52 Weeks Towards Divine Femininity

PrissiSippi

PrissiSippi

Simply Komplex
"Goddess is a description of radiance, not of appearance."
"I am a feminine black woman who is strong on the inside (boundaries) but soft on the outside (personality and appearance)"

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Over the past year, quite a few of us have begun using the teachings and thoughts of Ro Elori Cutno's Wife School, Christlyn Kerazin's Pink Pill, SheraSeven, Chrissie, and other femininity coaches to achieve our goals of becoming more in touch with our feminine side and taking steps towards becoming better feminine women to uplift our Black community. Being feminine encompasses the process of being, accepting, and receiving versus thinking more result-oriented such as goal seeking and giving. It involves being very strong with our boundaries, but presenting them in a very breezy, airy, feminine and soft way. It allows you to protect your peace and be strategically selfish to put yourself first at all times to continuously fill up your cup. This creates more feminine energy that you can give to others from. Getting in touch with our femininity has allowed many of us to tap into energy we never knew we had and grow closer to consciousness and happiness - one week at a time. Who would like to join in as a group as we work collectively in continue on our path towards femininity in 2018?

Week 1- Mindset Mastery
Keep in mind, this process to femininity definitely takes some effort! What we will work towards is identifying our habitual masculine behaviors and commit to changing them to more feminine behaviors and thoughts. It important to understand that masculine energy cannot be destroyed but it can be transmuted into more feminine ones. At first, this may feel like faking it until you make it. This is why inner work is needed. The more you’re able "fake it", the more your subconscious will work with you toward your goal of becoming more feminine, and it will become a more authentic worldview of yours. This is called mindset mastery. There are many steps towards this mindset mastery.

Think Positive
- You're going to have to physically SAY affirmations to get it in our head that you already have everything you need to be successful. Otherwise you are just faking it until you make it (which is fine in the beginning but we're trying to seek to be authentic with it as well).
- This may include saying affirmations, doing guided meditations, journaling, having your accountability partner encourage you.

Raise Your Standards
Look at some key areas of your life and see what do you REALLY want to change as it relates to being feminine.
Now how could you change your shoulds to musts?
Example: I should wear dresses to dress more feminine -> I MUST wear dresses more often to dress more feminine.
Example: I should take up some hobbies to fill up my cup --> I MUST take up hobbies to fill up my cup.

Create Good Baby Habits
Small habits as the basic building blocks to reaching your goals. What small baby step goals will get you close to your overall feminine goals?
Example: I will wear dresses every Monday.
Example: I will use Saturday mornings to do my hobbies.

Flip your Limiting Beliefs
  • Your emotional patterns control your life. They begin to shape how you see life.
  • Make your reframed belief into your NEW affirmations.
Example: I'm too fat to wear dresses. I will wear them when I lose weight. --> I am beautiful just the way I am and I feel feminine and free in dresses
Example: I'm too busy to do hobbies --> My hobbies make me free more fulfilled and feminine.

Make your SMART goals
Now is the time to make a PLAN to be a divinely feminine woman over the course of a year. Take the time to decide what this looks like to you. Please make a list of 3-4 measurable SMART goals. (I realize some femininity goals are not measurable. This is okay, but be creative and put a number to goals if you can.)

Some examples would include:
  • I plan to wear dresses 3 days out of each week. (3 x 52 weeks is 156 for the entire year) or
  • I intend to cook from scratch for my family 2 times each week. (2x52 is 104 times)
  • To look better in my dress and get to Trophy Wife status I plan to lose 5 pounds every 2 months (30 pounds for the year)

By making measurable SMART goals, we ensure success by creating goals that are Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.

Week 1 Challenge
1. Find an accountability partner. It’s a good idea to have someone to check in with on a weekly basis to help you with your feminine words, your feminine actions and staying in your feelings rather than your thoughts. Begin thinking about who would be the best person to keep you grounded.
2. Buy a planner
3. What SMART feminine goals do you have?
4. What mini goals will help you accomplish these goals?
5. How will you keep your vibe HIGH each day?


Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner
Week 2: Print or Buy a planner. Make sure you write down and plan to do things that encompass your femininity. How many times will you cook for your family so they can practice dinner etiquette? How many minutes will you hold each child a day (10-15 minutes?) How will you polish your femininity EACH day, how will you spend one on one time with your spouse each day? Have you made time to go out with a female this week to talk girl talk? Make a plan, be intentional, and write it down.
Week 3: Be more present- Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be a phone zombie. Practice makes permanent. Constantly work on cultivating your femininity by being very present with DH, SO, your children, and friends. Choose human interactions vs social media interactions this week.
Week 4: Acceptance- Accept your spouse just as he is. CHOOSE to look towards his good side.
 
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Femininity Goals:

1. Make more time to polish my femininity one hour a day (7 hours a week). It includes: self-dates, dressing more feminine each day. Limit jeans, wear some kind of minimum makeup and wear a smile daily.
2. Eliminate cursing from my vocabulary except for dire emergencies. (I will pay $0.25 to my curse jar each time I curse).
3. Keep my home more organized by planning out my week each Sunday (washing, meal planning, ironing, and making weekly goals)
4. Cook from scratch and or fresh 3 days each week
5. Spend at least one hour of uninterrupted one on one time with DH a day (7 hours a week).
 
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Yay!!!!!!

My Feminine/Wife/Motherhood goals are:
1. Loose the rest of my baby weight to offer my best Feminine presentation.
2. Give my husband the highest masculine respect I can everyday.
3. Develop passive income streams to build my Feminine Mystique Bank Account.
4. Prepare my girls for gifted and classical school tests. Any advices here?
5. Certify as a teacher with "Fascination Womanhood" and maybe a Roots of Royals Certified Wife.
6. Keep working on softening my voice and coaching my girls on their soft girly feminine voices.
 
I didn't want to make my list too long to be achievable but I think this is the essence of what I hope to accomplish this year. I've listed by increasing level of difficulty. I would like to sit down and draft a plan for how I might accomplish these things before the year begins.

1. Improve homemaking, organizing, and child rearing skills
2. Awaken love, tenderness and devotion from loved ones
3. Find joy in embracing my femininity
4. Accept others without being a doormat
5. Display anger/ displeasure in a feminine way
6. Improve my feminine figure and looks
 
I’m not sure yet. I’m lurking to figure it out.
I wasn’t taught to be feminine and never really had any interest in it...
But I’m realizing femininity is really about accepting what’s already there and doing things that empower and strengthen it...
For instance, I love flowers. I often wore silk and fresh ones when I worked in an office. (The work I do often dictates my appearance because I’m lazy.) But I never really connected that to seeming or being more feminine until recently.
So I guess even being more intentional about how I present myself to the world is part of my aspiration.
PrissiSippi said:
@kxlot79 Please join us! What are your femininity goals?
Click to expand...
 
GM
1. I’d like to become softer
2. Have an attitude of gratitude (stop petty complaints)
3. Be able to turn my problems over to dh to solve
4. Avoid communication death by contempt, criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling
5. Work on showing that he has influence in my life
6. Limit interaction with women who I don’t want to become.
 
I’m a fairly newly wed (2nd marriage) and definitely will be up in here. I’m trying to step up my game because DH deserves this. We want to show DD 15 y/o what a great marriage looks like.

In addition, she was appalled because I asked my goddaughter who is 24 and pregnant what were the marriage plans. This made me see that I have work to do. The fact that she was more appalled by my question than her godsister’s actions was a wake up call for me.
 
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Copying a little from 52 Mondays and modifying it

Participants:
@SimplyWhole
@Ms_Delikate
@CafedeBelleza
@kxlot79
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Supervixen
@PrissiSippi


Week 1
Today is the day! This is the single most important day for succeeding since this is the day you'll define your criteria for success and choose the path you're going to be traveling. The next 52 weeks and your success is highly contingent on your tenacity, dedication, and accountability. This year is a year of femininity for all that is involved. What is femininity you say?

Femininity
The reason why this femininity is important is that it allows you to increase your personal development and growth and ensure generational success for your children and your children's children.

As it relates to becoming more feminine, you need to think about what you're willing to focus on and commit to over the next 52 weeks.

Week 1 Activity

Choose a woman to keep you accountable. We're already in this online support group and this is great, but you also need other methods in place. Choose at least one woman (why woman you say? Because we're all about basking in feminine energy this year.) Figure out how this will look? How will you share your daily efforts with your accountability partner? Will you check in every day? Every other day? What does having an accountability partner look like for you? Additionally, make a plan to make sure that you check in with this thread? Do you have a method to upload pictures to track your progress? Will you need to set an alarm to make sure these things occur?

Your assignment this week is, therefore, to visualize and write down how you will stay accountable with another woman as well as this thread and develop a plan of what accountability looks like before the end of the week:

Additionally, post your femininity goals.
 
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Women are built to thrive, support, fellowship, and polish their femininity TOGETHER. Do you have women you can connect with? My first goal for 2018 is to meet up for lunch or coffee at least once a week with a woman. Now during this time I'm giving myself plenty of time to look nice, put on a dress, put on minimal makeup, talk about nothing, be in my feminine energy and just BE.

Take a minute to peruse this video. How do you feel about this?

 
Week 1 Goal- Avoid StresS
A first yr teacher has been hired in place of the veteran we thought we’d be getting. I will not allow them to burden me with her. I have enough stress with my own students.
I know this will be tough- I was emailed on 12/28 about giving her lesson plans.
 
My girlfriend and I had a lovely tea party for two. It was wonderful! From the video I’m going to plan a monthly girls lunch or tea. I’m also going to work on creating (coloring, making tinctures, and herbal preparations, bath bombs, etc.)

PrissiSippi said:
Women are built to thrive, support, fellowship, and polish their femininity TOGETHER.

Take a minute to peruse this video. How do you feel about this?

Click to expand...
 
Remember no one can take you out of your femininity except you. I have a friend that was upset. She asked her DH to bring something heavy to her. He “forgot” and she had to carry the heavy load a long distance. She was so appalled when I said who made u do it? What could u have done? She was like no one made me do it but it had to be done. Okay let him do it. Isn’t your fault he forgot. She could have easily stayed in her feminine power and asked him to grab the load again in a sweet voice. Only an but hole could say no. And he probably honestly forgot but even if he didn’t he’d know...you’re his pampered princess at all times and you stay in that role.

Instead she decided to man up and carry it herself. This was fine. It’s only a few bags right? Wrong because it disrupted her peace. She was upset for the rest of the day. She lashed out at DH and she lost her femininity for the moment.

Don’t rush. Have patience. Remind him again. I know it’s annoying. But put it back in him. NEVER let ANYONE make you man up. No one can make you do anything. Take control of your femininity.

Another example. I was irritated. I left my debit card. I said man I left my debit card I will have to go all the waY to the car to get it. In the cold. it is 18 degrees outside. DH just stood there. Never telling me naw don’t do that I got it. That’s what I wanted. Bruhhh so I man’ed up. Ran outside grabbed my card. Came back he had put my purchase on the counter and held back his stuff and a few things for DS. This was so selfish to me. But I still didn’t say anything. It was MY purchase. But it wasn’t much,it was needed, and it’s the principle. I feel like I should have woman’ed up used my sweet voice and said “baby could you please buy me this?” I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable by me putting him in the spot. But I made myself uncomfortable running outside in cold weather to “save myself”. This will not be 2018. I will refrain from man’ing up. Will you?
 
A book you ladies may be interested in is Helen Andelin's "The Fascinating Girl," sort of the single gal's prequel to the married woman's "Fascinating Womanhood." It is the founding resource on my burgeoning exploration into femininity. I was unconsciously/naturally doing a lot of things in book already, so it just honed my abilities even more.

The best thing about this book is that it encourages the reader to do the work necessary to become these things, not just pretend to be. Some of it can be a bit nebulous (like the section on radiating inner happiness), but she manages to par it all down to get to the meat of what you need to know. It's also very practical in that she addresses things such as where to meet men, how to become a proficient conversationalist, how to express your displeasure while respecting the fragile male ego, etc.

There are eight specific qualities she posits that men are drawn to. Although the book isn't lengthy, it is dense, and I've found it helpful to use her tips to polish the qualities I already possess, while working out how to express those other qualities in a way that is authentic to me vs focusing wholly on attaining all eight qualities simultaneously. It's a quick-ish read that's packed full of gems. I revisit it often when I am dating, to refresh myself on the techniques or to lighten my spirit (which I have found key to amplifying my femininity).
 
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Supervixen said:
Femme ladies, I have a question.

Compassion is something that a lot of us would like to nuture and grow this year. How do you determine the difference between compassion and codependency?
Click to expand...
Oooh this is a great question. I definitely don’t know the answer.

But when I do stuff for my husband, I try to stray away from doing it to prove my worth or to gain his approval. I’m trying to do it from a place of doing something that’s simply nice for him and that’s all.
 
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Supervixen said:
Femme ladies, I have a question.

Compassion is something that a lot of us would like to nuture and grow this year. How do you determine the difference between compassion and codependency?
Click to expand...

I really thought this was a good question because I know I can have codependent tendencies.

I asked my counselor this question today and he said it boils down to intent. He said when making decisions and doing things for others you should first note what is the motivation for you doing the said act of kindness. Next, you should note the sacrifices that would have to be made to do it. You then notice if any of your needs will go unmet if you do this and see if it is worth it or now. If you are intending to do it for attention, validation of self, or approval it is codependent. If you are doing it because you care for someone else and you want to help them you are doing it for compassion.
 
I have polished my femininity both Monday and Tuesday this week by going out with a friend girl and the next day by taking time to get dolled up and setting time out of my schedule just for me.

I made sure to cook from scratch today and ended up making this me below which came out perfect. I really feel like it came out this perfect because I took my time and really thought out how the meal would look and taste. My husband bought ate a whole pack of chicken himself. And I got to be appreciative of this air fryer he bought me some months ago.

I know it’s late but I think I’m going to polish my femininity by taking a nap and take a long bubble bath before I officially go to bed tonight. Wish me
Luck!
 

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PrissiSippi said:
I really thought this was a good question because I know I can have codependent tendencies.

I asked my counselor this question today and he said it boils down to intent. He said when making decisions and doing things for others you should first note what is the motivation for you doing the said act of kindness. Next, you should note the sacrifices that would have to be made to do it. You then notice if any of your needs will go unmet if you do this and see if it is worth it or now. If you are intending to do it for attention, validation of self, or approval it is codependent. If you are doing it because you care for someone else and you want to help them you are doing it for compassion.
Click to expand...


Thanks for this!

In a real transparent moment, DH helped me realize I struggle with codependent relationships too. Mine aren't so much with men, but family and girlfriends. Offering unwarranted compassion can get me close to dangerous territory, so I needed this checklist to measure.
 
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