52 Weeks Towards Divine Femininity

[PrissiSippi]

On accepting him as he is-
Dh is a leader. He wants to be in charge, and he wants to do what he thinks is best. And a lot of times he is right but I struggled with this.
So a perfect petty example. Dh kept telling me my face looked red and I was wearing too much makeup. This was after he’d told me he didn’t like makeup and there was no way I was going to stop wearing makeup. So I was like whatever, you just want me to be bare faced.
Y’all I was wearing the wrong color pressed powder but I was so insistent on doing what I wanted to do and not letting him boss me around that I didn’t notice until someone else pointed it out

 

[Zaynab]

@Zaynab do you have any insight on acceptance as it relates to your husband? Any growing pains? Any tips to overcome this?

What's the background on this?? Lemme read up.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Chicken Marsala with Steamed Green beans, carrots, garlic bread, and mashed potatoes with mozzarella cheese and chives.

 

[PrissiSippi]

What's the background on this?? Lemme read up.

Acceptance is really big on both Ro’s curriculum and the fascinating womanhood books. Ro calls it wabi sabi love. Fascinating womanhood focuses on meditating on what you MUST accept from your husband and not sharing this list with anyone. They feel that your husband should be physically and financially faithful to you. Everything else is not as important. The rest can be accepted. By not accepting they feel you are acting from a place of masculinity as implying you are better than your SO and you have no flaws yourself.

 

[Zaynab]

Acceptance is really big on both Ro’s curriculum and the fascinating womanhood books. Ro calls it wabi sabi love. Fascinating womanhood focuses on meditating on what you MUST accept from your husband and not sharing this list with anyone. They feel that your husband should be physically and financially faithful to you. Everything else is not as important. The rest can be accepted. By not accepting they feel you are acting from a place of masculinity as implying you are better than your SO and you have no flaws yourself.

Oh right! I forgot that piece in FW. My husband is literally perfect so this go around it's not very applicable. And I promise I'm not being fake by saying that. The one thing I would say it's he's an extremely old school protector, that was hard to get used to because it was much like my dad I really didn't like it at first. He is a controlling person by nature but not too me in an obstuse or detrimental way, he's very protecting and he definitely makes all the decisions, you can offer your input and he'll listen but he's gonna charge ahead. He's not made a bad decision yet though. He takes care of every single thing for me, even fills out all the paperwork and makes my appointments but I absolutely love it. Recently, he not only made my dentist appointment but even rescheduled it when he wouldn't be home to 'take me' and I walked out the dentist office with having no idea or care of what happened at the front, no invoice, no paperwork or whatever. That was something that I had to accept about him I've also just grown to love it.

 

[Zaynab]

I try to open in here and read, I'll get caught up. I think you ladies are doing really well. I'm not in this challenge because I don't need it but I'm always willing to offer any tips!! Abundant and Happy marriages for 218!

 

[PrissiSippi]

Oh right! I forgot that piece in FW. My husband is literally perfect so this go around it's not very applicable. And I promise I'm not being fake by saying that. The one thing I would say it's he's an extremely old school protector, that was hard to get used to because it was much like my dad I really didn't like it at first. He is a controlling person by nature but not too me in an obstuse or detrimental way, he's very protecting and he definitely makes all the decisions, you can offer your input and he'll listen but he's gonna charge ahead. He's not made a bad decision yet though. He takes care of every single thing for me, even fills out all the paperwork and makes my appointments but I absolutely love it. Recently, he not only made my dentist appointment but even rescheduled it when he wouldn't be home to 'take me' and I walked out the dentist office with having no idea or care of what happened at the front, no invoice, no paperwork or whatever. That was something that I had to accept about him I've also just grown to love it.

How did you “grow” to love it? I feel like men do this a lot better than we do. DH accepts the fact my alarm is gonna go off fifty million times before I get off or that I’m a prissy girl but I’m cheap so I will wait until the very lady minute to get my hair done. He really doesn’t care about anything. What I wear, my a million ideas, my spontaneity I feel he truly accepts it all. I TOLERATE a lot of his doing but sometimes I will admit I can treat him like a child. I never told him but I made three goals I wanted him to do. I was ”pushing him” so to speak. This ish still ain’t getting done. Why? I haven’t accepted it first. Just merely tolerated. How can u move towards accepting what drives u up the wall?

I try to open in here and read, I'll get caught up. I think you ladies are doing really well. I'm not in this challenge because I don't need it but I'm always willing to offer any tips!! Abundant and Happy marriages for 218!

lol you’re an unofficial teacher/mentor. I’m just compiling the tidbits together from the classes but I just love hearing the insight of these topics from y’all. Please keep popping in.

 

[PrissiSippi]

As it relates to Femininity this week so far

1. I did a small gesture for DH. I drove to his job and brought him lunch. An hour away. I must admit I have never been to his job and I have never brought him lunch, balloons, gifts, or nada in the entire 6 years we’ve been together. He thought I was crazy when I came. He tried to give me the money back too. Bruh I spent your money on this You just don’t know. But I did take time out of my day for him and he was utterly shocked. I might start penciling that in once a month or so and making it a mini trip.

2. I went to Sephora and asked for a natural look with a palette I already had. Of course this was free. They showed me some different color placement and some tips for my almond eyes and this look took ten minutes. My IDGAF routine will be 1. MUFE primer and foundation 2. Anastasia Modern Renaissance palette 3. Randomneutral blush 4. Sprucing up my eyebrows with the Anastasia eyebrow kit 5. Applying lipgloss 6. Better than sex mascara 7. Thin eye liner on the top eye. Any other suggestions? However as the weeks go on think of your lazy, everyday makeup look that only takes 10-15 minutes but helps you look very put together.

3. I kept my poise yesterday. DH came in a little late. I have asked that he keep in communication to me so we know where each other is. His battery ran out in his truck. I knew it was bound to happen because he had kept putting it off so he ended up stuck at Walmart for a few getting it fixed. It took everything in my head to say....I told you so, but I acted un-bothered. I looked concerned and said oh honey I'm glad you were able to figure it out and are safe and continued on with life. He just stood there expecting some kind of emotion from me. None. Well expect me laughing and playing with DS in the tub. Life kinda went on without him and he just stood there....and joined in on the fun.

 

[Zaynab]

How did you “grow” to love it? I feel like men do this a lot better than we do. DH accepts the fact my alarm is gonna go off fifty million times before I get off or that I’m a prissy girl but I’m cheap so I will wait until the very lady minute to get my hair done. He really doesn’t care about anything. What I wear, my a million ideas, my spontaneity I feel he truly accepts it all. I TOLERATE a lot of his doing but sometimes I will admit I can treat him like a child. I never told him but I made three goals I wanted him to do. I was ”pushing him” so to speak. This ish still ain’t getting done. Why? I haven’t accepted it first. Just merely tolerated. How can u move towards accepting what drives u up the wall?

lol you’re an unofficial teacher/mentor. I’m just compiling the tidbits together from the classes but I just love hearing the insight of these topics from y’all. Please keep popping in.

Oh and my hubby gets really annoyed with time being late. And traffic. it’s soooo annoying. But I just pre plan mentally that I must be ready by x time. HE literally comes in and says we are leaving at x time, I’m talking JUST errands ok, I just ignore it but on the flipside, I’m so whiney at times, no idea how he takes it. He never gets impatient or upset and he’s an inpatient person . Like at Christmas we were getting storage containers for the decorations, well I wanted all red containers of course, we went to four stores and he didn't complain. Then one day I said oh I need one more, he came home with a blue one and I almost cried so he went alllll the way back to get a red one. I would be so pissed if that were me!! I don’t think we give men enough credit for accepting our crap.we dish it out too. So we need to be concious of when we do it.

 

[PrissiSippi]

How is everyone coming along this week? What can you do to “look to his good side” more

 

[Maracujá]

Had the late shift at work yesterday. Back in the days, when I got home I would just take the container out of my fridge and heat it up, but no more. I served myself this spinach linguini with garlic breads I made on a plate, the only thing that was missing was a scented candle .

My sister has let me know she might be coming to visit me on Sunday, I plan to make this same dish for her. Hope my lil niece will also like it, my whole life is centered around making her eat more veggies .

 

[PrissiSippi]

Had the late shift at work yesterday. Back in the days, when I got home I would just take the container out of my fridge and heat it up, but no more. I served myself this spinach linguini with garlic breads I made on a plate, the only thing that was missing was a scented candle .

My sister has let me know she might be coming to visit me on Sunday, I plan to make this same dish for her. Hope my lil niece will also like it, my whole life is centered around making her eat more veggies .

Oh my gosh I LOVE YOUR PLATES! They're so dainty and classy! Your food looks so delicious as well! I would love to take a bite! How did it taste? Did you feel you got into the experience more? The entire food experience? How does it feel to eat with a candle? I need to incorporate that tomorrow night. (I typically don't cook on Thursdays)

This would be a great post for your blog BTW!

 

[PrissiSippi]

As it relates to cooking, I’ve been going to the menu sections of various restaurants that I like and try to recreate their pictures and meals. This is my starting point because I often don’t know where to start as it relates to putting meals together. This was a meal that I felt looked straight out of a restaurant that I cooked for hubby’s birthday about four months back. Coupled with wine and our dimmed dining room lights....I really felt fancy, feminine, and very present in the moment.

 

[sarumoki]

As it relates to cooking, I’ve been going to the menu sections of various restaurants that I like and try to recreate their pictures and meals. This is my starting point because I often don’t know where to start as it relates to putting meals together. This was a meal that I felt looked straight out of a restaurant that I cooked for hubby’s birthday about four months back. Coupled with wine and our dimmed dining room lights....I really felt fancy, feminine, and very present in the moment.

It looks like that Salmon New Orleans dish that they serve at Red Lobster. Like exactly like it. Except it's chicken and not fish, but wow.

Did you use a recipe or was this something you made up on your own?

 

[PrissiSippi]

It looks like that Salmon New Orleans dish that they serve at Red Lobster. Like exactly like it. Except it's chicken and not fish, but wow.

Did you use a recipe or was this something you made up on your own?

I googled the picture and it does look similar! I might try that next.

This was made up as I went along but I saw a picture in one of those What’s Cooking groups in Facebook and that made me want to try something similar.

 

[Maracujá]

Oh my gosh I LOVE YOUR PLATES! They're so dainty and classy! Your food looks so delicious as well! I would love to take a bite! How did it taste? Did you feel you got into the experience more? The entire food experience? How does it feel to eat with a candle? I need to incorporate that tomorrow night. (I typically don't cook on Thursdays)

This would be a great post for your blog BTW!

@PrissiSippi Thank you so much for the positive affirmation! The plates were purchased at Maisons Du Monde, a French store here in Belgium. The food tasted extremely well. A few days before I had taken it to work and it unsettled my stomach. I had just finished a difficult conversation with a customer before lunch. At home, it tasted 10x better.

Starting to get into the entire food experience: since it's winter and it gets dark really early, I want to incorporate a (scented) candle while watching a movie. Or use floating candles:

But...I don't have a table just yet, so it will have to wait, all in due time. And thanks for the tip about the blog post, it's up.

 

[Nicarie]

Here are some things I’m trying to accept:

1. My hubby doesn’t understand how to grow and save money but doesn’t want me to manage the finances. This is honestly the biggest issue we have. Over the years he has made several very poor purchases and in the end I covered it for him. I realize now that I was “mothering” him instead of “wifing” him so I stopped. Our current situation is that he mismanaged the bills again but I’m not saying or offering anything but encouragement. I have more than enough to cover it but I’m not. We won’t be on the street or miss any meals. I have to accept that he has to learn how to do this on his own. I’m a teacher by profession, but he’s got to learn this on his own.

2. He’s a smoker. I hate it to my core but he smokes. He keeps it outside but I still smell it. My grandma died from lung cancer but never smoked a day in her life. My grandfather smoked on the back porch every night before bed. Hubby knows that but continues.

3. He refuses to wear the newer underwear I buy for work . He claims he’s saving the good ones for me. He is so silly. He will wear old ones to work and save the good ones for the weekend. I tried throwing them out. He grabbed them and washed them.

4. His feet... enough said.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Here are some things I’m trying to accept:

1. My hubby doesn’t understand how to grow and save money but doesn’t want me to manage the finances. This is honestly the biggest issue we have. Over the years he has made several very poor purchases and in the end I covered it for him. I realize now that I was “mothering” him instead of “wifing” him so I stopped. Our current situation is that he mismanaged the bills again but I’m not saying or offering anything but encouragement. I have more than enough to cover it but I’m not. We won’t be on the street or miss any meals. I have to accept that he has to learn how to do this on his own. I’m a teacher by profession, but he’s got to learn this on his own.

2. He’s a smoker. I hate it to my core but he smokes. He keeps it outside but I still smell it. My grandma died from lung cancer but never smoked a day in her life. My grandfather smoked on the back porch every night before bed. Hubby knows that but continues.

3. He refuses to wear the newer underwear I buy for work . He claims he’s saving the good ones for me. He is so silly. He will wear old ones to work and save the good ones for the weekend. I tried throwing them out. He grabbed them and washed them.

4. His feet... enough said.

Do you have a mental plan to accept these things?

 

[Zaynab]

Here are some things I’m trying to accept:

1. My hubby doesn’t understand how to grow and save money but doesn’t want me to manage the finances. This is honestly the biggest issue we have. Over the years he has made several very poor purchases and in the end I covered it for him. I realize now that I was “mothering” him instead of “wifing” him so I stopped. Our current situation is that he mismanaged the bills again but I’m not saying or offering anything but encouragement. I have more than enough to cover it but I’m not. We won’t be on the street or miss any meals. I have to accept that he has to learn how to do this on his own. I’m a teacher by profession, but he’s got to learn this on his own.

2. He’s a smoker. I hate it to my core but he smokes. He keeps it outside but I still smell it. My grandma died from lung cancer but never smoked a day in her life. My grandfather smoked on the back porch every night before bed. Hubby knows that but continues.

3. He refuses to wear the newer underwear I buy for work . He claims he’s saving the good ones for me. He is so silly. He will wear old ones to work and save the good ones for the weekend. I tried throwing them out. He grabbed them and washed them.

4. His feet... enough said.

1. You're doing the right thing. Do not bail him out. Keep your money and a nest egg but if he doesn't pay for something, let it happen.

 

[Nicarie]

Do you have a mental plan to accept these things?

I don’t, but I need one. I’ve grown past disappointment with #1 on my list and I’m continuing to save and invest. I just don’t tell him. I do our taxes and he never pays attention to them. I consider that and #2 my 20% that he’s never going to measure up to.

Any suggestions you have are welcome.

 

[Maracujá]

Still going at it with the presentation of food. And having read this blog: reclaiming-femininity, she once mentioned that we should do things with finesse. It's not just about WHAT we do, but HOW we do it. Living so small helps me to be more mindful of my every move, otherwise I'd just be bumping into things and people all the time.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I went to my sorority’s Founders’ Day Celebration and we had a mid day tea. I felt soooo feminine and in my zone surrounded by other women who just ooze femininity. I made sure to take my time, smile, and take in the whole experience instead of rushing to get home or rushing to the end of the program. I put my phone down and really talked to the people at my table who I didn’t know. It made all the difference. I joined a committee and met some new friends!

The History of Afternoon Tea
(This was an insert on our table)​

Sugar and spice and everything nice are what little girls are supposedly made of, and they’re also essential ingredients of a traditional afternoon tea. This English custom is a sweet and civilized way to entertain, and it breaks up the day in the nicest way.

There’s something very special about this ritual. No one is quite sure when afternoon tea was first introduced in England, but the ceremony became widespread in the 1840s. Credit is given to Anna, the Duchess of Bedford, who, because of the long stretch of time between lunch and the evening meal, suffered from afternoon “hunger spells.” She remedied them with a tray of tea, bread and butter, and cake. Once she began sharing her delightful new habit with friends, it soon it progressed into a full-blown social event among the English aristocracy. The 1920s marked the height of the craze, complete with lots of guests, pageantry, servants, silver teapots, fine linens, musicians, elegant teacups, and the best tea money could buy.

It's just something special about fellow shipping with like women. Women that you can lean on for support, love, and advice. I think it is wise that we seek out women to have "tea" or at least lunch with at LEAST once a week. It really refreshes your mind. Make sure you seek out these opportunities to meet with other women or at least friends and sit unrushed and talk about your day.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Participants -
@PrissiSippi
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg




Recap
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner
Week 2: Print or Buy a planner. Make sure you write down and plan to do things that encompass your femininity. How many times will you cook for your family so they can practice dinner etiquette? How many minutes will you hold each child a day (10-15 minutes?) How will you polish your femininity EACH day, how will you spend one on one time with your spouse each day? Have you made time to go out with a female this week to talk girl talk? Make a plan, be intentional, and write it down.
Week 3: Be more present- Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be a phone zombie. Practice makes permanent. Constantly work on cultivating your femininity by being very present with DH, SO, your children, and friends. Choose human interactions vs social media interactions this week.
Week 4: Accept him- Accept him for who he is. This includes his strengths, his weaknesses, his goals, or lack of him. He is a person full of triumphs as well as flaws just like you. (This goal is continuous)

Week 5: Polish Your Poise

"You can't always be the prettiest when you step into a room, but you can ALWAYS be the sweetest. With the best smile, the warmest gaze, the most gratitude, and the most pleasant attitude, a woman's poise is her gentle strength"​

Last week we touched on acceptance. As a woman, it is natural to want to create the new and improved version of your spouse. However, it often doesn't work like this. It's important to know that we can INSPIRE change in our husbands by gentle guiding, but we cannot change anyone but ourselves. Because of this, it is important to accept our husbands and significant others just as they are. This includes ALL of their habits...not just the ones you like. Look to his good side instead of his bad. Please keep in mind this will be an ongoing exercise. Acceptance takes many people a long time to master, but it can be done. Remember, practice makes permanent.

To achieve this acceptance and carry gracefully in our day to day lives, there are several tools we need in our toolbox. The first one we will touch on this week is poise. Poise is how you present yourself in trying situations. How to do this you say? It all boils down to knowing your worth. It's about WHO you are and WHOSE you are. It's clarity and peace under pressure. NOBODY is allowed to disrupt your peace....including you. Poise...it is shown in the most graceful and elegant of women.

Let's think about some typical day to day situations:

1. Someone cuts you off in traffic? What could you do?
2. Someone steals the credit at work for something you did? Your actions?
3. Your husband says something unkind and insensitive to you?
4. He leaves his shoes everywhere even after you've asked him numerous times to stop.
5. A beautiful woman walks in the room....are you unnerved? Unbothered?



A woman of poise makes a profound impact and commands respect at the highest level....but she does it with grace. Are there areas in which your poise needs to be strengthened? How could you get here? Some tips I would recommend include:

1. Drop the need to be right- Okay we get it. You are right. Then what? Have a plan in place to only be mad about 5 minutes on things that deeply trouble you. How? Here are some steps:

1. Drop the need to be right. Go to another physical space.

2. Figure out why I'm angry. Identify the emotion.

3. Decide of it's valid. Am I overreacting? Did I hear all the needed information?

4. If I determine I was right, focus on the feeling. Not talking it out or anything. Don’t get mad…be very sad…and silent. Let him come to you. Let him lead. If he asks you what’s wrong say, “I want to talk to you but I need your help in talking”.

When do YOU decide to talk focus on how you felt…that's the emotion you mention when talking to him again. If I'm wrong, make a point to apologize in private. I felt really neglected when you forgot my birthday yesterday. Pause and let him respond.

5. Until he responds continue being sweet. But slowly begin to take wife duties away. However, take away sex LAST as men NEED sex to function.​

2. Have compassion- Where growth is needed in your husband or SO's leadership....compassion is required. If your husband makes a mistake.....ignore it. Even if he stumbles and falls and calls it to your attention....YOU didn't see it. Turn the other cheek. Have compassion and watch his leadership grow. Think about how the other person feels.

3. Stop rushing- It seems contradictory to our modern world, where everything is a rush, where we try to cram as much into every minute of the day as possible, where if we are not busy, we feel unproductive and lazy. We’ve been conditioned to believe that busier is better, but actually the speed of doing is not as important as what we focus on doing. Try to map out your day so you're not multi-tasking ALL THE TIME. Take time to just be. Think before you talk. Words are something we can dish out but NEVER take back. Other ways we rush? Do not eat in a hurry, no matter how hungry you are. Do not zip up your purse in an anxious and fast way. Be as quiet as possible and unhurried. This also means no slamming of car doors, house doors, fridge door, no matter how you feel. It is all about being in a relaxed control.

4. Have an organizational plan. Without a plan, we plan to fail. Many of the problems that we have within the house is because of a lack of organization. I know personally my husband used to complain that I would blow up about keeping the house cleaned, but he did xyz because he didn't know what to expect. He didn't know if I was going to cook or not, if towels were to go in the hamper or not (because it was too full...so he put them on the floor, and whether to fend for himself and do xyz or not) Be honest, is your home lacking organization? Take a few minutes this week to truthfully answer these questions and come up with questions of your own that meet the needs of your home.

Do you have a plan in place to keep the house running like a well oiled machine? (Towels stocked? Fridge stocked? Everyone knows where to place their things? House cleaned? Laundry folded and put away? What could you do to fix this?)
How will you greet your husband when he comes home from work?
How do you prepare the hotel room during family travel?
What is your drama blocking plan?
How can you create routine, what routines do you need in your life, and what is the purpose of routine?
What is your hospitality plan for when guests come over? Do you run like a chicken with his head cut off or are you truly prepared?​

Week 5 Challenge
1. Name some ways you could work on keeping your poise in trying situations.
2. NO person or incident can take you out of your feminine grace. However, this must be a very deliberate practice. What are some things you need to change about yourself to STAY in your feminine grace?

​

 

[PrissiSippi]

Recap​

Last week I really had to think. A family member called me and complained about being merely tolerated and not accepted by our family. And I began to think...did I tolerate or did I truly ACCEPT my spouse and how must it feel to feel as such. I started sitting back (and was able to do so because I worked on not rushing) and I started noticing little things about my spouse. The way he likes two straws in his drinks versus one. The way he loves ketchup on all of his potatoes. His skin a very dry, but he doesn't have the time to moisturize it. His shirt is missing a button. He ran out of ball cleaner for his hobby. He's been tired every day this week and has told me casually.

Am I really LISTENING or am I just tolerating this? I started to make a plan. A plan of acceptance. I know it's really really small so far, but I am going to keep a little notepad and kinda review it each week.

Oh it's easy to accept some stuff. I ACCEPT that he is very hardworking, pays our bills on time, and very hands on with DS. Yeah that's easy. However...what about ALL of it?

-If I go out to a restaurant....I will always ask for an extra straw for him....why? Because two straws... that's his thing. Pointless to me...but it's HIS thing.
-I went back to how I complain that he needs too much ketchup. We can't keep it because he goes through it so fast. It's annoying. And I'm right. He can't even taste the friggin food for all the ketchup he puts on stuff. BUT this is him. I "dropped the need to be right". I will keep our house stocked with ketchup...as long as he desires it and stop subtly complaining about the ketchup like $2 really makes a difference years from now.
-I googled a mixture to make sure he had ball cleaner. His ball cleaner he was using was $10 a bottle for 8 oz. I MADE him one with a recipe on pinterest that cost $3 to make. for over 48 oz of formula. I ACCEPT his hobby even though I don't know anything about bowling at all.
- He's been tired each day so I TRIED to do a better job at keeping DS on a night time schedule and making sure he went to sleep each night at a decent hour so DH could rest. Now DH didn't use the time to rest. He chose to do XYZ and is still "tired" but I did my part. I listened to his needs...I am on the path to acceptance...
-

 

[PrissiSippi]

Thank you! And thank you for these ideas. Some of what you suggest like hugs and cuddle times I want to but I'm so tired. The boys are 7, 5, 3, and the baby is almost 6 months. I know that they need to be cuddled, but I'm all cuddled out. I want my body back at for a day. Just one day. Haha! In all honesty, I do it, but not enough and not consistently. I'll start with that first.

I'll start greeting him at the door. I do it sometimes, but not consistently. I'll try to roll out of bed to say goodbye as well. I call him in the mornings at work to make sure that he got in OK and just to say good morning.

I'll set these as my challenges for this week.

(I need to strategize how and when I'll start deferring to DH, though. He defers to me. So it'll be interesting.)

Snoop how did it work out when you started greeting hubby at the door? Did he notice the change? Did he appreciate it?

@PrissiSippi I love it! I asked DH could we get a dimmer in the dining room because last night was a success as well. I served a well balanced 3 course meal and even the toddlers cooperated in eating. Our 3 year old decided she is ready to learn how to use her silverware appropriately. I have been fighting her for the past year on this and two nights of a well set table and she just decided she was ready!
I noticed that I was able to serve more vegetables and they were eaten, maybe because it looked more appetizing? I also didn’t have the urge to get seconds because I enjoyed sitting at the table long enough to let my brain catch up with my stomach is anyone following Ro’s “diet” plan? I am working on intermittent fasting but what she is suggesting looks nuts.

How is the 3 year old and eating? Is she still using the silverware? Does she like eating on her fancy plates lol? How's the incorporating more vegetables going? I don't follow the intermittent fasting because I don't want to lose anymore weight, but DH does this. He doesn't eat until 12:30 and then he doesn't eat again until 8. It's been going well for him.

Still going at it with the presentation of food. And having read this blog: reclaiming-femininity, she once mentioned that we should do things with finesse. It's not just about WHAT we do, but HOW we do it. Living so small helps me to be more mindful of my every move, otherwise I'd just be bumping into things and people all the time.

I think this is key to developing your femininity. Looking at cooking, I've really had to FOCUS and get into the zone of cooking. It's not about WHAT I'm doing (cooking) but HOW I'm doing it (thinking of my family's needs, being compassionate and setting a NICE table setting for them with NICE food and one NICE dishware). When I look back it's not WHAT I'm doing because I was always cooking, but it's the thought and passion, and love I've been putting into it lately. I've been trying to get the most out of every single moment.

Is a book better if I hurry up and read it fast on my phone, or if you take your time, get in the tub, turn on some music and candles, and get lost in it?

Is a song better if you skim through it while driving, or if you take the time to really listen? I've been asking some crazy (is she high) questions lately. The other day I was like in Lauryn Hill's Killin Me Softly....WHO IS KILLIN HER SOFTLY? How did he find the letters? Love letters? Fan letters? That song is sooo old but I really got into the groove of thinking about it...

Is food better if I cram it down my throat to hurry up, or if I take my time at our family table and savor every bite and really appreciate the flavor? Man I made some fried porkchops, a side salad, Cracker Barrel Hashbrown Casserole, and yeast rolls with honey butter sauce. I really FELT I was at a restaurant. I was full of course but I felt FULFILLED too afterwards. It was sooo good that I didn't want dessert. I was just fine.

Is your time spent with a friend, or your family better if you talk to them but interrupt them with facebook, instagram, emails, and text messages or if you can relax and really focus on your loved ones?

It's seeming like life as a whole is better if you go slowly, and take the time to savor it, appreciate every moment. That’s the simplest reason to slow down.

Have you had this same experience on this challenge?

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Week 5 Challenge
1. Name some ways you could work on keeping your poise in trying situations.
2. NO person or incident can take you out of your feminine grace. However, this must be a very deliberate practice. What are some things you need to change about yourself to STAY in your feminine grace?​

I had a habit of all out venting about the most minuscule things at work. I’d come home and I’d curse a bit and fuss about everything that went wrong. Now I recognize it for what it is. Income for now. I am so much more carefree. Now I share funny stories and successes. It puts me in a different frame of mind and I can feel the physiological differences. Going forward I plan to keep doing this until it becomes automatic.
People really don’t bother me much- other than family and I’ve started therapy about that.

 

[Nicarie]

Week 5 Challenge
1. Name some ways you could work on keeping your poise in trying situations.
2. NO person or incident can take you out of your feminine grace. However, this must be a very deliberate practice. What are some things you need to change about yourself to STAY in your feminine grace?

1. I keep a complaint journal. Whenever I’m in a situation where I want to fuss, I write my fussing session out. It gets me past my emotions. If it’s a serious situation I go back and read it to help me focus on what the core issue is. Sometimes it comes down to whether I’m PMSing or just tired.
2. Daily exercise, prayer and meditation is a must for me. If I skip, it’s hard to hold my tongue. I also find that the more feminine I dress, the less likely I am to go into masculine mode. Another thing that helps is being out with hubby in public. I’m much less defensive when I’m with him or another man that I trust.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Y’all I feel so fancy and relaxed when I set out the glasses and sit as a family to eat. We had breakfast for dinner last night. Super simple but it was so good.

 

[PeaceLover]

I’m working on plating my food now. I just plated breakfast. Bacon, eggs, grits & loaded hashbrowns.

 

[PeaceLover]

I want to touch on acceptance & poise!

Acceptance with DH-
I always here the phrase “you can’t control anyone, you can only control yourself” and it has really stuck with me. So when I married DH I was very clear on the man I married...flaws & all. I know how to interact with him in certain situations because that’s just who he is. For example, I don’t like when he drinks (for my own personal reasons) so instead of telling him he can’t drink I just don’t talk to him when he’s drinking. I’m not rude at all, but our convos are very limited & im still polite.

DH doesn’t take care of his health as well as I want him to. I can’t force him to go to the doctor or take days off to de-stress. He’s a workaholic. I wish he would do better & I’ve told him, but I can’t make him. So I increased his life insurance policy & pray for the best. I accept that he’s not going to take care of his health like he needs to, but I’m going to make sure that doesn’t effect me.

I guess the key is very healthy boundaries and knowing your spouse.

Poise-
When I think back on it, most of the times when I get angry it’s because I’m rushing or when I have too much stuff going on at once. Therefore, I schedule my time with enough room for delays. I leave the house a few minutes early just in case there’s traffic or I avoid going out during heavy traffic hours all together. I wake DD up earlier now so I’m not rushing her to get ready for school. I’m quick to say “I’m not able to do that” so I don’t overwhelm myself with tasks.

If all else fails & I’m stuck in traffic or an overwhelming situation I just remind myself it doesn’t matter in the grand-scheme of things. There’s really no point of getting upset of things you can’t control. And if someone is stressing me out I immediately seperate myself from that person. I try not to put myself in any situations that would require me to react out of character.