52 Weeks Towards Divine Femininity

[Kimbosheart]

I didn’t know this. I guess this is why my family member said student loans don’t count lol

Ooh they count. They are extremely difficult to bankrupt out of and the interest compounds like a credit card. It’s very expensive debt. The reason you can discharge them through death is because the asset they are connected to is your intellectual property. So if you die there’s no asset. Unlike a mortgage which is tied to a property that can be reclaimed.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I have really slipped. I have not cooked in an entire week. However, my best friend is still inspired to plate and I think she’s doing beautifully.

I asked her what changes has she seen in her household. She told me her father is soooo proud of her and is in love with her creations. It’s kind of a respect thing but he wants to eat it all lol. He has eaten almost the entire cake and a dozen rolls by himself. Lol. I think this is so cute. This particular friend could not cook at all before but now oh my gosh she is amazing. She is so confident and so at peace cooking. It led to her now moving on to being a better organizer to keep her space clean. I wish her much peace and direction on her journey.

 

[PrissiSippi]

This week has been very very hard for me.

Very very very hard.

I fell off from my feminine path this entire week. At least I’m aware, but something happened and I just got so angry at life. I immediately noticed a difference. I was soooo loud and not feminine. I stopped cooking, doing yoga, and gardening. I’ve been in survival mode. I stopped myself from crying when I needed to. I refused myself naps because I felt I needed to get something done. I sacrificed my family and took on a side job and suffered for it because I was so tired. This week I was so out of balance. I’m praying I can get it together you all and get back right.

I need to go back to the basics. Writing down one thing a day that is just for me. And spending time with my friends to regroup through the use of teas and brunches. Keeping a gratitude journal noting what I am thankful for everyday. Yoga twice a week. My skin broke out badly so I’m going to juice this week.

I can say my boundaries are getting stronger. However I’m to the point where I keep beating myself up because the boundaries should have already been set. But that’s the past. I’m doing it now so that’s all that matters. My mother and father are on that block action. They only see me for brief periods of time. I stopped my friend’s from randomly popping up to my house without calling me before. I cut off down on a friend talking crazy to me. I stopped being so available with men. I can see the changes in me setting boundaries but also keeping my personal peace and being so sweet and pleasant but FIRM with these boundaries.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I intentionally mess stuff up to get others to do it. This week I usedna leaf blower to blow off some leaves. Y’all I got the leaves and grass all in my hair. My friend was like....Priss you look crazy. You can’t do it right. You should just wait for me to do stuff like xyz. You know you don’t know how to do outside stuff lol. End result was the same. He came and did all my outside stuff for the garden.

I had to drive this week with a man in the car. As soon as I started driving I started driving stupid. Driving just slightly too fast, using the brakes too much, acting aloof. Guy was like...man you drive like a woman. Let me drive to protect you and us. Hahaha. Now he thinks it’s his idea to drive us all the time. Naw bruh I just don’t drive.

It doesn’t work in every situation but in a lot of situations I have fallen back and let someone help rather than saying oh I got it.

 

[PrissiSippi]

So you guys....last week did you ever figure out what happiness looked like for you as it relates to your marriage, life, and children?

 

[PrissiSippi]

Participants -

@PrissiSippi
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717




Recap

Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner

Week 2: Print or Buy a planner. Make sure you write down and plan to do things that encompass your femininity. How many times will you cook for your family so they can practice dinner etiquette? How many minutes will you hold each child a day (10-15 minutes?) How will you polish your femininity EACH day, how will you spend one on one time with your spouse each day? Have you made time to go out with a female this week to talk girl talk? Make a plan, be intentional, and write it down.

Week 3: Be more present- Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be a phone zombie. Practice makes permanent. Constantly work on cultivating your femininity by being very present with DH, SO, your children, and friends. Choose human interactions vs social media interactions this week.

Week 4: Accept him- Accept him for who he is. This includes his strengths, his weaknesses, his goals, or lack of him. He is a person full of triumphs as well as flaws just like you. (This goal is continuous)
February- Inner Self Work
Week 5: Polish Your Poise- No one can take you out of your feminine grace except you. Work on not being reactive to problems and asserting your needs but in a gentle way. Work on your look, attitude, gratitude, gaze, and overall spirit.

Week 6: Self Preservation is Key- Learn to protect your peace. Put YOU first. Have a drama blocking plan to protect yourself.

Week 7: What's in a Voice- Work on your feminine voice. Smile. Have a sing-song sweet voice at all times...especially times of struggle.

Week 8: Rock Your Wardrobe- Aim to look feminine, put together, and GOOD every day.
Week 9: Turn Rituals Into Routine
March- Home Living
Week 10: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 11: Focus on Your Home Aromas
Week 12: How Clean Is Your Home
Week 13: Set the Tone in Your Home: Make Your House a Haven
April-
Week 14: Clean Up Your Social Media Accounts
Week 15: Be more mysterious: Work on your Feminine Mystique
Week 16: Take the Help/Compliments
Week 17: Got Milk? Milk Baths
May- Strategically Selfish
Week 18: You Are the Prize
Week 19: Don’t Let them Move Your Goal Post
Week 20: Put On Your Oxygen Mask First



Week 20: Put Your Oxygen Mask On First

Generational success requires longevity. How long do you expect to thrive and live and what are you doing to make sure this happens today?

Every time we fly, we are told: "Put your oxygen masks on before helping others."
It's like, "Are you crazy? Of course I would save my child before myself. Each and every time." However, it is also important to note we have to be intentional and strategically selfish to protect our femininity and make sure that our own selves are nourished and sustained, in order for us to have something left to give to others.

When we are not truly into our feminine zone we start the unhealthy habits all over again. We rush. We don't take in the experience and we began to only focus on the task. We holler at our children and our significant others out of frusration. We use profanity. We don't take the time to really dress ourselves and plan it out what we will wear and take pride in it. We don't stop to have that very much needed conversation with a friend. We begin to get very task oriented and very geared to others' well-being.

I really wanted to take a nap in the middle of the day. A good friend of mine was appalled when I said this. She said no Prissy. If you go to sleep now you won't be able to sleep later on. Plus I know there are many positive things you could be doing. I was like yup....positive things like sleeping lol. Sleeping leaves me in a more calm state and allows me to love on my loved ones even more efficienctly because I am well-rested, refreshed, and relaxed. The same thing goes for certain hobbies/exercises/self-care activities.

This is so critical for your safety and then it passes on to your children and husband, and home. Without proper oxygen....you feel tired, anxious, and deprived. The most successful people have learned they need time to themselves.

You NEED time to:

• Think
• Have physical touch with others
• Connect with Others
• Love everyone in the Family
• Nap
• Have Adventures
• RELAX

Week 20 Challenge
1. When we nap, brunch, swim, run, do yoga, meditate, or dance you give your brain a mental break. Write down a "selfish" activity you can do for yourself.
2. When in the company of others (let's say you are catering or hosting a party), don't let other women out nurture you. It is OKAY to rest. However, if you get tired, take frequent breaks AWAY from company and out of sight to regain your strength and composure and always appear in control and relaxed. Be selfish...take breaks as needed.

 

[PrissiSippi]

This post kinda focuses on teaching your children chores. It’s girl chores vs boy chores.

This is copied directly from Facebook.

~For those who are confused:
Domesticated duty vs. Masculine duty.

1. Clean toilet : Repair/ make a toilet.
2. Sweep the floor : Use lawn blower for leaves on porch outside home.
3. Making the bed : Building or repairing a bed.
4. Washing the dishes : removing the garbage.
5. Folding clothes : actually working for money to provide these clothes for the family.
6. Decorating well placed furniture : moving the heavy furniture.
7. Keep the inside of home clean to reduce bugs : managing pest control appointments for outside the home.
8. Picking out family groceries : lifting the heavy bags in/out car and house.
9. Sewing the family clothes : providing the supplies and equiptment
10. Washing clothes for the family : knowing how to fix a broken machine.

~Teaching boy children to be domesticated is setting the family up to stay broke. We need handy, smart, problem solving and providing husbands. Not the newest cooking with the Neely's then later divorce.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

I’ve done much better at home putting my mask on first, but at work I carried too much this year. Way too much. I’ve already figured out how next year will go if I am tasked the way I was this year.
Easy for me and without the best results for them.

 

[Supervixen]

This post kinda focuses on teaching your children chores. It’s girl chores vs boy chores.

This is copied directly from Facebook.

~For those who are confused:
Domesticated duty vs. Masculine duty.

1. Clean toilet : Repair/ make a toilet.
2. Sweep the floor : Use lawn blower for leaves on porch outside home.
3. Making the bed : Building or repairing a bed.
4. Washing the dishes : removing the garbage.
5. Folding clothes : actually working for money to provide these clothes for the family.
6. Decorating well placed furniture : moving the heavy furniture.
7. Keep the inside of home clean to reduce bugs : managing pest control appointments for outside the home.
8. Picking out family groceries : lifting the heavy bags in/out car and house.
9. Sewing the family clothes : providing the supplies and equiptment
10. Washing clothes for the family : knowing how to fix a broken machine.

~Teaching boy children to be domesticated is setting the family up to stay broke. We need handy, smart, problem solving and providing husbands. Not the newest cooking with the Neely's then later divorce.

I love how this shows the complementary roles we need to grow successful families!

 

[Dee-Licious]

This post kinda focuses on teaching your children chores. It’s girl chores vs boy chores.

This is copied directly from Facebook.

~For those who are confused:
Domesticated duty vs. Masculine duty.

1. Clean toilet : Repair/ make a toilet.
2. Sweep the floor : Use lawn blower for leaves on porch outside home.
3. Making the bed : Building or repairing a bed.
4. Washing the dishes : removing the garbage.
5. Folding clothes : actually working for money to provide these clothes for the family.
6. Decorating well placed furniture : moving the heavy furniture.
7. Keep the inside of home clean to reduce bugs : managing pest control appointments for outside the home.
8. Picking out family groceries : lifting the heavy bags in/out car and house.
9. Sewing the family clothes : providing the supplies and equiptment
10. Washing clothes for the family : knowing how to fix a broken machine.

~Teaching boy children to be domesticated is setting the family up to stay broke. We need handy, smart, problem solving and providing husbands. Not the newest cooking with the Neely's then later divorce.

Heck no. If I can clean a toilet, DH can clean a toilet. If I can make a bed, DH can make a bed. He can and does those plus folding clothes and dishes.

I don't take out the trash or do the yard work besides picking/planting in my vegetable garden, but not teaching boys to do necessary things around the house sets up scenarios where the wife is broke down and tired b/c the husband considers those "woman" duties or "never had to/learned to".

 

[PrissiSippi]

We can always brush up on our skills!! Add this to our dinner etiquette questions posted earlier in this challenge please!

Try to answer with no peeking! Answers in gray! It is very important that we try to set aside time to sit down and eat at the table together as a family. This is quality family time and allows you to hands on teach your children how to eat properly and gracefully. Remember class is not about how much money you bring in; it is a mindset! Happy practicing!

#DinnerEtiquetteTrivia you’re all done with your meal, now what do you do with your cloth napkin? #FineDiningFemmes

Spoiler

You leave it in your lap until you're ready to leave. Then you place the napkin to the left of your plate once you get up from table and actually leave.

Pass the salt, please! How do you pass it? #FineDiningFemmes

Spoiler

Pass both salt and pepper together, and yes, to the right!

There are three forks on your place setting. Which one do you pick up First? #FineDiningFemmes

Spoiler

You always work from the outside in. So that when you get to desert you should only have one fork right next to the plate. Outside in.

#DinnerEtiquetteTrivia How far away should lower edges of silverware and plates be placed from the edge of the table? #FineDiningFemmes
A. One Inch
B. Two Inches
C. Three Inches
D. Four Inches

Spoiler

Answer: The lower edges of the utensils should be aligned with the bottom rim of the plate, about one (1) inch up from the edge of the table.

#DinnerEtiquetteTrivia How would one use the soup spoon? #FineDiningFemmes

Spoiler

Answer. Dip the spoon sideways into the soup at the near edge of the bowl, then skim from the front of the bowl to the back. Sip from the side of the spoon, avoid improper table manners and do not to slurp. To retrieve the last spoonful of soup, slightly tip the bowl away from you and spoon in the way that works best.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I like how this is worded. It goes into out challenge from last week. You are the prize.


Since the beginning of time, woman has been a gift to man. Eve didn’t have to do much to win Adam over in the perfect garden. She probably hadn’t shaved or spent tons of money at the salon and definitely hadn’t learned 50 ways to cook chicken to win Adam over. He knew that she was a gift and he was thankful.

Act feminine and like the prize and a quality masculine man will believe it.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Ladies how are we this week? How are we at being strategically selfish by taking care of ourselves FIRST by intentionally planning our time for us in our planner?


I know that you all are doing your very best to take care of your home, husband’s/boyfriends, and your families but please make sure that you are taking care of yourself as well. Cooking, cleaning and nurturing is an around-the-clock job even for those who do work outside the home.

With that said, Your job never ends and there is always something to do! The best way to care for others is to ensure you set aside some time for YOURSELF!

There is nothing wrong with taking a breather and taking time for yourself!

There is no need to feel guilty about it. There more at peace you are...the better you will be to both your family and Home.

To stay in a beautiful feminine space some time to rejuvenate and decompress is essential! Make sure you take a day or at least an hour or two each day, that is just for you!

Whether it be enjoying some relaxing time by running, doing yoga, at the spa reading, catching up on some of your favorite shows, crafting, cooking something new, napping (naps count), painting your nails, taking walks or even picking up a new hobby. Like Nike said, JUST DO IT.

Remember ☝ no one is perfect, but as long as your environment is clean your family is healthy and happy you are doing just fine!

 

[PrissiSippi]

Does anyone follow this beauty. She is just gorgeous!! I hope one day my skin is as buttery smooth as hers . I searched BlackFemininity and she was the first picture that came up for me. Love Loce Love

 

[PeaceLover]

Does anyone follow this beauty. She is just gorgeous!! I hope one day my skin is as buttery smooth as hers . I searched BlackFemininity and she was the first picture that came up for me. Love Loce Love

I follow her. She’s gorgeous & so classy.

 

[Maracujá]

My sister complimented me on how well rested I look, so did one of my besties. I work 8h/day and am single, there's no second income to fall back on. I have to take care of myself. Walking to work while listening to uplifting music really helps. At work I prefer to keep conversations to a minimum, people always like to drag you down with their nonsense and my temperament is already melancholic to begin with, so yeah. I also take frequent breaks and spend a lot of time by myself, just to think about how I would like my future to unfold. Especially since I'm turning 33 on July 5th.

 

[PrissiSippi]

My sister complimented me on how well rested I look, so did one of my besties. I work 8h/day and am single, there's no second income to fall back on. I have to take care of myself. Walking to work while listening to uplifting music really helps. At work I prefer to keep conversations to a minimum, people always like to drag you down with their nonsense and my temperament is already melancholic to begin with, so yeah. I also take frequent breaks and spend a lot of time by myself, just to think about how I would like my future to unfold. Especially since I'm turning 33 on July 5th.

You look well rested as well! You look just amazing. I feel that listening to music calms my spirit too. Hmmm I never thought to keep my conversations to a minimum at work. Ima have to think on that one. I’m a natural extrovert but you’re right. Some convos change your entire mood.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Can anyone answer this question about floral arrangements: I typically buy flowers from the local Trader Joe's. They look pretty for about a week but I've never really noticed that they are particularly fragrant. I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers earlier this week and although they started to brown quickly, the fragrance remains pretty strong. What accounts for the difference in fragrance as opposed to the flowers from Trader Joe's?

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Does anyone follow this beauty. She is just gorgeous!! I hope one day my skin is as buttery smooth as hers . I searched BlackFemininity and she was the first picture that came up for me. Love Loce Love

I follow her.
I’ve started following a few very feminine black women. I want my time line to be inspiration & motivation!

 

[PrissiSippi]

I don’t know what these fuzzy balls are but they are so adorable. Can you believe this bouquet of flowers cost $3. The tape trick works wonders in spacing out flowers.

I made lasagna last night with steamed broccoli and a salad and garlic bread but lasagna doesn’t plate well to me lol.

My garden is coming along pretty well. I’ll try to post a pic later.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Can anyone answer this question about floral arrangements: I typically buy flowers from the local Trader Joe's. They look pretty for about a week but I've never really noticed that they are particularly fragrant. I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers earlier this week and although they started to brown quickly, the fragrance remains pretty strong. What accounts for the difference in fragrance as opposed to the flowers from Trader Joe's?

Flowers are little freaky things. Young flowers aren’t ready to pollinate so they don’t release a strong scent.

When they are ready for pollination they up the antics in terms of fragrance to send a message to bees and butterflies to “PICK ME PICK ME” to increase reproductive success.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Back a few weeks we touched on YOU ARE THE PRIZE

I’ve been noticing that men in my vicinity have it drilled into themselves from BIRTH they are the prize. It has made me realize that black women seem to believe that they can only be loved conditional but men believe they are the bees-neez just from being men alone. Just frombeing birn they think they are destined for help, love, wealth, and more. And even if they’re “undeserving” they get it. How sway?

Women are told:

Girl nobody want a nasty wife/wife that can’t cook.

No man wants a man they have to take care of. Learn to be very independent.

But men are taught very different things.
I have a friend right now. He’s very amusing. Very funny. He has a low level job. But he has a great personality. He has two children. He does the minimum for both. I have witnessed him always being told a woman would be lucky to have him. He believes it too. You could NEVER tell him otherwise. He always dates these high level women. You’re like what in the world do they see other than personality?

A relative told a male relative to level up and not he such a butthole towards his girl. He said why would I? Even if I don’t she’ll be here because there is not much to choose from. What’s her other options? He wasn’t bending and breaking for a woman he was doing it under HIS TERMS, if HE wanted to, and WHEN he wanted to.

We need to take back a little of this power as well.

They (Men) are soooo selfish. They pick women based majorly on appearance (conditional) but when women pick them based on status and money (also conditional) they’re annoyed because they believe they should be loved unconditionally. (What about love baby?)

They believe if it’s at any time they are not getting their needs met they should leave and go on to the next because they’re sooooo many out there that would RIDE OR DIE to be wifey while we sometimes BEG or get succumbed to men dangling marriage like a carrot in front of a rabbit when it’s really the WOMAN that makes all this stuff go. She is the prize. Without her there IS NO GO.

I’m all for Christeltn Kerazin putting it out there that WOMEN ARE THE PRIZE. Tap into your feminine energy and shift the power. Quietly, Be mindful that men DO NOT LIKE THIS. When they become privy of it they act annoyed. But you really should not give two effs. You ARE the prize. Act like it.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Participants -

@PrissiSippi
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123




Recap

Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner

Week 2: Print or Buy a planner. Make sure you write down and plan to do things that encompass your femininity. How many times will you cook for your family so they can practice dinner etiquette? How many minutes will you hold each child a day (10-15 minutes?) How will you polish your femininity EACH day, how will you spend one on one time with your spouse each day? Have you made time to go out with a female this week to talk girl talk? Make a plan, be intentional, and write it down.

Week 3: Be more present- Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be a phone zombie. Practice makes permanent. Constantly work on cultivating your femininity by being very present with DH, SO, your children, and friends. Choose human interactions vs social media interactions this week.

Week 4: Accept him- Accept him for who he is. This includes his strengths, his weaknesses, his goals, or lack of him. He is a person full of triumphs as well as flaws just like you. (This goal is continuous)
February- Inner Self Work
Week 5: Polish Your Poise- No one can take you out of your feminine grace except you. Work on not being reactive to problems and asserting your needs but in a gentle way. Work on your look, attitude, gratitude, gaze, and overall spirit.

Week 6: Self Preservation is Key- Learn to protect your peace. Put YOU first. Have a drama blocking plan to protect yourself.

Week 7: What's in a Voice- Work on your feminine voice. Smile. Have a sing-song sweet voice at all times...especially times of struggle.

Week 8: Rock Your Wardrobe- Aim to look feminine, put together, and GOOD every day.
Week 9: Turn Rituals Into Routine
March- Home Living
Week 10: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 11: Focus on Your Home Aromas
Week 12: How Clean Is Your Home
Week 13: Set the Tone in Your Home: Make Your House a Haven
April-
Week 14: Clean Up Your Social Media Accounts
Week 15: Be more mysterious: Work on your Feminine Mystique
Week 16: Take the Help/Compliments
Week 17: Got Milk? Milk Baths
May- Strategically Selfish
Week 18: You Are the Prize
Week 19: Don’t Let them Move Your Goal Post
Week 20: Put On Your Oxygen Mask First
Week 21: Drop the need to be Right: Focus Instead



Week 20: Drop the need to be right. Focus instead.

When you argue you lose focus on your own goals. Don’t be fooled. This is often a tool to get sucked into mediocrity while making you forget your own goals. Don’t argue. With your husband, man, child, friends, and associates. It very rarely causes them to shift their perspective. Drop the need to be right. Maybe you do have a point and a great point. Maybe you don’t lol. Maybe they’re not ready for it. Maybe they have another motive. Maybe they just want to throw you off.

We are addicted to being right. We get a rush of dopamine just for being “right”. But your happiness should not be contingent on who is agreeing with you. Beyonce said it best, “I tend to walk alone, but I’m alone for a reason.” You May not walk with a large crowd when it comes to being divinely feminine. You will have many ways and habits that set you apart from others.
Some of the controversial habits will be:
-plating food
-buying flowers
-wearing dresses and skirts
-making sleep a priority and not an afterthought
-talking in a sweet voice
-serving your husband first
-not spanking your children and redirecting them often
-differentiating into boy and girl chores and masculine vs feminine zones
-staying at home
-entrepreneurship/passive income
-Being your child’s primary teacher not the public school districts.

This is okay. When someone tries to reel you back in to shift your perspective please stay focused. Your health, peace, and success of your family is at stake. How could you stay in your feminine zone and protect your peace but still assert yourself without arguing?

Week 21 Challenge
1. When we argue we lose focus. ALWAYS think of the end point. Arguing very rarely EVER causes the other person to change their view point. Because of this how will you “only be mad for 5 minutes”? How can you redirect and focus on the end goal? Strategize.


Understand that learning to be strategically selfish is a tool that takes you a step closer to YOUR OWN PERSONAL SUCCESS and balance, serenity, and peace.

-You’re feeling stressed, take a nap.
-You don’t have the money to pay a bill (if you’re married) don’t worry about it. Let figure that out. That’s not on you.
-Someone argues that they eat on styrofoam plates every night and their family eats just fine. So what? Be selfish. It’s not your job to save them. Save those that want to be saved. Give them time to figure things out on their own and seek your counsel later if needed. Save yourself and your family first.
- Black lives matter, who eats first, polygamy and more debates in social media? Be strategically selfish. Explain yourself but keep it short, to the point, and walk away. If they want information they will come to you. If they don’t...that’s fine too. Save yourself first.
- Dating lol your objective is to secure the bag. Don’t be getting sucked into political views and these deep conversations. Dating should be fun. And if you pick a man it should be on YOUR TERMS not his. Don’t let these men pick through you by getting into your head and talking all political. Keep the end goal at the forefront. Use your femininity as a tool to get the best living for you and your children. Because that’s EXACTLY what he’s doing.
- Your husband/SO acts a booty. Drop the need to be right. Is it any OTHER way you can get what you want without arguing/disrespecting him?

Strategy and timing is ESSENTIAL to living a successful and peaceful life.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I needed my car cleaned last week. It was a dire emergency. It was my fault. No1curr. Ole dude gonna complain that’s it’s not his car and he had other stuff to do. But dude I do a lot for you. Even my company is a gift I’m just saying. But I honestly do a lot for said person out of kindness. I could have argued my point of this and badgered him to do it. I try my best not to argue and jab though. I put on the damsel in distress act, asked sweetly one last time, and paused and allowed him time to think.

He said dannnnnnng. Ole me would have been annoyed by even that. BUT at the end of the day he did what I wanted. If he didn’t do it would have been some consequences point and blank. No arguing needed.

He did it. I said thank you and he continues to get my attention and the little perks that come from having my attention. That’s all she wrote.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Am I the only one the loved seeing families having Royal Tea parties to celebrate the Royal Family wedding?

The Royal Wedding wasn’t as important as allowing women the time to fellowship together, mingle with other like minded women, dress up over feminine, and polish their femininity skills by cooking, organizing, hosting, and cleaning.

What do you all feel about this. I have noticed that my YT counterparts take a lot of time to have a lot of parties. I mean St Patty’s Day party, Halloween get together, Valentines Day party, Super Bowl watch party, Royal Family party.

On the ther hand my honest opinion is that we are too tired to do this. We work sooo much that on the weekends or holidays we just want to rest. We do the minimum to just stay afloat and rightfully so...we’re TIRED.

But I think if we intentionally planned ahead and invested in a few crystal and white plate dishes (I’m going to keep thrifting for a few pieces) we could have more of these tea parties/special occasion parties. They are so much fun and really help you to practice your femininity.

I’m a firm believer that practice makes permanent. How have you practiced your femininity today? How are you intentionally practicing your femininity today.

Before this challenge I cursed a lot lol. I still do. Little sailor mouth. It’s sweet as pie but filthy lol. Every phone conversation is an opportunity for me to drop this bad habit. Every date is an opportunity for me to get comfortable in dresses and practice being fun, flirty, and free. Every time a man asks can he help me I see it as an opportunity to practice saying yes and allowing someone to help me and be graciously accepting it. Lol. Every night is an opportunity for me to practice getting cute even for the bed and not wearing my satin bonnet and instead sleeping pretty on my satin pillow.

Every single minute of the day is an opportunity for feminine refinement. It’s all in how you use it. How will you use your minutes today?

 

[Supervixen]

Participants -

@PrissiSippi
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717




Recap

Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner

Week 2: Print or Buy a planner. Make sure you write down and plan to do things that encompass your femininity. How many times will you cook for your family so they can practice dinner etiquette? How many minutes will you hold each child a day (10-15 minutes?) How will you polish your femininity EACH day, how will you spend one on one time with your spouse each day? Have you made time to go out with a female this week to talk girl talk? Make a plan, be intentional, and write it down.

Week 3: Be more present- Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be a phone zombie. Practice makes permanent. Constantly work on cultivating your femininity by being very present with DH, SO, your children, and friends. Choose human interactions vs social media interactions this week.

Week 4: Accept him- Accept him for who he is. This includes his strengths, his weaknesses, his goals, or lack of him. He is a person full of triumphs as well as flaws just like you. (This goal is continuous)
February- Inner Self Work
Week 5: Polish Your Poise- No one can take you out of your feminine grace except you. Work on not being reactive to problems and asserting your needs but in a gentle way. Work on your look, attitude, gratitude, gaze, and overall spirit.

Week 6: Self Preservation is Key- Learn to protect your peace. Put YOU first. Have a drama blocking plan to protect yourself.

Week 7: What's in a Voice- Work on your feminine voice. Smile. Have a sing-song sweet voice at all times...especially times of struggle.

Week 8: Rock Your Wardrobe- Aim to look feminine, put together, and GOOD every day.
Week 9: Turn Rituals Into Routine
March- Home Living
Week 10: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 11: Focus on Your Home Aromas
Week 12: How Clean Is Your Home
Week 13: Set the Tone in Your Home: Make Your House a Haven
April-
Week 14: Clean Up Your Social Media Accounts
Week 15: Be more mysterious: Work on your Feminine Mystique
Week 16: Take the Help/Compliments
Week 17: Got Milk? Milk Baths
May- Strategically Selfish
Week 18: You Are the Prize
Week 19: Don’t Let them Move Your Goal Post
Week 20: Put On Your Oxygen Mask First
Week 21: Drop the need to be Right: Focus Instead



Week 20: Drop the need to be right. Focus instead.

When you argue you lose focus on your own goals. Don’t be fooled. This is often a tool to get sucked into mediocrity while making you forget your own goals. Don’t argue. With your husband, man, child, friends, and associates. It very rarely causes them to shift their perspective. Drop the need to be right. Maybe you do have a point and a great point. Maybe you don’t lol. Maybe they’re not ready for it. Maybe they have another motive. Maybe they just want to throw you off.

We are addicted to being right. We get a rush of dopamine just for being “right”. But your happiness should not be contingent on who is agreeing with you. Beyonce said it best, “I tend to walk alone, but I’m alone for a reason.” You May not walk with a large crowd when it comes to being divinely feminine. You will have many ways and habits that set you apart from others.
Some of the controversial habits will be:
-plating food
-buying flowers
-wearing dresses and skirts
-making sleep a priority and not an afterthought
-talking in a sweet voice
-serving your husband first
-not spanking your children and redirecting them often
-differentiating into boy and girl chores and masculine vs feminine zones
-staying at home
-entrepreneurship/passive income
-Being your child’s primary teacher not the public school districts.

This is okay. When someone tries to reel you back in to shift your perspective please stay focused. Your health, peace, and success of your family is at stake. How could you stay in your feminine zone and protect your peace but still assert yourself without arguing?

Week 21 Challenge
1. When we argue we lose focus. ALWAYS think of the end point. Arguing very rarely EVER causes the other person to change their view point. Because of this how will you “only be mad for 5 minutes”? How can you redirect and focus on the end goal? Strategize.


Understand that learning to be strategically selfish is a tool that takes you a step closer to YOUR OWN PERSONAL SUCCESS and balance, serenity, and peace.

-You’re feeling stressed, take a nap.
-You don’t have the money to pay a bill (if you’re married) don’t worry about it. Let figure that out. That’s not on you.
-Someone argues that they eat on styrofoam plates every night and their family eats just fine. So what? Be selfish. It’s not your job to save them. Save those that want to be saved. Give them time to figure things out on their own and seek your counsel later if needed. Save yourself and your family first.
- Black lives matter, who eats first, polygamy and more debates in social media? Be strategically selfish. Explain yourself but keep it short, to the point, and walk away. If they want information they will come to you. If they don’t...that’s fine too. Save yourself first.
- Dating lol your objective is to secure the bag. Don’t be getting sucked into political views and these deep conversations. Dating should be fun. And if you pick a man it should be on YOUR TERMS not his. Don’t let these men pick through you by getting into your head and talking all political. Keep the end goal at the forefront. Use your femininity as a tool to get the best living for you and your children. Because that’s EXACTLY what he’s doing.
- Your husband/SO acts a booty. Drop the need to be right. Is it any OTHER way you can get what you want without arguing/disrespecting him?

Strategy and timing is ESSENTIAL to living a successful and peaceful life.

I’ve gotten pretty solid about dismissing FB arguments. I respond 2-3 times—if the person is really trying to understand and not argue, 5. That’s all. Any unknown people that DM me about what I've said get pleasantries and then my CashApp link. My time arguing or explaining, isn’t free. Yeah, I could not respond, but the CashApp link gives the person a chance to gift me and THEN I can gift them with my time and thoughts. I guess that’s somewhat passive income LOL.

LHCF arguments: I’ve been visiting this site for ~13 years. I feel like you all are an internet sisterhood of BW that are in my demographic and I share a bond and kindred spirit with you all. You all can get under my skin more than random FB people. I think I’ve done pretty well lately about not arguing here though even though I want to sometimes. There were a few posts in this thread that I typed an argument and didn’t hit send.

Now, this here man I LOVE...I need more discipline because he knows how to bring out the best and worst of me. I’ll go into shut down or stop talking mode and he’ll push all my buttons when I’m in shut down mode. Sometimes, I leave the room or the house.
I need a better strategy with him because he knows me too well and I care about his thoughts and opinions—maybe charm warfare, like an, “Awww babe don’t be like that” when he starts pushing my buttons. Tears only work sometimes. Any other thoughts?

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Can anyone answer this question about floral arrangements: I typically buy flowers from the local Trader Joe's. They look pretty for about a week but I've never really noticed that they are particularly fragrant. I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers earlier this week and although they started to brown quickly, the fragrance remains pretty strong. What accounts for the difference in fragrance as opposed to the flowers from Trader Joe's?

Were they different types of flowers? I’ve noticed that lilies have a very strong smell as opposed to other flowers.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Were they different types of flowers? I’ve noticed that lilies have a very strong smell as opposed to other flowers.

Yes they did include lilies now that you mention it. Hmm maybe I can mix TJs roses with lilies from the local florist in the future?

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Participants -

@PrissiSippi
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717




Recap

Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner

Week 2: Print or Buy a planner. Make sure you write down and plan to do things that encompass your femininity. How many times will you cook for your family so they can practice dinner etiquette? How many minutes will you hold each child a day (10-15 minutes?) How will you polish your femininity EACH day, how will you spend one on one time with your spouse each day? Have you made time to go out with a female this week to talk girl talk? Make a plan, be intentional, and write it down.

Week 3: Be more present- Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be a phone zombie. Practice makes permanent. Constantly work on cultivating your femininity by being very present with DH, SO, your children, and friends. Choose human interactions vs social media interactions this week.

Week 4: Accept him- Accept him for who he is. This includes his strengths, his weaknesses, his goals, or lack of him. He is a person full of triumphs as well as flaws just like you. (This goal is continuous)
February- Inner Self Work
Week 5: Polish Your Poise- No one can take you out of your feminine grace except you. Work on not being reactive to problems and asserting your needs but in a gentle way. Work on your look, attitude, gratitude, gaze, and overall spirit.

Week 6: Self Preservation is Key- Learn to protect your peace. Put YOU first. Have a drama blocking plan to protect yourself.

Week 7: What's in a Voice- Work on your feminine voice. Smile. Have a sing-song sweet voice at all times...especially times of struggle.

Week 8: Rock Your Wardrobe- Aim to look feminine, put together, and GOOD every day.
Week 9: Turn Rituals Into Routine
March- Home Living
Week 10: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 11: Focus on Your Home Aromas
Week 12: How Clean Is Your Home
Week 13: Set the Tone in Your Home: Make Your House a Haven
April-
Week 14: Clean Up Your Social Media Accounts
Week 15: Be more mysterious: Work on your Feminine Mystique
Week 16: Take the Help/Compliments
Week 17: Got Milk? Milk Baths
May- Strategically Selfish
Week 18: You Are the Prize
Week 19: Don’t Let them Move Your Goal Post
Week 20: Put On Your Oxygen Mask First
Week 21: Drop the need to be Right: Focus Instead



Week 20: Drop the need to be right. Focus instead.

When you argue you lose focus on your own goals. Don’t be fooled. This is often a tool to get sucked into mediocrity while making you forget your own goals. Don’t argue. With your husband, man, child, friends, and associates. It very rarely causes them to shift their perspective. Drop the need to be right. Maybe you do have a point and a great point. Maybe you don’t lol. Maybe they’re not ready for it. Maybe they have another motive. Maybe they just want to throw you off.

We are addicted to being right. We get a rush of dopamine just for being “right”. But your happiness should not be contingent on who is agreeing with you. Beyonce said it best, “I tend to walk alone, but I’m alone for a reason.” You May not walk with a large crowd when it comes to being divinely feminine. You will have many ways and habits that set you apart from others.
Some of the controversial habits will be:
-plating food
-buying flowers
-wearing dresses and skirts
-making sleep a priority and not an afterthought
-talking in a sweet voice
-serving your husband first
-not spanking your children and redirecting them often
-differentiating into boy and girl chores and masculine vs feminine zones
-staying at home
-entrepreneurship/passive income
-Being your child’s primary teacher not the public school districts.

This is okay. When someone tries to reel you back in to shift your perspective please stay focused. Your health, peace, and success of your family is at stake. How could you stay in your feminine zone and protect your peace but still assert yourself without arguing?

Week 21 Challenge
1. When we argue we lose focus. ALWAYS think of the end point. Arguing very rarely EVER causes the other person to change their view point. Because of this how will you “only be mad for 5 minutes”? How can you redirect and focus on the end goal? Strategize.


Understand that learning to be strategically selfish is a tool that takes you a step closer to YOUR OWN PERSONAL SUCCESS and balance, serenity, and peace.

-You’re feeling stressed, take a nap.
-You don’t have the money to pay a bill (if you’re married) don’t worry about it. Let figure that out. That’s not on you.
-Someone argues that they eat on styrofoam plates every night and their family eats just fine. So what? Be selfish. It’s not your job to save them. Save those that want to be saved. Give them time to figure things out on their own and seek your counsel later if needed. Save yourself and your family first.
- Black lives matter, who eats first, polygamy and more debates in social media? Be strategically selfish. Explain yourself but keep it short, to the point, and walk away. If they want information they will come to you. If they don’t...that’s fine too. Save yourself first.
- Dating lol your objective is to secure the bag. Don’t be getting sucked into political views and these deep conversations. Dating should be fun. And if you pick a man it should be on YOUR TERMS not his. Don’t let these men pick through you by getting into your head and talking all political. Keep the end goal at the forefront. Use your femininity as a tool to get the best living for you and your children. Because that’s EXACTLY what he’s doing.
- Your husband/SO acts a booty. Drop the need to be right. Is it any OTHER way you can get what you want without arguing/disrespecting him?

Strategy and timing is ESSENTIAL to living a successful and peaceful life.

I honestly am no longer friends with people who push my buttons on SM- including hoteps and hoteptress, participants of the struggle olympics, and of course southern strategy repubs. I go there to lurk and like. And occasionally post. I have to deal with enough irl- being surrounded by right wing nuts.
I’ve gotten a lot better with dh. For instance we were having a conversation about children, education- things that are in my lane- and I realized that he knows nothing
I didn’t debate him. Why would I waste time debating facts? I listened and moved on. Why ruin a lovely dinner?
And I may have found a friend in femininity at work! She’s an older lady who apprehensively approached me to discuss Botox. I was like b, keep that face snatched! She takes care of herself- eats salads for lunch . She’s sorta self centered but I love it. I mean why not?

 

[NijaG]

Back a few weeks we touched on YOU ARE THE PRIZE

I’ve been noticing that men in my vicinity have it drilled into themselves from BIRTH they are the prize. It has made me realize that black women seem to believe that they can only be loved conditional but men believe they are the bees-neez just from being men alone. Just frombeing birn they think they are destined for help, love, wealth, and more. And even if they’re “undeserving” they get it. How sway?

Women are told:

Girl nobody want a nasty wife/wife that can’t cook.

No man wants a man they have to take care of. Learn to be very independent

@PrissiSippi

I didn’t want to quote the whole msg, but love the post and agree with what you said about the strong message of men (BM) being the prize when it comes male/female leap dynamics in the black community.

I posted this in one of the Royal wedding threads.

*******************************
I know there was mention of how some posters didn’t like the way Megan looked at Harry in some of the pics leading to the wedding.

For those, the general feeling was it made her look too “into” him and it could be a problem or so.

I hope I can get my point across.

I think because many of therelationships we see with celeb Black/Blackish women or black wives/so of many black male celebs tends to end up with them not being really cherish and “covered” as @hopeful would say.
There is this almost instinctive advise to black women by other BW to protect themselves and be onalert just because of the frequency at which we get burned.

When you have a man who truly loves and “covers” you, then there is no need to really hide the wayyou feel about him.

The way she looks at him is actually a weapon in Megan’s hands or eyes, lol. She knows it too.

I bet he feels about 9ft tall and like such the “Man”.

All she has to do is dim the look and he is going to all up under her trying to figure out what’s wrong and what he can do to fix it.

Unless he falls out of love with herand stops caring, she can look at him as wide-eyed, and “you’re myhero” as she like.

Harry is not trying to mess that up