YESS to all of this in bold!!
I'm the same way. I'm the oldest of my siblings, so I'm used to being the "leader" or "in charge", but I definitely don't want that in my relationships/marriage.
Some women LOVE being "in charge" in their relationships and they don't mind being with more passive men. I'm not like that....
I want a MASCULINE (not domineering or chauvinistic mind you) man, and to attract that type you have to be more feminine.
One of the most profound pieces of info from that book I posted "Powerful & Feminine" was a quote by the author that said something to the effect that if a woman is kind of lukewarm in her femininity or more in the middle (not fully feminine, not fully masculine....asexual in other words), then she will probably find that she will more likely attract more asexual (not fully masculine, not quite feminine) men as well. When she mentioned this it was like I had an A-HA moment!
It's JUST like a magnet. You attract the polar opposite of you.
Oh and yea since I'm a Christian, the principles in her book didn't bother me either lol, but I know not all women are from a Christian background, and some would probably be offended by some of the things in the book. I say, read and keep what you want, and just disregard anything else that doesn't pertain to you. #shrug
Oh and yes, I've been trying to re-evaluate my wardrobe to see if the colors and styles are more feminine or more masculine. When I shop now I go for more classic womanly styles.
I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE the styles of the 1920's - 1950's era! I tr
I've read both books and both were eye-opening. I STILL refer to "The Rules" every now and then, and I've decided to dust off my Fascinating Womanhood book again and just refer back to a few of the principles. It really does make a HUGE difference.
Example: There was once a guy friend that I knew of back in my homestate, and we used to always playfully debate back and forth about various topics, and while sometimes it was fun (I'll be honest), at other times it could be a real pain in the butt...
I just got tired of the arguing about silly stuff for no good reason, and I got tired of guys treating me like a buddy-buddy pal. So, one day he picked me up to go somewhere, and I had been reading the book "Fascinating Womanhood" and decided to put the "principles" to practice.... Well, at first he tried to start engaging me in another one of our playful debates (like usual), and while the OLD me would correct him on something he was wrong about, or just debate back and forth with one of his beliefs, this time I just stayed quiet. I just smiled sweetly, allowed him to speak, and carefully chose my words and phrases to be lighter,
softer, and more feminine. I even acted more sweetly, and didn't try to challenge him on anything.
Yes, I did feel like I was being so "fake" and "phony", but at the end of the night I found that my guy friend totally changed his demeanor around me! He became softer, more tender, and I actually found that I enjoyed my time around him MORE! I finally felt what it felt like to be treated like a WOMAN and not a "girl-pal". The difference was so shocking (like night and day) that I decided from that day on that this was something I was going to remember for as long as I live when it came to dealing w/men. Sometimes we as women have to pick and choose our battles wisely...
This is something I STILL struggle with to this day lol.
I'm not surprised. Men LOVE a feminine woman. STRAIGHT men I should say lol.
The difference is like night and day honestly.
To be honest, I would venture to say that MANY BW have been raised to suppress their femininity...whether they realize it or not. We may not have been told directly to not be feminine, but when you say for example live with a single bw mother who can "do it all by herself" and "doesn't need a man" then you start internalizing that.
We always hear phrases such as:
"girl you better get a college education because you want something to fall back on just in case a man doesn't come as quickly as you'd like...."
"don't wear that! Keep your legs closed. Men only want one thing. You don't want to get too much attention."
"you're such a STRONG black woman..."
While there's nothing wrong with being a single mother, getting a good education, being modest, or being "strong", it just seems like we as BW are taught more to suppress our femininity more so than a lot of women of other races.
It's like the world depends on us. Our men depend on us. We are the "mules of the earth" as one famous black author put it. It just gets TIRING.