caribeandiva
Human being
Again, did anyone get a reply from Melina about those borderline racist things she posted a few weeks ago?
Again, did anyone get a reply from Melina about those borderline racist things she posted a few weeks ago?
Just a quick check-in...I don't know if it's from reading "Powerful and Feminine" and doing the exercises, the warm weather, or my pheromones..but it's been kinda popping with the menfolks lately..like popping ..and I just feel pretty lol.
YOU are the prize
I was interviewed yesterday as a guest speaker for a love tele-summit on the topic of how to choose love over fear when dating.
The host asked me what’s the #1 thing I want women to know. And this is what I said:
YOU are the prize. Men are here to SERVE you.
You see, I truly believe that if women could understand in their bones that THEY are the prize when it comes to love and dating, things would shift.
I want you to take a moment right now and really think about it.
You are a WOMAN. Receptivity is your birthright. You’ve got magic and mystery and deep intuition inside. YOUR beauty and femininity have the power to bring men to their knees. (yes, it’s really true)
You don’t have to go out there and chase men. You don’t have to hide who you are, or be who you think your man wants you to be in order to make him stay.
You just have to get that you’re worth it, and things will shift.
The truth is, if you’re showing up as a REAL woman in your life, then it’s a privilege for a man to be let into your world. (stay tuned for an upcoming post on what it means to be a real woman)
You want to be with a man who feels so damn lucky that you’re his girl. But that won’t happen until you feel so damn lucky that you get to be YOU.
Imagine for a a moment, a world where women truly got this. Where women didn’t feel the need to chase after unavailable men, have sex sooner than they want just to “keep a man” or lose themselves just to be in a relationship.
Imagine if you could go from feeling insecure and confused in love to feeling beautiful, confident and secure enough to know that whoever gets to be with you is a lucky man.
That happened for my client Elisabeth, who found herself divorced at age 47 and single for the first time in more than 20 years.
When we first started working together, Elisabeth was in total masculine mode and feeling like she had to pursue men to make things happen. She would call and text them time and time again to hang out, but they would often avoid her or end up canceling and blowing her off.
I coached Elisabeth to release the limiting beliefs, childhood traumas and fear-based behaviors that were causing her to doubt her worth. I also gave her a ton of practical exercises to increase her self-love, embrace her femininity and really start enjoying her life again.
The result was that she fully claimed her power as a woman. Something in her shifted. She felt truly beautiful for the first time in years. She felt like the prize.
And because she shifted how she felt about herself internally, the men she attracted on the outside world shifted.
In less than 6 months of working together, she went from being single and chasing men to having a bunch of available, great men pursue her.
And the one that she liked the most CHOSE her. He was so impressed that she wasn’t like all the other girls. She was confident and secure in herself, and that made him WANT to be with her.
What makes me really happy is that so many months later, they’re still together
What would your love life look like if you truly got that you are the prize?
How would you show up on dates if you truly got your worth as a woman?
How would you show up with your man if you believed that he was there to serve you, and that you being happy is what makes him happy?
There’s no magic formula to owning your worth. But the first step is always that you just have to DECIDE that you’re worth it.
And then get really, really clear on all of the reasons why.
If you’re anything like me and I asked you to make a list of why you’re not good enough, you could probably come up with a nice long list. I want you to do the opposite.
Right now, make a long list of all of the reasons why you are so totally worth it, and why you deserve a man who loves and adores you. Don’t stop until you’ve got at least 10 reasons.
If you’re having trouble coming up with them, hit REPLY to this email with the subject line “HELP ME CLAIM MY WORTH” and I’ll see if I can help.
I’d love to support you in owning your power and confidence as a woman.
Xo,
Nicole
PS: Would you like to be dating a whole new caliber of men just a few months from now? Or have the man you’re with transform before your very eyes into a man who loves and adores you?
The trick is, you’ve got to release all of your limiting beliefs and fears first so you can fully claim your worth.
The Save Your Love Life 3 Hour Coaching Intensive is designed to help you release all that’s blocking you from feeling confident in love. We remove years and years of gunk in just 1 day so you can shine bright again and love who you are. If you want to feel like the prize, click on the link and sign up now. It’s your perfect next step.
SOURCE
I thought this article was very nice and definitely in line with what being a "Feminine Belle" is about...
The article is more about relationships, but the mindset is really what grabbed me... RECEPTIVITY. Definitely a Feminine quality.
Here's the article:
Girlllll why does this thread have me spending money. I love love this article. Thank you so much. Very insightful.
I figured out why so many women lack femininity. Our mother's don't send us to etiquette school anymore. My grandmother and her sisters were sent, my aunts went, but when it got to my generations it stopped.
I'm surprised I have the amount of femininity I have considering how my mother acts. My mother isn't very feminine. She talks aggressively, she will belch and pass gas, she'll scratch places that should be scratched in front of other people. And I am completely appalled and I'll tell her that it's not okay to do those things. And she tells me I'm uptight.
Luckily, my grandmother was there to balance out my mother or I would be as bad as her. My grandmother tried to teach her things, but she wasn't interested.
http://etiquette-ny.com/social-success-makeover/
^^Oh nerdography you hit the nail on the head. I think it coincides with women entering the workforce. See this is why I am not a "feminist". I truly believe women have the right to work and should receive equal pay but I don't think obliterating our femininity is the way to go about it. Finishing school no longer happens, home economics isn't generally offered anymore and yet women are actually expected to do more with less education. It makes no sense. I think our parents generation was where the major changes started to happen in terms of rejecting our femininity as weakness.
I would love to see a movement where we recognize that the brunt of the work for managing the household and rearing children still falls on the female partner. Then maybe we could actually see a revival of the support systems needed to make those things work smoothly and whether or not a woman works outside the home or not will no longer be seen as a failure/competition/status war. Maybe, just maybe a bit of class would then come back to this country. Women civilize men and children by acting as ladies...as women have turned to acting more like men the effects have just been disastrous.
My mom is sort of like your mom. She doesn't blech or scratch lol, but over the years (I guess due to all of the high-powered jobs she's had), she has become soooooo aggressive!! Plus she gets easily upset and angry at times at people (the typical ABWS --- "Angry Black Woman Syndrome" ), and my sister and I just wish she would cool down and ease up a little. I'm kind of suspecting that her behavior is one of the small reasons why she and my stepdad have problems in their marriage. But that's a whole different topic altogether lol.
I know a lot of women (especially "femininst") will disagree with me, but I think the feminist movement killed the feminine spirit, and in turn killed men's chivalry. It's sad that men equate equal pay to not having to open doors for women anymore , but in a way I can sort of see their point. When we started to COMPETE with men, we in turn made them see us as fellow men. Instead of competing, we should try to still bring a feminine vibe to the workforce and use our OWN natural talents (our intuition, our grace, our personable skills, etc.) to the office, instead of minimizing our feminine traits and viewing them as "less than" men.
I think we should have the same equal pay as men, but I don't think we should feel the need to BE LIKE MEN in order to have that! To want to BE like men almost gives the impression that somehow being a woman is somehow inferior to being a man.We're just different, and women should EMBRACE those differences. There is something that gets stirred up in a man when he is around a woman who acts like a WOMAN. But when we try to act like men, the consequences are awful.
Now granted, of course, I'm talking strictly from a US/Euro-centric view.....I know in some cultures or countries women are treated horribly simply for being women...so I can see how some would want to denounce their femininity in order to get fair/better treatment. But I don't think the feminist movement was the answer. There HAS to be a balance.
You're welcome girl! That wasn't my intent lol, but if you get some gold nuggets from her coaching session, by all means please share on here w/the rest of us!!
That article helped me as well. It's not anything "new" that I haven't heard before, but it's just a GOOD reminder. I INSTANTLY feel a real SHIFT when I calm myself down, become centered, and keep in mind that I am the Prize. It's amazing how when you recognize that you are the prize suddenly you don't have any desire to chase after guys, try to "make things happen", or TRY so hard with men/love anymore. I like to think of myself as being one big huge magnet. I think we as women are basically magnets!!! We are receptive to whatever comes our way. Receptivity is the epitome of being feminine and being a woman imo. Of course, sometimes what we tell ourselves that we deserve ends up being what we attract into our lives, but as this article is suggesting, we can CHANGE all of that!
Really decide TODAY that you are worth it. I'm going to take her suggestion and make a list of at least 10 reasons why I am worth it and a "catch", and why any man would be so fortunate to have me. I don't think we as women do that enough. I think we're always so busy being so hard on ourselves. But I can see how if I just wrote down why I'm "a catch" every day, pretty I would be walking around like I'm a boss.
OMG I feel like I could have written this very post!!! I think you hit the nail on the head. Etiquette is definitely something that is NOT taught. I know it sounds geeky, but I have ALWAYS wanted to take etiquette class or go to those catiliions lol... I just want to know how to "behave" in certain high class situations. My family members have taught me over the years some things, but I've always wanted to take a FORMAL class (even just one session!) on feminine etiquette.
My mom is sort of like your mom. She doesn't belch or scratch lol, but over the years (I guess due to all of the high-powered jobs she's had), she has become soooooo aggressive!! Plus she gets easily upset and angry at times at people (the typical ABWS --- "Angry Black Woman Syndrome" ), and my sister and I just wish she would cool down and ease up a little. I'm kind of suspecting that her behavior is one of the small reasons why she and my stepdad have problems in their marriage. But that's a whole different topic altogether lol.
The funny thing is, at her core, I think my mom is definitely very feminine. She has a kind and generous heart, and she will give you the shirt off her back if you're in a bind. She's one of the most giving people that I know. But it's almost as if life has made her two different people. She wasn't always so aggressive. In fact, before she used to be very meek and mild (maybe she was always slightly firery lol ), and definitely NOT aggressive at all. But her life experiences with men and on the job have changed her.
My grandmother (her mother) on the other hand was the epitome of class, grace, and femininity. And since we all lived with her, I took up some of her ways. I think this is why even though my mom has some aggressiveness about her, she still has some softness in her bones at her core, because she was raised by my grandmother. She was all about proper posture, proper grammar, no elbows on the dinner table, napkin your laps, eat your soup the 'correct way', etc. type of woman. She wasn't a stickler or anything, but she just taught us the "proper way" of doing things. How ladies sit, how we don't burp or pass gas in front of others lol....etc.
Unfortunately it seems like this type of "teaching" is a lost art.
^^
I couldn't agree more.
I know a lot of women (especially "femininst") will disagree with me, but I think the feminist movement killed the feminine spirit, and in turn killed men's chivalry. It's sad that men equate equal pay to not having to open doors for women anymore , but in a way I can sort of see their point. When we started to COMPETE with men, we in turn made them see us as fellow men. Instead of competing, we should try to still bring a feminine vibe to the workforce and use our OWN natural talents (our intuition, our grace, our personable skills, etc.) to the office, instead of minimizing our feminine traits and viewing them as "less than" men.
I think we should have the same equal pay as men, but I don't think we should feel the need to BE LIKE MEN in order to have that! To want to BE like men almost gives the impression that somehow being a woman is somehow inferior to being a man.We're just different, and women should EMBRACE those differences. There is something that gets stirred up in a man when he is around a woman who acts like a WOMAN. But when we try to act like men, the consequences are awful.
Now granted, of course, I'm talking strictly from a US/Euro-centric view.....I know in some cultures or countries women are treated horribly simply for being women...so I can see how some would want to denounce their femininity in order to get fair/better treatment. But I don't think the feminist movement was the answer. There HAS to be a balance.
Um mmmmm she too damn pricey. No thanks. Lmao
2 freaking thousand bucks
We are here to coach each other. For the low price of $6.50, which you've already paid.
Thanks to this thread, once I finish traveling this month I'm going back to ballet classes. At least 2 per week.
I love it we are here for each other. I am also taking ballet, it is one of the best things I did for myself. I only take it once a week because I have belly dancing one another day. If I had found ballet earlier my career might be completely different.
Ooooh I am watching the Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe right now and seriously, I am about to change how I watch TV. I want to check out movies featuring black actresses who are/were very feminine as I work on reinventing myself. I need material to work from. I want to leave men speechless!
Can u give us some 'feminine' tips you learned?