52 Weeks Towards Divine Femininity

[Supervixen]

I polished my femininity today by

1. whipping up a spinach lasagna with white sauce from scratch. I'm still ill with Bronchitis and not hungry, so I didn't eat it during my OMAD eating window.

2. I made a conscious effort to smile, make eye contact and put my phone down whenever my husband spoke.

3. I made some calls and did some research about Urban Agriculture. I'm not sure if this will be my Feminine Mystique money because DH knows about this.

4. I went through some IXL.com exercises with my Pumpkin today.

5. Going to work on the RoR Wife Test in a few minutes.

6. Gotta get my self together here.

Yay!!!!!!

My Feminine/Wife/Motherhood goals are:
1. Loose the rest of my baby weight to offer my best Feminine presentation.
2. Give my husband the highest masculine respect I can everyday.
3. Develop passive income streams to build my Feminine Mystique Bank Account.
4. Prepare my girls for gifted and classical school tests. Any advices here?
5. Certify as a teacher with "Fascination Womanhood" and maybe a Roots of Royals Certified Wife.
6. Keep working on softening my voice and coaching my girls on their soft girly feminine voices.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Thanks for this!

In a real transparent moment, DH helped me realize I struggle with codependent relationships too. Mine aren't so much with men, but family and girlfriends. Offering unwarranted compassion can get me close to dangerous territory, so I needed this checklist to measure.

Me too. I’ve been helping a friend of mine but I get irritated that she doesn’t seem appreciative enough of my help and she seems to take it for granted at times. But I don’t realize the being appreciative piece is nice but it’s not guaranteed or mandatory on me. I did what I was supposed to do and that was be compassionate to her and her situation. BUT I had to realize to help HER I couldn’t go out of my way or put my stuff on hold. If my stuff couldn’t get done I couldn’t “help her out” even if it was small.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I polished my femininity today by

1. whipping up a spinach lasagna with white sauce from scratch. I'm still ill with Bronchitis and not hungry, so I didn't eat it during my OMAD eating window.

2. I made a conscious effort to smile, make eye contact and put my phone down whenever my husband spoke.

3. I made some calls and did some research about Urban Agriculture. I'm not sure if this will be my Feminine Mystique money because DH knows about this.

4. I went through some IXL.com exercises with my Pumpkin today.

5. Going to work on the RoR Wife Test in a few minutes.

6. Gotta get my self together here.

Did you take a picture of the lasagna? I never thought of meatless lasagna. That could be a good meatless entree for my family. And white sauce? May I have the recipe please?

 

[Supervixen]

Did you take a picture of the lasagna? I never thought of meatless lasagna. That could be a good meatless entree for my family. And white sauce? May I have the recipe please?

I didnt take pics or have a real recipe. So sorry.

I made a bechimel sauce with butter, flour, heavy whipping cream, salt, pepper and nutmeg.

Mixed ricotta, with sautéed spinach, onions and garlic.

Layered sauce, pasta sheets, ricotta mixture, seasonings and cheese a few times.

Bake covered on 375 for 15 mins and uncovered 400 for 15 mins.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I didnt take pics or have a real recipe. So sorry.

I made a bechimel sauce with butter, flour, heavy whipping cream, salt, pepper and nutmeg.

Mixed ricotta, with sautéed spinach, onions and garlic.

Layered sauce, pasta sheets, ricotta mixture, seasonings and cheese a few times.

Bake covered on 375 for 15 mins and uncovered 400 for 15 mins.

Oh, that's all I need love! You know I will go to the drawing board in a minute! I need to try this. I honestly don't think I've ever cooked fresh spinach. I usually just buy the frozen one, but I am trying to get into the habit of cooking fresh so this will be a good recipe for me to start.

 

[PrissiSippi]

@Zaynab pointed out a good tidbit about men.
She said that men like thank yous, but they really like their ego to be stroked because it ties back to the respect thing. Men appreciate RESPECT more than adoration. To cater to this aspect and RESPECT them is a very feminine trait and skill. To appeal to your SO's/DH manhood, hit him in his ego.

Examples​

"I really enjoy our dates. I have such respect for a man who knows how to date and court a woman. It's so wonderful to have a man who leads."


"I’m really thankful that you paid for the baby’s birthday party. I really admire your leadership in making sure we have plenty of family memories together."


"Thank you, honey for buying me an Air Fryer. I love a man that leads and makes sure I'm able to keep our family healthy. I don't know what I'd do without your leadership."

Zaynab made it a point to touch on the importance of tying everything back to their need for respect and to make them think you admire their leadership. NOTE: They might not yet be leading but it will put it in their heads that they are. This will further encourage them to lead.

This goes back to the Ro Elori Cutno phrase, "My husband is ALWAYS right." We know he is not always right. He's human and I get that. But family loyalty is important as well. Be a united front. AND the fact that his leadership is always evolving makes him always right because he is trying. Every little bit counts, and remember where he is the weakest in is where he needs the MOST compassion. The whole standing by him as he learns to lead is a big component of this. Make sure to find some small ways to stroke his ego.

Weekly Challenge #1​

How could you in passing stroke your husband's ego this week? If you decide to do this, please update us on what was his reaction.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

@Zaynab pointed out a good tidbit about men.
She said that men like thank yous, but they really like their ego to be stroked because it ties back to the respect thing. Men appreciate RESPECT more than adoration. To cater to this aspect and RESPECT them is a very feminine trait and skill. To appeal to your SO's/DH manhood, hit him in his ego.

Examples​

"I really enjoy our dates. I have such respect for a man who knows how to date and court a woman. It's so wonderful to have a man who leads."


"I’m really thankful that you paid for the baby’s birthday party. I really admire your leadership in making sure we have plenty of family memories together."


"Thank you, honey for buying me an Air Fryer. I love a man that leads and makes sure I'm able to keep our family healthy. I don't know what I'd do without your leadership."

Zaynab made it a point to touch on the importance of tying everything back to their need for respect and to make them think you admire their leadership. NOTE: They might not yet be leading but it will put it in their heads that they are. This will further encourage them to lead.

This goes back to the Ro Elori Cutno phrase, "My husband is ALWAYS right." We know he is not always right. He's human and I get that. But family loyalty is important as well. Be a united front. AND the fact that his leadership is always evolving makes him always right because he is trying. Every little bit counts, and remember where he is the weakest in is where he needs the MOST compassion. The whole standing by him as he learns to lead is a big component of this. Make sure to find some small ways to stroke his ego.

Weekly Challenge #1​

How could you in passing stroke your husband's ego this week? If you decide to do this, please update us on what was his reaction.

This is REALLY important. Men need their woman's admiration and respect more than anything. That's how they feel loved. And I love what you said about essentially planting the seed--that even if he isn't leading yet or leading perfectly he's a leader in YOUR eyes. He won't want to let you down.

 

[SimplyWhole]

I am looking for one accountability partner. We would talk on the phone at the beginning of each month - discuss our goals, accomplishments, and pray for each other. During the week we would send text and/or emails for encouragement and reminders.

 

[Zaynab]

This is REALLY important. Men need their woman's admiration and respect more than anything. That's how they feel loved. And I love what you said about essentially planting the seed--that even if he isn't leading yet or leading perfectly he's a leader in YOUR eyes. He won't want to let you down.

Respect is the key to getting a man to show you the love you want. If they feel respected and truly respected, they'll give and do anything for you. I think most women think they're being respectful to their spouses but in actuality they are not, it's very small things.

Ladies I'll be here cheering you on. Great thread.

 

[TracyNicole]

Hello ladies. I needed some extra time to reflect on how I wanted to get started. My goal this week is thinking about what needs to be done to keep my work at work.

I am currently working outside of the home and truly believe it gets in the way of my femininity. To me femininity = softness. In my workplace I have tried being firm almost to the point of sternness to get the job done.

Well I changed it up and made space for myself to do the work at work so that I can better maintain my softness. I realized much of my hard edges came from the resentment of needing to constantly work to keep up. Of course yesterday was the first day back and I accomplished all my work, left feeling light and happy and with enough energy to prepare my family a well rounded meal from scratch. Then it snowed and so work is closed and the schedule I constructed for myself will fail. I will have to work all weekend. I need to refine the process so that I have more buffer time.

On a positive note I have really great girlfriends. One of them sent me a passion planner. I guess she really heard me when I expressed that I needed to become a better steward of my time. Although I like the Day Designer in theory, the Passion Planner has space for big dream and monthly goals which will fit in very well with this year long challenge. The best part is I will have documentation to look back on. Oh and she printed it with cartoon pictures of fabulously feminine women! How do I upload a picture?

 

[PrissiSippi]

Respect is the key to getting a man to show you the love you want. If they feel respected and truly respected, they'll give and do anything for you. I think most women think they're being respectful to their spouses but in actuality they are not, it's very small things.

Ladies I'll be here cheering you on. Great thread.

Thank you Zaynab for everything you do. You are a gem and you make some things so simple.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Respect is the key to getting a man to show you the love you want. If they feel respected and truly respected, they'll give and do anything for you. I think most women think they're being respectful to their spouses but in actuality they are not, it's very small things.

Ladies I'll be here cheering you on. Great thread.

The funny thing is when I'm conscious of being respectful to a man, I also feel really exposed and vulnerable because it almost feels like I'm saying "I love you" to him or I worry that he's going to think I'm laying it on thick. Does it get easier over time to not feel so vulnerable when speaking these words of respect to a man?

 

[Belle Du Jour]

https://peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/what-speaks-respect-to-men/

https://peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com/what-is-disrespectful-to-guys/

#wifeintraining

 

[PrissiSippi]

Hello ladies. I needed some extra time to reflect on how I wanted to get started. My goal this week is thinking about what needs to be done to keep my work at work.

I am currently working outside of the home and truly believe it gets in the way of my femininity. To me femininity = softness. In my workplace I have tried being firm almost to the point of sternness to get the job done.

Well I changed it up and made space for myself to do the work at work so that I can better maintain my softness. I realized much of my hard edges came from the resentment of needing to constantly work to keep up. Of course yesterday was the first day back and I accomplished all my work, left feeling light and happy and with enough energy to prepare my family a well rounded meal from scratch. Then it snowed and so work is closed and the schedule I constructed for myself will fail. I will have to work all weekend. I need to refine the process so that I have more buffer time.

On a positive note I have really great girlfriends. One of them sent me a passion planner. I guess she really heard me when I expressed that I needed to become a better steward of my time. Although I like the Day Designer in theory, the Passion Planner has space for big dream and monthly goals which will fit in very well with this year long challenge. The best part is I will have documentation to look back on. Oh and she printed it with cartoon pictures of fabulously feminine women! How do I upload a picture?

I’m on my phone but at the bottom right it says upload a file. Then I click the picture in my phone and upload. I hope this helps. The passion planner sounds really cool. I’m in search for a planner myself. I can’t wait to put it to use.

 

[PrissiSippi]

The funny thing is when I'm conscious of being respectful to a man, I also feel really exposed and vulnerable because it almost feels like I'm saying "I love you" to him or I worry that he's going to think I'm laying it on thick. Does it get easier over time to not feel so vulnerable when speaking these words of respect to a man?

It gets a lot easier with time. Personally I try it on my father, my brothers, and my mentors and note their reactions. And then I feel more at ease to do it for DH.

Like I made my father’s plate the other day. I don’t mind making DH’s plate but at one time I didn’t like it. Practice makes permanent.

I went out with my rental mentor once and I set his silverware, placed his drink in the right place, put creamer in his coffee. He just looked at me confused. Then smiled and said thank you soooo much. I thought this was weird (This is one of those Ro concepts. Don’t let the waiter out serve you. You serve his food). I thought this was weird until I did it. Now I can do it and not feel uneasy.

 

[Zaynab]

The funny thing is when I'm conscious of being respectful to a man, I also feel really exposed and vulnerable because it almost feels like I'm saying "I love you" to him or I worry that he's going to think I'm laying it on thick. Does it get easier over time to not feel so vulnerable when speaking these words of respect to a man?

I think it will get easier over time. At first they may wonder why the shift on attitude but I firmly believe people,men, women whomever treat you via YOUR actions. Also, It's something I've always done. I grew up with a very masculine leader of a father and it was easy to transfer that same respect to men that I dated. Thus it's always been easy for me to attract and get the men I wanted and they treated me accordingly.

A little off topic but those ladies with girls, it's important to teach and show your daughters how you are respecting their dad so they will naturally emulate that same behavior. My dad told me when I was a teenager that men would notice the respect I had for him and the way I treated him and they would date me and treat me differently based on that. I 10000% believe this is true. I didn't understand it then but as an adult I get it. Men I dated and anyone actually that knows me knows how much I respect my dad. Unconsciously they knew they would be treated that same way and that I expected to also be treated the way I wanted and with love.

 

[Zaynab]

Here's a great read for the married ladies and wives. As usual..Take what you need, if it don't apply, let it fly.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/24676/walsh-most-effective-way-destroy-your-husband-ruin-matt-walsh

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Femme ladies, I have a question.

Compassion is something that a lot of us would like to nuture and grow this year. How do you determine the difference between compassion and codependency?

Codependency to me means being a prisoner to someone else’s emotions/needs/wants. I’m still learning compassion. I did read something recently that discussed how you react to your spouse’s errors and shortcomings. In short it said if you wouldn’t do it to a close friend, don’t do it to a spouse. I laughed when i read it because it was nothing for me to nitpick dh but I’ve a friend whose had awful brows for the last ten years and I ain’t said a word.
Then I had to check myself

 

[PrissiSippi]

Codependency to me means being a prisoner to someone else’s emotions/needs/wants. I’m still learning compassion. I did read something recently that discussed how you react to your spouse’s errors and shortcomings. In short it said if you wouldn’t do it to a close friend, don’t do it to a spouse. I laughed when i read it because it was nothing for me to nitpick dh but I’ve a friend whose had awful brows for the last ten years and I ain’t said a word.
Then I had to check myself

https://peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/what-speaks-respect-to-men/

https://peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com/what-is-disrespectful-to-guys/

#wifeintraining

i picked up one of those habits. Apologize and let it be said.

I asked DH to do something the other day. He acts clueless and it’s annoyed me because I feel he could have achieved the task. I feel he does it on purpose to get out of stuff but I had been ripping and running all day trying to cook for Christmas dinner, dress myself, dress DS, clean up before we left, load the car, and wrap the presents. I was tired and frustrated. (I could plan a little better next year and not wait til the last minute).

I still feel like I was right. He should have helped me more. But I dropped the need to be right. I said I’m sorry. I lashed out in you in frustration. Please forgive me.

I did notice I let go after that. Usually I would hold on to my anger but that day after I said I’m sorry, I let it go. Christmas went well, there was peace, and the small issue was dropped.

That is not old me. I would have said I’m sorry....but u get on my dang nerves not doing anything to help me when you clearly see I have a lot to do. This leads to an argument both of us are annoyed and usually the day is kinda ruined because emotions are flying high.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Hello ladies. I needed some extra time to reflect on how I wanted to get started. My goal this week is thinking about what needs to be done to keep my work at work.

I am currently working outside of the home and truly believe it gets in the way of my femininity. To me femininity = softness. In my workplace I have tried being firm almost to the point of sternness to get the job done.

Well I changed it up and made space for myself to do the work at work so that I can better maintain my softness. I realized much of my hard edges came from the resentment of needing to constantly work to keep up. Of course yesterday was the first day back and I accomplished all my work, left feeling light and happy and with enough energy to prepare my family a well rounded meal from scratch. Then it snowed and so work is closed and the schedule I constructed for myself will fail. I will have to work all weekend. I need to refine the process so that I have more buffer time.

On a positive note I have really great girlfriends. One of them sent me a passion planner. I guess she really heard me when I expressed that I needed to become a better steward of my time. Although I like the Day Designer in theory, the Passion Planner has space for big dream and monthly goals which will fit in very well with this year long challenge. The best part is I will have documentation to look back on. Oh and she printed it with cartoon pictures of fabulously feminine women! How do I upload a picture?

I pray you find balance. I know that it is hard balancing your femininity at work because a lot of masculine energy is required. I had to stand up for myself be very aggressive and really stand up for myself at work. I have seen a shift since I don’t work as much these days. I’m thankful.

 

[TracyNicole]

I pray you find balance. I know that it is hard balancing your femininity at work because a lot of masculine energy is required. I had to stand up for myself be very aggressive and really stand up for myself at work. I have seen a shift since I don’t work as much these days. I’m thankful.

I am really praying for a breakthrough. I have tomdirect others as part of my job, some of whom are older and male. I totally get what Ro is saying about how being responsible for others is a masculine trait. I am worried that my husband is happy I keep getting promoted.

 

[PrissiSippi]

I am really praying for a breakthrough. I have tomdirect others as part of my job, some of whom are older and male. I totally get what Ro is saying about how being responsible for others is a masculine trait. I am worried that my husband is happy I keep getting promoted.

He’s probably happy that you’re “happy”. I find that DH often just wants me happy. Whatever is cool with me makes him happy. He was a biiiiig cheerleader for me when I was working. He’s still my cheerleader today.

 

[Ms_Delikate]

I think it will get easier over time. At first they may wonder why the shift on attitude but I firmly believe people,men, women whomever treat you via YOUR actions. Also, It's something I've always done. I grew up with a very masculine leader of a father and it was easy to transfer that same respect to men that I dated. Thus it's always been easy for me to attract and get the men I wanted and they treated me accordingly.

A little off topic but those ladies with girls, it's important to teach and show your daughters how you are respecting their dad so they will naturally emulate that same behavior. My dad told me when I was a teenager that men would notice the respect I had for him and the way I treated him and they would date me and treat me differently based on that. I 10000% believe this is true. I didn't understand it then but as an adult I get it. Men I dated and anyone actually that knows me knows how much I respect my dad. Unconsciously they knew they would be treated that same way and that I expected to also be treated the way I wanted and with love.

@Zaynab you make a couple of great points in this post. Unfortunately for me, my dad died when I was 16 before I was allowed to date and that definitely had it's impacts.

Now I have a 15 y/o and I want to teach her the things that no one ever taught me about dating (and everything else). I was completely opposite of what I want to show her when it comes to dating but I recognize the work that needs to be done and I am working. Like DH says to me "you can do anything when you put your mind to it" (not always in a positive way)...LOL so we will see. She really respects DH and has a great relationship with him too.

I have more thoughts but I will post some more when I have more time to think clearly.

 

[Ms_Delikate]

I am looking for one accountability partner. We would talk on the phone at the beginning of each month - discuss our goals, accomplishments, and pray for each other. During the week we would send text and/or emails for encouragement and reminders.

@SimplyWhole did you get an accountability partner? If not, let's be partners.

 

[Ms_Delikate]

Here's a great read for the married ladies and wives. As usual..Take what you need, if it don't apply, let it fly.

https://www.dailywire.com/news/24676/walsh-most-effective-way-destroy-your-husband-ruin-matt-walsh

This article is in line with a lot of the relationship books I’ve been reading and the advice you e been giving @Zaynab ... there’s a book called love and respect that I have as an audiobook on my phone and I’ve listened to it a couple of times and will start listening again today. It makes a lot of sense but it’s sometimes difficult to put into practice.

 

[PrissiSippi]

How’s everybody’s progress been so far?

 

[Bosslady1]

Great thread! Often times we get use to doing everything for our self & the man gets away scotch free from responsibilities of a man. Honor your role as a woman while having a feminine approach. Hard balance indeed. Cause sometimes, you just have to check a man! Or not? ....I say check him but plan your battle where it counts. Not nag or complain over simple things.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

How’s everybody’s progress been so far?

Really well.
Dh has become a hand holder. He was never a hand holder. Now every time we walk into and out of somewhere, especially at night, he initiates hand holding.

 

[TracyNicole]

How’s everybody’s progress been so far?

This week went well. I’ve found that the act of focusing on being more feminine has helped me to feel less stress. I had a ton of work that I had to bring home this weekend but I made a plan for it instead of fussing and cussing. I worked around my family time and found it was way less stressful. Even better, I got insights into how to streamline my process to be able to work less.

Another interesting thing is that I saw a video by Flylady Kat on being the CEO of your home and it really resonated with me. The short version is that when we feel frustration or anger about things that need to be done in the home the reality is that we most likely have not established the standard and the routine for the members of our family.

We are the heart of the home and while our husband may lead, it is generally our responsibility to train everyone in the home for family success by having the expectation, modeling the behavior and inspecting what you expect to ensure it is being done. I realize now that part of what I am not getting right is that yelling or nagging is completely useless but I am not helpless.

 

[Maracujá]

What a fascinating & magnificent thread! Not sure if I'll join just yet, as @YvetteWithJoy mentioned, this is a sensitive subject for me too. Been doing a lot of self work the last couple of years and it's yielding wonderful results. I grew up in a fatherless home and without a male figure, needless to say, my relationship with men is extremely strained. But I truly want to change that.

One great example is my older sister, though she grew up in the same household as we did...while we were singing Destiny's Child "Independent Women", she wasn't having any of that. And today, her life reflects that.

As for me, I'm doing a complete turnaround. Getting back to the essence of me and this community we've got here helps tremendously. Mainly focused on cooking from scratch, dressing in a feminine way and keeping my home intact. All of this requires lots of prayers. I've had more men look at me in the past 6 months, than the entire decade in which I've been single .