Feminine Belles - Info/discussion/support Thread

[TracyNicole]

Nefertiti0906 i'm really happy that you mentioned being a workaholic and how it affected your relationship at home. I have been experiencing the same thing and Melina mention that in the article this morning. She is admittedly a strong advocate of stay-at-home wives and mothers and that is not a realistic option for me at this point in life but it certainly made me wonder about reevaluating my priorities. Hearing you confirm this is excellent but I literally am going to look at my schedule and think about how I can start rearranging my day to prioritize my family life!

 

[Nefertiti0906]

Nefertiti0906 i'm really happy that you mentioned being a workaholic and how it affected your relationship at home. I have been experiencing the same thing and Melina mention that in the article this morning. She is admittedly a strong advocate of stay-at-home wives and mothers and that is not a realistic option for me at this point in life but it certainly made me wonder about reevaluating my priorities. Hearing you confirm this is excellent but I literally am going to look at my schedule and think about how I can start rearranging my day to prioritize my family life!

It is hard because I'm still VERY career driven, however I'm learning to be more strategic at work so I don't have to waste hours. I've also let him into my career aspirations and I ask a lot for his advice so that has helped out because he feels more included. He's very supportive of my aspirations to be a senior executive (as long as I don't neglect home.)

 

[sgold04]

I'm interested in joining! I've made a conscious effort to be less feminine over the past few years due to excessive street harassment and some pretty scary situations in my current city, but I'm moving soon and want to tap into my femininity, I miss her lol. I also realized that I DO NOT know how to talk to men, for a group that prides themselves on logic, they sure can't handle directness hehe. I'm ready!!

 

[BK Bombshell]

I'm interested in joining! I've made a conscious effort to be less feminine over the past few years due to excessive street harassment and some pretty scary situations in my current city, but I'm moving soon and want to tap into my femininity, I miss her lol. I also realized that I DO NOT know how to talk to men, for a group that prides themselves on logic, they sure can't handle directness hehe. I'm ready!!

Unfortunately that's a problem for a lot of us, myself included. There was a poster here, Little Golden Lamb, that talked about it in the Sense and Sensuality post (I think). She called them manimals. In the current atmosphere, we're so far removed from respecting women/femininity that it's tragic. Equally tragic is how many of us have had to hide one of our greatest assets because we don't feel protected/cherished by the men we encounter daily. I still think we can turn the tide though.

 

[sgold04]

Unfortunately that's a problem for a lot of us, myself included. There was a poster here, Little Golden Lamb, that talked about it in the Sense and Sensuality post (I think). She called them manimals. In the current atmosphere, we're so far removed from respecting women/femininity that it's tragic. Equally tragic is how many of us have had to hide one of our greatest assets because we don't feel protected/cherished by the men we encounter daily. I still think we can turn the tide though.

I wish there was a "love" button. I will be using the term manimals from now on, a perfect description.

 

[sweetvi]

Ive accepted all her blog invitations but when I go to reader, i can't seem to find the articles.... ?

Ive figured it out.. once i open the articles, then I would have to click on the follow tab on the upper left hand corner. Then i can access the articles under the title blogs I follow tab on my main page. Hope this helps someone

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I want to add @Crystalicequeen123 that Fascinating Girl/Woman is a potentially life changing read. It is definitely not for the faint-hearted but I like authors who 'pull no punches'.

Whoo! I'm trying to combine The Rules with Feminine Belle and Fascinating Girl/Woman as my nightly reading package and trying to act on the teaching during my day to day activities. Kon Mari method is being added to my action list.

Way to go @JollyGal!! I've read both books and both were eye-opening. I STILL refer to "The Rules" every now and then, and I've decided to dust off my Fascinating Womanhood book again and just refer back to a few of the principles. It really does make a HUGE difference.

Example: There was once a guy friend that I knew of back in my homestate, and we used to always playfully debate back and forth about various topics, and while sometimes it was fun (I'll be honest), at other times it could be a real pain in the butt... I just got tired of the arguing about silly stuff for no good reason, and I got tired of guys treating me like a buddy-buddy pal. So, one day he picked me up to go somewhere, and I had been reading the book "Fascinating Womanhood" and decided to put the "principles" to practice.... Well, at first he tried to start engaging me in another one of our playful debates (like usual), and while the OLD me would correct him on something he was wrong about, or just debate back and forth with one of his beliefs, this time I just stayed quiet. I just smiled sweetly, allowed him to speak, and carefully chose my words and phrases to be lighter, softer, and more feminine. I even acted more sweetly, and didn't try to challenge him on anything.

Yes, I did feel like I was being so "fake" and "phony", but at the end of the night I found that my guy friend totally changed his demeanor around me! He became softer, more tender, and I actually found that I enjoyed my time around him MORE! I finally felt what it felt like to be treated like a WOMAN and not a "girl-pal". The difference was so shocking (like night and day) that I decided from that day on that this was something I was going to remember for as long as I live when it came to dealing w/men. Sometimes we as women have to pick and choose our battles wisely... This is something I STILL struggle with to this day lol.

i feel like everything is coming together for some reason. I have an inkling to get a new bedroom set and repaint my room for some reason. Today I decided to put on a dress ,fix my hair and slight makeup and got so many positive responses. For example, I walked into the Tmobile store and the reps were all running to me . of course i got the cutest guy who flirted with me. Then I went to publix and felt stares .. hmm there is something to this feminity after all

I'm not surprised. Men LOVE a feminine woman. STRAIGHT men I should say lol. The difference is like night and day honestly.

I purchased. I love reading and reveling in my femininity. It is a big change from how I was raised, so I can't get enough positive reinforcement.

To be honest, I would venture to say that MANY BW have been raised to suppress their femininity...whether they realize it or not. We may not have been told directly to not be feminine, but when you say for example live with a single bw mother who can "do it all by herself" and "doesn't need a man" then you start internalizing that.

We always hear phrases such as:

"girl you better get a college education because you want something to fall back on just in case a man doesn't come as quickly as you'd like...."

"don't wear that! Keep your legs closed. Men only want one thing. You don't want to get too much attention."

"you're such a STRONG black woman..."


While there's nothing wrong with being a single mother, getting a good education, being modest, or being "strong", it just seems like we as BW are taught more to suppress our femininity more so than a lot of women of other races. It's like the world depends on us. Our men depend on us. We are the "mules of the earth" as one famous black author put it. It just gets TIRING.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I'm really enjoying this thread. Since last year becoming more feminine has been a goal of mine. I'm a natural leader, someone who is used to being in charge. I don't want that in my marriage. I want a masculine guy and to get him I need to be a feminine woman.

During the Calling in the one challenge, I also read "Fascinating womanhood". What an eye opener! I'm Christian so the religious aspect didn't bother me. It's staying quiet when he's making mistakes that did. *deep breath* Lawd...

Anyway, thanks to the fascinating womanhood book I've been wearing more dresses and skirts. And lemme tell you!! Not a day goes by when I have a dress on that a man doesn't compliment me or goes out of his way to help me with something. I love it! I'm so grateful that I learned all this while single!! My future husband is one lucky man!!

YESS to all of this in bold!!

I'm the same way. I'm the oldest of my siblings, so I'm used to being the "leader" or "in charge", but I definitely don't want that in my relationships/marriage. Some women LOVE being "in charge" in their relationships and they don't mind being with more passive men. I'm not like that.... I want a MASCULINE (not domineering or chauvinistic mind you) man, and to attract that type you have to be more feminine. One of the most profound pieces of info from that book I posted "Powerful & Feminine" was a quote by the author that said something to the effect that if a woman is kind of lukewarm in her femininity or more in the middle (not fully feminine, not fully masculine....asexual in other words), then she will probably find that she will more likely attract more asexual (not fully masculine, not quite feminine) men as well. When she mentioned this it was like I had an A-HA moment! It's JUST like a magnet. You attract the polar opposite of you.

Oh and yea since I'm a Christian, the principles in her book didn't bother me either lol, but I know not all women are from a Christian background, and some would probably be offended by some of the things in the book. I say, read and keep what you want, and just disregard anything else that doesn't pertain to you. #shrug

Oh and yes, I've been trying to re-evaluate my wardrobe to see if the colors and styles are more feminine or more masculine. When I shop now I go for more classic womanly styles. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE the styles of the 1920's - 1950's era! I try to find patterns/styles of dress that more copies the classiness and feminine nature of this time period. I find that back then men seemed to be men, and women seemed to be WOMEN. Not muddled/or in the middle like it is today.

 

[MizAvalon]

I signed up to her mailing list years ago when I first heard about her blog here. I still read most of the ones that are sent and while the info is good, it's repetitive after a while. Not to mention, much of what she says can be found in any one of the femininity threads that are floating around here. Is the info in the paid version drastically different from the partial blogs? That's why I never bothered paying because I figured that it was just more of the same.

 

[MizAvalon]

So I was reading on the blog yesterday and the simplicity of this statement really struck me. "The feminine woman knows that for the masculine man, she needs to have his food ready, his clothes ready, and the bed ready ~ and he will be content." This made me really start thinking. Can it really be this simple? I have heard this so many times but have refused to accept it. I really would like to explore this concept more. Do you ladies have any experience to attest to the veracity of the above statement?

This is true in my case. My husband is a simple man with simple tastes.

 

[ladysaraii]

I haven't read the later Fascinating Womanhood books, but I did read the one from 1922. I like a lot of the books from the 20s. It's not as dark ages as you might think.

 

[girlonfire]

Wow. I remember just coming upon this blog in my quest for the perfect feminine lifestyle probably last summer! I love that it's a thread.

 

[caribeandiva]

How to have ultra feminine style!! I love every picture she posted in this post: https://thefemininebelle.wordpress.com/2015/04/10/ultra-feminine-style/

I will be looking for similar pieces when I go shopping. Fascinating womanhood also described dressing the same way.

 

[sweetvi]

How to have ultra feminine style!! I love every picture she posted in this post: https://thefemininebelle.wordpress.com/2015/04/10/ultra-feminine-style/

I will be looking for similar pieces when I go shopping. Fascinating womanhood also described dressing the

I'm so glad you brought this up. I notice I have cute dresses but no cute blouses. We should start listing websites we know that is affordable and help us find some cute pieces like the pictures in the blog.

I'm so glad you brought this up. I notice I have cute dresses but no cute blouses. We should start listing websites we know that is affordable and help us find some cute pieces like the pictures in the blog.

 

[caribeandiva]

Try www.lightinthebox.com

 

[sweetvi]

I remember that site lol

 

[Kimbosheart]

Be careful with "affordable" cheap material isn't soft and it doesn't flatter. I would suggest sales. Lots of mid point brands have amazing sales. I don't like their suiting collection fabric but I do like the skirts and dresses at New York and company for super girly looks

 

[JollyGal]

Hi Belles,

I just started reading Path to Femininity book 1 on the OP list. It is a good place to start for Belles who are new to Melina's material. This courses feels like the next "natural" step to move on to. I have been skim reading The Art of Femininity blog which we get full access to. There is so much information to absorb.

@caribeandiva Yes to fluffy soft huggable material! I almost started clapping when I read what Melina wrote about ultimate feminine style. Summer is coming up so fluffy material is probably not going to feel nice in the hot weather. The only time (in this season) I would want to wear fluffy or faux fur is in the evening as part of a evening dress cover up. Velvet (or velour what is the difference?) seems like the next best thing to create a look of softness and luxury. Silks and Satins for very hot weather

Here is a velour dress that would look fantastic in red or dark pink
http://www.jdwilliams.co.uk/shop/to...details/show.action?pdBoUid=1230#colour:,size:

Sometimes velvet can look a bit cheap perhaps that is why it is usually in dark jewel tones.

 

[JollyGal]

I signed up to her mailing list years ago when I first heard about her blog here. I still read most of the ones that are sent and while the info is good, it's repetitive after a while. Not to mention, much of what she says can be found in any one of the femininity threads that are floating around here. Is the info in the paid version drastically different from the partial blogs? That's why I never bothered paying because I figured that it was just more of the same.

@MizAvalon I have to agree with you so far. Some of the writing is repetitive and the recipes for tooth whitening (for example) can be found online. IMO the feminine threads and the feminine belle are complementary to each other. I do like that the materials frequently refers to historical/cultural figures and comes across as very well researched.
Fascinating Girl is similar it refers to historical fictional figures (victor hugo's women characters) or women from the bible.
The layout of the blogs works for me and my ability to be easily distracted something as small as a colorful picture is a nice break for the eyes after absorbing so much writing.
Melina put a copyright disclaimer on the Art of Courtesanry perhaps she intends to release it to the general public?

I remember reading some of her blog entries in the past before they became subscription based. I remember being annoyed that I missed out on this valuable and at the time FREE information I guess I did not value the information provided at the time but now I am in a place where I can fully absorb her information. Melina is right she is one of the pioneers of the online feminine movement and has been writing this material for almost a decade. That is part of the reason why I subscribed to be part of the Belle academy. The full blogs go into the application of the material and give examples of actions we can take to make it work.

OMG am I waffling?
Can any other ladies chime in to answer Mizavalon's question?

 

[caribeandiva]

YESS to all of this in bold!!

I'm the same way. I'm the oldest of my siblings, so I'm used to being the "leader" or "in charge", but I definitely don't want that in my relationships/marriage. Some women LOVE being "in charge" in their relationships and they don't mind being with more passive men. I'm not like that.... I want a MASCULINE (not domineering or chauvinistic mind you) man, and to attract that type you have to be more feminine. One of the most profound pieces of info from that book I posted "Powerful & Feminine" was a quote by the author that said something to the effect that if a woman is kind of lukewarm in her femininity or more in the middle (not fully feminine, not fully masculine....asexual in other words), then she will probably find that she will more likely attract more asexual (not fully masculine, not quite feminine) men as well. When she mentioned this it was like I had an A-HA moment! It's JUST like a magnet. You attract the polar opposite of you.

Oh and yea since I'm a Christian, the principles in her book didn't bother me either lol, but I know not all women are from a Christian background, and some would probably be offended by some of the things in the book. I say, read and keep what you want, and just disregard anything else that doesn't pertain to you. #shrug

Oh and yes, I've been trying to re-evaluate my wardrobe to see if the colors and styles are more feminine or more masculine. When I shop now I go for more classic womanly styles. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE the styles of the 1920's - 1950's era! I tr I've read both books and both were eye-opening. I STILL refer to "The Rules" every now and then, and I've decided to dust off my Fascinating Womanhood book again and just refer back to a few of the principles. It really does make a HUGE difference.

Example: There was once a guy friend that I knew of back in my homestate, and we used to always playfully debate back and forth about various topics, and while sometimes it was fun (I'll be honest), at other times it could be a real pain in the butt... I just got tired of the arguing about silly stuff for no good reason, and I got tired of guys treating me like a buddy-buddy pal. So, one day he picked me up to go somewhere, and I had been reading the book "Fascinating Womanhood" and decided to put the "principles" to practice.... Well, at first he tried to start engaging me in another one of our playful debates (like usual), and while the OLD me would correct him on something he was wrong about, or just debate back and forth with one of his beliefs, this time I just stayed quiet. I just smiled sweetly, allowed him to speak, and carefully chose my words and phrases to be lighter, softer, and more feminine. I even acted more sweetly, and didn't try to challenge him on anything.

Yes, I did feel like I was being so "fake" and "phony", but at the end of the night I found that my guy friend totally changed his demeanor around me! He became softer, more tender, and I actually found that I enjoyed my time around him MORE! I finally felt what it felt like to be treated like a WOMAN and not a "girl-pal". The difference was so shocking (like night and day) that I decided from that day on that this was something I was going to remember for as long as I live when it came to dealing w/men. Sometimes we as women have to pick and choose our battles wisely... This is something I STILL struggle with to this day lol.



I'm not surprised. Men LOVE a feminine woman. STRAIGHT men I should say lol. The difference is like night and day honestly.



To be honest, I would venture to say that MANY BW have been raised to suppress their femininity...whether they realize it or not. We may not have been told directly to not be feminine, but when you say for example live with a single bw mother who can "do it all by herself" and "doesn't need a man" then you start internalizing that.

We always hear phrases such as:

"girl you better get a college education because you want something to fall back on just in case a man doesn't come as quickly as you'd like...."

"don't wear that! Keep your legs closed. Men only want one thing. You don't want to get too much attention."

"you're such a STRONG black woman..."


While there's nothing wrong with being a single mother, getting a good education, being modest, or being "strong", it just seems like we as BW are taught more to suppress our femininity more so than a lot of women of other races. It's like the world depends on us. Our men depend on us. We are the "mules of the earth" as one famous black author put it. It just gets TIRING.

@Crystalicequeen123 That experiment you tried on your guy friend was eye opening. I always thought it was good to argue with men and debate with them any chance I get. I thought it meant that I was showing them that I am smart and can hold my own with them. You're right that it's gonna feel fake to me the first time I hold my tongue and act more demure. This is tough. I'm used to giving men orders. I have 6 younger brothers after all.

 

[caribeandiva]

@JollyGal I'm sticking with the free blog. I can't compare the 2 yet.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Just subscribed the Melina's blog.

 

[sweetvi]

Be careful with "affordable" cheap material isn't soft and it doesn't flatter. I would suggest sales. Lots of mid point brands have amazing sales. I don't like their suiting collection fabric but I do like the skirts and dresses at New York and company for super girly looks

Thanks. Maybe I should try off Saks fifth Avenue or Macy's. I have cute dresses and pants but want to upgrade my tops. They look so casual and not girly

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

How long did it take for everyone to receive emails from Melina? I need my ish today. I am so impatient.

 

[TracyNicole]

How long did it take for everyone to receive emails from Melina? I need my ish today. I am so impatient.

My emails came late in the evening.

 

[caribeandiva]

Thanks. Maybe I should try off Saks fifth Avenue or Macy's. I have cute dresses and pants but want to upgrade my tops. They look so casual and not girly

Also try Nordstrom rack

 

[TracyNicole]

I signed up to her mailing list years ago when I first heard about her blog here. I still read most of the ones that are sent and while the info is good, it's repetitive after a while. Not to mention, much of what she says can be found in any one of the femininity threads that are floating around here. Is the info in the paid version drastically different from the partial blogs? That's why I never bothered paying because I figured that it was just more of the same.

This question is difficult to answer. I would say that the free information has value. The reason there is so much similarity between the blogs/articles and the forum threads is that we have used many of the same books as reference. If you read her back story, she did tons of research and self guided learning and her writing is her way of sharing what she has learned. For example, Fascinating Womanhood, Powerful and Feminine, etc are on her Amazon guide to femininity readings.

I think the main difference is that the paid blog delves a slight bit deeper. For example, the last article in the Wife School series, Sex 101 goes into why it's important on the free blog. The paid one includes the exact same information however the remaining half includes actual action items to improve your marital sex life. The preview is more like the background information and the paid portion is the instructions for how to implement what was discussed. HTH!

 

[Kimbosheart]

The top in the link with the bow in the back is at New York and Company right now, buy one get one 50% off and they have a few coupons for an extra $50 off your purchase or a certain price. I swear I don't work for them, lol.

J. crew outlet is decent, banana republic outlet can have good sales also. Just find your style an subscribe to the emails. I also love the Ann Taylor sales. For casual wear, I like lulu's and anthropologie.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

How do you ladies dress professional and feminine? To me, it seems hard to merge the my work attire and femininity.

 

[caribeandiva]

This YouTuber has very feminine style.