.

It reminded me to slow down, return to my centered anchored place, and just be feminine. Headed to pick me up a bouquet TODAY.
 
Pre Feminine days:

Me: * explains the case of a particular customer to co-worker *
She: "What?! Could you repeat it please, I didn't understand none of what you said!"
Me: * goes ham and cheese *

Post Feminine days:

Me: * explains the case of a particular customer to co-worker *
She: "What?! Could you repeat it please, I didn't understand none of what you said!"
Me: "Oh but of course!" :gorgeous: * goes on to explain everything more slowly and clearly *
I have a LOT more patience these days as well. I can't remember what happened but I was like, I don't have to rush. I literally have all day. It seems like things go faster these days because of it.
 



Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month

February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time

March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April-
Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 20: Home Aromas
Week 21: How Clean is Your Home
Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home


June- Inner Work
Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive
Week 24: Boundaries
Week 25: Limiting Beliefs
Week 26: Trust and Surrender

July- Seduction
Week 27: Play Cat Mouse
Week 28: Slow It Down
Week 29: Keep the Focus on YOU
Week 30: Lean Back
Week 31: Make Space for what you want

August
Week 32: Stroke His Ego
Week 33: Use his Wants
Week 34: Anchor Yourself
Week 35: Return to the Heart


September
Week 36: Saying NO from a Feminine Place
Week 37: Know Your Target's Need/ Tailor the Experience
Week 38: Self-Reflecting on Your Reflection
Week 39: Affirmations

October-Etiquette
Week 40: Sitting Pretty


Week 40: Sitting Pretty Etiquette

We all know posture is everything, but do we know it's everywhere? Posture is important everywhere which includes running, walking, posing for pictures, standing, and even sitting. It's not always possible to be the PRETTIEST, but you can be the one with the most grace, elegance, and more. As it relates to sitting pretty, make sure when seated your knees and ankles are together even if you decide to cross your legs at the knee. Take in tips from the two videos posted below and have a little fun sitting pretty and in style time after time.





Week 35 Challenge

1. Practice sitting down graciously.
2. Ask a friend/accountability trip to look at you going from seated to standing.
NOTE: Make sure to pay attention how to place your stance before you sit down. It seems that your knees fall gracefully if you have the back leg pointed diagonally and the other leg pointed straight. That was a great tip for me.
 
Only three months left in this decade! Truly hope all the seeds we have planted will continue to manifest in the next decade :yep:.

It's such a great time to be a Black woman. Was scrolling through my IG and noticed so many Black women doing their own thing. Even here in fort Europe :lol:. Posted this picture on my FB page, because it inspired me so much:

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The first time I joined FB, I was young and dumb, had no idea how imagery affects us all. This second time around, since let's say 2014...I'm much more 'woke' about what & how I post. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was right when she spoke about the danger of a single story. Many Afropean women are joining the professional work force and are ill equipped in so many terms. The knowledge we share here would be invaluable to them: in terms of looks, professionalism, mommy hood, femininity and dealing with Caucasians at the workplace.

The world force feeds us this image of Black women as being irresponsible on all accounts and people eat it up. With my FB page, I do my best to dismantle that lie. So it was very refreshing to post the pic of this poised lady: healthy, happy and whole.

As for me, still on the 'Conquer your closet challenge':

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As for cooking: I'm usually on team 'wake up early to take care of your kitchen', instead of team 'stay up late to wake up to clean kitchen' but...a few days ago I joined the other team and I must say...not bad! The next morning I was just able to make lunch and everything flowed so easily, cause everything was squeaky clean:

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So I work at a hotel and I see a good number of couple interactions. This has only deepened my desire to be in a relationship with traditional gender roles. When I see women come marching in to pay for the room while their boyfriend hangs around or sits in the car, I cringe on the inside. I know that everyone has their own dynamics in their relationship, but I just can't :spinning:.


These last few months have been a ball of chaos for me. I'm in the process of regaining peace and stability.
 
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