52 Weeks Towards Divine Femininity

Still in these streets trying to be feminine, but not too hard, I want it to flow from me hihi. Have come to the realization that I've dealt with more misogyny than racism in my life, not really sure how to feel about that.

Anyhoo, something I started doing while I was still at my old job, is stop penciling in my work hours on my planner. I just remember it, show up at work and then keep it moving after that. So what I do write in my planner are things I need to get done in my home. My home life is far more important to me than any job could ever be.

Living in a country where the majority of people actually live to work is not easy. People here greet each other with the following question: "How was work today?" :/.
 
Still in these streets trying to be feminine, but not too hard, I want it to flow from me hihi. Have come to the realization that I've dealt with more misogyny than racism in my life, not really sure how to feel about that.

Anyhoo, something I started doing while I was still at my old job, is stop penciling in my work hours on my planner. I just remember it, show up at work and then keep it moving after that. So what I do write in my planner are things I need to get done in my home. My home life is far more important to me than any job could ever be.

Living in a country where the majority of people actually live to work is not easy. People here greet each other with the following question: "How was work today?" :/.
I never thought about it this way. Recently Ro made a post and on her list of masculine traits was, "Having satisfaction from a good day's work." When I truly think about it, my satisfaction should come from my personal happiness. Not my job. I never write down my work hours if I have to work. However, I always write down something that I will do BESIDES work that will bring me joy. Example: have a picnic on the reservoir, pick out new flowers, buy some fine, go out to eat later, walk in the park, play with my son, or SOMETHING. I think putting myself FIRST ensures that loving myself will ALWAYS get done.
 
Yall I added a video from the School of Etiquette in the Challenge a few weeks ago about walking up and down steps. I thought it was informative. I tried it today. They said you walk up the steps in a line with one foot in front of the other to create a sashay movement in your hips. I could feel that happening as I walked up the steps. Ohhhh yeahhhh buddy I'ma definitely use this trick soon. For now I'm practicing.

https://longhaircareforum.com/threa...ivine-femininity.829251/page-39#post-24868249
 
I never thought about it this way. Recently Ro made a post and on her list of masculine traits was, "Having satisfaction from a good day's work." When I truly think about it, my satisfaction should come from my personal happiness. Not my job. I never write down my work hours if I have to work. However, I always write down something that I will do BESIDES work that will bring me joy. Example: have a picnic on the reservoir, pick out new flowers, buy some fine, go out to eat later, walk in the park, play with my son, or SOMETHING. I think putting myself FIRST ensures that loving myself will ALWAYS get done.

Girl, YES! Been thinking about it lately since I'm reevaluating my entire life, since being in my 30s. Doing well professionally does not mean that all is well with a person, case in point are the two recent suicides we've witnessed in the fashion and culinary/travel world. But we live in such a male dominated world, that people think it's the most normal question in the world to ask. My own mother does it all the time. People value work and all that goes along with it: having a home, a car, being able to buy groceries and so forth.

Was recently having a conversation about this with my sister and she realized that people's values are all out of whack. I told her of course: you'll see people who have held the same job for 10, 15, 20 or 30 years, who are proud of that, but whose personal life is in shambles (divorced, prodigal children,...etc). Recently had such meaningful conversations with two female co-workers at work and it really lit up my day. It was not work related at all, but more like the kind of conversations we have here on LHCF:cloud9:.
 
I never thought about it this way. Recently Ro made a post and on her list of masculine traits was, "Having satisfaction from a good day's work." When I truly think about it, my satisfaction should come from my personal happiness. Not my job. I never write down my work hours if I have to work. However, I always write down something that I will do BESIDES work that will bring me joy. Example: have a picnic on the reservoir, pick out new flowers, buy some fine, go out to eat later, walk in the park, play with my son, or SOMETHING. I think putting myself FIRST ensures that loving myself will ALWAYS get done.
All of my emails are together on my phone unless I sort and I receive so many emails from work over the weekend! Unlike those who email me I don’t get fulfillment from work, work allows me to pursue other passions, so I don’t respond. I don’t have a work phone and I don’t want that to become an expectation. I am in a leadership position, but it is unpaid so I treat it as such. Work is not the center of my life. I am and my loved ones are
 
@PrissiSippi
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
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Recap

Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner

Week 2: Print or Buy a planner. Make sure you write down and plan to do things that encompass your femininity. How many times will you cook for your family so they can practice dinner etiquette? How many minutes will you hold each child a day (10-15 minutes?) How will you polish your femininity EACH day, how will you spend one on one time with your spouse each day? Have you made time to go out with a female this week to talk girl talk? Make a plan, be intentional, and write it down.

Week 3: Be more present- Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be a phone zombie. Practice makes permanent. Constantly work on cultivating your femininity by being very present with DH, SO, your children, and friends. Choose human interactions vs social media interactions this week.

Week 4: Accept him- Accept him for who he is. This includes his strengths, his weaknesses, his goals, or lack of him. He is a person full of triumphs as well as flaws just like you. (This goal is continuous).

February- Inner Self Work
Week 5: Polish Your Poise- No one can take you out of your feminine grace except you. Work on not being reactive to problems and asserting your needs but in a gentle way. Work on your look, attitude, gratitude, gaze, and overall spirit.

Week 6: Self Preservation is Key- Learn to protect your peace. Put YOU first. Have a drama blocking plan to protect yourself.

Week 7: What's in a Voice- Work on your feminine voice. Smile. Have a sing-song sweet voice at all times...especially times of struggle.

Week 8: Rock Your Wardrobe- Aim to look feminine, put together, and GOOD every day.
Week 9: Turn Rituals Into Routine

March- Home Living
Week 10: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 11: Focus on Your Home Aromas
Week 12: How Clean Is Your Home
Week 13: Set the Tone in Your Home: Make Your House a Haven

April- Refinement
Week 14: Clean Up Your Social Media Accounts
Week 15: Be more mysterious: Work on your Feminine Mystique
Week 16: Take the Help/Compliments
Week 17: Got Milk? Milk Baths

May- Strategically Selfish
Week 18: You Are the Prize
Week 19: Don’t Let them Move Your Goal Post
Week 20: Put On Your Oxygen Mask First
Week 21: Drop the need to be Right: Focus Instead
Week 22: Who are Your Male Vouchers?!

June- Feminine Refinement
Week 23- Leisure Time/ Become Well Read
Week 24- Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 25- Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 26- Communication 101: Stay in Control

July-
Week 27- Everything can be used against you.
Week 28- Compassionate
Week 29- Know Yourself What's your Feminine Archetype?'
Week 30- Use your Feminine Archetype to become a Force - Hone In On It
Week 31- Wine A Bit; You'll Feel a Little Bit Better

August - Etiquette
Week 32- Staircase Etiquette
Week 33-- Pose for Life - Crossed Legs Pose
Week 34- Keep it Classy (Exiting car doors)
Week 35- Sitting pretty


Week 35 - Sitting Pretty

We all know posture is everything, but do we know it's everywhere? Posture is important everywhere which includes running, walking, posing for pictures, standing, and even sitting. It's not always possible to be the PRETTIEST, but you can be the one with the most grace, elegance, and more. As it relates to sitting pretty, make sure when seated your knees and ankles are together even if you decide to cross your legs at the knee. Take in tips from the two videos posted below and have a little fun sitting pretty and in style time after time.





Week 35 Challenge

1. Practice sitting down graciously.
2. Ask a friend/accountability trip to look at you going from seated to standing.
NOTE: Make sure to pay attention how to place your stance before you sit down. It seems that your knees fall gracefully if you have the back leg pointed diagonally and the other leg pointed straight. That was a great tip for me.
 
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@PrissiSippi, Thanks for posting these lovely video's... On the low getting my femininity up, just lurking these threads... :grin:
I'm glad they're helping you just as much as they are helping me! I'm practicing going from standing to sitting as we speak. It helps a lot that I wear feminine dresses almost each day now. My hands just glide over this fabric and I'm more conscious on what I'm doing because of what I am wearing. I like that these a little bitty steps to learn how to do but they really help me in the public eye.

Last week I had a cocktails and conversations party with some alumni from my university (old rich white women). It COULD be just in my head, but I ordered a champagne and actually held my glass correctly and the older lady in the back just looked at me and smiled. After this she just kept holding a conversations with me to find out who I was. You never know when you are making an impression.
 
@PrissiSippi, Thanks for posting these lovely video's... On the low getting my femininity up, just lurking these threads... :grin:

This is SO true! These videos remind me that it's both a mind and body connection. I can't help but remember the many times I've slumped over into a chair without thinking. I never really paid attention how I stood, got into [or out of the car] or how I came down the staircase (and I now do this every day at my new job, so I have plenty of time to practice). It's repetition for me every time now.
 
This is SO true! These videos remind me that it's both a mind and body connection. I can't help but remember the many times I've slumped over into a chair without thinking. I never really paid attention how I stood, got into [or out of the car] or how I came down the staircase (and I now do this every day at my new job, so I have plenty of time to practice). It's repetition for me every time now.
Every single time. I’m noticing some changes. I no longer walk outside or into a conference with “stuff” in my hand. It’s all in a bag. No plastic bags either. It’s in a work bag or a grocery bag. I’m more present. I’m walking straighter. With my head held high and with a smile and a little makeup.

I thought in my head be a elevator not an escalator both walking down the steps and sitting. I usually hop in my car. Now I take my time knees together and swing.

I wear a dress everyday which keeps me mindful of my weight. I wear dresses to ALL dates and talk sweetly. When the check is to be paid I walk away or step back lol. I don’t take out trash or open doors. These little bitty tips really come together to intentionally make something BEAUTIFUL!
 
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We embrace success.
We choose to radiate femininity compassion, gratitude today and everyday.
Through our femininity, we make space for love and success to come into our lives.
WE are the upgrade.​
 


Thoughts?! As it relates to femininity let’s take a look at choice of clothing, facial mannerisms, hand placement and mannerism, sitting posture, control of her mouth and the conversation, poise, reputation, seduction.

Please feel free to include any of the things we have covered in this challenge.

Note: I know she is well disliked. This is only talking from aspects of femininity.
 
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I like how she puts her hands on her thighs and lets them slide down as she sits. That really looks gracefully.



I really enjoyed that! I generally sit with my ankles crossed. I guess I should never sit with my knees crossed because my top leg pops out and doesn't sit parallel. :look:

I'll be watching some of her other videos.
 
Ditto, just wanted to post this one though, keeping in trend.



So step 1. Keep your legs straight when walking in heels
Step 2. Keep your steps short because long steps are very masculine and walk with your feet not too wide
Step 3. Walk in a straight line

I’ve been walking in a straight line on stairs and it does look better. This will be something I have to work on. Medically my legs are positioned to have a wide stance. I have to be intentional to
She's fabulous! I love going to etiquette classes or "finishing school" type programs.
ive been really enjoying this month’s challenges. I took etiquette classes as a child. So this feels like a brush up class.
 
Back to Omarosa’s Mini Case Study

Appearance: Lacy dress, yellow dress which complements her skin tone. High heels. The earrings are dangling earrings. She wears a cross around her neck to signify her purity and religion (even though I don’t buy it). Nail polish is neutral. She looks very well put together.

Poise: she Sat straight up. Her hands were placed one over the other in her lap. Pay attention how the ring hand is placed on top. This gives attention to small details. It also tells others you are well taken care of. She crossed her legs at the knee but both ankles are still parallel. She’s very relaxed and NOT RUSHED. Feminine ladies don’t let anyone rush them. Take your time and take in the experience. If someone tries to rush you....remember you are in control but try to refrain from TELLING DEMANDING OR BOSSING people. You can let it be said through your actions instead. Omarosa did this with the It’s okay. You don’t have to ask 10 questions in 10 seconds.


In conversation: she never allows anyone to rush her. Even when Savannah was bombarding her with questions Omarosa kept her femininity. Omarosa set the tone.
She used feminine mystique when asked how did she record the convo if phones aren’t allowed. She never incriminated herself. She replied, “I’ll let you use your imagination.” Ladies you don’t have to answer each question. Deflect deflect deflect. Mysteriousness is POWER.

Male voucher: She appears to be a strong independent black woman but noticed how she played damsel in distress. She said she asked for her lawyer, counsel, and even her husband. And she was denied them all. Even she knows the importance of protection...or even implied protection.

Boundaries: When the convo got out of hand Omarosa shut the conversation off. That’s her boundary. If it was respectful she would have continued. She was not respected so she shut it off.

Facial mannerisms: IMO she has RB face which I do not like. It looks like don’t mess with me but it is also very masculine I wish she would work on a more pleasant resting face.

Reputation: She keeps the end goal in mind. She is a sovereign woman. She puts herself first. (Even if she doesn’t say it out loud). She not out here nation building and being a nanny that’s why a lot of black people hate her.

Seductive Archetype: I believe she is a coquette. She is also rocking a bit of the siren look because in all of these interviews she has looked impeccable and her voice has been very feminine along with color choices for wardrobe. She is well trained in the art of seduction.

Years ago, I did not like her. She was very combatituve and came off as an argumentative backstabber. These days she is more refined as it relates to feminine grace.

She is more mature, more sovereign. She is not petty anymore, and she does not really bring the drama anymore. She is standing up for what is right, she is now a justice-seeker. She knows how to play up her femininity and also get what she wants by taking calculated risks and running in the right circles.

What aspects from her could you learn from?

@Supervixen @PeaceLover @intellectualuva @Belle Du Jour @Maracujá
 

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Taken from LadyBeatrix.com

Basic Etiquette/Manners Tips
Sometimes all it takes is a few small details that add up to make a well mannered person. By paying attention to little things people will instantly like you more, thinking you’re a sophisticated and thoughtful person. Here are 30 little manners that will make a world of difference.

  1. When waiting for an elevator stand to the side of the doors so as not to block the way for people who may be getting off.
  2. When ordering from a waiter or bar tender look them in the eye to acknowledge that they are real people and not merely servants.
  3. Wait for everyone at the table to be served before you begin eating or drinking.
  4. When eating with others pace yourself so you don’t finish long before they do and look like a piglet.
  5. If someone in the market checkout line has 3 items or less when you have many invite them go before you.
  6. After trying on clothing in a store hang or fold them back up as neatly as possible.
  7. Offer your seat to any person much older than you, handicapped, pregnant, or if a man to a woman.
  8. Always use your blinker when driving.
  9. Always say please and thank you.
  10. Don’t interrupt someone while they’re speaking. If it’s urgent say “excuse me…” before jumping into the conversation.
  11. Never show up to a party empty handed. (flowers, chocolates, bottle of wine, luxury hand soaps…)
  12. Never swear or use vulgar words around people you don’t know well, or better yet not at all.
  13. Chew with your mouth closed.
  14. Hold the door open for those behind you. If it’s someone elderly, handicapped or someone with their hands full hold it open for the them to walk through.
  15. If something or someone is boring you try your best to look interested and content.
  16. When meeting someone give a firm handshake, eye contact and a smile.
  17. Knock before entering a closed door.
  18. Send a handwritten thank you note for any gifts or services received. Master that here.
  19. Never yell. Unless being attacked or kidnapped for ransom.
  20. Always except a gift graciously with a sweet thank you.
  21. Cover your mouth when yawning.
  22. Try your best to always be on time.
  23. Don’t discuss or post very personal or sensitive information on social media. Nobody wants to know about your skin rash.
  24. Don’t text or go on your phone during a meal. In fact, keep your phone off the table all together.
  25. Don’t talk on your cell phone in a public or social place unless 3 or more people are already doing so.
  26. Limit your use of photo/video taking when in public or social situations. You don’t want to be the egomaniac taking 100 selfies at the opera. More phone etiquette here!
  27. Use proper grammar and spelling when emailing and texting.
  28. Respond to a text, email or phone call within 24 hours. Unless you’re off on some fabulous private island.
  29. Make sure your clothing is properly pressed and tailored. As Tom Ford says “Dressing well is a form of good manners.”
  30. Don’t gossip, but if you simply must follow these guidelines!How to handle gossip like a lady.
 
She is more mature, more sovereign. She is not petty anymore, and she does not really bring the drama anymore. She is standing up for what is right, she is now a justice-seeker. She knows how to play up her femininity and also get what she wants by taking calculated risks and running in the right circles.

You had me almost to the very end, until the highlighted. Omarosa is still petty and is drama central.
She knows how to keep people interested in her brand, but whether or not it's rooted in femininity is debatable.
 
You had me almost to the very end, until the highlighted. Omarosa is still petty and is drama central.
She knows how to keep people interested in her brand, but whether or not it's rooted in femininity is debatable.
Lol I’m really hoping she hasn’t upgraded from her Apprentice days now. I haven’t seen her in the public eye being soooo Petty like before. But I am being real hopeful lol.
 
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