Thread for the heartbroken
- Thread starter SurferBabe
- Start date
I kind of want to give up. No matter how much people keep saying I'll find someone better, I don't believe them, plus I don't want someone I want him. I am really trying to trust God. I truly believe that God will change everything....anything.
But a lot of time I know that if I give up now, I can rest in the fact it'll never be me, it's like there is some peace in giving up and I can start to adjust to it now. Because all of this time, it still hurts and it's never gotten better.
I don't understand loving two people. That makes no sense to me. I don't get how you can think of someone in such a positive way and treat them so badly.
But a lot of time I know that if I give up now, I can rest in the fact it'll never be me, it's like there is some peace in giving up and I can start to adjust to it now. Because all of this time, it still hurts and it's never gotten better.
I don't understand loving two people. That makes no sense to me. I don't get how you can think of someone in such a positive way and treat them so badly.
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MzLady78
Well-Known Member
@OhmyKimB, I so feel you on the bolded. Just the thought of putting myself in another situation where I might end up feeling how I've been feeling the last few months makes me sick to my stomach. I can't do it. I can't handle another disappointment like this.
I did a lot of wedding stuff with my sister this weekend and I'm like wow, I may never get to plan my own wedding. 10 years ago, I would have NEVER thought that was even a possibility. If I didn't know anything else, I knew I was going to settle down one day and have a family.
@OhmyKimB, I so feel you on the bolded. Just the thought of putting myself in another situation where I might end up feeling how I've been feeling the last few months makes me sick to my stomach. I can't do it. I can't handle another disappointment like this.
I did a lot of wedding stuff with my sister this weekend and I'm like wow, I may never get to plan my own wedding. 10 years ago, I would have NEVER thought that was even a possibility. If I didn't know anything else, I knew I was going to settle down one day and have a family.
Thats how I feel. Its like sadness is my home now. My friend told me I'm too young to think I may not get married or have kids but I also feel like its a reality I may have to accept. And the earlier the better.
Rae81
Well-Known Member
I totally get how u feel and i know its hard to trust God at a time like this. Yesterday i was watching some td jakes videos on youtube and came across one calle "Nothing just happens" and it really touched me. What he was saying is that everything that happens is part of Gods plan and that nothing just happens. there is a reason why your situation happened the way it happened. Im going through something as well, my ex got in another relationship and lied about it i was devastated, then after that he moved her in his house and now she is pregnant. I am so hurt by this because the whole time he was telling me he still had feelings for me and still cared. Then i found out that he was in a relationship. i have to believe that God has something better for me out there and yeah letting go is hard and i have not fully done that yet, out of fear of being lonely. I know my situation happened the way it did so that i will finally let go of him and it had to happen the way it did so that there would be noway that i could stay in his life. I said all that to say that no matter what God is looking out for you, he did not allow you to go through this for nothing.
Highly Favored8
Well-Known Member
He called me on Sunday and told me he "just wanted to hear my voice, thank you and he will always love me". WOW.. I have my closure and I am ready to move on.
My ex and I broke up 5 months ago and he jumped into a relationship a month later and is now engaged to the girl. I don't want him back I'm just upset at having wasted 3 years of my life with him and we overcame a lot of obstacles together and here comes this random girl and all of the sudden he's ready for marriage. It makes no sense.
butter_pecan
Well-Known Member
I wish you the best of luck--talking to someone can do wonders for the healing process. That's a good decision.
Smiley79
Well-Known Member
Thank you, I made an appt today.
Rae81
Well-Known Member
i felt the same way after my breakup and i dont even know how i made it through each day because i was such a wreck. But it will get better, just take it one day at a time. I also wen to see a therapist and it helped alot, and also whenever i would think about him i would immediately try to think about something else and that helped alot. Again it will get better one day you will wake up and realize you are happy again
SmileyNY
Well-Known Member
@Smiley79-
For some reason, this post tagged me in notifications... but everything happens for a reason because I just want to let Smiley79 know that I know exactly how you feel. I had a major breakup a couple years ago that hurt me to the core. I didn't even want to get out of bed in the morning and I considered therapy. At the time I didn't foresee a light at the end of the tunnel.... but the saying is absolutely true! Time heals all wounds!! It took a couple months, but eventually the pain faded.
In fact.... looking back, I honestly can't fully understand nor pinpoint exactly why the whole thing affected me soooo deeply. He definitely wasn't worth it lol.
So, I just want to say that you are normal. You are human. It happens to the best of us. And it does get better. Much better!!
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
I've been there. The emotional rollercoaster is the worst, I'd rather be crying and upset all the time than think I'm getting better and have another breakdown out of nowhere. Don't beat yourself up for your reaction, just take it one day at a time. We're here for you!
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
For some reason, this post tagged me in notifications... but everything happens for a reason because I just want to let @Smiley79 know that I know exactly how you feel. I had a major breakup a couple years ago that hurt me to the core. I didn't even want to get out of bed in the morning and I considered therapy. At the time I didn't foresee a light at the end of the tunnel.... but the saying is absolutely true! Time heals all wounds!! It took a couple months, but eventually the pain faded.
In fact.... looking back, I honestly can't fully understand nor pinpoint exactly why the whole thing affected me soooo deeply. He definitely wasn't worth it lol.
So, I just want to say that you are normal. You are human. It happens to the best of us. And it does get better. Much better!!
Sorry, I didn't realize there was a SmileyNY AND Smiley79, so my initial tag was your SN. But thanks for your post.
TwoSnapsUp
Well-Known Member
Rented a Tyler Perry play "Madea gets a job". It in Madea says to a woman something to the effect of "sometimes God keeps you by yourself, so that you know how to be by yourself. If you don't know how to be by yourself then you will accept anything. Men will be able to do anything to you because they know you are to afraid to be alone and you won't leave him."
Never really thought about it this way. I'm so used to having someone that I'm getting to know that this is the longest time I have been "alone".
Never really thought about it this way. I'm so used to having someone that I'm getting to know that this is the longest time I have been "alone".
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
TwoSnapsUp, that makes so much sense.
I'm also used to having someone, even if it's not a committed relationship.
TwoSnapsUp
Well-Known Member
I don't think about him much anymore. I think about the man I want to marry and he doesn't match the description....
The thing is, it's been going on three years...It would be nice to have someone is my life. That's what bothers me, not having someone.
The thing is, it's been going on three years...It would be nice to have someone is my life. That's what bothers me, not having someone.
Holla
Well-Known Member
Reading this thread made me feel better. Not because I revel in the pain of those who posted but because I *believe* men go through the same thing as women, especially when the ladies tell the men to kick rocks and leave.
I hope my exes are crying into their pillows with restless nights ahead.
Two in particular that I never want to ever see again. The others...who cares Both of them are great on paper, make tons of money, are charismatic and that's all. The one from years ago is married now with a kid and I saw his picture recently. He got fat and his wife looks depressed. I *know* what he is putting her through so I am not surprised. I pray she comes to her senses. 
The other one: Great on paper and great in person. It's what he does when not with him that is telling. I dumped him, told him to never contact me again, and I have ignored his messages because I mean business. I choose who has access to me and his pass has been revoked. He too is going through a rough time (as per his fb page ).
So, trust ladies. These men are going through it themselves. Men who do others dirty, are wallowing in mud and struggling to get out of it themselves.
The person I feel sorry for is the next unsuspecting chick. As for the women whose hearts are broken, my heart goes out to you. Knowing someone is not good for you is not the same as feeling that he is not good for you. Quite the opposite at times.
I hope my exes are crying into their pillows with restless nights ahead.
Two in particular that I never want to ever see again. The others...who cares Both of them are great on paper, make tons of money, are charismatic and that's all. The one from years ago is married now with a kid and I saw his picture recently. He got fat and his wife looks depressed. I *know* what he is putting her through so I am not surprised. I pray she comes to her senses. The other one: Great on paper and great in person. It's what he does when not with him that is telling.
I dumped him, told him to never contact me again, and I have ignored his messages because I mean business. I choose who has access to me and his pass has been revoked. He too is going through a rough time (as per his fb page ).So, trust ladies. These men are going through it themselves. Men who do others dirty, are wallowing in mud and struggling to get out of it themselves.
The person I feel sorry for is the next unsuspecting chick.
As for the women whose hearts are broken, my heart goes out to you. Knowing someone is not good for you is not the same as feeling that he is not good for you. Quite the opposite at times.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
TwoSnapsUp
Well-Known Member
I want so badly to believe this, but in my case, their FB pages tell stories of happiness...
pre_medicalrulz
It Always Been About Hair!
Fb pages are the best places to pretend your life is in the greatest shape.....ijs
Holla
Well-Known Member
Yup! They may try to make it seem like all is well but there is always a post or two revealing some misery, especially if they post a lot.
TwoSnapsUp
Well-Known Member
I suppose so... One particular person posted so much, I used to wonder....
Who the heck is that darn happy?
Anyway, I deactivated that account.
Who the heck is that darn happy?
Anyway, I deactivated that account.
Jenaee
Well-Known Member
He’s marrying her on Sunday. Her being the woman he chose to be with over me. We were never in an official “relationship” but have been dealing with each other for 5 years. I know, it’s my dumbness for even having contact with him so long. He didn’t see my worth and I should have let him go a long time ago. But my dumb feelings kept me there. Told him today how much he hurt me and that this was the last time we’d ever speak. I know with my brain that I deserve better and that maybe a good guy who wants me only will come along. I just wish my heart would believe it.
I feel like someone has died. I’m literally grieving. I keep having to go to the bathroom at work and cry. I don’t know how I’m gonna get thru the day Sunday.
I feel like someone has died. I’m literally grieving. I keep having to go to the bathroom at work and cry. I don’t know how I’m gonna get thru the day Sunday.
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