cocoberry10
New Member
I don’t want to deny that your friend may be on to something, however, I also will say this (to call some of his points into question). I think we all agree that society (including “the Black race” generally) prefers light/white over Black. This is evidenced by the media, magazines, and these threads
. However, I find that when someone definitely prefers something, they “see what they want to see” if that makes sense. I am not a fair skinned woman, and I pull attention from all kinds of men: Black men, light and dark, Latino men (they really like me), Indian men, Middle Eastern men, White Men, Asian Men (and even an alien or two). And I know I’m not alone. My Black female friends and family members span the range of complexions, and many of them also pull all kinds of men, so I know that not everyone ONLY finds lighter complexions attractive, nor do I believe that ALL men favor lighter complexions. My point is that your friend is going to see things the way he sees them, and often we believe that others think the way we do. Sometimes a fairer person will have more success, sometimes they won’t. I am really stating this b/c of his comment about his light and dark female cousins. I’ve seen situations where the fair woman gets a lot of attention, and I’ve seen situations where the fair woman does not get lots of attention. And I’ve also seen situations where the dark woman gets lots of attention and situations where she does not get a lot of attention. I think back to Rudie Huxtable (who is now the gorgeous Keisha Knight Pulliam) or Ashley Banks or Lisa Turtle. These were brown/darker women, all who grew into stunning beauties. I can’t think of very many guys, even ones I know are color struck that wouldn’t die to have a date with one of these women. Similarly, Denise Huxtable and Hilary Banks could have had almost any guy they wanted. I use these as examples, b/c I think that perception is reality. And with your friend, it’s abundantly clear that he prefers fairer or “creamy” complexions over darker complexions. Therefore, he will probably assume every guy thinks this way. And as I said, b/c of his belief, every guy he knows that believes this, solidifies his belief, if that makes sense. And I’m not trying to be in denial, b/c I know colorism is very real.
Basically what I’m saying is that his comment about his light secretary versus his dark secretary may or may not be true, and this could be partly based on his own impression of what’s favored!
Inter racial couples were all the rage until black from PG and DC starting moving to Chuck County.
She hasn't really come out and said that she doesn't like black guys, but it's obvious that she was taught from a young age that "white is right". 
I feel for her. 
Hey...whatever floats your boat I guess. Oh well...HIS loss! Next! 
:thatsall: I know that these threads are always painful for some, because some have been “put through the ringer.” At the same time, I feel that for some these threads have been healing, b/c people realize they weren’t the only one mistreated for being dark-skinned or light-skinned. It’s always comforting to find out that you are not alone. I have learned a lot listening to you ladies’ stories about your experiences. And even though I’m not a parent yet, someday I will be, and these experiences will help me educate my future children!
They told her that her features are too weak etc and gave her make up as a parting gift. That's like someone telling a dark skinned black person not to stand in the dark, because "we can't see you". That is colorism too...
--even her mother confirmed this)!
I remember being very embarrassed in about the 3rd grade when two cuties at a party said my sis and I were too pale and he liked girls with color 
