Thread for the heartbroken

I thought because we have been down a similar road I'd be less a mess. Nope. He'd admitted all wrong, apologized, and apologized some more.

We are not to be in a relationship. He has a lot of personal work to do. Maybe that makes him emotionally unavailable. Idk. Even though I know breaking up is the 100% right thing and a pretty mutual decision... Still sucks. I've known him for such a long time. Now I have to act as if he doesn't exist.

I don't want to tell anyone just cause I don't want to explain

Just freakin sucks

ETA: why is the baggage reclaim a bookmark in my phone? Like why didn't I take the messages from there back whenever I bookmarked it! Smh
 
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He left and than played the victim. I worked to supported us while he was unemployed and as soon as a job offer came he just up and left. I'm left hurt and devestated. I made some mistakes along the way but didn't expect this. Was total blindsided. I called to get clarity but he was downright rude. I don't know how to start healing. Please pray for me
 
proudofmynaps I am praying for you, i know it can be very hard but be of good courage wait on the Lord and He will strengthen your heart. Call on Jesus when the pain seems to much to bare and he will ease the heartache.
 
KammyGirl how are you doing?

I did the coooolest thing. I broke up with my ex and his cell phone/business phone was on my account it was joint and i politely call the company and told them to cancel that line I no longer need it. Therefore I would not be able to call him whenever i want too. . .2 points for me!!
 
gn1g said:
@proudofmynaps I am praying for you, i know it can be very hard but be of good courage wait on the Lord and He will strengthen your heart. Call on Jesus when the pain seems to much to bare and he will ease the heartache.
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gn1g your words touched my heart. I shed a tear. Sometimes you think you're all alone and that's not true. Others have been there. Thank you for your words of kindness.
 
gn1g I am so much better. Time really makes a difference huh? He calls and texts me every now and then and I almost never respond. But at this point I have no feelings for him. He isn't terrible, he just isn't right for me. And obviously I wasn't right for him. If I was he would have been able to be more open and honest with me. He calls himself trying to show me that he's growing and changing by texting me little things and telling me things that frankly aren't my business anymore.

He made a point of telling me recently that he went out with someone on a date while we were together. He doesn't know why he did it but he wanted to be honest with me and not have any secrets. (??? I don't get that but whatever) I didn't respond. If anything he is doing the exact opposite of what he is trying to prove me to me. He's letting me know that it is for the better that we didn't continue.

The guy I started seeing after him - who moved to California - calls and skypes me daily. I skpye with his parents. He's honest (so far) and I am happy. Just got back from visiting him actually and had an amazing time. There are plenty of men in this world. Most will be duds. And that's OK. You only have to find one. I'm not sure if this guy is it but even if he isn't, there will be someone else.

Sorry for my long post. Just wanted to get everything I was thinking out.
 
blackviolet said:
How're you doing? I know it's omly been a month or so but do you feel a little stronger?
SuchMagnificance
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I'm so-so..only because I haven't been able to make a clean break..we talk often..talks of getting back together and then not getting back together..Talks of what we need to fix and if we want to fix it. I just don't know. I'm a little stronger in the sense of knowing that I am a great catch, and that any man would be lucky to have me and knowing that he was the one who needed to get his act together..not me.. But it doesn't make the nights any easier, the days go by faster.
 
its been three weeks. i'm in a world of pain and have exhausted people's willingness to listen (i understand why)
I have been active, prayed, stayed busy and it still hurts. i've burst into tears in public. Lord please deliver me

he popped up on the 'why are you being cold and aren't we friends' b.s. i couldn't even believe it
 
laCriolla said:
its been three weeks. i'm in a world of pain and have exhausted people's willingness to listen (i understand why)
I have been active, prayed, stayed busy and it still hurts. i've burst into tears in public. Lord please deliver me

he popped up on the 'why are you being cold and aren't we friends' b.s. i couldn't even believe it
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Oh my goodness... Im so sorry your hurting this way. I wish there was something i could say to make you feel better. When I went through heartache (years ago) I remember not discussing it with anyone because like you said, they heard it all. I smiled in public & cried behind closed doors. I allowed myself to cry until I no longer wanted to cry again. Eventually, your not going to want to cry anymore. Trust me. Eventually it won't be worth your energy. :)
 
laCriolla said:
its been three weeks. i'm in a world of pain and have exhausted people's willingness to listen (i understand why)
I have been active, prayed, stayed busy and it still hurts. i've burst into tears in public. Lord please deliver me

he popped up on the 'why are you being cold and aren't we friends' b.s. i couldn't even believe it
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I went thru the very same thing. time :sad: one day u will just wake up and you will be stronger and ok. stop communication w/ him.
 
That moment when you're in a store and a song he once said described how he felt about you comes on and you have to leave.

The following moment when you're completely taken aback by your strong reaction and freak out thinking it's probably gonna take a long time to fall out of love with him.
 
Smiley79 said:
Quick question, In your opinion, Does me still feeling the pain of the heart break mean that I haven't let go and moved on yet? I'm so tired of people telling me that...Just because I tell them that sometimes my heart still hurts and still feel emotionally fragile, they think that I'm just not over him and I haven't let go of the whole thing.
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No it does not. You still feel pain about the situation itself. It has nothing to do with the 'man'.
 
It's been a month since he left me. He moved to Texas and left me and the baby. My personality has completely changed. I talk less and became an introvert. I've been keeping things to myself because I think my close friends are tired of me talking about the situation. I put on a brave face at work and cry when the baby is sleep. I feel like the pain will never go away. Plus yesterday he posted a picture of him and another woman. I thought that i was moving on but it totally crushed me. I had to go cry in the bathroom at work. He has moved on with his life and left my son and I to pick up the pieces. I just want to lay in bed and cry my eyes out
 
:bighug: proudofmynaps Honey I am so sorry that this happened to you and your son. I can't begin to come up with what to say to bring you a measure of comfort. Take things one day at a time; I hope you can surround yourself with people who can build you up and offer you a shoulder to cry on or just a listening ear or help with the baby when you just need an emotional time out. I send a hundred hugs and a speedy emotional recovery from this ordeal. If you are a believer of God, please pray every moment you can for strength to get through this for you and your baby.
 
So glad that I found this thread. I've said a few things here an there to various people but haven't fully expressed how I'm feeling to anyone. I think the thread asking for future MIL advice has triggered these feelings, at least more so than normal.

Although it has been a year since my ex and I have broken up, I'm still struggling because I recognize that he didn't love me enough to put me and our relationship first. It didn't matter how much I loved him or how many chances I gave him to do better. Logically, I know that I'm better off without him. He's not a bad person but even he admits that he's a poor decision maker. I know that we had different values. But my heart doesn't care about all that. I just want him to beg me to take him back and want him to be better. Lol.
 
meka I can totally relate. I want my husband to beg me back and acknowledge that he really messed up. I know that's not going to happen though. He has totally moved on and my heart ache. We would get through this but in the mean time we have to go through this storm. My husband didn't love us enough to put our marriage and family first. I do not wish him well at all. I know that I cant heal w/o forgiving him but Im not ready. Right now I'm just struggling with being strong around the baby and crying silently when no one is looking. This sucks
 
Smiley79 said:
:bighug: @proudofmynaps Honey I am so sorry that this happened to you and your son. I can't begin to come up with what to say to bring you a measure of comfort. Take things one day at a time; I hope you can surround yourself with people who can build you up and offer you a shoulder to cry on or just a listening ear or help with the baby when you just need an emotional time out. I send a hundred hugs and a speedy emotional recovery from this ordeal. If you are a believer of God, please pray every moment you can for strength to get through this for you and your baby.
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Smiley79 thank you
 
proudofmynaps said:
meka I can totally relate. I want my husband to beg me back and acknowledge that he really messed up. I know that's not going to happen though. He has totally moved on and my heart ache. We would get through this but in the mean time we have to go through this storm. My husband didn't love us enough to put our marriage and family first. I do not wish him well at all. I know that I cant heal w/o forgiving him but Im not ready. Right now I'm just struggling with being strong around the baby and crying silently when no one is looking. This sucks
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I hate that you have to go through this with your baby. You sound like a strong person and I have faith that you can weather this storm. I tell myself that I have to experience the valleys in order to appreciate triumphs.

I have days when I'm a little more charitable to the ex than others. Lol. I try not to wish bad on him though because, left to his own devices and with the people with whom he associates, he'll bring bad on himself. That said, I've considered dating one of his coworkers out of spite. Lol.
 
It's funny. Although I miss him like crazy, there's no denying that I'm much more at peace without him. And it wasn't even him per se that was causing the havoc, it was my denial about...well.. damn near everything.

The other day I heard this line while I was watching the show Boss- "some things are better left broken". I repeat this to myself every day. I was fighting so hard to try to fix things but 1)I wasn't the one who broke us and 2)it wasn't a situation worth trying to repair. The right solution was always to let it go.
 
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