2019 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

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I was waiting to cross the street the other day and I motioned for a car to go ahead, but they insisted that I cross first. When I crossed, the man said - it is always ladies first. Please remember that ladies always go first. That made me smile.
This has been happening more and more with me lol. It's always a subtle reminder to slow down and not rush. I love it when the Universe puts me up on game.
 
I just
So I work at a hotel and I see a good number of couple interactions. This has only deepened my desire to be in a relationship with traditional gender roles. When I see women come marching in to pay for the room while their boyfriend hangs around or sits in the car, I cringe on the inside. I know that everyone has their own dynamics in their relationship, but I just can't :spinning:.


These last few months have been a ball of chaos for me. I'm in the process of regaining peace and stability.
I went to the liquor store the other day with my guy. My classmate walked in with me. I noticed her dude stayed in the car AND she was driving her car instead of him. She bought some alcohol (probably for both of them to sip on) and it kinda made me disgusted because I just know he's going to get her drunk and then want some kitty. I want more for my life. I really think it's a mindset shift. A year ago I would have been okay with that too. I would have justified it like well he DID pay last time. Not anymore.
 
These last few months have been a ball of chaos for me. I'm in the process of regaining peace and stability.

Same here. I keep being reminded of this Gospel song, with the following lyrics: "I must be close to my blessing, 'cause here come all kind of trouble." ;)

In other news, I'm still cooking/eating wholesome food:

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Now I'm out here debating on how to stay active during the colder months:

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Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month

February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time

March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April-
Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 20: Home Aromas
Week 21: How Clean is Your Home
Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home


June- Inner Work
Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive
Week 24: Boundaries
Week 25: Limiting Beliefs
Week 26: Trust and Surrender

July- Seduction
Week 27: Play Cat Mouse
Week 28: Slow It Down
Week 29: Keep the Focus on YOU
Week 30: Lean Back
Week 31: Make Space for what you want

August
Week 32: Stroke His Ego
Week 33: Use his Wants
Week 34: Anchor Yourself
Week 35: Return to the Heart


September
Week 36: Saying NO from a Feminine Place
Week 37: Know Your Target's Need/ Tailor the Experience
Week 38: Self-Reflecting on Your Reflection
Week 39: Affirmations

October-Etiquette
Week 40: Sitting Pretty
Week 41: Standing Pretty


Week 40: Standing Pretty Etiquette

It's not always possible to be the PRETTIEST, but you can be the one with the most grace, elegance, and more.





Week 41 Challenge

1. Practice standing graciously.
2. Ask a friend/accountability trip to look at you going from seated to standing.
 
I love this thread. I am reminded that the essence of feminine energy is being self-focused (not necessarily selfish) and not letting anyone or anything pull you out of your zone. Of course it will happen from time to time but the key is going back. I think it’s this energy that’s attractive to men, money, opportunities etc. Even with friendships I’ve learned to lean back and observe. If I don’t feel like my time and loyalty are being valued, I turn my focus away from that person and back to myself.
 
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It's been a while since I've posted, but the word consistency is resonating with me throughout this entire thread. M-F, I'm in work mode, in clothing that's presentable and functional, but I'm trying to be more stylish. Fashion inspiration is everywhere! Instead of waiting until the weekend to try new looks, experiment with my makeup (I have quite a bit), my energy is going towards a quick and nice five minute face. No more knee-jerk reactions. Remembering to breathe, take my time and step away if angry. Speaking my mind in a feminine way to get my point across. Walking away from people and situations that bring me down.

I've made some progress. I've cut a few people out of my life, lost about 15 lbs in the last two months, drink more water and am just in a good place. Very vibrant. There's a particular lifestyle I want and it's being created as I type. Affirm myself EVERYDAY in the shower and believe I deserve the best.
 
It's been a while since I've posted, but the word consistency is resonating with me throughout this entire thread. M-F, I'm in work mode, in clothing that's presentable and functional, but I'm trying to be more stylish. Fashion inspiration is everywhere! Instead of waiting until the weekend to try new looks, experiment with my makeup (I have quite a bit), my energy is going towards a quick and nice five minute face. No more knee-jerk reactions. Remembering to breathe, take my time and step away if angry. Speaking my mind in a feminine way to get my point across. Walking away from people and situations that bring me down.

I've made some progress. I've cut a few people out of my life, lost about 15 lbs in the last two months, drink more water and am just in a good place. Very vibrant. There's a particular lifestyle I want and it's being created as I type. Affirm myself EVERYDAY in the shower and believe I deserve the best.

In this mode as well, just interacting less with certain people. But also, really just thinking about immediately recognizing whether this person is for me or not. Like a few days ago, my cousin called me, to tell me that he had graduated college and is going on to attend grad school. Now that's good news right? And I am genuinely happy for him.

But I also know that in the past 10 years since I've moved out on my own, he's never really made an effort to reach out to me or find out how I've been doing. I've invited him and his wife, but their excuse is probably that I live too small. So when I heard the pride and gloating in his voice, it was so easy for me to say 'no' to his invitation to celebrate his graduation a few days later. No hard feelings, not none of that, just wanting to spend more time with 'my real tribe'. I'm tired of meeting people's ego and representatives, I want to meet human beings.
 
I have been out of this thread. Had a big move, now finally found a house (fingers crossed) that I should be in by end of the year. Living with family in cramped quarters until we move has been taxing at times but maintained my grace and disposition most of the time. I have been going back through the thread and planning how how to make my new home a space of peace of retreat. Also, can't wait to go through clothes and revamp my closet in a manner that motivates me to look my best daily. Right now I have limited closet space so it's tough!
 
Patience is one of my strengths. Today I met an ex-colleague near the bus stop. She is of Congolese descent and is living with an Angolan guy, who she recently had a baby boy with. We worked together in 2017, for a health insurance company. I decided to leave after it was clear to me, that it wasn't a right fit for me. She stayed.

Today she was relaying to me how two of her co-workers (including a Congolese guy who is married to an Angolan woman), have been home due to depression / burn outs. She told me C was home for a year due to depression, but didn't know anything else about her. This lady is a lesbian woman and this ex-colleague was not even aware of this, even though she still works there and sees them every day. Then we got to talking about C2 and she was not aware that he had lost his father about 1-2 years ago.

I found this to be unprofessional and just showcasing all of the clichés they talk about concerning Millennials in the work place.

It didn't stop there. She asked me whether I was still single, I smiled and said yes. I'm at a place in my life where whether it happens or not, I'm gone pray to make my dreams come true. But Congolese, Moroccan and Turkish women are notorious for being very marriage-minded. Then she told me she needed to go pick up her son at her mom's place, but the tram was taking too long to show up. So she got impatient and left to board another tram. I stayed put and later on, the tram did show up on another stop.

About 15 minutes later, as I'm getting close to my stop, I see her boarding the same tram as me again. She relayed to me that she had to take a tram, then a bus and then this tram again just to get to where she was going. When she could've just...waited :). She is thinking about lowering her hours at said health insurance company, because she's too tired, but sometimes as women we tire ourselves out for nothing imho.
 
I am re-listening to a course that I took with a feminine energy coach. I was reminded to take my focus of any ONE thing (a man, money, business, etc) and focus on being happy/content/joyful in the present moment because that's the point of attraction. Focusing on ONE thing closes all of the other possibilities. She says something that Esther Hicks says as well: that is the work. The "work" is all internal. But ego wants to keep us focused on what so and so is (or isn't) doing :look: LOL
 
I am re-listening to a course that I took with a feminine energy coach. I was reminded to take my focus of any ONE thing (a man, money, business, etc) and focus on being happy/content/joyful in the present moment because that's the point of attraction. Focusing on ONE thing closes all of the other possibilities. She says something that Esther Hicks says as well: that is the work. The "work" is all internal. But ego wants to keep us focused on what so and so is (or isn't) doing :look: LOL

Can you expound on this? I'm not sure I follow, but I want to.
 
I am re-listening to a course that I took with a feminine energy coach. I was reminded to take my focus of any ONE thing (a man, money, business, etc) and focus on being happy/content/joyful in the present moment because that's the point of attraction. Focusing on ONE thing closes all of the other possibilities. She says something that Esther Hicks says as well: that is the work. The "work" is all internal. But ego wants to keep us focused on what so and so is (or isn't) doing :look: LOL


“One does not need a relationship in order to be happy, but one does need to be happy, in order to be in a relationship.” :yep:
 
Can you expound on this? I'm not sure I follow, but I want to.

Basically if you are too laser focused on one thing it actually closes the possibilities. For example if you are wondering why a guy isn’t calling chances are he won’t. But as soon as you forget about him that’s when he calls!

The work is being happy. The work is trusting that everything is EXACTLY as it’s supposed to be in this moment—even the “bad” stuff. Everything is ALWAYS working out. But most people are not living in the present. They are stuck in the past or fearful of the future. The golden point of attraction is surrender. I allow what is. Maybe I even welcome what is. And trust that my highest good is on the way.
 
Basically if you are too laser focused on one thing it actually closes the possibilities. For example if you are wondering why a guy isn’t calling chances are he won’t. But as soon as you forget about him that’s when he calls!

The work is being happy. The work is trusting that everything is EXACTLY as it’s supposed to be in this moment—even the “bad” stuff. Everything is ALWAYS working out. But most people are not living in the present. They are stuck in the past or fearful of the future. The golden point of attraction is surrender. I allow what is. Maybe I even welcome what is. And trust that my highest good is on the way.

“A surrendered life IS the best life”

That’s when you leave all of the planning to God, as He can better work out the details anyway. You become less controlling which is very feminine.

Two examples:

Sis #1 was in an abusive relationship, left it and had no plan in tow. Met a guy from her youth not too long after, he had no green card though and to top it all off: she got pregnant like a year later. Recipe for disaster right? WRONG!

Fast forward today and Sis #1 is living her best life with a loving DH and three beautiful daughters.

Sis #2 was in a wonderful, “boring” relationship for which she had little to no regard. Left ol’ dude who was struggling to find steady employment, but was an overall good guy... to be with a safe bet. Quickly moved in with this safe bet and... about a year later, the relationship came tumbling down. Meanwhile, “boring”, family-oriented ol’ dude is gainfully employed, married with children and recently became a homeowner.

Our ways (=plans) are not His ways (=surrendered lifestyle where you are at ease at ALL times and constantly remind yourself that ALL things work together for our good).

Sorry for writing this whole book, but I’m going through it right now with the home search :lol:.
 
Basically if you are too laser focused on one thing it actually closes the possibilities. For example if you are wondering why a guy isn’t calling chances are he won’t. But as soon as you forget about him that’s when he calls!

The work is being happy. The work is trusting that everything is EXACTLY as it’s supposed to be in this moment—even the “bad” stuff. Everything is ALWAYS working out. But most people are not living in the present. They are stuck in the past or fearful of the future. The golden point of attraction is surrender. I allow what is. Maybe I even welcome what is. And trust that my highest good is on the way.

Thanks! I thought that is what you meant, but wasn't quite sure.
 
I’ve been so MIA! I apologize! I saw this post from Ro and thought of y’all. I miss her posts like this. These are things to think about and ways to act more feminine. I’ll give commentary in pink.

1. Now we call people “you” “he” & “her” as if it’s their name. Try to be respectful and say a direct pronoun. PrissiSippi said she would like some tea if you have some. vs She said she wants some tea.
2. We respond only “no” to offers. Let people down in a feminine way. Example: Thank you for your time, I’ve enjoyed our communication, however, I do not feel that it is in our best interests to accept this proposal.
3. When we disagree with the teacher, we can think it’s acceptable to say, “why?." Take a moment to sit down with your feelings. How do you feel when you hear advice? If you don't agree with the teacher, don't argue. Let it go. Say your peace and let it be done. Do what's best for you but also take time to self-reflect.
4. We think that only suckers say please & thank you EVERY time. Good etiquette never goes out of style. Take time to say please and thank everyday. Make it a habit.
5. We walk up to people and start making our request. Don't rush. Walk up to people and be unrushed and unbothered. Hello. *pause* How are you today? *pause and let them answer* I hope you're having a good day. I was wondering if you could xyz?
6. We walk into establishments without greeting. Always greet people when you come in the door. Hello *smile* How are you today?
7. We even contact family and friends for a request but don’t ask how they’re doing, and don’t care. Hello. *pause* How are you today? *pause and let them answer* I hope you're having a good day. I was wondering if you could xyz?
8. We tell our spouses and children what to do and don’t ask. Instead of telling your significant other to take out the trash, use a feeling statement and ASK. Example: Oh my gosh that trash it making me feel so nauseous. I'm really struggling. Could you take the trash out....please. *sound feminine*
10. We can call our family members by their names, but can’t force ourselves to call them pumpkin or cupcake. Use pet names with the people you love. Hello my Stud Muffin. Hello my handsome little guy. Make the name specific to them. Include their hobbies or strengths. Hey my sexy engineer....I have a project I need you to work on ;)
11. We say MY son or daughter, totally disrespecting the other parent....or the other half of the child. Either say the baby's name or say OUR child
12. We say what we want first, but don’t ask what the listener wants. Add what do you think when talking to men. Put the ball back in their court. I was thinking we could go out tonight. What do you think?
13. We talk sooooo loudly, totally disrespecting quiet peoples right to feel safe and other people’s right to have peace. Stay in the feminine. Be polite and stay quiet when talking unless it's absolutely necessary.
14. We talk with sooooo many I, Me, My, mine....so rude to simply say, “We” & “Our”. Example: Our child. We are coparenting. We need to look for the best interest of the child.
 
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Have had my groceries delivered to my doorstep for three consecutive months, it's a win-win situation!

I have never really worked full time in my life. For those of you that do, how do you manage your time? How do you carve out some me-time?

Slightly OT: for those of you who are older and more seasoned, in which ways do you see us Millennials being too selfish? Whether professionally, in family contexts, in romantic relationships or in friendships? TIA for answering.
 
I've been saying I wanna do this for months. Finally moving forward with research. Which service do you use?

Oh, I live outside of the US. But knowing how service-minded Americans are, I'm sure there are some the ladies here can recommend :yep:.

You will not regret it, trust me. Especially during this time of the year, when it gets cold. No more shoving around heavy bags for me. Plus, most of the men who deliver it are Black or Brown :D.
 
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