Feminine Belles - Info/discussion/support Thread

[TracyNicole]

It's always great to see a post from you. I hope all is well.

Happy Thanksgiving Ladies

All is well. I have been quietly reflecting. Alison's books really changed my life for the better and I am trying to decide the best medium for sharing what's been happening lately. I hope you are all well. I have a ton of posts to finish reading through and then I need to hop on goodreads and catch up there too so I can contribute meaningful sharing rather than repeating what's already been said!

 

[TracyNicole]

Just a heads up for those interested in Dita's new book (or any other) Amazon is offering 30% off a book using the code holiday30.

 

[ladysaraii]

Did anyone get Dita's book? The preview on Amazon looks great!

 

[LovingLady]

For example, I'm trying to understand a man who in a group setting suggested that a woman leave the group BY HERSELF and go out into the dark wintery night to head home because the rest of the group was trying to figure out the check and she paid in cash.

What were his exact words.

 

[almond eyes]

Did anyone get Dita's book? The preview on Amazon looks great!

I have downloaded it. Listen her make up and hair tips can only go so far for us darker complexioned women but I think she does a good job at hitting home the message that beauty is an art and discipline and she is an expert at that. I am glad to be reading it though because I like Dita and she isn't afraid to wear make up or be feminine. I had to remind myself that the book is purely about the art of make up, lingerie, hair, upkeep/maintenance not about enticing. Though the art of being feminine is an enticement.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Kimbosheart]

Thank you for that review. I downloaded the sample and I didn't get enough info to tell if it would be a good book or not n

 

[ladysaraii]

I have downloaded it. Listen her make up and hair tips can only go so far for us darker complexioned women but I think she does a good job at hitting home the message that beauty is an art and discipline and she is an expert at that. I am glad to be reading it though because I like Dita and she isn't afraid to wear make up or be feminine. I had to remind myself that the book is purely about the art of make up, lingerie, hair, upkeep/maintenance not about enticing. Though the art of being feminine is an enticement.

Best,
Almond Eyes

Thanks. I think I may buy it since it seems to cover a lot. I read an interview she did about the book that sold me on it.

I'll just go in with the understanding that I'll have to find black makeup and hair tips elsewhere.

 

[TracyNicole]

I purchased the book and I love it. I totally agree with almondeyes in her assessment of the book. Many of the messages I've picked up on so far have already been shared here on the forum but I am still happy with my purchase. It is a hardcover book with beautiful photos and I really enjoy having a start to finish resource.
Although all of the makeup tips wouldn't work for darker skin tones, the book is so much more than that. I enjoyed her discussion about working out, proper nutrition, etc. I did get the discount price on Black Friday and it was worth it!

 

[Belle Du Jour]

What were his exact words.

Dang I don't remember exactly...something like "if you need to leave while we take care of this (the check issue) you can..." Maybe he was thinking that she needed to get home to go to work? To ME it seemed callous at the time. Maybe I was mistaken.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I have downloaded it. Listen her make up and hair tips can only go so far for us darker complexioned women but I think she does a good job at hitting home the message that beauty is an art and discipline and she is an expert at that. I am glad to be reading it though because I like Dita and she isn't afraid to wear make up or be feminine. I had to remind myself that the book is purely about the art of make up, lingerie, hair, upkeep/maintenance not about enticing. Though the art of being feminine is an enticement.

Best,
Almond Eyes

My copy should arrive tomorrow. I am looking forward to the pictures. I think her feminine style can translate across all races, even if her specific tips can't be applied to us. I think she also has cultivated a lifestyle of glamour and femininity and I'm looking forward to learning more about that.

 

[LovingLady]

@Belle Du Jour

Generally when a man talks his words are straight to the point, which some off as cold and callous. On the other hand, with a women, their words are presented in a flowery way to sound more kind and gentle. In addition to that, men can only solve one problem at a time (from what I've heard), so his concern was on the check not the snow. With those two things, in combination with the bad weather, I can see why you would have felt that way. Based on the phrasing, I just think he didn't want to waste her time.

 

[sharifeh]

i want to dive into this thread- i guess i will start with this book

 

[caribeandiva]

i want to dive into this thread- i guess i will start with this book

You won't regret it

 

[Kimbosheart]

My Dita book arrived. Y'all didn't tell me it was so big.

 

[ladysaraii]

My Dita book arrived. Y'all didn't tell me it was so big.

I got the kindle. I want to read it over the holiday so I can't be lugging hat big thing everywhere.

 

[ladysaraii]

@Kimbosheart @TracyNicole @almond eyes @Belle Du Jour

Have you all read any of Dita's book yet? What do y'all think?

 

[TracyNicole]

@Kimbosheart it is big, but isn't it beautiful?
@ladysaraii inhave started reading it. I made an executive decision to jump on this year's That Girl Challenge with Dita's tenants in mind. Right now I am trying to write out my game plan. She had some great info about how she treats her body and it's an area that I really need to nail down so I've paused in my reading but so far I'm really enjoying it!

 

[almond eyes]

@Kimbosheart @TracyNicole @almond eyes @Belle Du Jour

Have you all read any of Dita's book yet? What do y'all think?

Dita is exhaustive about her routine. After a bit I was like okay a bit bored only because she talked a lot of hair and clearly we don't have the same hair type. For me the gist is that grooming and maintenance is work and women should not feel ashamed of that and it is more than putting on make up. Dita's whole profession is based upon looking and feeling her best the average woman doesn't have so much time but you have to create your own beauty and grooming routine that is unique to each woman.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Kimbosheart]

@Kimbosheart it is big, but isn't it beautiful?
@ladysaraii inhave started reading it. I made an executive decision to jump on this year's That Girl Challenge with Dita's tenants in mind. Right now I am trying to write out my game plan. She had some great info about how she treats her body and it's an area that I really need to nail down so I've paused in my reading but so far I'm really enjoying it!

I haven't made it to the hair section but I actually really like the book. I expect it to be very much about her personal routine which doesn't work for my day to day life but I have picked out a lot of gems so far and I'm about 150 pages in. For instance, I love how she has specific words for the look, scent, whatever she is trying to evoke. The word "allure" struck me and I'm brainstorming ways to evoke that quality in my presentation. She recommended an "at-home" uniform that would be easy for me to incorporate into my life. She also gave lots of little tips for glamorizing every day things. My next sewing project will probably be a nice knee length vintage style wrap skirt as dance cover-up vs. my VS pink sweats. I found her very inspiring in terms of stepping up my presentation.

 

[BK Bombshell]

I really liked the book too. I see it as not so much of a step-by-step guide, but more for inspirational purposes.

I love her meticulous attention to detail and her honesty about how much work it takes. It's also a good reminder that even though you can put certain routines into place, you still have to discipline yourself to continue those routines. There are quite a few things I want to emulate, but I'll have to adapt them to my life. I want to continue putting self-care first and this book really inspires me to improve in a few areas. Like @Kimbosheart, I'm working on my "at-home uniform" as well as a casual day outfit. Around here, everyone wears exercise clothes all day long so putting in minimal effort will definitely make me stand out, but I have to make that change for myself.

I skimmed much of the hair section too, but to me that didn't detract from the book because there was so much else to learn. Same with the makeup section as I always wear a cat eye and often with a red lip.

Finally, I liked her message that you have to be true to who you are even if other people don't like it (I had no idea that people didn't like her). And I was very happy to see Angelique Noire recognized; she's one of the few modern Black pinups I'm familiar with.

 

[Kimbosheart]

We should all have a personalized version of her glam by the minute routines on page 136.

I also like how she broke down scheduling- like noting it in my planner to experiment with hair and makeup and taking an inventory of what needs replacing and what Id like to add to my toolkit.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

@Kimbosheart @TracyNicole @almond eyes @Belle Du Jour

Have you all read any of Dita's book yet? What do y'all think?

I skimmed it but I loved what I read so far and the pictures.

 

[ladysaraii]

@Kimbosheart it is big, but isn't it beautiful?
@ladysaraii inhave started reading it. I made an executive decision to jump on this year's That Girl Challenge with Dita's tenants in mind. Right now I am trying to write out my game plan. She had some great info about how she treats her body and it's an area that I really need to nail down so I've paused in my reading but so far I'm really enjoying it!

This is my plan too. I need to finish reading. I haven't started the makeup section yet, but I want to start out with a solid skin care regimen.

I haven't made it to the hair section but I actually really like the book. I expect it to be very much about her personal routine which doesn't work for my day to day life but I have picked out a lot of gems so far and I'm about 150 pages in. For instance, I love how she has specific words for the look, scent, whatever she is trying to evoke. The word "allure" struck me and I'm brainstorming ways to evoke that quality in my presentation. She recommended an "at-home" uniform that would be easy for me to incorporate into my life. She also gave lots of little tips for glamorizing every day things. My next sewing project will probably be a nice knee length vintage style wrap skirt as dance cover-up vs. my VS pink sweats. I found her very inspiring in terms of stepping up my presentation.

I don't wear perfume bc I'm very sensitive to scents and even going into a fragrance shop can be overwhelming. However, it is inspiring me to find a way to find some scents in a way thAt I like that won't do me in.

We should all have a personalized version of her glam by the minute routines on page 136.

I also like how she broke down scheduling- like noting it in my planner to experiment with hair and makeup and taking an inventory of what needs replacing and what Id like to add to my toolkit.

I'll take a look at this, thanks!

I also think I have Iman's beauty book for women of color. I'll read that next for some black woman specific advice.

 

[TracyNicole]

@ladysarii Scentbird was a really nice option to avoid going into the store to search for fragrance. Their survey really helped me identify ones I was interested in trying. I had them send me three months worth and out of the three found one signature fragrance, another I really liked and the third one I just wouldn't purchase. It might be an option you'd like.

So ladies my game plan is really shaping up. I read her section on makeup today and remember how much I longed for a beauty mark when I was younger. If I weren't terrified of germs and needles I would get a tattoo like she did. . .

How is everyone preparing for the new year?

 

[almond eyes]

@ladysarii Scentbird was a really nice option to avoid going into the store to search for fragrance. Their survey really helped me identify ones I was interested in trying. I had them send me three months worth and out of the three found one signature fragrance, another I really liked and the third one I just wouldn't purchase. It might be an option you'd like.

So ladies my game plan is really shaping up. I read her section on makeup today and remember how much I longed for a beauty mark when I was younger. If I weren't terrified of germs and needles I would get a tattoo like she did. . .

How is everyone preparing for the new year?

I must say that ever since I stepped into this forum, I have been inspired to up my game. I have my beauty and grooming journal already started for 2016.

I used to hate fragrance because I was getting migraines when I was using the stronger perfumes years ago. But my mother got me back into again getting me into some of the milder and lighter fragrances. And now, I spray that stuff into my closet and I am addicted to light fragrance on me and my clothes.

I am doing a better job with my in home outfits.

I upped my skin care routine by using scrubs and masks again on my skin and since I started back again on that my skin is the clearest it has been in a while.

I do yoga and mild cardio twice a day. Though I would like to get into pilates in the near future.

Hair wise, I am growing nicely past the awkward stage but at home I have found a way to make my head wraps look nice rather than ostentatious or like I am the maid doing house work.

I also tint my eyebrows which gives my face definition in the day because I don't wear make up in the day. Thin eyebrows on me and my complexion makes me look tired and I don't like make up unless I am going out at night.

I am learning how to make my make up pop without it looking heavy. Learning to perfect my eyebrows and making them look thick without making them look unnatural has done wonders for my face.

I would like to get some nicer sleep wear, and stop wearing these baggy t shirts to bed.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Belle Du Jour]

So for the ladies who are working on being more feminine and/or doing TQC how are you dealing with all the new positive male attention? I have to admit that it makes me a little uncomfortable. . .anyone else experience that? How did you get over it?

 

[Ivonnovi]

Good question, I think as you get used to the "attention" it will be less uncomfortable for you/me.

I went to a conference today, where the men outnumbered the women by about 85%. It was really weird. I didn't think about it until I read your post @Belle Du Jour.

The attention was a little off-putting, BUT I didn't let it effect me. I felt like I kept my poise, professionalism, and was gracious.

• They guy sitting beside me (whose breath reeked of cheap gin) kept making small talk; I responded in kind but tried to keep MY focus on the speakers. Later found out that he was a speaker too.
  
  
• The guys behind us passed us souvenirs from their organization. We (me and the girl beside me) were not expecting it at all; they handed them to me, and I had to pass her's to her. She looked at me like "where did this come from?" ....Kanye shrugs......

This was a military function, and I assumed the attention was because I had a hat on with my former rank. I know the face doesn't match the rank; but I did it so that I would be taken seriously when I addressed the attendees. The other girl didn't have a hat/headgear and I assumed that was the difference in attention.

 

[ArrrBeee]

I just finished Dita's book and I agree that it has great advice. Some of it is unrealistic for my 9-5 life, but it could work when I'm out and about.

 

[greenandchic]

So for the ladies who are working on being more feminine and/or doing TQC how are you dealing with all the new positive male attention? I have to admit that it makes me a little uncomfortable. . .anyone else experience that? How did you get over it?

I think I'm used to it. It started after a massive weight loss back in 2007. Over the years I started dressing better, exercise and looking more feminine. I take it as the new normal for me. There are times when its a little weird. There was a guy working at Trader Joe's yesterday that gave me "the look" like he knew me. He proceeded to be extra nice and helpful. I wore my hair out and my hair gets a lot of attention (though I think I look better with it up).

 

[ArrrBeee]

So I've been rocking a new wig that's a little past shoulder length. It's been getting me lots of attention and as un pc as it sounds, there are some styles that get you more noticed than others.