2019 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

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Week 25 Challenge

1. What are your limiting beliefs
I fear success as much as I fear failure. Or maybe more.
2. How can we flip those?
I don’t know yet.
 
Limiting Belief
Love doesn't last long. FLIP IT -----> The journey of me loving myself is a journey starting at forever and ending at never....I expect my romantic relationships to be a reflection of this as well.


OAN: @PeaceLover showed me how to ask for money for little bitty stuff like lunch dates, gas money, and girly stuff like perfume/lingerie/clothes. I'm so SHOOKETH. I got nice things from my ex-husband, but never this often and exactly what I want. Some days I'm like.....was it really this easy as a mindset shift? This is fun!
 
Limiting Belief
Love doesn't last long. FLIP IT -----> The journey of me loving myself is a journey starting at forever and ending at never....I expect my romantic relationships to be a reflection of this as well.

Powerful!

OAN: @PeaceLover showed me how to ask for money for little bitty stuff like lunch dates, gas money, and girly stuff like perfume/lingerie/clothes. I'm so SHOOKETH. I got nice things from my ex-husband, but never this often and exactly what I want. Some days I'm like.....was it really this easy as a mindset shift? This is fun!

Share the wealth :sekret:
 
Limiting Belief
Love doesn't last long. FLIP IT -----> The journey of me loving myself is a journey starting at forever and ending at never....I expect my romantic relationships to be a reflection of this as well.


OAN: @PeaceLover showed me how to ask for money for little bitty stuff like lunch dates, gas money, and girly stuff like perfume/lingerie/clothes. I'm so SHOOKETH. I got nice things from my ex-husband, but never this often and exactly what I want. Some days I'm like.....was it really this easy as a mindset shift? This is fun!
Do I need to PM you?
 
Ways to make him chase you and keep the challenge strong

1️⃣ Stay Busy- Don’t always answer every text or call right away.
2️⃣ Stay unbothered- When he does things to piss you off try to not get bothered. End it with a boundary. Oh honey you know I care about you too much to be arguing like this. I’m going to leave the room. We can continue this later.
3️⃣ Have a lot of confidence. Like makeup? Wear it. Like doing got hobby? Do it and shine while doing it.
4️⃣ Tell Him NO at times- Just because he wants it doesn’t mean he gets it. Keep the focus on you. If you’re tired don’t do it. If you feel wrong about it, say it in a feminine way. just because he wants to text all day and he’s “busy” doesn’t mean that you fall into the texting trap. Forget him. Know your boundaries, hold them TIGHT, and express them in a feminine way.
5️⃣ Make sure he knows that you’re beautiful and let him see other men looking at you.
6️⃣ Have some mystery about you- Keep him wondering what you’re up to and what you’re doing.
7️⃣ Make him heavily invest to get the pussy- He needs to give you his time, money, favors and more.
8️⃣ Be playful. Seduce him.
9️⃣ Look your best everyday. Men are visual.
Have a full and fulfilling life to the point that he can’t always he can’t always get with you when he wants.
1️⃣1️⃣ Give him false hope.
 
Becoming a high value feminine woman as it relates to chores/child-rearing.


My ex husband told my son he could help take out the garbage but only if he put his shoes on.

I had to bite my tongue. I was about to say, he’ll not be outside for one minute. He can go barefoot. That was old me.

Learning to not criticize transcends to marriage, chores, and child rearing too. If the child is not going to die....let it be. If the house is not going to burn down to the ground...let it be. If it just HAS to be done a specific way, you do it and do it privately. Don’t do it anyway to try to show off and tell him in a slick way he does it wrong.

Show appreciation when they DO do something in a feminine way and watch as they feel inspired to do even more. Drop the need to control him. Embrace your femininity by keeping the focus on YOU. Go focus on something that brings YOU joy.

1. I used to have to go outside and tell my ex husband exactly how to cut the grass and edge it. (That’s not my domain. Let it be. If the thinks it looks best to do xyz, let him do it.)
2. He wouldn’t fix the baby bottles like I liked.
3. He didn’t iron his clothes well. (Let him be "wrankled")
4. When we are riding in the car I would question why he went this way instead of this way. (Shut Up; we still finna get there. Enjoy the present).
5. I didn’t like how he loaded the dishwasher (No if I don’t like it I would just do it myself).
6. He would run out of gas and I would be like why do you wait til the last minute to get gas. You should get it at night so you’re not late for work. (Let him late. This doesn’t affect you hun. Let him deal with the consequences of being late
7. He chews with his mouth open and doesn’t know fine dinner etiquette like me. (Don’t correct him in public or try to teach him dinner etiquette. Just either don’t invite him anymore or you model your good manners and hope he follows you.
8. Leaves his dirty dishes not even in the sink but right next to the sink. (Either mirror him or just take care or it. Drop the need to be right and just wash it. This is why men need to be providing. This stuff won’t bother you as much if he’s paying most of the bills. It will take you 30 seconds to wash the dish but your bank account still swole
9. Let’s say he leaves hair all over the bathroom sink. (Do the sandwich method. Boo I love it how sexy you look with your beard. You just make me want to pull it all night. But boo it makes me feel icky when I see all that hair on the bathroom counter. Could you please make sure the hair makes it to the trash? What do you think?)
10. He doesn’t drink or he drinks too much. You knew he was like this before you got in a relationship. Don’t try to change him. Set boundaries if needed to protect yourself. Do this in a feminine way. (I don’t feel safe when you get so drink that you act as if you don’t love me. I would prefer you not come home if you’re too drunk or whatever you see fit to ask him to do). If he’s an abusive drunk, protect yourself and leave.

How are some ways you have tried to control/criticize your significant other in the past as it relates to chores/child-rearing?
 
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Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month
February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time
March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April-
Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 20: Home Aromas
Week 21: How Clean is Your Home
Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home




June- Inner Work
Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive
Week 24: Boundaries
Week 25: Limiting Beliefs
Week 26: Trust and Surrender


Do less to get more. It becomes easy to think that if You controlled everything around you in your life, and created as much structure as possible, everything would go accordingly to plans and there wouldn’t be any surprises. You would be all knowing and and this would make you happy.

However it’s important to understand no amount of planning will change the uncertainty of the universe. Thevuniverse has a plan for you. All things are working for your good. As a femininevwoman it is your job to flow and bend like a tree swaying in the wind. Your job isn’t to define or understand it. Instead, trust it.

The Universe’s plans for you life are always greater than your own plans. All things are working for your good. Everything is intentional. Never failing. Trusting and Surrendering means to FEEL a sense of calm, peace, and surrender in your body that no matter what's going on around you or in your relationship right now - YOU WILL BE OKAY! If you get the job or if you don't, if he leaves or if he goes...at the end of the day...you will be okay! Trust the Universe's timeline, even if it's not coming towards you at the moment. There is a reason for this, but it’s not your job to figure this out. Just trust and stay in the moment.

It is important to trust that everything that is happening right now is for your highest good even though you may not be able to see it yet.

You have to know with a solid belief that everything is ALWAYS working out for you. You’re not rocking the boat to control the situation. You're not flirting to make something happen. You’re flirting because it’s fun and it’s the way you are. It’s the way you live and interact. As a feminine woman, the right man/your boyfriend/your husband will be magnetized to you effortlessly.

If you are used to being in your masculine energy, you are used to "thinking" your way through life and love. This causes you to dissect and over analyze every decision you make. It causes you to be pressed and analyze every text message from a man you like. Focus on how you feel. Make boundaries accordingly. Don’t try to control your man, the situation, or the future. It is in feminine surrender that the magic of love and life happens. So in times that you are over-analyzing, Let Go. Let it be. Slow down and be present. Meditate. Listen to your inner voice. Trust and Surrender.

Week 26 Challenge

1. Where could you be more trusting of the Universe?
2. How could you focus more on being present instead of analyzing each and everything in your life?
3. Take our Challenge Survey to improve next year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/QL9ZPNS

Week 26 Trust and Surrender Affirmations
  1. I am not alone in this universe.
  2. I am not alone in this world.
  3. I am a part of nature.
  4. I understand that just as life takes good care of ALL nature. it will also take care of me and all of my needs and desires when I let you.
 
@PeaceLover
Paging you ma’am.
Dh buys gifts all the time, but never exactly what I want or asked for.
Example- last year he threw a dinner party for my birthday, nice right. Well maybe 3 of the guest were my friends, the rest were his. This year I told him no, I don’t want a party- just dinner with him is fine, and maybe top golf- to play together. Instead we went to lunch the following weekend and dinner the next- with another couple. He gets things that he wants me to have which are similar to what I want, but not what I asked for.
Last Christmas I asked for a watch, and created a Pinterest page with options. He got an Apple watch. That wasn’t one of the options I gave.
 
1. Where could you be more trusting of the Universe? My love life in general

2. How could you focus more on being present instead of analyzing each and everything in your life? Coincidently, this prayer month, the theme in our church is 'surrender and rest'. So I'm trying to do just that. My co-workers are very laidback, whereas I'm so focused on work all the time. Barely have time to speak to them throughout the day.

Had started planning my birthday celebration last year, fast forward now and nothing is going as planned really. But I'm letting it go: out of the blue, my mom offered to host me a dinner party at her place. She'll cook my fav Angolan fish. She also gave an extra €20.00 to cover the end of the month :yep:, without my prompting.

As for my looks, also going with the flow like women in my country used to do: always look clean and presentable, but not to the point that you're so dolled up, you can't have fun anymore.
 
@PeaceLover
Paging you ma’am.
Dh buys gifts all the time, but never exactly what I want or asked for.
Example- last year he threw a dinner party for my birthday, nice right. Well maybe 3 of the guest were my friends, the rest were his. This year I told him no, I don’t want a party- just dinner with him is fine, and maybe top golf- to play together. Instead we went to lunch the following weekend and dinner the next- with another couple. He gets things that he wants me to have which are similar to what I want, but not what I asked for.
Last Christmas I asked for a watch, and created a Pinterest page with options. He got an Apple watch. That wasn’t one of the options I gave.

@PeaceLover coding her dissertation. This is what she said on the phone.

Accept the gift that he gives and ask him for money later that week (for groceries or for the baby) to privately buy what you want.

OR

You set the stage to get what you want. “Oh honey I’m looking forward to spending my birthday with you. I’m looking forward to you getting me an Apple Watch and a Brahmin purse (or whatever you want). You make me feel so happy. I’m so lucky to have you. You’re the best.

If he doesn’t get you what you want, the morning of your birthday say “So what time are we doing blah blah blah?” Don’t let him get out of it. Then he’ll realize he is double working by not doing what you want. You’re appreciative of what he gave you but you still expect what you want.
 
@PeaceLover
Paging you ma’am.
Dh buys gifts all the time, but never exactly what I want or asked for.
Example- last year he threw a dinner party for my birthday, nice right. Well maybe 3 of the guest were my friends, the rest were his. This year I told him no, I don’t want a party- just dinner with him is fine, and maybe top golf- to play together. Instead we went to lunch the following weekend and dinner the next- with another couple. He gets things that he wants me to have which are similar to what I want, but not what I asked for.
Last Christmas I asked for a watch, and created a Pinterest page with options. He got an Apple watch. That wasn’t one of the options I gave.

It sounds like he is blatantly disregarding your wants/desires. But he might not even be aware of it. Have you tried communicating with him how this makes you feel (maybe using the sandwich tool)?
 
Ways to make him chase you and keep the challenge strong

1️⃣ Stay Busy- Don’t always answer every text or call right away.
2️⃣ Stay unbothered- When he does things to piss you off try to not get bothered. End it with a boundary. Oh honey you know I care about you too much to be arguing like this. I’m going to leave the room. We can continue this later.
3️⃣ Have a lot of confidence. Like makeup? Wear it. Like doing got hobby? Do it and shine while doing it.
4️⃣ Tell Him NO at times- Just because he wants it doesn’t mean he gets it. Keep the focus on you. If you’re tired don’t do it. If you feel wrong about it, say it in a feminine way. just because he wants to text all day and he’s “busy” doesn’t mean that you fall into the texting trap. Forget him. Know your boundaries, hold them TIGHT, and express them in a feminine way.
5️⃣ Make sure he knows that you’re beautiful and let him see other men looking at you.
6️⃣ Have some mystery about you- Keep him wondering what you’re up to and what you’re doing.
7️⃣ Make him heavily invest to get the pussy- He needs to give you his time, money, favors and more.
8️⃣ Be playful. Seduce him.
9️⃣ Look your best everyday. Men are visual.
Have a full and fulfilling life to the point that he can’t always he can’t always get with you when he wants.
1️⃣1️⃣ Give him false hope.

#10 had me bust out laughing :lol:
 
It sounds like he is blatantly disregarding your wants/desires. But he might not even be aware of it. Have you tried communicating with him how this makes you feel (maybe using the sandwich tool)?
No. What’s the sandwich tool?
I tried to talk to him about the watch and he didn’t understand because the “Apple Watch is the best watch you can have” -his words.
 
@PeaceLover coding her dissertation. This is what she said on the phone.

Accept the gift that he gives and ask him for money later that week (for groceries or for the baby) to privately buy what you want.
I’ve been doing this for a while.
He gives money and/or gift cards But I want him to listen and buy what i ask for. Am I being extra?
 
Using this for later. Their ego feels attacked/hurt by you rejecting them, whatever shape or form that rejection took so, they retaliate by projecting and attacking. Do not second guess your intuition or how you handled the situation with these type of peopleAT ALL. All it is is a spiteful projection that's meant to sting. It has nothing, zero, zilch, nada to do with you. Just an attacked ego lashing out. No need to even feel the emotion of wanting to critique and argue‍♀️take a breath, emotionally detach your spirit and see it purely for what is, an ego lashing out. Put the focus back on you. See it that way and none of that nasty stuff will get any where near your beautiful spirit. Stay feminine. ✨
 
No. What’s the sandwich tool?
I tried to talk to him about the watch and he didn’t understand because the “Apple Watch is the best watch you can have” -his words.

Using the Sandwich Technique to get what you want

Bread- Something Positive. Feeling Statement.

Meat- Address the problem without criticizing or blaming.

Bread- Wrap it up with another positive. Put it back on him with a question such as: What do you think?

Example 1️⃣: “Baby I love how safe you always make me feel (Bread). I’m feeling so emotional and scared about this surgery tomorrow. It would help me feel a lot more at ease if you were by my side (Meat) I just love when you’re by my side (Bread)“

Example 2️⃣: You have planned is such a wonderful dates for us and I always have so much fun! (Bread) It feels really good when you give me enough notice that I can fit the date into my schedule. (Meat) How do you feel about giving me a little bit more notice so that I can be sure to fit a lovely date you into my schedule? (Bread)

Example 3️⃣: I always appreciate the time we spend together. I always feel connected to you on so many levels when we are together. (Bread) But I don’t feel comfortable and secure right now because of how fast we are riding. (Meat) Could we go a little slower so I could better relax and spend a little more time with you before our date. (Bread) What do you think?
 
@PeaceLover coding her dissertation. This is what she said on the phone.

Accept the gift that he gives and ask him for money later that week (for groceries or for the baby) to privately buy what you want.

OR

You set the stage to get what you want. “Oh honey I’m looking forward to spending my birthday with you. I’m looking forward to you getting me an Apple Watch and a Brahmin purse (or whatever you want). You make me feel so happy. I’m so lucky to have you. You’re the best.

If he doesn’t get you what you want, the morning of your birthday say “So what time are we doing blah blah blah?” Don’t let him get out of it. Then he’ll realize he is double working by not doing what you want. You’re appreciative of what he gave you but you still expect what you want.
And tell her I’m sure she will be Dr soon.
 
1. Where could you be more trusting of the Universe?
Having patience. The universe may have about 9 dimensions but the 4 dimension is the one that tests you. Lately I’ve been very impatient but I’ve realized that it’s others that are making me feel this way and not myself. I’ve got to have patience if I truly believe the universe is working for me.

2. How could you focus more on being present instead of analyzing each and everything in your life?
By remember tomorrow is not only NOT promised, but the universe only knows the past and present, not the future. Trusting in the universe helps. Strong boundaries help because it keeps you from dwelling on the past.
 
Week 26 Challenge

1. Where could you be more trusting of the Universe?
My career. I’ve been so upset. I know my principal has been using negative terms to describe me to stop me from advancing and to stop me from leaving the school. Two women I trust have verified it.
2. How could you focus more on being present instead of analyzing each and everything in your life?
Just take a deep breath and relax. He might have won that round, but I will win, so I have to stop stressing and continue my search, being strategic about omitting his name. Being confident that who I really am will show and shine.
3. Take our Challenge Survey to improve next year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/QL9ZPNS

Week 26 Trust and Surrender Affirmations
  1. I am not alone in this universe.
  2. I am not alone in this world.
  3. I am a part of nature.
  4. I understand that just as life takes good care of ALL nature. it will also take care of me and all of my needs and desires when I let you.
 
Week 26 Challenge

1. Where could you be more trusting of the Universe?
My career. I’ve been so upset. I know my principal has been using negative terms to describe me to stop me from advancing and to stop me from leaving the school. Two women I trust have verified it.
2. How could you focus more on being present instead of analyzing each and everything in your life?
Just take a deep breath and relax. He might have won that round, but I will win, so I have to stop stressing and continue my search, being strategic about omitting his name. Being confident that who I really am will show and shine.
3. Take our Challenge Survey to improve next year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/QL9ZPNS

Week 26 Trust and Surrender Affirmations
  1. I am not alone in this universe.
  2. I am not alone in this world.
  3. I am a part of nature.
  4. I understand that just as life takes good care of ALL nature. it will also take care of me and all of my needs and desires when I let you.
That job is coming. Start using your assistant principals name as a reference or something. They can’t block your blessings.
 
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