2019 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

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hunnychile said:
She told me my hair was repellant to men, so grand opening......grand closing. :lol:
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Has she ever had short hair? Cuz ummm...that has NOT EVER been my experience. The menfolk love my baldie. I’ve had strangers try to touch it. Every SO I’ve had since I cut it (or guy that tried to come back) talked about how sexy my cut is. Current SO likes to rub my head all the time, as did ex SO. And I’m no little thing either. “Amazonian” is the term a friend used to describe me. Tall, solid, bald. And there’s no doubt about my femininity. Repellant where? Maybe men are intimidated. But if they are, they aren’t your type anyway. You’re right for leaving her alone and proudly being exactly who are
 
kupenda said:
Has she ever had short hair? Cuz ummm...that has NOT EVER been my experience. The menfolk love my baldie. I’ve had strangers try to touch it. Every SO I’ve had since I cut it (or guy that tried to come back) talked about how sexy my cut is. Current SO likes to rub my head all the time, as did ex SO. And I’m no little thing either. “Amazonian” is the term a friend used to describe me. Tall, solid, bald. And there’s no doubt about my femininity. Repellant where? Maybe men are intimidated. But if they are, they aren’t your type anyway. You’re right for leaving her alone and proudly being exactly who are
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A short haircut will do something to man. And if you wear it well? You might as well be a goddess in their eyes. :gorgeous:
 
PrissiSippi said:
Just let it go. You won’t win. Instead just protect yourself. Don’t ask her to do anything else.

I’m never good at being nice nasty so hopefully someone else will chime in on how to do that.
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I decided to just go quiet on her. My mom spoke to her mom and I’m sure she will take care of business for me.
I’m just gonna keep living well.
 



Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month
February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time
March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April- Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 20: Home Aromas
Week 21: How Clean is Your Home
Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home



June- Inner Work
Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive
Week 24: Boundaries
Week 25: Limiting Beliefs
Week 26: Trust and Surrender
July- Seduction
Week 27: Play Cat Mouse
Week 28: Slow It Down
Week 29: Keep the Focus on YOU
Week 30: Use what he WANTS to get what you NEED.
Week 31: Make Space for what you want

August
Week 32: Stroke His Ego


Week 32: Stroke His Ego

​
Ways to compliment/stroke his ego:

Try to focus on his masculine traits ( I respect your leadership) and not so much his appearance (you’re so sexy). This helps him do MORE for you and in turn causes him to fall in love faster.

I feel so sexy hunny when you plan dates for us. You know I just love your surprises.
It felt so wonderful driving up the driveway, seeing our freshly cut mown lawn! Thank you babe.
You know one thing I love about you is how you always figure stuff out. You make me feel so safe with you. I’m behind you 100 percent of the way. You’re my hero.
I feel like Beyoncé when you open the door for me ☺️ Thank you hun.

Week 32 Challenge
1. By the end of the week, stroke his ego once. How does it go?
 



Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month
February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time
March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April- Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 20: Home Aromas
Week 21: How Clean is Your Home
Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home



June- Inner Work
Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive
Week 24: Boundaries
Week 25: Limiting Beliefs
Week 26: Trust and Surrender
July- Seduction
Week 27: Play Cat Mouse
Week 28: Slow It Down
Week 29: Keep the Focus on YOU
Week 30: Use what he WANTS to get what you NEED.
Week 31: Make Space for what you want

August
Week 32: Stroke His Ego
Week 33: Use his Wants


Week 33: Use his wants

​

1️⃣ Acknowkedge the request in a feminine way
2️⃣ Make a personal request that benefits YOU. Keep the focus on YOU.
3️⃣ Relate it them and tell them how they will benefit. Think what’s in it for THEM.
4️⃣ You gotta follow through. (Keep cheap pieces of lingerie you could wear or shoes you don’t often wear blah blah be creative.

Him: Can I have a picture of you? - *send cash app request* I just saw some lingerie I thought you’d like on me. I can’t wait to take pictures for you in them.

Him: We can just stay in the house and cook.
You: Mmm I need a couple groceries and new pots and pans. Cash app me so I can go pick up a few things. I can’t wait to wear my new apron for you.

Him: I like you with your hair curly.
You- Foreal? I like it on me too. It’s crazy you mentioned my stylist just sent me her Summer promotion. Can you send me some money so I can book my next appointment and get it done for you?

Him: I love it when you wear those heels that show off your legs.
Mmm I’d love to. Actually I wanted to wear something new for you. I saw these heels that I think you would love. Can I see your card (or cash app) so I can order them?

Him: I wanna see you tonight
I don’t have anything to wear. My heels broke last night and they were my favorites. I feel uncomfortable when I’m not looking my best.

Remember flip it on him. He says you need to go to the gym? Ask him for money to go

He says You need to eat better? ➡️ Oh honey may I have $100 to get healthier food from the grocery store? I know you said you wanted me to eat better.

He says You need to lose weight ➡️ When can you give me $100 a month to hire a trainer? Can I pick up the money today or Friday?
 
I’m struggling to intentionally stroke his ego. I say stuff like how I appreciate him etc. But now that it’s something I’m doing for the challenge, my brain is drawing a blank. So I need help. Here’s the situation. Last week we were gonna meet in the city at a restaurant near his job for a lunch date. But something came up for him at work so we rescheduled for next week. Today we discussed a location and how I would get there. He mapped out my route and said he would put money on his metro card for me. I also know he will be paying for lunch. And he mentioned wanting to cuddle and watch movies that night. All of this sounds great. But I’m struggling to say something ego specific. Help please
 
kupenda said:
I’m struggling to intentionally stroke his ego. I say stuff like how I appreciate him etc. But now that it’s something I’m doing for the challenge, my brain is drawing a blank. So I need help. Here’s the situation. Last week we were gonna meet in the city at a restaurant near his job for a lunch date. But something came up for him at work so we rescheduled for next week. Today we discussed a location and how I would get there. He mapped out my route and said he would put money on his metro card for me. I also know he will be paying for lunch. And he mentioned wanting to cuddle and watch movies that night. All of this sounds great. But I’m struggling to say something ego specific. Help please
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Unfortunately, I have no advice to offer! But the bolded is so :love: though!
 
Pertaining to this week's assignment, how do those of us who were indoctrinated to be independent women to the extreme cope? I read through the examples and a light keeps flashing in my head, that reads 'gold digger', when I know for a fact it's not the case at all.

So theoretically, I know a man is supposed to provide. But in actuality, I've never seen this IRL, at least not while growing up. Plus, my ex was super stingy, so I still carry baggage from that previous relationship. HELP!
 
Maracujá said:
Pertaining to this week's assignment, how do those of us who were indoctrinated to be independent women to the extreme cope? I read through the examples and a light keeps flashing in my head, that reads 'gold digger', when I know for a fact it's not the case at all.

So theoretically, I know a man is supposed to provide. But in actuality, I've never seen this IRL, at least not while growing up. Plus, my ex was super stingy, so I still carry baggage from that previous relationship. HELP!
Click to expand...

That’s gonna take some serious unlearning on your part. I would work on:
1. Removing your negative beliefs about being a gold digger. That term is derogatory and it’s normally used by men with very little money, against women who expect them to provide more than peen and personality. Similar to how a man and a woman can have sex but the woman can be called a whore for it, when the man isn’t.

2. Work on understanding that Independent Women are beautiful creatures. But you need not be one to be beautiful. That independence was created to cope with the lack of providers. Something had to be done, so women, being who we are, stepped up and took over.

3. If you’ve been independent all this time, don’t you deserve to rest now? I tell myself “I deserve this” all this time. I deserve great sex and orgasms. I deserve chocolate cake for breakfast. I deserve to have someone else pay for and pump my gas, etc etc
 
kupenda said:
That’s gonna take some serious unlearning on your part. I would work on:
1. Removing your negative beliefs about being a gold digger. That term is derogatory and it’s normally used by men with very little money, against women who expect them to provide more than peen and personality. Similar to how a man and a woman can have sex but the woman can be called a whore for it, when the man isn’t. Most men who refer to women as gold diggers also know that you have high standards and want you to lower them so that they can appeal to you. Its a mind game. And while the term is meant to be derogatory, take it as a compliment. That man is telling you your worth. Men will pay for prostitutes, so lets think about that.

2. Work on understanding that Independent Women are beautiful creatures. But you need not be one to be beautiful. That independence was created to cope with the lack of providers. Something had to be done, so women, being who we are, stepped up and took over. So thinking about this, instead of thinking you dont need him, think that you need him to provide and thats the role he is meant to play. Your state of mind is not to reduce him, but to show him that you can take care of yourself. If he does not want to play his role, you dont have a problem taking care of yourself and still achieving your goals. You can easily find another man who will fall in line with your goals (which is why appearance is a major factor). He will then know if he wants to be here, he needs to be adding.

3. If you’ve been independent all this time, don’t you deserve to rest now? I tell myself “I deserve this” all this time. I deserve great sex and orgasms. I deserve chocolate cake for breakfast. I deserve to have someone else pay for and pump my gas, etc etc You deserve whatever you want. You are the prize. Men either fall in line or weed themselves out.
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@Maracujá Im going to add on. Its counterproductive lol.
 
Maracujá said:
Pertaining to this week's assignment, how do those of us who were indoctrinated to be independent women to the extreme cope? I read through the examples and a light keeps flashing in my head, that reads 'gold digger', when I know for a fact it's not the case at all.

So theoretically, I know a man is supposed to provide. But in actuality, I've never seen this IRL, at least not while growing up. Plus, my ex was super stingy, so I still carry baggage from that previous relationship. HELP!
Click to expand...
I stopped believing being an independent woman was #goals.
It actually seems exhausting.
Yes I can take care of myself but why do I have to be on top of everything at all times? I still sing along to Webbie’s song but I’m like naw cuh, I ain’t tryna do all that.
 
Brwnbeauti said:
I stopped believing being an independent woman was #goals.
It actually seems exhausting.
Yes I can take care of myself but why do I have to be on top of everything at all times? I still sing along to Webbie’s song but I’m like naw cuh, I ain’t tryna do all that.
Click to expand...
Yup! These independent women are still expected to do all of the other “womanly” duties without complaint. It’s a lose lose situation
 
I really felt triggered this weekend. My brother is separated from his wife. He's a hard provider but he can be stubborn and really unconcerning at times. Well my mother went on and on about how you (women) have to sacrifice for your children. (SIL moved away from the current school the children were at and put them in a better school. BUT it's farther away)

Her message was to my SIL but it was to me as well since I'm in the same boat. She kept telling me that you have to SACRIFICE for your children. If he is not beating you and paying the bills you stay. :look: If you don't stay it's because you're selfish and you're not a REAL woman because your happiness shouldn't come from a man. You should be able to be happy no matter what he does because you make your own self happy. AND if you did leave all you gonna do is get with another man with problems that probably going to beat you. You should just stay where you are (rooted in fear).

I really wanted to argue back and forth but these days I've realized this takes me out of my element plus it never works. I said hmm I can understand where you're coming from but I don't agree. Children need to be raised in a productive enviroment and that may mean separating from toxic situations. After that I got off of the phone.:deadhorse:No arguing. No feeling like my blood is boiling. No getting mad. I put ALL of the focus back on me and had bottomless mimosas. Whoo this journey of keeping my femininity and trying to just BE more rather than argue and prove has taken me a LONG way.
 
kupenda said:
I deserve chocolate chip brownies for breakfast before I wander aimlessly through Trader Joe’s. Then I’m gonna come back to SO’s house and get cute so we can go on our picnic. Somewhere in there I will thank him with a nice ego stroke
Click to expand...
How did the ego stroke go? Did it go well?
 



Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month
February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time
March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April- Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 20: Home Aromas
Week 21: How Clean is Your Home
Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home



June- Inner Work
Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive
Week 24: Boundaries
Week 25: Limiting Beliefs
Week 26: Trust and Surrender
July- Seduction
Week 27: Play Cat Mouse
Week 28: Slow It Down
Week 29: Keep the Focus on YOU
Week 30: Lean Back
Week 31: Make Space for what you want

August
Week 32: Stroke His Ego
Week 33: Use his Wants
Week 34: Anchor Yourself

Week 34:

Anchoring


It doesn't matter how challenging the situation is. Always try to ask yourself these questions in the following three steps to stay grounded, emotionally un-reactive, and in touch with your femininity.


1. What is it that I really want? Is this feeling unfair or illogical? If not, how can I CHOOSE myself here? (Not him, Not my job, but MYSELF)


2. How can I respect feelings and boundaries in this situation here? (No falling into pleasing mode or obligation mode)


3. How can I get what I want and speak my truth without doing the C behaviors such as (correcting, criticizing, coddling, coaching and etc.)


Then follow those answers.

Week 34: What are some ways that you need to keep yourself anchored in the up coming days?​
 
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I really am proud of @PeaceLover she said she didn't feel comfortable keeping her husband's step-kids this summer because she often was left feeling overwhelmed and unappreciated. She really stood on it and anchored herself.

1. What is it that she really wanted? She wanted to be able to work on her dissertation freely and have time to breathe and spend time with her little bitty baby. Was it illogical? No.

2. How can she respect her feelings? She agreed to let the kids come down for the summer, but she put boundaries on her time. She made time to work on her schoolwork even at a nearby campus when she had to to make SURE she had time for herself.

3. When she felt pushed or pressured into keeping the children, she simply said she couldn't and she didn't feel comfortable doing so because of xyz.​


Have any others anchored yourself recently?
 
kupenda said:
That’s gonna take some serious unlearning on your part. I would work on:
1. Removing your negative beliefs about being a gold digger. That term is derogatory and it’s normally used by men with very little money, against women who expect them to provide more than peen and personality. Similar to how a man and a woman can have sex but the woman can be called a whore for it, when the man isn’t.

2. Work on understanding that Independent Women are beautiful creatures. But you need not be one to be beautiful. That independence was created to cope with the lack of providers. Something had to be done, so women, being who we are, stepped up and took over.

3. If you’ve been independent all this time, don’t you deserve to rest now? I tell myself “I deserve this” all this time. I deserve great sex and orgasms. I deserve chocolate cake for breakfast. I deserve to have someone else pay for and pump my gas, etc etc
Click to expand...

Brwnbeauti said:
I stopped believing being an independent woman was #goals.
It actually seems exhausting.
Yes I can take care of myself but why do I have to be on top of everything at all times? I still sing along to Webbie’s song but I’m like naw cuh, I ain’t tryna do all that.
Click to expand...

THANK YOU so much ladies! It's not easy, but I'm in the process of...unlearning :yep:

Last month I went out with my friends who live down south:

67527755_1184537335068948_8118292907397480448_o.jpg

They are sisters and we've known each other for like a decade or more. They came up north to visit me and we just chatted away. I fell in love with their womanhood. They are Catholic, whereas I am Protestant. Both of them are gainfully employed, the lady on the far right is married and has two children. Her DH and her work a total of 4 days out the week and spend the remainder of their time with their babies.

They're 5 girls in their household and all of them are married except for one, they're also a very tight knit group and grew up in a two parent household. They don't believe in the renting mindset, so they actually move from their parents' household to their DH's household, in order to save money.

What truly baffled me, is that at end of our outing, we all had to pay for dinner: ladies, it was so embarrassing but a teachable moment as well. They just pulled out their wallets and started doling out bills. Me? I have always had a budget for everything, living paycheck to paycheck since I was a child :nono:. The one in the middle still lives at home so her father called to check up on her. Later on she started complaining that she is tired of that. I reassured her that the alternative is no better :(.

Thanks again ladies, it gives me hope for what to expect for future generations in my family:yep:
 
Maracujá said:
THANK YOU so much ladies! It's not easy, but I'm in the process of...unlearning :yep:

Last month I went out with my friends who live down south:

View attachment 450441

They are sisters and we've known each other for like a decade or more. They came up north to visit me and we just chatted away. I fell in love with their womanhood. They are Catholic, whereas I am Protestant. Both of them are gainfully employed, the lady on the far right is married and has two children. Her DH and her work a total of 4 days out the week and spend the remainder of their time with their babies.

They're 5 girls in their household and all of them are married except for one, they're also a very tight knit group and grew up in a two parent household. They don't believe in the renting mindset, so they actually move from their parents' household to their DH's household, in order to save money.

What truly baffled me, is that at end of our outing, we all had to pay for dinner: ladies, it was so embarrassing but a teachable moment as well. They just pulled out their wallets and started doling out bills. Me? I have always had a budget for everything, living paycheck to paycheck since I was a child :nono:. The one in the middle still lives at home so her father called to check up on her. Later on she started complaining that she is tired of that. I reassured her that the alternative is no better :(.

Thanks again ladies, it gives me hope for what to expect for future generations in my family:yep:
Click to expand...
It looks like y’all have a great time!
 
kupenda said:
I’m struggling to intentionally stroke his ego. I say stuff like how I appreciate him etc. But now that it’s something I’m doing for the challenge, my brain is drawing a blank. So I need help. Here’s the situation. Last week we were gonna meet in the city at a restaurant near his job for a lunch date. But something came up for him at work so we rescheduled for next week. Today we discussed a location and how I would get there. He mapped out my route and said he would put money on his metro card for me. I also know he will be paying for lunch. And he mentioned wanting to cuddle and watch movies that night. All of this sounds great. But I’m struggling to say something ego specific. Help please
Click to expand...
I know I'm late :spinning: but sounds like a good planner and provider. It feels nice not to have to worry about semantics. All you had to do was show up and look pretty.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Welcome @Amerie123! We are so happy to have you! Where on the feminine journey do you feel you are?
Click to expand...

:hiya: Hey everyone!!! Between this thread and then following the IG page I mentioned to you ladies earlier, I’ve been coming along pretty nicely. I’ve always been a relatively feminine woman, but I’ve definitely up the ante in the last 6 months thanks to you girls!!!! Of course I’m still a work in progress, but progress is def happening!!
:kiss3: :bdance:
 
Maracujá said:
What truly baffled me, is that at end of our outing, we all had to pay for dinner: ladies, it was so embarrassing but a teachable moment as well. They just pulled out their wallets and started doling out bills. Me? I have always had a budget for everything, living paycheck to paycheck since I was a child :nono:.
Click to expand...

What's so embarrassing? You had enough to pay the bill right? There's nothing wrong with having (and sticking to) a budget regardless of how much you make.
 
A guy I'm dating asked me to send him my prescription and he bought me some glasses today. I thought that was sooo sweet. Just a year ago I wasn't getting so many little gifts from men, mainly because I wasn't open to receiving from men because I was scared they would expect something in return. It feels really nice to be catered to. I often feel so special these days. I'm so grateful for you ladies!
 
hunnychile said:
Not apart of this challenge but I do read the posts from time to time and find them so helpful so I wanted to offer something in return. :) I’ve been meditating on femininity lately, more specifically what my particular “brand” looks like. I’d been watching some Youtubers and the delivery of some of these women seem more towards shaming you for not being a certain way vs giving you any real actionable tools to tap into that energy. When I realized these videos were giving me anxiety (and I am not an anxious person), I stopped watching majority of them.

In learning to “chew the meat and spit out the bones” (ie: what is my unique brand of femininity and how can encourage it to grow?) I’ve come to the realization that some of these techniques and suggestions do not feel authentic to me and I believe being feminine is about being comfortable in your genuine self. I think there are some universal principles we can apply (leaning back, looking and smelling good, etc) and also things about our unique selves that we can play up.

In my case, I have a very peaceful spirit. I am very calm. People comment on how laidback I am all the time. Yesterday I was feeling so tired when I decided to just slow down. I walked slower, was slower to speak, typed slower, everything. :lol: I went to the store after work and caught so many people looking at me, watching me, smiling at me. I could literally feel the goodness radiating from me.

I have short hair and have worn it this way for nearly eight years now. I get compliments on it all the time but I was almost made to feel self-conscious about it when a particular Youtuber said that men aren’t intimidated by women with short hair, they’re disgusted by them. What a strong, nasty thing to say. Nothing anyone on the internet says could ever make me love myself less and my short hair is a feature I’m not willing to give up. It works for me in a number of different ways. Instead of focusing on not having longer hair or trying to get longer hair, I’ve given more care to selecting beautiful earrings that play up this feature.

I also have nice hands and long fingernails. When I handle objects I treat them delicately, deliberately and with reverence. I calmly do one thing at a time. I also talk with my hands in flourishing motions, touch my chest or face when I exclaim, touch people very briefly. One of my love languages is touch so whenever I hug someone, I linger just a bit, give a quick squeeze and if it’s a man I’ll make a sound. :look:

I’m also flat chested. :lol: But if you don’t have cleavage you have clavicle and I have a beautiful back and shoulders so I highlight those whenever I can.

I've been working on my speaking voice and walk as well. And all my insecurities I've decided point blank to just stop paying attention to. People almost never see the flaws that we think are so obvious so why waste precious time and energy ruminating over them?

Kind of a long post but it was on my heart and I wanted to share it with you ladies. Be vigilant about how your psyche is taking in the information we think will help us to level up. Sometimes a little tough love is necessary but I prefer a more heart-centered, gentle approach to things. I thought I was educating/motivating myself but it was doing the opposite for me when what I really needed to do was look inward. There are lots of things I will continue to improve but doing it from a perspective of self-celebration vs "do this or else" makes the process so much more enjoyable. :heart3:
Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing. I will remember this on my path to becoming more feminine. This reminds me of the free 3 day online seminar hosted by Rachel Jayne Groover the author of "Powerful and Feminine". Like all free seminars she was trying to get people to come to her paid coaching program. Initially the things she said was very empowering and eye opening but then she turned to the audience and started being so mean and nasty. One of the ladies was telling her that she had imposter syndrome about her business and she had a stomach ache that day, not sure why she mentioned the stomach ache, but Rachel Groover told her that the reason she had those feelings was because she was an imposter and not experienced in her field. Her idea is that when you have an negative perception about yourself or if someone says something to you that is negative and you're feelings get hurt that means there is some truth to what is being said. She said she hopes what she said made the woman's stomach hurt even more because it was important that she experienced the truth. I was like "what in the world" it was horrible! I was this close to buying her paid coaching program until I realized she tears down vulnerable people's self esteem, and tries to build it back up again. That's not how it works. You should have seen the look on the woman's face she looked like she was going to cry.

I was listening to the Audible version of "Nice Girl's Don't Get the Corner Office" and the narrator was so condescending, not only in her tone but in her words. She sounded like a bully. Even though she had some really good points I couldn't even finish the book. I don't like it either when people give you advice and think its okay to tear you apart in the process, like I'm already insecure about this certain topic no need to pour more salt in the wound.
 
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