Feminine Belles - Info/discussion/support Thread

[sweetvi]

Guess what! I just got back some pinup shots that I did. It took her forever but waa worth the wait. I look like a different person and I felt so beautiful and special. She made me feel so comfortable and i had a wardrobe stylist and a hair and nakeup person. I urge all my ladies to do it at least once in your lifetime!!! It is worth the cost. You can brag to yoyr children lol.

 

[almond eyes]

Also another woman who transformed herself but was controversial was Coco Chanel. I love watching the youtube "once upon a time" english and french versions of her life. They are only about five minutes a piece. But she had an interesting life from orphan to creating the brand Chanel and captivating a lot of men.

Many perfumers of her time had been men and she dared them and entered the field and her many emphasis was that women should have a signature scent.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Kimbosheart]

I'm going to start a google doc

 

[LovingLady]

Good morning Ladies,

Today I woke up with the idea of a personal 6 month challenge. I am going to make a list of where I want to be personally, and work on obtaining those goals within the 6 months.

 

[TracyNicole]

@LovingLady I like this idea very much!

Also in terms of resources, I am interested in reading the Madame Chic series. Has anyone already read any of them?
http://dailyconnoisseur.blogspot.com/

And I added a new blog to my collection today. I am not a housewife but in that niche of the blogosphere I am finding many feminine tips for life at home and this one comes with fashion too!
http://theglamoroushousewife.com/2015/06/marilyn-monroe-fashion/
http://theglamoroushousewife.com/category/style/curated-classic-style/

 

[LovingLady]

@TracyNicole thanks for the websites.

I am looking to be able to put a system in place that I can sustain. For example, if I currently eat out 7 of the 21 meals in a week, and I want to out eat out for 3, I need to change something in my routine so that I can make more food at home. Or if I want a well organized home I have to fine a way to maintain (afford and clean) that without it negatively effecting other areas.

I don't believe that growth and development stops a certain date but the whole idea is to giving myself 6 months to develop a system that I can sustain that will allow me to be the women I want to be.

 

[TracyNicole]

@TracyNicole thanks for the websites.

I am looking to be able to put a system in place that I can sustain. For example, if I currently eat out 7 of the 21 meals in a week, and I want to out eat out for 3, I need to change something in my routine so that I can make more food at home. Or if I want a well organized home I have to fine a way to maintain (afford and clean) that without it negatively effecting other areas.

I don't believe that growth and development stops a certain date but the whole idea is to giving myself 6 months to develop a system that I can sustain that will allow me to be the women I want to be.

There are a ton of ideas out there. If you are on Facebook there are a couple of groups great for exploring systems: clean mama a bowl full of lemons organizing group and the kon Mari method group.

 

[Kimbosheart]

I second kon Mari. It is a bigger undertaking at first but it is well worth the effort and you won't relapse. Mainly because you learn to constantly cultivate as you go.

I've had the Madame chic books in my Amazon wish list for awhile. I think they may be available on oyster. I'll have to check it out. My book list is forever long.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

No, but I bought this dress from Stop Staring which is a similar site:

**GASP!!!** OH EMM GEE!!!! I LOVE this dress! This dress is exactly my style. It's so classy and simple, yet so fashionable and feminine. I love it!

OK that's it! I MUST get my butt consistent in the gym! I find that my dresses looked and fit better when I was in better shape a few years ago. I could wear anything and look feminine and stylish simply because my body looked GOOD! Now days. ... although I'm not big at all, I'm more flabby than before, and my tummy is my problem area. No more excuses though....

Thanks for sharing the site! I'm definitely checking it out. And congrats on the weight loss btw!

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I just watched this Youtuber's video on the loss of femininity in American women, and I thought her take/viewpoint was pretty interesting. It's pretty much some of the same stuff we've been saying in this thread.

I'm kind of interested in checking out a sample of what her book is all about.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Hmmm..... this video of hers was very interesting as well.

I'm taking notes lol! I may not have enough money to go to charm school or etiquette class, but I'm definitely taking her words to heart. The yin and the yang. ....it's like all things are coming together now, and it's finally starting to make sense!



I'm also now starting to see why in the past I've never been able to really attract the types of men that I've personally been into! It's like I just had an #ahamoment!

Definitely taking notes, and transforming into a feminine Belle. It's already inside all women naturally, but due to childhood, environment, the media, culture, family rules, or WHATEVER, we've been taught to suppress it, hide it, or not feel comfortable in the feminine. Well no more!

 

[Kimbosheart]

Good morning Ladies,

Today I woke up with the idea of a personal 6 month challenge. I am going to make a list of where I want to be personally, and work on obtaining those goals within the 6 months.

Will you share some of the main areas your working on or actions?

 

[LovingLady]

Will you share some of the main areas your working on or actions?

The main goal is to develop a new rhythm/a new way of living and thinking. This new rhythm is design to help to develop the women I want to be. I am not going to make all these changes at once. I will do a few at a time and once the change is the my new normal, the other changes will be added. The key to this is patience.

The main area that I am working on is my mindset. How I view the world and myself. It is the mind that control what you do throughout the day and the kind of person you end up becoming.

Whenever a negative situation happens I find the lesson that I can learn from it, how I can use it to make me better and not bitter. I am who God says I am and I tell myself that every day.

For the areas below I am going to ease into each area instead of making a sudden change. I will use the example of waking up early.

I am a morning person and I would like to get up an hour earlier than I currently do but setting an alarm does not work for me. I would like to get up earlier naturally so I am setting my alarm 15 minutes ahead of when I currently get up. Once I can get up naturally without an alarm I am going to set the alarm for 15 minutes ahead and repeat the process until I am naturally get up at the new time.

Working Out
Organization
Finances
Beauty
Waking up Early
Communication

All of the externals (hair, makeup, clothes) can be added at the end.





Most important tip: Life is not about what you get it is about who you become.

 

[JollyGal]

Hi Belles,
I've been on an internet break so much going on and I need to switch off for a while to find some peace. Pray and get myself together
I will respond to quotes and questions soon

Stay Black and Feminine

 

[Kimbosheart]

@LovingLady This is perfect. I really like your plan of attack on these areas. Thank you for sharing.

@JollyGal we will miss you on your break. I totally understand, I go on mini breaks for facebook and instagram or even the entertainment forum... or even the relationship forum from time to time.

One thing, I really want to work on, with God, this summer is getting rid of the picture in my head of how things are supposed to be. This is very similar concept to living in the moment. It's being thankful for what I have now, not judging others and not comparing myself against others. Being in those places take away that gentleness that is the essence of femininity.

Our little argument is over. I learned the lesson above in miniature (over paint colors) and I learned the power of silence. I let going of trying to establish my boundaries with words/actions (pouting) and instead just had a conversation. I waited on him to answer. Finally Saturday I just got bored with the fight and let it all go. We had a great weekend after that. I need to be like that more often. This led to us trying to do old school dances around his house. Too much fun.

 

[LovingLady]

@Kimbosheart I love what you are doing. I need to let go of expectations (how things are suppose to be) because this leads to disappointment. As women we should be receiving what happens and influencing the situation to take a positive path.

I am still working on "letting things go" I know this is keeping me back.

I really love this thread. It would be great if we could have a meet-up towards the end of the year.

 

[ArrrBeee]

you guys need to check out Tear This Heart Out on netflix. Im not even paying attention to the story line because I am admiring the womans attire, demeanor, and mannerisms. They even had a scene where the women are learning how to cook and I am like we missed out on that. They are so elegant and pretty

I loved her wardrobe. It was so feminine.

 

[sweetvi]

I loved her wardrobe. It was so feminine.

Plus the way she walked, sat, talked,etc. Yes it was nicd

 

[sweetvi]

I'm just going to leave this here. NIIIICE

 

[TracyNicole]

“To be despised by her sex is a very great compliment to a woman.”
I read this quote on the Feminine Belle this morning and it really resonated with me. When I kept myself up better my energy was different. There was an underlying confidence. I had few female friends but plenty of suitors. I never really noticed but as I let things slide, I now have plenty of girlfriends but am not happy with myself. It makes me realize I really do have to do better. I'm going to join you in a 6 month challenge LovingLady. It's perfect because 6 months will take us right to the end of the year. What do you ladies think of this quote?

 

[ladysaraii]

“To be despised by her sex is a very great compliment to a woman.”
I read this quote on the Feminine Belle this morning and it really resonated with me. When I kept myself up better my energy was different. There was an underlying confidence. I had few female friends but plenty of suitors. I never really noticed but as I let things slide, I now have plenty of girlfriends but am not happy with myself. It makes me realize I really do have to do better. I'm going to join you in a 6 month challenge LovingLady. It's perfect because 6 months will take us right to the end of the year. What do you ladies think of this quote?

To be honest, I don't know that I like it. I feel like it's one more thing to undercut female relationships and pit us against one another. And I think that good female relationships are an important part of femininity. I mean think of how much we learn from each other, heck just even in this thread. I mean, there is a line of course, but I think this idea of women hating you isn't a positive thing.

Maybe I'm misinterpreting it or thinking too far into it.

 

[Duchesse]

To be honest, I don't know that I like it. I feel like it's one more thing to undercut female relationships and pit us against one another. And I think that good female relationships are an important part of femininity. I mean think of how much we learn from each other, heck just even in this thread. I mean, there is a line of course, but I think this idea of women hating you isn't a positive thing.

Maybe I'm misinterpreting it or thinking too far into it.

I agree with you. I think it feeds into the whole 'other women are my competitor for beauty and men' sentiment. I wouldn't want other women to despise me..or anyone to despise me for that matter. And I think that when we relish in the fact that we have 'haters', it undermines the confidence and light we should be cultivating.

@traceynicole71 I get your POV as well. When we are at our best, unfortunately it threatens those who may be insecure.

 

[Kimbosheart]

I agree with both views, but I will say that by being confident, loving and generous the last thing I want around me is an insecure and fearful person- male or female. That is not a spirit, I need in my life. It's something I'm actively trying to fight.

For my 6 month challenge, I really need to work on the areas I mentioned above. I think the first bullet is head space issues and the second bullet is womb space. It's that sparkle in my eye that I have lost as I've gained more and more responsibilities in life.

- fear, expectations, comparisons
- Joy in the moment

Regarding the physical aspects of femininity, the areas I'm constantly working on to increase beauty in my life are my appearance, my health, my home-sanctuary. Ancillary to that of course is finances. Essentially the "that girl" challenge.

So action wise, I've started a bible study program which I'm optimistic about. I"m back to prayer journaling. I'm doing pilates every night again at least 5 nights a week at a minimum. I love to move my body, so I know once I slow down and finish all my work travel, vacation and my move, I'll be back to regular exercise and even better eating. I'm meditating, just 5-10 minutes per day. Right now, I'm consuming beauty by reading on more creative or spiritual issues. Again once I slow down I plan to visit more museums or art shows, or eat at fabulous restaurants. Behaviorally, I'm taking more care in my appearance and movement. Styling myself deliberately each day. Listening and observing others more and being aware of my space in social interactions. Choosing to be warm and friendly, not hiding my presence by pretending to be engrossed in my phone, computer or book. If I disagree, I can make eye contact and still be silent. No need to argue. Choosing to be neat, even in my hotel rooms. I want to get to know me, even more than I already do. I want to know the divine in me.

I know this will take my whole life, not just 6 months. But I'm hoping to build habits and a baseline.

 

[Kimbosheart]

Ok, the google doc is a bit of an undertaking so I was thinking about creating a secret board on pinterest that we can all pin to for this challenge. So if you would like to be invited just let me know your pinterest name and/or email and I can do that.

 

[ladysaraii]

So I like the idea of a 6 month challenge. I still need to figure out what I want to focus on. I tend to try to do challenges and end up getting overwhelmed when it's too many things.

I know off top I want to focus on

-weight/health
-home appearance
-outward appearance (this is helpful as i'm decluttering my house I'm only rebuilding my wardrobe with things that I want to wear going forward.
-spirituality (I'd like to add in some simple rituals, meditation, whatever, that I can keep up with)

Ok, the google doc is a bit of an undertaking so I was thinking about creating a secret board on pinterest that we can all pin to for this challenge. So if you would like to be invited just let me know your pinterest name and/or email and I can do that.

I love the idea of the pinterest board. I'll pm you my name and info.

 

[beingofserenity]

I just watched this Youtuber's video on the loss of femininity in American women, and I thought her take/viewpoint was pretty interesting. It's pretty much some of the same stuff we've been saying in this thread.

I'm kind of interested in checking out a sample of what her book is all about.

I just bought the book on kindle lol!

I had to. I was so intrigued by her videos..

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Ok, the google doc is a bit of an undertaking so I was thinking about creating a secret board on pinterest that we can all pin to for this challenge. So if you would like to be invited just let me know your pinterest name and/or email and I can do that.

Ooooo I LIKE this idea!!!!

I'm not too familiar with Pinterest so I don't have an account, but I'll go ahead and create one and then give you my info so that I can be added to the secret group!

So I like the idea of a 6 month challenge. I still need to figure out what I want to focus on. I tend to try to do challenges and end up getting overwhelmed when it's too many things.

I know off top I want to focus on

-weight/health
-home appearance
-outward appearance (this is helpful as i'm decluttering my house I'm only rebuilding my wardrobe with things that I want to wear going forward.
-spirituality (I'd like to add in some simple rituals, meditation, whatever, that I can keep up with)



I love the idea of the pinterest board. I'll pm you my name and info.

Good for you!

This is what my friend and I started doing a few weeks ago. We wanted a mid-year challenge of improving ourselves and accomplishing some goals we want to complete before the year is over. We figured that focusing on OURSELVES for a change instead of focusing so much on guys/relationships/worrying about being single, etc would definitely help us to live a happier life, and to be a really reknewed woman for when that special man (husband) happens to come into our lives.

So far it's been great!

I'm focusing on:
-My Physical Health, diet and fitness (trying to eat healthier, go to the gym consistently, get regular exercise/outdoor time)
-My spiritual health and relationship with God (reading my bible, doing deep research, relying more on God than on myself, regular prayer, etc)
-My organizational skills (I need to organize my home and my life! )
-My hobbies and domestic skills (taking up jewelry making again, learning how to sew, learning how to cook new recipes, doing more leisure reading like I used to, etc)
-My beauty regimen (hair, skin, nail care)
-My feminine spirit and radiance (being more OPEN towards others in general...even strangers, learning how to be RECEPTIVE instead of so "action-oriented", smiling more, dressing and acting in a more feminine way, becoming the Proverbs 31:10 woman, allowing men to open doors for me and DO things for me---this is BIG--, emitting true happiness, love and joy towards others. )
-My emotional well-being (letting go of past hurt, anger, resentment, baggage; learning how to live "in the moment" instead of focusing too much on the past or future; staying in the POSITIVE instead of the negative; taking time to decompress, relax, and have "me time")

Those are just a few of the things she and I are working on.

Every week we call each other and have a "check-in" on how we're doing on the challenge. It's very inspiring!

I just bought the book on kindle lol!

I had to. I was so intrigued by her videos..

Oh WOW!!! Have you read it so far?? Let me know if it's worth it! I may buy it myself....lol... It's very rare that I see a black female author write on this subject w/a book on Amazon.

Let us know if you find any gems in there!

 

[beingofserenity]

Ooooo I LIKE this idea!!!!

I'm not too familiar with Pinterest so I don't have an account, but I'll go ahead and create one and then give you my info so that I can be added to the secret group!





Good for you!

This is what my friend and I started doing a few weeks ago. We wanted a mid-year challenge of improving ourselves and accomplishing some goals we want to complete before the year is over. We figured that focusing on OURSELVES for a change instead of focusing so much on guys/relationships/worrying about being single, etc would definitely help us to live a happier life, and to be a really reknewed woman for when that special man (husband) happens to come into our lives.

So far it's been great!

I'm focusing on:
-My Physical Health, diet and fitness (trying to eat healthier, go to the gym consistently, get regular exercise/outdoor time)
-My spiritual health and relationship with God (reading my bible, doing deep research, relying more on God than on myself, regular prayer, etc)
-My organizational skills (I need to organize my home and my life! )
-My hobbies and domestic skills (taking up jewelry making again, learning how to sew, learning how to cook new recipes, doing more leisure reading like I used to, etc)
-My beauty regimen (hair, skin, nail care)
-My feminine spirit and radiance (being more OPEN towards others in general...even strangers, learning how to be RECEPTIVE instead of so "action-oriented", smiling more, dressing and acting in a more feminine way, becoming the Proverbs 31:10 woman, allowing men to open doors for me and DO things for me---this is BIG--, emitting true happiness, love and joy towards others. )
-My emotional well-being (letting go of past hurt, anger, resentment, baggage; learning how to live "in the moment" instead of focusing too much on the past or future; staying in the POSITIVE instead of the negative; taking time to decompress, relax, and have "me time")

Those are just a few of the things she and I are working on.

Every week we call each other and have a "check-in" on how we're doing on the challenge. It's very inspiring!



Oh WOW!!! Have you read it so far?? Let me know if it's worth it! I may buy it myself....lol... It's very rare that I see a black female author write on this subject w/a book on Amazon.

Let us know if you find any gems in there!

I'm enjoYing it so far. The author is very accomplished, she speaks five languages, and travelled with a team interviewing 1,000 men on marriage and happy relationships. She wrote a manual for both men and women. So far I'm reading the manual for men. I wonder if there is a way to share books on kindle, then you could at least read a bit to see if you want a copy for yourself.

 

[TracyNicole]

I agree with you. I think it feeds into the whole 'other women are my competitor for beauty and men' sentiment. I wouldn't want other women to despise me..or anyone to despise me for that matter. And I think that when we relish in the fact that we have 'haters', it undermines the confidence and light we should be cultivating.

@traceynicole71 I get your POV as well. When we are at our best, unfortunately it threatens those who may be insecure.

Since I didn't write the article I can't say how she meant it but I think it's undeniably true that women who are insecure (the vast majority of women) are threatened by an uber feminine and beautiful woman. I don't think the intention is to relish the haters but an understanding that evolutionarily speaking it IS a competition amongst members of the same sex. I think people forget our underlying animal behavior. It could be a lovely world if we were all super kind and helpful to one another but I also sincerely believe that it is unrealistic. I think this group is outside of the norm because we are a self selected group banded together by common interests. In the real world, women are rarely kind and open to a woman they see as competition for a mate/resources but have no problem being "nice" to their DUFF. Just my observations having been on both sides of the fence.

 

[BK Bombshell]

“To be despised by her sex is a very great compliment to a woman.”
I read this quote on the Feminine Belle this morning and it really resonated with me. When I kept myself up better my energy was different. There was an underlying confidence. I had few female friends but plenty of suitors. I never really noticed but as I let things slide, I now have plenty of girlfriends but am not happy with myself. It makes me realize I really do have to do better. I'm going to join you in a 6 month challenge LovingLady. It's perfect because 6 months will take us right to the end of the year. What do you ladies think of this quote?

Taken out of context , it seems very negative, but when you read the reason why, it's actually not.

I think it means that women who know how to use their femininity to attract men will be despised by women who have other ideas about what SHOULD be attractive. For example, we talk all the time here about how BW are raised to get an education, have your own money, be completely independent and THEN find a partner. Meanwhile other groups raise their daughters to do those things WHILE their finding a partner (or just find a partner to take care of them, period). We're taught we have to have all these things accomplished to "qualify," while a girl who has no degree, is broke and maybe working a crappy job, but knows how to use her femininity to her advantage - can attract a quality man without doing any of that. Not to mention that those things (degrees, money) generally don't even matter to men. Of course there's middle ground here, so that's a simplistic example, but that's where the "being despised by her sex" part comes in. Those women are especially infuriating to women who have a lot invested in the superwoman role but then get upset when they're expected to do everything themselves. I think it's possible to be both, but you have to make the effort to find balance.

ETA: What is a DUFF?