Why are people attracted to each other? I still don't know the answer.
When I was growing up, I never dated any of the black men that I knew because they only wanted to date the white women in my town. The few times that I had dates with black men was only because my mom felt bad for my 'date-free' situation and would set me up with black guys who were the sons of women she went to church with. They wanted nothing to do with me once they found out that I was going into a creative field and had no intention of being a lawyer or doctor! Believe it or not.
The whole time this was going on, I was constantly and consistently being asked out by white men. I never went out with them when they asked. I was attracted to them but my father told me that if I ever dated a white man; he would disown me and never speak to me again. (This from a man who is 1/4 white and divorced my mom when I was three months old, abandoned her and never gave her a penny to raise me)
I eventually ended up dating lots of white men once I moved to NY but never told anyone in my family so that this info wouldn't get back to my dad. I ended up falling in love with a great guy. He was a film student and I was a waitress. We were absolutely and totally made for each other and I knew that he was the one. Well I made the mistake of telling my mom and guess what? My dad didn't speak to me for eighteen years. I really took it hard because I wanted to marry this guy but emotionally I just broke down. I left town for a year and when I came back he had gotten engaged to someone. I had broken his heart and he never understood why I had stopped seeing him. Even though I had stopped seeing him my father refused to have anything to do with me. Looking back on it now, I wish that I had stayed with him. His parents were wonderful to me.
I've since married someone else and just celebrated my 11th wedding annniversary. But it turns out that my long ago ex and I ended up in the same business and ran into each other on a set. It's been twenty-five years and he told me that he thinks of me every day because he never, ever stopped loving me and married someone else to get on with his life and try to stop the pain. I couldn't believe it.
So all of this is just to say - don't waste your life like I did. If you fall in love with someone that others don't approve of; it doesn't matter. Marry them, have their kids and get on with it! I missed out on decades of a great life with a great guy because I thought that what someone else thought was more important![/quote]
This is a very sad story. No disrespect Lej' but your father was a creep.
Fortunately for me, I was raised by my mother to love who loves you back and who is good and decent, no matter the race, religion or creed.
This is great advice and the key phrase in the embolded statement is "someone else." You have to live for you. You are born alone (unless you are a Siamese twin) and when you die, no one else will be in the casket with you, so do what is "right" for you.
If I was your friend or knew you at the time, I would have been supportive and cheering you on to be with the man you love (especially because he loved you too). Forget those knuckleheads!
Who knows...life is funny. You and this man could end up back together again years from now. I've seen it happen many, many times.
God Bless You for sharing your story with us.
erplexedPM me.
:thatsall:
