Was reading another thread and decided to post a question here: since black women tend to have more negative PR (loud, ghetto, take charge, etc) do you think we have to be over-the-top with our femininity to be viewed as feminine? Like with other situations that black women face in life (in the work place, for example) do we have to do more than everyone else to get some recognition? Would love to get your thoughts
Was reading another thread and decided to post a question here: since black women tend to have more negative PR (loud, ghetto, take charge, etc) do you think we have to be over-the-top with our femininity to be viewed as feminine? Like with other situations that black women face in life (in the work place, for example) do we have to do more than everyone else to get some recognition? Would love to get your thoughts
As you know Black Girls are made of magic. While many stereotypes have a grain of truth to them a good majority of them hurt others people perception of us. Women in general no matter the race have a reputation to guard. So yes for me I do more overt displays of feminity to continue a good pr campaign. But that's just one part of it. I always put on my best foot forward because I'm representing my family and other Black women as well.
Was reading another thread and decided to post a question here: since black women tend to have more negative PR (loud, ghetto, take charge, etc) do you think we have to be over-the-top with our femininity to be viewed as feminine? Like with other situations that black women face in life (in the work place, for example) do we have to do more than everyone else to get some recognition? Would love to get your thoughts
Was reading another thread and decided to post a question here: since black women tend to have more negative PR (loud, ghetto, take charge, etc) do you think we have to be over-the-top with our femininity to be viewed as feminine? Like with other situations that black women face in life (in the work place, for example) do we have to do more than everyone else to get some recognition? Would love to get your thoughts
I don't even know: TV campaigns (like dove beauty), YouTube videos? A decent reality show? What I have seen is a lot more mainstream commercials and ads with black women and white men...perhaps that is moving towards normalizing black women as marriage partners.
I'll be fine...I'll just take it day by day.Was reading another thread and decided to post a question here: since black women tend to have more negative PR (loud, ghetto, take charge, etc) do you think we have to be over-the-top with our femininity to be viewed as feminine? Like with other situations that black women face in life (in the work place, for example) do we have to do more than everyone else to get some recognition? Would love to get your thoughts
But at the same time (and I know I may rustle a few feathers), with stereotypes, unfortunately there tends to be some truth in them...otherwise, it wouldn't be a "stereotype". I think this goes back to what @barbiesocialite was saying in that sadly a lot of black mothers don't really instill femininity in their daughters. Can you blame them?? When a lot of your men are in jail, or have left the home, and you have to take care of your kids by yourself, and do everything by yourself as a single mother, who has time for dressing and acting "feminine"? 
When we look at the BIGGER picture, it's no wonder that bw have been downplaying their femininity for decades! 
What has happened to society today?? Do we just not CARE anymore?? And I'm not just talking about bw, I'm talking about ww, hw, and even wm, bm, hm, etc. It seems society in general just does not give a rats behind about their appearance on a day-t0-day basis anymore. Hey ladies....
I'm hanging in there.... I've been kind of MIA lately because I've been slightly depressed. My little Yorkie died unexpectedly died last week, and I've been a wreck ever since.
I posted what happened on the Pet Forum here. I'm better than I was last week, but I'm still feeling kind of "blah". It's hard for me to come home to my apartment now with nobody (I mean NOBODY) to greet me.
*sigh* So....needless to say I've been slacking off lately.
But, tonight after work my goal is to go home, put on my workout gear and just WALK/job around the pond at this park near my house. I think I need to get out and get my endorphins flowing.
So please just bear with me... She was like a member of the family to me. Had her 8 years, and now she's gone.
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GOOD question!! I've been secretly wondering this actually myself. I pretty much agree with what most have already said on here.
In all HONESTY....I HATE to all of the negative stereotypes put on bw, and don't like to see negative portrayal of us in the media.
With THAT said however, I think bw were portrayed MUCH more positively in the 1940s, 1950s, etc....or, shall I say...there were more FEMININE examples of bw in the media, on tv, in movies, etc. I'm talking TRULY feminine. I even look at old pictures of my grandmother from back in the day, and she was truly fly! She and her friends were always VERY well dressed, wore lace gloves, pretty hats, nice dress suits, beautiful dresses, hair always "done", etc. I mean, the dress and grooming back in the day was always on POINT!
So....I guess in answer to your question... Yes and No. On one hand, I don't think any woman should feel like she has to be "over the top" in order to be feminine. With that said however, I DO think that women in general (especially bw) should put forth a little bit of effort to be more feminine.
Ugh...I have to leave work now, but I have SO much more to say lol
I could have written this same exact post. We share the same similar experiences.
I almost feel like because of history, the media, etc...we are sort of starting BEHIND the "Start Line" (so to speak), and so therefore have to work a little harder at displaying these qualities since most do not associate "black" with being "feminine". I like the idea of posting pictures of feminine women on this board, (especially BLACK feminine women), so that we can see firsthand that bw CAN be beautiful, light, easy-going, feminine, charming, sweet, demure, and classy. Of course we know it deep down, but because it's so RARE that we're portrayed in this way (it's always the "STRONG" black woman) sometimes we can tend to forget. I'm SERIOUS! I want to join the campaign. I feel like even though I'm just one person, I can do my best to try to exhibit more feminine qualities and who knows, maybe it will encourage more fellow bw to exhibit those same qualities as well. I think the media has done a GOOD job in making us seem undesirable, fat, ugly, loud, brash, attitude-y, negative, crass, ghetto, etc. Sadly though, sometimes those images aren't just found in the media. Sometimes they are found in real life. And then when you see your own bm (at times...not all of course) engaging in the smear campaign as well, it can make us as bw feel put down, less than, and feel like what's the use in changing? But I think that in time, little by little, we can IMPROVE the image of bw in the media and around us in general. It starts in the home (of course), but I think that seeing positive images of BLACK women (of ALL hues...not just "mixed" or lighter-skinned women) all around us (on TV, movies, day-to-day life, etc) will help tremendously.
I just felt easy-going, happy, smiling all the time, special, feminine, and not on edge at all. Just light, breezy, and feminine. My sister has always been feminine, but there's a different type of "energy" that is exuded when a woman is in a relationship. I think it attracts men like honeybees. I also say that women who have children are also exuding a more motherly/feminine vibe, and I think this is why many women who have children seem to snag men left and right lol. I sometimes envy women who had such a strong, solid, LOVING and caring father figure who taught them the ways of life and allowed them to be feminine daughters. My parents divorced when I was young, and my dad died in my teens, so I never really had a stable father figure in my life who was easy-going and laid back. I was never "butch" or anything, but when I was little I loved to be athletic, and focused more on being "smart", "competent", and responsible, since these were traits my father seemed to value more. Whereas my sister was the youngest so she had more of the freedom to just be herself, no responsibility, etc. ), and just being comfortable in our lives right now.
^^YES!!!!! You have definitely hit the nail on something @Kimbosheart
I think single women who don't have a man in their lives can still exude this same feminine spirit by falling in love with themselves. We may not have a man right now, but we can feel protected and shower love to ourselves by fully immersing ourselves in our feminine energy (we may have to try harder
I'm not trying to turn this into the Christian forum either, but I just had to add that now that I'm on my journey of reading my bible everyday and studying the deeper things of the bible, I DO feel sooo much more peace of mind, and more feminine as a result. Knowing how God & Jesus love me, and how Jesus treated others while on earth has definitely made things so much more clear to me and how I should treat others. I also love the way Jesus was so patient, kind, and loving, even towards women who were at times treated like dirt back in biblical times. I feel this overwhelming sense of contentment, happiness, and confidence swelling inside of me when I read how God truly loves me. I think as a single woman it helps to view God as your "head" as you wait for your human husbandly head in time. I think this gives single christian women who are not married yet some sort of peace of mind and a feeling of protection. I still strive to be the Provbers 31:10 woman, and I DEFINITELY think reading the bible has increased my feminine energy for sure.
