52 Weeks Towards Divine Femininity

Plated for my own personal royal family today. We had Chicken Tetrazinni with a Side Salad with Pecans, grape tomatoes, croutons, cucumbers, sharp cheddar cheese, ranch, spinach, 50\50 mix, and onions.

Served on our classic white plates with cloth napkins, wine glasses, and elegance of course.
 

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How are we going about using our planner to be intentional about doing stuff for yourself. Running, exercising, yoga, lighting candles, taking a long bath, going to the movies, hitting up a new spot, getting your nails done, a facial, getting your makeup done, buying new lingerie, pole dancing class, jazz club outing, pottery. Whatever it is, what have you done for yourself this week? Are you intentionally putting it in your planner? Are you deliberately making time for yourself? How important is it that you love all over yourself?
 
rafikichick92 said:
Anyone have tips on how to smile more? FH keeps telling me I look intense when people are talking to me. I'm not, I'm just concentrating (or nervous) and I'm not conscious of my face.
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1. Set a cue to smile. It’s like a reminder. Every time I saw my wedding ring, I used to remind myself to smile. So pick something you wear every day or see everyday and smile at that point.
2. Smile when you wake up. I tickle DS when I wake him up and it reminds me to smile.
3. Speaking of which, I do @Supervixen ‘s Power of 12 which involves kissing and hugging your loved ones (husband and children) each day. I smile when I do this because I feel so much joy.
4. Give someone a compliment each day. I smile when I do this. I don’t know if you do though.
 
A guy told me I could kill the ant beds in my yard with grits. He asked me to go ahead and do it so the baby wouldn’t step in the ants lol.

I thought about Ro. I happily obliged. No questions asked. No problem baby. (Even though I knew scientifically this probably wouldn’t work.) After two days baby those ants had run off on the plug with those grits and were still chillin.

Did I tell ole dude his idea was stupid? Nah. I quietly put some gas on the ant bed that was lying around the house and when he asked me did the grits worked I was like “oh yes! I couldn’t believe it. All the ants are gone!”

Where’s the lie? The ants were gone. Haha just not with the grits idea. However, I protected his leadership and he was so proud to have saved the day *rolls eyes*. I used Zaynab idea of the “I love a man that has leadership like when you xyz”. The next day he brought me some stuff for the dog because he noticed I was low and told me to get my nails done. Men are are simple. Stroke their ego and give them some attention and they’re fine.
 
hopeful said:
I’m proud of you @PrissiSippi. I love reading your posts in this thread. You’re an inspiration to a lot better of people.
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I needed to hear that. Thank you @hopeful . Let me tell you though it gets HARD. I try to post the good and the bad in here because I don't want it to seem like this is an easy thing to acquire. Many times I will snap out. I wanted to get out of my feminine zone so bad and scream about a week, Boy I will.... but I let it go, smiled, and redirected my energy. The end result was the same.

I had also stopped dressing with dresses last week and I stopped using my feminine voice. I didn't mean to but I was dog tired, and I started back working part time so I was getting adjusted to being around kids and with them I felt I had to be more assertive. BUT I learned more assertive does not mean I had to change ANYTHING about myself. Plus, yesterday I wore a dress and they were like....dang she's so pretty. I was like bruhhhh what did I look like those other days. I will go back to wearing my dresses every day next week.

Someone offered to do something for me to take stress off me. I started to tell them, "Nawwww that's okay." Not any more. The board taught me, if someone wants to love all over you...let them. And you don't owe them anything in return except a Thank You with a smile. That's exactly what I did.

I had started getting short with DS. A lot of the times things are quite different being the main parent at the house and him being used to playing rough and with someone at all times. I took a breather, took a glass of wine or three in my nice wine glasses seated at my dining room table, I looked at that handsome little boy and said, "Come on Priss. This is your own personal royalty....are you treating him as such?" After that, I dusted myself off, let the twinkle return to my eye, smiled at him, and kissed him all under that neck and we giggled for a good 15 minutes.

The path to divine femininity will never be an easy one for most UNLESS you have started at a very early age. However, the end result...I believe it's all worth it. It makes you very well-aware, very loving towards yourself FIRST then others, and able to receive the love around you. I am very grateful for you, the board, and my friends for leading me to it.

OAN: Yall make sure you continue to check in with your accountability partner. Mine partner told me I hadn't cooked in while. It had been a week and I hadn't even realized it. Baby guess who got themselves and got to the kitchen? This led to some other things. I went walking in the park one day, I went thrifting for kitchen stuff one day, I got some fro-yo from my favorite shop, and had some uplifting conversations all stemming from that first step of cooking and plating my food. I hope this helps someone! Remember you won't always be the first piority for others, but you can ALWAYS make the CHOICE to be the FIRST priority to yourself. Men do it all the time. Be selfish. Respect yourself. Be compassionate and nice to others and ultra-feminine in many ways, but ultimately.....make time for you FIRST.

Sorry for the long post yall.
 
PrissiSippi said:
1. Set a cue to smile. It’s like a reminder. Every time I saw my wedding ring, I used to remind myself to smile. So pick something you wear every day or see everyday and smile at that point.
2. Smile when you wake up. I tickle DS when I wake him up and it reminds me to smile.
3. Speaking of which, I do @Supervixen ‘s Power of 12 which involves kissing and hugging your loved ones (husband and children) each day. I smile when I do this because I feel so much joy.
4. Give someone a compliment each day. I smile when I do this. I don’t know if you do though.
Click to expand...

#1 is a great tip! I think I'll copy you and smile when I see my engagement ring and my nails (also an encouragement to keep my nails nice, lol). I need to work on complimenting people more as well. I was watching Sell It Like Serhant and he gave a guy the tip to just keep asking questions as a way to open up and connect with people. I feel like that would be helpful to me and adding compliments to it would be perfect!

PrissiSippi said:
A guy told me I could kill the ant beds in my yard with grits. He asked me to go ahead and do it so the baby wouldn’t step in the ants lol.

I thought about Ro. I happily obliged. No questions asked. No problem baby. (Even though I knew scientifically this probably wouldn’t work.) After two days baby those ants had run off on the plug with those grits and were still chillin.

Did I tell ole dude his idea was stupid? Nah. I quietly put some gas on the ant bed that was lying around the house and when he asked me did the grits worked I was like “oh yes! I couldn’t believe it. All the ants are gone!”

Where’s the lie? The ants were gone. Haha just not with the grits idea. However, I protected his leadership and he was so proud to have saved the day *rolls eyes*. I used Zaynab idea of the “I love a man that has leadership like when you xyz”. The next day he brought me some stuff for the dog because he noticed I was low and told me to get my nails done. Men are are simple. Stroke their ego and give them some attention and they’re fine.
Click to expand...

I'm trying to get better at this. FH wanted me to congratulate this lady at work for her promotion even though I kind of didn't want to (long back story) after I told him I thought it might be weird since I work virtually. Lucky for me, she IM'ed me on Lync this AM so I snuck it in then, but after reading your post, I decided to text FH and tell him I did as he suggested. Hopefully it makes him happy that I listened to him.
 
So a bird made a nest on our grill. Dh call s me out and he’s like look. I said “okay, take care of it” came back in the house and threw my blanket over my shoulders. He’s cleaning the grill now.
I know this time last year I’d have been or there with him- trying to tell him what to do - this year I’m laid back. Letting him handle things. It’s so crazy how the world tells us we have to do all that extra but all men need is money. Cray.
I’m still struggling with dressing the part. After my bath I really wanted to put on a T-shirt and leggings- instead I put on a maxi dress.
 
PrissiSippi said:
@Maracujá how have you been? How is everything coming along? Have you been updating your blog with stuff from the challenge. I could see you spinning this stuff into something cool for your blog. Isn't it a lifestyle blog?
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@PrissiSippi Thanks for thinking about me:). To be honest, I've been discouraged lately. The more positive steps I take, the more resistance there is from the outside world. Right now my older sister is my accountability partner, she's the epitome of a homemaker and I love taking advice from her.

Though I am discouraged, here are some steps I've taken in the last few days:

* If it ain't positive, I ain't posting it on FB. Get very little thumbs up for this, but I prefer it this way.
* Bought some perforated sleeves for my files and I'm organizing my recipes per season. The files leave much to be desired, but I can still change it in the future.
* Optimized my cleaning routine, so that I'm doing a little every day, instead of cleaning all day.
* You spoke about not sleeping in a single's bed, which is not possible for me; but yesterday I was on the tram and wanted to sit on a single seat. Instead, I sat on the place for four people and put my bag next to me:yep:.

As for my blog: I work 8h/day, by the time I'm home, I'm too tired. On days that I'm off, I'm not too encouraged to update it. My sister relayed a story to me, about a person who waited 7 years before people started reading her blog. That encouraged me, don't know if I'm that patient though:look:.
 
Brwnbeauti said:
So a bird made a nest on our grill. Dh call s me out and he’s like look. I said “okay, take care of it” came back in the house and threw my blanket over my shoulders. He’s cleaning the grill now.
I know this time last year I’d have been or there with him- trying to tell him what to do - this year I’m laid back. Letting him handle things. It’s so crazy how the world tells us we have to do all that extra but all men need is money. Cray.
I’m still struggling with dressing the part. After my bath I really wanted to put on a T-shirt and leggings- instead I put on a maxi dress.
Click to expand...
Make sure to touch hubby and say thank you for cleaning out the grill. That was thoughtful. He stayed on top of it! Lol. I’m scared of stuff like that.
 
I tried my stab at plating my the oatmeal again. This time it was made with added frozen blueberries, natural peanut butter, and honey roasted pecans from my salad mixes.

This was soooo filling I honestly couldn’t get through it. I wish I had some chia seeds. Sooo much protein in one meal. I probably need this. I often forget to eat.

My best friend tried this as well. Lol she made it for her and her dad and served it to him with both hands. Lol. He looked at her and smiled and laughed. She was baffled. Why are you laughing? He said, “It’s so beautiful. It looks like it came from a restaurant. I was taken aback but I’m so happy. I can tell you took your time into this. And it’s just a regular day’s breakfast. Thank you. ”

She told me she enjoyed her breakfast so much more because of the thought and time she put into it. I’m glad I could spread a little joy to my friends lives through doing the SAME things we’ve doing and turning routines into rituals. :2inlove:
 

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I'm feeling convicted now with all of the plating. Sometimes when the family is eating, I'll just whip up a salad. Having a grilled chicken salad with roasted cauliflower on the side is just the perfect meal for me. So, I'll often make this for myself. But DH always wants me to make him a salad when I make myself one. I'm usually like, "I have all the ingredients sitting right here. Just put them together." And he always says,"You make pretty salads though. And yours taste better." It annoyed me before, but now I'm getting it.

DS isn't quite 2 years old yet, but he's a really good eater. I've been trying to make sure that he loves fruits and veggies and he does. But I kept thinking about how to make a salad for him when I make one for myself. The carrots would be too big and too hard, he doesn't like the lettuce if I let him pick it from my plate...it just seemed like something he'd have to wait to eat. Then it hit me! I used to eat this salad that was finely chopped and I loved it. So, on Friday I basically minced the lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, and cucumbers. Then I crumbled some croutons on top. Then drizzled a little bit of salad dressing. This was a side salad for both of my kids just to see if they would eat it. DS ate every bit off of the plate, and then tried to start digging his fork into DD's plate. She is so picky, so she didn't want hers and she pushed the plate over to him. He ate the whole thing!

On another note, I wore a dress today and this man came up to me at church to tell me how beautiful I looked. It completely caught me off-guard, but I just said, "Oh, thanks."
 
cam2717 said:
I'm feeling convicted now with all of the plating. Sometimes when the family is eating, I'll just whip up a salad. Having a grilled chicken salad with roasted cauliflower on the side is just the perfect meal for me. So, I'll often make this for myself. But DH always wants me to make him a salad when I make myself one. I'm usually like, "I have all the ingredients sitting right here. Just put them together." And he always says,"You make pretty salads though. And yours taste better." It annoyed me before, but now I'm getting it.

DS isn't quite 2 years old yet, but he's a really good eater. I've been trying to make sure that he loves fruits and veggies and he does. But I kept thinking about how to make a salad for him when I make one for myself. The carrots would be too big and too hard, he doesn't like the lettuce if I let him pick it from my plate...it just seemed like something he'd have to wait to eat. Then it hit me! I used to eat this salad that was finely chopped and I loved it. So, on Friday I basically minced the lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, and cucumbers. Then I crumbled some croutons on top. Then drizzled a little bit of salad dressing. This was a side salad for both of my kids just to see if they would eat it. DS ate every bit off of the plate, and then tried to start digging his fork into DD's plate. She is so picky, so she didn't want hers and she pushed the plate over to him. He ate the whole thing!

On another note, I wore a dress today and this man came up to me at church to tell me how beautiful I looked. It completely caught me off-guard, but I just said, "Oh, thanks."
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Lol Most men can’t look it look as good as we do. They can have all the tools ingredients right in front of them and still be looking crazy.

It’s so amazing how different men and women are. I hope he is so appreciative of a beautiful wife that took the time to present and serve him food that tastes amazing but looks amazing as well!

My dad likes his salads chopped finely like that. Sometimes when I’m not lazy and in the mood I do this too so I can taste every bite. It tastes sooooo good.

As it relates to compliments, in the mirror I would suggest practice smiling and saying thank you deliberate. Man that’s so intriguing about my mother. She’s so intentional with her beauty. This oooooooold white dude stood behind us in a elevator and said ladies I want to tell you all are just so beautiful. I’ve never seen two women as radiant as you too. I lowered my head, started blushing, didn’t know what to say, felt like ewwww this man old. My mother? She looked him dead in the eye touched his back and said....why thank you. You’re so handsome yourself. And she proceeded to walk off slow. Man how that man looked at her I’ll never forget. You are beautiful. Own up to it.
 
Maracujá said:
@PrissiSippi Thanks for thinking about me:). To be honest, I've been discouraged lately. The more positive steps I take, the more resistance there is from the outside world. Right now my older sister is my accountability partner, she's the epitome of a homemaker and I love taking advice from her.

Though I am discouraged, here are some steps I've taken in the last few days:

* If it ain't positive, I ain't posting it on FB. Get very little thumbs up for this, but I prefer it this way.
* Bought some perforated sleeves for my files and I'm organizing my recipes per season. The files leave much to be desired, but I can still change it in the future.
* Optimized my cleaning routine, so that I'm doing a little every day, instead of cleaning all day.
* You spoke about not sleeping in a single's bed, which is not possible for me; but yesterday I was on the tram and wanted to sit on a single seat. Instead, I sat on the place for four people and put my bag next to me:yep:.

As for my blog: I work 8h/day, by the time I'm home, I'm too tired. On days that I'm off, I'm not too encouraged to update it. My sister relayed a story to me, about a person who waited 7 years before people started reading her blog. That encouraged me, don't know if I'm that patient though:look:.
Click to expand...
Ive been uninspired lately too. I’m mentally unorganized when it relates to the blog. I don’t know what to do with mine. I mean I could post recipes but it sometimes seems like it’s nothing but recipes. I think I need to take a look at all my hobbies and see how I can make them work in my favor. Right now I’m doing a lot of gardening, yoga, plating, open mic poetry, and creating alcoholic beverages lol. And of course increasing my femininity on the side. I just don’t know how to tie that into the blog.
 
Participants -

@PrissiSippi
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717




Recap

Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner

Week 2: Print or Buy a planner. Make sure you write down and plan to do things that encompass your femininity. How many times will you cook for your family so they can practice dinner etiquette? How many minutes will you hold each child a day (10-15 minutes?) How will you polish your femininity EACH day, how will you spend one on one time with your spouse each day? Have you made time to go out with a female this week to talk girl talk? Make a plan, be intentional, and write it down.

Week 3: Be more present- Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be a phone zombie. Practice makes permanent. Constantly work on cultivating your femininity by being very present with DH, SO, your children, and friends. Choose human interactions vs social media interactions this week.

Week 4: Accept him- Accept him for who he is. This includes his strengths, his weaknesses, his goals, or lack of him. He is a person full of triumphs as well as flaws just like you. (This goal is continuous)
February- Inner Self Work
Week 5: Polish Your Poise- No one can take you out of your feminine grace except you. Work on not being reactive to problems and asserting your needs but in a gentle way. Work on your look, attitude, gratitude, gaze, and overall spirit.

Week 6: Self Preservation is Key- Learn to protect your peace. Put YOU first. Have a drama blocking plan to protect yourself.

Week 7: What's in a Voice- Work on your feminine voice. Smile. Have a sing-song sweet voice at all times...especially times of struggle.

Week 8: Rock Your Wardrobe- Aim to look feminine, put together, and GOOD every day.
Week 9: Turn Rituals Into Routine
March- Home Living
Week 10: Beautify Your Enviroment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 11: Focus on Your Home Aromas
Week 12: How Clean Is Your Home
Week 13: Set the Tone in Your Home: Make Your House a Haven
April-
Week 14: Clean Up Your Social Media Accounts
Week 15: Be more mysterious: Work on your Feminine Mystique
Week 16: Take the Help/Compliments

Week 16: Take the Help/Compliments​

Last week we focused on being mysterious. Remember there is power in the unknown. The more mysterious you become, the more intriguing you will become. You will begin to get many more compliments/advances to help you. The key in this is letting the cape go.

Many people downplay compliments to avoid the appearance of conceit. It’s so common that sociolinguists have categorized the three responses to a compliment: acceptance, deflection or rejection. Learn to humbly accept compliments and help.
​
Many will say they don't accept the help, because they don't want anyone thinking that they owe them anything. Get this....YOU DON'T OWE THEM ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF A THANK YOU. That's it. However, if someone offers you a gift or favor, learn to accept it. Remember, the more you learn to receive, the more you have the capacity to receive.

If you want to increase your receptivity, before you start each day, take time to meditate and offer your deepest gratitude to the Universe/God. Feel WORTH of someone feeling you are awesome enough to GIVE to. Refrain from being superwoman. LET others love all on you/ help you.
​

Week 16 Challenge
1. Practice taking compliments. Every time some one says, “That’s a nice dress” or “You plook nice today”, don’t down play it. Say thank you and smile. Take it all in. You DESERVE every single compliment someone gives to you.
2. Take the help. If someone says do you need help taking these bags in or doing xyz...accept it. Say thank you and smile and let the universe help you.​
 
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^^^Love this challenge:yep:. the Bible says that the meek have servants; didn't feel like cooking this week so I ordered in (Indian food). The price I would've spent at the grocery store, was the same amount the order cost. So no losses there.

In good news heaven: my aunt and uncle are here visiting us from Angola. We haven't seen each other in nearly 30 years! They brought such a good vibe from yonder. They're staying at my sister's place in the Netherlands. On Saturday my niece asked me if I would be attending her birthday this Friday and I said no. I told her I was unable to get a day off. She brushed it off but I could tell it hurt her.

So with lots of faith - considering my boss is very strict - I asked for a day off at the last minute and guess what? She gave me two consecutive days off (Thursday and Friday + I never work on weekends!!!). So I will be able to attend my niece's birthday, she doesn't know it yet. It will be a surprise. She's a total blerd so here are the books I'll be gifting her:

81Qcrn2R4GL.jpg


9200000024565003.jpg


Was looking for a book about Ingrid Silva, the Afro-Brazilian ballerina, but there is none yet.
 
Maracujá said:
^^^Love this challenge:yep:. the Bible says that the meek have servants; didn't feel like cooking this week so I ordered in (Indian food). The price I would've spent at the grocery store, was the same amount the order cost. So no losses there.

In good news heaven: my aunt and uncle are here visiting us from Angola. We haven't seen each other in nearly 30 years! They brought such a good vibe from yonder. They're staying at my sister's place in the Netherlands. On Saturday my niece asked me if I would be attending her birthday this Friday and I said no. I told her I was unable to get a day off. She brushed it off but I could tell it hurt her.

So with lots of faith - considering my boss is very strict - I asked for a day off at the last minute and guess what? She gave me two consecutive days off (Thursday and Friday + I never work on weekends!!!). So I will be able to attend my niece's birthday, she doesn't know it yet. It will be a surprise. She's a total blerd so here are the books I'll be gifting her:

81Qcrn2R4GL.jpg


9200000024565003.jpg


Was looking for a book about Ingrid Silva, the Afro-Brazilian ballerina, but there is none yet.
Click to expand...


I love these! I want to get them for DD.
 
I’ve gotten plenty of compliments this week

1. I’m sooo intellectual
2. My pictures on Facebook look like weight watchers magazine meals :rolleyes:
3. They love it how girly I am
4. I have such a beautiful smile

I’m learning to even if I feel compelled to say something not to say anything at all if I can’t say Thank you! A smile is all that’s needed most of the time
 
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