52 Weeks Towards Divine Femininity

[Sosoothing]

@Maracujá

I made that statement in a general sense if that makes sense.


I forgot to say even though it's considered unladylike, your SO was out of line. You should feel free with an SO to let loose and not always worry about being 'perfect' when it comes to some things in my opinion. If anything, I think he should have encouraged you to enjoy your evening as much as you could. Even if it meant getting another helping of food if that was what made you happy at the time.

 

[Sosoothing]

When I tell you that your whole post is my entire frame of mind, I MEAN IT. But I keep getting shut down because of it, not so much in friendships, but in romantic relationships. Personally, I've always just wanted to be completely spiritually naked in a relationship and I thought that was the point of it: your safeguard away from the hectic world. The whole idea of walking on eggshells at the workplace, in the world AND at home does not appeal to me at all. As a Christian it reminds me of the Pharisees, they had all these rules that they adhered to, but they didn't have life nor real faith.

We posted at the same time..lol. I agree.

DH took me dancing this weekend. We danced so hard and so long, I took my shoes off. Some men may have looked down on it but I didn't care and I didn't have to worry about him thinking I was embarrassing him.
Like I said, I love food and boy can I eat. You should seriously see how much I put away. A couple of times servers have even (rudely) commented they haven't had customers who finish the whole dish or all courses before Lol. Through God's grace, my spouse delights in seeing me enjoying my food and is happy I'm free enough to eat and not pretend a light salad is enough. Maybe culture makes a difference. I don't know. Regardless, you are right, the right man will love and accept you just the way you are.

 

[Dee-Licious]

@Maracujá

I made that statement in a general sense if that makes sense.


I forgot to say even though it's considered unladylike, your SO was out of line. You should feel free with an SO to let lose and not always worry about being 'perfect' when it comes to some things in my opinion. If anything, I think he should have encouraged you to enjoy your evening as much as you could. Even if it meant getting another helping of food if that was what made you happy at the time.

Yes, this. His response was way over the top. @Maracujá

Uncouth it might be, but I'll order another of something if I want to or not when I'm with DH or by myself.... just in the early "getting to know you" dating stage, it might be something you think about that.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Same here: love love love to read. My mom almost had a fit when she saw that I had a bunch of books in lieu of a television set. Great thing about living in my neighborhood is that I live nearby one of my favorite bookshops, which is also one of the best in my area anyway. I try to alternate between buying books online and visiting brick and mortar bookshops.

On topic now: this week's challenge is right on time. Last week I was thinking about a particular situation that occurred 13 years ago, when I was in an abusive relationship. The guy was upper middle class whereas I'm working class. We went to eat at a restaurant and I enjoyed the food so much, that I wanted seconds. He got upset and said that this is absolutely not done in this culture. I asked for seconds anyway and watched as he walked away from me and left me there alone. It was very embarrassing. In terms of feminine refinement: is it uncouth to ask for seconds at a non-buffet restaurant? Y'all can be honest with me.

If the food is good, and I’m still hungry, I’d likely do the same thing. He was absolutely out of line for what he did.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

I am a self-professed queen of leisure. I love to read. I usually read a book that ived checked out from the library along with 2-3 free iBooks a week. Yes, a week. I do jigsaw puzzles. I watch YouTube makeup tutorials. I try to go to the gym 3 times a week and I love sitting out in my backyard with a book and a cold drink. I was thinking of picking up another book by Octavia E Butler but idk if the content is what I’m looking for right now.
I’ll have to find some other books for now.

I forgot to mention naps. I will get off work and take a nap before going to the gym or cooking.

 

[Dee-Licious]

My leisure time rotates between reading, sewing, and catching up on shows on DVR/Netflix.

I make sure to take time to myself. If I'm tired, I give myself a chance to rest. That's about the one thing I am truly consistent in is taking time for myself.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I am a self-professed queen of leisure. I love to read. I usually read a book that ived checked out from the library along with 2-3 free iBooks a week. Yes, a week. I do jigsaw puzzles. I watch YouTube makeup tutorials. I try to go to the gym 3 times a week and I love sitting out in my backyard with a book and a cold drink. I was thinking of picking up another book by Octavia E Butler but idk if the content is what I’m looking for right now.
I’ll have to find some other books for now.

I forgot to mention naps. I will get off work and take a nap before going to the gym or cooking.

I’m going to get like you! I’m going to read one of the books @cam2717 was talking about now!

 

[awhyley]

___________________________

Week 23 Challenge
1. Name 3 books you intend to read that are not self-help books. Specifically read for leisure
2. What are you doing in your leisure time? Make a plan to pencil in leisure time each day. Bath time? Read a book for 20 minutes a day? Walk a mile or two? Sit on the beach? Play in the garden? Brunch with some friends? Play on a playground? Work on adopting a child like spirit.

What does having a child-like spirit have to do with anything?

 

[PrissiSippi]

What does having a child-like spirit have to do with anything?

Coming from the point of think about when we were children. We had a lot of time for leisure. We were child like being that we were care free, in tuned to our needs, and even when life knocked us down we still got back up and dusted ourselves off and continued with life. We colored, played outside, talked to friends in the rain sleet or snow. We took care of ourselves first

I didn’t go in depth but you’re right. I think that adopting a child like approach should be a separate topic. It kinda flows Into this week’s task, but it’s a whole new approach. Thank you.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I started back reading The Thing Around Her Neck by Chimamanda (the girl that talks on the Beyoncé Flawless song)

Lol I read this one story and was sooo tickled last night lol. I shared it with a friend so that was a different conversation than the normal.

It’s kinda nice to be able to talk about something new.

 

[PrissiSippi]

https://fascinatingwomanhood.com/bl...d-mini-class-why-is-childlikeness-so-powerful

Just for future references this is more on adopting a feminine child like spirit

 

[CurliDiva]

Same here: love love love to read. My mom almost had a fit when she saw that I had a bunch of books in lieu of a television set. Great thing about living in my neighborhood is that I live nearby one of my favorite bookshops, which is also one of the best in my area anyway. I try to alternate between buying books online and visiting brick and mortar bookshops.

On topic now: this week's challenge is right on time. Last week I was thinking about a particular situation that occurred 13 years ago, when I was in an abusive relationship. The guy was upper middle class whereas I'm working class. We went to eat at a restaurant and I enjoyed the food so much, that I wanted seconds. He got upset and said that this is absolutely not done in this culture. I asked for seconds anyway and watched as he walked away from me and left me there alone. It was very embarrassing. In terms of feminine refinement: is it uncouth to ask for seconds at a non-buffet restaurant? Y'all can be honest with me.

@Maracujá, Did you skip a meal before the date and was overly hungry? When you say seconds, do you mean that you ordered an extra entree or main course? So, was he supposed to just sit there and watch you eat another meal? Sorry but this is not proper dining behavior for a male or female and definitely not considerate of your dinner companion. Was this a first date?

I'm assuming that you both were young and therefore inexperienced.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Quick check in. Hello all! I’m hoping all is well with you all on your feminine journey.

In the coming weeks, what all do you need from the challenge? Is it anything we need to back track and revisit? Some examples are:
-Buying Flowers
- Keeping a Clean House
-Cooking and Plating
- Having spouse
-Protecting your Peace
- Creating and Maintaining Rituals

How is everything coming along so far. Are you revisiting past week’s topics and polishing your femininity by practicing these practices at least weekly?

 

[snoop]

Quick check in. Hello all! I’m hoping all is well with you all on your feminine journey.

In the coming weeks, what all do you need from the challenge? Is it anything we need to back track and revisit? Some examples are:
-Buying Flowers
- Keeping a Clean House
-Cooking and Plating
- Having spouse
-Protecting your Peace
- Creating and Maintaining Rituals

How is everything coming along so far. Are you revisiting past week’s topics and polishing your femininity by practicing these practices at least weekly?

I'm still going at my own pace with this thread... I think that things will click better next year. I'm not in the head space where I am fully receiving some of this information and in other cases, trying to execute is time that I really don't have at the moment. I'm learning though.

I'm going to study plating more -- but I'll have to wait until I can have time to execute to really be able to practice. Having dinner on my white plates makes me happy, though. And because I like to think out loud the kids are more receptive when I do try -- because I told them what I'm doing, they know what to look for and then they express their appreciation for my efforts.

The one that I'm still trying to work on is talking sweetly and not raising my voice to be heard. It's hard when you're outnumbered, but it will come as they get older.

I've slacked HARD on my appearance this year, though. I'm not sure what happened (other than fatigue). But now that I know that I can do better, not doing better is making me down. I to remember to plan to work, then work the plan -- it's already planned so I just have to work it. Other things in my life have been coming together nicely, so doing these two things would be the icing on the cake and I think would propel me forward, even quicker.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Quick check in. Hello all! I’m hoping all is well with you all on your feminine journey.

In the coming weeks, what all do you need from the challenge? Is it anything we need to back track and revisit? Some examples are:
-Buying Flowers
- Keeping a Clean House
-Cooking and Plating
- Having spouse
-Protecting your Peace
- Creating and Maintaining Rituals

How is everything coming along so far. Are you revisiting past week’s topics and polishing your femininity by practicing these practices at least weekly?

I think I’m doing well.
The quote “one is not born, but rather becomes a woman” is my motto.

Sn I fell down the seraseven1 rabbit hole last night. She is hilarious but so on point- from what I saw. I only looked at her shorter videos.

 

[Maracujá]

@Maracujá, Did you skip a meal before the date and was overly hungry? When you say seconds, do you mean that you ordered an extra entree or main course? So, was he supposed to just sit there and watch you eat another meal? Sorry but this is not proper dining behavior for a male or female and definitely not considerate of your dinner companion. Was this a first date?

I'm assuming that you both were young and therefore inexperienced.

I'd rather not further discuss it, I'm with Nija when it comes to my views. But everyone is entitled to their own opinion of course. Thank you for your input, God bless.

 

[Supervixen]

Hi beauties!!!


I joined SheraSeven1’s private group this weekend. They are going down the sugar baby road, but I think the sugar baby game keeps women from picking “dusty” men. So even if you don’t want an old man, sugar baby game will help you find a suitable similar aged dude.

They also do live makeup tutorials and critique each others’ daily make up looks. It is reminiscent of a more interactive LHCF. I like that she pushes classy makeup and hair IS a way to level up your looks.

I need to incorporate more leisure time and keeping my beauty appointments. But that’s a personal issue that will be mitigated once the girls are older. I’ve accepted that my personal time is limited until they’re in school.

 

[hopeful]

Yes, this. His response was way over the top. @Maracujá

Uncouth it might be, but I'll order another of something if I want to or not when I'm with DH or by myself.... just in the early "getting to know you" dating stage, it might be something you think about that.

If the food is good, and I’m still hungry, I’d likely do the same thing. He was absolutely out of line for what he did.

@Maracujá

Couth or uncouth is a matter of perspective and situation.

The guy didn’t have to react the way he did. He could have taken pleasure in the fact that you enjoyed the place he brought you to. That he introduced you to an experience new to you. Ordered you several new dishes to either take or deliver to your place.

Instead he power tripped and decided to play games. He did one of those neg-hit things those wanna be players are taught to do to gain the psychological upper hand when dating.

He was a jerk. He didn’t have to embarrass u like that.

ETA: If he wanted someone who know all the rules of this UE circle, then he should have dated his own kind from the get-go.

@Maracujá

I agree with all of the above ladies. I want a guy who enjoys seeing me happy. I am pretty feminine and lady-like, but I am fully human and want to eat extra sometimes, feel delighted and sometimes do things that other ladies might frown upon. My life is about me. Your life is about you. I play by most of the rules but in the end I make my rules for my life. I don’t need anyone telling me how to behave. I’m good. And I notice oftentimes men with strict rules for us in reality have little discipline and don’t hold themselves to those rules. So meh, good for you.

 

[Supervixen]

@Maracujá

I agree with all of the above ladies. I want a guy who enjoys seeing me happy. I am pretty feminine and lady-like, but I am fully human and want to eat extra sometimes, feel delighted and sometimes do things that other ladies might frown upon. My life is about me. Your life is about you. I play by most of the rules but in the end I make my rules for my life. I don’t need anyone telling me how to behave. I’m good. And I notice oftentimes men with strict rules for us in reality have little discipline and don’t hold themselves to those rules. So meh, good for you.

So true! Never thought about it like this.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I'd rather not further discuss it, I'm with Nija when it comes to my views. But everyone is entitled to their own opinion of course. Thank you for your input, God bless.

I really like how you responded. I’m trying to work on responding like this myself on my social media platforms. It’s been going well so far. Thank you for modeling that for me/us in the challenge. Be blessed beloved!

 

[PrissiSippi]

So true! Never thought about it like this.

Yup like those Penacostal men and many other religions. Religions often put strict rules on females on how they should dress and present themselves, but anything goes for them. I learn dining etiquette and basic etiquette for MYSELF, but not necessarily to impress a man.

This goes back to my thought that this challenge is for WOMEN to improve their personal development. The focus should not be on obtaining a man. WE come first is my sentiments.

 

[Maracujá]

I really like how you responded. I’m trying to work on responding like this myself on my social media platforms. It’s been going well so far. Thank you for modeling that for me/us in the challenge. Be blessed beloved!

Thank you! Just don't see the point of hammering on it, this is my idea of love:



Apparently it was possible in yesteryears, but not in the most technologically advanced age. So be it.

A great book I would recommend for better communication, is this one:



It costs $5,00 and is only 36 pages. It's written from a Biblical perspective, but I really think it could help anyone. Haven't finished reading it yet, but it's already helping me in my workplace, with family-members, friends and other settings.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Apparently it was possible in yesteryears, but not in the most technologically advanced age. So be it.

It’s still possible!

Thanks for the book recommendation. I’m going to look for it.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Thank you! Just don't see the point of hammering on it, this is my idea of love:

View attachment 431139

Apparently it was possible in yesteryears, but not in the most technologically advanced age. So be it.

A great book I would recommend for better communication, is this one:

View attachment 431141

It costs $5,00 and is only 36 pages. It's written from a Biblical perspective, but I really think it could help anyone. Haven't finished reading it yet, but it's already helping me in my workplace, with family-members, friends and other settings.

Ro’s sentiments on keeping it short and sweet and direct with people is that you don’t argue because the other person’s views will never change. You let them come to you if they want/need more information. They may not be at the proper consciousness level to process what you are saying. Other than that you state what is your perspective but once you see it is going to turn into a back and forth match, you retreat to keep your peace and keep your femininity.

Christlelyn Kerazin touches on not getting involved in anything debatable like politics or religion (or even reposting this stuff on your social media) because it makes you argumentative and hardened on the inside which in turn decreases your femininity.

I can understand both viewpoints.

I am curious what is the reasoning presented in this book on not arguing or going back and forth? Could you please tell us?

 

[PrissiSippi]

Kinda related to responding with tact and strong boundaries.

Once a girl tried to argue with me on my page. I responded:

My wall is not a Democracy; it's a Monarchy. Welcome to the Queendom! If you don't like/agree with what I post, it's NOT necessary to let ME know ‍ Just unfollow/scroll past. It can be your New Year Resolution! Happy New Year!

The person responded again Snappy and I just responded: Blocked. Thank you for visiting the queendom

No back and forth needed. No changing my mood. No anger. Just it is what it is and if u choose to act xyz you are blocked. It sounds silly but that was truly a game changer for me.

It’s Block History Month every day lol

 

[snoop]

Ro’s sentiments on keeping it short and sweet and direct with people is that you don’t argue because the other person’s views will never change. You let them come to you if they want/need more information. They may not be at the proper consciousness level to process what you are saying. Other than that you state what is your perspective but once you see it is going to turn into a back and forth match, you retreat to keep your peace and keep your femininity.

Christlelyn Kerazin touches on not getting involved in anything debatable like politics or religion (or even reposting this stuff on your social media) because it makes you argumentative and hardened on the inside which in turn decreases your femininity.

I can understand both viewpoints.

I am curious what is the reasoning presented in this book on not arguing or going back and forth? Could you please tell us?

IMO, I don't think it's a femininity thing vs smart social politics (for both men and women). To me, there is a difference in debating because you are taking an emotional standpoint vs being cerebral. Also, sometimes debating is healthy for understanding and opening up to other points of view (e.g. philosophy). Do any of these feminine women address these differences or are you supposed to just shut down at all times? (Real question.)

Kinda related to responding with tact and strong boundaries.

Once a girl tried to argue with me on my page. I responded:

My wall is not a Democracy; it's a Monarchy. Welcome to the Queendom! If you don't like/agree with what I post, it's NOT necessary to let ME know ‍ Just unfollow/scroll past. It can be your New Year Resolution! Happy New Year!

The person responded again Snappy and I just responded: Blocked. Thank you for visiting the queendom

No back and forth needed. No changing my mood. No anger. Just it is what it is and if u choose to act xyz you are blocked. It sounds silly but that was truly a game changer for me.

It’s Block History Month every day lol

I was having a conversation with my husband about something (loosely) similar this weekend -- but not saying anything at all would have probably been stronger than responding both times (and continuing the argument). The absence of a response is still a response. No need to tell someone that you're running a Monarchy or that you're blocking them. It kind of makes you sound petty. Just ignore them or block them. Not sure about the US, but here businesses do check your fb page, so treat it as though it is YOUR personal business page. If you insist on leaving a digital mark, make it one that you would be able to show off to anyone at any time.

 

[PrissiSippi]

IMO, I don't think it's a femininity thing vs smart social politics (for both men and women). To me, there is a difference in debating because you are taking an emotional standpoint vs being cerebral. Also, sometimes debating is healthy for understanding and opening up to other points of view (e.g. philosophy). Do any of these feminine women address these differences or are you supposed to just shut down at all times? (Real question.)

Yes they always address the differences however the idea is to state your point of view and keep it moving. If someone sincerely ask for clarification or more I formation you can give it to them because they genuinely wish to seek more information. To snarky or disrespectful people you respond...silently and or remove the comment because the negative energy kind of acts like a magnet and attracts you and your sruement to negative information that often causes you to lose the true meaning or significance of the first said point.






I was having a conversation with my husband about something (loosely) similar this weekend -- but not saying anything at all would have probably been stronger than responding both times (and continuing the argument). The absence of a response is still a response. No need to tell someone that you're running a Monarchy or that you're blocking them. It kind of makes you sound petty. Just ignore them or block them. Not sure about the US, but here businesses do check your fb page, so treat it as though it is YOUR personal business page. If you insist on leaving a digital mark, make it one that you would be able to show off to anyone at any time.

Yes they always address the differences however the idea is to state your point of view and keep it moving. If someone sincerely ask for clarification or more I formation you can give it to them because they genuinely wish to seek more information. To snarky or disrespectful people you respond...silently and or remove the comment because the negative energy kind of acts like a magnet and attracts you and your sruement to negative information that often causes you to lose the true meaning or significance of the first said point.

You said a mouthful right there. I totally agree. However even as small as it may be...in the back of my head that will be a moment of growth for me. In a few months or next year my page may look very different from what it looks like right now, but that was the first step in feeling like I honestly have the ability to control everything in MY life. And not feel bad for wanting to make boundaries and protect my peace.

 

[PrissiSippi]

These smell soooo vibrant as compared to my usual flowers. I’m in love with how they really brighten up a room. I may have to get a real plant like this. Some of the bulbs have not fully come out yet. I feel like it’s so symbolic. Every flower blooms in its own due time. Happy Sunday to my feminine beauties.

OAN: I’m incorporating non sexual touch into when Inask for something. I know it’s a myriad of reasons why I got these flowers but I sweetly touched his arm and back and leaned in to say (of course in my really seeet voice) I want these flowers and even though I know he didn’t get the point....there was no hesitation. I got the flowers.

I did it again because I wanted a mini shopping spree. It was a slight hesitation but in the end my result was the same...I got what I wanted. I’ma keep working on this concept.

 

[Maracujá]

About last week's challenge: An ex co-worker and I decided to attend Natural Hair Academy 2018 this year, in Paris. We had been planning for it since January of this year, but all fell into place at the last minute. It was really great, we had tons of fun and laughter!

The place was so idyllic, it was at the Parc Floral de Paris, had never been there before. So I'm trying to travel more for leisure. Even just walks in my own city do the work for me. Really trying to make it a habit, hence this Paris journal, which I've already been able to use twice in the last two years, yay!

My friend really loved it, she's a wife and mom of two boys, so this was the perfect getaway for her. She enjoyed it so much and really came to rest. The day after, I snapped these shots of my goddaughter/niece:

She said it made her feel like a princess . Love looking at these pics while listening to to India Arie's Beautiful Flower.

 

[PrissiSippi]

@Maracujá such beautiful pictures!!