52 Weeks Towards Divine Femininity

[PrissiSippi]

Hi PrissiSippi. Planning is going well but I ended up not loving the Passion planner. I switched to Clean Mama's daily planner. I love that it focuses on the home. I heard a quote that your calendar shows where your priorities are. The Passion Planner was hourly and kept me focused on my outside employment. I wanted to focus on family and the Clean Mama planner has spaces for menu, chores, budget and health daily. It's a much better fit for emphasizing my home life.

What are some of your focuses for Home? I’m revisiting that house organization month we had on here. I’m atruggling keeping up because I’m just not naturally a neat person and honestly I have too much stuff lol. It’s better but not perfect.

 

[PrissiSippi]

As it relates to networking with others, one tip that I learned was to text one concept at a time.
Only text/talk about one thought at a time.

This guy messaged me on Facebook and asked me two questions: what were my hobbies and where do I work.

Him: What are you hobbies
Him: Where do you work
Me: Oh I love doing some of everything. I love to write poetry. I sing from time to time. I have a garden.
Me: What do you like to do?

I answered the first question, but deflected the second question because I personally don't like it when men who don't know you well start off asking where do you work. However, men do this tactic as well. They deflect and avoid the parts of the conversation they do not want to answer.

We should strive not to bombard our loved ones with many texts at one time. Stay on topic. It will take more time in the forefront but the conversation will be more effectively and focused.

 

[snoop]

What are some of your focuses for Home? I’m revisiting that house organization month we had on here. I’m atruggling keeping up because I’m just not naturally a neat person and honestly I have too much stuff lol. It’s better but
not perfect.

If you have the time (or interest) you should try the KonMarie method. "We" got rid of so much stuff! I can't believe how much. But I haven't hit the sweet spot yet and I feel there is still WAY too much stuff here. Junk. Mostly children's knick knacks disguised as "toys". I've been working on tidying up my bedroom today and getting rid of undesirables (clothes, papers, etc.)

Putting my stuff away doesn't come naturally to me, therefore, I need to just throw things out. The fewer things that I have to put away, the less daunting a task tidying would be. Then I would be able to spend more time actually deep cleaning on the regular (baseboards, light switches, heating vents and the like). I have an app that I have called "Chore Checklist Lite" (free version) that is showing me that I'm overdue on stuff like that.

I need to find some feminine inspiration that are causal and in pants.

 

[PrissiSippi]

If you have the time (or interest) you should try the KonMarie method. "We" got rid of so much stuff! I can't believe how much. But I haven't hit the sweet spot yet and I feel there is still WAY too much stuff here. Junk. Mostly children's knick knacks disguised as "toys". I've been working on tidying up my bedroom today and getting rid of undesirables (clothes, papers, etc.)

Putting my stuff away doesn't come naturally to me, therefore, I need to just throw things out. The fewer things that I have to put away, the less daunting a task tidying would be. Then I would be able to spend more time actually deep cleaning on the regular (baseboards, light switches, heating vents and the like). I have an app that I have called "Chore Checklist Lite" (free version) that is showing me that I'm overdue on stuff like that.

I need to find some feminine inspiration that are causal and in pants.

This is exactly how I feel. My motto is that if I cannot clean DS's room in 15 minutes, he has too much stuff. But it seems like I'm struggling. I'm holding on to stuff under the guise of I hope I have another child...and what if it is a boy as well. Look at all of these wonderful clothes I would have for Baby #2. I honestly just need to give the things away but I'm fearful. I did declutter my living room and I LOVE how it ALWAYS stays clean. I really need to adopt a new room and declutter that room as well.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I would save the no makeup, regular look only for an activity that calls for it, like biking, hiking or working out together. However, I still think a waterproof mascara is acceptable. LOL

He could be saying this to you for a lot of reasons. Maybe he's insecure, or too lazy and doesn't want to step up his game just like you figured. Or, he could be trying to see how much he can control or manipulate you. Demanding that you spend the day with him leads me to believe he's trying to see how much he can control your actions. Regardless, his feelings really don't matter. Changing yourself for others hardly ever leads to fulfillment. Be happy with yourself and all of your glorious femininity! What he wants is irrelevant.

I love how you got what you wanted with a pleasant and feminine attitude.

I really kind of feel this is the case. And thank you I am working soooo hard on checking my emotions at the door and leaving them there when I interact with him.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I still need to work on not correcting:

Him: How old is your son? I’ve known him for 6 months now. I can’t believe I’ve known him 1/3 of his life.
Me: DS is 22 months. 6/22 is actually 27%
Me: Maybe 1/4 of his life.
Him: So 33% is so different from 25%??

Looking back....was the correction needed? Why couldn’t I just let him have that? I was just mindlessly talking. Plus I just couldn’t believe it had been that long. I'm trying to be more mindful of my words and realize correcting your significant other wounds a person’s pride and creates resentment.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Week 39: How to be a Feminine Networking Star... Wherever You Are

Be a Networking Star....Wherever You Are
​

1. Go with a purpose. Remind yourself why you are there. Give yourself mini goals each time you go out. Examples: I will meet 2 men and 1 woman. I will get 2 phone numbers. I will get 10 business cards. I will have 5 great conversations. Keep the end-goal in mind. (This also means looking the part. The better your appearance looks, the more people will be drawn to you. Look GOODT!)

2. Use inside contacts. Ask someone for an introduction to important people.

3. Go alone. More people means more competition. Talking to people who you already know will lessen your chances of meeting new ones. Separate to Elevate. If you are dating....separate yourself from your friends so you can stand out. Men are often afraid to approach a group of women out of concern of rejection.

4. Control your Body Language. Be friendly, look good, and SMILE with lots of eye contact. What is your body language saying about you? Do you have resting chick face? lol Get rid of it! Be aware of how you stand, how your arms are placed, how you are smiling, and more.

5. Break the ice. Breaking the ice can be as simple as commenting on the event, giving a compliment to the other person, or just friendly non-sexual touch.

6. Ask open-ended questions. These are questions that ask who, what, where, when and how – as opposed to questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. Your goal is to explore ideas and opinions and also to show your listening skills.

7. Location is everything. Sit near the END of the bar. Once people get their drink, the next step is to figure out where to go....that's where you come into play. If you are standing near the bar, you are at hte first line of sight.

8. Put your name tag on your upper right side. This is the side people lean into when they shake your hand or hug you.

9. I'll keep movin' on....like Mya- Keep interactions short. Once you get a date's number, or you have found out you're not interested...move on. Have a task in your back pocket to leave. Examples are running to the door to greet someone you know or leaving to refill your drink at the bar.

10. Brush up on your Etiquette. Everything we learned so far counts. How will you sit down? How will you stand? How do you walk up and down stairs? How will you get out of the car? How will you greet others? What body etiquette will you use?

Examples of Open-Ended Questions​

• How did you learn of this meeting/event? (If it’s not obvious.)
• Have you been here before? If yes, what brought you back?
• Do you know a lot of people here? (If so, who?)
• What kind of work do you do? (Again, if it’s not obvious.)
• What company do you work for?
• How long have you been at it?
• Do you like what you do?
• What is it about your work you like most? Least?
• What are you looking for here?
• Do you have a target market? (If so, great! If not, why not?)
• How do you market your business?
• What does a perfect prospect look like for you? Why?
• What do you do for fun? (Sports, kids, vacation, hobbies, etc.)
• What can I do to help you? (If I like them!)

Week 39 Challenge​

1. How do you work a room? What tips do you have?
2. Go out. Work a room this week. What is your goal? (Meet 2 men and 1 woman? Get one business contact? Smile 10 times and wink 3? What is your personal goal?)
3. What's your plan to keep movin on like Mya? What's your go to task to leave the conversation?[/QUOTE]
I’m leaving the classroom at the end of this year so this is likely to be very important.
1. I try to have open body language and a pleasant facial expression. Having rbf is not something to be proud of so I’ve worked to change that.
3. The restroom, to refresh a drink or get water. Or I notice someone else I’d like to speak to so I do that with an excuse me.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

I don't like it how the guy I date doesn't like my makeup. He is always telling me he would rather see me with my natural hair in a puff with no makeup on regular clothes. I slick feel like this is because it allows him not to put his A game on. When I'm looking like regular degular Priss, he doesn't have to worry much or work that hard to get me.

However, when I put on the makeup, the dresses, the purses, the smile, and scents....all bets are off. He HAS to bring his A game or risk losing me. I stopped wearing the makeup for ONE day. Then I was like...cmon Priss. Just do what you would like. Wear your makeup and dresses if it makes you happy girl! And I did just that! This guy looks like a sad puppy dog everytime he sees me leave lol.

I also put myself first yesterday. He called me up and kinda demanded that he have all of my day. No, thank you sir. I hit him with my sweet voice, "Oh I had other plans honey. I'll have to catch up with you later." I went out by myself and went to a car, watched the game, talked to a few men, got all my drinks and food for free and THEN met up with the guy afterward. Because of it, I had an event packed day, free food, and HE STILL took me out. I was proud of myself for not jumping to his every request. AND THEN I did it in a nice and feminine way.

He doesn’t want to compete for your attention. Every now and then dh tries it and I just give him a smile and keep primping.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Week 39 Challenge​

1. How do you work a room? What tips do you have?
I always stand out. Either I wear a bright pearl necklace or flashy shoes or a nice lip color. I wear SOMETHING that you remember when I leave.
2. Go out. Work a room this week. What is your goal? (Meet 2 men and 1 woman? Get one business contact? Smile 10 times and wink 3? What is your personal goal?)
I plan to probably go to this Lounge tonight. I will make it my business to meet 2 people and engage in convo with them.
3. What's your plan to keep movin on like Mya? What's your go to task to leave the conversation?
If they get boring or the convo is too long, I will reiterate something I liked in their conversation and say I would love to continue to talk and it was a pleasure meeting you but I have to xyz and excuse myself.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I learned a little tidbit today. My friend from Africa told me she was told not to serve her husband with one hand because it seems like you have an attitude about it or really don't want to do it. She told me to hold the plate with one hand and hold it out like...Here. And then she told me to grab the same place with two hands and say, "Here is your food". She asked me which one felt softer, appreciative, and loving. Growing up I would hand you a bowl, plate, cup, or anything in a minute like, *huh* here you go. I can visualize how with two hands it looks more thought out.

OAN: She went into some more talk about how in her country (Zambia) they go to marriage classes before they marry to teach them small tidbits such as how to clean, being protected by your husband, learning how to cook properly, and positions. I think it's so fascinating how different cultures can be.

 

[PrissiSippi]

The more you show yourself self-love and in turn increase your self-awareness, the more irresistible and feminine you become.

Feminine Ladies, how have you/ will you showed yourself some self-love today?​

 

[naturalfinally]

He doesn’t want to compete for your attention. Every now and then dh tries it and I just give him a smile and keep primping.

As much as I love DH, I primp for me. Just for the record, we've been married for 24 years and together for 26. Right after we got married, I wore a dress that (his words) "made my body look like a coke/pepsi bottle" and that it was my "I'm trying to get a man" dress!! Yes ladies, he went there! He also started harping on my make-up and how he'd love for me to go without it. Not only have I been wearing making since I was 10 (my daddy bought my first set of play make-up for my 10th birthday) I've always loved my clothes. Had to sit my love down and tell him in no uncertain terms that I dress for me and I will always wear make-up. Not because I'm trying to hide anything but because it makes me FEEL GOOD! I call it my game face! I'm on when I dress up and put on my make-up. I don't know what the day will bring but whatever it does, I'm ahead of the game.

I haven't had to do that in so many years that it's a natural part of our life. Shoot, he knows what type of pantyhose I like and will buy them if I get a run. Being the thrifty man that he is, he will even look for bargains and try to buy the m in bulk!!

I said all of that just to say, They can be TRAINED!!

 

[Brwnbeauti]

As much as I love DH, I primp for me. Just or the record, we've been married for 24 years and together for 26. Right after we got married, I wore a dress that (his words) "made my body look like a coke/pepsi bottle" and that it was my "I'm trying to get a man" dress!! Yes ladies, he went there! He also started harping on my make-up and how he'd love for me to go without it. Not only have I been wearing making since I was 10 (my daddy bought my first set of play make-up for my 10th birthday) I've always loved my clothes. Had to sit my love down and tell him in no uncertain terms that I dress for me and I will always wear make-up. Not because I'm trying to hide anything but because it makes me FEEL GOOD! I call it my game face! I'm on when I dress up and put on my make-up. I don't know what the day will bring but whatever it does, I'm ahead of the game.

I haven't had to do that in so many years that it's a natural part of our life. Shoot, he knows what type of pantyhose I like and will buy them if I get a run. Being the thrifty man that he is, he will even look for bargains and try to buy the m in bulk!!

I said all of that just to say, They can be TRAINED!!

Same thing I told mine. Your opinion matters but mine supersedes yours.

 

[PrissiSippi]

As much as I love DH, I primp for me. Just or the record, we've been married for 24 years and together for 26. Right after we got married, I wore a dress that (his words) "made my body look like a coke/pepsi bottle" and that it was my "I'm trying to get a man" dress!! Yes ladies, he went there! He also started harping on my make-up and how he'd love for me to go without it. Not only have I been wearing making since I was 10 (my daddy bought my first set of play make-up for my 10th birthday) I've always loved my clothes. Had to sit my love down and tell him in no uncertain terms that I dress for me and I will always wear make-up. Not because I'm trying to hide anything but because it makes me FEEL GOOD! I call it my game face! I'm on when I dress up and put on my make-up. I don't know what the day will bring but whatever it does, I'm ahead of the game.

I haven't had to do that in so many years that it's a natural part of our life. Shoot, he knows what type of pantyhose I like and will buy them if I get a run. Being the thrifty man that he is, he will even look for bargains and try to buy the m in bulk!!

I said all of that just to say, They can be TRAINED!!

This is so cute! Happy spouse happy house.

I LOVE to look good. I just LOVE it. It makes my day go better, it makes me feel good, and it sets the tone in my interactions with others. I'm rocking my nice hairstyle, makeup, a smile, and I'm headed to a nail appointment as SOON as I get off today #GameOn lol

 

[PrissiSippi]

Worked on thing it all together today.

Changing Rituals into Routines
Getting some Sunshine
Being Present

I decided to get some fresh air this morning. To make the day feel special, I put on my nice matching workout outfit instead of merely throwing on something. I had my matching water bottle. Even my shoes matched lol. I decided to turn off my music and just be... Instead of listening to music the entire way I actually put my phone away (I’m addicted to my phone) and started talking. I kept the conversation on him. I stay very present with him towards my interactions, soft touches, feminine charm by touching my hair and longer gazes with my eyes. We had an amazing time.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Are you me? I could have written this post from start to finish. I have a few more months to go before being debt-free, and I wasn't looking to spend any money either, but I was invited to Emerald Bay this weekend, and I only have to buy my ticket. Everything else is included. I'm packing tonight for a two-day refresher.

(eta: Got back last night, and it was AMAZING!!! Great weather, great food and wonderful activities. Swam with the pigs and got my first massage.
Only two days, but was just what was needed. CAm2717, enjoy yourself.)



THIS.

How was the trip love?! Did you have a great time?

 

[PrissiSippi]

I really want to let down my guard and allow men to help me. That is the biggest problem I have, letting go of control and being vulnerable in a relationship, or to just allow a man to help me period (or anyone). I only accept help if I REAAAALLY need it. Trying to break this habit, but it is HARD because it is my personality trait.

My parents use to always brag about how independent I was since I was a baby (lol), never asking for help. In school I never asked them for help with my work, I pretty much did it all without their help and they found that so awesome, you kind of become PROUD of being so self sufficient.

But that attitude carries over into everyday life too, because I am like, "I got this." I can sometimes feel like accepting help is a sign of weakness and refuse it, even when I probably needed it lol. Sigh. It is tough, and I doubt I will break this habit like today or tomorrow, but I am aware of my flaw and trying to work on it more...

I saw this post from Sami Wonder and thought about you.

Women tell me: "I can do this myself. I want him to know I'm confident and independent."

"Of course, you can do it yourself," I tell them. "In the 21st century and in the developed world, most women can do most things themselves, but rubbing this kind of confidence into a man's face is a very masculine (ego-centric) way of being."

Feminine confidence looks very different.

Feminine confidence understands that it is not about "doing it yourself", but "having the courage to allow a man to do it for you", because DEEP DOWN within yourself, you know that you could indeed do it yourself if he wasn't there !!!

Feminine confidence understands that you're not a helpless, needy doormat in constant crisis if you let a man be the hero around you. Instead, you're a confident diva goddess, who is allowing her man to give to her and bond with her. And how much more powerful that is vs. a woman who insists on "masculine confidence" and pushes her man away.

Feminine confidence looks quiet and receiving, instead of loud and show-offish!

I still remember how, when I used to be in my masculine confidence in my university days, men would be initially attracted to me. However, very quickly they also disappeared because I unknowingly emasculated them - I constantly showed off, I boasted of all my achievements and how much money I made, I didn't even allow them to open doors or pay my date meals because I wanted to show that " I can do it myself."

I also remember feeling envious of the feminine women around me - judging them for being "dumb", but secretly feeling jealous of how they had the knack for making men run around them, quietly and confidently!

The point I'm making here, divas, is that it helps to invest in learning what feminine confidence looks like around men because the art and energy with which we practice confidence (masculine or feminine) can either empower our man in the relationship to become "more of a man" ...

... OR it can emasculate him, leaving him feeling less than, leaving him feeling like there's nothing he can do to make us happy.

So today, I want you to stop and give it a thought: which kind of confident are you?

Are you transferring your masculine confidence from work into your romantic relationships, or are you the feminine confident?

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I am PURGING my closet!! This is really hard for me because I like to hold on to everything...but that is a symbol of my being blocked. I am learning to LET GO. I'm also upleveling my wardrobe and accessories so the reality is getting rid of old stuff makes room for newer and better quality stuff. Letting go/detachment/receiving is a feminine quality.

 

[awhyley]

How was the trip love?! Did you have a great time?

@PrissiSippi, it was amazing!!! From the moment we arrived, I could feel the stress melting away. Their mattresses are awesome, (which reminds me that I have to check with them on their brand). The food was excellent, (we tried a different restaurant for every meal), and there was even complimentary boos provided. The swimming tour was an excellent value and so much fun. I wasn't planning on doing any swimming (left my swimsuit home just to make sure), but there I was in the water, splashing away like a 2nd grader. Finally, now I'm hooked on massages. The massage therapist recommended a great place in Nassau, so I'm planning on when I can get the next one booked.

The forecast was scheduled to be rainy and overcast, but the weather couldn't have been more dreamy. When we got there, it was pitch dark so waking up the following morning to the pic below was idyllic. Definitely going there again.

 

[PrissiSippi]

@PrissiSippi
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@Belle Du Jour
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@snoop
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Recap

January- Let's Get It Started
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner
Week 2: Print or Buy a planner. Make sure you write down and plan to do things that encompass your femininity. How many times will you cook for your family so they can practice dinner etiquette? How many minutes will you hold each child a day (10-15 minutes?) How will you polish your femininity EACH day, how will you spend one on one time with your spouse each day? Have you made time to go out with a female this week to talk girl talk? Make a plan, be intentional, and write it down.
Week 3: Be more present- Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be a phone zombie. Practice makes permanent. Constantly work on cultivating your femininity by being very present with DH, SO, your children, and friends. Choose human interactions vs social media interactions this week.
Week 4: Accept him- Accept him for who he is. This includes his strengths, his weaknesses, his goals, or lack of him. He is a person full of triumphs as well as flaws just like you. (This goal is continuous).

February- Tools Every Woman should Have in her Toolbox
Week 5: Polish Your Poise- No one can take you out of your feminine grace except you. Work on not being reactive to problems and asserting your needs but in a gentle way with your actions. Work on your look, attitude, gratitude, gaze, and overall spirit.
Week 6: Self Preservation is Key- Learn to protect your peace. Put YOU first. Have a drama blocking plan to protect yourself.
Week 7: What's in a Voice- Work on your feminine voice. Smile. Have a sing-song sweet voice at all times...especially times of struggle.
Week 8: Look Good and Rock Your Wardrobe- Aim to look feminine, put together, and GOOD every day.
Week 9: Turn Rituals Into Routine

March- Home Living
Week 10: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 11: Focus on Your Home Aromas
Week 12: How Clean Is Your Home
Week 13: Set the Tone in Your Home: Make Your House a Haven

April- Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Clean Up Your Social Media Accounts
Week 15: Be more mysterious: Work on your Feminine Mystique
Week 16: Take the Help/Compliments
Week 17: Got Milk? Milk Baths

May- Strategically Selfish
Week 18: You Are the Prize
Week 19: Don’t Let them Move Your Goal Post
Week 20: Put On Your Oxygen Mask First
Week 21: Drop the need to be Right: Focus Instead
Week 22: Who are Your Male Vouchers?!

June- Feminine Refinement
Week 23: Leisure Time/ Become Well Read
Week 24: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 25: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 26: Communication 101: Stay in Control

July-
Week 27: Everything can be used against you.
Week 28: Compassionate
Week 29: Know Yourself What's your Feminine Archetype?'
Week 30: Use your Feminine Archetype to become a Force - Hone In On It
Week 31: Wine A Bit; You'll Feel a Little Bit Better

August - Etiquette
Week 32: Staircase Etiquette
Week 33: Pose for Life - Crossed Legs Pose
Week 34: Keep it Classy (Exiting car doors)
Week 35: Sitting pretty

September- The Opposite of Networking is “Not Working”
Week 36: Who Do You Admire: Interview Them
Week 37: Join a Group of Like-Minded
Week 38: Make it Intentional - Date Night
Week 39: How to be a Feminine Networking Star... Wherever You Are

October-Feminine Hobbies
Week 40: Affirmations: Affirming our Femininity

"I am in charge of how I feel and I CHOOSE to feel happiness." "I am willing to see things differently." Say this phrase out loud. How does it feel when you say it? What affirmations do you have over your life? Your husband/significant other's lives? Your children's lives? Affirmations are positive phrases that you repeat to yourself. When you first start saying these phrases, they might not be true. However, they reflect what you WANT. Over time, this consistent repetition of positivity helps change your beliefs about yourself. Keep in mind, affirmations is NOT an end-all. Problems can only be tackled through reflection AND taking actions towards changing them.

There are many ways you can seek to use affirmations. Some people write their affirmations down at the same time every day. Others say them out loud as a morning or night time ritual. Some incorporate affirmations within their meditations and use the Law of Attraction to Visualize what they want to manifest in their lives. As divinely feminine women, we seek to cultivate more femininity, positivity, peace, and self-love in our lives. Let's focus on implementing the use of affirmations this week and continue this challenge in the background for 30 days as a 30 Day Challenge to manifest femininity, grace, compassion, and love in our day to day lives.

Sample Feminine Affirmations​

1. I move my body with intention and love.
2. I am becoming a more confident, feminine, attractive, and graceful woman every day.
3. I am a feminine woman of high standards and I attract positive and successful people.
4. I radiate love and respect, and in return I get love and respect.
5. I approve of myself and feel great about myself. I love and accept myself unconditionally.
6. My high self-esteem enables me to respect others, and get respect in return.
7. I am a unique and very special person. I am strong and balanced. I am like a tall tree with thick and strong roots, connecting deep into mother earth.
8. I am bathing in a river of courage and strength.
9. I am a determined woman who has all the resources to achieve my goals.
10. I am at peace with my body and form.
11. I listen to my body’s needs with respect and kindness.
12. I feel more beautiful now than I did yesterday.
13. I am the Divine light of love.
14. I am a beautiful, feminine, passionate woman.
15. I'm a magnet for abundance.

Challenge 40
1. What areas of your life as it relates to femininity do you need to focus your affirmations on?
2. What affirmations will you say?
3. How will you use them? Say them out loud every day as your wake up? Recite them as you drive to work? Recite them before bed? Journal them and say them out loud? Meditate with them?

 

[PrissiSippi]

Ladies, this week focuses on affirmations but in our personal lives as we seek femininity I encourage you to stop paddling the boat. Make this your default position. Live in the present and let your femininity radiate. This means that you don’t focus so much on MEN and instead you dive deep into your passions, hobbies, happiness, and life. Have fun.


1) Stop paddling the boat verbally - speak LESS than you talk. It creates space for him to lead and feminine mystique which is intoxicating and attractive. Space and mystery allows men to step into that problem-solving and leadership role by indirectly getting him to lead the convo. Stop paddling the boat by not texting or calling a man first in the first few months of the relationship. ("I'm not big at texting, it would feel good to hear your voice" is a great line to use in creating boundaries when dating.) Stop initiating conversation when on dates. Instead of asking questions, letting him take the masculine role of leader. Refrain from asking him why he hasn’t called


2) Stop paddling the boat mentally - FOCUS ON YOU! Focus on your hobbies. Focus on feeling good. Those that want to be happy...are. 90% happiness from you and only 10% from him; don’t forget this. When you take care of yourself you can take care of others. Refrain from wasting the whole day thinking about your significant other. Of course we all think about those we love...but the WHOLE DAY? NO! It's important to be feminine but it is ALSO important to be balanced and NOT codependent and over-invested.

3)Stop paddling the boat physically - Take your time. Don't rush. Just be. A friend of mine struggled to carry the baby in a carseat, her purse, and a bag of groceries inside instead of merely calling her husband and saying, "Honey can you help me?" She was like I can do it for myself. It is quicker this way. I don't want t burden him. He was watching the game. Sis, he doesn't MIND rescuing you. It's in his DNA. Take the time to SLOW DOWN and take off the superwoman cape. LET HIM HELP YOU PHYSICALLY. Let him open your doors. Let him carry heavy objects including the baby. Let him pay the bills. Let him pick the restaurant. Let him drive. Relinquish all that control.

4) Stop paddling the boat energetically - Don't bring up or buy him a Christmas/Birthday present unless he buys and gives you one FIRST. (If you buy one for him, make sure he gives you a present first and THEN give him his....return his present if he doesn't give you one)Don't text him incessantly all day throughout the day when he's at work. Don't micro-manage his FB activity. Don't micro-manage what he wears to work. Don't micro-manage how much you don't focus your attention on whose pictures he's liking or not liking. Don't micro-manage how he cuts the grass. Don't micro-manage how he talks with his friends. Stop trying to control his eating habits or follow his every movement. Stop solving his problems. He's a man. He will figure it out. Accept him for who he is. Not for what you want him to be. Just be. Just live in the present. Follow his lead
Respond with honey when he reaches out .. go about your business keeping yourself happy in meantime whilst he’s not around. Always do you. Head out and do things while he is away to take your mind off him and then when he does reach out your have some upbeat things to talk about and he’ll be like Wow and excited to chat to you and miss you like crazy. Men love to hear us happy, it makes them happy too

5) stop paddling the boat seductively

-Instead of initiating the situation, create a sensual environment . . . whether that means wearing lingerie, perfume, makeup, candles, soft music (you get the idea)
-Instead of suggesting, demanding, or otherwise taking control of the situation, GAZE at him (while you silently entertain all of those ideas)

Let him be your hero. Be open and happy to receive. Let him paddle the boat.

6. stop paddling the boat socially

When he asks you for pictures on dating sites and facebook....don't send it to him. Let him see you in person and TALK to you socially. Make him earn that privilege. He hasn't even met you yet! He most likely texts multiple women and forgot who you were that's why he asked for a picture to remind him. YOU ARE THE PRIZE, not him. Stop trying to pick out a date spot. Let him do the leg work. And when he gives you his number to call him leaning back looks like “Oh thank you honey. I’ll save it so I’ll know who is calling when you call ” (Meaning you’re still expecting to be cherished and pursued by leaning back and allowing him to do such instead of calling him first). When there is silence in the conversation during a date, socially leaning back means you just make eye contact with him & flash a broad smile and wait for him to lead the convo. Let him start a new topic!! You can add to the convo and add humor and playfulness but you kinda go with the flow of his tempo. Flooding his social media with comments and likes from you to “show” him that you like him? NOPE! Socially we don't micro-manage his Social media activity, we don't focus our attention on whose pictures he's liking or not liking (You don’t even bring up other women because they don’t exist...only you),

6. stop paddling the boat by OVER-nurturing
You don’t remind him to eat his vegetables (mothering), You don’t tell him he should work out, You don’t expect him to spend every second with me. When I ask him to do something (like put air in my tires) even if he says no I give him space to say yes and come through with doing it by not energetically solving the problem for myself and putting air in the tires myself. If you don’t like his work clothes you don’t try to correct him and change his clothing in efforts to “help”.


You remember that to give up the need to control and just...be in your feminine is not a ploy or strategy to get him to notice you. You remember that to stop paddling the boat and leaning back is emotional security and a high value feminine energy stance that naturally and universally attracts masculine energy men. "Don't be a hard rock. Baby girl you are a gem." -Lauryn Hill

In what ways could you stop paddling the boat?

 

[Maracujá]

^^^All very good points.

Well, in my case, I think I'm still hurt because of what happened in my first relationship: I remember one time asking my ex to loan me €20.00 so I could take the train to another city - mind you it was to go work, so I was going to pay him back - and he gave me the roundabouts, hesitated and made me feel like I was never to ask him for any money. EVER.

As a result I just take care of myself financially and never really make my financial needs known to anyone. Most people just assume I'm swimming in money when it's hardly the case. There were other incidents besides this one, but I digress. So for me it's def financially, I don't know what it looks like for a man to provide for me financially. A Congolese girlfriend of mine, mentioned that her DH paid off all her debt and always buys her perfume when he's at a BSS, I was floored.

 

[PrissiSippi]

^^^All very good points.

Well, in my case, I think I'm still hurt because of what happened in my first relationship: I remember one time asking my ex to loan me €20.00 so I could take the train to another city - mind you it was to go work, so I was going to pay him back - and he gave me the roundabouts, hesitated and made me feel like I was never to ask him for any money. EVER.

As a result I just take care of myself financially and never really make my financial needs known to anyone. Most people just assume I'm swimming in money when it's hardly the case. There were other incidents besides this one, but I digress. So for me it's def financially, I don't know what it looks like for a man to provide for me financially. A Congolese girlfriend of mine, mentioned that her DH paid off all her debt and always buys her perfume when he's at a BSS, I was floored.

I'm really self-sufficient as well because of my past experiences, but I'm really working hard to wrap my mind that I deserve and expect provision and protection from men. What's $23 to a man that loves me? I can't word this very well. Can someone else chime in?

 

[PrissiSippi]

Has anyone tried this method? Maybe this is a tool we could use instead of "telling" our loved ones what to do.

Sandwich Technique​

Appreciation Bread- I see that you’re really trying to get us to this meeting on time. I really appreciate it.

Cheese- I’m so sorry I took so long to get ready

Meat- But, I feel so terrified when you drive fast.

Appreciation Bread- I appreciate you trying to get us there so fast but we’re spending time together. I can’t think of any place I’d rather be. Can we slow down?



Appreciation Bread- I really admire your leadership honey and appreciate how hard you work.
Cheese- I realize spending time with your friends helps you relax.
Meat- I know that’s important…but I’ve been feeling like it’s getting in the way of our time together. Do you think you could stay home one day this week so we could have a Family Day?
Appreciation Bread- I just want to make as memories together as possible.

Notice that we used "feelings statements." We didn’t say, “You’d rather go over to your friends house than spend time with me.” Instead, I stated, “I’ve been feeling like…”

 

[Maracujá]

Some random areas I'm paying attention to:

* How I type on my keyboard: not too aggressively
* How I get off public transport: use to stand up before the bus actually stopped, the result was stumbling all over the place. No more.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I cooked and plated some Tuscan Chicken for dinner last night. I was prancing around in my little frilly apron and just laughing as I played with DS and SO. I have to admit it felt good lol. Mmm mmm mmm mmm good (like the chicken noodle soup) *insert TheRemixGod’s Delivert video*

I would have never thought to mix both green beans and asparagus together. It was so good. I put some rum in the pan and set it ablaze. The baby was like....she has clearly lost her mind. Lol.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Some random areas I'm paying attention to:

* How I type on my keyboard: not too aggressively
* How I get off public transport: use to stand up before the bus actually stopped, the result was stumbling all over the place. No more.

Lol I wonder how do i type? Many days I’m like....who are you rushing for?!

 

[PrissiSippi]

Challenge 40
1. What areas of your life as it relates to femininity do you need to focus your affirmations on?
I need to focus my affirmations on wealth and love.
2. What affirmations will you say?
I am a powerful feminine woman who is covered, protected, and loved by many.
I choose to go out into the world and shine my light.
I choose to give men the opportunity to FEEL like men because I choose to be feminine and open to receive.
3. How will you use them? Say them out loud every day as your wake up? Recite them as you drive to work? Recite them before bed? Journal them and say them out loud? Meditate with them?
Say them every morning when I wake up.

 

[PrissiSippi]

@PeaceLover made a nice stuffed salmon and bacon wrapped asparagus dish. Yummy!

 

[PrissiSippi]

#DinnerEtiquetteTrivia How far away should lower edges of silverware and plates be placed from the edge of the table? #FineDiningFemmes
A. One Inch
B. Two Inches
C. Three Inches
D. Four Inches

Spoiler

Answer: The lower edges of the utensils should be aligned with the bottom rim of the plate, about one (1) inch up from the edge of the table.

#DinnerEtiquetteTrivia How would one use the soup spoon? #FineDiningFemmes

Spoiler

Answer. Dip the spoon sideways into the soup at the near edge of the bowl, then skim from the front of the bowl to the back. Sip from the side of the spoon, avoid improper table manners and do not to slurp. To retrieve the last spoonful of soup, slightly tip the bowl away from you and spoon in the way that works best.