52 Weeks Towards Divine Femininity

[PrissiSippi]

Those are gorgeous. What do you mean by the bolded?

Someone in this thread told me to be mindful that the leaves are NOT in the water. They will decompose and cause the flowers to die quicker. So if you were to look at the water in my vase, you only see stems. There are no leaves. I cut any leaves that are below the water line.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I tried the coconut milk bath for the first time today.

• 1 (13.5-ounce) can coconut milk (Bought at Dollar Tree)
• 2 tablespoons honey
• 5-10 drops lavender pure essential oil
• 10 drops of tea tree oil
• 5 drops of peppermint oil
• Lavender Epsom Salt

I took my bath after this intense Power Yoga session. I felt soooo good after. It felt like it did my soul and my body good. My skin feels soooo soft. But I honestly don’t know if it’s bevause of the bath or my lotion afterwards because I took my time and made sure I moisturized and pampered myself after the bath since it felt soooo good.

 

[PrissiSippi]

My best friend has asked to join the challenge. Ima just upload her pics since she’s not on the board lol. She’s African so her meals may inspire some of y’all that cook international meals.

Lemon Pepper Wings
Shrimp and Grits
Shrimp Etouffe
And
Quinoa Salad

I’m soooo proud of her y’all. She JUST STARTED PLATING two weeks ago. Wow just wow. She’s a natural.

 

[MamaBear2012]

I've decided to commit to working out. Prior to my kids, I was always known for being fairly thin. I'm not big now, and I still fit into my pre-baby clothes, but my body shape has changed, and ANY amount of weight gain looks huge on my frame. So, I'm shooting for at least 3 days a week that I make it to the gym. And on the days that I'm not at the gym, I need to walk around my neighborhood.

I hung out with a girlfriend this morning. It felt great. I'm doing these tips all out of order, but I'm getting there.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I've decided to commit to working out. Prior to my kids, I was always known for being fairly thin. I'm not big now, and I still fit into my pre-baby clothes, but my body shape has changed, and ANY amount of weight gain looks huge on my frame. So, I'm shooting for at least 3 days a week that I make it to the gym. And on the days that I'm not at the gym, I need to walk around my neighborhood.

I hung out with a girlfriend this morning. It felt great. I'm doing these tips all out of order, but I'm getting there.

It’s all a journey not a destination! It doesn’t matter what is the order of the tips you take. It just matters that you’re consistently moving towards YOUR goal. Get it girl! #GoalGetter

 

[Supervixen]

Does anyone follow Nicole Michelle and her Inner Beauty Movement?

 

[PrissiSippi]

Does anyone follow Nicole Michelle and her Inner Beauty Movement?

Lol you know I do because she’s a Ro girl. She tried to copy Ro soooo much but she does too much and she contradicts Ro’s message.

Like today. Her bs got on my nerves! Talking about non black men know how to treat a true masculine black man. Basically she’s like be like Becky and get a man.

Naw son. How about non black know how to treat black women by exposing them to a lifestyle where they don’t expect them to be a work mule while expecting them to pay 50/50 on everything but expecting the woman to do the majority of work. They actually expect to be married instead of having out of wedlock babies and introducing us to poverty like it’s going out of style.

I dunno; it just seems her message gets muddled. She’s an extreme pick me to me. I went back and forth with her this week before I had to remember I made a decision to stop that arguing stuff.

Talking about get you a man that’s all the matters. Why does it matters that he makes less than you?

What you mean why does it matter?Because really what can you offer me other than bubblegum and spit. SHE said something to the lines if I were truly feminine I could nurture a man to greatness but we all know you can’t nurture a dusty that doesn’t want to be anything but a dusty. And what’s up with all this building when the man has NO TOOLS at all. No thank you. Then she turns and twists financial respect to mean you should expect any and everything from a man. And if this is the case why didn’t she just re-marry with any XY chromosome she saw coming down the street? Any man should do.

She can’t believe the vile ish she speaks. Ew and ew.

 

[Supervixen]

Lol you know I do because she’s a Ro girl. She tried to copy Ro soooo much but she does too much and she contradicts Ro’s message.

Like today. Her bs got on my nerves! Talking about non black men know how to treat a true masculine black man. Basically she’s like be like Becky and get a man.

Naw son. How about non black know how to treat black women by exposing them to a lifestyle where they don’t expect them to be a work mule while expecting them to pay 50/50 on everything but expecting the woman to do the majority of work. They actually expect to be married instead of having out of wedlock babies and introducing us to poverty like it’s going out of style.

I dunno; it just seems her message gets muddled. She’s an extreme pick me to me. I went back and forth with her this week before I had to remember I made a decision to stop that arguing stuff.

Talking about get you a man that’s all the matters. Why does it matters that he makes less than you?

What you mean why does it matter?Because really what can you offer me other than bubblegum and spit. SHE said something to the lines if I were truly feminine I could nurture a man to greatness but we all know you can’t nurture a dusty that doesn’t want to be anything but a dusty. And what’s up with all this building when the man has NO TOOLS at all. No thank you. Then she turns and twists financial respect to mean you should expect any and everything from a man. And if this is the case why didn’t she just re-marry with any XY chromosome she saw coming down the street? Any man should do.

She can’t believe the vile ish she speaks. Ew and ew.

I think she tries to pander to the black, Red Pill dudes. I listen to quite a few of them just to have both sides of the bm vs bw story. She was even a guest on Oshay Duke Jackson of NegroManOSphere.

I read the 'any man will do' discussion. You were feminine and gentle and RIGHT. ANY man WILL NOT do. EVER. Ro and her mentors speak about men being healthy regularly and Ro has a whole chapter devoted to determining a man's health in her book.

I really have mixed feelings about Ro, but she's light years ahead of Ms. Nicole Michelle.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I think she tries to pander to the black, Red Pill dudes. I listen to quite a few of them just to have both sides of the bm vs bw story. She was even a guest on Oshay Duke Jackson of NegroManOSphere.

I read the 'any man will do' discussion. You were feminine and gentle and RIGHT. ANY man WILL NOT do. EVER. Ro and her mentors speak about men being healthy regularly and Ro has a whole chapter devoted to determining a man's health in her book.

I really have mixed feelings about Ro, but she's light years ahead of Ms. Nicole Michelle.

Light years ahead. I think Nicole is just simply a copy cat. Because the any male will do contradicts a HEALTHY man.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Does anyone follow Nicole Michelle and her Inner Beauty Movement?

What platform is she on?
Nvm after reading priss’ post

 

[Brwnbeauti]

I’ve noticed that dh is more inclined to do things for me rather than asking me to do things for him. One of our oldest spats was who picks up the food- we were keeping score, then I started going most of the time because I thought keeping score was unhealthy. Now he will ask what I want and promptly go get it.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I’ve noticed that dh is more inclined to do things for me rather than asking me to do things for him. One of our oldest spats was who picks up the food- we were keeping score, then I started going most of the time because I thought keeping score was unhealthy. Now he will ask what I want and promptly go get it.

I think this is often what happens in healthy relationships. He notices a shift and appreciates what you do for him so he tries to balance it out by catering more to you out of love.

 

[awhyley]

My best friend has asked to join the challenge. Ima just upload her pics since she’s not on the board lol. She’s African so her meals may inspire some of y’all that cook international meals.

Lemon Pepper Wings
Shrimp and Grits
Shrimp Etouffe
And
Quinoa Salad

I’m soooo proud of her y’all. She JUST STARTED PLATING two weeks ago. Wow just wow. She’s a natural.

Dang, she is good! Tell her to keep going

 

[PrissiSippi]

Participants -

@PrissiSippi
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717




Recap

Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner

Week 2: Print or Buy a planner. Make sure you write down and plan to do things that encompass your femininity. How many times will you cook for your family so they can practice dinner etiquette? How many minutes will you hold each child a day (10-15 minutes?) How will you polish your femininity EACH day, how will you spend one on one time with your spouse each day? Have you made time to go out with a female this week to talk girl talk? Make a plan, be intentional, and write it down.

Week 3: Be more present- Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be a phone zombie. Practice makes permanent. Constantly work on cultivating your femininity by being very present with DH, SO, your children, and friends. Choose human interactions vs social media interactions this week.

Week 4: Accept him- Accept him for who he is. This includes his strengths, his weaknesses, his goals, or lack of him. He is a person full of triumphs as well as flaws just like you. (This goal is continuous)
February- Inner Self Work
Week 5: Polish Your Poise- No one can take you out of your feminine grace except you. Work on not being reactive to problems and asserting your needs but in a gentle way. Work on your look, attitude, gratitude, gaze, and overall spirit.

Week 6: Self Preservation is Key- Learn to protect your peace. Put YOU first. Have a drama blocking plan to protect yourself.

Week 7: What's in a Voice- Work on your feminine voice. Smile. Have a sing-song sweet voice at all times...especially times of struggle.

Week 8: Rock Your Wardrobe- Aim to look feminine, put together, and GOOD every day.
Week 9: Turn Rituals Into Routine
March- Home Living
Week 10: Beautify Your Enviroment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 11: Focus on Your Home Aromas
Week 12: How Clean Is Your Home
Week 13: Set the Tone in Your Home: Make Your House a Haven
April-
Week 14: Clean Up Your Social Media Accounts
Week 15: Be more mysterious: Work on your Feminine Mystique
Week 16: Take the Help/Compliments
Week 17: Got Milk? Milk Baths
Week 18: You Are the Prize

Week 18: you are the prize

Making yourself too available makes it seem like you're desperate/dull/boring/clingy.


If he wants you to be available all the time, then he can marry you.


If a man wants to get to know you, he will take actions indicating so. He will call you, he'll ask to spend time with you, he'll pay, he'll ask you questions, he'll answer your questions about his life and where he's going, he'll vet you to see if you meet his standards.


It seems like men have this down packed to be honest. They can have 50-1 kids, bank account in the negative, no career, no nothing but they go for the highest of the high quality women. Why is this? On the inside no matter their pitfalls they see themselves as the prize and they play this up to get their best possible wife to raise their children/legacy. Why should it be any different for you?

Ask for what you want. Don’t accept less.
Be sweet and polite but form on your boundaries.
If you don’t have boundaries...make a few.
Adopt the mindset that YOU are the prize.

“I'm the Queen, I'm the prize and any man trying to date me is entering my court. He is first a peasant, then my Favourite if he becomes my SO.”​

Week 18 Challenge
1. In what ways do you need to change to get into the whole mantra that you are the prize?
2. As a continuation from last week in your planner, write down something small you will do for yourself every day Ex: Walk, plate food, go experience nature, go to a fitness class, have brunch with the girls, go to a concert. Make sure it benefits you and mostly only you. Be strategically selfish as it relates to polishing your femininity. ​

 

[Maracujá]

In what ways do you need to change to get into the whole mantra that you are the prize?

Right now it mostly involves listening to sermons about Biblical Womanhood and songs that uplift women. Such as Beautiful Flower by India Arie or Beautiful Girl by Trin-I-Tee 5:7. This is my Achilles heel, because from the moment a man shows 1 inch of interest in me, I go all the way and the roles are reversed: I start to pursue him and in the process, he loses interest very quickly. So that's basically what I need to work on.

On a very practical level: just stop chasing things. Whether it be jobs, family members, friends or what have you. Women are supposed to attract things to themselves, not chase after them. So if it doesn't come the way God wants it to, I let it go. This whole chase culture wears one out, to the point that you can't even radiate anymore, like a woman is supposed to.

 

[Supervixen]

In what ways must I change to be the prize?


What a question!!!! Letting go of people gracefully has changed my life. I celebrated my birthday Monday and I noticed that the people that called and texted were all people that bring me joy!

 

[JFemme]

In what ways do you need to change to get into the whole mantra that you are the prize?

Right now it mostly involves listening to sermons about Biblical Womanhood and songs that uplift women. Such as Beautiful Flower by India Arie or Beautiful Girl by Trin-I-Tee 5:7. This is my Achilles heel, because from the moment a man shows 1 inch of interest in me, I go all the way and the roles are reversed: I start to pursue him and in the process, he loses interest very quickly. So that's basically what I need to work on.

On a very practical level: just stop chasing things. Whether it be jobs, family members, friends or what have you. Women are supposed to attract things to themselves, not chase after them. So if it doesn't come the way God wants it to, I let it go. This whole chase culture wears one out, to the point that you can't even radiate anymore, like a woman is supposed to.

(I'm not in this challenge) just wanted to say...how much I love your post..

 

[tmv1]

Back from my niece's birthday, she LOVED her gifts which totally delighted my heart! Here's what I made for her, as she is 13 and is starting to be conscious about healthy eating habits:

This is what the table looked like (#filter):

well done!!

 

[PrissiSippi]

I need to stop being sooooo friendly. This is not the word I'm looking for though. I went to a professional social. I looked good. Do you hear me? I looked GOODT. I had on a nice little dress. I used my tips on how to work a room. I bought a martini and sat close to the bar and sat alone but people naturally started being driven to me. I noticed one guy kept looking at me. I played it cool. Another girl began to talk to me so the guy came over and spoke to the girl. This is a guy that I used to always check out in high school. I wasn't all that then...but look at me now. Instead of waiting on HIM to come COMPLETELY to me and speak when he got to the girl I said OHHHH HEYYYY Mike. I was too eager. He smiled and of course came over and chopped it up with me but I thought in my head....I'm still trying to pursue. Let him come to me....COMPLETELY before I give the okay because I AM the prize.

Boundaries is always a way I can work on being the prize. There are a lot of people that down deserve my presence. My mother tried to tell me that she's my mother and I'ma just have to get used to how she talks to me because she's my mother at the end of the day. I heard her. I listened. Then I said...I have to go good bye. No explanation. No bickering back and forth YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK TO ME LIKE THIS. Naw son. It was just hi and bye just like that. Good day if you don't bring me peace. She later called me to tell em I only call her when it's convenient. I said yup you're right...when it's not convenient to my peace....I stay away. Point blank.

 

[snoop]

In what ways must I change to be the prize?


What a question!!!! Letting go of people gracefully has changed my life. I celebrated my birthday Monday and I noticed that the people that called and texted were all people that bring me joy!

Happy belated birthday!

 

[Supervixen]

Happy belated birthday!

Thank you dear!!!! It was a wonderful day!

 

[PrissiSippi]

In what ways must I change to be the prize?


What a question!!!! Letting go of people gracefully has changed my life. I celebrated my birthday Monday and I noticed that the people that called and texted were all people that bring me joy!

Happy Belated Birthday beloved!!

 

[Supervixen]

Happy Belated Birthday beloved!!

Thank you so much darling!

 

[MamaBear2012]

In what ways do you need to change to get into the whole mantra that you are the prize?

Right now it mostly involves listening to sermons about Biblical Womanhood and songs that uplift women. Such as Beautiful Flower by India Arie or Beautiful Girl by Trin-I-Tee 5:7. This is my Achilles heel, because from the moment a man shows 1 inch of interest in me, I go all the way and the roles are reversed: I start to pursue him and in the process, he loses interest very quickly. So that's basically what I need to work on.

On a very practical level: just stop chasing things. Whether it be jobs, family members, friends or what have you. Women are supposed to attract things to themselves, not chase after them. So if it doesn't come the way God wants it to, I let it go. This whole chase culture wears one out, to the point that you can't even radiate anymore, like a woman is supposed to.

Can you point me in the direction of any of the sermons you have been listening to about Biblical Womanhood? I'm always looking for books, articles, podcasts, etc. on this topic.

 

[Maracujá]

Can you point me in the direction of any of the sermons you have been listening to about Biblical Womanhood? I'm always looking for books, articles, podcasts, etc. on this topic.

@cam2717 Sure!


These series were really good and most of Nancy Leigh Demoss Wolgemuth's books are really good as well. Her website, Revive Our Hearts, is also a very good resource.


Another source I really like as it pertains to this matter, is Voddie Baucham. He's very thorough and really applies Biblical principles to this matter. He's also written books about family, but I haven't read those yet.


Paul Washer is also very good with this subject, he's friends with Voddie Baucham, so I think they both inspire each other.

Some other great resources:



http://www.letgodbetrue.com/proverbs/proverbs.php?chapter=31 (read the commentaries on Proverbs 31)

Also, John Piper gives great counsel when it comes to womanhood and motherhood.
HTH

 

[MamaBear2012]

@cam2717 Sure!


These series were really good and most of Nancy Leigh Demoss Wolgemuth's books are really good as well. Her website, Revive Our Hearts, is also a very good resource.


Another source I really like as it pertains to this matter, is Voddie Baucham. He's very thorough and really applies Biblical principles to this matter. He's also written books about family, but I haven't read those yet.


Paul Washer is also very good with this subject, he's friends with Voddie Baucham, so I think they both inspire each other.

Some other great resources:



http://www.letgodbetrue.com/proverbs/proverbs.php?chapter=31 (read the commentaries on Proverbs 31)

Also, John Piper gives great counsel when it comes to womanhood and motherhood.
HTH

Thanks so much! I will go through this list this weekend.

 

[Supervixen]

I need to work on being angry for less than 5 minutes.

DH and I were both legitimately busy for about 5 minutes. I was upstairs and he was downstairs with the princesses. He gave them their dry erase markers that were for their easel. I dont let them play with the dry erase markers or easel in the family room, but he didn't know and was otherwise occupied.

I came downstairs and the dry erase markers had been on every bit of family room wall they could reach.

I've been angry all day.




I had been considering making one of the walls a chalkboard or dry erase whiteboard for them. Now, the whole bottom half of my family will have to be. Ugh.

 

[snoop]

I need to work on being angry for less than 5 minutes.

DH and I were both legitimately busy for about 5 minutes. I was upstairs and he was downstairs with the princesses. He gave them their dry erase markers that were for their easel. I dont let them play with the dry erase markers or easel in the family room, but he didn't know and was otherwise occupied.

I came downstairs and the dry erase markers had been on every bit of family room wall they could reach.

I've been angry all day.




I had been considering making one of the walls a chalkboard or dry erase whiteboard for them. Now, the whole bottom half of my family will have to be. Ugh.

Yeah, I've been working on that for years. I think it's starting to work in the past few weeks...

Part of what I'm struggling with this femininity challenge has to do with the idea of emotional labour and being covered (read some interesting threads on this board about both). In my house, DH would get mad at me for being mad at him for allowing the kids to play with those markers.... but saying something about it is problematic, too... viscous cycle!

OAN -- do they wipe off with soap and water?

 

[Supervixen]

Yeah, I've been working on that for years. I think it's starting to work in the past few weeks...

Part of what I'm struggling with this femininity challenge has to do with the idea of emotional labour and being covered (read some interesting threads on this board about both). In my house, DH would get mad at me for being mad at him for allowing the kids to play with those markers.... but saying something about it is problematic, too... viscous cycle!

OAN -- do they wipe off with soap and water?

You know my life!!!

That is EXACTLY what happened/happens. He gets mad at me when he messes up and I react with any emotion besides calmness. I know "Fascinating Womanhood" says to kinda look the other way to give him time to make it right or to quickly fix it. This isn't the first time they've taken markers to a wall under his (usually brief) supervision. The last time was much less, but I cleaned it off and took the anger out on the marker stains.

This time I tried to be quiet and asked to take a nap to let some steam off and give him some time to try to get a plan or fix it. When I arose he and the girls were eating delivery pizza and watching their favorite movie like the walls don't have have pink and purple scribble all over. That reignited me and I couldn't hold it in. You're giving them treats--like they were good girls!

I thought he would've packed them up and gotten whatever 90% alcohol solution he needed to make it somewhat right. Nope. Nope. Nope.

I will say he usually tries to quickly right his wrongs when I stay calm, but goodness forbid I get angry. It is like a license for him to get angrier. Anger is masculine, so now that you say your DH acts the same, I'm guessing us reacting with anger (masculinity) causes them to react with more anger (more masculinity)???? @Zaynab @PrissiSippi Is this normal for men? I guess this is why femininity suggests to stay in control of your emotion and to get sad not mad???

I asked if he knew the easel and the markers were with them in the family room when I said I had to go upstairs and he said yeah yeah yeah, I gave it to them. So, you gave a 3 year old and an almost 2 year markers and walked away?!? I'm trying not to think the obvious, but...yeah, that is what they were going to do.

@snoop do you recall the emotional labor coverage thread names? I need more answers now.


Thanks for being here beauties!!!!

 

[snoop]

@Supervixen

For me the term "emotional labour" was new before I read this thread. You need to look past the title of the thread and check out the attached articles. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that any real solutions were given since this seems to be prevalent in a lot of marriages.

I think that part of my "problem" is that I took that lead and became the one responsible for a lot of household thing, however, I do like down time. It's not "feminine" or fair to be stressed out taking care of an able bodied person without the same level of reciprocation. E.g. I created a very large, very bright wall calendar to track household events. It sits in our kitchen, essentially beside our fridge -- a prominent spot in the house. I created this because I track everything on my phone and I was feeling like my event tracking services were being taken for granted. One afternoon, he is standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF the calendar...I'm in the NEXT ROOM...and he asks "what's the date today?"

I'd love if someone could provide some suggestions on how to balance the serving and caring side of femininity (which I'm good at/with) with creating over dependency.