Feminine Belles - Info/discussion/support Thread

I hope you ladies are still checking in on this thread, because there has been so much great information shared here, and I hope to share even more. I'm still reading through all the pages.

So I've been on a recent quest to get back in touch with my feminine essence. I was doing great back when I was single, but noticed that since being in a relationship, I fell off a bit, which in turn led to my SO falling off a bit. I've had a tendency to speak with a harsh tone and interrupt him like crazy. I don't want to be a frog farmer!! I started being more conscious about being softer and gentler, being more appreciative of things he does, and stopping myself and apologizing whenever I interrupted him when we are speaking, and he responded immediately! He has become more affectionate, listens more, and volunteers his help with things around the house.

On another note, I've been an active and conscious practitioner of the Law of Attraction for several years now - since around 2007. I'm all about energy consciousness. So when I saw you ladies talking about operating from your "womb space", I HAD to give it a go! So I started my own social experiment on using feminine energy specifically, WITH law of attraction. First a story:

I'm a real estate agent, and I've had much success using LOA in my real estate business. 2013 and 2014 were some of my best years. I was gung-ho, uber competitive, motivated, and in a very masculine way. I listened to trap music and hardcore rap to get me motivated and into the "zone". Basically did all the things men do. And I did really well, it worked.
Fast-forward to the end of 2015, and I had a baby. I took several months (more like a year actually) off to care for him at home, and when I decided to get back to business, I did all the things to get myself back into the "zone". This time around, NONE of that stuff worked as well as it did before. I closed some deals, but I felt EXHAUSTED, and started losing motivation to do any of that stuff. I just couldn't understand why nothing was working, and why I wasn't feeling it anymore.

Someone in this thread mentioned that women who are older or who have kids seem to "get" this concept of femininity and how to interact with men, and have no problems finding a man and getting married for the 2nd or 3rd time while others struggle to even get to the first marriage, and I thought about that. And I had my AHA moment. I realized, YES...there is a MAJOR energy shift that happens in you when you become a mom. Like me, you may not realize it at first, or even understand what's happening. But it DOES. HAPPEN. So then I understood..being a mom awakened my femininity - it made me more loving, more gentle, more nurturing, more caring, and more understanding. So it made sense that those masculine motivational methods felt like they were sucking the life out of me this time around!

So now on to femininity and LOA. I have a LOA journal where I regularly write the things that I want to attract, my "goals". Lately I've felt out of touch with the word "goals", and realized that it's because for ME, that word has a masculine connotation, and also because it feels like something in the distant future. So I changed it to "accomplishments", because that feels more neutral and implies that the things that I want to manifest are already here. I decided to connect with my "womb space" while writing down my list of accomplishments. It felt AMAZING! My style of writing was completely different, and I felt more magnetized! I had some meetings with clients today. On my drive to my meetings, rather than listen to Kanye and trap music and get hyphy, I listened to some cute Beyonce songs and some other nice, calm R&B. I focused on my feminine magnetism and my womb space. When I met with the clients and they were so warm and receptive to what I was telling them. One woman even leaned in to give me a hug as I was shaking her hand! Afterward, I went to a store, and the same cashier who was completely deadpan with the customers in line before me, lit up when she got to me. She was all chatty Cathy, and super friendly. THIS STUFF WORKS!!

Thank you for reading this very long post! :giggle:

ETA: spelling
 
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Oh, another thing! I'm reading Simply Feminine: Surprising Insights from Men by Morgan Wonderly, and the book opens with this wonderful allegory to explain masculinity and femininity and how they depend upon each other:
The Trellis and the Vine:
An old wooden trellis stood in a lovely but neglected garden. This strong, sturdy trellis felt sad and alone because he had not been in use for many years; no flowers or vines adorned his old, weathered frame. Thinking he had little purpose, he often wondered why he even existed.

One day a new gardener was hired. After seeing the barren trellis, the gardener carried over a lovely vine and asked the trellis if he would kindly supply the structure and direction needed for the vine to thrive. The trellis eagerly accepted the offer, delighted to at last have a beautiful vine to care for and support. Besides feeling purposeful, he also felt thrilled to be adorned with such beauty and softness caressing his framework. He longed to protect her so that she could flourish and shine in her radiant glory.

Over time, and with the trellis’ support, the vine grew more lush, confident, and beautiful by the day. She played freely and happily because she felt safe and secure in the trellis’ arms. She knew she could depend on his stability and strength. She loved entwining her bright leaves throughout his willing frame. He enjoyed feeling useful by supporting her, and he delighted in watching her play and grow. The two united into a perfect visual delight that people often stopped to admire.

Soon, couples asked to say their wedding vows beneath the beautiful shade of the trellis and the vine. Before long, several wedding celebrations happened under their united beauty every week, yet none of the wedded couples stopped to think about what created such beauty.

Without the vine, the trellis would have appeared boring, drab, and lifeless. Without the supportive trellis, the vine’s radiant beauty could not have been protected, nurtured and showcased.

This story of The Trellis and the Vine illustrates beautifully the gifts of pure masculinity and pure femininity. Note that none of us is purely masculine or feminine; however, keeping this story in mind will help you understand our more basic biological differences. When we fully understand and accept these differences, we can avoid so many misunderstandings that create hurt, anger and resentments that lead to breakups and divorce.
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Belle Du Jour said:
I want to redo my wardrobe. I already wear dresses 99% of the time but I want more feminine silhouettes (A line instead of sheath/straight dresses; lace; bows; etc). Any ideas? I really like that 50s look. My friend loves mod cloth but they can be pricey.
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Wrap dresses!! I live for a wrap dress hunny!! They fit and flatter most if not every body type and you can often find them at various price points. I will routinely go to any department store website and search "wrap dress" to see what they have. However, MaggyLondon.com has some cute affordable ones if you are interested.
 
There is a new gent that I have recently re-connected with and he facetimes and/or calls every day without fail. I absolutely looooove how consistent he is and how he isnt afraid to pick up the phone. He provides a very comfortable space for me to be vulnerable and let my guard down. Its still early as it hasnt been quite a month yet, but I feel like I should give him some positive reinforcement by thanking him or letting him know how much I appreciate and adore his consistency. For context, he is in a residency program in MS, so he is long distance.

Any suggestions on verbiage I should use? He is coming to visit at the end of the month, so I can be more demonstrative then.
 
I need to re-read this thread. I started back in 2015, but I allowed my mother to influence me to stop. When I told her I was reading this thread and working on my femininity, she told me it was stupid and there was nothing feminine about me. Despite the fact that people have described me as proper and dainty.

So, this time around I'm going to do it and not tell anybody.
 
@Jade Feria what a lovely story, thank you for sharing. I've been slowly coming back to this information myself just due to a few life shifts that have been going on. I feel like my eyes have been reopened. Reading through this information periodically is probably a good idea for me.

I will add that the circle back started with an incident with a family member that I knew I needed to deal with. I believe in forgiveness but I didn't know how to, it was a big hurt. Anyway, what worked for me was to research "forgiveness" from sources I trust. So that lead me to several sermons on the subject from one of my favorite pastors. I'm still working through it but a huge weight did fall off my shoulders from a bunch of bad energy that I needed to purge. IIRC this thread circles many topics, from looking, thinking, speaking, acting feminine. One thing I've always taken away is that for me, I tap into that essence when I am at my most comfortable, confident and relaxed state of mind. Holding onto mental junk doesn't get me there.
 
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nerdography said:
I need to re-read this thread. I started back in 2015, but I allowed my mother to influence me to stop. When I told her I was reading this thread and working on my femininity, she told me it was stupid and there was nothing feminine about me. Despite the fact that people have described me as proper and dainty.

So, this time around I'm going to do it and not tell anybody.
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I'm sorry to hear that. Only you define who you are. Mothers typically do their best but sometimes they miss the mark.

I was cleaning out my old desk at work and I found a thank you note from an intern from maybe 6 or 7 years ago. I was going through so much turmoil personally back then, but she wrote that I really helped her know her self worth through her break-up and that I was the definition of a southern belle. I'm surprised at my old self that I was able to encourage someone else in the midst of my turmoil.

All that to say, your soul knows how to communicate who you are and that always cuts through any other noise. I usually notice your posts because I like the ponytail in your siggy and you've never come across abrasive in my opinion.
 
nerdography said:
I need to re-read this thread. I started back in 2015, but I allowed my mother to influence me to stop. When I told her I was reading this thread and working on my femininity, she told me it was stupid and there was nothing feminine about me. Despite the fact that people have described me as proper and dainty.

So, this time around I'm going to do it and not tell anybody.
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Oh no that is terrible. Why would she be trying to stop you from trying to explore this aspect of yourself? Do you think she was somehow threatened?
 
Flourishnikov said:
There is a new gent that I have recently re-connected with and he facetimes and/or calls every day without fail. I absolutely looooove how consistent he is and how he isnt afraid to pick up the phone. He provides a very comfortable space for me to be vulnerable and let my guard down. Its still early as it hasnt been quite a month yet, but I feel like I should give him some positive reinforcement by thanking him or letting him know how much I appreciate and adore his consistency. For context, he is in a residency program in MS, so he is long distance.

Any suggestions on verbiage I should use? He is coming to visit at the end of the month, so I can be more demonstrative then.
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You can say that. It's never too soon to show gratitude! Don't put too much thought into exact verbiage. Just express your appreciation and acknowledge his efforts.
nerdography said:
I need to re-read this thread. I started back in 2015, but I allowed my mother to influence me to stop. When I told her I was reading this thread and working on my femininity, she told me it was stupid and there was nothing feminine about me. Despite the fact that people have described me as proper and dainty.

So, this time around I'm going to do it and not tell anybody.
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Girl, do it!!

I remember you saying earlier in the thread that your grandmother and aunts went to etiquette school and were proper and feminine, but your mom was the opposite...or something like that. The thing about when we change or improve ourselves, is that it sometimes causes SOME people who are close to us to be reminded of their own limitations, and then they try to project those limitations upon us. The more we change, the more those people realize that they are staying the same, and they try to drag us down so they can be comfortable.
 
@Kimbosheart
Thank you. I try really hard to choose my word carefully, because I never want to insight anger or hurt someone's feelings. My mother on the other hand blurts things out, often inappropriate, and then gets upset when people don't agree with her or they get offended.

@SpeechieGirl
Maybe she is threatened, that would explain her behavior. My mother is the type of person that if something is true for her, then it's true for everyone. Since my mom isn't feminine and dainty, that means I'm not either. If something offends her, it also offends me. If she thinks something is stupid, I have to think it's stupid too. And if I don't agree with her, she gets upset. Since my mom's body is ruler shaped, that also means I'm ruler shaped, despite the fact that I'm actually pear shaped. And the body shape thing seems to be something that really bother her. Any chance she gets she tried to convince me that I have no hips or butt, it's really strange.

@Jade Feria
I think you might be right. There have been times in that past where I would share information with my mother on things I wanted to do and she would have some slick/snide remark to go along with it. Mainly, because it didn't fit her timeline in when she thought it should be done. So, I'm now working on making my moves in silence., I don't need her negativity.
 
Jade Feria said:
Oh, another thing! I'm reading Simply Feminine: Surprising Insights from Men by Morgan Wonderly, and the book opens with this wonderful allegory to explain masculinity and femininity and how they depend upon each other:
Click to expand...

I think I stumbled on the book that is from. Are you still reading it? The author suggests using a group to go through it? Would you mind if I bounced ideas from it off of you and discuss it?
 
Kimbosheart said:
I think I stumbled on the book that is from. Are you still reading it? The author suggests using a group to go through it? Would you mind if I bounced ideas from it off of you and discuss it?
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Yes, sounds good! I slipped for a few days, but I am reading it. On chapter 4 now.
 
Here's a silly little story and a word of wisdom. Being feminine requires you to not be in a rush and have some time to spare.

So yesterday the only time I left the house was to run to the store to pick up groceries for dinner and to have snacks on hand for my little cousins who were coming to visit. I was busy and tired Saturday so I procrastinated a bit on this errand. Anyway, in the spirit of this thread and the blissfully feminine book I was reading, I decided to put on a cute little sundress and my wedge heels. I powdered my face and applied some blush and lip gloss and let my hair down.... to go to the HEB around the corner. Supposedly I had a list of 10 things so I grabbed the smaller cart and proceeded to go completely off plan. I packed that cart full and had the nerve to get a case of water. Anyway this gentlemen helped me grab my water and we chatted for a bit but I had to rush because my guests were due to arrive any minute. I get in a checkout line and the same gentlemen comes up behind me. He compliments me and we chat for a minute. Then he looked at my groceries and offered to help me to my car when he was done checking out. So did the checkout boy. But I had to rush, my cousins had already arrived during this time. So I'm struggling in a dress and heels with too many groceries in a tiny cart and on top of that I didn't have the extra 10 minutes it would've taken up to accept the offers of help from kind gentlemen.

So if you're going to go through the effort, leave enough time in your day for the people who admire the results.
 
levette said:
Spinoff.. how do we help our younger girls ranging up to the 20s to be more feminine . I see some more young girls who at times look masculine and some refuse to wear skirts dresses or even fix their hair. I know it's a trend but it's like they have no motivation to look cute anymore
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I agree with this. One thread here made me think of my younger self. I got mt hair done biweekly, nails done biweekly, brows shaped biweekly clothes always together etc all when I was barely a teen. But somewhere I let myself go and I can't figure out how or why. But I am determined to get myself together now that I realize.
It's ironic because everyone describes me as girly but not necessarily feminine. And I'd rather be feminine lol
 
Chicoro said:
Someone mentioned Angelique Noire upthread. Here is her lovely instagram account. She is a professional model at a statuesque 5'10". So, she would look good in many things.

https://www.instagram.com/theblackpinup/

She's a model for PinUpGirlClothing:

https://www.pinupgirlclothing.com
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I love her Instagram. She was in this amazing romper the other day. And she looked amazing. I'm her height and I always feel like I can't wear them. She's one of my body inspirations
 
Kimbosheart said:
I love her Instagram. She was in this amazing romper the other day. And she looked amazing. I'm her height and I always feel like I can't wear them. She's one of my body inspirations
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I am SURE you can wear them. Order one and live a little. Play it safe at first. Wear it somewhere that you can feel "undercover" and not run in to someone you know. Then get a little braver the next time.

Yes, I saw that video. She is in Florence, Italy, in some small walkway, with concave streets that are made to catch the rain, looking ultra sexy in that Romper.


Tag! Your IT, @Kimbosheart. It's YOUR turn! Stop covering that extraordinary light bulb sunshine with some cloth so as not to burn somebody else's eyes with your brilliance and shine and greatness. If they don't like it, let 'em put on some sunglasses or look away. WEAR that romper!
 
Jade Feria said:
@Kimbosheart are you still reading Simply Feminine? I just finished it the other day.

Taking full advantage of my Kindle Unlimited membership, I'm now reading Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood: How to Unlock All the Love and Tenderness in Your Husband (/Man on cover art). Loving it so far!
Amazon product ASIN B00BJ6KM0W
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I am reading it. I'm just going slowly. So far I like it. One thing I immediately noticed is that I don't accept help from men as often as I should. See the earlier example when I was rushed but now I'm thinking back to all the times throughout the day men offer to help me. I need to do better
 
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