Thread for the heartbroken

proudofmynaps said:
MzLady78

I wish there was a cut off time. I don't understand why I'm so sad. It's really his loss. Some how I feel like crap. I wish he would call or come crawling back but he hasn't. I'm trying to move on but seem like my feet is stuck in concrete.
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I know...:(

Like I said, been there. Even when you know it's the best thing for you, even if you were the one to walk away, it still hurts. There's no on/off switch for your emotions, unfortunately. But you have to go through the pain to get to the other side. I stayed in a situation for much longer than I should have because I didn't want to go through the pain of walking away. It's one of the worst things I could have done to myself. Not to mention the fact that STAYING was just as painful, if not more.

It's gonna take time but you'll get to a better place and realize he's not worth the grief.
 
proudofmynaps said:
@MzLady78

I wish there was a cut off time. I don't understand why I'm so sad. It's really his loss. Some how I feel like crap. I wish he would call or come crawling back but he hasn't. I'm trying to move on but seem like my feet is stuck in concrete.
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I know how you feel. In the same boat here. Why do all the good women get treated like crap. Some days i'm okay and others not. Today is one of my low days.
 
proudofmynaps said:
When will this sadness and hurt feeling start to decrease? Some days I can't imagine getting out of bed
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In my first really serious relationship, I loved that **** like crazy! We had a very volatile relationship. When things got better, we got engaged. A month later, he told me that some chick showed up at his job with a baby and said that he could either take the kid or she was going to put the baby up for adoption. I'm sure that was a lie because it didn't make sense when he denied paternity for the child he'd raised from birth just to be an *** to the mother. Initially, I said nothing but then I started counting back and realized that he cheated on me early in our relationship. Needless to say, I broke up with him (by throwing his ring at him and trying to run him over--not something I recommend). Some other very personal things also happened during that time, which only added to the despair that I felt. I found out that within days of breaking up, he moved in with an older woman, allegedly because he needed someone to help him with the baby. You could not have told me that my world would go on. I became a stalker (don't recommend this either) and bad mouthed him to everybody who would listen (don't recommend this either). I was in bad shape.

About nine months later, I was driving in the car and suddenly started smiling like a damn fool--I was finally over that crazy man! Everything in my life was better. I was interviewing for a highly coveted position that paid astronomically more than what I was making (and i got the position). I had started to have fun and date again.

I called to tell him "thank you" for f-ing up because it only made room for he right man to come into my life, made me stronger and taught me what I would/would not tolerate in a relationship. He got mad. Lol.

Ive since gone on to experience a lot of great things (for me and my background, which just might be "regular" for other people). I can say that the best revenge is to live well and be happy.

I recount that to you to say that it will definitely get better. Although it is hard to see right now, YOU will definitely be better after this.
 
MzLady78 said:
It's funny. Although I miss him like crazy, there's no denying that I'm much more at peace without him. And it wasn't even him per se that was causing the havoc, it was my denial about...well.. damn near everything.

The other day I heard this line while I was watching the show Boss- "some things are better left broken". I repeat this to myself every day. I was fighting so hard to try to fix things but 1)I wasn't the one who broke us and 2)it wasn't a situation worth trying to repair. The right solution was always to let it go.
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Very helpful post. Some things are better left broken
 
meka72- I had a crazy totally out of character relationship too. I agree the best revenge is to live well. He was stubting my growth, ruining my friendships by isolating me.
 
Country gal said:
Very helpful post. Some things are better left broken
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I'm glad you found it helpful. :)

It really stuck with me when I heard it. I recall saying to him on a couple of occasions "I can't fix this by myself". I finally got to the point where I realized (or more so accepted) that it wasn't working because it just wasn't meant to be, no matter how we felt about each other.
 
Update:

It has been a month and I still miss him like crazy. However, I realize that life goes on. I often wonder if he thinks about me as much as i think about him. I don't think he does considering he was the one that walked away from his wife and son. Why is it that the good women finish last? I dont wish heart break on anyone.
 
proudofmynaps said:
Update:

It has been a month and I still miss him like crazy. However, I realize that life goes on. I often wonder if he thinks about me as much as i think about him. I don't think he does considering he was the one that walked away from his wife and son. Why is it that the good women finish last? I dont wish heart break on anyone.
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proudofmynaps- it is painful but you will survive. He is a grown boy because a real man wouldn't desert his newborn like that. Stay strong, get some help like a couselor to process the pain. Grieve, cry and get angry. Surround yourself with positive people. If he tries to come back, hold him to a higher standard.
 
Country gal said:
@proudofmynaps- it is painful but you will survive. He is a grown boy because a real man wouldn't desert his newborn like that. Stay strong, get some help like a couselor to process the pain. Grieve, cry and get angry. Surround yourself with positive people. If he tries to come back, hold him to a higher standard.
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Country gal He walked out so I could never take him back. I deserve better.
 
proudofmynaps said:
Update:

It has been a month and I still miss him like crazy. However, I realize that life goes on. I often wonder if he thinks about me as much as i think about him. I don't think he does considering he was the one that walked away from his wife and son. Why is it that the good women finish last? I dont wish heart break on anyone.
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This is not true at all.

I've seen all sorts of women go through heart break. Sweet women, mean (IMO:look:) women and in many in between. Your ex was lacking in character. A real gentleman treats every partner with respect, especially the mother of his child.

Be careful of what you accept as truth going forward. I know many good women being loved/treated well and wish the same for your future:yep:.
 
He's been on my mind a lot today and I hate it. I miss him so much. I have that tightness in my chest like I'm gonna start bawling any minute. I'm in that irrational "I know he needs to stay away but it hurts like hell that he's staying away" stage. Feeling like I couldn't possibly have meant as much to him as he claimed since it's been so easy for him to leave me alone. No communication (on his end) in almost 2 months. I caved about a month ago and texted him just to see how he was doing. :hardslap:

But I refuse to shed another tear over him. I cried enough to fill an ocean over the last 4 years. I haven't since the day I decided to be done for good and it's gonna stay that way.
 
MzLady78 said:
He's been on my mind a lot today and I hate it. I miss him so much. I have that tightness in my chest like I'm gonna start bawling any minute. I'm in that irrational "I know he needs to stay away but it hurts like hell that he's staying away" stage. Feeling like I couldn't possibly have meant as much to him as he claimed since it's been so easy for him to leave me alone. No communication (on his end) in almost 2 months. I caved about a month ago and texted him just to see how he was doing. :hardslap:

But I refuse to shed another tear over him. I cried enough to fill an ocean over the last 4 years. I haven't since the day I decided to be done for good and it's gonna stay that way.
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I'm sorry sis. :bighug:
 
proudofmynaps said:
:bighug:@MzLady78: I know the feeling. You will get through this. I'm at the same stage.:yep:
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Thanks proudofmynaps.

Still thinking about him more than I'd like, but it's getting better. It's more me reminding myself of why I needed to walk away, and less reminiscing about what I thought we had. I've been chatting with a guy I met online and I'm enjoying getting to know him. Not to compare the two, but this guy seems to have some of the same traits that I liked about the old dude. So it's helped me realize that he was probably not the unicorn I made him out to be. Don't get me wrong, there are things that will always make him special to me, but not special enough to settle for the crumbs he was throwing out.

I have no idea what's going to happen with this one but I think it's a good sign that I'm actually in an place where I can entertain someone else at all. Whether or not it goes anywhere, I'll be ok. :yep:
 
Thank you so much ivyness Briggables sylver2
I honestly don't know what's going to happen. He says he's going to put in the work to show me how much he loves me and is going to make this right. The trust is gone and I'm really hurt by what he did. Sigh I swear I have never been so hurt and angry all at the same time. 1.5 years..........but I still love him. Just such a jumble of confusion....I'm rambling but I don't have anybody to talk this through with.
 
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It's been three long months. How can he leave me and his son behind as if we are trash. He and my son was my everything. I truly thought he was the one. It's rough out here. He just moved on with his life as if he didn't leave a wife and son. He's still lying about why he left and I'm sure he will never tell me. I feel used and manipulated. I'm a good person. I helped him when he was down and out and he left as soon as something better came. I feel like I will never get through this and so alone. Tried of feeling this way. I thought I knew him but I didn't. Will I ever get through this?
 
proudofmynaps, you will. 3 months isn't a lot of time at all, especially for what you're going through.

Things with Internet dude crashed and burned after about 3 weeks. I'm a little surprised but really, if me pointing out his inconsistencies was enough to offend him to the point of not wanting to see me anymore, he clearly did me a favor. But I think I'm just gonna go back to focusing on me for awhile. Can't heal if I'm just piling on the disappointments.
 
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hairenergizer said:
Feeling like its the end of the World. Emotions fluctuating. He's not cute but has a level head. I think he has the wrong impression of me such as he thinks I am looking for to much at this point. I wish I knew how to get over him. He's definitely dragging me and seems to want to call all of the shots (at least that's what I think because he calls me when he gets good and ready). What I'm really afraid of is, when he calls, if I don't answer then he will definitely stop trying and that I don't want (not right now). I just don't know how to "win" him over. I say things to him that I think he wants to hear thinking I am helping boost his ego then after saying it I regret it because he's not bulging. However I am not calling him even though I want to sooo bad. Will this feeling eventually go away I keep asking myself. I really need encouragement. My head is spinning:drunk:.
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This is similar to my situation. Then I find myself getting annoyed because I shouldn't have to win him or any man over, but yet here I am over 30 and trying to win him over because I want to say I have someone. Never thought I would be that type of person, but I feel myself becoming that.
 
i'm happy i found this thread. i hope you ladies don't get sick of me posting........

i think for me one of the hardest part of a break up/broken heart is at night. during the day is hard, but it's easier to find things to occupy my mind even if it's only for short periods of time. at night is when i usually think about him....which is what i'm trying not to do. i've been going to sleep with the office or the golden girls on tv.
 
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