2019 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

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Dear Ladies,

I travelled for one month. And I tell you, it was a test in femininity. So many triggers.

I went to visit my mother's country and due to the situation in the past, women have had to become less feminine in order to cope and survive in the society even the well to do women. Women often hunt men down, talk loudly and are aggressive and argumentative. It's like many of them have been hard wired towards the masculine. One man told me how women literally hunt him down for sex and if he rejects them they get revenge. It's a challenge to be your freshest in a hot climate, sweating, dripping make up, hyperpigmentation and eating fatty foods and drinking sugary drinks and being overweight is what many women have to combat.

It was a challenge to not want to get aggressive in such a hustling environment. I told myself be gentle, speak slowly but be firm so I don't get taken advantage. I always wore a sun hat, sun glasses and sun block. Women would say why do you need that stuff, are you not trying to be dark. I explained that even with sun glasses and sun block I will tan, the point is to protect my skin from sagging and hyper pigmentation. I tried like heck to avoid the rich and fatty foods and lots of rice and desserts. I made sure to exercise everyday. And I tell you men were coming out of the wood work to help me. Many women were not that happy, I was a stark contrast to their behavior. I also now wear my hair in micro locs and my locs began to hang and it was a good feeling not to wear a wig and be carefree, men also liked that a lot. My skin was fresh, so I didn't leave make up stains on peoples outfits and men's shirts. A few times my older female relatives called me out on the silliest things I stayed in my element and didn't get thrown off my feminine course. It takes practice to be feminine.

I remember in my head Marie Kondo one episode when one of the men who she was showing how to clean said well I will leave you here to clean and she said in the sweetest but firmest voice that her job was not to clean but to show him how to do it himself.

I was grateful for this thread.

Best,
Almond Eyes
 
almond eyes said:
Dear Ladies,

I travelled for one month. And I tell you, it was a test in femininity. So many triggers.

I went to visit my mother's country and due to the situation in the past, women have had to become less feminine in order to cope and survive in the society even the well to do women. Women often hunt men down, talk loudly and are aggressive and argumentative. It's like many of them have been hard wired towards the masculine. One man told me how women literally hunt him down for sex and if he rejects them they get revenge. It's a challenge to be your freshest in a hot climate, sweating, dripping make up, hyperpigmentation and eating fatty foods and drinking sugary drinks and being overweight is what many women have to combat.

It was a challenge to not want to get aggressive in such a hustling environment. I told myself be gentle, speak slowly but be firm so I don't get taken advantage. I always wore a sun hat, sun glasses and sun block. Women would say why do you need that stuff, are you not trying to be dark. I explained that even with sun glasses and sun block I will tan, the point is to protect my skin from sagging and hyper pigmentation. I tried like heck to avoid the rich and fatty foods and lots of rice and desserts. I made sure to exercise everyday. And I tell you men were coming out of the wood work to help me. Many women were not that happy, I was a stark contrast to their behavior. I also now wear my hair in micro locs and my locs began to hang and it was a good feeling not to wear a wig and be carefree, men also liked that a lot. My skin was fresh, so I didn't leave make up stains on peoples outfits and men's shirts. A few times my older female relatives called me out on the silliest things I stayed in my element and didn't get thrown off my feminine course. It takes practice to be feminine.

I remember in my head Marie Kondo one episode when one of the men who she was showing how to clean said well I will leave you here to clean and she said in the sweetest but firmest voice that her job was not to clean but to show him how to do it himself.

I was grateful for this thread.

Best,
Almond Eyes
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:toocool::cup::urock:
 
almond eyes said:
Dear Ladies,

I travelled for one month. And I tell you, it was a test in femininity. So many triggers.

I went to visit my mother's country and due to the situation in the past, women have had to become less feminine in order to cope and survive in the society even the well to do women. Women often hunt men down, talk loudly and are aggressive and argumentative. It's like many of them have been hard wired towards the masculine. One man told me how women literally hunt him down for sex and if he rejects them they get revenge. It's a challenge to be your freshest in a hot climate, sweating, dripping make up, hyperpigmentation and eating fatty foods and drinking sugary drinks and being overweight is what many women have to combat.

It was a challenge to not want to get aggressive in such a hustling environment. I told myself be gentle, speak slowly but be firm so I don't get taken advantage. I always wore a sun hat, sun glasses and sun block. Women would say why do you need that stuff, are you not trying to be dark. I explained that even with sun glasses and sun block I will tan, the point is to protect my skin from sagging and hyper pigmentation. I tried like heck to avoid the rich and fatty foods and lots of rice and desserts. I made sure to exercise everyday. And I tell you men were coming out of the wood work to help me. Many women were not that happy, I was a stark contrast to their behavior. I also now wear my hair in micro locs and my locs began to hang and it was a good feeling not to wear a wig and be carefree, men also liked that a lot. My skin was fresh, so I didn't leave make up stains on peoples outfits and men's shirts. A few times my older female relatives called me out on the silliest things I stayed in my element and didn't get thrown off my feminine course. It takes practice to be feminine.

I remember in my head Marie Kondo one episode when one of the men who she was showing how to clean said well I will leave you here to clean and she said in the sweetest but firmest voice that her job was not to clean but to show him how to do it himself.

I was grateful for this thread.

Best,
Almond Eyes
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I loved reading this. I always say that we, as women, can set the tone in any environment. Those women may have been giving you a hard time, but I bet at least one of them will make some changes based on what she saw you do.
 
Week 22 Challenge
1. What is it that you could do to help your house feel comfortable?
I have it at a good place. I would like to get rid of a few of my son's toys but overall im really happy with my space.
2. What small baby steps could you work on to help your family come home and feel refreshed? Add a candle? Purchase a bouquet of flowers for the dining room table?
Flowers and plants would help. I wish I had a green thumb.
3. How could you nurture a musical home? Turn on some jazz music for when the kids come home from school? Smile and play soothing music while giving nonsexual touch when your significant other comes home? Give yourself some me time and unwind to music?
I could definitely play more Jazz. My grandma used to play that whenever we were with her. I loved it. Elevator music calms me down a lot too.
4. What is it that could transform your home through you setting the tone?
I need more "light". I changed the liner for my shower curtain to a clear one under a white one and it made a huge difference in the lighting in the bathroom.
 
almond eyes said:
Dear Ladies,

I travelled for one month. And I tell you, it was a test in femininity. So many triggers.

I went to visit my mother's country and due to the situation in the past, women have had to become less feminine in order to cope and survive in the society even the well to do women. Women often hunt men down, talk loudly and are aggressive and argumentative. It's like many of them have been hard wired towards the masculine. One man told me how women literally hunt him down for sex and if he rejects them they get revenge. It's a challenge to be your freshest in a hot climate, sweating, dripping make up, hyperpigmentation and eating fatty foods and drinking sugary drinks and being overweight is what many women have to combat.

It was a challenge to not want to get aggressive in such a hustling environment. I told myself be gentle, speak slowly but be firm so I don't get taken advantage. I always wore a sun hat, sun glasses and sun block. Women would say why do you need that stuff, are you not trying to be dark. I explained that even with sun glasses and sun block I will tan, the point is to protect my skin from sagging and hyper pigmentation. I tried like heck to avoid the rich and fatty foods and lots of rice and desserts. I made sure to exercise everyday. And I tell you men were coming out of the wood work to help me. Many women were not that happy, I was a stark contrast to their behavior. I also now wear my hair in micro locs and my locs began to hang and it was a good feeling not to wear a wig and be carefree, men also liked that a lot. My skin was fresh, so I didn't leave make up stains on peoples outfits and men's shirts. A few times my older female relatives called me out on the silliest things I stayed in my element and didn't get thrown off my feminine course. It takes practice to be feminine.

I remember in my head Marie Kondo one episode when one of the men who she was showing how to clean said well I will leave you here to clean and she said in the sweetest but firmest voice that her job was not to clean but to show him how to do it himself.

I was grateful for this thread.

Best,
Almond Eyes
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I LOVE this!! Thank you for sharing! The power of femininity :yep:
 
I’ve been investing in my summer casual. This morning instead of putting on a T-shirt and gym shorts to grocery shop, I put on some linen shorts and a vneck T-shirt. A man in the parking lot stopped me to tell me how gorgeous I am, just beautiful. It felt good. I’m just as comfortable as I would’ve been in gym shorts- the tiniest bit of effort.
I’ve been getting a lot of grocery store run compliments since I started wearing real clothes to the store.
 
Feminine energy does NOT work on ALL men. When I first started doing this work, I assumed that all men would be falling at my feet :giggle: Well not really but kinda LOL. And I got quickly frustrated. But as I stopped doing this work to get an outcome with men, I started to open the valve so to speak and the truth is a lot of men out there are not masculine enough to appreciate a feminine energy woman. And that's ok too :yep: We don't want them. I am trusting the process :yep:
 
Belle Du Jour said:
Feminine energy does NOT work on ALL men. When I first started doing this work, I assumed that all men would be falling at my feet :giggle: Well not really but kinda LOL. And I got quickly frustrated. But as I stopped doing this work to get an outcome with men, I started to open the valve so to speak and the truth is a lot of men out there are not masculine enough to appreciate a feminine energy woman. And that's ok too :yep: We don't want them. I am trusting the process :yep:
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Big facts! I’m still learning this. Masculine men desire feminine women. And if your femininity upsets him or turns him off, he is not masculine. He may be wounded masculine. But he’s not healthy or ready for you
 
It makes my heart happy to my friends still perfecting their craft and learning how to cook and plate. Even my friends that thought it was silly, some have really gotten good at it. It’s a nice way to develop a hobby from things you have to do anyway.
 

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The scarcity mindset can creep up in your life in ways you won’t even realize. I pride myself in being a thrifty person. I love to catch the latest deals. I like to shop at thrift stores and dollar tree. I shop the clearance rack. I can stretch a dollar. Don’t get me wrong this is a beautiful skill to have. BUT I have to be mindful to still get WHAT I WANT.

I saw this cute feminine beach towel I really wanted at the mall today. But it was $15. I just couldn’t justify it. I could buy TEN beach towels at the thrift store. But I probably wouldn’t like them as much nor would I take care of them because they have no value to me. I passed up on that towel.

The scarcity mindset puts your focus on perceived lack. You believe you have a lack of money and subcouniously you teach yourself you’re not worth it to have what you REALLY want. With this mindset, it transcends to all areas of your life until your PERCEPTION becomes reality.

Remember everything in your life is a mere reflection like a mirror.

An abundant mindset focus on the gratitude. It believes the more you put out, the more you will receive and it transcends to all areas of your life until your PERCEPTION that you have enough and you deserve what you want becomes REALITY.

this can show up in your relationships. Are you talking to a man that’s....alright but doesn’t do it for you? Do you meet men that are Unwilling to give you top shelf chivalry and instead “discount you” and give you only SOME of what you’re worth? Stop acting in scarcity with yourself. I made the choice to drop the scarcity mindset today. I drove BACK to the store and got my towel. Decorated like a watermelon it reminds me that life has seeds but spit them out and eat it any way. Get what you WANT. You deserve it!

Buy the dress you really want. You might not have 10 dresses but you will have 3 dresses you really love.
Buy the groceries you really want. If you know store brand tastes nasty even if it’s on sale....pass it up and get what you WANT.
If you’re in a relationship and you KNOW you don’t like this man....don’t act out of scarcity. Keep your options open until your intuition speaks to you and tells you....THIS is the one you want.
Order what you want instead of what’s cheap on dates. Go to the places you actually like.
Don’t ever discount your worth. Instead, add tax.
 

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Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month
February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time
March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April- Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 20: Home Aromas
Week 21: How Clean is Your Home
Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home
Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive


June
Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive

Learn to become emotionally unreactive. Stop arguments and conflict in its tracks. Learn to not REACT. Instead RESPOND.
Reacting involves doing any of the masculine C traits. (Criticizing, confronting, coddling, chasing, convincing, and etc.)
Before you start doing these....
Lean back.
Let them come to you. This is hard. This might take days, hours, or months.
BUT remember you hold all the power when he comes to YOU.
Keep the end game in mind. What is is that YOU want? What is your goal?
Think about all the scenarios based off the man you have. (Keep in mind this is analytical and therefore masculine. Don’t do this too much or long.)
If he surprises you and does something different and you don’t know what to say have a pull-put plan.
Say:I’m not really sure how I feel right now. I just need a moment. (Come back and post your situation in the group or ask a good friend.)
Show him with actions or lack of how to treat you. Words won’t work.

You cannot control other people. The other is the problem. So why would you be up in the air because of THEIR problem. You care about the other person, but you only have a certain amount of energy. This is why you focus this energy on yourself. You NEVER deplete yourself. Reserve energy for you. Protect your peace. When they come to you to talk you speak with femininity honesty and truth to move forward in the relationships. Grown people do what they want to do. Never leave a relationship knowing you put in more than he. Lean back. Focus on You.

Example: Let’s say your boyfriend told you he would take you out. He comes over but y’all get to chilling. He has no plans of taking you out.
Reacting: You always do this ish. You think I don’t realize what you’re doing but it really pisses me off when. (Criticizing and confronting him)
Responding: Get dressed up, put on makeup, leave the house and go out alone. (Your actions will ALWAYS work better than your words. )


Week 23 Challenge
1. In the past what have you blown up About?
2. What small baby steps could you work on to not be emotionally reactive?
3. What will you do this week to keep your cool?
 
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PrissiSippi said:
Example: Let’s say your boyfriend told you he would take you out. He comes over but y’all get to chilling. He has no plans of taking you out.
Reacting: You always do this ish. You think I don’t realize what you’re doing but it really pisses me off when. (Criticizing and confronting him)
Responding: Get dressed up, put on makeup, leave the house and go out alone. (Your actions will ALWAYS work better than your words. )
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Question: wouldn't this eventually lead to confrontation? To give another example: I remember in the movie 'Disappearing Acts' when Sanaa's character wanted to buy cheaper tickets to attend a concert. Wesley's character had already bought tickets and didn't feel like exchanging them for better seats. Sanaa disregarded his sentiments and went on and bought the cheaper tickets anyway. Result? Wesley's character walked away and she was forced to attend the concert by herself. It led to confrontation at home.
 
There's no hope left for me :nono:. Was a victim of vishing just 2 minutes ago and yeah, I took it there :nono:. First of all: the woman called with an anonymous number, she was speaking gibberish, I am an INTJ and that infuriates me.

She was saying that in April 2018 I booked some kind of travel I supposedly never paid for and now collections is going to do whatever. First of all: I have not set foot outside of Europe in 10 years. Second of all, I'm off for the rest of the week, I've started my pre b-day celebrations, so this was extra aggravating. And now...well now I'm unsettled. I cannot stand liars, I knew she was lying, calling with an anonymous number, never mentioning my name or anything. So I should've just put the W-questions in practice: who? what? where? when? why? Uh.

How would y'all have handled it?
 
Maracujá said:
She was saying that in April 2018 I booked some kind of travel I supposedly never paid for and now collections is going to do whatever. First of all: I have not set foot outside of Europe in 10 years.

How would y'all have handled it?
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I usually politely hang-up. You’d already figured it out.

I remember I had almost got caught in a scam when they called and said there was a warrant out for my arrest for back taxes. I was shook because I had owed the previous year but I paid them with my return. A couple of weeks before, I had just asked for a refund because they actually took more than was owed and I was waiting for my refund. I’m like, I just spoke their the IRS and she said everything was fine and just wait to receive my refund.

So, of course, I cannot get arrested at my job and I was going to just pay. Then, he tells me to get a gift card. I said what? He said a gift card, load it with a certain amount and give him the numbers. I asked him to repeat that again. And then, I hung up.

We live and we learn.
 
Maracujá said:
There's no hope left for me :nono:. Was a victim of vishing just 2 minutes ago and yeah, I took it there :nono:. First of all: the woman called with an anonymous number, she was speaking gibberish, I am an INTJ and that infuriates me.

She was saying that in April 2018 I booked some kind of travel I supposedly never paid for and now collections is going to do whatever. First of all: I have not set foot outside of Europe in 10 years. Second of all, I'm off for the rest of the week, I've started my pre b-day celebrations, so this was extra aggravating. And now...well now I'm unsettled. I cannot stand liars, I knew she was lying, calling with an anonymous number, never mentioning my name or anything. So I should've just put the W-questions in practice: who? what? where? when? why? Uh.

How would y'all have handled it?
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I don't answer anonymous/private numbers. They can leave a message if they feel it's important, I'll listen and decide if I think it's important or not and respond accordingly.
 
Week 23 Challenge
1. In the past what have you blown up About?
Everything. :drunk: My thing is I’d never blow up outwardly but I was filled with rage and resentment about many things.
2. What small baby steps could you work on to not be emotionally reactive?
3. What will you do this week to keep your cool?
I’ve changed my phone wall paper so that it now depicts my personal mission statement. It’s something that was discussed in a workshop I attended Monday. This helps me stay focused on who I want to be and the actions I need to take to make that a reality. It does not involve becoming overly emotional at every slight.
 
1. In the past what have you blown up About?
Way too many things to recount.

2. What small baby steps could you work on to not be emotionally reactive?
I'm working on learning to take a deep breath and counting to five internally before speaking.
Also I sometimes just keep quiet instead of verbally lashing out.

3. What will you do this week to keep your cool?
Keep affirming my goal to be less emotionally reactive. I'm seeing results already.
And I keep reminding myself it's ok to walk away.
 
Week 23 Challenge
1. In the past what have you blown up About?
I'm not a hot tempered person at all. I blow up when I feel that someone is being condescending. I take it as an attack on my intelligence and I can't take that. This is only an issue I have with my mom.
2. What small baby steps could you work on to not be emotionally reactive?
I can refuse to engage in arguments before the personal attacks begin. I can walk away.
3. What will you do this week to keep your cool?
If anything comes up with my mom, I'll say something like "okay" and keep it moving
 
My sister celebrated her birthday on May 17th. She recently broke up with a guy I told her not to move in with. She is very broken because of the situation and is becoming bitter.

Went to visit her prior to her birthday and saw that she has a drawing of her, from Paris, that she would like to frame. So I suggested to let it be framed for her, as a birthday gift, she agreed. Now granted, I am a procrastinator / very patient person, however you like it. My sister kept asking about it and I kept telling her to be patient.

Yesterday as we were on WhatsApp she said - out of nowhere - that she wants the drawing back by the end of July. I kept my poise and asked her whether she would like for me to bring it to her in Antwerp or will she be coming to Ghent. She said it doesn't matter. I just played it cool and kept it moving. Felt good.
 
Maracujá said:
My sister celebrated her birthday on May 17th. She recently broke up with a guy I told her not to move in with. She is very broken because of the situation and is becoming bitter.

Went to visit her prior to her birthday and saw that she has a drawing of her, from Paris, that she would like to frame. So I suggested to let it be framed for her, as a birthday gift, she agreed. Now granted, I am a procrastinator / very patient person, however you like it. My sister kept asking about it and I kept telling her to be patient.

Yesterday as we were on WhatsApp she said - out of nowhere - that she wants the drawing back by the end of July. I kept my poise and asked her whether she would like for me to bring it to her in Antwerp or will she be coming to Ghent. She said it doesn't matter. I just played it cool and kept it moving. Felt good.
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It does feel good to be in control at all times. I do think your sister needs some TLC during these times. Breakups can be soooo painful. She really needs you. Her heart is hurting. But that doesn’t mean she gets to trample your feelings and boundaries.
 
PrissiSippi said:
It does feel good to be in control at all times. I do think your sister needs some TLC during these times. Breakups can be soooo painful. She really needs you. Her heart is hurting. But that doesn’t mean she gets to trample your feelings and boundaries.
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Every single time I try to initiate contact, she blocks it. We all warned her not to get with this guy, but she is so stubborn. I am extremely introverted whereas she is very extroverted. She finds my life extremely boring compared to hers. Plus, I am not good with emotions.
 
I still have some work to do on being emotionally unreactive.

So a friend of mine called me. This friend I talk about a lot in this thread. I stick up for her a lot and we’ve been close since high school. I feel like she’s not being 100% truthful but she said her African friend was talking about black people. Here’s the kicker. My said friend went on to tell me everything her friend said. (Me being black how are you going to call me up and tell me what someone said about black people? I found that very offensive).

Black people lazy
Black people don’t have degrees.
Black people rely on the government.
We have everything given to us and still don’t use it
The males don’t take care of their children.
Most of us are growing up in single parent homes.

I said actually this stuff is not true. She said actually research proves this is all true. And she kept going on from the guise of yeah I defended y’all. I told my friend that she needs more experience.

Y’all I went ape on her. I went IN on her to the point I don’t even know if we can work past this and be friends. If I would have stayed emotionally reactive I would have cut her off as soon as she started listing things about black people and ask her what was the supposed end goal of this conversation and got off the phone.

Instead curiosity killed the cat and I sat and listened to what she had to say. I used a lot of feeling statements. I feel very offended. If these are true NAME some
Black people you know from our high school or university that are uneducated or even don’t take care of their kids. (She couldn’t name any. She kept saying statistics say this) But why are you researching US? You don’t date US. You don’t want to marry US. Your research topic isn’t on US. So you’re LYING. Every single black people we graduated with is doing better than this girl so why are you trying to put us down? The same people you call your friends. Who does that?!

I dunno y’all. I cut the conversation off and told her we would start all the way over on our conversation at a later time. But I feel so slighted that I just don’t know.

I did a little better on my femininity journey because I didn’t ARGUE my point. I asked those questions and shut up. But I must say I still find it hard to not jab others and talk calm when people jab me.
 
Brwnbeauti said:
@PrissiSippi idk that I would’ve responded any differently.
I also don’t know if this person deserves your friendship.
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It just feels weird to me. And this is a girl I’ve been friends with since probably 2004. In wondering was this just a bad day and why would you say negative things about your friends demographics. I dunno. I AM going to keep the focus on me and I took a break from her. I plan on having fun today with my friends. It’s a beautiful day outside.
 
Brwnbeauti said:
@PrissiSippi idk that I would’ve responded any differently.
I also don’t know if this person deserves your friendship.
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I agree. But I know that I would have asked, "If you're such a racist, then why are we friends?" Sorry, not sorry. She showed her true thoughts and colors in my opinion. I wouldn't have anything to do with her after that point. I couldn't have someone who I knew felt like that about my entire race of people share my time and energy. Someone like that would keep me on edge, and that friendship would not be worth my peace of mind.
 
PrissiSippi said:
It just feels weird to me. And this is a girl I’ve been friends with since probably 2004. In wondering was this just a bad day and why would you say negative things about your friends demographics. I dunno. I AM going to keep the focus on me and I took a break from her. I plan on having fun today with my friends. It’s a beautiful day outside.
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This is just like when a white person has a black friend and claims not to be racist. And yet in some of these friendships it's clear the white person believes they are better than their black friend.

I'm assuming your friend is African. I may be wrong. It's clear to me she believes she is better than you. A good friend would have put a quick stop to the conversation with the prejudiced friend (or corrected her thinking) and not mentioned it to you. I don't understand why she felt the need to share that conversation with you.
 
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Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month
February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time
March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April- Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 20: Home Aromas
Week 21: How Clean is Your Home
Week 22: Set the Tone in Your Home



June- Inner Work
Week 23: Become Emotionally Unreactive
Week 24: Boundaries

An example of different types of boundaries, how to enforce them, and scripts to say can be found here: https://docdro.id/41k2cRl


Why is it important to set boundaries?

  • To protect yourself and practice self-care and self-respect

  • To communicate your needs in a relationship

  • To make time and space for positive interactions

  • To set limits in a relationship in a way that is healthy

  • To become and STAY a challenge

  • To create emotional security to protect your heart and not over-give in relationships

How to enforce these boundaries

  1. When you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, calmly, firmly, respectfully, and in as few words as possible. (The more words you say, the more you can put your foot in your mouth. Say it and then be quiet.)

  2. Do not justify, get angry, or apologize for the boundary you are setting.

  3. You are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to the boundary you are setting.

  4. You are only responsible for communicating your boundary in a respectful manner.

  5. If it upset them, know it is their problem.

  6. Some people, especially those accustomed to controlling, abusing, or manipulating you, might test you.

  7. The man will give you resistance when you start setting boundaries. Plan on it, expect it but remain firm. Give him space. Remember Space + Femininity creates Tension which draws him even closer. Give him time to go into his man cave and come back to you with a solution to your boundaries.

  8. Remember, your behavior must match the boundaries you are setting.

  9. You cannot successfully establish a clear boundary if you send mixed messages by apologizing. At first, you will probably feel selfish, guilty, or embarrassed when you set a boundary.

  10. Do it anyway and remind yourself you have a right to self-care.

  11. Setting boundaries is a process that takes practice and determination.

  12. Don’t let anxiety, fear or guilt prevent you from taking care of yourself.

  13. When you feel anger or resentment or find yourself whining or complaining, you probably need to set a boundary.

  14. Listen to yourself, determine what you need to do or say, then communicate assertively.

  15. Remember learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. It is a process. You will make mistakes.

  16. It’s Block History Month- Develop a support system of people who respect your right to set boundaries. Eliminate or BLOCK toxic persons from your life— those who want to manipulate, abuse, and control you.

Week 24 Challenge
1. What are some of your boundaries in each area: Dating, Professional, Family, Time, Emotional, Sexual, Physical
2. How can you enforce each boundary?
3. What is your biggest challenge in presenting your boundaries in a feminine way?
 
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