2019 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

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Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month
February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time
March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April- Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

Week 18: Limiting Beliefs

A limiting belief is a belief you have (a thought you've repeated over and over and accept as fact) that you think makes it impossible for you to get what you want. Usually deeply ingrained from childhood or from past experiences.


In order to heal a limiting belief you have to replace it with a different thought. In order to heal a trigger, you have to experience it, recognize you're being triggered, accept/love this irrational feeling that's coming up, investigate if it's true, and if it's not, choose to do something different (even if it's scary).



  • Could you close your eyes and imagine your soulmate?


  • Limiting Beliefs: affirmation, meditation, reframe your limiting beliefs. Flip Tool is when you FLIP these beliefs and transform them to something powerful and positive like an affirmation. Examples:
    • All men are bad. → Most black men are good.


    • Love doesn’t last forever. → Anything worthwhile in life requires a degree of risk.


    • Men don’t like my personality. → There is an abundance of men like that who really want to LOVE me, just for being you.


    • I’m not worthy of love → I am worthy of my heart’s desires.


    • I’m not good enough → I am worthy. I always have been. I always will be. I am perfect just as I am.


    • I fear that I won’t ever find a romantic partner → There is someone out there that likes me for me and would love to date me.


    • Men want to waste my time → “The right man for me will stay”.


    • No good man will want me. → There is an abundance of good single men out there willing to give me the commitment I desire.


    • I can’t get out of debt → There is an abundance of wealth out there just waiting for me to take it on.


    • My disability is a curse → My disability is an opportunity for me to do something that no one has ever done before.


    • You can’t even get a man interested in you. You loser woman. → Delight yourself in the Lord and you shall be given the desires of your heart.


    • You should give up on dating. Love isn’t for you. Can’t you see? → I am worthy of EVERYTHING good in life.


    • Who do you think you are to be treated like queen of England by men? → I am a child of the Universe, a divine spark, deserving of the highest treatment and goodies that life has to offer.


    • IDENTIFY WHAT YOU WANT AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN PUTTING OFF.


    • Link massive pain to NOT doing what you want. What will happen if you don’t do what you want. What’s my life going to be like. What will it cost me?


    • Link pleasure to doing it?
I discovered that the root of past self-esteem issues was my fear of rejection and abandonment. This is further rooted in the belief that you aren't "good enough." I actually asked myself why I acted the way that I did with men, and I listened and a small voice said, "Because you don't think you're good enough." I was floored!

Week 18 Challenge
1. What are your limiting beliefs?
2. What are you going to navigate this?
 
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  • Men only start taking notice of personality, past the age of 50. Before that they're more interested in beauty & looks. So I will have to wait another decade or so, to find a decent man. ---> There are plenty of men in their 30s and 40s that want nothing more than a carefree lifestyle à la Lenny Kravitz in Brazil :lol:
  • My past is a heavy baggage, that no man will be willing to unpack with me ---> As Boris Kodjoe's character said in Tyler Perry's movie: "Some men come to restore."
  • I am making an idol out of marriage, children and running a household ---> I enjoy my singleness and am willing to be single for as long as God wants me to. But my desires for something He created me for, are not unnatural.
  • I am unloveable. ---> Everyone deserves love and there's someone out there for everyone. I need to stop making this harder than it is.
  • The man I want will love me after I lose the weight, complete my therapy sessions, heal from scoliosis, obtain another degree, speak one more language, grow my hair and own property. --> The man God has for me will love me for me. I will come undone and he will want me. Just like youngsters used to love each other in 1990s Angola :2inlove:.
 
Maracujá said:
  • Men only start taking notice of personality, past the age of 50. Before that they're more interested in beauty & looks. So I will have to wait another decade or so, to find a decent man. ---> There are plenty of men in their 30s and 40s that want nothing more than a carefree lifestyle à la Lenny Kravitz in Brazil :lol:
  • My past is a heavy baggage, that no man will be willing to unpack with me ---> As Boris Kodjoe's character said in Tyler Perry's movie: "Some men come to restore."
  • I am making an idol out of marriage, children and running a household ---> I enjoy my singleness and am willing to be single for as long as God wants me to. But my desires for something He created me for, are not unnatural.
  • I am unloveable. ---> Everyone deserves love and there's someone out there for everyone. I AM DISCONTINUING making this harder than it is.
  • The man I want will love me after I lose the weight, complete my therapy sessions, heal from scoliosis, obtain another degree, speak one more language, grow my hair and own property. --> The man God has for me will love me for me. I will come undone and he will want me. Just like youngsters used to love each other in 1990s Angola :2inlove:.
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I changed will to AM to stay in the preset :kiss3: You go girl!
 
PrissiSippi said:
Back Pain from my car accident and I have no idea about the migraines
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@PrissiSippi
Make sure to see a Doctor about your migraines! I had severe migraines a few years ago and the prescription I was provided was entirely too strong. I felt like a zombie. However, the doctor mentioned that my stress levels were too high. I didn't take it seriously enough at the time. However, after really suffering for several few months, I realized that my work stress was 100% responsible for my migraines. Once, I stopped killing myself at work (started using my sick leave - I had over 500 hours available), my migraines started to occur less and less. I have since changed jobs and I rarely get them now.
 
Hi.

It takes me a while to get back in here because I need a certain energy to update in the thread (not a bad thing lol), but I did want to mention something and give a mini-update. What I really want to relay is that when you are saying affirmations, they keep you present. When you may be expressing problems, concerns or aggravation to the someone, keep your thoughts present. Affirmations teach you this. If you dont like the way a person has made you feel in the past, make the feeling you want present when you express it. Last, if you notice you arent being present, catch yourself (which is why it is important to think before you speak or speak slowly when you speak) and go back to what you are saying and reword it. Catch yourself. No one will laugh and speaking in the present will raise your confidence immensely.
 
PrissiSippi said:
I went on a date last night. I don't think he was interested in me. He was very quiet and didn't make eye contact with me AT ALL. I ordered my food and drinks, stayed about 15 minutes waiting on him to initiate conversation or even look at me....then I bounced lol. I joined the table with another girl I knew and we danced and laughed all night long. I have never had the confidence to do that before. This journey is really teaching me to stay in the present and keep the focus on ME.
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Lol he messaged me last night talking about it's not he wasn't interested. He just didn't like the place. Boy please. It took you a week to contact me? Bye
 
Hypothetical Fake Scenario:

It took him over an hour to get to me and when he arrives, he looks at my car and doesn’t even give me a hug or anything. (My feelings were hurt) once the tow man arrived, my husband didn’t even help me get any of my belongings out of the car but watched me carry everything KNOWING my back was hurting.

Feminine ladies what would you have done?
 
PrissiSippi said:
Hypothetical Fake Scenario:

It took him over an hour to get to me and when he arrives, he looks at my car and doesn’t even give me a hug or anything. (My feelings were hurt) once the tow man arrived, my husband didn’t even help me get any of my belongings out of the car but watched me carry everything KNOWING my back was hurting.

Feminine ladies what would you have done?
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Omgeezus. Maybe started handing him bags while not looking at him and walking away at the same time, to make it seem like I already knew he was gonna take them without an issue.

Maybe mention back pain and use it as a reason to be laid up looking luxurious for the rest of the night? Have him run bath water and help you in. Thank him as if he wasn’t being a mega douche earlier?

I know all about that “little to no affection upon meeting” thing. SO did it recently and I was super hurt but I pretended I wasn’t and continued being happy go lucky. He eventually was all over me but it was my turn to not want to be bothered. He didn’t like that at all
 



Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month
February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time
March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April- Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique (Last Year's Post)
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

May- Home Living
Week 19: Beautify Your Environment: Buy Fresh Flowers


Why not treat yourself to beauty?


Flowers have been scientifically proven to make you happier.

Researchers Seong-Hyun Park and Richard H. Mattson or Kansas State University found that hospital patients who stayed in rooms filled with plants and flowers had "significantly fewer intakes of postoperative analgesics, more positive physiological responses evidenced by lower systolic blood pressure and heart rate, lower ratings of pain, anxiety, and fatigue, and more positive feelings and higher satisfaction about their rooms when compared with patients in the control group". If flowers can do that for hospital patients, surely a healthy person can gain some benefit by putting them in their home. Right?


During this challenge we focus on a lot. We focus on you becoming a better girlfriend/wife. We focus on you becoming a better mother. We focus on you becoming a better housewife. All of this starts with you. This means how YOU feel comes first. It’s not just about looking feminine, it is also about living and breathing the part. One way to do so is to surround yourself with beauty. You should place fresh flowers at home, so that every time you arrive or leave, you are reminded that you are a beautiful woman with the world at her feet. From daisies to lilies, it is up to you what you want to bring into your home.


Bright, fresh cut flowers instantly improve your mood. People with fresh flowers in their homes are most likely to feel less worried and feel fewer periods of anxiety or depression.


Fresh flowers have been shown to stimulate creativity while promoting concentration. Adding flowers and fresh plants to your child’s bedroom or play area will brighten the space as well as their growing imagination, while also encouraging responsibility. Put a vase at your desk because they can also spark your creativity while you’re at work.


Week 19 Challenge

  1. Add touches of beauty throughout by adding real flowers.
  2. Already have flowers in your space? Use your feminine energy to nurture a houseplant.
 
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I have an aloe plant at my desk and it has brightened my mood and area immensely. I don’t have a green thumb so bringing plants or flowers home are just a big no unless I’m ok with them not lasting long.
 
Saludable84 said:
I have an aloe plant at my desk and it has brightened my mood and area immensely. I don’t have a green thumb so bringing plants or flowers home are just a big no unless I’m ok with them not lasting long.
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I’ve heard they have soooo many healing properties! I wouldn’t mind having one
 
PrissiSippi said:
I’ve heard they have soooo many healing properties! I wouldn’t mind having one
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I had someone at my job get it growing. A Wiccan gave me two baby ones. I’ll try to capture a picture, but I left it with a green thumb (work with both of them) a couple years ago and he recently kicked my plant out of the nursery, said it just needs to be watered weekly. Then he and another green thumb come by still feeding them lol. I don’t mind. It’s definitely brightened my desk and my mood.
 
  • Week 18 Challenge
1. What are your limiting beliefs?
2. What are you going to navigate this?
Student loan debt is a part of life.
- Increasing my payment exponentially. Reminding myself that temporary lack will lead to abundance. Abundance of discretionary funds and freedom and security
Love is pain/marriage is hard.
- A person who loves you will avoid hurting you. If I can navigate life hurting very few people that I care for, they can reciprocate. If the relationship is plentiful in hurt, the love isn’t real.
I’m a bit late
 
My ex-husband came to get our son yesterday for a haircut. You know what I did? Put the laundry down and the house cleaning and took the longest nap of my life. I slept from 5-9:30 p.m. and WENT BACK to sleep at 11:30 lol. I didn't get much down but I feel SO refreshed in my element. I wouldn't have been able to do that a few months ago. Clothes would have to be washed or something would have had to be cooked (we ate out instead). It felt nice to take off the cape and stay in my feminine energy. I even had enough time to buy donuts for my son's school today for Teacher's Appreciation Week. Woot Woot!
 
What’s your always put together plan?

This goes back to the fact that you can tell how well a woman’s husband/boyfriend takes care of her based on her appearance.

This lady came in to speak to a group of people yesterday. Her coach purse looked like it was 20 years old (frayed edges and discolored) and her nails were chipped and looked like she needed a fill in months ago.

I would rather for us have no nail polish and no purse than to not look put together. What’s your plan to keep yourself up even on the hard days?
 

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PrissiSippi said:
What’s your always put together plan?

This goes back to the fact that you can tell how well a woman’s husband/boyfriend takes care of her based on her appearance.

This lady came in to speak to a group of people yesterday. Her coach purse looked like it was 20 years old (frayed edges and discolored) and her nails were chipped and looked like she needed a fill in months ago.

I would rather for us have no nail polish and no purse than to not look put together. What’s your plan to keep yourself up even on the hard days?
Click to expand...
I take care of my body so on hard days I still look presentable with minimal effort. I drink water, eat lean meats, fruits and veggies, do my nails or am without polish. I don’t keep frayed or worn items anymore. I am growing my brows out so they’re a bit fuzzier than usual, but I still put a bit of gel on them.
 
PrissiSippi said:
What’s your always put together plan?

This goes back to the fact that you can tell how well a woman’s husband/boyfriend takes care of her based on her appearance.

This lady came in to speak to a group of people yesterday. Her coach purse looked like it was 20 years old (frayed edges and discolored) and her nails were chipped and looked like she needed a fill in months ago.

I would rather for us have no nail polish and no purse than to not look put together. What’s your plan to keep yourself up even on the hard days?
Click to expand...

-I rely a lot on clear nail polish.
-Dresses because they are easy to just throw on and look pretty.
-Wigs for when I don't have the time or don't feel like doing my hair.
 
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Brwnbeauti said:
I take care of my body so on hard days I still look presentable with minimal effort. I drink water, eat lean meats, fruits and veggies, do my nails or am without polish. I don’t keep frayed or worn items anymore. I am growing my brows out so they’re a bit fuzzier than usual, but I still put a bit of gel on them.
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I very recently started doing this too. I don't even know why I held on to that stuff anyway.
 
PrissiSippi said:
What’s your always put together plan?

This goes back to the fact that you can tell how well a woman’s husband/boyfriend takes care of her based on her appearance.

This lady came in to speak to a group of people yesterday. Her coach purse looked like it was 20 years old (frayed edges and discolored) and her nails were chipped and looked like she needed a fill in months ago.

I would rather for us have no nail polish and no purse than to not look put together. What’s your plan to keep yourself up even on the hard days?
Click to expand...

Self-care.
Keep my makeup minimal.
Iron my clothes. I see women so often just like "whatever" and I cant be like that.
Wear clean, good quality clothes and dress in a way that reflect how I want to present myself all the time, versus dressing for my mood.
Always keep my nails trimmed, maintained and with clear polish.
My hair usually pulled back.
 
I get a mani and pedi once a month.. get my hair braided or done every two months. Give my self facials and buy special lotions that help with keeping my skin blemish free. I am all about taking care of me! Even my SO notices and he definitely appreciates how I take care of myself. I try to avoid him on my ruff days lol.. even then he has seen me and still appreciates the amount of effort I take. When I spend nights during work weeks he tells me to take as much time as I need.
 
PrissiSippi said:
What’s your always put together plan?

This goes back to the fact that you can tell how well a woman’s husband/boyfriend takes care of her based on her appearance.

This lady came in to speak to a group of people yesterday. Her coach purse looked like it was 20 years old (frayed edges and discolored) and her nails were chipped and looked like she needed a fill in months ago.

I would rather for us have no nail polish and no purse than to not look put together. What’s your plan to keep yourself up even on the hard days?
Click to expand...

-I make sure my clothes are wrinkle free.
-I spend money on classic items, cut corners wherever it makes sense and I tailor my clothes if I need to. A good seamstress can make an inexpensive dress look like it is a good quality dress.
-I make sure my shoes look nice.
-I get rid of anything the looks dingy, worn or frayed.
-I get my hair done every three to four weeks. It makes a difference for me. Its time set aside to care for myself and my hair looks good.
-I get regular pedicures and keep my fingernails neat and wear a clear coat.
-Jewelry. No matter how simple my outfit is, jewelry can change the look. I always wear a watch, wedding rings, two stackable rings and earrings. Earrings may be diamond studs, pearls, hoops or something a bit more eye catching. For necklaces I stick to either my diamond pendant or pearl pendant.
-I make sure I get plenty of restful sleep.
-I exfoliate in the shower everyday and keep up with my nightly face routine.
 
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