Crystalicequeen123
Well-Known Member
****I apologize in advance for the length, but I just had to let this out! I'm having epiphanies all over the place today based on these latest posts! 
Oh I know....I struggle with it too.
I don't watch the Housewives shows (well...right now I don't even have cable lol...
), but I do find that what I put in my mind (what I watch/listen to) tends to affect how I come across. Even what I read can make a big difference in my "energy"...especially my FEMININE energy.
I have to work on this, and I have to get over my addiction to the ET board, and focus some more of my attention on the Hair Board, Skin/Makeup/Nails Board, The Relationship Board, Health & Fitness Board, and the Sewing/Domestic Board.
I do believe it makes a HUGE difference in your spirit and the energy you put out.
I'm almost getting goosebumps! 
But yes, I have to make a conscious effort as well. I especially agree about the music. No music that degrades women or puts women in a masculine/non-feminine light. Also, I used to LOVE those Lifetime movies too, but over the years I started realizing that the plot was usually the same... some man/husband did some woman wrong, she fought back or he was coming after her, woman doesn't trust men anymore, woman survives and makes it out on her own without any help from a man.
I mean, it's an empowering channel for women, but at the same time...I can see how constantly (on a regular basis) watching movies about how men do women wrong and how they are the scum of the earth can eventually make you become embittered, angry, and mistrustful of men.
I know this might touch a nerve, but I'll say it anyway........ While I LOVE my movies on historic events, the Civil Rights movement/slavery, etc... I can see how a steady diet of these types of films can cause myself (or even others) to be VERY distrustful and hateful of whites (or even other races) in the long run. There's nothing wrong with these movies, and I definitely believe in people being well-educated and informed about their history (especially our history which has been so diluted in the public school system 
) but at the same time, I can see how a constant steady diet of this can take away our overall "joy" if consumed on a daily basis. I just wish there were a balance. For every "slave" movie, there were a movie about blacks ACCOMPLISHING things...and w/out the help of the wm.... As a group of black individuals, instead of focusing on slavery and our plights in this country, why not focus on our accomplishments, our inventions, our contributions to the nation, our families, our courage, our educational feats despite adversity, our unique beauty as BLACK WOMEN, etc? That's not to say that people won't do you wrong (unfortunately bad people just exist), but I think having this more positive mindset definitely will foster (imo) more confidence, positivity, and a 'joie de vivre' that is so severely lacking at times today.
Also ladies, we have to careful with what we speak out loud. A lot of people believe in LOA or what you focus on becomes your reality, and what you speak out has weight. I'll never forget this article that I read recently online about relationships where the dating coach asked the question: "Do you like men? I mean, do you REALLY like men"?? She was stating that a lot of women say that they love men and that they want to be in relationships, but as soon as they get with their girlfriends everyone around the table is clinking glasses of wine and comiserating about how some man did them wrong, or how some guy is a jerk, or how that SOB cheated on them, etc. That's not to say that those women aren't valid in their feelings, but the article just showed me that if I have underlying bitterness/resentment towards men, it's going to be very HARD for me to let my feminine radiance shine through, and it will be more challenging for me to attract the RIGHT guy to me. The author suggested that instead of focusing on the negative things men do, or the painful/hurtful things they have done to you in the past, focus more on the GOOD men out here, the men who are great in your life (your father, brother, cousins, neighbors, in the public eye, teachers, helpers, men doing their jobs, etc) and your whole mindset will change. I can't stress this enough that what you focus on becomes your reality.
So, I'm starting from today to try to make a conscious effort to see the GOOD in men, and when my girlfriend calls me complaining about how some guy did her wrong, I'll offer her comfort, but I'll try not to say: "yeaaa girl these men out here are something else. Forget about the
loser!" 
Sorry to ramble on... This whole thread has been such a HUGE eye-opener for me. It's like I'm finally seeing "the light" and getting it.
Oh I know....I struggle with it too.
I don't watch the Housewives shows (well...right now I don't even have cable lol...), but I do find that what I put in my mind (what I watch/listen to) tends to affect how I come across. Even what I read can make a big difference in my "energy"...especially my FEMININE energy.I have to work on this, and I have to get over my addiction to the ET board, and focus some more of my attention on the Hair Board, Skin/Makeup/Nails Board, The Relationship Board, Health & Fitness Board, and the Sewing/Domestic Board.
I do believe it makes a HUGE difference in your spirit and the energy you put out.
WOW! We are making some changes up in here!
I'm almost getting goosebumps! But yes, I have to make a conscious effort as well. I especially agree about the music. No music that degrades women or puts women in a masculine/non-feminine light. Also, I used to LOVE those Lifetime movies too, but over the years I started realizing that the plot was usually the same... some man/husband did some woman wrong, she fought back or he was coming after her, woman doesn't trust men anymore, woman survives and makes it out on her own without any help from a man. I mean, it's an empowering channel for women, but at the same time...I can see how constantly (on a regular basis) watching movies about how men do women wrong and how they are the scum of the earth can eventually make you become embittered, angry, and mistrustful of men.
I know this might touch a nerve, but I'll say it anyway........
While I LOVE my movies on historic events, the Civil Rights movement/slavery, etc... I can see how a steady diet of these types of films can cause myself (or even others) to be VERY distrustful and hateful of whites (or even other races) in the long run. There's nothing wrong with these movies, and I definitely believe in people being well-educated and informed about their history (especially our history which has been so diluted in the public school system ) but at the same time, I can see how a constant steady diet of this can take away our overall "joy" if consumed on a daily basis. I just wish there were a balance. For every "slave" movie, there were a movie about blacks ACCOMPLISHING things...and w/out the help of the wm.... As a group of black individuals, instead of focusing on slavery and our plights in this country, why not focus on our accomplishments, our inventions, our contributions to the nation, our families, our courage, our educational feats despite adversity, our unique beauty as BLACK WOMEN, etc? That's not to say that people won't do you wrong (unfortunately bad people just exist), but I think having this more positive mindset definitely will foster (imo) more confidence, positivity, and a 'joie de vivre' that is so severely lacking at times today.Also ladies, we have to careful with what we speak out loud. A lot of people believe in LOA or what you focus on becomes your reality, and what you speak out has weight. I'll never forget this article that I read recently online about relationships where the dating coach asked the question: "Do you like men? I mean, do you REALLY like men"?? She was stating that a lot of women say that they love men and that they want to be in relationships, but as soon as they get with their girlfriends everyone around the table is clinking glasses of wine and comiserating about how some man did them wrong, or how some guy is a jerk, or how that SOB cheated on them, etc. That's not to say that those women aren't valid in their feelings, but the article just showed me that if I have underlying bitterness/resentment towards men, it's going to be very HARD for me to let my feminine radiance shine through, and it will be more challenging for me to attract the RIGHT guy to me.
The author suggested that instead of focusing on the negative things men do, or the painful/hurtful things they have done to you in the past, focus more on the GOOD men out here, the men who are great in your life (your father, brother, cousins, neighbors, in the public eye, teachers, helpers, men doing their jobs, etc) and your whole mindset will change. I can't stress this enough that what you focus on becomes your reality.So, I'm starting from today to try to make a conscious effort to see the GOOD in men, and when my girlfriend calls me complaining about how some guy did her wrong, I'll offer her comfort, but I'll try not to say: "yeaaa girl these men out here are something else. Forget about the
loser!" Sorry to ramble on... This whole thread has been such a HUGE eye-opener for me. It's like I'm finally seeing "the light" and getting it.
Last edited:
Now I put on my makeup in my bedroom. It feels heavenly doing my hair and makeup before my vanity. I have a collections of oils, scents, creams, and jewelry before me. My nightstand is lovely too. I sip my tea before bed while reading a good book, some poetry, or writing in my journal.
), so I can only spend an hour each day "surfing" online (especially during work hours.... 
I haven't had a sew-in since 2007 
I will probably feel more feminine as well. 
Idk what type of women/personalities she's used to dealing with in that store 
LOL!
Also, right now, my funds aren't in the best shape. I JUST started a new job a month ago that FINALLY pays me a little bit more cash, but with all of the stuff I've had to purchase for my new apartment (I had to start all over again from SCRATCH basically! 
) I am very hesitant to throw out old clothes.... 
But I will definitely check out/read that method. It sounds awesome! 
