2019 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

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I just love it how we're all doing our own thing. This year feels like a continum from last year. I feel like I'm on maintenance now. I'm reading a book, doing little rituals (massages and morning routines), doing some self-care things (journaling, affirmations), wearing more dresses, cooking and plating whenever I feel like it which means I'm eating healthier foods, spending more quality time with my son, smiling more with my friends, going out more with my friends. I just need to touch on my etiquette and confidence more now.

And I see you all doing it too! This is so wonderful.
 
Is anyone using an electronic journal? Do you like it? I feel like I need to get an actual paper book. Electronic journaling makes me feel like something is missing
 
Brwnbeauti said:
Y’all
This man bought me a new car.
ima be back with the story
Click to expand...
Aight.
So he’s on his way from the city. I’m in the kitchen cooking. He messages that he really wants to eat out. So I’m like okay- stop my prep, put the food in the fridge. He comes in and I’m putting clothes on. It’s late and I’m in my pjs. I get dressed, we go outside and I see a beautiful white suv and I’m like “oh that’s nice! Why’d you get a loaner? I’m sure you won’t want to drive that to work tomorrow- well don’t worry, I whip it for you” He’s like, “oh you can drive now, but I’ll have to give you the keys first because it’s your car.”
Y’all. I’m shook.
We set financial goals for the year and one of my personals is to pay off all student loan debt this year. I sold a really nice car I had in my efforts to do so and I’d been driving a car we own. He wanted me to have something NICE NICE but understood that I wanted to stick to my plan for personal financial freedom.
 
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My next mini task will be to stop giving my friends advice that they didn't ask for. I think this goes into just "being" instead of "doing" but I really struggle with this. Sometimes I want to help, but I know if they want my help....they'll ask.

I'm trying to incorporate a facial routine, arm workout, and journaling routine to get me in the groove of keeping the focus on me. But lately I've been feeling like the focus STAYS on me. Is this a bad thing? I wake up I do little routines/rituals for me, I take some time to make sure my son has a great morning and goes off to school and then I STAY focused on me because I'm either reading a book, updating my blog, cooking something, looking up skin care regimen stuff/doing it, writing a poem, writing a book, EVERYTHING is about me. I don't want to grow self-centered and I don't necessarily think I will, but I DO have a LOT of time focused on me. Thoughts anyone?
 
I need a script for letting a guy know that I don't want to use What's app with him. I gave him my google voice number which is the number all online men get until they have proven themselves worthy of my cell phone number. Any ideas for letting him know I don't want to "chat?" How does this sound:

Hey handsome, I don't really use what's app. It would feel great to hear your voice too instead of just chat ;) What do you think?
 
PrissiSippi said:
My next mini task will be to stop giving my friends advice that they didn't ask for. I think this goes into just "being" instead of "doing" but I really struggle with this. Sometimes I want to help, but I know if they want my help....they'll ask.

I'm trying to incorporate a facial routine, arm workout, and journaling routine to get me in the groove of keeping the focus on me. But lately I've been feeling like the focus STAYS on me. Is this a bad thing? I wake up I do little routines/rituals for me, I take some time to make sure my son has a great morning and goes off to school and then I STAY focused on me because I'm either reading a book, updating my blog, cooking something, looking up skin care regimen stuff/doing it, writing a poem, writing a book, EVERYTHING is about me. I don't want to grow self-centered and I don't necessarily think I will, but I DO have a LOT of time focused on me. Thoughts anyone?
Click to expand...

I thought about this just the other day. I was about to text something to a friend and then I said to myself, "She didn't ask for your advice." So I quickly deleted it. I struggle with that though because I want to see my friends happy and prospering, but I have to learn to fall back. My advice may not be right for them at this time, based on their circumstances, or it just may be bad advice for their lives period. If they ask, that's different.
 
Belle Du Jour said:
I’m having so much fun sending these totally girly messages (some are feeling messages) to these guys :giggle: I don’t care what they think lol!
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I’ve been using them on EVERYBODY it’s kind of weird how they work. I even used a few with my ex husband. Nothing major but every time he asked how was I doing I sent back a feeling message. All of a sudden he’s been extra nice.
Belle Du Jour said:
I need a script for letting a guy know that I don't want to use What's app with him. I gave him my google voice number which is the number all online men get until they have proven themselves worthy of my cell phone number. Any ideas for letting him know I don't want to "chat?" How does this sound:

Hey handsome, I don't really use what's app. It would feel great to hear your voice too instead of just chat ;) What do you think?
Click to expand...
I’m not a big texting person. I would love to hear your voice instead. What do you think?
 



Recap
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential


Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential

"You can't always be the prettiest when you step into a room, but you can ALWAYS be the sweetest. With the best smile, the warmest gaze, the most gratitude, and the most pleasant attitude, a woman's poise is her gentle strength"

Two weeks we touched on poise. Poise is how you present yourself in trying situations. Last week we touched on Block History Month. Blocking people out of your life that don't mean you well is apart of your drama blocking plan to keep balance and peace in your life.

Self-preservation, self-awareness, and STAYING CALM is key. This month we focus on love. Often time that means loving other people and not ourselves. However, loving ourselves is so very important for us to fully love others. Fill up your cup FIRST. Take care of yourself if you don't do anything else.

One way to take care of yourself is to PROTECT YOUR PEACE.

For women to preserve their greatest asset, their femininity, self preservation is key. Hardened women are not desirable. Argumentative women are unattractive. Loud, boisterous, yelling women are off-putting.

Strive to have poise but also seek wisdom during trying times....not masculination. The best way to do this mentally is to organize a drama blocking plan and make it deliberate.

You remember that planner we found in week 1? It's now time to use it. Pencil in time for YOU. Make it a deliberate practice to focus on you! Be selfish. Make boundaries. Distance yourself from people who do not love you. Stick to these boundaries.


any of us have allowed our past to make us hardened. Maybe someone said something to you that made you feel undeserving of being feminine. Maybe a dysfunctional upbringing made you feel like you are not entitled to your femininity. Now is the time to be selfish. Why? Because only then can you spread the boundless gifts of your femininity to others and freely.

Think of your femininity as a garden. You could leave it unprotected. Let animals come in and trample all in it. You could expose it to the elements. You could forget to water it because you are checking on your neighbor's garden. This is not wise. Self-preservation will allow you to increase your level of consciousness.

With time it will increase your compassion, love, and feminine energy which will be evident to everyone you come in contact with. Analyze your life. Any people you need to let go of that disrupt your peace and/or femininity? Boundaries that you haven't made? You are the captain of your ship. Focus on you. Polish your femininity to preserve your self and make a plan to make sure it happens.


Protecting your peace often is ESSENTIAL when arguing (especially with the opposite sex). Have you ever started having a disagreement calmly then all of a sudden you start getting louder and louder and to the tune of this : Oh No You Didn't Boo Boo *insert claps between each word for a little more culture* :wacky: As it relates to protecting your peace...you need self-awareness. What triggers you in an argument and throws you off course? How can you avoid this or be self-aware to never let ANYONE take you there?

Tips for Protecting Your Peace and creating a Drama Blocking Plan
  • Note your triggers- What causes you to BLOW UP in arguments? Feeling like you're not heard? When others get loud with you? Not feeling appreciated? What makes you TICK!?
  • Watch your body-language - Non verbal body language says a lot. Rest chick face is NOT CUTE. Fix your face. Lol.
  • Have boundaries in arguments- If the argument is going nowhere....drop it and revisit at a later (calmer) time.
  • Admit your mistakes and learn to humbly apologize
  • When you feel yourself getting angry or argumentative, love on yourself more. Exercise, meditate, cook, plate food, garden, listen to music, do whatever your heart desires. Indulge in what makes you YOU...your hobbies.
  • Perception is Key - Recognize that anger IS natural. It is OKAY to feel anger. But don't let it consume you.
  • Have some ending phrases: I'm sorry you feel that way. What is your point?

Week 6 Challenge
1. In your planner, plan out how next month (February) will go. How will you make time for your hobbies and goals? What days will you do hobbies and goals? Distance yourself from toxic personalities? Establish healthy boundaries? Walk away from arguments.
2. What are some ways to polish your femininity EVERYDAY? What will you do? What are your feminine hobbies, dreams, and aspirations.
3. What is your drama blocking plan? Write it out.
4. How could you only be mad for 5 minutes and not let arguments RULE your entire day.
5. How can you practice and improve your emotional self-awareness?
 
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So let's talk on filling up your cup. I spent time with a friend and simply asked her WHAT IS SHE DOING FOR HERSELF? She told me reading. She read a book the entire day and then she planned out all these activities she was going to direct for her family. She said she enjoys doing that.

But from the femininity aspect of this, this is all DOING. A lot of times we get it in our head that we have to DO to be loved rather than just to BE to be loved.

That made me realize that even though filling up your cup is important it needs to be a VARIETY of ways you do this. And the things need to benefit YOU and YOU only at least some of the time. You need something you can do to fill up your cup:
physically (walk, run, yoga, kickboxing, pilates, and etc.)
mentally (journaling, scripting, tapping, listening to positive podcast, and etc.)
spiritually (going to church, listening,
and maybe something to make you money.

All of these things might not happen each day, but it should def be a variety each and every day.

For example:
Physically- Walk a mile a day
Mentally- Journaling, listening to affirmations, guided meditation
Spiritually- listen to some spiritual music, read scriptures related to your beliefs

It shouldn't just be just mentally filling up your cup through reading. Or fake filling your cup by DOING things for other people without doing something for yourself FIRST. Femininity is all about BEING.
 
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Last Week

Receiving:
I went on a date. I allowed him to open my door, carry my bags, pay for my meals, lead the conversation, and give me compliments.

Rejuvenation: I kept working on my painting, I wrote more in my journal, I added to my gratitude journal, and I spent some time with my line sister cooking and talking. I took myself out to a new foodie spot and tried gelato. I wore dresses each and every day. I did my makeup slowly and blended like I never blended before. I went to church and got some spiritual food. I made myself steak and shrimp at the house and enjoyed it.

Resting: I went to bed early every day this week.
 
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DH wanted to talk about an issue the other night and my initial reaction was to roll my eyes, but I didn't. I listened, then responded, and then I was done. We didn't go back and forth. And he actually said, "Thanks for listening and responding in a kind way." It made me think that he obviously was bracing himself for my attitude. But I'm learning.
 
MamaBear2012 said:
DH wanted to talk about an issue the other night and my initial reaction was to roll my eyes, but I didn't. I listened, then responded, and then I was done. We didn't go back and forth. And he actually said, "Thanks for listening and responding in a kind way." It made me think that he obviously was bracing himself for my attitude. But I'm learning.
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I'm doing this too. I'm trying to say EVERYTHING in a very feminine way. DH got DS for the entire weekend and brought him back without his hair cut. I HATE going to the barbershop. When we were together I would have said, ""WTH kinda man can't even get his own son's hair cut? This is ridiculous. Don't bring him back until it's done." Controlling and critical I know I know, but I felt that's the only way I could get things done.

This time I said, "Love I really appreciate the time you and DS spend together. I know it feels great for him to get to spend time with you and have father son time. I would prefer to take him to the barbershop. It makes me feel so uncomfortable when I go. Could you help me in anyway?"

He thought about it and told me he would drive and hour back up here this week to take him. Perfect. I'm still leaned back, I don't have to get his hair cut, AND I'm still in my feminine.
 
I was taken out of Friday as a belated birthday dinner. During the walk there, its cold, we know this. I was told I was walking too slow and my response was that my legs aren’t as long to walk faster and continued at my pace. I did not pick up my pace or continue on. My pace was eventually matched.

One time, something was said that I didn’t like. Instead of arguing, I just looked away. I can’t work on my facial expressions, but I looked away for about 20s until I got my composure back. After that, I looked back, smiled and let him restart the conversation. The rest of the evening went well.

Saturday, I was so clumsy. I told my AP that my energy was off, but I’m not so clumsy. I was fumbling and disorganized and just all over the place. I didn’t understand why and then I realized it was because I was doing too much and needed rest. I felt better on Sunday.

I haven’t had to block people, but I have been speaking nicer about anything that has concerned or bothered me and not arguing if I don’t like a topic or comment.

I need to figure out my goals for the upcoming weeks.
 
This week
Physical: I'm going to the gym regularly. It's xfit, which I know isn't the most feminine workout, but I love the results.
Mentally: journaling and I'm pulling out one of my puzzles this weekend.

I've received several emails from parents when school dismissed for inclement weather Monday afternoon. I haven't read them but scrolling by them makes me anxious. I already know it's about myself or my team needing to do more for some lazy child. I'm thinking of disabling my work email on my phone.
I'm disabling it now.
 
PrissiSippi said:
That made me realize that even though filling up your cup is important it needs to be a VARIETY of ways you do this. And the things need to benefit YOU and YOU only at least some of the time. You need something you can do to fill up your cup:
physically (walk, run, yoga, kickboxing, pilates, and etc.)
mentally (journaling, scripting, tapping, listening to positive podcast, and etc.)
spiritually (going to church, listening,
and maybe something to make you money.

All of these things might not happen each day, but it should def be a variety each and every day.
Click to expand...

I realize that I like being in nature and I need to figure out a way to get out for a walk for even 15 minutes a day. Not a walk for exercise or to get my heart rate up but just to be. I saw something on facebook forest bathing and did a google search and found this article: http://time.com/5259602/japanese-forest-bathing/

"The key to unlocking the power of the forest is in the five senses. Let nature enter through your ears, eyes, nose, mouth, hands and feet. Listen to the birds singing and the breeze rustling in the leaves of the trees. Look at the different greens of the trees and the sunlight filtering through the branches. Smell the fragrance of the forest and breathe in the natural aromatherapy of phytoncides. Taste the freshness of the air as you take deep breaths. Place your hands on the trunk of a tree. Dip your fingers or toes in a stream. Lie on the ground. Drink in the flavor of the forest and release your sense of joy and calm. This is your sixth sense, a state of mind. Now you have connected with nature. You have crossed the bridge to happiness."

This all sounds very feminine to me :yep:
 
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We had a snow day down here with NO snow lol but schools were closed so baby boy couldn't go. We ended up having a FUN winter day. We made chocolate frosty for him and latte for me. I made chicken and waffles with raspberries on top and we played blocks all day. He ended up going to sleep at 12:30 until about 4 and I let him because I TOO fell asleep myself lol. I woke up soooo refreshed and feeling great.

Last night we made some stuffed burgers. I let baby boy help me make HIS burger lol. He's a pretty good helper for a two year old.

How I polished my femininity so far this week.:
Mentally: I have my alarm reminding of affirmations around the clock at 8 am, 12 pm, and 4 pm. At those times I say the affirmations out loud. Took a long bath with bath bombs. Relaxing Cup of Coffee. Listened to Typical Girl by Tayla, wore cute clothes to make me FEEL feminine.
Physically: I got a massage. I took a bath with my Salux and Kojic Acid Soap and moisturized my body with AmLactin. I'm working on smoothing my skin.
Spiritually: Journaling and Meditating.

So I've been working on "filling up my child with love." Every day this thing gets a little easier. First I kiss and tickle him in the morning when I wake him up. Then I get him dressed, give him a banana or something to tide him over until he eats breakfast at school and we head to school. I've been trying to come up with our thing. I think we're going to do animal sounds. When I leave him I say give me a HIGH FIVE. Down low. Too slow! lol And then something like what sound does a dog make. Woof Woof. Cat make? Meow Meow. Mommy make? Bye bye! And then we kiss and hug before I drop him off. So far so good he smiles and LAUUUUGHS at this. This hopefully starts his day with excellence and a way for me to be VERY present.

OAN: I think I'm going to redo a painting in my bedroom. It's an ugly painting from Kirklands. I'm going to make it something more creative and personal this week.
 
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Week Five Affirmations
Topic: Self Preservation is Essential

  1. :love4:I am the director of my life! I create wonderful roles for myself.
  2. :love2:I am the prize and I treat myself as such.
  3. :love4:I don't EVER feel guilty for doing what's the best thing for ME.
  4. :love2:I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions, or unnecessary conversations.
  5. :love4:I enjoy the little things in life each and every day.
 
Mentally- I have been doing a lot of coloring. Not sex, but literally coloring Lol. I have always enjoyed coloring but hadn't done much of it since I was younger. I have a couple of coloring books. Beautiful colors are relaxing to me.
Physically- I have been going to bed earlier.
Also when the kids are away I make sure I take the time to rest. Just sitting and enjoying a hot cup of milk tea is one of my favorite things to do after I drop them off at school.
Spiritually- I set my alarm to go off at a certain time every morning, so I can pray and read a scripture.
 
@PrissiSippi :

physically (walk, run, yoga, kickboxing, pilates, and etc.)
mentally (journaling, scripting, tapping, listening to positive podcast, and etc.)
spiritually (going to church, listening,
and maybe something to make you money.

So for me:

* Physically: watched a short TED talk of a man explaining how some men and women around the world, live past the age of 100. Apparently they just incorporate activity into their everyday life. So that's what I'm doing. Last week was very active, went to The Netherlands to go take care of my niece/godchild. This week is much more mellow. Been just vegetating really, having a staycation/mini retirement of sorts. Cooked beforehand, so now I'm just walking from my bed to my makeshift oven to go heat up my spaghetti :lol: :

IMG_1076.PNG

I am definitely focusing on BEING and NOT doing.


* Mentally: feeling alright but having a hard time letting go of the past and what could have been. Having a hard time forgiving myself and moving on. Went to see my psychiatrist not too long ago and now she's labeling me as an optimist, I thought it was hilarious! Been seeing her for over a decade. So far we've been able to lower my medication and things are OK on that front. Will definitely have to look into other coping mechanisms for when life gets tough and crazy.

* Spiritually: want to switch up my routine a little bit. Right now it feels too much like routine (wake up, play music, pray) and I want it to be more spirit led. So will look into how God will lead me in this regard.

January is over and it was really good. Bought myself a Valentine card not too long ago and can't wait to see what I'm gonna write to myself haha. It says: I'm crazy about you ;)

Foto op 31-01-19 om 11.07 2.jpg

Oh, yesterday was a snow day for us, so is today. It felt good to be on my staycation, watch everyone from my window being all hurried up and me just painting my nails.

As for that part about ways to make money: getting so much inspiration from God in that regard. Right now I'm sitting in bed, was supposed to go out to go pick up something, but nope, not happening today. I'm just gonna lay here and...be. Got my journals all lined up in front of me and started reading Michelle Obama's book two days ago, really enjoying it so far :yep:.
 
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It's hard for me to get my physical in because it's sooo cold. I think I'm going to go to the mall today and walk around with baby boy or SOMETHING. I need to get a good mile in. Yesterday I washed and folded 4 loads of clothes, decluttered a room, and cleaned up whichw as good for my spirit. I added to my journal and did affirmations which was good for my mental, and took a long piping hot bath with my Salux, bath bombs, and koji soap.
 
Mentally: not trying to let negative thoughts consume me and working on keeping focus on things that result in less stress. Finally found a journal, so I’m focused more on the positive, and its a state of mind that’s an ultimate goal going forward.

Spiritually: mostly praying daily. Sometimes, I forget. I used to be hard on myself when i forgot, but I’m not anymore. I just remind myself that when I get a minute, take a moment and be thankful.

Physically: mostly resting. At first, I felt lazy, but it’s been so long since I’ve had time to myself that the alone time has really been rejuvenating. I know I should get up, but this is the first time I’m a long time I’ve gotten rest and alone time and I’d like to enjoy it before my weekends become consumed by plans and peopleing.
 
A guy who I met online and have never seen in person said he would call on Tuesday. Instead he texted on Tuesday. I responded but decided to see if he would follow through with a call. No call. Then yesterday he sent a "good morning" text which was ignored. Then today he sent more than basic texts so several hours later I responded to them. He asks "what you doing this weekend? Maybe we could meet?" I basically said I have plans this weekend but we can discuss other options by phone. I'm not into too much texting. He responds "Since I don't when to call. Seems like you always busy." Boy bye. He didn't even try to call :nono: It's not good if he's already pouting and whining that I'm always "busy" :rolleyes:
 
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