This is a weird conversation I had.
Guy: Do men hate women or do they just hate women that take on male traits
Me: Any man that hates women is not a man at all. Or at least he is not a masculine man. A masculine man loves women. They balance him out and truly when they work together create a beautiful picture.
Guy:I understand what youre saying but dont get lost on the word hate. When do women take accountability
Me: When do women take accountability for men hating them? Never. Women can't control how a man feels. They can only modify THEIR actions. Likewise for men.
Guy:This is why men have to be careful how they talk to women when they're trying to have a real conversation. Because yall will get LOST on a word
Me: Not at all. I’m not lost. I was direct. Men do not hate women. I answered the question. Do you hate me?
Guy: I dont hate anyone beautiful
Me: Exactly. Eres un hombre
Guy: Eres una mujer hermosa
Now tell me if I’m reaching. I feel like he was trying to MAKE me argue. Which In Turn makes me sound very hard sounding and masculine. Because the typical answer would have the woman “dogging” these type of men. The. His rebuttal might be that women’s action “make” men hate them. Then of course they don’t like these type of women. BUT If you’re not that type of man (and he is not) why did you even ask this question?! Am I reaching?
I think I did good answering this question by deflecting. I’m trying to learn how not to go back and forth and ignore argumentative discussions like this. BUT I fell into the trap later.
He started another debate with me that if Ex DH wanted to get DS and he just popped up at my house to get him would I keep him from his son. I said him not respecting my boundaries would keep him from his son and not I. He said oh so you have to have it your way right. Don’t you think this is controlling? And I said no but if he cared so much to have his son he would have kept his family together to see his wife and son everyday so him not being able to follow boundaries is not of my concern. Plus him thinking he still has certain privledge when he is no longer my husband is controlling. Call it what you want to.
@hopeful why would he ask questions like this? Are these red flags?
@Zaynab how in the world do you navigate stuff like this. It seems like I feel cornered a lot by men into discussion like this.