Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty N Poised
"You can't always be the prettiest when you step into a room, but you can ALWAYS be the sweetest. With the best smile, the warmest gaze, the most gratitude, and the most pleasant attitude, a woman's poise is her gentle strength.
Let's think about some typical day to day situations:
1. Someone cuts you off in traffic? What could you do?
2. Someone steals the credit at work for something you did? Your actions?
3. Your husband says something unkind and insensitive to you?
4. He leaves his shoes everywhere even after you've asked him numerous times to stop.
5. A beautiful woman walks in the room....are you unnerved? Unbothered?
6. You’re supposed to meet your girlfriend for lunch but she doesn’t show up and doesn’t call you to let you know.
A woman of poise makes a profound impact and commands respect at the highest level....but she does it with grace. Are there areas in which your poise needs to be strengthened? How could you get here? Some tips I would recommend include:
1. Drop the need to be right- Okay we get it. You are right. Then what?
Our ego is tricky it will convince us that somehow we are going to win the other person to our way of thinking by over explaining and going back and forth. (Arguing is masculine) Take a break from the exchange and then let your mind and body exhale, lower the shoulders, unclench the teeth, etc. Skip the part about the person supposed to honor you (he's supposed to do something for my birthday. She knew better than to cut me off in traffic) and go straight to YOU have to protect YOURself (with your feminine boundaries), because that's the reality and how you need to conduct yourself. Set your boundary and let it be.
Have a plan in place to only be mad about 5 minutes on things that deeply trouble you. How? Here are some steps:
1. Drop the need to be right. Go to another physical space.
2. Figure out why I'm angry. Identify the emotion.
3. Decide of it's valid. Am I overreacting? Did I hear all the needed information?
4. If I determine I was right, focus on the feeling.
When do YOU decide to talk focus on how you felt (Think back to feelings messages that was posted in this thread)…that's the emotion you mention when talking to the person at hand again. I felt really neglected when you forgot my birthday yesterday. Pause and let them respond.
5. Until they responds continue being polite but determine what do you need to do? Remove yourself away from this person? Put boundaries up? How will you enforce your boundary?
2. Have compassion- Where growth is needed....compassion is required.
3. Stop rushing- It seems contradictory to our modern world, where everything is a rush, where we try to cram as much into every minute of the day as possible, where if we are not busy, we feel unproductive and lazy. We’ve been conditioned to believe that busier is better, but actually the speed of doing is not as important as what we focus on doing. Try to map out your day so you're not multi-tasking ALL THE TIME. Take time to just be. Think before you talk. Words are something we can dish out but NEVER take back. Other ways we rush? Do not eat in a hurry, no matter how hungry you are. Do not zip up your purse in an anxious and fast way. Be as quiet as possible and unhurried. This also means no slamming of car doors, house doors, fridge door, no matter how you feel. It is all about being in a relaxed control.
4. Have an organizational plan. Without a plan, we plan to fail. Many of the problems that we have within the house is because of a lack of organization. Be honest, is your home lacking organization? Take a few minutes this week to truthfully answer these questions and come up with questions of your own that meet the needs of your home.
Do you have a plan in place to keep the house running like a well oiled machine? (Towels stocked? Fridge stocked? Everyone knows where to place their things? House cleaned? Laundry folded and put away? What could you do to fix this?)
How do you prepare the hotel room during family travel?
What is your drama blocking plan?
How can you create routine, what routines do you need in your life, and what is the purpose of routine?
What is your hospitality plan for when guests come over? Do you run like a chicken with his head cut off or are you truly prepared?
Week 3 Challenge
1. Name some ways you could work on keeping your poise in trying situations.
2. NO person or incident can take you out of your feminine grace. However, this must be a very deliberate practice. What are some things you need to change about yourself to STAY in your feminine grace?
3. What are some possible solutions/scripts for the examples listed above in purple.