52 Weeks Towards Divine Femininity

[PrissiSippi]

On giving your man his plate first. This is such a small gesture. I literally fix EVERYONE's plates at the same time but I give DH his plate first. Next I place my child's plate, and lastly I give myself a plate. This is all within 30 seconds of each other. BUT the meaning is profound.

WHY do we give the husband/SO his plate first?​

1. The whole family needs to know that the marriage is there to cradle the family. Biblically, it's GOD --> Marriage --> Children --> Friends, Family
2. Feeding a husband first is a ceremony, and is masculine communication for, “Thank you for providing this food”.
3. If he’s not yet providing everything, it’s encouragement & reminder to do so.
4. Also, feeding a husband first is naming who the leader / king is.
5. If someone attacks the family, you’ll have your king strong and fed well, to defend well, right? Security guards cannot be hungry.
6. If children eat first, you’re literally (and deeply) teaching them that marriage and husbands are unimportant. But marriage is VERY important and is the key to generational success. Keep in mind what you are teaching your children.
7. When the wife’s restaurant door/ car door is opened, as the children wait for her to be secured first, this is the feminine version of the serving first rule.

 

[FemmeFatale]

On giving your man his plate first. This is such a small gesture. I literally fix EVERYONE's plates at the same time but I give DH his plate first. Next I place my child's plate, and lastly I give myself a plate. This is all within 30 seconds of each other. BUT the meaning is profound.

What's the deal? WHY do we give the husband/SO his plate first?

Answer:
1. The whole family needs to know that the marriage is there to cradle the family. Biblically, it's GOD --> Marriage --> Children --> Friends, Family
2. Feeding a husband first is a ceremony, and is masculine communication for, “Thank you for providing this food”.
3. If he’s not yet providing everything, it’s encouragement & reminder to do so.
4. Also, feeding a husband first is naming who the leader / king is.
5. If someone attacks the family, you’ll have your king strong and fed well, to defend well, right? Security guards cannot be hungry.
6. If children eat first, you’re literally (and deeply) teaching them that marriage and husbands are unimportant. But marriage is VERY important and is the key to generational success. Keep in mind what you are teaching your children.
7. When the wife’s restaurant door/ car door is opened, as the children wait for her to be secured first, this is the feminine version of the serving first rule.

I like that there’s a breakdown as to why thi is done.

I think there was a thread here a while back about this and the women were infuriated at the notion of making/serving the husband’s plate first.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

So are grits thick?

So in Italy you have polenta and in Barbados we have coucou (My dad would laugh that I said "we"). Is out something like that or is it sweet like a hot breakfast cereal?

Can you tell I'm not American? I'll tell you guys about ketchup chips and bagged milk as part of this culinary exchange of information.

You make it to your preference

 

[snoop]

I tried plating again, today, and I realize that sauces are so hard to make look pretty. There's a balance of artistry and having just the right amount to make the meal taste good. I made sautéed potatoes with Norwegian meatballs (and salad).

Yesterday, the baby stayed in her chair long enough for me to slow down and eat. I actually had to tell myself to take advantage of the situation and not rush. Today, DH held her and I was able to enjoy my meal, again. Everything tastes and feels more enjoyable when you can just slow down for 5 minutes.

As for giving DH his plate first, I'm one of the people who do not subscribe to that, personally. I'm not against it, it's just not for me. At a certain point in time I realized that my mother would give my dad the most food. She said that she was taught to do this. (It never occurred to me to check to see if that meant my brother got the second largest portion.) When I cooked, we would all get equal amounts. I told her that I work and I get hungry, too. HOWEVER, I plate my food last for the same reason -- hostessing and serving my family and guests, first. I was taught that setting the table you set your spot last. Or if there is an odd table setting, you keep it for yourself.

I plate my children first because 1. they're still very little and need to know that they're mother will always look out for them; and 2. because I want to be sure that they have enough food to eat. I feel like I am investing in them and their role in the family long term. I want to teach them trust, respect, and empathy within the family not just t roles and ceremonial/traditional obligation. As the only other adult in the house, my husband gets served next. If we have guests over, children are served first then the guests, then my husband, then myself. The same is if I go to my parents or family friends' homes. We all serve the children first since they can't help themselves, then guests, then the host (whether it is the female or male who is taking the lead role of hosting at that moment.)

The order will probably change once the kids get older.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I tried plating again, today, and I realize that sauces are so hard to make look pretty. There's a balance of artistry and having just the right amount to make the meal taste good. I made sautéed potatoes with Norwegian meatballs (and salad).

Yesterday, the baby stayed in her chair long enough for me to slow down and eat. I actually had to tell myself to take advantage of the situation and not rush. Today, DH held her and I was able to enjoy my meal, again. Everything tastes and feels more enjoyable when you can just slow down for 5 minutes.

As for giving DH his plate first, I'm one of the people who do not subscribe to that, personally. I'm not against it, it's just not for me. At a certain point in time I realized that my mother would give my dad the most food. She said that she was taught to do this. (It never occurred to me to check to see if that meant my brother got the second largest portion.) When I cooked, we would all get equal amounts. I told her that I work and I get hungry, too. HOWEVER, I plate my food last for the same reason -- hostessing and serving my family and guests, first. I was taught that setting the table you set your spot last. Or if there is an odd table setting, you keep it for yourself.

I plate my children first because 1. they're still very little and need to know that they're mother will always look out for them; and 2. because I want to be sure that they have enough food to eat. I feel like I am investing in them and their role in the family long term. I want to teach them trust, respect, and empathy within the family not just t roles and ceremonial/traditional obligation. As the only other adult in the house, my husband gets served next. If we have guests over, children are served first then the guests, then my husband, then myself. The same is if I go to my parents or family friends' homes. We all serve the children first since they can't help themselves, then guests, then the host (whether it is the female or male who is taking the lead role of hosting at that moment.)

The order will probably change once the kids get older.

I would suggest since the meat balls are round that you don’t make the potatoes round too. I would have probably made mashed potatoes and made a little mound at the top and let he meatballs spill out of it and I would decorate my plate some of the meatball sauce on the plate with my spoon. Then I’d sprinkle parsley on top.

And maybe add a pop of color like red on top as a garnish. Does this make sense?

As far as the plating I feel this is bigger issue. From Lynn perspective I always fix my plate last. SO even if there wasn’t enough I would be the one to go without. Not the children. The question is, “Does he provides the food? If he does, he should be plated first.

You stated “I realized that my mother would give my dad the most food. She said that she was taught to dothis. (It never occurred to me to check tosee if that meant my brother got the second largest portion.) ” So my question for you is did you not get enough food at times and he had abundance? The only reason to be upset that someone’s has a lot on their plate is because there was not enough on yours. I would suggest that you meditate on why you care.

Prime examples that made me think of this is the fact I hate drumsticks. I hate drumsticks because in my childhood my mother would never let me have them. When I reached for them she would say no get the drumstick you love drumsticks. No I don’t. I love wings. As I got older she said she looooves drumsticks as a child because they had the most meat. They had a big family so she would go for the drumstick so she would get the most food. I don’t like drumsticks. We had enough money to have enough food. But she passed her struggle to me. To this day I won’t cook DH drumsticks. And I think he might like drumsticks. But it’s because of the disdain I have for my mother and her control issues. I too need to meditate on this and grow for my own family. I may be wrong concerning you but I feel your issues on plating your husband first comes from another place.

And since we are working on touching them and talking to them more and being present these are all ways to show we have their back and we love them. We are working to be very high level nurturers to both children and husband. It’s a very very very small gesture (like I said before I’m talking 30 seconds between husband and child) but it makes such a big difference. I think you hit the nail on the head. You don’t like this gesture because of something from childhood. I would suggest you take time to meditate and find out what’s really really bothering you concerning this. It’s not running out of food for the children. Or making your children feel abandoned. It’s somethinf else. Strive to increase your consciousness level. (Look up consciousness chart) Forgive yourself and others then transcend. Much love.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Self preservation
I have slowed down
Every morning I wake early enough to cook myself a nice breakfast of egg whites and spinach. If this makes me late so what. I’m excellent at what I do and I wish they would.
I choose a large task a day to complete so that I’m not worn out from doing everything on the weekend- today I will unload my dishwasher.
When things get crazy at work, I pause, breathe and remind myself that it’s not more important than me.
I stay out of negative discussions about other women.
I dedicate time to myself
I am not stingy with myself
These things make me feel better and more relaxed.

 

[PeaceLover]

Week 6 Challenge
1. In your planner, plan out how the month of February will go. How will you make time for your hobbies and goals?
​

I have to have my planner lol I plan out everything. I make time for my hobbies certain hobbies daily. I run M-F mornings when I put DD on the bus. After a relaxing bath at night I take the time to moisturize my body while listening to music. I’m trying to wear something cute to bed & wearing perfume as well.

Distance yourself from toxic personalities? Establish healthy boundaries?​

I don’t interact with toxic people. I avoid seeing them in person and block them from my phone.

2. What are some ways to polish your femininity EVERYDAY? What will you do?
Taking to feminine friends, allowing men to do the heavy lifting, etc.​

3. What is your drama blocking plan? Write it out. (An extension from last week)

Avoiding negative energy & staying calm
When I’m in a stressful situation until
I can exit.

 

[PrissiSippi]

You make it to your preference

I never understood what people meant by this. That girl thicker than grits. Lol it was because I used to cook my grits in the microwave. My grits were never thick. Lol off topic I know but funny.

 

[snoop]

I would suggest since the meat balls are round that you don’t make the potatoes round too. I would have probably made mashed potatoes and made a little mound at the top and let he meatballs spill out of it and I would decorate my plate some of the meatball sauce on the plate with my spoon. Then I’d sprinkle parsley on top.

And maybe add a pop of color like red on top as a garnish. Does this make sense?

As far as the plating I feel this is bigger issue. From Lynn perspective I always fix my plate last. SO even if there wasn’t enough I would be the one to go without. Not the children. The question is, “Does he provides the food? If he does, he should be plated first.

You stated “I realized that my mother would give my dad the most food. She said that she was taught to dothis. (It never occurred to me to check tosee if that meant my brother got the second largest portion.) ” So my question for you isn’t did you not get enough food at times and he had abundance. The only reason to be upset that someone’s has a lot on their plate is because there was not enough on yours. I would suggest that you meditate on why you care.

Prime examples that made me think of this is the fact I hate drumsticks. I hate drumsticks because in my childhood my mother would never Lerner’s me have them. When I reached for them she would say no get the drumstick you love drumsticks. No I don’t. I love wings. As I got older she said she looooves drumsticks because they had the most meat. They had a big family so she would go for the drumstick so she would get the most food. To this day I won’t cook DH drumsticks. And I think he might like that. But it’s because if the disdain I have for my mother and her control issues. I too need to meditate on this and grow for my own family. I may be wrong but I feel your issues on plating comes from another place.

And since we are working on touching them and talking to them more and being present these are all ways to show we have their back and we love them. We are working to be very high level nurturers to both children and husband. It’s a very very very small gesture (like I said before I’m talking 30 seconds between husband and child) but it makes such a big difference. I think you hit the nail on the head. You don’t like this gesture because of something from childhood. I would suggest you take time to meditate and find out what’s reallt really bothering you concerning this. It’s not running out of food for the children. Or making your children feel abandoned. It’s somethinf else. Strive to increase your consciousness level. (Look up consciousness chart) Forgive yourself and others then transcend. Much love.

You are right about the mashed potatoes. I had them the night before and so I didn't want to do them again. I ate 2 full servings last night. It was good! You are definitely an artisan when it comes to plating! I appreciate these ideas...give me a couple of weeks to improve!


This femininity journey is for both of us, but I have to go s.l.o.w. Sorry if I come across as argumentative, that's not my intent...I'm taking a helluva lot of notes! These tips truly are helpful, though. All of you. You're going to be giving me the "Most Improved" certificate at the end of the year!

 

[PrissiSippi]

It's slow for all of us. This is a journey not a destination. That was soooo insightful to read. I like how you said the focus should be these are good skills to have not necessarily YOU NEED TO DO THIS CUZ YOU ARE A BOY/GIRL. I hope I'm not on a soapbox but let me step on it for a minute.

I do feel like I want my girl to be a master or cleaning and cooking and keeping a home, but I also want my son to know how to do some of these things as well to be self-sufficient. However, because he is a boy I know it won't be on the same level as a girl. And vice versa. I don't know why but I don't like it when people box themselves in like that. Like I will pretend and play damsel in distress with men...but internally I know how to do many of this stuff.

I'm sensible. If DH is NOOOOOWHERE around and no other man is around....I know how to get things done (I just don't let them know these things). I know how to kill bugs, take the garbage out, do lawn work, fix stuff/put it together, and etc. And I think it helps me not get taken advantage of too.

I strategize to get ahead. I get ahead by making my husband feel needed and it's less stressful for me.

I'm in the middle. I love Ro's tactics but I also like points by Beyond Black and White and Kendall St. Charles. I'm looking out for me and incorporating femininity because it gives me the most favorable results and "one-sided loyalty is for suckas".

I'm not plating his food because I should be in the house in an apron and Stepford Wife ish....I plate his food because it is a SMALL gesture that doesn't require ANYTHING from me but makes him feel respected. The more respected he feels the more he does for me. The more I can be pampered. The more I'm treated like his Beyonce. The less bills I'm paying. Te less stressing I'm doing. The more me and my children are protected. The more I have chance for generational success for my lineage....and that's basically that.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

I never understood what people meant by this. That girl thicker than grits. Lol it was because I used to cook my grits in the microwave. My grits were never thick. Lol off topic I know but funny.

Me either until I over cooked them

 

[PrissiSippi]

Just the other day I went to a Superbowl Party. Honestly, I was seething mad. I really could have taken the plate and possibly pied him with it. But to the world...I showed my respect to my husband. Initially I made my plate. I set it down when I remembered DH hadn't eaten and I fixed him a nice plate and brought it to him. With both hands. Then I brought him a drink. It's suuuuch a small gesture. I went down and ate with my friend girl.

Her husband came into the kitchen like AY you didn't make me a plate? She was like yeah I made you one but I put it in the microwave. He looked annoyed and went to the microwave, but didn't want it anymore. He never said anything, but because of the fact I made my husband's food, but it was his house and my husband had food and he didn't, and I bet he bought all that food....he felt disrespected. Men are action and respect driven.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Me either until I over cooked them

I like them like that now though. I let them get thick and then I add milk or cheese to them so they get creamy. Yum Yum.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

@snoop
I see what you said about being a daughter and I understand that would affect how you feel about serving. It takes time to unlearn things.
The respect/love exchanged posted upthread is real. The order you serve food in shows deference.
For men action is everything. I had to really think about what my actions were telling dh. Even inadvertently- which is why I’m here.

 

[intellectualuva]

I'm in. I have all of my answers....and then some below. Please don't quote.
-------
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner
I don't have one. Does anyone still need a partner?

Week 2: Print or Buy a planner. Make sure you write down and plan to do things that encompass your femininity. How many times will you cook for your family so they can practice dinner etiquette? How many minutes will you hold each child a day (10-15 minutes?) How will you polish your femininity EACH day, how will you spend one on one time with your spouse each day? Have you made time to go out with a female this week to talk girl talk? Make a plan, be intentional, and write it down.

With or without a family to betow upon, I aim to do the following:
1. Stop cursing. I didn't curse until I started working with mostly men and I had alot of pride when I was younger that I rarely heard my mom or aunt curse. They used to joke, a lady doesn't use profane language. Lol. It was so cute and I want to get back to that. I also want to use my words and get used to expressing myself using "feeling" words. Instead of S_!, I want to say I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, etc after taking a deep breath.
2. Wear my dresses more often
3. Create a peaceful aura around me. This will be manifested in a few ways: moving to an apartment (my current is more of an boring office as I was mostly living with SO, that may change) I actually want to live in, decorate with intention, as well as, speaking and behaving in a peaceful manner that is not easily shattered when I'm frustrated.
4. Become body spatial aware. Walking and moving intentionally. I have scrapes and bruises from bumping into things my entire life. In addition to fixing those imperfections, I want to take my time. Think before I move. I am perpetually early for everything, there is never a reason for me to constantly rush and yet I do.
5. Practice plating, table setting and cooking more meals....even if its a table for 1.
6. Already on my goal 52 Weeks - Quality Time scheduled with SO, friends and family. No more working while we watch TV together. We already made a habit of hugging and kissing the boys before school and before bed. I would add reading them a bedtime story would be a nice touch.
7. Expanding my passive income options.

I will add this to my personal planner, edit my 52 Weeks goals to accommodate.

Week 3: Be more present- Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be a phone zombie. Practice makes permanent. Constantly work on cultivating your femininity by being very present with DH, SO, your children, and friends. Choose human interactions vs social media interactions this week.
I can work on this. One of 52 weeks goals is to not get on social media before noon daily. We dont use cellphones during dinner, but like I said above I can not multitask during tv (which I am guilty of doing occasionally) after the boys go to bed and before we .

Deleted.

Oh right! I forgot that piece in FW. My husband is literally perfect so this go around it's not very applicable. And I promise I'm not being fake by saying that. The one thing I would say it's he's an extremely old school protector, that was hard to get used to because it was much like my dad I really didn't like it at first. He is a controlling person by nature but not too me in an obstuse or detrimental way, he's very protecting and he definitely makes all the decisions, you can offer your input and he'll listen but he's gonna charge ahead. He's not made a bad decision yet though. He takes care of every single thing for me, even fills out all the paperwork and makes my appointments but I absolutely love it. Recently, he not only made my dentist appointment but even rescheduled it when he wouldn't be home to 'take me' and I walked out the dentist office with having no idea or care of what happened at the front, no invoice, no paperwork or whatever. That was something that I had to accept about him I've also just grown to love it.

Awww. Yeah I used to be with a guy like this. He was awful for me in every other way except Acts of Service. Lol. SO would take care of anything related to car, house and such, but he isn't making or driving me to doctor appts. Lol. That's ok though.

Week 5 Challenge
1. Name some ways you could work on keeping your poise in trying situations.
When I am not feeling heard or understood.
When I am driving
When I am not giving myself enough grace and space to make errors.
2. NO person or incident can take you out of your feminine grace. However, this must be a very deliberate practice. What are some things you need to change about yourself to STAY in your feminine grace?
Deep breaths. Slowing down and being intentional.


Week 6 Challenge
1. In your planner, plan out how the month of February will go. How will you make time for your hobbies and goals? Distance yourself from toxic personalities? Establish healthy boundaries?
TBD
2. What are some ways to polish your femininity EVERYDAY? What will you do?
Meditate. Read my books on femininty. Visit this thread and other resources for tips and tricks. Create a list of habit of the day.
3. What is your drama blocking plan? Write it out. (An extension from last week)
Releasing the need to lead, lean, do, fix. Just be. Just breathe.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I made these cute Banana Pudding Bowls today. I didn’t realize how cute they look in these little bowls because things tend to get messy when I put it on a plate. I think I’m in love.

For Feminine Polishing I’m going to take a long bath with my dove soap and give myself a pedicure and manicure. I walked 3/4 a mile today and read a little to relax. I’m deep in training trying to learn to be a pampered princess.

This weekend I went to the reservoir and to a restaurant with some friends. So much positive energy amongst college friends. It was so phenomenal. I think I feel so revitalized when I have time to fellowship with other women.

I still working on poise. It will really take time for me to learn to be less reactive and more proactive but I like the effects.

I made sure to wear a dress everyday and yesterday I got hit on by two men just walking. Lol Two in one day? I was feeling myself a little bit.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Week 6 Challenge
1. In your planner, plan out how the month of February will go. How will you make time for your hobbies and goals? Distance yourself from toxic personalities? Establish healthy boundaries?
Hobbies: I complete a workout 3x a week and I’ve started stretching as soon as I get up in the morning. I’ve been reading a lot of fluff fiction and I purchased a new coloring book.
Goals: Nailing a perfect makeup look-
I purchased a set of daily foundation makeup-fit me Maybeline
And a set of special occasion foundation makeup- Nars
Financial- I’ve doubled my student loan payment. The faster I pay it off, the faster financial freedom comes. It is my only debt.
2. What are some ways to polish your femininity EVERYDAY? What will you do?
Engaging in my morning and nightly routines.
Wearing soft, feminine clothes
Maintaining minimal stress level
Taking my time and doing what I want to do
3. What is your drama blocking plan? Write it out. (An extension from last week)
Walking away from unpleasant situations
Really giving no cares

 

[Maracujá]

Ooohhh I'm loving the direction this thread is going

My cycle started yesterday, three days later than normal. This often happens to me, I'm unable to chart my cycle accurately, but I want to change that. Does anyone have any pointers for that? There's a book I have about it, but haven't had time to read it.

Yesterday I had the late shift, as soon as I left work I started planning my evening: took a shower with a mix of Epsom salt + Lush's body conditioner. It served me well. Then I had a conversation with my sister. Feel really distant to her since we no longer live in the same city, so that really helped.

In the morning I baked some cookies to eat after breaking my fast:

Every Wednesday I abstain from food and social media from midnight till 6pm, been doing it for 1-2 years and it's very helpful. I also do my best not to spend any money, unless it's for someone else.

Unfortunately one customer got the best of me yesterday, as he kept insisting that I was not pronouncing a German word correctly. Definitely need to work on that .

 

[janiebaby]

I'm not plating his food because I should be in the house in an apron and Stepford Wife ish....I plate his food because it is a SMALL gesture that doesn't require ANYTHING from me but makes him feel respected. The more respected he feels the more he does for me. The more I can be pampered. The more I'm treated like his Beyonce. The less bills I'm paying. Te less stressing I'm doing. The more me and my children are protected. The more I have chance for generational success for my lineage....and that's basically that.

I love this. I'm not sure if or even how I can put it into practice again. With someone else it got to the point where they just expected it and at that point I was done. There weren't enough thank yous in the world to make me go back to that. Im naturally someone who likes to serve until I start to feel like I'm being servile. Maybe I could have trained him better similar to how he was training me?

 

[intellectualuva]

I love this. I'm not sure if or even how I can put it into practice again. With someone else it got to the point where they just expected it and at that point I was done. There weren't enough thank yous in the world to make me go back to that. Maybe I could have trained him better similar to how he was training me?

Me too. The minute my goodwill goes unappreciated I'm no longer motivated to serve. It's one of the things I want to work on.

 

[Supervixen]

Hey Feminine ladies!!!! I haven't been plating much, but I have been learning to make artisan breads so I'll submit my 2nd one that I made today.

This one was prettier than yesterday's but still needs some work.

Thanks for letting me "brag" in this post.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I'm starting to notice a pattern. A lot of Ro's tactics stem from Robert Green's book the art of seduction. For example, Number 11 is Pay Attention to Detail. Lofty words and grand gestures make people suspicious. However, when you do small offhand things....you distract your victim (husband) with a myriad of pleasant little rituals. They are given thoughtful gifts just for them (which make them feel first prioritized and respected). It shows the time and attention you are giving to them....so much that they will not notice what you are really up to (your selfish needs and generational success).

Now..... this might be a little too deep/manipulative for some. Skip over if it's too dark or selfish or manipulative for you. Man, I miss Barbie in times like this. LOL. Ro says never use your femininity to be manipulative...which is what she says but her actions do the exact opposite. It's all about getting the opposite sex to do exactly what you want...a stressfree life and success for your children.

These little gestures that play up a woman's femininity: running his bathwater, putting his socks on, rubbing his feet, plating his food, serving him first, cooking well, stroking his ego, feeding him food in private, the napkin trick from Zaynab, all of it is small gestures. It's nothing big. And all of this gestures are FREE....but they seduce the opposite party. They make them feel in complete control but the woman is the one that holds the key to success. And it makes him completely abliss to this.

@janiebaby and @intellectualuva I suggest keeping the end goal in the back of your head. I'm going back to thinking....of course not every time but if I served a man in some way and he didn't seem appreciative....I wonder will playing victim work...at least in some instances. Let's say I plate DH food and he doesn't say thank you...I wondering playing up my femininity and looking super concerned and with big beautiful brown eyes saying, "Honey....is something wrong? I tried to make sure your food was special just for you. You didn't say thank you." Unless he's just a complete tar tar....he wills stammer stutter and try to correct the situation...if he is your game changer. I wonder.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Robert Green's point number 4 is to Appear to Be an Object of Desire -- Create Triangles. To be this is the exact same principle on becoming a Trophy Wife (Ro) or taking the Pink Pill (Breuklyn Bleu) or "That Girl" (LHCF).

In my experience, the black community does not allow girls to play up their looks. Then when we do we think all we need is nails and hair. That's a start but what about the total package? I remember I wanted to get a minor surgery and my mother told me someone needed to love me just the way I was (which is true). Or me playing in makeup (which is essentially just practicing my femininity) shouldn't be done because red lipstick makes you a whore. Or dressing in dresses makes you "fast" in high school. And so on.

But she dresses fairly well so I never got her disdain when growing up. I don't see other cultures doing this. They have a horrible sense of style but I see them indulge in makeup, plastic surgery, and extreme self-care practices to "create" the best version of themselves even if they were born as the ugly duckling. I'm kinda believing that this is one of our disconnects. It's OKAY and really necessary to look the best you can look. Men are very visual creatures. They never say I married this woman cuz she can cook real good. It's always because she was fine as heck (personality wise or visually) and then she cooks, clean well.

It is what it is. Men are visual. Look your best. Wear dresses vs pants. Put on classic jewelry. Lose the excess weight (you don't look like you NEED to be protected when you are big), fix your skin, whiten your teeth, smile more, whiten your eyes, take vitamins, drink water, juice. Do whatever you gotta do to create the BEST version of yourself. This is what self-care is all about. Of course, it must be done externally as well as internally....but it must be done to build feminine energy/power.

A person will desire any object just as long as they are convinced that it is desired by another person whom he admires.

 

[janiebaby]

Thanks @PrissiSippi !! What's the napkin technique?

 

[PrissiSippi]

Thanks @PrissiSippi !! What's the napkin technique?

@Zaynab can you explain again? You need to market that. Lol.

 

[intellectualuva]

I bought the Pink Pill out of curiousity folks. I'm wondering if I'll learn anything new, but I'm keeping an open mind.

Has anyone heard of Monique Heard on YouTube. She's beautiful and seems to make alot of videos about feminine allure just scrolling through. I watched her 7 habits of boring women and liked it, but hadn't had time to check out anything else.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I bought the Pink Pill out of curiousity folks. I'm wondering if I'll learn anything new, but I'm keeping an open mind.

Has anyone heard of Monique Heard on YouTube. She's beautiful and seems to make alot of videos about feminine allure just scrolling through. I watched her 7 habits of boring women and liked it, but hadn't had time to check out anything else.

I’ve been wondering about that Pink Pill. Drop us some gems in here!

I looooove Monique Head. I love all of her videos. I do think her voice is kinda masculine. It’s not sultry enough to be that deep. Like think Tboz. Her voice is so deep but raspy and kinda sexy. But hey it works for her. She has such positive energy.

 

[Supervixen]

I bought the Pink Pill out of curiousity folks. I'm wondering if I'll learn anything new, but I'm keeping an open mind.

Has anyone heard of Monique Heard on YouTube. She's beautiful and seems to make alot of videos about feminine allure just scrolling through. I watched her 7 habits of boring women and liked it, but hadn't had time to check out anything else.

Is it a book? I tried googling it and the pink "female viagra" pill kept coming up.

I need to check out Ms. Heard.

 

[intellectualuva]

Is it a book? I tried googling it and the pink "female viagra" pill kept coming up.

I need to check out Ms. Heard.

It's Christelyn's teachable course "helping black women become more polished"..it's connected to her swirling platform so I know folks think it's about bettering yourself for white men. I am not about that.

I think I'm going to email her about working with some of the black women on IG whose focus is on feminine decor, plating etc. Part of what drew me to this thread is that the latter was something I found very feminine, but alluded me. Other black women can benefit from that as well.

Anyway, I don't expect it to be oooh wow..never heard of that impactful, as I've been around LHCF forever, thrive in all sorts of ecosystem and likely the tips can be found in the Rich Man, That Girl, Sensuality thread that are War and Peace long Lol, but you never know...so I hit Enroll.

 

[Supervixen]

I've talked offline about this with @PrissiSippi and she's given me some stellar advice...I'd like to add a new goal for myself:

To be content with all circumstatial changes that occur as a result of me flourishing in femininity.

I'm so grateful to have "found" femininity, but, it has changed many of my relationships. While my marriage is flourishing, I've had to distance myself from friends and family. Each time I have had to distance myself, I am stunned, hurt, etc.

I am going to be alright with whomever I have to let go of to grow and alright with positive new people that come into my life.