LOVE WHITE MEN?

[gone_fishing]

What site/board is TBM?

What happened to me did not happen on TBM. It happened to me on BMV. I'm not typing the words out because frankly I don't want it googled later down the road. I'm going to edit my other post as well. But you can click on the hyperlink I made to go to the site.

There are a lot of men who post on BOTH sites. Some are just hurt and have genuine concerns but some are just angry and not interested in any type of reconcilation and would prefer to lash out at any black woman that crosses their paths.

 

[StrawberryQueen]

Long story short....they took some pictures off of my myspace page with me and my sig other and displayed them as a way to shame me for dating a white man. They said I had no business being on TBM while dating a white man. Then someone else went on to photoshop my significant other out of the pictures and place a nameless hooded k-k-k member in his place. I still have the pictures but they have all be removed from that site - with a little legal help from photobucket.com.

As a side note and to know one inparticular, if you have questions about it, you can pm me privately but I don't really want to rehash the whole thing on this board if that's ok. For the record, the owner of TBM had nothing to do with the issues I faced. There were just a few disgruntled members who wanted to punish me for disagreeing with their views and making the dating choices I made. Not to toot my own horn but I feel if I had been undesirable or ugly in some way, I don't think they wouldn't have made such an effort to embarrass me.

My SO saw the pictures as well. I wasn't going to show him, but I did because I was really upset about them at first and I needed to confide in him. His calm response to the whole thing was very reassuring. He was not phased by it at all. The sad thing is they photoshopped in this k-k-k member BUT my SO was the first one to encourage my presence on that site. He was totally supportive of me trying to learn about blackcommunity issues and our perceived ailments. Now, I know I made the right choice.

I'm sorry this happened to you! How dirty and triflin of them to do such things. Downright disgusting.

 

[SouthernTease]

No, I've never lived in Miami but I know quite a few people from there who have had no problems finding significant others. I don't know your age or your status or exactly what you're looking for so I can't really speak on whether you are right or wrong. But, I know in general it's never helpful to stereotype an entire group of people. Stereotyping and misinformation was a huge contributor to the justification of slavery and the oppression of many other ethnicities of people in other countries. Of course, you can date whoever you like! But I think it can be done without tearing down one group of people in order to build up another.

Sites like BMV and TBM were built on this same sort of stereotype but against BLACK WOMEN. Many of their assertions (on TBM) are justified but some of the men are more extreme. If you were to visit these sites you would label them he-man black woman hating sites! BUT they are really only saying the same thing YOU are saying here. There are no good black women. They are all ghetto, hoes, or lesbians. We know that's not true! Black women know that there ARE some good ones - look at all of us...but to some black men who ONLY run across the shadey - drama filled - angry black woman - they would swear a good black woman doesn't exist. It's the same thing. You can date anyone you want. Just don't pull the wool over your own eyes.

AND to know what in particular. No matter HOW you feel about black men...even if you date a white man or an asian man or a latin man NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER bad mouth black men to them. That is a HUGE no no because it will almost certainly come back to bite your behind later. PLEASE remember that!

We are still apart of each other and nobody will ever TRULY understand us like other black men. It doesn't mean we can't love other ethnicities but there should be a respect between us. There will be issues that white men just will NEVER get. Doesn't make them bad people just means they haven't lived OUR lives. I will not step on top of a black man to climb up to a white man. I will just love who I love and that is that. In my mind I know that I could just as easily be with a great black man as a white one.

Please watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISSm41HNQFk

Like I said before... if you haven't lived here you don't really know. It's not a streotype... it's not my opinion... it's just the facts. Right, if you're looking for a professional, educated Black Man in Miami... your chances are very slim... just a fact!!!

 

[PinkPeony]

What happened to me did not happen on TBM. It happened to me on BMV. I'm not typing the words out because frankly I don't want it googled later down the road. I'm going to edit my other post as well. But you can click on the hyperlink I made to go to the site.

There are a lot of men who post on BOTH sites. Some are just hurt and have genuine concerns but some are just angry and not interested in any type of reconcilation and would prefer to lash out at any black woman that crosses their paths.

I agree.
You made some very good points and I remember you from TBM.
Welcome on board I'm sorry this all hapened to you there,I was not on often enough to notice all the drama.

 

[SouthernTease]

Southern Tease, I lived in Miami for about 5 years and my sis longer and you are not off the mark, IMHO South Beach was for partying but it is a haven for gay men and that does not have to be a bad thing but if you are single and looking for a professional brother, that may not be the spot for you. Plus, I do recall the gold tooth syndrome, that was very overwheming (please don't stone, I speak from experience )

Further north in areas like Hollywood, Pembroke Pines and FL it gets much better. I dated mostly Hispanic guys in Miami. The professional BM there are limited and we were seeing the same faces at all of the events. I've talked to numerous professional BM from other areas who say they love Mimai but it is not a good place for employment at the graduate level. There just weren't many options when it came to BM down there.

Now New York has them all over the place but I just can't seem to find one for myselferplexed

Thanks!!! It's true and you're right... it's just FACTs, I love men... White, Black whatever... just most of my friends would never date a White man... it's unheard of in my circle... so I wanted to see if other Black women outside of my circle were into dating White Men. No Black Man Bashing blah blah... I don't have time to spread hate... I'm a lover not a hater. So I repeat... ALL MEN ARE YUMMY!!!... Well, not all of them... but you know what I mean... they're are yummy ones in Black, White, Blue... whatever... it seems from the poll results that most of ya'll are into or would try being with a White dude (75%)... so that's interesting to know... this was supposed to be a light hearted funny thread but some people have turned it into some drama... so... that's my 2 cent and I'm done with this thread!!!

 

[LondonDiva]

Girl, I just wanted a man! Now, the one that God gave me happens to be white and he treats be better than I ever could have dreamed of being treated, but I will say this- the only time that I wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole is when he "attempts" to dance . I will literally walk off the dance floor and pretend I don't know him. Well, you can't have it all.

Girl I have to say you are beautiful but even more so with that pregnancy glow you have, congrats on the baby!!

 

[LondonDiva]

Seriously.You are gorgeous LD.
Is that how it is in the UK?
My gf's are telling me it's getting bad in Germany too tough.

Yes and funnily enough after reading this thread I thought I'd do a lil test and see who looked and who didn't, I noticed white men tend to look, not gazingly or anything but are aware that you are present, the brothas just walk right past, now on the platforms waiting for a train I noticed when white girls or any woman other than black appeared they lingered, when it's black women they'll look up then look away. Not all of them but most I've seen on my travels to and from work.

 

[Summer_Rain]

Yes and funnily enough after reading this thread I thought I'd do a lil test and see who looked and who didn't, I noticed white men tend to look, not gazingly or anything but are aware that you are present, the brothas just walk right past, now on the platforms waiting for a train I noticed when white girls or any woman other than black appeared they lingered, when it's black women they'll look up then look away. Not all of them but most I've seen on my travels to and from work.

Are you still considering moving to the states?

 

[StrawberryQueen]

London, you siggy pic is wayyy too big.

 

[sj10460]

I wouldn't say I love them, but I do like them..lol..using the word "them" to replace white man, makes "them" sound like aliens or something...lol..but living in the city and being exposed to nations of different ppl and traveling, they are very easy on the eyes however, like black men, I have my preference about what types I like, for some reason I like the "dirty boy" look, you know a little rough around the edges, like the new Justin and Robin Thicke and I love PATRICK SWAYZE!!

 

[HoneyDew]

London, you siggy pic is wayyy too big.

But she looks so pretty!

Yeah LD, you might want to make it smaller. Nikos is pulling off big siggies as we type.

 

[imstush]

London, you siggy pic is wayyy too big.

Your like the siggy patrol

 

[LondonDiva]

London, you siggy pic is wayyy too big.

Is it? Comes up just fine on my comp at work and at home?

 

[LondonDiva]

Your like the siggy patrol

OK I'll try, maybe y'all are seeing something I'm not!

 

[Summer_Rain]

OK I'll try, maybe y'all are seeing something I'm not!

It was kinda large LD. But I liked looking at it (insert retort: no homo!)

 

[LondonDiva]

That's like me having a booger for a week and no one telling me. You naughty girls. I hope it wasn't some A4 size sh**!!! I'd be hella embarrased!!

 

[StrawberryQueen]

That's like me having a booger for a week and no one telling me. You naughty girls. I hope it wasn't some A4 size sh**!!! I'd be hella embarrased!!

Hmmm, it was quite large lol. But you're very pretty so it wasn't a pain to look at. Does that make it better?

 

[NoNapNique]

The reason why I love white men (and once I'm ready, I will likely date one):

Because there's none of the "You think you're better/smarter/more educated/more knowledgable/have better taste/more class than me" undertones during that getting-to-know-you phase. White guys are just a lot more easy-going and not as intimated by and defensive about EEEVERY little topic and comment - they don't read into things, they just go with the flow and ENJOY getting to know you . For instance, black men usually put up the "you think you're better" defense the MINUTE I mention I love to decorate and LOVE anything Pottery Barn, or LOOKS like it (which every major chain copies and sells)... A white guy - It's no big deal, and they might even respond that they LIKE POTTERY BARN TOO! Black guys will think "Just what I thought, she's high maintenance... Why can't she just be happy with stuff from the flea market or grandma's basement?!"

And with white guys it is not a big deal to take you out or wine and dine you - it's all just smooth and seamless. Black men just seem to have a problem, and they'll hold grudges about taking you on dates and borderline cuss you out 2 months later about it (from my personal experience, it has happened with just about EVERY black man I've dated - almost like clockwork ).

Sometimes I feel guilty admitting that I've enjoyed conversations and going out more with white guys (both casually and dating).

 

[LondonDiva]

Hmmm, it was quite large lol. But you're very pretty so it wasn't a pain to look at. Does that make it better?

Aww thank you

Is this size Ok do ya think?

ETA: Infact lemme shrink it down a lil

 

[PinkPeony]

Yes and funnily enough after reading this thread I thought I'd do a lil test and see who looked and who didn't, I noticed white men tend to look, not gazingly or anything but are aware that you are present, the brothas just walk right past, now on the platforms waiting for a train I noticed when white girls or any woman other than black appeared they lingered, when it's black women they'll look up then look away. Not all of them but most I've seen on my travels to and from work.

Wow that's so sad.
I could always count on my blk men to hit on a sista but I guess no more.
My gf's are telling me that second generation blk's (except for some mulatto's) have no love for blk women.
Ummm so you know you have to move to the states.

@Strawberry you're so Gestapo,lol

 

[LondonDiva]

Wow that's so sad.
I could always count on my blk men to hit on a sista but I guess no more.
My gf's are telling me that second generation blk's (except for some mulatto's) have no love for blk women.
Ummm so you know you have to move to the states.

@Strawberry you're so Gestapo,lol

I am Houston, Tx 2008!!!

Before I even pick up my baggage at the airport I get more appreciation from the brothas over there in the US than I do here.

 

[Sistaslick]

I am Houston, Tx 2008!!!

Before I even pick up my baggage at the airport I get more appreciation from the brothas over there in the US than I do here.

That's because Houston men don't pass on beautiful ladies such as yourself. You have to beat 'em back with a stick 'round here. Harrassment I tell ya

 

[PinkPeony]

That's because Houston men don't pass on beautiful ladies such as yourself. You have to beat 'em back with a stick 'round here. Harrassment I tell ya

Is that how it is in Tx huh?

*Maybe I have to come on down for a lil' visit or two to boost my esteem*

Looks like you picked the right place LD,I have to say I have a soft spot for southern man.

 

[LondonDiva]

Are you still considering moving to the states?

Yes girl I am. Considering is not even an option. I don't care how long it takes me...I going going till I'm gone from this dump.

 

[LondonDiva]

That's because Houston men don't pass on beautiful ladies such as yourself. You have to beat 'em back with a stick 'round here. Harrassment I tell ya

Well if that's the case with the fellas down in H-Town you must have an annual supply of sticks. I find everybody down there just so lovely and polite. I'm going again for 2 weeks in August,....I CANNOT WAIT!!!

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Well if that's the case with the fellas down in H-Town you must have an annual supply of sticks. I find everybody down there just so lovely and polite. I'm going again for 2 weeks in August,....I CANNOT WAIT!!!

Yeah, come on over here so I can hear that wonderful accent. That alone will get you beacoup men!!!

 

[gone_fishing]

I wouldn't say I love them, but I do like them..lol..using the word "them" to replace white man, makes "them" sound like aliens or something...lol..but living in the city and being exposed to nations of different ppl and traveling, they are very easy on the eyes however, like black men, I have my preference about what types I like, for some reason I like the "dirty boy" look, you know a little rough around the edges, like the new Justin and Robin Thicke and I love PATRICK SWAYZE!!

I like rugged but none of those guys...lol. I think I'm partial to clean cut though...

 

[Bmack]

Ilove brothas! I have had white men come on to me but I am not interested in looking at anyones pink anything!! I also have to ask where have the ladies that have not met any intelligent brothas, been hanging out at... The local car wash/gas station? I mean damn!

 

[LondonDiva]

Yeah, come on over here so I can hear that wonderful accent. That alone will get you beacoup men!!!

ATL is one place I want to go to. I'm gonna make it my mission to visit there next year for sure!!!

 

[gone_fishing]

Ilove brothas! I have had white men come on to me but I am not interested in looking at anyones pink anything!! I also have to ask where have the ladies that have not met any intelligent brothas, been hanging out at... The local car wash/gas station? I mean damn!

What's wrong with being open to all races? I don't exclude black men by any means but am I willing to limit myself to 10% of the US population...no ma'am I am not.

I used to share your mind but then I decided I'm going to date whoever I like regardless of color and I'm going to stick to that. I've never said there are no good black men. There are plenty but I don't choose from a pool of black men. I choose from a pool of men in general. Therefore skin color is only coincidence and not intentional.