Do other races of men approach you?

[MissSenegal]

I get approached more by non black men then black men. I live in a very diverse city so its not surprising.

 

[qchelle]

Ediese what the heck?! You have a freakin boyfriend and you ain't tell nobody!!?!?! Aghhh!!!

 

[Etherealsmile]

please y'all let's stop with the black women are at the bottom of the dating pool line of thinking

I'd rather not see any sketchy "studies" to prove how "unwanted" we are

This has never been my reality and i'm sure others will chime in saying the same.

 

[mischka]

i personally don't feel undesirable since i pretty much have no trouble meeting men, but i'm not going to pretend that that claim comes from out of nowhere or, that, like, i'm not aware of the idea.

 

[Etherealsmile]

I'm not asking for anyone to pretend that line of thinking does not exist. However what good does it do when folks keep repeating those words to the detriment of their esteem as well as others? I'd rather spread positivity about black women as opposed to the constant slew of garbage the media et al keeps throwing at us

 

[MizAvalon]

They do but in a different way than black men. A black man will just come up to me and start talking. Other race men need to be given some kind of signal(a smile, eye contact) so that they know I am open to them approaching.

 

[MizAvalon]

I've noticed that I get approached more by other races when I'm alone, or apear to be alone. I guess they're scurred of us in groups LOL!

Men in general are hesitant to approach women in groups. If you are alone or with just one other woman, your chances are higher.

 

[Dare~to~Dream]

I think I've answered in a similar thread before..but no...I'm not approached by other races of men.

 

[mischka]

I'm not asking for anyone to pretend that line of thinking does not exist. However what good does it do when folks keep repeating those words to the detriment of their esteem as well as others? I'd rather spread positivity about black women as opposed to the constant slew of garbage the media et al keeps throwing at us

I look at it like this, there are people out there who still think black people are subhuman, stupid, illiterate, beastlike and whatever other thinking. The claim that black women are undesirable is no different. Does that mean I let that influence my opinions about myself and others? No. I don't believe acknowledging something exists means you have to take it into yourself and let it affect you and the way you think. People shouldn't let just the mere mention of something negative cause them to doubt themselves or affect their self esteem. I can be aware of something and choose to reject it. Hugging myself in the dark and not saying the fearful words is not my style, sis.

 

[TrueBeliever]

Fine to mention it but when you've heard it ad nauseum it gets old.

 

[Ashleescheveux]

Yes.

Hardly ever do I notice a white male hitting on me unless they're over 40, European or urban. The 40+, , they do too much.

With Asian guys it usually very subtle but slightly detectable, usually Filipinos and sometimes Chinese/Korean. Hardly ever South-east Asians unless they're from the Caribbean.

Hispanic guys come out of the wood works and are usually almost as aggressive as black guys.

 

[kblc06]

I've had white men approach me on occasion. I used to stop by this bar after work some time and men that were staying in the upstairs hotel for conferences and stuff would strike up convos with me, give me their business cards, etc. But they were always much older than me.

Hispanic men don't like me at all.

MzLady78I'm just the opposite. I don't get a whole lot of play from white men. Hispanic men seem to love me...especially the Mexicans in MS, LA, & TX who wear grills. Slightly hood Nuyoricans do to. Don't ask . My dude of the month is South American (Peruvian). Indians and other Middle Easterners also like to holla my way.

 

[mischka]

Fine to mention it but when you've heard it ad nauseum it gets old.

k, i'm sorry you feel that way. it happens sometimes.

 

[Mis007]

I'm from florida but I've lived a lot of different places. I live in Long Island, NY now. I found it more common in Florida because especially in the bigger areas like Orlando, Fort Lauderdale, Miami. In Michigan, they tend to go for plain, unassuming, the more 'beautiful' and glamorous you are the less they approach but wear a sweatshirt, a messy ponytail and no makeup and they come out of nowhere. In South Florida it's the opposite. I think the poster who said they don't approach us the same way is right. It's more subtle (that guy who asked you what time it is at the airport although there's a TV on and he's carrying a blackberry is really hitting on you) and also (don't kill me for this) I know it's a stereotype but most tend to want someone nonthreatening. Picture the blond, cheerleader who is always bubbly and smiling and super friendly usually fake but some if not most are conditioned to think that's the ideal woman. Although there's no mystery, there's less chance of being rejected.
The exception to this tend to be mediterreanean men (Greek, Italian). They can be more confident and bold. They often grown up in a strong matriachal type families (If momma ain't happy, nobody's happy). They are used to dealing with strong women (although here's a stereotype again that black women have strong personalities.) This is just my opinion based on my observations.

The bolded made me chuckle, as most of my white British/Euro male friends actually have no attraction to this type and refers to them as the Psycho's they may be non threatening in apperance but many are not lol.

To answer the question, I am surprised that decades later some are finding that non black men will/do not approach black women, I have found the opposite in that non black men are more forthcoming in approaching BW now. Especially Euro's yes there will always be a preference for the WW for many, but those blinkers are coming off in men of other ethnicities. Oh sorry to answer the question I am approached by WM mostly, second would be Eastern Asians/North Africans.

 

[Mis007]

Yes, I've been approached by non black men. But because of their different approach, I didn't recognize it at the time.

Because many are less forward it seems like they're just friendly as opposed to genuinely interested.

Also, this will sound real old school, but when I do realize I'm being hit on by a white guy (the more forward ones) I feel like I'm a fetish. I doubt the sincerity in their approach. That may be my own bias, but thats how I feel about it. ::KanyeShrug::

However, statistically, when people rate attractiveness, black women and Asian men are lowest on the totem pole here. I'll have to find the study that backs it up.

None of this really matters though because I'm happily attached.

Please dont, I didn't care for it then I certainly don't now.

 

[TrueBeliever]

k, i'm sorry you feel that way. it happens sometimes.

It's not you, though. Every time this topic comes up, the whole 'totem pole' comment gets mentioned. I understand why people say it, I just find it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy when it's taken to heart.

 

[BostonMaria]

I'm married now so I don't pay any mind to any man.

Back in the day when I was single I was approached by all races - black, white, Indian, Middle Eastern, all types of Latinos, and Cambodian men. I was only attracted to Latino (caribbean only) and white. The middle eastern and Indian guys were more bold and I was just not feelin them. Maybe it was their lack of swagger. They're too cold and aggressive.

Asian men... I was just confused. I was like, really? Seriously? LOL I didn't feel anything for them either. I think Latino men just are sweet talkers and I always fall for it like a sucka LOL had I been more mature I would've given these stiff, nerdy, non swagger types with real careers a shot.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

I remember I got approached by this one wm. He was like Larry the Cable guy. Hat and camo jacket and even accent. He was talking to me while I was getting on the bus. He was trying to kick game and I guess a good way to break the ice (or show that he's intersted in black women) he showed me a picture of his 50/11 biracial kids. I was speechless. Then as I was getting on the bus he said to me in a low voice, "I love black women."

So I see this guy once again and I find out he goes to the same school as me! He does the same thing (shows a pic of his kids) to every. black. woman. he. sees. He'll even be on the bus and ask a bw, "So you date wm?"

I'm like, really? He even tried to talk to my friend in the computer room. She was like, "Omg, Rachel this redneck looking dude was showing me pictures of his many mixed kids..." and I was like, "Wait don't talk anymore." and I then described him to her and she said, "YES! That's him!" LOL we both started to fall out laughing.

 

[Mariela73]

You need to go sell this story to Saturday night live.

I remember I got approached by this one wm. He was like Larry the Cable guy. Hat and camo jacket and even accent. He was talking to me while I was getting on the bus. He was trying to kick game and I guess a good way to break the ice (or show that he's intersted in black women) he showed me a picture of his 50/11 biracial kids. I was speechless. Then as I was getting on the bus he said to me in a low voice, "I love black women."

So I see this guy once again and I find out he goes to the same school as me! He does the same thing (shows a pic of his kids) to every. black. woman. he. sees. He'll even be on the bus and ask a bw, "So you date wm?"

I'm like, really? He even tried to talk to my friend in the computer room. She was like, "Omg, Rachel this redneck looking dude was showing me pictures of his many mixed kids..." and I was like, "Wait don't talk anymore." and I then described him to her and she said, "YES! That's him!" LOL we both started to fall out laughing.

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

You need to go sell this story to Saturday night live.

Girl! Oh if you were a fly on the wall. And the thing is...he was so serious about it. But you know I couldn't just bust out laughing.

The last I heard of him he told me he met a nurse (black of course) online. She was somewhere in Lousisana. He said that she would take care of him if he moves down there with her.

He just tried TOOO hard. I meet a lot of crazy and weird people in my life but my goodness....

 

[qchelle]

I remember I got approached by this one wm. He was like Larry the Cable guy. Hat and camo jacket and even accent. He was talking to me while I was getting on the bus. He was trying to kick game and I guess a good way to break the ice (or show that he's intersted in black women) he showed me a picture of his 50/11 biracial kids. I was speechless. Then as I was getting on the bus he said to me in a low voice, "I love black women."

So I see this guy once again and I find out he goes to the same school as me! He does the same thing (shows a pic of his kids) to every. black. woman. he. sees. He'll even be on the bus and ask a bw, "So you date wm?"

I'm like, really? He even tried to talk to my friend in the computer room. She was like, "Omg, Rachel this redneck looking dude was showing me pictures of his many mixed kids..." and I was like, "Wait don't talk anymore." and I then described him to her and she said, "YES! That's him!" LOL we both started to fall out laughing.

OMG! I was crackin up reading this!

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

OMG! I was crackin up reading this!

.....................Just imagine Larry the Cable guy with a photo of several biracial kids.

That's all.

+

=

Note: If you're in Louisiana he may be checkin' for ya!

 

[MissJ]

What is "the stigma?"

And, yes, I get approached by men of other races.

 

[sylver2]

i tend to get approached by a lot of middle eastern men, east indian, ethiopian men the most.
White men approach me only when i'm in my open relaxed party mood..then they swarm. if i'm not smiling they stare but k.i.m
i've had a few iranians, persians get at me.

 

[JollyGal]

I've always believed that if a man finds you attractive he will approach you (or find a way to get your attention) no matter what obstacles come his way. It could be possible that the black women in the bar were not giving off signals that they were interested in the men. It could be possible that the white men in the bar were not interested in those black women.
I live in the UK and there are areas of the UK that do not have a lot of black women as citizens. I have been approached in some of those areas like North Devon, Bournemouth (sandbank), Kent (tonbridge wells) and especially Cumbria (Eden - I stayed for 1 week and saw 1 other black woman... knowing Eden she was probably a tourist like me ).

TO answer your question... yes I am approached by "white men". Ever since I took out my extensions less and less black men have been approaching me and it also has to do with where I live/socialise. No complaints here.

 

[JollyGal]

please y'all let's stop with the black women are at the bottom of the dating pool line of thinking

I'd rather not see any sketchy "studies" to prove how "unwanted" we are

This has never been my reality and i'm sure others will chime in saying the same.

Thank you!!!!

OT
Bottom of the barrel thinking is so sad. I don't know where it comes from... no wait I do but that would take this thread OT. Black women can get whatever and whoever they want (as long as the man if not attached having said that there are black women who have attached men chasing too). For black women who think like this please look at the BWE websites and blogs. They go into great depth about bottom of the barrel thinking and behaviour. BWE wants to undo the damage of bottom of the battle thinking.

The areas in the UK that I was approached are predominately white. Eden's white population (99.6%) and almost non existant "ethnic" population has not changed for years. If a man is interested in you he will approach you especially if you give signals that you're interested.

I've heard of stereotypes about black women from certain areas and social groups but I have not heard of the stigma. Is it the same for black women all over the world?

 

[lushcoils]

If a man is interested in you he will approach you especially if you give signals that you're interested.

Is this the main key? It seems like many are approached without giving signals though.

 

[Etherealsmile]

lushcoils when I was much slimmer and in shape, was approached by all types of men under the sun. For me I believe it has to do with my disposition. I am a very warm and friendly person. Many people both men and women find me easy to talk to and approachable so i think this played a huge role in the amount of attention I received from men.

I've always been this way and think that vibe was the key reason why I was approached by men irregardless of where I went to

 

[lushcoils]

@lushcoils when I was much slimmer and in shape, was approached by all types of men under the sun. For me I believe it has to do with my disposition. I am a very warm and friendly person. Many people both men and women find me easy to talk to and approachable so i think this played a huge role in the amount of attention I received from men.

I've always been this way and think that vibe was the key reason why I was approached by men irregardless of where I went to

@Etherealsmile26

Thanks for your insight. I'm already slim (and natural). I guess I'll try to be friendlier. Though I'm friendly enough for random women, kids, and old men to approach me all the time, so I don't understand why men my age can't.

 

[Etherealsmile]

how old are you lushcoils? If you're between your early to mid twenties, dealing with men in this age group is a huge pain in the a** due to their own insecurities. I wouldn't think too much about it if that's the case.

I know location also plays a huge part in whether or not non black men approach you. In some areas obviously the non black men are more forthcoming than in others.