Do other races of men approach you?

[lushcoils]

23 in the DC area. I've heard some bw women in the DC area have success with non-black men approaching (though most of these men seem to be 30+, from an online dating site, under the influence, and/or in need of a green card) and some don't have success. This area is very diverse, but racial relations in the DC area are a bit weird with the gentrification, social class, and immigration issues. But again that doesn't stop women, children, or older men from talking to or complimenting me.

 

[HollyGolightly]

I'm also in the DC area and I get hit on by all ethnicities. I get the most attention from European and Middle Eastern men. When I rock my natural hair I attract more non-Black men, especially Hispanic guys. American white guys tend to only approach me when they're drunk, and I hardly get any attention from Japanese or Chinese guys, only "urban" Southeast Asians.

When I was single I got a lot of attention from Jewish and Persian guys online.

 

[Thiends]

Hi ladies, I was at the bar last night for St. Patty's Day, and it was a predominately white bar. However, there were quite a few black women in the bar. I observed that none of the white men, or other races of men were approaching the black women. I just find this to be interesting. My female friend said its because we as black women have the stigma about us. Then I thought maybe too because I'm in Michigan, where there are rarely any black women/white male couples. Is it like this in other places where white men rarely approach black women? Do you yourself find yourself being approached by white men?

That's funny because I, too, was out for St. Patty's Day at a bar where I was the only black woman. I was approached within ten minutes by a group of white guys who kept my friend and I with expensive drinks. I think a lot has to do with vibe. People pick up cues from clothing, facial expression, voice, who you're hanging out with etc. Sometimes the assumptions made based on these cues are unfair, but there are definitely black women who I would not approach if I was a white guy who didn't have a fetish for being shot down publicly.

 

[sky_blu]

Are black women/white men couples common in florida?

NO But black men/white women ALL DAY! I have had white men interested in me but they had moved here from other places or were older white men. Doesn't happen to often though. My area (Tampa Bay Area) does have a lot of hispanic population and I find that A LOT of Mexican guys are interested in black women (and they don't hide it).

 

[WhipEffectz1]

That's funny because I, too, was out for St. Patty's Day at a bar where I was the only black woman. I was approached within ten minutes by a group of white guys who kept my friend and I with expensive drinks. I think a lot has to do with vibe. People pick up cues from clothing, facial expression, voice, who you're hanging out with etc. Sometimes the assumptions made based on these cues are unfair, but there are definitely black women who I would not approach if I was a white guy who didn't have a fetish for being shot down publicly.

This is true! I am easy to get along with and always keep a smile on my face. This makes me approachable to all types of men.

 

[serendipity]

For the most part I attract either Africans or white men aged 50+ which baffles me as I'm in my 20's. When I'm approached by young(er) white men, they are drunk. Online, I get responses mostly from African men and a few Indians.

 

[YasashiiSekai]

I think it just depends on the area....

When I lived in Baltimore to go to college, I was approached by Black and African men. I guess because thats all I was around at the time.

I live in L.A. now and have for most of my life. I get approached by Black and Hispanic men. One White man looked at me for a hot second but never approached me.

I believe the only reason why I have a White boyfriend currently is because I met him online.

 

[RocStar]

Yes, but somehow, no matter the race, the men that approach me are way too young for me. Folks trying to make me a cougar before I am ready.

 

[Angelicus]

No. I don't know why I want some white chocolate.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

I get a approached by non-black men in the south wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more than up north. I thought it would be the other way around

 

[SheenaVee]

I get stared at by allsorts of men. (even when I'm with my BF) At bars and stuff I get approached by mostly non black men since I went natural, but black guys still approach.

I agree that white men need more of a signal that you're interested. I found that when I made eye contact and/or smiled at them then they would approach. But I smile a lot, in general, anyway.

Honestly, I think if you look friendly, approachable, not like you're gonna bite their head off if they approach then you'll get approached more.

And I mean that for ANY race guy.

 

[Thiends]

This is true! I am easy to get along with and always keep a smile on my face. This makes me approachable to all types of men.

WhipEffectz1 and CarmelCupcake: I am not even sure it is about smiling because I often look forbidding in public. I wasn't smiling at the bar on St. Patrick's day. In fact, my friend and I were about to leave the bar from annoyance at how crowded it was when white guys converged on us and asked us to stay. I think there is just an "interracial-friendly" vibe that some have and it's not necessarily a good, approachable vibe nor is it necessarily a bad, sellout vibe. White men just approach me way more than black men do and always have. When I think about it more, I realize that while the vibe has to do with clothing, demeanor, makeup, posture etc, it's also more than that. As I type this, I realize it might have to do with making eye contact with white men and other behaviors that show comfort. I make comfortable eye contact with white guys because they are not novelties to me. They are not special or exotic or repulsive or forbidden fruit to me; I am not flattered or offended by their attention. They are just men. Maybe they sense this. Funnily, I would prefer to be approached by black men more often. Maybe I have the wrong vibe for black men!

 

[WhipEffectz1]

WhipEffectz1 and CarmelCupcake: I am not even sure it is about smiling because I often look forbidding in public. I wasn't smiling at the bar on St. Patrick's day. In fact, my friend and I were about to leave the bar from annoyance at how crowded it was when white guys converged on us and asked us to stay. I think there is just an "interracial-friendly" vibe that some have and it's not necessarily a good, approachable vibe nor is it necessarily a bad, sellout vibe. White men just approach me way more than black men do and always have. When I think about it more, I realize that while the vibe has to do with clothing, demeanor, makeup, posture etc, it's also more than that. As I type this, I realize it might have to do with making eye contact with white men and other behaviors that show comfort. I make comfortable eye contact with white guys because they are not novelties to me. They are not special or exotic or repulsive or forbidden fruit to me; I am not flattered or offended by their attention. They are just men. Maybe they sense this. Funnily, I would prefer to be approached by black men more often. Maybe I have the wrong vibe for black men!

True! I just always attributed it to my personality. But you may be on to something dear.

 

[lushcoils]

^^
Thiends
Did you or your friend make eye contact with the group of men that approached you?

Just wondering if the go out with your non-black friend advice is always necessary, was your friend black or non-black?

And this may not be PC , and I think I already know the answer, but can you go into specifics about what clothing, demeanor, makeup, posture = interracial friendly?

 

[EbonyEyes]

@RachelRegina he is a British actor his name is Richard Armitage.

MarriageMaterial, now I know you've seen the North & South. Wasn't he just amazing?

 

[Thiends]

^^
Thiends
Did you or your friend make eye contact with the group of men that approached you?

lushcoils: Yes, as we were walking out of the bar, I felt eyes on me. I briefly returned the guy's glance the I would anyone else's then I looked away. Immediately, he came after me and actually stood in front of me asking me to stay and have a drink with him.

Just wondering if the go out with your non-black friend advice is always necessary, was your friend black or non-black?

My friend was non-black, but I don't think it made a difference because it might not have actually been clear that I was with her. The crowd was so thick that she was a few feet behind me as we walked through. I've been approached by non-black guys even when I was with a group of black women. Naturally, if women are mean-mugging, guys won't approach. Apart from that, I haven't found that the race of the friends I am with has mattered much.

And this may not be PC , and I think I already know the answer, but can you go into specifics about what clothing, demeanor, makeup, posture = interracial friendly?

Hard to explain. Pink Friday lipstick, hoop earrings, black leggings, and other "urban" fashions aren't going to help one's crossover appeal, but it's more than that. I can only say that black female equivalents of Kelly Rowland, Kerry Washington, Tomiko Fraser, Brandy and Zoe Saldana would be more likely to be approached by non-black men in every day life than Sanaa Lathan, Beyonce, Eva Marcille (as she looks nowadays), Monica, Lala (even at her most stylish), and Keyshia Cole (even without the tattoos).

 

[MizAvalon]

@MarriageMaterial, now I know you've seen the North & South. Wasn't he just amazing?

You didn't ask me but he sure was.

 

[EbonyEyes]

I've been approached by Hispanic men (that's more of an ethnicity than a race but I digress). I've had white men stare at me but never approach me.

My mother attracts men of all races, especially older, white men. They are always complimenting her and want to take her out to lunch. My mother is happily married so she respectfully declines.

My mother is incredibly beautiful and is very friendly. Her makeup is flawless, her hair is always on point, and she dresses to impress 95% of the time. I, on the other hand don't wear makeup and would wear t-shirts and sweatpants all the time if I could.

 

[Renewed1]

@MarriageMaterial, now I know you've seen the North & South. Wasn't he just amazing?

Girl YES!!! As long as I have netflix that will always be in my queue. With a few episodes of Spooks.

Unfortunately, living in America, I don't have access to all of his shows. So I'm trying to find them online so I can download it at least.

 

[Renewed1]

Hard to explain. Pink Friday lipstick, hoop earrings, black leggings, and other "urban" fashions aren't going to help one's crossover appeal, but it's more than that. I can only say that black female equivalents of Kelly Rowland, Kerry Washington, Tomiko Fraser, Brandy and Zoe Saldana would be more likely to be approached by non-black men in every day life than Sanaa Lathan, Beyonce, Eva Marcille (as she looks nowadays), Monica, Lala (even at her most stylish), and Keyshia Cole (even without the tattoos).

Thiends, I agree with you 100%. I've never been the "beyonce" type of dresser and it open to me being approach outside of my race. I"m not saying you have to totally convert or whatever, because there are white/asian, etc men that like them some Bey.

 

[lushcoils]

I think the Keyshia Cole/LaLa/Monica type of Black women will attract the Paul Wall types of non-black men the most. I'm surprised you said that about Sanaa. She seems like she could have universal appeal. No comment on Eva Marcille with her new hairdo. I don't agree with what you said about Brandy because of her lacefronts.

 

[JollyGal]

Is this the main key? It seems like many are approached without giving signals though.

Just to clarify, when I say signals I mean non-verbal. I do not believe in making the first physical or verbal move.

IMO it's the main key if you're interested in a man. I do agree with you that many black women have been approached by non-black men without ever having to give signals. I think this is because those women present themselves as worthy, attractive, friendly, happy and other positive adjectives . I have been approached by non-black men who I would not have noticed without their approach. I do not know what the success rate of marriage is with black women who do not give signals and black women who do give signals. It would be interesting to find out.

 

[Thiends]

I think the Keyshia Cole/LaLa/Monica type of Black women will attract the Paul Wall types of non-black men the most.

Most non-black men do not fall into the Pall Wall category, however.

I'm surprised you said that about Sanaa. She seems like she could have universal appeal.

Even the non-black guys I know who are really into black women aren't into her. She's definitely a black person's type of black woman and I can't quite articulate why, even though I understand why.

No comment on Eva Marcille with her new hairdo. I don't agree with what you said about Brandy because of her lacefronts.

Brandy would attract non-black men even if she wore the most horrible lacefront one could find. That intangible something that black people find consistently "corny" about Brandy is precisely what would be deemed "refreshing" and "approachable" by non-blacks.

 

[RegaLady]

Most non-black men do not fall into the Pall Wall category, however.Even the non-black guys I know who are really into black women aren't into her. She's definitely a black person's type of black woman and I can't quite articulate why, even though I understand why.
Brandy would attract non-black men even if she wore the most horrible lacefront one could find. That intangible something that black people find consistently "corny" about Brandy is precisely what would be deemed "refreshing" and "approachable" by non-blacks.

Very interesting...very! I wonder how many black women who have these qualities do not attract black men , but don't attract non-black men either?

 

[Thiends]

Very interesting...very! I wonder how many black women who have these qualities do not attract black men , but don't attract non-black men either?

I don't get the feeling that Brandy is checking for non-black men, so who knows if she might have been able to settle down with one. I can't blame her. Personally, I get approached a lot by non-black men, but I don't actually prefer them.

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

@WhipEffectz1 and @CarmelCupcake: I am not even sure it is about smiling because I often look forbidding in public. I wasn't smiling at the bar on St. Patrick's day. In fact, my friend and I were about to leave the bar from annoyance at how crowded it was when white guys converged on us and asked us to stay. I think there is just an "interracial-friendly" vibe that some have and it's not necessarily a good, approachable vibe nor is it necessarily a bad, sellout vibe. White men just approach me way more than black men do and always have. When I think about it more, I realize that while the vibe has to do with clothing, demeanor, makeup, posture etc, it's also more than that. As I type this, I realize it might have to do with making eye contact with white men and other behaviors that show comfort. I make comfortable eye contact with white guys because they are not novelties to me. They are not special or exotic or repulsive or forbidden fruit to me; I am not flattered or offended by their attention. They are just men. Maybe they sense this. Funnily, I would prefer to be approached by black men more often. Maybe I have the wrong vibe for black men!

Ohmigosh. I was just thinking this! I saw the title of this thread the other day and thought "yes, but I could use more of the right type of black men approaching..." I used to be oblivious to approaches from white men, but it seems like they are very persistent and now that I have become aware of them it seems like they are everywhere. Um...it's flattering and cool and all, but...I want a black kang

 

[qchelle]

Ohmigosh. I was just thinking this! I saw the title of this thread the other day and thought "yes, but I could use more of the right type of black men approaching..." I used to be oblivious to approaches from white men, but it seems like they are very persistent and now that I have become aware of them it seems like they are everywhere. Um...it's flattering and cool and all, but...I want a black kang

 

[CoutureMe06]

all the time. Honestly, if I'm at a lounge and there is 1 white guy and the rest black, the white guy will talk to me. Happened pretty recently in ATL.

A white guy or any other race will approach me before a black guy.

 

[Honey Bee]

Yes, other races of men approach me (more so than black men). I agree with what some of the ladies said about a certain je ne sais quoi type of vibe, but I have to say that it really doesn't make a difference what I'm wearing. If I do 'urban wear', it's gonna be stilettos and tight jeans (and, yes, hoop earrings ), not Uptowns and stretch pants, yet they still approach me all the same. I'm usually approached by black guys or white guys, rarely the other ethnicities, but more often I'm noticing Arab guys trynna holla. What makes it extra funny is, they always want to convert me to Islam, first thing. It's funny/random to me because, honestly, who else tries to get in your draw's kicking knowledge about their God? That must be some special 'g' I don't know about, smh.

I think a lot of it is location. Also, I think I'm usually the most approachable looking black person at a black venue, so that explains those instances. I usually don't make any special effort to be flirty (cuz I'm taken), but I'm a generally friendly person and that helps. I don't look like I'll cuss somebody out.

I make comfortable eye contact with white guys because they are not novelties to me. They are not special or exotic or repulsive or forbidden fruit to me; I am not flattered or offended by their attention.They are just men. Maybe they sense this.

Thiends, You know, your post just made me wonder: do white men feel like a fetish for *certain* black women, and are they aware enough to pick up that vibe? I give a general 'Ain't nobody checking for you' vibe, I mean, I'm friendly, but it's not exclusive to white men. But we all know at least one BW who trips all over herself around white men... I wonder if they notice. I hope not.

 

[Carolie]

IRL, hardly ever, which sucks for me... and if they do, they're usually Hispanic. :|

Online? They're all up on my profile like a hobo on a ham sandwich. I just don't understand sometimes lol.