2019 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

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Preparing myself to attend the birthday of a 1-year-young boy! He has both Congolese and Angolan roots, so I ordered cookie cutters in the shape of both countries. Here's the result:

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The mom and me attend the same church and she asked me for some Angolan delicacies. Will post more pics later on...
 
-I use Amlactin and my Salux towel to keep my skin soft
-My hubby made me a makeup vanity so I have an area dedicated to my makeup. I put it on every day
-If I cant keep my hands done I make sure I KEEP my feet done. I have a foot file in my tub to keep my feet soft in between pedicures.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Yall this lady that is really sweet to me at the store asked me to help her with my homework. I want to help her. She wants me to drive 20 minutes away to help. I don't want to drive that far. How do I word that?
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I’m so glad you don’t do too much for people who don’t go all out for you anymore. Priss, you’re really doing a good job now.
 
Maracujá said:
Preparing myself to attend the birthday of a 1-year-young boy! He has both Congolese and Angolan roots, so I ordered cookie cutters in the shape of both countries. Here's the result:

View attachment 446713

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The mom and me attend the same church and she asked me for some Angolan delicacies. Will post more pics later on...
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What a very thoughtful touch!
 
One issue I'm having with recapturing my feminine power is being weighed down by judgement from my mom. I have always been able to graciously sit back and receive. I am naturally very playful and childlike and very good at being in the present. The issue is that my mom is the opposite of all of these things and lives very much in her masculine energy. She has shown literal disgust at me being able to happily be and receive from others. And I tell her, I never ask for anything. I know that giving gives some people a sense of satisfaction and even joy! It feels natural to me to lean back and receive. My mom also tries to make me feel less feminine because of my weight. I'll get this weight off, but I won't let that stop me from being as lovely as I can be any longer.

On a lighter note!
I straightened my hair and I absolutely love it!! I feel so feminine and polished when my hair is straight versus when I wear a wash n'go. I love playing with my hair, flipping it over my shoulder, feeling how silky it is. It's so much fun! I might pay to get my hair done at a Dominican salon along with getting my nails down. I'll be a whole new person :gorgeous: .
 
ckisland said:
One issue I'm having with recapturing my feminine power is being weighed down by judgement from my mom. I have always been able to graciously sit back and receive. I am naturally very playful and childlike and very good at being in the present. The issue is that my mom is the opposite of all of these things and lives very much in her masculine energy. She has shown literal disgust at me being able to happily be and receive from others. And I tell her, I never ask for anything. I know that giving gives some people a sense of satisfaction and even joy! It feels natural to me to lean back and receive. My mom also tries to make me feel less feminine because of my weight. I'll get this weight off, but I won't let that stop me from being as lovely as I can be any longer.

On a lighter note!
I straightened my hair and I absolutely love it!! I feel so feminine and polished when my hair is straight versus when I wear a wash n'go. I love playing with my hair, flipping it over my shoulder, feeling how silky it is. It's so much fun! I might pay to get my hair done at a Dominican salon along with getting my nails down. I'll be a whole new person :gorgeous: .
Click to expand...

There is a segment in here called block history month and protecting your peace. You have to figure how to block her masculinity out so that it doesn’t bother you. The first way is to not react/be reactive and that means not reacting based on your emotions. Poking usually triggers an emotional response, so the key is to not react to them. Don’t try to stop it all at once, but instead, little by little.

Start from the beginning and figure out a system that works for you. Some weeks resonate with me immediately and some resonate weeks later for me. Also, you distract yourself from your problems; figure out your triggers and issues and start working on them, one by one. It takes a while (took me a year) but you will be surprised when the changes start turning your life around.

I hope others chime in. We also have accountability partners.
 
Thank you @Saludable84 !!! I went through a time where I worked very very hard to protect my peace (for different reasons). It was so difficult, but I saw what my big triggers are. I will go back to the beginning and take time to answer questions from the weeks that speak to me. And thank you for reminder about accountability partners!!

Does anyone need an accountability partner?
 
ckisland said:
One issue I'm having with recapturing my feminine power is being weighed down by judgement from my mom. I have always been able to graciously sit back and receive. I am naturally very playful and childlike and very good at being in the present. The issue is that my mom is the opposite of all of these things and lives very much in her masculine energy. She has shown literal disgust at me being able to happily be and receive from others. And I tell her, I never ask for anything. I know that giving gives some people a sense of satisfaction and even joy! It feels natural to me to lean back and receive. My mom also tries to make me feel less feminine because of my weight. I'll get this weight off, but I won't let that stop me from being as lovely as I can be any longer.

On a lighter note!
I straightened my hair and I absolutely love it!! I feel so feminine and polished when my hair is straight versus when I wear a wash n'go. I love playing with my hair, flipping it over my shoulder, feeling how silky it is. It's so much fun! I might pay to get my hair done at a Dominican salon along with getting my nails down. I'll be a whole new person :gorgeous: .
Click to expand...
I had to strengthen my boundaries and walk away from my mother for awhile. Now I feel I can tolerate her much better. Whenever I feel she is pushing me to my masculine I set a timer in my head and talk to her for 10 minutes or so and end the convo or leave the house. It has worked wonders
 



Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month
February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time
March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April- Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers
Week 20: Home Aromas


Week 20: Home Aromas​
This lies in the power of your femininity. Continue to look to improve your home. Keep fresh flowers, but also focus on aromas. What does your home SMELL like? When your husband/children walk in... what do they smell? Smells often set the tone. Bring out the candles. Seek to use candlelight instead of bright light fixtures where you want it calming such as in your bedroom. Add scented candles to the living room to transform your space.

Ideas:
  • Place thick pretty blankets at the edge of your bed or couch.
  • Light candles to transform your space.
  • Replace white outlet covers with brushed nickel or chrome
  • Add fresh flowers
  • You could make a Lavender/Eucalyptus Linen Spray
  • Create a pleasant smell with lavender or vanilla plug-ins.
  • Replace dish soap bottles with glass soap dispensers
  • Change the hardware on the drawers
  • Use lamps instead of overhead lights
  • Keep clutter out of sight. No mail, paper, or junk anywhere.
  • Keep the television or computers in certain rooms. Use a Bluetooth speaker to play smooth music instead.
  • Keep your sink EMPTY. Load your dishwasher at night and empty it every morning.


Week 20 Challenge

  1. Add touches of sexiness, femininity, and aroma throughout by adding candles.
  2. Continue nurturing your flowers and houseplants from last week. Take in their beauty. Admire their beauty. Make it your focal point. If your flowers are placed in the kitchen or living room, make sure it’s in your direct focus upon entering the home so you can take in and appreciate its beauty
 
This Week I made a nice lavender eucalyptus linen spray that I keep on my nightstand.

I simply mixed about 10 drops of lavender, 10 drops of eucalyptus, a little rubbing alcohol, and water to fill the glass spray bottle to the top (2 oz bottle).

I've been trying to make bedtime a ritual instead of routine by spraying my linen spray before bed. It really sets the stage for bed and helps me feel so relaxed! Let me know if you try it! Step by Step instructions can be found on:

https://wholefully.com/diy-lavender-linen-spray/
 
I don't think I saw this, but another idea would be to use a scented vacuum powder. I try to use on every time I vacuum and it leaves my room smelling so good!

We never have flowers in the house, but right now we have 2 bouquets! One is a mix of roses and other flowers that I was sent as an apology. The other was for my mom for Mother's Day. I just moved my flowers from the dining room table to the bookshelf by my bed. I also have 2 candles sitting on my dresser that I've only lit a few times in the couple of years I've had them. When I get home, I'll clean off my dresser (it's a HOT mess) and set the flowers there. I'll also light my candles.

I'm learning how to paint my nails, and I'm already so much better after only my second attempt! I love looking at my hands with color on them. This weekend I'll buy a few more colors, and I'm definitely getting a glitter shade. I'm also going to suck it up and buy a face moisturizer with sunscreen and some face masks.
 
I created this quick weekday meal in about 30 minutes! I made a homemade pasta sauce and added whatever meat will had in the house. It was a hit with hubby and the children. I might need to add this recipe to my arsenal.

OAN I started teaching kickboxing. One of the teachers loved my form and asked me to start teaching others. I love a great hobby that I can get paid while getting a great work out!

I’ve been really slowing down. Before when I said this I focused mainly on my actions, but these days it’s my words as well. I’m better at thinking before I speak. I really could have had a few arguments. I hit him with, I see you’re getting upset so I’m going to end this convo so we can talk peacefully at a later time. He is still him flaws and all but I’m able to really navigate everything better and stay in my feminine the entire time. It’s really helped my relationship and parenting.
 

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ckisland said:
I don't think I saw this, but another idea would be to use a scented vacuum powder. I try to use on every time I vacuum and it leaves my room smelling so good!

We never have flowers in the house, but right now we have 2 bouquets! One is a mix of roses and other flowers that I was sent as an apology. The other was for my mom for Mother's Day. I just moved my flowers from the dining room table to the bookshelf by my bed. I also have 2 candles sitting on my dresser that I've only lit a few times in the couple of years I've had them. When I get home, I'll clean off my dresser (it's a HOT mess) and set the flowers there. I'll also light my candles.

I'm learning how to paint my nails, and I'm already so much better after only my second attempt! I love looking at my hands with color on them. This weekend I'll buy a few more colors, and I'm definitely getting a glitter shade. I'm also going to suck it up and buy a face moisturizer with sunscreen and some face masks.
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I'm going to get some flowers now! I've been slacking up today! I'm going to make it intentional and make a bouquet today.
 
Made me a floral arrangement and stuffed salmon with loaded mashed potatoes and steamed green beans for dinner. It was absolutely delish
 

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How many of you ladies are homeowners? And if you ever rented in the past, did it change the way you take care of your home now?
 
Maracujá said:
How many of you ladies are homeowners? And if you ever rented in the past, did it change the way you take care of your home now?
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My husband and I are homeowners. There is absolutely no difference in how I take care of our home. The way I took care of my rental when I was single is the same way I took care of our home when I moved in to his place is the same way I take care of our home now. Having a clean home makes the space feel warm, inviting and peaceful. I'm a firm believer in making your space a safe haven whether you are a renter, homeowner or living in a college dorm.

Of course as a homeowner we make necessary updates and investments so it continues to increase in value and for our own enjoyment.

Over the past few months we've had different contractors over as we are making a few updates. Each person has remarked at how well kept our home is. One person came in and said, "Your house is so peaceful."

We have a rental property and each time I've been over there to check on things I'm disheartened with how the tenants maintain the place. There is no order. Full trash bags sitting in the hallway. It takes no time to put a trash bag in the trash can outside. Dirty dishes fill the sink and are stacked up on the counter. Our previous tenants weren't much better. It's a shame because it's a nice place in a great location.
 
Maracujá said:
How many of you ladies are homeowners? And if you ever rented in the past, did it change the way you take care of your home now?
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I'm a homeowner. I had an apartment in the past, but it hasn't changed the way I take care of my home now. The femininity challenge has really helped me to transform my space though. Every week I'm throwing something away. I'm really striving to make my home a way to experience Heaven on earth. Slowly step by step it's getting there! Candles, flowers, recessed lighting, bright colors, and cleanliness has gone a long way. I do try to stay on top of things so I don't have any major surprises or big messes I have to fix.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Made me a floral arrangement and stuffed salmon with loaded mashed potatoes and steamed green beans for dinner. It was absolutely delish
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I love your flowers!!! I realize how much I don't like rose bouquets. I'm just not that kinda girl LOL!! The food looks bomb!!

I lit my candles and let them burn for a few hours. Oh my gosh my room smelled soooo good :love: . I'll do it again before bed when I get off work!

I became "friends" with this guy that I met during my online dating escapade. We haven't met but he's asked me out a few times now but I was always talking to someone else. Well I said yes to a date, and I suggest a cute place that's not far from me since I don't drive. Come to find out that he doesn't have a car right now and asked me to meet him in a place 30 mins away!!! Instead of saying absolutely not, I told him to let me know when meeting where I suggested would work for him. My old self would rush to either shut it down, or to find a place that was more in the middle of us. Instead, I leaned back and left the ball in his court. I'm not lifting another finger :giggle: . His last text was that he wants to talk about setting a date up, so we shall see.
 
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ckisland said:
I love your flowers!!! I realize how much I don't like rose bouquets. I'm just not that kinda girl LOL!! The food looks bomb!!

I lit my candles and let them burn for a few hours. Oh my gosh my room smelled soooo good :love: . I'll do it again before bed when I get off work!

I became "friends" with this guy that I met during my online dating escapade. We haven't met but he's asked me out a few times now but I was always talking to someone else. Well I said yes to a date, and I suggest a cute place that's not far from me since I don't drive. Come to find out that he doesn't have a car right now and asked me to meet him in a place 30 mins away!!! Instead of saying absolutely not, I told him to let me know when meeting where I suggested would work for him. My old self would rush to either shut it down, or to find a place that was more in the middle of us. Instead, I leaned back and left the ball in his court. I'm not lifting another finger :giggle: . His last text was that he wants to talk about setting a date up, so we shall see.
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Leaning back has truly been a game changer for me but it's often very hard.

Lately, my husband has been trying to start over and rekindle our relationship. However, now I really see that he never cherished me. He only respected me. I told me he misses me for talks of being a power couple (aka building him up), spending time with me without spending money (barf), and my cooking (what I do for him). He never once said anything about my beauty, charm, the way I have dimples when I smile really bright, my goofiness, how I'm a great mother....nothing. I don't think I could ever go back.

He also started telling me he wanted his family back. Old me would have created a list telling him what he needed to do and how we would need to do xyz. Instead I leaned back and trusted the process. His actions directly correlate with his interest. He made all these talks about how he wanted to go out on dates once a week and he would find a babysitter. Do you think he made ONE attempt to plan a date or even ask my mother to babysit? No. That's not the type of man I could trust with my heart, my children, or my livelihood.

I feel I deserve more these days. This dude bought me a $5 candle for Mother's Day. #Dassit And you're trying to come home and I wasn't the reason you left? Give me a break. Men do the best in the beginning so that $5 candle really sets the stage. Leaning back has truly been emotional security for me.
 
Brwnbeauti said:
@PrissiSippi mothers day had me peeping game on a lot of men.
the way some men praise their wives says a lot about what they value in them.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being strong or able to support yourself but I’d die if Dh did that.
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I really peeped that too. In one book they talk about being cherished versus being respected. Cherished is when a man appreciates you for your femininity, but respected is when he appreciates your masculine qualities. It really hurt but I really found my ex husband loved me for what I did for him. The state of being which is what femininity encompasses was of no value to him.
 
PrissiSippi said:
I really peeped that too. In one book they talk about being cherished versus being respected. Cherished is when a man appreciates you for your femininity, but respected is when he appreciates your masculine qualities. It really hurt but I really found my ex husband loved me for what I did for him. The state of being which is what femininity encompasses was of no value to him.
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That reminds me of " Wives respect your husbands. Husbands love you wives." :yep: Men and women just aren't the same. We have different needs, and like you said, I need to be cherished not respected.
 
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