Feminine Belles - Info/discussion/support Thread

[Crystalicequeen123]

Excellent thread.

I have several friends very good with getting their weaves done to ensure they don't smell and look good for their husbands, always have their shoe game on, they get their fake lashes and nails installed and always have their make up to perfection and wear feminine dresses. However, some of them have confided to me that they feel a lot of pressure to keep up these appearances to their detriment and they cannot be seen at all in any type of natural state to their husbands because without all of the hair and make up they look so different. One of my friends said her husband liked all of the make up and hair but when they got married it changed, he saw the illusion behind it and tensions started. My friend said that she lost her hair line due to excessive braiding and weaving and she developed bad skin from all of the make up and her eyelashes got weak from the false lashes so when she tried to give these things a break her husband didn't like it he told her not to go without it but at the same time didn't want her to be so overly made up but now she couldn't start over.

I think it is very important to the single ladies to adopt an holistic approach to your beauty which is part of your femininity. I think fine wear the weaves and the make up but take care of your hair and skin care. Men are so fickle these days there are so many women out there who are disciplined in growing their own hair or maintaining their own hair even in a nice short cut and have clear great skin and don't pile on the make up and have a clean simple dress.

Back in the day, the illusions could be kept up because men and women didn't necessarily share a bedroom and men weren't being bombarded by all of the media assaults. Cleopatra could wear her wigs and who was Mark Anthony to know it wasn't all hers. Now all the secrets are out in the open. When I meet many men now these days they ask me if I am wearing foundation or powder and if my hair is my own. Now those are very rude questions and no questions that a man should be asking immediately but some men can be very picky about these issues.

Best,
Almond Eyes

GREAT Points!!!

I actually find it sad when women feel like they CAN'T take down the "facade" and just let themselves be "free" around their husbands. I know some women who go to bed WITH makeup on, or wake up EARLIER than their husbands in order to always have a fresh face of makeup on in the morning. Imo I think that's extreme. That shows huge insecurity. A woman is MORE than just her looks.

In addition I would also ask these women who these men are that they married, because if a man is ONLY fixated on the outer package of a woman even after getting to know her, then he wouldn't be someone I would want to be with.

And who are these men asking you about your makeup and hair game?? WHAT??? How rude. Let me guess, were they raised by single mothers? I just can't imagine a boy/young man being so knowlegeable about women's hair/makeup unless they were raised in a female-centric household.

I can't even lol..... I mean, seriously. Who asks questions like this?

Anyway, I wouldn't want to be w/ a man who was so critical and harsh that I felt like I had to wear makeup 24/7 or look a certain way in order to keep him. Men have become so SPOILED these days..it really is a shame. And the photoshop/filter/social media world we live in is not helping AT ALL. Now men expect women to be near perfect beings.

I don't like men who are superficial like that, so they wouldn't even be on my radar.

I say LOOK nice, do whatever you want with your hair/makeup/dress and grooming, but do it for YOU....not for men...but for YOU.

Also, lastly this is another reason why I think women should keep makeup to a minimum or at least keep a NATURAL (everyday) look. Don't pile it on every single day. You don't want him to jump back in horror when he finally sees you sans makeup lol You can add MORE when you really want to glam up, but for everyday wear? Just keep it simple. Some powder, some light liner and mascara, and lip gloss. Done. Special occassions/special dates can be avenues for more variety in makeup wearing.

ALL women look different w/out makeup, but you don't want to be like this girl.....

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I made a list of 10 reasons why I ama catch. I think I'm gonna write a lk everyday so I can go around feeling like a boss!

Good for you girl! You're reminding me to continue writing on my list lol!

 

[TracyNicole]

ITA it can be a challenge to keep up an illusion and maybe it's taking it too far to wear so much fake stuff. I think there can definitely be a balance that allows you to play up your natural beauty without ruining your canvas. There are a couple of things married women can do. Investing in yourself is important. Part of that is not sharing a closet or bathroom. I know that sounds crazy but I am serious. What you do to get ready is none of your husband's business. That being said, you don't want to scare the snickers out of him if he catches you bare faced and naked.

My biggest investments are maintaining regular appointments with my facialist. I wear makeup every singe day but my at home regimen is on point and I do NOT miss appointments. Hubby knows for a fact that you don't mess with mama's spa or hair appointments so if anything should pop up he will handle it. The hardest thing I have learned over the last few years on this journey is that many men seem to want a natural 10 which we know doesn't really exist. So I don't eat things that make my skin look bad, so tinted moisturizer or foundation is a bonus not a necessity. That way even without it, I don't look drastically different, just subtly better. It is also really important to learn the no makeup, makeup look. Men seem to prefer it.

And as for the other enhancements your friend employs, she can do those things in more subtle ways. A wig can do wonders to allow you to grow your hair out without the tension of braids or employing the services of a skilled beautician. Reniece saved my life during my transition time. Also, lash treatments like Latisse really work and are undetectable unlike false lashes. I still have so much to learn, but I have definitely figured out that there is more than one way to skin a cat! I hope you ladies keep sharing so we can build this arsenal up. Back in the day women had time and opportunity to work on these things and I think over the years we have failed to pass the knowledge on. It's my dream for us to develop a play book to work from so that we can all be that girl

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

^^Thanks for sharing all of these great tips @TracyNicole !!

I agree, we ladies need to keep sharing beauty secrets....for both inside and out!

I like your techniques. I definitely agree that it's much better to invest in GOOD skin and hair care instead of just relying on makeup and "coverup" techniques. My skin care game is pretty good...it's not outlandish, it's just simple. But so far it's been good. The only downer is that over the past few years I've started to break out...on my right side of my face in particular.

I did research and invested in a GOOD probiotic, and that has kept MOST of the acne on that side at bay. IDK if it's hormones or what, but years ago I NEVER used to get acne! Then it got to the point where I was breaking out every month in the same spot right before my cycle. The probiotic has done wonders in keeping some of that at bay. I don't get breakouts half as often (thank goodness). The dark hyperpgimentation on that side has started to decrease somewhat as well.

Another thing I just recently did was buy/invest in a good brand of silica. Ladies, TRUST me when I say that this brand does WONDERS!!!! I don't usually endorse products on here (especially vitamins), but this stuff is truth! When I read the reviews, I just HAD to buy it. It's bamboo extract, and it has made my skin even more youthful and I've only been taking it for 3 weeks!

We already talk about hair on this board (lol obviously), so I know there's nothing much I can really add there. There is a plethora of info on the Hair Forum. I know recently my natural hair has started to rebel in this dry California weather. I'm actually thinking of getting a sew-in this summer and giving my hair a break. Maybe trying something new on for a change. I have only gotten a sew-in once in my lifetime...over 6 years ago. It looked really nice. I was relaxed back then, but I'm going to try it on my natural hair (maybe a full enclosure) and see what happens lol Anyone have any good websites to buy some GOOD quality (reasonably priced) human hair?

Let me see....what else... Oh! I've started a sugar-fast for the month of June. I usually do a sugar fast every year at least twice a year for about a month or two. I see so many results when I do one. More energy, less anxiety, less crash and burn at the end of the day, my tastebuds come back lol, my dreams get more vivid, I lose about 3-5 lbs, and I just feel healthier. I still do honey and fruits of course, but plain processed sugar and sugar substitutes (sweeteners) I stay away from. It really does wonders. I think what you put in your body (and how often you exercise) really DOES make a HUGE difference in your overall "look".

Oh, and lastly....I know not everyone believes in God or the Bible on here, but for my OWN personal growth and relationship w/God I've been submitting myself to a bible reading regimen every single day. I'm going to try to be consistent with it. I'm starting from Genesis, and my goal is to read the entire bible within about a year's time. I think it will strengthen my relationship w/God, improve my relations with others, and just give me more of an overall feeling of well-being. Plus, already reading how God intended for the male and female relationship to work out together is already giving me more "feminine vibes". I see that I am special as a woman (not inferior as some men try to claim), and just knowing how precious God views women is a big source of encouragement for me. Reading the bible and seeing the qualities that a Christian should be exhibiting (ie. mildness, kindness of spirit, loving, etc) automatically puts me in a more feminine/submissive role.

 

[lux10023]

very true--men want a natural 10 which is unrealistic and i remind men in general that they are not a natural 10 either lol so we all have to be realistic and meet in the happy middle

i do think if your glam look deviates to much from your natural look that it can be alarming to your man..even when i was just dating dh he saw me in my extremely natural state and also done up--so it was never s shock..i wanted him to see me when i am red carpet ready but also when I'm home and in a chill relax yet feminine way--i maybe bias my glam look is still very natural pretty...but there is a happy medium that ladies and gents can meet on...

good thread

ITA it can be a challenge to keep up an illusion and maybe it's taking it too far to wear so much fake stuff. I think there can definitely be a balance that allows you to play up your natural beauty without ruining your canvas. There are a couple of things married women can do. Investing in yourself is important. Part of that is not sharing a closet or bathroom. I know that sounds crazy but I am serious. What you do to get ready is none of your husband's business. That being said, you don't want to scare the snickers out of him if he catches you bare faced and naked.

My biggest investments are maintaining regular appointments with my facialist. I wear makeup every singe day but my at home regimen is on point and I do NOT miss appointments. Hubby knows for a fact that you don't mess with mama's spa or hair appointments so if anything should pop up he will handle it. The hardest thing I have learned over the last few years on this journey is that many men seem to want a natural 10 which we know doesn't really exist. So I don't eat things that make my skin look bad, so tinted moisturizer or foundation is a bonus not a necessity. That way even without it, I don't look drastically different, just subtly better. It is also really important to learn the no makeup, makeup look. Men seem to prefer it.

And as for the other enhancements your friend employs, she can do those things in more subtle ways. A wig can do wonders to allow you to grow your hair out without the tension of braids or employing the services of a skilled beautician. Reniece saved my life during my transition time. Also, lash treatments like Latisse really work and are undetectable unlike false lashes. I still have so much to learn, but I have definitely figured out that there is more than one way to skin a cat! I hope you ladies keep sharing so we can build this arsenal up. Back in the day women had time and opportunity to work on these things and I think over the years we have failed to pass the knowledge on. It's my dream for us to develop a play book to work from so that we can all be that girl

 

[TracyNicole]

@Crystalicequeen123

I did research and invested in a GOOD probiotic, and that has kept MOST of the acne on that side at bay. IDK if it's hormones or what, but years ago I NEVER used to get acne! Then it got to the point where I was breaking out every month in the same spot right before my cycle. The probiotic has done wonders in keeping some of that at bay. I don't get breakouts half as often (thank goodness). The dark hyperpgimentation on that side has started to decrease somewhat as well.

Probiotics are the truth. Your gut health is so important to how you look and feel. Have you tried a quality bone broth?

Another thing I just recently did was buy/invest in a good brand of silica. Ladies, TRUST me when I say that this brand does WONDERS!!!! I don't usually endorse products on here (especially vitamins), but this stuff is truth! When I read the reviews, I just HAD to buy it. It's bamboo extract, and it has made my skin even more youthful and I've only been taking it for 3 weeks!

Thank you for sharing. I have been meaning to try silica since I decided to stop purchasing Fiji water as a staple so I am going to get that today.

Anyone have any good websites to buy some GOOD quality (reasonably priced) human hair?

Define reasonable... I had a ton of success with Jace Beauty hair. I wore it for two years straight only replacing the closure every 6 months. Because I had it in continuously it was worth the price but I don't know if I would pay those prices for a casual jaunt. Her "processed" line is cheaper but I have no experience with that. Reniece and co. push ONYC hair but I really did not like the batch I bought.

Let me see....what else... Oh! I've started a sugar-fast for the month of June. I usually do a sugar fast every year at least twice a year for about a month or two. I see so many results when I do one. More energy, less anxiety, less crash and burn at the end of the day, my tastebuds come back lol, my dreams get more vivid, I lose about 3-5 lbs, and I just feel healthier. I still do honey and fruits of course, but plain processed sugar and sugar substitutes (sweeteners) I stay away from. It really does wonders. I think what you put in your body (and how often you exercise) really DOES make a HUGE difference in your overall "look".

See! I keep saying there is so much synergy in this thread. I just purchased the 21 Day Sugar Detox by Dianne Sanfilipo and am planning to start this month. I am a bit nervous because it cuts down severely on fruit and doesn't all even natural sweetners like honey but I really believe sugar causes a ton of health problems and it's damaging effects on collagen can ruin your face.

Oh, and lastly....I know not everyone believes in God or the Bible on here, but for my OWN personal growth and relationship w/God I've been submitting myself to a bible reading regimen every single day. I'm going to try to be consistent with it. I'm starting from Genesis, and my goal is to read the entire bible within about a year's time. I think it will strengthen my relationship w/God, improve my relations with others, and just give me more of an overall feeling of well-being. Plus, already reading how God intended for the male and female relationship to work out together is already giving me more "feminine vibes". I see that I am special as a woman (not inferior as some men try to claim), and just knowing how precious God views women is a big source of encouragement for me. Reading the bible and seeing the qualities that a Christian should be exhibiting (ie. mildness, kindness of spirit, loving, etc) automatically puts me in a more feminine/submissive role.

How did you get started with your devotionals. I read this in the Ultimate Career book last week but I am struggling with finding a direction for my readings.

 

[almond eyes]

GREAT Points!!!

I actually find it sad when women feel like they CAN'T take down the "facade" and just let themselves be "free" around their husbands. I know some women who go to bed WITH makeup on, or wake up EARLIER than their husbands in order to always have a fresh face of makeup on in the morning. Imo I think that's extreme. That shows huge insecurity. A woman is MORE than just her looks.

In addition I would also ask these women who these men are that they married, because if a man is ONLY fixated on the outer package of a woman even after getting to know her, then he wouldn't be someone I would want to be with.

And who are these men asking you about your makeup and hair game?? WHAT??? How rude. Let me guess, were they raised by single mothers? I just can't imagine a boy/young man being so knowlegeable about women's hair/makeup unless they were raised in a female-centric household.

I can't even lol..... I mean, seriously. Who asks questions like this?

Anyway, I wouldn't want to be w/ a man who was so critical and harsh that I felt like I had to wear makeup 24/7 or look a certain way in order to keep him. Men have become so SPOILED these days..it really is a shame. And the photoshop/filter/social media world we live in is not helping AT ALL. Now men expect women to be near perfect beings.

I don't like men who are superficial like that, so they wouldn't even be on my radar.

I say LOOK nice, do whatever you want with your hair/makeup/dress and grooming, but do it for YOU....not for men...but for YOU.

Also, lastly this is another reason why I think women should keep makeup to a minimum or at least keep a NATURAL (everyday) look. Don't pile it on every single day. You don't want him to jump back in horror when he finally sees you sans makeup lol You can add MORE when you really want to glam up, but for everyday wear? Just keep it simple. Some powder, some light liner and mascara, and lip gloss. Done. Special occassions/special dates can be avenues for more variety in makeup wearing.

ALL women look different w/out makeup, but you don't want to be like this girl.....

Excellent points you raise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some years back, I used to be addicted to extension braids and heavy pancake powder, I did it because this was what I knew to be feminine expressed to me by other female relatives. I remember one evening a guy I really liked said to me, I want to see you without the make up take it off now. Now, I was shocked, shocked at the frankness and as you said if a man asks straight out like that he must have been raised in a female centric home. Needless to say that was a non starter but from that day on, I toned it down and focused on my hair care and skin care regime which made me much more confident. It's interesting where I am right now most of the women wear weaves and heavy make up and I am the opposite and I can tell you I get more stares and propositions from the guys. Too much of that stuff can wreak desperation from men. Like you are trying too hard. I saw one woman who wore an auburn blond wig and heavy heavy make up and heels she could barely walk in and people were laughing at her, I felt bad for her.

But I guess on the other hand if your hairline is gone and you have no choice but to wear a weave or wig, do it realistically. Or pick a guy who isn't so superficial. But then again I have male friends who say that women are the superficial ones using these traps to lure men and then when the men see who they truly are personality wise and make up wise they run. Rita Hayward, a beautiful actress back in the day used to say men go to bed with Gilda (her movie character) but wake up with me.

The person who most comes to mind in terms of the feminine appeal was Elizabeth Taylor, Sophia Loren and many black women I know in real life. I think Dorothy had that feminine appeal but there was something tragic in her that you could see in her eyes. Another woman that I really think comes to mind is Kate of Windsor. I mean this woman was middle class, she was bullied and yet she worked on herself and she defied all expectations and married Prince William. She is an example of fresh, feminine, not overdoing it and staying true to herself.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

@TracyNicole
Probiotics are the truth. Your gut health is so important to how you look and feel. Have you tried a quality bone broth?

YESSS They are!!! I didn't realize just how much it makes a huge difference! I didn't start realizing that gut health is SO important until recently. I haven't tried a bone broth. What is that?


Thank you for sharing. I have been meaning to try silica since I decided to stop purchasing Fiji water as a staple so I am going to get that today.

Yes, try it and let me know what you think! You probably have to be taking it for at least a month or so before you see REAL drastic results though.



Define reasonable... I had a ton of success with Jace Beauty hair. I wore it for two years straight only replacing the closure every 6 months. Because I had it in continuously it was worth the price but I don't know if I would pay those prices for a casual jaunt. Her "processed" line is cheaper but I have no experience with that. Reniece and co. push ONYC hair but I really did not like the batch I bought.

Well, I'm thinking of something LESS than $300.... I'll check out Jace Beauty Hair. I just want something NATURAL looking, because if the hair is too shiny or whatnot, I don't want it. I don't want anything ostentatious or showy, I just want something simple, about bra-strap length...wavy/straight. My hair is worn in twists or a twist-out/kinky style 90% of the time. I just want to try a new style on for a change. I'm going to be VERY busy this summer and I don't want to have to worry too much about styling my hair a certain way. I just want to give it a bit of a break from manipulation.




See! I keep saying there is so much synergy in this thread. I just purchased the 21 Day Sugar Detox by Dianne Sanfilipo and am planning to start this month. I am a bit nervous because it cuts down severely on fruit and doesn't all even natural sweetners like honey but I really believe sugar causes a ton of health problems and it's damaging effects on collagen can ruin your face.

Interesting! We are all on the same wavelength I see lol. I may check out that 21 Day Sugar Detox. Wow, idk if I can give up fruit AND honey too. Man! Let me know how you are doing on it. Maybe we can check in and help each other lol. I know that usually by the 3rd week I stop craving sugar/sweets altogether.



How did you get started with your devotionals. I read this in the Ultimate Career book last week but I am struggling with finding a direction for my readings.
Well, I was born and raised in a religious household growing up, so maybe that has always played a part in my devotion. I've always read the bible over the years, but I just felt like I needed to do more and really make it my aim to do a full in-depth (REGULAR) study and reading of the bible. I think it will definitely benefit me in the long run. I just downloaded a bible reading schedule online. If you want I can PM it to you.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

The person who most comes to mind in terms of the feminine appeal was Elizabeth Taylor, Sophia Loren and many black women I know in real life. I think Dorothy had that feminine appeal but there was something tragic in her that you could see in her eyes. Another woman that I really think comes to mind is Kate of Windsor. I mean this woman was middle class, she was bullied and yet she worked on herself and she defied all expectations and married Prince William. She is an example of fresh, feminine, not overdoing it and staying true to herself.

Best,
Almond Eyes

Oh okay, now that you mention the full context of the story, his asking you about your makeup doesn't sound as bad/offensive lol. I think maybe he just wanted to see a more "natural" you.

You bring out some good points. You're right, most men want a "natural 10" but we as women know that this very RARELY exists lol. It's all smoke and mirrors. I always chuckle to myself when I hear men say that they don't like women who wear makeup lol. Yet here they are oogling and drooling over the Beyonce's, Kate Uptons and Jennifer Lopez's of the world lol Ummm...men don't get it. MOST women wear some type of makeup. What the men mean is that they dont' want it to LOOK like you're wearing makeup lol.

I DO agree that too much of anything can give off a desperate vibe to men and people in general.

Oh and you're right on the money with Duchess Kate of Cambridge. She is yet another one that totally reinvented herself and adopted a new look that was fashionable yet classy. She wasn't an ugly girl...but she was just very plain. I give her tons of credit. She went from frumpy college student to classy upper-class Princess lol.

BEFORE


















Ummmm....yeah............






AFTER

So.....Basically ladies....we can ALL step up our games a little bit if we just want to. I think dressing more femininely automatically steps up your game somewhat because that seems to be a lost art these days...

 

[TracyNicole]

@TracyNicole
If you want I can PM it to you.

Please do! Thank you.

 

[Kimbosheart]

whew, y'all have been active today. I finally have a moment to catch up and weigh in on this discussion.

I will spill the beans on the issue once it's resolved. We did have a conversation last night and this morning but I think we both need some time to process. I mentioned to y'all that this is my summer of fun so I am working hard to not worry, focus on the moment. He needs to apologize and he will...but men are so stubborn. Good thing today and tonight are pretty busy for me.

My mom and grandma are the most feminine women I personally know. I have learned so much about keeping a happy marriage, a welcome home and good reputation. In one of Melina's books she wrote "an old saying declares that the French woman puts on her gloves before she leaves her room, and the English woman puts on hers as she is going out of the front door"

Maybe it is the creole heritage but I added that quote to my book notes because it reminds me so much of what I saw growing up in my mom and grandma's houses. The first thing I had to do as a child when I woke up was make my bed, wash my face, brush my teeth, fix my hair and then and only then could I go downstairs and greet my family. If I had extended family in my home, I had to change into my day clothes. No coming into the main areas of the house in my nightgown.

So while this is not caking on makeup and wearing lot's of enhancements I think this is providing a fresh friendly face to your spouse and keeping the bedroom even more intimate. My grandmother at 85 still applies her red lipstick and gets her nails and toes done. She still wears heels, lower heels, but she always has a nice shoe to go with her pant suit. And she goes to the beauty college to keep her hair cut. She has a cute little pixie cut right now. My mom is more bohemian but even then her hair is her glory and it's waistlength and died jet black. She wears long flowy skirts and her handbag and shoe game is on point. I'm seriously trying to be like them as I grow up. Both my mom and grandma danced in their younger days and they still do workouts from their era. My grandma takes belly dancing with her BFF and my mom does Callanetics and walks.

So without having to go back to a set style of dress or make-up. I think it's in those presentation efforts that express the femininity outwardly. Inwardly, my grandma especially, they have a contentment with their lives. My mom is more past focused for other reasons. But my grandma is very happy with God's blessings and that makes her such a warm and fun person to be around. So I think we are all on the right track for getting to our most feminine selves in and out. I really think there is magic in knowing how to enjoy the moment.

For those of us who are out of our family homes/towns and unmarried it is does require an effort to keep these habits we learned at home. But the effort is well worth it.

A few tips. B5 pantothenic acid stops cystic acne and helps with oily skin. You may have to take it in higher doses at first but then you can scale back.

For a special event or when I feel a breakout, I will eat 3-4(or more) of these collagen chews, the next day I have smooth glassy skin.

Now, my real secret and I've said it before on here is Callanetics. Watch the video once and then pulse away while watching tv. Please just google image search "callanetics before and after" these women haven't lost much weight but they have smoother, curvier figures.

With makeup, if you're Kim K and full glam than do it. I'm not. I have powder, tinted moisturizer, medium coverage liquid foundation, and full coverage stick foundation. Each one has a specific use to match.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

My mom and grandma are the most feminine women I personally know. I have learned so much about keeping a happy marriage, a welcome home and good reputation. In one of Melina's books she wrote "an old saying declares that the French woman puts on her gloves before she leaves her room, and the English woman puts on hers as she is going out of the front door"

Maybe it is the creole heritage but I added that quote to my book notes because it reminds me so much of what I saw growing up in my mom and grandma's houses. The first thing I had to do as a child when I woke up was make my bed, wash my face, brush my teeth, fix my hair and then and only then could I go downstairs and greet my family. If I had extended family in my home, I had to change into my day clothes. No coming into the main areas of the house in my nightgown.

So while this is not caking on makeup and wearing lot's of enhancements I think this is providing a fresh friendly face to your spouse and keeping the bedroom even more intimate. My grandmother at 85 still applies her red lipstick and gets her nails and toes done. She still wears heels, lower heels, but she always has a nice shoe to go with her pant suit.

Omg your grandma reminds me of my great aunt and my grandmother's mother. My mom always said that her grandmother (my great grandmother) NEVER even came down the stairs from the bedroom without bathing, a FULL face of makeup, and a nice ironed clean apron on. She wouldn't even go downstairs to make her husband breakfast without doing this. Now granted, it was definitely a MUCH different time back then, but still!

It's a shame that women have lost this fine art.

I make up my bed before heading out to work on MOST days....but when I'm late or rushing, that little detail can get missed... I need to remind myself to get up just 15 minutes earlier (if possible) just to make sure I pay more attention to the fine little "details" in my dress and grooming. I find that when I leave my house with the dishes washed, bed made, and looking and smelling nice, I am ready to conquer the day and I feel GREAT!

My grandma takes belly dancing with her BFF and my mom does Callanetics and walks.

Watch out now!!!! I wanna be like your granny when I grow up!

But my grandma is very happy with God's blessings and that makes her such a warm and fun person to be around. So I think we are all on the right track for getting to our most feminine selves in and out. I really think there is magic in knowing how to enjoy the moment.

^^THIS!!! I've been reading articles about this and I think it's true! Even that book I posted about "Powerful & Feminine" stated that being "in the moment" is one of the BEST and easiest ways you can "turn on" your feminine radiance and essence.

A few tips. B5 pantothenic acid stops cystic acne and helps with oily skin. You may have to take it in higher doses at first but then you can scale back.

Thanks for this!!! I think I'm going to check this out. Is this just a vitamin you take? Can you get it at any healthfood store? Or is there a specific brand you suggest?

Now, my real secret and I've said it before on here is Callanetics. Watch the video once and then pulse away while watching tv. Please just google image search "callanetics before and after" these women haven't lost much weight but they have smoother, curvier figures.
.

Hmmm....I usually sleep on callinetics, but I may have to start picking it up again. I know years ago when I was still in college I used to do Pilates, and I have to admit, my stomach/abs/core/waistline looked SOO much better! I had the Windsor Pilates DVD collection. I think I threw away the dvds after I moved...or maybe I gave them to someone else. I probably should have kept them...darn...

 

[Kimbosheart]

Here's the link to mine

Read the reviews. People with really bad acne take a very high dose. I wouldn't recommend that. I take 1 pill a day and I noticed a difference in about 2 weeks. Take it with a little bit of fat and a glass of water.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000N...vitamin+b5&dpPl=1&dpID=41f-I5Uy9JL&ref=plSrch

 

[Kimbosheart]

Im traveling like crazy this month and I have a move but when this is all settled. I'm going to quit processed sugar and up my water from 2L a day to 3L. I think a month of that will do wonders for me. And maybe just do a month of deliberate gratitude journaling.

 

[ArrrBeee]

@TracyNicole

If you want to begin a reading regimen, start with Proverbs on the 1st of the month. There are 31 books and it makes it easy to keep track of the schedule. From there, you can read James which is like the Proverbs of the New Testament.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

@TracyNicole

If you want to begin a reading regimen, start with Proverbs on the 1st of the month. There are 31 books and it makes it easy to keep track of the schedule. From there, you can read James which is like the Proverbs of the New Testament.

Oh yes.....I'm striving to be the "Proverbs 31:10 Woman"!!!

I've always enjoyed that whole chapter. In fact, Proverbs is one of my favorite books of the bible. So much practical wisdom. Proverbs 18:22 also reminds me to stay in the "receptive" mode and NOT to pursue men. Great read.

 

[sweetvi]

you guys need to check out Tear This Heart Out on netflix. Im not even paying attention to the story line because I am admiring the womans attire, demeanor, and mannerisms. They even had a scene where the women are learning how to cook and I am like we missed out on that. They are so elegant and pretty

 

[Kimbosheart]

Thank you for the movie review. We need a master document of books/blogs; movies; products that help increase femininity.

 

[TracyNicole]

That's a great idea. Maybe everyone can post the resources they know and then we can compile it in one post. Maybe a pdf or jollygal can perhaps edit the OP.

 

[almond eyes]

Oh okay, now that you mention the full context of the story, his asking you about your makeup doesn't sound as bad/offensive lol. I think maybe he just wanted to see a more "natural" you.

You bring out some good points. You're right, most men want a "natural 10" but we as women know that this very RARELY exists lol. It's all smoke and mirrors. I always chuckle to myself when I hear men say that they don't like women who wear makeup lol. Yet here they are oogling and drooling over the Beyonce's, Kate Uptons and Jennifer Lopez's of the world lol Ummm...men don't get it. MOST women wear some type of makeup. What the men mean is that they dont' want it to LOOK like you're wearing makeup lol.

I DO agree that too much of anything can give off a desperate vibe to men and people in general.

Oh and you're right on the money with Duchess Kate of Cambridge. She is yet another one that totally reinvented herself and adopted a new look that was fashionable yet classy. She wasn't an ugly girl...but she was just very plain. I give her tons of credit. She went from frumpy college student to classy upper-class Princess lol.

BEFORE


















Ummmm....yeah............






AFTER

So.....Basically ladies....we can ALL step up our games a little bit if we just want to. I think dressing more femininely automatically steps up your game somewhat because that seems to be a lost art these days...

You captured Duchess Kate well!!!!She is a very good example of a plain jane who stepped her game up on many levels. And she worked on herself inside and out. There was a point when William dumped her and she was devastated but she didn't chase him she stepped up her game and he came back alright. And I do agree stepping your game up does really help and working on your inner confidence not chasing men down.

Also, Edward VII, Prince William's uncle gave up the British crown for divorcee Wallis Simpson. She was another woman who reinvented herself from working class American family to getting married to Edward VII. She wasn't pretty at all but she had style and grace.

Your comments are so insightful.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

you guys need to check out Tear This Heart Out on netflix. Im not even paying attention to the story line because I am admiring the womans attire, demeanor, and mannerisms. They even had a scene where the women are learning how to cook and I am like we missed out on that. They are so elegant and pretty

Wow! I'm definitely going to have to check this out! Idk what time frame the movie is set in, but one of the reasons why I LOVE watching old classic films is because the women were WOMEN, and the men were MEN. No blurred lines. Plus, most of the women were so classy in their dress and demeanor. ... makes me want to emulate some of that style. Plus, they just had a mysterious vibe about them that was seductive to men. I wanna perfect that lol

Thank you for the movie review. We need a master document of books/blogs; movies; products that help increase femininity.

Yes we do!

That's a great idea. Maybe everyone can post the resources they know and then we can compile it in one post. Maybe a pdf or jollygal can perhaps edit the OP.

That's a good idea! I wish there were a way to have one master list where EVERYONE could edit and post additional info/articles/tips as they find it, because sometimes I just find stuff later on as I'm perusing the Internet, or trying new things that are working for me, etc.

You captured Duchess Kate well!!!!She is a very good example of a plain jane who stepped her game up on many levels. And she worked on herself inside and out. There was a point when William dumped her and she was devastated but she didn't chase him she stepped up her game and her came back alright. And I do agree stepping your game up does really help and working on your inner confidence not chasing men down.

Also, Edward VII, Prince William's uncle gave up the British crown for divorcee Wallis Simpson. She was another woman who reinvented herself from working class American family to getting married to Edward VII. She wasn't pretty at all but she had style and grace.

Your comments are so insightful.

Best,
Almond Eyes

Yes, I LOVE stories like this because it shows me that ANY woman (regardless of looks or class) can transform themselves outwardly and inwardly to reflect a truly captivating woman. I had no idea about Edward! That shows that men will go after the woman they WANT, not necessarily the woman with nobility. But you have to dress, look, and act the part. Maybe that's why "My Fair Lady" is one of my favorite "transformation" movies lol "The Princess Diaries" is also another good one. I just love transformation movies lol!

And sometimes it's not even about having the money to dress well or get your hair professionally done (although money DOES help! Lol )......a lot of times it's just the STYLE that matters the most.

One thing I've noticed over the years is that Ppl rarely ask you where you buy your clothes lol. They just see how well it fits, and how well it is put together. People are constantly complimenting me on these designer-looking skinny jeans that are really cute that I wear. People's mouths always hit the floor when I tell them that I got them on sale at Walmart for $5 bucks! So it's not about the brand names. You can actually find some classy styles at cheaper stores. You don't have to obtain a Nordstrom credit card. You can even go consignment/thrift stores (especially in richer areas ) and find practically brand NEW clothes/items that rich women have given away. A lot of classy styles can be found there if you just look. A lot of times you can spend only$2 - $15 on designer brand material! I've gotten sine really nice items over the years, and I didn't have to break my wallet doing it either. Just try to buy quality if you can. And at department stores like Macy's, Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, White House|Black Market, etc I always check clearance racks first before shopping the main aisles. I have no shame! Those clearance items were just "hot off the rack" and full priced a few weeks ago, so they are still good lol.

Not only that, but I'm getting into sewing! In fact, one of my friends is going to show me today how to start reading patterns that I bought. You can make your own classy dresses, skirts, blouses, etc.

 

[ArrrBeee]

Last night I went out with a dinner group that I'm new to. One of the guys, who is ghey, was talking about another member and he said, "Oh, I just love her masculine energy. She just takes charge and tells you how we're going to do things."

It was funny but then it wasn't. Especially in light of our conversations in this thread. I'm reasonably sure that no straight man would ever say that about a woman.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Last night I went out with a dinner group that I'm new to. One of the guys, who is ghey, was talking about another member and he said, "Oh, I just love her masculine energy. She just takes charge and tells you how we're going to do things."

It was funny but then it wasn't. Especially in light of our conversations in this thread. I'm reasonably sure that no straight man would ever say that about a woman.

HAHAHA!

I'm sorry but his comment literally made me laugh out loud! Very interesting! Yea....a straight guy would definitely not say something like that lol. Was the girl he was talking about particularly "masculine" in her vibe to YOU personally? What was she doing? How was she acting? So I can do the complete opposite lol....

You know, something that really stood out to me in that book "the rules" was a comment that the authors made about how a man can actually really like and respect a woman who is very take charge and aggressive in the office place, and they may even really respect her opinions and her leadership. But the point was, these men very rarely, if ever, develop romantic feelings for these types of go-getter women because their vibe is not one that incites a man to want to protect, cherish, and have romantic feelings for her. Sort of like how growing up the tomboy girl may play sports and have all these guys respecting her gaming skills, but it's not until she puts on a dress that the guys start to view her differently.

I always thought that was very interesting and I always remember that quote. Because I think for a very long time I used to feel like I had to be the smart one, the competent one, the one to show men how responsible and competent I was in order to garner respect. The problem is, you get respect, but you don't get romantic feelings. It's sad but I'm finally starting to learn how to play the game lol. And I actually find that when I become more receptive (instead of aggressive, competitive, and trying to one up someone lol) and I bring out more of my natural feminine side, I feel a LOT better and more myself. I can just relax, and rest easy.

 

[ArrrBeee]

HAHAHA!

I'm sorry but his comment literally made me laugh out loud! Very interesting! Yea....a straight guy would definitely not say something like that lol. Was the girl he was talking about particularly "masculine" in her vibe to YOU personally? What was she doing? How was she acting? So I can do the complete opposite lol....

You know, something that really stood out to me in that book "the rules" was a comment that the authors made about how a man can actually really like and respect a woman who is very take charge and aggressive in the office place, and they may even really respect her opinions and her leadership. But the point was, these men very rarely, if ever, develop romantic feelings for these types of go-getter women because their vibe is not one that incites a man to want to protect, cherish, and have romantic feelings for her. Sort of like how growing up the tomboy girl may play sports and have all these guys respecting her gaming skills, but it's not until she puts on a dress that the guys start to view her differently.

I always thought that was very interesting and I always remember that quote. Because I think for a very long time I used to feel like I had to be the smart one, the competent one, the one to show men how responsible and competent I was in order to garner respect. The problem is, you get respect, but you don't get romantic feelings. It's sad but I'm finally starting to learn how to play the game lol. And I actually find that when I become more receptive (instead of aggressive, competitive, and trying to one up someone lol) and I bring out more of my natural feminine side, I feel a LOT better and more myself. I can just relax, and rest easy.

Totally agree with all the bolded. I didn't meet the lady in question, but there was another one at the table who also lacked feminine energy. She had a furrowed brow, spoke in an authoritative voice and didn't seem friendly. The table host tried to blame it on her German roots.

 

[almond eyes]

I came into this thread accidentally and I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[TracyNicole]

Has anyone ever purchased from www.pinupgirlclothing.com? As I was really reflecting on what I want my finished product to look like on the outside, I am really in love with a more retro style. I stumbled across this website and am wondering what the quality is like. Strangely, I am also appreciating the Talbots aesthetic although I remember thinking eww old people store when I was younger

 

[Fine 4s]

Sometimes I feel like my mother failed me. A woman needs to know these things!
Still luh her though....

 

[almond eyes]

Dita von Tesse comes to mind as a femme belle. She transformed herself from plain jane blond hair to dark haired femme burlesque. Some women really know how to use their sexuality but other women like Marilyn Monroe she changed her image but couldn't handle the negative attention it caused.

Ava Gardner also transformed herself from southern girl on a farm to big movie star. The problem though was that she started to drink to handle her nerves and ended up with serious drinking issues.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[BK Bombshell]

Has anyone ever purchased from www.pinupgirlclothing.com? As I was really reflecting on what I want my finished product to look like on the outside, I am really in love with a more retro style. I stumbled across this website and am wondering what the quality is like. Strangely, I am also appreciating the Talbots aesthetic although I remember thinking eww old people store when I was younger

No, but I bought this dress from Stop Staring which is a similar site:

and it used to fit like a glove, but now it's too big. I'm much curvier than the model and I got TONS of compliments whenever I wore it. I'm going to see if I can take it in, if not, I'll probably sell it on eBay. I also have another dress from Stop Staring, but I can't find a picture of it to post. Anyway, the quality of both dresses is excellent. They're very well made and I'd definitely recommend buying from that company.

I also bought a cute halter dress from Trashy Diva. It's similar to this one, but solid turquoise:

I'm always on the Pinup Girl site, but I'm waiting until I hit my goal weight before buying anything else.

I'm a big fan of retro clothes.

 

[awhyley]

I was unaware of the benefits of probiotics and B5 etc. (esp. on the acne). And I totally agree with Kimboheart on having a master list for feminine references. We have a 'Sense and Sensuality' thread, but I think that's not really of the level of what we're trying to achieve here. Those before and after Kate pics did wonders for my perspective.

@TracyNicole
How did you get started with your devotionals. I read this in the Ultimate Career book last week but I am struggling with finding a direction for my readings.
Well, I was born and raised in a religious household growing up, so maybe that has always played a part in my devotion. I've always read the bible over the years, but I just felt like I needed to do more and really make it my aim to do a full in-depth (REGULAR) study and reading of the bible. I think it will definitely benefit me in the long run. I just downloaded a bible reading schedule online. If you want I can PM it to you.

Please PM me as well with the details. An actual schedule may keep me more on track.