2019 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

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I’ve been looking at plating pictures from my favorite steakhouse. I made lemon garlic shrimp from fresh garlic and lemons and I paired with a brown sugar/Dijon mustard salmon and wild rice with asparagus for vegetables. It was sooo yummy but I didn’t get any plating pics. However, I fell asleep sooo fast after eating and drinking my wine. I stayed sleep for two hours. I didn’t feel bad about it at all. I was able to be more productive because of it. I reorganized my kitchen and packed baby boy’s small clothes away. He’s growing soooo fast.
 

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How to Increase Your Ability to REST/Relaxation (2nd Pillar of Femininity)

1. Understand that there is both feminine and masculine energy. Feminine energy is focused on BEING but masculine energy is focused on DOING. When we complete tasks, nurture our family, run errands, and etc. that's actually us being in our masculine energy. In this challenge, we focus on being in the feminine energy MORE than the masculine. This means taking time to just BE.
2. Unplug yourself. Turn off the TV and phone. Allow yourself to truly rest and just BE by doing this. Take a nap. Play. Have fun. Rest your minf.
3. Say affirmations that reinforce your need for rest.
  • I am deserving of rest.
  • I am a human being, not a human doing.
  • Each and every day I allow my heart and mind rest for awhile. Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes....including myself.
  • When I sleep, sit still, or daydream, I’m still a precious and complex mystery of life.
4. Practice minimizing guilt. You don't have to be productive all that time.
5. Set an alarm. Set a mini habit to take time to rest each day. You can come up with the time that's sufficient for you. After you get the habit in, you will feel more at ease on resting as needed.
6. Set up boundaries. Lock yourself out. Close the door when you're dressing. Lock the door when you're in the tub or bathroom. Leave the children with the husband/grandparents each week to rest. Pick up the children late from daycare. Just Do It. Make sure YOU have some time to retract from the world and REST. No excuses.

In what ways could you make more SPACE for you to rest?
 
To polish my femininity, I've been putting on a full face of makeup, perfume, and nice clothes each and every day even if it means I'm just going to be lounging around the house. In the evenings, I have a nighttime routine of taking a long bath, removing my makeup, lounging around in my silk robe, and putting on nice moisturizing lotion on my whole body while listening to music. Even with six-month-old, I have been making time for ME by setting my alarm. I'm finding that the times I DON'T do this routine, I'm on edge and now able to give to everyone as I should. Making it intentional has really helped me.
 
In what ways could you make more SPACE for you to rest?

Turning off my phone for the evening by 8:30 and making time to do something more relaxing like reading, meditating, or taking a nice bath. I have a hard time winding down.

Will continue to incorporate yoga 2-3x per week to give my body some much needed rest and stretching.
 
I can make more space for me to rest by saying “no” more often and addressing any feelings of guilt I may have about saying no. Instead, I will remind myself that I deserve to relax (and not as a reward for completing a task). I don’t need or want to work hard, and that’s not something I should be ashamed of
 
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Ladies,

One pillar of femininity is to REST. Once you rest you create the space for you to be able to REJUVENATE yourself by polishing your femininity.

Men do not deny themselves anything! They “polish their masculinity” everyday. They don’t EVER deny themselves. They don't deny themselves of ME time because of children, their job, their wife, God...NOTHING. They will still get their workouts in, still get in time with their boys, find money for Xbox games, expensive gyms, hard to find beer/alcohol and etc. I have never seen a man deny himself of anything either. Not time, money...nothing!

Because of this, how are you NOT denying yourself by polishing your femininity today?
So true! Was one of the things I really reflected on. Why was I making sacrifices and denying myself? Was it because of religious beliefs? Insecurity?
Well anyway, I don’t do that anymore.
I do miss my tub. We sold our home and moved into an apartment. No matter how often and thoroughly I clean this tub, I cannot take a bath.
But other than that, I rest. A midday nap, a nap at work. Doing nothing at home... all of that.
I’m reading the subtle art of not giving a f and it is helping my rest at work...
 
I can make more space by simply not doing. Just resting. My biggest issue is I’m always doing and it’s to not think I guess. Working more on resting, I can focus on thinking and the thoughts I’m avoiding or thinking too much. Then practice resting my mind, because when I have I’m the past, I’ve felt better. Last, by resting, I can focus on feeling and feeling better.
 
This morning I woke up and you know what I thanked god for? Getting enough rest. Almost had a breakdown today at work (lol because it wasn’t serious, I was just stressed at donkey people and annoyed) but that set my entire mood. I truly gave zero farts today because I woke up truly feeling enough and led the day with it.
 
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I make more space for resting by not feeling pressure for everything to be perfect in my home. For instance, if I don't feel like cooking and would rather relax, I do and we just eat out.

I also I make a deliberate effort to not use my phone or tablet for certain periods of time during the day and at night. I find it mentally rejuvenating.

I take naps in the afternoon sometimes. I took a nap today and felt refreshed when I woke up.
 
Resting is very important to me, learned it the hard way after a burn out + mental illness. So resting and relaxing is actually part of my healing process. Got off work yesterday at 5pm, enjoyed chatting a little with my co-workers then went home. On the bus I came up with this meal, even though I had initially decided to order in:

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Nothing special, but I was able to make it special. The leftover salad is what I'll have for breakfast on Monday morning - hope it's still good by then :look: :lol:.

Enjoyed this delicious meal yesterday and ordered Michelle Obama's book, will pick it up on Monday nearby my job. It could've been delivered today at my home, but I want to teach myself patience instead of instant gratification.

I'm off on Thursdays and could potentially get a day off next Wednesday, so I've already booked my ticket back from The Netherlands, where I will be headed to celebrate my nephew's 1st birthday. I've also spent the past 2 weeks at home, enjoying family&friends:

49091436_1043367945852555_4876368222766497792_n.jpg

Been single for so long, but didn't really take advantage of the freedom it offers: so this past Thursday I surprised my other nephew and my brother on their birthdays. I literally spent the whole day traveling by train, it was fun. Was also able to do some shopping as sales have started, found a nice outfit for work & church. Ate at this very nice restaurant called Boulevard:

IMG_0815%202_zpsvsxh3kjf.jpg


Saw the menu and told the waitress (who happened to be a beautiful Black woman): "I'll have the salad with the meat, please."

Her response: "Madam, you can have all three: the shrimps, the smoked salmon and the meat." Well, well, well,...:lol:

Two Black men were sitting across from me, as Hasselt is near the border with The Netherlands, where a lot of Black people reside. One of them just kept staring at me the whole time, they love it when we simply are BEING + ENJOYING ourselves :yep:.
 
I make more space for resting by not feeling pressure for everything to be perfect in my home. For instance, if I don't feel like cooking and would rather relax, I do and we just eat out.

I also I make a deliberate effort to not use my phone or tablet for certain periods of time during the day and at night. I find it mentally rejuvenating.

I take naps in the afternoon sometimes. I took a nap today and felt refreshed when I woke up.

@Sosoothing, good for you! My husband had been encouraging me to relax and not worry about keeping the house very clean or cooking especially with our now toddler - I finally took him up in the offer and he helped clean and has been cooking. It felt really good to receive it instead of holding myself to those standards that are no longer feasible to my current lifestyle. I don’t know why I fought him for years in this.

Another thing I’d been doing is taking a nap before picking up my daughter from daycare.

I need to work on minimizing phone use though
 
What are some feminine role models in the media that depict when the girl is into her zone, loves herself, and into her feminine energy she wins?

That would be Teyonah Parris for me. She's not extremely famous, which is perfect! Given some photos I've seen of her parents, I think they instilled good values in her also. In all areas I believe, I never hear drama from her.



She often looks like royalty:

Teyonah+Parris+Dresses+Skirts+Mermaid+Gown+pt6SrCpcGOvl.jpg
 
I make more space for resting by not feeling pressure for everything to be perfect in my home. For instance, if I don't feel like cooking and would rather relax, I do and we just eat out.

I also I make a deliberate effort to not use my phone or tablet for certain periods of time during the day and at night. I find it mentally rejuvenating.

I take naps in the afternoon sometimes. I took a nap today and felt refreshed when I woke up.

We are H E R E. Last year I learned how to plate our food and I really took a lot of pride in doing this. Now I’ve made a shift to being strategically selfish. I still plate our food and cook, but I realize that everyday I’m not up to it...and that’s okay. These days, I allow myself to rest and let hubby order take out for us. It’s all about balance.
 
It very important and wise to experiment and have fun in our feminine energies. Make a mini list of things you would like to do that you’ve never done. Wine tasting? Snorkeling? Kayaking? Joining a book club? Have fun and radiate all that feminine energy! Happy Saturday Feminine Ladies
 
I’m watching I Feel Bad (season 1 ep2) and it’s a prime example of what happens when you don’t say no and are just always in your masculine energy.
 
It very important and wise to experiment and have fun in our feminine energies. Make a mini list of things you would like to do that you’ve never done. Wine tasting? Snorkeling? Kayaking? Joining a book club? Have fun and radiate all that feminine energy! Happy Saturday Feminine Ladies

Last year I tried (hot) yoga for the first time. Yoga is so relaxing. Who knew! :look: I also tried a Russian sauna and a bath bomb.

Off the top of my head, this year I'd like to try a Korean spa and reiki. I also purchased some bath tea which I need to make time for (never tried them before).
 
I am making more space for me by taking time away from the family to spend on me. So far I have done little things such as getting a facial, manicure and meeting a friend for dinner. I plan to look at the calendar every month and book one appointment each week that relaxes me. I also plan to set one date with a girlfriend every week.
 
Ladies,

One pillar of femininity is to REST. Once you rest you create the space for you to be able to REJUVENATE yourself by polishing your femininity.

Men do not deny themselves anything! They “polish their masculinity” everyday. They don’t EVER deny themselves. They don't deny themselves of ME time because of children, their job, their wife, God...NOTHING. They will still get their workouts in, still get in time with their boys, find money for Xbox games, expensive gyms, hard to find beer/alcohol and etc. I have never seen a man deny himself of anything either. Not time, money...nothing!

Because of this, how are you NOT denying yourself by polishing your femininity today?
This is very true. My DH has no problem spending all of his Sundays watching football.

I am a new mom with a newborn and I promised that I will never deny myself of my me time when I need it. I’m still on maternity leave so I spend all day at home with our new baby. She insists on being held at all times so it can be a little exhausting- even taking a nap is difficult to do. Yesterday I told DH that he is on baby duty. It was only meant to be for a few hours but I ended up having the whole day. I spent the day exactly how I wanted it. I took a rejuvenating nap, watched YouTube videos, made my goals for the year, worked on my planner, and went to buy supplies for my planner. It was great. I plan to have several me time hours every Saturday!
 
This is very true. My DH has no problem spending all of his Sundays watching football.

I am a new mom with a newborn and I promised that I will never deny myself of my me time when I need it. I’m still on maternity leave so I spend all day at home with our new baby. She insists on being held at all times so it can be a little exhausting- even taking a nap is difficult to do. Yesterday I told DH that he is on baby duty. It was only meant to be for a few hours but I ended up having the whole day. I spent the day exactly how I wanted it. I took a rejuvenating nap, watched YouTube videos, made my goals for the year, worked on my planner, and went to buy supplies for my planner. It was great. I plan to have several me time hours every Saturday!
@PeaceLover can probably chime in on how in the world she is doing this because she really does make sure she has a LOT of scheduled me time in her day with her little one.
 
I am making more space for me by taking time away from the family to spend on me. So far I have done little things such as getting a facial, manicure and meeting a friend for dinner. I plan to look at the calendar every month and book one appointment each week that relaxes me. I also plan to set one date with a girlfriend every week.
I need to work on doing more things OUTSIDE of the house such as getting a facial and keeping my nails done. I think I go out to eat with friends often though. I’m going to try to pencil it in my calendar for this month.
 
Last year I tried (hot) yoga for the first time. Yoga is so relaxing. Who knew! :look: I also tried a Russian sauna and a bath bomb.

Off the top of my head, this year I'd like to try a Korean spa and reiki. I also purchased some bath tea which I need to make time for (never tried them before).
Ooh I’m going to have to google hot yoga.
 
I’m going to add patience to my list. Here’s an issue I have:

Things like “beauty” I pick and choose what I make time for. My eyebrows I “find” time for and it’s not good so thing is a goal of mine. I make time to do my hair, laundry, even buy my groceries and coffee while doing laundry, but eyebrows? I squeeze in there somewhere. Then because I’m so impatient, I go to anyone instead of the person I want, get upset, wait a month and learn temporarily. I need change this. My goal this year is to finally stick with the same lady :rofl:
 
Participants -
@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@kupenda
@Akemi
@shermeezy
@LadyPBC
@Black Ambrosia
@so_stush
@shawnyblazes




Recap

Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner
Week 2: Be more Present.

Week 2: Be more present.

To be truly healthy and live in line with nature, we need to cultivate our femininity. BUT It's hard to do this if we are constantly thinking about the past. What happened last year? Could I have done it differently? Or in the future such as When is my blessing going to come? I wonder what tomorrow will be like.

SLOW DOWN.

It is a beautiful experience when a woman can just be present and have no agenda other than enjoying life at any given moment. This is a rare quality that will make men very intrigued and set you apart from others. Because of this, men will naturally think more about you when you are not around.

Turn the phone off. Turn the TV laptop and tablets off. Choose human interactions with people you love instead. Be present. Slow down your walk and talk. Shine like a star and radiate your light. How do you FEEL when doing this?

Go on a walk (without looking at your phone). Take it all in. Feel the brisk wind on your face. Let your heart feel happy while playing with your children.

Hold your child and read a book. How does it feel to be able to do this?

Cuddle and watch a movie (without answering your phone).

When you meet with your friends turn off your phone and give them your undivided attention.

When you go walking, listen to music is fine but be present. Take a moment to look at your surroundings. What new that you see?

When you are at a dinner party talk to your guests and just be instead of checking the phone. If you expect a phone call excuse yourself to the bathroom or etc.

When you're in a room (even with friends) and men walk into the room, be present and turn your eyes to them and ask them if they need anything.

When your children come home from school tune in for a minute. Play with them. Play hide and go seek. Get off the phone. Ask what they did today. Give them 30 minutes of uninterrupted time.

Limit the need to multitask at all times. Be in the moment and very present.


Week 2 Challenge
1. Find ways to be more present this week.
2. Tune in to your bedroom. Look at it as if it were a hotel. Would you actually want to stay there? Is it calming? Is it relaxing? Can you retreat to this space and not feel pressured to do anything but be?

Your bedroom is the most private room in the house, and it should be the most personal. Your bed should feel like the ultimate sanctuary and make you happy every time you get into it. Your bedroom should be your safe haven, so make it a place you want to be. Allow yourself to buy fresh flowers every week, light a candle every night to unwind, declutter it!

Get rid of the papers and laptops and cell phones. Work can wait. Your bedroom should be your sacred space. Think candles, a bath tray for the tub with your favorite scents, wine, soap, and candles. Clean up the clutter. Make up your bed each day. Be unapologetic with it. Clean it like you mean it and you’re the owner or a fancy hotel. Cultivate being present in your bedroom. Just be. Non sexually and sexually touch your spouse, smile, laugh, have a childlike characteristic about yourself. Be free, airy, light, and just feminine. Put on a cute pajama set (or invest in one this week). Wear perfume or body splash to bed. Put as much effort into it like you do when you’re going to work. Be present...even in your bedroom.
 
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