Would be upset if a guy took you to Red Lobster or Fridays for a date?

[GreenD]

Not sure if you all are interested, but while I do love fine/ethnic dining I also love me some Friday's. So since I have my stripes, I saw this in my email box and thought I'd share. Enjoy!!

http://www.tgifridays.com/promos/halloween2009.aspx

 

[caltron]

I think my problem with this thread is that it implies that there is something wrong with chain restaurants and that if you like chain restaurants, you must be low class or tacky. I think it is just a matter of preference. I am a professional woman and my hubby and I usually opt for the chain restaurants over the upscale or affordable non-chain restaurants. Sometimes people want predictability and consistency over something new and exotic. The fact that there are so many chain restaurants and they are successful just goes to show that there are a LOT of people who like chain restaurants, and I think it would be a mistake to make any further assumptions.

I think a chain restaurant is absolutely fine for a first date. When I was single, I had a guy take me to one on the most expensive restaurants in Atlanta for a first date, and it felt like it was excessive and it actually kinda interfered with me getting to know him. For a first date I actually prefered a place that was somewhat familiar, or at least had that a familiar feel, so that I could relax and be myself.

So as long as the dude isn't taking you to somplace like McDonald's or subway, I really don't see why a woman would exclude a guy on this basis. Couldn't you all alternate between chain and non-chain restaurants if the relationship took off?? It just seems like a minor hitch to me. I could see if it were an anniversary or some other very special occasion, but I don't see how it is a major sin for a first date.

 

[Country gal]

I prefer non chain restaurants. I don't have a problem if a guy takes me to a chain. I will meet a guy at his level as long as he is paying for it. I once went on a date to Noodles and Company. Thats all he was able to afford for the week and I love their pasta. When he had more money he took me to nicer restaurants.

 

[calliope]

Sorry to bump this, but the title made me laugh. My first date with my husband was at Red Lobster when we were in college. That's what he could afford as a nice evening and you better believe I was ecstatic to go! The fact that now ten years later, I'm able to stay home, do/buy whatever I want, travel and eat anywhere I please makes me really glad that I didn't judge him on that.

 

[outspokenwallflower]

Nope. I love them Cheddar Bay Biscuits and I love them Jack Daniels Ribs. Let's go, cuz I'm hungry!

 

[Bunny77]

Sorry to bump this, but the title made me laugh. My first date with my husband was at Red Lobster when we were in college. That's what he could afford as a nice evening and you better believe I was ecstatic to go! The fact that now ten years later, I'm able to stay home, do/buy whatever I want, travel and eat anywhere I please makes me really glad that I didn't judge him on that.

I hope that COLLEGE students aren't making restaurant judgments!!!

I had many a college date at Red Lobster... no complaints here!

(Right now though, I hope a 30-something man would not have RL as his standard for great food!)

 

[Amcd]

Sorry to bump this, but the title made me laugh. My first date with my husband was at Red Lobster when we were in college. That's what he could afford as a nice evening and you better believe I was ecstatic to go! The fact that now ten years later, I'm able to stay home, do/buy whatever I want, travel and eat anywhere I please makes me really glad that I didn't judge him on that.

Calliope I agree with you. The first date my DH and I went on was at Fudruckers. We were in college and I was just happy to be eating out. Twenty two years later we have 3 kids, I stay home with them and we still like to eat at chain restaurants though we could afford to eat anywhere we want. My husband just doesn't think about things like that and I think you miss so much from a man by judging him on something so superficial.

 

[diadall]

I would not be upset. We can't eat at the five star restaurant every time. Besides lets look at this from a business standpoint. I don't think I would fault a man for taking me to a inexpensive restaurant the first time. He doesn't even know if he is going to like me or not. If he does then he may try to impress me with a great restaurant choice the second time. If he doesn't like me then he hasn't wasted his money on a bad date.

 

[YankeeCandle]

**assuming people who have been out of school for a while and/OR who are late twenties or older***

I agree with the people earlier in the thread who said it's more of a creativity issue than a money one. It is a bit disheartening if you view the first few dates as opportunities to get a window into their personality--in such a case, you might feel as though the man is telegraphing a lack of interest and imagination that does not bode well for the future. After all, as some have stated, for the same $15 as Red Lobster, he could have taken you to the Mongolian barbecue, that hole in the wall Persian kebab place, or a small bistro and made it seem

BUT, having acknowledged that's what my first instinct is, I also recognize that our first instincts are not always on-point and that apperances can also be deceiving.

I have now learned that it's all about what his reasoning is, not where he actually takes you.

Which would you rather have:

-- 4-star $$$ restaurant written up in the NY Times because he thinks spending money will get him into your pants sooner?

-- 4-star $$$ restaurant written up in the NY Times because he has money to burn and he takes all his casual dates on them, not caring if they don't pan out in to relationships

-- 4-star $$$ restaurant written up in the NY Times because he was impressed upon first meeting you and wants desperatetly to impress you in turn

-- Red Lobster or Applebee's because that's what he's used to and he doesn't want to get out of his comfor t zone; you're just a date, right?

-- Red Lobster or Applebee's because he uses that to test whether a woman is really interested in him or in appearences

-- Red Lobster or Applebee's because you mentioned you loved bread/carbs and he thinks you'll appreciate a nice basket of cheddar biscuits!

-- Red Lobster or Applebee's because he is saving money so he can remit half his paycheck back to his elderly parents in Liberia

etc

etc

Case in point: MY SO took me to ESPN Zone on our second date and neither of us had been there before. I was disappointed it turned out to be basically a sports bar...until I later understood the reasoning behind him taking me there: (a) he had never been there before and was excited to discover something new with a woman he was interested in as a person/friend (not just for sexual attraction reasons); (b) he wanted a low-pressure environment in which we could talk earnestly (as opposed to where we met and had our first date--- noisy clubs); (c) when we first met, he learned I lived a low-carb lifestyle and he had heard they had chicken wings at ESPN!

Having learned those three reasons, I realize now that they reflected a true winner of a man. It doesn't mean that a man who takes you to a fine dining establishment is automatically a loser, either--in either case, it's all about his underlying reasoning and whether it reflects consideration and attentiveness to you as a person he wants to get to know further.


And you will never learn his reasoning unless you go out to that first date...so enjoy your cheddar biscuit and bide your time 'till you find out more about him!

 

[Bunny77]

^^^Well put!

I've had a variety of first/second dates at differently-priced restaurants and here are some of my observations. (Again, all these took place in the last 2-3 years, so in my late 20s-early 30s.)

-One guy took me to a sports bar. Spent about $20 total. However, we are both in the sports industry and we wanted to watch March Madness. So this date = good.

-One guy took me to one of the best chophouses in the city. Found out later he was a recently divorced guy trying to show he still "had it" by taking out young women (I was older than he thought, ). Money spent was over $200. End result = bad.

-One guy took me to a nice swanky restaurant and bought me a glass of wine and then we split two appetizers. I was waiting for us to order dinner and then he didn't offer. He later called me for a second date to a free concert. My opinion. He's cheap or trying to "test" me, and I don't do tests. End result = bad.

-I learned that this one guy liked exotic food. I suggested an Indian restaurant. It was a little more upscale than a hole-in-the-wall, but still reasonable. Total spent was probably $40... guy later told me he was impressed by my choice, as he was an outside-the-box thinker. That was over 7 months ago and we're talking about the future. End result = VERY good.

So yeah, figure out a person's intentions behind the place he's taking you and that should tell you the story. BTW, I would have LOVED a date at ESPN Zone!

 

[YankeeCandle]

Bunny77's stories are all interesting and make my/our points beautifully, if I do say so myself!

And you're right--now me and SO occasionally go to ESPN for fun, and I love playing the games and he loves watching 'the game' !

I would have LOVED to go to an Indian restaurant for a second or third date, but I've grown to appreciate my SO's own quirks and motivations. Better ESPN Zone for the right reasons than an ethnic restaurant for the wrong one! And I'm so glad they turned out to be the right reasons for you...

 

[chicacanella]

deleted.......................................

 

[biancaelyse]

I do love to eat out but don't really like Red Lobster so I would hope for a different, more creative and interesting venue. Please not that I did not say more expensive although that would be nice too.

 

[anon123]

I like Friday's. Red Lobster is okay. But for a first date seems like a whole lot more interesting fun could be had for that $30. I'd actually rather go to a hole-in-the-wall cheap Mexican place with character than Red Lobster, but it's not that big of a deal. Maybe that's because I'm not the biggest fan of biscuits.