Would be upset if a guy took you to Red Lobster or Fridays for a date?
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JustKiya
Well-Known Member
I'd be cool with it. Shoot I'm not throwing major money at a girl until she is "mine".The trial runs will get trial run restaurants.
And honestly, I think most men think like this, too. Shoot. Too many women out there, all expecting you to pay, to treat everyone of them to a first-class experience - esp. when she might be going out with you just for that free dinner. Umph.
Men can exercise discretion, too.
Theo
New Member
Excuse me but.....
:SparkleDoll you sound really snooty here! I understand you have really high standards and whatnot, and more power too you but
But really, I'm happy for you. I'm happy that men take you out to nice places. I'm sure you guys have a really great time trying new foods and stuff.
But to answer the OP. No I wouldn't mind going to either RL or Friday's. I'm not really big on either restaurants, but they both have good-sized menus with lots to choose from, and they're always doing something different so it's cool.
I actually really don't mind chain restaurants in general I've had better experiences at them than some of the non-chain places I've tried.
Chromia
Well-Known Member
We can go to Red Lobster, Friday's, Olive Garden, Chili's...........
We don't have to go to an upscale place with linen napkins, valet parking, or filet mignon.
Well actually Tony Roma's is a chain with linen napkins. We can go there.
Well actually the Tony Roma's here closed so I guess we can't.
We don't have to go to an upscale place with linen napkins, valet parking, or filet mignon.
Well actually Tony Roma's is a chain with linen napkins. We can go there.
Well actually the Tony Roma's here closed so I guess we can't.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Bunny, I HATE Applebee's with a passion, LOL.
I guess my thing is that even if they are considered the bottom of the restaurant chain or whatever, if that's what I like, that's what I like. I've been to upscale restaurants where I wasn't that impressed with the food, especially for the money they were charging.
But I agree that if dude thinks he's doing big things by taking me to Red Lobster, we have a problem.
I guess my thing is that even if they are considered the bottom of the restaurant chain or whatever, if that's what I like, that's what I like. I've been to upscale restaurants where I wasn't that impressed with the food, especially for the money they were charging.
But I agree that if dude thinks he's doing big things by taking me to Red Lobster, we have a problem.
Bunny77
New Member
Oh yeah, I'm with you on that. Someone mentioned Chipotle earlier, and I love Chipotle. I remember a few years back on V-Day, a date and I were trying to find a place to go where there wasn't a 2+ hour wait... I was getting so annoyed driving around that I was like, "You know what, the location doesn't matter. I want some burritos. Let's go to Chipotle!"
And that's what we did... and it was all good.
So yeah, even if something is supposedly bottom-of-the-barrel, but I like it, then I will go in a heartbeat... it's really the mindset moreso behind the guy's decision to take me to a certain place.
If we're going to Red Lobster because we like the place, then cool. If we're going because he's cheap and lame, then nope, not cool!
kismettt
Well-Known Member
i talked to my SO about this and he's like "where i'm from red lobster is a really nice place to take some one"
idk, we come from different socioeconomic backgrounds so i cannot agree but where im from (suburbs of CO), there are mostly chains so it is no big deal. i did love that when we were in Jersey I got to go to random places I have never heard of (loved that about London, too).
I like Red Lobster, but I'm 19. so...
idk, we come from different socioeconomic backgrounds so i cannot agree but where im from (suburbs of CO), there are mostly chains so it is no big deal. i did love that when we were in Jersey I got to go to random places I have never heard of (loved that about London, too).
I like Red Lobster, but I'm 19. so...
TayMac
Well-Known Member
Yes..that's the thing. If I tell a guy I like Italian food...I'd be impressed by hin finding and taking me to a hole in the wall Italian restaurant with tasty authentic Italian food..not Olive Garden and Carrabas which some guys think are a big deal.
snugglez41685
Well-Known Member
Well I am 24 and still haven't been to Red Lobster yet. But Fridays has always been my joint!
I t doesn't matter to me. My first date with my recent SO was at a movie and some Burgerking. I didn't mind cause it wasn't like we were dating serious,it was more like "Wanna go out for a movie and BK?" Maybe I am too young to understand the upscale thing now?
I t doesn't matter to me. My first date with my recent SO was at a movie and some Burgerking. I didn't mind cause it wasn't like we were dating serious,it was more like "Wanna go out for a movie and BK?" Maybe I am too young to understand the upscale thing now?
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Oh yeah, I'm with you on that. Someone mentioned Chipotle earlier, and I love Chipotle. I remember a few years back on V-Day, a date and I were trying to find a place to go where there wasn't a 2+ hour wait... I was getting so annoyed driving around that I was like, "You know what, the location doesn't matter. I want some burritos. Let's go to Chipotle!"
And that's what we did... and it was all good.
So yeah, even if something is supposedly bottom-of-the-barrel, but I like it, then I will go in a heartbeat... it's really the mindset moreso behind the guy's decision to take me to a certain place.
If we're going to Red Lobster because we like the place, then cool. If we're going because he's cheap and lame, then nope, not cool!
I can dig it!
Theo
New Member
Yummmm... I *heart* Carrabas!!!!
Seriously, I have yet to find a really great Italian restaurant here in Chicago. Each one I've gone to, I've found myself poking at my food while thinking of that awesome lentil soup Carrabas serves.
The thing with hole in the walls you have to keep searching and searching till you find the right one. Once you find your spot its great, but in the meantime, that's money down the drain.
spelmanlocks
Well-Known Member
I wouldn't mind at all, but DH took me to a nice steak house (non-chain, but not expensive) for our first date. I really appreciated him taking me to such a nice spot because we were both broke college students at the time and my boyfriend before him took me to Waffle House so it was a step up.
Now if I were single and dating a well established man and he took me to one of these places, I'd honestly probably give him the side eye. I'd still give him a chance, but I think a well established man should do better.
Now if I were single and dating a well established man and he took me to one of these places, I'd honestly probably give him the side eye. I'd still give him a chance, but I think a well established man should do better.
WorkInProgress88
Well-Known Member
ugh no...im a broke college student...i would be glad for some red lobster
to be honest with you im not anti chain restaurants--i would not do red lobster or etc on the first date--i could do a houstons, havana central or a ruth chris...i would want to go to a rest that i could afford or somewhere i would take someone---in nyc there r so many spots--its doesnt have to be expensive for it to still be a nice spot--as in great food and atmosphere
mscocoface
Well-Known Member
It is not the food it is the person the chemistry and the atmosphere.
From Starbucks to Waldorf Astoria, if the date is terrible the whole thing is a bust.
From Starbucks to Waldorf Astoria, if the date is terrible the whole thing is a bust.
Coffee
Well-Known Member
I asked my hubby's opinion on this last night, and this is his response from a man's perspective:
I would not spend a lot of money on a woman on a first date....for what reason? Her insistence in going to an expensive place on a first date, would defiantly be a deal-breaker for me. Women need to understand they also have to bring something to the table (pun intended), other than wants, looks and needs. Reverse it and see how you would feel if a man insisted on going to an expensive place on the first date. He also said "if going to an expensive is that important, ask a man out and take him".
Maybe we need to ask male friends their opinions rather than other women, if we really want to know the truth.
I would not spend a lot of money on a woman on a first date....for what reason? Her insistence in going to an expensive place on a first date, would defiantly be a deal-breaker for me. Women need to understand they also have to bring something to the table (pun intended), other than wants, looks and needs. Reverse it and see how you would feel if a man insisted on going to an expensive place on the first date. He also said "if going to an expensive is that important, ask a man out and take him".
Maybe we need to ask male friends their opinions rather than other women, if we really want to know the truth.
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Bunny77
New Member
Well, I think that most of us agreed that a man doesn't need to (and probably shouldn't) spend a lot of money on a woman on a first date... that a reasonably priced place with decent food and decent conversation should work just fine.
I think the OP's friend was the only one who demanded upscale on a first date. She, however, is the only woman I've ever heard of demand this... I know there are more that think like her, but I meet so many women who haven't been on a date in umpteen years (or been on a real date -- not a "chill" date), that they're just happy for anything. And sometimes, those women actually settle for less, but that's another thread.
About the bolded though... since I expect the man to pay on a date, if he's insisting on going to an expensive place on a first date, I say great! He's paying, so he can get as expensive as he wants!
I guess I just don't see the reverse applying to this situation if one is a woman who does not go dutch on dates, so a man insisting on an expensive place would be irrelevant to me... unless he is expecting me to pay, and I'd have a problem with that regardless of the type of restaurant we try.I would only ask male friends who have some sense for their advice on this though... cause too many these days come back with some, "Oh yeah, you should do dutch," mess. So just because he's a man doesn't mean that his advice is automatically good... (not talking about your hubby Coffee, but just your statement about asking male friends in general).
We can go to Red Lobster, Friday's, Olive Garden, Chili's...........
We don't have to go to an upscale place with linen napkins, valet parking, or filet mignon.
Well actually Tony Roma's is a chain with linen napkins. We can go there.
Red lobster and Olive garden is perfectly fine. Even those with upper middle class income eat at Red Lobster and Olive Garden once in awhile. Besides chain and fast food restaurants I love quality mediocre and budget restaurants over upscale restaurants. Family owned diners are some have some of the best budget restaurants in the country. For some reason I don't like the food in upscale restaurant and it always taste like restaurant food. Filet mignon and french food in general is very unpleasing to my taste buds. I like family owned or independent restaurants because the food always seem high quality and cooks take the time make it taste great and look good and the menus are always better and the food always go together. Mediocre and budget restaurants also have five stars indicators. Some are the finest best quality restaurants while others can't compete.
Nothing against your husband......but I would never take a man's advice in these situations
. In my experience, men will give advice that benefits men not women in general. Too many new age dudes these days don't want to pay for dates AT ALL. I don't do dutch and I never have and never will pay for a man.
Bunny77
New Member
^^^One other thing that I meant to add... there are too many men out there who will drop tons of money on a woman and don't care what she brings to the table as long as she looks good.
Now, I'm absolutely NOT saying that means we should be all like, "I wanna eat at Chez Pierre, I want you to buy me stuff," etc., but I've met too many men who drop all this, "What does she bring to the table?" stuff when THEY want a particular woman.
Just as a lot of women send mixed messages, a lot of men do too. Which is what I "think" SparkleDoll was getting at earlier when she talked about some men determining where they'd take a woman on a first date depending on what they thought of that particular woman and what they thought they needed to do to get her.
Now, I'm absolutely NOT saying that means we should be all like, "I wanna eat at Chez Pierre, I want you to buy me stuff," etc., but I've met too many men who drop all this, "What does she bring to the table?" stuff when THEY want a particular woman.
Just as a lot of women send mixed messages, a lot of men do too. Which is what I "think" SparkleDoll was getting at earlier when she talked about some men determining where they'd take a woman on a first date depending on what they thought of that particular woman and what they thought they needed to do to get her.
you are right on the mark. Some men will low ball a women in a hot minute. They spend more money on women they think are worth it or spend as less as they think they can get away with and still date a woman ( get the benefit of sex, companionship etc.)..... I think another poster mentioned something to this effect.
Coffee
Well-Known Member
Nothing against your husband......but I would never take a man's advice in these situations
I had several good male friends whose opinion I would trust, that's the "male opinion" I was referring too. I gave them my truthful opinion about women and they did the same about men. Maybe it's an age difference thing, but I wouldn't have a problem asking a male out to dinner.
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Bunny77
New Member
Okay, I gots a story!
A few years ago, I met a rich dude. Like, a really rich dude with legit money. On the first date (which he suggested) we went to one of the best steakhouses in the state. It was a place I'd never heard of... then when we were there, he ordered like, three appetizers (at $15 a pop), then we got entrees and dessert. He kept telling me to order whatever I wanted, and the bill was close to $200.
Anyway, the situation got more complicated as I got to know him, and the type of restaurant declined in quality... not that I expected the expensive steakhouse every time, but it got to the point that he'd just meet at Starbucks and buy coffee/tea and not even do a cheap dinner... but he had decided that he wanted to pursue someone else, and suddenly, I was no longer someone he was trying to win over (whether for a real relationship or sex).
So in that case, the quality of the restaurant absolutely correlated with his intentions for me. And he didn't know what I supposedly brought to the table when he asked me out... he just wanted to get in my pants and because of my background, figured that he probably couldn't make that happen with an Applebee's date!
(No, I did not sleep with him!)
Coffee
Well-Known Member
During many of the counseling sessions I've had with women (married & single), one thing I heard constantly was " he stopped doing the things he did before we were married). One thing I told my hubby while we were dating was don't start something you can't continue, be it, sending flowers, opening car doors, bringing me little presents etc. So many times men will try to impress a woman by taking them to expensive places, but know that financially they can't continue at that pace. I would rather a man, be who he can continue to be throughout the relationship, rather than get me used to a lifestyle he isn't able to continue to give me. I also realize that we are all at different places in our lives, and we're speaking from our prespective, no right, no wrong, just the place we are right now. I am 59, so I've been there and done that, where maybe someone else is 25...totally different outlook.
My hubby is a Pastor and we've heard it all during our marriage. I wish I knew at 25, what I know now, sure would have saved me a lot of heartache and pain. We all have to grow and learn at our on pace, and go through the rough spots.
My hubby is a Pastor and we've heard it all during our marriage. I wish I knew at 25, what I know now, sure would have saved me a lot of heartache and pain. We all have to grow and learn at our on pace, and go through the rough spots.
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