2020 52 Weeks To Being Divinely Feminine Thread

[snoop]

We’ve started a new year and a new decade!

For those of you who have participated before – welcome back – and for those of you who are joining us for the first time – welcome!

"Goddess is a description of radiance, not of appearance."
"I am a feminine black woman who is strong on the inside (boundaries) but soft on the outside (personality and appearance)"​

Over the past year, quite a few of us have begun using the teachings and thoughts of Ro Elori Cutno's Wife School, Christlyn Kerazin's Pink Pill, SheraSeven, Chrissie, and other femininity coaches to achieve our goals of becoming more in touch with our feminine side and taking steps towards becoming better feminine women to uplift our Black community. Being feminine encompasses the process of being, accepting, and receiving versus thinking more result-oriented such as goal seeking and giving. It involves being very strong with our boundaries, but presenting them in a very breezy, airy, feminine and soft way. It allows you to protect your peace and be strategically selfish to put yourself first at all times to continuously fill up your cup. This creates more feminine energy that you can give to others from. Getting in touch with our femininity has allowed many of us to tap into energy we never knew we had and grow closer to consciousness and happiness - one week at a time. Who would like to join in as a group as we work collectively in continue on our path towards femininity in 2020?



Participants -
@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@almond eyes
@tinkat
@Chicoro
@cravoecanela

Feel free to join this challenge at any point throughout the year! It’s never too late to learn how to access your feminine energy.

 

[snoop]

The year has already started, so I will be posting the first three weeks in succession.





Week 1- Mindset Mastery

Keep in mind, this process to femininity definitely takes some effort! What we will work towards is identifying our habitual masculine behaviors and commit to changing them to more feminine behaviors and thoughts. It important to understand that masculine energy cannot be destroyed but it can be transmuted into more feminine ones. At first, this may feel like faking it until you make it. This is why inner work is needed. The more you’re able "fake it", the more your subconscious will work with you toward your goal of becoming more feminine, and it will become a more authentic worldview of yours. This is called mindset mastery. There are many steps towards this mindset mastery.

Think Positive
- You're going to have to physically SAY affirmations to get it in our head that you already have everything you need to be successful. Otherwise you are just faking it until you make it (which is fine in the beginning but we're trying to seek to be authentic with it as well).
- This may include saying affirmations/affirmations, mirror work, shadow work, doing something from your polishing your femininity list, scripting, tapping, doing guided meditations, journaling, or having your accountability partner encourage you. They key is to stay at it.

Raise Your Standards
Look at some key areas of your life and see what do you REALLY want to change as it relates to being feminine.
Now how could you change your shoulds to musts?
Example: I should wear dresses to dress more feminine -> I MUST wear dresses more often to dress more feminine.
Example: I should take up some hobbies to fill up my cup --> I MUST take up hobbies to fill up my cup.

Create Good Baby Habits
Small habits as the basic building blocks to reaching your goals. What small baby step goals will get you close to your overall feminine goals?
Example: I will wear dresses every Monday.
Example: I will use Saturday mornings to do my hobbies.

Flip your Limiting Beliefs

• Your emotional patterns control your life. They begin to shape how you see life.
• Make your reframed belief into your NEW affirmations.

Example: I'm too fat to wear dresses. I will wear them when I lose weight. --> I am beautiful just the way I am and I feel feminine and free in dresses
Example: I'm too busy to do hobbies --> My hobbies make me free more fulfilled and feminine.

Make your SMART goals
Now is the time to make a PLAN to be a divinely feminine woman over the course of a year. Take the time to decide what this looks like to you. Please make a list of 3-4 measurable SMART goals. (I realize some femininity goals are not measurable. This is okay, but be creative and put a number to goals if you can.)

Some examples would include:

• I plan to wear dresses 3 days out of each week. (3 x 52 weeks is 156 for the entire year) or
• I intend to cook from scratch for my family 2 times each week. (2x52 is 104 times)
• To look better in my dress and get to Trophy Wife status I plan to lose 5 pounds every 2 months (30 pounds for the year)

By making measurable SMART goals, we ensure success by creating goals that are Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.



Week 1 Challenge
1. Find an accountability partner. It’s a good idea to have someone to check in with on a weekly basis to help you with your feminine words, your feminine actions and staying in your feelings rather than your thoughts. Begin thinking about who would be the best person to keep you grounded.
2. Buy a planner
3. What SMART feminine goals do you have?
4. What mini goals will help you accomplish these goals?
5. How will you keep your vibe HIGH each day?

Recap
Week 1: Master Your Mindset/ Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner.​

 

[snoop]

Week 2: Be more present.

To be truly healthy and live in line with nature, we need to cultivate our femininity. BUT It's hard to do this if we are constantly thinking about the past. What happened last year? Could I have done it differently? Or in the future such as When is my blessing going to come? I wonder what tomorrow will be like.

SLOW DOWN.

It is a beautiful experience when a woman can just be present and have no agenda other than enjoying life at any given moment. This is a rare quality that will make men very intrigued and set you apart from others. Because of this, men will naturally think more about you when you are not around.

Turn the phone off. Turn the TV laptop and tablets off. Choose human interactions with people you love instead. Be present. Slow down your walk and talk. Shine like a star and radiate your light. How do you FEEL when doing this?

Go on a walk (without looking at your phone). Take it all in. Feel the brisk wind on your face. Let your heart feel happy while playing with your children.

Hold your child and read a book. How does it feel to be able to do this?

Cuddle and watch a movie (without answering your phone).

When you meet with your friends turn off your phone and give them your undivided attention.

When you go walking, listen to music is fine but be present. Take a moment to look at your surroundings. What new that you see?

When you are at a dinner party talk to your guests and just be instead of checking the phone. If you expect a phone call excuse yourself to the bathroom or etc.

When you're in a room (even with friends) and men walk into the room, be present and turn your eyes to them and ask them if they need anything.

When your children come home from school tune in for a minute. Play with them. Play hide and go seek. Get off the phone. Ask what they did today. Give them 30 minutes of uninterrupted time.

Limit the need to multitask at all times. Be in the moment and very present.


Week 2 Challenge
1. Find ways to be more present this week.
2. Tune in to your bedroom. Look at it as if it were a hotel. Would you actually want to stay there? Is it calming? Is it relaxing? Can you retreat to this space and not feel pressured to do anything but be?

Your bedroom is the most private room in the house, and it should be the most personal. Your bed should feel like the ultimate sanctuary and make you happy every time you get into it. Your bedroom should be your safe haven, so make it a place you want to be. Allow yourself to buy fresh flowers every week, light a candle every night to unwind, declutter it!

Get rid of the papers and laptops and cell phones. Work can wait. Your bedroom should be your sacred space. Think candles, a bath tray for the tub with your favorite scents, wine, soap, and candles. Clean up the clutter. Make up your bed each day. Be unapologetic with it. Clean it like you mean it and you’re the owner or a fancy hotel. Cultivate being present in your bedroom. Just be. Non sexually and sexually touch your spouse, smile, laugh, have a childlike characteristic about yourself. Be free, airy, light, and just feminine. Put on a cute pajama set (or invest in one this week). Wear perfume or body splash to bed. Put as much effort into it like you do when you’re going to work. Be present...even in your bedroom.



--------

RECAP
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner
Week 2: Be more Present.

 

[snoop]

Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty N Poised

"You can't always be the prettiest when you step into a room, but you can ALWAYS be the sweetest. With the best smile, the warmest gaze, the most gratitude, and the most pleasant attitude, a woman's poise is her gentle strength.​

Let's think about some typical day to day situations:

• Someone cuts you off in traffic? What could you do?
• Someone steals the credit at work for something you did? Your actions?
• Your husband says something unkind and insensitive to you?
• He leaves his shoes everywhere even after you've asked him numerous times to stop.
• A beautiful woman walks in the room....are you unnerved? Unbothered?
• You’re supposed to meet your girlfriend for lunch but she doesn’t show up and doesn’t call you to let you know.

A woman of poise makes a profound impact and commands respect at the highest level....but she does it with grace. Are there areas in which your poise needs to be strengthened? How could you get here? Some tips I would recommend include:

Drop the need to be right- Okay we get it. You are right. Then what?

Our ego is tricky it will convince us that somehow we are going to win the other person to our way of thinking by over explaining and going back and forth. (Arguing is masculine) Take a break from the exchange and then let your mind and body exhale, lower the shoulders, unclench the teeth, etc. Skip the part about the person supposed to honor you (he's supposed to do something for my birthday. She knew better than to cut me off in traffic) and go straight to YOU have to protect YOURself (with your feminine boundaries), because that's the reality and how you need to conduct yourself. Set your boundary and let it be.

Have a plan in place to only be mad about 5 minutes on things that deeply trouble you. How? Here are some steps:

1. Drop the need to be right. Go to another physical space.

2. Figure out why I'm angry. Identify the emotion.

3. Decide of it's valid. Am I overreacting? Did I hear all the needed information?

4. If I determine I was right, focus on the feeling.

When do YOU decide to talk focus on how you felt (Think back to feelings messages that was posted in this thread)…that's the emotion you mention when talking to the person at hand again. "I felt really neglected when you forgot my birthday yesterday." Pause and let them respond.

5. Until they responds continue being polite but determine what do you need to do? Remove yourself away from this person? Put boundaries up? How will you enforce your boundary?

6. Have compassion- Where growth is needed....compassion is required.​

Another way to polish your poise

Stop rushing- It seems contradictory to our modern world, where everything is a rush, where we try to cram as much into every minute of the day as possible, where if we are not busy, we feel unproductive and lazy. We’ve been conditioned to believe that busier is better, but actually the speed of doing is not as important as what we focus on doing. Try to map out your day so you're not multi-tasking ALL THE TIME. Take time to just be. Think before you talk. Words are something we can dish out but NEVER take back. Other ways we rush? Do not eat in a hurry, no matter how hungry you are. Do not zip up your purse in an anxious and fast way. Be as quiet as possible and unhurried. This also means no slamming of car doors, house doors, fridge door, no matter how you feel. It is all about being in a relaxed control.


More ways to polish your poise

Have an organizational plan. Without a plan, we plan to fail. Many of the problems that we have within the house is because of a lack of organization. Be honest, is your home lacking organization? Take a few minutes this week to truthfully answer these questions and come up with questions of your own that meet the needs of your home.

• Do you have a plan in place to keep the house running like a well oiled machine? (Towels stocked? Fridge stocked? Everyone knows where to place their things? House cleaned? Laundry folded and put away? What could you do to fix this?)
• How do you prepare the hotel room during family travel?
• What is your drama blocking plan?
• How can you create routine, what routines do you need in your life, and what is the purpose of routine?
• What is your hospitality plan for when guests come over? Do you run like a chicken with his head cut off or are you truly prepared?

Week 3 Challenge
1. Name some ways you could work on keeping your poise in trying situations.
2. NO person or incident can take you out of your feminine grace. However, this must be a very deliberate practice. What are some things you need to change about yourself to STAY in your feminine grace?
3. What are some possible solutions/scripts for the examples listed above in purple.



-------

RECAP
Week 1: Create Femininity Goals. Find an accountability partner/Buy a Planner
Week 2: Be Present
Week 3: Polish Yourself to become Pretty n Poised

 

[snoop]

Week 1 Challenge
1. Find an accountability partner. It’s a good idea to have someone to check in with on a weekly basis to help you with your feminine words, your feminine actions and staying in your feelings rather than your thoughts. Begin thinking about who would be the best person to keep you grounded.
2. Buy a planner
3. What SMART feminine goals do you have?
4. What mini goals will help you accomplish these goals?
5. How will you keep your vibe HIGH each day?

My week 1 update:

For the past couple of years, I've been working on the same goals in hopes that they become habits and then a lifestyle.

Snoop's "That Girl" Goals

I didn't buy a planner. Instead I (try to) track my progress in a binder weekly using a table format for each area that I'm trying to work on. It's a great way for me to see which areas I've been giving my attention to and which areas I need to focus more attention on.

Last year I used my cell phone calendar to add all of my self care reminders and it worked out quite well. In January I mapped my wash day routine from January to December (wash day, trims, scalp exfoliations, etc.), as well as other things like mani/pedis, massages, etc. I'll use this method again this year.

This challenge, the That Girl challenge and the 52 Mondays challenge are giving me the tools to elevate my femininity levels.

To keep my vibe high each day, I'm going to practice visualizations and affirmations before getting out of bed and doing the same during the day when I feel like my energy is getting too low.

 

[snoop]

Journaling Your Journey into Femininity

Journaling is a great way to delve deeper into your thoughts and emotions. Writing down your thoughts can reveal insights into your physical and mental habits and can be used to help push you forward to a higher level. Try finding a notebook or journal and even a pen that will inspire you to write regularly. Find a time and a quiet place where you can be alone to really focus on YOU.



Feminine Journal Prompts:

Imagine it is 20 years in the future. You have achieved all you ever hoped to achieve. What is your list of feminine accomplishments? What do you want to have, do, and be?

How have you been romantic to yourself this week?

What are your self sabotaging behaviors that you plan to leave in 2018?

What is the one big limiting belief or fear you want to leave behind in 2019?

What is the one new empowered belief you want to adopt towards your love life, yourself or your relationship this year?

What is the one big goal you have for 2019 when it comes to your femininity?

If you were the prize, what would you do for yourself today?

How have you leaned forward in relationships?

How could you keep the focus on you?

What is your energizing routine?

What is your unwinding routine?

What does your shadow reflect?

25 places I would like to go are...

25 things I want to do this year are....

Qualities I want in a significant other are...

Dealbreakers in my significant others are...

Things I love about myself are...

Ways I balance my feminine and masculine energies

What it means to me to be feminine

How I keep the focus on me

Write down the moment you felt most feminine. What were you doing?

Name 10 ways you’ve been feminine this month.

Who is your feminine role model? What makes them feminine to you?

What does the power of receptivity mean to you?

Do you allow yourself to trust your intuition?

When do u call upon your feminine energy.

What keeps me grounded?

What are your boundaries? How do you enforce them?

What motivates you to be feminine each day?

What do you want people to remember about you?

What are 10 things you are grateful about?

In the next month I want to...

Lists to Make In Your Journal:

How I want to FEEL in my relationships with others
How I DO NOT want to FEEL in my relationships with others
25 New Things to Try This Year
Things that Make me Happy (What makes you come alive? Dancing, painting, singing, writing, walks in nature?)
Ways I Fill My Cup
My Dealbreakers in Men
Things that I am Grateful For
Things I LOVE about myself
My hobbies
How I can be/remain a challenge
Ways I self-sabotage
My Boundaries and How to Enforce Them

Femininity Tips:
1. Write down what kind of career, house, man, friends/relationships, etc. that you REALLY want. Reject everything but that.
2. Block any man/any person that makes you go into the masculine constantly.
3. Wear feminine colors: pink, lavender, turquoise, peach, yellow, greens. Wear heels and sandals.
4. Don't feel GUILTY for wanting a masculine male.
5. Expect men to provide, protect, and profess.

 

[snoop]

Week 2 challenge update:

I'm going to work on this over the next couple of weeks. I will sadly admit that I'm bad at putting away my clothes. I really don't know why and have being trying to figure out what deep seeded emotions are tying me into being lazy about doing it.

DH and I have lived in the same house for over 10 years, but we've never made it feel like a home. We've been treating it like we're going to move "in the next 5 years" and that hasn't happened. It's embarrassing because people will come over and it kinda looks like we're renting short term. It's cold -- we painted and I bought 1 art piece for one wall, but we've got nothing else that anyone say Mr. or Mrs. Snoop live here.

Well, enough is enough. Over the Christmas holidays we needed to work on new sleeping arrangements for the children so I used this as an opportunity to make the children's rooms feel like they're staying at an AirBnB. I bought a ton of extra pillows and decorative pillows for their beds and new duvet covers. I started making them a sitting area in one of the rooms. So three out of 4 bedrooms have a great start (one of them I plan on reclaiming as my woman cave because it feels so feminine in there), but alas my room is left too do.

My plan is to buy a new duvet cover, pillows, and paint the artwork for my room. I will keep you posted!

After I was done, DS#2 asked me when I was going to do the rest of the house. I realized at that point that my child subconsciously doesn't feel like it's a home, either. So, I need to work on updating the rest of the house -- but I will wait for some inspiration before starting.


Things to work on:
- putting clothes back in their place
- finding a soothing colour for my room
- declutting the hair and makeup stuff


The upside is that, for the past week I've been making everyone's bed and tidying their rooms. It is SOOO easy now that there is no clutter and now that I'm inspired to arrange their bedrooms to look like an apart-hotel room each day. It sparks joy and makes me feel feminine.

 

[Keen]

I started well last year but stopped being present with this challenge. I wish to do better this year. I will do the weekly exercises

 

[Brwnbeauti]

I have a few girlfriends that I’m trying to bring over to the feminine side. I’m doing it stealthily

 

[Chicoro]

I would like to try this in 2020!
Saving my spot! I will come back and read how to navigate this one. I have space now that my beloved 52 Mondays is not happening in 2020. I'm excited to participate!

 

[SimplyWhole]

I am joining I will be back!

 

[Sosoothing]

Im going to work on everything since this is a work in progress.
But my main goal is to not be over worked. To delegate more and not do anything I don't want to. Basically to say NO even more.

 

[prettywingsx]

I'm definitely in this year. I've noticed that working in a male dominated field is really beginning to impact all areas of my life in a way I find very undesirable/outside my natural comfort zone. I had a high stress and frustrating situation where I was in "fix it" mode for too long. Coming out of it, I felt drained and displeased with how it impacted my energy and daily experiences/interactions. My 2020 vision is to embrace and explore my femininity and engage it in all areas of my life, including work. While also really learning more about both masculine and feminine energies in general. I've been listening to a couple of interesting podcasts lately (Mind Body Musings and The Inner Experience with Sam Asser) that has me reflecting on quite a few things.

Some of the things I've been doing lately include getting my nails done. I recently found a reasonably priced place and built it into my budget. I feel a feminine thrill when I see a nice mani/pedi. I've been wearing dresses and heels. Lots of yoga, walking, and biking. Focusing on gratitude, simplicity, and openness (letting go). I've been buying flowers and candles.

I've been eating very healthy and decreasing overall alcohol intake. I was sick for the first week or so of 2020 and dropped almost 10lbs lol. I've been working to maintain that loss because I really just put on a bunch of weight at the end of last year. I usually eat healthy and exercise regularly (too much alcohol though), and am always dreaming of losing 5lbs but it's never pressing. So I'm basically back to my norm. I do want to actually lose those 5lbs or tone up more. I have also been journaling and just writing more.

Some general goals:
a) pausing before I respond or not feeling like I have to respond or engage in everything
b) stop cursing
c) checking regularly if I'm in my masculine or feminine at that moment (especially when engaging with others). I consider masculine energy to be very much required for getting the independent work part of my job done (results oriented/focused/logical), but leveraging my feminine to not feel rushed or stressed. I really want to remove stress from my work because there's no real value in it. The wounded masculine is actually really helpful to see. I can recognize it in myself and others.
d) interact with others without an agenda or wanting a specific result. letting go.
e) creative hobbies (current focus is writing)
f) protect and embrace my daily joy
g) be light and soft. slow down/surrender, why am I rushing through my life
h) mental health / balance

I can't remember if this was shared in the original thread or if I just found this but I absolutely love this. I copied the key ideas in my 2020 journal. https://elegantwoman.org/how-to-be-gentle

 

[snoop]

I started well last year but stopped being present with this challenge. I wish to do better this year. I will do the weekly exercises

I was the same last year, but I guess I'm in for the long haul, now!

We'll do this together and this group will be here to help keep you accountable!

 

[snoop]

I have a few girlfriends that I’m trying to bring over to the feminine side. I’m doing it stealthily

Are they willing participants?

I've noticed that I'm more aware of the women that I come into contact with and how they dress, speak, carry themselves, and their overall energy.

I've introduced the idea to a friend, but haven't followed up. One acquaintance needs the help, but she won't be getting it from me.

 

[snoop]

I would like to try this in 2020!
Saving my spot! I will come back and read how to navigate this one. I have space now that my beloved 52 Mondays is not happening in 2020. I'm excited to participate!

I'm going to miss 52 Mondays, too. But we'll be happy to have you join us in this space. It's a great complimentary challenge to the That Girl challenge.

 

[snoop]

I'm definitely in this year. I've noticed that working in a male dominated field is really beginning to impact all areas of my life in a way I find very undesirable/outside my natural comfort zone. I had a high stress and frustrating situation where I was in "fix it" mode for too long. Coming out of it, I felt drained and displeased with how it impacted my energy and daily experiences/interactions. My 2020 vision is to embrace and explore my femininity and engage it in all areas of my life, including work. While also really learning more about both masculine and feminine energies in general. I've been listening to a couple of interesting podcasts lately (Mind Body Musings and The Inner Experience with Sam Asser) that has me reflecting on quite a few things.

Some of the things I've been doing lately include getting my nails done. I recently found a reasonably priced place and built it into my budget. I feel a feminine thrill when I see a nice mani/pedi. I've been wearing dresses and heels. Lots of yoga, walking, and biking. Focusing on gratitude, simplicity, and openness (letting go). I've been buying flowers and candles.

I've been eating very healthy and decreasing overall alcohol intake. I was sick for the first week or so of 2020 and dropped almost 10lbs lol. I've been working to maintain that loss because I really just put on a bunch of weight at the end of last year. I usually eat healthy and exercise regularly (too much alcohol though), and am always dreaming of losing 5lbs but it's never pressing. So I'm basically back to my norm. I do want to actually lose those 5lbs or tone up more. I have also been journaling and just writing more.

Some general goals:
a) pausing before I respond or not feeling like I have to respond or engage in everything
b) stop cursing
c) checking regularly if I'm in my masculine or feminine at that moment (especially when engaging with others). I consider masculine energy to be very much required for getting the independent work part of my job done (results oriented/focused/logical), but leveraging my feminine to not feel rushed or stressed. I really want to remove stress from my work because there's no real value in it. The wounded masculine is actually really helpful to see. I can recognize it in myself and others.
d) interact with others without an agenda or wanting a specific result. letting go.
e) creative hobbies (current focus is writing)
f) protect and embrace my daily joy
g) be light and soft. slow down/surrender, why am I rushing through my life
h) mental health / balance

I can't remember if this was shared in the original thread or if I just found this but I absolutely love this. I copied the key ideas in my 2020 journal. https://elegantwoman.org/how-to-be-gentle

It sounds like you have a solid start to the New Year in terms of tapping into your femininity and expressing yourself in a feminine way. Do you find that you still retain your masculine energy when you're around other women?

 

[Chicoro]

I'm going to miss 52 Mondays, too. But we'll be happy to have you join us in this space. It's a great complimentary challenge to the That Girl challenge.

@snoop,

Are you pulling the weekly activities for this thread from a specific source, like a book or a website? Does it repeat like 52 Mondays did every year?

 

[snoop]

@snoop,

Are you pulling the weekly activities for this thread from a specific source, like a book or a website? Does it repeat like 52 Mondays did every year?

I'm copying and pasting the prompts from the challenge from last year. I'm going to try to do my best to add additional resources like @PrissiSippi , but this particular challenge is a steep learning curve for me so I'm depending on everyone to share and share-alike.

 

[Maracujá]

Happy new decade ladies! Let's take it to a new level . Thank you @snoop for starting this thread .

Here's what I posted on my FB page at the end of last year:



Didn't give much explanation of course. But it's basically about how I dealt with my daddy issues, by journaling about my father. Got closer to my mom and spent time with her to better understand her. Saw my close friend go from single to hitched with children. Changed jobs, not in the best possible way, but it happened. Remained faithful to my church, talk to my older sister like a friend now, have been living in my studio apartment for a decade and am seeing my goddaughter grow up to an amazing little young lady.

This is what I looked like for the festivities at the end of the year:



Have mastered my skin and hair regimen, as well as my make up regimen. This is how I prefer to look. Ezekiel Azonwu's wife said something that hit home: "Don't just do what God asked you to do, BE who He asked you to be too. That's also obedience."

So in the spirit of Chrystal Evans Hurst's book 'She's still there', I'm delving back into my passion for style:



Been wearing skirts and dresses for the longest, ever since @Zaynab advised us actually. But my attitude was lacking. Not so much anymore. My words for this year are: serendipity, surrender and rebirth. As for masculinity vs. feminity, there's a passage in the Bible that speaks to this regard, in Genesis. It says that God made us all, men and women, both male and female. The art is in always knowing which side needs to come up at what particular time. If you look at Nick Vujicic's relationship with his wife, there's very little physical protection he can actually offer her, but he can cover her in prayer. He cannot open cans for her or lift her up, but he plays up his masculinity by providing for her. Probably in ways that a man who has both hands and feet wouldn't be able to. So I'm definitely changing my mindset in this regard and opening my gaze.

Have to move out in about 1.5 months. My landlord is trying to pressure me and create all kinds of chaos, but I'm not letting that get me down. I'm doing everything in a poised, feminine and meticulous way. I would hate to move out and find out that I lost a photograph that is dear to me or something precious. So I'm doing everything with finesse: it's not about what we do, it about HOW we do it.

Been working extra hours to supplement my income, but yesterday my supervisor really got under my skin so I decided to address it like Serena would: would precised anger and politeness. I asked to have a meeting with her and our manager. I've been doing my work extremely well and the claws have come out. If it were back in the days I would've overthrown my life and try to do things "my way". But I am literally tired. Tired of temp jobs, no stability and insecurity. So this time...this time I fight. In a very strategic way. We will be having the meeting on Monday...in the meantime...I went to my favorite bookshop and spent about 3 hours there: just listening to TD Jakes, eating white chocolate and sipping chamomile tea ==>



Then I came home and did my hair:

 

[Maracujá]

Spoke about this in the That Girl thread, it's so important to create experiences for ourselves. So that when the humanity of certain folks tries to wear us down, we remember the divinity of God and what He has allowed us to see with our spiritual eyes.

About a week ago I took my laptop from work to the Netherlands, while I was visiting my sister and bil. I had no idea whether I would be able to work extra hours there. But I did it anyway. Turns out it works: all I needed was internet. Everything fell into place: we had been spending a lot of time with one another and when it came time for me to work, they decided to cross the border to Germany to shop somewhat.

The day after, we went to my other sister's place, to celebrate my nephew's 2nd birthday. There was a guy there who had shown interest in me about a decade ago. For some reason, he then got verbally abusive, while we were talking online to get to know each other. He is now engaged to a beautiful young lady from my tribe and is smitten with her. It was a very difficult situation, but I just played it cool. Gave my opinion from time to time, but then retreated and just started sleeping on the couch.

It may come across as rude but I'm simply not who I used to be anymore. I have very little interest in being the life of the party. I want peace and pleasantness. I'm not trying to figure out different ways to become rich. I want wealth: love, peace and joy. So I watched him talk, drink and hold the conversation hostage. Realizing that God saw this before I did. I have a preference for humble men.

I'm becoming less controlling and just letting things flow. Making decisions for my own and not necessarily dragging everyone along with me: things at work are hectic right now. So all through out January, I will barely be working. In my twenties I would've felt guilty. In my thirties I know that if I died due to a stress related disease, they would publish the vacancy before my obituary. So ummm...yeah.

Around Christmas I had to attend mass, but my mom's birthday is on the 24th. So we always first celebrate with her and then go to church the next day. At least I do. But on this particular day, the 7am bus didn't show up. So I decided to take the train, even though I had no money to pay. I explained everything to the train attendant and he gave me a fine. Little did I know it was a €75.00 fine, for a distance of less than 20km. Nevertheless I was willing to pay it, as I know I was in the wrong.

As I went to the train station to pay my fine. I met this beautiful & nice young lady, who advised me to contest, so that I would only have to pay €10.00. I did and today I received the letter stating that my wish has been granted to me haha.

Men are opening doors for me, letting me get out the elevator first and trying to hit on me . One guy tried while I was in The Netherlands, but I have more work to do on myself. Plus, these generation of men are not accustomed to put in the work. They're used to getting it easy...it's frustrating.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Are they willing participants?

I've noticed that I'm more aware of the women that I come into contact with and how they dress, speak, carry themselves, and their overall energy.

I've introduced the idea to a friend, but haven't followed up. One acquaintance needs the help, but she won't be getting it from me.

I make small suggestions her and there. They usually can see the benefit. I’m not pushy, just a “hey girl every think of...”
I talked everyone into planners. We’re also doing a challenge that has many feminine activities

 

[ckisland]

@snoop I would like to join this challenge again this year!

Week 1 Challenge
1. Find an accountability partner. Done
2. Buy a planner Done
3. What SMART feminine goals do you have?

• To get to hottie status, I must lose 15 lbs a month for the next 6 months.
• I must wear makeup everyday.
• I must cultivate a life where I am thriving in my health, relationships, hobbies, and finances in 2020.

4. What mini goals will help you accomplish these goals?

• I must eat a low carb diet with no soda, no chicken, beef or pork, and vegetables everyday.
• I must wake up early enough to give myself an hour to get ready.
• I must have real conversations and build experiences with my friends. I must be willing to go with the flow and have the patience to build with a man romantically. I must have a day every week where I write, read, cook a new dish or paint. I must budget, use cash for my personal spending, and I must make student loan payments.

5. How will you keep your vibe HIGH each day?

• I must say my affirmations throughout the day.
• I must stay present, keeping in mind my daily goals, and only planning for the future at designated times.

Week 2 Challenge
1. Find ways to be more present this week.
2. Tune in to your bedroom. Look at it as if it were a hotel. Would you actually want to stay there? Is it calming? Is it relaxing? Can you retreat to this space and not feel pressured to do anything but be?
I would definitely ask for a refund if I walked into my bedroom . The only thing I do is make my bed. One of my windows is missing it's curtains. I just put a picture up for the first time in the 2 years I've lived here, and it's the small one I painted. My dresser counter is a mess, and I need to vacuum. I don't feel like I can't relax in my room, but it isn't a sanctuary either.

 

[Chicoro]

I find this challenge overwhelming and frustrating. I am way out of my element here. But, I feel safe, for now.

 

[TracyNicole]

Hello ladies. Last year’s challenge blessed my life so much. I used to frequent the off topic section most of my time on the forum. Since the femininity challenges started several years ago, I have a new lease in life and I’m very much looking forward to finding areas of focus here. I will also try to speak up a bit more. Wishing everyone continued blessings on your journeys.

 

[snoop]

@TracyNicole @ckisland @prettywingsx Welcome back to the challenge! And @Chicoro welcome!

 

[snoop]

Happy new decade ladies! Let's take it to a new level . Thank you @snoop for starting this thread .

Here's what I posted on my FB page at the end of last year:

View attachment 454841

Have mastered my skin and hair regimen, as well as my make up regimen. This is how I prefer to look. Ezekiel Azonwu's wife said something that hit home: "Don't just do what God asked you to do, BE who He asked you to be too. That's also obedience."

So in the spirit of Chrystal Evans Hurst's book 'She's still there', I'm delving back into my passion for style:

View attachment 454845

I don't think that I've said this before, but your ability to capture your accomplishments via photography is stunning and inspirational!

I love this photo of you twirling in your skirt! It's so fun and carefree! I've been watching your transformation and you are glowing in all of your photos! Keep it up!

 

[snoop]

I find this challenge overwhelming and frustrating. I am way out of my element here. But, I feel safe, for now.

Oh no! Maybe it's because I had to post all three weeks at once.

Do you find that too much information comes each week or is it that it is asking you to change how you act and the change is full on?

 

[snoop]

Participants

@PrissiSippi
@ms-gg
@Supervixen
@TracyNicole
@PeaceLover
@Belle Du Jour
@SimplyWhole
@snoop
@Maracujá
@YvetteWithJoy
@LovingLady
@Jade Feria
@Meridian1944
@Sweetg
@Brwnbeauti
@LadyPBC
@intellectualuva
@tmv1
@rafikichick92
@cam2717
@CurliDiva
@Dee-Licious
@Jas123
@TwoSnapsUp
@Sosoothing
@AnjelLuvs
@taz007
@Keen
@Saludable84
@Soaring Eagle
@Daina
@mrselle
@Nefertiti0906
@RoundEyedGirl504
@LostInAdream
@ckisland
@Chicoro
@prettywingsx




Week 4: It's About to be Block History Month

Some people are peace stealers. They are always living in doubt and dysfunction.

As long as you have HOPE, you stay planted. But sometimes this can be a bad thing. What about that emotionally unavailable ex that still occasionally texts/calls you. What about the guys that you're dating that showed you their colors but you STILL hope they might pan out in the future. The difference in people who get what they want and people who DON'T is how people play their cards. Remember that a wise player can win with even a WEAK hand if they play the cards right. One way to do this is to CUT TIES with people who don't help you get to where you need to go.

Let's say you want a husband that is generous, stable, kind-hearted, and consistent. Well you have Joe over here that is CONSISTENT but he isn't generous. Over time, the more you spend time with him the more you feel like....well the problem isn't THAT bad. I could just buy my own things, I don't need his generosity or xyz. By you keeping the lines of communication open, you have HOPE he will change. You have HOPE you will change and you can deal with it. This HOPE keeps you away from getting what you want. MAKE SURE you make a list of what you want (house, car, man, friendships, children, and etc.) REJECT ANYTHING THAT IS NOT THAT to play your cards wisely.

Your life, emails, inbox, and even timeline should be full of positivity and people who honor YOU. Run in the direction where you are loved. Our brains are designed to focus on whatever we give our attention to the most. If you only focus on the negative you will start to manifest and notice the negative things in life. With this said, if we give voice to them and let those things remain our focus, the act of negativity will rewire our brains to notice and create even more negativity. Be CAREFUL about what you are noticing and therefore manifesting. The most dangerous thing we can do while on this feminine journey is to allow our negative thoughts to flourish. This is allowing negativity to do pushups in your brain. It becomes stronger each and every day. Delete or at least unfollow people that have lots of dysfunction. Delete or unfollow people who believe in normalized dysfunction. By subjecting yourself to people like this, you lower your vibrations. You begin thinking that all or most people in the world think or behave like this. Therefore, you start to believe that you can’t break the mold and obtain things OUT of this dysfunction. With this in mind we need to remember a few things:

• We need to be aware of our conditioning and predispositions.
  
• We need to be aware AND SELECTIVE of what information we are exposing ourselves to because it CREATES and DEEPENS our conditioning.
  
• We need to CREATE our new conditioning as needed in order to start believing that different is possible.

You have to protect your peace and take care of your emotional energy. If you're taking on all this extra drama, you're not going to have the emotional energy you need to focus on dreams, help build a firm foundation for your family, and stay in your feminine energy. If you'll put up some boundaries, your life will be more peaceful and more effective. Who could you block or limit yourself from for Block History Month?

• People who believe in going 50/50
  
• Women who are very masculine and stay telling their husbands off
  
• People that say it’s better to stay in dysfunctional marriages/relationships rather than work on yourself
  
• Negative people who are always complaining
  
• Men who are very feminine acting and don’t believe in protecting and providing for women.
  
• People who are WOKE
  
• People who continuously post Black Lives Matter, R. Kelly fiascos, and other politically charged stuff.
  
• You may have to limit TV, internet, and radio since it dominates the daily flow of information you see.

Ways to protect yourself

• Try to stay away from comments section online
  
• Learn how to just say my bit and leave
  
• Block, unfollow, or unfriend people who don’t bring you peace.
  
• Detox and take breaks from Social Media/TV/Radio as needed.
  
• Learn script phrases to end the argument and disengage: “What an interesting opinion.” Don’t engage after this.

Remember you are a product of your environment. If you surround yourself with positive people and positive messages, your echo chamber is going to be motivating, challenging, and push you forward to chase your dreams. So choose and CREATE an environment that will best develop you towards your objective which is to become a feminine woman. Analyze your life in terms of its environment. Are the things around your environment helping you towards success? Are they holding you back? How could you clean it up? Happy Block History Month.


Week 4 Challenge

Create an enviroment of positivity and encouragement. Run in the directions where you are loved. Run towards femininity, healthy relationships, fulfilling careers, and environments of positivity, faith, and hope.

1. Make a list of everything that you want. Block/Unfriend/Unfollow 20 people on your timeline/friend list that don’t HELP YOU GET CLOSER TO THIS and bring you peace.
   
2. Take a social media detox. Limit or take yourself away from social media for the entire week. Use feeling messages to note how you feel after the completion of a week detox.
   
3. Journal about with whom are you surrounding yourself? Where do you spend most of your free time? What are you doing daily? What kind of thoughts — both those from within and those from others — are you listening to daily? What are you disposing yourself to consciously and subconsciously?

 

[Chicoro]

Oh no! Maybe it's because I had to post all three weeks at once.

Do you find that too much information comes each week or is it that it is asking you to change how you act and the change is full on?

Neither of those, thank you. It's a lot of stuff to consider and I am not sure where to start. It takes me a minute to get started with brand new stuff!