2019 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

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Saludable84 said:
I know you asked @PrissiSippi but I used to do this and stopped a lot of this earlier this year when I began learning to listen versus listening to talk.
- I stopped offering advice and just listened.
- I began asking for the situation or whatever to be explained again but slowly. I tell the person “can you tell me again, I want to understand better”
- I began asking questions. Let the person hear themselves out while not really giving advice. I also do ask questions that are condescending. I try my best to reword them or make my tone of concern.
- let them know I understand what they are trying to achieve and if I don’t, i ask for more clarity for that I can understand better.
- i speak softly and I smile, make eye contact. I have to work on facial expressions though lol.
- finally, I don’t give advice but if it’s something I wouldn’t do, just end with something flattering to say.

It takes more time but wastes less energy.
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Thank you! I think a big part of it is slowing the process down like you said here. I am working on it, going to try your steps and save some energy and hurt feelings in the process hopefully lol!
 
(I'll make this shorter later lol. Thank yall for being patient. I intended to post this on Thursday, but I might forget.)​

Change Your Vibe and Become A High Value Woman
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  1. Challenge+Investment+ Self-love = High value
    1. Stay physically fione. How? Make time for you EVERYDAY. Make it intentional.

    2. She doesn't give in so easily or even quickly. Make him work for EVERY little thing you give him (your time, your dates, your presence, your phone calls, your hand in marriage).

    3. Only accept the BEST from him.

    4. Make him court you with consistent dates. She understands that if he's not dating you, he's not showing you off. And if he is not showing you off, he doesn't like you THAT MUCH.

    5. Make him stay consistent in his investments without nagging about it...LEAVE. Accept or Reject.

    6. Inspire him to pursue, protect (physically, publicly, and emotionally), provide, and please you
  2. Learn to say NO without guilt. If he can’t date you? NO you don’t get to do this. Goodbye. Block History Month.

  3. You deserve to save your deep conversations for real dates. You don't mindlessly stay on the phone. You have a life.

  4. It all starts mentally. A high value woman believes you are the air he needs to breathe, the passion that fires his soul, the peace that covers his heart, and the playfulness that lights him up. YOU ARE THE PRIZE and you act accordingly.

  5. She spends time with like minded women that will activate her femininity.

  6. She refrains from being over giving, overfunctioning, chasing, begging, trying to please, being too accommodating, acting too nice, going for low value men.

  7. She understands being single and happy is better than being in a relationship and miserable.

  8. She leads with her femininity. She controls her mouth. Control what comes out of your mouth. Even in the most delicate of situations you know how to say it femininely and not tell men what to say. Instead you ask.

  9. Don’t self-sabotage.

  10. Stay in the present. Don’t dwell in the past or future. Just now. (Oh I don’t want to talk about that. I just want to focus on right now.)

  11. Don’t be attention seeking and needy. He doesn't owe you a phone call everyday even if he should Stay in observation mode. Have your own fulfilling life. Don't be clingy if he doesn't call, instead fill up your calendar with other things to do.

  12. Get in touch with how you feel. Use a lot of feeling messages to lead verbally with your femininity.

  13. You create tension through distance/space, warmth/softness (dripping honey), and boundaries.

  14. She graciously receives from a man. She receives more than she gives. She doesn't try to OUTDO his giving, because she realizes that he LIKES to give to her. And the more he invests in her the MORE he loves her.

  15. She knows and acts like she is the prize.

  16. You put your needs first and can say NO without guilt or explanation. NO means NO.

  17. You learn how to not tolerate bad behavior, disrespect or his sexual frustrations.

  18. You can genuinely receive and not say, “Oh no; it’s alright” or always accept the convenient answer. when he says, “Thank you for an amazing night” don’t say “You too.” Stay in your feminine. Stay receiving. “My pleasure honey!” is your default. You protect yourself with your boundaries when he expects more.

  19. Be a woman he can’t afford to lose BUT be easy to lose! You’re easy to lose. He messes up...you’re NOT afraid to leave him. There are PLENTY of fish in the sea. You will leave a man that disrespects or mistreats her.

  20. She enforces her standards and boundaries.
    1. She doesn’t get pressured into giving up sex for the fear of being alone, rejected, or etc.

    2. Doesn’t give girlfriend/wife benefits without the title and until her needs are met.

    3. Expects courtship and dates. Will not let a man who doesn’t value her or add value to her enter her life. She KNOWS that women experience sex in a more emotional way so she requires emotional insurance though dates, gifts, and favors.
  21. Leans back so far that you’re lying down when he’s stupid.

  22. A high value woman doesn’t cling to people or experiences. She can leave those that are not for the best of her. She is STRATEGICALLY SELFISH.

  23. She doesn’t commit to a guy who hasn’t committed to her. She doesn’t take on a girlfriend role. She doesn’t want a guy who does not want her. She is turned off by wishy-washy guys.

  24. She has a happy, self-confident, emotionally healthy energy. She VERY INFREQUENTLY appears to be unhappy or unlucky.

  25. She ALWAYS has other options.

  26. She is a truly empowered woman, who knows herself, knows what she wants, and never settles for any less than she deserves. She has a list of what she wants and she REJECTS EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT THAT. She doesn't start acting masculine when he doesn't give her what she wants. She doesn't convince him. She is ALWAYS prepared to walk away gracefully.

  27. She is NEVER clingy. The opposite of easy to lose is clingy.

  28. She NEVER tries to fix or change a man. She STAYS in observation mode. She accepts him or rejects him. (You cant change ANYTHING on a man other than his diaper).

  29. Focusing and worrying about the future destroys what you have in the present. She stays in the PRESENT. She doesn't focus on who he USED to be or his POTENTIAL. She ONLY loves what she's getting RIGHT NOW.

  30. She knows how to be present, laugh, connect with joy, and have FUN. She is very jovial, playful, and appropriately silly.

  31. A high-value woman also loves her life as it is. She sees love everywhere and welcomes love from everywhere and that love adds to her value further. She sees the glass half-full, instead of half-empty. She's not desperate by any means."

  32. A high-value woman knows how to seduce a man with her feminine mystique.

  33. She is the Upgrade. She is the Prize. Her presence is highly valuable because:
    1. What guy doesn't love the ever-positive energy she projects to the world?

    2. What guy can shun such a powerful feminine presence and radiance?

    3. What guy can resist a seductive woman whose only power is her feminine presence?
  34. She has power and self-confidence. He is free to leave anytime to pursue his happiness. She cares about his happiness, but she doesn’t NEED him to be happy. SHE makes herself happy.

  35. She is easy to lose. He feels like a hero to her but if he snoozes he feels he will lose.

  36. She has her own life. She can leave and do her own things in her own space. She enjoys her me time and creates beautiful things separate from her relationships.

  37. She doesn’t try to change him. She accepts him or rejects him.

  38. She is warm, affectionate, loving, but FIRM in her boundaries.

  39. Have a high degree of difficulty. You have strong boundaries. You can easily leave but hard to forget. She doesn’t care about being easy for a man… she’s on a personal mission to be difficult. In fact, she’s damn near impossible unless she’s getting everything she wants, before, not after, she lets a man become intimate with her. A woman with a High Degree of Difficulty doesn't need a man. She likes a man, but she doesn't need him. And she won't chase him, either.

  40. She values her time and doesn’t let others waste it. (No last minute dates, no netflix and chill dates, no pre-dates.)

  41. She does not lead with her career or degrees even if she has them. It's WAY more that she is aside from her career. Her TRUE power is in her femininity not all her accomplishments. She let's him be the man and lead and doesn't have to compete with him even though she's pretty darn impressive.

  42. She is very present. She just enjoys life at the given moment. (She is involved in many hobbies. She’s not always in her phone.)

  43. She knows she has choices when it comes to men. She’s not afraid to leave because she knows someone else is out there.

  44. She has clear boundaries and knows how she will and will not be treated.
    1. The only thing making him feel like he can treat you however he wants and you’ll stick around anyway, is you and your own misguided feeling of loyalty and commitment to him.

    2. She has a change of attitude, which will often be the key to transforming the entire relationship. It means you give yourself permission to entertain other possibilities.
 
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Phew, this is definitely A LOT to digest, but so necessary. Will definitely refer back to it in the course of this week.

One point that stood out to me in particular, is the one about being happy as a singlista in lieu of being in an unhealthy relationship. Finally starting to get to this point :yep:. It took a lot of time...but God :).
 
Had to come back here, cause I was just in the Wendy Williams thread and ummm yeah...so, at the chance of opening up a can of worms: why do women get played so much? Why can't we seem to win in the love game?
 
Maracujá said:
Phew, this is definitely A LOT to digest, but so necessary. Will definitely refer back to it in the course of this week.

One point that stood out to me in particular, is the one about being happy as a singlista in lieu of being in an unhealthy relationship. Finally starting to get to this point :yep:. It took a lot of time...but God :).
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I'm struggling with that point this week. I'm going to have to talk myself through this point and really really accept it as truth. I KNOW it's truth, but I really need to hone in on it. We are in this together.
 
Maracujá said:
Had to come back here, cause I was just in the Wendy Williams thread and ummm yeah...so, at the chance of opening up a can of worms: why do women get played so much? Why can't we seem to win in the love game?
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I seem to think it's maybe because time is not on our side. Men have til eternity to have children, and they get settled later than us (around 40s) while we typically want to settle down at 30 ish. I think it's just how the cookie crumbles.
 
PrissiSippi said:
I'm struggling with that point this week. I'm going to have to talk myself through this point and really really accept it as truth. I KNOW it's truth, but I really need to hone in on it. We are in this together.
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Believe me, I know the feeling. Been single for 13 years this year, most of the time we're told to just "wait on Boaz". But I've gotten to the point where, even if he never shows up...I'm good :):

 
I felt really juicy today :look: I had on a great figure hugging faux wrap dress. I was wearing my new Cole Haan wedges. I love how I walk in them :giggle: It's very easy to sway in them naturally. I'm being intentional about slowing down instead of rushing and really believing that I am gracing the world with my feminine energy. I try to speak to people as much as I can--at the drug store, the coffee shop, the bus stop, etc. Like so many feminine energy coaches say, start small with plants, dogs, babies, then graduate to women and then men. My energy is opening up so much and I LOVE it!
 
My mother offered to pick up DS. I wore a yellow dress and I had planned to cook yellow foods because this week we are learning about the color yellow. But you think I didn’t tell my mama to pick up DS?! THROW IT IN THE BAG! I’m going freestyling TODAY. I just said I need to go out more yesterday in this thread. The Universe is giving me the desires of my heart.
 
Yesterday was What You TACO bout Willis Tuesday. Happy plating.

I'm learning how to plate on a dime now. I want my food to look nice, but it not cost much money to do so. I think I'm going to talk about how I created this look on my blog.

  • The two glass bowls came from Dollar Tree - $2
  • The three remekins came from Pier 1 (thrift store finds but Similar Ones are at Dollar Tree) - $3
  • The rectangular tray is from a set. It was a little more expensive ($10 for 3) but you could easily use a foiled lined cookie sheet or a regular white plate.
 

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PrissiSippi said:
Yesterday was What You TACO bout Willis Tuesday. Happy plating.

I'm learning how to plate on a dime now. I want my food to look nice, but it not cost much money to do so. I think I'm going to talk about how I created this look on my blog.

  • The two glass bowls came from Dollar Tree - $2
  • The three remekins came from Pier 1 (thrift store finds but Similar Ones are at Dollar Tree) - $3
  • The rectangular tray is from a set. It was a little more expensive ($10 for 3) but you could easily use a foiled lined cookie sheet or a regular white plate.
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Beautiful! What is your blog? I definitely need ideas I am in a food slump!
 
PrissiSippi said:
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I hate when they target BW like this.

I do agree that she can change her body language and be more inviting. Not at all questioning it. I have done that myself. But to target her as "thats why shes single" and "your expectations are too high" is just demeaning. It needs to be reworded and she needs not be the problem. You can make your body language more open and inviting and still have the high expectation, but let a guy weed himself out. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be approached respectfully and that standard shouldnt be "too high" but if her body language is to be more inviting, then, at what point do we change her frame of mind to accept opening her mind as well to even talk to a guy. Her mind and body need to be open.

They are already breaking her down.
 
PrissiSippi said:
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I appreciate advice on tapping into our femininity, but I'm sick of the "that's why you ain't got no man" message (not directed at you @PrissiSippi ). I've met TONS of witches with a "B" that stay booed up . . .and they're not switching their persona up around their man. On the other side, there are TONS of women who are loving, open, and giving who are perpetually single. I guess I just take the message as saying we are flawed if we don't have a man, when in reality, we are ALL flawed . . .yet still worthy of being loved.
 
Saludable84 said:
I hate when they target BW like this.

I do agree that she can change her body language and be more inviting. Not at all questioning it. I have done that myself. But to target her as "thats why shes single" and "your expectations are too high" is just demeaning. It needs to be reworded and she needs not be the problem. You can make your body language more open and inviting and still have the high expectation, but let a guy weed himself out. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be approached respectfully and that standard shouldnt be "too high" but if her body language is to be more inviting, then, at what point do we change her frame of mind to accept opening her mind as well to even talk to a guy. Her mind and body need to be open.

They are already breaking her down.
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Girl! We are on the SAME page! :lachen:
 
Silkycoils said:
I appreciate advice on tapping into our femininity, but I'm sick of the "that's why you ain't got no man" message (not directed at you @PrissiSippi ). I've met TONS of witches with a "B" that stay booed up . . .and they're not switching their persona up around their man. On the other side, there are TONS of women who are loving, open, and giving who are perpetually single. I guess I just take the message as saying we are flawed if we don't have a man, when in reality, we are ALL flawed . . .yet still worthy of being loved.
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Yaaaas I hate this as well. It’s like they keep moving the goal post. If I’m single I’m enough. If I’m booed up I’m enough. If I’m married I’m enough. If I’m divorced I’m STILL enough. We are ALL enough enough to be loved!
 
I had to cringe. My cousin recently potty trained her little boy. The problem was the daddy didn't feel like the boy was old enough. He said she was pushing the baby too hard to be potty trained. BUT when the baby got potty trained, the daddy was bragging about how his big boy goes to the potty to his friends. She was like NAW! YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT HIM POTTY TRAINED. I HAD TO CHECK YOU BEFORE YOU LET ME DO IT. Keep in mind this is around his friends. Emasculating. I get it she was hurt that he was criticizing her skills when he told her he didn't want her potty training the child, but it's waaaay more effective ways to express this than confronting your man, correcting him in public, and criticizing him back. (All C behaviors).

You live and you learn.
 
Turning routines into rituals. On Saturdays my son and I go all out for breakfast. Usually it’s pancakes, grits, eggs, fruit, yogurt, and juice. We usually sing together and do some mini learning activity. (We’re learning colors right now). I was really down after my divorce. I tried my best to make sure we did this when I was married as well but it often meant I had to beg remind and plan things just so it could happen. I felt like with my divorce that tradition would be lost. Through the inner work I realized it didn’t have to be lost and actually I would like this ritual more. I have my peace of mind.
 

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Random but this is the second time a random man has complimented me on my dress. Normally I will wear jeans and a shirt but I decided to wear nice floral slightly above knee floral dresses and men have noticed. I looked around and noticed every other woman was in pants and a t-shirt or workout clothes.
Imma start buying more dresses and skirts for the summer
 
I took my son to Touch a Truck yesterday and we had sooo much fun. We left the house at 1 and I didn't get back til about 9. It really felt good. My son got to tire himself out too by playing with his cousins and playing on the playground. Yall my son is at the age where he wants me to come play with him. He asked me to come slide with him hahaha. Old me would have been like no honey you can do it. Yall I climbed those steps and slide down the slides about 50 times with my little tot. Skirt and all hahaha. Yesterday was fun.

Today, I asked my brother to come cut my grass. I'm a little annoyed that he acts like he doesn't want to do it. He gave me excuses for why he can't do it even though he cuts grass on the side. His excuse is that he has his children on the weekend so I offered to babysit them and DS while he cuts my grass. And I'm going to cook dinner and have it waiting on them when he gets done. We'll see yall. So anyway to get my grass cut I did a few things
  • I didn't ask after he initially told me yes. Instead, I said, "What day will you be coming Saturday or Sunday?" There was no wiggle room for no.
  • I reminded him yesterday. I'm going to remind him today like: What time are yall coming so I can start cooking something for the kids now.
  • I was very attentive and used touch and feeling statements to tell him how much it meant to me that we spent time as a family yesterday. I was appreciative of the OTHER stuff he did for me.'
I'll let yall know how it goes.
 
^^^^Glad you were able to have fun with your sun (no misspelling here :grin:). Let us know how it all works out with your brother, very curious to know:yep:.

This weekend went surprisingly well. I felt more at ease since I was able to clean my kitchen on Thursday, spent the whole day on it. My studio looks more presentable this way. A lot of other things that were on my to do list have been handled as well.

So I've had time to play in my hair:

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And yesterday I visited my sister in Antwerp, together with my mom. This is what she made us:

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She is currently mending a broken heart, but she's on the verge of bitterness rather than letting herself become better through this. All I can do is pray really, we are so different on so many levels. Including our eating habits :lol:.

Today I decided to play in my hair again and wear the beautiful dress I ordered online. Granted, it's Chinese quality :look:, but the design is really nice. Maybe I could get someone to make more dresses like this one, but with better quality:

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Currently sitting at a quaint coffee shop in the city center. Thinking about walking home, since I just gobbled down 3 scones and some freshly pressed fruit juice :o. #noshame
 
You look so youthful @Maracujá. I like the print of the dress. I too need to get a few dresses to prepare for spring. I cleaned out my closet and tried to get rid of dresses I don’t wear or ones that don’t look good on me.

I love it how you always cook with fresh food. I'm soooo happy I made a switch to more fresh foods in my cooking. It tastes a million times better!
 
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Paraphrased from a post I saw on facebook (I saved this as a note on my phone):

Leaning Back CORRECTLY:

Relaxed: There is no tension in your mind or body.

Confident: You are sure of yourself and don't need to prove anything.

Present: You are not in your head projecting into the future or thinking about the past.

Warm: You are open to receiving from a man when he does step up and comes to you.

Letting go: You are not trying to control the outcome.

Happy: No matter what, you are happy because only you have the power to make yourself happy.

I struggle most with being relaxed and being present. But recently I was truly present in the moment and I felt magical. The person I was speaking with seemed to be hanging on my every word LOL. Feminine energy is magical :yep:
 



Recap
January
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised
Week 4: Block History Month
February
Week 5: Self Preservation isn't a Luxury; It's Essential
Week 6: What's in a Voice?
Week 7: Level Up Your Look
Week 8: Turning Routines into Rituals
Week 9: Manage Your Leisure Time
March
Week 10: Be like Children; Not Childish but Childlike
Week 11: Let's Get Some Sunshine
Week 11.5: Stop Over-functioning
Week 12: Looking with Fresh Eyes
Week 13: Communicating in Love
Week 13.5: Becoming a High Value Woman

April- Feminine Refinement
Week 14: Take the Help
Week 14.5: You are ENOUGH
Week 15: Feminine Mystique
Week 15.5: Release unavailable men, unfilled loved, family trauma, and struggle love
Week 16: Clean Up Your Social Media
Week 16.5: Become Fierce, Feminine, and FUN by Building Your Brand
Week 17: Navigating Intimacy Fears
Week 18: Transforming Limiting Beliefs


Week 14: Take the Help
​

The more you allow men to invest and help you, the more they fall in love with you. The key in this is letting the cape go.

Many people downplay compliments to avoid the appearance of conceit. It’s so common that sociolinguists have categorized the three responses to a compliment: acceptance, deflection or rejection. Learn to humbly accept compliments, favors, resources, and help.
Many will say they don't accept the help, because they don't want anyone thinking that they owe them anything. Get this....YOU DON'T OWE THEM ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF A THANK YOU. That's it. However, if someone offers you a gift or favor, learn to accept it. Remember, the more you learn to receive, the more you have the capacity to receive.

If you want to increase your receptivity, take time to pick up every penny you come across. Take the time to laugh at every flower you come across and admire it's beauty. Walk through every door men open for you. That cupcake your coworker wanted to give you...TAKE IT. (Discreetly discard of it if you don't want it.) Before you start each day, take time to meditate and offer your deepest gratitude to the Universe/God. Feel WORTH of someone feeling you are awesome enough to GIVE to. Refrain from being superwoman. LET others love all on you/ help you.

Week 14 Challenge
1. Practice taking compliments. Every time some one says, “That’s a nice dress” or “You plook nice today”, don’t down play it. Say thank you and smile. Take it all in. You DESERVE every single compliment someone gives to you.
2. Take the help. If someone offers to help you....don't say I got it. If someone says do you need help taking these bags in or doing xyz...accept it. Say thank you and smile and let the universe help you.
 
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