Interracial: She's Black; He's White

[BroadstreetBully]

DANG! What state is this?

slightly OT - does anyone think when guys are extra-whipped is when they wanna be "hands-on" with your grooming rituals?

He's a country boy from SC. I knew of another white guy similar to that, if I remember correctly, he currently lives in Iowa. Very hands on with the hair. It's not unheard of. Which is why I rolleyes when I hear stories of BFs, SOs, and DHs tripping over natural hair. There are millions of men out there ready to dig their hands in. Like Chris Rock said, those hands be thirsty.

I guess the saying "once you go black you never go back" is true in this case.

Well he dated a black girl before me. Where he's from, there weren't many black girls there, so when he moved to a city with lots more black women, he went crazy. He's always trying to get his white male friends to date black girls, too. Overall nice guy, but a conservative and we just didn't see eye to eye on stuff. Funny how most of the white men I come across who openly prefer black women are the country, conservative types. I come across very few liberal white men who date IR but maybe that's just me. When it comes to white men, I always attract Republicans. This is probably why I am feeling less and less of a connection with WM. Very strange.

 

[Dare~to~Dream]

Well he dated a black girl before me. Where he's from, there weren't many black girls there, so when he moved to a city with lots more black women, he went crazy. He's always trying to get his white male friends to date black girls, too. Overall nice guy, but a conservative and we just didn't see eye to eye on stuff. Funny how most of the white men I come across who openly prefer black women are the country, conservative types. I come across very few liberal white men who date IR but maybe that's just me. When it comes to white men, I always attract Republicans. This is probably why I am feeling less and less of a connection with WM. Very strange.

Oh okay...but I guess it still rings true for this dude...after he had his first black woman...well you get the drift ...I always use to hear that saying (never really thought much about it). After reading your post, it sounds like this dude was always attracted to black women so when he moved to a diverse area...he got his opportunity to date them. Nothing wrong with that. About the conservative thing...that is an interesting dynamic because I always got the impression that most conservatives don't date interracially...but then again I think it depends on your location. In my area, there are plenty of conservatives...and interracial dating between black women and white men is RARE. People definitely believe in sticking to their own kind around these parts. I will admit, I wouldn't connect much with a dude who was consertative either. As I got I older, I realized I became more liberal...I would say I was moderate before but now ...

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Oh okay...but I guess it still rings true for this dude...after he had his first black woman...well you get the drift ...I always use to hear that saying (never really thought much about it). After reading your post, it sounds like this dude was always attracted to black women so when he moved to a diverse area...he got his opportunity to date them. Nothing wrong with that. About the conservative thing...that is an interesting dynamic because I always got the impression that most conservatives don't date interracially...but then again I think it depends on your location. In my area, there are plenty of conservatives...and interracial dating between black women and white men is RARE. People definitely believe in sticking to their own kind around these parts. I will admit, I wouldn't connect much with a dude who was consertative either. As I got I older, I realized I became more liberal...I would say I was moderate before but now ...

No you're absolutely right about that. It's the same here, very few WM/BW. It's just something I have noticed with men who show interest in me and my black friends. A majority of the white males I have attracted have been Republicans. Those are usually not my type.

 

[LovinLocks]

I'm a black female, 51 years old in a relationship w/ white man who is younger than me. It's going on 3 years. We started dating in December '06.

We practically live together, but I keep my place (no intention of selling it or renting it out either) so I have somewhere to go when I can't stand him.

WORK IT, GIRL

 

[LovinLocks]

When we disagree on racial issues, he knows to just STFU. We work well like that.

 

[Blyss_curls]

No you're absolutely right about that. It's the same here, very few WM/BW. It's just something I have noticed with men who show interest in me and my black friends. A majority of the white males I have attracted have been Republicans. Those are usually not my type.

I understand. I couldn't have a relationship with a republican, either. Though in my case, I dated a few black men who were republicans. I didn't understand them, and they didn't understand me. Though they seemed to think it was "cute" that they were dating a 'hippie chick" as they called me.

My husband is white (Irish), was raised by Democratic parents. He's also a Democrat, and more progressive than his family (on many issues). He and I have been married eleven years. We celebrated our anniversary earlier this month.

I would not be with him, if he was one of those liberal dudes who has issues with women.....**cough**......is sexist, or with any people of color. You know, like the liberal guys you find on the internet. The ones who go on ad nauseum about their rights as (liberal) men. But they can't seem to get a clue about women's oppression or the discrimination people of color frequently face daily.

My husband is kind and compassionate. BUT he's still a man. lol. So of course, he's not perfect.

 

[LovinLocks]

I am so feeling this women's blog. I went to Sun's blog and stumbled upon this one: http://interracialloveandspicebysara.blogspot.com/

 

[andromeda]

Call me crazy but I find non-black men who have a preference for BW to be unsettling. I wrote about in the other IR thread:

The only thing I'm weary of is dating a non-black man who only dates or has a very strong preference for black women. As great as we are:reddancer:, I think such a preference usually is the result of some underlying issues. Whether this preference stems from issues with their own race due to family or early dating experience or their acceptance of and attraction to stereotypes of black women, once I get a whiff of such a mentality, I. If the preference is simply the result of growing up in a predominantly black/mixed environment, then I guess it's less worrisome. I will not be a party to anyone's race issues (this goes for black men as well).

Re: conservative WM approaching me

I've had a variety of socially/politically-oriented WM show interest. One of them, who was also the oldest man I've dated, was a fiscal conservative and social moderate. Another was a Republican, through and through. I got on well with both of them, but especially related to the Republican. Then again I'm a Republican myself (but I don't generally "click" with all Repubs).

 

[Raspberry]

No you're absolutely right about that. It's the same here, very few WM/BW. It's just something I have noticed with men who show interest in me and my black friends. A majority of the white males I have attracted have been Republicans. Those are usually not my type.

Interestingly enough, the majority of BW/WM married couples I know are conservative and/or Christians.

 

[Bunny77]

Call me crazy but I find non-black men who have a preference for BW to be unsettling. I wrote about in the other IR thread:


Re: conservative WM approaching me

I've had a variety of socially/politically-oriented WM show interest. One of them, who was also the oldest man I've dated, was a fiscal conservative and social moderate. Another was a Republican, through and through. I got on well with both of them, but especially related to the Republican. Then again I'm a Republican myself (but I don't generally "click" with all Repubs).

I've found more semi-conservative Republican white men willing to approach me than so-called progressive white men.

Notice I didn't say Democrat specifically, even though most liberals would be... I just think back to all the super liberal progressive white dudes I knew growing up, men who grew up around tons of black people, and all of them married white women.

It was the one Republican white dude in my school who dated/married black.

(Again, not saying this is true across the board, but it's a trend I see somewhat.)

 

[Raspberry]

I've found more semi-conservative Republican white men willing to approach me than so-called progressive white men.

Notice I didn't say Democrat specifically, even though most liberals would be... I just think back to all the super liberal progressive white dudes I knew growing up, men who grew up around tons of black people, and all of them married white women.

It was the one Republican white dude in my school who dated/married black.

(Again, not saying this is true across the board, but it's a trend I see somewhat.)

I agree.. I can't come up with a concise reason why this is but it's definitely interesting to think about.

 

[exoticmommie]

I am so feeling this women's blog. I went to Sun's blog and stumbled upon this one: http://interracialloveandspicebysara.blogspot.com/

Just visited this site, and I admit I didn't really read it. I just looked at the pictures. There are a lot of actors and other yt men in power, who I had no clue about them being married to, or even attracted to black women.

My biggest shock was Luke Goss, who I think is a very fine specimen of a man, and I was always attracted to physicallity in movies. Was married to a black woman. He just embodies the yt womens dream of a handsome man so I admit I was shocked a black woman snatched him up.

Pictures for those who don't know who he is

In one night with the king

In Hell boy II (just remembered that hell boys wife is black as well)

He also was in blade II as the main villian. But that movie was gross to me.


When he was younger far left.

and check out his brother....

 

[Blaque*Angel]

I'm married to a beautiful black man

here in the UK, BW with WM is becoming very popular. a few years back you would of never saw this.

 

[Bunny77]

I agree.. I can't come up with a concise reason why this is but it's definitely interesting to think about.

I'd love to do a study on this.

I find this also to be true with entertainers.

Like I'd expect Eminem, for example, to be more likely to date black women than say, some rock star. Same with the boy band guys who usually are around black musicians and appropriate some of their styles... again, in theory.

Nope. They're always with white women.

The entertainers that are involved with or married to black women, usually aren't in black-oriented genres.

It's really intriguing to me!

 

[Blaque*Angel]

Just visited this site, and I admit I didn't really read it. I just looked at the pictures. There are a lot of actors and other yt men in power, who I had no clue about them being married to, or even attracted to black women.

My biggest shock was Luke Goss, who I think is a very fine specimen of a man, and I was always attracted to physicallity in movies. Was married to a black woman. He just embodies the yt womens dream of a handsome man so I admit I was shocked a black woman snatched him up.

Pictures for those who don't know who he is

In one night with the king

In Hell boy II (just remembered that hell boys wife is black as well)

He also was in blade II as the main villian. But that movie was gross to me.


When he was younger far left.

and check out his brother....

haha BROS..
Luke and Matt have always loved black women.

one dated sinita the other dated terri (simon cowell's ex)

this was in the 80's (i know because my sister used to go crazy over these twins, lol..she followed them world wide and met them several times!)

 

[andromeda]

I've found more semi-conservative Republican white men willing to approach me than so-called progressive white men.

Notice I didn't say Democrat specifically, even though most liberals would be... I just think back to all the super liberal progressive white dudes I knew growing up, men who grew up around tons of black people, and all of them married white women.

It was the one Republican white dude in my school who dated/married black.

(Again, not saying this is true across the board, but it's a trend I see somewhat.)

I definitely think there's something to your observation.

Living in NYC, specifically Brooklyn, I can't draw any conclusions either way about the political/social orientation of WM who date BW. All I can say is that those who identify as uber-liberal aren't always as predictably "progressive" in their dating choices and those who identify as conservative aren't as predictably "conservative" in their dating choices. Who one marries vs. who one dates is also an important part of this discussion and I don't know enough married couples to have a relevant observation.

Do you [or anyone else] have a theory on the tendency of moderate conservatives to approach BW? I want to take a stab at it but I'm going to have to mull it over some.

 

[Soliel185]

You're going to get a lot of yes answers on this board! It's not exactly representative here of real life!

I'm with a white dude right now.

<-- also currently with a white dude.

Okay - about conservative vs liberal:

I've been in relationships (some long, some short) with 6 white men - only one had conservative political leanings. Another was HARDCORE conservative/republican - that was doomed from the start. Once I found out that his mother was basically racist I decided to bow out. No thanks. One was from Georgia, and a well to do family. He'd never seen/known an IRR couple, but once I tipped him to my interest he took to it like a duck to water. His accent and upbringing were conservative, but he was kind of a hippy inside - very 'live and let live" The other three (including the current one) were/are very liberal and I had the longest relationships with them.

I am approached by older white men fairly often. Most of whom appear to be conservative - but it comes across as an experiment/"brown suga" craving more so than genuine interest.

 

[exoticmommie]

I too am married to beautiful black man, and that's why I didn't bother reading the site, some interesting tid bits, but too negative for me in regards to black men.

That being said, I do find it interesting that WM seem to be more interested in BW. I feel that this day and age, for a WM to be interested in dating and having a relationship with a BW. He must be genuine. Because it definitely is not a popular choice. When BM go out with other races it is portrayed like they are doing something good. Not so much the other way around. Even my DH who is black doesn't like how bw are portrayed and put down by the media, and how even people he knows personally applaud BM dating outside their race but not vice versa. He sees the hypocrisy and it troubles him. I think he probably notices it more, because he has 3 daughters to think about.

 

[Bunny77]

I am so feeling this women's blog. I went to Sun's blog and stumbled upon this one: http://interracialloveandspicebysara.blogspot.com/

Just visited this site, and I admit I didn't really read it. I just looked at the pictures. There are a lot of actors and other yt men in power, who I had no clue about them being married to, or even attracted to black women.

My biggest shock was Luke Goss, who I think is a very fine specimen of a man, and I was always attracted to physicallity in movies. Was married to a black woman. He just embodies the yt womens dream of a handsome man so I admit I was shocked a black woman snatched him up.

I know some of the IR blogs are somewhat controversial for a variety of reasons... I agree with Sara and Evia sometimes, and disagree on others, BUT, I think that the pictures are the strongest parts of those sites.

Evia said that her only point in putting those up was to disprove myths that people had about BW/WM relationships... that the only WM who would want BW were busted, or that WM would sleep with BW but not marry them... or that a BW had to be super light-skinned with bone-straight hair for a WM to be interested.

(I laugh when I hear people say these things, because it lets me know that they know jack about BW/WM IR relationships... but anyway...)

Showing the pictures seems to drive home the point more than the essays or anything else... the celebrity pictures are great, because like Exoticmommie says, it shows that you just never know what type of WM might be checking for a black woman that he likes.

Then the normal people pictures are cool too... just showing that it's not some crazy idea that regular black women and regular white/other men can meet, interact, fall in love, marry and have a family like anyone else.

Seems like no big deal, but a lot of BW are initially surprised when they see evidence of this!

 

[Soliel185]

I think when you click, you just click...that's it.

I dated a French guy (white). We met in graduate school.

Now ours was a situation where we were not only racially different, but culturally as well. He was born and raised in France and had been in the US maybe 2-3 years when i met him. Prior to that, he lived in England for a bit. We had different views on religion, he disliked American culture (wasteful, fat Americans, lol), his fam was somewhat well-off (mine is/was po' , lol) but for whatever reason we clicked so well and instantaneously...it was crazy actually.

Even though we had those things that separated us, we wound up being so compatible. We had little inside jokes, a little silly language, I'd tease him about his accent, he'd tease me about 'mine'. He was also very generous, caring and sweet. I always say people are brought into your life for a reason. I don't know if i would have made it through grad school had i not met him, he was my rock.

In the beginning, I sooo ignored his advances toward me. Mostly bc i didnt think he was serious. One day he invited me over to his house and cooked me a fabulous dinner and we talked for hours. I became more interested at that point, he seemed genuine.

There really is no formula for love. It doesnt matter if youve got everything in the world in common, similar upbringing or vastly different upbringing, different race or culture when you are around a person you like, you just know it...it may even surprise you that you like the particular person, but honestly that is out of your control.

I'd date 'out' again, i'm an equal opportunity dater.

My grandfather is French and when I went to Paris I noticed that the French are definitely open to breaking the color line.

 

[SW2011]

My fiance' is white. We've dated for almost 5 years, and we'll be getting married in June or July of 2010 (as soon as I confirm the church, I'll have the date).

I never imagined that I'd marry a white dude, but I've never been opposed to dating interracially. At the core of any man that would be for me, would be a heart that is seeking God, and I found that in my fiance'. That's what binds us, and everything else is secondary. Our values are the same and we have the same beliefs, so our lives aren't as complex and different as many people around us would assume. Like Lucie said, I often forget that he's white until someone else is surprised.

 

[Soliel185]

I know some of the IR blogs are somewhat controversial for a variety of reasons... I agree with Sara and Evia sometimes, and disagree on others, BUT, I think that the pictures are the strongest parts of those sites.

Evia said that her only point in putting those up was to disprove myths that people had about BW/WM relationships... that the only WM who would want BW were busted, or that WM would sleep with BW but not marry them... or that a BW had to be super light-skinned with bone-straight hair for a WM to be interested.

(I laugh when I hear people say these things, because it lets me know that they know jack about BW/WM IR relationships... but anyway...)

Showing the pictures seems to drive home the point more than the essays or anything else... the celebrity pictures are great, because like Exoticmommie says, it shows that you just never know what type of WM might be checking for a black woman that he likes.

Then the normal people pictures are cool too... just showing that it's not some crazy idea that regular black women and regular white/other men can meet, interact, fall in love, marry and have a family like anyone else.

Seems like no big deal, but a lot of BW are initially surprised when they see evidence of this!

Just the fact that when we see a "hot" white guy with a black chick we go "for reals???" and are shocked by it tells me that a large part of BW attitude about WM is mental and not based on reality.

 

[Bunny77]

<-- also currently with a white dude.

Okay - about conservative vs liberal:

I've been in relationships (some long, some short) with 6 white men - only one had conservative political leanings. Another was HARDCORE conservative/republican - that was doomed from the start. Once I found out that his mother was basically racist I decided to bow out. No thanks. One was from Georgia, and a well to do family. He'd never seen/known an IRR couple, but once I tipped him to my interest he took to it like a duck to water. His accent and upbringing were conservative, but he was kind of a hippy inside - very 'live and let live" The other three (including the current one) were/are very liberal and I had the longest relationships with them.

I am approached by older white men fairly often. Most of whom appear to be conservative - but it comes across as an experiment/"brown suga" craving more so than genuine interest.

I do believe that you are my IR dating twin, as we have had so many similar experiences.

Gawd, older white men loooove me. I'm so not interested, but if they want to buy me drinks while on the road, I won't stop 'em! (These are men in my industry that I'll see when we're at events/conferences and stuff... I know the deal and make sure that they get the idea that every one of our interactions will be out in the open with a whole lot of people around!)

I've had an NRA/Reagan-loving WM from Florida show serious interest and his mama was one of those, "Well, what about the children?" types. Yeah, that wasn't gonna work, but he was for real though in his interest.

The others have been more middle-of-the road. Only one true tree-hugging liberal hippie type, lol.

My current guy is more center-right, but like you said, he's the type to have traveled the world, interacted with many different people, etc., so his political leanings are based mostly on fiscal policies and his general upbringing in conservative towns, not any kind of closed-mindedness toward others.

 

[MizAvalon]

I'd love to do a study on this.

I find this also to be true with entertainers.

Like I'd expect Eminem, for example, to be more likely to date black women than say, some rock star. Same with the boy band guys who usually are around black musicians and appropriate some of their styles... again, in theory.

Nope. They're always with white women.

The entertainers that are involved with or married to black women, usually aren't in black-oriented genres.

It's really intriguing to me!

I've never given it that much thought but you make an interesting and very true point! A study on something like that would be so fascinating.

 

[exoticmommie]

Just the fact that when we see a "hot" white guy with a black chick we go "for reals???" and are shocked by it tells me that a large part of BW attitude about WM is mental and not based on reality.

For me, and from what I see it is reality, all I have to do is go to the ET forum. And I will get a healthy dose of what the media and what BM in the ET industry see as beautiful. I also have had BM family members, say some messed up crap. (I could go on and on with stories).

But IMO it should not be shock that some BW are shocked when they see someone, specifically a non black man, go against that. Now I know that we are supposed value ourselves and see our beauty and I do see that. Yet at the same time. I can't help but notice that the TV is trying to tell me otherwise. The only time I see some diversity is in the commercials.

So again, For me when I see Luke Goss (and apparently his brother) with a black women. I see it as, he went out of his way to be with her. He could have had any yt woman out there. He is very good looking and attractive, and to top it off famous. He could gotten a yt woman who could be said to be epitome of beauty. And I know that some of these yt actors loose fans because of them being associated with a bw (Colin Farrell is a big example). So they are on a whole nother level of societal pressure. Yet he choose to bypass all of that to be with a black woman. So to me that says a lot about said person. And in all honesty, it makes me think that black women in general must got it going on for non black men to go after them, even after the media has deemed our beauty not on the standard of yt women. And I have to agree.

ETA: That is what I was thinking looking at the pictures, sisters got it going on to still be pulling even though the media says we shouldn't.

 

[MizAvalon]

I remember Luke Goss from One Night With The King. I've never seen his brother before but they are both sexy.

How is that possible? Usually one brother is gorgeous and the other one is blah. There must be a third or fourth brother somewhere that got the short end of the good-looks stick.

 

[exoticmommie]

I remember Luke Goss from One Night With The King. I've never seen his brother before but they are both sexy.

How is that possible? Usually one brother is gorgeous and the other one is blah. There must be a third or fourth brother somewhere that got the short end of the good-looks stick.

OMG!

I thought the same thing, they said he had a brother, so when I looked him up I was expecting him to be ugly, au contraire.

 

[Blaque*Angel]

I remember Luke Goss from One Night With The King. I've never seen his brother before but they are both sexy.

How is that possible? Usually one brother is gorgeous and the other one is blah. There must be a third or fourth brother somewhere that got the short end of the good-looks stick.

identical twins...

 

[exoticmommie]

identical twins...

OK, but still I have seen some twins, and you are like ok, that one definitely looks better.

 

[Soliel185]

For me, and from what I see it is reality, all I have to do is go to the ET forum. And I will get a healthy dose of what the media and what BM in the ET industry see as beautiful. I also have had BM family members, say some messed up crap. (I could go on and on with stories).

But IMO it should not be shock that some BW are shocked when they see someone, specifically a non black man, go against that. Now I know that we are supposed value ourselves and see our beauty and I do see that. Yet at the same time. I can't help but notice that the TV is trying to tell me otherwise. The only time I see some diversity is in the commercials.

So again, For me when I see Luke Goss (and apparently his brother) with a black women. I see it as, he went out of his way to be with her. He could have had any yt woman out there. He is very good looking and attractive, and to top it off famous. He could gotten a yt woman who could be said to be epitome of beauty. And I know that some of these yt actors loose fans because of them being associated with a bw (Colin Farrell is a big example). So they are on a whole nother level of societal pressure. Yet he choose to bypass all of that to be with a black woman. So to me that says a lot about said person. And in all honesty, it makes me think that black women in general must got it going on for non black men to go after them, even after the media has deemed our beauty not on the standard of yt women. And I have to agree.

ETA: That is what I was thinking looking at the pictures, sisters got it going on to still be pulling even though the media says we shouldn't.

I understand that reaction - and I've had it at times. I wasn't judging you for what you wrote. That reaction is the natural product of the ideals and myths we've been indoctrinated with - both by family members and media. I can't even can't how many times I've had an extended family member say under their breath " yeah, but he ain't gonna marry yo a**"

I recognize that being shocked by any man's - no matter how beautiful/rich/talented - genuine interest in black women is wrong. It's an implied self-devaluing. Like - no way am I good enough for him. But being able to recognize it doesn't mean I'm completely free of it.

I love watching little blonde chicks do it in reverse with my SO. He's white and I'm in the vicinity but in their mind it's like ' no way is he with her.' and then they walk off all salty a few moments later - self confidence shaken by my BF's obvious lack of interest.