2019 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

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Brwnbeauti said:
This week (and in the future) I will not read and reply to my work group messages. It's a steady stream of complaints. Every now and then sure, but all day, sometimes as early as 6am! But none of them are planning to quit.
So I'm like please, just stop. Limit your complaints or stop since you aren't leaving, accept it.
I'll journal soon.
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I had to get out of a few groups on Facebook. They aren't anything but bash fests. All they do is complain about their men that they're never going to leave. The focus seems to be on the MEN (who they can't control) rather than their actions and how they can protect themselves (what they can control). I'm starting to bow out of these convos and groups. Slowly but surely.
 
snoop said:
Last weekend I went on a Mommy/Son date with my biggest, little guy. We went out for lunch and it was great! He felt so special, I could see it in his eyes! It was too cold to get really dolled up, but I threw on some make up and jewelry and told him that I did it just for him.

I had him open the door for me at the restaurant, which was cute. The restaurant was fairly empty (we were in the middle of cold spell so the roads were bad and no one was out). We watched the soccer game while waiting for our food and I only used the phone once to take a picture of the two of us. I was able to just concentrate and be with him. We shared a dessert and I could cuddle with him and let him know that I thought he was special.

For the rest of the day he was mommy's little guy and I felt very feminine to be able to be mom to only him for a short time and then most of the time after for the rest of the day after we got back home.

By the end of Sunday night, I realized that I stayed off of social media for the most part all weekend. It felt so good! I think that I'll turn that into a weekend ritual.

My next step is to spend time on my personal Instagram filling it with pretty pictures and becoming inspired to be carefree -- travel, antique tea cups, English gardens, and the like.
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Oh my gosh this story was sooo touching! I'm glad he got his one on one time being mommy's special one. I felt special just reading this so I know he felt like this as well. This is so wonderful. How did it feel to be very present, carefree, and in the moment.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Oh my gosh this story was sooo touching! I'm glad he got his one on one time being mommy's special one. I felt special just reading this so I know he felt like this as well. This is so wonderful. How did it feel to be very present, carefree, and in the moment.
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It felt great! I try to spend moments just focusing on them and their features and trying to memorize what they look like when they laugh, cry, stare into space, how they position their bodies during these times, etc. They grow and change so fast and it's amazing how much you forget in terms of what they look like and what they do. It was nice to be able to do it with him without the others trying to grab my attention.

DS got was the first to get a Mommy/Son date, but that was just before DD was born a year and a half ago. I need to plan the next date with the littlest boy soon. Then I'll start the cycle again, but hopefully in a much more timely manner.
 
PeaceLover said:
I took my time cooking and plating to polish my femininity today. I bought these skewers a year ago for DH and almost forgot we had them! I think they added a nice touch.
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Oh you're cooking cooking lol. It looks delish love. Have plain jain skewers. I didn't know they make them with a handle like that.
 
I have a friend that is a single mother. Well she recently got a new job. She keeps complaining that they won't give her any work to do. She ends up sitting at her desk doing nothing.

Well one day of doing nothing she started doodling. She suddenly remembered she can draw sooooo well. Just with a ball point pen she can draw your portrait. She told me she has always drawn well but she never had the time. She's ALWAYS on the go with two little boys.

I told her this is why periods of rest and relaxation are important. They rejevenate you so much that you feel the WANT to engage in your hobbies such as drawing. I told her she should take advantage of this time and make a little time to draw a little each day even if it's only for 30 minutes. I noticed she took me up on my advice. I hope she finds her peace.
 

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Ladies,
Take a little time each day to key into your senses. Note how you FEEL when you take in these:
  • Buy beautiful, fragrant flowers and put them by your bed.
  • Go to Sephora and the like and try different perfumes.
  • Take your time and eat good food. Make a sandwich with fresh, warm, high quality bread and quality meats from your local deli.
  • Go outside and notice the beautiful greenery or try grounding to notice how you feel in nature.
  • Light fragrant candles in your living room to create an atmosphere.
 
PrissiSippi said:
I have a friend that is a single mother. Well she recently got a new job. She keeps complaining that they won't give her any work to do. She ends up sitting at her desk doing nothing.
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On a side note, she needs to find something to do, so that it doesn't come to bite her in the end. At first, I thought I had hit the jackpot at the job when this happened, found myself in a backlog soon after though. Maybe she can offer assistance in some area?
 
awhyley said:
On a side note, she needs to find something to do, so that it doesn't come to bite her in the end. At first, I thought I had hit the jackpot at the job when this happened, found myself in a backlog soon after though. Maybe she can offer assistance in some area?
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I don't think it's for long. She's just in the training phase and she knows how to do the job from her last job so her supervisor didn't make her do training. I bet she gets SWAMPED soon lol. She's a bilingual specialist for this area...and whoo chile they come few and far in between here so all of the Mexican population will have to go through her to translate for these jobs soon lol. That's a job I hope that more of "us" get into for this area.
 
You’re lack of planning is not my emergency. I’m going to start saying this to people.

Also, I’m not your assistant, mother, baby sitter, etc. I’m not here to make sure you are where you’re scheduled to be, on schedule. I may check in to make sure you’re alive and safe, but I move on after that. You missed the event? Shrugs*

You can tell time, just like I can.
 
Brwnbeauti said:
This week (and in the future) I will not read and reply to my work group messages. It's a steady stream of complaints. Every now and then sure, but all day, sometimes as early as 6am! But none of them are planning to quit.
So I'm like please, just stop. Limit your complaints or stop since you aren't leaving, accept it.
I'll journal soon.
Click to expand...

Yup, same here. It is always about how someone is stuck in traffic due to the snow, how we are short on staff, how someone is sick and will not be able to make it to work. This is all new to me anyway, so I only reply when it is an announcement of someone who is preggo or celebrating a birthday :).

In other news: our efforts are yielding great results:yep:. Been in The Netherlands since Wednesday, my sister is on leisure vacation and asked me to watch my godchild. I immediately accepted as I am off from work anyway.

Did not have enough money for a ticket, but my sister sent me some money via Paypal and I was able to make it by bus. At first I was afraid to enforce my own parenting style, which is somewhat more strict, because I do not yet have children of my own. But I followed the Holy Spirit and everything has been going great:

I wake up every morning at 5am, this ensures that I have enough me time before my niece wakes up at 6:30am. A trick I use is like a human snooze system: I tell her at 6:15 that she needs to be up by 6:30am, that way she can wake up with ease. Today she stayed in bed till 6:45 am but it was not that big of a deal, since school only starts at around 8:30am.

Made her a healthy breakfast with brown bread + avocado, she loved it. For lunch at school, I made some scrambled eggs, some fruit and included a note with affirmations such as: you are beautiful, bright and well behaved:yep:. The marker refused to cooperate but it is the thought that counts.

For myself, I make sure to dress the part. Yesterday my sister complimented me and today my lil niece did too. She is going to be 7 in March so her little personality is starting to form. She likes all these girly stuff: I made sure to light candles and play songs with women friendly lyrics as I was instructing her on how to take a shower. Now I understand why they say you need the heart of a servant to be a mother. Kudos to you mommas out there, seriously :0.
 
DS and I now have been doing the filling him up with love for five days. I want to do a little dance with him now. It's really making me be more present and take my time. Today I was on the phone while walking him to school. I looked down and promptly got off. I asked how was his day going to be at school and bent down to hug and kiss him. He blushed soooo hard like Maaamaaaa you do too much lol. His teacher told me this week he has been talking more. She goes over to him and has a whole conversation about whatever in the world he is talking about. Mostly it's about the wheels on the bus goes round and round haha. BUT she did tell me he's starting to talk a lot more so I feel that I am doing a lot better at being present which in turn makes HIM be more attentive and prone to learning.

Today I have schelduled myself a chemical peel. This is my way of having a little time to myself. I'm very excited about this. I always make excuses about not wanting to spend unnecessary money on myself but I'm going to start intentionally setting aside $100 for my nails, skin, and hair. Not much but it's a start.

My skin is glowing. I started back using my BR p1970 lotion and I am GLOWING. My skin is so bright and pretty. I look like I'm wearing makeup now. Next I will work on my edges (they came out when I had baby boy) and getting rid of a few scars on my body. I want to look FIONE by the Summer.

I made the cake. It was very moist. I ended up giving it to some friends and baby boy and I enjoyed a few pieces with ice cream. He doesn't like ice cream much lol. Cooooooold is what he keeps telling me.
 
Does anyone think being overly concerned with what a man is looking like, how he is dressing, how his nails look, etc. is masculine? Of course we want a man who is attractive in our eyes and looks like he tries to take care of himself..but does over concern in this area assign an expectation of beauty to a man when as women, that sits with us? Should this really be a priority when seeking masculine men who know how to be courters, protectors, providers?
 
sunnydaze said:
Does anyone think being overly concerned with what a man is looking like, how he is dressing, how his nails look, etc. is masculine? Of course we want a man who is attractive in our eyes and looks like he tries to take care of himself..but does over concern in this area assign an expectation of beauty to a man when as women, that sits with us? Should this really be a priority when seeking masculine men who know how to be courters, protectors, providers?
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I used to be this way. In my opinion it is very controlling which is masculine. And his appearance is not important. His ability to treat you nicely and let you stay in your feminine is MOST important.
 
Saludable84 said:
I never feel guilty. I already know I’m nice, and I don’t have to be accommodating to prove it. It’s hard to say what I want to say without coming off as stush lol but here is a simple example I can give you. Very basic.

If I’m interested and you ask to take me out, I’ll say yes. I’m nice. If you tell me you want to take me out on the day of, I will tell you no because I’m nice. If you suggest a couple of days later, I’ll say yes, because I’m nice. If a day doesn’t work, I will tell you, because I’m nice. If the situation isn’t working for me, I will tell you, because I’m nice. If I don’t wish to conform, I don’t becsuse I’m nice.

I guess the way I see it, being nice is about me and accommodating is about others. You don’t have to be both, you have to be what’s best for you. And it seems you are very ok with that.
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Wish I could like this a million times!
 
sunnydaze said:
Does anyone think being overly concerned with what a man is looking like, how he is dressing, how his nails look, etc. is masculine? Of course we want a man who is attractive in our eyes and looks like he tries to take care of himself..but does over concern in this area assign an expectation of beauty to a man when as women, that sits with us? Should this really be a priority when seeking masculine men who know how to be courters, protectors, providers?
Click to expand...

I will admit that this is my second year in this challenge and I struggle with some things that are assigned as "masculine" vs "feminine". To me, some of the challenges are about being refined and polished which is not solely a feminine trait.

I think start as you mean to go on. I think that finding someone who cares about their appearance is just as important as someone who helps you to care for yours. I don't think it's feminine for a man to look good or to want to look good (whatever looking "good" means to you) or for him to dress properly.
 
Sosoothing said:
@snoop
That was such a sweet thing you did with your son. How old is he?
Mine is 3, and I think I will start doing this too. Thanks for the idea.
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My boys are 8, 6, and 4. I took the 8 year old out this time and the 6 year old (then 5) out last time. They had a blast! Because of limited time, I allow them to choose what activity they would prefer, eg play centre, indoor craft place, dessert cafe, but the idea of a meal AND dessert in one go gets them every time. You can totally make it a full day event.
 
sunnydaze said:
Does anyone think being overly concerned with what a man is looking like, how he is dressing, how his nails look, etc. is masculine? Of course we want a man who is attractive in our eyes and looks like he tries to take care of himself..but does over concern in this area assign an expectation of beauty to a man when as women, that sits with us? Should this really be a priority when seeking masculine men who know how to be courters, protectors, providers?
Click to expand...
Yes. There is a difference between buying something that looks nice on your man and dressing him. Dressing him is not leaning back. It’s doing too much.
 
No matter how challenging the situation is, try to stay in your feminine energy by grounding yourself.

1. How can I CHOOSE myself here? (Not my husband, SO, or my children , but myself)

2. How can I respect and honour my feelings and deepest desires in this situation here? (No overworking or overinvesting yourself)

3. How can I speak my truth femininely without criticizing whoever I’m talking to? (Choose your words, always).
 
Brwnbeauti said:
Y’all
This man bought me a new car.
ima be back with the story
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